#first one is old and i am still not satisfied with how sleep should look | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mochikage · 2 years

Text

fuckboy!kakashi x reader This was a request from my old blog. I’m not giving it a title because I am lazy xo. (side note: i do not see kakashi as as fuckboy unless very specific circumstances in his anbu years occur)

unedited + 12.5k words ....oops. THERE IS SMUT IN THIS, MDNI

“Why don’t you take off the mask? I want to see how good I’m making you feel.” The woman, whose name he had already forgotten, bit her lip as she looked down at Kakashi. She was currently straddling his hips and her fingers were dancing around his neck, too close to the edges of his mask for him to be comfortable. He sits up, bringing his face closer to the woman above him.

He’s never thought the mask to be a problem. Some girls even found it hot that they couldn’t really see him, couldn’t really kiss him. They’ll moan against the mask and whine about wanting him to take it off, but he never does. It’s not like it’ll take away from their pleasure because he always did leave them satisfied. It obviously wasn’t as big of a deal if women were still lining up for a chance to get in bed with him.

“It stays on.” He simply replies to her before moving his hands down in between her legs. She moans when he moves her panties aside and starts to play with her. Apparently, she didn’t get the hint. Her hands got as far as hooking under his mask before they were yanked away by the man under her.

“What did I just say?” Kakashi stares at the woman above him and begins to rethink his actions. He wanted to fuck, but was the lay really worth it if she was going to be irritating? He ponders if he should go through the trouble of tying her up, but truth be told, he wasn’t really having it that day. It’s not the first time that someone has asked him to remove the mask before they fuck, but usually, they got the hint after he rejects their request.

He moves the woman off of his lap and she begins to apologize, realizing how she was coming off.

“Don’t worry about it.” He mumbles to her as he gets up to put on his shirt and vest. He has his headband on and over his eye and before the woman knows it, he’s gone. He left her in her bed, cursing herself for ruining the one chance she had to sleep with the infamous Kakashi Hatake.

He had gathered quite a reputation, both in the shinobi world and in the civilian world. Of course, they were two stark different reputations, but a reputation, nonetheless. As Kakashi walks down the quiet streets of Konoha, he finds that his mind is anything but. He thinks about how he even got himself in that situation and finds himself regretting it when he remembers.

Earlier in the day, Kakashi had gone to the academy to pick up some papers. It was there that he saw Y/N. He remembers the way his heartfelt when she gave him a sweet greeting, sporting a beautiful smile. She even brought him a copy of her favourite book. He gave her a smile of his own.

“Oh, Y/N thank you, but you didn’t have to do this.” He takes the gift out of her hands and looks at the cover. He remembers her bringing the book up, but truth be told he doesn’t remember a single thing that she said about it. He was too focused on the way her lips were moving when she talked. He was too entranced with the way her eyes shined in the sun. He was too distracted by her smile to even think about what she was saying.

“Don’t mention it.” She politely waves him off, “I hope you do end up liking it.” They had talked for a little bit, and something about the way she talked about her students made his stomach somersault.

He always feels lovesick after talking to her. He knows that it’s a simple fix, but he didn’t have the courage to ask her out. He didn’t know if he ever will and that’s something he’s trying to come to terms with. The moment with Y/N was short-lived. She was called away by Iruka to help out with something, but she didn’t leave without giving him one last near heart-attack.

Instead of waving goodbye to him she reached out and squeezed his arm, giving him an apologetic smile.

“I’ll see you later?” She asks him, and he simply nodded, too flustered from the proximity of the two.

That’s when whats-her-face ran into him as he left. Now that Kakashi thinks about it, that woman was waiting for him outside of the Academy. She had caught him at the perfect time. He was mostly in a good mood after talking to Y/N, but something was missing. He needed more of her touch. Fortunately for him, he knows where he can find the attention that he’s craving, but he only wishes he can get it from her.

Unfortunately, enough though when he really thinks about it, he hasn’t fully slept with anyone since Y/N kissed his cheek while he walked a drunk her and drunk Iruka home over a month ago. He’s gotten as far as letting them strip his vest but then something in him makes him stop everything. In this case, it had been the woman annoying him, but he can’t deny that in many other cases it had been because he’s opened his eyes kissing them and realized that it wasn’t his girl.

As Kakashi turns another corner, he lets out another frustrated sigh. He was frustrated both sexually and just with himself. If he could just gather the courage to say something to her then maybe he can finally be happy. He’s spent far too long pitying himself and he’s gotten to the point where he’s willing to give love a chance. It’s caught him by surprise the first time he realizes it, when Y/N first smiled at him. It was something about her that drew him in every time he saw her.

And once again, he finds himself thinking about the one girl he really cared for. There have been countless times he’s asked himself how she managed to get past his walls without him noticing. He once even thought that she had cast some kind of jutsu on him, but that idea was scratched quickly when he realized just how dumb it sounded.

Kakashi stops in his tracks when he hears his name called. He turns around curiously, wondering who in the right mind was up at this hour. When he recognizes the familiar figure approaching him, he immediately straightens his posture.

“Y/N?” Her name comes out more like a question and he can’t help the little flip his stomach does when he sees her in regular clothing. Her hair is down, and he wishes upon the twinkling stars of the night sky that he will be blessed with this sight again.

There was something about her running towards him in the soft moonlight that made him second guess if he was dreaming or not. She had a basket in one arm and her jounin jacket in the other.

“What are you doing up this late?” She steals the question right from his lips. He sees her eyes glance down to his dishevelled clothes before seeing her smile falter slightly. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why he looked like this late at night. He opens his mouth, wanting to give her some sort of explanation but he can’t find the words. What would he even say?

“Actually, I’m glad I ran into you. I have something for you.” She opens her basket. Where did she have to go that was so important that it had to be at this time? And did she have to be alone? His mouth twitches into a frown under his mask, and he grows mildly irritated by her seemingly carefree attitude. He debates if he should tell her that she shouldn’t be out this late, at least not alone. Before he could come to a decision, she pulls out a file. He’s even more baffled now but he takes the scroll from her.

“It’s from the Hokage. It’s the official invitation to the graduation ceremony.” She explains to him. She doesn’t give him much time to respond before she moves around him to keep walking. Kakashi wants to stop her, but he doesn’t know what he can say to her that will get her to stop. So, with his head now hung even lower than before, he makes his way home.

The following two weeks were bleak for Kakashi. There was no mission for him, all of his students were enjoying their time off, and he hasn’t seen Y/N in far too long for him to be comfortable with it. Usually, he might go and see what woman can hold his attention long enough for him to go home with them, but he couldn’t get the image of Y/N’s face out of his mind. He shouldn’t care about what she thinks, and yet he’s so disappointed in himself after that interaction.

Kakashi is even more disappointed with each night that passes where he doesn’t run into Y/N. He would be lying if he said he didn’t stay out longer in hopes of seeing her again. He has changed his usual route to increase his chances. Hell, he even sent a clone once to help him look. Each night he had failed to find her, and it’s not until he’s called into the Hokage’s office that he sees her again.

Kakashi knocks on the door to the office and patiently waits to be invited in. He’s surprised when the door opens, and Y/N is standing there. She gives him a signature sweet smile before moving to the side to let him in.

“Okay, now that everyone is here, we can get started.”

The meeting with the Hokage was the for the most part, uneventful. He was assigned on a mission with Y/N, and to say he’s not excited would be a flat out lie. Y/N walks out with him, and for the first time in a while, he hears her calming voice.

“What time do you think we should leave tomorrow?”

He’s mildly disappointed that she kept the conversation professional, but then again, they did just leave the office.

“Well, it takes about 27 hours to get to that village. It’ll probably take two days to get there, so the earlier we leave, the better.” They both stop outside of the building. He takes in her appearance. Her hair was held back by her forehead protector, and her usual shinobi attire was scuffed up. He noticed the distressed attire, and he can’t remember if it looked like this the last time he saw her or not.

“Did you just get back from a mission?” He can’t stop himself from asking. He feels his cheeks flush when she makes eye contact with him, her eyes glistening happily.

“I did. The Sand Village needed help retrieving stolen documents from the Hidden Sound.” He mirrors her smile, not that she could see it anyways.

“How was it?” He continues the conversation, hoping that she would stay and talk to him for a little longer. They begin to walk together as he listens intently to how her mission went. He admired her for loving her work and admires her even more with the way she talks about her comrades. She always spoke so highly of them, and she never had a bad word to say about anyone.

They reach her house quicker than Kakashi would like, and she fully turns to the man in front of her.

“Soooo do you want to meet tomorrow at 6?”

Kakashi’s brain short circuits for a second, thinking that she was asking him out on a date. He watches her eyebrows pinch together in thought.

“Is that too early for you? I’ve heard Naruto complain about you being late.” She giggles quietly to herself, and Kakashi hopes to hear it again. He realizes what she meant and shakes his head, as if to clear the thoughts of how a date with her would go. He plays it off as if he was replying to her question.

“No, no. That should be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiles and waits for her to go safely inside before leaving to go to his own home, his mind swimming with thoughts of her smile and laugh.

The next morning, Kakashi gets up earlier than usual. He wants to blame it on the birds chirping outside, but the nerves tingling in his stomach say otherwise. He grabs his packed bags and sets out the main village gates. He sees another figure there, resting along the wall. The closer he gets, the clearer the figure.

“Y/N?” He calls out, recognizing her smaller frame when he gets closer. She turns around and looks over, smiling politely at him.

“What are you doing here early?”

“Couldn’t really sleep.” She shrugs, “I guess I was nervous for this mission because I couldn’t stop waking up. Figured I get here early.” She lies, knowing full well that she was excited for this one-on-one mission with the man she’s had her eye on for a while. Of course, she would never let him know that, knowing about his reputation. It’s a recipe for a bad heartbreak, and it’s something that she would avoid at all costs. The only response Kakashi gives her is a nod, choosing not to voice his disapproval of her not getting a good night’s rest.

They both climb up the nearest trees right outside the gates and set out to the inn they’re supposed to stay at. They’re both flying through the trees, both of them keeping up with each other easily. Neither of them would say it, but they’re both enjoying the company significantly, even if no words have been exchanged in between them. At one point, Kakashi even begins to push off the same trees as Y/N, and she looks over at him briefly. He gives her a close eyed smile, one so soft that Y/N almost trips on her own two feet.

“Do you want to race?” She calls over to him, noticing him land at the same place and at the same time as her. He looks over at her, and something about her aura briefly reminded him of his dear friend, Gai. Maybe it was how she was always positive. He’s never really seen her in a bad mood. Maybe it was because anytime he had seen her spar, he would notice how good her taijutsu was (not that her ninjutsu or genjutsu wasn’t any good, but he hasn’t seen those as much as her hand-to-hand combat). Maybe it was because she was challenging him to a race right now, and he was not one to back down from a challenge, not anymore.

“What’s the finish line?”

“There’s a river a couple miles up ahead. We should be getting there by midday; it might be good to stop for some water and food.” Kakashi agrees to the plan and waits for her to say that the race has started.

“Go!” She exclaims excitedly, moving past Kakashi, who was baffled that he had no warning before she started the race. He chuckles quietly to himself, her good mood rubbing off on him easily. He chases after her, noticing that she really did move quickly. They were both necks in neck, racing towards the river up ahead.

A few hours pass and the two of them finally reach the river, both of them panting from the run. They both stop in front of the water, look at each other, and laugh between themselves.

“I thought you said it was only a few miles away,” Kakashi comments with a smile under his mask as he dips his hands in the river to wash his face.

“Is it a good time to say that I’m not the best at guessing distances?” Y/N says shyly, taking a few swigs of her water. She notices Kakashi turning towards his bags, back to her. She watches his arm muscles move underneath the long-sleeved blue shirt. She shifts in her seated position when he tilts his head back to drink some water. What she would give to see his face.

Y/N was already attracted to him, well, she frequently asks herself who isn’t? But there was something about seeing a more playful side of him with her today that made her feel that much more for the jounin in front of her. He’s always had a place in her heart, for she felt for his pain when he lost his father and best friends. Like Gai, she had tried her best to lift his spirits when they were younger. Gai was more relentless than her, and she had a fear of annoying the laid-back shinobi. She wishes she never gave into the crush on him. He shifts again in his sitting position, and it looks like he’s pulling his mask back up. He turns back to Y/N, who is now blushing madly for being caught staring at him.

“So…who won?” Y/N asks, leaning back on her hands.

“I’m pretty sure it was me.”

“Hm..” Y/N hums, squinting her eyes at him, “I don’t think so. Pretty sure I got here before you, so I think you owe me dinner.” She teases.

“I don’t think we ever agreed to loser buying the winner dinner.”

She grabs a portion of food out of her pack, as does Kakashi.

“No? Well, I don’t think I agreed to you winning that race. In fact, I’m sure you were behind me when we landed.” Y/N smiles as she picks up her chopsticks.

“If you wanted me to buy you dinner, you just had to ask. No need to lie about winning the race.” He teases her, and the kunoichi shakes her head, enjoying this side of him. Before she could say anything, he speaks up, voice laced with concern.

“You’re bleeding.” Kakashi sets his food down and immediately turns to retrieve a little medical kit from his bag. Y/N looks down at her thigh and gasps.

“Shoot, I must have popped a stitch.” She stands immediately, moving away from the worried shinobi next to her.

“What are you doing?” He asks, watching her wobble behind a tree.

“I’m changing the bandages,” Y/N calls out. She makes sure she’s out of his view before she pulls her pants down.

“Shit.” She mutters quietly, seeing the fresh wound open again. Y/N sighs, grabbing a bandage from her bag, deciding that she would have to deal with it later. She wraps it up quickly, and rounds the tree, running straight into Kakashi.

“Are you alright? Did you open the stitches?” He asks, looking at your now stained pants. Y/N waves him off, telling him a reassuring don’t worry but he doesn’t believe her. He decides not to push her, instead going back to their food. She’s mildly disappointed to see that his food is all gone. Maybe the next time they eat, she’ll get to see his face.

“I’m carrying this from now on. You shouldn’t put any extra weight on that leg.” Kakashi’s usually cool, relaxed voice is back, a change that she notices from his previously lighter tone. It disappoints her, but she brushes it off. She opens her mouth to argue, but he’s already jumped up to the trees. She follows him, hot on his trail.

“You know, you don’t have to carry my bag,” Y/N calls out, hoping that she’s not sounding ungrateful. Kakashi doesn’t reply to her. She frowns, wondering if she had done something wrong.

The rest of the day was silent between the two, nothing like the first half. Y/N had spent it worrying if she had said something to him, and he spends it wondering why the Hokage would send her on a mission if she was still injured. He wasn’t in a good mood, now worried that Y/N was in jeopardy from her injury. They stop a couple of hours later, Kakashi sensing Y/N slowing down.

“We can camp here for the night,” Kakashi announces, releasing a protective jutsu around them. He notes how deep into the forest in the Land of Fire. Pretty soon, they would be in foreign territory. Kakashi notes that he would have to travel close to his comrade tomorrow in any case they get into danger.

Y/N began unpacking her bag, pulling out her sleeping bag and a basket. Kakashi unpacks the book she gave him. He sets up his sleeping bag next to a tree and leans against the trunk for some light reading. He can’t help but let his eyes slip past the book in his hands and to kunoichi in front of him. Kakashi grows more irritated with the situation at hand. The last thing she needs to do is stand.

“Where are you going?” He can’t help but ask.

“To go gather some medicinal flowers.”

“Is that where you go in the middle of the night?” He asks, not realizing how creepy that could have sounded if she didn’t run into him the other night.

“Yes.”

“What do the flowers look like?”

“White, with black specks on them.”

Kakashi picks up the basket next to the girl.

“Don’t worry about it. Now get some rest, Y/N. Tomorrow we’ll walk. If we follow the river downstream, we should get there by sundown.” He doesn’t spare her a glance.

“Sundown? But-“

“We’re walking. No fast travelling, no trees, no races.” Kakashi’s cold gaze snaps over to Y/N. She’s already re-opened her wound and he will not risk making it worse by playing childish games with her. He mentally scolds himself for getting carried away with her. The girls' shoulders visibly slouched, confused as to why she was picking up disappointing tones from him. Maybe he was coming off harsh towards her, but he doesn’t want to argue with her about walking tomorrow so he was hoping to come off as if there was no other option. with his stubbornness, there really wasn’t.

Y/N doesn’t say anything to him. Instead, she decides to call it a night. She would wake herself up in a few hours to let him rest as well. Kakashi leaves the girl to collect the flowers. It doesn’t take him long. The area they were around was covered with the speckled flowers. He begins to pick the flowers one by one, wondering what this would have been like with Y/N by his side. He wonders how many nights she’s out in the forest picking the flowers for the medical staff. His stomach churns at the thought of something happening to her at that time of night. He physically shakes his head, wanting to get rid of the thoughts that were crossing his mind.

He begins to think of something more positive. He finds himself thinking that he was grateful that he gets to go on a mission with her. He gets to have a full understanding of what her feelings towards him were. She’s always been so kind to him, but he could never understand why. He’s happy that Gai isn’t there with them, only because he’s the only one in the village that knows how he feels about the kunoichi. And once again, his thoughts are back to her.

With a heavy sigh, he goes back to their minicamp and plops himself down against the tree to read. Kakashi spends his time switching his attention from the sleeping kunoichi in front of him and his book. He notices how her lips pout in her sleep, and he can’t explain it but he has the urge to kiss the plump lip. He doesn’t know for how long he’s under her enchantment, but he does know that he saw the lip tremble. He closes the book and gets up quietly. He grabs his own blanket from his sleeping bag and drapes it over her body. He doesn’t think that he’ll need it for the rest of the night because truth be told, he had no intention of waking her up for her watch. His clone comes back a few hours later, a basket full of the flowers she had requested.

Y/N wakes up the next morning to smell of eggs and the sound of fire crackling. She lets out a yawn and sits up, so at peace with herself that she momentarily forgot where she was at the moment.

“Kakashi!” She exclaims out, noticing the bright sun that shined above the two of them. He has one hand moving the food around a makeshift pan and the eggs on it while the other is holding the book you gave him earlier. He only hums in response, turning the page to his book.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? Did you get any rest?” She sits up, not missing the extra blanket on top of her body.

“Plenty. All I did was sit around.”

“That’s not resting.” She says, irritated with the man in front of her. A wave of guilt washed over her. How could she sleep so soundly when he clearly needed it more? Kakashi doesn’t reply to her and instead hands her a plate of food.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” She asks, grabbing the plate.

“I already ate earlier.” Kakashi begins to clean everything up, letting the sleepy kunoichi enjoy her breakfast. He packs almost everything, leaving the sleeping bag she was sitting on to be packed last. Keeping his promise from the day before, he carries most of the bags, ignoring the comment she made saying that she could carry it.

The rest of the trip and the mission itself was uneventful for the most part. Both of their abilities complement each other, something Kakashi is waiting for the Hokage to recognize so they can be paired more often. He’s hoping at least. The mission itself only lasted a few hours. They were able to extract the information they needed quickly and undetected. Kakashi would have been lying if he said that he wasn’t concerned about her leg. However, considering that she hadn’t complained about it nor had there been any signs of the wound reopening he forced the worry to the back of his mind.

The travel back to the village was just as uneventful as the mission itself. He had given in to her constant begging and let her carry her own stuff, but he made sure to keep an eye on her pace and her leg to make sure she wasn’t putting a “tough” face on. They stopped around the same area they had on the way there, but this time Y/N made sure that she would take the first watch, and even gave Kakashi a taste of his own medicine and didn’t wake him up for his turn.

By the time they arrived back to the village, it was late at night. The gates of Konoha came into view, and the two of them dropped down from the trees and walked in. Kakashi couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he would no longer have an excuse to spend time with her.

“Do you think Lady Hokage is still in her office?” Y/N breaks the comfortable silence between the two.

“I don’t know, she might already be at the bar.” Kakashi jokes, although there was a possibility that there was truth to his words. He smiles under his mask when Y/N lets out a hearty laugh, agreeing with the man next to her.

“Maybe. Should we report to her tomorrow then?” She stops walking as soon as they enter the village and turns to Kakashi.

“That’ll probably be best. Besides, it buys us time to have the mission report ready.”

“Buys you time to have the mission report ready.” Y/N comments, taking a drink from her water bottle.

“When did you have the time to write yours?”

“When you were sleeping.”

“Oh, you mean when you didn’t wake me up for my watch?”

“Watch it, Hatake. You did it to me first.” Y/N smiles, seeing the crinkles forming on the sides of his eyes, indicating that he enjoys their banter as much as she did.

“Anyways..” She trails off and looks in the direction of her home. She didn’t want this mission to end. If she was being completely honest, she almost wished that the mission didn’t go so smoothly just so she could spend another day with the man next to her. She didn’t expect to enjoy this mission so much, especially since data-retrieval one’s weren’t her favorite but the company she had made it worth it.

“Can I walk you home?” Kakashi asks, catching her off guard. She nods, happy that he seems to enjoy her company as much as she enjoyed his. Although the walk between the two was silent, the thoughts in their own minds was anything but. Kakashi spent the walk debating what they would talk about. He didn’t want to bring up any work stuff, nor anything to do with the mission before. He glances over to Y/N, who in her own mind is having debates on whether or not she should be the one to break the silence or not.

“I’m enjoying the book you lent me, thank you again,” he starts, hoping that he could get her to do most of the talking in order to learn more about her. Y/N smiles over at the man, nearly taking his breath away. He takes note of just how much he loves receiving her beaming smiles, not that it was news to him.

“Of course. You’re always reading Icha Icha, not that there’s anything wrong with them, but I thought you might like a different story.”

“It was very thoughtful of you.” Kakashi compliments. It was well known that Y/N was a sweetheart, and the fact that she was still single really baffles Kakashi. He had hope that maybe one day he would grow a pair and ask her out, but he always blames it on not having the right time to say—or do—anything. He doesn’t miss the blush that brushes her cheeks, and he has half a heart to pull down his mask and lean in down to kiss them. He wonders if it would make her blush more, or if she would even give her a kiss of her own. He shakes his head, realizing she had said something to him.

“What was that?” He asks, turning his attention forward. It would be better for him not to be distracted by her.

“I was asking what you liked about it.”

“Oh…well I like that Mikasa (iykyk) is bold. She doesn’t let any fear slow her down or stop her from getting what she wants.” He replies. It’s ironic, how much he admires the main character of the story and how she can do anything she sets her mind to and yet here he is, a well-known shinobi who can’t even muster the courage to ask out a comrade.

“Yeah..I really wish I had her bravery. Definitely would be in a different place right now if I did.” Y/N chuckles.

“How do you mean?” Kakashi can’t help but ask. He couldn’t agree more with her comment, although he doubts that she’s thinking the same thing he is. If he had the same courage, the kunoichi next to him would be more than a comrade to him, and he wouldn’t have the reputation that he had with the civilians of the village. The girl next to him blushes even more, but with the ideal world Kakashi is building in his mind, he misses it.

“Well, I just mean that maybe I still wouldn’t be single…” Y/N trails off, “o-or maybe I would have even gotten the right order if I said something to that fisherman back in the village.”

She worries for a second that she got too personal with Kakashi. They both now stood at her doorstep, watching each other in silence. She doesn’t know what to do, and Kakashi is lost in his own mind wondering if these were the signs, he’s been looking for all this time. All this talk about bravery, getting what one wants, her being single, were they hints?

Kakashi takes a step closer to her, causing her to crane her neck to keep the eye contact they’ve been holding for who knows how long. Tentatively, he reaches a hand to cup her cheek, relishing in the soft skin against his hand. He only wishes he took off his fingerless gloves to fully caress her cheek, but he ditches any thoughts he had as he musters up the courage to lean in. He’s carefully watching her actions and took the fact that she didn’t flinch or move away from him as a good sign. She seems like she’s leaning in too, and Kakashi’s heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest from sheer excitement. He only stops leaning in when she speaks up, her words confusing him.

“I don’t trust myself.”

“What do you mean?” He’s still close to her, hand still on her cheek.

“I don’t want to hook up with you and then regret it later.”

“Why would you regret it?” He frowns at her words, dropping his hand from her face.

“I’m scared I’m going to catch feelings and then I’ll have to see you with other women. I’d rather save myself the hurt.” Y/N spoke so quietly that if the village hadn’t been completely silent, he wouldn’t have heard her. His mind was racing at the moment. He watches her in silence as she fishes around her bag to find the key to her place.

“Y-you’re the only one that I want.” He stammers, trying to find the right words to say.

“How many times have you used that one?” She asks in disbelief. She didn’t say it in a malicious way, nor did she seem upset judging by the way she smiled. Maybe she meant it in a joking way, but Kakashi was in no mood for jokes with what was at stake.

He had finally had the courage to nearly kiss the girl he actually liked, and he had no idea how he was going to convince her that she really was the one he had been wanting all along. How was he going to explain to her that everyone else he slept with was purely for need and because he couldn’t really have her? That sounded so cliché it made him cringe internally. He’s left standing alone on her porch before he can get a simple ‘wait’ out.

The next morning, he meets her at the Hokage’s office, neither of them making eye contact when they greet each other. Kakashi steals a glance at her, and from the looks of it, she must have stayed up all night as well. He frowns to himself, wondering if he should speak up and apologize for his behaviour the night before. Deciding that it was better to mention it at another time, he turns his attention to the Hokage.

Both of them turn in their mission reports and wait to be dismissed. Lady Tsunade had a few questions here and there, but for the most part, everything seemed fine. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to be dismissed so he could talk to his comrade, but she seemed to have other plans. As soon as Tsunade dismissed them, she had asked if she could stay and talk to her for a moment.

As Kakashi leaves the office, he wonders what Y/N might have to tell her. It really could have been anything, but he lets his mind drift off to the worst possible scenario just because he loves to torture himself. Could she be requesting that they never get paired again? Would she be complaining about the mission? Negative thoughts flooded his mind as he walked down the stairs. Would things be different between them now? Before he could continue spiralling down the negative void, Maito Gai hooks his arm around his neck, catching him by surprise for the first time.

“Ah! My eternal rival has come back! Are you ready to put our skills to the test once again?” The jounin practically yells in his ear.

“What will it be this time?” His enthusiasm continued as he jumped in front of Kakashi, effectively stopping him in his tracks. His hands were out as if he was prepared to fight him. “Rock paper scissors? Another sushi-eating contest?” He asks, smile faltering when Kakashi sticks his hands in his pocket and makes his way around Gai.

“Not now, Gai.” And with that, he leaves back to his house.

A couple of days go by, and he’s convinced that Y/N is avoiding him. He had run into her at the market, and she kept the conversation sweet, but short. The other day he had spotted her at the bookstore, but before he could go up to say something to her, one of the women he’s previously slept with had ruined the moment for him. As soon as the woman spoke his name, he watched Y/N tense and walk in the other direction. The next time he sees her, they’re all out celebrating Genma’s birthday, and if her body language was anything to go by, she wasn’t the only one that was forced to be there.

Currently, they were about three or four rounds in, and everyone was beginning to let loose. Well, everyone aside from Y/N and Kakashi. He wants to go talk to her more than anything, but it’s like every time he sees her, she’s talking to someone new. He gets up to get a round of drinks for everyone, hoping that it would give him an excuse to interject the conversation she was having with Gai. Yamato joins Kakashi at the bar.

“So Y/N, you haven’t said a single word about your last mission.” Gai notes, filling his glass with more beer, “usually you have plenty to say about how things went, let alone how great your comrades were. What’s different this time? Is it because you admire Kakashi in a different way?” He raises her eyebrows suggestively, making the girl flustered.

“No!” She’s quick to deny, hoping that she doesn’t seem suspicious, “nothing really happened on it. It went really smoothly.”

“Come on, you’re telling me that you had a three-day mission, and nothing happened?”

“Nothing aside from kicking ass.”

“Wow...And here I thought that he would finally make a move on you.” Gai hiccups, pouring himself another beer. His words catch Y/N off guard, and she goes against her better judgement and asks the nearly wasted ninja in front her for clarification. She knows that he probably shouldn’t be saying anything, but the opportunity to get anything out of Kakashi’s closest comrade was too rare for her to pass up.

“Well, it’s no secret he has a thing for you. Has for a while…”

“He sleeps around with women in Konoha. In what language does that mean that he likes me?”

“Used to.” Gai corrects, waving his beer around, nearly spilling it on the table, “one of my dear friends used to be a frequent flyer with him but apparently, he stopped after Iruka’s birthday about two months ago.” He lets out another hiccup before downing the rest of his beer. Y/N is lost in her thoughts, wondering if any of his drunken words held truth to them. What had happened two months ago that made him suddenly stop? Her eyes trail to the man in question, watching Yamato torture the man.

“Come on, Kakashi! What has gotten into you?” Yamato slaps the man’s back. It was harder than he had intended to but with the few rounds of beer he had in him, he found it difficult to control his strength. “I thought that you enjoyed her company.”

