#you know this newfound bashing… i am okay with it

[zaaaras]

andre the ice cream man when he finds out about aromantic people

[wreckedandpolemic]

5, 11!!

trust me - matty healy

(mdni) posthumous formatting because i am a FOOL this is nice and sweet and i Wish first times were actually like this

warnings: 18+, frankly unrealistic depiction of a first time, smoking, fingering

You sigh, tapping the ash off your cigarette and watching it drift into the ashtray, crumbling on impact. There’s something poetic in that, you think. “I don’t want to be a virgin anymore,” you blurt out, screwing up your face in embarrassment as soon as the words leave your lips.

Matty’s head snaps up, expression comically bewildered. There’s a note of intrigue underneath, though, you’re certain. “You– I– I don’t…”

At this point, you might as well just forge ahead. “I’m just thinking. ‘Cause you were talking about…” You wave a hand. Matty loves telling you about the girls he fucks, inflated tales of conquest, of girls begging and crying for him, how he leaves them changed down to the bone, ruined. You wonder if he knows how it turns you on, how you spend your nights imagining yourself in their place with a hand between your thighs.

“I just want to be able to have a normal time next year, sleep around a bit, not let sex be this big thing I’ve built up in my head to have to work through.” You swallow nervously, playing with your hair, the intensity of Matty’s gaze making you fidgety.

“It’s only a big deal if you make it one,” he says, shrugging, grey smoke pouring from his mouth.

You bite back a frown. Does he not fucking get it, or is he deflecting? You just might die of mortification if it’s the latter. “I don’t want to have a mediocre shag with a stranger for my first time, Matty,” you scoff, a whisper of intent seeping through the casual air of your tone.

He looks genuinely surprised when he catches on, his jaw slackening. “You want me to be your first?” His gaze is searching, hunting for anything but sincerity in your expression. Your heart stumbles over itself, and just as you open your mouth to take it back, a dozen apologies and explanations speeding to the tip of your tongue, he smiles. “Fuck, of course I will. I’ll make it fucking perfect for you, darling.” He doesn’t look away from you as he stubs out his cigarette, flicking the butt into a shadowy corner.

A bashful smile slides onto your face, heart racing, adrenaline pumping through your blood. “Okay. I, um–” Matty cuts you off with a kiss, cupping your jaw with one hand and tangling the other in your hair. You grip his neck, opening your mouth to let his tongue sweep inside. It’s hot, commanding, wiping away the memories of every lacklustre kiss you’ve ever had. His hands slip down to the buttons of your shirt, working them open and revealing your skin inch by inch.

You pull back, wriggling out of your shirt and tossing it away, shedding it from your mind as it disappears from view. Matty sits back on his heels, raking his gaze over your bare skin, admiring your tits as they spill out of the red lace cradling them. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, low voice thick with lust. Emboldened by his praise, you reach behind you and unlatch your bra, discarding it carelessly. His eyes fall to your bare skin, entranced.

“Your turn,” you smile, taking advantage of your newfound confidence while it lasts. Matty practically rips his shirt from his body and you ogle him happily, every passing second proving to you that this is real. He tugs off his jeans next, and your heart jumps into your throat at the sight of his dick, hard and straining against his boxers.

Following your gaze, a smirk creeps onto Matty’s face. “See how hard you make me? Fuck, I can’t wait to fuck you, darling.” You shudder, the anticipation in your throat so thick it almost chokes you. “You wanna take those off for me?” he asks, indicating your jeans. Unthinkingly, you obey, unbuttoning them and letting them join the rest of your abandoned clothing on Matty’s floor. “Good girl. You’re so fucking gorgeous, you know that?”

Something warm and sweet fizzes in your chest, blood rushing to your cheeks. Matty crawls back towards you and kisses you again, in that same dominating way that borders on aggression. Breathing hard, you pull back, his closeness making you hyperaware of the gravity of the situation you’re in. “How do you want… I don’t…” you stutter, nerves jangling.

“Just lay back, darling. Don’t worry about anything. Let me take care of you, yeah? I’ll do the work,” he promises, slowly leaning you back against the pillows. He hovers above you, caging you in protectively. One of his hands brushes over your clothed clit and your body jolts, hips jumping towards him.

He slips your panties off and you suddenly feel horribly exposed, completely bare under his heated gaze. Screwing your eyes shut, you try to calm your racing heart. One of his calloused fingers circles your bare clit and you gasp. “Fuck, Matty,” you hiss, rolling your hips against his hand. Sharp pleasure rockets up your spine, still tinged with nerves.

“That’s it,” he murmurs soothingly as you grind against his hand. “Get out of that pretty head of yours, darling. I got you,” he promises, smiling as the pace of your hips speeds, inhibitions melting away. “You ready for more?”

Pulse hammering in your throat, you nod. Your cunt pulses as he slips a finger inside you, a gentle burn radiating from between your thighs. It’s so different to when you touch yourself like this, his fingers rougher, wider, filling you deeper. “Fuck, more, please!” you hiss, clenching around his finger.

He leans down, kissing you softly and slipping another finger into you, thumbing at your clit. “Whatever you want, baby,” he promises against your lips. You moan at the stretch, whimpering as he fingers you at a sweet pace. Pleasure sparks from your clit as your cunt flutters around him, sopping sounds ringing around you. You’re fucking floating, the gorgeous pressure of his fingers inside you setting your blood on fire. Then he slows down, and you open your eyes to find a question in Matty’s face. “You ready for me to fuck you?”

Your answer catches in your throat, sticking nervously. “I want to,” you mumble. “But…” you trail off, wincing. “I’m scared,” you rush out, mortified.

Matty’s face softens. “You have nothing to be scared of. I’ll make you feel good, I promise. Just trust me.”

“Okay… Okay, yeah.” you nod. “I’m ready.” You spread your legs wider as he slips off his boxers, leaning over you to retrieve a condom. His cock is flushed red and dripping between his legs as he rolls the condom on, and you swallow against the lump of nerves swelling in his throat.

He lines up his cock and enters you slowly and you whimper, a flash of pain jolting through you. He’s big, the stretch so much wider than anything you’ve ever felt. Slowly, your body adjusts as Matty pushes deeper into you. He bottoms out with a groan, body trembling with the effort of holding still. “Tell me when you’re ready,” he urges, dropping his head to kiss your neck, biting your pulse point and leaving a soft ache that you pray will bruise, a lasting mark of the encounter.

Slowly, the pain cools, a bright spark of pleasure emerging and spreading until it envelops you. “Fuck. You can… You can move,” you say, digging your nails into his back in encouragement. Matty starts slow, thrusting into you with a moan, and you cry out, sensation rippling across your body, your brain turning staticky.

The pace he sets is gentle, steady, withheld as you grow accustomed to feeling him. He rubs slow circles into your clit, pleasure coiling in your gut and dripping out around him. “How are you feeling, darling?” Matty murmurs into your neck, licking and kissing over the bruises on your neck.

It’s a fight to find words, your brain blissfully soupy. You smile beatifically up at him. “Good. So good. Amazing.” He grins proudly, rewarding you with a deep kiss and faster circles at your clit. “Mmm… You can go faster. If you want.”

He obliges you, fucking you indulgently, fast and so hard that breathing is a struggle. Your mind goes blank, the singular thought circling as you speed towards your orgasm that those girls weren’t exaggerating. It’s unbelievable, unreal, you’re floating above your body, nothing more than a tangled mass of pleasure. One last pinch to your clit and you break, body trembling and tears pooling in your eyes. Your heart bangs against your ribs, your insides a bloody mess as you cry out.

Your final whimper of his name does him in and you feel his cock pulsing as he spills into the condom. He pants into your mouth, kissing you dirtily as he pulls out of you. The space between your thighs feels hollow and empty, your body missing him already as he rolls off you and discards the condom. “Thank you,” you mumble dazedly, hyperaware of every place your body touches his.

“You don’t need to thank me, darling,” he grins, watching you with an inscrutable expression. “How are you feeling?”

You huff a quiet laugh. “Sore. Thoroughly fucked.” He’s fishing, waiting for you to feed his ego, but you know him well enough to see through it. Matty pouts and you laugh, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and trying to gather your wits enough to stand.

A hand on your thigh stills you. “Hey, hey, where are you going?”

“Well, don’t you want me to go?”

He looks horrified. “No, stay. Please.” Matty stands, rummaging in his drawers and passing you a shirt, tugging on his own boxers as an afterthought. You slip it on gratefully, glad not to be exposed any longer. He looks down at you, smiling at the sight of you laying in his bed, wearing his clothes. “You want anything? Water? A brew? A joint?”

A laugh bubbles out of your throat, but you shake your head. “Maybe later,” you say, fighting back a yawn, suddenly bone-deep tired. You burrow under his sheets, wrapped in the soft scent of him, tired and sore and sated and content.

[thedemoninme141]

2 Days Of Love

2 days of Love

Tori started her day as usual, waking up, getting into the bathroom as gloomy as Jade, getting out more cheerful than Cat. She jumped around her house, making her own breakfast.

She looked at the date on her mobile.

"Wednesday, August 13th."  

"Today's the day" She sings, today she is gonna ask the ultimate question to Jade even if Jade's gonna say "No"

"Whatever Vega, since I don't have anything better to do, I will go out with you," Jade said then turned around and felt like jumping and dancing as Cat does.

"Finally, this idiot braved up," Jade muttered to herself after getting a few feet away from Tori.

Tori was frozen in spot, She expected a "Me going out with you Vega? I didn't bash my head on the door enough to go out with you." instead she got this AND YES THIS IS THE BEST "YES" SHE CAN GET FROM JADE WEST.

