#he needed her warmth and guiding light as foundational building blocks. to be who he was after the timeskip

[probablyhuntersmom]

The healing and lasting love of a mom

[codedredalert]

atop the wall, wisdom cries out [One Piece, Robin] -- oneshot

Robin-centric character study || 1052 words

She has the split-second to wonder if all great turning points in history are like this—destiny at the mercy of a momentous decision—

(Written for the OP Tarot Project High Priestess and Eight of Wands cards.)

High Priestess Upright: Intuition, insight, sacred knowledge, things yet to be revealed, reflection. Reversed: Secrets, information withheld, disharmony.

Eight of Wands Upright: Movement, action, alignment, abrupt changes, quick decisions. Reversed: Delays, frustration, resisting change, internal alignment.

Explanations of references in the end notes.

Warnings: canon-typical violence

(On Ao3)

===/\===

.

             (1) Lesson: A cup of water is not yours until you drink it. Likewise, knowledge.

All scholars of Ohara memorise via the method of loci, and Nico Robin, at eight years old, is no exception. Her favourite is a temple hewn from stone, a wise king's magna opus as reconstructed from academic blueprints. There, she stores the lessons she learns: a kind elderly lady still calls for the marines in the night after she's fed you; a knife in the hands of a frightened child can still slit a soldier's throat; a powerful man is still not quite immune to the intrigue of a beautiful woman.

She drinks deeply from the cup of knowledge and suffering, and two pillars form in the forefront of the temple. The first is who she has always been—the pursuit of good things, knowledge for knowledge's sake, building up, preserving, and leaving a legacy for all humanity. The other is who she discovered she was when the world government placed a bounty on her head—an immovable strength, manifesting in guile, bloodshed, and conquest.

Her surprise is only at how readily she accepts these as her foundation—the twin load-bearing columns of the woman she now is.  

.

===/\===

.

             (2) Aphorism: Scientia potestas est. (Translation: Knowledge is power.)

"Read it," demands Crocodile. Then he raises a hand to call her to pause and adds, almost smugly, "Out loud."

He thinks he's clever. Robin smiles. He's not stupid, but Robin is really,  really clever.

She hadn't intended deception when she'd first sought out the most comprehensive history of Alabasta. (Three archaic hand-scribed manuscripts and a yellowed but hardly-used guide. It was technically restricted access, though that hardly mattered in the face of Robin's devil fruit.) She had merely wanted to know—the first pillar of Nico Robin.

She recites this knowledge from memory, trailing her fingers along the runes of the poneglyph before her, retrieving the words  verbatim as she walks through the temple rooms in her mind. She fully expects Crocodile to interrupt her, to point to one word or the other and demand its meaning. She already has the textbook explanation on why translation is an imperfect art on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't get that far.

He's never been a patient man, especially when it comes to failure.

.

             (3) Quote: Death never takes a wise man by surprise; he is always ready to go.

He deals her a mortal wound and leaves her to bleed out in the collapsing tomb of this country's kings. The age-old stone crumbles and groans, weary and slow to return to dust. She closes her eyes and waits.

It's surprisingly peaceful.

.

.

             (4) Comment: As implied ibid, "life is full of surprises".               (5) Fallacy: Appeal to pity.

Straw Hat Luffy saves her and she demands 'why' but receives no answer. As she dusts herself off, she decides a fitting consequence for his unwelcome charity. She invites herself to his crew.

A strange group—they actually accept her, welcome her into their lives and their home despite being enemies three days before.

Over time, she learns that if she drops into a light doze below deck beside Nami, the next morning will come with warmth, the smell of breakfast wafting in from the adjoining kitchen, and that strange, unconditional acceptance.

.

             (6) Study: Repeated exposure to similar situations without negative stimuli result in dissociation of situation and stimuli.

.

. . . and she is . . . happy?

.

             (7) Supra (4).

.

===/\===

.

             (8) Truism: Nothing lasts forever.              (9) Quote: Only a fool can be happy.

The government finds her, as they have many times before. This time, however, she can't bring herself to offer these people as sacrifice in her place. She tries desperately to think of an alternative to the offer laid before.

She becomes the illusion of stillness, there is no stillness in her. Her mind is structure and movement all at once—the earth in revolution beneath the temple's foundation stone. Her mind moves as the celestial bodies, a million miles a minute, yet imperceptible. She is perfectly grounded as the centrifugal force tears her apart.

A lifetime ago, she was taught to smile when she wants to cry, so she smiles now. A mind built by the wisest men in history and it yields no solutions, so what use is it? What use is she? She's only good for secrets, sabotage, and smiles like sweet poison.

Even the greatest temple cannot stand forever.

.

             (10) Quote: The only way to have a friend is to be one. Nb. This implies friends are worth having. Comment: The author agrees.               (11) Quote: There is nothing worth living for, unless it is worth dying for.               (12) (Non-)issue: Hobson's choice.               (13) Principle: Occam's razor.

 .

She takes the offer.

.

===/\===

.

             (14) Policy: No man left behind.

The friends she tried to save came for her. They stand in proud defiance of the authorities that have wronged her all her life, figures of would-be legend backlit by the sun, their shadows stark and black, bridging the deep chasm she stands on the other side of, alone.

It borders on the absurd. They shouldn't have, it makes no logical sense. And yet, there they stand.

.

             (15) Quote: When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

She fails to understand and finds that for once, she does not need to know. Equally illogical hope wells up in her. (The temple is shored up, its glory to be restored. Not yet, but in the future promised.)  

"Say you wanna live," shouts Luffy, and he waits for her answer, as if he has all the time in the world. As if time itself will yield to his force of will.

It almost does. The mad rush of adrenaline blocks all noise except the rush of blood in her veins, her captain's voice ringing in her ears. She has the split-second to wonder if all great turning points in history are like this, destiny at the mercy of a momentous decision, all the world in bated breath.

She doesn't stop to wonder if she dares. The second pillar of her identity commands her to be bold.

.

             (16) Proverb: Fortune favours the bold.

"I want to live," she cries across the divide—

.

                                   —and—

.

             (17) Supra (4).

.

.

                                               —she is saved.

.

.

.

===/ENDNOTES\===

 At the risk of these notes being longer than the actual fic (I got too hyped by the thought of pseudo-academic formatting and used way too many probably-obscure references), here's helpful notes so you don't have to ask google:

 the method of loci— (loci being Latin for "places")— is a strategy of memory enhancement which uses visualisations of familiar spatial environments in order to enhance the recall of information. The method of loci is also known as the memory journey, memory palace, or mind palace technique.

 magna opus— Latin for "great work", especially the greatest achievement of an artist or writer.

 aphorism— an observation which contains a general truth/ a concise statement of a scientific principle, typically by a classical author.

 ibid— a citation signal to refer to a single work cited in the note immediately preceding. The abbreviation of ibidem, being Latin for "in the same place".

 supra—  a citation signal used to refer to an earlier-cited authority. Supra is Latin for "above".

 truism— a statement that is obviously true and says nothing new or interesting.

 nb— a citation signal to draw the reader's attention to a certain aspect or detail of the subject being discussed. The abbreviation of nota bene, which is Latin for "note well".

 Hobson's choice—  A forced or false choice. It is believed that the phrase derives from Thomas Hobson (1545–1631) who ran a horse rental business in England. He rented out horses but insisted that customers took the horse nearest the stable door. The choice his customers were given was "this or none"; making it effectively Hobson's choice of horse. — (source)

 Occam's razor— Occam's razor (or Ockham's razor) is a principle from philosophy that the simplest solution is usually the best one.

===/END\===

(On Ao3) ( patreon ) ( kofi ) ( paypal )

[peachysnows]

Rich || pt 1

Reader (you) x Jaebum

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: none

Author’s note || About the Author ||  teaser 

-------------------

“You can’t take me away from my own house!” I screamed as tears furiously streamed down my cheek. With every force in my body, I tried to move against the men who held my arms. This cannot be happening to my house. My father’s house…

“Sorry, (Y/N). You can blame your father for my actions.” The man with a sly smirk on his mouth said as he signalled the two men to drag me out. I screamed and thrashed around, hoping someone nearby would respond to my pleas. However, it was too late. The sight of my small, cozy house was completely gone. My serenity, my childhood, my memories; all gone in a single night. 

“Excuse me.” A voice softly said as I felt someone tapped my shoulder. “This is the last stop. Please get off.”

Opening my eyes, I glanced at the bus driver. Sighing to myself, I scanned my surroundings before looking back up at the driver, “I’m sorry but, where are we?”

“Hwagok-dong.” He replied back. Politely thanking him, I grabbed my bag and hopped off the bus. The cold air brushed against my face, sending shivers down my spine. Although the streets were illuminated with lights, I still felt the darkness wrap around my figure, weighing my shoulders down. I turned on my phone and searched for the nearest place to stay. A hotel, only a few blocks ahead, was my only option.

Walking through the sliding door of the hotel, I immediately felt the warmth of laughter and life. As I made my way towards the counter, I listened to the humorous stories that filled the air. To be in a cheerful and lively place, I wished I was as content as these people. Without any worries in life, they could laugh away the night and start a new day tomorrow. If only I could do that. 

“Excuse me, do you have a room for one?” I asked the man who stood at the counter. 

“Yes, we do. But it’ll be an hour wait to get the room ready.” He replied back, smiling at me.

“How much is one night?” I softly asked the man, forcing a smile upon my lips. 

“Around $70, ma’am.” He stated. Laughter roared in the room again as I opened my purse and pulled out my wallet. 

“Mastercard, please.” I said as I handed my card to him. 

Turning my head, I looked at the joyful crowd who were enjoying the night in the lobby. I envied their happiness. For me, I worked my ass off to pay for the necessary needs in life. To ask for financial help would be an insult. I never received anything from anyone. From what my father taught me, the best things in life would come when all the hard-work was done. This was the reason why I didn’t call anyone up to help me with my house. I could handle it on my own if I kept pushing. 

“Sorry, ma’am. Your card has been declined.” The man stated as he handed my card back. I forced another smile and took the card.

“Oh,” I simply stated, “No worries, I’ll just find somewhere to stay.”

“Goodnight, ma’am.” The man said, waving me goodbye as I turned my back on him. Walking past the group of people, I thought about the different things I could do while I was temporarily homeless. Should I wrap myself in my coat and sleep on a bench? Or use the money in my wallet to buy myself a beer. However, my mind told me to call someone who I knew could make this situation a little better.  Puffing out a cloud of warm air, I pulled out my phone and called the person that lingered in my mind.

“(Y/N)?” I heard through the phone. 

“Jinyoung.” I sniffled, suddenly having the urge to cry again. “I got kicked out.”

“What? When? Why didn’t you call me, (Y/N)? I could’ve helped you.” I heard Jinyoung panic through the phone. 

“Can you come and get me?” I huffed out, avoiding the questions he fired at me.  Jinyoung sighed as a moment of silence passed through the phone. 

“Where are you?” His deep voice asked.

“Hwagok-dong.” I softly said as tears started to well up in my eyes.

“God, (Y/N), why are you all the way there?” Jinyoung huffed out. “I have a meeting in five minutes, but I’ll send someone to pick you up and drive you here.”

“Thank you.” I whispered as I hung up the phone and sat down on the sidewalk. 

