stagefoot - Tumblr blog

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If you're in the need for some kind of magical artifact of magic for your setting, consider Fresnel Lenses which are used in lighthouses:

These things are Alive.

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Me: When I have the perfect amount of caffeine, I’m like wow! I’m so neurotypical! But then I have one molecule too much and it’s just 😵‍💫🫨

My spouse: You are talking a little fast.

(Some time later)

Me: Should I take the iced coffee with me to work or have it tomorrow?

Spouse: Ok, how close are you to hitting that limit?

Me: … 👀

My spouse: Tomorrow. 😘

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Me: Fuck, I really need to cough… There’s a loud part coming up in the show in like 30 seconds!!!

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Me, texting the stage manager after finishing my pre-show checks: I’m gonna go sit in the lobby until the half because it’s so pretty out 🥹

I walk into the lobby, and there’s the SM.

Me: Ah. I see we’re of one mind on this.

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@screams-internally Yes that’s it exactly!!!

Stage Tech: This job always hands you really weird shaped things and has you carry them really far

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No but really…!

I like to joke that there are three kinds of things I have to carry: heavy, awkward, or both

Stage Tech: This job always hands you really weird shaped things and has you carry them really far

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Me, with a chronic lung condition that mostly manifests as coughing: Golly gee it’s sure a good thing I don’t work in, say, live theater. 😅

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Me: I’d really like to close this window. I’ve tried, but I just can’t get enough leverage. I even knelt on the counter, but—

Stage manager: *pushes on the back of the window, closing it immediately*

Me: 🤦Ok so…!

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Oh boy, it’s my day off from the theater!

Time to play Princess Peach Showtime

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Are you ready to see something weird?

Ok. I’m used to going into the public bathrooms in the theater (most convenient for me to get to from the booth) and finding those little bits of paper towel everywhere (it’s absolutely a losing battle, but I always pick them all up 🤷🏼)

But just now—!

That is the wall. That shadow right above it is the paper-towel dispenser.

How…?!!! Why? Who!

Me: I am reluctantly impressed.

Stage manager: At this point, I think that’s all you can be.

I also showed this to my spouse, who said the following:

Which made me laugh so hard that the audience in the lobby and FOH probably heard 😅

But really…!

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Yesterday the LD was telling me about an actress who was playing a statue, and after one show she told him that a mosquito had walked across her eye. And no one had noticed a thing. Because…she did not move.

Folks, I don’t think I could physically have kept myself from moving. It just…

What’s past committing to the bit?

Sacrificing yourself to the bit? Worshipping at the altar of the bit? Damn.

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“Shakespeare is just LARPing for a paycheque.”

- stage manager

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“Thank you for your patience, my cadavers.”

- stage manager

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Me whenever I get into the right cue before the stage manager tells me:

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Director: *crossing the theater* Don’t mind me, it’s just a stage I’m going through.

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