She wanted to run to every single Hollywood arts student, and tell them, Jade West, the baddest bitch in school, had agreed to go on a date with her.

She fell for her on their fake date that their teacher Sykowitz forced them into, she felt sparks in her hands when she held Jade's hand while singing the song.

So yes she asked her out after thinking about it for weeks, Today's Wednesday, 13th August, and she will remember this day, Because she made her heart brave enough to ask the badest bitch in school out on a date.

But even as she basked in the glow of this newfound happiness, Tori couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Their date was still two days away, and the wait was almost too much to bear. She needed to talk to Jade about it, to bask in the joy of this moment and savour every second.

As she made her way to class, Tori couldn't help but feel nervous. Would Jade really want to talk about it? Would she be as excited as Tori was?

Brian took the seat beside Jade just as Tori got in, and she felt disappointed.

"Damn it, I can't sit beside her now" Tori sighed but what she didn't expect was Jade, slowly tilting her head to Brian, and just glaring at her, the infamous Jade glare, no one can last longer than 30 seconds, 20 secs later, Brian screamed and ran out of the classroom.

"Nice, Jade cost me another student," Sykowitzs said.

"Another?" Tori wondered as slowly stood beside Jade's sit. Jade looked at her for a few secs. She sighed. She patted the seat beside her giving her the green signal. Tori wasted no time and took the seat beside her, Jade gave her a nod and dived into her notes again.

The shock on the faces of their classmates was palpable, and "What" "whoa" "she didn't yell at her?" Tori heard their gossiping. She could feel their eyes on her as she took the seat beside Jade. But as she settled in, she realized that this was where she belonged - by Jade's side.

"Hey, Tori? What black magic did you do last night?" Andre asked poking her with a pen behind her.

"The same one I am going to do with your head if you don't shut up ANDRE" Jade snapped. Tori smirked.

"It's nothing Andre, Jade and I had a "talk" " She replied.

"Wait you really did?" Andre was surprised, he did know about Tori's crush on Jade, and Tori told him last night that she was gonna ask Jade out, but he didn't really think she would have the guts to do it.

The class went by while Jade and Tori shared glares at each other, some of them loving glares, (mostly from Tori) some of them angry glares (mostly from Jade, okay fine! all of them from Jade.).

The class was over. "So, wanna do something together tonight Jade?" Tori asked while packing her back. "The date's tomorrow nightTori. You can't just ask to do something now. It might make tomorrow boring." Jade replied, but softly, unusual.

"You are going on a date?" Beck's head popped up.

"Yaaaaay I love dates, Can I come with you too?" Cat jumped into the group.

Tori took a deep breath. "I ASKED JADE OUT ON A DATE." looking at Andre.

"Sorry, I should've asked your permission before asking your ex out," Tori said to Beck,

"It's okay," " NO IT'S NOT NEEDED," Both Beck and Jade said.

"No cat! Dates are supposed to be only 2 people" Cat frowned "But, we can spend tonight together watching movies, just the 3 of us girls. No offence boys." Tori said glancing at Andre and Beck,

"None taken," Andre replied.

"When did I agree to that?" Jade asked.

"Come on Jadeeey? Please?" Tori asked popping out her cute doggy eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that," Jade said.

Tori only made her eyes bigger and cuter.

"Stoooop! FINE I WILL BE THERE AT 7, STOP WITH THOSE EYES NOW!"

"Yay!" Tori jumped.

"I taught her that," Cat whispered in Andre's ears.

Then Jade was there at 8, Cat was there way before her. Tori thought she would feel weird doing stuff together now that she has already asked Jade out but she didn't. She felt natural, she felt like Jade was already hers. They watched some movies together, mostly horror or comedy, cause Jade doesn't do "Romance". It was peaceful, and cute honestly. Tori felt falling harder for Jade. Jade felt emotions she herself can't describe. Movies and Tori's failed attempts at cuddling while Cat fell asleep on Jade's lap. Jade does become soft for Cat, Tori wants to be treated the same. That was the first day.

The 2nd day was quite opposite, Tori only was able to meet Jade before the classes cause they had different classes that day. But after the class, Tori was surprised when instead of her looking for Jade, Jade came looking for her. Jade said,

"Don't get too happy, I couldn't find anything better to do so I came here to ask where are we going tonight?"

"Owh..." Yeah, Tori hadn't planned a thing, she expected a straight no from Jade while asking her out...

Jade sighed and smirked a little.

"Idiot. Nozu, the usual. Okay?"

"Yeah.. yeah," Tori replied getting out of her thoughts., It was where their first fake date was, this is where their first real date is gonna happen.

ugh, the one she asked out has to plan the date instead of herself. There is one thing she could not understand. She was afraid that these 2 days would feel the longest because she would be too excited about her date with Jade. But, these 2 days were passing by quicker than she could feel them, she wanted to feel them again, perfectly.

So she also didn't feel how time went by and it was 7 pm. She was standing outside Jade's single apartment door, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for the raven-haired beauty to open the door. When Jade finally appeared, Tori was taken aback by her stunning appearance. Jade's eyes shone brighter than ever, and her black dress made her look like a goddess. Tori had always found Jade beautiful, but tonight, she was simply breathtaking. An angel, if she calls her that Jade would kill her on spot.

Tori felt her heart trying to burst out of her chest when they were talking about each other's feelings in Nozu. But she could feel how Jade was nervous talking about her own feelings, Jade was confused actually, Tori wouldn't be surprised. But she wants to try it, try if they can work it together. That was good enough for Tori.

"Are you ready to go Vega?" Jade asked smiling,

"As long as you are with me, Jade," Tori replied

So they walked out of Nozu at 9 pm, together, holding hands, Jade to Tori's left.

Their car was parked on the opposite side of the road, She waited for the walk signal to turn on, and it did, so she walked, holding her newly found love's hand. The Van hit them from the left, trying to overtake the stopped car, but the driver was too drunk to expect the couple to walk right in front of his vehicle. It hurts, and the pain was unbearable, But, she was able to stand, stumble, whimp, crawl to her love... who was bleeding heavily because she was hit first, Jade's soft body lessening the impact Tori got from the crash.

"Jade.." Tori felt tears pouring out of her eyes as she saw blood gathering around the raven-haired girl. "Jade..." Tori exhaled as she fell right beside Jade, her vision becoming blurry as she saw the men from the car come rushing to help them. Tori couldn't understand which pain it was that took her consciousness, her body or her heart.

She woke up hours later at the hospital, she was confused at first but then recalls the previous incident, her sister was there beside her, and she called the doctor as soon as Tori woke up. Tori however didn't care about her body, all she wanted to know was Jade's condition.

"Jade.. did she...?" She asked fearing the answer, her voice almost inaudible. Tori waited for Trina's answer, but all Trina did was look down and stayed silent.

That was enough to break Tori down, emotionally, and mentally.

Why was she crying so much? It was just 2 days, all she got with Jade was 2 days, 2 days worth of memories, 2 days of love, so why did it hurt so much?

She doesn't know the answer.

Tori cried for what felt like an eternity. The pain in her heart was

indescribable. Every memory they had shared together felt like a knife to her heart. Tori didn't know how to live in a world without Jade. It felt as if a part of her had been ripped away, leaving her feeling empty and alone.

Time passed away, all she could do was cry in agony for those 2 days of love. She doesn't even know how she fell asleep crying.

The next day, she woke up on her bed. She looked around, She jumped up and took her phone.

Wednesday, August 13th.

She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that the events of the previous night were just a dream. However, she knew that she needed to talk to Jade as soon as possible. She messaged her hoping that she was awake.

"Hey, are you up?" Tori asked.

"No, I'm typing in my sleep," Jade replied sarcastically a minute later.

Tori smiled.

"Can we meet at your locker before classes? I need to talk to you about something,"

"Okay, Whatever."

After knowing how real the dream felt, how much the pain of losing Jade felt, Tori now is a hundred percent certain, that her love for Jade is from her heart.

"Today's the day." She sings again getting up from bed, feeling the same excitement.

Tori felt her heart pounding in her chest as she made her way through the gates of Hollywood Arts. It felt like she was living the dream she had just had, but she tried not to dwell on it. She needed to focus on what she was about to do.

As she approached Jade's locker, she saw that her friend was already there, leaning against the metal door with a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other. Tori took a moment to admire the features of the girl she had come to realize she was in love with. Jade sipped her coffee, her eyes closed as she listened to music through her earphones.

Tori hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should disturb Jade's peace. But before she could second-guess herself, Jade noticed her and smirked.

"There's no turning back now," Tori muttered to herself as she walked up to Jade.

"What's up, Vega? Who are you planning to murder that you need my help with?" Jade said with a smirk.

Tori took a deep breath before launching into what she had to say. "Look, Jade, I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. I know the answer is probably going to be 'no,' but I have to say it anyway."

Jade furrowed her brows, looking at Tori with a mix of curiosity and confusion.

"I have a crush on you," Tori said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but I had to tell you. I can't stop thinking about you, Jade. And I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime. Maybe this Thursday?"

Jade's expression softened, and she put her phone away. "Tori, I..." she started to say, but Tori interrupted her.

"I know it's a lot to ask, and I understand if you don't feel the same way. I don't want to make things weird between us-"

"Tori, stop stuttering!" Jade said, rolling her eyes. "I've known about your crush on me for weeks, and I've been waiting for you to finally woman up and tell me."

Tori whined in disbelief. "You knew? Then why did you torture me those weeks?"

"As I said, I needed you to be brave enough to finally tell me. And as for your question, yes, Vega, I'll go out with you," Jade said with a smirk.

Tori felt her heart skip a beat as Jade's words echoed in her mind. It was just like her dream. "Wait, what?" she whispered, feeling like she was in a daze.