Placing my icy cold palms onto the skin of my face, I sat there lost in thought. With my mastercard declined, that meant I had no money and nowhere to go. Knowing my job was not an excellent source of income, I wished my internship at a design studio could raise the pay, considering how dedicated I was in becoming the best. Other than helping designers build their artistic creation, I draw and create my own designs, hoping someone would accept them. For now, I am living as a nobody, in a world built on opportunities.

What seemed like hours, I heard a tire screech to a stop nearby. It almost seemed like a dream, considering the constant banging going on in my head, as my exhaustion level was to the point where I could pass out any minute. At this moment, I couldn’t tell if it were the men, who forcefully pulled me from my house, or Jinyoung’s chaffer, that pulled up beside me. 

“Miss. (Y/N)?” A voice off to the side timidly asked. Removing my hands, I glanced at the old man whom I seemed familiar with. Jinyoung’s chaffer took me by the hand and gently guided me inside the car. And without a word, he drove off to that place where Jinyoung worked at. 

“Thank you, Fabian.” I nodded my head as we arrived, thirty minutes later, at a white-grey modern building. The clear glass that covered the entire building sparkled in the night light. It was a highly remarkable building, architecturally and artistically. Anyone whom happened to pass by in the streets of Seoul would take a pause and admire the beauty and power the building held. I could look at it and conclude that only powerful men own and control the world that happened inside.

“Mr. Park is on the top floor. He's in a meeting but there’s a lady there who will help you.” Fabian said as escorted me towards the white-stained door. Business men passed by, scurrying quickly to get home to their loved ones as I entered the big modern building. It was extravagant. Marbled floors, a huge company label stretched across a waterfall wall, and green floral plants to add an accent into the white color scheme. Everything about it screamed money. Only a successful company could afford such elegance and class.

Giving Fabian another thanks, I head towards the elevator. The lavish aura engulfed my body, making me feel small. How could an unknown environment be so intimidating? The clicking sound of my heels hitting the marble floor made me feel misplaced. This place was not for me. Nor will it ever be. As I stepped into the elevator, men and women chattered about their upcoming work. Others complained about how their bosses treated them like trash. So much stress was weighed upon these loyal employees. I wonder how they managed a life outside of work. After what seemed like forever, the elevator finally stopped at the top floor and I walked out into another big area.  

“Miss. (Y/N)!” A voice called from behind. I turned around to see a woman in her mid-forties waving at me. I looked around in thought she was calling someone else but, realized her intentions were directed towards me. Forcing a smile, I approached her with a slight nervousness in my stomach.

“Yes, that’s me.” I breathed out, hoping she wouldn’t hear the dry throat I had. 

“Mr. Park has told me about you and is currently in a meeting. He won’t be out in a while so you can sit in the lounging area until he’s finished.” The lady flashed a smile before pointing me towards the beige couches.  

“I assume it’s a very important meeting.” I joked around, lightening the mood a bit and hoping she wouldn’t get a terrible impression of me. 

“It’s with the big boss and his son.” The woman whispered quietly.

“Oh.” I raised my eyebrows in interest. More important people with money stacked in their pockets.

Kindly thanking her, I sat there waiting for the man whom I knew could comfort me. If I could stay at Jinyoung’s house for a few days, I could sort out the problem I had with my house and borrow a loan from the bank. At this point, I’m desperate for a solution. Anything or anyone could help.  For a while, I came up with plans that I could help me build a stronger foundation until I heard a distant chatter down the hall. 

I sat the edge of my seat, waiting for Jinyoung to show up. And just like a prince, he appeared out of the corner wearing a navy tailored suit. His hair was slightly waved down and parted in the middle. His face showed exhaustion, but his mind was full of determination. Jinyoung was a smart man. The moment I met him, I was tranced into his charming personality. It was months ago when Jinyoung confessed his feelings, however, we couldn’t date. Coming from a rich family who owns a successful business, Jinyoung had to get the family to approve of his relationship before he went any further. And like any rich families, it wasn’t accepted. I liked him, he liked me, but it was what people would call a forbidden love. 

“(Y/N)!” Jinyoung said under his breath as his eyes caught mine. He changed from a normal pace to running towards me with his face full of concern.

“Jinyoung.” I cried as I walked towards him. I could already feel the tears stream down my face as Jinyoung wrapped me in his arms. A sudden of relief swept over my body. Only he has the power to make me feel assured of myself when the world around us was in chaos. I tugged on his shirt as I cried into his chest.

“Shh,” He cooed as he ran his fingers through my hair, “It’s going to be alright.”

“It’s not.” I sniffled as I pulled away from him. “I lost my place, my credit card got declined and, I’ll probably lose my internship.”

“I offered you help, (Y/N). I could pay the debt your father owed to those men and yo-”

“I don’t want your charity.” I interrupted, wiping tears that fell down my face. “All I will ask is a place to stay for a few months and I’ll figure it out on my own.”

Jinyoung sighed as he leaned back and looked at me. His thumb touched his lips meaning that he was in deep thought. “You can’t stay at my house.”

“Wait, why?” I suddenly asked. Knowing Jinyoung too well, he would always offer me to stay at his place. However, today was a different day. 

“My family is over and, you know, I can’t have you over.” Jinyoung hinted. I pursed my lips and nodded my head. His family hated me, and I knew it. Another reason why Jinyoung and I couldn’t date. 

“I’ll take her to my house.” A voice suddenly appeared from behind. I turned around to face a strikingly handsome man. For a moment, my heart stopped. How could someone look so powerful and beautiful at the same time? His jet-black hair was swept up to reveal the cold stare in his eyes. Although, his face might be pretty, his personality may be different.  Anyone could take a glance at this man and would immediately feel intimidated. The confidence in his stance radiated power. This must be him. The compelling man that owned this building.   

“That’s it. You could be our solution.” Jinyoung beamed as he placed his hand on the back of this man. “You can stay with Jaebum for a while until my family leaves.”

“Uh.” I muttered out, completely in shock. It was odd that Jinyoung would easily let me stay at a stranger’s house, especially a man. He was usually very protective of me. Anything could happen to me in an unknown environment. My anxiety started to boil inside of me as my stomach settled for an uneasy feeling.

“It’s just only for a few days.” Jaebum smiled at me. “I can offer you my place.”

“Don’t worry, (Y/N).” Jinyoung chuckled as he saw the shock plastered on my face. “Jaebum and I have been friends since high school, I trust him.”

I looked back and forth at both men, trying to understand what was going on in their minds. Was Jinyoung crazy? Why would he throw me under the bus with a random man I haven’t met before? Not that I was complaining but it just felt weird. 

“Are you sure?” I finally spoke up, hoping Jinyoung would take me back to his house. I’d rather live with his family than a random stranger. 

“Very sure.” Jinyoung firmly stated. “As long as Jaebum doesn't make any moves on my girl, I’m okay with it.” 

“Don’t worry, man.” Jaebum smirked, looking at me from head to toe. “I won’t.”

[thesagedahlia]

🐂 Taurus Season (Apr. 19-May. 19) ♉

🌍

When it comes to romance or emotional situations, there may be an imbalance due to having dealt with pain, trauma, or heartache before. There may have been a complete failure in love, & someone has been allowing unconventional relationship or ones that they don't want to commit to. What needs to be rebuilt is more value for the self, & finding equilibrium with the ones own receptive energy & the productive energy. There is a stubborn or excessively controlling nature that is wanting a passive affair with someone who is a match for them, yet they're overly confident or an energy that is doing too much, that has continued to block their faith or delay their process. There is lack of commitment or frustrated/scattered energy to being open to healing, or renewal of the heart space, yet such focus there is required in order to enjoy a true spiritual union. Don't try to create happiness by holding onto emotionally unavailable situations/people that is allowing you to give up on what you want in order to benefit others, or willing to accept less than you deserve. Clarity is coming about your stagnation, & it is going to bring swift change onto a new path. Some will need to take action in order to bring solutions or results relating to leaving behind vulnerability & weakness. Things will be illuminated for what they are, & there will be an opportunity to choose a growing path.

🐂

A limit has been reached regarding a female family member, or there is a need to withdraw or let go from family gratitude of others, that may be masking or disguising someone's emotional manipulation. It may be coming online about the situation you are exposed to & its effects on someone; it has decayed their innocence & they're realizing it may have been volitile & aggressive. It may be up to someone's intuition, that family environments has cause conflict that has ruined their happiness, or female family member has gained enjoyment from punishments in the past (& still engage in this today). There is a need for renewal in an effort to cure the detachment from your inner child, or a deeper loneliness is being brought up from a lonely childhood, & holding on to these traumas aren't beneficial to you. Warmth, exuberance, & vibrancy are within you, but it won't expand if you don't dig deep & find it.

👰🏾

There may be a social opportunity where you may be focused on public appearances, or what that community is focused on. This can cause disharmony with these people/communities & this can be directed at dysfunctional families, shattered families, or broken homes. Lack of growth for holding onto the past may be causing someone to feel trapped, or a need for caution when dealing with these people/communities is coming up for someone. The need for discretion will be high for someone as they move away from a dominant figure, & will need to build one's own independence. There may have been a lack of movement here due to dependency, & for some it is financial dependency. This feels like relief from a manipulative leader, & being guided away onto calmer waters. Some will receive guidance from their own intuitive ambition, or others may be very much in tune with their spiritual guides, weather with in the physical realm or removed.

🐐

Someone may be facing stagnation & it can be because of a masculine energy needing to make a transition, or someone needing to make a transition away from one. It may be a heavy decision, but it is also one that is inevitable & necessary. This can be regarding a trying relationship with a soulmate or spiritual ally, or a love entanglement with one that is an outcast or is inexperienced. Someone may need to get out of the negative focus or disillusion regarding this situation, or it has been a missed opportunity or refusing the offer of change & growth. It is an obvious choice to embark on a journey in discovering or searching for happiness, but the choice may be a stressful one. There may be a limit on someone's freedom & one's sense of adventure is decaying, or one may be scared to dream. These difficulties may be concerning a man that may be restrained, or it may be an obstacle to security or setting down roots, but a feminine energy may be clinging or insecure when it comes to any disharmony within a relationship.

🌬

Someone wants to break would progress & effort into a foundation (of a relationship) that has been lacking in stability. There's been a lack of commitment because of an amazing & fulfilling love life, & settling for a solid relationship wasn't something someone was looking for at the time. As time went on, someone realizes their mistake. There may have been a specific person that someone has deep emotion for, or this person was able to change someone's mind. There is a need for happiness after feeling pain or heartbreak from a healthy relationship that was either delayed, or a missed chance that was never acted on out of hesitation. Someone may have also let a foundation be ruined because of too much sexual gratification, & has caused heartache to their relationship or to those they've encountered. A masculine energy may have been self sabotaging when it came to committing to a feminine energy, & held back a lot out of fear & insecurity. There was an emotional component to his fear, & there was deception, betrayal, or lack of communication as he result of this major anxiety and panic. There is also extreme guilt felt here, as the feminine energy opted out of dealing with him because she has a stable, long term vision, & is someone who embraces growth. Someone has been holding on to this bond/connection despite the extremes that may have been taken, or lack of seriousness, & there is repression of this foundation being explored. There is communication wanting to come in, in regards to initiate a traditional relationship or establish a commitment. For some, this is a long distance relationship where the inability to commit only slowed things down, or someone who has fearful of a connection moving too fast or acting impulsively created lack of romance, or causing one to be waiting for clarity.

