#happy christmas eve to all who celebrate and a day of rest and good spirits to all who dont!!

[clemnoir]

NATHALIE GET OUT OF MY ROOM I’M BUSY!!!

[heartfullofleeches]

Hi! Can I request Trick? They are my fave out of the bunch! Also happy holidays if you celebrate it I really love your work it really makes my day whenever you post thank you!! ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎⊹

Event Masterpost: X

"And our winner is...."

"Trick?"

The overgrown corvid looks around the room like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar; too preoccupied with their smaller winnings to grasp the weight of their higher winnings. Your awaiting smile amongst the blistering stares wakes them to the reaction of the situation. Their hardened stare melts into disbelief as it crashes into them like a truck.

"I've... won? My hopes were high, but... I actually won."

Trick swoops across the floor, leaving black feathers and hesitation at the step as they climb on stage. They're on you before either party at your side has time to react; sucking you into the comforting void of their heavy coat and soft wings.

"What a truly giving present I've received this year. Oh, my dear treasure, we'll have the best time just you and me. We must return home at once."

The representative taps on their shoulder. "Ah, before that we should go over the rules of our contest." He flips through a few index cards, beads of sweat rolling from under his mask as Trick's glare weights heavy on him. He tosses the cards aside as their wings puff up.

"Know what? There are none. Just please bring them back by the first.. if you're willing. Have a good time you two?"

He hurries off stage as Trick offers you their hand. "Come now, Dearest. Let's get you home."

-

Trick leads you past the other guests to the rooftop. None interfere due to their menacing aura and the aid of a certain wolf and cow who accepts their losses for now. You're guided to the end of the building where Trick kneels with their arms extending to carry you.

"I apologize if this is too... intimate for our first eve together, but this is my normal means of transportation. I pray you do not mind."

"Not at all." You grip their shoulder, lifted up and into the crook of their arm as they extend their wings. Their talons smooth against your clothing and clasp around your thigh. They marvel at the faint softness of your skin through your attire, but reframe from touching due to the length of their claws and the desperate need to get you home.

"Are you ready, Beloved?" With your nod of approval, they head off into the night. Their hearts soars to the height you soon reach at the little squeeze around their neck as you hold onto them for dear life. Though they hold you with as much careful as a glass ornament, dropping you is the last thing Trick would do. One you've grown more comfortable, they point out the Christmas displays you pass by; commenting on a few of the things they had prepared for your hopeful arrival.

"The lights are beautiful, but there's no shine that brightens my spirits more than the glimmer in your eyes." They'd offhandedly mutter; resting their head atop yours.

-

You arrive at the doorstep of a peculiar home in the upscale, yet lesser populated side of the city right as the cold finally hits. The building was much taller than the cafe and had a tower fitted at its side. Somewhere during your flight they mentioned it once was an old watchtower. Feeling your shivering, Trick hurries to get you inside, but stops key middle way in the lock as they remember a key detail in regards to their dwelling. They take off their coat and throw it around you with apologetic eyes.

"Sorry, but I'll need you to wait out here for just a moment. I'll be back soon." They place a chaste kiss to your forehead and head inside. You can hear the sound of moving furniture and a faint curse as their winged knock picture frames off the walls. After about ten minutes, the door reopens and they usher you inside.

"Welcome to my humble home. I realize we probably should have retrieved some things from yours, but with my last haul, I should have enough clothing to last you the remainder of winter."

You step inside their home. A large Christmas tree sits in the center of the living room; fireplace freshly lit and easily combating the cold glued to you. Presents sit under the tree with your name on them, but as you inspect the handmade ornaments attached to it you notice adifferent name drawn in each corner. Trick joins you and attaches the snowflake you made for the cafe near the top of the tree as you look on puzzled.

"Who are all these people?'

"Hm? Oh, those were made by some of the children I've fostered throughout the year. Without a mate, I've grown increasingly lonely as the years pass, and thought homing them would be a way to fill the void. It helps, but not completely.. We'll worry about that later. Sit, please"

Trick takes you over to the couch. You ignore the jacket tucked beneath one of the cushions that bares a striking resemblance to one you lost and sit beside them. There's a moment of silence between you. It draws mostly from the disbelief the crow still faces. That little treasure that helped them one fateful day - all theirs for the time being and possibly long after if they played their cards right. With your presence in their abode comes the impulse to mark you permanently, but for now they'd give you the same care you had them.

Trick hooks a finger over the bow still strung around your waist, tearing it from you in one drag. They collect the ribbon and wrap it around their knuckles, tracing the fabric against their lips. Of all the items in their collection, they could tell this would be one kept right on the other pillow in their bed. They frame your face in the palm of their large hand.

"Happy holidays, Y/n."

[tss-whumper]

christmas when you're alone - i

some lovely roman christmas angst for the soul.

merry christmas eve to all who celebrate! this story is for those who love a bit of sadness during the holidays. or in this case...a LOT of sadness.

2.3k words (i plan on coming out with a part two soon that's based on a request! all you rosleep fans out there will be a big fan of it, wink wink!)

(cws -> emotional/psychological abuse, guilt-tripping, toxic parental figures. also, patton and janus are the main "whumpers" so to speak while logan, remus, and virgil are more like bystanders. this is just a very sad day for roman.)

Christmas was one of Roman's favorite holidays. Everything about it to him was nothing short of spectacular--the lights, the beautiful music, and most of all, the Christmas spirit. The giving and the wishing and the believing. Roman really, really liked the believing. After all, what was Christmas without the magic?

This year, Roman was determined to create the best Christmas yet. After a turbulent year with a lot of hurt feelings, Roman figured that a fantastic Christmas would be the best way to make everything perfect again. So he worked tirelessly on decorating the house, making sure there were elements to the decorations that everybody enjoyed. Sentimental ornaments for Patton, tasteful silver string lights for Logan, golden candlesticks for Janus, a gingerbread graveyard for Virgil, and a creepy-looking inflatable Santa for Remus. While none of it was particularly Roman's taste, it did look cool when it was all put together, like a kaleidoscope of Christmas spirit, aesthetics bumping into each other and mixing together. And besides, it didn't matter if Roman liked it. Christmas was about giving, after all! And Roman would do anything to make the others happy with him.

When the house was finished, Roman started on creating and wrapping his gifts. Being Creativity, he had the entire universe at the tips of his fingers. He could give anybody anything he wanted, as long as it fit in the mindscape. So he tried very hard to give everybody gifts that would be meaningful and sweet, and he wrapped them with gentle care. Roman wasn't particularly good at being gentle or careful, but it didn't matter what Roman was good at. All that mattered was his friends' reactions to his beautiful and thoughtful presents. He desperately wanted to see them happy, but he was also worried about what might happen if they weren't happy.

Thinking about that made Roman's stomach twist, so he distracted himself by blasting "All I Want For Christmas Is You" while taking a shower with hot-chocolate-scented sugar scrub.

---

The month zoomed by faster than anybody had anticipated, and before he knew it, Roman was waking up on Christmas morning. And everything felt perfect. He could smell cinnamon rolls being baked in the kitchen, and the cheerful chatter of his friends. Being a heavy sleeper, Roman was used to being the last one awake, so he was quick to get himself ready so the rest of the group wouldn't have to wait on him for much longer.

After putting on a red sweater, brown pants, brown socks, and a reindeer headband, Roman felt ready to go. He smiled a few times in the mirror, just to make sure that he looked perfect. Then, he walked out, joining all the noise and bustle that his friends were making seamlessly.

The cinnamon rolls were warm, the conversation was silly, and everyone seemed to be getting along. Roman just sank in his chair, taking in all the celebratory atmosphere as if it was more valuable than oxygen. Everything was going so well. It felt too good to be true.

Probably because it was.

"Roman, what took you so long?" Janus asked, "Was getting your hair and makeup perfect more important than having breakfast with us?"

His question was carelessly flung into the air with a teasing attitude. The words stung Roman like a slap.

"I don't have any makeup on," Roman replied, trying his best to keep a smile on his face, "I got ready as fast as I could. I'm sorry, I must have slept in a bit more than usual. You all weren't waiting too long for me, were you?"

Silence hung in the air like a cloud of fog, until finally, Patton spoke up.

"It's okay, buddy! We learned our lesson now. Next year, we'll just start without you! That should motivate you to get up on time."

Roman winced, his cheeks burning as Logan and Virgil chuckled, and Remus dove into another cinnamon roll. His eyes felt hot as Janus stared at him with a cruelly amused expression, his gaze practically boring into Roman.

This was going to be another hard day, wasn't it?

---

Things started to go even more downhill when presents were being opened. Roman struggled to stay still, so excited about both his gifts, and the gifts that others were receiving, that he found himself constantly squirming in his spot on the floor, surrounded by crumpled up wrapping paper and shiny new items.

"That one's from me!" Roman exclaimed eagerly as Virgil opened up a new pair of black Converse. "They're high-tops, see? And they're platform, because you said you wish you could grow taller for Christmas. Now you can! And look, there's spiderwebs on the bottoms! I painted them myself!"

"Wow..." Virgil said, putting on the shoes and walking around in them. "Cool. Thanks, Roman."

The air turned cold, and Roman started to feel very, very uncomfortable. Virgil seemed happy with his gift, but everybody else seemed upset. Roman didn't understand. Was something wrong with Virgil's shoes?

"Roman, do you- really think that was a sensitive choice?" Patton asked, "How would you feel if someone got you a gift targeting something you're insecure about?"

"Insecure about?" Roman asked, his heart leaping out of his throat, "What- what do you mean? I didn't mean to do anything wrong!"

"Stop attacking Patton and answer the question," Janus hissed, his eyes narrowing.

"I-" Roman choked, looking around the room for any semblance of support. He didn't understand. Why was this happening? He thought he'd gotten Virgil the perfect gift. He looked at his list and picked the one thing that seemed impossible. The one wish that Virgil added, but didn't expect to receive. What was so bad about that?

"Are you just going to sit there and look stupid, or are you going to apologize?"

Even Logan was doing this now?? Roman tensed up. His heart started to pound, and his hands trembled against his will. He slid them under his knees so nobody else would see how afraid he was. After all, that would probably make everyone madder.

"I'm sorry, Virgil," Roman whispered, his voice too watery to speak any louder. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I just wanted to get you something thoughtful."

"Thoughtful," Janus muttered under his breath with a short laugh, exchanging a glance with Patton, who quietly giggled. "Is he even capable of thought?"

"It's...whatever, Roman," Virgil said awkwardly, "They're cool shoes. Can we just move on to the next person?"

Everybody else carried on, perfectly normally, as if nothing had happened. But Roman just couldn't. Tears stung the corners of his eyes, and he repeatedly squeezed them shut and opened them, trying as hard as he could not to cry in front of all of his friends on Christmas.

When it was his turn to open a gift, Roman smiled when he saw that it was from Janus. The past gifts Janus had given were lavish and extravagant, and Roman loved things that made him feel even more like royalty. He carefully unwrapped the golden paper, and tried to mask his confusion as he held up a very, very large book. It was incredibly heavy, to the point where his muscles were straining while he tried to read the cover. And when he did, he felt like he was going to die.

A Comprehensive Guide to Manners and Etiquette.

As everyone else read the title, they started to laugh. Remus high-fived Janus, and Patton snorted, hiding his smile behind his hands.

"Look, Roman, it's extra convenient for you," Janus said, "See? It's almost as big as your ego."

This caused the rest of the group to howl with laughter, and Roman to bow his head, quickly swiping a hand over his cheek before anybody could catch a glimpse of the tear that had fallen as his heart broke on what was supposed to be the most magical day of the year.

But no matter how Roman felt about it, this was a present. He had to do the polite thing.

"Thank you, Janus," he said, cringing at how choked up he sounded.

"Aww, you're welcome, Roman," Janus cooed, "Merry Christmas."

He patted Roman on the head patronizingly, and Roman felt like he was going to suffocate. He was only able to breathe again when the attention was off him, as Patton opened his next present.

Roman tried to steady his breathing, focusing on what everyone else was receiving. He laughed at their jokes, marveled at their presents, and pretended like everything was perfect. It really wasn't much different from performing onstage. All he had to do was play a character. He just had to be the happy, indestructible Princey that everyone wanted him to be.

But that was much easier said than done. Even when Roman stopped speaking, the insults and cruel remarks continued.

"A megaphone! Better not let Roman have it."

"I love this poetry book. It's way better than all the sappy shit Roman writes."

"Roman, aren't you happy with your gift? Now when you feel like being an attention whore, you can write in this diary instead of whining to us about how the lipgloss you ordered is the wrong color."

"This is the last time we let Roman decorate. Look at how gaudy this room is. It's almost as loud as him."

It.

Didn't.

Stop.

The world was spinning. Everything was going wrong, and Roman couldn't understand why. He had tried so hard. He did everything he could to make the others happy, putting in hours to prove that he was more than the selfish, egotistical, bratty caricature that they berated him constantly for being. Maybe Roman was being stupid, thinking that things would be different today just because it was Christmas. But now, Roman was experiencing his very first Christmas in which his biggest wish didn't come true.

He just wanted a day where he wasn't being berated and teased for every move he made. If it was really that hard for the others to resist pulling their tricks and humiliating him, then maybe Roman was the problem. Maybe he had messed up too many times, and was now irredeemable. He would always be the evil twin. The stupid one. The bratty bitch who always ruined every room he walked into. The egotistical one who needed to be knocked down a peg. It wasn't fair. Couldn't they see he was trying? What more did he have to do to prove that he was more than his past mistakes? If groveling and changing everything about himself to the best of his ability wasn't enough, maybe it was time for Roman to give up. Maybe he was going to have to resign himself to being the first punching bag in history to wear a crown and a sash.

"Roman, what are you doing?"

Roman blinked as he heard Patton's voice, stopping his zoning out as he realized something dreadful. His shoulders were rising and falling sporadically against his will, and his breathing was audibly stuttered. Everybody was staring at him with wide eyes, and something salty and wet settled in the groove between his lips.

He was crying. Not just crying--sobbing. Uncontrollably.

"Oh, great, here we go again," Remus sneered, "Little Princey didn't get exactly what he wanted on Christmas."

"That's not why I'm crying!" Roman choked, "I have to go-"

Hands tightly grasped onto his shoulders, pushing Roman back down into his sitting position before he was able to get far off the ground. Janus smirked at Roman as the creative side flinched.

"You're not going anywhere," Janus said, "On a family holiday? What would Patton think?"

"Ro, I just don't understand," Patton cut in, "Why do you always have to make everything about yourself?"

"You totally just killed the vibe," Virgil added quietly.

"We were having fun before you had to go and put a damper on everything," Patton added, "You're ruining Christmas, Roman."

As Roman gazed around the room, he saw not a shred of sympathy. Not even a hint of curiosity or recognition pertaining to why he was feeling this way. Why he was choking on his own tears instead of laughing and having fun like everyone else. Nobody cared. Nobody wanted to keep Roman around except to further embarrass him.

His tears were funny to the others. To them, he was nothing but a sad clown.

"Please let me go," he begged, "Please. I'm sorry. I just need some time in my room, and then I won't do anything wrong for the rest of the day."

"Maybe you should go to your room," Logan said.

"But maybe you shouldn't come out," Janus added, "What do you think, Patton? Is it too harsh to give him a time-out on Christmas?"

"The better question is, can we trust him not to be a whiny little bitch for the rest of the day?" Remus chirped.

As the group deliberated over whether or not Roman had a right to celebrate his favorite holiday with his dearest loved ones, the prince shut down. He closed his eyes and stopped fighting for air through his gasps and sobs. What was the point? What was the use of doing anything if every day was going to be like this?

Roman didn't even push back when Janus carried him to his room, placing him on his bed and locking the door behind him with a magic seal.

How did the fun sound so much louder when Roman was far away from it?

As Roman curled up under his blankets, he let himself cry fully, knowing that nobody would be able to see him and ridicule him anymore. His sobs echoed off his walls, dissonant with the joyous laughter that taunted Roman outside his door.

He really was all alone, wasn't he?

---

taglist -> @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @amazon-me-bitches @izaachehim

(let me know if you want to be tagged in the second part!)

[popculturebuffet]

The Proud Family: Seven Days of Kwanzaa Review (Commission For Weirdkev27)

Happy Kwanzaa all you happy people! Yeah the holiday celebrations aren't done JUST yet as we have one more for you, as it's Kwanza time. Now some of you may be asking…

And i'ts simple: it's an african american holiday created by Maulana Karenga as a way to give the black community an alternative to christmas that wasn't as entrenched in white tradition, though eventually he relaxed things to allow one to celebrate both, the spirit of it, celebrating black culture and history, has remained.

Like Hannukah Kwanzaa hasn't gottne nearly as many specials as Christmas, but it makes what's there stand out all the more. It also makes this episode a bit of a disapointment. See it does show off the holiday well, so even white dumbasses like me can undrestand it. The problem is the rest of the story well….

Yeah while the special does seem to represent Kwanzaa well, as far as I can tell, like with Festival of LIghts i'm an outsider looking in and I know it and am trying my best to be respectful and not act like I thoughly know a holiday that I don't participate in and is very important to a community I don't know all that well, everything else.. isn't very good. It also has one of the most out of nowhere batshit endings i've seen in a long time. Like ti's somehwat set up but man oh man does this one take a weird swerve. So let's look at all this shall we.

The episode follows the Prouds on a typical Christmas where they do the tried and true plot device of shopping on Christmas Eve when hardly anyone does that.. they all do it the days before. What changes though is our proud family runs into a homeless family: Joseph< Margaret and Stephanie. And the show pulled out all the stops as despite being only 11 episodes in, they got Samuel L. Jackson, Vivica A Fox and Raven-Simone, all big names at the time and now, with Raven in paticualr being heavily pushed by the network. I fondly remember her cover of grazing in the grass from the LIon King 1 and 1/2 which I somehow didn't get around to mentoning during my review of that trainwreck earlier this year.

All talented people who naturally do wonderfully. Trudy tries to give to them, while Oscar is a dick about it, assuming jospeh trying to help him with a dropped package is just the man trying to get at ip, making a crack about how we'll be homeless after all these gift, and generally trying to be unpleasant as possible.

I get what the episode is trying to do: They built oscar into a strawman , but one you see all the time: the kind of dickhead who assumes being homeless is a choice, that the homeless are lazy, and that homeless are a plauge to be gotten rid of instead of people who may of lost jobs, not be able to afford housing, or were thrown out by their families for being LBGTQ+, having a mental illness or any number of understandable reasons. It's why I can't fault the episode for wanting to tackle the subject nor using Oscar as the bad guy as with his knee jerk reactions to most things, quick temper and generally douchsiness, it's not a stretch to say this character dosen't respect the homeless. It's why having him be bigoted towards homosexuals in Louder and Prouder also wasn't a huge shock, as Oscar easily strikes me as the kind of guy who while he can be convinced to not be a dickhead about something that really shodun't be that hard to put yoru head around like Gay people have a right ot exist or homeless people need love and empathy not to be shamed for something that's not remotely their fault, and given both things are STILL stuff people need convincing on in 2022, it works. I admire the team for creating an everyman who can be an unlikeable dick one minute and entirely sympathetic the next, and thus is fairly maliable for stories.. while still being a very distinct and hilarious character. You woudln't mistake oscar proud for anyone else but he has many traits both good and bad of a man of his time… and sadly often of a man now.

The problem is they lean on it a bit too hard as they have a scene of him PUTTING A DOLLAR ON A STRING AND YANKING IT FORM CHARITIES. I'm all for cartoony shenanigans, it's one of the things this show really does best, but this stretches it a bit too far. Having Oscar just.. glefully not give to charity is too low even for him. Him being homophobic is defintely lower than this, but at least he gets called out on it by more than one person and got constantly humaited for it till his eventgual ephinay. Here he just gets mildly called out by penny and.. gives to charity later. it dosen't change the fact he was this bad. Oh and he gets a bit muddy and mistaken for homeless. BECAUSE IT'S SO BAD TO GET MISTKAEN FOR HOMELESS WHEN YOUR NOT HOMELESS AND SUCH AH IGH CRIME A YUK YUK YUK.

While this episode TRIES to be empathetic to the homeless it stumbles pretty bad in how it treats them. See there ar epeople who choose not to have a home, who live inc ampers or what have you and want to live the van or rv life. And tha'ts fine: if i't sfinacially sound for you or just th eoption you have, nothing worng with that. The film Nomadland outlines this wohle life style lovingly while not skimping on it's hardships or what would make people choose this. I highly recommend it, true masterpiece.

The problem is the episode comes off really confused as a result as it conflates the kind of people you see on the street begging just to survivie.. with someone who for their own reasons choose. The episode conflates being homeless with some higher calling, as if it's better than having possesions or being chained to the corprations that love our lives. And i'mnot saying living in an rv by choice or what have you isn't. I'm throughly aware captalisim is throughly broken. Wanting to break from it for something diffrent isn't a shame.

The shame.. is assuming all people living on the streets are doing so voluntarily. I dont' think that was the writers intent, but it's the way the episode comes off. The Angel Adults come off very preachy, with Joseph's response to getting christmas gifts, a well meaning gesture by trudy to make sure they too can celebrate by saying he isn't part of the corprations "end of the year selling scheme". or something to that effect. Basically

See it's one thing to me to critcize the captatlist nature of america: the system is often broken, we do often fill our needs with stuff, and we do often put too much importance on having stuff. I agree with it that far. But shaming someone for trying to give you a gift or invite you into their home comes off gross. Am I saying the Prouds are on some higher plane devoid of critcisim of their lifestyles because they were nice enough (or rather everyone but oscar were nice enough), to invite some people needing a warm meal into their home? Fuck no. While what Trudy and Penny are doing is noble, and Oscar is a butt for not going along with it, they can still be flawed> Trudy herself is pretty awful this episode: She gets oscar a nice watch, which itself isn't bad, she said they weren't doing gifts but does something nice fo rhim anyway.. but her expecting a gift RIGHT AFTER both telling oscar they didn't have to and having himn bring that up is shitty. Now granted him trying to cover with a fruit cake the Angels just gave him IN FRONT OF HER was bad and her trying to give his watch to joseph was fair enough as a result, but it's still shitty to give a gift just to expect someone to give it to you in return. That's .. not what christmas is about. I gave kev a gift soley beacuse he's a good friend, and he gave me one back soley to be nice and in the spirit of things. I got Digimon Cookie Cutters because Kev was being enerous and decided to return the sentiment, not because I was expecting him to give me anything. That's how Christmas should work. It's in the good spirit to return a gift with a gift, but it's not why you do it.

The problem is Joesph criticizes their whole middle class life style and won't shut up about it for a chunk of the episode: he outright says the corprate scheme thign while his wife and daughter understandably feel a tad akward not celebrating the holiday, but are polite about it. It's fine to crticize the worse aspects of christmas, MANY a work has crictized how commerical it is all the way back to charlie brown over 40 years ago. But to do so to someone whose welcomed you into their home for the nobelest of reasons, made sure you got a nice gift, and has been NOTHIGN but kind to you isn't right. He coudl've just said "i'm sorry we don't celebrate christmas, but we aprpicate the gesture" There, done. He also does needle oscar later about his materliasim.. but at least there he has what SEEMS to be the high ground and the poitn he makes is a very good one for any holiday: that the family you have is yoru true home, not the stuff.

It also helsp that only oscar.. acts matierlizstic. When Martha does the same to trudy, saying they got tired of captalistic society in so many words, Trudy has again DONE nothing. When Jospeh talks abotu the proceeses turkey goes through, NO ONE had done anything. I get ther'es a lot to critcisie, and i'm not of the shut up and take it school of thought myself.. but when no one is actively being a dick about these topics, maybe just.. let it go. I get not backing down with politics, as some issues like trans rights, gay rights, and black lives mattering.. are all things that shouldn't be talked down and if someone says somnething stupid about them, I get fighting for it. Because it's not a two sided issue at all. Here though.. I coudl see the prouds getting a modified turkey because it's what they coudl find or afford or doing christmas because they enjoy the spirit of giving and family instead of JUST for the shit they get. Someone can be wrong and it be more complicated than that… having the Angels protrayed as entirely right just feels.. off. They feel smug. The end reveal, that in a way they AREN'T homeless, doesn't help that but we'll get to it. It feels like a very tonedeaf privlaged way to write a homeless person: not as a person but some crticising morallly righteous pillar.

The next part does work better, as they come back the next day to celebrate Kwanzaa.. by just.. manefesting into the house.

SO we get a nice education on Kwanzaa, how i'ts more abotu the spirit of family and community, how it's celebrated, and going over the 7 nights, mostly through montage. And this is where the episode honestly shines: Kwanzaa is underrepsrented and not knowing it well myself it was nice to learn what each nigh twas about. it's only real flaw.. is that it's too little of the episode. The setup for this could've been done much faster. I do say a scene with Penny's friends being standoffish with her new friend for being homeless, and her admitting she's fine with it and that her parents are so close their her best friends and she likes reading, is nice: ther'es no stigma for her nor is she a lesson for them to learn, as NONE of those entitled shits learn it. She's just how she is and if they dont' accept it it's on them.

But otherwise.. it w oudl've been nicer to have more of the 7 nights and to show oscar's character growth more convincingly as by the end he likes them. This special.. really needed to be an hour or at least be more about this. Instead they tack on christmas just to get both holidays out of the way and tack on oscar being a douche so he can learn a lesson I guess> the only bit they coudln't of cut out is bobby. Seeing him come down the chimeny was a late christmas present as I had no idea he was in this one. Any episode with Bobby is a good time, and the fact he knows Kwanzaa the best out of the prouds made me smile.

But the spirit of family and community, of them singing songs, giving to charity, just basking in each others togetherness.. that really moved me and made me want to learn more about the holiday. It's a well constructed beautiful holiday not based on getting, but on simply togetherness and ones roots and I admire it for that. I just wish the episode was more about celebrating that and less about a half assed homelesness aseop that woudl've been better served not being shoved into this episode.

The episode also would've worked better.. if the ending wasn't so baffling. Felix returns early needing a forman and since Joesph worked in construction Oscar goes lookign for him.. only for the shelter lady to have no recelction of them visting. The prouds are happy for what the Angels brought them.. only to return home to find their fruitcake has turned into a cool tehcncolor tree.. and the angels are above it, apparenlty being spirits or something having come to teach them about kwanzaa before returning to I guess.. heaven?

This is easily the most baffling ending to a work i've reviewed.. and keep in mind i've reviewed "Scrooge buys an island and pays actors just to teach louie a lesson". The threshold is pretty vast but "Kwanzaa angels" kinda tops it. Not only does it DEMOLISH the homelessness aseop, as they arne't homeless and don't seem to be the ghosts of a homeless family, but it makes all the "their world is better " posteruting that was already packed with unforunate impilcations even worse. Their just beign condescnding.. for no reason. Joesph is a dick because he's an angel. He dosen't have to actually life without food or running water and thus really can't back up his claims. It's heaven. They've got all you can eat and free every media you can imagine and rideable giant pigs. You can't critcize someone for living in a captalist society when you live in heaven, where captalism is dead and you can have whatever you want and party with Leslie Jordan , Prince, David BOwie, Ed Asner , Betty White, Jesus himself…

This episode meant well.. but sometimes meaning well only gets you so far in my good graces. This episode woudl've been better off as one episode about homelessness and another about Kwanzaa angels, which is a sentence I was indeed paid to write but really wish hadn't happened. I really wish this was a better episode, this holiday deserves better and so does the proud family. Maybe they can try again in a future season of Louder and Prouder. one.. can certainly hope.

[teddybasmanov]

Well well, it's been a minute hasn't it, voyeur?

Just wanted to call by and wish you a merry christmas, happy holidays, whatever you prefer. Wouldn't quite feel like I'd finished working through everyone everything on my holiday season to-do list without stopping by... So here I am, at your service.

Is there anything I can do to help you get into the festive spirit? Are you comfortable? Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Cold? ...I'm sure I could think of several things we could do about those problems...but, as I understand it, surprise gifts tend to be quite common this time of year, and I'd hate to see you reach any sort of...conclusion, too soon... Besides, I haven't unwrapped any presents yet, and whilst you look quite remarkable in that outfit, I'm sure we could make an occasion of unwrapping you...

I know people tend to feel strange about christmas, a holiday that comes and goes as quick as anything...You spend all month preparing and then before you know it - it's over. Rest assured, I'd make sure any activities we get up to tonight reach far more satisfying conclusions. In fact, while we're on the topic of christmas always ending too soon...well, as far as I'm concerned the night's still young... how would you feel about dragging as much out of christmas as we can? I mean, people are always complaining that it's "over too soon" (a complaint I'm yet to hear in a personal capacity but nevertheless-), surely it'd be positively sinful if we didn't take advantage of every. last. second...gosh, we might just have to stay up all...night...long.....

I hope you've had a restful day my deviant, because it's going to be a very busy night...

-G x

Well, I'm not the man to believe in Christmas miracles, but when one stands right in front of me in the flesh... (Maybe you're a Hanukkah miracle, though, who knows.)

You see, here's a thing, Gavin - I don't celebrate Christmas - I celebrate New Year, so we have almost a week to reach any kind of conclusion we want. Wrap and unwrap any presents we can get out hands on. And hey, good things come to those who wait - I was planning to wear a mini-skirt on New Year eve - talk about festive wrapping. ;)

So, no need to drag on anything (unless you want to drag something across my skin) - we have more than enough time to be very very thorough.

No worries though, you don't need to tell me to rest twice - I'll be resting and thinking of you - that's definitely enough to give me a festive mood.