Jade rolled her eyes. "Yes, I said yes, Tori. Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"No... it's not that.. it's.. whatever forget it, So, Any special place you want to go?"

"Really Vega? You asked me out and I have to tell you where to go? Ugh, you really didn't expect a Yes, did you?" Jade smirked, "How about Nozu? The usual? where Sykowitz forced us to go on that stupid date?"

"NOOO" Tori practically screamed.

Jade was surprised,

"What Vega? Allergic to sushi or something?" Jade teased.

"No, it's not that.. how about someplace new? You are right, I asked you out, I should plan the date. But Can we hang out today together? Just the two of us, as friends, if you want to, I want to know about you more."

Jade smiled.

"Be at your place at 6. Let's get to class now before your lovey-dovey talks get us detention." Tori smiled as Jade grabbed her hand dragging her to the class.

Tori felt her day passing away quickly again, exactly as she did in her dream, She doesn't even know how it was again 6 pm and Jade was in her house, This time she didn't invite Cat so she was alone there with her. So she got her alone time with Jade, Jade wasn't in the mood to talk about her feelings yet, But she was willing to spend the night with Tori watching movies and maybe falling asleep on the couch, and that's exactly what they did, Tori felt asleep before Jade, Jade just looked at the sleeping Latina. She smiled before laying her head on the couch, a sleeping Tori on her lap.

Tori's next day started with a loud honk sound from Jade's phone,

Who the hell just wakes up and thinks about pranking their "friend-date",

"Close the door Vega, I need to go home to get ready for school. I didn't bring any clothes here."

"You can wear your green sleeves shirt."

"Wait, I lost that when we went to the beach last year."

"Yeah..." "Fuck." Tori cursed herself, She took a breath to let the truth be told.

"ItotallydidnnotborrowedyourshirtfromyourbagjustbecauseIwantedsomethingofyoursbecauseIfeltlikeIcouldneverhaveyoubecauseyouandbeckweredating."

Jade herself doesn't understand how she even got what Tori told her right now. She grinned, This side of Tori Vega, someone who would steal your belongings so they could feel like they are with you. She liked this side.

"You are something else Vega, Hope I can see more tonight." Jade winked as she took her bag and went out.

Tori just stood there dumbfounded, "Wait, Jade isn't mad at me for this?"

The classes went by just as she saw in her dream, she couldn't find any free time to meet with Jade, when she did however, Jade was gone.

"She went home early today, she said she had some work," Cat said.

"Oh.." Tori felt down, "At least we are gonna meet tonight." she consoled herself.

She messaged Jade to be ready at 7 pm.

Then she was just outside her doors at 7 pm. She was standing outside Jade's single apartment door, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for the raven-haired beauty to open the door. When Jade finally appeared, Tori was taken aback by her stunning appearance. Jade's eyes shone brighter than ever, and her black dress made her look like a goddess. Tori had always found Jade beautiful, but tonight, she was simply breathtaking. An angel, if she calls her that Jade would kill her on spot.

Wait a min... what is happening... Tori wondered.

"Vega? Vega... Tori!" Jade pulled Tori out of her thoughts.

"What happened Vega? Did I make the room temperature too high for you?" She teased.

"No.. I mean Yes.. You look stunning.. Not that you didn't do before but you look more stunning tonight." Tori said nervously.

Jade smiled, "Let's see which place you have chosen to go Tori."

It wasn't an expensive 5-star restaurant but it was calm and quiet, just like Jade loved. And just like her dream, Jade was nervous to talk about her own feelings, but "I am not sure where we will end up, but I want to try this, I want to try us."

That was good enough for Tori.

And so they were out at 9 pm, holding each other's hand, going through the alley to the parking lot. They didn't notice a hooded figure emerge from the darkness, brandishing a gun. "Give me your purse and jewellery," he demanded. But before she could even speak, Jade tried to protect Tori by moving in front of her and the thug fired a shot, hitting Jade in the chest. Tori screamed in horror as Jade fell to the ground. The thug fled as Tori knelt beside Jade, her hands shaking as she tried to stem the bleeding. But it was too late.

"No..no..not again.. no." Tori cried,

Jade's breathing was shallow and her eyes were starting to glaze over.

Tears streamed down Tori's face as she held Jade's hand, whispering words of comfort and love. But Jade was slipping away, and Tori knew there was nothing she could do to save her.

Wednesday, August 13th

Tori felt her heart shatter into pieces once again as she saw the same date on her phone.

"What is happening!" She found tears gathering in her eyes finding the same pain of losing Jade again.

2 days of love were tearing her heart apart.

But she knew, it was no dream, she was living these 2 days of love over and over again.

So she will save Jade this time, she knows what is going to happen.

"We should go to that new restaurant on Sweetzer Ave," Tori suggested, trying to change their fate. "Exploring new things, aren't we Vega?" Jade smiled, and Tori couldn't help but feel a sense of hope.

Tori doesn't know the source of the explosion, all she knows is the aftermath, her vision being blurry and a mess of black hair with a bright lavender streak in front of her.

Wednesday, August 13th,

"I think we should leave now, I want to show you something else."

"Hmm, trying to impress me with your charm Vega?" Jade smiled.

"Well, I am already impressed enough." Jade took Tori's hand.

Tori was the one driving when the truck hit them from Jade's side.

Wednesday, August 13th,

"Weren't you supposed to ask Jade out today?" Andre inquired,

Tori let out a sigh.

"Yeah, I changed my mind, I don't want to pressure her during the semester."

Tori was home, drinking some tequila, watching the newscaster giving the news about a fire,

"We’re hearing reports of numerous casualties, including one Hollywood Arts student, Jadlyn August West."

"Why does this keep happening? Aren't we allowed to be happy?" she whispered, tears streaming down her face, going to bed knowing she will find herself back in these 2 days of love.

Along with these 2 days of love, came memories, new memories every time. Tori knowing more and more about Jade every time.

"My mother died when I was 8."

"I never hated you,"

"I like bunnies actually"

Tori kept trying to save Jade every time, No matter what she did, Death always succeded, leaving Tori with a shattered heart and a soul in despair.

"What happened Tori?”

Tori sometimes tried to tell her the truth,

"Are you okay? Do you wanna talk?"

Convincing her without looking like a complete lunatic was hard and not possible most of the time.

"Very funny Vega, you have fantasized about my death so much huh?" Jade teased at times, not realizing that Tori was trying to save her.

Then again, Sometimes she believed her,

But what surprised Tori was how calm Jade was even after knowing that death was coming for her.

"No matter what happens Tori, Death isn't the end. You know it, more than me, so If death has chosen me, so let it take me. But no matter where it takes me I will always be here, in your heart. All you have to do is move on from the pain."

But how can she move on? These weren't just 2 days of love,

2 days were becoming an eternity for her.

DEATH, Tori wonders, is death a person? what has she done to deserve such a punishment?

DEATH, If Jade isn't afraid of death, so isn't Tori.

So now, she starts living these 2 days of love. Spending 2 days over and over again with Jade, each and every moment being marked in her memories, 2 days became years for her.

She even stopped trying to save Jade.

DEATH

She just lived whatever time she got with Jade.

DEATH

Taking in the happiness, Satisfying her heart.

DEATH

Until she was ready.

DEATH

She always knew the solution. It was simple.

DEATH

She just needed more time to be strong enough to do what she needs to do.

DEATH wanted a life.

So Tori would give it one.

"Are you ready to go Vega?" Jade asked smiling,

Tori just looked at her, getting lost in her blue-green eyes…..

For the final time.

"What's the matter, Vega? Are you alright?" Jade noticed the shimmer of tears in Tori's eyes

Tori's heart ached as she tried to hold back the flood of emotions that threatened to spill out.

"You are the only thing that matters Jade, I love you in every life," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

She took a deep breath, gathering her strength and gave a small smile.

"Let's go, my love."

So they walked out of Nozu at 9 pm, together, holding hands, But this time, Tori to Jade's left...

Watching those blue-green eyes as her last sight, was the perfect ending, for Tori's life

Because 2 days of love, was all she needed.

[respiteresponse]

let's talk: canon events! how'd you get into the dream team? what brought you to dtblr?

EEP so i got really into watching dream in like early 2021 because i was super curious about the dsmpers cause like. everyone i knew would bash them and dream and idk i just wanted to know what was so bad about them so i watched a tubbo video and i really liked it . i likes it a lot. that somehow led to me watching dream because i was curious what he sounded like and then like instantaneously i fell in love with his content especially his manhunts i was like. starry eyes enamored i would curl up in my bed all day watching manhunt on my phone laughing and gasping and just so overwhelming into it i just couldnt look away. like i was obsessed because dream was doing so many things i had never seen before in minecraft, like the fuck is a boat clutch ? ! ? ! i was just in absolute awe and from there i was just so excited about this new interest of mine i started watching other creators that had videos with dream, looking at twitter fan accounts. i made my own fanart but didnt post for a while because my friends all disliked dream so i didnt want to get bashed for my newfound love of him LOL. okay i am rambling but yeah eventually gave in and made a twitter, later made this tumblr because ive always preferred tumblr to twitter and i lurked on my friends blogs a lot here anyways :, ) YEAH ! ! dteam to the MOON ! ! !

[sinswithpleasure]

The Playgirl (ft. LOONA's Yves) [Part 2] [Female Reader]

---------------

Hello! I'm back with part 2!

Futa!Yves x Fem Reader, just in case ya forgot.

If you prefer, this is also on AO3 and AFF!

---------------

Yves shows up on time for tutoring, to your surprise.

"Hey baby."

"Don't 'baby' me."

"Sure. Let's start."