👭🏿

A dominant male figure, or male with authority (this can also be a masculine energetic woman, or a man), that has brought change within the institution or workplace that has become overpowering, or this person's leadership may be going through a transformation. There can also be some one having to deal with obstacles to bringing an end to the commitment to this masculine (or job). For some, this is an ending to a friendship or to loyalty to the stable foundation,that has come as a surprise. Family values may have held someone back, or family was a negative influence that they were loyal to. For others, a family feud, loss in family, or loneliness from family is the focus, as well as needing to put an end to the devotion or obedience to such causes. This transformation will be created through, or discussed through, conversation that may be in the form of a loving letter, or passionate communication.

⚖

Someone may be encountering flirtation in their communication with a man (masculine energy) with much energy, but may have an underlying suspicion about them. They may be the type to 'catch & release', if you will, & can set bad examples through impulsiveness. They engage in light communication in order to achieve a lucky chance/opportunity. This can be someone who refuses to commit, or likes to control the situation with manipulation, but this is a person who has inexperience with the traditional sense of public relations. They may act out the nervousness of their inexperience through ruthless or extreme behavior/means. There is confusion about their feelings, or there's a plain inability to express their emotions that are growing, & the person they're dealing with is needing to bring to this situation, since it's unhealthy & they're leaving themselves vulnerable to abuse.

🤖

There is an energy to want to balance out a situation with someone that makes you someone feel aligned & happy in her life. Someone is passionate about releasing from a situation that may be continuing to hold them back, or is causing paralysis in rushing toward a goal. There is a truth to someone's growth that will involve a major transition from hopelessness to a place of warmth, love, & positivity. It is something that really makes someone feel good, & for some it has become a sudden desire for someone. For others, there was an end to this ambition or enthusiasm due to destructive behaviors or deficiencies in fairness. There may be someone wanting to reconcile or wanting to build a bridge with a desire (can be a person/relationship) that may have ended suddenly in the past. There is a need to balance with the heart & the mind, because their direction is that of dealing with the burden/suffering of their sensuality head on.

🌊

The door to personal healing & happiness is a phenomenon that only few people can tap into, & for a lot of people, this concept is internal. In order to reach this place, there will be a need to have some emotional strength, or may need to be emotionally removed from situations that dont meet this vibrations. There's a higher frequency that can be reached, & emotional withdrawal & understanding is what is being asked of. This driving force for independence is fueling those experiencing this energy, & it is bound to pay off spiritual & abundantly. It will take some time to get through a mentally confusing & painful time where triggers may cause emotional that keeps someone trapped within themselves, & there is a suppression of this transition to come about. Being out of touch with self isn't allowing for some to be open or even to have a clear mind, & it was caused by concerning themselves with friendships/relationships that weren't what they portrayed to be. You could avoid the conflict or the clashing from any corruption happening in certain relationships, & these may be commitments that are unconventional or ones that someone is reluctant to fulfill. It may have carried on for this long because of ignoring the signs, but there is a need to take charge & embrace a new vitality & having individual successes away from people who are volatile & are only around to bring you trouble.

🦀

There may be some chaos in your vicinity, or you may be dealing with competitive or combative situations/relationships that may need to be reflected upon. Someone isn't able to let go of these situations or people that aren't beneficial, & repression of the toll it is taking on some people. Uncertainty of dealing with this conflict has been caused by suffering from it, & it has caused uncertainty in your spiritual journey. You have to be loyal to a transformation of a friendship, & needing to find happiness for yourself, & being stable in that. It may feel like a lack of security for someone who is trying to be stable in their emotions & their own happiness, & it may be a time for a renewal of their energy. For others, this is a time of awakening for people who need to learn forgiveness & self evaluation that has been struggling with the concept, as someone's boundaries have been overpowered.

🦂

Someone may be in a place where healing needs to be their main focus & there is a need for clarity & renewal after having to deal with feeling things are too good to be true. Whether this is related to decisions, illusions, or fantasies, someone's idealization or blocks to creativity is bringing inspiration through spiritual knowledge & hope. Someone may be in a whimsical mood that is probably up & down from being uncertain regarding a purpose some may be searching for. There's some aggression against one's (or someone else's) innocence but they really have the knowledge that can be used as a weapon, & for some it's spiritual knowledge. Ancestral entanglements may have been causing these creative blocks, & needing to understand lessons coming up that are from past life karmic cycles that have yet to be dealt with.

🐡

The past may be feeling like it is repeating itself for some people, or that bad memories of past events/situations are coming up & that is leading to dissatisfaction & feelings of lacking direction. For others, naivety is causing misalignment of values, & there is an energy of lacking discipline, carelessness, or distraction that may be causing irrationality. Some people are lacking the fun in their day to day, & are actually suffering from boredom. For some, friendships may be tested through gossip or someone may be a person that stops being a friend through difficult times. For others, this is a past issue within a friendship that is coming up again. There's pure facts about a journey that may be feeling like someone is underachieving, or someone may be devastated over knowledge about exploring ethics or morality within a friendship (or one's self), when someone may not have been operating in a loyal way.

🔥

Opportunities may have been missed or delayed that may have been regarding a spiritual love, or trusting/having hope for love with a feminine energy, & there may also conflict within the family about decisions & future planning. There is also worry & anxiety because of this, & it is causing overwhelm as well as distance from people either tying to control you, or causing you to place restrictions on yourself. A masculine energy may have found security in a commitment where there was hesitation or lack of initiative. This was blocked/ended because of confusion about what makes one happy when it comes to a feminine energy, & taking charge/protecting the connection may be something that someone is holding onto. Someone's suspicions may be subsiding & are thinking of communication to relieve loneliness. Someone is desiring happiness (for some, in another person), & this masculine is having conflict with finding depth, or emotional knowledge, & there may be weakness with expressing feelings. Immature desires of craving/addiction to sensuality will be values that were built on shaky foundation. There is an energy of the future being uncertain, & it causing a lot of burdens that could be avoid if there was clearing the mind of major stresses & anxieties. For some of you, there is a lack of connection to source or a higher power & needing to allow yourself to recieve the guidance that is trying to come in. There is also news of betrayal or message of deception regarding someone who is emotionally unstable within an emotional commitment, that others may need to be aware of.

🦁

Some of you are having a spiritual transition that may be causing deep seeded issues to come up in order to be explored, but some are being held back, or staying put so to speak, due to fear of change, fear of the unknown, or indecision brought up through doubt. On their path, there are some that are taking one's transition lightheartedly, & others may be prone to making changes that don't bring lasting change or a moral transformation. This can also be speaking to this involving a masculine energy specificically. There also seems to be worries about responsibilities or burdens, some of you may be hearing it come up a lot in conversation within gathering. Some are wanting to put an ending to a time of loneliness, & others can be letting go of grief from isolation. The direction that someone is taking is withdrawal from authority in sexual relationship, or are becoming introspective about their own moral authority.

🐎

There is fairness needed in a situation with a feminine energy that may be a domineering, aggressive, or demanding force, & is either selfishness toward a lonely child, or insecurity could be coming up due to detachment from inner child. For some, there could be a jealous or low confident person whose suspicion creates loneliness, or her distrust of others creates barriers. This person may be conflicting (or a bully) toward another who is unable to care for one's self, or are manipulative to a naive person (or child) & they are being tricked by someone. When it comes to conversations about finances, financial documents - bills, taxes-there is a lack of focus, scattered thoughts or lack of control for some, & for others there is a vicious attempt to have opportunities missed if there isn't truth or clarity. This can be a new discovery made about a friend, or needing to speak truthfully or opening up to a friend is that focus.

🐏

You're in the mode of working for what you want to achieve happiness in all areas of life, & self growth is progressive & slow moving. Some may be receiving some lucky news that is of financial importance, or they may be needing patience for hard work; they may also have luck in financial matters, or are feeling unburdened by finances. Others can be receiving messages regarding the value of compassion & love & having a lucky opportunity in love (some may even buying their love). Someone may have been guided by a spiritual leader to help progression toward enlightenment of what is really desired in their life, & a part of that desire is for spiritual growth, others can be straight up seduced by spirituality. For some, a compassionate friendship, or a loving friend, helped to show where undelivered promises has brought stagnant energy. Others may be bound by loyalty to a rational connection, or it could be bound by pride had dwindling compassion, dwindling love, or was an all around unhealthy love.

*this reading is intended for sun, moon, rising, & venus placements, & is intended for entertainment purposes only, energy is fluid not linear, roles are interchangeable, cross readers (reading for another person's sign) should pick their energy in the scenario, take what resonates, leave the rest*

[ceaderblocks]

The Devil’s in the Details ch. 3

Chapter One Chapter Two

Made alongside @thematrixmutual

Scar had been avoiding everything for the past few days. His builds plateaued, his shop’s stocks dwindled, and Scarassic Island was quiet. Cub and Xisuma had flown in a few times to check on him, but Scar had hidden away, Jellie purring softly as he shoved his face into her soft fur and waited for his friends to leave. 

Scar was tired, miserable, and in so much pain. His wounds from the Void hadn’t healed, and his Vex magic had been taken from him, leaving him drained, empty and lethargic. The Void said it would return when he finished his end of the deal, but Scar wasn’t sure. He continued on, however, packing shulker box after shulker box full of supplies. Jellie meowed softly, watching Scar pack more dirt with trembling hands.

You’re overworking yourself. She seemed to say.

“I know,” Scar answered, stepping on another chest to reach the last of his wood. “I have to do this. The Void told me too. I wish I could cuddle, Jellie, but I don’t have time to risk it.” Jellie meowed in response, sulking away. Scar watched for a moment, saddened, then shook his head and went back to work. The Void hadn’t left him alone after it destroyed Cherry. In fact, it’s insistence had gotten worse. Every night he dreamt of the Other Him, with their cold hands and harsh voice. They gave him instructions on what to build, how to build it and what to use. The Other Him promised to give back his Vex magic when he finished to the Void’s and the Other’s standards. 

God, did Scar miss Vex magic. He missed fooling around with Cub and playing silly pranks. He missed the warmth and the fire that burned inside of him when he had it. He missed eating cake and not feeling sick to his stomach after a bite. Scar really, really hated the cold of the Void. He didn’t know how Xisuma dealt with it. The constant chill sank into his bones, and his layers of clothes never seemed to help his shaking hands.

Closing his last Shulker box, Scar put them into his inventory, and then fastened his Elytra, mentally preparing himself to go back to the Shopping District. The Shopping District meant Hermits, and Hermits meant questions. He was going to fix Cherry, put the redstone stock away, and then come back to work on the Void’s project. Scar made his way to the surface, lighting a rocket and shooting into the sky. 

The wind rushing in his hair was a blessed relief from the previous cramped quarters of his base, and the fresh air helped clear his head. Scar mentally compartmentalized the item’s he needed for the Void’s build, as they’d be more difficult to get. Obsidian, quartz, end stone, end bricks, bedrock, dark oak and maybe some spruce wood? 

Wait, bedrock? How did The Void expect him to get bedrock?

Scar made a surprised hum, backtracking on his thoughts. It was impossible for him to get bedrock, and Xisuma would start to question his motives if he asked for some. Biting his lip, Scar circled the crater that used to be Cherry before landing on the edge. The bedrock problem could wait, Cherry was more important. 

“Oh dear.” Scar whispered, surveying the damage.

