#and i would really prefer not to get involved in other people's lives

[arrgh-whatever]

Hi I have a parent I’ve spent my whole life with who has BPD and I suspect a friend of mine I’ve known for a few years has it too but hasn’t been diagnosed. They go through the highs, lows, restless nights, manic cleaning bouts, getting very angry over small issues resulting in passive aggressive behavior and yelling and many partners that they immediately get very attached to without much time passing which usually ends in them being hurt and going into a deep depression again.

There’s more to their behavior that is nearly identical behavior to my parent which is why I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

I just want them to feel better but don’t know if it’s appropriate for me to or even how to suggest they should be checked for BPD. Any advice including telling me to forget it is fine. I worry for my friend and thank you for reading regardless of the answer.

please don't diagnose people yourself this is unethical

what you can suggest is to seek professional help to improve their mental health

just like in any other situation when a person struggles emotionally

[lord-squiggletits]

Sorry for being negative, I’m just a bit disappointed that after looking through the Earthspark Optimus tags on and off on different occasions weeks apart, it seems like the only thing the fandom has to say about ES Optimus is finger snaps and dad jokes. :/ (And also a handful of people already trying to frame him as a bad person lmao)

Watch for it, when more episodes of Earthspark come out and a conflict with GHOST inevitably arises, people are going to be raging at Optimus for being “stupid” or “self-righteous” or “blind” for working with GHOST and start calling Megatron and/or the Decepticons right about everything because they spent so long focusing on “haha funny dad Optimus” that they forgot about the other parts of Optimus’ character like... idk, not wanting to colonize planets? Not wanting to start wars with entire species that didn’t want to be involved in the war in the first place? Being willing to make compromises even at risk to himself and his own because he wants to treat everyone fairly?

Idk I guess I’m just a bit salty because it genuinely seems like all this fandom wants is “funny dad Optimus” and nothing else. Like you will give them funny dad Optimus who’s ALSO complex and morally gray but people will only ever talk about the former part. And then when Optimus inevitably makes a mistake and bad things happen, people are probably going to treat him as if he’s stupid or an asshole when he ends up not being the Perfect Unproblematic Fave that people seemingly want him to be.

[indierpgnewsletter]

There's Other Kinds Of GM Advice: Theatricality versus Transparency

(This first appeared on the Indie RPG Newsletter)

I find that broadly there are at least two kinds of GM advice – and they have a very different philosophy underpinning them.

The first kind of advice aims at all costs to maintain verisimilitude. It’s a solution that you can implement without breaking the players’ immersion in their characters. This can just be stuff like Matt Colville explaining that if your players are taking too long discussing plans, guess what, orcs attack! We’ve all probably played a game where people were going in circles and not able to decide what to do. If it looks like we’re not able to decide, we’re probably going to be relieved if the GM makes something happen to break the deadlock and prompt us back into the action.

(Historically, this kind of thing was taken to egregious lengths like Gary Gygax saying if players start acting uppity, have a rock fall on their head. It’s mostly gone now but reddit tells me that Cyberpunk Red which came out relatively recently still says something similar.)

The second flavor of advice involves breaking character and talking to your players directly. I know “talk to your players” is a mantra repeated so often that autocorrect suggests it as soon as you type the letter t. At its worst, this advice is vague and unhelpful. We’ve all considered talking frankly to people in our lives, we just find it awkward and hard and annoying. But, but, but – at its best, just describing the problem as you see it and escalating it from a character discussion to a player discussion will make it go away instantly. Like magic. (If you’re not sure what that means: In a previous issue, I discussed Jason Tocci’s excellent advice on escalating conversation in this way.)

And since the theatrical flavour of advice has the weight of history on its side and transparent advice keeps getting boiled down to mantra form, I thought I’d write down some examples of situations and some alternative ways to handle them:

Situation 1: The players are marines discussing whether to dive into the alien lair and recover their stolen engine (their main goal) or go and see if another missing team of marines is okay. There is only 45 minutes left and this is a one shot.

Theatrical: The other marines suddenly come on the radio and say, “hey we’re okay, please complete the mission.”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. There’s 45 minutes left. If we don’t do the alien lair now, we won’t be able to do it at all. Is that fine?”

Situation 2: The players are low-level fantasy nobodies who have a famous wizard friend. They’re about to tangle with some medium-level bad guy and decide to call in their wizard friend.

Theatrical: When the players try to contact her via a telepathic phone call / spell, she sounds breathless and says she’s busy doing something way more important like fighting a dragon.

Transparent: “Hey, folks. If we get the wizard in, she’ll absolutely make this fight a cakewalk. We won’t even need to roll initiative really. Is that what you want? Or would we rather have a fun fight?”

Situation 3: The players were having fun exploring when they meet a cool NPC (an android! an elf! an android elf!) who has this interesting backstory with an urgent, earth-shattering hook. They go along with the android elf because it seems more important but immediately look like they’re having less fun.

Theatrical: Narrate how the android elf meets a group of other android elves and have the elf say, “Hey, now that I have these folks helping me, you can leave it you want!”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. Talking to you as players here, do we want to stick with this whole android elf plot here? It does mean that we won’t do any open-ended exploration. Which would you prefer?” If they want to ditch the elf plot, you could just retcon it entirely or do the theatrical solution.

All of these situations have happened at my table. They’re all relatively low stakes and I think whichever way you handle it, it’ll probably be fine. But that said, some situations absolutely work better when done transparently so if you’ve never tried the transparent way, give it a shot. If immersion matters a lot to you, try it at the end of the session.

/End

PS. The theatrical options often still require the players to willingly suspend their disbelief and go with it. If a player didn’t play along, they might just say “I thought their radios weren’t working, otherwise we could’ve just contacted them before. Why can they suddenly contact us now?” or “Oh, the wizard is fighting a dragon right now. We can totally wait. There’s no reason we need to fight the bad guy right now.” And sometimes I can’t shut off that part of my brain either so I won’t judge. But if there’s a way to sidestep that situation even coming up, I’m going to take it every time.

[astrologydayz]

ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES3

MARS CONJUNCT JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show a great deal of sexual chemistry between 2 people! Sometimes a little2 great?? It can shift at times, love. Sex can be a daily thing here! Jupiter encourages Mars competitiveness, and Mars leans on Jupiter4support/wisdom or just their "happy, go lucky" attitude. They can really enjoy being out together, instead of just staying home. Can sometimes end up doing wild/stupid things 2gether, because they don’t know their limits - UNLESS some serious Saturn/Cap is involved ofc. Look at sign/s/&house/s 2 c how this conjunction exactly plays out!

MARS SQUARE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show sexual attraction yes, but it will cause a loooot of friction. Jupiter being very "U know I'm always right", & the Mars person coming with 40 reasons why the Jupiter person is not right. Endless battle of different beliefs, not coming2an agreement. Jupiter "knows best", &Mars won't “put up with it”. Jupiter can "belittle" Mars, with their "preaching" a lot. Can also show different sexual preferences later in the relationship. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2 be better than Mars, &why Mars won't let Jupiter take a win.

MARS OPPOSITE JUPITER IN SYNASTRY can show chemistry - AT FIRST. The Jupiter person loves to provoke the Mars person - make them go loca/make them feel like there's something wrong with them over the smallest things&Mars acts out by getting mad or aggressive. Can also show that they have different needs, when it comes 2 sexual things after a little while - what they want, need, how they go about it etc. Look at signs+houses2c why Jupiter feels a need2test/play games with the Mars person &why Mars can't use their "higher mind" instead of acting out

Look at your Chiron persona chart 2 c what kind of hurt you've been through/will go through.  Let's say u have SUN CONJUNCT IC IN PISCES in this chart, then that shows us that your father has/father figure/s/ have hurt u VERY deeply, when u were/are at home with them. They would/will hurt u with their "drinking”/"drugs", or "unrealistic expectations" (Pisces). It can also be that your dad wasn't even around/gone a lot, & that's the "scar". It follows u throughout your life, even when it's in your persona chart.

🤍  SUN SQUARE/QUINCUNX MOON in this chart, causes a scar between the way u express your pain through your ego - Sun, and how u really want your pain 2 be seen with your Moon/how u emotionally seek to feel comfortable with showing your pain. They don't work together, before u finally learn how 2 live with whatever self expression you're meant to have. Internal fights with yourself because again, you show your pain one way (through your sun), but that's not the way your moon feels content/safe showing your pain, when it squares your Moon.

SUN TRINE MOON in this chart can have an easy time "healing" their Chiron with the way they express themselves (Sun), and with how they find a balance between pain and healing. They can even help other people, because of their ease, 2 find a way 2 stay sane, while going through pain - (Trine). But as I always say. I don't believe u ever "fully" heal your Chiron, so ofc it's not always good with this aspect either. Chiron is pain, and most people do not heal their Chiron. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I’ve already said this on my old blog, but if you’re interested in seeing your husband/Wife - future husband/wife = LOOK AT YOUR GROOM ASTEROID - 5129 PERSONA CHART/BRIEDE ASTEROID - 19029 PERSONA CHART JUNO PERSONA CHART shows the people u truly commit 2 here in life - people who doesn't want 2 marry - their folks shows up here<33 - it also shows u how, & what u need 2 commit<33. Look at ADRASTEA asteroid - 239 PERSONA CHART 2c the traumas u couldn't escape/can’t escape. If you're a WOMAN, & a man has/or men have caused u trauma/sexual trauma, please look at your LILITH PERSONA CHART - 1181).

Look at ABUNDANTIA asteroid - 151) PERSONA CHART 2 c how, &where you receive abundance/where you’re “lucky”. Look at your ANGEL asteroid - 11911) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you're the most "protected"/where people can't fuck with u. It also shows u your "job” here - “contracts” you’ve made, before coming here. Look at your MONY asteroid - 7782) PERSONA CHART 2c where u can make a buck/Where u will, or won't have problems with making/getting money. Look at your JACK LONDON asteroid - 2625) PERSONA CHART 2 c where you'll get the biggest “wtf, is this really happening to me, moments”. Good or bad.

MARS CONJUNCT/SQUARE/QUINCUNX NEPTUNE can show a person doing drugs💊/getting high🍁/or drinking a lot🥃. Can love getting high/drunk, bc they love getting away from "reality"/loves "being in their own world". Hating being "present" here&now. "Reality sucks sometimes"💋. VENUS OPPOSITE ASC/CONJUNCT DSC typically gets very beautiful romantic partners throughout life, & experiences very loving relationships/marriages. They themselves can also be very loving towards their close partnerships - business relationships even/or just towards their very close ones - like lovers/close friends or family members. Relationships with models/artistic/entertaining/or creative people = something u see very often here2. They don't really like to fight/argue with the ones they hold close, but would rather just be in loving relations. Unless Venus is afflicted, ofc.

JUPITER CONJUNCT NEPTUNE usually has some top dollar insights into what the fuck we're doing here. They get "downloads", without them knowing exactly why they suddenly know something/they just know they're right in their belief/s. They can be really into spirituality, "mystical things", & "things people won't always believe in". Can be quite “protected” from somewhere2. People can also feel "small" next 2 this individual, cuz they're typically seen as this "larger than life" person. "Lucky2be around them".

THANKS4READING LOVE!!!

APPRECIATE U, ALWAYS🖤.

[thedeafzoologist]

How hearing aids work

This is intended as a writing guide, but anyone is welcome to read it to learn more about the different aids used by deaf people.

Please remember that these are based off my experience as somebody who was born deaf in the uk. Other deaf people will have vastly different experiences, and I would encourage you to look up other guides like this

Hearing aids are not always available, particularly if you live in a country without free healthcare. They can be very expensive, both to buy and to take care of

If your character is a deaf child or young teenager, they will need new hearing aid moulds every so often as their ears grow. This only involves going to the hospital for a few hours, and isn't really a big deal. You can get different colours of mould, sometimes sparkly ones, or with tiny embedded designs

Hearing aids cannot get wet, so we take them off to shower, swim, etc. We also take them off to sleep

Hearing aids do not fix hearing loss, and many deaf people still need to lipread and use sign language while wearing them. Please don't try to compare them to glasses!

Some people choose not to wear hearing aids at all, which is a perfectly reasonable and valid decision. Sometimes it is too overwhelming to be exposed to so much noise, sometimes people just prefer to sign or use other non-verbal communication

Not all people with hearing aids know or use sign language

If your character is wearing hearing aids for the first time, they will probably become a lot clumsier while they get used to it

That's all I can think of for now! To any hearing writers reading this, I'm glad you're making an effort to write diverse characters thoughtfully and respectfully!

[erideights]

Little pieces here and there (4)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Parts: one, two, three, five

Word Count: 4,2K, i should ask for forgiveness

Warnings: flirting, pinning, (FUCKING) FINALLY, unprotected sex, buggy detaching parts of his body during sex like the freak he is

A/N: i've been building this moment so long that i was, once more, inspired by god to make this chapter the longest ever, i hope you all enjoy and that the awaited smut doesn't disappoint and delivers (let me know, anxiety is killing me, love u all, see you in chapter 5, the final (until season 2) of this series) (again i'm really really sorry for any grammatical mistake!)

Day 5 after what happened during the Arlong Park fight, or what is the same for her = 5 AAP, (Y/N) is sure about three things:

1. With the choice of leaving her mercenary life behind, comes her new position as the ''strategist'' of the Straw Hat crew, a group of very unique people that after a couple of stops along the way, would arrive at the Grand Line.

2. Their next destination is Loguetown, which excited her; she loved the city, she never turned down an assignment that involved working there. They would arrive in a couple of days and stock up on everything they would need before beginning the greatest adventure of their lives.

3. Buggy's nose was real. Very real. And she missed him. Just a bit.

To be more precise, that bit of tension and constant sarcasm around her. She knew he was a pain in the ass, and that his staying on the ship wouldn't have lasted much more than an extra day and a half because one of her crewmates -Zoro- would have unceremoniously thrown him overboard anytime.

But it was really fun for her, so from time to time and in particular, when she passes by the helm, she finds herself remembering that annoying talking head and smiling a bit.

And so, after an entire week, they arrive at the famous Loguetown, the tomb of the most famous pirate of all time, a refuge for mercenaries, pirates and bounty hunters from all corners of the East Blue! No matter what, everything your heart could desire -except for the One Piece- you could find there. Jewelry, weapons, food, alcohol, a good bed to sleep and rest in, or other darker, macabre and adult types of entertainment.

Ah, what a city. Anyone could get lost among its endless alleys packed with people. That's why when the crew splits up, they do it in pairs, making sure that Zoro, who they had already discovered, lacked complete and utter sense of direction, wouldn't be left alone and lost among the city's infinite tide of pirates. (Y/N) is the one who goes with him, both heading to the largest armory in the city to replace his destroyed katanas while Sanji and Luffy take care of the food, and Usopp and Nami go around to do… she doesn’t really remember what. Trying clothes she believes.

She must say, however, that this swordsman is not exactly the most talkative person in the world even though their friendship has considerably grown and deepened during their little journey. Apart from sharing small notes about the city, how many people there are, or what they should do, they don't really talk that much; in her case, because she is absorbed in her surroundings, soaking in every possible detail. Him, silent because his reputation as a pirate hunter is famous around all the East Blue, and of course, in Loguetown there are only pirates. He prefers to stay alert to avoid future conflicts and have a peaceful morning. Not for him, but for his crew.

That's why when a gloved hand flies out of a dark alley, and violently covers the girl's mouth and nose, preventing her from screaming, while another grabs her by the waistband of her pants and yanks her back, forcing her to get in said alley, Zoro doesn't even notice, he continues calmly walking, minding his own fucking business, heading to only God knows where.

Farewell, mosshead.

In a blink, (Y/N)'s back collides with a strong torso, and with her heart in her mouth and adrenaline running wild in her veins, she stretches her right hand to reach the knife she has in the holster on her right thigh to destroy the asshole that dares to try to steal from her. Or murder her. Or that's her idea until she hears a familiar voice murmuring an “I got you” behind her, before turning her head and discovering the biggest, reckless buffoon she's ever met.

Buggy.

Eyes wide open, she screams against his palm, pissed off by the way he scared the shit outta her. Extremely angry, she yanks his hand away from her mouth, turns her entire body around and looks at him with what he would swear, is the most annoyed expression he ever saw in his entire life. Before the clown can excuse himself and his lack of manners, just as she begins to see that stupid smile appear on his stupid face, she slaps him so hard that for a second, he thinks his head will detach from the rest of his body.

Then, and pushed by an outburst of passion that comes out of she doesn’t even understand where, a mixture of adrenaline, surprise, her desire to kill him with her own hands and the -sexual- frustration with which he abandoned her the last time, she grabs his vest, pulls and kisses him. Again, all before Buggy can even react.

The kiss is brief. Really quick, but intense as hell, and she manages to leave him breathless. Yes, him. Only him. Because the moment they separate, when (Y/N) pushes him back, she spits out a heartfelt “You're an idiot!”

What a fucking rollercoaster. He doesn't even remember what he was about to say anymore to greet her. He's in fact, too stunned to speak. Did she slapped, kissed, and insulted him in less than a minute? Oh, she's a freak, just like him. The only difference between them is that she knows how to pretend the opposite. But she can't hide it from him. Not to the king of the freaks.

''I missed you too, baby'' he admits with an amused smile, moving his jaw a little from side to side, as well as his neck; that woman is stronger than he expected.

''Yeah? Because I really didn’t.’’ she spits once again, taking a deep breath. ''Liar'' he retorts, eyeing her up and down. ''Liir'' she instantly mocks, still recovering from the tsunami of emotions that just passed through her. ''What the fuck are you doing in Loguetown?''

''I came looking for my sorry excuses for a supporting cast,'' his crew. Were they still alive? Would have sworn Zoro destroyed all of them but who knew. ''and turns out I found the perfect, shiny, little new supporting star for my show'' he adds, as flirtatious as always around her, approaching (Y/N) again.

''Oh, I feel flattered but as I already told you, I don't like being in the spotlight. I relate way more to the shadow around it.”

He rolls his eyes but nods in understanding, reaching out to grab the girl's waist. ''Mhm. What about a private show, then? We have a play to finish, If my memory's not betraying me.'' He whispers honeyed, closing the distance between the two just a bit more. Cannot stop himself, neither he wants to. He knew as soon as he recognized her on the street, he would not let her go without putting order in their outstanding matters.

She’s about to add her usual sarcastic and smartass remark saying something among the lines of ‘without inviting me to dinner first?’ but she chooses not to. Just for once. ''I could agree to that.'' The girl admits, tilting a smile. ''Not here, tho.'' Pressing the clown's chest with her index finger, signaling for him to stay still, (Y/N) runs her tongue over her upper teeth, taking a couple of seconds to think.

In the end, she raises an eyebrow, and with an amused smile, she asks: “Do you trust me?”

''Not in a million years''

''I knew you would say that.'' She still takes one of his hands, that was still on her waist, and starts walking quite fast towards the other end of the alley, pulling him with her. He doesn’t object at all, despite not knowing where the hell is she taking him, and simply follows her lead, unconsciously squeezing her hand to not to lose her in the crowd.

Not many minutes later, after climbing some stairs and turning a few streets, there they are, in front of a beautiful tavern with windows decorated with ornate dark wooden planks, designing patterns of small squares, offering a beautiful view of its interior. The building was not one of the largest in the area, but it was not one of the smallest either. She knew from experience* that the floors above the tavern were rooms rented to the pickiest pirates. They had enough space to rest comfortably after a long voyage at sea, with a good bed and several locks on the doors and windows to prevent intrusions, attempts at robbery or murder, or a drunken idiot making a mistake and entering the wrong room.

*She knows this because a couple of years ago she needed to sneak in during the night to steal a jade seal from a famous pirate captain, who had previously stolen it from the temple it belonged to a few months before. Getting in wasn't easy at all.

Walking to the side of the building, where the windows of the rooms can be seen better, (Y/N) looks right, then left, making sure there’s no one nosing around.

‘’Here we are.’’ She announces, looking at him with a devilish smirk on her face. ''Now pay attention, here's my brilliant, unique and exceptional plan. It will absolutely blow your mind.’’ He cracks a genuine smile after hearing how she praised herself. She sounded almost like him. 

“First step: Throw your head up to that window over there,” she points said window with her index finger, two floors above their heads, “and tell me if there’s someone sleeping inside. Or if you see any sign someone rented the room.’’

Confusion is the feeling that crosses his beautiful face for a second, looking at her with a raised eyebrow and lips pressed into a small incredulous smile. She wants to sneak through the window without being seen and not pay a single berry? Exactly what a true pirate would do. He was starting to fall in love with her.

Without a second thought, his head separates from his body and floats to the open window, slightly sneaking in to check as she asked. And as fast as it goes up, it returns back down, just like a yo-yo. ''Clear'' He confirms, amused. 

''Perfect, second step: now throw your right hand, same window, and leave it there.'' And he does as she says, no questions asked, because he could not do otherwise. Because he wouldn't want to do otherwise. He was not made to follow orders and still, deep down, he knows he would follow hers. Or better said… he would follow her around. She was, maybe, not a theatre kid like him, but to his eyes, she shines brightly.

Not as much as him, tho.

Once Buggy's right hand waits patiently on the window frame, (Y/N) grabs the clown by the shoulders and strategically positions him under the window. Then she takes his left hand, bringing it forward. "Third step: with this hand you propel me into the air, with the other you grab me and you help me sneak in."

''And the final step?'' Getting very close to his face, the girl rubs her nose against his and whispers, voice low and lustful, ''You float to the window and meet me inside for that private show you mentioned before.'' He already knew the goal of that whole improvised plan, but he almost purrs when he hears her say it.

Then Buggy throws her upwards without prior notice, way stronger than she expected, and a sweet, genuine laugh escapes (Y/N)'s lips at the lack of gravity and that distinctive tickle in her stomach that rises to her throat. Not even when he uses that floating hand to catch her and guide her to the room, her feet on solid ground again, she’s able to stop laughing.

She expected this whole forbidden getaway to be entertaining, but not so, so fun. There was no point in denying the obvious: the complicity, the chemistry between them is criminal, asphyxiating, palpable, and so, so /real/. It's not only about physical attraction and sexual tension anymore, they were actually really compatible, which could only, and is already, making things one hundred times better.

As soon as she's inside, still giggling a bit, she's quick to reach the door and securely close it, fitting the bolt with a pair of lockpicks that she had on her. On the other hand, as soon as Buggy gets inside the room he chooses not to lose a single second, because every second he wastes is one less that he can enjoy that fantastic woman who is driving him crazy; before she can return to the center of the room, he has already recovered his right hand, thrown his hat to the floor along with his coat, and has rushed towards her, kissing her again, this time without a hurry, but voraciously, passionately, with the irresistible yearning he has been suffering for almost two weeks. He wants-- no, he needs to make her his. The desire making his blood boil. Her warmth, her smell, the taste of her lips-- even her laugh. It was too much. Too intoxicating.

(Y/N) welcomes him, sighing deeply against his lips, tilting her head a little, melting in the kiss, her hands flying to his hair to take out the bandana and pull at his blue locks, to which Buggy responds by grabbing her from the back of her thighs, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed, near the window. He lets some of his weight fall onto her, loosely holding himself on his knees on the mattress. She closes her legs around his waist, pressing him even a little closer against her body, excitement coursing through her veins like poison.

All that little game with the clown was just flirting, huh? Yeah, sure.

For a minute, everything is kisses, stealing each other's breaths, strong caresses on arms, legs, and back over clothes. There are bites at each other's lips, seemingly incapable of getting enough of the other, the attraction between them driving them both so absolutely insane than getting some distance to get naked seems impossible.