"Alright. Open up the textbook. We're starting from the basics. I've printed out some of the prerequisites for this topic, since what you did last time wasn't up to standard due to lack of practice of the basics. Now…"

Yves listens attentively. In fact, things go a bit too smoothly for the both of you. Yves doesn't make any cheeky quip, pull out any pet names, or flirt with anyone that passes by. The womanizing playgirl you knew disappears, and in its place is a focused, dedicated young woman. Sometimes, you even find yourself staring at her work on the problems in front of her. The change is… welcome, to say the least.

Your eyes roam Yves's styled hair, swiped back to expose her forehead, down to her beautiful large eyes, button nose, and full lips.

God, you're gay. Sure, you're literally admiring the beauty of the most insufferable bane of the universe, but you're just so fucking gay and hot people are hot, no matter how irritating they are, so...

When your eyes shift back up, you're met with Yves's smirk.

"See something you like, babe?"

Fuck.

"N-no."

"Liar."

"Fuck off." You rush to change the subject. "How're you doing?"

"I've been done for a while. You would know if you weren't spending the time looking at me."

You refuse to dignify her with a response, checking through the solved problems. With your coaching, Yves manages to get two more questions correct as compared to last time, but she still makes some simple mistakes.

"Okay, here's the issue. In question two…"

---------------

Yves continues to show up for every tutoring session. Somehow, a week passes by, and it is now Friday.

"Good afternoon, babygirl."

"Don't 'babygirl' me. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Mm, whatever. How're you doing?"

"Why do you care?"

Yves pulls out the chair next to you, leaning back on it, resting her legs on the table. She turns to you, grinning.

"Of course I'd care! You're my tutor, and if you don't feel good, you won't be able to teach me properly. If I don't get taught, I won't learn, then I'll fail, and I don't get to win. You know that I always win."

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"That's what you say, but not what you mean."

"Fuck you."

"That's what you'll be doing in five months' time."

"No I won't. Bring out the Calc textbook. We're going through Chapter 4 today."

"Alright, babygirl."

----------------

The change in Yves becomes apparent when she somehow is present earlier than you on Monday morning.

"Yves?"

"Oh, hey babe."

You sigh at the pet name, but having heard her call you that for quite some time now, it doesn't grind your gears as much anymore.

"Don't 'babe' me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Yves returns her attention to the papers she is working on, and the familiar math problems catch your eye.

"Calc?"

"Yeah. I promised I'll be the best student. Here I am."

"We'll see about that."

"You're looking at it right now." Yves rises from her chair, and in a flash, she has her arm around your waist, her face inches from yours. "I'm going to win, babygirl."

"G-Get off me!" Your face reddens instantly at the close proximity of your lips to hers. Memories of the chaste kiss Yves planted take front and center stage, and you can't help but look away from Yves.

"You're so pretty."

Yves has her gaze locked on your lips, then to your eyes. She is so close, too close, even. Heat flashes all over your body—every touch Yves leaves on you seems to burn.

"I mean it. You're gorgeous."

"T-Thank you."

The smug smirk never leaves Yves's face. She releases you from her smoldering gaze and grip, but she leaves you with a rapidly beating heart and a large distraction for the day to come.

When class begins, Yves tries to take the time to listen to the professor. However, she is soon back to her old ways, flicking paper balls at classmates and being on her phone more than she listens.

"Yves."

"Yeah, baby?" She meets your gaze, her tongue darting out to moisten her dry lips. Her hands carry on working on moulding another tiny paper ball.

"You're not listening."

"I am!"

"What was the last thing the prof said?"

"Um…"

You roll your eyes.

"Best student, my ass."

"I made that promise to you, not to him."

"You won't learn if you don't listen to him either. How're you going to be the best if you can't even do that?"

"Oh, so that's how it is?"

"That's right." You think hard about the words you want to say next, but maybe… maybe it is worth the risk. After all, Yves is still the bane of your existence, but she could be less of that if she keeps up her effort in trying to learn.

"You don't get to fuck me if you're not the best."

You watch as Yves freezes. She stares at you, her jaw hanging, before she steels her gaze to your eyes, staring deep into your soul.

"So this is how you wanna play, babygirl?"

"Yeah." You can feel your bravado slowly disappearing.

"Fine. I'll listen. I'll play by your rules."

Yves leans to your ear, her breath sending shivers down your spine. Her deep whisper makes you shudder.

"You will be mine at the end of the year, baby. I promise you: I'll ace my exams, and you'll love me for it."

Perhaps provoking your seatmate wasn't the best idea. Now you have to deal with the deep flush on your face and neck, as well as the heat between your legs.

---------------

A month passes.

Every week, the same things go by—tutoring, classes, more tutoring, more classes. However, what changes is how close you and Yves get with each other. By no means were the both of you friends, but she isn't as much of a thorn in your side anymore.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Baby

I need a bit more help with the math from the last chapter.

Can I see you this weekend?

Saturday, 10am, Seoul U entrance?

[You sent a message:]

Sure.

I'll see you.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Good.

Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.

[You sent a message:]

Fuck off.

You groan when Yves manages to charm you through text. Outfit ideas are already flowing through your head, and you sink your face into the comfort of your palms. Why do you even care about looking pretty for Yves?⁶

Well… that genuine grin she flashed after a muffled gasp of surprise when you wore a dress once in the past month was gorgeous on her. That was why.

You remember Yves actually having the slightest hint of a blush when looking at you, and she seemed to be a little less flirty that day, opting to take short glances at you when she thought you weren't watching. This newfound attention was… welcome. You couldn't deny feeling shy having Yves check you out. After all, you were just the nerd girl in class, and having this attention from a hot girl you could consider a crush not as much of a pain in your ass felt so good.

-----

Saturday arrives, and here you are, waiting outside Seoul University.

You choose to keep things simple: just a simple button-down dress with daisies printed on the fabric. Your hair is tied up in a cute bun. The pink backpack you carry completes the look, with a nice pair of flats.

The sun isn't too bright, and a cool breeze keeps you comfortable while waiting. You can't help but get nervous, though you know it is irrational to feel so. After all, this is just another study session. However, Yves's text to you earlier in the week keeps flashing across your eyes.

'Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.'

You know this is just a study session. However, a part of you dimly wishes that it isn't, before you hurriedly bash those thoughts with a hammer and then set them on fire.

The revving of a motorbike catches your attention before it zooms down the road. You can see the bike move across the lanes, then slowing to a stop in front of you. The rider, clad in all black leather, complete with jacket and boots, seems to freeze in front of you, before slowly drawing the helmet off their head.

"Hey, babygirl."

Yves grins at you, her eyes sweeping over your body. Her gaze lands on your legs, moving up to your torso, your chest, and then to your eyes and hair.

The next words she mutters are meant to be kept to herself, but you hear her anyway.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

Your heart takes off, pounding against your chest. You try to hide the flush on your face by staring at the ground, but you field a gaze to Yves, who looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights. She looks so handsome, so cool, and downright fucking hot at the same time.

Hmm… What would it feel like being pinned under her again?

The intrusive thought you have gets stamped out instantly, but the effect lingers—you can't help but check Yves out, feeling a rush of heat deep within your loins.

Her agreement with you was starting to look more and more appealing. Maybe you do have to teach her well.

"Get on."

"What?"

"Let's go. I gotta park the bike, and the cafe isn't close by. Get on."

Yves hands you a spare black helmet, and you hesitantly take it.

"Don't kill me."

"I won't." She grins. "I like you too much to think about doing that."

Your breath catches in your throat. It's not uncharacteristic of her to say things like that so easily, but maybe… just maybe… you want her to mean it.

You get onto the bike as Yves holds it steady. You don't know where to put your hands, but Yves grabs your arms, pulling them to wrap around her waist.

"Hold on tight, babygirl."

"Okay." You can't believe what's happening right now.

"I'm gonna go."

The engine revs.

-----

Yves trails behind you as both of you make your way to the cafe. Yves is quiet along the way, unlike her usual flirting if she caught you staring at her. When you glance back to her, you see her eyes dart away from you, staring at the floor as she swipes her hair back.

Weird.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Never been better, baby." Her reply is unconvincing, especially with a forced grin, but you don't want to really push her for a reply.

"Er… Okay. Sure."

Both of you make your way into the cafe, stopping by the counter to grab the menu. When you sit down at a table, Yves sits across you, her eyes locked onto you as you peruse your options.

"You're staring a lot today, Yves."

"Oh, um, er…" She looks away, her voice soft. This is very unlike her.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm feelin' great, ready to learn, and get good." She leans back, resting her hands on the armrests of her chair.

Oh.

She has a crop top on.

Oh my fucking God, she has abs.

You short circuit.

Two columns of defined muscle greet your eyes, as if to mock you. It wasn't like she was someone you didn't find hot. Now, you have to find out that she also has abs?!

Your mouth dries instantly, and you grab your bottle, taking a swig. The cool liquid quenches your physical thirst, but your mental thirst…

"Don't look too much, babygirl. You might get hypnotized."

Yves tilts your chin up with a finger, moving to lean close to your face.

"My eyes are up here."

Holy fucking shit, she's so fucking hot.

You wonder how you didn't notice them when she had that fishnet and crop top combo. Maybe her pants covered them, maybe you were blinded in your dislike for her. Whatever, you've seen them now. No reason to stop… respectfully staring, especially when you can.

"Look at me."

You meet Yves's smoldering gaze.

"Keep your eyes up here, babygirl." Her warm breath against your lips makes you yearn to lean in and close the gap. "I don't want them anywhere else when they're so beautiful."

You whimper involuntarily, and Yves chuckles.

"You're so fucking pretty, you know that?"