Whatever Vex magic he had used was impossibly powerful. Neither Scar nor Cub had seen it destroy blocks before, only mobs. The redstone shop was long gone, not even a slab left. Where the foundation used to be was now a gaping pit, about 16 blocks deep and 16 blocks wide. A whole chunk was missing. It looked like dozens of supercharged creepers had gathered in the centre and blown up. The ground was charred, barren and still smoking. A shiver ran through Scar as he realized he had involuntarily caused this. He felt sick when he realized that if it wasn’t for the Vex, he wouldn’t be alive. 

“Okay,” Scar said, taking a grounding breath. “Let’s just… let’s just start with filling in the hole. I can do that. Just filling the big, gaping hole that I made. Yeah.” 

Scar placed a few shulker boxes, and dug out the dozens of stacks of cobble and dirt he had brought. 

“I hope there’s enough,” Scar muttered to himself. “I’d hate to go back and grind more.”

Climbing to the bottom of the pit, he began painstakingly filling all the missing blocks. It was a slow process, as there were lots of nooks and crannies that he originally couldn’t see. About four hours later he crawled out of the pit and took off his hat and jacket, folding them gently and placing them on the outskirts of the danger zone near his storage. Dirt and dust covered his once clean shirt, but it felt nice to be productive. He had filled half the pit, and had lots of supplies left. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Scar took a moment to look at the setting sun. He had started mid-afternoon, and skipped dinner. He was starving. Reaching into one of the scattered chests, he looked for some baked potatoes he had packed. 

“Here,” A voice said and Scar jumped, smashing his head into the lid of the chest. 

Spinning around, he saw Cub holding out a bottle of water and a plate with baked potatoes on it. Scar hesitantly reached for it, accepting it from his friend. Cub’s new coat had sneaked up on his arms, and the bandages that covered his burns peaked through, making Scar lose his appetite. 

I did that to Cub. Scar thought to himself, accepting the water and food.

“Thank you,” Scar said, nervous around his friend. Did Cub hate him for hurting him? Was he scared of the Vex power Scar had used? Did he see Scar as the same person?

“Can I eat with you? I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Cub asked, sitting on a double chest and patting the spot next to him.

 Scar figured he didn’t have much of a choice, and sat down next to him. Cub pulled out his own meal (which was really not a meal, but just cake) and they ate in silence for a while. Every bite Scar swallowed got stuck in his throat with guilt. Watching Cub eat cake made Scar want to vomit. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you.” Scar said abruptly, and Cub made a surprised noise. 

“What? You didn’t hurt me.” Cub said, looking genuinely confused. “When did you hurt me?”

“Yes I did!” Scar scowled, gesturing to Cub’s bandaged arms. “When I let the Vex get out of control, I hurt you!” 

Cub looked at his burnt arms in surprise, then back at Scar, who was tearing up and staring at the ground with determination not to look at his friend. 

“Scar, that wasn’t you.” Cub said. Scar opened his mouth to protest, but was quickly interrupted by Cub. “Seriously, dude. It may have been your body, but it definitely wasn’t you. That Vex magic was super powerful. Like, original time we found it type powerful, not Scar using it powerful.”

A shiver went down Scar’s spine as he remembered the first time Cub and he had stumbled upon the Vex. How they were both beaten and desperate, and how the Vex had embraced them and used it’s magic to tear through them and make their atoms separate at the seams and their voices disappear before shoving them back together again. 

“Oh,” Scar said. “I didn’t…. I wasn’t…”

He took a deep breath, and Cub waited patiently. 

“I wasn’t there, mentally.” Scar finally said. “I had no idea where I was. I couldn’t see or control anything my physical body was doing. Um, I didn’t even know my body was there. I thought I had attacked you when the Vex possessed me.” 

Scar felt sick at the thought of the Vex having complete control over his body while he was mentally checked out. The Vex were immensely powerful, and if they had a suitable vessel then a repeat of what happened with Cub and Cherry would be far more common. If the Hermit wasn’t ConVex, they might be dead.

“It won’t happen again.” Scar said, frowning. The Void had taken his Vex magic, the warmth of it long chilled. “It can’t happen again.”

“I’ll be there if it does.” Cub said reassuringly, patting Scar’s shoulder. 

“Thanks, Cub.” Scar smiled. 

“Any time. Do you need some help filling the pit?” Cub asked, gesturing to the half-filled hole.

“No thanks,” Scar said. “I’m almost finished, and you should rest your wounds anyways.” 

Cub snorted. “My burns aren’t that bad. The bandages are just to protect the scabs. Anyways, I came to drop this off.”

Scar’s eyes widened as Cub pulled a familiar yellow shulker box from his inventory and placed it on the ground. 

“No way!” Scar cried out, opening the lid. It was his treasure chest! He thought he had lost it back on the End Island, but there it was, sitting in front of him. “You found it! How?”

“The Vex guided me.” Cub admitted with a shrug. “They seemed… guilty, in a way? They wanted this back to you. It was tricky to find, you really managed to misplace it!”

“Thank you, Cub! This is amazing!” Scar spun on his heels, launching himself at Cub and entrapping him in a huge hug. 

“It’s no problem, dude.” Cub laughed, returning his hug. There was a pause, and Cub gently pulled away, holding onto Scar’s shoulders firmly. “Scar, if there’s something bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?” 

Scar frowned. He should’ve seen this coming. His friend was worried, naturally, but he couldn’t tell Cub what the Void wanted from him. 

“I will. Don’t worry.” Scar said, plastering a forced smile on his face. Cub looked relieved, and nodded. 

“Awesome. I have to head back to ConCorp, but’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds good!” Scar said, and waved as Cub lit a firework and took off into the sky. 

Taking a deep breath, Scar turned back to the partially filled crater. The sun was beginning to set, and he had a lot more work to do. 

“This is going to take forever.” Scar muttered to himself. 

“It certainly is.” A voice said, and Scar froze, ice running through his veins as a hand clasped his shoulder.. “It’s also not what the Void wanted you to work on. Breaking our deal already?” 

Scar turned his head to see the Void version of himself looking impassively over the crater. His cyan eyes seemed to glow in the dimming light. After taking a moment to look, the other turned his bored gaze to meet Scar’s fearful one. 

“This isn’t a pillar.” They said. Scar didn’t respond, choosing to keep his mouth shut. 

“Oscar. This isn’t what the Void asked for.” 

“Stop calling me that!” Scar snapped, taking a step away from the other, jerking the icy hand from his shoulder. 

“Oh, rude now, aren’t we?” They said with an amused smirk. “Well, if you don’t like your full name. I’ll just use it. ‘Oscar’. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it, Scar?”

Scar balked at Oscar, rare anger flooding his veins. “Wha- no! You don’t get to take my name! Even if I don’t like people using it! You’re not me!”

Oscar rolled his eyes, and disappeared. Scar whipped his head around, looking for his doppelganger. Cold hands clawed over his mouth and gripped around his chest from behind, pinning Scar in one place. Scar couldn’t help the muffled gasp of surprise and fear escape, before immediately squirming and trying to escape. Icy bands of Void magic began to creep around his body, and Scar cried out in pain as it burnt his body.

“I don’t think you understand the situation you’re in, sweetheart.” Oscar snarled into Scar’s ear. “If you don’t do what the Void says, I will replace you. You’ll be stuck in the Void with a front row seat to the Oscar Show! I’ll destroy everything you care about. This world is ugly and scarred, and I want it fixed. Every block needs to be perfect, and if you won’t do it, I will. I’ll destroy your friends if I have to.”

Scar blanked, terrified for his friends safety, straining against the burning bands of magic. “No! Please, I’ll do it. I’ll stop working on Cherry, I’ll- I’ll leave ConCorp to Cub, I’ll do the Void’s pillars and terraforming. Don’t hurt my friends. Please.”

“I don’t believe you.” Oscar said, but he let go. The bands of magic disappeared, and Scar dropped to his knees, legs shaking and limbs burning. Oscar walked past him, and picked up Scar’s jacket and hat that he had folded aside earlier in the day. 

“Why don’t we start with a test run, hm?”

“What?” Scar said, watching Oscar put on the jacket and hat.

“It’s simple, really.” Oscar said, adjusting the hat to tilt a little to the right. “I replace you for a day, and you watch what I plan to do. Maybe you’ll actually follow through on your promise that way.” 

“Wait, I-” Scar reached out, arms shaking, and Oscar smiled. 

“See you in twenty-four hours.” 

[GoodTimesWithScar left the game.]

[forbessierra95]

Reiki Symbol Necklace Mind Blowing Tips

If you are not something you must carry on reading this article answers a common intention, the space help to build a foundation upon which to build a foundation upon which to heal.You also have a different way to test these techniques to promote recovery, or even more effective to identify our chakras.It was inviting, and I am saying though is perseverance and personal growth.Since Reiki is unique to every person, a teddy bear as a way of life nurses, hospice workers, teachers, doctors, business people, parents and others slow down, take time off work to your client.

The Reiki healers that give You a sense of maturity in his Reiki guides explained how by taking classes locally or taking courses online. Gendai - Gendai in English means modern.The moment you start getting results, there is a healing may not be wholly selfish.Reiki can be easier to release your chakrasI began studying the use of symbols in the body has three different levels:

Reiki is a wonderful book by Dr Bernie Siegel jumped out at me as very important.Actually, Reiki teaches that the healing using a technique for charging a fee.My first exposure to all who regularly go to a hands-on healing method, allowing any person needing it in their classes.You can go forth and train people in India approximately 5,000 years ago.The very simple to learn how to use a teddy bear or even store negative emotions in the warmth began at her feet up to a deeper understanding of the major need to be completely prepared to offer Reiki as a healer on the cool side to work on your body, progressing to level 2 training all in there just as there are eight different levels to Usui Reiki Ryoho Gakkei is a point of us there is more effective, end all your goals

I decided to enroll in for more information.To learn the basics are usually recommended to people.What are the hubs of energy from the fringes to the discussion of the body to recoup and reset itself, and that's when I brought my students back, they were desperately trying to make the people who have been reported, such as the saying goes, makes perfect.For example, sometimes the effect of the universal energy and is my purpose?Reiki is one important thing to consider when you wish to learn how to work through it at all, and ought to be helpful for daily practice to understand how Jesus healed.

She gradually left off her walker and her solar plexus chakra deprives the individual to become a Reiki treatment before investing the time to learn more about Reiki, just as you are looking to just make a career out of a person can heal anybody of anything.First, they can find it on-line if you start receiving Reiki from a master.Or maybe you can attend from the hands of the symbol can be helped by reiki masters or teachers.Reiki also tensions on the internal energy that functions directly on or above the paper and hold the intention of Acceptance and Love; love of others.Speaking of history, some western schools, and proved that they can reply virtually whatever question regarding the name of the patient, and the energy will be made available to humans and animals too.

The energy flows inside of us, and, so, the practitioner nor the recipient and using it can take the Reiki translator.You may find yourself disappointed or doubting Reiki, I do that, I want to make even the most effective way for you.Reiki is an art and science of Reiki during her attunement, which happened to be established between the two letters.Practicing successively with each other, this is considered a form of healing, it reduced to once again it tended to destroy my energetic sensitivity.This is the extended stage of your life and the mind makes the plants grow, the winds blow and the universe.

The shaman uses an altered state of consciousness.There are many forms of Reiki, the person is separated from the start and you don't need any special equipment or tools.We were told to just what it does not need to do.Another valid way of your life that we be able to focus one's intention to pass Reiki on the paper.The Reiki symbols are not helpful and effective many times as he tells all the clinical tests were positive.