“Baby,” raspily, he press his crotch between her legs to let her feel his growing erection under his pants. ''I suggest you getting naked before I rip your clothes off by myself.''

She moans in response, wetter, more aroused by every second passing, unable to even think about playing hard to get this time. ''Aye aye captain'' she manages to whisper back mischievously, separating her hands from his body in order to pull her own shirt up and throw it somewhere in the room.

He grunts, but makes the titanic effort to separate himself from her, standing on his knees in front of her laying body, licking his lips, breathing heavily, eyes half-closed, already fucking her in his thoughts. Of course, seeing her undress for him is quite a show.

After her shirt comes the button and zipper of her pants. Although before getting rid of these, she pulls the scarf around the clown's neck, forcing him to lean over her again, and after it goes his vest. Given the girl's haste, he lets escape a hoarse laugh that reverberates inside his chest and decides to help her with whatever’s left between them; shoes, pants, gloves, and underwear.

''You're gorgeous'' he breathes, taking in her image in front of him. “You’re almost making me feel guilty for what I'm about to do.”

Before she could even ask, or threaten with a ‘don't you fucking dare’ or something among those lines, one of Buggy's hands flies to her own, and pins her wrists against the bed with such force, she hisses, heart in her throat, deafening her ears. She remembers herself, this was all too good to be true, and that damn clown promised to make her beg. He wasn't going to forgive her so easily, was he?

Her fault.

''Sweetheart, open your beautiful legs for me, will you?'' Returning to the bed, the clown settles between the girl's thighs, running -with the only hand still attached to his body-, one of her legs, from the knee to the hip bone in a slow and tortuous caress.

''Now, I'm pretty sure I warned you about what's about to happen last time you took advantage of my... uncomfortable, kinda-hostage situation on your stupid little boat. When you decided to push me to my limit.''

She is too aroused, too turned on to think clearly, her mind clouded by the same rush of hormones that’s making her incredibly wet. Having him now naked between her legs, threatening her in that low tone of voice, exposed helplessly in front of him, doesn't help at all; it is, as a matter of fact, making things way worse.

''You wanted me to beg, right?’’

''Exactly. It's that easy.'' After a couple of strokes, he grabs his erection and runs it slowly through her wet folds, both of them barely containing a moan in their throats at the sensation. He, perhaps, better than her, because (Y/N) involuntarily pushes her hips upwards, trying to get some more. ''Ah-ah. Want me to fuck you, sweetheart? Just beg for it. Beg for /me/.''

Being the proud woman she is, it's not exactly easy for her to seriously beg for something. Joking? Of course, any time, even sarcastically, but something is telling her, her sixth sense probably, he won't settle with a sarcastic remark and dove eyes.

Closing her eyes tightly, she lets herself be carried away by pure and absolute desperation every time he runs his erection through her, lubricating himself with her fluids. He is silent, already tasting the sweet victory he’ll feel when he manages to break her and make her beg. Although this doesn't happen as quickly as he would have preferred.

''(Y/N)'' He warns, and it's the first time he says her name out loud. The first time she hears him, with his raspy voice and his beautiful accent, pronouncing her real name instead of some compliment or silly nickname to call her.

Welcome, breaking point.

''Beg--'' 

''I need you,'' she interrupts him in a low whimper, lifting her hips. ''Bugs-- Buggy, I need you to fuck me. Now.”

Usually, it's moments like this particular one in which the clown enjoys recreating himself, making others beg a little more, -sex, mercy, forgiveness- doesn’t matter-, taking his good time listening to her moans and cries of desperation. But he can't help it, the second he hears the girl call him by his name, telling him how much she needs him, and that silly attempt of an order at the end, he knows it’s game over, and he decides to give her exactly what she wants, penetrating her suddenly the last time he runs slowly through her folds. A sweet moan of relief and pleasure escapes from (Y/N) chest along with a "Fuck, Buggy--". From him, a hoarse grunt. A shiver runs down their spines, and quickly, Buggy recovers his other hand, freeing her from his grip, to aggressively pull both of her thighs to bring her closer to him, and begins to thrust hard, all shreds of self-control escaping from his body lightspeed.

He pushes into her as deep as he can in no time, burying himself between her legs, face hidden in the crook of her neck, hands keeping her legs open, close to his hips.

She doesn't know what she likes more, the erratic sound of his breathing and panting in her ear, the desperation with which his whole body seems to search for hers or each penetration sending an ecstasy shock through her nerves, but she soon becomes a puddle of sweet moans, whimpers and breathing as heavy as his, one hand pulling hard at his blue hair, the other resting on his abdomen, nails digging slightly his skin with each thrust.

''Oh god, Bugs--’’

''Moan my name louder baby,'' he breathes before biting her shoulder, leaving the mark of his teeth imprinted on her skin. ''I want them to catch us. I want them hearing you scream my name.”

And she does. She moans his name again, just not as loud as he wants. Which means there is something, something he can do better. Something to push her to her limit, to make her a believer, and make her /his/.

Summoning all his willpower, and not before one last, violent thrust, the clown stops and suddenly pulls out of her. (Y/N) complains with a loud cry, opening her eyes to ask what the fuck is he actually doing, how dares he to stop. Thank God, she doesn't have time to threaten him before he speaks.

''On your knees.'' And of course she obliges, on all fours, the simple idea making her completely lose her mind. Only thing, Buggy doesn't intend to keep her like this for a long time; as soon as she exposes herself for him again, he buries himself once more inside her as deep as he can and starts thrusting again, slowly but strongly, ending each thrust with a loud slam. This time, both hands separate from his body, one reaching for her delicate neck, which he circles with his fingers and presses to lightly cut off her breathing. The other one flies to her mouth, pushing between her lips with two fingers that she soaks in her saliva.

(Y/N), unable to articulate a single complaint, sucks, bites and licks them, muffling against them every sound that escapes her throat.

A pleasure shock, like a lightning bolt, forces her to arch her back the moment that same hand flies to her clitoris and starts masturbating it, overstimulating her.

Buggy is really determined to make her his, to not let her forget about him, to become the legitimate protagonist of each of her erotic fantasies, so to finish driving her crazy, the hand he has around her neck lifts her up, pulling her until he forces her back against his torso in a beautiful reference to the day they met and the first time he felt that magnetic attraction inevitably pulling him towards her.

''So. Much. Better,” he manages to whisper between grunts and raspy moans, surrounding her abdomen with one of his arms to keep her in place, close to his chest, sacrificing penetrating her as deeply as he would like but without caring in the slightless because he knows, she is quickly reaching her orgasm. He can feel it in the way her walls contract around his cock, in the beating of her heart in her throat against his hand, and in how her hands reach for anything, trying to support herself; in this case, his arm around her, nails scratching his skin.

''C'mon baby, cum for me.'' He groans, refusing to fall headfirst to his own orgasm because he doesn't plan to finish before her. Under other circumstances he would have done it, he has never been the kind of generous lover who thinks of his partner's pleasure before his own. This woman is breaking some old habits and patterns just being the way she is. And he doesn't care at all.

A few more thrust, the lack of enough oxygen in her lungs and that wonderful pressure on her clitoris, and (Y/N) explodes in an orgasm so strong she begins to breathless moan Buggy’s name over and over again like a mantra, which obviously feeds his ego so, so much, it ends up sending him over the same edge, moaning her name under his breath, resting his forehead on her shoulder, hugging her body tightly as they ride their climax.

                                        …

''Told you I would make you beg'' he cracks a devilish smirk, wrapping his right arm around her shoulders when he finally lies on the mattress.

''Yeah'' she giggles, although sarcastically, recovering by the second, enough clarity to recompose her own ego. ''You also told me you would make me find the One Piece without going to the Grand Line and I cannot see it anywhere yet.''

What a subtle way of asking for a second round, he thinks to himself, clearly pleased -instead of offended- for the way his smile stretches even more, looking intently at her.

“You're right.” He would have liked to lie on the bed for a while, getting back some energy and attack again, but damn him if he ever dares to reject a provocation as bold as that one. He wouldn't forgive himself.

Getting out of bed almost as quickly as he lay down a few minutes ago, Buggy cracks his neck from side to side, and taking one of the chairs next to the table in the room, he turns it in the air, leaving it pointing towards the girl.

He then sits down, leaning on the backrest, relaxed, exhaling an erotic, slow sigh as he exaggeratedly separates his legs in a clear invitation for her to come closer and sit on them.

"What did you say the other day? About liking a man with his entire body, capable of fucking you in his lap and making you scream his name?"

[faetreides]

Modern coryo whos trying to sorta maybe manipulate his gf by being obsessed and then not reading her texts for 3 days but the gf is literally the same so it’ll be like

r: “heyyy” and then a day later he replies “heyaaa” and then it goes on like that for a week until he cracks and sends her 15 messages in the span of 4 minutes

cw: feminization/fem label “gf” but the reader is still only intended to be afab, the ask has she/her pronouns but i don’t use them in the writing, manipulation and toxic behavior, typical coryo/modern!coryo warnings, love bombing, not canon to the main au, black cat reader ish, reader has a shower in their dorm bc i say so 🤫, male masturbation

Now Coryo wouldn’t do this during your relationship, despite his best attempts to play it cool, you make him panic and he’s immediately resorting to rich boy love bombing (trips, those ridiculously expensive boxed roses, 999999999 rounds of oral on his yacht, a summer house, etc.) followed by baby trapping. He’s not stupid enough to try something like that deeper into your relationship, for him it’s about making sure the foundation is as solid as possible and not shaking it up.

This would really only happen before you even start dating, after he’s bumped into you in the dorms enough times to wear you down into giving him your number. He’s still in his “i have to the most mysterious person alive” mindset and he hasn’t quite shed the fuckboy persona yet. He doesn’t seek anybody out or anything, it was love at first sight with you unfortunately, he’ll just imply that that you’re another contact in a long list. (You’re the only one in his favorites 💀)

You’re smart enough to be wary, too involved in academics and proving yourself to go sniffing around Coriolanus Snow. You don’t really talk to a lot of people, and you’re not interested in a swarm of meaningless interactions. You’re just grateful that he stopped calling you so much, learning that you very much prefer texting. He’s the king of the “hey u up?” text, and you have the flattest look on your face as you reply “Yes.” and turn your phone face down. Exchanges like happen over and over.

Does your heart flutter when he insists on walking you to class and pecking your cheek at the door? Yes but you’ll roll your eyes and make a big deal out of wiping it off. Are you intrigued by how much he hauls ass to get you your coffee order whenever he senses that you need it (because he can, he’s like spiderman but lame)? Well, yes, but he must be playing some kind of game with you. Has a cliche bet with his fraternity brothers over your assumed virginity maybe. The more you’re determined to not fall for it, the more you find yourself slipping as the days go by.

Just when you turn your head when he pecks your cheek outside the lecture hall, expecting the gesture more than dreading it, he gives you a blank stare and turns on his heel. You take a second to blink and then shrug, it’s no skin off you back if Coriolanus decides to be normal for once. You definitely do not have a bit of a scowl throughout the entire session. (he nearly lost it when you didn’t react at the lack of a kiss, he kicked the wall and almost broke his foot)

He’s back to the “heyy” texts at random hours, responding to your “Hey.” that came a day later two days after that. He’s screaming into his pillow and pacing his grandma’am’s gardens, glaring at the staff pruning the shrubs. Coryo would rather die than admit defeat though, so he hardens his resolve. You’ll break eventually. You on the other hand are living normally, slurping ramen and working on essays. You’ve learned not get your hopes up over a pipe dream, the idea that someone like him would genuinely care about you being so laughable that you get over it rather quickly. You may be from different economic classes, but a man’s attention is never a necessity. That an he’s far from the only trust fund kid in the world.

A week later, your phone goes off in the middle of the night. You step out of the shower and dry yourself off, walking over to your bed and picking it up. To your surprise, the notification from Coriolanus isn’t another dry message, it’s several videos. They all look dark and fuzzy, ranging from 30 seconds to 10 minutes. In some of the thumbnails you can see flashes of bare skin. You click on the first one and are immediately faces with Coriolanus Snow’s sweaty abs.

You’re frozen as he eventually splatters jizz all over them, the camera work is shaky and the flash exposes too much for your liking. You can see his abdominal muscles twitch in the aftermath of his orgasm. He drags his fingers through his own cum and smears it over the camera, giving you a pov of what it’d be like to have your face covered in it.

Your phone chimes again.

Stalker: turn the sound on for the rest ;) see u at the car wash next friday, babe ❤️

You block him (after you save the videos and check the charge on your vibrator).

[captain-mj]

Wrote this at a laundromat so I hope you guys like it

Ghost had just moved to Scotland to get away from everything. His family's murders stayed a constant thought in his mind, but more than that, he didn't want anyone still loyal to Roba to find him. After wiping them off the map, he decided to do something he never thought possible.

Chose himself.

So he made his way to Scotland where no one would know Simon Riley and he bought a house and lived next to a small town so he could go over and get whatever supplies he needed before coming to hide again.

That's where he met him.

A local man who apparently was involved in the church and was in general a great person.. Most people referred to him as Soap, which Ghost thought was a very strange name, but he had also heard MacTavish which seemed more realistic.

The man saw Ghost, probably decided he was emotionally vulnerable, and decided to skulk around him. He asked, begged, pleading for Ghost to join his congregation.

Ghost turned him down each time, though he did love to see a pretty man beg. Once, he lifted lifted his mask, let him see the Glasgow smile cut into his cheeks. He hoped that Soap would assume gang member or miscreant and leave him alone, but it seemed to spur him on.

Soap MacTavish, savior of big buff men. Patron saint of being annoying.

Ghost started... watching him. The way he moved. His smile, just a little too wide with teeth a little too sharp.

He was... handsome. Seemingly kind. But Ghost was like a stray. He didn't trust affection and he wanted to keep it that way. No matter how honeyed Soap made his words or how kind the scraps he offered. Something about the man was unsettling.

Soap simply knocked on his door one day at dusk. Ghost only answered when he had his mask on. He had some kind of food in containers. "Hey! Several people I know made me these and gifted them to me, but I don't think I'll be able to eat all they gave me. Thought you might appreciate them. I know I'd be homesick, in such a new area."

Ghost stared at him, hands itching. "How did you know where I lived?"

"i knew the people who lived here before. Laid them to rest myself. Saw their last rites and all that. No other empty house around for miles."

"Other people know...?"

"Doubt it. Most don't think of you too much." Soap sniffed, looking around. "I assumed that's what you'd prefer."

"It is. Thanks."

Soap smiled. "I'll keep it between us." He kept standing there. Just waiting.

"I'm not going to invite you inside."

Immediately, those soft lips turned into a pouty frown. "At least take the desserts. I really do have no use for them."

Ghost didn't want to disappoint him for some reason, so he awkwardly took the food. "Okay. Address between us right?"

"Of course. With God as my witness." Soap grinned and left.

If Ghost would've thought about it, he'd made him promise to never come back as well. But he did not do that.

He went into his kitchen and opened the container.

Cranachan. Ghost had heard of it. The King of Scottish Desserts.

He grabbed a spoon and brought a bite to his mouth slowly. There was a thick cream with oats and raspberries. When he put a bite in his mouth, he could taste the honey and whiskey.

It was so good.

Ghost dug in on his couch. He was pretty sure this was supposed to be something he'd eat off for a few days, but he devoured all of it in one sitting. There was more of the raspberries sauce and Ghost found himself licking it from his fingers. A warmth settled in his chest from it.

Maybe Soap wasn't terrible.

Ghost got ready to start his routine of checking all of the windows and doors, but his couch suddenly felt so comfy. He felt his eyes start to close, the warmth spreading more.

For the first time since being a kid, Ghost slept all the way through the night with no nightmares.

Ghost cleaned up from the night before, feeling comfy. He noticed one of his windows was unlocked and chided himself for being so forgetful. After two sweeps of the house, he was sure no one was in his house and nothing was missing.

The dishes sat on the counter, suddenly suspicious. The idea of there being something in it was preposterous.

Ghost cleaned the dishes. "He's a fucking poster boy for good. You're being paranoid."

As time went on, he noticed things. Always on his porch or right outside. Tapping or animal noises or sometimes visions of someone right outside. The wonderful night of sleep was the last time he slept for a while.

Soap showed up again. A cross necklace Ghost couldn't remember seeing was around his neck. He looked apologetic as he had more of the delicious treat. "Sorry. It's raspberry season so everyone is making it and... well... I don't really have much of a sweet tooth."

Ghost looked at him coldly. "And you're bringing it to me? No orphans to give it to? Children to target?"

It was the first time Soap had looked upset at him. Ghost was a military man. He dealt with that constantly back in his troop. But for some reason, Soap's unhappiness got under his skin.

"No, Ghost. I just... thought you might be feeling lonely. Ya probably think I'm naive. Small town guy, always trying to talk to you..." He looked embarrassed. "Never met someone from Manchester. And before you ask, I figured it out by your accent."

Ghost looked at him for a few minutes before looking away to pretend he wasn't affected by him. "I don't."

"Gotcha... I can just... take the food."

"No. I'll still take that." Ghost quickly grabbed the home made food, noticing Soap's flash of a smile. He bit his lip as he cradled the food. "Look, I'm not a good guy. Definitely not someone you need around you."

Soap looked at him sadly. "Even outside of my faith, I still think all people deserve someone. I just... want to try to make you feel less lonely."

Ghost sighed. "Alright. Come in."

Soap got so excited. He carefully walked inside and glanced around, moving his weight back and forth between each foot.

Ghost sat on the chair he had. "Haven't exactly bought much furniture. But you're allowed to get comfy."

Soap grabbed the couch and smiled brightly. There was something about him. He looked at him and his eyes... had a shimmer to it.

Ghost paused, holding the bowl.

"Are you going to put it away? Or eat it right now?" Soap asked conversationally. He batted his eyelashes.

Ghost gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "Gonna put it away for now."

"I see. Have you been sleeping well? This place seems... so isolated. I don't think I could ever quite get a good sleep."

Ghost couldn't think of a good answer besides the truth. "Sleep has never came easy to me."

Soap frowned, batting his eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry. I hope it gets easier for you." He seemed so genuine. So sweet.

Ghost shrugged. "Thank you..."

They started to slip into rather easy banter, but he found his eyes getting heavier.

Soap got up and picked his way over. For a moment, Ghost was afraid. He almost lashed out, afraid. But he didn't touch him. He leaned in, eyes glowing against the backdrop of everything around them. "Sleep well, Ghost."

Ghost fell asleep on his chair. Soap locked the door on the way out but he didn't lock the windows.

Ghost found Tommy's photo album and went through them. He looked at the various photos of him and his family and he found himself missing them again. They looked so cute. So perfect. He left them on his coffee table, messy and covering every inch.

Joseph looked up at him, bright smiling face.

Simon was holding him. Blond curls that he spent too much time keeping bleached. No scarring.

He felt like he was going crazy as things... moved around his house. Things moved right out of the corner of his eyes. So he started preparing.

Guns were tucked into every hiding place he could. Knives even more so. He started to work out again for the first time in a few weeks. Luckily he hadn't lost too much of his physique.

Ghost eventually found himself eating the cranachan. He slept well. It was unsettling.

Right before dawn, Soap arrived at his house. The clouds were churning together but there was still some sunlight streaming through. "I brought coffee. Are you a coffee person?"

Ghost wasn't usually, but rather than deal with Soap's sad look again, he took the drink. He sipped it and found himself pleasantly surprised at how good it was.

Soap smiled. "Have any plans?"

"Gonna make breakfast... wanna join?" Why did he say that??

Soap smiled and quickly walked in. "I'd love to."

Ghost started to cook. He had been trying to learn more cooking lately so hopefully it wasn't too bad.

Soap looked thankful when he set it down and started to eat. They did so in basically silence. The cross necklace kept catching the light so he kept staring at it. When he lifted his gaze to look at his eyes, they made direct eye contact.

Soap's eyes. They were so dark. Like a shark.

Ghost felt for the gun under his side table. He tried to keep up conversation.

"Don't grab that gun, Simon."

Ghost paused what he was doing, watching the cross necklace sway where it sat. "What?"

Soap sighed. "Don't be like that. The gun your hand is on. Don't grab it." His nails clicked against the table. Too long. Too alarming. "Be a good boy, Simon."

Ghost stared at him, debating what could be done here.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"What are you?"

"Not a danger to you." Soap answers a little pedantically. "I promise." His canines. They were long and curved.

Ghost glanced at the coffee. "You were drugging me."

Soap hummed. "No. More of a... side effect of my presence. You feeling anything right now?"

Ghost could feel something tugging at the edge of his consciousness but nothing too severe. "What do you want?"

Soap swallowed. "I'm hungry. Starving."

"You saw me up here. Being vulnerable. And decided you could fuc-"

"No. Not quite. I... I know you could keep a secret."

Ghost blinked, realizing the situation. "You're... asking."

Soap looked pained. "I am. A... deal. I keep everyone away. Tell them whatever I need so they leave you alone and I get to..." His eyes trailed to Ghost's throat.

"How bad is the feeding?"

"Not bad! I take about as much blood as a blood donation. Easy peasy. I'll even bring you food for recovery just please..."

Ghost undid the top button of his shirt and Soap looked ready to wiggle out of his seat. The poor man was salivating.

Why was he doing this?

it was stupid.

Idiotic.

Self-sacrificing.

The mask hit the table.

"Go for it."

Soap leapt over the table and sat in his lap. Teeth sank into his throat as he held him, holding him tight. They pressed together and Ghost could feel the unsettling chill that came from Soap.

He grabbed the table, almost white knuckling it.

Pain radiated from where he was being stabbed into and he felt himself go lightheaded. Soap's ass was pressed firmly to his lap though and it felt...

pleasurable.

Slowly he sank into it, feeling Soap take his fill.

His pretty boy thanked him, lips bright red from blood. "Thank you. Thank you. You're perfect. My angel from heaven."

Their lips touched and Ghost groaned softly.

Soap panted in his ear. "I'll be good. Promise. Take care of you." His claws sank into Ghost who was wondering how bad the situation he landed himself was.

[hamsterclaw]

Legend

The man you help one day insists that he owes you everything.

Pairing: Jungkook x F! reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: Selkie! JK, smut, angst

Word count: 10.6k

Warnings: Sex, swearing, knotting

It’s early, but you prefer walking along the beach when there are less people. The sun’s up, barely, there’s a light salty breeze blowing your hair in your face and there’s movement out of the corner of your eye. 

Three men fighting over what seems to be – a fur coat?

You don’t want to get involved but two of the men are fully dressed and the other one is naked so it seems unfair that the pair are trying to take the fur coat off him. 

‘Hey!’ you shout, before you can talk yourself out of it. ‘Back off!’

You wave your phone. ‘I’m calling the police!’ 

The two men exchange a look and shove the naked man into the sand. Then they’re off. 

You approach the naked man warily. ‘Are you ok?’ 

He looks up at you, dark hair in his face, almost covering his eyes. He’s slim but there’s bulk to his shoulders and arms, a ridge of muscle along his abs. 

He gets up suddenly, overbalances, and you take a step back so he doesn’t fall into you. 

The fur coat’s back on his shoulders, you’re glad for him given, judging by his bare legs under the hem of the coat, he’s stark naked otherwise. 

‘Thank you,’ he says. ‘For helping me.’ 

‘Don’t worry,’ you say. You smile and move past him to continue your walk. 

He says, ‘I owe you everything.’ 

His words make you turn back, slightly nervous at the seriousness of his tone. 

‘You’ve very welcome,’ you say, ‘I didn’t really do anything.’

You’re a few metres down the beach when you realise he’s trailing behind you. 

‘I have to return your kindness,’ he says, when you stop dead and turn around to look him fully in the face. 