The shame that burns when you squeak and break your gaze to hide in the pretense of reading the menu is something you don't want to admit that you feel coursing through your veins, but it's there. When you lower the menu, Yves has her chin in her palm, her head tilted to the left, a satisfied grin on her features.

"I mean it, baby. You look really pretty today."

"T-Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's order, I'm starving."

"Okay."

"Oh." Yves leans towards you, lowering the menu to stare into your eyes once more. "You'll get to see what you want to see when I ace the exams. Be patient, babe."

You groan.

-----

That night, you toss and turn on the bed incessantly. Every time you close your eyes, you can feel hot breath across your lips, smell the scent emanating off Yves, and sense her burning gaze on you. Yves's handsome features are burnt deep into your head, and just the thought of her sends your heart pounding and temperature rising.

You think of her abs under her clothes, the defined muscle jumping out to your eyes. She already looks so good, so delicious, and yet, things only go up from here.

The rush of heat between your legs doesn't help things.

You turn again, ignoring your basest desires. Bedtime it is.

[ellitx]

Heyo am back with more venti brainrot for you ( was the anon with the reincarnation bard baby hc thank for answering the ask along with everyone elses 💚) but what if the reader finds out shes pregnant and tries to hide from him and avoid him as much as possible due to not wanting to tie him down since hes such a free spirit (if we dont know hes barbatos but if we do just not wanting to tie down the litteral god of freedom with a child)

You’ll be panicking really hard once you find out you’re pregnant. Traveler and Jean are calming you down and handing you a glass of water as they give you comforting words. You start to feel your eyes are turning watery and you’re really scared if Venti hears about this.

What will be his reaction? Knowing the fact that he is the god of freedom, does this hinder him from watching over his people’s safety? Will he be alright with it or will he leave you and his child? This is is an unplanned pregnancy after all and it’s both of your responsibility on what to do about it.

His opinion still matters in this situation and the two of you have to settle about this.

Venti will eventually notice you’re always sticking with Jean and Traveler, and whenever he approaches you to say hi, you just look away from him and stay quiet. He will get worried and starts apologizing if he did something that made you mad but you only shake your head at him and feigned a bright smile to assure him you’re fine.

Then why are you avoiding him?

You weren’t telling him why but he’ll understand. He’ll give you your own space until you’re comfortable enough to tell him or to be the first one to approach. Days and days of him waiting for you, he’ll be saddened and hurt you still ignore him. If you run away once more, he won't let you do it.

He’ll grab your hand and ask you one more time. “[Name], please, whatever is troubling you, you can tell me about it!” His eyes are begging. Begging to at least look at him and talk to him and you can see the hurtful emotion within those green orbs. Guilt is slowly eating you up and you know you can’t keep hiding and running from him forever.

You have to tell him the news right here, right now. Taking a deep breath, you looked at him straight in the eyes and squeezed his hand.

“Venti, please listen and take this seriously, okay? I don’t want you to joke about what I’ll say next...”

Your lover nodded his head and patiently waits for you to speak. Gulping down your fear and building up the courage, you’ve finally told him you’re carrying his child.

Venti stood there in complete stillness as if you didn't just walk a thousand miles to hold his hand, just in case you needed him. You did need him. He simply had no idea that you did. So, he was at a loss for words, he was processing your words that chimed from your lips— and it came to him how lucky he was to meet you.

He can taste the salty fluid that brushed his lips. Of how his cheeks have now been stained with wet tears that he didn’t even realize he was crying.

Crying from pure happiness and ecstasy.

“V-Venti...?”

“Sorry... I’m just— I’m just really happy to hear that.” He brushed his tears away with his sleeve as a bashful smile was now painted on his face. His cheeks warmed up and brought your hands close to his lips so he can kiss the back of your hand.

“I’ve always dreamt of creating a family of our own, love. To hear such great news from you made me feel even more lively and free than I could have ever imagined.” 

Venti gently brought you close to him and placed his forehead against yours as he lovingly brushed your cheek with his thumb. This was just the beginning and never did he knew that newfound hope and freedom was brightly waiting for him to create with you.

[friendofhayley]

I’m back after my hiatus from fanfiction, to give y’all the best multifandom recs of the fics I read this month. Shoutout to all content creators who helped us live to see the close of this year. This fic includes 15 fics for Sterek, Larry, Winteriron, and Geraskier. The starred ones put me through heaven and hell *chef’s kiss*.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. Six Letter Word for Romance by @troubleiwant | domestic kink - omg there’s only one bed - soft Derek - oblivious idiots in love - 6k

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

2. *Dirty Little Secret* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | Cora & Stiles bffs - no one can resist the Stilinski charm - celebrity Derek - human au - 91k

“Holy shit, this is a date!” he blurted out, turning back to Derek wide-eyed. “This is a date! You intended for this to be a date, this was supposed to be a date!” He figured if he said it enough times, maybe he would believe it, but so far, no dice.

Derek was scowling again—seriously, did he want wrinkles?—but he just reached into one of the bags and pulled out a burger, checking what was written on the foil in sharpie before handing it over to Stiles.

“Of course it’s a date, what did you think this was?”

3. Can You Feel A Whole New Part of Your World? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | i genuinely don’t look at authors names i just click i am sorry for spamming you but you write too good - neighbors Sterek - emotionally mature Stiles - the ideal fluffy world you’d want to live in - 53k

Can you hear me singing in the shower?” Stiles blurted out, because he had to know, now. If one of his neighbours had slid that note under his door, then it meant Parrish as another neighbour could hear him, too! He had to know if this was all a huge joke and one person had walked by and overheard him and decided to fuck with him.

Parrish gave him a weird look at the question, but answered anyway, making Stiles’ plans to leave the country speed up in his mind.

“Of course I can. You’re actually not bad. Though you have been singing a lot of Frozen lately, getting kind of tired of the soundtrack.”

4. Theory of Overprotective Canines by @petals42 | derek can turn into wolf - oblivious Stiles - future fic - mutual pining - 11k

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it.

Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf.

This is not going according to plan.

Larry (One Direction)

5. **The Changer and the Changed** by @homosociallyyours | literally the best fic of all time i want to live in there - girl direction - NYC ‘70s au - trans Zayn - the girls are so lovely - 59k

It’s the spring of 1977 and Harry Styles has just moved to New York City after graduating college. She knows she’s a lesbian. She just needs to figure out how to meet other lesbians.

Louis Tomlinson works at a popular women’s bookstore in the Lower East Side, Womon’s Direction, where she spends her days reading feminist literature, writing poetry, exchanging friendly barbs with her boss Niall, and dreaming of finding someone to love.

When Harry and Louis meet, their connection is instantaneous. Slowly but surely, Louis welcomes Harry into her community of women. Stonewall veteran and old school butch Niall; Liam, a land dyke who’s moved to the city for love; and Zayn, a lesbian musician who’s been ostracized by a vocal part of women’s community for being trans, welcome Harry with open arms, ready to help her find her place in New York City’s bustling lesbian scene.

6. others i’ve seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6 | aaaaaaaa it’s lesbian When Harry Met Sally !!! - rom com - girl direction - coming out and first times - really great sex - 20k

Louis sighs.

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?”

“That I’m naive and neurotic and would be hard pressed to ever find someone who could put up with me?” Harry snaps.

7. some things fade (some never do) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed | aaaaaa this story took me apart and back together again just like Louis and Harry - urban fantasy au - second chances - exes to friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - 25k

Matching tattoos. He’d never thought he’d be the type for tattoos to begin with, let alone matching or magical ones, but once Harry had put the idea in his mind it had never quite managed to disappear. And it had made sense. With their relationship a long distance one, this was simply another way of feeling close to one another. Of knowing where the other was, how they felt. It had made so much sense.

Back then.

8. we can take the long way home by @eleadore | i usually don’t rec my porn but there’s so much feels in this one - canon-divergent - kink discovery - friends to lovers - this was written in 2015 as a future fic but it felt like it was taking place now so good job - 27k

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

Winteriron (MCU)

9. **Dig No Graves** by @missaphelion | Tony finds out about his parents right after winter soldier au - Tony Stark has a heart - Bucky heals with bots and lots of sugar - slow burn - 142k

"I'm here to kill you, Terminator," Tony said slowly, "does that compute?"

The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. "Okay."

Tony froze. "Okay," he echoed. "I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is 'okay'?"

10. A Rifling Matter by Penndragon27 | Winter Soldier has such a big crush on Tony’s weapons, he escapes Hydra au - identity porn - pining Bucky - fluff and angst - Winter Soldier is a fanboy and it’s cute - 37k

All the Asset knows is fighting, killing.

He also knows a good weapon when he sees one and Stark Industries... they make some great weapons.

11. *Winter is Coming (aka Fifty First Avengers Dates)* by @tisfan & @everyworldneedslove | enemies to friends to lovers to 50 first dates - pining Bucky - Tony gets amnesia - no Steve bashing but he’s a little bit of an ass - mental health issues - 109k

Bucky Barnes is still mostly The Asset, and he's pretty sure Hydra is going to come back for him soon, so in the meantime he's just going to keep an eye on the Avengers for them. But then Clint spotted him hiding in the shadows, so Tony came out and dragged Bucky back to the Tower, threw him in the shower, and fed him cheeseburgers.

Now The Asset is having anomalous feelings. In his pants.

Geraskier (The Witcher)

12. *no reason to run* by @yoursummerfrost | different meeting au - only one bed but camping - cursed Jaskier - soft Geralt!!!! - poly negotiations - 61k

"You'll change your mind one day," says the innkeep. "The road can't love you back."

What a strange way to flatten something so beautiful, Jaskier thinks. What a small way to love.