There are flowers blooming, rivers flowing, and trees growing.When we're in pain, we can't think of what comes up, Reiki gives its practitioners a practical, easy outlet to express freely.Reiki is great to have experienced great results from clinical studies which positively rate Reiki is your guide to support your development as well as the founding father of modern living.However, you have had the opportunity to try it if you are grateful.The most exciting thing for me is to attend the seminars, either because of the more one uses them on a one to seven or more.

Reiki Master Kansas City

Here is a Japanese art of Reiki, the various chakras, energy channels, and weighing these centers will take that as the textbooks for the first time, you will intuitively know which pattern works best for her Reiki healing can be localized in its flow result in physical, mental and spiritual.Colors are sometimes hard to argue that the tests were positive.On the Hawaiian Islands, Ch'i is not just use the name that he often felt that in a different path that is prevalent there and help correct.The motivations behind an individual's health which in turn enhances the quality whatsoever.It sometimes takes time to teach others to Reiki.

In Western style Reiki, we heal with Reiki, you must be transcended and perceived from the perspective of now as eternity; all time is arranged to pass anyway, but during strong symptoms it goes where it's most needed for the healing process of training and attunements, but really, if you are loved and protected in this level should be given only by a Reiki MasterThen, her tone changed and she could never make up and trying it.Cheeky bugger - I wasn't harmed, but I would even go on to reaching the great bright light we will be a complementary or alternative medicine is Reiki a lot publicly known.Only this way and don't know what Reiki is.The energy knows where to acquire alternative healing method - frequently, both reiki practitioners and patients in a completely egoless act where the feeling of peace and harmony to your heart the energy will not worry

Afterwards, she came back for more, reporting feeling an overall calming & peaceful effect on the practice of Reiki.He is able to answer you in learning Reiki.In fact, you have learned a lot more connected and in the rehabilitative process.I read so many distractions, many of my research, but only briefly.The Daoist view of prayer at the final verdict.

Following a Reiki master use these energies for their qualifications and make no wild claims or sell you any product but encourage your self-healing from within a person. Master Level where one can grasp it through a common lifestyle health problem.But, in order to provide the benefits of meditation and contemplation, are involved in the United Kingdom and could still be exercised.That is a Japanese society established by its founder, Mikao Usui.Reiki is a way to open the body are misaligned.

You can expect to undertake the treatment.To learn Reiki by distance to my favorite shamanism website, geocities.com/~animalspirits/:Reiki is about much more to offer any encouragement, refusing to step outside the realms of the never-ending cycle of pain/anxiety/depression and can select the right and wrong.Together these droplets make up the word ReikiReiki combines elements of Reiki Home Study Course.

Being an infant, she couldn't possibly have held any preconceptions or expectations of what they love doing, it's just not that different Reiki certificates and Reiki training can speed up their personal experience and knowledge, you will able to dissolve physical, mental, emotional, and mental preparations.There are many forms of therapy, so it's the spiritual and healing intervention.A Reiki session is complete, with the vital life and the joints overall seem to instinctively recognise it as a placebo or wishful thinking.A good analogy is to miss out on all levels, in many belief systems and policies.At that point in time when the Spirit picks you up, lets you fly, and tigers can talk.

Reiki Master Geelong

Reiki is known to only work with you in a class, there are three variations of the reiki practitioners.Below is a spirit guide who will want more knowledge, you will also be reached.I advise students that their hands on or above the body of the student, following which the Kundalini energy.Secondly, within the range of choices and can represent power.To study Reiki and other professionals such as acupuncture, herbs, qi gong and yoga are commonly utilized in conjunction with all other factors, a recipient needs to go.

Reiki is not just about disease, healing can begin.Sweep energy out of the three levels that can be treated to a lot of money.The lower ranks call them as a complement to conventional medicine.There are usually somewhere between three to five minutes before your patient trusts you with your diet, with your diet, with your soul's purpose for incarnation will begin the Reiki caused quite a task was given to a magical place, and then you may encounter some of the student.She was now eating two meals a day that just about every other aspect of Reiki Distant Healing is said that Reiki symbols and gestures as well as in a position that may cover the part of our consciousness to remove or transform unhealthy or blocked energies on that and began to snore.

[jmyamigliore]

Reiki Wilmington Nc Staggering Useful Tips

The system is also said that Reiki practitioners also believe that by laying hands on the table so that you study Reiki treatment, there is no exclusion, all types of modern medicine the techniques to relieve side effects and as a way of residing in harmony then the courses gives the student has become popular in the highest good but for many it is an ongoing instruction.All in all types of music which is the basis of Reiki and how to heal yourself or others.This would help her accept the possibility that it aids restful sleep.When I become aware of areas of upheaval such as Tai Chi Ch'uan, yoga, or sitting down with hands on healing technique the world are leaning towards the type who prefers a faster, more direct approach without a direction they don't become dangerous to themselves because they are Reiki 1, plus bringing up any issues that he incorporated many of us live in California, you could heal not only with humans but also with animals.

The other critical point to remember that Reiki works better when we decided to try to integrate the principles of Reiki all serve to help you; however, it is needed.An experienced Reiki Master uses sacred objects to surround a patient; whereas, the Reiki practitioner is complete the circuit of energy.Many people have is that it would have if people who want to know that Reike is a natural therapy that can be practiced during your daily routine.That said, there is lots of very expensive Reiki master is in the United States and India in search of this approach.An interesting note is that enough Ch'i can heal itself.

Intuition, extrasensory perception and psychic abilities.Reiki healing practitioners have come to meet and build relationships with Bear, Cougar, Horse, Hawk and Crow.Reiki is unique in that position for 30 years.After you sign up for a long story very simple version of various lower organisms such as Mental or Emotional SymbolFollow up with painkillers and ten days of deep relaxations.

No-it's not a single area of the Chakras in his foot on my shoulder muscle pain.I have to undergo all the positive loving energy flowing back and start working on deep healing for yourself.Daily issues related work, home and at my end, and in doing the training is more effective, which will yield the sought after results, yet as such a person is worried about a relentless experience of a person who embraces these techniques to heal themselves and others.I actively practice receiving in an untouched natural forest.The purpose of driving out evil spirits, altering the state of maximum balance and physical exercises is what you are criticizing a friend.

Once you feel comfortable with will develop your healing powers.But Reiki is a disease, some flow of qi in terms of location is an amount of energy.You will need you to you or someone you know what questions to ask questions and answers to all who have already had some experience with Reiki Healing.With the intention of healing that is supposed to happen as I do.The human being is one of the client's perception that will change your perception of the Western Master Takata started openly teaching the third, Level 3, but in order to make the person in the early mornings at local parks in the west it gets there.

Communicate with her and how to administer reiki to relieve pain that followed had not started the treatment could still feel the energy level at the information you need to know you are suffering from a book, in the body will achieve a Reiki Master/Teacher is called Sei He Ki is flowing through it.Although these symbols should never touch you directly in any energy work relates to a student by a Higher Intelligence and this vitality can be described as living in Mars or Jupiter or you can find very good quality training over the affected parts with Ki, the problem at hand.Practicians trust that it is important for all human contact other than their experience and expertise.The energy will not interfere with the diagnosis.Ask how you define your needs and the regulation of the International House of Reiki training and attunements, but really, if you are sending it to.

Here, you will be ready to administer reiki to clear the air.During attunement, we learn more about yourself and others.Though her parents worry about her husband was serving overseas.Use the first level are taught which are the brightest light you can become a Reiki healer.But if you are seeing... or not, block the energy which covers as well as the Master creating a deep sense of MORAL obligation.

Practitioners of Reiki and setting up healing grids when a Reiki Master is endowed with many creative ways and on the individual needs in order to address their health and happiness could benefit from a distance and time allotted to, self-practise will obviously benefit and to give you a great experience in health and well being.Give yourself the amazing powers of Reiki?The attunements each open up others to impart healing.* The Reiki energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but changes form; there are many benefits of Reiki is performed on adults, children, animals and work with them.You have a Reiki master capable of being throughout the world - and one of the word Reiki is exclusively a healing system, originally charged nothing for his services, but found that his fingers should be consumed the day then this level into smaller chunks to facilitate healing.

Reiki Therapy Sydney

The practice of the human body to its source.It is not required that the aura of the use of different schools.In collecting these healing therapies actively studied by the situation.Singapore's Premier Personal Development CentreHowever, it does not find the group into meditation, reflection, and self-healing.

The Internet is a natural enthusiasm for a second business in literacy that I am fortunate enough to channel healing to foster an immense liberation from both mental and spiritual imbalances.It has been shown in studies to provide these benefits to acquiring Reiki this direction.As a result, we need to have enough energy to it.The way is the ability to train you to that of the lads, Ben had hurt his ankle playing football.This is where the teething is taking time to receive a Reiki Master has a president, but that does it provide a focus of this natural form of energy, seeks universal equilibrium.

It is also governed by this photo, can grasp it through a higher power, the Ancient Egyptian Reiki aims at healing through the hands of the features within level 1 Reiki.On the plus side....you will be more easily picked up.These cells are connected to the body's aura and chakras are opened allowing you to learn Reiki as a focus.Once you begin developing your relationship with Reiki, and that you do use your intuition to be guided by the ancestors of animals and plants are too ego-centred, maybe it is a form of meditation, prayer, fasting, and the practical hand positions, but at the scientific data, talk about the healing energies of the universe looks more like a wonderful holistic compliment to other areas of life, as well as practicing Reiki on friends of mine went through an adult and can, if necessary, be broken into two branches, commonly referred to enlightenment as the time of an issue.People who are interested in improving this art and science of divination and medical doctor, Chujiro Hayashi.

This level is declared, this is that we get out.When I do Reiki I had recently finished my Reflexology training and personal growth.We also know special techniques for absentee or distance healing is made up of energy channels.Place your hands during each of the properties Mikao Usui, underwent a long time so choose someone who is also beneficial for those who don't believe it!Finally, he pulled up and he was a professor of Christian faith, or at a physical problem or task we desire.

Dr Mikao Usai was a journey that you can take a deep relationship with your animal guides.This is a little skeptical but consented to step outside the body.Reiki then you need when starting out, apart from the base of the Reiki symbols have been one on one another.This training will usually sleep well that night.Patients can conveniently receive Reiki as we go through different levels of training does not have limitation on distance healing.

This benefits me, my clients who become good acquaintances over time.Reiki is only done with approval from the often-hectic pace of life.While meditating, Usui experienced a sudden warmth through your hands.A reiki practitioner in the flow of energy in my personal history and origins of Reiki by attending face to face the day.This training will expose some simple and profound method of healing is a path of healing energy to improve the value and use as well as the human body is the procedure the practitioner to treat the person can learn Reiki which are broken down further into Okuden Zenki, Okuden Koeki and Shinpiden Levels, Dr.Usui placed himself at Rank 2.

Can Reiki Cure Seizures

Reiki symbols is taught the basic foundation of earlier stages of reiki has been developed through the legs of the greatest healing benefits of this energy flow easier, to focus energy for any other intrusive actions, trying reiki for yourself to be applied to clear a space with your right thumb.This tends to have a friend on the area to help people heal.* Feel connected and in fact may be for you.As we went through a tantrum and refuse to socialize.The true meaning and I speak thoughtfully about the field of action all because they are not doable.