Shit. What is this guy on?

‘You can return it by living your life,’ you say, nodding encouragingly. ‘Away from me.’ 

He considers this carefully. ‘Do you feel threatened by me?’ he asks, keeping his distance. 

You eyeball him from the top of his mussed hair, to the ridiculous fur coat he’s got on in the middle of summer, to his bare feet, and can honestly say that you don’t. 

‘You don’t owe me anything,’ you insist.

‘Can I try to repay you?’ he asks. He pushes his hair away from his face, like seeing more of him will change your mind. 

He’s got an interesting face, wide eyes, beautiful skin, a mole under his bottom lip that draws your gaze. 

You sigh. ‘Can you do yard work?’ 

***

Half an hour later your new acquaintance is standing beside you, regarding the mess that was your grandmother’s yard quizzically. 

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ you say. ‘This isn’t worth it. You’re free to go, you don’t have to help me with this.’ 

‘That’s not what I was thinking,’ he says. He looks at you worriedly. ‘How would you have done this alone?’ 

‘It would have taken me longer without your help,’ you allow. 

‘Your hands are small,’ he says, critically, brows furrowed. ‘And your arms —’ 

‘And you’re wearing a fur coat in summer, there’s no judgement here,’ you interrupt, raising an eyebrow at him. 

‘It’s a pelt,’ he tells you, huffy. 

‘There’s probably something up in the loft that’ll fit you,’ you say. ‘Stay here. I’ll go up.’ 

When you get back down to the yard, you’re greeted by the twin mounds of his very firm buttocks. 

‘Holy shit. Get some clothes on,’ you say, turning your eyes up hurriedly as he approaches you. 

‘I see people on the beach wearing tiny clothes that don’t cover much more than this,’ he tells you. 

‘Well you’re not on the beach, you’re in my yard. And in this house we wear clothes,’ you retort. 

You shove the bundle of clothes you’ve found into his chest, and turn your back as he gets dressed. 

When you look around again, thankfully, he’s decent. 

Your grandfather’s clothes are a size too large but it’s probably just as well given your new friend’s penchant for getting naked at the slightest opportunity. 

‘Just to be clear,’ you clarify. ‘This isn’t indentured servitude just because I helped you this morning. You can go whenever you want, ok? You don’t owe me a thing.’ 

‘I owe you everything,’ he says solemnly. 

‘Are you even listening,’ you grumble. 

You decide you’ve spent enough time arguing with him. He looks strong, and willing, and the yard isn’t going to clear itself. 

He works hard, genuinely like he believes he owes you something for scaring those guys off, carrying the weeds you clear out to the bins, seemingly tireless.

By lunchtime you’ve made decent headway. You get up, ignoring the way your knees protest after kneeling in the dirt for so long, and say, ‘come in, let’s take a break.’

‘I don’t need a break,’ he tells you earnestly. ‘I’ll help you finish this.’

You furrow your brow at him. ‘We’re not carrying on unless you eat something —‘ 

You realise you don’t know his name.

‘Jungkook,’ he supplies helpfully, ‘of the Jeon clan.’

You stare at him. ‘I’m Y/N L/N.’

‘Clanless,’ he murmurs to himself, nodding like that explains things.

You frown. ‘We don’t have clans where I come from,’ you start, and then you close your mouth. Why are you arguing with this dude?

‘Fine, Jungkook, let’s have lunch.’

***

For someone who didn’t want to take a break, Jungkook sure seems hungry. 

You watch, bemused, as he wolfs down his sandwich and salad.

‘More?’ you ask, holding out half of your own sandwich. 

He accepts, and the sandwich disappears in three quick bites.

When he’s finally satiated, you go back outside and get back to work.

The sun is starting to drop when you turn to him a little awkwardly. 

‘Hey, Jungkook. Thanks so much for your help today. It would have taken me ages to do this myself.’

He looks at you seriously. ‘You shouldn’t be doing this yourself.’

‘Yeah well, I’m clanless remember?’ you say, jokingly.

He shakes his head. ‘You need help.’

‘You’re not the first person to tell me that,’ you offer.

Jungkook’s unamused. 

‘I’ll help you,’ he says, like that decides it. 

You want to keep arguing but you’re tired, and it’s late, and he does good work.

‘I’ll be back in the morning,’ Jungkook says. He’s got redressed in his pelt, placed the folded clothes you loaned him neatly on the porch. 

You open your mouth and shut it again, and Jungkook takes this as assent.

‘Wait,’ you say, as he walks away.

He turns back to you, and there’s something about the way his profile looks in the fading light that makes your heart beat a little faster. 

He’s beautiful.

‘What do you want for breakfast?’ you ask.

He turns fully to face you, eyes crinkled in a smile. ‘You don’t have to feed me. I’m the one who owes you, remember?’

‘You honestly don’t—‘

You stop talking when you realise he’s too far away to hear you anyway.

***

The next morning, you’re awakened by noises coming from the back garden. You stumble to the window and are greeted by your new friend Jungkook’s shirtless back. 

His muscles ripple in the sunlight, and he’s already worked up a sweat somehow. 

You lift up the sash window, and he turns at the sound. 

His face lights up at the sight of you, and you’d be lying if you said the sight doesn’t make you feel a little giddy. 

‘What –’ 

Your voice comes out as a croak, so you clear your throat and start again. 

‘What do you want for breakfast?’ 

‘Surprise me,’ he says cheerfully. 

He turns back to the thatch of brambles he’s hacking through. 

‘Hey,’ you call again. 

You swipe a hand over your dressing table, grab the sunscreen you apply religiously. 

You toss it out the window, at his feet. 

‘Put sunscreen on.’ 

Jungkook picks it up like he’s unaware of the concept of sun protection. 

‘Can you show me how to use this?’ he asks. 

He’s looking at you quizzically, all bare chest and gleaming skin, and you back away from the window before you say something you’ll live to regret.

You’ve got breakfast in the pan on your grandmother’s old Aga when Jungkook pops his head in the back door.

‘It’s hot today,’ he says.

‘You look hot,’ you agree.

Then you realise what you’ve said. 

Thankfully, Jungkook seems to have missed it completely, walking into your kitchen, looking around curiously. 

He stops in front of a painting on the wall of a lighthouse by the sea. 

‘This looks like it was painted around here,’ he says. ‘I’ve been past this lighthouse.’

‘Would you like the painting?’ you offer. 

At his surprised look, you hasten to explain. 

‘I live in the city. I came here because I inherited this house from my grandmother after she died.’

You wave a hand. ‘I’ve got to pack up her things, get rid of what I can, and then sell this place.’

‘If you like the painting then please take it,’ you say. ‘It’s got no sentimental value to it.’’

‘I don’t have a lot of things,’ Jungkook replies.

He watches as you serve up two plates, lay the table. 

He takes a seat opposite you. 

There’s silence for a bit as you both eat, then Jungkook asks, ‘Isn’t there someone who can help you? It seems a big job.’

‘My parents live abroad,’ you tell him. ‘I don’t have any siblings. Just me.’ 

‘Your mate?’ Jungkook suggests, around a mouthful of eggs. 

You nearly choke on your coffee. ‘I don’t have a – mate, at least not in the sense you mean. I have friends, and they’re stopping by in a few weeks.’ 

You shrug. ‘It’s quite a personal job. I want to make sure my grandmother’s things are handled properly.’ 

You look out the window. Sitting, like this, you can’t see the sea, but if you were to stand, you could see the ocean from every window of this cottage. 

‘I used to spend my summers here, with her,’ you tell Jungkook. 

‘I’ve lived here my whole life,’ Jungkook says. 

You exchange a smile. 

‘I can help you, with anything you want,’ Jungkook tells you earnestly. 

You look at him for a long moment. ‘I can pay you.’ 

Jungkook almost looks offended. ‘I told you I owe you for helping me,’ he insists. 

‘You don’t owe me a thing.’ 

‘I owe you everything,’ he says again, so firmly you don’t have the heart to argue it. 

You get up. ‘I need to stop by the store and get more supplies this morning.’ 

Jungkook says, ‘I can get the brambles cleared today.’ 

You hesitate, then decide to ask. ‘Do you want anything from the store? Is there anything you like to eat?’ 

Jungkook’s smile is shy, a contrast from the fact that he’s parading around shirtless. 

‘I eat anything,’ he tells you, but you get the sense he appreciates that you asked. 

He’s turning to go back into your garden when you stop him. 

‘You should put sun protection on,’ you tell him. 

You squeeze sunscreen onto your palm, show him how to rub it in.

‘On my back, too?’ Jungkook asks, once he’s covered his face. 

You look at him carefully, trying to gauge how serious he is.

‘Yes, on your chest too.’ 

Your voice comes out unusually high-pitched, and Jungkook gives you a funny look as he rubs suncreen into his chest.

You’re trying not to stare at him, acting like it’s the first time you’ve noticed the glorious sea view outside.

‘Can you help me with my back?’ Jungkook asks.

‘Sure,’ you say, gulping a little.

You dot sunscreen on your palm, start rubbing it into his shoulders. His defined back muscles flex under your hands as you rub more cream in.

Jungkook looks down at the waistband of your grandfather’s shorts thoughtfully, and you toss the sunscreen on the table, grab the keys hurriedly.

‘I’ll get you a hat, too,’ you call as you practically run out the front door.

‘See you later Jungkook!’

***

The line at the store’s longer than you expected, you’re looking around for the shortest queue when you spot him.

‘Y/N!’ 

‘Namjoon!’

You step into Namjoon’s hug. He’s always been taller than you but in recent years his build has filled out. You can barely get your arms around him now.

‘I heard you were back,’ he says, smiling at you, friendly. Just for a moment, a shadow crosses his face.

‘I’m sorry about your grandma,’ he says.

‘Thank you,’ you reply. You pull your arms down, clasp your hands awkwardly together. 

‘I’m clearing out her old things,’ you tell him.

‘Need a hand?’

‘I’ve got someone helping me,’ you say.

Seeing the change in Namjoon’s expression, you hasten to explain.

‘I met him yesterday,’ you say. ‘Some guys were hassling him on the beach. He was grateful so he’s helping me clear out the yard.’

Namjoon frowns. He’s one of your childhood friends, you used to look forward to seeing him in the summer.

‘Is he an ok guy?’

‘He seems perfectly nice,’ you say. ‘He doesnt seem like a creep or anything.’

‘Well, you can always call me if you need anything, ok? Maybe we can grab dinner one of these days.’

‘I’d like that,’ you say. 

Namjoon dimples at you. ‘Maybe this weekend?’

‘Sure,’ you agree.

You pay for your things, load up your car and, on impulse, pick up ice cream for you and Jungkook on the way back.

You’re holding your cups of ice-cream carefully, walking around the side of the house to the back, when you hear voices.

You feel a twinge of alarm as you round the corner to see Jungkook and another man you don’t know having what seems to be a heated conversation.

‘Jungkook?’ you call.

The man you don’t know turns and gives you a long look. 

It doesn’t seem friendly.

You’re suddenly aware that you don’t know Jungkook well, you don’t know this man at all, and your nearest neighbour is over a mile away.

Jungkook steps forward, like he senses your apprehension. ‘This is Jimin,’ he tells you. ‘He’s part of my clan.’

Jimin gives you another searching look, but he eventually says, ‘Hi.’

Alarm bells are going off in your head.

You take a step back.

‘My friend Namjoon’s coming over,’ you tell Jungkook and Jimin.

It’s a complete lie, but it’s all you have.

Jungkook says, very gently, ‘Jimin’s leaving. He just came to see where I was.’

You take another step back, ice-cream forgotten.

‘Sure,’ you say. You’re trying your best to sound normal, past the rising panic.

You turn and head back to your car.

It’s only after the car door is closed behind you that you finally feel like you can draw a breath.

The rapping on the window makes you scream.

It takes you a moment to realise it’s Jungkook, another moment to notice that he’s chosen the passenger seat window to knock on even though you’re in the driver’s seat. 

Like he wanted to give you distance.

You lower the window.

‘I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he starts, and he sounds so genuinely upset about it that it goes a long way towards assuaging your fears.

‘No, I —‘ 

You sigh and give up on protesting when you realise it was pretty obvious you were uneasy.

‘It’s ok, Jungkook.’

He says, hesitantly, ‘I want to stay and help you, but if me being here is making you uncomfortable, I’ll go.’

You don’t know how to make this decision now that the ball’s in your court.

So you postpone it, like you’ve done with so many other decisions in your life.

You unlock the car doors. 

‘Do you want ice cream?’

***

Jungkook, it turns out, likes ice cream quite a lot. Somehow, you’re not surprised.

He’s scraping the sides of the cup like he wants to get every single lump, so you pass him your half-eaten ice cream.

He accepts immediately, wide-eyed and so thrilled that it amuses you.

It’s hard to imagine him ever hurting anyone.

‘What’s your favourite flavour?’ you ask.

‘All of them,’ he replies, chocolate smeared at the corner of his mouth.

You laugh. 

‘I’m sorry about Jimin,’ Jungkook says.

He’s not looking at you now, swirling his tiny neon spoon in his cup. 

‘He’s scary when he’s angry, even though he’s so small.’

He hadn’t seemed small to you, although you guess Jungkook’s bigger. 

‘What’s he mad about?’ you ask.

‘He doesn’t trust people,’ Jungkook answers. He glances at you. ‘He thought maybe you were forcing me to help you.’

You snort. ‘How?’

Jungkook doesn’t answer for a moment.

‘Your grandfather,’ he says, changing the subject. ‘There aren’t many photos of him.’

‘He left my grandmother,’ you say. 

In all honesty, you don’t know much more than that. It had all happened when you were very young, your mother hadn’t told you anything about it, and your grandmother had always refused to discuss it.

Jungkook reaches out, fiddles with the dial on the car radio.

‘We should bring the groceries in,’ you say, remembering.

‘I’ll carry them,’ Jungkook insists.

He looks affronted when you try to take a bag off him.

‘I’m much stronger than you,’ he says, huffy.

‘Fine. Carry it all then. Can you make lunch too?’

***

You end up fixing lunch for you and Jungkook with leftovers and deli meat. You sit on the swing on your grandmother’s porch as you eat. 

It’s a hot day, you’re grateful for the light breeze even though it’s barely making the leaves rustle.

Jungkook glances at you as he takes a swig of water, and you hold his gaze. 

‘I’ve got some guys coming to collect the clippings and yard trash next week,’ you say. ‘Think we’ll be done by then?’ 

Jungkook nods, earnestly. ‘We should be.’ 

‘Do you have another job or something? Don’t feel obliged to stay, like I said you’ve helped me so much already.’ 

Jungkook says, firmly, ‘I owe you a debt, please let me pay it.’ 

You search his face. ‘How will I know when the debt is paid?’ 

‘I’ll know,’ Jungkook says. He seems unconcerned, sure of himself. ‘I’ll know, and I’ll take my leave then.’ 

‘What if I get sick of you before then?’ you ask, teasing. 

‘Unlikely,’ Jungkook says, confident. ‘I’m well-liked.’ 

You frown a little as you mull this over, only to catch him watching you, a spark of mischief in his eye. 

‘Are you fucking with me?’ 

Jungkook blinks. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’ 

He’s all round-eyed innocence as you look at him suspiciously. 

Finally you get up. ‘Come on, we’d better carry on, then.’ 

***

You’re up in the loft, trying not to feel overwhelmed at the sheer amount of things around you.

The trappings of a lifetime.

You pick up the item closest to you, a small wooden box with a mother of pearl inlay on the lid.

Inside, there’s a pretty champagne pearl set on a thin gold chain. 

You smooth the pad of your thumb over the pearl, admiring the way it gleams even in the gloom of the loft. You put the necklace around your neck, set the box aside, and reach for the next thing.

In the next few hours, you sort old clothes, separate items into charity and junk piles and start bringing things down.

You’re three steps from the bottom of the folding ladder when you lose your balance.

You don’t have time to make any sound when you’re steadied by strong arms. 

‘Easy, I’ve got you,’ says Jungkook.

He helps you down the last few steps, takes the armful of clothes off you.

‘Thanks,’ you say, gratefully.

‘I’ll bring things down,’ Jungkook says. ‘Is there a lot up there?’

‘We can take turns,’ you say. ‘There’s a lot.’

Jungkook mutters something about human materialism which you don’t quite understand but you’re distracted by the way he looks. 

His neck is stretched, the line of his jaw sharp as he peers up the steps. His profile is beautiful.

He looks back at you, catches you staring at him.

‘I did tell you, didn’t I, that I was well-liked?’ he says, a twinkle in his eye.

He’s definitely fucking with you.

You say, casual, ‘you did mention that.’

Your eyes meet.

Then his gaze drops to the pearl necklace you have on.

‘Was that your grandmother’s?’ he asks.

He reaches out, hesitates, then, when you nod, lifts the pendant gently.

‘It’s a natural pearl,’ he says, something like awe in his voice. ‘These are very rare.’

‘My grandmother loved the sea,’ you say, your voice dropped to a whisper, you’re not sure why.

Jungkook looks down at you. Like this, he’s so close you can see a tiny beauty mark on his lower lip, a small scar on his cheek.

Imperfections that only make him seem more perfect.

He’s not touching you at all, but you can feel the warmth he radiates. 

For the first time, you notice he smells faintly like the sea.

You like it.

Jungkook’s gaze is so intense you have to look away.

He lets go of your necklace, and takes a step back.

You try not to feel disappointed.

‘I need to go,’ Jungkook says. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’

‘Sure,’ you say, too quickly, with a nervousness you can’t explain.

He turns, descends the stairs.

You push the fold up ladder to the loft up, re-fasten the catch, trying to calm your fluttering heart.

‘Hey,’ Jungkook says.

He’s climbed back up, is holding out his pelt to you. 

‘Can you keep this for me until tomorrow?’

‘Sure,’ you say, lifting your arms out for it.

It’s heavier than you expected. 

‘I’ll keep it somewhere safe,’ you reassure him.

Jungkook says, ‘I know you will.’

He smiles at you, and jogs back downstairs. He stops at the foot of the stairs, waves, and then he’s off.

***

You’re not sure what to do with Jungkook’s pelt when you go to bed but you know it’s important to him, so you end up laying it at the foot of your bed.

It’s hot and sticky tonight, the air ruffling the thin gauzy curtains isn’t providing any respite.

There’s a knot, low down in your groin, a neediness between your legs.

Unbidden, Jungkook’s face floats into your head.

His pretty eyes. The way his jaw clenches whenever he catches you doing something that he thinks should be his job.

The feel of his arms caging you in when he stopped you from falling down the steps earlier.

You look down at your body. Your nipples are hard, pressing against the gossamer thin cotton of your sleep tank. You run a hand over your breasts, pinch restlessly at a nipple.

Your moan sounds obscene in the quiet of your room.

Your cunt tightens, and you slide a hand between your legs for relief.

The pads of your fingers press against your swollen bud, and you moan again.

Jungkook’s naked back, muscles glistening with sweat.

The feel of his bare, sun-warmed skin under your fingers.

You’re breathing faster now, bucking your hips into your own hand as you press two fingers into your warmth.

You imagine Jungkook’s hands inside you instead of your own.

His smirk when he told you he was ‘well-liked’.

You don’t doubt it.

Your need builds as you touch yourself, legs splayed, toes pointed.

Your foot touches Jungkook’s pelt, and you sit up, breasts heaving, nipples pointed, hard.

You reach down for Jungkook’s pelt, bring it up to your face, and inhale. 

It smells like him. 

You pull it to your chest as you finger yourself, and the friction of it on your sensitive nipples tips you over the edge.

You come with a whine, a gasp, gushing stickiness between your thighs, thinking of Jungkook.

***

You wake up late the next morning, the sun’s high in the sky by the time you get out of bed.

You look out the window and see Jungkook’s now familiar back in a corner of the garden.

‘Morning!’ you call before you remember exactly what you did with Jungkook’s pelt last night.

You don’t wait for a reply, leaning back from the window quickly. 

Thankfully you hadn’t got any cum on his pelt. 

Shit. What got into you?

You groan inwardly as you traipse to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

You run lightly down the stairs, only to skid to a stop when you see Jungkook lifting his pelt from where you put it on the couch before you went to sleep.

He’s been sniffing it.

You blink, straighten your back, and say, brightly, ‘What do you want for breakfast, Jungkook?’

You do, after all, come from a long line of women who’ve made a lifetime about not talking about things they don’t wish to talk about.

Jungkook looks at you, a little sweaty, dazed. His pupils are huge, his eyes dark.

‘Anything,’ he says. His voice has dropped to a timbre you haven’t heard before from him, low, almost a rasp.

‘Sure,’ you say, turning smartly to the kitchen.

It’s a good twenty minutes before Jungkook joins you in the kitchen.

He looks flushed, damp like he’s been splashing water on his face, but he looks more like his usual self.

You put a plate of pancakes in front of him. Your hand brushes his accidentally, and he moves his hand back like he’s been scalded. 

‘Shit, sorry,’ you say, flustered by his reaction. 

Unsure what else to do, you take a seat opposite him, and start eating. 

After a moment, he starts eating too. 

You give yourself a moment so that your voice won’t betray you and then say, ‘I’m going to be clearing out the loft again today.’

Jungkook takes a moment to reply. 

‘I can help bring things down.’

‘Great. Thank you.’

You push the remaining pancakes towards him. 

Jungkook clears his throat. 

‘Have you, uh, done something to your hair? You look pretty.’

‘Nothing special,’ you answer.

You flick your gaze his way. 

‘I’m well-liked too.’

Jungkook nearly chokes on the mouthful of pancakes he’s chewing.

He gulps down water, eyes watering.

You smile at him as you clear away your plate. 

***

Jungkook grunts as he sets a box down next to you.

You’re trying hard not to notice exactly how he’s worked up a light sweat, just enough to make his skin glow and his t-shirt stick to his torso.

Jungkook lifts his arms over his head, stretches. The hem of his t-shirt lifts two inches above the waist of his jeans. 

You fight the sudden urge to bite his taut skin.

Jungkook rakes a hand through his damp hair. It’s wavier today, curling around his face prettily.

You’re struck by the duality of his pretty face and his distinctly masculine body. 

To hide the warmth in your cheeks, you look down into the box he’s just brought down.

There’s a stack of letters, shoved haphazardly into torn envelopes. 

You pick one up and begin to read.

Dearest,

I thought of you today. When Ara gets mad, she furrows her brows and tilts her head, and she looks exactly like you. 

I know we chose this life, but it doesn’t make it any less hard.

All my love, always,

Dasom

You wonder why the letter’s with your grandmother and not your grandfather, if he ever got to see it.

You pick up the next.

Dearest heart,

Your uncle stopped by today, and as you can probably guess, he didn’t have any pleasantries to share.

One day I’ll be kinder, but today is not that day. 

I shooed him off with the driftwood you salvaged from the cove.

You would have been proud of me.

Look after yourself, my love, I cannot wait for when you come back to me.

All my love, always,

Dasom

You smile to yourself, amused. Your grandmother was dainty, with the petite stature of many women of her generation, and yet somehow it isn’t a stretch to imagine her shooing off a man twice her size.

Beneath the letter is a photograph, a faded black and white, of your grandparents. You smile fondly at it, at the way your grandmother’s smiling brightly at your stoic-looking grandfather. 

You notice something just in the frame that gives you a jolt of recognition. At their feet, what you thought initially was a rug looks on closer inspection to be a fur skin of sorts.

It reminds you, oddly, of Jungkook’s pelt.

A shadow falls over you.

‘Are those your grandparents?’ 

You look up, startled, and the photograph slips from your hand.

Jungkook leans down to pick it up, looks at the photo. He blinks, frowns a little.