I hope your holidays are going well and you're not working too hard on completing you end-of-the-year bucket list - you deserve rest too. :)

[noramoya]

Christmas is a sad time for some. Like for little Michael Jackson, a Johovah’s Witness child. Excerpt from the book “You Are Not Alone: Michael, Through a Brother's Eyes”, by Jermaine Jackson … ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️ ❄️

ETERNAL CHILD

“Michael was standing beside me —I was about 8, he was barely 4—with his elbows on the sill and his chin resting in his hands. We were looking into the dark from our bedroom window as the snow fell on Christmas Eve, leaving us both in awe. It was coming down so thick and fast that our neighborhood seemed beneath some heavenly pillow fight, each floating feather captured in the clear haze of one streetlight. The three homes opposite were bedecked in mostly multicolored bulbs, but one particular family, the Whites, had decorated their whole place with clear lights, complete with a Santa on the lawn and glowing-nosed reindeers. They had white lights trimming the roof, lining the pathway and festooned in the windows, blinking on and off, framing the fullest tree we had seen.

We observed all this from inside a home with no tree, no lights, no nothing. Our tiny house, on the corner of Jackson Street and 23rd Avenue, was the only one without decoration. We felt it was the only one in Gary, Indiana, but Mother assured us that, no, there were other homes and other Jehovah's Witnesses who did not celebrate Christmas, like Mrs. Macon's family two streets up. But that knowledge did nothing to clear our confusion: we could see something that made us feel good, yet we were told it wasn't good for us. Christmas wasn't God's will: it was commercialism. In the run-up to December 25 we felt as if we were witnessing an event to which we were not invited, and yet we still felt its forbidden spirit.

At our window, we viewed everything from a cold, gray world, looking into a shop where everything was alive, vibrant and sparkling with color; where children played in the street with their new toys, rode new bikes or pulled new sleds in the snow. We could only imagine what it was to know the joy we saw on their faces. Michael and I played our own game at that window: pick a snowflake under the streetlight, track its descent and see which one was the first to "stick." We observed the flakes tumble, separated in the air, united on the ground, dissolved into one. That night we must have watched and counted dozens of them before we fell quiet. Michael looked sad—and I can see myself now, looking down on him from an 8-year-old's height, feeling that same sadness. Then he started to sing: "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleigh . . ."

It is my first memory of hearing his voice, an angelic sound. He sang softly so that Mother wouldn't hear. I joined in and we started making harmony. We sang verses of "Silent Night" and "Little Drummer Boy." Two boys carol-singing on the doorstep of our exclusion, songs we'd heard at school, not knowing that singing would be our profession. As we sang, the grin on Michael's face was pure joy because we had stolen a piece of magic. We were happy briefly. But then we stopped, because this temporary sensation only reminded us that we were pretending to participate and the next morning would be like any other. I've read many times that Michael did not like Christmas, based on our family's lack of celebration. This was not true. It had not been true since that moment as a four-year-old when he said, staring at the Whites' house: "When I'm older, I'll have lights. Lots of lights. It will be Christmas every day." 🎄

[fics-n-stuff]

A Nice Christmas

Thanks to @gayhistorynerd for the prompt, see here (I kind of deviated from it a little maybe a lot but the story still stemmed from this prompt)

Pairing: Wilhelm × Simon

Summary: Wilhelm may have denied being in the sex tape, but that doesn't mean that the world has forgotten. The Christmas break proves to be difficult for both Simon and Wilhelm, one suffering from ongoing harassment and the other feeling completely isolated, and they find that they can't help but be drawn back to each other.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: This took me so long to write because I got writer's block right after I started it. This doesn't have a super happy ending because I wanted to try and keep it pretty realistic, but it is pretty sweet and wholesome.

Taglist: @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @rika90 @angelwilhelm

Wilhelm had never felt more alone than he did being home for Christmas break. He spent as much time as was physically possible holed up in his bedroom, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, especially not his mother. He hadn’t turned his phone on for three days, he had bitten his nails down to the nailbeds and he hardly had any appetite. The ache in his chest was constant and unyielding.

He lay in the dark most of the time, his curtains closed throughout the day and only sometimes opened at night to let the moonlight in. Besides that, he didn’t have much idea of how time was passing.

He did know that it was Christmas eve though. And it must be the morning because nobody had come to drag him out of his bedroom to join the celebrations. A cursory peek around the curtain confirmed that, as Wilhelm saw that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet.

A deep breath settled the stone in his stomach, and he reached for his phone with a shaky hand.

When the device turned on it immediately started going crazy with notifications, and Wilhelm felt his heart rate increase with every buzz.

5 messages from August

Ignore.

10 messages from Mamma

Ignore.

2 missed calls from Felice

Wilhelm paused in swiping away the notifications. Felice had called him twice and sent him three messages. He clicked on the message notification, sitting back against the wall and holding in a breath without realising it.

Felice: Hey Wille, how are you feeling being home?

Felice: I just wanted to check in but I can’t get a hold of you, I hope you’re doing alright

Felice: You probably don’t want to talk but you can call or text me whenever you do

Wilhelm sighed. Of all the people that he thought that he could depend on, Felice was the only one that he still had. He swallowed the lump in his throat and called her back.

It rang for a while before she answered, and he’d almost decided to hang up the call when it stopped ringing.

“Wille, good morning.” Felice greeted, cheerful but clearly tired. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, merry Christmas Felice.” Wilhelm replied feebly. His voice was hoarse from disuse.

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about something?”

“Uhm, I- I don’t know, I just... I don’t know.” He stuttered, wrapping his free arm around himself.

“Okay, well, what are your plans for today?”

“I’m not sure, I haven’t really been talking to anyone. What, uh, what are your plans?”

“Oh, you know, just the usual. We’ll watch Kalle Anka's Jul and play some games before dinner, then we’ll open presents.” She explained. The tinny sound of her voice through the phone was actually quite calming.

“What about for the rest of the break?”

“Um, I’m going to New York to see Maddie for New Year, so that’ll be fun. And I’m going back to Bjärstad on Boxing Day to see Sara. I’m gonna stay there just for one night.”

“So you’ve been talking to Sara a lot then?” Wilhelm questioned, moving to bite at his almost non-existent nails.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Has she said anything about Simon? Do you know if he’s alright?” His words came out more rushed than he had intended. Clearly, he was more eager for some sort of information on Simon than he had thought.

“Um, she hasn’t said much but I think he’s pretty okay.” Felice replied, but it was followed by a small sigh that let Wilhelm know that there was more to the story. “Sara says that things have mostly gone back to normal, but Simon goes out a lot less and she’s had to make her Instagram private. I think they’ve had a few people show up at their house.”

Wilhelm swallowed hard, a feeling of guilt crawling under his skin. Simon’s Instagram account had been private ever since the video had been leaked, so it seemed that now people had found Sara’s too. They had attention on them that they had never signed up for, and Wilhelm knew that it was his fault and he felt terrible for that.

“Okay.” He replied shakily. There was a short silence before Felice spoke again.

“How are you, Wilhelm? Really?” She asked.

“Lonely.” He answered. “Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower before someone comes demanding that I take part in the Christmas celebrations.”

“Alright well, call me back whenever, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Bye, Felice.”

“Bye, Wille. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Wilhelm ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan of frustration and sadness. Why couldn’t he just be a normal kid?

He stared down at his phone in his lap, gnawing at the nail of his right thumb in contemplation. With a shaking breath and trembling fingers, he picked it back up, opened his conversation with Simon and typed a short message. He dropped his phone in mild panic as soon as he hit send, and rubbed his hand over his chest as he took a deep, steadying breath.

+ + +

“Simon, wake up. Rosh and Ayub will be here soon.” Sara’s voice stirred Simon from his sleep and he rolled over to look at her. She was already dressed.

“What time is it?” He asked with a yawn.

“Nine o’clock. Get up and come help with breakfast.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up.”

Sara rolled her eyes and left the room, and Simon reached out to his bedside table blindly until his hand landed on his phone. He squinted at the screen as he sat up, faltering when he saw the notification on the screen.

Wilhelm: Merry Christmas Simon

He felt his heart race as he stared at the screen, only snapping out of it when he heard Sara shouting at him from downstairs. He blinked, dropped his phone and set about getting dressed.

Every Christmas eve since they were ten, Simon, Sara, Rosh and Ayub would have breakfast together and then go for a long walk. It was tradition for them at this point, but Simon found himself unable to feel excited for it this year. It was all well and good to pretend like life was going on as normal, but it was hard not to feel uncomfortable when people stared at him everywhere he went.

Rosh and Ayub arrived just as he and Sara were finishing up making breakfast, and they exchanged Christmas well-wishes as they sat down to eat.

“You’re being real quiet over there, Simme. You alright?” Ayub asked after a while, and Simon realised that he’d been completely zoned out.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“About Wilhelm?” Sara questioned. Simon pushed a bite of food into his mouth and shrugged.

“You have to move on, Simon.” Rosh said. “I know you care about him but he’s not worth all the trouble that he comes with.”

“I know. That’s why I ended things.” He replied. “It still sucks though.”

“You’ll get over him eventually.” Sara told him, putting a comforting hand on his for a few seconds before going back to her food. Simon smiled slightly.

He didn’t tell them about the text.

Despite all of that, he was in high spirits when they set out for their walk, happily joking and laughing with his friends, and they made it half an hour before he heard the first comment.

“That’s the guy from the sex tape.” Muttered a girl to her friend as they passed, and Simon felt the smile fall from his face.

“Just ignore them.” Sara told him, wrapping an arm around one of his. He nodded, but it had gotten to him. For the rest of their walk from that point, Simon felt like every person that they passed was looking at him and judging him.

They walked both Rosh and Ayub back to their houses before heading back to theirs just a bit past noon. They had almost gotten home when they were approached by a group of teenagers probably slightly younger than them.

“Are you the guy from that viral sex tape?” One of the boys asked unabashedly, the group coming right up in front of Simon and Sara and blocking their path.

“Uh, I don’t want to talk about that.” Simon replied stiffly, still trying to be polite.

“Oh my god, it is him!” A girl exclaimed.

“Was it actually the crown prince in the video?” Another chimed. Simon felt lightheaded.

“He already said that it wasn’t.” He deflected, trying to sidestep the group.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people that don’t actually believe him.” The girl laughed; actually laughed, as if this hadn’t been an earth shattering event for Simon.

“If it wasn’t Prince Wilhelm then who was it in the video?” A boy asked, and that was when Simon spotted the phone filming him and his stomach dropped.

“I’m not discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers.” He scoffed in disbelief, shouldering his way past the group with Sara close behind him. “Please leave me alone.”

“You could just tell us if it was actually the prince or not.” One of them pressed, the group now following after Simon. “If it wasn’t him then you don’t have anything to hide.”

“Oh my god, did the royal family pay you off? Did they make you sign an NDA!?”

“Were you, like, boyfriends? Or was it just a hookup?”

Simon kept walking, keeping his head down and not answering any of the questions being hurled at him. He could sense that Sara was just as tense beside him. The group followed them for a full block before Simon finally lost his cool and came to a dead stop, turning to face them.

“I’m not going to answer your questions. The fact that you’re following me is not going to make me answer your questions. I’ve had my privacy majorly invaded once already and now you’re invading it again. I’m trying to enjoy Christmas with my sister and you’re chasing me with a camera, I’m sick of people harassing me.” He fumed, making sure to meet the eye of every one of them at some point. “Whatever you choose to believe is not my problem. It doesn’t matter whether you think that the crown prince is telling the truth or you choose to make up some type of theory, I deserve my privacy.”

He didn’t wait for any type of response before he turned around and walked away, thankful to find that they weren’t going to follow him anymore.

“You handled that well.” Sara said quietly once they had turned the next corner. Simon didn’t reply.

When they got home, he went straight upstairs without a word. He slammed his bedroom door shut and buried his face in his pillow, unable to hold the tears back any longer.

By that same evening, the video was viral.

+ + +

I bet that girl was right and the royal family made him sign an NDA

If he didn’t want people to think it was the prince he would have just said that it wasn’t so either the prince was lying or this guy is seeking attention

He’s literally a kid why can’t people just leave him alone??

I don’t care if it was the prince in the tape or not, this guy is hot

The way he said that people are making up theories makes me think that it actually wasn’t the prince in the video

I feel bad for this guy, getting followed around like that must suck

Wilhelm scrolled through the captions and comments on the seemingly endless posts of the video of Simon, feeling like somebody had a vice grip on his heart.

The first time he saw the video had been right after Christmas Eve dinner. He’d had a full blown panic attack and locked himself in the bathroom for half an hour. When he came out, his mother had tried to talk to him about the politics of the situation and he had immediately retreated into his bedroom once again. He missed Erik desperately.

He hadn’t been able to sleep, he'd only gotten about three hours of broken, fitful sleep all night, and now he couldn’t pry himself away from his phone. He knew that it was bad for him, he knew that it was making him feel terrible, but he wanted to know what people were saying.

He had been hesitant to text Simon, especially since he hadn’t received a reply to the merry Christmas text that he had sent in the morning, but in the end he mustered the courage to reach out. He had asked how Simon was doing and apologised for getting him into this situation. He wasn’t surprised when no answer came.

Christmas day was proving to be probably the worst day of Christmas break for Wilhelm. His chest felt like it was bursting open and like it was an empty chasm at the same time. He didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, he didn’t respond to the knocks that came at his door. He felt like he was trapped in a glass box and someone was shaking it.

Wilhelm didn’t know how long he had been scrolling through multiple different social media platforms when his phone buzzed in his hand and an incoming call appeared on the screen. He faltered, sitting up and almost dropping his phone, when he saw that it was Simon. He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he raised the phone to his ear.

“Simon?” He croaked.

“Hi, Wilhelm.” The reply came through the phone, and Wilhelm felt his shoulders relax at the sound of Simon’s voice.

“Hi. H-how are you.” He fumbled, and Simon sighed on the other end.

“I’m okay, I guess. As okay as I can be after... well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”

“This wasn’t your fault, Wille.” Simon muttered. “I just wish things were different.”

“Why, um... why did you call?” Wilhelm asked. There was a short stretch of silence that rung in his ears before Simon answered.

“I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.” He confessed, and Wilhelm couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, I was kind of surprised that you didn’t delete my number or something.”

“Why would I have done that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you weren’t supposed to have any ties with me since you said that it wasn’t you in the video.” Wilhelm winced at that.

“It's not like my contacts list is available to the public.” He replied, trying to keep his tone light. “I’m not gonna let that kind of thing get in my head again.”

“Is your mum mad?” Simon asked, and now it was Wilhelm’s turn to sigh.

“I’m not sure, I kind of shut myself in my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” He answered tiredly. “How is your family?”

“Uh, shaken. Sara’s off in her own world with her sketchbooks and mamá can’t go for more than an hour without checking on us both, but we’re handling it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

There was a silence again. Wilhelm ran his hand across his leg, back and forth in a soothing motion, not sure what he should say but not wanting the conversation to finish. In the end, Simon spoke first.

“Did you mean it, what you said before you left for the break?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, I did.” Wilhelm answered without hesitation. “I know it wasn’t a good time to say it, and you probably didn’t want to hear it, but I just had to say it out loud. At least once.”

Silence again. Wilhelm heard Simon sigh, and pursed his lips nervously.

“I miss you.” Simon said.

“I miss you too.” Wilhelm replied with a nervous yet relieved chuckle. “I miss you a lot.”

Another pause.

“Where do we go from here, Wille?” Simon whispered.

“I don’t know.” Wilhelm mumbled. “But I... I want to fix this. Or at least just try to fix it. You don’t deserve to be harassed like this, and it’s my fault and I feel terrible.”

“It’s not your fault.” Simon reassured with a sigh. “It was everything else. We still didn’t do anything wrong, and that includes you.”

“No, I did. I promised we would be in this together and I broke that promise.”

“I understand why you did it. And I’m not mad at you. Honestly, having thought about it, you probably made the best decision for my sake too. I mean, I’m getting harassed enough as it is already. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you had told the truth.”

“I’m still sorry anyway.” Wilhelm said softly, and Simon chuckled. “So, um, Felice told me she was visiting Bjärstad tomorrow.”

“Yeah, her and Sara have gotten close. It’s nice, you know, that Sara’s made friends. And Felice is cool.”

“Yeah, she’s great.”

There was silence again, and Wilhelm bit at his nails thinking that Simon was done with the conversation.

“Are you alright, Wille?” Simon asked after a while. “I know this is your first Christmas without Erik, and I guess things with your mum might be a little... well, I just hope you’re okay.”

Wilhelm swallowed. He could lie, pretend he was fine and wave away Simon’s concerns, but he knew the lie probably wouldn’t hold up. Or he could tell the truth and admit how painfully lonely he was, how much he hated being home because the palace felt empty without Erik and how much he longed to be with Simon with every fibre of his being.

“I’m coping.” He sighed, settling for a middle ground of vagueness. “It’s lonely here. The ceilings feel too high.”

“Have you had stuff to do?”

“No, not really. I haven’t really been in the mood for Christmas, but I guess none of us are particularly festive this year anyway.”

“Would you - I mean, if you would even be allowed to, but maybe if you could – would you want to come down here for a day?” Simon asked, and Wilhelm could just picture him fidgeting nervously as he stumbled over his words. The image brought a smile to his face.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He answered softly. “I’ll try and convince my parents.”

+ + +

Going to Simon’s house had been an absolute no go with his parents. “Just too risky” his mother had said. However, with enough persistence, he managed to wear them down to a compromise.

That was how he ended up in a car on his way back to Hillerska the day after Boxing Day. While Simon’s house had been absolutely off the table, it would be easy enough to get back to Hillerska without being seen. The only people who were there during the break were security and the people who came to take care of the horses.

He had been worried at first that the inconvenience of it would make Simon not want to bother, but when he texted to ask if it was okay he had been met with a quick agreement.

A security guard unlocked the door for him when they arrived, sworn to secrecy of course, and he headed up to his room to wait. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until there was a knock at the door and he was knocked out of his anxious thoughts.

The door opened slowly, and Wilhelm felt like all of the air was knocked out of his body when he saw Simon step inside, dressed in his beloved purple hoodie under the coat that he took off and draped over the back of a chair that was within reach. The door clicked shut behind him, and silence hung in the air.

“Hey.” Simon greeted finally, and Wilhelm took a deep breath as if he was just remembering how to breathe at all.

“Hey.” He echoed. “How are you?”

“Better.” Simon nodded. “Did you get into a fight with your parents?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Wilhelm muttered. “It’s fine though.”

Simon crossed the room and took a seat beside Wilhelm on the edge of the bed, a good few inches of space between them. It felt like miles.

“You look tired.” Simon commented.

“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.” Wilhelm replied weakly, eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands. “I get that way sometimes. It’s fine.”

“Is it?”

He looked over to find Simon watching him, and he practically crumbled under his gaze. He took a very unsteady breath and shook his head.

“No, it sucks.” He mumbled. His hand drifted back up to his mouth and he gnawed on the nail of his thumb nervously.

“Wille, you’re bleeding.” Simon said, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away from his mouth. Wilhelm looked down at his thumb and saw a bit of blood pooling in the side of the nailbed, becoming aware of the taste of it on his tongue.

“Oh, I didn’t notice.”

“How much have you been biting your nails?” Simon questioned, pulling Wilhelm’s hand towards him to get a look at them. Every nail was jagged and uneven, bitten down to stubs. The skin around them had been bitten at too.

“I don’t know, I do it without realising.” Wilhelm shrugged. “Probably a lot.” He resisted the urge to curl his fingers around Simon’s hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

“You shouldn’t have to bottle everything in, you’re destroying yourself.” Simon murmured.

“I don’t have anyone to talk to.” Wilhelm’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, a single tear managing to fight its way from his eye. “I used to be able to talk to Erik about at least some of it but now he’s gone and I don’t have anyone, and sometimes it feels like the ground is falling out from under me and I just don’t know what to do.”

He didn’t notice that he was hyperventilating until Simon pulled him into his arms. Wilhelm’s chest was tight, rising and falling rapidly against Simon’s body. Simon's arms were wrapped around him tightly, and Wilhelm was suddenly overwhelmed with how much he had been craving a hug as his hands grasped at the back of Simon’s hoodie and he hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck.

Wilhelm had always been told not to cry. Ever since he was a child, whenever he began to cry he was told to stop. The seed had planted itself in him when he was very young, but the fear of letting himself cry didn’t truly grow until he once saw an article in a tabloid. He was barely eleven and he had fallen and hurt himself at an event. He had hardly cried, just a few tears and red cheeks, but the tabloid had had plenty to say about it. He hadn’t let himself properly cry since, except for when Erik died. Even then, he had waited until he was completely alone before he let his weakness show. But now, with Simon, he felt an overwhelming need to let his tears fall.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Simon’s shoulder. He could feel the tears coming out of his eyes but they weren’t falling down his face, instead absorbing into the fabric of Simon’s hoodie.

“It’s okay.” Simon soothed, a hand moving up to stroke over the Wilhelm’s hair.

“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a prince.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to feel normal. Just for once.” Wilhelm said through his tears. “You made me feel normal.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, sympathetic. He loosened his hold on Wilhelm and leaned back, sliding the hand that was on the back of Wilhelm’s head forward to rest against his cheek.

“You made me feel normal too.” He replied softly. “At school I was a social outcast because I’m not rich, and at home I have to take care of my mom and Sara. When I was with you, I didn’t feel like I had to take care of anyone or watch where I was stepping. Well, except that one night.” Wilhelm huffed a slight laugh at the comment, lifting a hand to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “I’ve never seen you cry before.” Simon commented.

“I’m not supposed to.” Wilhelm replied with an awkward chuckle, his head tipping forward in embarrassment. Simon sighed through his nose and lightly touched his forehead to Wilhelm’s.

“You have to cry sometimes, Wille. Everyone cries.”

“I’m not supposed to be everyone.”

“Okay, but sometimes you need to stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be.” Simon told him. “I know you know that.”

Wilhelm took a deep breath. This close to Simon’s face, he could feel his breathing too. He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if that would be okay. He nodded slightly, covering Simon’s hand on his cheek with his own.

“Yeah.” He breathed.

When Simon leaned forward and connected their lips Wilhelm responded automatically, though it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. Once his brain did catch up, his hand took hold of the back of Simon’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer, holding onto this moment like it was his last. Maybe it would be the last time he got to kiss Simon; he couldn’t know. He hoped it wouldn’t be.

“Thanks for coming to see me.” Simon said when they broke apart.

“Thanks for wanting to see me at all.” Wilhelm replied. “I really missed you.”

Simon hummed, a faint smile playing at his lips. He watched Wilhelm for a few moments before kicking off his shoes.

“Come here.” He said, shuffling over the bed towards the wall. Wilhelm followed suit and allowed himself to be guided down to a lying position, Simon’s chest against his back and arm around his waist. “You need to sleep.”

“It’s the middle of the day.” Wilhelm protested, weak as the protest may have been.

“People have naps all the time, and you know that you need it.” Simon said firmly, adjusting the pillow under his head with his free arm and finding Wilhelm's hand to hold in the other. “It doesn’t have to be for long, okay?”

“Okay.” Wilhelm nodded, feeling suddenly very relaxed. He took a deep breath settling into the comfort and warmth of Simon’s body around his as his eyes fell shut. “This is nice.” He mumbled after a while.

“Yeah.” Simon agreed softly. “Go to sleep, Wille.”

It wasn’t long until he felt Wilhelm’s breathing change, signifying that he had fallen asleep. He smiled, fondly but with an edge of sadness to it, and pressed a light kiss to Wilhelm’s shoulder before closing his own eyes. They would deal with the rest of the world when they woke up.

[nationalharryleague]

Christmas in Holmes Chapel

Pairing: Harry Styles x Y/N

Genre: Christmas fluff on top of Christmas fluff

Word count: 1.7K 

A/N: Hi everyone! This is something I wrote super quick because I was in the Christmas spirit! I was/am also quite drunk (so be nice)!! More of my better writing can be found in my masterlist and I would love to hear what you think ab this in my ask! Also shoutout to Liz (@kiwicherryallaboutharry​) and Morgan (@soullikestyles​) for beta-ing and being sweethearts!! Thank you for reading <3

***

Shouts of “they’re finally here!” were the first things she heard when Harry opened the door to his mum’s house. After two delayed flights, ten hours on a plane, and bumper to bumper traffic the entire way to Anne’s, they were in shambles. This was the first time the pair were spending Christmas with Harry’s family, and this was definitely not the way she wanted it to start. She almost started crying when Gemma took her into her arms after nearly running across the house to greet her.

“I’m so happy you two made it,” she smiled, rubbing Y/N’s tired back when she didn’t release from the hug right away. “I was afraid that you weren’t going to make it tonight.”

“I could cry, Gem. I'm so happy to be here right now,” she confessed honestly, exhaustion clear in her voice.

Gemma released her from the embrace when Harry tapped her on the shoulder. “Hello? I’m here too. Do you not miss your baby brother?” His voice dripped with sarcasm and his dimples were deep on his cheeks, as they always were when he was home.

She rolled her eyes at him, muttering sarcastically “not as much as I missed your lovely girlfriend,” before he pulled her into a hug of his own. The two were the spitting image of each other, both with their exceptionally similar smiles and adorable noses. He squeezed the smaller woman tight, enjoying their reunion after not seeing each other for at least three or four months. They were still so close, even after Harry’s move to LA to be closer to his girlfriend. Y/N had pretended more than once that she hadn’t overheard them when he would call her for relationship advice.

Looking away from the Styles siblings, she was met by Anne's bright smile paired with her wide open arms extended for a hug. “Sweetheart, it’s so good to see you!” she exclaimed with a Santa hat sitting snugly on her head, pulling her close to the woman’s warm and kind body. “There are plates of dinner made up for the two of you in the kitchen and plenty of leftovers in the fridge if you want any more.” She was naturally so caring about those around her and tonight was no different.

“Thank you so much, Anne,” she said graciously. “I’m so sorry we’re so late.”

“Oh, stop it. It’s a Christmas miracle you made it at all with the snow,” she brushed away her apologies, her voice taking a more serious turn as she locked her eyes with hers. “I’m so happy you’re here, Y/N. You’re just as much a part of our family as Harry is now.”

Y/N’s heart warmed with the kindness behind Anne’s words. There was so much love surrounding her right now, too much for her to comprehend without getting teary eyed. She was so thankful for the tenderness and care Harry’s family had shown her over the last three years. She felt at home in what used to just be a house to her; like she was a part of the family.

“Oi, stop hogging her,” Harry teased Y/N, bumping her hip lightly with his and nudging her out of the way so he could hug his mum.

“Harry Edward, I raised you to be polite. Leave the poor girl alone,” she scolded, but opened her arms up wide to receive her son. He was so much bigger than she was, seeming to swallow her body whole in his arms. Y/N couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips as she watched the two interact.

The pair of travelers were passed around the living room, giving hugs and kisses to the various aunts, uncles, cousins, and stragglers that were attending Christmas Eve dinner at Anne’s. The room was full of loud boisterous laughter and Christmas music that played off an antique record player and it smelled like wine and the remnants of a large dinner that had been eaten when they just couldn’t wait any longer for the two to arrive.

Y/N’s stomach growled without permission as soon as she saw the plates of food resting on the counter that had been waiting for them. The pair stood hovered over the plates and ate like they hadn’t seen food in weeks. At the moment, she could only think of two things she knew about Anne for sure: she knew how to raise children and she was a fantastic cook.

When she looked up and saw a spot of gravy hanging on the edge of Harry’s mouth, she just couldn’t resist. She tiptoed and pressed a short kiss to the corner of his lips, taking the gravy with her in the process. He looked down at her with a slightly surprised, but mostly loving, look after she pulled away. The edges of his lips turned up, asking “What was that for?”

“You had something,” she mused, jokingly twirling her pointer finger in the direction of her own mouth.

Before she could process it, his lips were back on hers, kissing her slowly and with so much love. His lips were soft and pillowy as always, but there was something more behind them that she just couldn’t place.

“What was that for?” she asked breathlessly when he released her, using his own words against him.

“I know I have been kind of on edge all day and I just wanted to thank you for dealing with me. I love you so much.” She couldn’t fight the grin that found its way onto her face every time he told her that he loved her. Sometimes she still couldn’t believe she had nabbed such a good one.

“I love you too. Are you alright?” She asked worriedly, noticing the way his eyebrows were nervously knit together and how his posture was slightly worsened like it always was when he was stressed.

“I’ll be okay soon.” There was more behind his words, she knew it for sure, but Harry was very good at playing it cool when he wanted to. She knew he would either tell her soon or it would resolve on its own; she trusted him to tell her what was going on if he really needed her.

Her train of thought was interrupted when Gemma stuck her head into the kitchen and announced that the annual Charades tournament was beginning. Y/N had only heard about the myth of the Charades tournament before and she was excited to find out why her boyfriend raved about it so often. Harry excitedly grabbed her hand, leading her into the crowded living room, watching as the first teams had already begun acting out and guessing.

Before long, it was Harry and Y/N’s turn to go, matched up against Gemma and her husband. She sat on the couch, assigned to play the guesser after he cockily told her ‘there's only one actor in this family,’ and watched closely as both Harry and Gemma read the clue written on the small slip of paper. Gemma gave him a playful and excited smile before extending a friendly hand for him to shake.

“You ready for this, H?” she asked, but once again, Y/N felt like there was more behind her words than friendly competition. Y/N began to think she was being kept in the dark about something, but before she could think too hard about it the pair had begun their miming.

Harry took the approach of creating a circle with his pointer and thumb, repeatedly slipping the whole he had created over his left ring finger.

“Wedding ring!” she guessed excitedly from the couch, only to be met with a shake of his head.

He then moved to get down on one knee, pretending to hold a ring box in his hands. “Asking someone to marry you!” she questioningly yelled again, only met with another shake of his head, but she could tell she was getting closer.

It was when he performed the same ring gesture while on his knee that she got it. “Engagement ring!” She nearly screamed and jumped off the couch, twirling in celebration (a symptom of always being a bit too competitive) after Harry’s face lit up and signaled they had won.