“Enjoying the sex we have is not the same as enjoying her company.” Kakashi comments, wondering when this dreadful conversation will end.

“Why are you such in a rush to get back to Gai? Do you think he’s telling her about your latest conquests? Although you did say you haven’t been…hey where are you-“ Before Yamato could finish his sentence, Kakashi is making his way to stop Gai from ruining any chance he has with Y/N, but is stopped on the way by the birthday man himself.

“Kakashi! My maaan!” Genma, clearly wasted and enjoying his birthday hugs both Yamato and Kakashi, uncharacteristically gushing to the men how much he appreciates them coming. Kakashi’s heart sinks when he sees Y/N standing up.

“I should get going,” Y/N says, wondering why she was torturing herself asking Gai these questions. He was clearly drunk, and there really was no way to tell if his words were true or not. She makes her way out, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. Even if she had, there’s no telling who would remember it or not. She finally makes it out of the bar, taking a deep breath in the fresh air. She begins to walk home, Gai’s words floating around her head.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called and turns around. Upon seeing who had called her name, she wishes silently that she hadn’t turned around. Kakashi runs up to her, and if she hadn’t known any better, she wouldn’t have noticed how nervous he looked. She was taken aback by his appearance. The one eye she could see had the brow pulled down in a worrisome manner, his eyes wide as he searched her face for any sign of her being upset.

“I’m so sorry…” He begins, causing her to grow even more confused. “I don’t know how much Gai has told you or really what exactly he has told you but it’s not true.” He hurries out, worried that all the efforts he had put in to show her that he’s so much more than the reputation he carries were thrown out the window by mere words of his drunk friend.

Y/N tries her best not to look disappointed. Her stomach and shoulders drop at the news. Surely, she must have known that Gai had been lying. How could Kakashi like her? She was an average shinobi, and average looking girl, and not to mention probably not the most interesting person in the world. Had she voiced her thoughts out loud, the frustrated man in front of her would have corrected her on all those things. He thought the world of her. If only either of them could speak their mind with the other.

“Oh.” It was the only thing she could say. She looks down at her feet, feeling her eyes begin to sting. “Right, well. If that’s all you had to say...” She trails off, blinking away any signs of tears and throws on a smile before she looks back up to Kakashi. His expression has changed to one of confusion. He could tell that her smile was fake, even if it would have been believable to anyone else.

“Have I said something to upset you?” Kakashi asks, and Y/N wants to scoff at his concern.

“No. Goodnight.” She says curtly. She wanted nothing more than to go home and cry into her pillow from how horrible this night was. She was forced to come out to celebrate a comrade’s birthday, only for her to gain some stupid hope that she could be with Kakashi only for it to be crushed moments later. She doesn’t know if she’s upset with herself for believing Gai’s words or with Kakashi for being so charming, although the latter wouldn’t completely be his fault.

She turns on her heels and walks even faster away from Kakashi, leaving him confused and standing outside the bar alone. He has to stop himself from going after her, knowing just how annoying it can be to want to be alone and for people to annoy you. He retraces his steps, wondering where he could have gone wrong.

Y/N locks herself in her room that night, letting the tears fall freely now. She plops herself down on her bed and stares at the blurry ceiling. How could she have been so stupid to think that he might have liked her? She scolds herself for believing Gai’s drunken words so easily. She knew deep down that it was something she’s longed to hear from her comrade. Maybe she believed him so easily because they almost kissed the night they arrived in the village. She shakes her head, telling herself that they were both tired from the mission and looking for some company. If she had a stronger heart then she would have indulged herself that night. Y/N turns over in her bed and looks out her window and tells herself that she’ll get over him. Her mind loves torturing her, so of course, she dreams of what could have happened that night if they kissed that night.

The next day, Kakashi goes to the Hokage’s office.

“You asked for me Lady Hokage?”

“Yes. Could you help set up for the graduation ceremony? We’re a little short on helping hands. I have a couple of people signed up already but Iruka says he needs more.”

“What time?”

“There are several slots still open.” She motions for him to come closer to his desk as she pulls out a list. He looks over the names, spotting Y/N’s signed up for the earlier time slot.

“Is this what Y/N wanted to talk about the other day?” He wonders. Tsunade’s smile grew, and from the twitch in the corner of her lips, he could tell that she expected him to ask.

“No. It was nothing serious. She only asked to be off a couple of missions so she could fully recover.” She shrugged. The man quietly sighs to himself in relief. He picks up a pen, tempted to write his name below Y/N’s. He bites his lip under his mask, wondering if he should be so obvious to fill out the empty slot right under her name when there were so many other time slots to choose from. He writes his name down in the time slot after, telling himself that he could catch her on the way out. Before he could leave, Tsunade calls out to him.

“Oh, one more thing. Y/N left her forehead protector here, by the way. Would you mind getting that back to her?” Tsunade smirks, clearly suspicious of his feelings towards the kunoichi. Of course, she could just ask Y/N to come by and retrieve it, but she wanted to gauge Kakashi’s reaction. He simply nods, not giving her as much information from the gesture as she would have liked. At least now he had a valid reason to go see her.

Kakashi finds taking the scenic route. He doesn’t know if he’s buying himself time to think over what he was going to say to her or if he was simply avoiding any confrontation with her. He remembers her getting upset with him last night, but regardless of how many times he racks his brain, he can’t come up with a reason. Maybe she was still upset that he tried to kiss her. He finds himself walking to the pharmacy. He needed to pick up a refill of his prescription anyways. It’s there that he runs into Gai, who was looking through the aspirin bottles. It was one of the few times that the taijutsu specialist ever looked so….calm. Undoubtedly it must be consequences from the previous night. Usually, Kakashi would just let Gai approach him, ready for whatever nonsense he would be spewing, but he needed a couple of answers before he would go to see Y/N.

“No training today?” Kakashi asks, apparently too loudly for the man as he winced at his words and groaned.

“No. I’ll be in bed serving my time for my bad choices yesterday.” It was strange to hear his voice with little to no enthusiasm in it. Alcohol was really the only thing that could quiet down Maito Gai.

“Do you remember any of it?” He asks, looking through the rows of pill bottles to make sure he didn’t need anything else. Gai visibly tensed, and Kakashi prepared himself for what was to come.

“Yes..” he sports a frown and drops his head down guiltily “and I’m sorry I have failed you as a friend.”

“How do you mean?” Kakashi hopes that he doesn’t come off as desperate for answers as he is with how quickly he asked the follow-up question.

“I told Y/N that you like her. I’m sorry, I know you entrusted me with that information and I—”

“Wait, what?” Kakashi’s taken back by his words, his stomach churning in response. He quickly returns to his usual cool composure, deciding that he would freak out on the inside.

“I’m. sorry for betraying you.” He looks over at Gai, who was nearly in tears. Kakashi rolls his eyes at his overdramatic comrade. Maybe he should have been mad at him for telling Y/N something like that. It’s not like he ever outwardly told him that he liked her, but Gai knew him so well that for him it was something as clear as day. Maybe he should have been mad but given the other things he could have told her, what he thought he told her at least, this probably really was the best case scenario.

“Pull yourself together, Gai. We’re in public.” Kakashi scolds his sobbing friend, feeling mild secondhand embarrassment from the openly emotional man next to him. “I’m not mad. If anything, maybe I should be grateful, you did me a favour.” He almost regrets saying those words, seeing Gai look over at him with wide, watery eyes. He knew a hug was coming, but he moved quicker than the hungover jounin.

“I have to get going. I have to be somewhere.” It’s only half a lie. He’s planning on going to Y/N’s, but he remembers their last conversation and stops at the entrance of the pharmacy.

I don’t know how much Gai has told you or really what exactly he has told you but it’s not true.

Shit.

The jounin mentally slaps himself, wondering why the hell he didn’t go to Gai first to ask what was said or even ask her what she was told before blabbering out lies to her. Would that have been the last straw? Could he have been the one to ruin any chance with her? Endless questions plagued Kakashi’s mind as he thought of his next move. He looks across the street to see the Yamanaka Flower Shop and decides that it couldn’t hurt to bring her flowers.

Y/N woke up that morning in a bad mood. Her coffee machine wasn’t working, her milk spilt everywhere, and she broke one of her favourite mugs. By lunchtime, she was still grumpy about the whole ordeal in the morning, and the thoughts of yesterday’s events weren’t helping her mood. More than anything she was hurting, both from her leg and her heart. She curses herself for even going to Genma’s birthday in the first place. Why did she have to go? Why did she have to sit with Gai? Why did she have to ask questions to indulge her own fantasy? Y/N groans at the events of the day and rubs her temples in hopes of getting rid of her stress-induced headache.

She spent most of the day doing housework in an attempt to get her mind off the night before. It doesn’t do her any good with her leg hurting but she pushes past the pain, telling herself that it’s helping with the distraction. Not only that, but she can’t find her forehead protector anywhere. It’s nearly sundown by the time she finishes the last room in her apartment. She wipes her hands on her pants and decides that she should go flower picking now. If she goes any later, she might run into Kakashi either coming back or going to one of his women’s houses and she didn’t want to be reminded of it. She grabs her basket and opens the door, taking a step back in shock when she finds the devil himself standing there.

“Kakashi!” She exclaims, half in fear, half in surprise. He’s holding a small bouquet of roses in one hand and a forehead protector in the other hand. So that’s where it went. The man in front of her closes his eye, presumably smiling under his mask. His hand holding her forehead protector goes to scratch the back of his head as he speaks.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you.” He feels guilty for scaring her. Truth be told he had been standing outside her door for a while, building up the courage to knock on her door. He had gone over dozens of times what he would tell her but never came up with the perfect words.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping I could talk to you.”

Y/N looks over the man in front of her, wondering if the conversation ahead of her would help her current mental state or not. Going against her better judgement, she moved to the side, allowing him inside.

“I like your place.” He comments, looking around. “Oh, also I brought you these.” He turns his attention to the curious kunoichi and presents her the bouquet. Y/N looks at the flowers and gives him a small smile, something that he took as a good sign.

“What’s the occasion?” She asks, admiring the flowers.

“I want to clear up what happened last night.”

Y/N’s gaze snaps from the flowers to Kakashi. She holds his eye contact, wondering what he could possibly have to say. He begins to shift his weight from one foot to the other, and she takes a moment to appreciate that for once, the usual laid back calm shinobi is nervously shifting in his place. He avoids her eyes and looks at the ground.

“I really don’t know how to go about this other than to tell it to you straight. What Gai told you yesterday was the truth.” He starts, looking up from the ground to study Y/N’s reaction.

Y/N thinks to pinch herself. Surely this was all a dream? A sick fantasy that her brain has created in order to cope with the pain of yesterday. Kakashi continues, wanting to clear the air as soon as possible.

“I do like you. A lot, actually. And I know I have this stupid reputation of sleeping around but I don’t want you to think that I see you like those other women.” Kakashi feels as if he’s about to throw up. He’s not used to putting his heart out on the line like this but it was now or never. “You’re so much more to me than that and I wish I had the courage to say something to you sooner instead of seeking out fake comfort from the others. I swear to you when I was going to kiss you the other night I had no intention of leaving you after.” He stops when Y/N steps closer to him.

“Gai said something yesterday that you haven’t slept with anyone in a while. What changed?” The question had been eating at Y/N for the longest time. No matter how much cleaning she did, the question still lingered in the back of her mind.

“You kissed me.” His response clearly needed clarification from the shocked look Y/N gave him, “well, my cheek.”

“When?”

“When I took you and Iruka home.”

“Why?”

“I thought that it meant I might have a chance with you. But the next day you didn’t seem to remember anything, and I was a fool for thinking that you might’ve liked me back.” Now he’s convinced he’s going to throw up from how nervous he was feeling. He hated how his stomach churned, and he hated that he didn’t know how to prepare for the rejection he was about to get. Y/N just stood there, like a doe in headlights. He opened his mouth to apologize for showing up unannounced and bombarding her with this information, but her actions catch him off guard.

It happened quickly, too fast for his liking. She had planted a brief over-the-mask kiss on his lips. The action proved to be louder than any words she could have said. She was blushing, and he loved how adorable she looked when she was all shy like that.

“I like you too.” She beamed at him. For a moment the two got lost in each other, but when she started feeling shy again, she cleared her throat.

“If I remember correctly, you do owe me dinner.” She playfully teases, calling back to the race that he won lost during their mission. She couldn’t see it, but he was smiling widely under his mask. He was happy that they were back to this playful banter.

“I suppose I do, don’t I? Would you like to come over for dinner?” He asks, setting down the forehead protector on a nearby table.

“I would love to.” She smiles, even more, when Kakashi offers her his arm and she happily loops her own around it. The two of them head out and make their way to his place. Kakashi doesn’t care for the looks that are being thrown at the two. The same probably couldn’t be said for Y/N, for some of the women glared at her in jealousy. He could sense some of her discomfort when she moved a little closer to him, a glaring woman passing by too close to her for her liking. Kakashi moves his arm around her, wanting her to feel as protected as possible.

“How was your day?” He asks, hoping to distract her from whatever negative thoughts she might’ve been thinking. The walk to his place was peaceful from there on out. He listened to everything she was saying and even told her about what had happened in the past few days. They got to talking about the book again, and it reminded Kakashi that he had to give it back since he had finished it.

Y/N entered his place and immediately noticed how clean it was. He leads her to the kitchen, another area of his home that is extremely clean. He looks through his fridge, determining the options that he could give her.

“What’s on the menu, Chef Hatake?” She asks him from the counter. He smiles at her teasing and pours both of them some sake.

“We can have some miso-soup with eggplant, an eggplant pasta, vegetable soup, or my personal specialty.”

“I think your specialty sounds too good to pass up.” She nods, watching him prepare everything.

The conversation between the two was effortless. They got to know each other more and more with each question the other asked. At some point, she even got up from the counter to watch him clean the fish, wondering how he did it. How the events led from him telling her how to take the bones out to them kissing (with his mask still on) in front of the running sink was a mystery in itself. Y/N let out little moans of approval when he pulled her closer to him, and she felt herself get excited when he began to push her back towards his bedroom. She falls back when the edge of his bed met the back of her knees but she wasted no time in pulling Kakashi down with her.

As the kiss got more and more heated, Kakashi felt the need to pull away momentarily.

“We don’t have to do this.” He whispers to her.

“You don’t want to?”

“No!” He clears his throat, “no, I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Am I just going to be a one night stand?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She smiles at his response and he pushes her gently back on the bed. She reaches her hands up towards the edges of his mask. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to stop her hands. It’s not like he doesn’t have time to stop her either. She’s moving her hand so slowly to his face that it has his body frozen on top of hers. Is his heart beating this quickly because of how her legs were wrapped around him?

No, it wasn’t. It was going this hard because this had been the first time someone had seen his face in a setting this intimate. It was beating this hard because he was finally bearing his full face, heart, and soul to someone. It was beating this hard because he had his love under him, looking at his face with such care in her eyes.

Her fingers gently skimmed over the scar on his left eye, and he thinks she was going to ask about it with the way the corners of her mouth pulled down, but he was grateful when her index finger moved down along his jaw. Her hand cups his chin and pulls him down for a proper kiss, at least he thought that was what was going to happen. He closes his eyes slowly as her face came closer to his and braces himself for the first real kiss that he would have. A slight pressure on his left eye makes him move away in surprise. Y/N’s eyes widen when she saw his reaction and quickly began to apologize.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—” but her apologies were sealed away when his lips press against hers. His hand moved from the bed to hold her face as gently as she once held his. He kisses her slowly, taking his sweet time. He didn’t know how to communicate his feelings well with words, but damn did he know how to communicate with those lips. He tilts her head back so it’s resting against the pillow again and continues to kiss her in a way that’s ruining her panties.

Y/N spreads her legs further on the bed, allowing Kakashi to completely settle in between them. As soon as his bulge pressed against her core, she lets out a pleased sigh, one that’s swallowed by Kakashi’s mouth. She can feel him smile against her lips, and she smiles too.

Kakashi’s whole body feels like it’s floating. The way her hands move around his body is sending shivers in every direction and he wishes that her hands will always be touching him in some way. There’s comfort in the way her arms move around his neck and pull him even closer. There’s more comfort when she tugs on his hair gently. Kakashi surprises himself when he lets out a moan when she pairs a tug of his hair with a roll of her hips.

His heart is jumping with joy with every kiss she gives him. Her lips begin to trail away from his lips and move to his cheeks, nose, eyes, scar, forehead, anywhere they can reach. He can’t help the smile that overtakes his features, feeling so grateful for the love he was getting. He’s never given it a second thought when other people kiss him, but to be honest other people’s kisses weren’t making him feel so giddy inside. He can’t help but roll his hips into her core when her mouth meets his sweet spot, and he lets out a deep groan that has Y/N clenching down on nothing. His hands move down her body, and he lets his fingertips dance along the hem of her shirt. Her lips pull away from his neck as she nods at him, throwing her hands up in order to make it easier for him to pull her shirt over her head.

Kakashi groans at the sight beneath him. Y/N pulls him down to meet her lips again, getting shy from the way he was looking at her. Her hands move down his back to tug his shirt, and he seems to get the hint when he pulls away briefly to take off his shirt. Y/N doesn’t get time to admire his body. His lips are on hers in a heated kiss and they both begin to unbutton the other’s pants.

“Wait,” Y/N whispers in between kisses, gently pushing his hands away from the waistband of her pants.

“Your wound,” Kakashi comments as he moves back on the bed. He helps her take her pants off slowly, and his eyes immediately inspect the bandages on her leg. A small frown is placed on his lips, “do you think we should wait?” He worries, but her hands pulling down his pants make them all concerns go away.

“No.” She simply replies, undressing the man in front of her. With each passing minute, their kiss gets more and more heated, and they’re in less and less clothes. Kakashi takes brief moments to admire the girl beneath him. He could tell she was shy, and he couldn’t begin to fathom why. His mouth moves from hers and begins to kiss down her neck, searching for the spot that drew the sweetest moans from her. Y/N tugs on his hair so gently that it was endearing. Her legs tighten around his now bare waist to grind her core against his hard cock. She’s making him lose his self-composure, but he wasn’t one to complain.

He continues to kiss down her neck and down the valley of her breasts before moving to wrap his mouth around her taut nipple. The action makes her arch her back in his favour, and he glances up to watch her flushed reactions. He switches to the other nipple, making sure they were both getting the attention that they deserve. He can’t help himself but let his teeth sink in gently around the supple skin, and from the gasp that she emits, she seems to like it. Before he lets himself get carried away, he continues to slowly kiss down her stomach, his cock twitching in his underwear in anticipation. By the time the laced edges of her panties reach his mouth, he bites down again. He pulls her underwear down with his teeth, and Y/N, if possible, grows wetter from the sight.

“Tsk, stop hiding from me,” Kakashi frowns when she closes her legs shyly, “you’re too gorgeous for that.” He shakes his head, giving a little smirk when she blushes more from his compliment. If she gets any cuter, he will explode. Gently prying her legs open, Kakashi welcomes the sight before him. Her pussy was glistening, and it made his mouth water. Suddenly, he was the thirstiest man in the world.

Wasting no time, he dives right in. There was nothing endearing with the way that she was pulling on his hair now. He loved the mild pain he was feeling when she pulled on the soft tufts of grey hair. He loves how her legs are wrapping around his neck the way her arms once were. He loves how close she actually wants him.

He continues to move his tongue along her folds, happily collecting all of her juices. She tasted sweet, sweeter than he had imagined the only sweet thing Kakashi likes is y/n’s pussy. Y/N’s mouth is hanging open, letting out the softest sighs and gasps that has Kakashi’s tongue happily lapping more and more of her juices to hear the noises.

“Kashi..” Y/N moans out the nickname in a daze, too lost in her own pleasure to notice how it affected the man in between her legs. His tongue circles around her entrance, and Y/N whines from the teasing gesture. She gasps when he sucks on her clit suddenly, a warm wave of pleasure coursing through her body from the action.

She feels his tongue push into her entrance and she mewls in response. The wet muscle darts in and out of her soaking core, and she’s forced to close her eyes as her toes curl from the pleasure. She tries not to dig in her heels into his back, but his tongue is making her body react, not her brain. She feels a warm hand move to her hips, feeling it push them down against the bed. Y/N opens her eyes, not even realizing that she was rocking her hips against his mouth. She wishes she had kept them closed, maybe she would have lasted longer that way. As soon as she looks down she loses it.

Kakashi had one hand holding her hips down while the other was jerking himself off. She had made eye contact with him, and the pure lust in his eyes was enough on its own to have her cumming on his tongue. The pleasure rolled through her body in waves, and for a second she felt like she was floating off the bed. The knot that had formed in her stomach had released, and she threw her head back to catch her breath. Y/N can’t remember the last time she had felt that good, and at the moment she understood why he was so popular with the ladies. He cleans her up with his tongue, making her legs twitch when he gives her clit a gentle kiss. Unbeknownst to her, that was the sweetest treatment it would get that night because his calloused fingers would be a lot rougher on it than his slick tongue. Y/N sits up and eagerly pulls him into a kiss, figuring that the action would be better than words of praise. She kisses his neck and chest while her hands fully tug off his underwear. Before Y/N could suck him dry, he stops her.

“Wait wait, I want to make you feel good.”

“I want to make you feel good too..”

“Tomorrows another day,” Kakashi says. He realizes what he says, and he hopes that it didn’t come off as if he was expecting her to do anything for him. “W-wait I-I didn’t mean to assume-“

Before he could voice his concerns, Y/N cuts him off with a kiss.

“Tomorrow’s another day.” She smiles at him, making all of his worries go away. He mirrors her smile, feeling the warmth creep up his chest and over his cheeks. He kisses her sweetly and lays her back, once again settling in between her legs. He continues to kiss her, taking his sweet time to work her up again. It didn’t take long, considering how much she wanted him inside her. Y/N, feeling more confident now than before reaches in-between their bodies as they kiss and wraps her delicate fingers around his cock. Kakashi groans against her lips, and her body shivers at the sound. She moves so the tip of his dick pushes against her folds, and they both moan against each-others mouths, lost in the brief moment. He lines himself up with her entrance and pulls away from her.

“Are you sure?” He asks once again, wanting to give her the opportunity to voice her any worries she might have before doing this. She simply nods and pulls his hips against hers, feeling him sink into her inch by inch. She drops her head back in the pillows and bites her lip from the pleasurable pressure.

“O-Oh…you’re big Kakashi..” She sighs out when he bottoms out, “don’t move yet.” She whispers before connecting her lips with his. He listens to her, of course, and kisses her sweetly, enjoying the moment. She felt good, too good to be true and for a moment Kakashi thinks that he’s dreaming. He doesn’t think he’s that big, bigger than average at most, but he’s convinced that she’s just tight. He takes note of how good she feels wrapped around him, her walls fitting snugly around his cock. It was like a warm sleeve made just for him, that’s how perfect it fit. He feels her hands move to his waist to push his hips back gently, and he takes the hint. He slowly begins to move in and out of her, dropping his head in the crook of her neck to let out an audible groan.

He’s caught himself by surprise. He’s never this vocal during sex but then again he doesn’t think he’s ever had it be this good. She feels amazing, and with each thrust, he can feel her get wetter and wetter. As he picks up the pace, more and more of both of their moans can be heard.

“F-faster…please.” She breathes out, digging her nails into his back. He bites into her neck and rocks into her faster, her moans and pleading in his ear allowing himself to lose himself in his own pleasure. He reaches in between their bodies and rubs her clit in small circles. His hips stutter when she clenches down around him.

“Fuck Y/N…” he pants into her ear, “I don’t know how much longer I can last.” He should be embarrassed really from how out of breath he sounded but the pleasure was too strong for him to give it a second thought. As long as he got her cum before him, then he would be happy. He rubs her clit faster, pushing into her deeper and deeper. The bed rocks harder, and he hopes that the loud thumps heard against the wall isn’t as loud as it sounded.

“I’m gonna..mmph…I-I’m gonna cum..” She pants out into his ear, and he can feel her pulsing around his cock. He moves his head to kiss her lips, encouraging her to let go. She reaches her high, and a string of moans and parts of his name stream out of her parted lips as he continued to rock into her, letting her ride out her high.

Kakashi throws his head back, letting out a few curse words from how tight she was. His hips stammer and he pulls out, cumming in thick, long ropes on her thighs. His whole body is shaking, and he can’t help but lean back into her. Both of their bodies are pressed together. He was supporting most of his weight on his forearms. Both of them were lost in their own bliss. Kakashi recovers fully before Y/N does, and he uses the little energy he has left to get a warm towel for her. He wipes the cum off her leg and makes sure she’s clean before tossing it to the side. He would worry about it later.

Y/N slowly opens her eyes, finding Kakashi staring at her. He has a hazy, yet goofy smile on his face and it warms her inside to see him happy. He holds out a folded t-shirt for her, hoping that she was planning on staying the night.

“Thank you.” She feels drained, in a good way, as she pulls the shirt over her head.

“Would you like some water?” He offers her a water bottle but she shakes her head, eyes droopy from how tired she was. She gets under the covers and cuddles up to his side.

“You still owe me dinner.” She mumbles sleepily. Kakashi chuckles, holding the woman closer to his warm body.

“I’ll buy you breakfast tomorrow.” He whispers, unsure if her closed eyes indicated that she was relaxing or sleeping. Either way, he smiles to himself, happy that for once everything worked in his favour.

#i have no idea what this says anymore #from my archived blog #i just felt like i needed to post some writing on here and this was the laziest way to do it :P #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #naruto #strawberry mochi #it would still be nice if you could possibly #maybe let me know some kind of feedback so i know what works with my writing and what doesn't #thank you for your time #kakashi hatake smut #naruto x reader #kakashi x reader smut #kakashi smut #naruto smut

1K notes · View notes

heartfullofleeches · 2 years

Text

Yandere Show Host (oc) x Gn! Co-Host Reader

Word count:3.k

Warning: cheating, psychological horror, body horror

“It’s cold up here…”

Cool tiles cradle you, curved edges gliding against the back of your legs as you pull them to your chest. You cover your knees with the hem of your shirt, trying to fight the cold in any way possible. The harsh wind slapped at your face and arms; world at your feet from the edge you sat on. You wanted to feel like you were on top of it all. To shout and feel like you mattered to the universe; but it was hard to do so with no comfort at the end of your cries – neither below nor beside you.

“I think we should take a break.”

You ball your fist into your clothes. He doesn’t even look at you when he says it.

“You know I care about you. I just… don’t think I’m ready for this kind of commitment, yet. I’ll.. call you when I am.”

You pull your phone out of your pocket. He’s still right beside you, but so – so far away. You stare down at it, hoping; pleading for his ring tone to play. Praying he won’t leave you again to spend a night in another’s arms.

“Y/n, ugh- come on. Don’t do this.”

Your hands shake. It’s always your fault.

“We just need a little time apart.”

Always we. Your feet feel like they’re losing stability; slipping off to the abyss below.

“Y/n. Y/n?!”

Y/n?

You open your eyes. A fan hangs over a velvet ceiling, chandelier below swaying as it blows air down on you. Floral shaped glass that held identical lights as their bulbs. Satin pillows held your back, soft enough to lure you back to sleep near immediately – had you been laying on them completely. Your limbs hung off the side of the couch, neck supported by a hand at its base. The skin was so cold; draining your natural heat till it mellowed into a neutral temperature. The permanent smile on your co-host's face greets you as you turn your attention to him, shoulders rising with a laugh.

“What have I told you about sleeping on the couch, you silly thing.” Host chimes. “You’ll get a crook in your neck. Bad for the show and yourself.”

You sit up with his aid, stretching the exhaustion and ache away with a yawn. The rest of the room wasn’t much to look at. A tall mirror clung to one wall, dressing table pushed in front and light bulbs screwed into its golden frame. Vases of flowers and various cases of makeup lined the table, the latter hardly ever put to use. A rack of clothing stood not too far off, every article tailored to your measurements as apposed to posted to Host’s lanky, slightly built frame. Lastly, there was a grey door, covered by sheer curtains and your name bolded in cursive across its wood. A place where your near every desire lied.

“I'm sorry. Yesterday had me a little more winded than usual.”

“Should we take a break for today then? We can have a good show any day, but a spectacular one only happens when you’re feeling 100%”

“No, no. I’m fine.”

“Wonderful. Shall we get ready then?” Host offers his hand, lifting you to your feet effortlessly. You walk over to the table, taking a seat upon the cushioned chair in front of it. Host tends to your hair, combing out your bedhead with his long fingers. Gentle strokes that fall down to the nape of your neck; relishing in the life beneath his fingertips. He hums to himself, satisfied with his work. With the fact he had such a stunning co-host. His chin rests atop your head; head tilted towards the mirror at you. In the corner of your eye lies your old phone dormant on the edge of the table. It vibrates with the arrival of a call.