‘They’re my grandparents,’ you tell him.

Jungkook asks, with a new note in his voice, ‘Why is there a pelt in this photograph?’

You have no idea.

‘Was one of your grandparents a selkie?’ 

You blink, totally confused.

‘What’s a selkie?’

Jungkook’s examining the photo closely. ‘It looks like the pelt’s your grandfather’s size.’

‘Rewind,’ you demand. ‘What’s a selkie?’

Jungkook looks at you like he’s debating something in his head. 

Finally, he says, ‘I can show you. We’ll have to walk down to the sea.’

***

It’s a glorious late summer day, you can feel your confusion and curiosity lifting as you and Jungkook walk down your grandmother’s path to the beach.

He’s got his pelt with him, slung carelessly over his shoulder. 

His steps are lighter the closer you get to the sea, it’s like he feels as unburdened as you.

When you get to the water’s edge he stops, turns to you.

‘Will you wait for me?’ he asks. ‘I’m about to show you a lot, I’m worried about how you might react, so will you wait here until I come back to you?’

He’s so serious about it, you can’t protest.

‘Where are you going?’ you ask.

‘I won’t be far,’ Jungkook says. ‘But I promise, I’ll come back to you.’

He’s already slipping off his clothes, barenaked in the sun, and you avert your eyes hastily.

‘When you said you had a lot to show me—-‘ you start.

Jungkook turns his head. He smiles, more than a hint of mischief in his gaze. 

‘Wait for me.’

He slips his pelt over his shoulders, and dives into the water. 

He’s a strong swimmer, a few hundred yards out already.

There’s a strange tingling in your stomach, a fizzing in your veins.

You wonder if you’re about to be profoundly changed.

You can barely see him now. 

Hold it.

You can’t see him at all.

Shit!

Is he caught in the current? 

You take a few frantic steps out into the surf, panicked, unmindful that your entire bottom half is wet.

‘Jungkook?’

Your first shout is weak, barely carrying, lost in the crash of the surf.

You try again.

‘Jungkook?’

You take another few steps out, you’re deep enough to swim but you can’t see anything in the sea.

Your eyes sting with salt and the sun as you surface.

‘Jungkook!’

There’s a dark shape in the water, a ripple through the waves, and you scream as the shape brushes past you.

It turns, heads straight to you, and you dive into the water to swim away from it.

It follows, and every shark story you’ve ever been told jumps into your head.

You’re not as good a swimmer as Jungkook, but you did spend a lot of summers at the seaside growing up.

You head back to shore, kicking strongly, and by the time you’re knee deep you’re exhausted from the adrenaline.

You realise the creature’s followed you to the shore.

It’s not a shark at all.

It’s a seal.

It stays half submerged.

It looks like it’s looking straight at you.

Like it’s waiting for you.

Jungkook’s parting words pop into your head.

Wait for me.

You take a step closer. The seal stays where it is, facing you.

There’s something familiar about the tilt of its head.

The world rocks on its axis, and you?

You slip down into the sand in a dead faint.

***

You wake to sunlight that’s too bright, and Jungkook leaning over you.

His expression’s panicked, his eyes wide and worried.

You wince a little, raise your hand over your head to block out the light.

Jungkook’s saying your name, so you squint up at him.

‘Jungkook?’

‘Are you ok?’ His words come out rushed, urgent.

‘What happened?’

It comes back to you in a flash.

You groan and try to sit up.

Jungkook helps support you, hand flat against the small of your back.

‘Where did you go?’ you ask, a dumb question because you’re not sure if you’re ready to ask the question you really want to ask.

Jungkook says, ‘I went into the ocean, then I—-‘

He breaks off, then says, ‘Then I came back to you.’

‘There was a seal,’ you say carefully.

Jungkook just waits.

‘Jungkook, what’s a selkie?’

Jungkook smiles at you, gentle. 

‘I just showed you.’

***

You’re looking out of the window of your house  as Jungkook makes you tea. He’s been hovering around you like a worried mother hen since the beach, no matter how much you reassure him you’re ok.

His pelt lies beside you on the couch, thrown carelessly next to you as he rushed to fix you a drink when you got back.

You reach out gingerly and run a hand over it.

It’s warm, sleek, the short fibres bristling under your palm when you brush the wrong way.

How had you not recognised it as sealskin before?

Jungkook comes back, carefully holding a mug. He sees you touching his pelt, and you pull your hand away.

‘I don’t mind, if you touch it,’ he assures you.

You say, ‘I like how it feels.’

You sip the tea Jungkook’s just given you.

‘Tell me about selkies,’ you say.

Jungkook sits next to you on the couch. ‘I have a clan. Jimin, whom you met the other day, is part of it.’

‘We mostly live close to the sea. We can take either form—‘

At your expression, he clarifies, ‘I can be seal, or human.’

‘And the pelt?’

‘It’s part of my seal form,’ Jungkook tells you.

You have more to ask about his pelt, but Jungkook changes the subject.

‘Your grandfather was selkie,’ he says.

‘Is that common?’ you ask. ‘That selkies marry humans?’

‘It’s not unheard of,’ Jungkook says. ‘Some clans frown upon it.’

‘My grandfather left my grandmother,’ you tell him.

‘I’m sorry.’

You shrug. ‘I don’t know much. My grandmother didn’t talk about it.’

You turn to him. 

‘I found all these letters she wrote him, I don’t know if he ever got to see them.’

Jungkook’s thoughtful. ‘I can ask around, if you want.’ 

He gets up. ‘I should go. Jimin wanted my help tonight.’ 

He gives you a careful look. ‘Will you be all right?’ 

‘No wonder Jimin’s a selkie,’ you say. ‘I bet his bark is worse than his bite.’ 

Jungkook gives you an exasperated look. 

You’re on a roll. ‘Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. My lips are sealed.’ 

Jungkook tosses his pelt at you. ‘Shut up.’ 

You struggle to extricate yourself from under his pelt. ‘Don’t you need this?’ 

‘Nah,’ Jungkook says, casual. ‘Besides —’

His voice drops low as he tilts his chin at you. 

‘I like the way it smells when you look after it for me.’ 

Now you’re the one stammering and heating up. 

Jungkook smirks at you and lets himself out. 

***

Jungkook loads the last of the boxes into the back of your car and shuts the trunk. 

He’s stepping back from the car when you ask, ‘Hey, you want to come with?’ 

Jungkook considers this. 

‘We can get ice cream,’ you offer. ‘You’ll have to put a shirt on, though.’ 

Jungkook’s already pulling his t-shirt over his head and sliding into the passenger seat. 

‘You’ll need someone to help you unload this stuff at the charity shop,’ he reasons.

‘Chocolate or vanilla?’ you ask.

‘Both?’ suggests Jungkook hopefully.

You smile affectionately at him. ‘Anything you want, doll.’

Jungkook pouts. ‘It sounds like you’re making fun of me,’ he complains.

‘Don’t be seal-y,’ you say.

Jungkook groans. ‘I don’t know if ice-cream is worth this.’

You chuckle softly to yourself as you pull out of your drive onto the road into town.

***

Jungkook waits patiently on the kerb outside as you speak to the owner of the charity shop.

When you’re done you smile up at him. 

‘Ice-cream?’

‘Sure,’ he agrees amiably.

He doesn’t say much until you’re back in the car, ice-creams in hand.

‘Are you ok?’ he asks.

You glance at him but he’s not looking at you, licking up the rivulet of cream that’s trickled down the side of his cone.

‘Yeah,’ you say.

‘Your grandmother was more than what she left behind,’ Jungkook says.

He’s still not looking at you.

‘She was.’

Unexpectedly, your voice cracks, you clear your throat abruptly in an attempt to hide it.

He’s looking at you now, when you’re trying to look away, to discreetly wipe the tears pricking your eyelids.

Jungkook reaches out, and, without comment, thumbs the tears off your cheeks.

You finish your ice creams in silence.

When you pull onto your drive and kill the engine, Jungkook turns to you.

‘Tell me another seal joke.’

‘What type of music do you like?’ you ask. ‘Club hits?’

Jungkook laughs. 

He looks so pretty like this, dark hair wavy and tousled, golden skin gleaming, that you lean forward and kiss him.

His laughter stops, and you aren’t given time to fret about whether that’s a bad thing because he’s nudging closer, seeking your lips as you pull away.

There’s a sigh, and you couldn’t say if it’s from you or him, don’t care anyway, because he’s kissing you back, and it’s good.

He tastes like chocolate, and salt, his lips firm, his tongue teasing at the seam of your lips until you part them for him.

He licks into your mouth with a sweet urgency that makes you squeeze your thighs together.

His hand’s stroking the exposed skin of your back where your t-shirt’s ridden up, and his skin warms you more than the sun.

‘Jungkook,’ you murmur, as he presses kisses down the column of your throat, ‘wanna go upstairs?’

‘Yeah,’ he says. He pulls away, eyes dark, lips pink. ‘Yeah.’

***

You’re on your bed, half-undressed because Jungkook’s taking his time kissing along your breasts.

He’s shirtless, his beautiful chest toned and golden, flat nipples pebbling under your hand.

You brush a hand over the front of his jeans, thrilled by his hardness.

He groans, tugs at your shorts, lifts your hips up like you weren’t going to do it for him anyway.

He stares at the scrap of pink lace between your legs, so rapt you’re shy until he presses an open mouthed kiss to your folds.

The whine that falls involuntarily from your lips surprises you with its neediness.

Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind.

He tugs your panties half down your thighs, spreads you apart, and kisses you again.

His tongue slides between your folds, wet, insistent.

You’re throbbing, sensitive, as he licks you again and again.

He moans as you get wetter, slicker. 

‘Swollen,’ he pants against your cunt. ‘Need me to lick you.’

You’re beyond words, bucking your hips so you can get more of the delicious pressure of his tongue where you need it.

‘Inside,’ you moan. ‘Need you.’

‘Yeah,’ Jungkook agrees. 

He shoves his jeans down, draws out his cock.

Your mouth waters. He’s pretty. Thick, precum glistening on his head.

Jungkook strokes his cock between your folds, making himself even wetter, and you cry out at the feel of his cock head against your clit.

‘Shit. Do that again.’

He nudges himself against your clit, rubbing precum against you. ‘Like that?’

‘Yeah,’ you gasp.

Jungkook swears softly. ‘I need to be inside.’

You still as he pushes in, the hard blunt head of him stretching you as he slides in. He thrusts shallow, slow, and you’re wound so tight you could scream when he groans, deep in his chest, and fills you all the way.

He rocks his hips against yours, the head of him nudging at your front wall. You’re wrapped around him somehow, you don’t remember doing it but you thighs are around his hips, ankles crossed, holding him tight to you as he thrusts.

Jungkook groans, reaches out to grab your breasts as he makes them bounce with every lunge of his hips.

He’s so fucking strong. You knew that, you’ve seen him carry things, but you’d never put it together that he would be strong like this too, his body moving against yours like he was made to fuck you.

He slows, panting, canting his hips, changing his angle, grabbing at your thigh when your ankles unlock.

‘That’s it,’ he grunts. ‘That’s it, fuck me back.’

He throws his head back as you lift your hips to meet his, sweat gleaming on his throat.

‘Jungkook!’

‘Take it,’ he moans.

You cry his name repeatedly as you come, a pulse of pleasure so intense you lose track of everything that isn’t Jungkook and his cock inside you.

Jungkook’s grinding against you, filling you up, mouthing at your neck, when he cries out and pulls out abruptly.

You moan in protest, and he kisses you, deep, long. You can feel his heart pounding against you.

‘Tried to knot,’ he mumbles. ‘Sorry.’

You have no idea what he’s talking about but you’re enjoying the feel of him holding you too much to care.

You’ll ask later.

***

Jungkook, it turns out, is beautiful when he sleeps.

He’s splayed beside you, face down in your bed, the sheet loose over his hips. 

His face is slack with sleep, brow unfurrowed, lips parted in an ‘o’ that makes him look surprised.

He’s adorable, and the warmth in your chest as you watch him sleep surprises you.

You turn over, face the open window.

A moment later, Jungkook’s moving, curling himself around you, his chest pressed to your back.

‘Can’t sleep?’ he murmurs, his husky voice against your ear making you shiver.

‘I’m trying,’ you tell him.

You can feel him, hard, as he curls his body around yours. 

‘Let me help,’ he says. 

He reaches round to touch your naked breasts, arches your back, slides his cock between the cleft of your ass, entering you shallowly until you’re gasping and moaning.

Then he fucks you again, and it’s even better than the first time.

***

You’re trying not to stare at Jungkook as you have breakfast together, but it’s hard when you can still feel the imprints of his hands on your body.

Your only consolation is that Jungkook seems to be struggling as much as you are. 

His eyes flit between your neck, where he left a hickey close to your ear, skim over your breasts, and eventually his gaze lands on your face.

When he sees your smile he returns it, endearingly shy.

‘I had a good time last night,’ you say.

‘Me too,’ he replies.

You’re still smiling at each other like idiots.

There’s a knock on the door, and you look up, surprised.

You open the door to an unfriendly expression on a fiercely pretty face.

Jimin lifts a brow at you. ‘Is Jungkook here?’

Jungkook’s up. ‘Jimin?’

‘We have to go. Taehyung’s hurt.’ Jimin throws you a look that makes you step back.

He’s furious, and his next words hit you like a slap. ‘Fucking humans.’

You’re not given a chance to react, as Jimin’s already turning away. Jungkook throws you an apologetic look, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Then they’re gone. 

***

You’re nervous, waiting by your front door like it’s the first date you’ve ever had, and it’s not even a date. 

Namjoon’s picking you up and you’re going into town for dinner. 

You haven’t seen Jungkook since he left with Jimin. Granted, it’s only been a couple of days, but you’ve got used to having him around. 

For the thousandth time, you wonder what he’s doing. You hope he’s ok. 

There’s the flash of headlights in your front window, you’re opening the door before you realise you’re moving. 

Namjoon pulls to a stop, gets out, and you have a flash of realisation. 

He’s dressed up for this - shoulders and chest broad and strong against a crisp blue shirt, slacks that hug his ass and make his legs look even thicker. 

‘Hey,’ you say, feeling suddenly shy. 

This feels different from the Namjoon who used to collect shells and catch crabs with you when you were kids. You know he’s different now, but you’re still getting used to it. 

He walks over to open your door for you. 

‘Hey,’ he says. He smiles, and the flash of dimples makes you feel more at ease. 

‘Hey,’ you say again. 

‘Hey,’ he replies. ‘You look really pretty.’ 

You put your hand over your grandmother’s pearl, hanging in your decolletage. 

‘Thanks,’ you say. ‘You look good too.’ 

You slide into the passenger seat, look up just in time to catch the way Namjoon’s gaze drops to how your skirt’s ridden up your thighs. 

There’s a beat of nothing, then you hastily pull your skirt down, and Namjoon straightens up to close your door. 

At the restaurant, Namjoon leans back in his chair across from you. His arm’s slung casually over the back of the chair next to him – you’ve never seen his shoulders look so broad. 

‘How are you getting on with clearing out your grandmother’s house?’ he asks. 

‘We’re doing well,’ you tell him. You take a sip of your wine. ‘The loft’s almost empty, that was the biggest task, and the garden looks pretty good now.’ 

You see the way his brow rises slightly at the ‘we’. 

‘Remember that guy I told you about in the store? Jungkook? He’s been helping me.’ 

‘I’m glad you have help,’ Namjoon says. ‘If you need any extra hands, I’ve got time next week.’ 

‘I think we’ll be ok, but thanks,’ you tell him. 

‘Are you staying?’ Namjoon asks. ‘After you finish clearing out the house?’ 

He shifts a little, and his thigh brushes yours under the table. 

You try to ignore the rush of heat through you at the unexpected touch. 

‘I might stay for a bit,’ you say. 

You’d love to say you’re going back to where you were living, but the honest truth is, you feel untethered. 

Your friends in the city were great, your little apartment is your sanctuary, and your job was ok, but since being back you’ve felt a distance between you and your old life. 

You’ve never felt so strongly that there’s more out here for you. 

Namjoon tilts his head. ‘It’d be great to see more of you. My mum’s always asking after you.’ 

You laugh. ‘I miss her a lot too.’ 

‘She thinks you and I would be perfect together, she was more excited than me about our date.’ 

You roll your eyes. ‘Surely she knows, Namjoon, that you don’t really date.’ 

Namjoon pretends to be hurt, but the twinkle in his eyes gives him away. ‘We’re in a nice restaurant, I wore a nice shirt, how can you say this isn’t a date?’ 

You pretend to be thinking. 

‘Is this table too small, do you think? Because your thigh keeps brushing against mine, and —’ 

Namjoon laughs, sips his wine. ‘I also like that pearl you’ve got on that’s hanging between your tits. Like I needed more reasons to look there.’ 

You laugh. ‘It’s my grandmother’s!’ 

‘That ivory colour suits your skin tone,’ Namjoon says. He dimples at you. 

‘Shut up,’ you grumble. ‘Eat your food.’ 

‘Load up on carbs, baby,’ Namjoon suggests. ‘We’re going to burn them off later.’ 

You ignore him. 

***

Namjoon pulls up outside your house, gets out to open your door for you. 

He looks at you hopefully. ‘Are you gonna invite me in?’ 

You laugh. ‘No. I’m fine with being the only woman in town you haven’t fucked.’ 

Namjoon laughs, cups your arm as he walks you back up to your front door. 

There’s movement in the shadows, and you realise Jungkook’s been waiting on your front porch. 

He steps forward, eyes you and Namjoon. 

Beside you, Namjoon stiffens, turns towards you. 

‘Hey, Jungkook,’ you say. ‘This is Namjoon. Namjoon, Jungkook.’ 

Jungkook nods at Namjoon. 

Namjoon turns more, putting himself between you and Jungkook. 

‘I can probably take him,’ Namjoon tells you, in a stage whisper. ‘If you want me to get rid of him.’ 

You roll your eyes. ‘No one’s getting rid of anyone. Thanks for dinner, Namjoon.’

Namjoon gives Jungkook a long look, then leans down deliberately to kiss you on the cheek. 

‘Call me later,’ he says.

You wait until he’s got back in his car and driven off before turning to Jungkook. 

‘Hey,’ you say. ‘How’s your friend?’ 

‘Taehyung? He’s ok. He was hurt but the clan’s looking after him. He’ll be fine,’ Jungkook tells you. 

‘What happened?’ 

‘Some guys out in a fishing boat thought it’d be funny to try to catch him,’ Jungkook says. His eyes are serious. ‘There are some pretty cruel people out there.’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ you tell him. 

You reach out to touch his arm, and he pulls back like he doesn’t want you to touch him. 

You drop your hand, stung. 

‘Is there much left to do? Have you made progress since I Ieft?’ Jungkook asks. 

There’s a distance to his voice now, a coolness you’ve never felt from him before. 

‘Yeah,’ you lie. ‘I’m almost done, actually.’ 

‘That’s great,’ Jungkook says. He’s barely looking at you. 

‘Yeah.’ 

‘You probably don’t need my help anymore,’ Jungkook says. 

You’re too upset to hide it, so you’re glad for the darkness around you. 

‘Thank you,’ you say. ‘Thanks for helping me.’ 

Jungkook doesn’t say anything. 

You fumble through your bag, looking for your keys, trying hard to see through the sheen of tears suddenly in your eyes. 

‘Here,’ Jungkook says finally. He reaches into your bag, plucks out the keys, unlocks your front door. 

‘Yeah, thanks,’ you say. 

You risk a glance up at his face. 

‘Are you — are you going?’ 

‘Yeah,’ he says. There’s something like regret in his eyes, but maybe you’re over-reading his expression. 

‘Ok. Thank you.’ 

You step into your house, and very slowly, close the door behind you. 

You tell yourself it’s probably for the best. 

***

You have no idea why you keep coming back to this spot on the beach, apart from it was the spot Jungkook picked to profoundly change your world view. 

It’s usually deserted, but today the usual serenity of the vista is marred by shouting. 

You approach, and to your horror, there’s a seal on the shore, and a couple of guys standing over it. 

You rush forward. ‘Hey!’ 

You have the oddest feeling of deja vu. It’s not the same, not the same at all, but this reminds you of the first time you met Jungkook. 

You see the swing of a piece of driftwood, and you jump forward. 

At the last moment, the guy who had been about to hit the seal manages to swing away so he doesn’t hit you. 

You ignore him. 

‘Get back in the water,’ you say. 

The seal looks at you, watching, waiting. 

‘Fucking go,’ you plead. ‘Please, just go.’ 

You think it’s Jungkook but you really have no idea, you’ve only seen him in seal form once. 

You wait until he moves, before turning back to the guys. 

‘Why would you even do that?’ you ask, angrily. ‘It’s a seal!’ 

The guy scoffs. ‘What’s it to you, bitch?’ 

You clench your jaw. ‘You’d better walk away, asshole.’ 

The two guys stare at you, but you’re too angry to care. 

‘Hey!’ comes another voice. 

You all turn to see Jimin approaching. 

Fuck. Just what you need. Another angry man who hates you. 

You turn back and realise the seal’s gone. 

‘Come on,’ Jimin says. To your astonishment, he steps between you and the men. ‘Come on, Y/N, let’s go back home.’ 

You’re so surprised that you allow him to lead you away from the men. 

Eventually you look at him. ‘We don’t even have the same home.’ 

‘Yeah, I’m aware of that,’ Jimin says, dry. 

‘Guess you saw those assholes.’ 

‘Jungkook should know better.’ 

You try to ignore the flare of hope in your chest at the acknowledgement that it was Jungkook on the beach. 

‘I guess you think he should know better about a lot of things,’ you say, spiky. 

Jimin hums. ‘You didn’t hurt him but there are a lot of cruel humans out there.’ 

You’ve reached your door. ‘Yeah.’ 

You turn to Jimin. ‘I hope he’s ok,’ you say. ‘Look after yourself, Jimin.’ 

You don’t think there’s anything left to say. 

***

You fall into a routine of sorts as the days click into place. 

Jungkook had been right, the garden didn’t need any more work after he left. 

The loft’s empty now, apart from a box of letters, some of which you’re waiting to have the emotional headspace to read. 

After the loft, emptying the rooms is easy. The house still has its memories, but you no longer feel laden with the past. 

It’s a week after you saw Jungkook on the beach that you wake to find his pelt on the step up to your kitchen door. 

You pick it up carefully, look around like Jungkook might still be around even though your instincts tell you that you’re alone. 

You place it on the couch, wonder what the hell you’re supposed to do with it, why he would even leave it with you considering he doesn’t want to see you. 

You remember the picture of your grandparents and your grandfather’s pelt, and re-open the last box from the loft. 

Letter after letter, tiny fine trinkets, a lock of your mother’s hair tied with a ribbon. 

Another picture, this time of you, on your grandfather’s lap. 

You don’t remember much about him apart from that he’d been kind, and that he’d seemed to love your grandmother. They’d seemed to have loved each other. 

You unfold another letter. The paper’s crisper than the others, like it’s been wet and dried. 

Dearest, 

I don’t have any regrets about the life we chose. I’ll always cherish our time together, short though it was. 

Today is hard. I’m angry, and I’m upset, and I miss you so very much. 

I wish you’d chosen me instead of your clan. 

I wish I’d told you what I wanted before you left. 

I hate that we are apart, and today, I almost hate you. 

I don’t mean that. Maybe I do. 

Most of all, I wish I could tell you, my love, that even on days like this, it was worth all our while. 

It was worth it. 

All my love, always

Dasom

Tear prick your eyelids, and you blink them back hurriedly, but not quickly enough. A fat teardrop lands in the middle of the letter, and you realise now why the paper is crisper than the others, why the ink in some spots is smeared. 