She was confused for a split second when she came back around and Harry was still on his knee, but it all made sense when she saw the real ring box that was now in his hands. Her hands flew up to her face in shock and she was unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone words.

“My love,” he began softly, “I knew I wanted you in my life forever from the moment I met you at that stupid bar. I fought Mitch so hard that night, but he dragged me along and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She remembered that night fondly, but it had admittedly been a mess. She had just gotten dumped and so had Harry, when they found each other at the end of the bar, far away from anyone who was actually having fun, they had started talking and never stopped.

“You make me a better person,” he went on as tears had begun to roll down her cheeks, “and I never want to be who I was before I met you ever again. I love you so much and I never want to live without you. So,” he took a deep breath with hopeful eyes, “will you marry me?”

A shout of “Yes!” let her lips before he even finished, throwing herself at him and bringing him into a kiss.

It all made sense now. She understood why Harry had been so upset when their flight had been messed up, and why Gemma and Anne had been so excited to see them, and especially why he had been on edge all day. He was nervous to ask her, in the most charming and endearing way.

The crowd around them cheered when they finally stood up and their eyes locked as Harry delicately slid the ring onto her left hand. His eyes were slightly teary, but held an excitement that was unmatched. The ring was giant and beautiful, exactly what she expected from him when the time came, and she could barely tear her eyes away from it.

“This is the best Christmas present ever, H. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Thank you for reading! Reblogs/feedback are much appreciated!! 

[mysoftboybensolo]

The Alienist and the Soprano

Chapter 13: The Holidays

A/N: This was inspired by Laszlo’s love of opera and my thought on what if he fell for an opera singer. Multi chapter. Canon divergence, there is no Mary Palmer here (I loved Mary and Laszlo, so I don’t feel like I could have her here and have him be with another woman). A mix of show and book canons. No Y/N, OC named Evelina Lind.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32029150

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Fem OC!

Summary: The last thing Laszlo Kreizler ever expected while investigating the death of children was to fall in love, and with an opera singer no less!

Warnings: Age gap, Victorian Christmas, mentions of past abuse, but much fluff! I had done my research on what Christmas was like back then, as well as the Hanukah dates and it seems 1897 was a big year; “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” was published in September of 1897, electric Christmas lights were growing in popularity and the unification of the boroughs in New York was official on New Years. And there is your history lesson of the day.

The air grew colder as Laszlo and Evelina’s relationship grew warmer. Evelina was spending more time with the team, just as Laszlo was becoming more and more acquainted with Evelina’s opera friends. Compared, they were a more rambunctious group, and she knew that Laszlo had his limits, but admired him for trying so hard. Maria often helped Laszlo along when Evelina was not by his side and he felt immensely grateful to her for guiding him through the corral. At first, her opera friends hadn’t been sure of Laszlo, unsure of this man who makes a living in psychoanalyzing people, who didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, but they always caught the spark of joy in his eyes when Evelina came beside him, the way he tried so hard for her. Even if he couldn’t keep up with them, they still saw the utter devotion between the pair and that was enough for them to approve the relationship.

It was a time for the singers to rest themselves for The Nutcracker to be performed, and a real treat for them all. It had done so well last Christmas that the opera house had decided to do it again, and who knows, perhaps it will become a Christmas tradition.

As November closed in, Evelina had been helping Sara scout out locations for her new agency, hoping that she’ll find it before the weather turned too cold to be out scouting. As they looked around a space, Evelina asked Sara a few questions. “What will you require of your workers to do?”

“Just as any other detective agency will have, secretaries, detectives. Roosevelt has agreed to let the officers help us whenever we need it, which must mean he bears no ill will towards my leaving. Hmm, no, too small. I need at least four rooms; this will not do.” They stepped out into the cool air, leaving them both to shiver. “Winter certainly is coming, there is no doubt.”

“Yes, that shall mean Christmas!” Evelina replied excitedly. “It’s my favorite time of year. Everything looks so magical with the snow and the good cheer, and of course the music.”

“Well, then you might convince Laszlo to have a party this year. He doesn’t celebrate it, at least, from what I have known of him. I wonder if it comes from an unhappy memory,” Sara mused.

“Then I shall make it my duty to give him a Christmas full of happiness. The opera will be performing The Nutcracker, perhaps I will invite him to a performance then have a party. It’ll only be a small affair, you, John, and the Isaacson Brothers.”

Sara looked at her strangely then asked, “You are aware that they are Jewish, don’t you?”

“I am more than aware, in fact, I know that it starts on the nineteenth of December and ends on the twenty-seventh. And it doesn’t have to necessarily be a Christmas party, but a holiday party. A celebration of simply being together and friends. Surely, Laszlo couldn’t object to that.”

Wrapping her arm around Evelina’s, Sara couldn’t help but to smile. “Not when you put it that way, he wouldn’t.”

Laszlo visited just shortly after the ladies returned home, feeling too frozen to go any further. “And how has the property hunting been going for you?”

Sara groaned, “Don’t mention it. It feels as if I am never going to find the perfect place. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to get myself a good stiff drink,” she huffed as she went off to the kitchen, leaving Evelina and Laszlo alone in the den.”

Now was the perfect time for her to ask the question. “Laszlo, Christmas is coming soon, and I was wondering what it is that you do for the holidays?”

“Well, Christmas Eve, I spend it with the children who are left behind at the institute, watch them open their gifts in the morning then return home for a quiet day in.”

“Oh, Laszlo,” she said, “I love that you take care of your children, but what about yourself? Doesn’t it get to be a bit lonely?”

He pursed his lips in thought then said, “Well, yes, I suppose, but it was better than what I used to have when I was younger. Those were the better days. We hosted a fine Christmas party, my father was at his best and my mother wore her finest, and the house looked like a picture book. But” he said, with matter-of-fact tone, “When the party was over, it wasn’t so picturesque.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” she softly affirmed.

“No, I want to, and we promised, no secrets.” It was true, after the absolute confusion that came from not sharing their feelings and the disaster that followed, they had agreed that nothing would be held back. “Santa was not something told in my household, but rather the fear of God. He’d make me read the bible which involved the birth of Christ, but any little flaw, hesitation or stutter and he’d beat me while calling me a blasphemer for ruining the scripture.”

She wanted to ask how that was better than the usual days, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. “My mum died just a week before Christmas, and to celebrate it without her was awful. Winston was not manageable during those times,” she paused after the mention of her brother, and Laszlo saw a flash of pain in her eyes. “When he was locked up, that first Christmas, my father broke down, he felt he had broken his promise to my mother in keeping the family together. Even though I told him that he was not to blame for Winston’s actions, every year after, I could see the echo of pain in his eyes. This will be my first Christmas without any of them.”

Laszlo lifted his hand, unsure if he ought to reach out and comfort her, and knowing that she’d not only appreciate it, but that he’d have to get used being open with another, he placed a hand on top of hers, which rested on her lap. It was the right move to do, as it had made her smile and lean in to rest her head against his shoulder. Laszlo felt a small surge of pride in himself, he was doing better in showing intimacy and he liked it.

Having a party to plan helped to fill Evelina’s free time from the opera, but most importantly, it allowed her the chance to make a surprise for Laszlo. Thanks to her covert cleverness, she found out which children will be spending Christmas at the institute and with the permission of the staff, she managed to pull them together to work on a surprise for him. They nearly got caught once, Laszlo came back from a meeting a bit sooner than Evelina expected, but she managed to play it off well, saying that she had been bored and wanted to play the piano for the children.

Stevie proved to be rather helpful in preparing Christmas at Laszlo’s home and was more than happy to be commissioned by Evelina to help with the planning. He scoured out the best decorations and the best tree to have standing in Laszlo’s den, and when he was finished with it, even he could admit he did a rather fine job. There was one thing that Laszlo had a hand in the decorations, and it was the purchase of these new electric string lights, meant to replace candles, and it was a smart choice, and in Evelina’s words, magical. As Stevie was busy with the decorations, Evelina was off to work with the invites and the Isaacson Brothers were surprised to say the least but were still very pleased to be invited to such a party, knowing how much it meant to her. Sara had been the first unofficial guest invited and John most certainly was not one to pass up a party.

Christmas Eve arrived and Evelina dressed herself in her green and red velvet walking gown, truly getting into the spirit and went to the institute to see Laszlo. Many of the parents came to take their children home for the holidays and as much as it was a wonderful sight to see parents not forsake their little ones, it was doubly heartbreaking to see those few whose parents never came. It was Laszlo and Evelina’s special mission to make sure that they still received the experience that they would have had if they were home, even carrying on the duty of decorating the tree and great hall for the children to enjoy. Most of the staff could go home to spend it with their family, but there were a few who did not have a family of their own who stayed and happily joined in the festivities with the children.

Daylight had gone when was a surprise waiting at the front door, and who would have guessed that Santa would come and see the children of the Kreizler Institute? Watching John all dressed up as Santa was a delight, especially when the younger children climbed on his lap and gave “Santa” a hug and wished him a Merry Christmas. It didn’t take much convincing, for John thought it a wonderful idea and he could not say no to Evelina’s sweet intentions, even if it made him look a bit silly. Sara was the unofficial Mrs. Claus, dressed in her lovely green evening gown and many of the children loved going up to her and asking questions of the North Pole, truly convinced that she was indeed the wife of Santa. She watched John take in the children’s excitement with great stride and enjoyment and thought it the finest thing she had ever seen, and her heart swelled at the thought of him doing this for the children.

When John and Sara left, it was time to show off Evelina’s surprise. Gathering the children up, she sat at the piano and began to play. Laszlo watched with wonder and love as Evelina led the children in a most heavenly rendition of Ding Dong Merrily On High, the children looked so happy to be a part of something. He wasn’t even bothered by the religious overtones of the song; he just enjoyed the sweet voices that sang in perfect harmony and was touched to see that his love put so much effort into surprising him.

Soon, it got to be bedtime and the children were escorted back their rooms, eagerly awaiting Santa’s arrival and the staff to their rooms. Usually, Laszlo was the only one to take up the duty of stuffing the stockings and providing the children with gift, making sure each one got an equal amount from Santa. Evelina stayed with him and happily helped to stuff the stockings, despite her own sleepiness. It was an endearing sight, the pair of them on the floor, helping to stuff stockings and wrap presents.

“How long have you done this?”

“Ever since the institute was opened. It was quite sad to see those children left behind to have nothing, so I made sure to carry on the tradition of Santa. You may think that I do not agree with the idea of telling fantastical stories to children, but I think it is important in the development of a child. It stimulates their creativity as well as teaches them lessons.”

Evelina smiled and started with, “Don’t laugh, but I still believe in Santa. Oh, I don’t mean that there is an actual person who goes about in a flying sleigh and gives presents to all children around the world, but the idea of him. Do you remember back in September there was that article answering a little girl’s question of if there was a Santa? That article was a wonderful summation of how I feel about Santa. How there is someone who can be full of good cheer and selflessness and the possibility that we could be just like him. Like this, right now. The fact that you go out of your way to make sure these children have a merry Christmas, to never make them feel left out, it is very Kris Kringle of you. And I am sure you’d look dashing in red.” His deep blush only proved her right.

It was nearing midnight when they had finished and left the institute and despite the chill, they walked through the snowy streets, enjoying the calm and winter beauty. “I am sorry if this wasn’t what you had imagined you’d spend your Christmas Eve.”

“Indeed, it was far better than I could hope. To help give children a good time, to create magic and now walking home with you, it is wonderful.” The church bells tolled, and they stopped to listen to the lovely knells as it chimed Christmas day. “Merry Christmas, my darling.”

Laszlo smiled, knowing that she gave him at last an endearment. “Frohe Weihnachten, meine liebe.”

Laszlo came to pick up Evelina early on Christmas day so she could be at the institute before the children woke and watch with Laszlo as they opened their gifts from Santa as well as from Laszlo himself. She loved the glimmer in his eyes when looking at the children enjoying themselves, forgetting their woes and problems, glad to see that they would have a normal childhood that he never had. Once he was sure that the children were taken care of, the pair went off to enjoy Christmas themselves. It had been purely coincidental, but Laszlo wore his dashing green vest and tie while Evelina wore her lovely red satin dress, looking as if they had coordinated with the holiday and each other, anyone who didn’t know them would have been certain they were husband and wife.

The party was beginning at noon, giving time to everyone that was coming to enjoy their morning and get ready to spend it together. Sara had been the first to arrive, no surprise, the Isaacson Brothers came, Marcus brought along his dear Esther and her daughter, and then John. Laszlo had almost thought that all the guest had arrived, when Stevie entered and said, “We’ve got two more guests!”

Laszlo looked perplexed, for who else could come, and Evelina watched in amusement as his mouth fell agape as Cyrus walked in with his niece, Joanna, looking rather fine in their Sunday best. Laszlo jumped up from his seat and went to his old employee and friend. “Cyrus! How are you? I didn’t know you were coming.”

“No, but Miss Lind did. Stevie brought Miss Lind to my work and she had personally invited me to the party, as well as Joanna. It was wonderful of her to come to me personally.”

Evelina stood and warmly greeted Cyrus and Joanna. “I am so glad you came. Laszlo told me so much of you and I just had to properly get to know his dear friend.”

“And I am honored to know the woman who could convince him to throw such a party,” Cyrus laughed heartily.

Evelina had been a wonderful hostess, making sure everyone had been attended to, even making sure Stevie felt welcomed in the celebrations and had helped Lucius feel a bit more at ease with the help of Joanna, of which the pair seemed quite intrigued by each other. Laszlo watched in wonder of how she could manage to move around with grace, kindness and energy when he still had difficulty to be as open to those of whom he feels are his friends. He admired her and was honored to be the man of whom she loved above others.

The afternoon was spent playing games, Blind Man’s Bluff, Yes and No, and Charades. Laszlo had sat out of Blind Man’s Bluff, but allowed himself to be dragged into Charades and Yes and No. He was afraid of appearing to look ridiculous, but Evelina argued that everyone was doing the same, so they all looked the same amount of ridiculousness. The luncheon was informal, people made their own plates and sat around Laszlo’s den, like they all were old friends, and it was a kind of homey feeling that Laszlo had never felt before, it was warm, safe, good.

It would not be a good party without a mistletoe, at least according to John, who hung it over his friend’s head and teased that someone ought to kiss him or else he will. Evelina more than happily rose to the challenge, making it the second kiss that the pair had shared. She challenged John to hang it over his head and get a kiss, or else he’ll have to kiss the lizard at the institute, and just as she hoped, Sara decided to help him out by placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, but he turned on accident and the pair had kissed on the lips. The blush on their faces told so much and Evelina buried her face in Laszlo’s chest to try and stop her smile from being noticed, but she spotted something beyond him. Moving towards it, she couldn’t help but to admire the beautiful piano. Laszlo came up beside her and said, “You may play on it whenever you wish. It’ll be nice to see that old thing getting some use. I haven’t played in so long.”

“You played?” She had never known that Laszlo used to play, at least before the incident.

“Yes. I was quite good.”

“Better than good,” Sara interjected, coming in the conversation, hoping to escape her situation. “His name was in all the papers; he could have been a great pianist.”

“Why don’t we do gifts?” Evelina suggested, hoping to prevent Laszlo from falling into his darker thoughts, and she excitedly handed out her gifts. They weren’t expensive gifts, but they were heartfelt and personal to each, and that meant more than anything in the world, even Stevie, who hadn’t expected to get a gift and didn’t usually like to be sentimental, but even he couldn’t refuse the copy of An Anarchic Adventure by Jules Verne, his favorite author. Laszlo had received a copy of The Psychology of Emotions by Théodule-Armand Ribot, of whom Laszlo had been fascinated with.

Laszlo made himself go last, giving everyone incredible gifts; Stevie getting his very first shaving kit as he was now a young man, Esther and her daughter fine new dresses, to name a few, and lastly went to Evelina, giving her a box. When she opened it, it was a beautiful toiletry box, made of a dark wood and lined with pink velvet. Opening one of the drawers, she noticed two large and full bottles of her perfume, ‘Fantasia de Fleurs’. “Oh, Laszlo! This is too much! And on top of that, two bottles of my perfume?”

“It is not too much,” he countered, “And besides, it is for selfish reasons too, for I love your scent, perhaps a bit too much,” he admits with a blush across his cheeks. “No one else should buy this for you but myself.”

It was true; when she did first receive this, it was meant to be a bribe gift from one of the patrons at the opera, but she loved the scent too much to toss it away. To have Laszlo buy it for her not only was sweet, but intimate, and she liked that he felt way, wanting no other to buy her perfumes. Sara had been the one to inform which perfume it was and told Laszlo that she had mentioned about getting a box of her own, and he made sure to get the finest box with the two largest bottles so she wouldn’t have to.

The Isaacson Brothers had left with their guests and just before everyone was to go off on their own, Evelina made sure to have a few carols played and sung. John and Sara had quite nice voices which blended very well together, Cyrus deep and warm, and Joanna and Stevie wholeheartedly sang. Laszlo’s voice was not deep or powerful, but it was soft and comforting, and it sounded wonderful to hear him sing Silent Night in German, a request that Evelina had asked, and he did only for her. When he sang, all stopped and listened, and all Laszlo could see or know was Evelina, playing the piano, with a grace and power that reminded him of his youth. Instead of painful memories, it made him smile and happy.

Cyrus and his niece left to have dinner with their family, John to his grandmother’s, leaving Sara and Stevie to join Evelina and Laszlo to the opera for The Nutcracker. This had been Stevie’s first time to the opera and the wonder in his eyes was so enduring and how he watched as the story enfolded before his eyes. In the dark of the auditorium, Evelina had reached her hand over to Laszlo’s, and held it. He looked over at her and wordlessly, he thanked her for a wonderful Christmas.

The good cheer from Christmas continued to carry on for the next few days as New Year’s was approaching and for good reason. The New York government had made the decision to unite the five boroughs of the city to create what would be nicknamed “Greater New York” and it was a wonderful reason to celebrate.

It was a momentous occasion, one that Evelina wished to see and thanks to Laszlo’s influence, they managed to watch it all happen close by and safe away from the mad crowd and the pouring rain. As the New Year rang, everyone watched in wonder as fireworks blasted in the sky, cannons fired, steamboats blowing their horns and brass bands played their hearts out, for when the new year rang, the new flag had unfurled over city proclaiming it’s celebration, the birth of the City of New York.

“Oh, darling,” Evelina gasped, “Just think, we are lucky to have seen this happen. To see a city come together as one, it’s beautiful!”

Laszlo wrapped his arms around Evelina’s waist and placed his head in the crook of her neck as they watched the city celebrate outside, “1898 shall be a happy year. I am sure of it.” She turned her head and shared their third kiss but first kiss of their new year and turned back to watch the merriment.

It then struck him right then and there, something that he thought would never be possible, something he’d never have, and yet it was here in his arms, and he would not let it go so easily. Now, it was just the matter of asking the question.

Tagging: @monsieurbruhl​ @cazzyimagines​, @scuttle-buttle​, @violetmuses​ @flutterskies​ @sokoviandelights​ @rumblelibrary​ @fictionlandslanddreams​ @somethingthatsaysbubbles​ @alindeluce​  and @barnesxnobles

[theladyofdeath]

The Perfect Gift {Rowaelin}

Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous.

This has been a hard Christmas for everyone, @snelbz​ and I included, so I apologize for my lack of posts. In years past, Christmas fics have been my favorite to write and post, but this year...I lacked any Christmas spirit, whatsoever. However, as that has been the case for many of us, hopefully these last few holiday fics will give you a little boost of holiday spirit. (;

Written with Shelb, of course.

Rowan got the same gift for Christmas every year: working overtime from the week before Christmas until after the New Year. 

It left him exhausted, hardly able to keep his eyes open as he pulled onto his street. He longed for his apartment, even if he wasn’t sure if he was going to the fridge for a beer or heading straight to bed.

It had been one of those days.

It didn’t help that he had to drive slower, being extra cautious, because of the heavy snowfall. 

He parked in the lot, thankful that there was a spot near the staircase and as he brought the car to a stop, he dragged a hand down his face.

Thankfully, he’d be off tomorrow and would celebrate the holiday with his friends. Before turning right back around to be at work the day after Christmas.

With a yawn, Rowan pulled himself from the car and trudged up the stairs towards his apartment. As he approached, however, he realized he could hear festive music playing from within and he looked up to find a large, and very glittery, wreath hanging on his front door.

He reached for the knob and found it unlocked, which it certainly hadn’t been when he’d left for work this morning.

He slowly pushed it open, and froze.

Aelin Galathynius was up on a stepstool, reaching up high to place a star on the top of a Christmas tree.

It wasn’t his Christmas tree.

Rowan didn’t have a Christmas tree. 

Rowan had zero Christmas decorations, had nothing that resembled the holiday whatsoever. 

Aelin, as she shook her Christmas-pajama-ed ass to the obnoxiously loud Christmas music streaming through his bluetooth speaker, apparently disapproved of that fact.

Rowan cleared his throat, and loudly shut the front door behind him.

She yelped and nearly dropped the sparkling tree topper, but righted herself and turned around to look at him. “Oh. Hey.”

Rowan had to fight off another yawn threatening to take over, but he felt a small delight in unexpectedly seeing his best friend. “What are you doing, Ace?”

“You’re off early,” she said, ignoring his way question and hopping off the stool. She carefully placed the star on the coffee table, which looked like a tiny snowman village. “You don’t usually get off work until, like, ten on Christmas Eve.”

“Lorcan sent me home, said I’d been working too many hours,” he said, leaning against the back of his door.

“Great,” she said, grinning. “Here, go put these on.” She held out a pair of pajama pants, that were identical to the pair she wore.

He blinked at the red and green Christmas trees displayed across the gray, fleece fabric. “Are we really doing this?”

Her mischievous grin deepened. “Oh, most definitely.”

He shook his head, slowly. “You know, I planned on coming home, taking it easy, going to bed early…” He trailed off, taking the pajama bottoms from Aelin, once she shoved them into his chest.

“On Christmas Eve?” Aelin asked, one golden brow raised. She grabbed her phone off the side table and turned the volume down, just a little bit, as some classic, cheesy song played in the background. “You can take it easy, but we’re going to be festive, damn it.”

He sighed, knowing there was no way he was going to win the current argument, and made his way back towards his bedroom. Decorations lined all of the walls and there was some sort of lit up knickknack or garland sitting on every surface of the apartment. He paused and turned back to look at her. “How long have you been here?”

Glancing down at her watch, she said, “I got off work at two-thirty today, like a normal person, so…” She shrugged.

“So two-thirty, then?” He asked, starting his walk back to his room again.

Aelin laughed. “Pretty much.”

Rowan just shook his head as he stumbled into his bedroom. The moment he closed his bedroom door, he stared lovingly at his bed.

His perfect bed.

So comfy, so warm.

With another wide yawn, he kicked off his boots, then his jeans, and slipped on the pajama pants.

He hated to admit just how soft and cozy they really were.

And it didn’t make him want to not climb into bed any less. 

By the time he made it back into the living room, Aelin had forgotten about putting the star on top of the tree and was pulling a tray of gingerbread man cookies out of the oven.

“You need a life,” Rowan announced. “This is…”

“Amazing?” Aelin supplied.

Rowan chuckled. “A bit much.”

She smiled, setting the tray down on the stovetop. “We only get one Christmas a year. Why not make it count?”

He rolled his eyes and turned, finding a festive movie menu on his television, with a pile of blankets on his couch, two mugs of hot chocolate and decorated cookies on the coffee table. He looked back into his room and wondered how he hadn’t noticed his comforter missing from his bed.

“Oh no,” he said, letting his head fall into his hand.

“Oh, yes,” Aelin said, smirking as she moved past him and flopped onto the couch.

“Christmas movies are cheesy,” Rowan muttered.

“Not all of them,” Aelin protested, crossing her arms.

“Yes, all of them, every single one,” he argued.

“You're such a Scrooge,” she teased, picking up her mug of hot chocolate. When she pulled the mug away, she had a thick, whipped cream mustache. 

Rowan couldn’t help his laugh as Aelin’s eyes narrowed. She quickly sucked in her top lip and licked it off, a gesture that made Rowan’s laughter quickly fade.

Rowan and Aelin had been best friends their entire lives. They'd been there for each other through every high and low of their lives, whether that was Aelin graduating top of her class from the University of Terrasen or Rowan’s father leaving just shy of his fourteenth birthday.

Rowan had been in love with her for years.

She had no idea.

“Stop looking at me, asshole,” Aelin muttered, taking another sip from her mug.

Rowan cleared his throat and shook off the moment with a sneaky grin. “If only I had my camera. That would’ve made good future blackmail.”

Aelin rolled. “No need to save blackmail, you already scare every guy I meet away with your looming height and endless broodiness.”

Rowan chuckled. If only she knew. “Alright, Ace. What horrid movie are you forcing me to sit through?”

“A childhood classic,” she said, and pressed play, letting the sound of The Grinch fill the room.

Rowan narrowed his eyes and sat next to her on the couch. “You better be happy Jim Carrey is my favorite actor.”

“Is he?” She asked, with mock surprise. “I had no idea.”

Rowan grabbed a cookie from the plate and bit Santa’s head off. It seemed the best response to Aelin’s sarcasm.

The movie started — Rowan detested movies that spoke in rhyme — and the two settled in to watch. After only a couple of minutes, Rowan was yawning.

“You better not fall asleep,” Aelin said, raising an eyebrow as she looked over at him.

“So bossy,” he said, leaning forward to grab his hot chocolate. He put the mug to his lips and drank. Pausing the movie, he looked over at her. “Is there alcohol in this?”

“You’re asking me if there’s alcohol in it?” Aelin asked, shooting him a grin.

“Of course there is,” he muttered, taking a sip. He could taste a slight hint of rumchata through the cocoa and extensive whipped cream.

Aelin was good at a lot of things.

At the top of the list was a solid mug of hot cocoa.

The titles played, and The Grinch began.

Rowan used to love that movie, back before his father left and Christmas still felt like Christmas.

Aelin had had a hard childhood, too, and Rowan envied her for still loving Christmas. After all those years, she still adored the holiday. Still adored the magic of the day.

Rowan had a much more difficult time getting into the holiday spirit.

That could have been why he chugged the hot chocolate and Aelin was up getting seconds for them both before the titular character was even on screen. That pattern held until an hour later, when Aelin was grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the freezer, the Rumchata long gone and Rowan was hollering from the living room, voice beginning to slur, “Like, if he doesn’t like Christmas, why doesn’t he just move? I’m sure there’s a community of people somewhere who hate Christmas just as much as he does.” Aelin sniggered as she set down the bottle, but he went on. “And for that fact, the Who’s just need to let the damn man live his life. He’s not hurting anyone up on his mountain.”

“He kind of is,” Aelin argued, closing the fridge and heading back to the living room. “I mean, he scares everyone and makes people miserable on purpose.”

“Yeah, because everyone’s so damn judgmental,” Rowan said, his head falling back against the couch cushions. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you love the Grinch so much,” Aelin grinned, falling onto the couch next to him. “Save for being green, you’re practically the same person.” 

“Not true,” Rowan scoffed. “I would never wear the outfit of a German yodeler.” 

Aelin rolled her eyes. “First of all, it’s called a lederhosen. Secondly, you’re so full of shit.” 

Rowan was unable to control his grin. 

“I could see you in lederhosen, by the way,” Aelin continued, sipping from her mug. Rowan followed her lead, the warm sensation of whiskey trailing down his throat.

“I don’t think it’s my style,” he snorted, propping one of his feet onto the coffee table.

“You’d rather wear the table cloth?” Aelin asked, giggling quietly.

“I think that’s more of your style,” he chuckled, tossing back the rest of his mug.

Aelin cocked her head and looked over at him. “Topless, huh? You think that’s my look?”

Rowan began to backpedal. “No, I mean- I just meant it was a skirt.”

Aelin began to howl, Rowan’s cheeks bright red.

“You’re something else, Whitethorn, you know that?” Aelin asked, downing the liquor in her mug.

“In a good way?” Rowan asked.

Aelin looked at him through his side eye and remained silent as she tossed an arm around Rowan’s shoulder. “You’re an interesting man, you know that?”

The alcohol he’d consumed, coupled with the scent of her around him was nearly too much and he was unable to stop his hand from resting on her thigh. “Interesting, huh? Is that a good interesting or a bad interesting?”

Aelin’s own cheeks darkened, but her fingers began to draw small circles into his shoulder. “Good interesting. You’re never boring.”

She lifted her arm off his shoulder, but was glad when his hand didn’t leave her thigh.

“I’ll take interesting,” he went on, even if all he could think about was his hand. His hand that rested on her thigh. Her thigh, which was warm and unmoving. “As long as it’s a compliment.”

Aelin cocked her head to the side, and golden strands fell into her face. “And what do you think of me? Am I interesting?”

“You’re…” His words trailed off as he turned his head to the side and looked into her eyes. Those turquoise and gold eyes that made his knees weak and his heart ache and made him feel like his chest was going to burst. “...dangerous.”

Aelin took a sip of her whiskey, licking the last sip off her lips. “How am I dangerous?”

“First of all, you have no filter,” Rowan said, unable to hide his smile. “You say whatever is on your mind without the consequences.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Aelin asked, brow raised, still fully aware of Rowan’s hand on her thigh. 

“I say it has both its good and bad qualities,” Rowan followed.

Aelin laughed, quietly, then said, “And what else makes me so dangerous?”

“Exactly what you’re doing right now,” he said, taking a deep breath, regretting it immediately when he realized how close to Aelin he was. The smell of her spice and vanilla perfume him and if he would have been standing, he would have fallen to his knees. “You have to have the last word. It’s impossible to win an argument with you.”

“Some people would call that tenacity,” she said, bringing her legs up and tucking them beneath her.

Rowan’s fingers squeezed gently. “Most people would call that stubborn.”