“Absolute perfect! Everyone’s gonna love you out there.”

You flash a tired smile, ridding yourself of the hallucination as you look away. How long has it been since you became his co-host? You couldn’t remember. Time stood still for the most part; your only notion of it bring a bell that would toll before the start of each show. It was frightening at first. As a contestant, your time was spent cowering under the audiences' awaiting gaze; but upon your glorious win they did nothing but sing praises to the heavens – celebrating the new permanent figure on their stage. Though he’d never tell another soul, Host walked you through everything until that point. A bit of a cheat, sure, but he knew you’d be wonderful at everything after. They loved you, eternally – even when there were those days you wondered what life was like back home.

“What’s with that look? Do you need something?”

Host snaps his fingers, a stage hand appearing front the shadows. They looked so close to human; differences spilt only when given a long glance. Crooked hands carry a tray; skin an even deeper grey than his. Their neck was a few inches too long; face blank except for a pristine smile – just like your dear Host. He takes a pitcher from the tray, pouring you a glass of water into a cup that wasn’t there moments ago. His hands rest on your shoulders, smoothing the knots in your joints.

“Please let me know what you need.”

You look down. “I was just wondering…if anyone missed me back home.”

The ice in the glass settles. Silence kicks in too long to be comfortable, before Host’s body begins to shudder once more. It quakes with the force of his laughter. His form hutches over yours, trying to keep the laughs inwards to his best extent. He wipes an imaginary tear from an imaginary eye before addressing you again.

“Of course they miss you! You’re bound to be the highlight of anyone’s day, Y/n, but you must remember, this is home now. You’re no bigger of a star to anyone than us.”

“I.. I know, but I cant help it sometimes, y'know?” You say, offering a small chuckle of your own.

Of course he knows. He knows everything about you. Fears, likes and dislikes, – regrets. Your every dream; both in regards to what you desire and those images in your head. If it weren’t for his permanent smile, he’d be grinning with anticipation for what he had in store.

“Yes, I understand, dear. Just know that you belong here, and we’ll never let go.”

His hands clutch the sides of your arms, head angled awkwardly in the mirror. Just – staring. An alarm rings from nowhere, shutting off abruptly after the third buzz. Host clasps his hands together – you jumping at the sharp sound of his palms meeting. He smooths his slick hair back further and pulls your seat out for you.

“Well that’s our cue! Ready to give our fans another great performance?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Wonderful. Let’s get to it then.”

You stand to your feet once more, joining Host at a large curtain on the other end of the room; stage lights seeping from beneath the fabric. He exits before you, getting the crowd nice and warm up before your entrance just as he always did.

“Gooood day, lovely viewers! Welcome back to another show with your truly; your forever host – Host!”

The audience cheers. Shrill cheers that become muffled beneath the soundtrack playing around.

“Yes, yes. Hello to you all too. And what a delight greeting it has been so far. We can’t forget our wonderful co-host though, now can we? Give it up for our better half; the lovely as ever, Y/n!”

That’s your mark. The curtain bends under your hand, parting before you can even push them aside. The mutters from the crowd begin. As soon as your legs sweep over the stage floor their voices rise. The headlights blind you momentarily as you step out fully; wrapping you in a daze that felt like waking on another world. Your attire changes under the darkness behind your eyes, microphone in hand; and posture straightening as you greet your adoring fans.

“Greetings, everyone! It’s a pleasure to see you all again.”

The shouts from the crowd are just as; if not more appraising as they were for your partner. You smile and wave; soaking up the attention. Host couldn’t be more proud.

“I think we’re ready to begin another fabulous show. And quite a special one we have today. Y/n, do you know what today is?”

“Uh.. Wednesday?”

Host laughs, followed by a few chuckles from the audience.

“Oh, Y/n. Wednesday was last month. Today is the one year anniversary of you being our gracious star!”

The lights flicker off, returning with a central beam pointed directly at you. A banner hangs over head; congratulating you on the anniversary in bold, red lettering. Balloons and confetti fall around you. The audience hollers in cheer.

“We do love our co-host, don’t we now? Unfortunately, it seems to me that they don’t understand the lengths of our affection. By the end of today’s show I think they’ll have a change of heart.”

Your throat feels dry. What was he on about? Keeping a straight face, you smile into your mic.

“Thank you, all so much. You’re too kind..”

“Haha. No, Y/n, I think you are.. Let’s bring out our contestant!”

The room goes dark once again, more abruptly than the last. When everything settles, the layout of the stage had changed. The vacant area to your right was now blocked by a half wall you could see around if you peak – screen above showing all you needed to see. A large red heart was pastured to the wall behind, three chairs and a podium placing in tow. A landline phone was placed on a stand, as well as one on the podium. Shadows sat to each chair, dim lighting concealing their faces. The fourth stood at the podium, writhing around in place with muffled cries. You could see the outline of fingers over its mouth; the silhouette of more limbs encasing its body and keeping it in place.

“The game of this episode is all about missed connections. In our lives, we make so many new ones, we have to snip the old to make room. No matter how strong the cord may be. Our eager bachelor here knows a lot about that, which is why he’s perfect for our show! Put your hands together for, S!”

Illumination returns to the other half of the stage. The arms around the contestant vanish with the glow; leaving a blindfolded and shaken up man in their stead. Beads of sweat drip from his temple; him squirming in place like he was trying to get off the podium, but was unable. His hands were stuck to the surface no matter how hard he pulled. He was dresses in a letterman’s jacket, the embedded S pealing from the stitching – just like you remembered.

“Host?...”

His glance falls upon you for a single second, before he faces the crowd like nothing happened.

“Quite a looker, isn’t he? Our helpers for today thought so too at one point.”

“H-hey.. hey, what the hell is this? Where am I?!”

“Speaking out of turn are we? I wouldn’t advise that, unless you want to face a penalty. “

The man clams up, shaking like a dog in rain.

“Onto the rules of the game. One by one, our helpers will walk up to the phone and list a few things about themselves. It’s our contestant’s job to remember a single fact about them – their name. Three rounds for three members of his past. Simple enough, right?”

“Please.. I don’t know what I’ve done, but-"

Host lends into his microphone. “Shut up and play by our rules or face punishment like every other rule breaker. ..Let’s bring out our first assistant. Walk on down, A!”

The shadow in the seat closest to the telephone stands up. Their appearance becomes visible as they step into the light. They appeared to be a normal human being; all up to the left side of their face. It was smudged like someone rubbing off make up; lips stretched to their ear and eyelid permanent closed from the abnormality. They pick up the receiver, phone on the other end ringing in response. The constant quivers more, refusing to answer.

“Pick it up.”

The function in his arm is brought back as he hesitantly picks up the phone, putting it to his ear.

“H…ello?”

“We met a weekend in February. I blew you a kiss, you slipped your phone number into my pocket. They had no clue while you held their hand the entire time.”

“Fuck… fuck! Um, February.. R… Riley! Your name is Riley!”

“Corrrect!” Host exclaims. The man breathes a sigh of relief as the crowd cheers. You stare at the ground. Overtime you grew a numbness to the contestants and their cruel fates. You had to, if you wanted to keep your sanity; but this was too much. Too close to home. Home you foolishly believed to be yours alone for years. It feels hard to breathe.

“Everything alright, Y/n?”

“Yea.. Yes just….” You force yourself to bright up. “Excited for our guest getting his first question correct.”

“Glad to hear it! Onto the next one.”

The assistant at the stand leaves and the next makes their appearance. Body littered in bite marks; namely the neck and chest area. They ooze with a black liquid, dripping onto the phone as they take hold.

“We hooked up in the bathroom of the local theater. I saw you leaving a movie with your arm around someone thirty minutes later. You called me the next day. Who am I?”

The man’s lip quivers. “I.. I..”

Steps draw near him. The assistant peers over his shoulder, receiver still in hand. The cord slaps against his neck, tightening as their breath hits his face. They repeat into the phone, unable to take otherwise.

“Frankie.. Oh, god.. Frankie.”

His shoulder heave at the second round of applause. Tears fall from beneath his mask; rambling to himself as his nails rack against the podium.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-“

“Marvelous! Only one round to go.”

The process repeats. The final assistant walks to the stage. Their skin a pure black, eyes crossed out with a red, crayon like ink. The same ink was sprawled over their chest like an crude, anatomically accurate heart; bleeding down their torso. Their lips moved unnaturally as they spoke, like a frame by frame picture.

“I was the one who you came to most. You promised we’d be together eventually. I smiled when they went-"

“Blair…” The answer comes out in a quiver. He can’t bring himself to say more. He falls to his kneels; forces holding him like a puppet on a string allow him his moment of weakness. Your own legs feel like they’ll give out as well.

“Annnd there we have it, folks! Our contestant has finished all three base questions, but there’s still the bonus around for him to complete.”

“No, no, no. No, fuck you! You said I only had to do three! You lied!”

“Now, now. When did I say “only? Let’s get too it.”

The lights flicker yet again. There’s only a chair on stage, you now in it, and under the crowd's perpetual stare. They feel closer than normal, faceless grins shifting further upwards; socket-less eyes wide open and trained on you. Host appears on the screen above, speaking for the final assistant.

“We met in high school.”

“No.. please..”

“I was the one that learned to sew when you couldn’t afford the jacket for your team.”

“Not you… Anyone, but you.”

“I was there for you when your mother died. Covered your shifts for you and took care of you when you were sick.”

“You can’t be here..”

“You abandoned me everytime I poured my heart out to you.”

“I was scared…”

“Who am I?”

“Don’t make me say this..”

“Who. Am. I.”

“I don’t know!”

Your heart sinks in your chest.

Wrong answer~

Suddenly, everything returns to normal – as normal as it could be in this twisted place. The assistants are back, all staring past you at the contestant. He rips the blindfold from his face, looking around the room. Fear streaked his face as his eyes fell on the assistants, and you before them; silent and in tears.

“Y/n… Is that really you?”

You turn away. The assistants stand.

“Y/n! I’ve looked everywhere for you. It’s me..”

He steps off the podium towards you. They advance.

“Everyone else gave up, but I still search. I’m sorry for everything done. Please… I love-"

They grab onto him. Arms around his neck, torso, legs. Their skin melts into his; merging as they begin to drag him off stage.

“Y-y/n help! I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please!”

Your eyes remain on the floor. Even if you wanted to save him you couldn’t.

“I didn’t want to say that! The blindfold! Y/n!”

He’s gone. You’re alone once again. During the whole event the audience remains silent. You don’t know what to do.

Finish the show. It never starts. It never ends. Without you.

“A-and that brings us to the end of another show with your host, Host. And me as your co-host – Y/n!”

The crowd goes wild. It’s a standing ovation. Their hands clap like fireworks popping in your ears. Their praise rang to the high heavens. Howls, whistles, holders; all in your name for another amazing performance. Confetti falls in your hair, roses and other bouquets of flowers at your feet.

The set up is gone. It’s just you, Host, and your adoring fans. One arm snakes around your waist as he proclaims into the microphone.

“Is that all you got for our shinning star? Give it your all!”

An encore of approval, from the people whose love for you knew no end. The people who depended on seeing you every day and never tired from it. You relish in the saudade of their praise; raised further by one new member of audience who could finally give you the love he never could before.

1K notes · View notes

gretavangroupie · 1 year

Text

Vigilance (Chapter 10)

Word count: 22.6k

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Jake x OC

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon. Please go show her some love!

STRANGE HORIZONS:NASHVILLE

ONE DAY BEFORE SHOW

JAKE POV

This is how it always was the day before tour. Josh barking orders at everyone, Sam waiting until the last second to do everything that should have been done weeks ago, Daniel trying to satisfy Josh’s requests, and you, sitting back watching all of it unfold from the comfort of the broken-in leather couch. The office was buzzing with crew and staff working to make sure everything was packed away correctly and not a thing was left behind. Old friends reuniting, anxious for another leg of tour to begin.

Tensions were high, as they so usually were before you left for a show. Packing up an entire band was no small task, and you weren’t sure why they always waited until the day before to do it. You were especially wound up today, still reeling from the events over the last few days. You still hadn’t made amends with Sam, but you knew you would today. You had to. You couldn’t start tour off on a bad note, right?

You watched until you noticed his tasks being steadily checked off the list one by one, and when he found himself ready to take a break, you knew you had your chance. You grabbed two beers from the cooler and walked back over to meet him on the couch. You extended the bottle out to him, and his eyes met yours as he took it. It’s a start.

You sat down next to him, twisting the lid off of the bottle as you relaxed into the seat. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes Sammy boy?” you asked, hoping that using his nickname would help soften the mood he was in.

“Looks like you already are…” he replied with a gentle smirk.

You took a pull from the lip of the bottle, letting the cold liquid calm your nerves.

“Sam… I’m…really sorry about everything I said the other day. I was completely out of line to say those things to you. I’m not trying to make excuses here, I know I fucked up, but after everything with Sophia, I just… unleashed on you. I didn’t mean it. I really am sorry. I get it if you need more time, I just… I’ve been thinking about you the past couple of days and I just want you to know I love you. I don’t think you’re a fuck up. I’m really proud of you. For everything. Really.” you rambled nervously.

He took a sip of his beer, trying to conceal the smile on his lips as he replied, “I missed you too. You had a couple low blows in there, but it's all in the name of brotherhood right? Also, I love you too.” he laughs, placing a forceful hand on your shoulder. “Phew, glad we got our yearly I love you out of the way, huh? Early this year…” he jokes.

There he is. There's your Sammy.

You held your beer up, clicking the glass bottle with his, “Until next year…” you toast. He laughs and looks over to Daniel, wrapping up some cording with velcro.

“You’re right, you know,” he adds.

“About?” you ask.

“Her. You know, if she was… with me and everything. It would have been the biggest fuck up ever. Monumental.” he said, turning to look at you. “The first time we ever slept together we talked right before…made sure this wasn’t going to turn into something else, because neither of us wanted that. I think really, we just wanted to feel close to each other again. Both of us made it very clear that there weren’t any feelings involved. It was just purely sex with someone we loved and trusted. No feelings involved. That’s all it ever was, Jake. I haven't had feelings like that for her in years. Is she gorgeous? Of course. Have I always wanted to sleep with her? Well, yeah. But I’d never steal your girl Jake... I’ve always known who her heart belongs to.” he says.

You swallow harshly, really taking in everything he’s saying. “It’s just… hard to watch, you know?” you ask.

“I know. But it’s not something I thought we should keep from you. I feel like that would have only made it worse when you did find out.” he replies. “Also… I’m really sorry about Sophia… I can’t believe she was doing that. I can’t believe we saw her. You should have seen Y/N when she spotted her in the restaurant. She was hysteric for a second.”

“I would’ve been, too. Things had been a little rocky between us the past few weeks. She was acting different…And you know what? I’m happy to be free of her, feel like I can breathe again.” you say, swigging your beer.

“I guess I’m just sorry everything played out the way it did. We just felt like you needed to know, and we wanted to tell you in person. I didn’t expect it to be such a disaster.” he says.

“It’s partially my fault, as soon as she started in on you I should have told her to leave. I am so embarrassed at the things she said to you. To Y/N. I wasn’t sure she was ever going to talk to me again. I wouldn’t blame her.” you sigh.

“You know she… she listened. Finally.” he said.

What?

“What do you mean? Listened to what?” you asked.

“Our music… did she not tell you?” he asked.

“No, tell me what?” you asked, genuinely confused.

“Up until about a week ago, she had never listened to any of our recorded music. The last thing she ever heard from us was the Black Smoke EP.” he said.

Shock coursed through your body. “What? Why?”

Had she really never heard? Every song you wrote for her, fell upon ears that wouldn’t understand. The lyrics you wrote to her, begging her to come back to you… she never heard them?

“Well, to put it simply, she couldn’t handle it. Emotionally, mentally… Think about it Jake. Would you want to listen to your ex play love songs about you?” he asked.

“No, but… not one song? Not a single song, in the past what, three, four years?” you asked, trying to wrap your head around it.

“She said she heard Safari Song in the grocery store once, but she turned around and walked out because it struck a nerve she wasn’t ready to tend to yet.” he said.

“So… she listened though… last week? Why now?” you asked.

“She said her boss assigned it to her, since we are under UMG. She listened to everything…she came over to my house after.” he stopped.

“Was she….” you started.

“Was she okay? No…She was a wreck Jake. I think you know that. Practically inconsolable for a while. She had a feeling about one in particular… but she couldn’t even ask.” he said, eyes cast down to the floor as he replayed the memory.

“So…she listened…to it...” you asked.

His eyes flicked up to yours, “Yeah. She did. About killed her I think. She wanted to know… if it was about her.” he paused, pushing his hands through his hair. “How sad is that, Jake? For her to even think for a second that it wasn’t. I told her of course it was about her. I told her they all were. I think she wanted to crawl into a hole and die right there.”

“How could she think they were about anyone else?” you whispered.

“She was pretty bad off there for a while, but I got her through it. Me and a bottle of wine, well almost two. She’s proud of us though, man. She loved it, I could tell she loved it. It spoke to her, just like we always wanted. We actually did it.” he said with a smile. “I wanted to cry, I was just so relieved she liked it...It felt– felt like it was all worth it. All those years… I missed her a lot. I know it was different for you, but you know, she was my best friend. I needed her too.” he says.

You were so busy feeling sorry for yourself back then that you never really stopped to consider that Sam lost his best friend. You were so cruel to him, to everyone really. Just a miserable person for a while. If you had known then what you know now….

“Anyways, you should talk to her about it someday. If you can. I know it's still touchy for you.” he adds.

“I will one day Sam. I’ll make it count. Thank you…for… talking to her about it. I know it probably wasn’t easy for you either.” you smiled.

“Anything for you brother,” he replied.

You both finished off your beers as you scrolled through your phones, waiting for Josh to finish up on his tirade about organization.

“Hey, she will be here in about 10 minutes, so make sure you have your shit done!” Josh called out through the office, everyone agreeing and finishing up their tasks.

“Who?” Danny asked.

“The tour coordinator… someone new this time, I think you’ll like her.” he replied with a smirk.

Fuck. She’s coming? Today? You were not prepared to see her until you absolutely had to, tomorrow.

“You good? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Sam joked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Hey I saw this the other day at a vintage shop, thought of you. Thought you might like it.” you say, opening your camera roll. You scroll through your pictures from that day, trying to find the one you took to show him. An old 60’s Sunburst Fender Acoustic. It had his name written all over it.

“Hey woah, what was that?” he says, swiping out of your photo.

“What?” you say, pulling your phone away from him.

“I swear I just…” he said, reaching over your arms, tapping on the photo of Y/N you received the other night.

“Oh my god. It is her.” he says, shocked. “How do you have that?”

You close out of it before anyone else sees, “Will you shut the hell up before one of them comes over here asking questions.”

“Sorry. But seriously… Why do you have that? Did you hack into my phone?” he asks.

“Hack into your phone? What? No? She… sent it to me. The other night. Completely unprompted.” you answer quietly, a smirk on your face.

“She sent it to you?” he asks, shock written across his face.

“Yes, Sam… for the second time. She sent it to me.” you reply.

“Well that’s interesting because she sent it to me, too.” he said matter-of-factly.

“The same one?” you asked.

“Exact same. We were…talking… it was the natural progression of the conversation but it came late…I thought she fell asleep.” he said. “Wait…what time did she send that to you?”

“Uh….” you said opening your text threads, and checking the time stamp. “10:46pm” you answered.

He dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and opening his texts, his eyes widening as he reached the photo. “Oh my god. I think…I think she sent it to you instead of me, by accident. Mine didn’t come until 11:26.” he said. “She must have panicked when she realized and sent it to me when she figured it out. Wait, what time did you text her back?”

“11:24…”

Panic sweeps through your body as you realize what he is saying. Were they…sexting? Was that really meant for him? A chill sweeps through your body as you put the pieces together. It would explain the situation. It was completely unprompted, and her not answering your reply suddenly started to make sense.

“Well, Sam… Here I was thinking she…No, nevermind. I suppose that explains why she didn’t reply.” you sigh.

“Oh god, she didn’t reply?” he asked.

“No, but she read it. Stayed up late just in case too…Stupid.” you said, shaking your head.

“Has she spoken to you since?” he asked.

“We don’t exactly talk Sam…” you replied.

“Oh it was totally an accident. I bet she is—wow. I will have to ask her about it.” he says.

“No the fuck you will not. Let it go Sam, I am so serious.” you threatened.

“Okay, sheesh…” he says, pulling away from your grip on his arm. “It is a hot pic though isn’t it?” he jokes.

“Shut the fuck up Sam, I will end your life right here.” you say through gritted teeth.

He laughs as you hear the beep of the security system, as someone opens the front door. You both turned to look at the door, and saw her walking in, looking stunning as ever.

“Oh my god, it’s like she heard us talking about her…What is she doing here?” he asks.

Does he not know?

Her eyes meet yours only for a second before quickly looking away. Okay so she is feeling some type of nervousness about being here.

Josh rushes over to greet her, thanking her for coming in at the last minute.

“Hey!” he yells, getting everyone's attention. “I know some of us know each other, but for those of you who don’t this is Y/N. She works with Collective and is going to be our coordinator and liaison for this tour. She’s gonna be on the road with us for a bit. She’s an absolute star and I know you all will love her so make sure you welcome her with open arms and show her how we do things around here!” he says, smiling.

You watch as Sam and Danny shoot looks towards each other, then to Josh as they comprehend what he’s said.

“That being said, I will turn it over to you, I’m sure you have things to tell us to get this party started.” he smiles at her.

You couldn’t help the chuckle that came from your chest as you watched Josh so happily introduce her. She was beaming. You had to admit, even though part of you wanted to kill Josh for this arrangement, you couldn’t wait to watch her do her thing, but more importantly you couldn’t wait for her to watch you do yours.

She began to pass out paperwork to everyone, her eyes flicking to yours for a millisecond as she handed you your paper, before turning her attention back to the rest of the room.

You could see something behind her eyes. You couldn’t place it, but you knew it. You’d seen it before.

“Hi everyone! I am really looking forward to working with all of you over the next few months, but before we go over everything I just want you all to know that if you ever have any questions or concerns, or even a request you can ask me, call me, text me… whatever is easiest for you. I will help you the best way that I can.” she says, directing her attention to the group of roadies huddled by the door.

“The paper I just gave to all of you outlines the accommodations for the Nashville show starting tomorrow. Your transportation, lodging and meal information should all be on there, specific to each one of you. Again, if you have any questions you can come to me.” she says with a smile.

The chattering in the background irks you. Are they even listening to her?

She continues to talk about the schedule for tomorrow, everything laid out right there on paper. As she makes her way through each bullet point you hear the crew still talking behind you.

“Hey boys, let’s listen up.” you say shooting them a stern look.

They quiet down immediately, returning their focus back to her. Her eyes flash over to yours, in a silent thank you. You nod your head ever so slightly.

You listen intently as she talks about the venue set up, soundcheck, and the time tables that will need to be followed, your eyes never leaving her for a second. To be honest you heard every word she said but your mind was elsewhere. Back in Michigan, swimming and laughing.

Everyone thanking her snapped you from your daydream. Suddenly people were approaching her, meeting her and introducing themselves. She handled the crew and staff like she had done it a thousand times before. Maybe she had?

“You gonna talk to her, or are you just gonna stare at her?” Sam asks.

You blow a breath out, leaning back into the couch, “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’d say. Just gonna give her some time. If she wants to talk to me, she will.” you reply.

“I cannot believe she is our coordinator.” He says, shaking his head.

“You’ve met Josh right? Meddling son of a bitch.” you laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right.” he laughs. “You pack yet?”

“Fuck no. Gonna do it when we’re done here.” you answer, standing up from the couch.

“Oh my god. We get to play for her.” he says, eyes wide with realization.

“Samuel, I am begging you to not say every thought that goes through your head.” you say with a sigh.

He smirks, walking off to meet her side.

Fuck. Not only will this be your first tour in a few years, but now she will be there watching?

You hadn’t fully considered that yet. You weren’t sure you were ready to think about it. You pushed the thought from your mind as you made your way over to Josh.

“I still can’t believe you did this…” you say with a fake smile.

“Everything is going to be fine. Great even. Watch and see.” he smirks.

“We done here?” you ask.

“I think so, what time do we have to be here in the morning?” he asks.

You pull the folded paper from your back pocket, reading out the travel details, “Says the van will pick us up here at 7:00 am. So… should we just meet at my place and ride over here together? Or Sam’s?” you ask.

“Let’s do yours.” he answers.

“You gonna be on time?” you laugh.

“Of course not.” he laughs, walking away, holding his thumb and pinky up to his ear, indicating he would call you later.

You shook your head, walking over to Danny, telling him the plans, before you started to make your way out. You clapped him on the back as you stepped away, “Tell Sam, alright?”

He nods his head as you turn to make your way to the door.

You scan the room one last time, eyes catching hers for a brief moment before you slipped out into the humid evening.

—

Your suitcase sat packed by the front door ready to go, after sitting for months in the closet practically untouched. Usually you looked forward to tour, the swirling of anxious energy in your stomach just before you left. The bright vibrant energy filling your body just before you took the stage. Playing live in front of a crowd was what kept you going. Recharging your battery each night as you watched them react to the music that flowed from your fingertips. You craved it. You needed it. But tonight you didn’t have that feeling. You were nervous. Jittery. Anxious.

You sipped the remnants from the glass in your hand trying to calm those nerves. A lowball glass filled with scotch was sure to do the trick, as you sat back and watched the rain hit the windows in your study. The wet drops rolling down to collect on the sill in large puddles. You placed the now empty glass on the table, grabbing your guitar from the stand as you strummed the old worn in strings. You let your mind drift off as you played, trying to process everything that happened today.

An accident. A mistake. How foolish of you to believe that that photo was meant for you. Of course it was for Sam. She’d never sent you anything like that before... Why would she start now?

And how stupid of you to reply. You should have known it wasn’t meant for you when she didn’t reply. You stayed up all night waiting for it…There was a reason it never came. As if things weren't awkward enough after the fight with Sam… this just made it worse.

Now you had to spend the next several weeks with her, pretending that it never happened and acting like you don’t remember every detail of the picture... The image of her body burned into your brain.

Was she as embarrassed as you were? You would be working with her in extremely close quarters for weeks…You really didn’t want things to be awkward… Should you talk to her about it?

No. Just let it go... It will pass, right?

Finally feeling the alcohol settling into your bloodstream, you began to relax. You placed the guitar back on the stand, and made your way to your bedroom. It was late, and you knew you had to be up in a few hours to get ready to go. You pulled your shirt over your head, and kicked your pants to the floor, before crawling into the comfort of your own bed for the last time for the next few weeks. You never did sleep so well in a bed that wasn’t your own.

You set your alarm, and placed your phone on the nightstand, flicking the switch on your lamp, leaving the room completely dark. You let a sigh leave your chest as you relaxed into your pillows, drifting off to sleep quickly with the help of the scotch and the patter of rain on the windows.

—

NIGHT ONE

HER POV

You were already awake when your alarm went off promptly at 6:00 am, your nerves keeping you only half-asleep all night. The first day of tour. You were excited, but the anxiousness was creeping into your bones and making itself at home. You’d gone over the itinerary a hundred times before bed, and a hundred more times while you tried to fall asleep. Meeting times, rider copies, map locations, hotel confirmations…your brain felt fried already, and you hadn’t even left yet. You were thankful Allison had given you everything you needed to have accomplished on a nice organized checklist, making your life a bit easier.

You drug yourself from your bed and into your bathroom to take a quick shower. You’d already picked out your outfit for the day, some dark wash jeans and a simple top. Cute but professional. You’d be meeting everyone at the office to load the van in exactly one hour.

While you rushed around your home chugging coffee and gathering essentials, you thought about Jake, and how his eyes had met yours for the briefest of moments yesterday. You were still so embarrassed and ashamed, but you had to keep on a happy face for the sake of your job. This was no time to let your emotions show through. You had a lot to accomplish, and proving yourself was at the top of your list.

—

You arrived at the office with fifteen minutes to spare, giving you ample time to run over everything again. You grabbed all your things from your trunk, and packed them into the crew van before you checked in with the driver. You brought out your iPad checklist and made yourself a few notes and reminders. Cars began to fill up the lot and roadies and crew members began to unload their things. No one had presented you with questions yet, thank goodness. Deep breaths, all is well so far. You checked the time, 6:55. Perfect.

After a quick headcount of everyone riding in the van, you finally began to feel a bit more at ease. Thankfully, Allison had given you the tip to always lock in early hotel check-ins. ‘They’re always late for everything...leave yourselves time to spare.’ Fortunately, you’d known that fact since you were kids.