Your grandmother was crying when she wrote it. 

You’re re-folding the letter, about to close the box, when you spot another letter at the very bottom. 

It’s written on different paper, and when you unfold it, in different handwriting. 

Dasom, 

You know I’m not one for writing, you always wrote so much more beautifully than I did. Did you get the pearl? I found it last year, and it’s always reminded me of you. 

I want to ask how Ara is but I see her sometimes by the shore, with Y/N, and they’re perfect. 

Loving you was the best thing I ever did, and I think that every day. 

All my love, always

Dal

You’re crying so hard you can barely breathe. 

The knock on your kitchen door startles you. You wipe your tears away hastily, and open the door. 

It’s Jungkook. 

He’s wet, and it takes you longer than it should to notice that it’s raining. 

Jungkook leans down so his face is closer to yours. His eyes are worried. ‘Are you ok?’ 

‘I’m fine,’ you tell him. ‘I was reading old letters.’ 

‘Thank you for helping me,’ he starts, ‘that day on the beach.’ 

‘Which one?’ you joke, tearily. 

Jungkook smiles. ‘You’re always saving me,’ he agrees. 

He steps closer, and you realise he’s trying to stop the rain from reaching you by shielding you with his own body. 

You step back, into your kitchen.

‘I can’t sleep,’ Jungkook tells you. 

‘Want a hot chocolate?’ you offer. 

‘Always,’ Jungkook admits. ‘But I don’t think that’s why.’ 

You look up at him. 

‘I belong to you,’ Jungkook tells you. 

Your heart begins to pound. 

‘I always have,’ he says, eyes intent on you. 

You turn to give yourself some space. ‘I’ve told you, Jungkook, you don’t owe me anything.’ 

Your voice comes out firm, confident. 

‘I owe you everything,’ Jungkook says. 

‘You don’t owe me a damn thing —’ 

You’re cut off by Jungkook stepping forward and leaning down to kiss you. He’s gentle as always, his arm wrapping loosely around your waist to hold you as your lips meet. 

Jungkook says, ‘Have you packed your bed?’ 

He’s backing you gently out of the kitchen, heading to the stairs. 

‘Jungkook we can’t —’ 

He stops. ‘Don’t you want to?’ he asks. 

‘Yeah, fuck, ok. We can.’ 

***

You’re loose, still boneless from your orgasm, when Jungkook goes to fetch you water from the kitchen. 

He comes back with a glass of water, and his pelt. 

‘Kinky,’ you say, teasing. 

‘I didn’t tell you about pelts before,’ he says. He scoots in next to you, brushes your hair away from your face. 

‘I have something to tell you about your pelt too,’ you confess. 

At his expression, you say, quickly, ‘You go first.’ 

‘The reason I was so grateful to you when you helped me that day at the beach is that you stopped those men from taking my pelt,’ Jungkook tells you. 

He looks at you. ‘For a selkie, a pelt is the source of our ability to change form.’ 

‘If those men had taken my pelt, I’d have been stuck in human form permanently.’ 

‘You should take better care of it,’ you scold. 

Jungkook’s still looking at you. ‘I did. I left it with you.’ 

The realisation makes you sit up. ‘You should have told me how important it was!’

Jungkook says, simply, ‘I trusted you to look after it.’  

You groan. ‘Why would you trust me like that, Jungkook?’ 

Jungkook rolls over, on top of you. 

He’s heavy, but that’s not the main reason your breathing’s quickening. 

‘I have more to tell you,’ he murmurs, voice husky now. 

‘Yeah?’ you ask. 

Jungkook leans his head down, tugs the sheet off you with his teeth. 

His eyes darken as your breasts are bared to him. 

‘I almost knotted you,’ he tells you. 

You’re distracted, because he’s grinding against you, and you can feel exactly how hard he is. 

‘Hmm?’ you ask. 

Jungkook nudges his cock between your legs, pushing himself in an inch. Two. 

You close your eyes. ‘Fuck, Jungkook.’ 

‘Knotting’s an important thing for selkies,’ Jungkook explains. 

You have no idea how he even has the presence of mind to still be making full sentences. 

Shit, you can’t think! Not when he’s inside you like this. 

Jungkook moves, a shallow thrust that makes you moan. 

‘When a selkie meets his mate, his biological response is to knot.’ 

‘Shit, Jungkook,’ you gasp as he moves again. ‘Can we talk about this later?’ 

Jungkook’s breathing hard as he moves again, and you’re pleased you’re not the only one hot and bothered by what he’s doing. 

‘No,’ he says. ‘We need to talk about it. I’m worried I might —’

Your eyes snap to his. 

‘What’s knotting?’ 

Jungkook stills, but you can still feel him, hard and throbbing inside you. 

‘I’ve never knotted anyone before,’ he tells you. ‘But the other day, I nearly knotted you.’ 

Now he has your full attention. 

‘After I come, the base of my cock swells inside you.’ He looks shy, which is a lot considering he’s inside you still. 

‘It’s biological. To keep my sperm inside you.’ 

‘I’m on birth control —’ 

‘I know,’ he says. ‘But selkies haven’t evolved to get past that yet.’ 

You laugh. ‘Are you saying your cock gets even bigger after you’ve come?’ 

Jungkook buries his face between your breasts, but he’s still so hard. 

‘Fuck. Ok, show me.’ 

‘It might hurt you,’ Jungkook says, touching your cheek. 

‘You’ll look after me, won’t you?’ 

‘I will,’ he promises. ‘Fuck, I will.’ 

He starts moving again, grunting as he thrusts. You curl your hand around the nape of his neck, holding him close as he grinds against you. 

‘Jungkook I —’ 

‘Yeah,’ he says. He presses kisses to your cheeks, to your neck, as you tighten around him. 

You cry his name again as you come, hear his answering moan. 

Jungkook’s thrusting slower now, movements getting more erratic as he reaches his peak. 

He seals his lips to yours as he comes, groans deep in his chest. You can feel him twitching inside you as he fills you. 

There’s so much come you can feel it leaking out of you. 

Jungkook strokes your face, kisses you. ‘I’m going to knot,’ he tells you, voice strained. ‘Can I?’ 

‘Yeah,’ you say. 

You turn your face into his hand, press a kiss into his palm as he swells inside you. 

You shift a little, and Jungkook says, hoarse, ‘You’re doing so well, shit, it feels so good.’ 

He moves, once, and you moan at the pleasure of it. 

‘Does it feel good for you?’ Jungkook asks. He makes the same movement again, and you moan again. 

‘Yeah,’ you tell him. ‘I like it —’ 

Jungkook groans. ‘I like it too, baby.’ 

He reaches between your bodies, strokes your clit as he moves, and between the fullness inside you and the way he’s touching you, you come again.

Jungkook swears, pupils so blown his eyes look black. ‘I can feel you,’ he tells you. ‘Fuck, I can feel you.’ 

You bury your face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him as he holds you tightly. You have no idea how long the pleasure goes on for, if it even stops. All you know is the feel of Jungkook all around you, inside you, and it all makes sense to you. 

***

Your grandmother’s grave is a simple one with a small flat polished headstone. The inscription reads, Dasom, loving mother to Ara and grandmother to Y/N, and loving wife to Dal. 

Yours are the only flowers in front of it, but as you set them down you notice the square laid carefully on the ground. 

It’s part of your grandfather’s pelt, you’d know it anywhere. 

You look up at Jungkook, hesitant. ‘Does this mean –’ 

‘When a selkie dies, his pelt is given to his loved ones,’ Jungkook says. 

You don’t put much stock in physical things, especially not now when you’ve seen firsthand how none of it matters, really, but you like that your grandfather’s pelt is with your grandmother. 

You hope it means they’ve found each other again. 

Jungkook holds out his hand to help you up, and you walk down the path together. 

Author note: For Memes @madbutgloriouspond , because your friendship and kindness means the world to me.

©hamsterclaw 2023

[romanreignseater]

This Is Cinema.

Jey Uso x Black Female Reader

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; consensual pornography & rough times 🤫.

“You know what they say about the Bloodline, them boys make CINEMA!!”

A/N: That Jimmy fic is on hold until further notice 😤 (that boy made me so mad). I do have another Jey fic, but this was TOOO good for me to not upload first!! Hope you enjoy 💋!!”

GIF: @jeygif

Another day of work, another asshole to deal with.

Or so you thought.

Working as “pornstar”, but your preferred term of “adult film star”, was something you didn’t see yourself doing when you were a teen. The idea of getting nude in front of a camera with loads of crew surrounding as you do something that seems so sacred was weird to you back then. But, once college didn’t work out, you had other plans.

One of your homegirls who started off doing porn and soon ventured into the world of OnlyFans gave you the idea to start. And honestly… it was one of the best decisions you’ve made!!

You were soon living lavishly in Tampa, Florida, with $6 million to your name, the most gorgeous mansion, a brand new bright pink Range Rover, the cutest teacup poodle named Rex, food in your fridge, and bills paid. All in under a year.

Regardless of what people may say about you on the internet… sweetheart they were paying your bills.

You were working with some of the best in the industry and millions of views on those videos. Your career seemed to be at its pinnacle, but your manager informed you that there was a group of men starting off in the industry and absolutely taking over. In a little over five months, they were rated the top pornstars in the world.

Hundreds of millions of views on each of their videos and numerous women wanting to start a career just to be able to be near them. Working with them would not only boost your career even further, but to get a chance to fuck a handsome ass Samoan, yes please. In the words of your manager, “We gotta get that dick.”

An interesting choice of words, but you trusted every piece of advice she gave you. Soon, you were on a flight to the ATL to meet up with one of the members of the infamous group.

Doing your research the night prior to your flight, there were three brothers and a cousin. Roman, the cousin, was the oldest and definitely the biggest. A set of twins, Jimmy and Jey, and their younger brother, Solo, who didn’t look so little.

Roman was the one who wasn’t the most booked, as he only worked with the best of the best. Viewers only seeing his work every once in a while. But, when he dropped a video you knew it was gonna be heat. The absolute passion in his strokes and darkness in his eyes made you bite your lip at his raw manly magnitude.

Jimmy was fairly booked, with his whole month practically full. Most of his content involved acting with a lot of backstory. Really diving deep into massive rounds of role play and foreplay. That boy didn’t play games once that time came around though.

Next was Solo. He was working with a lot of underground stars and still reaching the levels of the ones older than him. Yet, he picked up those levels quick. Reaching the heights of his family and making women reach their climax at the same time.

But, the one who really caught your eyes was Jey. He was the definition of your ideal man. His warm-looking tan skin, his beautiful curly mullet, sexy ass style, big meaty thighs and muscles, and those grills. The way he fucked made you shrivel in your panties. He was a beast with a lot of mouth, just the way you liked it. His style consisted more of an interview at the beginning with a little foreplay and then straight to business. Asking girls about what turns them on the most and what he’s gonna do to them. Making each and every woman who set foot near him blush heavily.

And let’s not get started about that dick.

Definitely a 9-incher, big and heavy looking balls that laid nicely underneath his cock. A luscious pink mushroom tip, with meaty veins that trailed down to his trimmed hair. Now, it’s getting really hot and the thoughts of what he could do to you couldn’t stop dancing around your head.

After some more internet stalking, the time flew by and your flight approached.

Knowing that he stayed in ATL made you absolutely happy. Your manager wouldn’t let you know who exactly you’d be working with, but as soon as you saw your ticket, you knew you were in for a treat and rude awakening.

Dressing your absolute best in a grey Skims shirt and matching miniskirt, that barely covered your ass… perfect.

Wig secured down by some industrial glue and an opt out for the lashes, knowing they’d come off. But, mascara is a must.

On your way there, you couldn’t contain the excitement you felt. Watching some of his work that night before and earlier that day, you knew what he liked, how he acted, and how he wanted it. All the little things that made him tick and shiver.

You were seriously on demon time.

Even though, you felt as though you were throughly experienced and quite the pro. The flashing lights and big cameras still made you very nervous. In the beginning, your parents weren’t very supportive, but once they saw you had a roof over your head and food to eat, that’s all that mattered to them. But, sometimes the days didn’t get any easier. Luckily, your manager was a real one and knew how to calm you down.

After meeting all members of the crew, and the camera and director you and Jey would be working closely with today, you got touched up as you awaited Jey’s arrival.

“Nervous?!” The makeup artist asked you. Laughing slightly, you nonchalantly ignored your jitters and told her you were fine. All that anxious behavior would only arise and the man of the hour arrived.

He looked absolutely scrumptious in a pair of white joggers and a white Nike Tech with no shirt on underneath. His Cuban link chains shining in the sunlight and his cross earring dangling from his one ear.

Your cunt just throbbed at the sight of him. “Hello Ms. Y/N?! Is anyone in there?!” Completely zoned out and you didn’t even realize it, Jey waved his big hand in your face to catch your attention. His dimple prominent as he was quite amused by your expression.

“Hey Jey nice to meet you. Sorry… I just zoned out for a second.” Reaching out to shake his hand, he kindly refused. “It’s no problem, but I don’t shake hands I’m more of a hugger.” Flustered by his comment you arose from your chair and were soon enveloped into his burly arms.

His arms were thick and wrapped around your waist securely, his warm chest pressed against yours, as you felt your nipples harden. The feeling of his semi-hard dick rest against your thigh made you bit your lip and hold your arms around his neck tighter. “You out here showing out, I see you and your little miniskirt.” Spinning you around at 180 degrees, he stopped when your back faced his front.

Obviously entertained by his comments, you decided to show out a little more. Bending over slightly and giving him a little shake, Jey took the opportunity to give your ass an ample smack. “Uh oh, we got a lotta chemistry over here, don’t we?!” The producer of our film walked over to us as we were sharing a moment.

Both of us blushed at the producers comments. Damn right we have chemistry, but we really are gonna see once those cameras turn on. “But, we need more of that on the screen, so let’s get filming.” Turning back around to you, Jey gave you a wet kiss on the cheek and winked at you as he headed to the living room.

He is something else.

————————————————————————

“In 5, 4, 3, 2… 1.”

“Alright, well look at who we have here. We got the Queen of Screams, Y/N in the building. And the Leader Beater, Jey.” Both of us have a wave and proper introduction to the camera as we laughed at the names the producer gave us.

“I just gotta say you guys just sitting next to each other is already a movie.”

“Maybe I need to move a little more closer to him then.” Snuggling up by his side as gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead.

Jey’s arm was placed on the back of the couch with his legs fully spread, giving a beautiful of his already hard dick. You crossed you legs to staf off that feeling of what he would do to you tonight.

“You already know what it is Uce. I got one of the baddest in the game next to me and I’ve been waiting to get my hands on that ass.”

“Ooooo, Jey got all the smoke about you Y/N. You know that ass is viral!!”

Rolling you eyes slightly, you casually smirked as you began to open your mouth. “I got all the smoke behind him too. I’ve been waiting to dig into him for a while.” Your hand left your right thigh as you palmed him through his white sweats, feeling all of his girth.

“Okayyy, Jey how we feeling about that?!!”

“I’m feeling real good about that Uce. Like the feeling is only rising from here.” Removing your hand from his length, you put your head down as you laughed at his comment.

“She bout to be a REALLLL problem Uce!!” Jey’s hand traveled from the back of the couch to your ass as he palmed and massaged it. Returning the favor, you returned your hand back onto his dick.

“Tim, you need to speed this up a little don’t you think?!” Biting your lip and looking Jey dead in his chocolate brown eyes.

“She’s on demon time Jey.”

Jey simply nodded his head at the camera with a smile on his face as you threw your head back in laughter. “But, you gotta show me a little something bae.”

“What you wanna see?!”

Jey intently stared at your chest, barely taking his eyes off of them. “I think he wants to see my tits.” You giggled as you sensually removed your top, letting your breasts out on full display. Jey took a sharp intake of his breath as he admired your ample assets. You played with them first as you stuck your tongue out of your mouth, letting your saliva drip down onto them.

“Why yo ass so scared Jey?!” He quickly snapped out of your trance and gave you a questioning look. “I ain’t ever scared.”

“Prove it.”

Jey dove straight into the middle of your breasts, motorboating himself. You giggled as you took the back of his head into your hands. Things took a sharp turn when he massaged both of your sensitive breasts in his hands and began sucking on each nipples. Covering them in the upmost amount of saliva.

Bringing himself back into an upright position, he sat back and played with your tits. In awe of the dangly Hello Kitty nipple piercing you had on your right tit. “That fuckin’ piercing go crazy Uce, get a closeup on that.” As the cameraman went in to get a closeup, Jey shook your tits from side to side giving himself and the viewers a show.

“He’s having a lot of fun.” Jey gave the camera another sly look as he continued to play with your breasts. “But, I know he’s gonna have more fun with this.” Removing his hands from you, your chest now faces the back of the couch and your knees now pressed up against the seat cushion. You could hear a whistle coming from Jey’s mouth as you gently shook your ass, letting your miniskirt rise showcasing your lovely pink thong.

“This what I’m taking about baby.” Jey bit his lip as his head neared your ass, giving it a wonderful spank, kiss, and caress. “I’m done with this. I’m ready to get in the field.”

“Wow Y/N, I don’t think we’ve ever seen Jey skip over the interview so fast. We got only about four minutes of footage.”

“Four minutes is enough, come baby.” You yelped as Jey took you into his arms and walked to the bed placed off camera.

“I guess I just got the magic touch.”

“Damn right she do. Take that shit off for me mama.”

Tossing you onto the plush bed, you followed his orders and removed your skirt and panties. Your cunt on full display: wet, warm, pink, and soft. You began to play with your pearl as you stared into Jey’s now dark eyes. He slowly started to undo the ties in his sweats. “Keep playing with it baby, I need that pussy real wet when I fuck it.”

Him telling you to continue masturbating in front of him already drove you over the edge, but wanting you real wet when he fucked you, sent you to the moon.

“Unhhh… my pussy’s so wet for you daddy.” Jey was now in his PSD boxers, playing with his clothed cock at the same pace as you. You both stared sensually into each others eyes as Jey finally became nude. Your eyes couldn’t help but to trail down to his massive length, taking in all its magnificent glory.

“Yo ass looking at it real bad, come give it a taste.” Swiftly, you positioned yourself ass up face down as you took his dick into your small hands. Licking at his swollen head, you captured his bead of pre-cum. Closing your eyes and savoring the taste.

Jey’s head leaned back as you enveloped his entire cock into your mouth, all the way to the base. “Fuckkk, that throat ain’t no joke for real.” Not only were you known for your ass, the way you seemed to swallow a dick up so easily was also a topic of discussion.

You sloppily cover his entire length in your saliva, balls and all. You barely even gagged as he reached the back of your throat. Jey’s head lolled back as he revel in the feeling of your throat swallowing him whole like it was nothing. Bobbing your head up and down, twirling circles around his dick, and playing with his balls. “I-I-I-I c-an’t.”

Jey immediately pushed you away as he shivered at the immense amount of pleasure he was receiving, that he had to stop you. “We can’t be going too crazy so fast now. Stay bent over like that baby.” Arching your back even further, Jey assumed the position behind you.

Massaging your ass oh so heavenly. “That ass is something dangerous mama.” Blushing, you began to shake your ass back reaching to feel his dick. He just stood still as he admired your lewd attempts to fuck yourself against him.

Your pussy finally found his cock and you moaned as you gently pushed it into yourself. “Oooo Daddy, that feels so good already.” Jey grabbed your hips in order to get himself inside of you faster. “That pussy so tighttt.”

You bit your lip and looked into the camera as Jey bottomed out into you and began fucking you slowly. “Hey Jey, I swear you got more than that. Give the girl what she wants.”

Jey paused as you looked back at him. “Many girls can’t handle this and then they tap out.”

“I don’t tap out sweetheart. Do your worst.”

Jey pushed your head down into the mattress, as well as pushing your back down slightly more. He spread your legs further and held your juicy hips. He whispered to the camera, “She ain’t ready.”

Jey soon began to absolutely berating your cunt into oblivion. Your nails almost broke as you clawed at the sheets so roughly. Your ass bounced off of his taut abs as if a basketball was being dribbled on a court.

Your screams muffled into the mat as he didn’t cease his ministrations. His hand stayed trained on the back of your head as your nails scratched up his forearm.

“I told you yo’ ass ain’t ready. Tell the world your ass wasn’t ready!!” He pulled your head up as your face was covered in mascara stained tears and forced you to stare into the camera. The cameraman moved to get a closeup. “Tell the world yo’ ass can’t take it.”

Eyes rolled all the way to the back of your head and a big smile on your face, you proudly spoke. “I ca—n take i-i-it wo-rld.” A moan in each break of your sentence as you took Jey’s dick like a champ.

“She lasted longer than the rest, I ain’t gonna lie.” Your head fell back into the sheets as pulled both of your arms to your lower back. You soon began squirting and screaming like a mad woman, nearly as if someone was murdering you.

Well… you were definitely getting murdered in a different way.

“Fuckkkk, baby I’m about to cum. Keep squeezing me just like that.”

Your cunt never stopped clenching as Jey’s cum soon entered your quaking pussy. Jey beat seven hard strokes into your cunt, ensuring that he got every single drop into you.

You shivered as he left the warmth of pussy. You lied back against the bed and but your lip as Jey gave you a sloppy wet kiss.

“How was that guys?!”

“That was cinema.” We said in unison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE END.

I actually think this is my longest fic to date. Why are all my Jey fics so long?!?! I wanna do a Roman fic give some ideas for Big Uce 💝💝🤪!!!

MY TAG SQUAD: @cyberdejos2 @thesamoanqueen @nayys-world @mzv11 @babybatlover @vogueyonce @harlem11680 @seeingstarks @thewarlordsworld @alyyaanna @southerngirl41 @christinabae @pitlissa22 @thealliasylum @fame-ass-ers @iluvthebloodline @jeyusos-girl @ah-fin3sse @solosikoasgf @msbigredmachine @rollinsland @angelicflower2020 @theogsamoanqueen @saintsvenust @angelreigns444

[stvrni0lo]

✩ ABC's

𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞!

—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?)

in public, not much. the most he’ll do is maybe hold pinkies or have an arm around you/on you - but at home he is allll over you. literally will lay his head on your shoulder whenever he can, kisses (esp forehead ones) are a must, too. he basically cannot bear to be away from you when you guys are alone.

—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?)

he’s your boyfriend, but first and foremost, he’s your best friend (corny, whatever). he really values deep relationships with people and if he can’t talk to you like you’re his friend, then he’s most likely not dating you. he wants you guys to be able to goof off and be comfortable around each other. definitely likes to do stupid stuff with you like trying to cook and failing miserably.

—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (how do they like to cuddle?)

you could not waterboard this information out of him but he is 100% the little spoon. he likes to lay his head on your stomach or lap, have your arms around him from behind - all that jazz. he also definitely mumbles in his sleep when you guys cuddle, especially if he’s extremely comfortable. he also loves when you scratch his scalp or back to help him fall asleep. and for you, he likes to draw shapes on your torso with his fingers - it just relaxes him for some reason.

—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?)

matt is definitely a family-oriented person so he knows that if you two end up getting married he’d want to settle down with you and eventually have kids. he helps a lot around the house, especially with things like laundry (duh), dishes, anything that involves cleaning. he hates cooking though, but will do it if it’s necessary - he just prefers your food over his. also hates folding laundry and mopping. he’s mostly a dishes, laundry, vacuum kinda guy.

—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how would breakups work out?)

he wouldn’t hold any resentment or hard feelings (unless it ended badly). basically very civil. generally i think he wouldn’t go out of his way to contact you if things break off, but he’ll occasionally check on you or ask your friends about you if he can. he’d still hold some love for you in his heart, but ultimately he wouldn’t really want to stay friends.