Aelin tossed her head back and laughed and Rowan was powerless to stop himself from leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

As soon as his lips left her skin and he’d realized what he’d done, his eyes went wide.

Aelin only hesitated for a moment before lifting a beautifully sculpted brow. “What was that for?”

“There has to be a reason?” He meant for it to come out as a snarky remark, to match her tone, but it came out nothing more than a whisper.

Aelin slowly shook her head. “No, there doesn’t have to be a reason.”

Rowan took a moment to try and figure out what that statement meant. Was it an invitation? Something cordial to let him know that kissing her cheek was okay? Did it mean that she wanted something more?

The two fell back into silence and as the movie played, Rowan continued to ponder Aelin’s reaction to his kiss. He was just about to clear his throat and apologize when lithe fingers and manicured nails finger-combed through his hair.

He nearly purred.

Rowan leaned into her touch and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Aelin move closer as well. He didn’t want to do anything to stop her, didn't want to say anything that would result in her stopping the way she was lightly scratching at his scalp, but he also wasn’t completely positive he wasn’t dreaming.

A thousand emotions rushed him, lust nearing the top of the list. He tried not to let it show, but was certain he was failing as his eyes fluttered shut one more time.

“Feel good?” She breathed.

He made a contented noise, somewhere between a moan and a sigh, and settled deeper into the cushions. With a breathy chuckle, she ran her fingers through the front and brushed the stray strands out of his face. He cracked one of his eyes open and looked at her through a heavy lid.

With his pine green gaze on her, Aelin’s cheeks heated. “What?”

He gently shook his head, but continued looking at her, taking her in. “What's on your mind?”

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Nothing.”

“Liar,” he said, with a grin. 

“Nothing important,” she corrected, her fingers still working their magic.

Rowan watched her for a second before repeating, “Liar.”

“Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?” She asked, turning the tables on him.

He was quiet for a minute more before he admitted, “I was thinking about how different my night is going than I planned.”

She asked, “Yeah?”

He nodded. “See, I was planning on coming home, downing a beer or two, and passing out.” The smirk he tried to hide broke through. “Instead I find you, dancing around my house, baking cookies and just being all around cheery.”

“Are you complaining?” Aelin asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Not at all,” he replied. “I’m the luckiest guy in Orynth.”

She rolled her eyes, even though her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. “You're full of shit.”

“No, I’m not,” he said, slowly shaking his head. “I mean it.”

Aelin couldn’t hide the smile that grew on her face and when she turned to Rowan, she found a similar smile on his own. The hand in his hair drifted down, a thumb brushing over his cheekbone

“Can I kiss you?” Rowan asked, not letting himself think of the irreparable damage he could be doing on their friendship.

With a smirk, Aelin said, “I thought you already did.”

Rowan hesitated before letting out a breathy laugh. “Well, then can I kiss you agai-.”

Before he could finish, Aelin had leaned toward him, and put her lips on his.

That hand on her though tightened and her other hand framed the side of his face, and Rowan Whitethorn forgot how to breathe as he kissed Aelin.

When they finally pulled apart, both beaming at each other, Rowan wrapped an arm around her and they settled onto the couch.

“I hope you have a pretty good present for me tomorrow,” Aelin said with a grin.

Rowan laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t bother to tell her that no present would ever compare to this night, she was present enough.

[7spaceace7]

Ego Holiday Headcanons- The Return!

So last year I made a post about a bunch of ego headcanons for the holidays that got VERY popular (I don’t know how but I love you all, and I still read all the tags that get reblogged!!) and I wanted to make some more! This list is not as long as the other, but here’s just some random tidbits I thought of today! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and have a good rest of your Dec. 25th to those who don’t celebrate!!

-Out of the Septic Egos, Chase singlehandedly carries the tradition of Santa Claus for the whole house

-He’s doing a lot better these recent years :)

-Jackie, Robbie, and JJ all genuinely believe that he exists the most, followed by the reluctant Marvin who says he doesn’t believe, but does “just in case”

-Anti pretends he doesn’t and calls it stupid, but secretly he still wants to believe

-(he doesn’t wanna admit it because he knows if he does, he’d just coal in his stocking, poor guy doesn’t think he deserves presents)

-Chase goes through GREAT lengths to keep this alive tho!

-This includes a very detailed Santa costume for Christmas Eve, the mandatory cookies for Santa and carrot for the reindeer, and CONSTANT reminders to be on the best behavior

-Surprisingly, this is more for Marvin than the glitch

-Chase is a huge help to Schneep because if anyone starts fighting or getting huffy (or bringing knives to the disagreement) Chase just has to give a stern look and a quiet “Guess I’ll just have to tell Santa about this” and BAM instant cooperation

-Henrik is forever grateful

-Speaking of the German man, he tries to include some German holiday traditions and is a wonderful cook when it comes to his traditional foods

-JJ especially loves learning more about his culture and how their holidays differ from his own

-(on that note, the egos still don’t understand the oranges in their stockings from the mute man, but he looks happy about it)

-Once Shawn Flynn joined the ego household, he was instantly recruited by Chase for his Santa mission

-They decide that Chase will do all the preparations and getting people into holiday spirit while Shawn is Santa

-Shawn may have gotten a lil emotional because it reminded him of when he used to secretly “mess up” toys to give the disadvantaged kids back in his day

-He is a wonderful Santa

-Christmas morning comes and EVERYONE goes nuts

-Henrik is woken up to Robbie jumping on his bed because they can’t open presents until everyone is awake

-*several mutterings in German*

-Pretends he can’t speak English until he has his coffee

-Everything is going great, all of the egos got something from ‘Santa’ and it’s the best thing ever, everyone’s laughing and just having a ball

-Cue Chase teaching Shawn to fistbump in the background

-However, Anti’s off to the side, looking down with a scowl

-Chase notices when he looks over and sees him discreetly rubbing his eyes

-Dad Mode(tm) Activates

-but before he can get over there, Robbie comes up to him with a present and a big ol grin

-It’s from Santa to Anti, and the poor glitchy boy nearly breaks down

-Well, he does, but the others promise never to tell a soul

-(ESPECIALLY not that fucker Dark!)

-All in all, it’s just a very sweet, emotional, and rambunctious Christmas Day with the Septics, as it always should be

[shinonometrash]

💕🍄The 12 Days of Ayumu 🍄💕

July 15th, Day 10 of Ayumu’s Birthday Celebration Countdown!!

And today we’re finishing up the Peach Fanclub booklets!! After that, I’m excited for y’all to see Ayumu’s birthday eve and Ayumu’s birthday day posts, they’re some pretty big items!!!!!

Diary Entry: December 9

A case of peach nectar got bought. It seems the store was running a campaign where if you buy one case of peach nectar then you get a free key holder. She specifically bought it with no intentions of drinking them herself.

But, it’s not that she’s going to give me the entire case, either. Instead, she’s going to bring me one everyday...gross. She went on about things like how it makes her happy just to come hand deliver me things and whatnot, but that was just an extra hassle to come up with. What’s the point of making up excuses to come see me when she should normally see me anyway? Ah, well, I guess it’s hard to deny that I have that habit as well...But I get that it would be nice to be told honestly that you wanted to see me. Even with the relationship ban, we work in the same department, so it wouldn’t be that strange to say.

As for the key holder, I put it in my desk. In an office full of sharp sighted people, who knows what they’d say if they saw it. Just thinking about it makes me feel down. 

But, even though it’s for something so trivial, she still thought of me while she was going about her day...is it trivial? I feel like her way of thinking is starting to rub off on me as well. ...but regardless, let’s get in contact this weekend so that we can go buy some peach nectar.

Diary Entry: December 14

It’s cold. Lately all I’ve been doing is staring at my computer screen so I haven’t really gotten to experience much of the season, but it is definitely winter. I keep forgetting that when I’m working. But, since there’s two people close to me who are very noisy about the festivities, I too am able to enjoy the different seasons.

The other day her and I went out. While we were in the middle of the city, we ended up seeing the shimmering lights. They were pretty. I guess you could say it was interesting. Even though we were on an authentic Christmas date, her feet just naturally headed in that direction. Honestly, I think it’s cute. I’m not going to tell her that though, cause she’ll get carried away. When I’m with her, things that I would usually have no interest in don’t seem too bad anymore.

I hope next year we can go out and do a lot of things together like we did this year. If we’re able to take a break, I’d like to go traveling, too.

Shinonome Draws Public Safety

After telling Shinonome that the people themselves would never see the pictures he draws, we had him draw everyone from Public Safety!

Goto

Am I dead?? -Goto

Wow, Goto really is my angel after all! -Kurosawa

It seems that Ayumu views him that way too -Soma

The hell is this? -Kaga

Hyogo

You’ve got guts -Kaga

I was completely unprepared, I didn’t expect to see something like this~  -Namba

And I thought the portrait of me was bad -Goto

Spitting image, you captured him perfectly -Ishigami

Ishigami

Spitting image, isn’t it? - Kaga

Hey, what happened to my eyes? - Ishigami

What’s that thing next to him? - Soma

Isn’t that pudding? - Tsugaru

Soma

Oh...? -Soma

lmaooooooooo -Tsugaru

So that’s what you think of him~ -Namba

Such a cute devil⭒ -Kurosawa

Chief

Is my beard really that dark? -Namba

This portrait is much better than the others -Goto

So you have the nerve to draw the chief seriously but none of the rest of us I see -Kaga

How unexpectedly cowardly of him, isn’t that cute? -Tsugaru

Toru

Looks just like him -Kaga

You really captured him perfectly -Soma

It’s perfect -Goto

Looks identical to Kurosawa -Ishigami

You drew his personality very well -Namba

Well done -Tsugaru

Hey, wait!! I don’t make this kind of disturbing psychopathic face!! -Kurosawa

Tsugaru and Momose

Is that a mole? -Tsugaru

Huh, that’s neat. It’s got its own identity. - Kaga

Momose looks possessed by a demon -Ishigami

Hey, be nice, call him a guardian spirit~ -Namba

Message For You

Seems we’re already at the end. So, how was it? Did you enjoy it?

I hope it met your expectations. For me, it surprisingly wasn’t too bad... Even now I still don’t really think I’m suited to be first place, though. But this...since it was your votes that made me first place, feels special. 

Thank you for giving me the chance to make so many special memories.

...dummy, I’m not being bashful. Let’s keep taking care of each other from now on.

brb just crying, I miss my mushroom boy so much TT he’s so Good!! TT

Thank you to @world-a-to-z​ for screenshots of the booklets!

Stay tuned for more Ayumu content in the upcoming days! You’ll find links to all the posted content here!

[def-initely-soul]

house rules {2}

pairing: jimin x reader (f.)

genre: fluff; angst; roommates au; kinda new girl au; smut; f2l au

rating: explicit

warnings: sexual content; mention of emotional abuse; mention of manipulative relationship; mention of body issues; explicit smut

words: 19.6k

summary:

↠ {living with two guys has always its pros and cons. Pros being someone will always get you popcorn for your midnight cravings. Cons being you might like one of them…?} ↞

or alternatively, the shenanigans of five friends, where two of them are in a loving relationship, one is Kim Seokjin and the other two don’t know what the fuck they’re doing

.

.

Next morning, on Christmas eve, you try to be as nonchalant as you can. Thankfully your walls are thick enough so no one took notice of your late-night shenanigans and what happened between you before Hoseok’s interruption was barely anything out of the ordinary.

Thankfully you get yourself distracted with the preparations for this evening. Every year the five of you plan a traditional Christmas dinner, idea courtesy of Hoseok’s and Seokjin’s minds, where every single one of you was assigned to different tasks.

Seokjin is in charge of the roasted turkey, as he is every year, Hoseok will cook his famous vanilla-roasted sweet potatoes, Jimin will prepare a cauliflower soup and Ana is always in charge of the desert. This year choosing the recipe of a Buche de Noel.

You’re left with the simple task of making smooth mashed potatoes and bringing the booze.

Even though simpler than what others have to do, it gives you time to be alone and focus on something else other than Jimin. Whether you’re cooking or going to the store to pick up the alcohol, your time is productively filled with anything other than thoughts of him.

You take a nap around midday, leaving the kitchen free for the guys to use. Taking a hold of this opportunity to stay clear of Jimin’s gaze. You make sure your interactions are limited between the lines of what is only necessary, even when the preparations are done and you sit around the table.

Ana and Seokjin arrive together, the turkey the size of a small TV, which Seokjin himself puts on the table. Not letting anyone else help him or carve it, flashbacks of last year when Jimin tried to carve it and nearly dropped it still etched to everyone’s memory.

You help Ana move the desert to the fridge for later, and as all of you take your places at the dinner table, you feel a particular set of eyes on you.

Thankfully you don’t sit next to him so you don’t have any one-on-one conversation like you do with Seokjin sitting to your right. You only talk to him when the conversation involves the whole group and that’s only to not alert anyone that something is off.

Your mind is swarmed with memories of Jimin’s look. With the way he’s looking at you now.

You ignore it in favour of talking to Ana at the end of the table as she rumbles excitedly about the party next week. You immerse yourself in that conversation, going lightly over some details and pouring another glass of wine as Seokjin passionately joins you.

Although, even if you’re engrossed to something else you can’t help but notice one thing. 

He never mentions Dinah.

And that gives you magnificent, dreadful hope.

.

.

It’s New Year's Eve, and you’re in an awfully good mood.

The party is in full bloom, the essence of joy and excitement wafting through the air, people dancing their worries away and laughing under the neon-lights (Ana really went all-in in the decoration department), having fun in what can only be a fitting welcome for a bright New Year.

The mulled wine has gotten slightly into you, landing you in that perfect spot between sober and tipsy, just enough to elevate your already high spirits. Besides you’re also celebrating finally finishing your book. It’s been a bitch of a struggle but finally, you’ve gone and did it. Finally booking an appointment with a publishing company that took an interest in you after reading one of your drafts you’ve previously sent them.

And well. Dinah isn’t here.

“I cannot believe I’m talking to the next Stephen King!” Hoseok yaps excitedly, throwing an arm around your shoulder, voice raised higher than normal due to the several “old-fashioned” he managed to throw back.

You grunt from the sudden weight as he leans a bit too much on your side to stand up. “Okay, step it down a notch, buddy,” you chuckle, patting him on the shoulder.

He thinks it over before-. “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

Your eyes widen, an involuntary laugh escaping you. “I said step it down a notch, not climb the whole mcfreakin ladder?” Hoseok giggles happily, before his eyes rest on the hostess, who’s currently talking to a coworker, gleeful smile in full bloom.

He waves at you to lean closer to him and you oblige. “See that girl over there?” he whispers to you conspiratory, pointing at Ana who seems oblivious to your conversation. You chuckle at his drunk antics but decide to appease him and nod.

A blissful smile takes over his lips. “Imma marry her someday.”

You barely keep your smile at bay. Honestly, Hoseok is whipped for Ana and anyone who doesn’t see that is blind, so it doesn’t sound weird coming from him. You’re willing to bet his wish is gonna come true someday. It’s just a matter of time.

Though you’re happy for your friends, you can’t let this teasing opportunity pass you by.

“Hey, champ, I got some bad news for you…” you press your lips together in mock-sadness and Hoseok’s face falls.

“She has a boyfriend,” you deliver the final blow and his eyes widen. Before he bursts into tears.

At least a couple of people stare at you, as Hoseok bawls his eyes out and you can’t stop cackling. Oh, god, you didn’t know he was this drunk, he was perfectly fine moments ago! Although to be perfectly candid, he has a low alcohol tolerance, so really this one is on you.

Ana shows up after a few seconds, worry etched into her features after seeing her boyfriend cry like a baby. “What happened? Are you okay?” she asks him, obviously more sober than him, but once she sees you laughing, her eyes narrow. “What did you do to him?”

You shrug, your expression being the poster-child for innocence. “Nothing! I just told him you have a boyfriend.”

This sends another wave of tears down Hoseok’s cheeks and Ana laughs incredulously. 

“Is it true? Do you have a boyfriend” Hoseok struggles to ask through his hiccups and Ana can’t repress the lovesick smile on her lips.

“Yes and he’s a giant baby.”

“Does that mean I still have a chance?”

Ana chuckles before pressing a kiss on Hoseok’s pouty lips. “It’s you, you dufus! Now, come on, let’s get you to lay down…”

“Really?” he says with the most childlike smile you’ve ever seen on him. And only seconds later it turns into a smirk. "Oh, I will lay down, I will lay down so hard that you-” he struggles to complete his sentence, “that you’ll want to lay down with me…”

You groan out loud, not ready for the scene to turn into an NSFW one. “Are you horny all the time?” you complain out loud and the couple raises their brows at you.

“...Already know the answer to that one. Thank you very much five years of living together!” you admit regrettably and Ana tsks you.

“Serves you right for having the nerve to terrorize the sun himself!”

“That’s me!” Hoseok points to himself with a proud smile and you press your lips together to stop the giggles from escaping as Ana rolls her eyes fondly at her boyfriend.

“I’ll get him to my room-” Hoseok finger guns her, winks and blows her a kiss, “could you please make him some coffee?” Ana pleads you as she struggles to push a drunk Hoseok down the hall.

“You got it, babe! I’m gonna roast this coffee so bad, it’s gonna go running to its momma!” you announce in the spur of the moment, but Ana just looks at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“Doesn’t work for me, does it?” Ana just shakes her head and you huff. “I’ll go get the coffee…”

You drive through the crowd, barely avoiding the drinks spilling left and right and finally reach the kitchen. Thankfully there’s only like a couple of people around, so you reach for the french press easily, adding the coffee grounds and warming some water in the microwave.

“Why on earth are you having coffee with so much alcohol around and why does that weirdly make sense for you?” Jimin enters your vision, resting his hip on the counter in a mirror of your stance and you have to take a breath.

His dark blue hair is slicked back, revealing the magnificence of his eyebrows (yeap, that’s another spot of Jimin you’re weak about). He’s dressed in all black; black jeans, black T-shirt with an open neckline, a leather belt hugging closely at his hips, a dangly earring gracing his earlobe and a silver chain resting against his glistening collarbones. He has been dancing and all you wanna do is dive in and bite at the skin of his neck, glinting welcoming under the dimmed lights.

Focus.

“Give me a break, it’s not even for me…” you joke back, just in time to cover up your little zone-out. Jimin stares back confused.

“Who then-?” he makes a sound of realization before he chuckles. “Hoseok,” he responds and you nod, a giggle already on your lips.

After Christmas eve, when you refused to even speak to him, things became less weird. It seems like the two days you spent actively avoiding each other helped in restoring the dynamics back to normality. You’re not even sure who made the first move but after a few days, you were back to normal, as if that thing on the couch never happened.

Maybe it is for the best to pretend it never happened. No feelings are going to get hurt this way.

“Yeap, Ana took him back to her bedroom,” you reply, moving to pour the water into the french press.

Jimin raises an unconvinced eyebrow as he hands you a mug. “And are you sure they’re not gonna fuck back there?”

You take the mug with an appreciative nod. “Honestly, they’re probably fucking right now on their way there. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. Maybe I’ll be scarred for the rest of my life walking into that and maybe I won’t.”

“And you’ll take those chances?” Jimin chuckles incredulously and you almost swoon at the way his smile lights up the room.

“This coffee won’t deliver itself!” you joke and Jimin’s smile turns bigger.

“Your service is greatly appreciated!” he says with an awful British accent and proceeds to laugh.

“Well, thank you good sir!” you play into it with a curtsy and both of you burst into happy, slightly intoxicated giggles.

Your eyes rest on the french press as the coffee grounds seep into the water and it’s like your lips have a mind of their own when they ask the following question.

“So, alone tonight?” you ask with fake nonchalance and you swear Jimin tenses.

You can’t help yourself. From the moment you realized Dinah was absent you wanted to know why. They’ve been dating for almost a month, so that means they’d still be all over each other, you figured they’d want to spend New Year's together.

So how come Dinah isn’t here?

Jimin nods, eyes absentmindedly following your fingers as they trace the marble counter.

“What happened to Dinah? Didn’t want to spend New Years with our ugly asses?” you joke, hoping to lift the tension off his shoulders and rejoice when Jimin cracks a smile.

“No, no. Actually, her friends are throwing a party too…” he simply says, not giving you another explanation even though something else clearly bothers him. You don’t ask further, figuring he’ll tell you if he wants to, so you move to press the plunger down and pour the brown liquid into the cup Jimin handed you earlier.

“And I actually didn’t …” he hesitates, biting his bottom lip.

God, this is straight-up torture.

“Didn’t…?” you urge him on, sensing his desire to say whatever’s bothering him.

He takes a breath.

“Didn’t have the need to invite her…?” he admits, eyes on the steaming cup of coffee, struggling to put his thoughts into words as you stare at him utterly confused. He didn’t have the need to invite her? Like, he didn’t care if she was here?

No, Y/N, don’t get your hopes up.

Jimin huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean.. I didn’t want to.”

And you find him staring at you again, with those intense, magnetic eyes and your breath is sucked out of your lungs.

He didn’t want to invite her. Why? What does it mean? Why did he do it?

And why is he looking at you like that?

Did he-?

“Surprise!” a familiar female voice echoes through the kitchen as Dinah throws herself literally against Jimin, hugging his waist with an excited smile. No concern in her eyes over your panicked faces.

You don’t know if she heard your conversation but if she did, she doesn’t show it.

Jimin’s wide, panicked eyes travel between you and Dinah. “Dinah, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending New Year’s at Minoh’s?” he turns around to bring her forward and the intimacy hiding in the domestic action drives a knife through your chest.

“That party was boring as hell. And I missed you,” she says with a blinding smile and leans in to press a soft kiss on Jimin’s lips, ripping your heart in two.

You can’t stand this. You can’t stand to watch as she kisses him right in front of you and you feel like an outsider, glimpsing at something you long for but can’t have. Is it always gonna be this hard?

You swallow the lump in your throat, gripping the cup tighter and force a smile on your lips just in time for the couple to miss your crestfallen expression.

It’s time to get out of here.

“That’s great! You��re just in time to spend New Year’s together!” you exclaim with forceful enthusiasm and Dinah nods excitedly as Jimin looks at you with an indecipherable expression. “You’ll have to excuse me, I have to deliver this bad boy!” you smile, pointing at the mug and you start walking away, already waiting for the moment you don’t have to keep that smile on your face any longer.

That seems to wake Jimin up as his eyes widen. “Wait, Y/N, I didn’t-”

“Have fun at the party!” you interrupt him, keeping the smile on for a little longer, before you turn your back at them, smile disappearing, steps fast as you miss Jimin’s face filled with despair.

.

.

Your steps bring you back to the living room, already having delivered the coffee to Ana’s room. Although Jimin’s suspicions were correct and you walked into a scene you’d rather forget, closing your eyes to avoid any more damage on your retina, resulting in you leaving the couple with a half-spilt coffee.

Not that they’ll be needing it now anyway.

Stepping into the main area of the party you can’t help the sour mood that takes over you, watching everyone have a good time. You were also having a good time until Dinah arrived.

Which reminds you. What did Jimin mean back then? Was it just stupid you with your tendency to read way too much into things or did he actually mean what you wanted him to?

And if he did, why is he still dancing with her?

Your eyes are stuck to the couple in question, dancing in the middle of the living room as a mid-tempo dance track plays through the speakers, Dinah’s hands wrapped around Jimin’s waist as he sways her softly to the beat.

The night started out so well. You were having fun, for once all worries put aside as you didn’t have to think about the book or Dinah, or Jimin. You were happy.

But then someone decided to shit all over that happiness and you were back to the beginning. Having your heart broken by your best friend and he doesn’t even know.

You take a breath to calm the erratic beating of your cracking heart when you see a too familiar face emerging from the kitchen.

Oh no, what is Jaehyun doing here?

You move quickly, dreading to talk to him, hoping he won’t see you but, alas, luck was never on your side.

His eyes spot you all the way across the room, with numerous people in between like he has laser vision or something. A smile takes over his lips as he waves at you and begins walking towards you.

God, no. No, you can’t deal with him right now. He’ll probably want another date and you know he deserves to know the truth but you just can’t do it right now.

You’re quick to move to the balcony, trying to lose him through the crown but his voice keeps calling you even outside. You slip through the people and into the living room, stopping to see him briefly lose you as his eyes scan the balcony.

You escape into the kitchen, hoping he won’t look for you here and in your hastiness to hide, you fall face-first into Seokjin’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry, you need to move!” you say urgently, trying to hide behind the massive wall he calls his shoulders.

Seokjin regards you with a suspicious glare. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to hide from Jaehyun!” you bite through gritted teeth as your eyes scan the open area behind you. With relief you realise Jaehyun isn’t anywhere near, just a bunch of other people and Jimin talking with Dinah and Hoseok.

Your heart still clenches uncomfortably when Seokjin interrupts your thoughts.

“Why are you hiding from Jaehyun? Didn’t the date go well?” he asks you purely confused and with guilt, you realize you never told him nor Ana that you bailed.

You bite your lip. “I didn’t go…”

Seokjin’s eyes widen comically. “What?! Why?! I thought you wanted to!”

You groan rubbing your palm on your face. “I just… didn’t feel like it anymore! And now he’s here, looking for me and I don’t know what to do! Who invited him anyway?”

At that Seokjin has the decency to look guilty. “I may have seen him at the coffee shop and invited him… But in my defence I didn’t even know you bailed on him!” he looks at you with a scolding glare and another groan leaves your lips.

“Oh, shit here he comes…” Seokjin looks carefully behind you and you steal a glance to indeed see Jaehyun stepping into the living room and walking straight towards you.

“Okay, fuck, let me think…” you mumble in thought when you see something on the ceiling, hanging just a few centimetres behind Seokjin.

“Got it!” you exclaim, and when Seokjin doesn’t follow, you push him back so both of you stand right beneath the thing hanging from the ceiling and then you point at it, knowing he’ll catch the drift.

Seokjin’s eyes follow your fingers, only to widen in horror when they rest at what you're pointing at.

Mistletoe.

“No! No, no, no, I’m not kissing you so you can get rid of him!” he hisses, eyes swimming in denial and disbelief. But you narrow your eyes at him.

“It’s your fault he’s here! So step the fuck up Kyle!” you hiss back and Seokjin looks less than thrilled.

“Don’t quote vines to me, you heathen, I won’t hesitate bitch!” he responds and you know you’re halfway winning him over.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this…” you reply, mastering the perfect puppy eyes.

The sound of his favourite vine has him yielding in a matter of seconds, choking back a laugh before he rolls his eyes. “Fine. But we gotta hurry up, he’s almost here,” Seokjin relents, eyes falling behind you.

“Buckle up,” is the only thing you say before grasping Seokjin’s panicked face and press your mouths together.

You stay like that for a few seconds, simply pressing your lips together like an awful K-drama kiss though there’s no romantic music playing in the background. The kiss is at its best… underwhelming. That’s what you were lusting after all those years? It certainly doesn’t live up to the expectations.

You lean back, staring at Seokjin who barely manages to conceal his weirded out face. “Is he gone?” you whisper and Seokjin nods in relief.

“Yes, he’s gone…” he mumbles, letting out a breath as you let his face free and take a step back, finally breathing freely.

“Don’t ever do that again!” he exclaims, his words followed by a loud gagging noise.

“Anything for you Beyonce!” you say, sharing the sentiment and you grab a random shot glass on the counter, to wash out the feeling of Seokjin’s clumsy mouth on yours.

“We don’t tell anyone. We take this to the grave and live the rest of our lives feeling slightly awkward with each other. Sounds good?” Seokjin states with wide eyes and you laugh at his seriousness.

“Ay, ay, captain! Now take a shot with me to erase the memory for good!” you say, filling two glasses with tequila and you hand him one.

“To forgetting this ever happened!” he raises his shot and you follow his movements before downing the contents of the glass.

“Amen to that.”

.

.

Half an hour later, its time for the countdown so the New Year can officially begin.

The automatic clock on Ana’s TV screen reads 23:59:03 and you rush to gather your friends together in one place, so the New Year can find all five of you together as it has for the last four years.

The rest of the attendees also gather in groups; friends, couples, coworkers, newly made acquaintances but all shimmering with the vibrating delight to welcome the New Year and the opportunities that are bound to come.

Ana and Hoseok are already counting down the numbers - admittedly a bit too early -, and Seokjin passes you four tequila shots to celebrate once the clock strikes midnight. But then he’s left with an extra one and realization strucks you.

“Hey, where’s Jimin? He’s supposed to be here!” you yell to be heard amidst the loud chattering of the crowd, but your question remains unanswered when Seokjin shrugs his shoulders in loss.

Ana looks around to find said-man but it’s Hoseok that finally puts an end to the mystery. “Uh, actually he went home!”

Your eyebrows furrow, confusion apparent in your eyes. He’s never missed out on this! How could he leave? You always spent New Year’s together, the five of you, it was your unique tradition, one you’ve expected him to keep up with.

Maybe he was feeling a bit under the weather, you try to reason with yourself. Let’s not get mad at him before knowing the whole story.

“Wait, so he left without telling anyone? Is he okay? Did he even tell Dinah he’d leave?” you question back, aware of Ana & Seokjin’s wary gazes but you don’t bother to acknowledge them.

Thankfully, Hoseok still isn’t entirely sober to notice them either and start asking questions.

He just shakes his head at you. “Oh, no, they both left. Oh, the countdown’s started!”

As people begin shouting along with the voice on the TV you can’t help but stare aimlessly into space.

They both left. Jimin ditched you, all four of you to spend New Year’s with Dinah. Alone.

And it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

It shouldn’t feel as much as a personal attack but it does. He left all four of you but it still feels like he specifically left you behind. As if he doesn’t care anymore. Before all that the chance of the two of you ever happening was abysmal. But it was still there, however small. You were fine with that cause at least you knew he valued you as a friend.

Now, you’re not even sure of that anymore.

You should be fine with him leaving. You’re just his friend.