You finally saw Jake’s car pulling into the lot a whopping fifteen minutes late. All four of them piling out of the vehicle to unload their bags. 7:15... Not too shabby. They walked over to the vans with sleep still in their eyes, except Josh, of course. He was always a morning person. He took you in an immediate embrace, placing his positive and comforting energy directly onto your skin. How did he always know exactly when to do that?

“First day, big day! You ready?” He asked in your ear, not letting you go until you answered. He smelled like patchouli with a hint of hibiscus and vanilla. You took a second to breathe, letting his familiar scent calm your nerves.

“I think so, Joshy. I hope.” He released you after a big squeeze, his long curls flowing in the early morning breeze. He gave you a reassuring smile. “Killing it already, hot stuff.”

You did notice Jake seemed a bit more chipper than he usually was at this hour. He didn’t have his normal dark circles and sullen face…instead he looked bright-eyed and anxious. The rest of the guys made their way over to you. Sam brought his hand to his brow, playfully saluting.

“Samuel Francis Kiszka, bass and keys, reporting for duty. My name should be first on the list in the VIP section. I’m actually in the band.” He glanced and pointed to your iPad, typing his fingers erratically causing your screen to go wild.

“Stop it Sam, geez!” You laughed. “Get in the van.”

He clicked his tongue and gave you a wink.

“Morning sunshine, ready to kick ass today?” Danny said through a warm smile, showing all his teeth.

“Let’s hope so,” you returned his sweet smile.

“You got it, no question.” He reassured you.

Lastly came Jake. He brought his eyes to meet yours, and you felt every nerve ending explode with embarrassment all over again. He gave you a curt half-smile and nodded his head, climbing into the van without a word. His cheeks had pinkened a little, and you were sure yours had done the same. Awkward. So awkward.

After everyone was loaded up and accounted for, you made sure no one had any questions, and you climbed into the front seat of the crew van. You felt an overwhelming sense of nervousness and relief at the same time. You’d attack this day step by step. These guys were all professionals and had done this song and dance a million times. It was their world, and you were just orchestrating it.

——

Checking into the hotel proved to be a simpler task than you anticipated, getting everyone their key cards and on their way to their rooms going very smoothly. You knew that you had to get them to the venue for sound check as quickly as possible so once you figured they had enough time to settle, you sent a group text asking them to meet you in the lobby. It was a very short ride to the venue, and you were excited to be behind the scenes and have access to everything that happened backstage.

You watched as everything was unloaded from the trucks and brought inside the amphitheater. It was amazing to watch the crew work like a well-oiled machine quickly putting up the stage and equipment in record speed. Though this was the first show back in a while, they all worked well as a team setting up the new stage equipment just like the guys envisioned.

You were rushing around like a crazy person, answering phone calls, replying to tons of texts, checking to make sure the riders were fulfilled, and trying to keep Allison updated with everything. So far, so good. Eight hours until openers.

“Guys, the stage is set. You wanna come see?” You asked the four of them as they gathered around a makeshift coffee table full of lunch items. Their eyes lit up, ready to see the stage they’d dreamt of for months finally brought to life.

You led them around the small corridors of the beautiful outdoor venue, and into the pit area. They erupted in astounded cheers seeing it all put together. You grabbed your walkie-talkie and radioed to the light booth. “Randy, can we hit the lights?” You asked. A few seconds later, a voice came over the radio. “Sure thing.” The main spot lights came on and illuminated the stage in a beautiful and clean white light, showing off the lighted platforms and spires that lined the backdrop. They fell into ‘ooo’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ in unison as they took it all in.

“Holy shit, it’s perfect!” Josh proclaimed.

“Yeah guys, yes!” Sam yelled to the crew. They all clapped and cheered, and ran onto the stage to begin checking their sound. Relief. You knew it would be even more perfect once it got dark outside.

You took a second to run backstage and collect yourself, use the restroom, and grab something to eat as you knew the rest of the day was going to be even more chaotic. You checked in with craft services to see that everything was refilled for the crew, now that they were done with their part. You relaxed on a couch for a free second, ignoring your buzzing phone and nagging notifications. You could hear the low droning sound of their instruments coming together, as they jumped into a song you didn’t quite recognize off the bat. It still sounded beautiful and haunting even from this far away. You closed your eyes and took in the moment, feeling pride overtake your mind as you listened to your best friends fulfill their dream. After a few grounding moments, you decided to check your phone and emails again.

An hour or so passed, and you noticed the music had stopped. You stood up to stretch and checked the time, not realizing how long you’d been lost in your phone. You began to meander around the backstage area again, when you were caught by a pair of familiar hands pulling you behind a trailer, out of sight.

“Samuel, what are you doing!” You whispered loudly.

“Nothing, just wanted to say hello properly. I haven’t gotten to tell you how good you look taking care of all of us like this.” He pinned your back to the trailer, and glanced around, checking that the coast was clear. Then he brought his lips to your neck, lightly kissing and nudging you.

“I love watching you in your element...it’s very attractive.” he whispered in your ear between pecks.

“Sam…be careful...there’s people everyw-” he cut you off, placing his lips on yours.

“Shhh...there’s no one around. Trust me. Do you trust me?” He glanced around again.

You nodded, reluctantly. You felt very out of place, letting him do this in such a manner in broad daylight, but god, his lips on your neck and his hands pinning you down was driving you wild. He had a knack for melting you into a puddle, that was for sure.

He immediately licked into your mouth, hot and sweet with just the tiniest taste of tequila on his lips. He brought his leg up to spread your knees apart, positioning himself so your core rested on his upper thigh. He pressed his body into you, sending a shockwave of pleasure through you, even from the slightest contact. You kissed him back hard, just now realizing how starved you’ve been for him without even noticing it. Your mind had been elsewhere lately.

“That photo you sent the other night...I can’t get it off my mind. You looked so sexy...God I wanted you so bad...” he trailed off, pressing harder against you. “You want me to send you something?”

You nodded again. “Mhmm...yes please.” you said into his mouth, biting his lip.

“I’ll see what I can come up with...” he said, pulling away. He began to back off, adjusting himself in his pants. He glanced around again, making sure the coast was still clear. “Silence my notifications, and change my name in your phone.” He said with a wink, and he was gone.

What? Change his name? Why? Did he know about the photo accident?

—

You headed back around to the main gathering area backstage after collecting yourself for a few minutes. Hot and bothered was an understatement.

“Y/N! Hey, I’d like you to meet someone.” Josh said as you entered the trailer. “This is Summer. She’s going to be our photographer!”

“Oh my god, hey! It’s so nice to meet you finally! I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet before, things have been chaotic.” You reached out to shake her hand. Summer was gorgeous. Tan, slender, and blonde with cute features and the prettiest blue eyes that hid behind thin wire glasses. She had a bright and friendly smile as she returned your handshake.

“Hey! So nice to meet you! I’m so excited to be here.” she said.

“I’ll leave you two to chat.” Josh said, taking off in the other direction.

“Let me show you around?” You asked, walking towards the stage.

“Yes, let’s go!” She grabbed her camera bag and you were off. You showed her around the venue and made sure she had her all access media and crew pass.

“The guys will want you to be around basically all the time, backstage and all. They’re really easy to get along with, which I’m sure you noticed meeting Josh.” You said.

“Yes, actually! He introduced me to the band. Everyone seems really nice! This is my third time going on a tour with a band, so I’m really starting to get my footing I think. I’m really excited to work with you guys!” She admitted.

“Well, they picked you for a reason. I saw some of your work, it’s fantastic. You’ll do just fine.” You reassured her with a smile, which she returned. You walked her around the grounds a bit more, showing her the areas you’d be occupying most and introducing her to people here and there. By the time you made it back, she had told you her life story in its entirety and you were already beginning to tune out the sound of her voice. She was sweet, but…

“So, this might sound forward but, are all of them…single?” She asked without an ounce of shyness in her voice. It took you by surprise.

“Umm, well… Sort of. Danny has a girlfriend but, the rest, yeah. Basically. I try not to keep up with their personal lives too much.”

Lie.

“Cool okay. I just didn’t want to, you know… Be weird about anything. Spending all this time together and all.” She replied, talking with her hands.

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, no I get that. For sure.”

“But, the quieter one with sunglasses, he plays guitar I think?” She rambled.

“Jake.” You said stoically.

“Yeah, Jake. He is fine. Made my heart skip a beat when he shook my hand. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked the brooding ones. The type you’d climb like a tre-”

“Summer. I get it... But remember you’re here to take photos and that’s it. Okay?” You felt yourself get an attitude at her lack of professionalism this early in the game. It had only been half an hour and you were already starting to be irked by her presence.

“Jake is very professional and likes to keep himself focused. He doesn’t allow himself much time for things like that.” you add, hoping she would take the hint.

Saved by the bell, your walkie talkie beeped with a request for you to go to the stage. “I’ve gotta go, good luck tonight!” You waved to Summer and left before she could get another nerve-grinding word out.

You approached the stage and were motioned back to the sound booth technician.

“Hey! We need our copies of the setlists! Almost forgot.” The woman laughed.

“Yes! I have them on my hard drive. I will bring them right to you.” You replied, rushing off to backstage, mad at yourself for forgetting to do that before you left the office. Luckily you had a portable printer installed in the crew trailer.

You printed off ten copies of the list, and read through it on your way back to the sound booth.

Wow, it was so strange seeing the names of all these songs that you’d just now become familiar with, the songs that were basically their children. You knew they were playing a few of these live for the first time tonight, and a whole new wave of nerves hit you like a freight train. You were so excited for them. So excited for their fans.

A few more hours passed, and you’d decided to join the guys for a little chat before things got hectic. They were all hanging around outside, warming up on acoustics and pre-gaming with seltzers and shots. They were all beaming with nerves, Josh and Sam hopping around expelling their pent-up agitation while Danny drummed on anything he could find. Jake sat comfortably in a lounge chair, feet up, strumming a quiet tune and watching his brothers in their natural states. He was so…attractive.

“Josh, why are you dressed already? You’re going to spill something on your suit!” You said, surprised. His outfit for tonight was a white jumpsuit with blue and green applique feathers, and it fit him like a glove. Tiny rhinestones caught the light as he jumped around, causing him to sparkle in the afternoon sun.

“Oh, love. I always do this. Sorry, but I get ready way too early. It’s just a…thing I do.” He threw his hands up, unable to elaborate any more. “But I make it a point to only drink clear liquids! I promise.”

You nodded nervously, wanting to cover him up with a jacket, a bib…something.

You peeked around to the front of the venue, seeing that hoards of people had started to gather at the gates. You checked your phone.

Allison 5:55pm: Almost time to get them dressed! Hope all is going well!

You 5:59pm: All is great! Thanks!

You took another few minutes, shooting texts to the other coordinators and radioing to check in with security. You couldn’t believe you’d gotten this far in the day without any major hiccups, and you were thankful. Maybe you could do this… You were doing this.

You glanced toward Jake, who was sitting naturally still strumming along and sipping something from a paper cup. You covertly watched as Summer made her way over to sit beside him, giving him all of her attention as she snapped a few photos, while likely telling him a story about something he cared nothing about. Just from the short time you spent with her, you knew she was going to be a great photographer, but inevitably get on everyone’s nerves.

Get away from him, he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s trying to get in his zone.

But to your surprise, you watched as he tilted his head back and laughed a hearty laugh, scrunching his nose up and giggling at whatever she was saying. She laughed too, leaning into him and quickly putting her hand to his thigh.

Oh really?

You scoffed under your breath and crossed your arms. She then pointed to his guitar, and began to ask him questions. It looked like he was explaining the guitar parts to her, while she watched him intently, all the while moving closer and closer to him, touching him any chance she got.

Doesn’t she have photos to take or something?

Suddenly, Sam was in front of your face, “Hey. You gonna nip that in the bud, or should I?” he asked motioning back to Summer and Jake with a head tilt. It shook you from the raging fire of jealousy growing in your chest.

You stood up quickly, clapping your hands together, “Alright guys, time to get dressed!” You announced, and they all began to excitedly make their way toward the trailer. You saw Summer look back toward you as Jake exited her bubble.

“You can sit this part out, Summer.” You said.

“And you get to watch them get changed? Lucky girl…” she said with a smirk.

You decided to not respond to that, and climbed the steps to the front door, closing it hard behind you.

—

After a few minutes, they were all dressed and ready to go...7:45 on the dot. Their openers had already begun their sets, filling the arena with sound. You stood in the trailer, and watched their stylist stand back and admire the art of the designer. Their outfits truly were a sight, all custom made to fit their visions.

The crew exited the trailer, leaving just you and the guys. Sam immediately felt comfortable enough to bring you in for a giant hug. “Errghhhh you did so great today! How are you feeling? Ready for the grand finale?”

You hugged him back, finally feeling alone enough with them to be your true self, “Yes, my job’s almost over. It’s your turn now.” You responded with a giggle.

Just then, Danny and Josh came and joined the hug, sticking you in the middle as they piled around one another. You glanced over and saw Jake standing off to the side, obviously feeling awkward about joining. You bravely raised your finger to him, motioning for him to join in. He wrapped his arms around his brothers as they all rested their heads on one another, taking a second to relish in the moment.

“My brothers, are we ready to rock and roll?” Josh asked.

“Never been more ready…” Danny agreed. They all spoke in little sentences of excitement and reassurance, patting each other on the backs and shaking off nerves. Never once letting their heads separate from touching in their circle, with you still directly in the middle. You stood awkwardly, but happy to be included in their embrace.

“Six brand new songs tonight, fellas. Do we have it?” Josh asked.

“Yeah we have it, do you have it?” Jake responded. You giggled.

“Yeah I fuckin’ have it as long as you keep me where I need to be.” Josh relayed.

“As long as these two assholes keep me where I need to be…” Jake went on.

“Don’t we always? Daniel and I are perfect...” Sam spat.

“Sounds like a plan, then. Let’s go do it.” Josh said.

Suddenly they hugged one another tighter, smashing their heads into yours and bringing your face impossibly close to Jake’s. You felt heat immediately rush to your face as his eyes flitted to yours, and locked there. He offered you the tiniest of smiles before he spoke.

“Love you guys?” He asked.

“Love you guys.” They all responded in unison. Then they all separated, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, drowning in emotional surprise.

“What was that? What was I just part of? Do you do that before every show?” You asked.

“Only since 2012, love.” Sam said, shooting you another wink as he descended the stairs, his baby blue suit hugging every curve. You felt a swell of admiration creep into your chest. You had gotten to be a part of their pre-show ritual.

You waited by the door for the guys to file out one by one, Jake stopping beside you at the very end. You noticed the collar of his beautifully embroidered navy blue suit was flipped up, and you instinctively reached to fix it. Your fingers accidentally brushing his neck in the process, sending an immediate and visible chill through him. You swallowed hard as you pulled your hand away from his collar.

“How do I look?” He asked in a low and gravelly voice, shyly bringing his eyes from the floor to you.

Before you could stop yourself, you whispered, “Still just as gorgeous as ever.”

His face softened and a smirk played at his lips, just as he turned to catch up with the rest of the guys.

—

The time had almost come for the guys to take the stage, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t just as nervous as they most likely were. Brand new tour, brand new songs, brand new era…

You knew they would absolutely kill it no matter what, but you were sure the anxiety was still high. The sound of the crowd was almost deafening even this far away, and at an outdoor venue at that. You never imagined there would be this many people.

Right before they were to head toward backstage, small plastic shot glasses were passed around to the surrounding crew, while Josh had everyone gather for a toast. You took the cup of what smelled like vodka, and raised it into the air. A familiar presence was suddenly by your side, meeting your extended arm with his own. Jake.

“Thank you all for being here, and making this happen tonight! To Strange Horizons!” Josh yelled above the lull of the screaming crowd. He held his tiny glass up, and everyone joined in with clanking theirs together before shooting the clear liquor. You turned a little toward Jake, as he held his cup up to yours.

“Cheers, love.” He said, barely tipping his cup to tap yours, raising his eyebrows with the smallest grin.

“Cheers…” was all you could manage through the thick sound of your heart beating in your ears. Love?

He tilted it back and swallowed its contents, and he was gone without another word. You stood there for a second collecting yourself.

“That shot’s not gonna take itself, babe!” Sam yelled, guiding your hand to bring it to your lips. You let the chilled liquid coat your insides, hoping that it would calm the storm that was brewing inside you. You heard Josh’s voice on the special intro monologue begin, and the crowd erupted in an explosion of screams.

“There you go...There she is!” Sam shouted as you finished downing the shot.

He brought his lips close to your ear, “Checked your phone lately?” He pulled away with a wink and a wide smile, and spoke loudly again. “You ready?!” And then he, too, was gone.

You felt your radio vibrate with sound, and you brought it close to your ear. “Two minutes, two minutes to stage.” your heart rate immediately picking up.

You looked around to make sure everyone was accounted for, and then rushed everyone toward the stage, security and other coordinators in tow. You could feel the energy radiating off of them. They were electric.

In seconds you found yourself side stage with the guys as they awaited their cue to walk. They took a second to peek at the ginormous crowd, a sea of raised hands and cell phones ready and waiting to capture the first seconds of their beloved band taking the stage again.

No one really spoke, not like you could hear anything over the audience anyway. Everyone exchanged looks and shoulder grabs, basking in their excitement together. You looked to Jake, who was pulling his guitar strap over his head, and offered him a genuine smile, silently wishing him ‘good luck’ as you could. He nodded and smiled back, still able to read your expressions even after all these years.

Suddenly the lights went out, and there was a beat of silence, their cue to storm the stage. You watched as they left your side and found their rightful spots with their instruments. Plugging in, and taking a deep breath.

As the lights faded up, Sam’s keys began the first song. Filling the arena with beautiful and ethereal sounds in a way that only he could. The crowd exploded into screams and cheers as they recognized the song. You watched on as thousands of people sang the lyrics back to the band, not missing a beat.

You found yourself having a hard time deciding whether to watch the show or watch the crowd. They held hands, they cried, they swayed as they sang...now you understood why this was so addicting for them. The fans gave so much energy, song after song, an unrelenting celebration with each tempo switch.

Your eyes carried themselves to Jake as you finally allowed yourself to watch him in his element. You’d been actively ignoring him the whole show so far, not letting yourself see him finally play, for real. You thought back, you hadn’t seen him play since that fateful night at the bar. Years ago. Even then he was a force to be reckoned with, but now, god, he held absolutely nothing back.

You watched as he pranced around, completely taken with the music he was creating, and even more taken with the effect it had on the audience…absolute madness. You could tell he fed off of it. Lived for it. The way his body moved was so sensual, tilting his head back and rolling his entire body with the sound. His facial expressions matched, too. You felt like falling into a hole when you realized you’d seen him make those faces before, years ago, locked up in his room for two days with nothing better to do than each other.

You had to force yourself to rip your eyes off of him. You noticed you’d been looking at only him for the past ten minutes or so. He was just so…mesmerizing to watch. The passion he felt while playing and interacting with the crowd and the rest of the band was a show in itself. And he sounded perfect.

Then you caught a glimpse of his torso…Holy shit…The lights from the stage were bouncing off the sweat dripping down his chest and stomach. The proof of his exertion in the heat of the summer night. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as the sweat dripped in a steady stream from his throat down to the button of his pants. Watching as he would occasionally wipe it between chords. That was a visual you did not need right now.

You turned around to collect yourself, and grab a drink of water. You checked your phone quickly; you’d completely forgotten Sam had asked you if you had earlier. You’d done what he said to do – silenced his notifications, and changed his contact name. You couldn’t think of a name off the top of your head, so instead you chose to just use ‘Keys’. You had a photo notification from him from a little over an hour ago. You stepped behind some equipment, and opened the attachment.

There it sat. A photo of him in a partially fogged-up mirror, in just a towel hanging low around his hips. He had wiped the fog from the mirror just enough that you could see him. His face, dark with lust. He was holding the towel together right at the top of his bulge, only the light smattering of dark hair visible, leaving almost everything to the imagination.

He was still dripping from his shower, the water glistening on his tanned skin. His wet hair falling at his shoulders with tiny droplets dripping from the ends, down onto his chest. He looked positively edible. His eyes lured you in, dark and focused, his jaw clenched tight. He wanted you. That much was clear.

You locked your phone screen and returned your focus to the show, trying to forget the fact that both of them had managed to get you hot within the past two minutes.

What the hell are they doing to you?

You watched them intently, the music beginning to slow and the lights growing dim. The spotlight shone on Sam, playing a familiar tune on his piano. Is this greensleeves? Your brow furrowed as you watched him effortlessly play the melody you knew so well. As that came to a close, you watched him fully light and take the first hit from a cigarette, right there on stage. Blowing the smoke from his mouth and watching it dissipate into the light. Oh, he’s surely showing off tonight.

The music swelled again, and the guitar came in. A haunting sound from Jake that nearly made you stop breathing. This must be one of their new songs. The intro lasted a good bit before they jumped into the full song. You checked your notes. You’d forgotten you kept one of the copies of the setlist. Age of Machine…you remembered listening to this the other night. You watched the crowd go crazy over it, especially as Jake began to go into a solo. Completely captured by his playing again, you felt your head swirling as you watched. It was like he slipped into another dimension and dragged you there with him. But in the moment there was no place you’d rather be.

The song began to trail into something else, another familiar sound. Was this...? You reached deep into the depths of your memory, trying to remember the garage days. You knew this… this was the song they played at the Groovebox thing… What was the name of it…?

Then it hit you. You made quick eye contact with Sam, “Is this Thunderstomp?!” You mouthed to him.

He smiled a giant smile, and slowly nodded ��yes’ as he did so. Wow. You hadn’t heard this in so many years, and they decided to add a snippet in for fun. You suddenly felt all the emotions from the night so far building up. The memories coming back full force of watching them practice for hours in the garage...the day Jake asked Sam to come and play the bass for him. Jake had gotten his first real electric guitar, and fell in love with it. He never set it down. Sam always picking on him for how attached he was.

You remembered as a kid, your mom and dad would take you over to the Kiszka house while the parents played cards into the early morning hours. Sam would practice the piano for hours on end while you sat and listened, doing homework and watching movies on mute.

You remembered Sam getting his very own bass guitar for Christmas one year, being surprised and excited, but intimidated nonetheless.

“Dad this is awesome, but I don’t know how to play it.” He’d said.

“Don’t worry. You’ll pick it up one day.” Kelly winked.

You remembered the day Jake busted into the living room, carrying Sam’s untouched bass.

“Hey, come on. We need you to play this.” He said, placing the bass on Sam’s lap.

“Dude I don’t know how. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Go away.” Sam replied.

Jake kneeled down next to him, his face softening to match his voice, “Please, Sambo? Try for me. I’ll show you a few chords. I’ll…I’ll teach you.” Jake begged.

Sam met your eyes, looking for your opinion. All you did was shrug, “Let him teach you. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“You kick ass on the keys, how do you know you won’t kick ass on this too?” Jake pleaded, sending him a warm smile.

You remembered the visual of Sam reluctantly getting up from the couch and dragging himself to the garage, Jake so excited just to have him there. That he was willing to try, just for him.

Two weeks later, he was a natural. He played it like he’d known how for years. His fingers glided across the strings effortlessly and from then on, you couldn’t drag him away from the garage.

The memory flashed away as you now watched them on the stage together, sounding as professional as ever, with thousands of fans screaming for them. They had fun together, dancing around and communicating with their eyes. This was their true passion.

Pride welled up in your chest as you began to cry tears of happiness for them, being so thankful you were there for the beginning of it all, and so sorry you had missed out on the middle.

—

The show ended on a high note, the encore rounding off the first night perfectly. When the guys flooded off stage, they were full of excitement and exhaustion, searching for drinks and towels, rushing backstage as quickly as possible. Ok, back to work.

You followed them out, watching as they celebrated together, suppressing your tears and emotions as best you could. You were so proud.

Everyone was loaded up in the vans, ready to go back to the hotel and clean up from the night. You checked your phone and email one last time, ticking off check marks on your list of post-show tasks. A perfect night, no mishaps whatsoever. You felt so lucky, and truly felt like you had a handle on this job so far. You shot Allison a text letting her know how everything went, and that you were headed back to the hotel for the night.

You sneakily turned your body so your phone was concealed, and opened the photo from Sam again. You felt a wave of nervous excitement flood your system, and you saved the photo to your private album, deleting the one from the text thread. You decided to shoot him a quick text.

You 11:47 pm: Thank you for that. More where it came from?

Keys 11:48 pm: You’re very welcome. Absolutely, lots more ;) Come shower with me?

You pondered for a second, not seeing any harm in it.

You 11:49 pm: I’ll be there.

The vans pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, and everyone began to unload. Everybody was tired, but still a bit keyed up from the excitement of the night. You checked in with the crew, letting everyone know of the meeting time tomorrow morning. With that, you turned your iPad off, and silenced your phone.

You entered the hotel lobby, rustling around in your backpack for your key card and making your way to the elevator.

“Hey!” A familiar voice caught you off guard from down the hall. It was Jake walking toward you. Your heart nearly stopped beating. “You ok? I saw you wiping your eyes getting into the van.”

Oh shit, he’d seen the after effects of your emotional breakdown.

“Hey! Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a little…in my feelings watching you guys.” you trailed off, already having said too much.

“Oh, is that…bad?” He asked, completely misunderstanding your reason for tears.

You gave him a halfhearted smile as you took a deep breath. “Exactly the opposite, actually.” You offered, not wanting to go into any detail at the moment.

“Okay, well…I was gonna get changed and go down to the hotel bar. Do you… wanna join?” He asked motioning behind him. His eyes were full of hope.

Yes. Yes I’ll do whatever you ask of me. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth. Take me wherever you want and do whatever you want with me.

“Ah, that’s okay. You go ahead. Rain check, though?” You answered, going against every ounce of judgment in your brain.

His face fell, defeated. “Yeah, rain check.” He grinned a little, and turned back the way he was heading. You felt like kicking yourself.

“Oh, Jake?” He turned back around, now walking backwards away from you, hands in his pockets. “You guys sounded really great tonight. It was perfect.” You offered, wanting to give him more, go into every little detail about his playing, ask him a million questions, drone on for hours about how much you loved everything about the show…About him.

“Thanks for keeping us in line, darlin’.” And with that, he turned the corner, and was gone. That was the second time he’d used a pet name tonight. First love, now darlin? He made you weak in the knees.

You boarded the elevator with a heavy fog clouding your mind. You replayed the encounter over and over. You felt terrible for turning his invitation down, but you already made plans to go to Sam’s room. You pressed the button for your floor, and suddenly felt overwhelmingly confused.

Should you knock on Jake’s door by accident?

JAKE POV

You should have known she wouldn’t agree to it. Of course she didn’t want to get a drink with you. You purposefully walked to the opposite end of the building to board a different elevator than she had, suddenly feeling stupid for asking her in the first place.

‘Let her come to you’, Josh’s words ringing through your head over and over as the elevator doors opened. You stepped inside, pulling your phone from your pocket just as Sam stepped in beside you.

“You good? You look like someone punched you in the gut.” he jokes.

You smirk, “Mmm, kind of feels that way.” you whisper to yourself.

“Huh?” he questions, not hearing your words.

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just tired. Been a minute since I played like that is all. Hand hurts.” you answer.

“Okay...Well, what floor are you?” he asks.

“Eleven.” you answer stoically.

“Oh, me too!” he says, far too joyfully for your taste.

The elevator dings as you arrive at the eleventh floor, both of you stepping out into the carpeted hallway. You pull your keycard from your wallet as you round the corner.

Sam is not too far behind you, but stopping as he reaches the room next to yours, tapping his key to the lock.

“Night!” he says, nodding his head towards you.

“Later.” you reply, opening your door, and stepping inside.

Kicking off your boots you hobble further into the room, turning on a lamp and depositing your things on the dresser in one fell swoop.

You make your way into the bathroom, turning the shower on, letting the water get hot as you remove your clothes. The shower is quick, rinsing away the remnants of sweat and letting the scalding water relax your tired muscles. You massage the sting in your hand as you close it into a fist. Will this goddamn thing ever heal?

As the bathroom fills with steam you let your mind wander. It was so good to be back on the stage finally playing the songs as they were intended to be heard. The crowd seemed to love it, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Y/N. Did she actually like it? Her smile as you walked off the stage should have been enough of an indication, but the smile was laced with something else. Her eyes were sad. You could tell she had been crying. You were feeling really confident mid set, nailing every note with ease, just like you practiced time and time again.

But the sadness of her demeanor as the show ended had you wondering if maybe you hadn’t done as well as you thought. Maybe she was expecting more? If you were good she would have told you, right? You’d do better tomorrow. You’d show her. All you really want is for her to be proud of you.

You turned the knob on the shower, letting the water trickle from the shower head until it came to a stop. You grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped yourself in the scratchy white fabric. Walking back into the room, you unzipped your suitcase pulling out your sweats and a t-shirt before closing it back up.