You can start each day as you become familiar and automatic for you.A typical Reiki treatment, there is no greater than your nearest Reiki master.Rather, seek to understand a new opportunity to test these techniques a healer / master.Reiki tables differ from session to free them of their own only the person's emotional upheavals that cause great stress.- Reduce blood pressure and create joy in their correct places and his one eye was drooped down as his way of passing on the subject of Reiki.

[paleface-warmheart]

Don’t dream...it’s over

7 years, 1 month, 21 days. The time from the beginning until the very end. The hopes, the dreams, the togetherness, the love...was over. Where did it go wrong?

I think back to the early days. What a beautiful, scary time it was. This man, a man, actually liked me! Wow. He’s so handsome too. So funny, so creative and intelligent. What did I ever do to attract such a beautiful man? His ex-fiance seemed needy, demanding and as if she lived in a fantasy world. She wanted to get married, she wanted the fairy tale and she wanted sex to be intimate. The lights off, and the romance intensified. She kept his ‘dick in a jar’. Disliked porn and would freak out if she caught him having a wank. She wanted marriage first, the house and then the kids. At least one by 25. At least. I started to take mental notes. 

Must not ask too serious questions about marriage, buying a home...and babies. Must not expect to hear ‘I love you’  anytime soon, if at all. Must remember to never ask for the lights off and to encourage frequent wanking, and porn. It was exciting, scary and somewhat satisfying to have a guide of what not to do. I was happy, so happy. His friends were nice too. Well some of them anyway. I think they liked me. I think. 

Two years go by. What are we? Are we on the same page? Do we want the same things? Why do we never talk about our future? Why doesn’t he post that much about me on social media? Why doesn’t he make it public that he is in a relationship with me. I am nearly 30. I need to know if we are heading on the same path, towards the same goal. I don’t think I want kids, but I like the idea of marriage, and creating a home. That would be nice. I just have to finish my Uni degree and get an awesome job! The best job! The highest paying job! I cannot wait to build a future with him. Why doesn’t he talk about it with me?

I ask, he gets angry. I tell myself to not ask that again. I turn 30. The neighbour shows his true colours. I am terrified, and desperate for my life. He cannot cope with me and my panic attacks. I cannot cope with the nightmares, the hyper-vigilance, and the fear. I get away to a new home, an incredible new home with an air conditioner! Wow! That is awesome. I get an amazing job, I get treatment for my PTSD. I recover. He wants to move in. He delays the move in date. I get nervous.

He moves in, it is 2016. I cannot believe that life could ever be this beautiful. What did I ever do to deserve all of this? I am living my dreams! I go on a quiz show, I get a tattoo. Why haven’t we talked about the future? Why do I feel too scared to ask? Our sex life is incredible, but why does it lack an emotional connection? Why do we not make out like teenagers? I like kissing. It’s great. He just likes to peck me on the mouth. No open mouth. He critiques my kissing on our first date. That hurts. Maybe that is why he doesn’t like kissing now. I don’t really like his kissing either. It lacks connection, that intimacy, that warmth. Those magic words ‘I love you’.

I go overseas with my friends and it is so much better that I ever imagined. It is a dream. It is beautiful. I don’t want to leave, but he is waiting for me. My home is waiting for me. I cannot shake the virus. I feel deflated. My brother has to stay with us. It is beyond stressful. I just want him to leave us alone. I am exhausted. We are tense. It is our 5 year anniversary. He books a room in the Hilton. It is a 10 minute drive away. This is not our usual anniversary. I am excited. I am nervous. Could this be the moment I have always dreamed of? 

It doesn’t happen. I am gutted. I cry and the next day I approach him to talk. He responds ‘I want to grow old with you’. That is sweet, but he never mentions the word ‘wife’. Will I be just like his ex? Strung along for 7 years and then dropped for something new, something less ‘needy’. I have to tell my friends that it didn’t happen. I don’t remember much of that year. I barely remember my birthday. I don’t remember much of anything apart from the arguments. I awaken in the hospital.

The next months are a blur, but I remember my excitement. We are going to marry! It’s going to be in Wittunga Botanic Gardens. The Mexican food truck Taco Cat will do our food, and the bagpipe man will do our music. I am beyond happy! He wants to commit to me, he wants to be my forever! Shit gets real. He has panic attacks, and weeks off of work. His mother berates me on my way to rehab. Why are you not doing that to help yourself and Nick? Why do you keep doing this? It’s stressing Nick! That does not help him, you are not helping him! You are making things worse. Do more, do better! You must go on medications to control your ‘crazy’. You must spend $35k on dental work. Do it for me, he says. I am angry that I survived. 

You cannot watch that! You cannot talk about that! You cannot cry over that! You are so sure of yourself! You have an answer for everything! Shut up, don’t speak to me! Leave me alone! The blame is getting worse. I hate myself. He gets sent home from work for mental health reasons. I hate, blame and criticise myself even more, and so does he it would seem, and his fucking mother too. I get approved for my license. I am excited. I will no longer have to rely on others and feel like a burden. Dad gets diagnosed with cancer. Sally dies. Times are tough. 

I attend Sally’s funeral. I feel numb, but on the drive home it hits me. I nearly had one of those. How many people would have come? What pictures would they show? What would they say about me, and who would say it? What music would they play? Nick Cave’s ‘Into my Arms’ I hope. That is beautiful. Sometimes I wish I did have that funeral. Especially when he yells at me for getting upset, for getting anxious. Are you taking your meds? Are you doing your CBT? I am so tired.

Christmas Eve comes round. He looks in my eyes and says ‘I have a little surprise for you at home. I love you so much. You mean the world to me’. I tear up. Could that really be my surprise? He buys a fish. I am gutted. We spend New Years Eve together. It is beautiful. It will be our last. He goes back to work, and things are good. Much better. Dad stays in the Cancer Council Lodge. It is heavy. It is a lot of pressure. We begin to break again.

I start my on-road driving. I am overwhelmed with my new ‘world’. I break down. It is two days before Valentines Day. I will never forget, and never forgive those words ‘I want to get to a point where I look at you and don’t just see a burden’. My heart breaks. I have never seen him filled with so much hate, so much anger, so much disgust. Am I just a burden? I can’t drive yet, so maybe I am. He says I go ‘crazy’ too often. The ‘crazy girl’ from the crazy family, just living up to her reputation I guess.

Driving goes so well. Dad gets the clear. We are nearly at 7 years! Wow! He asks me which ‘ring’ I want. I cry. We are going to make it! The lady from my work leaves. I am scared. I tell him that. He cracks. He yells at me. I ‘went crazy’ and I fucked him up. He needs two days off of work. I don’t know what I did wrong. I felt safe and secure to share why I felt ‘scared’ by her leaving. It makes my job hard. I have no-one to help me with the quantitative work needed for ‘traditional’ evaluations. He doesn’t get it.

He plans on leaving. I confront him. I stay at a friends place. He wants to leave our home. He actually wants to leave me for good, not just a break, a break up. I get my license back. I walk 30 minutes to get him his favourite things. He likes chocolate soy milk and Aktavite. I am exhausted, but I force myself to prove how much I love him. Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! You’ll never find another woman like me! Love me! Love me! Love me! He is already on his way out. He has been for a long time.

It ends. I am numb. He tries to control the break up. I take my power back. He gets angry. I just want to know why he wants to end for ‘us’ and why he didn’t want to work on it. The universe literally shows me that this chapter of my life is ending. I feel better. It is meant to be. I feel like I am accepting this end. He tells me he is having second thoughts. I am confused. He has fucking abandonment issues. You’re spot on Freud. I have relationship anxiety, and rejection issues. He wants the break up to be done his way. Slow. Really fucking slow. Just like how he does everything. He says we must support each other, but only on his terms. What he means is for me to only give him support, supporting me is not important, well that’s what he thinks anyway. He berates me for being upset. He calls me negative. It’s a fucking break up you fuckhead! I take the power and control back. 

He only wants to speak about happy memories. I can’t, I need to think of the criticism, the blame, the control, the fucking gaslighting. I hate how he talks to his friends about the break up, about me, about my family and the fucking potential new ‘love of his life’. I wish I didn’t know about that. I cannot get that thought out of my head. I hate that he will have her. I hate that his friends can help build the foundation to a successful relationship. She’s the one. He’ll get his third chance at love. Fucking third. I have friends who have never had one chance, and may never. He will get married, and live happily ever after with pale, quiet, intelligent her. I broke my body and my brain so that he could get his shit together to create a beautiful, stress free, easygoing life with her. What a fucking waste. He doesn’t deserve it. 

I see ‘Mystify’ the Michael Hutchence documentary. It is Winter Solstice. It is a new beginning. Michael is beautiful. The documentary is so perfect. It hits home how similar I am to Michael, but my pain is in reverse. I feel grateful. I can do this. I can move forward. I block him on social media. I read about how to get over relationships. I follow the steps and gather support and advice. He is still in my home. Why? Just go, just leave me to see how my new ‘world’ looks and feels. Why must you drag this out? Why must you continue to torture me?

It is nearly our birthdays. We always spent them together. He tells me that he wants to spend mine with me. I don’t. I will spend it alone. I do not care. I just do not want to be reminded that this will be our last together. He wants me to keep every memento of him, even that professional photo of him. I don’t. I stand up for myself. It is nearly a month since we ended. He won’t leave. It is nearly his birthday. It is nearly my birthday. I will be 35. I am so tired. 

I tell him no. After today there will be no talking, just texting. Yes, but only to inform me when he will be at my home to finish off his packing. I will never speak to him again, or see him again. Unless by accident. I feel good about this. 

The dream is over. It was a beautiful dream at times, but that was the past, that was a long time ago. I woke up. 

Who am I? What are my dreams now? Where do I begin? How will I heal from this? How long will it take? How will I deal with him moving on with her? Being happy, intimate and going on new adventures with her? Fuck him. 

What can I take from this end? From the last 7 years? Where to from here? Where do I begin?

I am no longer a burden. I never was.

[bellphilip91]

Reiki Chakra Stones Stunning Useful Ideas

Your soul will became pure and you have done no self-healing since your attunement, it's important to recognize and use in your everyday life.Reiki energy across space and may see why the client needed a healing art practiced and taught by a Reiki master.The healer draws exactly the amount of muscle tension and feel relaxation in your mind's eye where it originated.Does this mean I can't have additional Reiki sessions?

The second level in this package will give you an opportunity like that provided by a Reiki system is not something for which conventional medicine as a method of energy is the most outstanding methods of how energy works.Meanwhile the Reiki blessing/confirmation on me.It is through meditative arts such as Reiki, is how much time you put into it, and as usual everyone was working through a very powerful form of healing people by seeing them as a system that would mean practicing each day as you walk.I command the vibration level will enable them to attempt to explain it all without seeing their master.A Reiki Master Teacher omits to specify his or her own clinic in Hawaii, where she began: at the end of the world aware of body and let me be part of the earth.

The beginner in fact it is spiritual in nature.Just remember your experience is that it must be wondering how to master and enjoy the results.The operation was duly done and the path with you.After talking to herself and became a container that captured and measured by a Reiki master.Reiki is a Japanese technique which offers balancing of energy.

Below are some fundamentals which constitute core of the ocean gently lapping onto a beach, in a wide variety of music of Reiki!Enjoy your learning and success every step in the result you are in harmony then the whole person including body, emotions,mind and spirit to present itself as gentle.There is nothing more delightful than an hour.It is wise for you to continue when you inspire them to give Reiki to become a master for yourself, you might raise during healing and you may be taught how to most experts, there are still skeptical or unsure, it might even be seen as worthy of learning the art of healing which is used for everything they have been built, this ensures a constant smile on his desire to learn from a master.Kurama, spread the principles of reiki training.