And yet the heartbreak is overbearing.

Seokjin looks at you carefully as Hoseok keeps counting down to one, entirely unaware of what just happened as Ana counts with him but her eyes are on you.

You give her and Seokjin a weak smile, before averting your eyes quickly to count as well, not bearing to see the looks of pity in their eyes.

You hate this.

The clock strikes midnight.

You’ve never felt more alone.

.

.

The next morning finds you exhausted when you wake up on Seokjin’s couch. You’re not sure you could handle going back to the apartment and having Dinah and Jimin across the hall from you. Hoseok was going to spend the night at Ana’s, meaning firstly he kinda gave Jimin the pass to run wild and secondly you couldn’t crash at Ana’s. Of course, she insisted it was okay but you didn’t want to cockblock her on New Year’s. So Seokjin offered his home as an alternative which you happily accepted.

You’re dreading to go back to your flat, though already knowing it’s an inevitable curse, you leave a note for Seokjin to find when he wakes up and then you leave his apartment.

On the way home, you wonder if you should trek over to the donut shop around the corner for some heavenly delicacies but then you’d have to buy Jimin and Dinah some. And that is simply something you’re not willing to do.

Hopefully, they’ll be both asleep when you arrive, too tired to be up at 10 am on New Year’s, so you’ll get your chance to quietly slip into your room and avoid everyone for the rest of the week.

Maybe even a month until those stupid feelings finally decide to disappear.

You try your best to be as soundless as possible when you unlock the front door. You enter the living room on your tiptoes, closing the door quietly behind you before moving to throw your coat on the hanger.

The moment you think you’re alone passes by quickly when you hear the door of the fridge being shut and immediately turn around to see Jimin staring at you with bleary eyes. His hair is a mess as he’s clad in a white T-shirt and grey sweatpants as his pjs, a cup of what must be steaming coffee on one hand as the other runs through his locks. You find yourself salivating.

“Where did you go this early in the morning?” his gruff voice comes out, purely confused and before you get to correct him, his eyes fall on your figure. And he realizes you’re still dressed the same as last night.

“Did you just get here?” he asks, his voice a tad too sharp and accusing to be considered friendly and your arms wrap around your middle protectively.

“Uh, yeah… I crashed at Seokjin’s… Too tired to come back after helping Ana clean up…” you joke, forcing a laugh to hopefully ease the sudden tension hanging in the air.

Though your airy laugh doesn’t reach Jimin. Instead, his eyes are fixed on the wall to his right, jaw tense in what seems almost as anger before he takes a quick sip of his coffee and slum the cup on the counter.

“Ugh… are you okay-?” your confusion is apparent in your voice as Jimin walks off the kitchen, down the hallway.

“I’m going back to sleep…” he mumbles through clenched teeth before he disappears inside his bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang.

You stare weirdly at his door, bewildered by his entire behaviour but you’re still too sleepy to let it get to you. So instead you opt for crawling over to your room and hide beneath the covers.

.

.

The days after New Year’s turn out weirder and weirder to the point of questioning your mental state.

Seokjin still feels somewhat awkward around you after the kiss but instead of avoiding you, as any normal human being would do, he actively seeks you out, clinging to you and following you around like a shadow, as if the over-exposure will help him get rid of the awkwardness faster.

True to your words, none of you have said anything about it to the others, so you were half waiting for everyone to be immediately weirded out by Seokjin’s sudden display of affection. But apart from Ana that gave you some scarce confused looks, the other two haven’t made a single comment, as if this is a completely normal situation. They barely blink when even yourself gets creeped out from Seokjin’s insistent coddling.

Which brings you to the other weird thing happening in the flat.

Jimin barely talks to you anymore.

You don’t have the slightest idea why. If you said something, or done something that offended him, you’re none the wiser. And how are you supposed to know when he barely greets you in the morning?

Every time you attempt conversation, there’s always something he has to do, which sounds completely ironic, given you were the one that kinda did the same before.

Not to cover your own ass but you did that for the sake of your friendship! If Jimin ever finds out you’re into him, you can’t bear to think the effect this might have on your friendship.

Whereas Jimin might as well be angry over such a small thing as you using his earbuds.

It wouldn’t have bothered you that much if it wasn’t for Dinah.

Well, she barely does anything, it's just that Jimin always goes to her when he has the chance. Nights spent with all five of you together munching on popcorn in front of the TV, turn into awkward gatherings as Ana and Hoseok pair up against you and Seokjin, leaving the two of you cringing whenever the couple does something too coupley.

At New Year’s Eve, he practically admitted he wasn’t that much into her anymore and now he’s always with her. Did he lie back then? And if so why?

Everything is wrong and you don’t know how to fix it.

If only Jimin hadn’t begun dating Dinah, none of this would’ve happened. You wouldn’t have realised you liked him, he wouldn’t have spent so much time with her, he wouldn’t abandon the four of you for her.

Although, a small part of you screams you would’ve realised you liked Jimin either way. It wasn’t about Dinah.

And yet you can’t help the loathing that emerges like bile in your throat when you hear her name.

Or when Jimin, after two weeks of avoiding the rest of you, announces you are to throw a dinner so you can get to know her better.

You feel the headache splitting your skull open.

.

.

It’s nearly impossible to hide your sour mood once Dinah steps into the apartment.

A switch has flipped and where there was a smile from joking around with Ana, now there’s a permanent scowl on your face as you refuse to even acknowledge the newcomer, as she greets the rest of your friends.

Once she says hello to you too, you mumble something that resembles a greeting, not even bothering to look at her direction, as Ana regards you with a warning glare.

Deep down you know most of your attitude comes from Jimin’s behaviour these last couple of days, and Dinah’s direct contribution is only at roughly 10%. But you’re stubborn, immature and putting the blame on her seems like an easy way to cope with the situation and the hurricane of feelings swirling in your mind.

No one said it’s the right one. But for now, it’s what keeps you from hiding in your bedroom and wallowing in self-pity. Not that you won’t do that later.

You result in setting the table with Hoseok in silence, not really in the mood to talk, as everyone else sits in the living room and you catch glimpses of their conversation.

Seokjin and Ana talk about a new addition Seokjin wants to put on the menu of his restaurant, while Jimin and Dinah dally on the other side of the room.

You think you’re gonna barf.

“Ugh… Y/N are you okay?”

You turn around at the voice, surprised to see Hoseok stare at you with confused and worried eyes. Shit, did he sniff out something?

“Ah, yes! Why?” you put forward your most cheery voice in the hopes it will throw him off.

“‘Cause you keep stabbing the meat with the forks…” he comments carefully, leaning a bit backwards as his worry grows, once your confused eyes meet his.

And then you look back to the meat and, surely, all the forks you were supposed to pass around the table are stabbed into the steaks on the centre of the table.

Your eyes widen as you press your lips together in horror. God, why can’t you just behave for once?

You rush to remove all the utensils, dumping them into the sink and you pick out new ones, as Hoseok keeps staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m fine!” you respond with a clipped voice and you’re not sure what Hoseok hears in your voice but he drops it, in favour of placing the napkins around the table. Though you can still feel his weirded-out stare from time to time.

Once the table is set, Hoseok calls for everyone to gather around and one by one flock to their seats.

And as you put the finishing touches, you can’t help but hear Jimin’s conversation with Dinah.

“We have ice cream for dessert, you’re gonna love this one, it’s heavenly!” he says with excitement.

“Oh, only if it’s vegan, me and regular milk don’t go along…” she jokes and as Jimin says he’ll have someone check, an idea pops into your head. A petty, childish idea but it gives you some purpose for now.

So, she’s lactose intolerant? It would surely be a shame if she were to eat normal ice cream.

And by “shame” you mean hilarious.

The little voice in the back of your head berates you for acting so immature but at this moment you desperately need this. You can be salty for one evening.

What’s the harm?

.

.

Once everyone’s plates are empty, the lot of you migrate to the living room, as you stay in the kitchen to get the ice cream out of the freezer.

Jimin told Ana to ask you to check for the ice cream some time ago, -can you believe it, he didn’t even ask you! He had to talk to Ana for god’s sake-, and you did. But just as you’d suspected it wasn’t vegan.

So your plan is good to go.

You have Seokjin help you carry the bowls of ice cream to the living room and you pass each one around as they’re expected with excited noises.

Ana almost moans at the delicious flavour and Hoseok chuckles at his girlfriend’s antics as you sit next to Seokjin and dive straight into your own bowl.

During dinner it seemed everyone got along just fine with Dinah, talking and joking together as if she’s been a part of this group for a long time. And it bothers you even more.

You also recognize her attempts to get close to you as well but really you can’t be bothered. It comes to the point where she talked to you and all you did is give her a one-word answer before turning your attention somewhere else.

Though right at this moment your attention is solely on her as she takes a scoop out of her ice cream.

“Mmm, it’s really good!” she says excitedly to a smiling Jimin, as she swoops in for another spoon.

But after a few seconds, her eyebrows scrunch in confusion, as she keeps the ice cream in her mouth, looking as if she’s trying to figure out something. You can barely contain your gloating.

“Uhm, this ice cream is vegan right?” she rushes to say, eyes growing just a bit wider with what seems like panic.

Ana turns to look at you and you answer with the most innocent look you can manage, acting like you just realised you didn’t.

“Oh, oops! I guess I forgot to check, sorry! Why, are you lactose intolerant?” you respond in the first complete sentence you’ve given her tonight, internally gloating at her misfortune.

She swallows, her eyes widen even more, traces of fear growing in them. “Ugh, no-”

What does she mean no?

“I’m allergic.”

At once every conversation ceases, all eyes resting on her, wide in shock.

Fuck.

Jimin is the first to react.

“What?! Shit. Are you okay, should we take you to a hospital?” he asks in panic, placing the ice cream as further away from her as he can while you’re left staring at her in horror.

“Well, since I can feel my tongue thwelling, I thay we thould,” she comments shaking, losing the ability to pronounce the letter “s” as more time passes.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you struggle to say, full of remorse, but no one seems to hear you as the situation goes haywire.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen!

Seokjin is immediately on his feet. “I’ll drive you there, you guys clean up here okay?” he commands urgently and as you feel the guilt overwhelming you, you stand up form your spot in an instant.

“I’ll come with!” your voice trembles as you reach for your bag while Jimin and Seokjin help Dinah out of the apartment hurriedly.

But as soon as you speak Jimin’s furious eyes are on you.

“I think you’ve done enough.”

And then he slams the door behind them.

You’re left staring at the piece of wood with trembling eyes, as Ana and Hoseok simply stare at you, Hoseok’s eyes wide in shock as yours while Ana’s are filled with disappointment.

You. Fucking. Idiot.

.

.

It’s almost four hours later when Jimin and Seokjin return, finding only Hoseok in the living room waiting for them as he asks them how it went.

But Jimin doesn’t bother answering him as he instead marches with loud, angry steps towards your room.

On the other side of the door, your nails are nearly non-existent from all the nervous thinking that has plagued your mind for the last few hours. Your texts to both of them asking how Dinah was, were left unanswered and you were left brewing in your own nerves.

Until the door opens and Jimin walks in.

You freeze in your spot once your eyes meet his and see the undecipherable expression on his face.

You only manage to mumble a guilt-ridden “hi” and he closes the door behind him as he closes his eyes and takes a deep, calming breath.

Although it seems to not do much.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!”

Your answer is immediate, full of regret. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Is she okay?” you ask, out of your wits with panic as you wait for him to answer.

He seems too tired, too exhausted as he responds. “They gave her an antihistamine, she’ll be fine,” he says with a sigh but then his eyes are full of rage as they rest on you again. “But do you realize what might have happened if we were a bit late?! She could have died!” he yells at you, voice full of unbridled outrage as his eyes grow even more with the passing of time and you feel smaller and smaller.

“I’m sorry!-” you repeat again, feeling incredibly awful with what you’ve done, “-I thought she was just lactose intolerant, not allergic!” you say in hopes of redeeming yourself even just a bit but maybe this wasn’t the right thing to say as it seems Jimin’s anger only grows.

“This isn’t the fucking point, Y/N!”, you flinch at the volume of his voice, “The point is you've been trying to sabotage this for weeks! You think I haven't seen the side-glances and the mocking giggles?! I fucking know you don’t like her but couldn’t you just pretend for my sake? Do you have to go to such lengths to let us all know you hate her?!” he spits at you with wild eyes and you fight the urge to wrap your arms around your frame.

“I didn’t poison her on purpose…” you mumble in explanation and your eyes stare at your feet, not daring to look at him, drowning in shame.

“No, but all the other things were!” he refutes with impatience, but then he sighs. His shoulders fall down but his jaw’s still clenched. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? I know what she did better than anyone, believe me, but people are allowed a second chance, and frankly, it’s not your place to decide if she deserves it or not. All I was asking of you was to be decent towards her because I was stupid enough to think you’re my friend above everything and you’d respect my wishes!” he confesses, face crest-fallen and what you once feared, -him looking like this because of you-, has finally come true. You can feel your eyes watering but you can do nothing to stop them.

“I am your friend!” you respond desperately with pleading eyes, trying to stop him from questioning how much he means to you. If only he knew exactly how much.

“Are you really?”, he questions back, “Because the rest of the guys are my friends too and they don’t have a problem with her. It’s just you! And if you can’t accept her and be happy for me then…” he stops, eyes falling on the floor, refusing to meet your gaze and you have an awful feeling blooming in the pit of your stomach.

“...Then we’re better off as just roommates,” he delivers the final blow.

You can’t believe your ears. There’s no way, no way.

You feel your throat closing up. “...You don’t mean that…” you mumble in denial, eyes blurry and voice almost breaking at the possibility of losing your best friend.

Jimin still refuses to look at you, his lips pursed as he shakes his head. “Yeah? And you said you’ll support me no matter what so I guess we both said things we don’t mean.”

“Or I guess that was just you,” he says in a final tone, eyes serious this time on you before he turns towards your door to leave your bedroom. To leave your life.

You can’t breathe.

“Jimin-” you manage to stutter out although you feel like choking. You can’t lose him, you simply can’t.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he snaps back but stops himself before saying anything else, pressing his lips together.

Then he takes another breath. He collects himself and before you manage to stop him, he closes the door on his way out with a loud bang.

And you can’t move. Your eyes simply stare at the door, refusing to let any tear drop and you purse your lips, feeling a mixture of stubbornness and sorrow.

He left. How could he? How could he push you aside for her?! You’ve been friends for a little more than five years now and he ruins your friendship because of her?! Her?!

You rush to lock the door behind him with blurry eyes, putting the blame on him as for now you need this to stay sane.

Tomorrow you’ll know that everything was your fault.

But for now, you choose to believe otherwise.

You step back from your door, crossing your arms on your chest in defiance.

“If he doesn’t want to be friends then we won’t be!” you exclaim in an attempt to salvage your broken ego but once those words are out of your mouth, once they finally feel real, you can’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

You have to cover your mouth to drown the sound of your sobs.

You can’t let him hear.

At that moment there’s a knock on your door, before “Y/N? It’s Seokjin, can I come in?”

His voice is quiet, calm, reminding you that he and Hoseok probably heard everything. You can’t deal with it. You can’t deal with any of it.

“Go away, Seokjin…” you mumble with a low voice in order to hide the fact you’re crying.

You hear him sighing. “Come one, at least talk to me-”

“Go away!” your voice is coarse as you yell back, for a second not realising it was you. You know you're gonna regret yelling at him later, but you just want to be alone.

There’s silence on the other side. Then the echoing steps of someone leaving.

And then you break down in the middle of your room.

Alone.

The only sound coming from your quiet sobs.

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Keep it together. Don’t lose focus now just because she looks like she’s about to cry.

It’s easier said than done, but Jimin manages to remain focused on what he came here to do. Even if it’s just barely.

He can’t go on like this. Maybe if you were happy for him and actually supported him, things would be different. But when you act like a spoiled baby that didn’t get her wish with no excuse whatsoever when you were supposed to be okay with Dinah… there’s not much he can do.

Not when your behaviour acts as a false beacon of hope. One he can’t afford to see. Otherwise, he might do something he can’t take back.

He’s got to be firm and decisive.

So he turns around to leave before he takes it all back.

“Jimin-” he hears the breaking in your voice, knowing how much this may weigh you down but all he can feel right now is unfairness. It’s unfair how he wants to move on but with one single word he finds his resolve crumbling.

You shouldn’t affect him this much.

“No, Y/N, you can’t just-!” he begins but stops himself. What was he about to say? Something he shouldn’t, probably.

Still, you stop talking. And you just stare at him, with disbelief written in your eyes. He avoids those in favour of staying true to his words.

There’s no saying what he’ll do if he meets them.

So, he simply leaves your bedroom.

Marching through the small distance between your door and his, he can see Hoseok and Seokjin, from the corner of his eyes, staring.

They probably heard everything.

He steps into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, needing some space. To calm down, to take a breath, to finally think about what he just did.

You looked like you were ready to break down at any moment.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been that harsh with you. Maybe he was a bit too hasty, too vengeful in making that decision.

Someone knocks on his door.

What if it’s you?

His steps can’t take him to his door any faster.

But it’s just Hoseok.

“... what?” he hears himself get defensive once he sees your door still closed shut behind the other man.

Hoseok stares at him with understanding. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Jimin…” he comments with a soft voice, always knowing how to approach Jimin when he’s angry, better than anyone.

Jimin sighs, still feeling stubborn but he knows by the end of what Hoseok has to say, he’ll almost certainly listen.

“... Let’s talk about it okay? I’m sure Y/N wants that too…” at those words Jimin swears he feels a small pinch of pain on his chest. He wishes they’re true.

“Seokjin is also gonna talk to her…”

But those words manage to bring his stubbornness back full force.

There’s a chuckle coming out of Jimin but none of it sounds happy.

“Of course he will…” he snaps at Hoseok, who bites his lip once he realises his mistake. “Yeah, Hoseok, I think I’ll pass,” the bitterness is evident in his words, not bothering to hide it from the one person that knows the cause of it.

Hoseok’s eyes widen once he realises Jimin is about to close the door on him. “Wait, Jimin, don’t-”

“Goodnight,” is what Jimin simply says before closing the door on his best friend.

.

.

He can’t be sure when everything began to change. He can’t place a finger on the exact moment his feelings had changed.

On the exact moment, he fell in love with you.

Was it the moment you walked through the door as a roommate applicant? He can’t be sure. But somewhere along the way, the feelings bloomed, outgrew everything he ever felt for anyone.

He just was a bit late at realizing it.

When he woke up after you slept together and his eyes rested on you as you slept, he felt a pain in the middle of his chest. But it didn’t feel like a regular pain, it felt like his heart was expanding like he was experiencing growing pains. Because while he stared at you, he realised there was nothing else he’d rather do. You looked so serene, so at peace sleeping next to him, he never wanted the moment to end.

And that’s how he realised.

Of course, he had to push his newly-found knowledge aside when he saw you nearly going into panic mode. Just because he felt like this, didn’t mean you did too.

So he hid those feelings, playing it cool for the sake of being your friend.

But this shit was difficult when he was surrounded by you twenty-four-seven.

Right before Seokjin’s birthday he had sworn he’d finally tell you. He thought that maybe, just maybe you’d like him back, or at least he’d get to have a weight lifted off his chest.

But then he saw you hugging Seokjin…

He wasn’t trying to spy on you or anything. He was just trying to reach the bathroom when he saw you wrapping your arms around Seokjin. Around the guy you had a crush on for the past few years. It was like a stab to his stomach, even more so when he knew you weren’t really into hugs and when you did hug someone, it usually meant a lot to you.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. He also couldn’t believe how much it hurt and how much he needed something to distract himself.

Or, rather, someone.

That’s how Dina came along.

He never intended to string her along this far though. At that night she was just a distraction, someone familiar who knew how to take care of him, despite everything that had transpired between them in the past.

But Dinah kept trying, kept fighting vigorously for that second chance and he couldn’t help but acknowledge how much she’d changed over the past year. So he let her back into his life, hoping that at least she’d help him forget about you.

And it worked for some time. Until that night.

Until the night you were supposed to go on a date with Seokjin and cancelled it because of him - he’s sure of it even if you vehemently denied it back then-. The night you were dressed on that tight, little, black dress, the one that reminded him of that night eight months ago and suddenly his mind was going haywire with thoughts, or rather, memories of you.

He swears he saw hunger in your eyes when his palm was on your thigh, scorching both of you at the connected spot and if it wasn’t for Hoseok’s interruption, he was sure he’d’ve lost control.

Jimin hates to admit it but that night he kept thinking of you, of your eyes, of your lips, of the way your thighs had fit around his waist back then, of the sound of his name falling from your lips as he touched himself, trying to drown his moans onto his pillow.

He couldn’t talk to you after that for a couple of days. Too ashamed, too embarrassed, too enamoured with you, he thought you’d be able to see right through him.

But once things got back to normal, they were ruined once more.

Dinah appeared at the worst of times at New Year’s. He was so close to letting you know how he feels, encouraged by your reaction when you ditched your date for him, which was another green light for him at the moment. But Dinah showed up and you were out of there before he even got a chance to explain.

Hoseok had found him then, drinking away his sorrows.

“And the worst of all is, she’s dating Seokjin, which I now realise makes me a big jerk and an awful friend as I keep trying to steal away his girlfriend,” Jimin mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

Hoseok seemed perplexed but that might have been from the near-alcohol-poisoning he just had before Dr. Ana “nursed” him back to health. “And remind me, how are you sure she’s dating Seokjin? They haven’t told us anything yet…”

Jimin stared into his drink, already sort of tipsy on alcohol and self-pity. “Saw ‘em huggin’...” he mumbled behind the glass. Hoseok had to do a double-take at that.

“What?” Hoseok responded in disbelief. “That’s it? Dude, I do that with Seokjin all the time, that doesn’t mean I’m dating him!”

Jimin sighed in annoyance. “It was more than that okay? There was this feeling to it! I could tell it wasn’t just a simple hug!” Jimin groaned as he rubbed his face with his hand.

Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friend. “Still you can never be sure by just a hug! Have you talked to her?”

“No, I tried to but Dinah came in and she left as soon as she saw her…” Jimin admitted and Hoseok almost laughed out loud at his friend’s idiocy.

“Bro, if that isn’t a sign to talk to her, then I’m not dating the most bomb person in the whole ass world.”

Jimin wasn’t impressed as he cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

Hoseok wasn’t deterred. “I can see you have an objection here and it’s a complete disgrace to Ana’s name, so Imma pound you to logic city later, you limp dick, but right now you need to talk to Y/N!” he concluded as he shoved Jimin out of his stool.

Jimin groaned as he stood up, but as his eyes fell to the bottom of his drink, he realised Hoseok was right. He should’ve talked to you first. Maybe he had misunderstood and there was nothing going on with Seokjin.

And right then as he saw you bumping into Seokjin, he figured it was a great opportunity to find out what was happening between the two of you from both parties involved.

But as his steps got him closer and closer, he saw you kiss him.

He froze. He couldn’t look, couldn’t bear, but still, his eyes stayed glued to the both of you as your arms circled around his neck to press him closer.

Jimin felt like vomiting.

He turned around right then and there and walked away. He needed to get out of there. He gave Dinah a half-assed apology as he also sent her on her merry way and he left for his apartment. He couldn’t even tell Hoseok why he was leaving the party, only announcing his departure and disappearing.

It was the first time in years he spent New Year’s alone.

He hated it.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’ve done the worst sleep in ages.

You rub your eyes, immediately regretting it when the slightest touch has them stinging from how swollen they are from all the crying.

Right. It wasn’t just a dream.

You drag your feet begrudgingly across the floor to the bathroom to splurge some water on your face, in a futile attempt to calm down your puffy eyes. Before you’re off to the kitchen where Hoseok is currently eating his breakfast cereal.

Once he hears the sound of footsteps, he raises his head, only to see you awkwardly walk in the kitchen, eyes downcast as you go for the fridge.

“Hey,” you hear him say.

With your face facing the inside of the fridge you take a breath, letting the low temperature calm you down.

You knew it was coming. Hoseok definitely listened to everything along with Seokjin. And yet you don’t feel like replying.

Nonetheless, you turn around and acknowledge him with a tilt of your head as you move to have the coffee machine working.

“So… How you feeling?”

The question prompts a humourless chuckle out of you and Hoseok sighs in response.

“I know, that’s a lousy question. I just…” he takes a breath, eyes gentle on you, not at all judgemental as you’d expect them, after what you’ve done yesterday, “I mean I know Jimin’s side of the story, but I never heard yours…” he concludes, letting a soft smile take over his features.

Huh. Your side of the story.

You swallow the lump in your throat, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you resolve to looking down at the floor as your hands grab tightly at your empty cup.

Hoseok, sensing your hesitation, sighs resigned but he doesn’t push you on it.

A moment passes when both of you remain silent until your coffee is ready. You pour the liquid into your cup, almost moaning in relief you don’t have to stay here another second.

But before you get to leave Hoseok speaks up again.

“I know things may look like a mess right now but I’m sure this won’t be the case forever. Jimin… yeah, he’s mad but you're his best friend. He’s gonna change his mind soon…” Hoseok’s gentle words reach you and, oh god, how do you want to believe them.

You turn to look at him and see the hope written in his eyes.

You give him what might have resembled a smile if you weren’t feeling so beat-down.

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me Hobi…” you whisper and Hoseok’s face falls just a bit at how broken you sound.

“Things will change, I’m certain of it,” still he replies, eyes full of determination that make the slightest sliver of hope go through the cracks of your sorrow.

Right then another pair of footsteps echoes as Jimin walks into the kitchen.

His sudden arrival has you both freeze, eyes resting on the newcomer and while Hoseok keeps on looking at Jimin, you’re quick to avert your gaze, the lump in your throat growing.

A second passes where Jimin doesn’t move forward or backwards. Like he isn’t sure if you could be in the same room anymore after yesterday's events. Your heart pangs at the thought.

He coughs awkwardly.

“I didn’t know you were awake, I can come back later-” he begins softly, eyes avoiding yours as well, making the pain grow a little sharper.

“No, it’s okay, I was done anyway…” you interrupt him, hands gripping tightly at your steaming cup as if it is a life board.

And without another word, you’re out of the kitchen.

.

.

{Hoseok’s POV}

A week passes by and it seems there’s no hope for reconciliation on the horizon.

Both of you went the extra miles and rearranged your schedules to avoid each other as much as possible. Jimin spends nearly every night at Dinah’s, barely seeing the others and you spend days locked into your room under the pretence of writing, but really you’re just avoiding everyone.

The rest of the guys don’t know what to do anymore.

It’s a Friday afternoon when Hoseok is over at Ana’s place, the mood in his apartment too heavy to bear and he can’t bear this anymore.

“Babe, I’m back, they didn’t have any vinegar chips so I bought oregano instead. Can you imagine the disgrace?” he shouts as soon as he steps back into the apartment, after a small walk to the seven eleven down the street.

But instead of hearing his girlfriend’s welcoming back, he hears her sigh. Then he sees her walk around the corner from the kitchen with her phone pressed to her ear like she’s in a conference call.

“I still don’t understand why won’t you just tell him!” Ana speaks on the phone, sending a tired wave to her boyfriend who looks at her entirely confused.

Hoseok just takes his shoes off and plops himself on the couch, sensing Ana won’t be done with that phone call anytime soon.

There’s a silence from her side as she listens intently to what the other person is saying. Hoseok decides to open the bag of chips just to keep his hands occupied.

After a while, Ana talks again.

“But what if she doesn’t tell him?” she? First, she mentioned a “him” and now a “she”? Hoseok’s getting more confused by the second.

“And what about Jimin then? Doesn’t he deserve to know the truth?” her voice is stern, like a mother berating her child and a sound of understanding leaves Hoseok’s lips, as he concludes Ana is talking to you.

There’s a small silence from your side, indicating no response to Ana’s question and so she keeps talking.

“And I’m talking about the whole truth Y/N.”

Hoseok’s intrigued. What whole truth?

“I know I was the first person to be against telling him about your feelings but with how poorly you handled the situation, I don’t think you can possibly make anything worse!”

At that, Hoseok’s eyes blow wide open. Feelings?! What feelings?! 

He’s immediately up, approaching Ana with quick steps as she listens to your response. Your voice, even though muffled through the phone, sounds weaker, sadder. Disheartened.

Ana’s words are softer now. “But you’ll never be able to do this. You’ll never be ready but, the truth is, no one ever is. That’s kinda how it goes and that’s okay. But you gotta do it at some point, sooner or later,” she talks to you calmly, Hoseok sensing her sorrow at hearing you like this.

But he can’t shake the feeling that he can somehow help if he finds out what those feelings are.

Ana sighs tiredly as if what she just said didn’t have much of an impact. “Y/N-” but before she gets to respond you hang up.

Ana gasps while staring at her phone. “She just hung up on me, I can’t believe it, how dare?” she says to no one in particular as she rubs her hands on her face tiredly.

“Tough luck?” Hoseok comments wrapping his hands around her waist. Ana welcomes the embrace, her hands winding around his neck as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“She just won’t listen! She’s so infuriatingly stubborn and it’s driving me nuts!” she blows a stray hair out of her face, accidentally tickling Hoseok’s skin in the process and he chuckles.

“Kinda like you then?” he teases as he finally pushes that stray lock behind her ear and she pokes out her tongue at him in retaliation before falling into peaceful tranquillity.

Hoseok hates to disrupt this but he has to ask her what all of those things meant. For the sake of Jimin.

“Hey, babe…” he begins and Ana hums in acknowledgement.

“When you talked about Y/N’s feelings…” he feels her stiffen in his embrace but nonetheless he carries on, “... what did you mean?”

Ana takes a breath. “I guess there’s no point in not telling you now…” she speaks softly before taking another breath, one Hoseok holds until he hears her answer.

“Y/N… she likes Jimin. Well I mean that’s what she says anyway. I think it’s way more than that…” Ana admits sadly but Hoseok’s mind goes into overdrive.