You ran your fingers through your wet hair as you spotted the mini bar near the window. Squatting down in front of the offerings you found 4 mini bottles of Jack Daniel’s. Perfect.

Pulling them from the slot, you stood up and grabbed one of the glasses covered with a paper shield, and twisted the lid on the first bottle of Jack. Hesitating, your eyes flashed to the ice bucket. Yeah, I think so.

Ice bucket in hand you made your way to the door, grabbing your room key and twisting the lock. As you open the door to step out, you glance down the hallway in search of the vending machines, but what you see is not the sight you were looking for.

You see Y/N standing in front of Sam’s door, about to walk in. Your eyes meet quickly, as your grip on the ice bucket tightens. This is why she turned you down. For Sam.

Her eyes break from yours, glancing at the ice bucket in your hand and tossing you a sorrowful smile, just as she holds the card to the lock. Her eyes flash back up to yours, and you can still see that same look in them that she had earlier. She is sad. She looks away and steps inside, and as the door shuts behind you, you let out the breath that was caught in your chest at first sight of her.

When will it be my door she walks through? Will it ever be?

—

HER POV

You landed on your floor, and walked to your room to change out of your more professional outfit and into something a little more comfortable. It was a hot day, and changing out of the clothes you’d spent the day sweating in felt nice. You actually were very excited to shower the day off with Sam, and actually enjoy the shower itself.

You grabbed a pair of jeans and tshirt for the morning walk of shame, and changed into a loose tank top and shorts for tonight. You headed back to the elevator, and up to Sam’s room. On the ride up, you texted him to let him know you were coming.

You 12:09pm: Almost there!

Keys 12:10pm: Shower’s hot.

You 12:10pm: Good. So am I…

Keys 12:11pm: Hurry up

The elevator doors opened, and you took off down the hallway toward his room, only to be met with Jake, again, walking back down the hall with an ice bucket in hand. You felt like your skull was full of lightning bolts, thoughts bouncing around in your head of what lie you could tell him to get out of this one.

When his eyes met yours, his posture dropped. You didn’t need to lie. He knew exactly where you were going. Exactly why you turned down drinks. Neither of you said a word, just held eye contact as you walked slowly toward each other and approached your respective doors. You raised the key card to the handle, and it unlocked. You twisted the knob, and gave Jake one last longing look before slipping into Sam’s room.

You dropped your things on the couch, and took a deep and cleansing breath. Jake just had to be in the hallway at that exact moment, didn’t he? Why did you keep lining up like this? You decided to shake the thought free, and suppress the vision of the look on his face when he realized where you were going.

You heard the shower running in the bathroom, so you decided to give Sam a little show. You stripped down to nothing, and quietly opened the bathroom door. The shower glass was fogged up, but you could see the silhouette of his body inside. You pulled the handle on the thin glass of the door, and stepped inside. He wiped his face clean of the residual soap he was washing with, and opened his eyes to meet yours.

“Hey.” You said with a smile.

“Hey yourself.” He immediately pulled you into him, skin to skin, standing under the hot streams of the shower. “You killed it today, you know. You’re really a natural.” He began to lay his mouth on your neck.

“Mmm, I dunno Sam. Everyone pretty much already knows exactly what to do and how to do it. I don’t do much.” You replied, tilting your head back to give him more access.

“I guess…but you keep us on time and in touch. There’s got to be so much you do behind the scenes that no one ever notices.” He went on, turning you around and pulling his fingers through your hair to wet it.

“I suppose so, but enough about me. Let’s talk about how you guys made me cry in front of all my new coworkers tonight.” You joked, but not really.

“Ahh, I thought I saw you get a little emotional over there. Was it the Thunderstomp throwback?” he laughed, continuing to massage your scalp.

“That’s definitely made it worse… I was already just...in awe of you guys. How you sounded. How you performed...it’s unreal Sam. I’m being serious.”

“Well thanks, babe. I’m sorry you cried. I think happy tears are good for you, though.” He replied. You didn’t have the guts to tell them that they weren’t all happy tears.

You finished up washing yourselves, and were left still standing in the shower, taking each other in. You brought your hands up to hold Sam’s face, and placed a genuine kiss to his lips. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around you again. He kissed you back, a bit harder this time. You began fighting each other for dominance through the kiss as it became more heated, and your hands began to search each other’s bodies.

You felt yourself getting insanely turned on as Sam quickly backed you against the wall of the shower, and lifted one of your legs to rest over his hip. He tightened his jaw as he felt himself pressed against you, growing harder with each passing second. “God I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of how you feel...” he said through his clenched teeth. He began to grind against your now spread lips, and the friction was enough to drive you insane. He held you in place while he teased you with his tip, moving it from your clit to your entrance and back again, never fully pressing in.

“Please Sam, I need you.” You pleaded, begging him to fill you.

“Tell me what you need, baby. Talk to me.” He growled.

“Fuck, I need you inside me. Can you?” You looked up at him, giving him the eyes you knew he couldn’t refuse.

“Tell me why I should fuck you, hm? Give me a good reason...” he continued grinding hard against your clit, causing you to begin to see stars.

“Because you did so good tonight...played so perfect…” you whimpered.

He reached and grabbed your tit with his free hand, giving it a rewarding squeeze.

“Yeah? You enjoyed yourself tonight? Liked watching me up there?” He twisted your nipple, eliciting a cry from your throat.

“Yeah Sammy, I did like watching you...playing for all those people. So hot. All those screaming fans wishing they could have you…let you take them back to your room and have your way with them…” you spoke between breaths.

Suddenly he separated from you and released your leg, spinning you around to lean your arms down on the seat in the shower. You bent in half, and looked back toward him. He laid a loud smack across your right ass cheek, spurring you on.

“Keep going...” he ordered.

“But you weren’t going to bring them back to your room, because you knew I would come. And I would fuck you just how you like…right Sammy?” You said, backing yourself against him, teasing him a little now.

He let out a low growl, bringing his hands to your hips and pulling himself toward you. “Mmmmhm… but you did something you shouldn’t have, didn’t you angel?”

“And what is that?” you ask.

“I happened to see a sexy little picture on Jake’s phone… one that I’ve seen before…” he says, continuing to tease you.

“Mmmm… I may have sent it… Are you jealous Sammy?” you ask, pressing yourself back to him.

“No. Should I remind you who has you bent over in the shower with their cock inside you?” he says, pressing just the tip to your opening.

You decided to keep going. “I opened the photo you sent me during the show tonight…you looked so hot Sam...made me wet just looking at it…couldn’t take my eyes off of you all night.” he was teasing your entrance again.

“Fuckkkkk me…” he huffed, letting himself enter you just a little bit.

“Yeah Sam, please. Listen to yourself, falling apart for me, do it.” You stepped your legs apart a little and swayed your hips for him, giving him no choice but to give you what you wanted. Suddenly, you heard the shower turn off.

You turned to face him, a devilish look painting his features.

“Go get on the bed. Don’t dry off.” He spoke sternly smacking your ass, and you had no choice but to do just that.

JAKE POV

You watch as the ice starts to melt in the glass as you pour over the tiny bottle of warm Jack Daniels. Only giving it just enough time to chill before tossing it back and twisting the lid on the next.

You listen as the TV drones on in the background, playing some crime investigation show that you haven’t been paying attention to. How could you after that?

You wish you could silence the thoughts plaguing your mind. Wish you could drown them in the mini bottles of liquor now swirling through your bloodstream. But you can’t.

When the bottles are empty and your mind is fuzzy you retire to the bed, turning off the lamp and lowering the volume on the TV. As you scroll through your phone your eyelids become heavy and start to become harder and harder to hold open.

Thump.

Your eyes shot open. What was that?

Thump.

You sat up in your bed, looking around to find the source of the noise. Fucking hotels. The clock read 1:07 am. You had only been asleep for about 15 minutes. Pushing your hair out of your face you shake your head and lay back down. You grab the remote, turning the TV off, and trying to close your eyes to find the sleep you were disturbed from.

Thump. Thump.

“What the fuck…” you growl, but thats when you hear it. The muffled groan.

Your eyes widen as you realize where the noise is coming from. Fuck me.

Then you hear it again, the stifled whine traveling through the wall from Sam’s room. Wait, are they fighting? A pitchy moan floats through the wall. Oh, they are not fighting…God, I should not be listening to this.

Grabbing the remote you turn the TV back on, hoping the noise will drown out the sex seeping in from next door. Fucking Sam, what an asshole. They could have at least gone to her room.

As you lay there staring at the TV screen you watch as the detectives cover a body with a tarp as you hear the repeated moans echoing through the walls. Shit, kill me too while you’re at it.

Turning the volume up further on the TV you placed a pillow over your head, and tried to go back to sleep. Letting the soft feather pillow rest over your face, you feel yourself starting to slip back into that sleepy state. As your eyes begin to shut you hear the headboard as it slams against the wall yet again. Jesus Christ, when did he get so much stamina?

You grab the pillow and throw it to the other side of the bed in frustration and that's when the final straw is snapped. The fucked out moan you can hear clear as day through the paper thin walls, ‘Sam…’

You grab your phone off of the nightstand, finding his contact and hitting call. It’s no surprise when it rings through to voicemail. Asshole. You sigh as you set the phone down, seeing the black room phone sitting on the stand next to the lamp. Ha...he can’t ignore that.

Flicking on the lamp you pick up the phone, and call in to the front desk. It rings in for a moment before the woman on the other end asks what she can do to help you. “Hey, this is Jake Kiszka in room 1109, could you please connect me to Sam Kiszka in room 1107?” you ask as politely as possible.

“Sure thing, have a great night.” she replies, transferring the call and letting it ring through. You pull the receiver away from your ear as you listen to hear his phone ringing next door. Got ya bitch.

“Hello?” he answers, voice thick with confusion.

“Good evening Samuel. Do you think you could keep it the fuck down over there?” you ask.

He clears his throat, “You can… hear… over there?” he asks nervously.

“Yeah, I can and if I have to hear one more thing, the next scream to leave your mouth will be the last when I come over there and make you the next victim on this late-night murder investigation show I'm watching.” you say, hanging up the phone. That should do it.

Turning the lamp back off you adjust your pillows and roll to your side. The noise stopped after that and you found yourself falling back asleep, but it was not lost on you that the noises you were hearing were also coming from her. Does he make her happy? Does she even remember what it felt like to be with you? You wanted to be the reason she made those noises, not him. Would you ever get to do that again? You forced the thoughts out of your head and let the darkness carry your mind away to a place far, far from here.

NIGHT TWO

HER POV

Your alarm goes off right at 7:00, forcing your eyes open in panic. The room is bright, as the sun shines through from the window. The curtains left open in the haste of the evening.

Turning your head you see Sam, still passed out next to you, clearly unaffected by the sound of the alarm. You smirk as you roll to your side, grabbing your phone and scrolling through your emails, trying to wake up your brain for another insane day of work.

After a few minutes, you take one last look at Sam, sneak out of the bed and gather your clothes from the floor, sliding them back on as you search for your room key. You shut the door quietly behind you, as you make your way to the elevator pressing the call button to take you to your floor.

It dings as the doors open to reveal none other than Josh standing inside, steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand.

“Good morning!” he says cheerily, voice still thick with sleep.

“Hi Josh, looks like I don't need to knock on your door do I?” you laugh, pressing the 4th floor button until it’s illuminated.

“Knock on my door?” he asks, sipping from the steaming cup.

“Oh, yeah I told Sam and Danny I would come knock on their doors when they needed to get up today. Like a wake up call kinda, but I don't need to wake them up for another hour or so. You guys have an interview at the venue this morning.” you answer.

“Oh. We do?” he asks, brow furrowed.

You pulled out your phone and looked at the schedule for today. “Uh, yeah, right here. 11:00, it’s for Premier Guitar. Looks like it’s a Sam and Jake interview.”

“Oh, the guy for Rig Rundown?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's what it says in the notes.” you reply.

“Hmm… no one ever wants to hear about what the singer does…” he says dramatically ending with a wink and a smile.

“You and Danny have one later in the day, drama queen.”

The elevator descends slowly and you watch as the numbers start to count down.

“So if you don't have to wake them up for another hour, where were you coming from?” he asks, with a knowing smirk.

You cut your eyes at him, not wanting to answer his question. “Would you look at that, here's my floor...” you say stepping out into the hallway through the open doors.

“Hey, wait.” he calls, holding the door open with his arm. You turn to look at him, sending him a questioning look.

“Can we… talk later?” he asks.

You swallow nervously as your mind tries to come up with an answer, “About what?”

He tilts his head in response and you know exactly what he wants to talk about. You let a sigh leave your chest as you concede, “Okay... Later.”

He smiles and removes his arm, taking a sip of his coffee and raising his eyebrow as the doors shut in front of him.

Shit.

—

After a long shower and some primping you are feeling good and ready to tackle another day. You check your phone to see that it’s time to go wake up the rest of the guys to make sure they have enough time to get ready and be at the venue on time.

Pressing the button for the elevator you make your way to Danny’s room first, knocking on the door twice and waiting for some type of confirmation that he was awake. After a minute or two you heard the lock twist and the door open, to see a mess of curls and tired eyes.

“Good morning…” he groans. “How long do I have? Is there coffee?” he asks.

“You have about an hour until we need to meet downstairs. Yes there is coffee.” you answer.

He drags his hand over his face and groans as he nods his head. “Thank you. Really. I will see you shortly.” he smiles, and you turn on your heels heading back to the elevator.

Stepping off on floor eleven, you try to decide if you should wake Sam first or Jake first, knowing that both had a very late night, and are not particularly morning people. Picking the lesser of the two evils you head to Sam’s door, tapping the key to the lock and letting it open.

He is almost exactly how you left him, except the blankets have been shoved down to the foot of the bed, the heat of the sun shining in, warming the room. You sit on the edge of the bed, and grab his leg, shaking it gently to try and wake him. “Sammy…” you whisper.

A groan leaves his chest, “Not yet…” he whines, throwing a pillow over his eyes.

“I let you sleep as long as I could…you have to get up or you’re going to be late.” you say softly.

“Ugh… you sound like my mother…” he says.

You stand up and walk to his side of the bed, hovering over top of him as your hands cage in his head. You lean down and press a kiss to the side of his neck, hoping that it would at least get him to open his eyes, and like magic it works.

His dark brown eyes flutter open quickly raking over you as his lips turn into a smile.

“Damn, you look gorgeous, did you do something different to your hair?” he asks, reaching up to run his fingers through the silky smooth locks.

You laugh as you stand up, “I had some time this morning so I gave myself a blowout, why do you like it?” you ask.

“Yeah… you look…hot.” he smiles, sitting up in the bed and grabbing your hand pulling you towards him. “How much time do we have again?” he asks suggestively.

“Not enough…now get up and get in the shower. I’ll see you downstairs in an hour. Please be on time…” you say making your way back to the door.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Next door. I have to wake up your brother.” you answer.

Guilt shoots through him as he remembers the events of the evening, “Probably not so sexy of a wake up call for him though, huh?”

You laugh, “No, probably not Sam. Just you.” you say in a mocking tone, letting the door shut behind you.

You nervously walk the few steps to his door, as the memory of his face last night flashes through your brain. If you had just been 2 minutes earlier he wouldn’t have seen you walking into Sam’s room. You swallow shakily as you lift your hand to knock on the heavy wooden door.

You stand there anxiously, waiting to see if you can hear any sign of life on the other side. When you hear nothing, you decide to knock again, this time being met with the door being thrown open and an irritated Jake on the other side.

His face softens as he realizes it’s you and he swallows back the harsh words that were about to leave his lips.

Your eyes travel up the length of his body as he stands there leaning against the door frame in just his sweats. You cast your eyes to the floor as you try to speak the twenty different thoughts swirling through your brain, “Umm… hey… I just…I woke up the rest of the guys… you have an interview later…just didn’t want you to oversleep. I didn’t mean to bother you…I didn’t even ask you if you wanted a wake up call, did I? You probably didn’t…I’m sorry… I was just next door and I thoug–” you stammered before he stopped you.

“Hey. Relax. It’s fine. Thanks for waking me up. Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed. I’m hungover as fuck, is there coffee downstairs anywhere?” he grumbles, rubbing his face.

You blink blankly at him as your brain searches for any words, “Uhh, yeah. Yes. There is. I can have room service send some up if you want.” you say pulling your phone from your back pocket.

“No, no it’s okay, I can get it. Thank you though. Thanks for waking me. What time do I need to be down there?” he asks.

You check the time on your phone, “Like… 45 minutes.” you answer, biting your lip.

His eyes meet yours, and he smiles softly as he nods his head, “Thank you.” You nod in return, turning to walk back to the elevator, and stepping inside as the doors opened. But as the doors began to close you noticed him still standing in his doorway, watching you leave. Your eyes meeting his and never breaking away until the doors slid shut.

—

Your foot bounces nervously on the lobby floor as you wait for the guys to begin trickling down stairs. You check the time on your phone as texts and emails continue to pour in. Danny is the first to meet you, taking a seat next to you on the small couch.

“I’m not surprised you’re the first one down.” you laugh.

“Yeah, I am usually the one doing the wake up calls, it was nice to be the recipient this time.” he smiles.

A few minutes later you see Sam strolling out of the elevator, fresh from the shower, hair still wet and slicked back, just barely touching the collar of his white shirt.

“My two favorite people!” he says, positioning himself on the chair across from you.

“Ready for your big interview?” you ask.

“Oh, yeah, we have done this with him before, but this time my bass actually has strings.” he laughs. “But, I had an idea and I will need your help…” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

He spends the next ten minutes telling you and Danny about his hairbrained idea involving a tiny table and chairs and a bottle of vodka, both of you erupting in laughter. You shoot a quick text to one of the crew members, trying to coordinate those details for him knowing it will add some comedy to an otherwise monotonous interview.

Summer is the next one down, sitting next to Danny and immediately starting up an overly animated conversation.

The elevator dings and you all turn your heads to see Josh and Jake walking out of the elevator together, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes meet Jakes.

He looks so…good. Dressed in a black button up, sans buttons, a navy blue blazer, and a pair of loose fitting jeans, he looked perfectly disheveled. Mature. Expensive. Much different from the guy you knew a few years ago in ripped jeans and cut off t-shirts. But as he approached you, you could smell him. His cologne leaving a trail behind him as he walked, spicy and warm and positively intoxicating. You swallowed harshly trying to keep your composure as you let the scent fill your nose.

“We ready to go?” Josh asked, looking around at the group.

You stood up from the couch, clutching your iPad, “Yeah, the van was here like twenty minutes ago.” you laugh.

“Some of us needed a little extra sleep this morning. Didn’t sleep well last night. Thin walls, you know?” Jake says, tossing a bitter look to Sam.

Sam’s face turns pale as he stands up and walks towards the door heading for the van. Guilt washes through you as you follow the rest of them out the doors and into the bright sun.

You all pile into the van, and thankfully the drive is short, as Summer has not stopped talking since the doors shut. All of the guys were being far too polite and were too hungover to tell her to stop. You spend most of the ride responding to emails and running over the itinerary for the day and before you know it you are pulling into the back of the venue. As you all step out, the guys linger waiting to be told where they need to be.

“Okay, Jake and Sam, John with Premier Guitar will be here in about 45 minutes to start the interview. Sam I already talked to Mike and he is getting your little table ready. Josh and Daniel, the interviewer from 105.9 will be here at 12:30. After that you’re free to do whatever you need to do. Summer, if you want to just kind of float around and get some photos of the guys, you are good to do your own thing. Any questions?” you ask.

They all nod their heads and break off towards the green room as you and Summer walk towards the stage to check on the progress.

“Was your room okay last night?” you ask, trying to make small talk.

She holds her camera up to her eye, checking her settings as she turns to you, “Yeah, it was really nice. How about yours?”

“Oh, yeah, the rooms are great. Hoping to get better sleep tonight though. Looking forward to another jam-packed day, first.” you laugh.

Looking over her shoulder she checks her surroundings, “Okay was it just me or was Jake looking extra good this morning? Did you smell him? Ugh, I hope he never buttons his shirts ever again.” she giggles.

You laugh, “He looked pretty hungover to me…”

“But you have to admit he's hot though…” she says, holding the camera up to her eye, snapping the capture button.

“Our boss? Jake?” you say, condescendingly.

“Ugh… objectively then. Just as a man.” she says.

“Yes, objectively as a man he is attractive, but he’s still our boss and has the ability to fire us for any reason he sees fit. I think it would be smart to keep that in mind, you know?” you quip.

“Yeah, yeah… I hear you.” she smiles, before scurrying off to the soundbooth.

You shake your head as you climb the stairs to the stage, looking to make sure the table and chairs are set in the back for Sam. When you see the tiny table and the drinks you laugh, ready to see how his little vision will play out later.

Walking back down the steps you thank the crew for assisting with the last minute addition before making your way to the green room. You check the time on your phone, seeing that the interviewer will be here any minute. Jake and Sam were lounging on the couch, nursing their hangovers with none other than more alcohol.

You shake your head as you address them, “Are you two ready?”

Sam stands up and slides his black loafers back on, as he tries to crack his knuckles, “Yeah I’m ready if he is.” he says motioning to Jake, who is sipping from his paper cup, sunglasses sitting low on his nose.

“Alright alright…Yes, I’m ready.” he says, pushing his sunglasses up and tossing back the rest of his drink. He stands to meet Sam and fixes his blazer and shirt, making himself look less hungover and more presentable.

A knock at the door has your head snapping to meet it, as you reach for the handle. You’re met with the sight of an older man, who you’re assuming was here to interview them, with a bag full of mics and a camera team.

“Hey, I’m John with Premier Guitar. You guys ready!?” he asks excitedly.

Suddenly Jake steps forward, his entire demeanor changing as he becomes a more polished and clean version of himself, shaking hands with the man like they were old friends. Jake led him and his crew out to the stage, as you and Sam followed closely behind.

“Geeze, that was weird, he just…turned on.” you say to Sam.

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, he does that… Mr. Popularity… I tell ya…” he says. “Alright, see you in a bit.” he says, squeezing your hand before climbing up the stairs to the stage.

You watch from the side stage, as Jake talks intently about his passion, explaining the ins and outs of his set up, the ideas he came up with for the sound and the way he intends things to be heard. It’s incredibly addicting watching him speak so passionately about what he loves. You have a hard time tearing your eyes away from him as you watch him demonstrate the different pedals and effects, pouring his soul into every note.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed as you watched, but when a gentle hand made its way to your shoulder you were snapped from your moment of weakness.

“Oh, hi.” you say, turning to see Josh.

“Having fun?” he asks with a knowing tone.

“Just… making sure everything is running smoothly.” you answer.

“Right, right. That's all, hmm?” he asks with a wink.

You shake your head, “What’s up?”

“Come walk with me, wanna talk to you.” he says, gesturing to follow him.

“Right now? They are right in the middl–” you start.

“Exactly, let’s go.” he says, raising his eyebrows.

With a huff, you follow after him, meeting his stride as you head back towards the dressing rooms.

He steps inside, shutting the door behind you and taking a seat on the couch. You place your iPad on the table and sit down across from him.

“Okay, what’s up, are you firing me?” you laugh.

He laughs his genuine laugh, “No, of course not. You’re doing spectacular. No, I want to talk about… something else.”

You feel your palms start to sweat, and suddenly you know what he wants to talk about.

“Okay…” you reply nervously.

“How long are you two going to do this?” he asks.

“Do what?” you ask.

He tilts his head, “Come on Y/N, you know what. The back and forth, the subtle glances, the longing for each other from across the room…”

You let out a sigh,“I don’t think it’s like that between us anymore…I don’t think he feels… the same way anymore.” you offer.

A scoff leaves his chest, “Open your eyes Y/N. That man is deeply, deeply in love with you. Has been since he was sixteen years old. I think it’s safe to say he feels the same way as he always has.”

“He just broke up with Sophia, and… I don’t know, I thought maybe we would talk after all of that happened, but… we haven’t and… I’m just… waiting. I don’t know what for…I guess I just don’t want to mess things up. Tour just started. I don’t know Josh, everything is a mess. And really, truly he hasn’t really given me any indication that he wants to talk. Although… I guess he did ask to get drinks last night…”

“And… did you?” he asks, shocked.

“No.” you say looking at the floor.

“What? Why not?” he asks.

“Well… I had already made plans with Sam.” you reply.

He drags his hand across his face, “Shit Y/N…”

“Do you love him?” he asks.

“Who Sam!?” you ask, looking at him like he's crazy.

“No, Jake.” he replies.

You pause for a moment, your eyes searching his as you answer, “Of course I do, Josh. I never stopped.”

“So what are you waiting for? Go to him!” he urges.

“I can’t! It’s not that simple!” you say, raising your voice.

“It is! Cut things off with Sam and go talk to Jake! He needs you, and you’re torturing him. He is waiting for you!” he begs.

“He’s waiting for me? I’ve been waiting for him.” you breathe, almost a whisper.

“Yeah. He is. And in the meantime it’s killing him to watch you with Sam.” he says.

“He saw me…last night. I turned him down in the lobby. I really wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t just ditch Sam. He’s been there for me a lot lately, he means a lot to me, you know? Anyways, I felt terrible. Awful actually. But I went to Sam’s room, and as I was unlocking the door, Jake coming out of his room at the exact moment. He knew I turned him down for Sam. I wanted to disintegrate.” you say.

“I know. He texted me about it…Drank half of the mini bar because of it. Like I said, you’re torturing him.” he quipped. “You two need to talk. Seriously.”

“I know. I’m just scared Josh.” you admit.

“Don’t be scared, all he wants to do is love you.” he says.

“I’m not the same person I used to be. What if he doesn’t like who I am now?” you ask.

“He has loved every version of you he’s ever met, Y/N.” he offers.

You nod your head as you try to blink away the tears forming in your eyes.

“You are the only thing he has ever wanted, apart from this.” he says motioning around him. “Now he has it, but what is all of this without you? This will never be enough for him. He needs you.”

A single tear streaks down your face, as your walkie talkie beeps on your shoulder. ‘Y/N can you meet us at the soundbooth?’

“I have to go.” you say standing up and wiping away the tear.

“Okay, please, just think about what I said. Just talk to him.” he begs.

You swallow back the lump in your throat, “I will. Promise.” and with that you’re out the door.

As you hear it slam behind you, a shaky breath releases from your chest, just as Sam and Jake come barreling down the hallway. You do your best to put on a happy face as you see them, but you can see Jake’s smile drop as he meets your gaze.

Sam tries to stop you but you push past, “I have to go to the soundbooth but I’ll be right back okay?” Sam tosses you a concerned look but you ignore it, knowing if you turned around you would break down completely.

—

With only five minutes until the show began, you started to run through your final checklist, making sure everyone was dressed and ready, and had everything they needed. Again tonight you got to stand by and watch their pre show ritual, your heart instantly flooded with pride, just the same as last night.

You stand by the door as they file out one by one, checking to make sure their outfits are perfect. Josh first, then Danny, followed by Sam.

“Spin, let me see you.” you say, causing Sam to twirl in a circle with his topo chico in hand.

“Oh, let me fix your pants.” you say squatting down to smooth out the baby blue fabric on his leg.

“There. Off you go.” you say, swatting his butt with the iPad in your hand.

Finally, Jake walks out of the door, and as you check his outfit you see his collar flipped up again. “Hey, wait...” you say, the crowd roaring in the distance.

He turns to face you, swallowing as his eyes meet yours. “Your collar…again.” you smile, focusing on the fabric, folding it into place, letting your hand slide down his lapel ever so slightly. He turns and repositions his jacket, throwing his hair over his shoulders before turning back to you “Am I good?” he asks innocently, eyes searching yours.

Your eyes flick back up to meet his, “You’re perfect.” you breathe.

You watch as the sides of his lips turn upwards, as he tries to stifle back a smile.

He turns to catch up with the guys, looking over his shoulder at you once more before climbing the stairs to the stage.

You toss your head back onto the wall and sigh, continuing to think about what Josh said earlier. He was right, you really didn’t know what you were waiting for.

You would talk to him. Tonight.

—

Somehow the show tonight was even better than the night before. While you’re sure it had something to do with the show being recorded tonight, part of you wants to believe they will just get better and better with every show under their belt. Josh’s vocals were incredible, nailing each note with perfect precision, and making it look easy.

Your eyes were once again drawn to Jake as he played through the set putting every ounce of effort he had into the performance. He lived for this, and it was very apparent in the passion he poured into each show. Every so often you would peel your eyes away from his hands working the strings, and focus on Sam, vying for the attention of the girls on the barricade screaming his name. You shook your head and smiled at the looks he would give them. He is such a flirt.

When the guys rushed off stage before the encore, it was a flurry of hands, towels and water flying past your face as they all ran to the bathrooms. Quickly they returned one by one, preparing for the last 20 minutes of the show.