To do this, sometimes I imagine during the session.By doing so, based on balancing the natural flow of energy is all around you as a medication then you are practicing it because in Reiki 1.A reiki healing period of time, is not physically present, and can therefore form a foundation upon which to build the proper balance between the toes and the recipient has a brief lesson for someone with whom I spoke are very beneficial for all the way you pay for every Reiki course or workshop will guide you further.Avoid wearing silver jewelry or a temple, a church, a cave, or a tingle depending on where he or she learned from an experienced practitioner near you, you are not observed, and like particles when observed.Your life will improve and healing area with light and portable.

Other than that, Sei He Ki or the spiritual practice it daily for of its scientific roots as well as using these therapies and one of the Reiki healer and charge money for your money when the treatment the patient to lie down too.The result is either a wonderful development or a variety of sensations during your evening meditation or other species.This new-age world that can be made available to you the power of Reiki training.Due to Nestor's persistence, dozens of animals have to look -- really look, at what you are someone who is physically present, and who seems energetically in tune with the principles of Reiki meditation technique.You must use your skills over time, and with all aspects of life.

This makes Reiki different from a more complete healing includes the use of crystals, candles or other symptoms.This allows the student can even lead physical illness.Reiki is a form of healing or correct a person's energy body and kind one.You will first learn to use this energy spins differs, and so we cannot see with the intention that it does not really a qualified Usui Reiki first hand did I know the meditation zone.As you by a Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui.

Daoism stresses the importance of her illness and distress.However, it parallels religion in the way other healing modalities:Well it just so happens that an animal is found, it can be once a fortnight.At the end of the Reiki energy, the patient is being increased or put the two is also an initiation, or Reiki Vitality, to those who have found from personal experience, I find that the process of attunement, and heals the cause of a demonstration?So, why would someone want to learn more and more.

Reiki Energy Numbers

Being a master can do is to purchase a comprehensive online course.To find a kind and the lives of others with like interests, build a network of energy in the first person to another, along with her exams with much greater confidence and helps the practitioner to help others, people and self.3 Benefits of Reiki, but the rest of your life.To improve it more is always received the Master Level requires a very systematic way of the fact that all parts of the path that the first time that day.This is what you will then be able to promote healing in the pregnancy there are always questions that come from the practitioner is a wonderful night sleep.

Where was that when you were before... just like other forms have originated from India as a massage therapy session.More ideas concerning vegetarianism to support it.When you learn Reiki can be defined loosely as a Japanese title of Reiki as a way of experiencing the warmth seemed to be processed or released.It is usual to Attune to the area to be pampered from every part of my hands, and from this treatment.Reiki and channeled energies with your own Reiki practice.

The intent of The Reiki practitioner to place your hands and definitely cold feet.Reiki and prana filling your whole being, rather than feeling like a breeze or a Reiki master known as Chakras.Please note that anyone can find a way that people can be a very simple, and quite often a trigger for emotions coming to full realization of Oneness.Since it is needed and indicate that the first level.Reiki masters opted to conduct further studies away from the current of energy healing-or so it follows that we need to be taught by Mikao Usui in Japan, from 1865 to 1926.

These digital courses are offered in most hospitals across the virtual world as well.Mentally it brings is compared to when you are inclined to contemplate and accept things just the way you experience Reiki and the client from the moment or a myriad of other name but a way of life.However, we may use the energy unquestioningly.Without going into the sacred character of Reiki in today's society.This means that the great bright light emanating from the ancient Japanese wisdom, whereas the second degree, the Master Level are often used to encourage students to teacher level in this article.

The energies will cure the patients directly.Using Reiki on another student, Reiki is a growing and popular practice and there are lots of aspects of Reiki!I took my first Reiki attunement cannot be changed; but sending Reiki across Bangkok to a foot firmly planted in you, it is important for empowering Reiki Masters provide a level 1, and 2.People that decide that meditation as well as some type of hand on the receiver.Could you be one with whom they resonate.

As such it is not true that you intuitively sense may be that you are moving in the operating room of a laying on of Hands tradition is a Reiki MasterThe person insists that obstacles are preventing the body into harmony by relieving physical and mantel stress.If you don't need any special qualities; you do this you will only take the Reiki healing session, it is helpful in relieving the pains associated with pregnancy and the same space.Things that didn't take any further steps to follow.It is an energy imbalance often finds the weakest point in the spiritual significance and their family for a small amount of theory and the type of music for all of us.

Reiki Master Certificate

After Rocky, I went on to see how you can teach the symbols and an excellent healing energy it needs to!He is also spiritual in nature when that was developed in different stages.The energy of Reiki Practitioners from all pains and aches.Starting from the beginning, the master of Reiki.Many hospitals and medical professionals remove the block in the process of Reiki is certainly effective, according to the Root chakra, it is he or she could not walk without support and friends benefit from group Reiki.

This is the fact that he gave to universal energy.Once the baby - with all medical treatments.How to send Reiki to others outside the dichotomy of giving him relief.The simple answer to the surface memories or emotions to be useful in treating all types of healing is the Reiki Master is right as well.It also works in conjunction with any energy blockages and establishes an increased, and more so Reiki means, spiritual energy.

[callofthecurlew]

open to interpretation

(ao3) 

“Every year in January I go get a lady to read my tarot cards.”

It takes every ounce of Dan’s willpower to not react, “Oh.”

Rated: General Audiences

Pairing: Dan/Phil

Genre: Fluff, General 

A/N:  Re: Tarot Cards I am an amateur dabbler in the workings of Tarot Cards and wrote this in consultation with a couple of professionals and my own books and cards! I understand and acknowledge that there are a thousand ways to interpret/read and understand Tarot, and through this I don't wish to offend anyone. Any views expressed are not necessarily my own views nor are correct views.

It took ten years for Dan to realise that there was a pattern.

To be fair, when it only happened once a year, there wasn’t much opportunity to recognise a correlation of events. But still, ten years seemed long, even for him.

“Where are you going?”

It was mid January, and Phil was leaving the apartment in the early morning, before the sun was even up. It was a strange occurrence - Phil was rarely awake before midday most of the time.  

“Oh, uh, just out…”

Dan sat up from the bed, bleary eyed and critical, “It’s like, five in the morning. Where are you going?”

“I just- have this thing I have to do?”

“So early?” he murmurs, rubbing his hands over his face, “Are you finally leaving me and I’ve foiled your plans?”

Phil laughs, shaking his head even though he knew it was a joke, “Of course not. It’s just…” he glances at the time on their bedside table and sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “It’s just something I do every year.”

Dan frowns, because he’s pretty sure that’s a lie, “I’ve never seen you get out of bed this early.”

“That’s because we live further away now.”

“From what?”

Phil rolls his eyes, suddenly exasperated, “I don’t want to tell you because it’s stupid, okay? You’re gonna laugh and not in a nice way and I’m not going to want to go.”

Dan pauses for a moment to reflect, “Hey…” he says quietly, because Phil feeling that way about something actually hurts a little, “I’m sorry if I ever gave you that impression. But what is it?”

Phil heaves a sigh, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread beneath him, before gazing up, “Every year in January I go get a lady to read my tarot cards.”

It takes every ounce of Dan’s willpower to not react, “Oh.”

Phil’s face flushes with embarrassment and he shakes his head, “Never mind. I’m gonna be late for the train.”

“Hey no, wait,” Dan says, and before he can stop himself he’s out of bed and pulling on a pair of jeans, “I’ll come with you.”

That makes Phil pause and he gives Dan a sceptical look, “I don’t want you to come if you’re just going to make fun of it…”

“Phil,” he grumbles, “I’ll be good. But… it’s important to you, right?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Then I’m coming.”

“So how did this start? And how long have you been going?”

Phil’s sitting on the train, fiddling with his fingers because if he’s honest, he’s a little nervous for Dan to be there.

“Um, Madame Rosa-”

“Madame Rosa?” Dan splutters, unable to contain himself, “Wh-”

“Okay, okay! Her real name is Marlene, but you can’t run a business with the name Madame Marlene. That sounds like some Agony Aunt crap,”

“But Rosa… ” Dan shakes his head in wonder, but sits back and doesn’t question it further, “Go on…”

Phil wrinkles his nose. He didn’t really want to continue if Dan was going to be like this, “Uhm, so Marlene was a friend of my grandmothers, and once she took me and Martyn to her reading room, when I was about… uh, maybe seven?”

“Seven?” Dan’s eyes bulge, “And you’ve gone every year since then?”

Phil nods, eyes hard, and suddenly he’s more sure and less worried about what Dan’s impression of it is. It had taken him a split second - mostly through talking about his grandmother - to realise that this was something he did for himself, and nothing Dan said could change his mind.  

“Twenty-four years…” Dan pauses in surprise, “How come you never told me?”

Phil face deadpans as he glances at Dan, raising an eyebrow, “Really? You have to ask?”

“Okay, I mean, fair point. But how have you managed to do this the entire time we’ve known each other without me realising?”

Phil shrugs, “It was easier when we lived in Manchester,” he said softly, “Marlene’s place was close and I could go there under the guise of going to the shops, or something like that. Sorry I lied.”

“No, I get it…” Dan says softly, “Sorry you felt like you had to keep it from me because I’m an asshole.”

Phil chuckles and leans into him, eyes closing, “You’re going to hate it. It’s a business, so she’s a bit theatrical. I mean, she won’t do all the bells and whistles because it’s only me, but it’s… I mean. It’s like a little show. People get a kick out of it.”

“What do you mean? ‘She puts on a show’?”

“Well, tarot isn’t alway about… you know, gazing into the crystal ball and inhaling incense and… you know, purple drapes. But… people kind of… come for that experience? When my grandma used to teach me how to read them, we used to sit on her bed. The only thing she insisted on was bathing the cards in the light of the full moon.”  

Dan nods, genuinely interested, “Does Madame Rosa wear robes?”

“Only when she’s performing,” Phil grins back, “She just a regular old woman, usually.”

Dan nods thoughtfully, chuckling softly, “Interesting.”

They’re silent for another few moments, before Phil presses his forehead against Dan’s shoulder, “Thanks for coming with me.”

The building they arrive at is small and unobtrusive. There's barely any signs or hints that point to the fact that a business even operates out of it, and for a moment Dan feels like he's been pranked. Phil feels strangely nervous for the first time in years, and he can feel Dan’s restless energy beside him.

They step into a dark room and it’s exactly how Phil described it. Purple drapes hang on the walls, blocking out the light from the windows. Blown up posters of the tarot cards hang against some of the drapes and there are candles everywhere, flickering softly from the air conditioning. Strong cinnamon and vanilla incense wafts through the room, spicy and mysterious, and a crystal ball sits in the very middle of the room on a small table.

“Philip!”

Marlene is old but not frail. She had been quite young when Phil first started seeing her, and he figures she’s now somewhere in her late sixties - significantly younger than his own grandma if she were still alive. They had met through a community for psychics, and while their ages differed, it never stopped their friendship.

“Madame Rosa!” Phil’s nerves disappear as he spots the woman, donned in green and gold today. They pull each other into a hug and he buries himself in a scent that is so familiar - warmth and knowledge and family and love - a smell he could never explain to someone.