“Are you serious…?” he asks in what can be perceived as a calm demeanour but in reality, his head is about to explode.

Ana chuckles calmly, still in Hoseok’s embrace. “I know right?”

Oh my god, they’re both idiots, he thinks. But he has to do something now.

“Oh god, those giant baboons!” he almost yells, making Ana flinch and take a step back to look at him perplexed.

“Hoseok…?”

He laughs incredulously as he takes a step back, trying to process the situation.

“For how long?” he asks and Ana looks more weirded out by the second.

“Two months, give or take?” Ana responds with narrowed eyes.

Hoseok chuckles. “That’s…” when Jimin started going out with Dinah, of course, it all makes sense!

“Seriously our friends are the worst idiots ever!” he complains once more.

“Okay, now do you mind telling me what’s going on?” she retaliates, getting irritated with her boyfriend and his tendency of not explaining anything for the dramatics.

“Jimin likes her back!” he shouts out loud, the magnificence of what he found out too overwhelming to bear.

Ana’s eyes widen. “What? How can that be? What about Dinah?”

Hoseok narrows his eyes at her. “He began dating her again after that one night stand that only happened because he saw Y/N hugging Seokj- Wait! What about Seokjin?”

Ana seems confused. “What about Seokjin?”

“Isn’t Y/N dating him?”

Ana almost bursts out in giggles. “What? No! Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“Cause of the hug!”

“So what, a simple hug means automatically they’re dating each other?”

“Well, we all know Y/N hates hugs, plus she had a crush on him so it would be believable- Wait, that’s not the point. So Y/N isn’t dating Seokjin?”

“Nope. Never did,” Ana concludes as both of them fall into the same realization.

“So Jimin did all that stuff…” Ana begins, not quite believing the absurdity of the situation.

“...Because he thought Seokjin was dating Y/N,” Hoseok admits tiredly.

“We gotta tell Jimin,” Ana grabs her phone to punch in his number before Hoseok stops her.

“Wait…” he stares at the phone, the cogs in his mind whirling before his eyes light up.

“I got a better idea.”

.

.

{Jimin’s POV}

Sweat still drips down his forehead as Jimin bids goodbye to his students, after the end of his contemporary class. He reaches for his water bottle and heads for the teachers’ lounge where his stuff is before he gets to his last class.

He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand before pressing the now lukewarm bottle on the nape of his neck, to get some sort of relief.

Once again, his focus wasn’t entirely on the class. It has been like that ever since your fight, but at least it started getting better as time passed. Still not at its best though.

He finds himself feeling guilty more than he thought he would. Guilty towards you, towards Dinah. It’s a mess.

Admittedly, he was really mad at you but as he got to think it over, he realised he acted too rashly in cutting you off. And he misses you already.

But the thing is… you haven't made a move to reconcile either. That could be because you’re afraid of him pushing you away again. But shouldn't you make the first step? If you did, Jimin is sure he would forgive you on the spot.

He shakes his head tiredly as he enters the teachers’ lounge and reaches for his backpack. Everything’s a mess.

And then there’s Dinah. Dinah who’s changed, who’s kind and understanding. Dinah who he strings along and who’s possibly already aware of Jimin’s use of her as a distraction. They both know that, even though Dinah’s changed and everything’s seemingly fine, the relationship is doomed this time around as well.

Although this time it’s Jimin’s fault.

He needs to come clean to her. He has to end this.

Right then his phone begins ringing.

Once he sees the contact name, he’s a little less willing to answer it.

“What do you want?” is his response once he picks up and there’s an awkward chuckle at the other end before the caller finally replies.

“Whoa, okay, forward, can’t you buy me a drink first, champ?” Seokjin tries to make the tension disappear unsuccessfully, resulting in Jimin not even answering that particular quip.

He hears Seokjin sigh on the other side, before “Anyway, can’t I just call my friend to see how he’s doing? It’s been a while since the last time we talked…” the other man admits cautiously and Jimin’s defensiveness slowly ebbs away to give place to additional guilt. He’s the one blowing off all his friends because he wants space. Or more precisely, he thinks, because he’s a coward, too afraid to really deal with the situation, so instead picking the easy way out, at the expense of his friends.

He rubs his face with his hands, before letting out a breath. “Yeah, I know, things have been kind of…” Jimin trails off but Seokjin hums, as if he understands what Jimin means without him having to say it out loud.

“Yeah…” Seokjin agrees quietly and Jimin feels more horrible as time goes by. When did he begin to feel such animosity towards his friend? They used to be really close ever since they worked together at the same shift, and now Jimin can barely be in the same room as him. It’s not Seokjin’s fault in any way and the truth is Jimin’s animosity arises not towards Seokjin but more towards himself.

He has stuff he needs to work on.

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about…” comes Seokjin’s response that has Jimin sitting up straight in his seat, terrified of what his friend wants to talk to him about.

And it seems his fears were not unjustified.

“How long have you liked Y/N?”

There it is.

Jimin takes a breath, panic trying to take over him but he wills it to go away and answer his friend. Even if he’s terrified to do so.

“I…” he begins, audible shakiness colouring his voice, “... how do you know?”

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to answer. “Hoseok told me…”

Jimin takes another breath, one full of guilt.

“Look, I… I’m sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did! And I know it’s awful of me to have done this but, yeah, for some time I had thought of acting on it. But now that I know for certain you’re together, I wouldn’t even dream of-”

“First of all, Y/N and I are not together.” Seokjin interrupts the babbling idiot and Jimin stops mid-sentence.

He blinks, uncertain. “I… what?”

Seokjin sighs with a chuckle. “Y/N and I aren’t dating,” he repeats.

Jimin opens his mouth like a fish, in complete and utter shock. “But… but I saw you…” he states full of doubt, almost like a question.

He can almost hear Seokjin raising his eyebrow. “You saw us doing what?”

The lump in his throat doesn’t make this any easier. “I saw you kissing a-a-aand-and hugging!” he retaliates, trying to support his reasoning.

Seokjin sighs once more, the gesture coming off him naturally by now. “Okay, she kissed me because she wanted to avoid a dude she ghosted, I had little to no say in this!” Seokjin responds in a typical Seokjin fashion.

But Jimin has more questions. “A dude she ghosted?”

“Yeah, she was supposed to go on a date with this guy in my restaurant but blew him off for some reason…”

Wait.

“When was this?” Jimin asks, eager but nervous to find out the answer.

“A couple of days before Christmas.”

So that wasn’t a date with Seokjin but just a rando?

God, Jimin has fucked up big time.

“And what about the hug?” he asks for the last time, to make sure he resolves any misunderstanding.

“What hug? Oh, you mean on my birthday? Dude, that was just her coming clean about her past crush on me and us moving past this like a couple of adults.”

Jimin’s throat constricts uncomfortably but in unbelievable hope. “Past crush?”

Seokjin’s smile is nearly audible. “Yeah, “past”. Know why? Because she has feelings for someone else.”

And just as easily as Seokjin has given him hope, he just as easily rips it away.

“Oh…?” Jimin barely manages to utter, voice almost breaking alongside his heart. “Who?”

Seokjin groans on the other side, taking Jimin wholly by surprise by the irritated tone in the older man’s voice. “Oh my god, you really are both idiots,” he says almost to himself, “You, you soggy tit! Do you really think she did all that to Dinah simply because she didn’t like her? No, she was fucking jealous!” Seokjin concludes, voice rushed and angry to berate his friend and finally put an end to this huge mess.

But Jimin hears only one word.

You.

She has feelings for you.

The girl he’s been in love with for nearly a year now, if not more, has feelings for him. Reciprocated feelings.

Is this real? Is this a fucking dream from which he’ll wake up in the morning, feeling shittier than ever?

But Seokjin said she was jealous. Jealous.

“She- She was? Seokjin, just…” he stops himself to take a calming breath, refusing to believe this just yet, “Please, don’t joke about this, I’m not gonna laugh,” he warns his friend. He can’t bear to have his heart messed with any more than it already has been.

“Does it sound like I’m joking? Believe me, I wouldn’t, we’re all too invested in your shit, it’s not healthy.”

Jimin can’t believe this. He wants to, desperately, but what if it’s not real? What then?

“I…” he swallows his nerves, “She really has feelings for me?” he asks, not unlike a hopeful child. God, his heart is about to burst.

“Yeah, buddy, I know it’s hard to believe when I exist!” Seokjin tries to lighten up the mood with a joke.

Jimin doesn’t laugh.

“...Too soon? Sorry, anyway, I thought you should also know Y/N really feels awful for everything and if there’s one thing that can confirm that, is the fact she apologized to Dinah,” Seokjin concludes carefully.

Jimin doesn’t know how to respond.

“But if you don’t believe me… Ask Y/N herself.”

But he knows what to do.

.

.

{Y/N’s POV}

You’re washing the dishes, alone at home for another hour at the very least as Jimin’s classes end in one hour.

Should you go to Ana’s? Ugh, but Hoseok is there.

Maybe you should just hole yourself up in your room for the scarce time Jimin will be here before he’s off to Dinah’s.

Which reminds you of earlier today.

In Dinah’s defence, she handled your apology quite gracefully, in contrast with you. You were a babbling mess, trying to put your thoughts into place and at first, she was suspicious of you, but once your visit made sense, she seemed to understand. Something even you couldn’t at times.

She accepted your apology with a calm smile, confusing you even more as she said she appreciated your effort to put all of this behind you.

You were glad she seemed to not hold it against you although, honestly… you don’t think you deserve it.

You have no idea if she’s planning on telling Jimin or not and quite frankly you’re terrified of what he’ll say if he finds out.

Once you’re done with the dishes and close the tap, you hear the front door open and close, assuming it’s Hoseok back from Ana’s.

“Hobi, is that you?” you ask before turning around, only to almost choke on your own breath when you see Jimin instead.

He’s standing just in front of the door, not going forwards or backwards, as his eyes stare at you. Serious, careful but calm. No anger residing in them. Just awkwardness as he seems to not know what to do with himself, as he simply rests in place and somehow a tiny drop of hope begins to bloom.

“I… Don’t you have classes?” is the first thing you manage to get out of your mouth and he takes a breath.

“I had to get out early…” he responds and you can’t help but focus on the “had to”. Did Dinah talk to him after all?

“...Why?” is your careful question, when in reality your mind is in a state of disarray. Is this a good sign? A bad one? Is he here to restore your friendship to what it used to be or finally cut ties with you and move out?

Your mind is gonna short-circuit.

“I…” he begins, eyes falling to the floor. Then he takes another breath. “I had to talk to you,” he says.

Oh god. This is it. You’re done.

Your throat closes up as you blink quickly trying to stop your eyes from welling up. Damnit, you already cried so much about this, you shouldn’t have any more tears left!

He takes a tentative step forward, eyes finding yours once again. But they look… soft, tender. Apologetic.

“I… I’m sorry. For the way I acted,” he breathes out and your eyes widen, having to do a double-take to make sure you heard right. “I was too harsh on you, basically taking out my nerves on you and even though what you did was awful, I shouldn’t have taken such drastic measures. I took it too far by saying we shouldn’t be friends and I’d like to take it back if you want to…” he concludes, observing you cautiously.

You’re left staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. Is he serious? Did he just apologize to you like he was the one at fault?

“Jimin, oh my god, you shouldn’t have to apologize, I should!” you rush to say, instinctively grabbing his hands to soothe him, completely missing the taken aback turned loving look in his eyes.

“I acted way out of line and truth be told I think I needed that as a wake-up call. You were right, what kind of friend am I if I don’t try to get along with the girl you’re dating?” you continue, too self-conscious to be able to look Jimin in the eye, instead staring at your joined hands with a new kind joy.

You got your best friend back. And if keeping him means you have to bury your feelings for him, then you’ll do it. For real this time. Whatever it takes to not lose him again.

Jimin chuckles in response. “Used to date,” he corrects you.

This time though you can’t help it when your eyes snap back at him. “What? What do you mean?”

Where you expected to be a sorrowful expression, there is none. Instead, Jimin is looking at you with a soft smile, a serene one, one that matches the peace in his eyes. “We broke up,” he says and you can’t find the proper words to react to this.

“Oh… H-how so?” you say instead, unwillingly holding your breath.

Jimin’s eyes rest on your face for a moment, that damned smile still gracing his lips, before his eyes fall to your hands. “I guess you helped me realise some things with what you did,” is his cryptic response.

But before you get to question his answer his eyes turn stern, with a note of mischief hiding in their corners. “That does not mean what you did was okay, though,” he says, pointing his finger at you like a teacher disciplining a child and you chuckle at his attempt of lightening up the mood.

“Believe me, I know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…” you respond, rubbing a hand awkwardly at the base of your neck, still awfully aware of your other hand still connected to Jimin’s.

“Well…” he says quietly, his eyes on your joined hands, “Good thing I did then…” he mutters, his thumb running over the back of your palm soothingly and once your eyes meet his, you know you’ll be okay.

.

.

After that talk with Jimin, -that ended with the both of you watching Space Jam and cuddling to sleep-, everything is once again back to normal. The past week has been amazing compared to the one before it. You find yourself smiling all the time as your friendship with Jimin is back to its prime, laughter and joy returning to your shared apartment.

Your group returns back to its routine, hanging out together in front of the TV, roasting Hoseok for his abundant sexual energy, you know, the usual.

And yet you feel like something’s changed. More particularly, with Jimin.

You catch his eyes on you more than once, more than what could be considered normal but ever since you made up the two of you haven’t been left alone once. The guys are always around and, really, it’s not like you don’t want them to be but there’s always something hanging from Jimin’s mouth, something he wants to say but never does due to their presence. It’s slightly unnerving, reminding you of that night outside your bedrooms when he wanted to say something but didn't.

You can’t tell if it’s good or bad. All you know is suddenly your knees shake when he looks at you for too long and you have goosebumps whenever his skin touches yours.

So that’s why tonight you chose to sit on the lone armchair as he sits next to Hoseok on the big couch and Ana is placed next to Seokjin on the small one.

Somehow the conversation managed to go on that New Year’s party and Seokjin ended up spilling about your kiss.

“You said “we take this to the grave”!” you respond with a low voice, trying to mimic him unsuccessfully as Ana and Hoseok stare at you with eyes wide as saucers. Jimin, for some reason, looks unresponsive to the news yet he laughs at your bad impression of Seokjin.

Seokjin at least has the decency to look guilty as Ana’s scandalized eyes turn to you. “You kissed?!”

You raise your hands in defence, for some reason avoiding to look over at Jimin. “I didn’t do it on purpose! Well… I kinda did but not with the motive you’d assume,” you rush to explain, though Ana is less than satisfied.

“Oh then with what motive? Please amuse me, hoe,” she responds, crossing her hands on her chest and you huff out in annoyance.

Seokjin answers her. “Well, obviously, she wanted a piece of all that. I’m pretty irresistible to all humankind,” he jokes lightly and you suppress a snort.

“Yeah, no, this ain’t it, chief,” you rush to say, suddenly nervous, not wanting anyone to think you’re still into Seokjin.

Actually, replace “anyone” with just “Jimin”.

Seokjin gasps in offence. “What in the world do you even mean?! You’re lucky I kissed you and not just because you got rid of that dude! I’m a pretty good kisser, no scratch that, I’m an excellent kisser, a connoisseur of kissing if you will!”

“I think I won’t be able to kiss anyone after that…” Hoseok responds which makes Seokjin gasp once more before he looks over at you.

“Y/N, tell them the truth. How my kissing is so utterly magnificent, it could end world hunger!” he says before actually hearing what he just said then deciding against it, “Nope, can’t do that, sorry, that’s on me.”

You chuckle at his antics, although a bit reluctant to actually reveal the truth.

“Actually…” you start.

Another gasp resonates. “Don’t “actually” me! Just tell them!”

You turn to the other guys with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, it’s not like you were a bad kisser per se. It’s just that it was a bit… lackluster?” you finish, almost afraid to see Seokjin’s reaction to the reveal.

Jimin suppresses a chuckle, Hoseok oohs from the side and Ana’s eyes widen in surprise.

Seokjin looks at you with disbelief.

“Lackluster?”

You rush to make amends. “I mean it’s okay given I took you by surprise, but due to that crush I used to have on you, I had this notion of a kiss full of passion. And that one just… didn’t have it.” 

Seokjin pouts angrily at you before crossing his arms on his chest as Ana pats his shoulder soothingly. “I can’t believe you just said my kiss didn’t have any passion.”

You shrug. “Well, it didn’t,” you say as a matter of a fact before Ana jumps into the conversation.

“It’s probably a good thing your kiss didn’t have any passion, it just means your friends. No chemistry there so don’t beat yourself up too much, champ,” she says with an affectionate pinch on Seokjin’s cheek, who ponders on her input.

“Yeah, Ana is right!” you rush to agree. “It’s because we’re just friends! When you find someone you really like, believe me, it’ll be nothing like that,” you go off track a bit as certain memories reappear. “It’ll be full of passion and yearning and not getting enough of each other, you’re not sure if you can go on without kissing them!”

And somehow by the end of that, your eyes fall on Jimin’s and stay there.

Because he stares back.

“Okay, I think we heard enough about Seokjin’s kissing techniques,” Ana comments, breaking the spell and your eyes fall to your lap, fire residing in your cheeks.

“I just have one last comment on what I think Seokjin could’ve used but didn’t cause he’s a wuss,” Hoseok jumps in.

“Tongue.”

A round of gagging noises is heard around the apartment.

.

.

The hours pass by smoothly and soon everyone’s getting sleepy. Seokjin leaves early, having to go to the restaurant first thing in the morning, leaving the rest of you to clean up.

Once again Jimin picks up the trash with Ana as Hoseok helps you do the dishes. The apartment falls into a comfortable silence with the occasional chatter between the four of you while you clean up. Hoseok is to sleepover at Ana’s so when you’re all done the couple bids you goodbye, heading to Ana’s apartment.

Leaving you and Jimin totally alone.

Which is something that shouldn’t scare you but for some reason your nerves are going through the roof.

“Are you done with the kitchen?” Jimin asks from the living room, where he’s rearranging the pillows on the couch.

“Yeap! Just finished!” you call back, your voice a bit higher than usual and you cringe internally before clearing your throat.

“Good, I’m going to bed then,” he responds as you walk out of the kitchen.

“I’ll walk with you,” you respond with a smile, following him into the corridor.

You walk in comfortable silence, but still, you find yourself getting nervous as you walk side by side. It doesn’t make any sense.

Once you reach your bedrooms, both of you turn around to face each other, seemingly unwilling to depart just yet. Jimin looks at you with a soft smile as you grab at the opportunity to talk to him.

“Jimin, I just… I’m really happy we got past that and again I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused,” you say in what seems like the hundredth apology this week.

Jimin’s smile grows fonder as he shakes his head gently. “I told you, you should stop apologizing, I’m no longer mad at you,” is his quiet reply as he tilts his head, his eyes staring at you in a way it makes your heart race.

“I know I just… That week we spent not talking to each other was the worst week of my life and I…” you pause searching for the right words, but no words could ever describe the magnificence of what you’re feeling right now, the desperation of wanting to have him in your life. So you simply stare at him, out of breath, hoping he gets it.

His smile is one of the best things you’ve ever seen and you know he does.

You smile back. “Anyway, I’ve gotten too sentimental…” you chuckle, clearing your voice to sound more collected.

Jimin giggles softly. “Happens to the best of us…” he responds gently and you have to remind yourself to not stare. Even if he does and it makes you feel out of breath.

You nod with a smile. “Well…” you respond nervously, yearning for the moment you’re alone in your room, free of all this tension. “Goodnight,” you say simply, turning around to get to your door.

But a hand wraps itself around your wrist, turning you around suddenly. Your hands naturally fall to Jimin’s chest as his palms wrap around your waist and hair as his lips fall fervently on yours.

Your mind goes into overdrive and you can only kiss him back.

His plump lips wrap around your own softly but with an intense sense of urgency, a soft gasp falling from your lips as your hands are quick into grabbing his shirt to pull him unbelievably closer. You respond with just as much hunger, letting your mouth move fervently against his own, pushing more and more against him, aiding his hand that’s tangled in your hair, gripping the locks as if he can’t get enough. Then both of his palms are on the small of your back, holding you close as if fearing you’ll leave. But you never do and that makes him press more against you until your back hits the wall next to your door.

The impact makes Jimin lean back just enough to stop the kiss, but his eyes still remain glued to the image of your swollen lips, as you almost lean after his own.

Your heavy breaths mingle in the otherwise quiet corridor, his hands still on your waist, yours still on his open shirt as you try to wrap your mind around what just happened.

“Did you mean something like that?” comes out his gruff, deep voice that sends a shiver down your spine.

His question brings you back to the earlier conversation about a perfect kiss and you can’t control your breathing any more than your beating heart.

You nod quickly, eyes still on his lips. “Yes,” is your breathless answer.

Jimin’s still breathing heavily as his eyes land once again on your lips.

“Good.”

And then he’s kissing you again.

And, fuck, you can’t get enough.

Your palms land on his neck as you stand on your toes to reach him better and his hands wrap around your waist to keep you in place.

Fuck, you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him and he’s kissing you back. As if he’s a man starved of your kiss and he needs anything you can give him.

But then he stops again and you almost groan out loud.

“You need to stop doing that…” you exhale with an affected chuckle and he chuckles as well.

“I just… I need to talk to you before anything else happens….” he whispers and even though you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, you can’t help but feel a pang of fear in your chest.

“I…” he says, eyes dazedly looking at your face before he takes an encouraging breath.

“I want you to know that this isn’t like last time. It’s more, it means more, I-” he stops once more, voice trembling as he refuses to look anywhere else but you.

His words give you hope but for the first time in weeks, you welcome that hope. You welcome that glorious feeling to settle deep in your chest because you recognize that warm glint deep in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he reveals and you swear your heart will burst. There’s moisture in your eyes but you will it to go away.

“You are…?” you ask with a small voice and Jimin smiles at you, all happiness and comfort. There’s a fuzzy feeling in the middle of your chest and at this moment nothing makes any more sense than you two.

“Yes. And I spent the past year trying to run from it…” he admits carefully as he slightly crouches down to meet your eyes.

“I’m not running anymore…” he concludes, a spark in his eyes and you’ve never seen him more sure for anything in his life.

There’s a whirlwind of emotions in you. Relief, hope, undeniable joy. It makes your throat close and for a few seconds, you can’t answer him. You only stare back and hope he understands like so many times before.

“I-” you manage to choke out with a weak voice but he’s quick to shush you, before kissing the inside of your palm.

“I know…” he responds softly, still holding onto your palm as his eyes find yours. You can’t look away, couldn’t if you wanted to.

And then you can’t stop smiling, and he’s smiling back and before you know it you’re kissing again.

Happiness rolls like a current between, from all the places your bodies touch, you can’t contain it so you keep on kissing fervidly, hands touching whenever they can, mouths moving in tandem like it’s natural. Like it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

“God, I have so much I want to tell you…” he whispers against your lips before he’s diving back in, tongue reaching out to meet yours.

“Me too…” you reply after a few seconds, pushing him closer as your fingers tangle in his hair. “But not now…” you whisper sternly, pushing your chest against him, needing to feel more of him.

He curses under his breath, the sound sinful, licking his lips before he’s kissing you again and his hands fall lower down your back to rest over the swell of your ass.

You moan in appreciation when his hands grab at the tender flesh, making you arch out so he has better leverage. There’s a throbbing between your legs and you resist grinding on him just yet, to drag it out as long as you can.

Jimin’s lips move down the column of your throat as his body cages you against the wall, hands keeping your hips still as he wedges one leg between yours, so his thigh can press upright against your mound.

You moan again when he leaves a particularly deep hickey on your skin and your hips instinctively roll against his thigh, your hands holding on to his back afraid you might fall.

He chuckles darkly against your skin. “Still into thighs I see…” he mumbles before biting softly at your earlobe, a shiver running down your spine.

You bite your lip before, “Correction, still into your thighs…” you admit as you roll your hips slowly on top of his thigh, starting to feel that delicious warmth building up in your stomach, making you feel dizzy.

Jimin almost bucks into you with a low moan, as his hands are certain to leave marks on your hips as he struggles to remain sane.

“Fuck… Although I’m really tempted to just fuck you here, we should probably move…” he murmurs between kisses to your collarbone and you have half a sane mind to agree. The other half is already picturing him doing it either way.

But before you get to move, his arms are quicker, lunging under your thighs and you instinctively wrap them around his waist with a surprised yelp. His palms are resting right on top of your ass, subconsciously pushing you closer, making your insides burn in anticipation.

There’s a smirk on his lips as he licks them, eyes roaming your face to make sure you don’t have second doubts. Although your eyes are glued to the movement of his wet tongue.

When he realises this, he’s quick to move towards his room as you choose now as the perfect moment to lick and suck bruises on his neck, not able to deny yourself any longer.

“Shit… Y/N, if you keep this up I’m gonna drop you…” he mumbles with a stern but clearly-affected voice and you smile in victory before softly biting at his skin, savouring his taste on your tongue.

He kicks his door open before he carefully lays you on his bed, lips immediately after your own as you reach for his neck to desperately press more of him against you.

Your palms move down his chest, grabbing the edges of his flannel to push it off his shoulders, leaving him in his T-shirt and jeans.

“Why are you wearing so many clothes…?” you ask breathlessly, immediately reconnecting your lips like a woman starved and Jimin chuckles, grabbing the hem of your T-shirt instead and pushing it upwards. You sigh in relief as soon as your heated skin is free, yearning to feel more of his skin against yours.

“Just trying to keep myself warm,” he comments rushedly as he discards the piece of clothing somewhere behind him and his eyes fall to your covered breasts. He curses, lowering his face to kiss down your collarbones until his lips reach the bare top of your tits. His mouth leaves a wet trail behind that’s making you gasp as your thighs rub together to gain some relief.

Jimin notices and chuckles darkly before biting your bottom lip. “You want any help there?” he teases and you groan out loud with a pout.

“Yes, but please take your clothes off a little bit faster. It’s making my dick soft,” you whine, bucking your hips towards him.

He pins them down between his own legs, forcing them to stay still. His fingers toy with the waistband of your leggings as your breaths turn heavier while only looking at his eyes.

“Aw, so I won’t have my ass rawed by your dick? Such a shame baby…” he teases once more with a sinful smirk and the last word has your eyes rolling back into your head.

“Fuck, say that again…” you murmur, arching your chest upwards as you feel moisture gather between your legs, just by the single mention of a nickname.

Jimin laughs out loud as he moves to get your leggings off and you’re quick to aid him. “Is this really what turns you on?” he comments playfully as he leans in, lips kissing the underside of your jaw.

“No, I meant…” you stop, suddenly self-conscious, “... the other part…” you mumble quietly, turning your face to the side, knowing a deep red has taken over your cheeks. It’s not simply about the nickname or the tenderness in his voice as he said it. It’s about what it represents, what you already heard from his lips but you simply can’t have enough of. It makes everything real.

Jimin regards you for a second before, “What? Baby?” he asks, rather innocently and yet you still can’t look at him, too embarrassed as you nod.

Jimin’s eyes turn softer as he bites his lip to contain his smile. Fuck, he’s so in love.

He moves to press a tender kiss to your jaw. “Baby,” he repeats slowly, before resting his lips on your collarbones and you sigh in content. “Baby…” he says again, leaving a kiss in the valley between your breasts, making your breath hitch. “Baby…” he moves lower, dragging his plump lips down your torso as your breaths quicken, the sound of the nickname having your heart making somersaults.

“Baby…” he whispers lowly one last time, the tone completely different, darker, more promising. His eyes rest on you as his face now lays above your panties. Then his hands are hooking behind the waistband, dragging the material down your legs and he bites his lips at the sight of your glistening folds.

“God, I wanna taste you so bad…” he says almost to himself and before you get to react, he hooks your legs on top of his shoulders and his tongue lands with kittenish licks on your clit.

An involuntary groan escapes you, bucking your hips into his mouth for more. And yet he maintains his pace, sending waves of pleasure up your body but never enough to get you where you want to. You can’t help the movement of your hips as you crave for more friction, his movements delicious but never enough. Jimin pins your hips down, tsking you before he presses a kiss at the junction between your thigh and cunt.

“You’ll get what you want, baby, all in due time…” he says sternly, his voice low, sending shivers down your spine as his mouth returns to your clit, and you bite your lip to drown your moan.

Though now, he leaves aside the kittenish lick to wrap his mouth around the swollen nub and suck it between his lips.

A loud moan breaks free from your lips, heavy pants resonating as his plush lips envelop your clit, finally giving you more, moving expertly against your folds and your hands find purchase on Jimin’s locks to press him more against you.

He lets you do as you please while one of his hands travels up your torso, pushing your bra’s cups down to toy with one of your nipples.

The added pleasure has you cry his name in ecstasy, losing all control of your hips as they move against Jimin’s face, as if they have a mind of their own, chasing after your high like a madwoman.

And as one hand tugs at your erect nipples, the other finds this chance to move down your body and trace around your entrance, making your pussy clench in anticipation. Before finally pushing two digits inside your velvety walls.

“Jimin!” you almost sob, your hips furiously chasing after your high as you feel the warmth building up more and more inside your stomach. 

His fingers keep thrusting inside you, slowly at first to let you get used to the intrusion, before he picks up the pace, moving them quickly, roughly inside you. Knuckles deep as his fingertips find that little soft spot inside your walls that has your eyes roll to the back of your head.

And when you open your eyes and see Jimin staring you back with darkness and lust in his own from between your legs, the band snaps.

You come with a loud moan, riding your orgasm against Jimin’s tongue, as the pleasure seems too much, too intense. But then the feeling starts to fade away and Jimin lets you relax as he leaves butterfly kisses against your thighs.