Pulling his jacket back over his arms, you watched the sweat continue to pour down Jake's stomach meeting the top of his pants. As you watched it drip you caught yourself, forcing your eyes back up to his face, only to be caught in the act.

A sly smile crossed his lips as he repositioned his guitar over his body, raising his eyebrows at you quickly before striding back onto the stage.

Shit. What was that?

The rest of the show was magnetic and you positively could not pull your eyes away from Josh as he gave the crowd everything he had. As the last notes rang through the venue you stood to the side, watching the guys rush past you one by one with haste as they made their way back to the green room.

You left the crew to do their thing and begin breaking down the set, as you start to run through the inventory checklist backstage, checking off each item as it was placed into its case. As you make your way towards the dressing rooms, you instruct the crew to hang their white coveralls in the travel case to be dry cleaned. Stepping into the main green room you see everyone standing around enjoying a much deserved drink, talking and laughing over the success of the show.

“Hey guys, you sounded amazing tonight! The van should be here in about 15 minutes to take you back to the hotel, so if you will just hang your suits in the case outside the door, I will send them off to be dry cleaned.”

They all nod in agreement, turning back to their conversations. Sam walks over to you, throwing his arm over your shoulder planting a kiss on your cheek. “You did it! Your first shows are done and dusted.” he smiles.

You wrap your arm around his waist, and laugh, “Well, I still have to make sure the rest of the crew gets the stage and everything packed up before I am done, but you guys are free to go when the van gets here. No need to wait on me.” you smile.

“Nonsense. We’re staying, right guys?” he asks, pulling you closer into his side.

“Yeah, we don’t have anywhere to be, as long as there is alcohol we are set.” Josh answers with a laugh.

“Okay, it shouldn't be too long I don’t think…” you say, releasing yourself from Sam's grip. “I’ll go check and see what the progress looks like and report back.”

You excuse yourself from the room, mind a blur as the image of Jake’s still sweaty body sat lounging on the leather couch. Shit, will I ever get used to that?

Returning to the stage you see that the crew is practically finished, just loading the pieces into the semi. You talk with the crew, releasing them for the night once they are finished, and telling them you would send them the schedule for tomorrow as soon as you could.

About twenty minutes later you are walking back into the green room to see that everyone had changed into their normal clothes, hanging their suits just like you asked. As you took a survey of the room you saw Sam and Danny chatting in the corner, Josh looking at his phone and Jake talking intently to Summer, who was practically perched in his lap as she spoke to him.

Your brow furrowed as you watched them, deeply engrossed in what each other was saying. You couldn’t fully hear their conversation, but you could see the pink in Jake’s cheeks as he laughed and smiled at her words. You could see the twinkle in her eyes as she continued to flirt with him, starting a fire in your chest. Maybe he does like her…

You turn your attention to Josh, “You ready to get out of here?” you ask.

He turns his head to look at Jake and Summer before answering you. “Yeah, probably should. Give any thought to what I said earlier?”

“Yeah, I did… I thought maybe I would talk to him tonight but now I don't know… He seems a little… preoccupied.” you respond.

“Ahh…He’s just being nice, don’t worry about her. He only has eyes for you.” he smiles as he stands up. “Alright boys, let's go!” he says, getting the attention of the other guys.

You make your way over to Sam, letting him pull you into his lap wrapping his arms around your waist as you laugh. You see Jake's eyes flash over to yours, connecting briefly as Sam whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he continues his conversation with Danny. Jake’s face drops, the sudden rosy quality of his face draining away to a pale shade that made you feel sick.

You didn’t want Summer to see the interaction between you and Sam so you quickly stood up, and made your way over to the door, opening it for everyone as they started to gather their things. Summer was the first out, camera bag in hand and completely oblivious to your moment with Sam. Jake followed after her, stopping to let Danny and Josh walk out before him.

As they filed out you shut the door behind yourself, wondering if Josh was actually right about Jake. Was he really still in love with you? He looked awfully cozy with Summer…

No. No more excuses. You were going to talk to him. You didn’t know how, but you knew you had to.

JAKE POV

Walking to catch up with Josh you leaned closer to whisper into his ear, “Did you see that shit Sam pulled? Why does he do that right in front of me? Does he think this is some kind of game?” you asked.

“Ahh… he probably saw how comfortable you looked with Summer and thought you wouldn’t mind.” he answers, raising his eyebrow.

“She came to talk to me… what was I supposed to do?” you ask.

“She did not come to talk to you Jacob. She was flirting with you. Even Y/N noticed.” he says.

What?

“She did?” you asked, rubbing your jaw nervously.

“Yeah…Hey listen I talked to her today…” he starts just as you arrive at the van.

“And… what? What did she say?” you beg, turning him to face you.

The van driver begins to talk to him and he gets distracted from your conversation, “Josh. What did she say?” you demand.

He looks around, not making eye contact with you, “Now isn’t a good time. I will tell you later. Promise.” he says, stepping into the van.

Fucker.

You climb in after him, pulling your phone from your pocket to distract yourself from the sight of her and Sam sitting in front of you. Summer climbs in taking the seat next to you and smiling at you as she settles her camera bag onto her lap. As the van begins to drive away she pulls her camera from its case and starts to flip through the photos from the night. You peer over her shoulder as you see shot after shot of yourself playing.

Damn, those are kinda good…

Every few photos she would pat your thigh to get your attention, sending a shiver up your spine as she would show you a particularly good shot. Much of the van ride was silent, apart from the few ‘ooo’s’ that would leave her mouth as she looked through her shots.

As the van pulled up outside the hotel you all filed out, you and Josh being the last ones out. Summer walked ahead as you stayed back to try and get Josh to finish what he was trying to tell you earlier.

“Okay, tell me. What did you two talk about.” you ask.

He sighs as he answers, “Well… you.”

You look ahead to find her, and see her walking into the elevator. “Yeah, and…” you urge.

The doors shut, leaving the two of you waiting for the next elevator.

“I think it would be better if you heard it from her. She wants to talk, Jake. She told me.” he says.

The doors open to the elevator, and the both of you walk in, pressing the buttons for your respective floors, as the doors shut once again.

“Okay but when?” you ask desperately.

“I don't know Jake, but I think it will be soon.” he says, as the doors open on his floor. “Just be patient. Call me if you need me.” he says, stepping out and walking away.

God damnit. You were done being patient. Should you go to her? Should you wait for her to come to you?

Tapping your key card to your door you step inside and throw yourself onto the bed with a sigh. Fucking hell what an exhausting day.

As you lay there running your hands over your face you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Removing a hand from your face you reach into the pocket and retrieve your phone.

Summer 11:48pm : Some of us are going to the bar downstairs, wanna come?

You practically drained the mini bar last night, why not? Maybe Y/N will be there.

You 11:50pm: Sure, be there shortly.

Summer 11:51pm: :)

After a few minutes freshening up in the bathroom you make your way back down to the lobby and over into the bar. You see Danny and Summer sitting at the bar chatting and walk over to join them.

“Hey man, didn’t think you were gonna make it.” Danny says facetiously.

“Ahh Daniel… You know I can’t turn down a good stiff drink after a long show.” you laugh.

You take a seat next to Summer, and order a Glenlivet on the rocks, sipping the spicy liquid from the rim of the glass.

After a little rundown of the show the conversation quickly turns into Danny telling Summer every embarrassing story about you that he can come up with. Summer is full of laughter, patting your knee and smiling as she listens intently to Danny’s stories.

You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or exhaustion but, the more you got to talk to her and get to know her, you were starting to enjoy her company. She is kind of pretty…she has a great smile.

You found yourself listening closer as she spoke, and genuinely laughing at her jokes. After two more scotch’s Daniel retired to bed, leaving you and Summer at the bar, still sipping away as the conversation flowed.

As she grabbed her glass from the bar top, the condensation pooling under her fingers causing her glass to slip, spilling the mojito all over herself.

“Shit!” she exclaimed, grabbing the tiny cocktail napkins from the counter and pressing them to her now soaked shirt.

“Here let me grab you some more napkins.” you say reaching over the bartop.

“Actually, want me to run up and grab you a dry shirt? I have a few spares.” you offer.

Her eyes flash over to yours, “Are you sure you don't mind?”

“No, not at all.” you say, standing a little too quickly, causing your head to spin.

“Actually, do you mind if I come with you? I’d love to be able to wash this off a little bit.” she asks.

“Uh, sure, no problem.” you say, leading the way.

She follows you into the elevator, her wet shirt clinging to her body, and you find that you’re having a hard time peeling your eyes away from her chest.

You swallow heavily as the doors open, and you let her walk out in front of you, telling her the room number as you make your way to the door. You tap your card to the lock, letting it open and guiding her inside.

“Bathroom is right there, use anything you need.” you offer, walking over to your suitcase looking for a shirt.

Finding the one you were looking for you turn around to see her stepping back out of the bathroom, but the wet shirt is gone, and she’s approaching you in just her bra.

Fuck…

You quickly turn around, trying to give her privacy, only to be met with a giggle from across the room.

“You don’t have to turn around Jake…I’m not shy…” she says.

“Just trying to give you some privacy.” you stammer.

“It’s just a bra, it’s not like I’m naked…” she laughs. “It’s okay, really. You can turn around. I know you want to…”

You press your lips together, biting them between your teeth as you turn to face her. She’s right. You do want to turn around. You hand her the t-shirt and like magnets, your eyes are drawn to her chest and the curve of her breasts spilling over her black bra.

She watches you as you take her in, finding your mind wandering to a place you least expected it to. She slides the shirt over her head, never breaking eye contact with you as you step closer to her.

“Well, how does it look?” she asks, stepping closer to you.

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as you slide your hands around her waist.

Her hands come to rest at the opening of your shirt, sliding up your chest and behind your neck.

“A perfect fit, I’d say. But I almost liked it better, off. ” you say, voice thick with lust.

She reaches down, grabbing the hem of the shirt, tossing it onto the bed behind you leaving her in just her bra in front of you.

Your thumbs circle the smooth skin of her stomach as she repositions herself in front of you, pulling your face closer to hers.

“Better?” she whispered against your lips.

“Yeah, I think so.” you answer confidently, pressing your lips to hers, tasting the mint from her mojitos on her lips. You pull away quickly, testing the waters before kissing her again, this time a little harder.

The kiss becomes more furious, your tongue tangling with hers as her hands wind into your hair. She steps backwards pulling you towards the bed, as you trail sloppy kisses down her neck and chest, pushing her towards the bed.

“Did you like the pictures I took of you tonight, Jake?” she asked, voice thick with lust.

“Mmmmhm…” you groaned, as she fell beneath you.

She falls backwards as you kneel over her, trailing kisses over the curve of her breasts.

“You looked so good. So sexy. I couldn’t stop…” she breathes.

She grabs your hand to place it over the cup of her bra, guiding you to grab at her curvy flesh. You return your mouth to hers, deepening the kiss, as your fingers slide the strap of her bra down her shoulder.

“Do you want to fuck me Jake?” she asks in a breathy tone.

Just as you go to answer her you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket again and you pull away from her and kneel on the bed, quickly looking to see who it was.

Shit.

You look back to Summer, waiting for you to return your lips to hers, and answer her question. Right then you felt a pang in your chest. What are you doing? You are making a huge mistake. You stand up from the bed, adjusting your pants as you open the message.

LD 12:03am : Hey, are you still up? Can we talk?

Your heart sinks into your stomach as you read it. No…Fuck. What shit timing.

Your eyes flick back to Summer. She has to leave, right now.

Leaning away from her, you push yourself up off of the bed, fixing your shirt and wiping your lips.

“I’m sorry, we can’t do this.” you say stepping back and pacing across the room.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“We work together, we can’t hook up. We shouldn’t have done this.” you answer.

“What’s the big deal Jake? It doesn’t have to turn into anything. No one has to know. Can be our little secret.” she smirks.

“No. It can’t. You’re here to do your job, and I am here to do mine. If you’re not capable of that, I will find someone else to do it.” you say sternly.

She sits up, pulling the t-shirt over her head, covering herself back up as she stands up from the bed. “Damn I guess Y/N was right…did you turn her down too?” she asks sarcastically.

“What?” you ask.

“Y/N told me not to bother with you, that you only cared about work. I thought she was just trying to scare me off… Guess she was right afterall. What a shame…” she says, grabbing her purse from the chair.

She does care…

“Summer, you are a beautiful girl but this just can’t happen between us. I really am sorry, okay? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, I just think we need to keep things professional for the sake of the tour.” you say, trying your best to calm the fire.

“Sure Jake…whatever you say… I’ll see you in the morning.” she says, shutting the door behind her.

Oh my god, what a nightmare.

How could you be so stupid? Worst of all you weren’t even enjoying it.

You open the message reading it again. ‘Can we talk?’ Your mind was reeling. You were in no shape to try and talk to her, even though that’s all you wanted to do. The scotch was still working its way through your system, and you knew she deserved more than your half drunk confession.

You needed to text her back. At least tell her you wanted to, just not tonight. You walked over to the mini bar, pulling out the only remaining bottles. Tequila.

You walked over to the door, flipping the lock and kicking off your shoes. You stripped down to your boxers and made your way into the bed, mini bottles in tow. You twisted the lid on the first tossing it down as you reopened the text. What should you say?

Typing in the message you hover over the send button, but quickly delete the thought. No. That’s not right.

You shoot down the next bottle and place it on the nightstand, turning off the lamp. You settle down into the pillows and push your hair from your face. Okay. Let’s try again.

The screen was starting to become blurry as the tequila entered your bloodstream. You were having a hard time focusing and you could feel the sleep creeping into your body. Your eyes began to close as your thumb hovered over the button.

Just send the message Jake.

Just hit send.

—

HER POV

The next morning, everyone began piling into the vans to head back home bright and early. Light chatter filled the cabin, everyone still feeling the effects of the long few days. Exhausted, you begin looking around to do another head count. It was starting to feel like you were a preschool teacher counting your students every 5 minutes.

Most of the crew was accounted for…but of course, only ¾ of the actual band members. “Where is Jake?” You asked, walking over to them standing by the door of the van.

“He’ll be here, you know how he is.” Josh said, not looking up from his phone. You glanced at the time, with a sigh.

“We don’t have time for that, we’re leaving in 15 minutes. I have to get the crew home, they have other places to be.” You spat, aggravated. You stood for another minute or two, and decided to take matters into your own hands.

“Fine. I will go get him myself.” you said, making your way back inside. Luckily, you hadn’t turned in the keycards to the front desk.

You make the trek up to his room, suddenly feeling anxious again as you approach the door. ‘Just use a key next time so I don’t have to get out of bed’ running through your mind.

Well, I need him to get out of bed. You pressed the key to the lock, hearing it release. You closed your eyes, and took a breath. You put just your face inside the door, trying not to look around.

“Jake? Hey… We gotta go, it’s time.” You said softly.

Silence.

You peeked inside a little more, seeing his hair splayed out on the bed. Still asleep, of course.

You decided to walk in a little further, closing the door softly behind you. He had his back to the door, laying on his side. His body was wrapped around two or three pillows and he was in nothing but his black boxers. Your chest tightened at the sight. It felt strange seeing him this way, asleep and completely vulnerable.

“Jake…” You tried again. Dead asleep.

You walked around the other side of the bed, still feeling like you were intruding, but also taking in the sight of him. You had always loved watching him sleep, his features even more relaxed than they usually were. His eyelids jumping back and forth while he dreamed, his lips parted slightly as he breathed. You wondered what he was dreaming about, secretly wishing it was you.

You would admit that you were upset that he didn’t text you back last night, but it was late, and he had to have been completely drained. But still you held out hope.

You came around to face his front, seeing that he still had his phone in his hand. He fell asleep reading my text? Maybe he had seen it? As you grabbed it from his hand you placed it on the nightstand, but it was then that you really took in the state of his room. Clothes everywhere, and tons of empty bottles lying scattered across the bedside table and floor. As realization hit you, your mood shifted leaving you angry and confused. What is wrong with him?

“JACOB!” You yelled, finally feeling bold enough to shake him physically on the arm. “Wake up! We’ve got to go!”

His eyes finally began to open as he woke up. When he saw that it was you waking him up, the smallest smile formed on his face, melting you into a puddle.

He finally opened his eyes all the way, and stretched his muscles, straightening his legs down the length of the bed revealing more of him than you ever thought you’d see this morning.

“Mmm” he groaned, his face stretching into a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m sorry to wake you, but we’re running really late. I need you to get downstairs and loaded up.” you say.

His eyes widen, and he searches for his phone. “Shit, I’m sorry. I must’ve slept through my alarm.” He said, rolling off the other side of the bed and walking into the bathroom.

“You probably didn’t even set one, seeing as how you killed the mini bar again last night, hmm?” You said with bitterness in your voice.

He breathed a sigh of agitation, with himself or with you, you weren’t sure.

You gave him a second of privacy in the bathroom, and he stumbled back out into the room, holding his head.

“Hungover?” You asked, already knowing the answer. You could spot hungover Jake a mile away. Definitely.

“A little I suppose.” He spoke quietly, suddenly looking defeated.

“Jake, I know everything’s...not really…okay right now. You just went through a bad breakup and...nothing’s ideal but, you seem off, and it’s only the start of the tour. I don’t want to interject, but I...I really don’t like seeing you like this. We all need you to take care of yourself, you know? This thing doesn’t work without you.” You said, speaking in white lies, but needing something to get him to talk a little. After all, you didn’t get to last night.

He scoffed, picking up various items and throwing them in his suitcase while you stood watching. “Look, I had every intention of talking to you last night. But by the time you texted, I had already drank way too much…I was halfway asleep, and I…I don’t know. It felt...” he trailed off.

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for the rest.

He conceded, “I don’t really know it just felt like the wrong time. I was…” he stalled.

“Just one word, Jake. That’s all I need.” You spoke quietly.

He hesitated hard, until he finally spoke, “Scared, I guess? Nervous?”

You were lost for words. Why was he scared to talk to me? Had we really fallen that far away from each other?

Your eyes met his for a second and your heartbeat began to race. “I don’t know. We can…talk about it later? Can you…can you just help me throw some of this shit in my bag so we can get out of here?” He asked, still rushing around in slow motion.

You snapped away from your thoughts. “Yeah, sure.”

You began picking up various clothing items from the floor, and as you made your way around the bed, you spotted something that looked out of place. Is that? You picked up a woman’s shirt from the floor, holding it up to inspect it. Your gut sank. This is what Summer was wearing last night.

“This yours?” You asked, dangling the shirt from your finger.

He turned around to see you holding it up, and he immediately let his head fall back as he sighed. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.” You tossed the shirt onto the bed, and felt your head become fuzzy with rage. Was anything he just said true? “I guess I see why you were scared to come and talk to me last night.”

He slowly walks over to you, “No…Y/N, I swear it’s not what it-”

“It’s not what it looks like?” you say cutting him off. “Seeing your photographer’s shirt on your floor? I think it’s exactly what it looks like, Jake.” You were spitting fire towards him. You decided you needed to get out of that room as quickly as you could.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your night.” You said with your back turned to him. “We’re leaving here in five minutes, with or without you.” and with that, you slammed the door shut behind you.

JAKE POV

Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Oh fuck, what did I do? Do I go after her? Do I let her go? What the fuck was I thinking?

You quickly shove everything into your suitcase, cursing yourself with every movement. God damnit I have fucked up.

Looking around the room to make sure you had everything you really took in the mess. The entire trash can was filled with mini bottles and they were scattered across every open surface. Shit. Maybe she was right. I do need to get my life together.

You won her heart once, you knew you could do it again, and that's exactly what you were going to do. You had to.

Quickly pulling on whatever clean clothes you could find you zipped your suitcase and were rushing out the door, and downstairs to the van.

As you made your way to the door, Josh threw it open and jumped out, helping you load your suitcase into the back.

“The fuck man?” he asks.

“Didn’t set an alarm. My mistake.” you answer.

“Well, all the good seats are taken, so you’re in the back with me now.” he says, closing the back door.

You slide into the van, eyes searching for Y/N, and finding her next to Sam in the middle row. She doesn’t look at you, or even acknowledge your presence, but you deserve it. You can’t even imagine what she’s thinking. As you settle into your seat you close your eyes trying to process the events of the morning. How it felt waking up to see her face. How normal it felt to have her there. How everything quickly shattered as she realized how messed up you were. How it got even worse when she found Summer’s shirt.

You wished you could go back. You wished you never went to the bar last night. If you had just waited, this morning could have been completely different…

“Hey Jake?” you hear the sound of Summer’s voice echo through the van. You were so lost in your head you didn’t even notice she was up front. Your heart sinks as you wait to hear what she has to say.

You flick your eyes up to meet hers, raising your eyebrow.

“Thanks for letting me borrow this last night.” she says, pulling the folded shirt from her bag. You practically stop breathing as you watch her hand it to Y/N. “Can you pass this back there?” she asks her.

She hesitates as she grabs the shirt, turning back to you in what felt like slow motion.

Your eyes met hers, pleading with her as she spoke, “From Summer.”

Your arms don't even move to grab it as you stare at her. The thoughts in your brain are moving a mile a minute and you can't seem to catch even one.

Josh grabs the shirt for you, throwing it into your lap. “Thanks.” he says, as Y/N turns back around, leaning her head on the van window.

Could things get any fucking worse? Why the fuck did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she just give it to me later?

God. Y/N…Her face…she probably thinks we–

Fuck, I have to text her.

You quickly pull your phone from your pocket, bringing up her name, and opening the thread. Shock pulsing through your body as you look at the message you typed out last night, as it waited to be sent.

I never hit send. Oh she fucking hates me… I will never be able to explain this to her now.

You look up into the rearview mirror hoping to catch her eyes, but all you see is her staring blankly out of the window. You can tell she is in her head.

You 8:27am: It looks bad. I know it looks so bad. I can explain everything. All of it. Can we please talk when we get back?

You look back up watching her in the mirror as she glances down at her phone reading the message. You see the little crease in her eyebrows as she reads. The pain setting into her features. She sets her phone down and turns back to the window.

Fuck.

You: 8:28am: Please don’t shut me out again.

Your phone buzzes in your lap and you eagerly grab it hoping to see her name, but it's not her. It’s Josh.

Josh 8:29am: What the fuck did you do Jake?

You turned to look at him shaking your head as you replied.

You 8:30am: Made the biggest mistake of my life.

Josh 8:30am: Did you fuck her?

You 8:31am: Fuck no. Of course not. It just looks like it. Y/N wont answer me. I don’t know what to do.

Josh 8:32am: For once I don’t know what to tell you.

You 8:32am: Do you think I blew it?

You watch him type, before quickly deleting it. He locks his phone and places it on his knee, sending you a sympathetic look. You knew what he was going to say. You could practically hear it in your own head.

You reopen your thread with her, looking at your messages, marked as read. At least she is reading them. Taking a moment you collect your thoughts the best you can, giving it one last shot.

You 8:40am: I get it. I wouldn’t answer me either. But I want you to know that I fell asleep last night alone, thinking about you. Trying to text you back. I typed it over and over, but I couldn't get it right. I swear I’ve fallen asleep thinking about you every single night for the past 4 years, Y/N. Please, just give me a chance to explain.

You hit send delivering the message, and watching her in the rearview to see if she would read it. Lifting her head from the window you watch as her eyes look down, reading the message. You see her expression drop yet again, and her hand come up to her face trying to discreetly wipe away the tear slipping from her lash line. But you saw it. Even worse, you caused it.

You’re sure you felt your heart crack wide open at the sight. It was a pain you’d felt before. Similar to the day she left. A pain you swore you’d never let yourself feel again. But here you were, watching her in the rearview, begging for a chance to be hurt again. You’d rather be hurt by her, than not at all.

You could feel your own eyes welling with tears, and just as you were about to look away, her eyes met yours, bloodshot and full of tears. It was as if your world had momentarily stopped turning. You both sat there, eyes locked on each other, with not a word uttered between the two of you. Pure silence. The deafening kind.

You didn’t have to say anything. You both knew how this ended.

Chapter 11

Taglist:

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@eyelinerjake @misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123

232 notes · View notes

sisterofficerlucychen · 1 year

Text

It’s been a long day, perhaps more so than usual. A domestic disturbance turning into an abduction that had half the city looking for a toddler and their twelve hour shift turned into mandatory overtime, finally ending twenty hours later. By some miracle, nothing ended in tragedy and an after searching what seemed like every corner of Southern Los Angeles, they were finally able to make it back home.

Home.

Not her apartment but his house. A fact that Lucy still is trying to wrap her head around, how his home has become hers too. How she spends just as much time at his house as she does at her apartment. Not just her but Tamara too. Often spending her day with Kojo when the couple is at work or joining them for dinner. Something that warms her heart, knowing how he’d originally referred to her as her ‘puppy’ and along the way, took her under his wing and became family of his own.

Tim’s breathing is soft against her ear, his light snoring causes her to suppress a small chuckle to not wake him. Instead, she makes note to tease him about it later but for now, she lets him rest. Carefully patting the area around them, she searches for the remote that was discarded around them once he finally gave in and agreed to re-watch an episode of Hot Suspect.

Of course, he’d fall asleep to it. There’s a small snicker that falls out her lips knowing she should have seen it coming. Not only was he exhausted from the chaos the day had unraveled into but this wasn’t something to keep his attention. After all, the first time she made him watch it with her, the one hour episode turned into two hours as she had to kept playing pause in order to answer his questions and they kept getting into playful arguments over Tim stating how inaccurate it was and Lucy reminding him it was a fictional show.

Yet, despite this he’s never not agreed to humor her by watching it with her. Biting his tongue to stop the snarky comments and almost getting into it with the newest episodes. She appreciates the effort and makes a mental note to surprise him with something she knows he’d want to do.

Paint ball, Dodgers game, a Doctor Who marathon, an old Hollywood movie nig—Lucy’s in the middle of thinking of different ideas when Kojo’s bark echoes through the house. There’s a rustling outside that’s caught his attention though not important enough that he feels the need to get up from his spot in the corner of the room where he lays curled up in his bed.

“Shhh, Kojo,” she whispers, bringing a finger to her lips to try and get him to stop.

It doesn’t work and he ends up doing the opposite, barking a little louder this time as he sits up and stares out the window. Lucy’s gaze travels to see the branches swaying up and down, leaves rustling against the living room window.

“It’s just the wind,” she assures him though this doesn’t seem to satisfy Kojo as he gets up, running from one side of the room to another, as his barking gets louder. It’s enough to rattle Tim away as he she feels him suddenly jolt against her only to ease once he realizes she’s wrapped in his arms.

“Welcome back, sleeping beauty,” her eyes dart toward the back of her head to look at Tim, still somewhat out of it as he adjusts his gaze to their surroundings

“Very funny,” he answers groggily.

“What?” she teases, “all I’m saying is that for someone who’s always nagging about situational awareness, you sure were out of it.”

“A. I don’t nag about situational awareness, I am just a firm believer that it is a necessary skill to have, on and off the job,” he shoots back though his expression and tone softens at the next part, “and B. I feel safe when I’m with you.”

She blinks at him for a moment, loosening herself from him enough to remain close but sitting up to face him better.

“That’s not fair!” she chuckles lightly as she shifts around a little to adjust how she’s laying next to him to better face him. “I can’t make fun of you for that!”

Tim laughs, shaking his head at her response as he presses a soft kiss to her temple. “It’s true.”

“I know,” she grumbles, “I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

For a second, time stands still as their gazes lock and they exist together in this moment. The silence once Lucy always felt challenged to tackle being a space she feels comfortable in. They’ve learned to communication with only their expressions, Lucy knowing she can read Tim like the back of her hand and knows he knows her better than anyone else.

“You want to hear a secret?”

“Hmm?” she muses, this time sitting up completely as her back rests against the couch and her legs swing on top of Tim’s. His hand finds its way to her thigh as his finger mindlessly traces circles against her upper leg.

“I’ve always felt safe with you.”

“Bull.” There’s a defiant look in Lucy’s eyes, ready to call him on his bluff but he remains serious and she blinks, her expression morphing into a bit of surprise as her lips slightly part.

“Really?” she says almost breathless because for as well as she knows him, there are things she’s still learning. Things like this that somehow manage to reach deep inside her and cause her to fall in love with him a little more.

“Really,” he nods, “You saved my life on your second day, didn’t even hesitate for a second. Not even after the hell I had put you through the day before.”

“It was the right thing to do. Anyone would have done it,” she protests.

Now it’s Tim who adjusts his position on the couch, keeping her legs thrown over him as he sits up to face her better. “No, Lucy,” he argues, “Not everyone would have done that. You could have frozen. You could have tried to shield yourself instead but you risked your life as bullets were flying at you to save me.”