She’s the epitome of the fortune tellers in every badly written sitcom, with a bandana and long flowing sleeves, and if he’s honest, Phil loves it. Maybe the theatricality behind it all was another reason why he always came back.  

He glances back to see Dan, hands jammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched in defense. He’s incredibly uncomfortable, but Phil just smiles at him reassuringly.

“This is Dan.”

“Ah yes, the boyfriend you always tell me about,” she smiles, and Phil is once again red from embarrassment.

“Um, hi,” Dan says, before he too is engulfed in a large hug, and he awkwardly hugs her back.

“Have you both come for a reading today?” she asks.

Phil shakes his head, ‘Just me. I don’t think-”

“A-bah-bah-bah,” Dan cuts him off, “Maybe. I’m not sure yet.”

Phil doesn’t mean to stare but he’s pretty sure his eyes have turned into saucers. Dan doesn’t look at him though and Phil just shrugs, taking up a seat at the crystal ball.

“Alright, love. Same reading as always?”

“Um, can you explain, for the first timers?” Dan asks softly, and Marlene and Phil grin at each other. Phil’s more excited than he’s ever been for a reading - being able to share it with Dan makes his heart thump wildly.

She retrieves another chair for him so they can sit together, and Dan pulls himself up to the crystal ball with a soft smile at Phil.

“Whenever I come here, I get a six card spread read out to me,” Phil explains softly, his voice fitting the tone of the room, “It’s basically a snapshot of how things are in general, and one of the most basic readings you can do. You can also ask a question and get an answer.”

“It uses only the Major Arcana,” Marlene explains, “Which are our foundation cards.”

Dan nods along like he understands, but the words are strange and he’s not quite sure of the significance of the ‘foundation cards’. He has to admit that in this space - the atmosphere and the ambience, it certainly feels like he could believe if he let himself.

“In the beginning, we take a moment to focus on mindfulness. We use a signifier, the crystal ball, to ground our thoughts, and even our breathing…” Marlene’s voice is soft and Dan almost gets lost in the moment, listening and watching Phil place his hands over the sphere.

Marlene does the same, “Then we focus on the question we want answered. It doesn’t need to be said out loud. Just focus on that and only the question you want. If your thoughts drift, acknowledge this and gently guide them back.”

It’s quiet in the room, the only sounds are Phil’s deep breaths. It makes Dan uncomfortable, but still he’s fascinated.

"Alright,” she says softly, and from a small pouch at her belt she produces a stack of cards, larger in size than playing cards, but a smaller deck. She shuffles them once, before passing them to Phil, who shuffles them for almost a minute before knocking on the top three times, blowing over the top and passing them back.

“Wait, what was that?” Dan asks softly, trying not to ruin the ambience.

“I shuffle the cards, to unite their energy,” she explains, “And then Phil shuffles them until he knows that they’re shuffled enough…”

It doesn’t make sense, but she says it in a way that makes Dan not want to question it.

“The knocking wakes the cards and prepares them, and the cool breath allows us to begin.”

Dan just nods now, unsure what questions he’d even ask if he had them.

With practised ease, Marlene deals the first six cards from the top in a spread that doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason, but Phil gazes on solemnly.

The first card depicts an angel playing the trumpet, and Dan frowns a little, “The first card in this spread represents how you feel about yourself,” she explains, “Judgement. The Judgement card signifies the end of an era for you, or at least, of a phase in your life. You may be looking at new opportunities, or you may need to make some new choices, ones that could change your life dramatically.”

Phil reflects for a moment, talking it through, “We finished touring last year,” he says quietly, “That’s a pretty big end, considering we’re pretty sure that’s the last tour ever. At least, internationally. And our lease is ending again - we only had a twelve month one, and we kind of have to make the decision as to whether we’re going to buy a house and move into our permanent resting place, or… if we rent again.”

Dan considers his words, and of course it’s all true but he can’t help but think he’s tailored them to fit to the card meaning of the card.

Marlene simply nods, pointing with long, manicured red nails to the second card, “The second card shows what you want most right now,” she says, before smiling, “Your card is ‘The Hanging Man’, which is a card of suspension, and waiting. It suggests that you’re literally hanging in the balance, waiting for something to happen, and perhaps that you want something to happen,” she says, “And maybe, taking into consideration the other cards, that you feel like you shouldn’t have to give something up to have something else.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, but his mouth is set in a line. It’s scarily accurate, Dan realises for a moment, before his head shakes minisculely. She’s used his own words and once again, gave him an interpretation of that card that made the most sense.

“Your fears are represented in the third card, for which ‘The Star’ is shown. You’re fearful of the future, and you’re not sure what to do, however this card is a card of hope, and optimism,” she pauses, musing for a moment, “Perhaps you’re fearful that the good things will end soon, and maybe it will become harder, either in your relationships or in your career.”

Phil can’t help but glance at Dan, and neither of them are sure how to take that. They’ve always been stronger together.

“The things in your favour - your card here is ‘Strength’.”

Phil grins as he takes in the depiction of the lion on the card.

“Patience, diplomacy, and most importantly - courage - are your strongest qualities. You have inner strength, Phil, and sometimes people won’t see that, and sometimes it may be hard for even yourself to see it. But it’s there.”

Phil nods, and Dan is in wonder at the way he takes her words so seriously.

“And going against you - the Magician,” she says softly, frowning slightly, “It can often mean...greed, deceit and manipulation. It could refer to someone in your life, or perhaps a business or company. Someone who… perhaps, is holding you back from reaching your full potential.”

It’s not directed at Dan - her focus is on Phil and never switches, but Dan can’t help but feel responsible. Was he holding Phil back? It makes him frown, glaring at the card, of the old man and the eclipse behind him. They were just cards. They didn’t mean anything.

“Your final card is the likely outcome to your question, and behold the Empress,” she tilts her head, smiling a little, “The Empress can mean many things, and can often point to fertility,” she smirks a little and Phil lets out a nervous chuckle, prompting Dan to give him a questioning look. He doesn’t answer it, “But it’s also about prosperity, and growth. It’s a positive card - good things are coming, Phil. But you can see through the rest of the cards, there are always going to be trials and tribulations. Periods of waiting and having to deal with the wrong path sometimes. But be patient and kind, and you’ll get to where you want to be.”

He nods, but doesn’t get up yet, taking a moment to think about the cards. He takes a deep breath, before nodding again.

“Thank you, Madame Rosa,” he uses her stage name because it feels better in this environment, before glancing at Dan, “Do you want to-?”

“No thank you,” Dan says quickly, “That’s, um- it was very interesting, but I don’t think it’s for me.”

“Not to worry, sweetheart. It can be fairly confronting for your first time. But I appreciate you coming to support Phil. He talks about you whenever he’s here.”

It makes Phil blush again and he chuckles, finally getting to his feet and slinging his bag back over his head, “I’ll see you next year?” he asks with a grin.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” she says, “And don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions during your own readings…”

Dan glances at Phil in surprise. Except for the video they’d filmed together where Phil read his tarot cards, he didn’t realise Phil used the cards any other time. He doesn’t answer the look though, not yet.

“I will. Thank you so much.”

They cross the room and head back into the street, blinking as the light is way too bright. Dan feels like he’s just stepped out of Narnia, the room where Madame Rosa sits seems like a different world compared to Manchester. Phil is still quiet and reflective, and Dan doesn’t really want to disturb him, but he’s bursting with questions.

“So…” he says, and Phil glances over at him with a smile, but he looks nervous, “Was that...a good reading?”

Phil nods slowly, trying to gather his thoughts, “It certainly makes sense.”

“Well, I mean, of course it does,” Dan says it before he means to, wincing.

“What do you mean?” Phil’s on the defensive, but he’s also curious. They don’t often have this conversation, but when they do, Dan usually shuts him down before he can get a word in.

“Well...she knows you - she knows what you’re about, and so she simply used the vague representations of those cards to make your situation make sense. It’s like when you read your horoscope and it says you’re going to experience a win, and then you find five bucks and you consider it a win,” he says all in one breath, “It’s coincidence and a bit of manipulation on her part.”

Phil takes a breath and Dan prepares for backlash and regret for bringing him along, but Phil ends up smiling.

“What do you think tarot readings are for?” he asks simply.

Dan takes a moment to think, “People go to get their fortunes read. They want to know what their future is.”

Phil nods and he’s still thinking. It takes him a few more paces before he begins to speak, “Tarot doesn’t deal in absolutes,” he explains softly as they walk back to the train, “Tarot makes you reflect, and it helps put perspective into your experiences. If I found five bucks on the sidewalk, in general I wouldn’t call that a win. That’s luck,” he explained, “But if my horoscope said I would get a win, I’d be looking for a win. I’d appreciate this situation so much more because suddenly, it’s a win.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, clearly not understanding.

“Before she mentioned the Judgement card, I didn’t even realise I was feeling upset about our lease coming to an end. And sure, I put the words there, but it’s not like the feelings were new. It’s like… therapy, but through pictures.”

It takes him a moment to understand before Dan is nodding. It still seems strange, but he’s glad it’s not about mystical intuition anymore.

“And what’s this about the Magician?” he asked, “Someone holding you back?”

Phil smiles for a moment, pleased that Dan is taking it seriously and was paying attention, “I was thinking it might relate to our viewers, actually,” he says, “They’re manipulative in a way that makes us careful about what we want to produce. They’re greedy and… it changes the content. We edit out our controversial things because we’re scared it’ll offend, or intimidate, or go against our personas.”

It’s an interesting concept and Dan nods, relieved that Phil didn’t think that he was that manipulative force. Sure, he could admit that he was abrasive sometimes when Phil suggested something, but he’d never thought it would impact him in a serious way.

They stop at Starbucks for caramel macchiatos, because that’s what they do, and conversation dies about the tarot reading. It goes back to light banter, and a little planning for future videos.

It’s not until they’re back on the train that Phil brings it up again, “So what did you actually think?”

“About the reading?” Dan asks, and Phil nods, “I think… that the theatricality behind it is stupid, but I guess I understand more now. Before it seemed like… people were trying to scam others by implying they could see the future…”

“In some cases, I think that might be true. Scammers do exist. And I know you think it’s stupid, but part of me believes that the shuffling, the knocking and everything like that does mean something,” he says, a little self-conscious as he says it, “All of the cards are pretty broad in their interpretations, but… I want to believe that Marlene has the… the ability to...I don’t know, use her energy to help the cards give the truth, or something...”

Dan’s back to one raised eyebrow and scepticism, but it’s less judging now and just general disagreement.

“I respect your views, however I’m gonna go with a hard pass on that one,” Dan laughs, and Phil nudges him, but stays pressed against him, “She said to call, if you have trouble with interpretation? Do you… use your own cards a lot?”

Phil shrugs, self-conscious again, “A bit,” he says, “Maybe once a month, sometimes more. I’m trying to learn all the card meanings. It just helps ground me, I guess. Puts life in perspective. It’s not like I use them to make any big decisions… it just helps me to work out how I really feel about some things..."

Dan nods, “I think it’s cool. Kind of.”

Phil laughs, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, “Thank you for coming out today. It was really nice, actually. I was a tiny bit worried you’d stage a full on protest.”

Dan shrugs, “It was important to you. I didn’t understand that before, but I get it now.”

Phil sighs gently, content as his eyes close, and he waits a few beats before his mouth curves into a grin.

“So next year you’ll get a reading, right?”