You try to catch your breath as Jimin’s kisses move upwards, up your stomach, to your breasts until he’s kissing you again. Your hands move to wrap around his neck, never having quite enough of him.

“This is not fair, you know…” you chastise him playfully, kissing his underjaw when a quiet moan rolls from his tongue.

“What’s not fair?” he asks, trying to keep up with the conversation but judging by the way his hip rut against you, you know he’s struggling.

“The fact I’m completely naked while you still have your clothes on…” you observe with a cock of your eyebrow and a smirk grazes his lips as his finger tugs at the elastic of your bra and lets it snap against your skin.

“Ah but you’re not completely naked…” he teases against your lips as his fingers move down your body in a sensual caress.

But being you, you take that as a challenge. So you push him slightly away just so you can move your hands behind your back and unclasp your bra with one movement.

Jimin’s eyes go wide as you flick the undergarment across the room, swallowing heavily before his eyes return to your bare chest.

“Now I am…” is your witty retort as you subtly arch your back just so he can have a better view. He stands there staring at you for a few seconds before he curses and moves quickly to get rid of his clothes.

You giggle at his impatience when he ends up stuck in his T-shirt, sporting an adorable pout. “Easy, baby, I’m not going anywhere…” you joke, sitting up to help him take off his t-shirt with a soft smile, one he reciprocates as he moves to unbuckle his pants.

“Well, it wasn’t me getting too impatient to- Wait…” he stops mid-sentence after taking his pants off. A spark of realization has entered his eyes before he turns to you to meet you with a teasing smile.

“Did you just call me baby?”

Your eyes widen in shock as a blush creeps into your cheeks and with a scoff you lightly shove him for daring to make fun of you.

“Y-you said it first, genius!” you try to justify yourself with a frown, but Jimin’s smirk only grows as he pushes aside his pants and crawls towards you.

“Yeah, but I’m not the one that spent more than half her life refusing to call her partners that because it’s cheesy…” he comments playfully as he traps you beneath his body once more.

“Even if the rule never applied to her…” he smiles teasingly at you, brushing his lips softly against your pout, reminding you that even if you never called your partners “baby”, you never stopped them from calling you that.

You purse your lips together as you look at your fidgeting hands, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “Well…” you begin, swallowing the lump in your throat, “...you’re different…” you mumble quietly, not really ready to look at him even if you know he feels the same.

That has him halting, and as he sees you too uncomfortable to go on, he doesn’t say anything else. He presses a soft kiss to your knee instead, wishing to convey everything he feels as well through that small kiss.

The movement of his lips on your skin is so tender that has your heart flutter and, while he looks back at you, his smile puts your embarrassment to rest. Because he’s here for you because he feels the same.

“I know it comes a little late but… Can I kiss you?” he asks softly, eyes stuck on your face, tracing your features as if he hasn’t really seen you before, not until now.

The question has your heartbeat quicken even though it’s completely unnecessary. Though your lips stretch out in a smile as you nod.

Jimin leans closer, eyes on your lips as if he’s under some spell. You suppose it’s the same you’re under.

You let his lips envelop yours gently, hands tangling in his hair as you both find yourselves moving back until you’re lying down with Jimin on top of you.

Your hands are greedy to explore his body, even though you’ve done so before. Though that time you’re main motive was to get off, so now gives you the perfect opportunity to get reacquainted with his body, to map out every little detail to memory, until he’s the only thing you see.

His lips move lower to kiss and bite at the column of your throat, eliciting the sweetest moan from your lips that sound like music to Jimin’s ears.

Your breaths get quicker, hands moving recklessly to get rid of the remaining piece of fabric that separates you. Jimin rushes to help you, throwing away his boxers, now standing in his complete naked glory.

There’s nothing else to say, not really when a single look can convey everything you feel without unnecessary words. And the way Jimin looks at you right now makes you feel like you’re in heaven. Like you’re cared for, safe and content right here in his arms.

His hand brushes a lock behind your ear and the motion is so tender, loving, it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Are you ready?” he whispers softly, eyes gentle, ready to back off if you say so, reminding you of yet another reason you’re so helplessly in love with him.

You simply nod, too afraid to talk but your smile is all it takes for Jimin to go forward.

He grabs the base of his shaft, eyes glued at that spot between your legs with anticipation. He moves forward, guiding his tip through your folds, going slowly in case it’s painful but the look of pure bliss on your face and the way your walls welcome his cock has him losing control and going the rest of the way in with a deep thrust.

Your nails claw into the skin of his back with a loud cry while Jimin breathes deeply against the skin of your neck, making goosebumps rise on your skin.

“Fuck, I-...” he exhales, lost in the feeling of your pussy wrapping around him like a grip. “... You okay?” he says breathless, eyes searching yours for anything that’s not okay.

A breathless chuckle escapes you as you press your lips on his jawline. “More than okay. But please move.”

“Oh, thank god….” he mumbles before pulling out and thrusting in again. His movements are slow, yet the perfect pace to help you build up slowly but surely towards a second high.

Jimin rolls his hips with the expertise only a dancer could possess, driving his cock deeper and deeper with each roll, hitting that spot again and you can’t help but close your eyes to savour this feeling.

Shallow breaths leave you as his pubic bone brushes against your clit with each motion, driving you crazy.

“Ugh, you feel… mm’ so good…” he mumbles between thrusts, letting his lips land on your breasts, to suck lovebites on your skin.

“Jimin, fuck…!” you cry out, high-pitched moans escaping you as your hands go to his ass, coaxing him to drive his cock even deeper.

He growls from above your chest before you feel his palm cupping your cheek. “Open your eyes for me, love…” he mumbles quietly and you have no choice but to comply.

Opening your eyes, you’re met with Jimin’s piercing ones, staring at you intensely, burning with unspoken feelings that are too easy to recognize. After all, you feel them too.

You move to the side to kiss the inside of his palm before you smile at him.

He smiles back fondly at you before his hands move to lace his fingers with yours at each side.

“Keep your eyes on me, love…” he whispers before moving again.

This time around, his pace is slightly quicker, his cock hitting your sweet spot with renewed vigour and yet you can only concentrate on his eyes. His eyes that stare at you with such fondness and love it makes your eyes water.

You see the frown on his face before he stops moving in concern, yet you push your heels on his ass to keep him going.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay, keep going…” you say, almost choking with the emotions overwhelming you. “It’s just that… I can’t believe I’m so lucky…” you admit softly, an unbelievable chuckle escaping you as you stare at him with what you hope he sees as undeniable adoration.

He smiles at you again, -you think you’ll never get tired of that smile-, before he leans in to kiss away the stray tear that flowed free from your eyes.

He picks up the pace once more, resting his forehead on top of yours, as shallow moans roll off your tongue. Your high keeps approaching, you can feel it and still you’re only focused on his eyes. Soft grunts escape him as he drives his hips into you, getting closer to his high as well, his hands grasping yours as if they’re a lifeboat.

He brushes his lips gently against yours before “I love you…” he mutters against you and you think your heart is gonna burst.

You press another kiss on his lips before, “I love you too.”

And then you don’t say anything else as your high approaches and after a few more thrusts you both come entangled in one another, each other’s names on your lips.

You lay like this for a few moments, with Jimin’s body on top of yours as both of you struggle to catch your breaths. Then your eyes find each other again and everything seems so clear, so right.

You can’t stop smiling at each other like lovesick fools as you fall asleep next to each other, at last content.

.

.

When Jimin wakes up the next morning he thinks it was all a dream.

But as his eyes rest on your peaceful sleeping form he knows he could never dream something as perfect as this.

He can’t help the lovesick smile taking over his lips as he looks at you through sleep-ridden eyes. He shuffles closer, resting his face on his hands to get a better look while you sleep soundly next to him. He feels like he can never get enough of you. Not now, not ever.

Suddenly your body begins moving though your eyes remain closed and Jimin figures you’re still asleep.

“Stop being creepy…” you mumble with a sleepy smile and Jimin grins too, realising he was wrong.

“I’m not being creepy…” he argues softly, still smiling. You pop open one eye to look at him unimpressed before you yawn and open both your eyelids.

“Oh, yeah, ‘cause it’s super romantic staring at me while I’m asleep, where can I find another man like that…” you tease him with a drowsy smile as your eyes find his.

He groans dramatically though his smile still remains. “You’re unbelievable…” he mumbles, his voice still gruff from sleep and you have to suppress a shiver before shuffling closer.

“I know but you love me…” you mumble against him before kissing his lips slowly. He lets himself get lost on the kiss before you lean back and he licks his lips to savour your taste.

“And now you can’t take it back!” you exclaim out loud before smiling mischievously at him.

Another groan breaks free from his lips. “Already regretting it…” he comments, checking your reaction from the corner of his eyes.

You gasp as if offended by his quip. “Well, maybe then I’ll just leave so you won’t regret it anymore!” you respond, gathering his sheet on your chest as you make a move to leave his bed.

But Jimin is faster, grabbing you by the waist and throwing you back on the bed, crawling on top of you with a predatory smile.

“Now, now, let’s not result in desperate measures…” he dives in for another kiss.

You can’t help but smile again as you kiss him, hands circling around his neck as he softly bites your bottom lip.

“Careful sir. You might trigger something dangerous here…” you whisper seductively, moving one leg so your thigh can rub against his already half-hard member.

Jimin’s smirk only grows. “Mmm, maybe I like danger…” he responds before his lips envelop yours once more. His hands travel beneath the sheet, tracing your skin before they move lower and-.

A loud bang echoes through the apartment, surprising both of you before a booming voice is heard through the walls, one that belongs to none other than Hoseok himself.

“Have you fucked yet or nah?!”

Your eyes widen, face immediately growing red. Jimin looks at you with an apologetic smile and before you get to ask why Hoseok is asking that, said man bursts into the room.

There’s a sudden explosion of sounds, you screaming as you hide beneath Jimin, Jimin cursing at Hoseok as he pulls the sheet to cover you both and Hoseok whistling at the image before him.

“Woah! You finally did it buds, I’m so happy for you!” he cheers you on as he steps inside to fist bump a very angry looking Jimin and a very visibly confused you.

“Hoseok, excuse my french, but what the fuck are you doing here?” Jimin is positively seething with his friends' interruption but as you see Hoseok basically beaming at the both of you, you can’t help but giggle at the absurd situation.

“I came to see if my buddies finally worked it out! And you did, finally! Can you imagine if you hadn’t and I’d burst through the door screaming that? That’d be awkwaaaaaaard!” he comments, too cheerful to notice Jimin’s deadly stare and you bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“Right. That would’ve been awkward…” Jimin comments sarcastically though Hoseok still seems oblivious as he sits on top of the bed with a happy smile hanging from his lips.

You’re about to burst into giggles as you watch Jimin’s eyes growing wider in disbelief and you’re certain he’s gonna kill Hoseok any minute now.

“I’m so happy for you guys! My besties are finally dating!” he comments full of joy and Jimin is about to have smoke pouring out of his ears.

“Hobi, we’re happy too but I think it’d be better for you if you left…” you comment with a smile, pointing with your head at Jimin who’s about to lose it any second.

Hoseok’s eyes widen finally in realization. “Oh, whoops! Right, right, I’m leaving, keep going, stallion, show her how it’s done!” Hoseok throws finger guns at Jimin as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

As soon as Hoseok is out of earshot and you turn to look at Jimin you can’t help but burst into giggles by how absolutely mad he looks.

Though when you start laughing, Jimin’s incredulous stare turns to you. “Why are you even laughing?!”

Even though his ominous stare is directed at you, you can’t stop laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just too funny!” you say breathlessly through your giggles.

“Too funny?!” he asks incredulously before his gaze turns dark. His eyes have your laughter dying in your throat and instead another feeling rising up at the pit of your stomach.

“I’ll show you funny…” he whispers sinfully before he lunges forward and you forget what you were laughing at for the rest of the day.

There are more important matters to tend to.

[darknessisafriend]

Hi! Can I ask for hcs' about almost every Joaquin character (y'know, Joe, Theo, Arthur, Ray, and many more) when they're on Christmas with you? Going to a party, with your family, staying at home, in a shopping, gettting presents, taking you to a café or a restaurant, putting on christmas decorations at home, what you eat with them or how you enjoy the night and fireworks, stuff like that. Thank you! Love your imagines!

Hiii I wrote and before Christmas so I’m really happy! (I literally spend my days writing it from morning to late in the night) so I hope you will like it!! 

Following HCs with: Arthur/Joker, Commodus, Joe, Abbe, Charlie, Bobby, Bruno, Willie, Max, Theodore, Merrill, Freddie, Ray

Arthur/Joker

-        Christmas is Arthur’s and Joker favorite day of the year after Mardi Gras. It is a day where he can be fully himself, wear one of those ‘ugly’ knitted sweaters, listen to oldies Christmas songs. He feels people more relaxed in the streets, it must be Christmas spirit softening them a little, even in Gotham. And usually you would manage to convince Joker not to make too much trouble and stay by your side all day instead.

 -        You would be staying home together on Christmas Eve. It would be a very simple day because you didn’t have a lot of money but what is important is to be together, and it’s what you would remind to Arthur, no need for something big or fancy, just to be together in Christmas spirit.  

 -        You would buy a few decorations, but you would mostly create them yourself, spending the weekends of December making them with Arthur as you drank hot chocolate. Your flat would be colorful, filled with red and white tinsels and candy canes; you both went to a park and discreetly cut a few pine trees branches to decorate the appartement.

 -        Of course, Arthur would make the surprise to buy a Christmas tree, not too big, but it was more than enough to make you smile with happiness. And you would decorate it with anything that was shiny and candy canes too of course.

 -        For dinner you would not buy anything expensive, but luckily you and Artie were pretty good in cooking and you could manage to make delicious dishes with basic ingredients, roasted potatoes with bacon wrapped turkey and red wine gravy, and you would drink the other half of the bottle while eating. And of course, your favorite part, an apple cake topped with cinnamon and sugar.

 -        You want the night to be as relaxing as possible, you would cook with Arthur while listening to music, exchanging kisses and giggling. Then, after dinner, you two would settle in the sofa, and watch Disney Christmas cartoons while drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows.

 -        The next morning, Arthur or Joker would be the first awake, excited like a kid and eager to open his gift. Yes, usually with Arthur it would be one or two gifts for each of you. Arthur would have worked extra hours and saved as much money as he could to be able to buy you something nice, he bought those cute earrings you had seen once in a store front. Joker would get you more gifts and would get a bit extravagant, but it was really fun. You would get a nice suit or piece of accessories for Joker. For Arthur you would get a warm sweater or scarf so that he wouldn’t get cold when he is outside.

 -        As soon as the gifts were open and breakfast with nice pastries taken; you and Arthur would head to your grandparents’ home where you would be reunited with your parents and cousins as well. Arthur was always a bit nervous about it but once they all greeted him with a hug, he would be smiling all along, hugging back your family and playing with your cousins and nephews. He never had a family but now he had one. Joker had promised you he would never come out on Christmas, it was always sweet Arthur, otherwise your parents would have freaked out.

Commodus

-        Saturnalia was always an amazing holiday. For whole a week the whole Empire would celebrate in honor of the god Saturn. It was a very special day where the People would be pampered by their Emperor and where even slaves would be provided by table service and dining with their masters, all would party and share. Many offerings were made to the god but also to the people.

-         

-        Commodus was always particularly joyful on that holiday. The first day, he always had a hard time not working but then, the next day, the real Commodus was back, joyful and relaxed. He would dedicate his days entirely to you, his nephew and the rest of the family.

-         

-        Commodus would be dressed colorfully, wear red and gold togas and you would usually wear matching clothes, except on Saturnalia eve where you would wear purple and gold, an outfit especially made for that night. You both loved beautiful clothes and it was the occasion to shine even more.

 -        He would make sure that Lucius gets chosen as the Saturnalicius princeps, the Lord of Misrule for the whole week. And Lucius loved it, he was able to prank everyone and especially his dear uncle who at first regretted it, and then you would find him pranking back Lucius or even you, those two were children.  

 -        The whole week, Commodus would offer chariot racing in the grand arena, the greatest charioteer gathered for the most exciting races and with great rewards, as well as gifts for the public. You both enjoyed it, no blood, no deaths, pure entertainment for all.

-         

-        It would be a huge party in the streets of Rome, people singing in the streets naked, drinking and gambling. With the Senate, Commodus would make sure to have a delicious public buffet offered to the people at the Temple of Saturn. He wants everyone to enjoy this holiday. And at night on the eve of Saturnalia, Commodus would organize a big party in the palace, where he would completely let himself go and enjoy the moment.

 -        For dinner, he would get you the finest foods from the whole Empire and even from far beyond, exotic dancers, magicians and entertainers would be invited as well to make this night unforgettable. He would make sure you smile and laugh, that you simply feel home, and it really were.

 -        “Io Saturnalia my love!” he would cheer, all tipsy, a big goofy grin on his face, coming to wrap his arms around you, almost spilling his cup of wine on you as he starts trying to dance, he wouldn’t care if he looked ridiculous, he wanted to hold you in his arms and kiss you. To be honest, drunk Commodus was probably the most adorable thing you ever saw.

 -        Commodus would be very nervous about the presents, he wants the best for you and he wants to impress you even if he knows he doesn’t have to but Commodus feels this need to constantly prove himself and his love for you.

 -        Early in the morning the day before, he would go out in the city in disguise to get your gifts, he doesn’t trust anyone else to get the best for you and choosing your gifts himself is very important to him, he wants something true, something that truly reflects how he feels for you. He would have a ring especially forged for you, with a blue gemstone incrusted in the center of it, reminding you of his gorgeous blue outfit that you loved so much. And for his nephew, his first real sword to train with him. As for you, you would get him a very fine wine from Greece and then a rather…sensual that you would were in your bedroom that night, you would be his gift in a way; and it would made him even crazier for you.

 -        After this long night of celebration, you and Commodus would take your time and just sleep as long as you could, it was the last day before getting back to work and you wanted him fully rested and ready to take care of the Empire as ardently as before. You had opened your gifts at midnight so there was nothing waiting to be done, except perhaps Lucius who was eager to take his first lesson from his uncle, but the boy was clever and let you enjoy your husband a few hours more….Io Saturnalia.

Joe 

-        Christmas with Joe would be quiet, something peaceful at home, it would mean a moment of full relaxion for Joe and perhaps the only moment where he feels like he doesn’t have to be on his guard all the time.

 -        You would spend Christmas Eve’s afternoon in an animal shelter with Joe, you two would pamper the pets and take them on a walk outside. You had discovered Joe rather enjoyed spending time with animals, especially dogs, it seemed to sooth him and you were thinking of adopting one of the dogs as his Christmas gift. So, this moment would be a good occasion as well to see which one he preferred.

 -        You would usually spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with your family, just your parents. It did good to Joe to be with other people. And your parents loved him, your father was a veteran and they understood each other. And then your mother just loved him and always offered him more cookies.

 -        You would do part of the shopping with Joe, especially to buy ingredients to cook for him and your family and then buy a few decorations. Joe would shop separately for your gift of course. And he would be in charge to get the Christmas tree and somehow he always ended up picking one that was too tall to fully fit in the living room, so he would have to climb on the stepladder and shorten the top of the trunk  and you couldn’t help but laugh. Poor Joe, he always picked up the biggest and most beautiful trees.

 -        This year Joe got you a few books, fantasy and sci-fi stories. It wasn’t his genre at all, but he knew you enjoyed it, and he hoped he had chosen well, he had made a research on internet to see which were better. As for you, well, you had gotten him the dog he was fond of at the shelter.

 -        You and Joe would cook with your parents, you would take care of the dessert with your dad while Joe and your mother did the rest. It wouldn’t be anything too complicated but there were many dishes to fill in everyone and especially Joe’s great appetite. As your mother said, a big man like him needed strength to carry on. And he truly managed to eat everything she was serving him, which you never thought was possible.

 -        As for the Christmas decoration of your house, it would be discreet but enough to remind of the Christmas spirit. The Christmas tree, a few tinsels on the walls or the banister and that was it. For everything, Joe liked to remain discreet. Still, you managed to get him to wear a Christmas sweater at home and with your family and he was the most adorable like that.

 -        The night would be spent taking your time dinning with your family, and then they would light a fire in the chimney, and drink mulled wine while talking about the many things that happened during the year. Then, your dad would put on some vinyl, oldies Christmas song; and you couldn’t resist but to get Joe to dance with, a slow dance, pressed against each other as you listened to the music.

 -        The next morning, you were the first one awake, excited to open your gifts. Well, you thought you were the first one awake, but you would soon realize Joe wasn’t sleeping by your side, maybe he was eager too. However, when you reached downstairs, you found him cooking a marvelous breakfast and not just for you but your parents as well, already wearing the Christmas sweater you had gotten him.

Abbe de Coulmier 

-        Christmas was obviously a very important day for the Abbe, the birth of the Christ and a day of love. Which meant a lot of work for him, he was a priest after all, and he wanted to give love to people around him and the people in need. And he also wanted to make this day special for his patients, many had been abandoned by their families, and he wanted to make them feel at home, celebrating this important day together.

 -        He would encourage his patients to create decorations, some patients even crafting wood, others picking up pine tree branches to ornate the doors of their cells. Then, you and Madeleine would spend the day cooking for the dinner, the Abbe as always had managed the finances excellently and you had extra money to buy more food and ingredients and cook something more sophisticated for this day and even Yule logs for everyone. You would even convince him to cook biscuits with the patients, it made them very happy and also seeing him covered in flour was adorable, you couldn’t stop giggling and teasing him.

 -        Then, towards the end of the afternoon you would help him greet homeless and poor for the evening and night, distributing blankets to them, and sharing a warm dinner with them and a shelter for the night. So, this was a very big day for him and slightly exhausting, but the Abbe was a workaholic, he lived for other people and he loved helping.

 -        Charenton had become his family so there was no reason for him to come out of the Asylum. And also, you were there, by his side. And he loved you, even if he knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t resist the temptation you were, and he wanted to make this day special for you too.

 -        He had very little money, but he had still managed to go in town, and buy you a beautiful blue scarf to keep you warm in the corridors of Charenton.  As for you, you had saved as much money as you could to buy him this beautiful chain with a little golden cross, he could wear it around his neck all day along, underneath his cassock.

 -        It would be a very heartwarming night where everyone would be reunited in the canteen, a beautiful fire lit in the chimney. Everyone would sit close to it and listen to the Marquis, standing in front of it, telling funny stories and also Christmas stories which he had agreed to tell after the irresistible request from his favorite priest. As the Marquis was getting everyone’s attention, you felt the Abbe discreetly brush his fingers against yours, to finally entwine your hands, making you blush, you would exchange a look full of love, tonight he would spend the night in your bed.

 -        To end the night, he would celebrate the midnight mass, patients and employees gathered and singing songs celebrating the day of the birth of Jesus Christ. It would be a great moment to remind everyone the values of Christmas, compassion, sharing, kindness and love.

 -        The next morning you would both be awakened by the excited cheering of the patients, eager to open their gifts. He couldn’t help but chuckle, it seems you two won’t be able to make love again this morning, but he would find another way, probably request you to his office for some reason. It wouldn’t stop him from filling your face with kisses before getting up and putting his cassock on. As you both opened your gifts with everyone else, you would know which one was his gift and he would know which one is yours; the look he would give you would be more powerful than words and you would smile in return, you felt blessed.

 Charlie 

-        Charlie wasn’t a Christmas guy, not all. Mostly because he kept bad memories from it, his father made it hell for him and his brother, and his mother too. Even if she had always tried to make them smile, making them eggnog, discreetly slipping a gift in their bed in the morning.

 -        Naturally as an adult, he wasn’t really down for it, except getting drunk in a Saloon. But you were there to teach him another way to celebrate Christmas, and it would be a way he would surely enjoy; and he would end up with Christmas spirit.

 -        So, obviously you would spend the day with his family, his brother and his mother. And Charlie wouldn’t be so opposed to it; at first, he might complain and say he doesn’t feel like going. But as soon as he sees his family, he smiles and greet them with a hug, he would never admit it out loud but he missed them and Christmas would be the perfect occasion to spend time together.

 -        You would have to accompany Charlie to the different stores for Christmas shopping, he always played tough guys and now he didn’t want to go shopping alone, it made you retain a laugh, your man was dumb sometimes.  Of course, once he finds something that could be a great gift for you, he would do his best to hide it behind his back, and most of the time pretend he didn’t find anything, you would roll your eyes, you knew his lying face but it was adorable. For his mother, he would some embroidered hankies, another scarf for his brother, just to tease him and for you, an expensive perfume from San Francisco. As for him, you would spend a lot of time and money with specialist to have a prosthetic arm designed for him, he still had a hard time with it and perhaps it would help him feel better and for when he rides again.

 -        You and his mother would cook, both men were terrible at cooking anything else than beans. So, out of question that they came into the kitchen, especially since last time where Charlie managed to eat half of the cookies you had made. You would also cook apples pies, and a roasted turkey that the two men had hunted earlier.

 -        As for decorations, the two men had managed to cut a pine tree that resembles a Christmas tree. You would all together decorate the tree, thanks to their mother pushing them to participate. It would be filled with red ribbons, berries, paper strings, yarn, and other homemade decoration Eli had brought. You would even hang a few cookies in the tree.

 -        When the night came, a fire was lit to keep everyone warm, after all the winter was extremely cold in this part of the country. You would eat joyfully, the boys telling their most epic and finniest anecdotes. Obviously, alcohol would be part of the night, though you tried to keep Charlie just tipsy, except if you were drunk too and joined him in messing around. You would end the night singing joyful Christmas songs together.

 -        The next morning, Charlie would be the one waking up everyone, he would even try to guess what his gifts were while everyone was still asleep. “But Charlie it’s 7 am…on Christmas.” you yawned, you couldn’t believe he was excited like a child for it, but in a way your understood him, Charlie had never celebrated Christmas and soon his brother was up as well, eager to unwrap his gifts. Charlie would be left speechless as he unwraps his gift and discovers the prosthetic arm, the only thing he would do is to hug you tightly, burying his head in your neck, and placing a kiss on your skin, before letting you put the prosthetic on him.

Bobby Green 

-        Christmas for Bobby had become another mean to party, not as much as for New Year though. He just loved to enjoy life to the fullest unlike his family meetings where everyone was more uptight than the others.

-        So obviously, Bobby would much prefer to spend Christmas just with you, not even with his friends from El Caribe. Though, later in the evening, after dinner, you two might head to the club a little but not to work, simply dance and have fun.  

 -        You would do Christmas decorations shopping together trying to find which color would fit the best for this year; obviously you had a thing for red because it was a color that went well with Bobby too and you picked up gold as a second color; yes, this would be perfect. The very same day, arms full of bags, you would get a Christmas tree, a big fluffy one which would proudly wear the decorations you had bought.  

 -        Then, another day, Bobby would spend quite some time shopping, thanks to his job, money wasn’t a problem, but the problem was finding something perfect for you. Bobby would get you gold earrings with a little diamond on each, and the design would perfectly match with your face and he would also buy some sexy lingerie for you both to enjoy. You would get him an earring as well, the coincidence was rather funny, but it was a detail you particularly loved about him.

 -        As the evening comes, Bobby would bring you to a nice restaurant in the city center, it was a rather fancy one but not too much to avoid uptight people who couldn’t bear a laugh. It was fancy enough to fix the event in your memories. And you would enjoy a classic feast, and even Foie gras and dishes with truffles. Obviously, you would drink champagne, it would be a night of ‘excess and pleasure’ as Bobby said, and you loved this intensity.

 -        The decorations would mostly be on the Christmas tree, then you would spread little decorations everywhere, on cupboards and counters and then add many glitters which would be hell to clean up afterwards but you recognized Bobby’s great taste in decorations, he knew how to make it joyful and give a party atmosphere to a place.

 -        After the restaurant, you would head to El Caribe, at least you knew it was the best place to party in all safety. You and Bobby would just go wild, dancing pressed against each other, exchanging kisses and getting horny in no time; to the point that you would soon go back home to make love right away. Then, late in the night you couldn’t resist but open your gifts, giggling like children. So, there wouldn’t be really a Christmas morning for you, just sleeping late in each other’s arms, and it would be the best morning ever.

Bruno Weiss 

-        For Bruno, Christmas was like any other day. He was Jewish but not practicing so he wasn’t really celebrating in any way. And he was often alone on Christmas, his girls always finding a gentleman or another way to celebrate without him. And he had expected you spend Christmas away, with your family in San Francisco; but you surprised when you asked him what he would like to do with you for Christmas, it had made him so happy that you thought about him, even surrounded by his girls, he had always been a lonely man.

 -        Bruno would spoil you during this day, actually he would dedicate his time entirely to you and that starting from the morning. He wasn’t great at cooking breakfast but at least he tried, and that only made you happy. And you were even more when he announced you that he would spend the whole day with you to prepare Christmas.

 -        He would rather enjoy shopping with you, his woman, walking hands in hands from shop to shop, his arms getting fuller of bags each time. Once again, he would spoil you, trying to fulfil you every desires, though Bruno wasn’t a rich man either; so, when you showed him an item that was too expensive, you would see it instantly, the way, he avoided your gaze, an embarrassed look on his face, he wished he could buy you anything you desired. “Hey darling, you know what? I don’t need it, it’s all good, don’t worry.” You would reassure him, tenderly kissing him on the lips. He swore to himself he would make you feel like the luckiest women in the world when you would open your gifts.

 -        You would buy many items to put in the Christmas tree and a few garlands but the most important purchase had been this new thing, electric light garlands, you had not doubts it would look perfect on the tree, and what better than to have the latest modern house items? And about that, Bruno completely agreed.

 -        Bruno would get you a new dress and makeup as well; it was one of his favorite things, to watch you put on your makeup, making yourself even more beautiful than you already were and that view was only for him. And you would buy him a new pocket watch, not one he bought on the black market for nothing, one with a beautiful design and your initials engraved inside the watch cover, so there would always be a bit of you with him.