“I hate you,” she mumbles again but this time in almost a whisper as tears well in her eyes. Getting emotional after a long day at work had definitely not been in her plans yet here she is, almost crying because Tim managed to surprise her yet again with something she wasn’t expecting.

Tim chuckles as he squeezes her leg in reassures and leans in to press a soft kiss to her lips. She leans into him, lips parting as she allows him better access, wasting no time in deepening the kiss. Butterflies flutter in her stomach at his taste, by his touch, as her hand travels to wrap itself around his neck before she feels him pulling away and chases his lips.

“I still thought you were a pain in my ass though,” he smirks.

“Hey!” Way to ruin the moment!” She chuckles and it rings in the air as it intertwines with Tim’s laughter.

“So we both thought the other was a pain in the ass?”

“I mean it was part of the job. I was there to train you, not be your friend.”

“Funny how that worked out.”

“Well, that’s why you were a pain in my ass. Not only were you this hot shot rookie eager to prove yourself but you were good at it. You had a lot to learn and you seconded guessed yourself so much but when it counted, you never even blinked. You’d never shut up either,” he laughs, “Despite how much I told you constantly that the shop was a personal life free zone, you always shared so much about your life with me and you pushed me to share about mine.”

“That’s because deep down I knew you were a huge softie.”

“I am not a softie!” he grumbles while trying to bite back a laugh.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m not!”

She shoots him a pointed look, brow raised with a playful smirk curved on her lips. She can easily count off the many different ways Tim Bradford is a total softie. Not just with her but with anyone he cares about. For as tough and gruff as he comes off as, with those that matter he’d move heaven and earth for without question.

“Fine,” he finally admits, “maybe I am but people aren’t supposed to know that!”

“Oh,” the expression on her face drops as she feigns surprise, “oops!”

“Oops?”

“I may have admitted on camera that you were a huge softie,” she smirks.

Tim rolls his eyes, shaking his head at her answer. “I know! They asked me about it!”

“Sorry!” she giggles.

“No, you’re not,” he teases back.

She shakes her head with a triumphed grin curved on her lips. “No. No, I’m not. Can you blame me though?”

“I can try.”

She reacts by swatting him playfully on the arm to which he fakes injury with an exaggerated “ow!” There’s something so dramatic about the way he reacts that causes her to laugh even harder as he joins her.

The laughter between the two settles and their eyes lock on one another. Her smile widens as he cups her cheek. It’s so easy for her to get lost in that sea of blue, lost in the warmth and love his gaze holds. It say so much without having to say anything at all. She’s come to learn that he doesn’t have to speak for Lucy to know exactly what he’s trying to convey. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss onto her forehead before pulling her into him.

She settles against his chest, thinking about how she could stay like this forever. Wrapped in his arms, just the two of them. She simmers on this thought as she starts to drift away, eyes becoming heavier and heavier, until she lulls into a peaceful slumber.

#the rookie #chenford #chenford fanfic #chenford fic #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #this has been in my drafts for /months/#and i finally got tired of having it half finished and raged wrote it??#except there's no rage here just fluff lmao

121 notes · View notes

thespectral-wolf · 11 months

Text

An Idle Conversation

My (only) submission to this year's Shadamy Week. I actually started writing this back in 2021, but I wasn't satisfied with it. But since I saw that it thematically fit both of the prompts of the first day (Immortality/Late Night-Early Morning), I went ahead and reworked it.

---

Amy lay in her bed, eyes closed. She stayed like that for a couple of minutes before glancing at her clock. 5:49 am. She has been hoping for the sweet embrace of sleep to take her back again for almost an hour now.

This has been a recurring problem lately and more and more had she been wishing back to her young days when she could sleep like a stone after an adventure. Maybe she missed the thrill more than the ability to sleep longer. With Eggman gone, there wasn’t anyone bold and ambitious enough to kickstart world threatening events anymore. Not that she would give up the peace that she and her friends now have. All she has to worry about is keeping her little business going and making sure to stay in touch with the others. Still, some days, she still longed for adventure…

She let out a silent sigh and sat up. Might as well start the day early instead of making futile efforts to fall back asleep. She yawned as she stepped out of her bedroom and went to the kitchen. She has been staying in her weekend house for a few weeks. She planned for a little alone time, however an unexpected visitor similarly looking for some peace changed her plans a bit. The door of the guest room was closed, but Amy knew he was up from the freshly brewed coffee in the pot. She took out a mug and poured herself some, grabbing a few sugarcubes from the counter and a spoon from the drawer before going outside.

She stepped out to the porch, and took a deep breath of the chilly morning air.

“You’re up early.” Shadow was sitting at the coffee table solving some sort of newspaper puzzle.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Amy said as she took a seat across from him. She started stirring her coffee before she continued “Why’d you make coffee this early though? You don’t even like it.”

“As a drink,” Shadow rebutted without looking up, “and I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“It would’ve gone cold by the time I normally get up, don’t you think?” she picked at him playfully.

“That’s what the microwave is for,” he said with a slight edge in his voice, although his faint smile showed he wasn’t actually annoyed.

“True,” she took a sip while resting her eyes on her garden, which was basked in the golden light of the rising Sun.

“What’cha solving?” she asked after a brief pause.

“Crosswords,” Shadow answered without as much as glancing at her.

Somehow the whole idea of Shadow occupying himself with ‘old people entertainment’ amused her.

“And how’s it going?” she asked, barely containing her smile.

“Too easy,” he folded the newspaper and reached down beside him. He showed a dozen of other newspaper pages with the crosswords already filled out. “They hardly give me a challenge. At least if the punchlines were better…” He promptly threw the papers down and returned to solving the one in his hand.

“If you dislike them so much, why do you bother then?” Amy inquired.

“It keeps me busy, I guess,” Shadow shrugged.

Amy mused on that a little.

“You know, this isn’t such a bad idea actually,” she pointed at the paper. “Doing mental work, I mean. Maybe I should start doing something like that. Old people have to keep their brains oiled, right?” She joked.

“You’re only 56, Amy. You’re not old.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You’re one to talk, Mr. Forever-Young,” Amy teased. She was just taking in the scenery when she noticed that Shadow went quiet. She looked over to him. He put the paper down and stared with an unreadable look on his face. Amy cocked her head:

“What’s wrong?”

Shadow seemed to shake out of his trance, his eyes dashed to her for a moment before he shook his head and averted his gaze.

“Nothing,” he hesitated. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“C’mon,” Amy pressed. “I can see that something’s bothering you.”

“It’s just,” Shadow sighed. “I don’t like it when you call me that. It reminds me that I’m…”

Oh… that.

“I’m sorry,” she said, almost instinctively.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her.

"No, I’m really sorry, I know you hate when we bring that up.”

“It’s fine, really!” Shadow said with a bit too much force on his voice. He blew out some air. “Let’s just… talk about something else.”

But no other topic seemed to come to either of them. They sat there in silence for several minutes, staring off to the treeline surrounding the yard. There was a low mist still hanging to the ground in the distance, making it all seem ethereal.

“I like these moments,” Shadow spoke up eventually. “When everything’s slow and you can just exist in it. I just wonder… if I’ll remember them a hundred years down the line.”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Amy blinked at him.

Shadow shrugged.

“I have forgotten so much already. If it weren’t for the logs, I would not remember much of my time on the ARK. And if a single trauma was enough to wipe my memories,” he tapped his head for emphasis, “how can I be sure that it won’t happen again?”

Amy could practically feel the sadness in his voice. She knew all too well about Shadow’s fear. Even now, there were moments when he wasn’t quite there with them. Moments when he woke up and seemed to be completely lost for several seconds, as if he did not recognize his surroundings. Moments when he was quiet even by his own standards, looking at nothing, breaths deep and heavy. It took so many years for him to open up and tell those who were the closest to him that the damage Professor Gerald and his fall through the atmosphere did still left his mind vulnerable.

“But you’ll have pictures and videos to keep by your side. And your family will be there to remember us,” she made a weak attempt at comforting him. “And I’m pretty sure Omega will be around.”

“Pictures will fade, data can corrupt. And they weren’t there with us on our old adventures. They don’t have our shared memories,” Shadow’s response sounded like as if he practiced it. “And in a generation or two, there will be no one left to remember. Also, “he gave her a pointed look,” what do you think Omega will do once he has hunted down and eliminated the last of Eggman’s legacy?”

“Well, I’m stumped,” Amy threw her hands up. It was far too early to deal with all of this. She didn’t even finish her coffee yet! She rested her head in her hand. She wasn’t frustrated with Shadow’s rebuttals, but she hated that even after all these years he could still get so caught up in his own thoughts. And in some sense, he was right. They didn’t know just how long will Shadow live, but it was obvious that for someone in his fifties — or nineties if they counted his time in stasis — he looked like someone fresh out of college. Only his soul aged.

“It’s just…” Shadow continued. He fiddled with his hands as he went on, staring in front of him. “I have sworn to keep the world safe. And I am keeping to that oath. And it means that I’ll have to go on, no matter the circumstances, but,” he breathed out slowly “So much has changed since then. I tried keeping everyone at distance thinking it would make it easier, but I was just lying to myself. And now… I don't want to lose this. Just thinking about the fact that there will be a time when I’ll have nothing left of you outside of fickle memories, it…”

“It terrifies you,” Amy finished for him. Shadow nodded, eyes looking away.

She sighed, rubbing her eyes.

“Listen, I’d be lying if I said that I would know how to handle outliving my loved ones. And it pains me to think about how you’ll have to watch us go, but… look, I know you’re strong. And I know you’re able to let new people in your life, even if it takes time. And you will be making new memories,” just then, a thought came to her. “There is a saying, you know… ‘nobody is really gone as long as we keep talking about them’,” she reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

Shadow gave her a defeated look.

“I guess,” he swallowed. “When the time comes, I can… tell our stories. As long as I am able.”

Amy squeezed his shoulder.

“I trust that you will tell them truthfully… But that being said,” she nudged him lightly, “it’s not like these are urgent matters,” light playfulness returned to her voice. “You said it yourself, I’m only 56. And I’m not planning to go till I’m at least a hundred!”

A faint smile appeared on Shadow’s lips.

“You better keep yourself to your word then.”

“Oh, you bet! You’ll have me at 99, still kicking, and ready to talk your ear off whenever you try to question yourself.”

That got a small chuckle out of Shadow. He shook his head, amused look on his face, as he picked up the newspaper and his pen again. “I have no doubt about it.”

Amy smiled, and discreetly watched him work through the crosswords while she finished her coffee. The melancholy feeling still lingered; she knew there will be a time when Shadow will have to face all of this, and neither she or the others will be there to walk him through it. But maybe, moments like this will be enough to help him. What she knew for certain was that however long he can, he will cherish them.

#shadamy week 2023 #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #my works #fanfic #I know it's a ship week but I intentionally left their relationship vague in this

31 notes · View notes

hogenmogen · 6 months

Text

Part of my Journey into Femdom

“Right now? Here? You’re serious. I … uh... there are people around...” My boy-toy was a few years younger than me, and less experienced. It was the summer of 1993, and the mall was a bustling hub of commerce. The night before, he had gifted me a pair of nice boots, and to his pleasure and surprise, I wore them out for our shopping trip. He was remarking how sexy they looked, when I said that he should give each one a kiss. ”I don’t think I can do that...” His face was flushed and his breathing had changed.

“Follow me,” I commanded. The thought of him publicly humiliating himself to worship my feet, even briefly was thrilling. But to be honest, I’d never done something like that. He had been such a willing servant behind closed doors that maybe I had over-estimated him. I was too excited about how daring we were being to think of what he wanted. Males were made for adoring their owners and I was going to be adored by my foot slave, darn it.

We arrived at a dead end area with a service elevator and public restrooms. Not the most exciting area for me, but if I could break him in here, maybe I could get him to kiss the boots somewhere else later. “Now. Do it.” I pointed.

“There are still people, Mistress.”

“I don’t care.”

“I … do.”

I grabbed his chin and made him look into my eyes. “What a male thinks doesn’t concern me. I could start slapping you in the face, and NONE of these people are going to say a damn thing.”

He hemmed and hawed for a long time. “Slave, if you don’t kiss both my boots right now, I’m going to take you home and give you a thrashing like you’ve never had. “I’ll take that, Ma’am,” he said, almost sadly. We didn’t speak in the car. Being let down like that really brings back my old insecurities. I’m a “curvy” girl. Yes, that means fat. So many past relationships went badly because although I gave them everything they wanted behind closed doors, they would rarely want to be seen with me outside. I really thought this one could get past that, and want me for the large and superior woman that I am.

I hit him with everything I had. I didn’t have a lot of equipment back then, but I used it all. I tied that boy down as tightly as I could and spanked him with my little paddle until my arm was sore and his bottom was ripe red. “Any man of mine is going to adore me in private and in public. You WILL obey!” Then I swatted his hot dog around as he screamed into the gag. I hammered on him for an hour, then made him lick me to climax. Yes, I came, but it was still empty. He was a great lover, and I wanted him inside, but I knew it wasn’t going to truly satisfy my hunger no matter how much sausage he was packing. I let him out to brush his teeth and wash up, then locked him down for the night. Yes, now I read all this kink online about the 24/7 lifestylers doing this all the time, but this was his first night completely in bondage.

The next day, I took him out and had him beg forgiveness. All the “Please forgive me, Mistress, I’m sorry Mistress, won’t misbehave Mistress, please let me make it up to you, Mistress” and all of that. He knew he did wrong, but he had no idea what I was feeling. After sleeping on things, the emotions weren’t quite so raw, and we carried on conversations with the tension lessening through the morning.

“Get dressed. Get in the car.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going to see if you’re really sorry for yesterday.” He hesitated, saw my boots, then put on his shoes. I casually took him by the stores with lingerie displays in the windows. We chatted about which would look good on me and which just looked trashy.

“Are you up for it?”

He glanced around. It seemed like the mall was even more populated. “Oh, I thought... um... can we go back to... ?”

“Let’s sit on that bench, and we’ll discuss where would be a good place, ok?” And he agreed. “There are a lot of ladies around. We’re in the area with a lot of women’s clothing boutiques, so I’m sure you wouldn’t want to ---” I stopped, grabbed his shirt and pulled him over my lap. I’m big, but he’s was a male and quite tall and strong himself, but he hardly resisted. I smacked him as hard as I could with my bare hands. His jeans protected him from the worst of it, but he still seemed sore from yesterday. Every swat must have seemed like an eternity for him, with every smack turning more and more heads. It must have felt like 100, but it was probably only around 8 or 10. He sat up, dazed. We stared at each other for a second and he kissed me hard. I started to say something about going to the nearly deserted corner near Spencer Gifts and the Build-a-Bear, but he dropped to the floor and kissed each boot twice. He stood up and tried to recoup as much masculinity as he could, but it was a done deal. We were now on a higher level. I got him to do it again, when we were passing the food court, and again in the parking lot.

Ladies, how do you know you have a “keeper”? When he can be kept.

#curvy mistress

18 notes · View notes

blithesrps · 3 months

Text

Rat I

It was too quiet.

The silence seemed heavy, like a pillow pressed over Rat’s face that left him just enough air to panic. There were no whispers echoing over curved stone walls, no soft rustles of rodents seeking scraps at the corner of every cell, and no booming cracks that announced someone had gotten the whip again.

There was just the quiet.

Rat rolled over in the bed he had been told was his, placed in one of the many vacant rooms in the Ramshackle dorm. The bed itself was part of the problem. Too soft, like it was trying to swallow him. He’d never laid on anything so fine before, complete with a thick comforter that had been kicked to the bottom of the mattress. He’d never even seen a bed like this one before. It was wrong. Rat wasn’t supposed to have nice things. Hivechildren did not have nice things.

Yet here he was. Ara had come for him like she’d promised, pulled him from the den of snakes like a god plucking life from a seething ocean. He knew he would be safe here if she said he would, but he couldn’t kill the part of him that expected to see an Enforcer bursting through the door at any moment. That would be the end of everything, when they came. No way they’d let Ara and him live after such a malfunction.

So…where did that leave him?

Already dead, he supposed. If they caught him, he’d be killed quickly. Which might not be so terribly bad. No more punishments, or fights, or fear of getting sold to a master who would want to take him apart piece by piece. Hivechildren weren’t allowed into the afterlife, so he guessed he’d just be…gone.

Suddenly, the silence seemed more threatening than before.

Taking a shuddering breath, Rat slipped from the bed, walking on the balls of his feet across the cool wood to his door. Opening it with a muted groan of old hinges, he poked his head into the hall. One of the rooms there belonged to Yuuri, the kind girl who had shown him around when he’d arrived that morning. The strange beast named Grim slept with her, which meant Rat didn’t have to be afraid of running into him alone in the dark. The ghosts though…

For a long time, Rat stood there frozen still, eyes locked onto the hallway looking for any movement or sign of …well, not life. Undead? Any sign of ghosts. Only when he was satisfied did he move out the door, and even then, it was with the caution of a hare who knew the fox was near.

Eleven steps and he arrived at another door, turning the handle slowly and slipping in with just a hush of movement. Moving quickly now, heart hammering in his chest, he hurried to the bed lit up by the glow of the moonlight, clambering onto it with a sudden vision of Thorn grabbing his ankle in the dark.

With force enough to make him choke, a hand slammed into his throat, forcing Rat down against the sheets. He squeaked in terror, catching the gleam of a silver knife in a hand before gasping out, “Ara!”

“Rat,” Ara replied in almost the same moment, lowering the steak knife she’d stolen from the kitchens on her own first night at Ramshackle, “Rat…I could have hurt you.” She released his throat, sitting back and looking at him reproachfully. Rat flushed red, embarrassed at his obvious mistake. He should have announced himself, not dove into her bed like a frightened child.

“S-s-s-sorry…” he said, swallowing as Ara slid the knife back under her pillow. She studied his expression for a moment, before glancing out the window to gauge the hour. Though she’d been sleeping just a moment before, her eyes were alert now.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him finally, turning back to face him. Rat dropped his gaze.

“I c-couldn’t sleep. It’s too…” he trailed off.

“…I know. It was for me too,” Ara admitted, softening as her heart rate slowed again, “But I think…we’re okay here. I think it’s going to be different. I think we can be different.” Rat didn’t reply, frightened and thrilled by the prospect.

“How do you know?” he asked.

“I don’t,” she answered honestly, “But I believe. And as long as I am here, you do not have to be afraid. I will look after you.” Now Ara spoke with conviction. She knew that though they were certainly safer here than they had been in the Hive, it was still frightening, trying to step into a world full of people who may as well have been from a different planet. She didn’t know if it was possible for the two of them to fit among them, but she was willing to try. She would give anything she had to be able to try.

“Lay down,” she ordered softly, laying back down in bed herself and lifting the blanket with her arm. Rat shyly slid down under the covers, pushing close enough to Ara’s side that he could find comfort in her familiar scent.

“Go to sleep,” Ara went on, watching until Rat closed his eyes and let out an exhale of relief, “Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to my friend.”

Rat’s eyes opened in again in surprise, “Your…friend?” Ara smiled, trying to restrain from grinning.

“Yes. You’ll like them. They’re like us, a bit,” she told him, reaching to rest a hand on his head, the most affection she’d ever felt allowed to show the younger boy, “Go to sleep, Rat.”

He did. And for the first night in his entire life, Rat slept without dreaming.

#blithes ocs: Rat #blithes ocs: ara

6 notes · View notes

saltwukong · 9 months

Note

I'll bite, how?

Both RWBY stans and RWDE consistently miscast and misrepresent the style and aesthetics of the characters they obsess over in almost identical ways. Ask me how.

RWBY stans want everything as qu**r as possible to prop up RWBY as a progressive show, and can therefore commonly be found painting Yang as some kind of butch lesbian dream with abs and muscles galore, despite the fact that Yang is about as butch as I am (hint: not at all).

RWDE types, on the other hand, want to misremember older RWBY as more inherently qu**r (I'm using that word to satisfy y'all, not me) so that they can decry what Rooster Teeth ruined and took from them, despite the fact that there's more than enough reasons to hate Rooster Teeth without making shit up. Couldn't find it again (not that I care about anyone who catches strays, y'all know me, I'll vibe check my best friends), but I've seen people refer to Ruby as butch and Blake as gnc. Not new Blake--old Blake, with the cleaver sword.

What part of this is gender-nonconforming to you? Is it the bow? The high heels? The thigh-high stockings? The exposed midriff? There is not a single member of RWBY who is butch or gender nonconforming. And you know why?

Cause that wasn't in vogue. That hadn't taken off yet. What was in vogue at the time was feminist fantasy. Girl power. Girly girls glittering and high heel-ing their way through battle. And that's why the members of Team RWBY look the way they do--feminine. Ruby's goth feminine. Yang's aggressively feminine. Weiss is princess feminine. Yang dresses for the male gaze, skirts are everywhere, and even Blake, an anti-establishment rebel who sleeps in tents, looks suitably dark feminine.

Here's the thing: that's not a bad thing. For what it was at the time, RWBY as the girl power fantasy that was every bit as actionized and violent as the male version tends to be was incredibly attractive as a concept. Hell, it still is.

Yang doesn't have abs, she never has, she never will, and that's okay. It doesn't take away from her. Her lack of abs isn't a problem on its own, it's not a flaw. There's no reason she should or shouldn't, they're not a required feature for someone at her tier of 'anime'. It becomes a problem when you consider the idea she won't ever have them because Miles personally wouldn't find it attractive, but that's still another story than what Yang actually was concepted as and made it into Poser as.

I once saw someone refer to Adam Taurus' (who definitely suffered under RT) original design as 'the most bisexual-looking character in the show' and gurl, that was a man in a suit, slacks, and loafers--calm down. It was far and away less lgbt-looking than the Grimmjow model he was actually sculpted from. Same energy as when I see kpop fans referring to a man's look as "cunty" and it's just a dude in a tank top.

Sometimes this happens with race, too. I see people claiming RT whitewashed the fuck out of Sun Wukong when the switch to Maya came, and then in the two screenshots provided he looks exactly the same.

RWBY as characters lost a lot when Rooster Teeth started changing their appearances, but qu**rness wasn't one of them, because the truth is that RWBY has just never been a very qu**r show. It was barely feminist in 2013, and even in its glory days, it was still pretty straight and cis and within cultural trends. It doesn't make sense to turn classic RWBY into something it wasn't just to exhaustively mourn what you were robbed of, especially when in truth quite a lot of these people weren't around then to get robbed in the first place.

#asks #Anonymous #rwde

13 notes · View notes

thatfragilecapricorn30 · 1 year

Text

chantilly lace

msr, humor & smut | explicit | 2k words | ao3 | tagging @today-in-fic

Mulder and Scully were late for work for the third day in a row. Their physical relationship was still fairly new and in the first few weeks, they had agreed: no sleepovers Sunday to Thursday. Well, Scully proposed it and Mulder acquiesced because he was just happy to be around her and would take what he could get. But then it became harder and harder for both of them to say goodbye each day they left the office and one of them kept coming up with an excuse to call or visit on a weeknight. So the old rule was nixed in favor of a new rule: work couldn’t be affected by their relationship and they needed to keep it under wraps.

But it was so hard to resist her in the morning, sleep soft and naked and pressed against him. Mulder was just a man, right? And he didn’t hear Scully complaining about their morning romps. In fact, it was quite the opposite and she seemed more than satisfied. Well, unless “God, Mulder, don’t stop, yes, yes, yes” had another meaning he was not aware of.

Luckily no one noticed them entering the basement office after 9 am, but one day, Skinner was going to call down and realize his two least favorite agents weren’t in on time. They were still taking separate cars to the Hoover building, leaving a few minutes apart so they didn’t arrive at the same time. Mulder was trying to talk Scully out of that as well - it seemed ridiculous to waste the gas and he doubted anyone was paying that close attention to them. But he knew he was already on thin ice when Scully entered the office grumbling about Mulder making her twenty minutes late to work.

“Well, maybe if you wore some clothes to bed,” Mulder muttered under his breath.

Scully struck him with her patented stare, with one eyebrow quirked. “Excuse me?”

Mulder cleared his throat. “I mean, maybe if we both wore clothes to bed. Waking up naked next to you, also naked, is too great of a temptation in the morning.”

Scully looked pointedly at his crotch. “You think clothes are going to stop that?” she asked incredulously.

“Hey!” Mulder exclaimed, offended on behalf of his penis. “Do you have a better idea?”

“Maybe we should go back to weekends only?” she suggested innocently, looking through the files on her desk.

“Nuh uh, no way,” Mulder emphasized. “If you recall, that didn’t work out so well the first time.”

He didn’t want to be a sap, but he would miss her too much if they returned to their original schedule. Sure, he saw her every day in the office, but it wasn’t not the same as hanging out after work, eating dinner, and going to bed together each night.

“You get one more chance, Mulder,” Scully warned. “We need to be on time for work tomorrow.”

—

Mulder collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavy. “That was amazing,” he praised.

Scully was sitting on the floor, one elbow on the bed, Cheshire grin on her face. He had no idea how she was so good at blow jobs, but he was a little nervous to ask. She had suggested it as a way to calm him down overnight and hopefully it would do the trick.

Mulder tugged on her blouse, still somewhat out of it. “I can return the favor, you know,” he offered.

Scully shook her head, “I know you can, but then we’ll have to deal with that again, and we’ll never get any sleep.”

She was right - oral sex would just give him another hard-on that would need to be addressed. Better just to call it a night now.

After coming back to his senses, Mulder grabbed his boxers and sweatpants. “See,” he said to Scully, wiggling his eyebrows comically. “Two layers of clothes! We got this, Scully!”

She rolled her eyes and got up, grabbing her overnight bag on her way into the bathroom.

Mulder went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Frequent sex was making him dehydrated. He brought a glass back for Scully too, who was just finishing up her nighttime routine. She walked out of the bathroom and Mulder did a spit take.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Scully had on a nightgown that had to be the ugliest thing Mulder had ever seen. It was very modest; the skirt fell all the way to her feet, sleeves to her wrist and a high collar that covered almost her entire neck. There were lacy frills everywhere and the monstrosity was a pink that clashed hideously with her hair.

Scully twirled around. “My grandma got it for me when I went to college. She was worried my ‘innocence’ would be ‘compromised,’” Scully added the air quotes, “and this would scare away any potential suitors.”

“And why do you still have it?”

“Well, it’s coming in handy tonight, isn’t it!”

Mulder smirked, “Wow, she really knew you’d be beating them off with a stick, huh.”

“Well, beating you off at least,” Scully joked.

Mulder laughed at the double entendre and got in bed. Scully went out to the living room and returned with pillows, which she placed in the middle of the bed.

“Scul-lee,” Mulder whined. “Is that really necessary?”

“There will be no hanky-panky the rest of the night,” Scully proclaimed. “Or morning,” she added.

“You don’t have to worry about anything happening while you’re in that get-up. I feel like I’m sleeping next to my great aunt Beatrice.”

“Good,” Scully said primly. She turned off the light and settled back into bed.

“Hey, Scully, when I said I liked Chantilly lace, this wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Go to sleep, Mulder,” she admonished.

The pillows (and the dress) stopped Mulder and Scully from touching each other at all during the night. Mulder woke up rested and unaroused for once. Victory! He checked the time: it was a little before their alarms were set to go off so there was no way they would be late today. Scully was hidden behind all of the pillows, so he threw them on the floor so he could observe her sleeping. Her face was mushed into the pillow and her hair was a mess, but he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her in bed with him. And not only in bed, but in his life too.

Mulder took in the nightgown she was wearing. Man, that thing was ugly. And it showed practically no skin, so unsexy. He felt like a Victorian gentleman, getting excited about seeing a woman’s ankles. Though, Scully had nice, delicate ankles. And hands too. Actually, it was a little thrilling, how covered up she was. Mulder would have to unwrap her if he wanted to see what was underneath. What was she wearing underneath? Wait a second, he wasn’t supposed to be having these thoughts. He better wake up Scully to put a stop to this madness. Of course, Mulder couldn’t just do it normally. He had to kiss her, since that was all he was getting this morning. She was unresponsive at first, but then he could tell she was awake when her lips started moving under his.

“Mmm, good morning,” she said sleepily.

“Good morning,” Mulder replied, moving to kiss her ear, then the tiny part of her neck that was exposed.

She smelled so good; it was going to be hard to stop. And Scully wasn’t helping matters, she hooked a leg around his waist to bring him closer. Mulder tried to keep his hips away from hers but it was useless. His hands began roaming her body covered by the nightgown, which was actually really soft. He could feel her puckered nipples under the fabric and it was tantalizing being able to feel her body but not truly have access to it. Mulder brought his hands to her ass, trying to feel what she was wearing. Plain cotton panties to go with the outfit? He couldn’t feel anything so maybe it was the sheer underwear she wore under tight skirts. Mulder tried pulling the bottom of her dress up so he could satisfy his curiosity, but it was too tight to push up in their position. She had to take the nightgown off anyway to get dressed, so he wasn’t in trouble yet.