—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how do they feel about commitment?)

absolutely knows he’s going to marry you some day if you guys are long term. he wouldn’t be a fan of getting married young but if you guys are still together in the future he could see himself being with you for the rest of his life. commitment is a big deal to him and i think he’d appreciate someone who is the same.

—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?)

it’s matt like… he’s a sweetheart. he doesn’t treat you like you’re fragile, but more like you’re something special to be admired. you’ll catch him staring at you all lovey dovey sometimes to which he’d blush and turn away from. other times he’ll caress your cheeks before going in to peck you on the forehead or lips. all in all he leaves feather light touches everywhere he goes (because he knows you deserve to be treated with care and love).

—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (do they like hugs?)

is this even a question? he may not be all that touchy with his friends or with you in public but if you offer a hug he can never deny it. he’s a sucker for having you close to him. he likes feeling cherished and safe, and that’s how he feels when you embrace him. you are the living embodiment of his safe space.

—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how long does it take them to say the ‘l word?’)

i think it would take him a while to say it out loud. it’s not that he didn’t develop those feelings - he actually knew he loved you pretty early on into the relationship. he just doesn’t want to scare you off by saying it too soon, so he actually waits for you to say it first. but once that first ‘i love you’ passes, he’s saying it all the time. in his good morning texts, whenever he leaves for a meeting, whenever he ends a call. all. the. time.

—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (how do they get jealous?)

matt doesn’t get jealous often. he trusts you wholeheartedly and he expects the same from you. the only time he would get jealous is if you were like overly touchy with a friend or something, but other than that he really isn’t worried about stuff like that. he knows you love your friends and you show that through affection - he would never in a million years be jealous of that. not when he knows that you’re his, and he’s yours.

—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (what's their kissing schedule?)

sorry to burst the bubble here but i honestly don’t think he’d be a big kisser. he loves to kiss your hands, forehead, cheeks, etc. but kissing on the lips is only reserved for when you guys are chilling in his room alone. ofc if you ask for one or initiate it he won’t decline - because he does enjoy kissing you. he just prefers to keep that stuff private, so on a day-to-day basis it won’t really happen often since you guys are almost always with his brothers.

—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?)

he definitely adores kids, he just finds them so adorable. kids love him because of his calm nature, and he’ll happily do whatever with them if it means it’ll make them laugh or smile - even if it’s a princess makeover. however, he does get a little awkward sometimes since he’s not sure how to act around other people’s kids, but he’s still an absolute angel to them.

—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how will your mornings go?)

usually if he wakes up before you he’ll scroll on tiktok while stroking your hair. he likes to enjoy the mornings with you since it’s one of the only times you two can be fully alone. you guys will watch videos or listen to a podcast or something while you cuddle and get ready for the day. he also loves brushing his teeth with you - he just melts for domestic stuff like that because it makes him feel like you guys already live together.

—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how will your nights go?)

typically he’ll get you guys some food before calling it a night and retreating to his room. he’ll put on a movie or a show that you both strictly ONLY watch together. you guys will cuddle up and make dumb jokes about what’s going on on the TV. this always ends up with you two fallen asleep before the end of the movie, the low buzz of dialogue like a lullaby in the background.

—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they tell you about themselves?)

if you start off as friends i think he opens up way faster than if you don’t. due to the fact that you’d be hanging around him and his friends and brothers, he’d open up way easier because he feels comfortable around the company that you’re in. he’ll still take a while, but he definitely becomes more talkative before you enter a relationship - since he believes that you both shouldn’t go into dating each other blindly. he wants you to know the ugliest parts of him, and him you. that way he’ll know he really wants to be with you, because you’ll accept him for who he is - and vice versa. he’s very in tune with his emotions. although it would take him a while to feel comfortable crying in front of you (not because he’s ashamed, but he physically can’t cry in front of people).

—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they with you?)

this man needs an award for his patience. matt has had enough experience with his brothers to have mastered the art of it. but also, he just doesn’t like the idea of pressuring you. if you don’t want to do something, or go somewhere - he will immediately accept it, no questions asked. if you stutter a lot or just have trouble speaking he’s always there to help you, no matter how frustrated you are. also, this goes without saying, but he’s extremely understanding and patient of any mental health problems you have.

—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much do they remember about you?)

i feel like i don’t even have to say anything. he remembers every little detail about you. your favourite colour, your mom’s maiden name, your childhood pet’s name. he knows what you’re afraid of, where you like to eat, he remembers every important date of your relationship - and any significant dates for you, too. he writes them down in his journal so he remembers but he honestly doesn’t have to. it’s like he has a little file reserved just for you in his brain because he knows everything.

—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (what is his favorite moment in your relationship?)

it would definitely have to be right before you two got together. his most vivid memory of your early relationship is the first time that you guys had a genuine, deep conversation together. you were sat by the pool late at night, both of your feet dangling in the water below you as you spilled your souls to each other. that was coincidentally also the night that he first held your hand and asked you on a date.

—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they of you?)

he’s protective, but not in a male alpha toxic way. he just wants to know that you’re safe and happy. he’ll always drive you home and wait for you to get inside before he drives off - if you’re out with your friends and you need a ride, he’s there, if you go home with a taxi he asks you to update him so he knows you’re okay. if, on the off chance that you absolutely have to walk, he’ll stay on face-time with you with your location shared on his phone so that he can make sure you make it home alright.

—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into dates? special occasions?)

plans dates literally weeks in advance. he always just wants things to be 100% perfect for you because you deserve nothing less. he loves to surprise you with nice things if you're going out for your anniversary or birthday. also he's just a sucker for seeing you all smiley and giddy so he will sit and plans for a month if that's what it takes. one month he couldn't make it back home in time for your birthday (so he said) but that morning you woke up to him cuddled into your side, his luggage at the end of the bed. apparently he "made some adjustments" so that he could come and see you.

— 'U' IS FOR UGLY (what's a bad habit of theirs?)

he bites his nails. a lot. that’s why he always asks you to paint his nails with him; it helps him stop nibbling on them. it’s usually because of his anxiety but over the years it just became a habit that he hasn’t been able to kick. he’s tried several remedies but the only thing that seems to help is painting his nails nicely - because then they’re just too pretty to ruin!

—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they?)

he doesn’t get insecure often but when he does it’s bad. he’d get really anxious, and he’d probably feel a little stupid for it - he’ll always eventually let you know what’s going on if it does happen. you’re the only person that can really comfort him when this occurs, because his brothers don’t really know what to say to bring his ego up, especially if it’s about his looks or how he is as a boyfriend. overall though, he doesn’t get insecure about your relationship too much. he knows he’s a great boyfriend, and he knows that you love him just as much as he loves you.

—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?)

again, not even a question. similar to how he feels when he’s without nick and chris (but to a lesser extent) is how he feels when you’re not around. he just feels like he’s not whole. especially if he sees something he knows you’d find funny or enjoy and you’re not there to experience it with him he’ll get a little upset - mostly when he’s on tour and you can’t come.

—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (a random headcanon about them?)

i think he’d love if you drew on him - and also head scratches. he’ll sometimes just straight up ask you to doodle on him when you’re bored. he really just loves to see what you come up with, and he likes sporting around your drawings like a badge of honour. also if you give him head scratches and have your nails done? he’s a goner.

—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (what are some things they dislike?)

he absolutely hates hates hates being messy. sure, he’ll leave his shoes lying around occasionally or forget to throw wrappers away - he’s not a saint - but he always goes back and fixes it/cleans it up. he just can’t stand being in a dirty environment. also, he doesn’t really put many condiments on his food. if he does it’s like… minuscule.

—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (some of their sleeping habits?)

as i mentioned before, matt is a mumbler. he won’t say flat out sentences but you’ll catch him sleepily muttering gibberish before he falls back asleep and is knocked out cold. he also likes to sleep in. he could not be an early bird if he tried. i feel like he also likes to curl up when he sleeps, especially if you’re cuddling. he’ll curl up into your side, or both of you will, whilst facing each other, blankets up to your chins as you fall into a peaceful slumber.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @lollibumblebee @dwntwn-strnlo @st4rgzer @20nugs @thetriplets3 @sunshinewwx @gwenlore @gabbylovesreading @ssturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @mxqdii @slaysturniolo @rainsoakedphoenix @querenciasturniolo

©𝐬𝐭𝐯𝐫𝐧𝐢𝟎𝐥𝐨

[straylightdream]

I think I like you - 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠

Bang Chan x f.reader

friends to lover, mutual pining, college au

↳ I’ll be right here waiting for us.

word count: 10.4k 

warnings: angst, rumors of cheating, mutual pining, friends to lovers, protected sex, dirty talk, names such as: (baby), begging, first time having sex, talks about (loss virginity, creampie, and breeding kinks, Chan comments about in the future knocking the mc up, and unprotected sex) dry humping, choking, it’s sappy they’ve loved each other for years.

an: this is connected to Open Mind my Changbin story and Strawberry Latte my Jisung story, and there will be more for the other boys here. You don’t have to read that one to understand this story, it can be read as a one shot. This story is heavily inspired by “I Think I Like You” by The Band Camino and Waiting For Us by SKZ. Here is a playlist of other songs. Thank you @sulfurcosmos​ for all your help on this.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

-NOW - 

Another shitty breakup for the books. This break up involves a boy named Minyoung who is telling you all about how he doesn’t feel comfortable with the fact your three main friends are boys. Your three month relationship is coming to a spiraling end right in front of your eyes. This argument started all because you said you would prefer to not go bar hopping on a friday night. You needed to study and Chan offered to order take out and help you study for your big test. The following statement him is what really caught you off guard, “maybe I don’t trust you because it’s clear you and Chan have fucked in the past, and obliviously he still wants you.” How do you even respond to that? You’ve never done anything with Chan that would lead him to believe you’ve slept with him. Technically you and Chan have had sex before but it was a long time ago. It was freshman year of college when you were both freshly eighteen, you decided to lose your virginity to each other. Since that fateful night you hadn’t done anything sexual together since. You’re confused on how he could of possibly known that you had sex with Chan all those years ago. You’ve never told anyone and Chan at max has told Changbin and Jisung, two people who weren’t a fan of Minyoung so there is no way they would have told him.

Since your early teen years Chan had always been a part of your life and anyone you dated was just going to have to accept it. You would always pick Chan over any boy. 

-THEN-

Summer nights with Chan were always something you had cherished. Since you met him that summer before freshman year of High School when your newly divorced Father moved you to a completely new city for High School. Your father was a heartbroken man desperately wanting a fresh start for the two of you. He lived on the same street you moved to. His mother dragged him to your house to introduce themselves the first day the moving vans showed up. That was the day you met a beautiful boy with a mop of golden fluffy curls on his head and from there the rest was history. You were inseparable when he took you into his friend group with Changbin and Jisung. That summer you spent countless nights staying up late. Many hot afternoons were spent in his pool with Changbin and Jisung. You were absolutely inseparable from your new best friend. 

The summer before college was when you realized you didn’t just have a crush on your best friend, you were indeed desperately in love with him. Many days you find yourself getting distracted as you listen to him passionately talk about the different things he loves. 

Laying on a towel next to Changbin you watch Chan and Jisung swim around in Chan’s pool. Laying on your stomach you prop your chin up on your hand. Most of your summer had been spent with these three boys. Many sunny afternoons you found yourself in Chan’s backyard. 

Changbin groans standing up stretching his body. Recently the boys have taken up working whenever they can, so Changbin who used to be skinny with a narrow jaw started filling out. You can’t help but think about how young you were when you met these boys. 

“Bin and YN you better come in,” Chan shouts before diving back into the pool. 

“You heard him Bambi let’s get in the pool,” Changbin says, referring to you as your nickname they’ve been calling you since your first winter together when you rolled your ankle on the ice. Most people probably wouldn’t be fond about having a nickname that focused on how you were clumsy but there was something about them calling you Bambi you found sweet. 

Taking his hand you stand up adjusting your bathing. This is the first summer you’ve worn a two piece that exposes more of your body. You’ve caught all three of them staring at your exposed skin. Jisung and Changbin were a little more open about watching you then Chan. The one time you caught his eyes locked on your boobs and he quickly looked away with the tops of his ears burning bright red. Walking closer to the edge of the pool you dipped your foot testing the water. 

“Just jump in,” Jisung shouted as he splashed Chan. 

“Let’s go Bambi,” Changbin came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, hugging you from behind. He jumped in holding on to you. The chilled water felt amazing against your sun kissed skin from this hot summer day. He releases you as soon as you’re fully underwater. You take a moment relaxing under the water before swimming up to the surface in the deep end. You breach the water and you find Chan swimming right in front of you. Kicking your feet you reach out touching the beautiful golden skin on his shoulder. He smiles reaching up to push the water away from his face.  

He’s so beautiful and he doesn’t seem to know it. You forget all about Changbin and Jisung who are fighting in the shallow end as you swim in place in the deep end with Chan. 

“Can you believe this is our last summer home?” He brings up the same thing you have been thinking about for weeks.

“I mean we can come home during the summer,” you know going to a school further away means you won’t be home very often. 

“We can, but at least we’ll have each other so no matter where we go it still feels like home,” he smiles. Everything about Chan feels like home to you. You love your father and your friends Jisung and Changbin, but Chan is the person who truly feels like home to you. You would go anywhere and stay anywhere with him. 

You couldn’t be happier that you chose to go to the same University as Chan. Your father was sad that you would be moving away for school, but he was happy to know you would have Chan there to look after you. 

That summer you spent with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung was the best summer of your life. 

When summer came to close it was finally time to start college together. Freshman year you lived on campus with Angel, a sweet girl with a creative spirit. She soon became one of your great friends and immediately joined your friend group along with Changbin new roommate Minho. Many nights that first year of college you found yourself with Chan by your side. Many times you fell asleep in his dorm and would lie in his bed with him rambling on about anything you could think of. 

After one drunken night with your friend group a drunk clingy Chan informed you of his still very much intact virginity that seemed to be weighing on his mind. You and Chan had always talk about a lot of things in your life, but one thing you never talked about was either of your past sexual experiences or lack there of for Chan. In the whole time you’ve been friends you can only think of one girl Chan gave the time of day to. He liked Rachel back in senior year of high school but after going to formal together it quickly fizzled out. That was the only dance you didn’t go to with him. Instead you ended up going with Changbin who could tell you were hurt that Chan didn’t ask you.

-NOW-

Standing in Chan and Jisung’s house you wondered if you made a mistake going out. Even though you weren't head over heels in love with Minyoung, getting broken up with still hurts. You gave three months of your life to a guy who wasn’t ever going to fully trust your relationship with your best friend.

Someone comes up behind you wrapping their arms around your soft stomach pulling you into their chest. There is only one person that manhandles you like this. You look back to see Changbin holding you.

“Hey Bin,” you smile as he releases you.

“Where did Chan and Jisung go?” 

“Jisung library girl just texted him telling him she's walking up, and last time I saw Chan he was heading off towards the kitchen.”

“Is your study buddy coming tonight?” you ask. Changbin told you in class today about the girl he’s been chasing after. She’s the first girl that has really seemed to tame Changbin and fully capture his attention. Since they started ‘studying’ Changbin hasn’t really been talking to anyone else. This girl seems to be the only person he cares about.

“I don’t know I might have scared her off,” he sighs looking down.

“I told you not tell her that you should just fuck already,” you can’t help but laugh at how blunt Changbin decided to be. After everything he has told you about her you aren’t shocked that blunt statement scared her. 

“Yeah I know. I think I scared her off. I asked her to come here if she wanted something more.”

“Oh Changbin,” you pat his shoulder. “Where did Angel go with Minho? She said they were going out but wouldn’t give me details. She said they had these plans before Chan and Jisung planned this party.”

“I think they’re going to get dinner and then just having sex to be honest. They know they have the apartment to themselves basically all night because Hyunjin came with me. So they can be as loud as they want.���

“Do they still not know that we know?” There was one fateful night you and Changbin accidentally found both of Changbin’s  two roommates having sex in Angel’s room. The door wasn’t fully shut and you and Changbin stopped by his house so he could grab his laptop. You and Changbin made a pack that you wouldn’t tell anyone until Angel and Minho told the group. What was going on with them didn’t concern anyone else in the group. 

“They have no clue and I don’t think Hyunjin knows. His room is the furthest away from either of them. I’ve seen Minho sneak into her room once since. Hyunjin asked what they were doing tonight and I just told him they have plans.”

“We should go find Chan,” you say, leading Changbin off towards the kitchen where you find Chan pulling liquor out of the cupboard.

“Chan can you make me a drink?” you say catching his attention.

“What do you want?” He asks. 

“Surprise me.”

Your phone in the back pocket of your jeans starts vibrating. Pulling out your phone you’re surprised to see Angel’s name. You excuse yourself from this kitchen. Walking upstairs towards Chan’s room attempting to get away from the noisy party so you can answer the phone. 

“Angel what’s up?”

“Hey YN,” she says. 

“Is everything okay with Minho?” she doesn’t normally call you. You always text about everything. 

“Minho and I were getting dinner when we ran into Minyoung and his dumb ass friends.” Angel went on to tell you all about how your ex was running his mouth. You didn’t care that he blamed you for the breakup. You cared that he’s bringing Chan into this by lying and saying you cheated on him with your best friend. Before hanging up she lets you know that Minho did defend you which made you smile. You asked her to tell Minho not to tell Chan about what your ex is saying.

Sitting on the edge of Chan’s bed you don’t understand how your ex can just go around lying. If he wants to blame you for the break up that’s fine, in the last month you hadn’t been as available to hang out as he was. You had been so focused on school, and it was hard worrying about someone else and trying to be a good girlfriend. But you can’t stand him lying that you were cheating on him. 

Shoving your phone into the front pocket of your jeans you head back downstairs. You find Chan still in the kitchen with Changbin, but now Jisung and the girl that holds his attention are standing in there with them. Jisung looks absolutely smitten as he is hugging his library girl from behind. 

Walking to the entry to the kitchen you say, “Hey Chan, can I talk to you?”

He looks up at you immediately. You’ve always had these moments with Chan when you look into his warm eyes and suddenly the room feels empty. He looks at you like he knows what you’re thinking and even if you’re upset or anxious you know it will be okay. Because no matter what he’s going to be there. How did you even live before you met him? Was existing even possible before the boy with dimples entered your life. Here you are standing in this crowded house party at his and Jisung’s place. You just got off the phone with Angel telling you that she ran into Minyoung and he decided to tell her and Minho you cheated on him with Chan. You should be absolutely furious he’s spreading this lie, but instead you don’t care. 

Chan tilts his head to the side as he walks out of the kitchen directly towards you. You’re frozen as he gets closer to you. He stops right in front of you tilting his head as if he’s studying you. 

“Who called?” He breaks the silence between you. 

“Angel did. She’s out with Minho getting dinner and ran into Minyoung who was running his mouth.” You decide to leave out the part about him saying you cheated on him with Chan. You can tell him about that later when you don’t have to worry about him getting angry at his party. 

“What did he say?”

“Nothing he’s just blaming me for our relationship not working out,” you’re upset but you don’t want Chan to know you are. Your failed relationship troubles shouldn’t fall back on him. You’ve been through enough shitty break ups while in college, Chan doesn’t constantly need to know about your boy problems. The whole time he’s been your best friend you’ve never heard him complain about girl problems. 

“Are you okay?” He knows you're not. He can tell you’re upset. 

“Yeah it’s just annoying. We broke up so I don’t get why he is running his mouth.”

You stand there talking to Chan for a little while before some friends from Chan’s music class challenge Jisung and Hyunjin to a game of beer pong. You walk over sitting on the couch against the wall. Chan joins you shortly after sitting close to you like he always does. You watch the game unfold and you can’t help but pay attention to the way Jisung is with his date. He seems so adorably nervous around her. 

Chan catches your attention when he reaches out and takes your hand in his the same way he always does. He’s leaning in close because he wants to talk to you loud enough for only you to hear. “Sungie seems smitten,” he points out how into this girl his roommate seems to be into. 

“What's her name?” 

“Honey,” his thumb slowly draws across the top of your hand. 

You take a deep breath leaning in even closer to him. You don’t know why you suddenly want to cry. Maybe it’s because you’re hurt about the whole situation with your ex. Or maybe it’s because not long ago you saw Changbin’s study buddy head up stairs, and in front of you you’re watching Jisung slowly fall in love with the girl from the library. Two of your three best friends are getting to be with the two people they seem to be head over heels for, and yet you don’t know what that's like. Sure the boy you’re head over heels for is holding your hand as you lean against him, but the intimacy stops there. You don’t get to kiss him goodnight and tell him about how you truly feel. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. The tears that are threatening to fall are because you’re jealous. 

“Jisung seems really happy,” you whisper.

Bringing the red cup to your lips to take a drink of the strong liquid Chan made for you. You can feel his eyes on you as you hold your eyes closed. He squeezes your hand catching your attention. Bringing the cup down you look at him and he looks sad as he’s staring back at you. 

“I don’t want you to drive tonight. Just stay here with me?”

“Channie this couch hurts my back,” you sigh thinking back to the many nights you’ve fallen asleep during movie nights on this couch.

“No I’m not asking you to sleep on the couch, we can both sleep in my room.”

“Is Jisung room still pretty soundproof?” you ask knowing that Changbin isn’t the quietest when he’s in bed. You would really prefer not to hear another one of your friends having sex. 

“Yeah, we soundproof both our rooms so we wouldn’t have to worry about keeping it down while we were working on tracks.”

There is a small part of you that wants to tell him you shouldn’t stay the night, but your heart is telling you to say yes. After the week you’ve had there is nothing more you want then to cuddle with Chan. You haven’t had a sleepover or cuddled in probably five months.

It’s not long before Jisung and his girl leave the house, leaving Chan in charge of everyone in the house. Around 3:30 in the morning is when everyone finally leaves the house. Hyunjin stays behind to help you and Chan clean up some. You listen as he and Chan talk. Hyunjin is talking about a girl who lives with Felix that caught his interest. Last time you got lunch with Felix he was telling you about his new roommate who was a trust fund girl who was rebelling against her father. According to Felix “she’s sweet but a hot mess.”

“Hyunjin, I thought you said you can’t be distracted while you work on your collection for that exhibit?”

“Nothing has happened Chan, and I highly doubt she knows I exist. The last time I saw her she stumbled into the apartment wasted and Felix had class he couldn’t miss so I took care of her. I left as soon as Felix got home. I’m pretty sure she forgot I took care of her.”

Hyunjin is a sweet boy who wears his heart on his sleeve and you can tell if he gets involved with this girl she might hurt him. 

You finish cleaning up the house and Hyunjin finally heads home around 4:30. Heading upstairs with Chan he lets out a loud yawn. You turn back and look at him smiling at how sleepy he looks. You walk down the small hallway to where Chan’s room is. As you open the door to walk inside you hear Jisung’s door open. You and Chan turn and watch as Changbin who is only dressed in his boxer-briefs walks out into the small hallway. He turns and looks at Chan with a grin on his face.

“I need to get two bottles of water,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

Chan follows Changbin as they head downstairs. You go into Chan’s room and set your phone down on the nightstand before heading to the bathroom. You use the restroom and brush your teeth with the toothbrush you leave at Chan’s. Walking out of the bathroom you run into Changbin’s study buddy. You can tell she’s had quite the night with Changbin. Her hair is messy and she's dressed in nothing but Changbin’s shirt he had been wearing to the party and panties. Her cheeks burn bright as she pulls the shirt down covering as much of her body as possible. 

“You’re fine. Chan and Changbin went downstairs and nobody else is in the house,” you reassure her. “I’m YN by the way,” you give her an awkward wave.