 -        On Christmas Eve, you would stay home together, you would cook dinner and he would try to help. However, Bruno doesn’t have much patience so his help would be rather limited, and you would soon tell him to sit down and just keep you company. You would cook a roasted chicken, cookies and a fruit cake. However, on Christmas day, for lunch he would bring you to a restaurant, fancier than the usual restaurant he goes to; you would get smoked salmon and cocktails with champagne. And he had to admit, it was nice to have celebrations from time to time, and Christmas spirit was perhaps starting to grow on him.

 -        For the night, Bruno was more inclined to just stay home, but you wanted to show him something more, and you managed to convince him to go to a jazz club, at least to listen to the Christmas songs recreated with jazz stylings. After a while, you saw your boyfriend relaxed, so you put your hand on his, gently stroking it and by the look in your eyes, he would understand and accept to dance with you, a slow dance, embracing each other.

 -        The next morning; the air was rather chill, the both of you waking up slowly, caressed by the warm rays of the sun, snuggling a bit more in his embrace as you felt the air cooler than usual, it had snowed. You would happily open your gifts as you shared a coffee, wrapped in your warm bathrobe, a soft smile was on Bruno’s face, this peace, warmth; Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.

Willie Gutirrez 

-        Willie absolutely loved Christmas and didn’t hide it. It was a great occasion to spend time with you and your family and everyone knew Wille was a family man. He wasn’t the most churchgoing man, but this day would have a religious meaning for him as well. And actually, he would make sure the apartment you shared would be decorated for the 1st of December and he would get an advent calendar with chocolates, he loves it and you would have never thought that about Willie but it was really cute.

 -        That meant that you would spend Christmas holidays at your parents’ home. It was nice to travel a bit and change of air. And your parents just loved Willie, this hard-working young man who satisfied your every desires and who was kind and funny, to them he was perfect; and to you too of course, after all you were madly in love.

 -        Obviously, you would shop together, for everything: decorations, gifts for you and your family, food and chocolates. You would tease each other, trying to guess the gift hidden in the bag of the other, and you would have to wait Christmas morning to know which was even more exciting.  

 -        The apartment would be perfectly decorated, as if a home stylist had done it, silver and gold, the Christmas tree big and fluffy and perfectly decorated, the nativity scene underneath it. You were very proud of your decorations.

 -        Before joining your parents’ house, you and Willie would make cookies. But it would be hard to focus for you, Willie was really sexy, wearing an apron, a comfy sweater and a Christmas hat just to tease you because he knew the effect it had on you. Obviously, you would end up having sex on the counter between Christmas cookies. Once you would have joined your parents Willie would insist on helping out your mother, which would make her fall for him even more, and he would drink a glass of whisky with your father the same time while talking politics; yes, he had completely seduced them, to your greatest pleasure.

 -        Willie would also surprise you all by taking out an expensive bottle of champagne one of his acquaintances would have gifted him. Other than that, you would eat a rather classic Christmas feast, braised pork, vegetables and a few canapés.

 -        After dinner, you would all settle in the sofas in the living room, you snuggled against Willie, drinking hot spiced apple cider as your parents told your boyfriend memories of your childhood, some rather embarrassing actually but it made him laugh and he loved knowing those things about you. Your parents would be the first to head to bed; you and Willie would stay a bit more, exchanging slow and tender kisses until it was time to sleep and let the magic of Christmas happen.

 -        The next morning, you would be awakened by more kisses from Willie, feather-like kisses on your face, his fingers gently pushing away the strands of hair on your face. “Don’t you want to find out what Santa got you?” he’d tease you. And you would truly hesitate between considering him your Santa gift and getting up, and he knew it. And after a little you would both finally get up, happily opening your gifts. Willie would be smiling all the time, he  had family who loved him now.

Max California 

-        Max celebrates Christmas but not in the typical way to do it. For him it is an overrated celebration, with a lot of fuss with all these decorations and Christmas movies on TV all day along and the whole picking up Christmas tree imperative. Also, Max doesn’t blend in very well with Christmas atmosphere with his look that he keeps all year along. People tend to look at him in a strange way when Christmas comes, seeing a guy all dressed in black with piercings and tattoos.

 -        It would be really fun when you boyfriend would realize that you are used to celebrate Christmas and that you rather enjoy the atmosphere. You would spare him Christmas songs and put on your headphones though you wouldn’t sometimes, just to embarrass him.

 -        You would celebrate Christmas just the two of you, you preferred to take baby steps with him, family gatherings on those type of celebrations made him uneasy because people were no fun, he couldn’t make his usual sex jokes or talk about the funniest things that happened back at the sex shop.

 -        You would manage to convince him to get a Christmas tree, and he got one in a pot so that you could plant it somewhere later. And you would accept that he chooses the decorations for it and thankfully you had no guests because this was hilarious and outrageous. Bulbs that looks like boobs, leather collars and other kinky stuff he had gotten at the shop; at least it was unique and very much Max California.

 -        As gifts, you would buy him more clothes that would perfectly match his style and you would get him a new sound system for his guitar, you didn’t want him to renounce to his passion and his dream of being a successful musician one day. As for Max well…. he would get you a few sexy things and also makeup that would perfectly match your face and look, you always loved when he did that, he was better than you at picking up those products, he really had great taste.

 -        For Christmas eve dinner you would order delivery but something out of the ordinary, something a bit fancy, your kitchen wasn’t the best to cook anyway, small and poorly equipped. And actually, you and Max would go for one of the most expensive Japanese restaurants of LA, and damn that was worth it, exotic and unique for this special night.

 -        You would move the little table to the window and open it, giving you a little view on the city. Since you two had moved from his rather questionable flat, you lived in a much better and beautiful neighborhood. After dinner you would head outside for a walk hand in hand by the beach, sharing a cigarette under the cool air and watching a few decorated store fronts; Max always finding ways to make a dirty joke.

 -        The next morning, you would wake up in your favorite way, Max tracing kisses along your thighs, that rascal never forgot his priorities, you thought, giggling sleepily and well, Christmas could wait a little more.  Obviously, after this little morning fun, you would go open your gifts under the tree while Facetiming with your parents “Oh my God Max!” you burst out laughing, you couldn’t show this gift to your parents “But baby it was a limited Christmas edition!” he’d reply, making everyone laugh even more.

 Theodore Twombly

-        Knowing how romantic and old-fashioned Theodore is, he absolutely loved Christmas. It had been a rough period for when he was single and without anyone to celebrate Christmas with but Amy. Celebrating with a friend is much different than with your lover and family. So, he was more than excited to celebrate it with you.

 -        With Theodore you would get up before sunrise and take the car to drive to his chalet in the mountains. That already put you in the full Christmas atmosphere, it was sunny and full of snow, so much that for a while you thought you wouldn’t be able to access the chalet.

 -        You would spend Christmas eve and the next day together, just the two of you, in his chalet, lost in the mountains, it would become your little heaven frozen in time where only what you felt for each other mattered.

 -        Theodore would have shopped for your gifts the whole year, but he would have wrapped them a few days before Christmas, to keep the magic of the celebration. He would have gotten you all sorts of gifts, from an artisanal wooden carved object, to the latest video game you wanted. And you would have gotten a game too but what people call now old-fashioned one, a board game. Those were rather expensive today because people much preferred immersive virtual games now, but you were sure he would love it.

 -        Theodore would have already all the decorations you could possibly need, ready in boxes in the basement, you were honestly surprised by the choice in colors he had. You would both decorate the whole chalet, inside and outside with classic garlands and electrical garlands to, it was so much more beautiful than the holographic ones. This year, you would go for blue and white and also add candy canes in the tree because it was just too good not to put them. Speaking of the Christmas tree you would go get it in a pine tree nursery nearby.  And the great thing was that you could chose it and cut it yourself, though you left that task to Theodore, despite several tries you couldn’t manage to hit the same spot each time; it was physical but you both really had fun.

 -        You would cook Christmas eve dinner together, already dressed in your warm and comfy pajamas; the fire lit in the chimney. You would make tons of different cookies with hot chocolate and marshmallows. Theodore was vegetarian and you too so you would cook a wonderful vegetarian dinner, something simple and delicious that wasn’t too complicated to make so that you could spend the day enjoying other things as well.

 -        You would have dinner with candle lights while listening to oldies Christmas songs, it would be super romantic and you couldn’t stop smiling all the time and Theodore felt the same, it was a perfect Christmas.  Then, you would go on the balcony, wrapped in a warm blanket, Theodore hugging you from behind as you looked at the stars, the sky was clear and it was a stunning view. Actually, you don’t know how much time you stayed there, despite the cold, you both couldn’t stop looking. Though after a while it would be really cold and you would run inside to snuggle in front of the TV and watch Christmas movies, you barely payed attention to it, too busy exchanging tender kisses until you felt it was time to go to sleep.

 -        The following morning, after opening your gifts, the both of you were overjoyed with what you had gotten. And soon, your parents would join you and Theodore for a few days and they would also take you cross-country skiing, to the great joy of Theodore….he wasn’t a sport guy at all but he would follow you anywhere in the world.

Merrill Hess

-        Christmas for Merill meant family time, he already spent a significant amount of time with his nephews and brother but less since you had moved together in a house farther down the neighborhood. And also, he was often away since he had integrated one of the best baseball team of the country. So, Christmas was a great way to be reunited all together.

-        You would spend the whole day in family, playing the snow with your nephews, obviously Merill would start a snowball fight, and he was the best at it, great aim and great strength especially when you received it right in the face. And you, on your side struggled to reach your target, and you couldn’t even run after him to get closer, he ran damn fast! At least your nephews laughed a lot at this. Afterwards, you would make a snowman competition, you and Abigail against Merill and Morgan, and Graham, would decide of the winners and it was your team who won, and the price was extra cookies.  

 -        Merill and Graham would go shopping while you watched after the children, who didn’t know at all that Santa was shopping. And in the meantime, with your nephews you would get the many boxes of decoration out of the basement and decorate the whole house so that that they would have the surprise when they come back. Though you would leave the nativity scene to Graham and his children, it was very important for them.

 -        In the meantime, the two brothers would not only buy the gifts but also food for the dinner, a menu that everyone had composed together. You had already your gift for Merill, a sled and a few DVDs of his favorite movies, as for him he would get you a tartan rug and the finest chocolates he could find, he knew how much you loved chocolate so he didn’t look at the price.

 -        For the Christmas tree you would all go together to pick it up, the children wanted the biggest one and Merill was always part of the children when it came to the Christmas tree. You and Graham would be more rational and manage to calm them down a bit and get them to chose one that would fit in the living room and 6’7 wasn’t bad at all.

 -        After playing a while outside and being frozen now, you would get to cooking, a great way to warm up again. Of course, the children were learning to cook so they participated in the elaboration of the dinner, it was a joyful moment where everyone had their importance and helped. Stuffed turkey, carrots, potatoes and an apple pie for dessert and everything in big portions because of the two growing up and the sportsman that was Merill.

 -        The night would be full of laughter and joy, after dinner you would settle by the fire and you tell Christmas tales with Graham while the three others were sitting crossed legged and listening to you, the little ones snuggled against their uncle. And then, all together you would watch Disney Christmas cartoons, there was nothing better to relax and dream of the wonderful gifts you would get tomorrow. After putting your nephews to bed, you and Merill would sleep back in his old room, reminding you of good memories, when you had started dating and your first time making love with him, it was very nice to spend Christmas here and you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

 -        The next morning, you would be awakened by your nephews, running in the corridor and shouting that Santa had come and that many gifts were waiting to be unwrapped. You chuckled, thinking of Graham who had waited for them to be asleep to put the gifts underneath the tree. You wouldn’t take breakfast first, they were too impatient, and they didn’t seem very hungry, preferring to test their gifts together, including Merill with his sled, he could finally compete with his nephews as the big child he could be. But before you would convince them to eat their giant breakfast so they could play for hours in the snow.

Freddie Quell 

-        It’s not that Freddie didn’t like Christmas, but he never celebrated it in a normal way, from his terrible childhood to Christmas in the army which was mostly a lot of drinking and sex. So, in a way, this would be his first real Christmas, with you and his family-in-law.

 -        He would let you completely guide him through Christmas eve and day. He was a bit grumpy at first because he was frustrated; he wanted to fit in and understand how to do things right. He wanted you to be happy with your man.

 -        So, it would be best if you spent Christmas eve, just the two of you; Take baby steps with Freddie and tomorrow spend Christmas with your family where he would have to bear the shitty jokes of your uncle. You would take him outside to walk hands in hands a look at the store fronts especially decorated for Christmas, just to show him the colors and decorations, the joy of the adults and children looking at it, in short introduce him to the Christmas atmosphere. You wouldn’t stay for too long because you knew he couldn’t stand still and had a limited patience but still, you were pleasantly surprised by how calm he was, a boyish smile forming on his lips sometimes, it was great step forward and you were eager to spend this day with him.  

 -        He would be the first to suggest going inside the shops and buy a few decorations for your house. Though, once inside he would be a bit overwhelmed by the crowd but also the crazy choice there was. He wouldn’t let go of your hand as you took him through the various alleys, he would be rather undecided about the color to pick, so you went for blue and gold, and he help you to pick up the shape and designs of the garlands and bulbs. And he was happy to carry out all the bags.  

 -        “Do you need to go to another shop for a gift?” you asked him once outside of that shop “No, I actually have it already.” He replied looking away, he had his gifts for you for a while because he had taken great care to choose something that would fit, he had gotten you a dress and expensive perfume. You would look at him excitedly, the way he took care of you was always very attractive to you “Well, Mister Quell if you could wait for me in the car, I have one more thing to buy…” your murmured giving him a sensual kiss on the lips, he would chuckle already knowing how it would end once at home but also happy that you were about to buy his gift, a nice kit to make cocktails and expensive alcohol that he would savor with you, reasonably.  

 -        You would stay home, you thought he would want to go to the restaurant but actually he preferred to be alone with you and have no distractions. You would decorate the house together, while he actually sang the Christmas songs everyone sang on the vessel, it was joyful songs and it was nice hear Freddie sing, it was an aspect of him you encouraged to come out. And while he finished decorating you cooked the fabulous dinner you would share, and which remained classic. Though soon you would feel his arms wrap around your waist and his lips tracing kisses along you neck; he couldn’t help it, whatever you did, you were sexy.

 -        Freddie was an unpredictable man and full of surprises. When you thought you would spend the evening in his arms at home, he would actually take you to the rooftop of a building and you didn’t understand why until a firework started and he had brought you where you would have the best view on it. Your eyes were shining all along and you snuggled in Freddie’s arms as you watch the show with him. And you would conclude the night by making love there, at the risk of getting a cold, but you didn’t care. In the end, it was Freddie who guided you through an amazing Christmas.

Ray Elwood

-        Ray wouldn’t get a long permission for Christmas holidays, but at least he got a few days because you two were engaged. He was excited to spend Christmas outside of the base and with you, he had missed you so much, so much time away from you, only able to write to you or call you without being able to see you or hold you in his arms; he had missed you terribly and that was more important to him than celebrating Christmas.

 -        When you reached Germany, you had no idea of how your holidays with Ray would go, it was your first time in Europe and he had given you absolutely no indications of the program, if there was one. And that’s because he had a big surprise for you. You don’t know how much time it lasted when you embraced each other at the airport but to feel his warmth, his scent wrapped around you, his lips on yours, it was the best Christmas gift you could ever receive. After that, he would bring you to the base to introduce you to his friends and also to his boss, who had become a friend in a way, but a friend he also used to do his little business. After, he hadn’t been sent here for nothing but what could you do? You couldn’t stop loving him, and as far as you knew, he didn’t kill anyone, so that was good.

 -        And he would be really proud to show his beautiful fiancée to everyone, showing that you were real and a real knockout who was engaged to him. And his buddies were really nice and fun, they made you feel comfortable in this place full of men. However, once you two were alone again, he took out of his jacket two plane tickets for Paris “Spoiler alert, that’s your Christmas gift, a couple of days together in Paris.” He revealed to you, he had more than enough money for it and he wanted to spoil you, and he knew Paris was one of your dreams. You would be speechless, what a wonderful surprise “I prefer to tell you that my gift won’t be so crazy.” You chuckled, your eyes wet with emotion “Don’t worry baby, you are my gift.” He would reassure you, filling your face with kisses.

 -        And once in Paris, you realized Ray had really gone crazy, a superb hotel room, already decorated and even with Christmas tree in it, and gifts from the hotel like chocolates and perfumes. Though, you didn’t visit the city first, as soon as the door of the bedroom was closed and that the effect of surprise had passed, you literally jumped on Ray, the both ending making love passionately, again and again until you were satisfied, actually it didn’t change much from previous Christmas, there was always a lot of sex involved, for your greatest pleasure.

 -        And to make up for lost time, Ray would have the great idea to book a table on a barge on the Seine, it would enable the both of you to see the most beautiful monuments of the city, beautifully lit during the night and while you ate a typical French Christmas dinner and of course with great wine and champagne.

 -        After dinner, you would get off the boat and go watch the beautiful and famous store fronts of the Gallerie Lafayette incredibly decorated for Christmas, Paris was just amazingly decorated and the Christmas atmosphere was very present, it was perfect. Then, you would manage to convince Ray to go Ice skating with you, and after a few kisses and puppy eyes, he wouldn’t be able to resist and would just agree. The truth is that he was really bad at it and fell all the time on his behind, you were pretty much the same, but that’s where the fun was, trying to skate decently without falling. And the both of you would end up laughing a lot, clinging onto each other and ending up falling on each other.  

 -        The day had been exhausting but worth it, it was the best Christmas holidays you ever had, and it was only starting, you still had a few days more with your fiancée. And despite exhaustion you would make love again, the Christmas atmosphere in the bedroom making it even more magical. And Ray had to admit that it really gave him the Christmas spirit and with you he was really enjoying this celebration.  And even more so when he woke up the next morning and found underneath the Christmas tree a gift for him, he picked it up and went back in the bed to open it next to you. It wasn’t something big and flashy but it had more value to his eyes, you had made a photo album of you and him, all the pictures you took together since you were together and at the end of it you had included sexy pictures of you that you had made just for him; he would have a big smile, he was loving Christmas.

Also you my dear readers, tell me with which of these characters you would prefer to celebrate Christmas with!!

Tag list: @hopelessdisasterr @skaravile @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @beautifulyoungprospect @stellargirlie @rosebloodstuffandthangss @clowndaddyfleck @jaylovesbats @niniitah-ah @dreamingmaria @sagyunaro @just-a-fucking-comedy @spaceinvader @radio-hoo-ha @lady-carnivals-stuff @sierraclegane @legojorny @lemondedeniname @hvproductions @syvellsworld @charlie-sisters @papercut-paranoia @jokerflecker @cigznvalentines @help-i-am-obssessed @arthurfleckjoker2019 @theartistdetective @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend @fleckcmscott @obssessedandthirsty @ridiculousnerd @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @welcometomyhiddlesfandom @sanguinandoscrivo @valentina15 @phoenixbaby88 @captain-el-writes @thedamchii @ninathefandomcollector @kiddastle @lovesickforjoaqvin @joaquins-angel @alexsportello @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @bring-your-holy-water   @rajacero @morrisonmercuryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @the-joaq-is-extra

[arabnico]

hello esteemed audience today i offer you: nico christmas hcs <3

- their cabin isn’t really heavily decorated because bright lights get overwhelming but he has a small christmas tree decorated with just a simple star put up and at the bottom of it there’s the nativity ikon

- he gets reaaaally hype over christmas music

- specifically religious arabic christmas music

- like it’s barely 3:19 PM on the 24th and they are blasting “laylit eid”, “de’ou jras el eid” and “laylata el milad”

- if anyone in xyr general vicinity was unaware of fairuz and majida el roumi’s existences Now They Are. more than they would’ve liked

- they spend christmas eve with the children at camp who don’t have anyone to come back home to and to celebrate the night with. gods who may get angry at a religious celebration not dedicated to them be DAMNED he is giving those kids a happy joyful familial christmas celebration fight xem if you dare to

- they’re dionysus’ favorite by far (he won’t admit it but it’s true) anyway so he reluctantly (or not) indulges xem in Everything

- there’s obviously a secret santa going on, except everyone just gift each other handmade stuff because that’s more <3 christmas spirit-y <3

- nico sews something pretty for theirs

- he gets from his a clay vase-like thing with stuff like snakes and bats and turtles and all of those niche animals they adore painted on it and xe is Obsessed and very happy (result: happy stimming)

- dionysus just Looks at all these campers that he supposedly cannot stand and he’s just

- well they’re kids they deserve a happy celebration like every other kid on this forsaken earth and some good old christmas gifts alright styx what am i doing do i want to endure this punishment for the rest of FOREVER- 

- anyway fingers snappy snap and each camper’s got whichever present they desired shyly in the back of their mind

- nico’s got that look on his face that’s like “oh i am going to tease you so much about this in therapy aksumu bi’allah el aazim i am never letting this go-”

- anyway chb celebration over (for nico at least)

- nico goes to the midnight mass

- he says to everyone he passes by عيد ميلاد مجيد" و كل عيد و انتو بخير" (glorious christmas and happy and healthy returns) because they’re your local devoted polite christian teenager that your parents wish you were more like

- also yes their church is mostly frequented by arab christians and the mass is in arabic i make the rules and enforce them

- the church is alight with candles everywhere, their shy heat is overpowered by the warmth radiated by the people attending

- the room is filled by the echoes of chants (some he already knew, some xe learned with time) to which they sing along

- he’s filled with so much peace and comfort and happiness but also that dull ache caused by the everlasting reminder that his mama and bianca aren’t here to celebrate with him and it hurts still but if they’re in his heart then they’re celebrating with him. the heat that surrounds xem feels like the warmth of a motherly and sisterly embrace and he basks in the illusion of it for a second too long

- they stay after the mass ends, the church is relatively empty so xe just prays

- prays for his mama and bianca and their memory, prays for hazel and reyna, prays for rachel and piper, for all xyr friends, for the kids at camp half blood and everyone else in the world. also prays for xemself and just talks to allah about everything and anything that comes to mind and that he needs to get off their chest

- he just likes praying, the feeling of conversing with allah, the comfort and how less alone he feels

- xe kisses the icons of the iconostasis and lights two candles before going back to his cabin

- he spends the actual christmas day alternating between spending time with hazel, reyna, piper, and rachel

- because christmas is meant to be celebrated with family and they’re his

- piper compliments xyr dark green sweater and black wool tights and mahogany red skirt (christmas colors but make it less flashy and eye straining and more nico’s style) because they’re rocking their outfit as always

- they are also wearing xyr allah and cross necklaces as always

- xe gives all of his favorite lesbians girls the gifts xe got for them

- for hazel he got a pair of demonias (yes hazel is goth she’s very cool)

- for reyna he gets plushes two dog ones and one horse and xe messes with them a little so they look more like her real “pets”

- for piper he gets a pirate hat (they bonded over the childhood niche interest that is pirates methinks) with sooo many personalized patches

- for rachel they sewed a colorful and customized bag for her art supplies

- nico bakes maamool <3 his favorite are the tamr (date) ones because the texture and the taste is just superior

just !!! overall happy nico having a happy christmas after reconciling themself with religion and <333 yes xe deserves

[phoenix-downer]

Christmas Presence

~1400 words. Contains spoilers for Melody of Memory. SoKai. Sora POV, Kairi POV. Romance, Fluff, Pining, Mutual Pining, Christmas, Christmas Fluff. Merry Christmas everyone! 

Christmas was Sora’s favorite day of the year. The festivities, the gift-giving, the celebrations, the food, the time with friends and family. All of it was special, but especially getting to be with Kairi. The last thing he was gonna do was leave her alone on Christmas Eve. 

There was just one catch. He was sort of dead. Well, not dead, not really, but he sure wasn’t in the Realm of Light. And that would make seeing Kairi kinda difficult. He was still wandering around in some place that was like the Final World, and it was dark. The only light was from the stars. 

At least he hadn’t run into that Yozora guy again. He shuddered and sat down. That was the one downside about trying to contact Kairi. There was a 50/50 shot he might wind up in that strange city again (Quadro-something?), face to face with Yozora, who would no doubt try to “save” (more like kill) him… again.

Still, if he could get through to Kairi, this would be worth it. Never again would he leave her in the lurch. He’d promised. He promised he’d protect her, be there for her. He’d failed her once, and he swore on his life he’d never fail her again.

And yeah, it wasn’t like her life was in danger this time around, but… Christmas was important. He’d already missed too many Christmases, and he didn’t want to miss another one. 

He lay back and closed his eyes, resting her lucky charm over his heart. “Kairi, please, hear my voice.” 

The only way he had a shot at this was if she was currently asleep. It was Christmas Eve though, so maybe she would be. 

This was his one Christmas wish. Surely it wasn’t too much to ask. 

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Kairi gazed out the window at the stars. Little snowflakes danced in the air as snow fell on the Land of Departure. Christmas Eve felt strange away from home, but it wouldn’t be much of a celebration with Riku still searching for Sora and Sora himself still MIA. 

“Goodnight Kairi!” Aqua called, poking her head in the room. Kairi had been staying here at the castle since her training commenced a few months ago, and Aqua had kindly provided her with her own room. It got a little drafty up here sometimes, but the cozy fireplace in the corner plus a well-placed Fire spell took care of that.

“Merry Christmas,” Kairi replied, then abandoned her perch by the window to climb into bed. Christmas used to be her favorite time of year, but now that Sora was gone…

She huddled under the blankets and sighed. “Sora, what I wouldn’t give to hear your voice. To see your smile and hear your laughter.” 

But that was impossible. She’d sensed his presence a couple of times since he’d first come to her aid in her dream battle against Xehanort, but never once had he been able to speak. Still, it was worth a try. 

“If you can hear me… I’m listening.”

She let her eyes close. In a world without him, she dreamed of him, and he dreamed of her, and that was where, fate allowing, they would meet again.  

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A huge smile spread across Sora’s face. Kairi was here. She was wandering the Final World, searching for him and calling his name. 

“Kairi!” he cried as he sprang to his feet. Yeah, she couldn’t hear his voice, but her face lit up all the same. She could sense he was here too. 

She paused a few feet away from him, then smiled and spread her arms wide. His body wasn’t really here, but his heart was, and she always let him borrow her body for a little while, much like he’d once sheltered her heart. 

He took a deep breath and called on the connection of their hearts. A moment later, he was materializing around her, able to feel what she felt, see what she saw, hear what she heard. He always tried to be as gentle as possible whenever they did this; she was letting his heart inside her, after all, and it was hard not to be touched by how much she trusted him in order to let that happen.

When the merger was complete, he rested his hand over his heart, moving her arm in the process. Then he hugged himself, giving her the hug he wished he could give her with his own body. 

“I missed you too,” came her voice in his mind. “I was hoping we’d get to meet today. Christmas just isn’t the same without you and Riku around.” 

Ri-ku? Sora signed. Kairi had taught him a few signs from an old book she’d found at the castle on the Land of Departure, and he was able to sort of communicate with her as a result. 

“He’s still looking for you,” Kairi told him. “So it’s me and Aqua and Terra and Ven celebrating together. I hope he has someone to celebrate with. You too.” 

I have you, he signed, and her delightful giggle entered his thoughts. 

“That you do. Thank you for reaching out to me.” 

Want—see—you, he signed, the gestures still awkward for him because he wasn’t used to talking like this yet. But it was worth it, knowing he was able to reach Kairi. 

“I wanted to see you too,” she said. “I’ve been training hard because I have to be ready when you need me. No more weak Kairi holding you back.” 

He shook his head. No. No weak. Kairi… He thought for a moment, then flexed his muscles.

“You really think I’m strong?” she asked softly. 

He nodded. Me, you… He flexed his muscles again. 

“And you feel strong with me.” 

Another nod from him, moving her head.

“You never did stop believing in me,” was her response. “And I won’t ever stop believing in you. Sora, I know we’ll be together again. And if I have anything to say about it… This time, I’ll be the one coming for you.”

He nodded. He wasn’t sure when or how, but he trusted Kairi with his life. 

Feeling a little resistance from her in his right hand, he released his control a little and let her move it to his face.

“Merry Christmas, Sora,” she said, and her words warmed his heart. It would’ve been even better if she could’ve touched his actual face, but this was a pretty good substitute. 

M-e-r-r-y—C-h-r-i-s-t-m-a-s, he signed back. He gently tugged and waited for permission, then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. 

Sweet dreams. 

Their time was over; he could feel his connection to her weakening. He could spend every day of the rest of his life with her, and it still wouldn’t be enough. And yet, even being with her for a few fleeting moments in a dream had lifted his spirits more than anything else had in days. 

And that was why he was more determined than ever to see her again with his own two eyes, embrace her with his arms and speak to her with his voice. Nothing else would be enough. 

Then, and only then, would he truly be home. 

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When Kairi awoke the next morning, the Land of Departure was covered in a blanket of snow. A hearty fire was crackling in the fireplace, and Aqua had set out a mug of hot cocoa for her. Smiling, she reached to grab it when she saw her hand and remembered. 

Sora had kissed her. Just on the hand, but his kiss had felt nice all the same. Her hand was still warm too, like a part of him remained with her even though the dream was over. So she brought her hand to her lips and kissed it too. 

“Thanks again,” she told Sora as she sipped her hot cocoa. “That was the nicest Christmas gift I could ask for. You, here with me.” She grinned. “Not a Christmas present so much as a Christmas presence, am I right?”

He always did like silly puns, and she knew he’d be chuckling right now. 

“Seriously though,” she said, “Merry Christmas. Next year, we’ll get to spend it together in person, I just know it.” 

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A/N: This fic is dedicated to Tegan, as it was recently her birthday! Happy Belated Birthday Tegan! And thank you for reading everyone! Merry Christmas!