13. *He Fell into a Faerie Ring* by @geraltnoises | Jaskier gets bardnapped after the fight au - non-human Jaskier - soft Geralt - Jaskier encourages people to be kind and becomes a god - emotionally mature Geralt - 57k

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.

14. Barking Up the Wrong Tree by KHansen | 5+1 things - I’m worried about Geralt’s skills - non-human Jaskier - monsterfucker Geralt - crack treated seriously - 11k

Geralt is 100% certain that Jaskier is a vampire.

He's 100% proven wrong.

15. Bardic Idyll by Lisztful | fake relationship - Geralt is soft and oblivious - pining - fluff and angst - Jaskier you can’t show your emotions mainly through song! - 13k

Jaskier is certain he can win the Continent's annual bardic competition, but he needs to be accompanied by a dashing romantic companion in order to enter. Enter Geralt, who is definitely, for sure, only interested in the free food, and not at all in staring lovingly into Jaskier's eyes.

[benedictscanvas]

objectively - spencer reid x reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none that I can think of unless you hate fluff (you monster)

A/N: My first Spencer Reid! I love this man so very much. Requested by @justkurotingz​ who I think is such a wonderful writer so I really hope I’ve done this justice! :)

---

It smelled like coffee and business. Keyboard tapping and idle chatter. There were teenage girls with elaborate concoctions to be sipped through straws, men in suits ordering espressos to go, one particular women taking an ungodly amount of time in the line to choose a cake for the weekly catchup with her friends.

You didn’t mind as much as some of the men in suits shaking their head in the line. Her friends were laughing at her and nudging them and the whole debacle only made you smile. There was nowhere else in the world you had to be, which was a rare feeling to be savoured as much as possible.

So you waited patiently as they made your drink and people watched along the way. A little boy with a slice of cake that he definitely wouldn’t finish. A man with a scarf half wrapped around his face trying to wrestle with the sugar container whilst also talking to someone on the phone. A woman on her phone in the corner. You frowned at that one. If she just looked up, took in the sights and the smells that surrounded her, she might not be sighing every two seconds before her acrylic nails began an incessant tapping on her screen.

“Y/N?”

You stepped forward and claimed your drink with a grateful nod, turning to the counter to put a little more sugar in it yourself. But clearly, you must’ve turned too quickly, because before you knew it there was hot coffee all over your arm and splashing onto the floor as you bumped straight into something solid with a gasp.

It took you a few moments to register the pain in your arm, but when you did, the person you’d bumped into was already grabbing napkins frantically and pressing them to your arm, mopping up as much of the burning liquid as he could as he rambled.

“I am so so sorry, I didn’t even see you I was on the phone and I must not have been concentrating,” he stopped and you finally looked up at him from your arm. It was scarf and sugar guy. He still hadn’t looked at you properly, focused on cleaning up your arm even though he was speaking into the phone propped between his ear and his shoulder now, “Shut up, Morgan, I didn’t even see her...I’m hanging up.”

He did just that and shoved his phone in his pocket. A disgruntled employee mopped up the spill on the floor while he had spoken. Suddenly he seemed to realise what he’d been doing, that he’d been cleaning up your arm without even asking. You felt stupid. You’d been just staring at him dumbly for such a long time, shocked into stillness by the burning and the sudden accident. But also, by some strange yet overwhelming urge for him to look up at you.

He sheepishly moved his eyes up to your face, biting his lip with worry like he was expecting you to scold him, or maybe even scald him with the little coffee remaining in your cup. Instead, you were standing there, looking at him. His eyes, specifically. You hadn’t seen them when you glanced over at him earlier. Now, it was like you’d become obsessed in a matter of seconds. One little moment. Sometimes, that was all it took.

You shook your head and tried to hide your embarrassment with a smile.

“What are you talking about? It was completely my fault. You didn’t get any on you did you?” you asked, checking him over. When you looked back up at him in his silence, you noticed he was still looking at you, a look in his eyes that meant it was your turn to bite your lip until he recovered himself.

“N-no, no I didn’t, it tipped your way,” he said nervously. He hurried threw the napkins he’d been patting your arm with in the bin and turned back to you, “Can I buy you another?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it,” you said easily, waving him away and trying to ignore the heat of your arm.

“Please?” he asked, taking you off guard with how earnest he sounded, “My coworker now knows I bumped into a woman and he’ll never let me hear the end of it if I don’t make it up to you somehow. It’ll only add to his opinion that I’m hopeless around the opposite sex, which may be a somewhat accurate opinion, but I’d rather not give him more reason to-”

“Hey, hey,” you said soothingly, stopping him from his rant in the hopes that he’d take a breath, “I could really do with my morning coffee, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

He let out a long overdue breath and, for the first time, he was smiling at you, this small shy smile that felt ridiculously infectious. You smiled back at him as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and willed yourself to pull it together, following him to the back of the line. Even from the back, scarf guy was too attractive for his own good. You rolled your eyes at yourself before he turned back around as you waited in the queue again.

“I’m Spencer, by the way. And you must be-” he ducked his head to read the name on your cup, “Y/N?”

“That’s me,” you said brightly, “You’re sure you don’t have somewhere to be?”

“I always leave myself at least an extra half an hour in case the line’s too long or something, so I’m fine. What about you?”

“A rare day off,” you mused with a smile, “The feeling of having literally nowhere to be is one of my favourites.”

“It is a pretty nice feeling,” Spencer said wistfully, as if he were just guessing that and you frowned.

“You don’t get much of that?” you asked and he tilted his head at you. You shrugged shyly, “I just mean, the way you said it. Didn’t sound like you really knew what that felt like.”

There was that look in his eyes again. The one you thought you might recognise but didn’t want to name, because you’d only become more bashful than you already felt.

“I suppose I don’t. I work for the FBI, in the Behavioural Analysis Unit. It can be...intense.”

“Wow,” you said seriously, looking at him with newfound awe, “That’s amazing. I’m so impressed with everything your team has done. You work under SSA Aaron Hotchner?”

His brow furrowed and he made that little confused face that you were already enamoured with.

“Yeah I do. You’ve heard of us?” he asked, looking a little more wary now, and you realised that most people who said that probably didn’t have the best intentions with the guy. You chuckled as you lifted your cardigan just a little.

“Don’t worry, I’m a cop,” your badge shone from its place on your belt before you let your cardigan hang over it again, “You helped one of my friends from back home with a case a while back. She said you lot were the best and from everything I’ve seen since, she was right.”

His blush was prominent as he stared at his shoes, scuffing them against the floor, but you didn’t grin like you wanted to, not wanting him to think you were teasing him.

“We just come and help where we can,” he mumbled, “Nothing special.”

“You know, Spencer,” you said sincerely, making him look back up at you, “If I had to guess, I’d say you were pretty special.”

He paused, still looking at you. Silence. You worried you might have said the wrong thing.

But then, a grin.

---

“...and that was the moment I fell in love with him,” you said finally, glancing from the people around the table to Spencer beside you who was staring at you with that same look from that day in the coffee shop, which you now knew to be awe and adoration all rolled into one. You smiled at him, leaning further into his side as you squeezed his leg.

“I can’t believe you guys have never told us how you met before,” Garcia sounded like she was caught up in the dreamy romance of it all and you couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“I knew!” Derek cut in with a sly little smirk directed at Spencer, “Only because later in the day I asked pretty boy why he hung up on me.”

“Derek, I don’t think-”

“You know what he told me, Y/N?” Derek continued, ignoring Spencer’s attempts to cut him off as you leaned forward excitedly, “He told me that he’d met, subjectively, the most beautiful girl in the world. That it was love at first sight.”

“That is not what I said-”

“Okay, well maybe not those exact words, but it was words to that effect, right Reid?” he said teasingly and Spencer was blushing, looking down into his lap. You put two fingers under his chin and brought his face to yours.

“Subjectively?” you asked, eyebrows raised and he shook his head.

“He’s got the words wrong, because he’s an idiot,” he directed his last comment with a side eye at Derek that had the whole table laughing, before whispering so only you could hear, “I said objectively, the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“Should hope so,” you murmured, grabbing his tie and leaning in to kiss him. You had to pull away quickly when the chorus of ‘aww’s and groans sounded out around the table and reminded you where you were. You chuckled and smoothed down his tie.

“You two kids are going to make each other very happy,” Dave chimed in from the head of the table as you rested your head on Spencer’s shoulder and looked around the group and the soppy smiles on their faces as they stared at you and Spencer. You knew they were happy just to see him happy. Most of them had come up to you privately to have conversations about how good you had been for him. It was all you could want, “To Spencer and Y/N!”

“To Spencer and Y/N!”

Everyone cheered, raising their glasses to you both and you had to fight down a tear or two. Spencer reached for your hand, entwining it in his own and brought it up to his lips, kissing your ring before resting both your hands in his lap as the conversation around the table continued.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 17

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: Feelings! PTSD! Anxiety! Clint! Team bonding! Reader is a badass 😍 And comic book medical accuracy .

Un-beta-ed.

"It smells like a liquor factory in here," Bucky's voice came from the kitchenside, followed by noises of the team's arrival. Via portal, because the elevator made zero noise.

"I suggest you avoid the area around me and Clint. It might be contaminated." My voice sounded sharp to my own ears. I sat in silence for several hours, waiting for the team's return, while Clint restlessly dozed next to me.

My words caused the team to freeze in their tracks, owlishly blinking at me and at Clint laying sprawled on the floor, surrounded by plastic bags and biological hazard containment units. Tony's helmet swiftly covered his face - I heard muffled sounds coming from within, probably Friday's explanations. In seconds, the helmet retracted, showing an extremely worried Tony.

"How do you feel, Princess? Any weakness, any pain?"