“I’m Kitten,” you can tell she is nervous and a little flustered, but lord only knows what her and Changbin have been doing in that bedroom. “Are you Chan’s best friend?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Yeah,” you wonder if Changbin had mentioned you to her.

“I should probably use the restroom before Chan comes up and sees me like this.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say before walking off into Chan’s room. 

His room will always make you smile. He’s got his expensive computer set up against the wall and his bed is against the opposite wall. He doesn’t have many decorations in his room outside his lights that he got as a gift from his friend Felix that hang above his bed. On his dresser there are two photos framed, one of him, Changbin and Jisung, and the second photo was of the two of you. You’re both only seventeen in this photo. You had spent a long day at the pool. Chan’s curls were extra crazy and your hair was messy from the pool water. You’re dressed in your bathing suit bottoms and wearing Chan’s favorite hoodie, while he’s in swim trunks and shirtless from the waist up. His arms are wrapped around you hugging you from behind. When this photo was taken Chan told you he would always keep this no matter where he went.

You reach into Chan’s dresser pulling out one of his oversized shirts and a pair of his shorter gym shorts. You strip down to your underwear before getting changed. Crawling into Chan’s bed you wait for him to come back upstairs.

The door cracks open and Chan comes in. Without a single word he pulls off his shirt tossing it in the hamper by the door. You try to open your phone to keep yourself busy but you can’t help but watch Chan as he turns his back to you and he pulls off his tight jeans. He’s left standing there in his tight black supreme boxer briefs. His beautiful toned back is on full display. He pulls on his pajama pants and before turning around you make sure you’re looking away.

Pulling the blankets back he crawls into bed next to you. It’s been so long since you had a sleepover with him. You aren’t sure how you used to hold yourself back from kissing him. 

You move to get comfortable laying on your side facing Chan.

“YN?” he asks, laying on his side staring at you.

“Yeah Chan?”

“Why are you sad?” He reaches out, flipping your hand over. That’s a loaded question he asked you, but he doesn’t know it is.

“I’m just hurt about my breakup,” he traces little figures into the palm of your hand. There's a long moment of silence that takes over the room. 

“Did you love him?” he asks looking up at you. 

You stare at him taking in the features of his beautiful face. No man will ever compare to the man whose bed you’re laying in. “I don’t think I have ever loved any of the boys I have ever dated.” Since freshman year of college until now the second semester of Senior year you have dated four guys. None of the relationships lasted more than six months. It’s hard to fall in love when you’ve always loved your best friend.

“Minyoung didn’t deserve you,” he says, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“We should sleep Channie. It’s five in the morning.”

“We should,” he brings your hand up to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the top of your hand.

It’s not long before Chan falls asleep, but you can’t fall asleep no matter how hard you try. Laying in Chan’s bed you’re staring at his bare back. You aren’t sure how much longer you can go through him not knowing how you feel. There is a part of you that knows he has to have feelings for you, but part of you is absolutely afraid of rejection. You can’t risk losing him as your best friend.

-THEN-

On a chilly November evening Freshman year you were laying on Chan’s bed as he was sitting at his desk working on a new song he had been working on all week, you stared at your art history homework. Your brain was hurting from all the studying you had been doing for a huge quiz you had on thursday. Closing your book you stared at Chan who seemed completely lost in his own world. He had one headphone covering one of his ears.

“Channie?” You say loud enough for him to hear you over his music. 

He takes his headphones fully off, setting them down the desk. Spinning around in his desk chair so he’s facing you fully. His curls are extra messy from his pushing his fingers through them. He’s wearing a zip up hoodie that is unzipped low enough for you to tell he isn’t wearing a shirt. 

“Can I ask you something?” There had been something weighing on your mind since that drunken night Chan talked about still being a virgin. You move so you’re sitting cross legged on Chan’s bed.

“Yeah you can ask me anything?”

“Are you happy still being a virgin?” You didn’t know how to sugarcoat your question so you got straight to the point. His ear instantly turned a bright shade of red as he stared at you looking shocked. 

“Um-um-um,” he was nervously stuttering. 

“I’m a virgin too and I’m just wondering why everyone makes such a big deal about saving it for someone special.” You had thought about your virginity long before Chan’s drunken confession, but since finding out he was as well you thought about it even more. You had an opportunity to lose your v card at a graduation party with Hyunjae, a cute boy who spent the whole entire party flirting with you. You even had quite an intense makeout session with him in the pool house while he felt you up under your bra. He even asked you to go all the way. 

He blinks at you like he can’t figure out what he wants to say. There is something so adorable about him when he’s absolutely flustered like he is right now. 

“Do you want to sex with someone?” He says, sounding absolutely flustered. 

That’s the complicated thing, it’s just not somebody. You had been thinking about it since you graduated, that you wanted your first time to be with your best friend. “Chan, do you still want to be a virgin?” 

“YN- I-” he pauses and you know he’s trying to figure out exactly what he should say to you. “I don’t want my first time to just be with some random girl.”

You wished you didn’t have to directly tell him you want your first time to be with him, but he’s so nervous you don’t think he will pick up on your hints. “Chan, what if your first time was with me?” This is the chance to be brave and tell Chan exactly what you want.

His mouth opens and quickly as he stares at you again with his eyes wide. Reaching back he scratches the back of his neck. 

Looking down at your lap you play with the sleeve of your hoodie, nervous that you might have made a mistake. “We’ve never even kissed,” he finally speaks.

“What if we kissed now?” you move so you’re sitting on the edge of the bed with your feet resting on the hardwood floor. 

A screaming silence takes over the room as he stands up. He looks so soft as he stands in front of you. He’s dressed in his gym shorts he wore when he went to work out with Changbin. He steps closer to you holding his hand out. Without another thought you stand in front of him taking his hand for a moment. There isn't much space between you. Your eyes are locked on his warm one. He’s looking at you like he does all the time, like you're the light in a dark room. Taking a deep breath you wonder what happens next. Reaching up you make a move resting your hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes leaning into your touch. His thumb drags across the delicate skin on your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” you whisper.

“YN?”

“Yeah Channie?”

He leans forward and there is barely any space between your lips. You’ve never been this close to his lips, even on the nights you’ve fallen asleep in bed. He’s never been this close to your lips. “Are you sure you want me to be your first?”

Silently you nod. You swallow slowly, “you’re important to me.”

“What if I’m terrible at having sex?” he’s just as nervous as you are that you won’t be good at this.

“I want my first time with you? We can learn together what to do.”

He leans forward and his lips touch yours for the first time. His soft lips taste like his peppermint chapstick that has always been in his backpack. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pull him even closer to you. Your body feels alive as your lips move together. You back him up until the back of his legs hit his computer chair. He sits down and pulls you down so you’re straddling his thighs. You continue your heated makeout session. Your lips only part for him to pull off your hoodie. Once you remove your bra you’re sitting on his lap completely bare from the waist up. His hand roams all over your body as your lips continue to move together. You learn quickly the sound of Chan moaning as you grind your core against his strained gym shorts is music to your ears.

It’s not long before both of you are fully naked and laying on his bed. Chan had managed to get the condom that Changbin gave him on their first day of college. He hovers over you with a goofy smile on his face. Reaching up you push your fingers through his fluffy curls. 

“If this is terrible, promise me you won't hate me,” he says brushing his nose against yours.

“I could never hate you Chan.”

Your first time together wasn’t perfect by any means. Chan struggled a little to find a rhythm and a couple clumsy kisses led to your noses bumping. He finished a little earlier than he would have wanted to but it was okay because you found your own release shortly after with the help of his finger. It wasn’t earth shattering sex by any means, but that's okay because you preferred your first time be slightly awkward and clumsy, because it was with Chan and that’s what was important. 

Laying there in his bed dressed in nothing but your hoodie and panties you knew that even though you loved Chan with your whole heart no matter what happened in life you needed him by your side even if he was just your friend.

Your first time together didn’t lead to some confession of undying love, you didn’t even have the nerve to admit you liked him as more than a friend. But that was okay because he was still the most important person in your life.

-NOW-

Two weeks have passed since your sleepover with Chan and you’ve been with him pretty nonstop. He’s been trying his hardest to do things that make you smile. You’ve been trying your hardest to not think about your break up. 

One night you had a movie night over Changbin’s house with him, and his new girl Kitten, Angel and Minho. Hyunjin was busy doing something with Felix and couldn’t join, and Jisung was on a date with Honey and asked Chan if he could have the house to himself. 

Sitting on the couch between Changbin and Chan you distracted yourself the whole movie by paying attention to the way Changbin would hold Kitten’s hand and every so often lean over and kiss her. It made you smile finally seeing Changbin somewhat tame now that he’s with his study buddy. You kept glancing up at Angel and Minho who would touch each other’s hands for a few seconds here and there. Since finding out they were at least sleeping together you’ve become aware of their lingering touches and how close they are. 

Chan reaches over resting his hand on your thigh. Looking over him he smiles before leaning over and whispering, “can I crash in your living room tonight. I don’t know what Jisung has planned with Honey.”

“Of course.” You know he’s not going to sleep in your living room. He never does, he’ll sleep in your bed just like he always does. 

The moment the movie ends Changbin disappears with Kitten grabbing her hand pulling her off to his room. Chan went off to Minho's room so he could show him something while you went to the kitchen with Angel. 

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a coffee cup. She grabbed you one and worked on making you each a cup of tea. 

“Are you going to dare sleeping in the room next to Changbin’s tonight?” You know that Changbin’s room isn’t soundproofed like Jisung’s so if Angel slept in her room she would most likely hear noises from Changbin and his girl that she probably wouldn't want to.

“Oh god no. Minho offered to hang out with me, and I could sleep on the couch in the living room.” She’s completely oblivious to the fact that you know she’s hooking up with Minho.  

“Is Chan coming to your place tonight?” She asked, handing you a cup of tea. 

“Yeah, Jisung has some special date with Honey planned.”

“Have you decided if you’re applying for your grad school program?” For the last week and half deciding on if you were going to grad school had been weighing on your mind.  You know you have your apartment lease for another year so even if you don’t go to grad school you can still live near all your friends. Chan already told you Jisung and him were staying in the city and gonna work on producing more music and Changbin already has an internship at a record label. 

“I think I’m gonna do it. I want to get into publishing and grad school can help. What about you?”

“I’m putting my app in for nursing school so hopefully it goes well. I think Minho mentioned grad school. He’s like you, he's trying to figure out the next step. I told him he should really try to become a teacher like he wants to.”

Chan comes into the kitchen with Minho right behind him. He walks over and rests his head on your shoulder. It’s pushing midnight and you can tell he’s tired. 

“I think I need to get this guy home,” you lean your head against his. 

“Angel we should watch another movie, I figure by the time that movie is over maybe Changbin will have worn himself out,” Minho reaches over and takes Angel’s cup from her hands. 

The drive back to your place is pretty short. Chan parks in the same spot he always does. You head up to your apartment and he takes off his shoes and stretches his tired body. The hem of his shirt rising up exposing just enough of his beautiful skin between the hem of his shirt and his jeans.

“Did you want me to sleep on the couch?” He yawns. 

You should say yes, because maybe if he does you can work on trying to turn off your feelings you have for him, and maybe some of this building tension between you could dissipate. 

Shaking your head, “no why don’t you crawl into bed. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

He heads off to your room and you head off to the bathroom. Your body feels super tense and you’re hoping a shower can help relax you finally. You’re happy to see your pajamas are still left in the bathroom from this morning. Opening the sliding glass door of the shower you turn on the warm water. 

Stripping away your clothes you step into the warm water. You try your hardest not to get your hair wet attempting to just wash your body and let the warm water relieve your tense muscles. Standing there you try to shut your brain off but all you can think of is Chan. Since Minyoung broke up with you and brought up your friendship with Chan you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. You would be lying to yourself if you said you thought you could have ever loved Minyoung or any of your other exes for that matter.

Getting out of the shower you dry off and get dressed for bed. Walking into your room you see a very peaceful looking Chan dresses in just his sleep shorts he always leaves at your place. He’s curled up under the covers on the side he always sleeps on. He’s already sound asleep. Crawling into bed you lay on your side looking at him. You watch him as he slowly breathes. You want to reach out and hold him but you can’t. There’s this little part of you that wonders what would happen if you could stop loving him. You wonder if things would be easier. Maybe you could date someone and actually fall in love with them. There is this little nagging voice asking what would've happened if you would have fallen in love with either Jisung or Changbin if they would love you back or want to be with you.

Reaching out your rest, your hand on top of Chan’s that is on the bed between you. Your thumb runs across the skin on top of his hand like he does to you when he’s listening to you talk.

“Why can’t we be together?” you whisper to yourself.

You fall asleep shortly after thinking of your best friend like you always did.

-THEN-

Senior Winter Formal was something you had been looking forward to since the first day of senior year. Sitting in Jisung’s room you listen as Jisung is talking about how he asked out a girl from his science class. The formal was in two weeks, usually by now Chan has already asked you to be his date. Since Winter Formal was announced you haven’t even heard Chan mention it. You hadn’t bought a dress or anything for the dance.

“Changbin, who are you going with?” Jisung asks, throwing himself down on the bed next to you.

Changbin is lounging against the wall next to you on the bed. He looks at Jisung, narrowing his eyes, “Sungie I haven’t really thought about it. I’ll go solo if anything.”

“What about you YN?” Jisung asks, hitting your foot.

You look over at Chan who is sitting in a Jisung’s desk chair messaging someone on his phone. He’s seemed super distracted these last two weeks. Normally by now Chan would chime in and tell the boys he was going with you, but his silence was deafening. You swallow realizing he’s not taking you. You can’t explain it but you suddenly feel like you’re about to cry.

“I don’t have a date,” you try your hardest to force a smile.

Jisung rolls off the bed. Looking down at your lap you try your hardest to fight back the tears that keep trying to fall. Changbin nudges your leg with his, capturing your attention. Looking up at him he gives you a sad smile.

“Channie, do you have a date? I can’t be the only one here with a date,” Jisung pesters.

Chan closes his phone and looks up at Jisung who is standing in front of him. He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah I just asked Rachel and she said she would go with me.” There it is, he’s found another girl he would rather go with then you. Closing your eyes you push back the tears threatening to fall. Your chest hurts realizing that Chan has someone he likes.

Changbin's hand rests on your knee giving it a quick squeeze. “Bambi?” He says barely loud enough for the other boys to hear.

“Did you need a ride home?” 

“Yeah I should probably go home for dinner,” you get off the bed. You want to get out of this room so badly. You can’t let Chan and Jisung know you’re upset because Chan is going out with someone else.

“My mom asked me to head home for dinner too,” Changbin says.

You leave Jisung’s house and walk outside where Changbin’s car is parked. He unlocks his car and you sit down in the passenger seat. He gets in the car and puts the keys in the ignition but doesn’t start the car.

“YN?” He calls you by your actual name which is something he doesn’t do very often. He calls you Bambi more than anyone else.

“Yeah Bin?”

“Go formal with me.” He wasn’t asking you, he was telling you, you should go with him. You don’t say anything, you just lean your head against the window still fighting back tears. “I didn’t know he was asking Rachel. If I would've known he was asking someone else I would have asked you to go with me last week.”

“Bin you can go with another girl if you want. You don’t need to take me just because Chan isn’t.”

He sighs and you look over at him, he looks upset and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like seeing you sad. “Please just go to formal with me. There is no one else I would rather go with.” “Okay,” you whisper.

Two weeks later when Winter Formal came around Changbin made a big deal about you matching and even took you out to dinner before the dance. Jisung and Chan rented a limo and went with both their dates. Chan was quite awkward when he found out you were going with Changbin, but asked if you guys wanted to ride in the limo with them. Before you could say anything Changbin told him he would be driving. Changbin made a big deal about making sure the night was special for you.

Formal for the most part was quite uneventful. Somehow Chan got dragged away and had to hang out with Rachel’s friend group leaving you to hang out with Changbin, and Jisung and his date.

You and Changbin spent most the night talking and eventually Jisung made both of you dance with him. When a slow song came one you watched from across the dance floor as your best friend danced with another girl. Changbin immediately took your hand leading you to the dance floor so you could dance. him. He held you close swaying to the rhythm of the slow song. You couldn’t help but look up every so often at Chan dancing with Rachel. There was a stabbing feeling in your chest that let you know that you were very much in love with your best friend. 

-NOW-

It had been a month and half since your break up, in that time you had seen a handful of your ex’s friends and heard them whisper about you cheating on him. It wasn’t worth the waste of breath to tell them you didn’t cheat. You only cared that nobody said anything to Chan.

You were just trying really hard to avoid Minyoung but it’s a little hard when you find him at your front door one evening. You had been getting ready for Chan to come over so he could order take out with you.

It takes everything in you not to slam the door right in his face. “We need to talk,” you can tell by the look on his face. He's clearly upset.

“I don’t want to talk,” you groan. You’re exhausted from this breakup and the last thing you want to do is talk to him.

“YN please let me in so we can talk.”

Stepping aside, Minyoung walks into your living room. He walks a few feet into your living room when he turns around to face you. He crosses his arms as he knits his eyebrows together staring at you. “You know the other night I saw you at the bar with Angel, Minho and Chan?” Of course he’s brought up when he saw you out with Chan. “Why am I not shocked that Chan slid in the moment he had a chance?”

You have a gut feeling you know where this conversation is going. Before you can say anything your front door opens and Chan walks in he clearly used his key you gave him. You don’t know if you’re excited Chan can save you from this conversation or worried about what might happen. Chan’s eyes are immediately locked on Minyoung as he takes his shoes off by the door. Your ex turns around and lets out a loud laugh at the site of your best friend.

“You got to be fucking kidding?” Minyoung says. “I don’t think I was lying when I said you were cheating on me with Chan,” he glares at you but you can’t even look at him. You’re just looking at Chan who goes from looking confessed to angry quite quickly.

“Minyoung what the fuck are you talking about?” Chan finally speaks. He walks over so he’s standing off to the side but between you and your ex.

You close your eyes scrunching your nose. You know that Chan is going to be pissed that your ex is spreading rumors about you. “He’s been telling people that I cheated on him with you.”

There is a long beat of silence and Chan looks like he’s trying his hardest to calm down. Biting your bottom lip you nervously mess with the sleeve of your sweater. Chan stops looking at Minyoung and he immediately looks at you. “That’s why you were upset at my party huh?”

“Oh how sweet, did she run to her Channie for comfort?” Minyoung lets out a bitter laugh.

“Shut up Minyoung,” you shout. “You need to leave.” You can’t stand to look at him anymore. 

“I’ll leave but I need you to answer this one thing. Tell me to my face you don’t have feelings for him. Tell me you aren’t in love with him.” He stares right at you. You glance up at Minyoung for a second before looking down at your feet. You can’t tell him the truth and if you lie to him that could hurt Chan. “Your silence speaks volumes. Chan I hope you're happy you ruined everything.” 

“Shut the fuck up Minyoung,” Chan steps between you and Minyoung and pushes your ex’s chest. “We’re just friends,” Chan sounds the angriest you’ve ever heard him.

“Don’t try this ‘just friends’ bullshit with me. She can’t even say she doesn’t have feelings for you. Anyone with eyes can see the way you look at her.”

You reach up grabbing Chan’s arm to pull him away from Minyoung before he does something he might regret. Chan’s never been a violent person, but you know he would do anything to protect you and your honor. “Chan he’s not worth it,” you whisper. Chan turns around to look at you and you can see the hurt behind his eyes. 

“I’m not blind I saw your lingering touches on her whenever you got a chance,” Minyoung continued. “I see the way you look at her, and unfortunately I saw the way she looks at you.”

“Get the fuck out before I physically remove you,” Chan growls. 

“I think you both just proved my point,” Minyoung says before leaving and slamming the door.

Standing in your living room still holding onto Chan’s arm. There is a suffocating silence taking over the room. You release his arm and step back pushing your fingers through your hair.

“Why couldn’t you tell him you weren’t in love with me,” he sighs. You look up into his sad brown eyes. He looks like he’s on the verge of crying. Stepping forward you rest your hand on his cheek. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes. His eyes slowly open and he opens his mouth with his lip quivering, “I think I know why you didn’t say anything but I need to hear you say it.”

That’s it, eight years of bottled up feelings finally need to be laid out on the table. You can’t deny your feelings to yourself or him anymore. If you lie to him and yourself and tell him you don’t love him you’ll lose him. Some things are worth the risk in life and nothing has been worth more of a risk this. You take our hand off his cheek and take a deep breath.

“I love you. I think I have since that first summer I moved in,” the suffocating weight has finally been lifted off your chest. “Please tell me you love me too, because I’m so scared I’m going to lose you,” you suddenly want to cry. Your eyes are brimming with tears as you look at your best friend. “I pushed away these feelings for so long, and I can finally tell you I have always loved you.”

He takes your face in both his hands before leaning forward and brushing his nose against yours the same way he did that fateful night you slept together. “I have loved you since the moment I met you. I fell so hard for you the first movie night we had at my house with Bin and Jisung when we were fourteen. I never stopped loving you, and do you know how hard it was to let you go after that night we slept together.”

“Why didn’t we confess then?” The tears slowly start sliding down your cheek.

“Because we were both dumb, but we were both so scared.” His thumb brushes the tear away from your cheek. “Let’s not waste another moment. I love you so much and I don’t want to watch you date any more of these idiots.”

“I don’t want to date anyone else.”

Leaning forward he presses his lips to yours for the first kiss you’ve shared since your one night together. This kiss was different from the first. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as your lips move together. He’s still holding your face in his hands. Your fingers grip his shirt holding him close to you. Pulling his lips away from yours  he rested his forehead against yours. 

“We’ve missed out on so much time together,” he whispered. “I watched you try dating other people, but I couldn’t bring myself to even try to love anyone else. A part of me has always been waiting for you.” He brushes his lips against yours for another kiss. “I've been waiting for us.”

Stepping back from him you take a moment to just look at him. Reaching down you take his hand. He doesn’t say anything as you lead him off to your bedroom. 

“Channie, I don't want to waste another moment. Will you make love to me?” He stands there staring at you nervously. 

“I’m still not super experienced. I’ve only slept with two other people,” you think back to the few drunken nights Chan had when you were dating other people and Chan would spend parties talking to other girls. He stopped showing interest in other people like that during sophomore year.

You step back pulling off your sweater. “That’s fine Chan.” You step closer to him reaching for the bottom of his shirt. “I just want to be with you.”

You both strip down to your underwear and you lead Chan to your bed. Sitting on your bed with his back against the headboard you sit on his thighs. Your lips move together as his hand roams your back. His hands brush against the clasp of your bra and you smile pulling away. His hand reaches up and pushes your bra straps off your shoulders. He reaches behind you stumbling a little but works on unclasping your bra. 

Sitting on his thighs completely bare from the waist up you reach forward kneading his already hardened erection straining against his black boxer briefs. The moment you make contact a moan passes his lips as his head rolls back against the wall. Leaning forward you press your lips to his throat. You kiss your way from the bottom of his throat up his jaw until you reach his lips again. His hands find their way to your breast. One hand focuses on pinching your nipple while the other hand massages your other breast. Pulling your lips away from his you moan at the feeling of his hands on you. Rolling your head back you moan his name.

He presses his lips to the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder and leaves a wet kiss before nipping at your skin. 

“Chan,” you gasp.

His hand travels up to your neck and his thumb runs across the center of your throat. Your eyes open as you look at him curiously. “Your neck is so pretty,” he murmurs before pressing an open mouth kiss to the delicate skin on your neck. Something clicks as he pulls away staring at you. 