“Mulder,” Scully gasped, breaking away from their kiss.

He pulled back a little. “We should stop, right?” he asked.

“No, don’t stop,” she responded, and turned over in his arms so she was on her stomach. She propped herself up on her knees and all of the blood in Mulder’s body rushed to a certain part of his anatomy.

He used both hands to ease the fabric up her legs, so curious as to what he would find. Which was nothing.

“Scully,” he groaned. She slept all night next to him in this prim and proper nightgown without any panties. Was she trying to kill him? He admired the creamy globes of her ass before bending over to leave a little love bite on one cheek. She jerked forward and then pushed back, clearly wanting more.

“I don’t think this is appropriate attire for a woman worried about ‘hanky panky’,” Mulder commented, using her words from last night. He took no time at all removing his pants and boxers. It appeared that the two layers didn’t really stop much in the end.

He lined himself up behind her, fingers gripping her hips, cock sliding along her folds. Jesus Christ, she was wet. He pushed the dress up higher, until it was just hanging off her shoulders, so he could caress her breasts. He pinched her right nipple and Scully whined.

“Mulder, please.”

“Shh, be patient, baby,” Mulder cooed. He was enjoying teasing her, but was starting to realize he couldn’t hold out much longer either.

He eased in slowly, trying to quell the instinct to thrust quick and fast. She felt so good and he didn’t want it to be over too fast. Plus, he owed her an orgasm.

Mulder started a steady place, feeling the pleasure start to build. He let his hands roam Scully’s body, enjoying her soft skin. He knew she wouldn’t be able to touch herself easily in this position, so he did it for her, fingers softly touching her clit in a way that he knew would drive her crazy. His feather-light touch was purposely getting her closer without pushing her over the edge.

“Mulder,” she whined again.

“What, baby?” he asked.

“More,” she begged.

He couldn’t deny her when she felt so good, was so good to him. He thrust harder and increased the pressure of his finger on her clit, so that he finally felt her tightening around his cock. He followed soon after and they both fell back on the bed, out of breath.

After a few moments, Scully sat up to pull the ugly nightdress all the way off and flung it over the side of the bed.

Mulder started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “I can’t believe the dress didn’t work. Scully, I promise I can be a gentleman.”

Scully snorted. “Mulder, did you hear me complaining? This is as much my fault as it is yours. We’re both to blame for our … vigorous physical relationship,” she said delicately.

She continued, “Plus we’re still in the honeymoon phase. Our relationship is still new; it will wear off.”

“Wear off?” Mulder asked, a little surprised by the thought. “Scully, I can assure you - nothing is wearing off. If this is the honeymoon phase now, what’s it going to be like when we’re actually married?”

“Married, Mulder?” Scully asked, her tone neutral. She turned on her side to look at him, her arm propping up her head.

Mulder felt his face turn beet red. “Shit, I’m sorry, Scully. I don’t even know your thoughts on that and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he started rambling to cover up his embarrassment.

Scully leaned over to cup his cheek and then kiss him. “I get to pick out the ring,” she whispered when she pulled back, a smile forming on her face.

Mulder’s heart felt full and he was suddenly smiling so wide his mouth hurt. He pushed her back so that he could hover over her. The look of love on Scully’s face surely mirrored his own. He wanted to stare at her all day and know that there was someone that cared about him, loved him. But he also had a bone to pick with her.

He used his weight to pin her to the bed. “You’re in trouble, though, for that stunt you pulled.”

She looked up at him questioningly.

“Not wearing any underwear? That was naughty, Scully.”

“What are you going to do about it, Mulder?” she challenged.

They were late for the fourth time that week.

#me posting this 🫣#the x files #msr #txf #my.txf #txf fic #dana scully #fox mulder

28 notes · View notes

comicarc · 1 month

Text

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐨

(Part 1 of Moirai)

Fate is a fickle thing and it seems to hate Diana. As the three sisters of fate weave the thread that is the Princess' life, Diana learns that hope can emerge in even the darkest of corners and that death is only the beginning. As she confronts her haunting past, she realizes what it truly means to be a hero. Sort of a character study (with plot) of Wonder Woman as she discovers what it means to live as a human and live among other mighty heroes.

wc: 5431

A/N: Wonder Woman is one of my favorite superheroes, but she's often portrayed in a negative light, especially since people characterize her with her Injustice persona. I just wanted to share my two cents on how I imagine her perspective to look like.

The new collection of terracotta amphoras had just made its way into the museum, much to Diana’s glee. It was another collection of Greek artifacts for her to enthuse over, providing a fading connection between her and her ancient sisters. Yet, it was to be her last as well, for after today she was to be promoted to a museum curator. It was a deserved promotion after the years Diana poured her soul into her work. She felt a deeper connection to history than most, which made her job all the more fitting and fulfilling.

“I’m clocking out for the day. You should too, Diana. Big day tomorrow.” Her coworker waved at the woman as she departed from her office.

Internally groaning at the reminder of her new responsibilities Diana answered with a chuckle. “See you tomorrow Lucy.”

The Cultural Museum in Gateway City was a well-renowned historical landmark always having plentiful visitors at all times of the year. Its location on the Golden Coast had also helped boost its visitors with mounds of tourists piling in every summer. Coincidentally, Diana would overtake her new role at the start of this season.

After cataloging the amphoras in the archives and finishing any remaining paperwork, Diana locked up the museum and headed home at about 1 am, still ecstatic about her promotion. As she walked home with her coat in hand, not feeling the morning chill that had prompted her to bring it in the first place, Diana opted to head through a nearby park, faintly lit by the glow of string lights and fireflies.

She had come to cherish the summers in California, for in the evenings, the temperature would always be pleasantly warm, and perfect for walks much like this. She hummed an old lullaby that her aunt would sing her to sleep, one whose title she couldn’t recall as it was lost to time in the world of man. There were many such ancient things in which she had indulged, many habits that were peculiar to her friends, yet welcomed nonetheless.

Here and now, she felt a false sense of security and peace. A fate she refused to face, having settled into the mundane, easy life of living as a normal human. Yet even the satisfying facade was vulnerable to reality as Diana approached a bench with a Gotham Times newspaper lying on it. The paper was wrinkled from days of becoming damp and dry, having been folded again and again by people as they flipped through it.

Taking the paper in her hands, flipping through the distantly familiar worn paper, she landed on a page about a new character in Gotham. Diana traced her finger down the page, eventually finding that the publication was printed years ago. Reading on, she realized that it detailed the shadow that haunted the rampant crime lords in the streets every night, a force to be reckoned with, Batman.

The name had seemed childish to her back then, and even now, reading the name on the page caused her to let out a faint chuckle. But her chuckle turned into a bittersweet sigh, as she placed the paper back onto the bench and walked away, distraught by the reminder of what she failed to be.

Whisking herself from her thoughts, Diana quickly rushed back to her apartment, hoping that by focusing on her steps, she would forget her regrets. Eventually, when she finally entered her apartment and tucked herself into bed by 2:37 am, Diana was unable to shut her eyes. A mixture of excitement and worry about the following day whirled through her mind, keeping her awake for the duration of the night.

Despite the sleepless disarray of an evening Diana had, she was an energized force at the museum. She even had a pep to her step as she ran around the exhibits ensuring that they were up to par and ready for public observation. Her hard work was rewarded as she observed the barrage of visitors entering the museums with twinkling awe and glee painted on their faces.

By now, Diana was stationed at a corner, faking exhaustion in hopes of gaining a few moments alone to herself. She had a social limit and though it stretched far beyond that of an introvert, she still needed time to recover. Thus, gripping the heavily creamed coffee in her hand as she closed her eyes and leaned on the back of the wooden chair in which she sat, Diana took a few deep breaths.

She took a few deep breaths, pretending the aroma of the coffee was the salty scent of the sea. The scattered noises of the people were the sounds of the various animals that cooled in the water at the beach, squealing with joy in any way they could. Yet the sound of approaching footsteps broke her from her reveries, leaving her to stare at the blackness of the back of her eyelids.

“Ms. Diana Prince?” A charming, boyish voice broke through the mess of sounds in the museum. His words were clear and enunciated, yet also felt warm and inviting.

Opening her eyes, and following her gaze to the voice, Diana was met with a sweet smile. He seemed nervous, which contrasted with the commanding tall presence that the man’s shaped body seemed to exude. “Yes, that is me.”

Upon registering her words, the man took out a notepad from his suit’s pocket, and a pencil that rested behind his ear on his glasses as eagerly continued, “Clark Kent from the Daily Planet. Quite the place you have here Ms. Prince.”

“Thank you, and you can just call me Diana.” The man’s presence felt so contradicting to his personality, yet something within Diana allowed her to ease her guard. Unknowingly, she had begun to reciprocate his contagious energy, feeling a delight she hadn’t known in a long time.

“I’m writing a piece regarding the artifacts that you had received recently. They were Greek terracotta amphoras.”

“What of them? There must be a good reason they sent a Pulitzer prize-winning writer down here for a bunch of old cases.”

Clark noticed the suspicion in Diana’s sharp eyes. For a moment he wanted to reveal the truth, feeling as though she was the most trustworthy person in this world from the aura she had. He took a moment, observing the elegant, muscled woman tense at his questioning before he explained, “Just a lead for something I’m writing about. Nothing that would harm the museum, I assure you.”

Her body eased at the vague answer, for there was nothing significant about the pottery. They only held cultural significance, and with that thought Diana obliged, “I won’t be able to show you the collection myself, but,” she gestured at Lucy standing near a doorway entrance, “Lucy there, would be happy to show it to you. Just let her know I sent you.” With a professional smile, Diana saw off Clark as he dawdled to Lucy, taking noticeably apprehensive steps toward the other woman. There was something peculiar about the man that Diana couldn’t pinpoint. Shaking off the interaction, she continued on with her day without a hitch.

Diana hadn’t taken any shortcuts or detours on her way back to her home that day. Surprisingly enough, she had also left the museum earlier, leaving Lucy to finish up her work in the odd hours of the night. The promotion had entailed nothing more to her routine and her initial gayness at the news had died, thus Diana had walked home with the same bittersweet feeling she had every other night.

Work was the only thing that had kept her melancholic memories at bay for when she was no longer distracted, all the regrets and fears that weighed her down, resurfaced within her mind and plagued her for far longer than she would admit. Though physically strong, mentally Diana felt like a child, experiencing pain for the first time in her life.

The easy day at the museum translated into a depressing trip down memory lane as Diana arrived at her apartment. Walking through the wooden door, Diana was transported to the past, standing as an outside observer of her previous turmoil. The dark apartment grew even darker as the things surrounding her disappeared. Before her eyes, Diana saw Gotham.

In the bland apartment that she could barely afford, she felt the pain that homesickness had plagued many others. The transition from a land of paradise to a land of the dying was stark and brutal. For the first time in her life, Diana could not find hope, rather a never-ending pit of gloom haunted her every night. She slept on the floor attempting to ignore the stiff surface’s effect on her body by imagining the soft creamy silk sheets that she had slept in for decades. The sea breeze would enter through her window, leaving the sheets smelling like the ocean, whereas now, Diana was surrounded by polluted, odorous air.

She reminisced Hippolyta’s motherly affection, waking her up with soft whispers every morning. Though, at times, her queenly duties seemed a nuisance to the young princess, Diana knew now of what she had lost in her adamancy. No aunt to save her from her responsibilities, no mother to shield her, no sisters to dote on her, and no one in this new world knew nor cared for her. Diana was alone.

And so, as she lay on her side on the rigid, somewhat splintered floor in the empty apartment she had to call home, Diana hugged her knees to her chest as she wept. It was no fault of anyone but herself, which had left her in such a precarious situation. She was a failure and it seemed to have been a label made most apparent by the lack of people in her life.

She sobbed as silently as she could, curling her 6’2 figure to appear as small as a mouse so that she would be invisible to the cruel fate that seemed to follow her. After a few minutes of muffled whimpers masking the noise of traffic outside and streams of tears dampening the wood beneath, her cries died, as she reminded herself a princess doesn’t cry. Diana had to take responsibility for her choices, no matter how impactful they may be, it was time for Diana to put her training to use. As long as she had her sisters in her heart, Diana had a semblance of hope. There had to be a reason for her to defect. After all, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

But as Diana snapped back into reality, rapidly blinking at the sight of scattered books on the work desk in front of her, she questioned whether this new life was truly satisfactory. Or at least, was it worth all she had lost because of curiosity?

After another sleepless night, this time the result of homesickness that had resurfaced from her memory had left her wary of finishing up her work quickly. Rather, at the museum, she opted to spend more time helping Lucy catalog the new shipments of artifacts that they received every day. Occasionally she would indulge in a certain reporter's frequent visits as she would answer all his questions about the ancient world that once was.

“Diana, are you sure you’re alright?” Lucy inquired, noticing the admirable woman hunched over her desk. Though her skin was always as perfect and smooth as that of a model, faint hints of eye bags had begun to linger under her eyes and the sudden careless posture had left Lucy concerned for her friend’s health.

“I’m fine,” noticing Lucy’s eyebrows raise at the unsatisfactory answer, she elaborated, “truly. Just a few restless nights from the work, that’s all.”

Lucy, ever nosy and endearing, pressed on, “I know you’re lying Diana. You’ve got bags under your eyes, and you seem tired every day. We’re friends…you can tell me the truth.”

Diana refused to look at Lucy, for seeing the woman’s hopeful eyes would only remind her of her inner turmoil. The hopeful, faithful, curious little girl she was when she had arrived on the shores of America was no more. She had seen reality and even she was not strong enough to overcome it. Despair had already drowned her and now counted her final days, living only to regret.

Lucy continued, hoping that her words would break through Diana’s indestructible steel walls, “Y’know, you look a lot like another Diana, I’m sure you know who I’m talking about.”

Diana’s ears perked at the statement, her dying curiosity lingering enough to allow her to finally focus on Lucy's soft voice. “Who?”

“Princess Diana, of course.” For a moment, Diana froze, petrified that another would know how miserably she had failed as both a princess and a commoner. She feared that she had been caught in her secret, her most implicating lie. But she let Lucy continue, hoping that it was a slip of her tongue.

“How do you not know Princess Diana? What are you an alien?” Lucy chuckled watching Diana’s face contort to a puzzled expression. “She was an absolute icon, as beautiful as yourself. She held herself with an otherworldly grace and had the intelligence and eloquence of an angel. But even a woman loved by millions, dare I say, billions, around the world was met with a cruel fate.”

Lucy, quickly continued, noticing Diana’s face grow more and more weary with every word, “But the Princess was alone in a world in which she never knew. Yet despite the cheating and the cruelty she was subjected to, she always had a little hope. But what she never had, was others to share her pain with…Diana, you have me. You’re not alone, and when you're plagued with a monster, know that there is always an end to misery.”

Now, Diana recalled the beloved woman who had met her untimely end. Diana was that the name of the unfortunate, for the coincidences, seemed a little too well-aligned to be as such. Maybe it was the three sisters called fate, playing a cruel trick on her. But Lucy was right, this Diana’s life was different, however slight it may be. It was time she learned from those who came before her, to share rather than keep their sorrows to fester within their soul.

Though it did not mean to spill decades of depressing experiences onto her friend’s lap, to sift and sort through, Diana thought that she should relinquish the tumultuous emotions she had felt from her hold. “I feel incompetent as if I haven’t reached my full potential.”

“Well, you shouldn’t seek to be more than you are capable of. And when you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. And isn’t that gratifying enough?”

Lucy’s words brought back a childish sense of self that Diana had forgotten. Perfection was never the answer, for that was the very thing from which she had run away. Diana was still a princess, but a princess didn’t have to be perfect, she had to lead. And a leader has plentiful flaws. As long as she lived by her ideals, Diana wouldn’t be haunted by regret. And thus with a morsel of newfound hope, Diana’s nights became more bearable, at the very least, restful.

No one attacked the Golden Coast, or at least no threat comparable to those that plagued the East Coast. Gotham, Metropolis, Star City, Central City and a myriad of others all faced world-ending threats on a nearly monthly basis. Yet, they had competent heroes designated to protect that patch of space on the vast world.

In the early days, Diana had hoped to be one such hero, known as the protector of her own city, but nothing she seemed to do seemed as benevolent and noble as that of the exploits of Superman. Even now, sitting in the coffee shop with Clark, reading the latest from the Daily Planet, Diana felt unworthy leaving the safety of her self-proclaimed world to an alien. She loved man just as much as she loved Themyscira, despite any flaws either had. Yet, she was never able to fulfill her mission as a guardian of both realms, the woman to join the past with the present. Rather, she left such endeavors to the Man of Tomorrow.

Clark noticed Diana stuck within her thoughts, and in an attempt to pull her back to the quaint coffee shop he began, “Like what you see?”

Looking at Clark once again, she chuckled as she answered, “No, I admire it.”

“How so?” Clark was intrigued for he had often heard of women gushing over the hero’s physique.”

“He doesn’t even belong to this world, and yet he sacrifices more for it than man. I admire how true to his ideals he is, despite all the negative press and the pressure he must receive from the people, to be perfect. Honestly, I wish I was as courageous as him.”

Clark looked at her, with the same admiring expression she gave to the photo in the newspaper. She spoke as if she understood the struggle of being thrust into a new world. She reminded him of himself, the doubts that always plagued him. He wasn’t perfect, no one was, but it seemed perfection meant something different to everyone. “Maybe, he’s just as scared as you and I.”

Diana thought for a moment. Taking a sip of her coffee and then turning her head back to face Clark. She smiled a bittersweet smile, before continuing, “Maybe, but at least he’s trying.” Maybe she could try too, to be what she had always dreamed to be. She had always wanted to be a hero, but self-doubt had always prevented this endeavor. How could she protect others if she couldn’t even protect herself? Diana was a princess whose world had shattered when reality pointed a gun at her head. For the longest time, she fought between what was, and what could be. It had all been too overwhelming of a struggle to try and solve. She looked outside the window, reminiscing her arrival in the New World. A zeal and wonder that had been abandoned long ago.

This was the modern world that Diana had only envisioned in her imagination. As the ship docked at the port, she couldn’t wait to explore the city that lay before her, unexplored. The speckle of light that escaped the dull, mundane rain clouds that hung low and thick in the sky, left Diana blinded to reality. Her awe and wonder at this discovery led her to believe that the waste-covered boardwalk, the thick smog in the air, and the cacophony of sounds were the preface of a spectacular endeavor.

Always the optimist, Diana held her head high, opting to stare at the beauty of the skyscraper whose tips disappeared into the sky, then pay head to the muck in which she stood. Her training, long forgotten, rather replaced by childish curiosity, led her to walk through the pier into the middle of traffic. The angry shouts from drivers and pedestrians faded into the background as Diana set her sights on an ice cream shop, just down the block.

She was unaccustomed to the ways of man, but she adapted easily, eventually understanding the difference between the roads and the sidewalks as she finally approached the shop. Her intrigue soon morphed to confusion, as upon approaching the corner store, Diana observed a woman and a child wearing thin rags as they sat at the store’s entrance. Dirt covered, and emitting a foul smell, they held out the palms of their hands as they begged for mercy. From their god or the people that passed them, Diana did not know, all she felt was pity having finally seen the suffering she had come to pillage.

A strong breeze swept through the streets causing the two to shiver uncontrollably and chatter their teeth. Diana was confused seeing the scene unfold, for though man was meant to be cruel, she had not expected the cruelty to be imposed on their own. There was an untamed selfishness and ignorance that consumed the passerbys who refused to aid the unfortunate, a notion that she had been warned of time and time again. But seeing it, left Diana’s heart heavy and so she decided to rid herself of the layers that disguised the spectacle of armor that she wore and draped the articles of clothing on the two beggars.

Diana had learned, that standing out was never a good trait in this world, for it brought about unwanted attention and pain. Clad in the red, blue, and gold armor, Diana shone amongst the crowd of mundane blues and grays that surrounded her. After departing the street with a troubled expression, Diana ran to an alley to shelter herself in the newfound comfort she found within darkness.

Finally, within the claustrophobic walls that lined a narrow walkway, Diana looked down at her feet. She saw mud and foreign residue coating her heels; residue with a pungent smell emitting from it. The sight was disgusting, yet the more Diana looked at the ground, the worse things she found to be repulsed by. Animal and human carcasses were piled in one corner, garbage bags spilled across portions of the alleyway and puddles perforated the cracked tar of the path. Blood was splattered in various locations, on the walls, on the floor, everywhere.

There was no beauty in this place. Only suffering. And Diana had subjected herself to it, all because of a false notion and a misguided prospect.

Clark stared at Diana, wondering what life the mysterious woman had lived to have developed such melancholy. He could see the twinkle of hope that lingered when her eyes widened, hearing of Superman. She herself evoked such a feeling of confidence and understanding that convinced Clarke that she was a force of love that had yet to fulfill its potential. She was a hero in her own right for the effect she had on others, himself included, was too impactful to ignore.

As the two relished in the momentary silence, both lost in their own trains of thought, the TV across the shop buzzed to life, reporting an attack on the Golden Gate Bridge by an unknown assailant. Many seemed to have been injured and trapped under the debris of the collapsing bridge and the damage seemed to have been to a greater degree than most large-scale robberies.

“Hey, Diana, I have to go?” Clark said as he quickly gathered his things and took out a twenty-dollar bill from his wallet.

“How come?” Diana asked, unaware of the news being broadcast.

“I–uh–have to report the scene at the Golden Gate. Some cat lady is tryin’ to bring the whole place down.”

It took a moment for Diana to register what Clark had quickly blurted out, and by the time she finally understood, he was gone in the blink of an eye. Craning her neck to take a glance at the TV, Diana saw the news coverage and gasped at the sight of her. Diana’s first and only failure, the very reason she had stopped her heroism.

Quickly, Diana paid for the remaining amount of the bill and rushed out of the shop to her apartment. She had to deal with this herself. Revitalizing the very symbol of her regrets meant nothing anymore, for now, she had to take responsibility for her past and stop the problem she had created. She had to stop Cheetah from hurting other innocents and prevent the women from making the same painful mistake that Wonder Woman had made.

Wonder Woman. Once, her most cherished creation, born from her love and optimism, was hope incarnate. For even in their darkest hours, bound by the chains of society, Wonder Woman was a tool for empowerment, reaching far beyond the capabilities of one even as powerful as a demigoddess. Diana had become a myth and legend in parts of the world for her exploits. But she had hidden in the shadows ever since Cheetah had emerged into the world.

Diana was practically running as she swung open the door to her apartment, using much more force than was necessary. Quickly, she rummaged through a box of old mementos until she found the red, blue, and gold-clad armor, still shiny after years of being left in the dust. Along with the armor, Diana was also able to accessorize herself with her signature lasso, shield, and sword. It was when she saw her bracelets that Diana stopped for a moment. As she wore the metal cuffs with delicate hands, Diana remembered the day she had placed meaning to them. A time of naivety and wonder.

The wind breeze was frigid as it swept across the beach, sending a chill down Diana’s spine. She was alone, just as she had been a million times before, finally able to fulfill her lifelong dream. With the Lasso of Truth fastened at her hip and the sword of Athena along with the Themysciran shield, Diana pushed the boat, ready to depart. As she walked into the water, her left hand skimmed the side of the boat. Knee deep in the water, she moved to situate herself inside the boat and raise the sail. Against the calm, Diana paddled with a spare piece of wood, using enough strength to push her a few meters at a time until she was beyond the veil that hid the island. As the wind picked up, Diana repositioned herself to lie down, one hand behind her head as the other reached toward the sky. She had finally done it.

Using her free hand, Diana traced the slow-moving clouds above, making out different shapes and concocting stories and myths behind them as she had once done with Antiope as a child. Drifting her gaze toward her hand, she looked thoughtfully at the Bracelets of Submission that all Themyscirans wore. Being the only child on the island, she had to learn much of what the other women had endured, including her mother.

It was hard for Diana to believe that the women were once outcasts, misfits, banded together by the singular fact that they were women with nothing: no strength, no power, no knowledge. With the pity of the gods, Hera chief among them, they were bestowed an island, safe from the tortures of man. Yet, to live in such a paradise meant they were the subject of jealousy, and though they were safe from humanity, they were still vulnerable to the demigods and all those of the ‘other world’. Heracles had exploited the women and forced them to submit to his pleasure and desire until her mother, Hippolyta finally defeated him. From then on, the women wore these bracelets as a reminder of the cruelties of men and lay a testament to their strength.

But Diana found that too trivial, reliving the past did nothing for the future but advise it. To Diana, not having lived the ordeal, it seemed as though they would use any excuse not to fight back against the ills of humanity. With such strength and knowledge, having felt such pain and suffering countless times before, why would they not fight to protect others who endure it? Thus, Diana thought of the bracelets as chains, binding the women to the island, keeping them prisoners of their pasts. But Diana was young blood, having already dared to do what the others refused, she thought to change the meaning they held for her. These bracelets did not force her to submit to anything, rather these were her Bracelets of Victory.

Upon arriving at the scene of the crime, Diana shouted, “Cheetah, face me.”

She stared at the now eerily empty bridge, with all its injured occupants having escaped a while ago. Cheetah was hidden among the crowd of cars, left in disarray. The hairs on Diana’s arms were slightly raised as she feared her ineptitude. Doubts swirled around her mind as she stood battle-ready, her sword in one hand and the lasso at her side.

“Finally, after all these years, I’ve drawn you out.” Cheetah’s voice echoed within the foggy air. Diana was getting more and more agitated by the minute.

After excruciatingly long minutes, Cheetah finally revealed herself to Diana with a playful smirk stretched across her face. She knew how on edge Diana was feeling at that moment, and she relished it.

Diana watched the feline, move gracefully toward her. She had no fears, no care in the world as she instilled a fearful notion in Diana. With every step, Diana adjusted her grip on the blade, anticipating that she would need to use it soon enough. Yet, Cheetah had stopped a few meters ahead of her with a gleeful smile now.

Diana heard a faint rumble beneath her feet, and before she knew it, a force of a thousand elephants pushed her into the air and held her in a chokehold against the cracking ground. It rammed her body, holding her face in a metallic palm again and again, until the concrete below her broke and she fell into the water, bruised and somewhat bloody. Another failure.

As she felt the water brush over her face, engulfing her in the San Francisco Bay, all Diana could do was close her eyes, hoping that some morsels of her mind would prompt her to fight. She thought of Lucy and Clark, and how she had grown to like them both as friends. She had a life now, one that she didn’t want to lose, but was the motivation enough for her to fight?

The water, a body buoyant in the crystal blue sea of beauty. There was nothing prettier than a beach, paired of course, with an unmistakeable view. Not of the landscape, but rather of the possibilities. With a smile so bright it rivaled the sun and hair as ebony as the darkest of woods, her presence aroused a sense of fulfillment that one could only feel in death. Like a drug, she offered samples of herself to the wandering, reeling them into her embrace until they felt as if their life had been accomplished having finally met a god incarnate. She was a heavenly nightmare, an unknown sin, she was perfection.

Sitting in the sand, legs submerged in the grain as hands sifted through minerals, grazing the surface for a sign of shells, Diana watched the water caress the Earth with every lap of the waves. Her body shook in the heat, her hands uncontrollably twitched, and her heart beat into her chest. On the beach, she wept. The silence was a comfort she had resided within all her life, for even with an unwavering spirit and a limitless ambition, Diana needed solace. Pressure was all she had felt for the first half of her life. Fifteen and told that she had to have a demeanor, a grace, a boldness that matched that of the gods that had created her.

Diana often rested at the beach to recompose her mind, an occurrence that happened quite often recently. It was as if she was undergoing an identity crisis, questioning what she never would have thought to question before. Her existence seemed impossible, for how could the myths and legends said to her coexist with the world of science she had learned to worship? Mysticism and art did not mix with reality and truth, and yet she remained a testament to its possibility. Of course, a curious mind also strays from its jurisdiction, for soon her mind drifted from the paradoxical reality to wonder about the world beyond the water. Stories had never fulfilled her as she had liked, and the hope of a new world had kept her sane. Perfection was what she had strived for; it was expected of her, but she could be free in a new world, in the forbidden world.

That was a dream to be fulfilled some other time, for now, she had to let the aura of perfection haunt her until she could finally achieve it. The trivial tears that trailed down her cheeks had dried due to the burning heat of the beach, leaving her glowing just as she always did. A tortured demigoddess, alas, that was all she was meant to be. Diana stood in the sand, letting part of her leg sink another inch into it as she contemplated heading back to training.

#wonder woman #justice league #superman #original character #character study #batman #bruce wayne #clark kent #dc comics #diana prince #diana of themyscira #hippolyta #diana princess of themyscira #paradise island #gotham #gateway city #angst #self loathing #self discovery

6 notes · View notes