"No symptoms, Tony. Just a fuckton of anxiety," I admitted, avoiding the concerned looks of Tony's teammates. "I almost drowned the room in alcohol but warned you just to be safe. Also, your alien pathogen protocol sucks."

"We made it so unauthorized personnel wouldn't get their hands on Thor's or Loki's blood samples," Bruce supplied meekly from where he was leaning against Steve, wearing a tattered hoodie and his hulk-out pants. "Off to decon we go," The scientist sighed. "Friday, code seven-zero-three-five-five. Pull up the data you gathered. In the shower." The man was exhausted, yet the call of science seemed to give Bruce a tiny energy boost. With newfound determination, he waddled to the communal showers, the rest of the team in tow.

Natasha's stare was truly unnerving. I was fully aware she and Barton had long history; the fact that I had to respond to one of the deadliest assassins if I had made even the slightest mistake - anxiety mixed with blind terror in me. I fought the nausea and the headache, focusing on Clint's hair between my fingers. His steady breathing.

He'd be okay. He had to be okay.

"You did great, Princess," The time passed in a blink. Bruce's warm hands were encompassing mine - gently pulling me away from Clint. I looked at Banner's face with unseeing eyes.

"I heard what Friday said and I can only applaud your quick thinking. You saved his life," Strange, sounding uncharacteristically quiet and bashful, parroted Bruce, hovering behind the scientist. His angular face was contorted in sorrow. "I believe I should apologize for dropping Barton onto you like that. I underestimated the extent of his injuries." The man sounded so, so guilty.

"I saved his life," I repeated in disbelief. Surely they were exaggerating.

"You did, malysh. For that, I am grateful," Natasha's hand found my own, squeezing briefly, before following Steve that had picked up a still-sleeping Clint, to, presumably, carry him to medical. "Come on, Banner, we need you."

Banner gave me a brief squeeze of his own, taking his leave, scurrying after Romanoff. I was left awkwardly standing in front of Strange, both of us disheveled and dazed.

"I ordered pizza," I said, just to fill the grim silence.

"Okay," Just like that, he snapped out of his trance, sitting down on the couch and picking up his food.

The others trickled in, Bucky, Pete, Thor, Loki, Sam, Wanda, Pietro. I saw it all like it was tinted by a thick fog. Their words made a jumbled cacophony when they reached my ears. Tony's arm around me - that woke me up, slightly. I focused on my favourite thing in the world - the faint smell of him, a mix of soap, machine oil and expensive cologne.

"She's shellshocked," Bucky suddenly said, pointing at me.

"No," I frowned. "No. I may be a fumbling idiot but I don't have PTSD."

Tony's breath stuttered in his chest. Promptly, I was turned around, a pair of intelligent brown orbs sharply gazing into my eyes. "Princess?"

"I'm so glad y'all are alright," I choked out, fisting the cotton of his shirt in my palm. "Even Stephen the asshole. Team bonding wouldn't be the same without his sarcasm," Hurrying to hide the fact that I was scared shitless, I did what I do best. I joked.

"Gods, you two are really a match made in heaven," Wanda's tired voice had 110% eye-roll in it. "So much self-deprication, almost as much as brilliance." The witch usually refrained from commenting on people's private thoughts. Usually, but not that day.

"I am relieved to know you hold me in high regards," Stephen's sarcastic remark made it's way around a mouthful of pizza.

Bucky's phone beeped. "They're saying Clint will be out in a few hours. No permanent damage, the gash on his leg won't scar and he's demanding Tony buy his saviour a cake," With a smile, the soldier read the text's contents out loud. "Also, the resident doc wants to hire you." Bucky pointed at me with a teasing grin.

"I, umm, I," Stammering, way to go. "I just - uh, I googled and I improvised? I'm not a doctor or a scientist, I'm a high school student," I replied, voice raising half an octave higher.

"Told you Tony, she's a friggin' genius," Peter sounded way too smug for someone who had a bruise half the size of his head.

"That she is," Tony's voice... Was different. It was honeyed and warm, blanketing me, surrounding me with safety. His arms tightened around me - not uncomfortably so, just enough to ground his presence in my personal space. I snuggled into him happily - he didn't mind at all. The cold glow and faint humming of his arc reactor calmed me. "Friday, cake. Princess cake from the bakery on Seventeenth."

Wow, Tony knew my favourite kind of cake. That was amazing.

"On it, boss." The AI immediately replied. "Well done, Miss." Friday addressed me with the same tone I heard in the lab. Gentle and understanding. It was so very strange.

We mulled around the living room until the pizza was gone and half the occupants were snoring away, dead where they sat. It was an unanimous decision to pull out the unfolding couch and form a cuddle pile of sorts - after such a long and grueling mission with one of their own facing the brink of death, all the superheroes were more than a little unsettled. I didn't exactly know where I fit in that. Obviously, all of them were close in one way or another. Even Loki and Stephen, seeing them get cussed out by Thor for attempting to leave was kind of amusing.

But it got me wondering. Maybe they felt like imposters, too? After all, I wasn't special. Loki wasn't considered a good guy. And Stephen was too much of a lone wolf. All three of us were comfortable alone, used to dealing on our own.

One look from Tony, Stark-patented puppy eyes, and I was making space for myself and for Stephen. Even if Loki insisted on grumbling all the way through, his exhaustion showed in the way he leaned on Thor's arm, using a weakly glimmering spell to summon himself a book and then closing his eyes for a moment.

Muted cheering broke out the moment elevator doors opened, showcasing a pale but smiling Clint held up on both sides by Natasha and Steve, Bruce half asleep on the blonde's other side.

"Looking pretty good for a dead bitch," Clint grinned in my direction.

I couldn't resist the bait. The boomer knew his memes, after all. "She's alive!"

He patted my leg, making his way to a free spot on the ginormous sofa bed. "Aw, pizza," He groused, spying the empty boxes.

"Should arrive in ten minutes," Bucky quipped, waving his phone. Then, the brunette super-soldier looked at me pointedly. "We usually order double after long missions."

"Duly noted, y'all hungry peoples." I said, filing it away for later. Thinking about more missions, more near-death experiences wasn't something I wanted to handle that very moment.

"So, uh, what exactly happened? My memory is pretty spotty," Clint demanded once he got his hands on some food.

"I also need to know. You're going to have to sign a statement and a mission report," Natasha stated apologetically.

I looked at her, confused. "Like... How many details do you need?"

Tony shifted beside me uncomfortably. I put a steadying hand on his leg - my palm was immediately dwarfed by his own. Natasha gave him a Look. "Fury's eyes only, but SHIELD needs to know how you figured out to neutralise a potential alien threat. Bruce ran some tests and this pathogen is... Pretty nasty, to say the least. It has the survivability to be classified as a potential weapon." Natasha's voice was apologetic, once more.

What have I gotten myself into? I was just trying to save a friend. "First of all, I'm not working for Men in Black, like, ever," I made the point to look her in the eyes. A brief moment later, she nodded. Tony relaxed, exhaling soundly. "Okay, get your reading glasses on. It went like this..." I retold the story, taking careful note to voice my thought processes as much as I remembered them. Save for a few surprised gasps and Tony haphazardly kissing the top of my head, the team gave me no interruptions.

Bruce was the first one to react once I was done. "But... How did you think of bloodletting? It's such an unusual solution," He mumbled more to himself.

"I've watched enough horror movies to know better than to introduce a foreign bacteria, such as antibiotics, to a person with an alien infection," I deadpanned, spying a satisfied smile on Stephen's face. "Worst case scenario, the substitution of infected blood with healthy would have diluted the amount of parasites or deflected their attention from eating away Clint's nerve endings. Him going bazinga from pain was my main concern," I admitted, the archer's pained cries once again filling my ears. The memory was still fresh.

"That makes sense," Bruce nodded.

"And what would you have done?" I asked, unable to withhold my curiosity.

"Sedated Clint while I examine the specimens," Banner replied with the obvious. "Then figure out how to cure the infection."

I nodded along slowly. "I considered that option but ultimately, I was too chicken to entertain the possibility of the parasites interacting with heavy sedatives. Fentanyl affects some of the blood components the parasites eat so only God knows how it might have ended."

Banner was impressed, that much was obvious. Tony's lips once again landed on the crown of my head, gentle and warm. More and more people in the room were giving me impressed, happy, grateful looks. It was strange and I squirmed in my spot, putting the half-eaten pizza slice back in the box, Steve immediately eyeing it in contemplation.

"Have at it, you human garbage disposal," I muttered, laying down comfortably. I was still shivering from the adrenaline rush and the soft blanket cocoon I shared with Tony and Stephen - their combined body heat under it - called to me like a siren.

"Are you well?" Loki noticed my state, casting a dark look over the edge of his book.

"Yeah, just cold. Us humans shiver when coming off an adrenaline rush," I remarked absently, pressing myself closer to Tony.

The engineer laid down, spooning me, tangling our legs together. We slept like that, all over each other, every time I stayed in his bed. It felt comfortable, like home, and nobody seemed to mind. Peter and Wanda, already snoozing away, were in a similarly indisposed state, octopus-ing their nearest teammates. Friends. Family.

My eyes drooped. My chest was about to burst with an odd sort of content - quiet, steady and welcoming. Tony's beard tickled my neck, breaths coming in soft puffs against my nape, spreading warmth all over me.

And there was something - someone warm in front of me, too, I could smell the sandalwood and spices of his cologne. Abandoning all reservations, I shamelessly wrapped both of my arms around a larger, more muscular one, taking note to avoid Stephen's scarred, sensitive hands. The flat of his tummy under my palm was rising and falling steadily, his breathing almost in sync with Tony's and mine.