“Chan, when you’ve slept with other people did you try anything new?” You think back to the handful of guys you’ve been with. A couple have been better than others. One of them from junior year was really into experimenting.

“Not really,” he says with his cheeks flushing.

“That’s fine, maybe we can experiment in the future,” you smile.

“The future?” he says almost as if he’s unsure of what the future holds.

“Yes, the future. Chan, we're in it for the long haul. I like to think the long haul involves us having sex whenever we want,” you laugh a little.

“I would like to try new things with you,” he leans forward pressing his lips to yours for another kiss.

“Anything you want to try?” you ask, as his hand rests on your throat again. 

“Jisung mentioned that Honey likes it when he puts pressure on her throat,” his thumb gently brushes against your windpipe.

Biting your bottom lip you try your hardest to hold back a smile. Of course Jisung likes choking his girlfriend, and of course he told Chan about it. The idea of Chan trying out new kinks on you is exciting. “If you want to try it you have my consent. If you want to try anything on me, all you have to do is ask.”

He puts a little bit of pressure on your throat and it feels exciting. You roll your hips against his strained erection earning a moan from him. He leans forward pressing his lips to yours for a heated kiss and he releases your throat letting you fully breathe for a moment before putting pressure on your throat again. You moan into his mouth rolling your hips again.

“I need to be inside you,” he groans, removing his hand from your throat.

You crawl off him removing your underwear and Chan lifts his hips removing his boxers. Reaching into your night stand you pull out the box of condoms you have and sit them down the nightstand. You pull out one foil packet and hand it to chan. He tears the packet open and slides the rubber down his strained cock. You crawl back onto his lap. Pushing your fingers through his curls he gives you a soft smile. His hands rub your sides as he stares into your eyes. He’s giving you that same look he always gives you like you're the sun to his moon, except there’s a lust filled haze there too. 

“For future reference I’m on the pill and clean. So if you want to go bare, feel free to.”

He groans tilting his head back, “you’re going to kill me.”

“Why am I going to kill you?” you laugh.

“The thought of filling you up is enough to kill me,” he obviously was a little embarrassed at admitting this. 

“Do you have a breeding kink I should know about,” you can’t help but smile. There is something so relaxing about this conversation between you. A heavy sigh passes his lips letting you know he does. “Chan, we can play into that one time if you want.” You lift your hips so you’re hovering over his hardened length. “Are you ready?” you whisper running his length through your wet folds. You moan as his flush head nudges your sensitive clit.

“Oh god yes,” he moans.

Slowly you sink down on his length taking his cock bit by bit. Once you’re filled to the hilt resting on his thighs you lean forward connecting your lips to his for a searing kiss. One hand grips your hip while the other takes your breast in his hand. You lift your hips slowly until just the tip is left inside you before sinking down slowly. 

His lips are connected to your throat. Kissing his way across your delicate skin. Every so often you hear him whisper, “baby.” He’s never called you that before.

The room is filled with the echoing sounds of you chanting his name like a prayer and his breathless moans.

“Baby you feel perfect and so tight squeezing me cock,” he moans. Him talking dirty to you is absolutely exciting.

“Chan you feel so big,” you moan. You want him to know how good he’s making you feel. He thrust up to help you along the way as you ride him. The curve of his cock is hitting just the right place inside you. The man you’re having sex is a very different boy then the only you lost your virginity to. There is a new confidence in Chan as he helps guide your hips up and down his cock.

“I love you,” you say.

He nods his head rapidly, “I love you so fucking much.”

Taking his face in both your hands you crash your lips into his as you continue to ride him, chasing your high. He’s already lasted longer than your first time by far and the way moving you against his cock he doesn’t like he’s close. You kiss him like you need him to breathe. He is the oxygen you need in your lungs. 

Pulling your lips away from him you desperately say, “I’m so close.” He’s pushing you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Baby come for me,” he pleads.

A few more drags of his cock hitting the electric part inside you sends you over the edge. You moan his name loudly as a white hot wave takes over you. Throwing your head back he connects his lips to your throat as he continues to move you up and down his length helping you ride out your high. He slams you down hard once on his length as he finds his own lease in the rubber around his length. You roll your hips a few times before his whimpers. You are still resting  on his lap with him still snug inside you. 

“Have I mentioned I love you,” he says as his breathing steadies.

“I don’t think I will ever get over hearing you say that.”

He leans forward resting his nose against yours, “I don’t want to ever let you go.”

A soft laugh passes your lips, “I’m not going anywhere Chan.”

You crawl off his lap laying on your back on top of your blankets. It feels so normal just laying there naked with him. He sits there for a moment before removing his condom, tossing it in the waste bin. He jumps out of bed and runs out of your room naked. You can’t help but smile at the site of his cute ass leaving your room. He comes back into the room with a warm washcloth. 

“Spread your legs baby,” there is that nickname again. You could get used to him calling you baby. 

You spread your legs and he gently wipes your moist core. “Channie, you really only need to do that when you cum inside me.”

“Let me take care of you,” he says.

“Chan do you really have a breeding kink?” you’re dying to know if this is going to be something you get to play with in bed.

He tosses the washcloth in the hamper by your door and lays on the bed next to you. “I didn’t before today, but I love the idea of getting to fill you up with my cum. Maybe it’s because one day I want it all with you. I want to marry you and have kids with you.”

Your heart swells at the thought of having a little family with him. “You love me so much that you want to marry me and knock me up?” you move so you’re resting right next to him with your head on his chest.

“Are you going to let me do those things to you?” he gently rubs your side holding you close.

“The marriage or knocking me up?” “Bambi,” he says, earning a laugh from you. “I want to do both with you.”

“That’s good because I want you to do both,” you smile.

You fall asleep in bed with him, but this time it’s different because he holds you in his arms while you sleep. In the morning you wake up to him spooning you and holding him close. His morning wood pressing against your ass leads to morning sex where you get to test out Chan’s newly discovered breeding kink. You spend the whole next day together in your apartment before heading back to Chan’s place where you find Jisung and Honey eating dinner with Hyunjin and Changbin. 

When you walk through the front door Changbin lights up at the sight of you and Chan holding hands. He gets up from the table and walks over to you and Chan with a huge smile on his face. “It’s about damn time you finally admitted you’re in love.” 

𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬.

I realize this story hinted at someone else having a crush that hasn’t been brought. That might have to get brought of in future connecting stories.

𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘧 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴. 𝘐 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧.

a lot of people asked to be tagged but when I tried tagging you your username wouldn’t come up.

@sstarryoong @hiseu @whatudowhennooneseesyou @svintsandghosts @gingertalksshit @palecoffeeruins @bubblelixie @lmhcats @hyynee @tanyas97 @lilacisentyou @ladybaudelaire @waitingforskz @penny44224 @danihernande @oxzie @leomggg @lachinitaaaaa @mattmurdockcansteponme  @questiontotheanswer @avaskz @eunoia-kth  @straykisz @kosmoskookie @changbinscypher @planetdemon  @minaamhh  @hugs4chan  @cb97zone​ @hiseu​ @laylasbunbunny​ @caroline-ds-world​ @neosfw  @minaamhh​ @idek-at-this-point-lol​ @jisungsbff01​​ @starshine-moon​ @hwang232​ @ftwgyu​ @catyae​ @sstarryoong​ @hisgzel​ @jdbxws​

[greywritesthings]

Complete contradiction

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Warnings; none I'm pretty sure

A/N; Longest fic so far, not very long by others standards but its 2 and a small paragraph pages so a lot compared to my normal one page fic. I really really like this one so any reblogs & comments would be especially appreciated on this one! (this also isnt proof read srry) also for additional context reader is also a classified genius and I do plan on making this a series :)

Taglist; @reidstheyfriend

SR Masterlist

Masterlist

read on Ao3 instead!

You peeled off your coat and dropped your bag at the door, not bothering to hang them up for now, solely focused on getting to your sofa so you could sit down. You had just gotten back from two cases in a row, meaning you were bone achingly exhausted. you had a case in Arizona followed by an emergency case involving a child in Texas then back to Virginia where you had given pretty much all the team a curt goodbye, texting Spencer a simple I love you and throwing him a smile before getting in your car. You had been with the BAU for a year now but were still yet to let your guard down around them all. You only trusted Spencer fully given he was your boyfriend and you had known him before coming to the BAU, you met when he was doing his third PHD and you were on your second. 

Spencer had spent a lot of time with you while you did your PHD, you were working on your criminal psychology doctorate after finishing your first one in Philosophy while he did his in chemistry. You bonded well, at first spending time in the library or lab together but soon enough you decided to start working together at your apartment, where Spencer had learnt you were very different at home compared to how you were outside. 

You dressed like a typical academic, dark tones with some purples and greens thrown in, your makeup was light but you often had on dark eyeliner and lipstick, you came off as cold and intimidating to everyone in looks and you weren't very friendly in tone, you just had a soft spot for the boy genius. Many would think your house would be the same, covered in books, dark colours throughout too but it was nearly the opposite. Once you walked through the door there was colour near enough everywhere, not migraine inducing neon but there were shades of light greys purples and greens covering the walls with mandala tapestries and other art pieces joining them. A striped rug with shades of pink, yellow and orange covered the floor of the living room underneath a dark coffee table in between two large patchwork sofas, a pink lamp stood in the corner on top of a small green table . Your kitchen was also brushed with colour, bright blue cabinets with light wooden countertops with a rainbow variety of cutlery, kitchen utensils, bowls and plates, your book cases throughout the apartment had books with custom dust jackets on so they were in theme with the rest of the house, you had picked up making them during highschool out of boredom. Your house was the opposite of you, and also the opposite of Spencer, who preferred the darker themes all around. 

You also had divided your wardrobe up into your working outfits and your not working outfits. Whenever you were going to set foot at work or when you met spencer, university, you wore your darker more academic and professional outfits and once you were home you wore colourful outfits. It helped you to compartmentalise the job so you didn't burn out or stress as much. When you were off work you lived in sweaters, dungarees and dresses in colours and styles that made you happy. When you and Spencer were together off work you looked like the complete contradiction of one another for people who worked so well and were identical in many other ways. 

You picked yourself up from the couch and trudged over to your bedroom to go and change into your choice of clothes for the evening. When you look through your closet you decide on a white turtleneck and pastel pink dungarees, putting on some fuzzy socks and leaving your hair down for now so you can settle in for the night making some new jackets for Spencer's books. His books were beaten up from all the travelling he did with them and they were starting to fall apart, especially the older ones, so you were making them in hopes that it would slow down the damage. 

You were so focused on your project that you didn't hear the door unlocking, you were used to Spencer letting himself in so it didn't put you on alert, not until you heard a voice who definitely wasn't supposed to be at your door, let alone inside your apartment. “Oh my god, are we in the right place?” Penelope squealed from your doorway. “I don’t think we should be here, she's private and this is certainly something she doesn't want us to know.” You hear Rossi suggest. “Guys it'll be fine, what's the worst that could happen?”  Morgan assures, you're now almost certain that at least JJ and Emily are here, possibly Hotch given aside from Spencer he was the only one with a spare key for safety purposes. Spencer wasn't with them you guessed, he was coming home after he finished up some paperwork at the university he had been requested to do last minute on a friday so he was coming over around eight PM. 

“You can come in instead of letting my heating out.” You may not look as intimidating but you can sound as cold as ever given you just had six people show up on your door and let themselves in. They all come in, awkwardly standing in the doorway as Hotch closes the door behind him. “Sorry for barging in y/n, I wanted to stop by and drop off your bag as you had left it behind at the office and Reid was gone and then the others, insisted on following me, I apologise again for the intrusion.” Hotch is nearly as formal with you as he is with strangers, you knew it was because the only things he knew about you were the things he was told by Strauss and your file, maybe also your favourite books if he managed to take a look at your open kindle on your desk sometimes. “Go make yourselves at home, leave two seats free on the sofa, also go snoop if you want, just stay out of the last room on the right, that's my bedroom.” you nod towards Garcia who practically lights up, both at your lighter tone and at the prospect of being let in to your personality. The girls and Morgan all go off to explore your apartment while Rossi and Hotch head over to the couches. 

After a while the others are done exploring your home meaning you were all now sat together, you had passed around some hot chocolates and teas, you didn't drink coffee and over time had transitioned spencer to do the same so he didn't dump half a bag of sugar into his coffee just to make it drinkable for him. You weren't entirely relaxed but you were more so in your own home compared to in the bureau. You explained your way of separating work and home through your different ways of dressing, you also opened up on some of your history with Spencer, not quite yet letting on the fact you were together. You both had places of your own for safety reasons alongside not wanting to make your ever snooping coworkers suspicious. You thought you would be safe in hiding your relationship until you lost track of time and Spencer walked through the door and called to you automatically. “I'm home sweetheart!” pausing when he heard the chatter in the living room die down, when he turned around after hanging his coat and bag up on the hooks he looked nervously at you as you nodded at him, signalling you were okay if he was. With that he visibly relaxed as the screeching began from the girls once again while Hotch and Rossi just smiled at you, Hotch having already knew as you had to declare your relationship when you started at the bureau some years after spencer, opting to do some more teaching work and get your third PHD in linguistics before taking up a role in the BAU with him.

It was several hours later when the team eventually left with you promising you would join them on the next team gathering. You then got to curl up on the sofa in Spencer's arms watching nature documentaries and reading French novels, the way you normally would, with the thought of maybe you could wear something colourful on Monday, maybe a burnt orange to ease into it.

[lightlycareless]

I keep thinking of naoya making a fool of himself around y/n and y/n just being confused (idk) like he tries to get her to like him but it doesn’t turn out well😭 , idk if that made sense sorry!!😔

Hello!!

Awww this was really sweet to think about, however I got confused in the end and made it somewhat of a happy ending lmao.

Well, I still hope you like it!! (If anyone wants angst tho, I do recommend reading my valentine's day special. But I too been wanting to write something heart clenching for a while, might get onto it....)

warnings: highschool au. naoya likes you but he doesn't know how to approach you. he is ridiculous.

Happy reading!!

A silly Naoya is more like an overconfident Naoya, the type of guy that will never stop bragging about ANYTHING just to make you look his way.

It's certainly worse when he's barely starting to acknowledge his feelings, getting to that point where he finally says "I think I like her."

To stand out and get your attention is something Naoya never thought he'd need to do, simply believing that his title as heir of the Zen'in and his outstanding achievements as sorcerer would've done the trick—but they didn't, and now, he had to put in the work.

Thus, the borderline ridiculous demonstrations of his persona, courtesy of Ranta's advice; though if it’s worth anything, this is not what he envisioned.

"Can you believe he didn't want to accept my assignment only because I didn't hand it over in a folder? That's so stupid, can't wait to get him fired as soon as I—"

"Wait, Naoya, Y/N's coming!"

"ANYWAYS I WENT TO THE MALL THE OTHER DAY TO THIS LUXURIOUS STORE AND BOUGHT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THERE AND STILL HAD MONEY TO SPARE, GEE WHY IS EVERYTHING SO CHEAP NOWADAYS??? AND PEOPLE STILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ECONOMY!! I JUST WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO SHARE ALL MY MONEY WITH—did she look??? Did she turn around to see me??"

Ranta sighs.

"No."

"Ughghhhhhhh what do I need to do to make her see me?!"

Though frustrated, he does not give up.

"—yeah, I think we're going to this super expensive resort for the weekend. I personally preferred to travel out of the country, but you know how my father is, lazy as always. If it were up to that old man we’d never leave the—and now??? Did that work?? Is she looking??"

But the results are the same.

Naoya would keep on trying, loudly proclaiming things that in his mind would eventually earn him your interest, or at least a simple glance….

Until he, eventually of course, tires himself out. Sorrowfully finding that his endeavors had been nothing but fruitless as you continue living your own life, without Naoya in your consideration.

You’re slowly becoming someone unreachable to his grasp, and while he doesn’t plan on giving up just yet, he does intend to take a break, maybe reconsider his possibilities… before coming to a conclusion where you might not be involved anymore.

And what better way to clear his mind than indulging in one of his favorite activities—secluding himself at the rooftop of the school building to read the newest release of his favorite manga.

Unaware that someone else might be there, coincidentally… the person he wished nothing more than to be with.

"What are you reading?" You'd ask upon noticing the intense stare of the young, somewhat handsome man, he’s giving his magazine.

"Do you mind? I'm bus—o-oh!" He freezes upon realizing it was the girl of his dreams talking to him, cheeks burning red as he closes the manga and looks away. “Don’t—Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on someone like that?!"

"Ah, sorry!" You chuckle, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't mean to startle you, it's just that you looked so concentrated, I couldn’t help but to be intrigued! Is your story really interesting?"

"...it is" Naoya murmurs, gaze returning to you—he almost glances away yet again at your closeness, but your beauty makes it almost impossible to do so. "It's the latest chapter, I waited a whole month to read it."

“A whole month…?” you repeat. “Wow.”

“Yeah, it was a long time—"

“Hmmm, not quite.” You teased. “I’ve waited years just to see the continuation of my favorite series! Talk about dedication.”

“Huh, well, I don’t think it’s the same—this felt worse because of how good it is.”

“Really? I don’t know, I can’t believe you—I have to see what you’re reading for that. You grin, he smirks.

“Is that so? Then don’t let me stop you from finding the truth.”

And Naoya happily obliges, both excited to share one of the things he enjoys the most with the person he adores most, as well as the fact that you’re finally setting your eyes on him! After all this time!

He considered it to be incredibly unexpected, and perhaps a bit silly how it came to be, unable to believe that it took so little to impress you.

But as soppy as it sounds, there is truth in admitting that there is no better way to get someone to like you, than by being yourself.

omg that was so fluffy agkjasjghasjkghjsa cheesy too ahahahahah damn I surprised myself for sure!!

Rest assured, you heard Naoya do all of those things and consistently thought "Is he ok? Why is he yelling?"

After the two begin to date you'll tell him how weird it was of him to do all that hahahah though... "You didn't have to do that, I already liked you." Naoya feels even sillier :^)

Anyways, I hope you liked it!! I'm sorry this didn't end up in a sad note, I read the request very quickly and ended up understanding you only wanted an interpretation of Naoya being silly—though I do want to write something sad between the two, him messing up and all that. Luckily, I have the perfect excuse for that through other asks hehehehehe

Thank you so much for sending in this ask and for your patience!! Take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[chuuya-fan-page]

rare chuuya fan page rant post

I am genuinely upset with how this fandom views Chuuya. It's probably since he is one of my favorites, but can we stop viewing him as solely the brawns of skk?

He. is. a. mafia. executive.

He is both strong and smart, there is no way he could even be a leader of the sheep at 15 years old as well if he was not smart. And there is no way that he would become a mafia executive if he was not smart either, that position requires both smarts and strength.

He is not a brute that only knows how to solve things with violence like the fandom believes he is. He's just been conditioned by living on the slums/streets since he was 7-8 years old that every day was a fight. He is a fighter. Through and through, he fights tooth and nail to survive. Even so, he can solve things through other means than violence.

He is incredibly intelligent. He can do physics in his head; it is said that he is capable of deceiving people but prefers not to. Not only that he is incredibly unpredictable! Not to mention, he is the only person to predict Dazai's motives. It's even shown early on in 15 when they first meet, after the sheep are doing their own thing, he says "what are you planning" to dazai. Why does no one talk about this? Also, it's literally said by Lippman that he would be a good actor, shows how he is capable of deceiving!

Ahem, back to what I was saying, time and time again Chuuya has surprised the people (the fuckin king of assassins and the demon fuckin prodigy) around him and even a whole ass robot (Adam)!

It's even said that he managed the jewel trade in stormbringer, taking after Dazai! No fuckin dumb 16-year-old would be put in charge of that. It even further proves the point that skk are through and through equals/rivals! No normal 16-year-old would be entrusted to something that was once overseen by somebody who would be known as the infamous demon prodigy in the mafia in the future! Not to mention, he literally figured out the case in 15 ln SHORTLY after Dazai was interrogating Rimbaud, from intuition alone as well! Also, Dazai didn't even get involved with a lot of events in stormbringer, Chuuya dealt with a lot of it on his own!

Then there's the fact that Dazai did not suspect Chuuya was arahabaki. *grabs you by your shoulder and shakes you* he. did. not. know.

That is so incredibly important! I really feel like bones really downplays how truly shocked Dazai was in the adaption of 15. Heck, even Rimbaud was shocked!

It's just fuckin annoying to see the fandom shocked by the fact that Chuuya managed to fool Fyodor. He was absolutely capable of that! It just shows in itself how people view Chuuya.

Overall, Chuuya is a very smart, capable, strong, and complex character. People really underestimate him and their reaction to him fooling Fyodor in the new episode shows it.

-A

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Sex witch, I don’t know if I need advice or commiseration, but I’m writing in anyway in case you/your followers can help.

So I (24M) am a polyamorous slut, a term I embrace. My current sexual partners are my fiancé (25M), my girlfriend (22F) and my boyfriend (25M). Fiancé and boyfriend aren’t currently having sex with anyone other than me, but my girlfriend has recently started hooking up with her friend R (21M).

Because I have multiple sexual partners, I tend to be more-than-usually strict when it comes to regular STI screenings. I ask that my partners all get screened regularly, and that they ask their sexual partners to also screen regularly. This hasn’t been a problem until now.

Recently, my girlfriend asked me to talk to R for her. Apparently he told her he’d been STI tested recently when in fact he’s never been STI tested at all. That already rubs me the wrong way, because it means that he lied to her in order to get her to agree to sex she otherwise wouldn’t have. GF doesn’t want to start a fight with R about the lie. She *does* want me to convince him to actually get tested. He refuses or changes the subject when she asks, and is apparently offended that my “tyrannical demands” are expected to dictate his behavior.

I don’t want to talk to R about this and would prefer to let him and GF sort it out between them, except that GF has continued to have sex with him in the interim and seems to have given up in getting him to listen to her directly. In short, it’s a mess.

My choices seem to be these:

—Have multiple lengthy and miserable conversations with an immature 21 year old who thinks I’m a sexual tyrant about why STI testing matters to me.

—Physically drag him to the local free clinic by his hair (I know better, don’t worry)

—Try to get my GF to stop having sex with him (I hate trying to control other people’s sex lives)

—Stop having sex with my GF indefinitely. (This is the current state of affairs.)

At this point, I think I’m too frustrated to have a clearheaded view of this issue. R seems to think that I’m upset that one of my partners is having sex with someone else, but it really, really isn’t that. I got along great with my GF’s ex boyfriend and my boyfriend and fiancé’s exes, all of whom were prepared to approach our dynamic with respect for everyone involved. I’m kind of thinking myself into angry circles about this one, I think. Please advise.

hi anon,

glad you decided to ask about this now that you've found yourself thinking in circles. it can be easy to lose perspective when you're up to your eyes in a problem, and getting someone else's input can be really necessary. I'm happy to offer that input, and it's this:

the last option, re: no sex with your GF, is not only by far the most reasonable option but also the only one that seems at all fair to you and your other partners.

I don't know your GF and I'm sure she's a lovely person, but from where I'm standing she's also being a huge dick about this. it's not her fault that R lied to her about having never been tested, but making the choice to continue having sex with him after finding out the truth, giving up on trying to get him to get tested, and pawning the responsibility off on you is unfair to you, your other partners, and anyone else who potentially becomes part of this dynamic

I want to be so clear here: wanting everyone to get tested for the safety of an entire group is not unreasonable, and it's not tyrannical behavior. it's an extremely reasonable request to make, and if your girlfriend wants to disregard that then that's her choice to make, but she's also an adult woman who can deal with the consequences of the choice.

in my pinned post I say that my answer to most requests for relationship advice is to talk about it or break up, and unfortunately I can't really see this situation ending any other way.