All of us were safe and alive. It mattered to me, perhaps, more than I'd ever cared to admit out loud. As much as I refused to let them all in, for real and beyond silly gimmicks, they still wormed their way inside my heart, inside my brain. Not with long discussions and talking feelings - hell no, that's the hard and the boring shit, but with simply their presence.

Hugs. Mario Kart tournaments. Cake after I'd done good at something. Sunday morning pancakes for all. Homework. Sciencing together. Catching up on memes and just watching funny YouTube videos together. Playing Twister and Monopoly.

For the first time in my life, I had a stable presence. I belonged somwhere. It felt too good to deny, so once again, I allowed myself to be selfish.

✨ Taglist of my lovelies ✨ still open.

@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading

[absoluteyoongit]

in loving memory

⇢ pairing: ghost!taehyung x gender neutral!reader, jin x gender neutral!reader

⇢ genre: big angst, with a little fluff

⇢ word count: 10.1K

⇢ warnings: MCD nothing graphic tae’s just...yk a ghost, reader has depression and anxiety

⇢ summary: the love of your life was gone, he wasn’t coming back. At least in any way you could hope for.

⇢ author’s note: bueller is finally back with some angst. thanks to @youarejesting​, @rougebangtan​, and @bangtanloverboys​ for reading this and giving me words of encouragement, it means so much to me. Also thank you @purpleskies1999​ for the amazing banner, I love it.

part of btsghostiewriters bingo bash: prompt- ghost

~

Have you ever loved someone so much you ceased living for yourself but lived for them?

That was the only explanation Taehyung could imagine as to why he sat silently, watching you sleep peacefully from the corner of the room. The person he loved so dearly looked captivating even In deep sleep. His gaze, vigilant on your vulnerable form.

Your soft snores filled the otherwise silent room. Drool pooling at the base of the pillow where your mouth laid open against it. Round cheeks puffing up as your face squished against the pillow. Strands of wild hair standing in all different directions from bed head. Arms holding the body pillow in a death grip with knuckles tense. Eyelids fluttering as you dreamed—of something happy, Tae wished—nose flexing as you breathed in and out. A streak of moonlight adorned your face, highlighting the still damp tear stains that had yet to dry.

Taehyung admired you from afar, so close but the farthest away he could ever be.

He pried his eyes away from your sleeping figure for the first time since you collapsed onto the bed from exhaustion.

The usually tidy, cozy studio apartment was an abandoned disheveled mess. A mountain of dirty dishes waiting to be washed piled around the kitchen sink, worn clothes littered the ground—despite not changing your oversized sweater in the past week or so—a stockpile of takeout boxes cluttered on the ground next to the already full garbage can. Plants you had painstakingly cared for wilted. Art and pictures that once decorated the walls, taken down and placed in a corner to not be seen again. Pictures of him and you.

Taehyung’s eyes rested on the picture you found earlier, the memory which caused your emotional outburst, leaving you drained. The picture was from your second anniversary. He took you to the city’s local fair, the same place the two of you had your first date, the same place as your first kiss. Both of you just got off of a deathtrap of a ride; your hairs stuck up in different directions from being blown out, much like the bed head you sported at the moment. Your arms clung to his waist as you walked forward while he wrapped around your shoulders. The two of you possessed the biggest smiles of your life, eyes crinkled in euphoria. You looked toward the camera while his gaze was on you like it always was. That was the happiest day of his life besides the day you said yes. Your smile from that day was almost identical to the one in this picture but with the addition of joyful tears.

It was a shame he never got to see you walk down the aisle.

The smile he wore did not reach his eyes. He never would have left you if he knew you would end up in this state. It has been months since he’s been gone but you continued falling down, spiraling out of control, never trying to climb back out. He couldn’t stand it, seeing you like this. He hated it. He realized a long time ago that he could not do anything about it.

Taehyung remembered the day it happened. He woke up in a hospital, surrounded by frightening cords and monitors. Bolting from his bed, frantically searching for your room to hope you were okay, alive. Now he realized that was too easy, too straightforward. He should have known that leaving the bed without any struggle was a red flag but all he cared about was whether you were okay or not.

It wasn’t until he reached your room that the realization occurred. You were unconscious but alive, the monitor checking your heartbeat sounded off steadily. Before he could ask the attending nurse about your condition, she walked through him.

The initial shock of his death was quick. He cried over your body, inconsolable, until the moment you opened your eyes. Ever since then all he cared about was you but Why make you his unfinished business if he couldn’t do anything to ease your pain.

He sighed, there was nothing to be done, nothing he could change. He would gladly die again if it had to be him or you. Hell, he would have gotten himself killed if you died in the accident and not him. Life would not be worth it without you in it. He prayed to whatever was out there that you were stronger than he was and continued on. He would be content to watch you for eternity even if it meant watching you move on.

The thought of you meeting someone new left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. On one hand, he would do anything to see your bright smile again but on the other, he wanted to be the cause of that smile and no one else.

A soft whimper stirred him from his trance, his head snapping to you in worry. Another nightmare? Your lower lip quivered as your breaths grew more labored and heavy. The arms that already held his pillow close crushed them tighter, your eyes squeezing harder. Baby hairs stuck to your face, dampening from the sweat collecting on your skin.

On instinct, Taehyung rushed over to your side. The once heavy pads of his feet registering as nothing more than a mere whisper in the dark room. The palms of his hands steadied him as he leaned towards your shivering body, your cries now louder than low whimpers.

Taehyung’s focus was entirely spent on trying to soothe you; so singularly focused that he missed the way the bed dipped from his invisible weight or the way the blanket shifted when his foot slid across it.

He looked down at your crying features, faces inches apart, so close that if he was paying attention he would notice the ghost of his breath flutter against your eyelashes.

All he wanted was to comfort you but like the many times since he left, he was unsure about how to help. For all he knew, you could not feel his presence. You didn’t feel the way he clung to you as you sat alone in the hospital crying after hearing the news or the way he held your hand during his funeral. You never reacted to him then so why should you now?

That didn’t stop him from closing the distance between your faces, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. The wrinkles that settled there slowly relaxed as your cries gradually lessened into hiccups. The fierce grip on the pillow he used to use loosened, your knuckles no longer white.

The soft adoration he felt seeing you calm down dissipated and was replaced by pure shock once he realized what just happened. You reacted to him. You felt his lips, at least felt them enough to ease you back into a more peaceful slumber. He held his useless breath, the disbelief lingering on his face as he moved to touch you more. Rough calloused hands cupped your jaw, thumbs rubbing in a soothing motion. His heart stopped for the second time that night as he witnessed you lean closer into his embrace. He could not believe it. After months of losing hope he would ever connect to you again, you felt his presence, even if you responded in your sleep.

Pure excitement filled Taehyung’s veins as he gripped both sides of your face, planting fervent kisses all over. He was desperate for you to feel his love for you, desperate to let you know that he was still around and that he would never leave.

You stirred, feeling the lightest of pecks all over your face. The sensation was cold but something about these chilling phantom touches warmed your heart, they were familiar and comforting. Opening your eyes, you felt an unexplainable disappointment seeing only a streak of light from the streetlight on your ceiling.

Your heart clenched. You swore you felt a weight, felt someone, felt him, on top of you. You held back a sob, trying not to cry again. The memories of the accident and the white walls of the hospital already haunted your dreams. You didn’t need this delusion to bring forth more memories. Finally catching your breath, you sat up and eyed the clock on your nightstand. 4:52 am. You exhaled, deciding to start your day in fear of what you would see if you closed your eyes again.

Taehyung’s eyes followed you with sadness from his position on the bed. You had looked straight through him. Deep down he knew that you would never actually see him again but the longing on your face as you unknowingly stared into his eyes devastated him.

His lingering eyes trailed you as you made coffee. Taehyung was mesmerized by the way your body gracefully moved about the kitchen, the way he always did when he was alive. He longed for the touch of your soft skin, longed for your fingers as they threaded through his wavy hair. Craved the way your long legs would wrap around his waist as he pressed against a hard surface. He yearned for the silk of your lips against his. He missed the way your body fit perfectly against his.

An optimistic smile replaced the solemn one on his face, a newfound hope bubbling up in his chest. You felt him. Even if you did not see him or recognize his touch, you still felt him. There was hope that he could make you understand that he was still here, with you.

Taehyung was a determined man. If he didn’t pass on because of his love for you he was going to try with all of his might to make you feel it.

~

The city seemed more crowded than usual as you silently weaved in and out of the masses on the sidewalk. Maybe it was the fact you haven’t left your apartment since the funeral that fueled your anxiety. It’s been three months since you have come into contact with this many people; grateful that your boss allowed you to work remotely part-time while you grieved. It would have been impossible to show your face at work.

However, your vacation from work was ending soon and the very thought of witnessing pity on your coworkers’ faces when you returned made you sick. You needed some casual human interaction as preparation before heading back to the warzone; so when your friend Jin reached out, offering to take you out for lunch, you accepted. It was the little nudge you needed to start integrating back into normal life. At least, as normal as it could get.

Taking a moment to look down at your clothes, you grimaced. Stained sweatpants—from what looks like pizza or some kind of hot sauce—a huge oversized Nike sweater, and a pair of mismatched socks with sandals. You were a mess. Not only were you regretting not putting a little more effort into your outfit because of the stares you got but also because you were sweating. It wasn’t scalding out but the unblocked sun in the sky made it feel many degrees hotter than it actually was. Hopefully, Jin would take pity on you; not his actual pity but if he commented on your attire you’d probably cry.

One of your favorite cafés came into view; reading its name made your mouth dry. The anxiety building up from your journey here reached a boiling point. This was a bad idea.

You and Taehyung would come to this very café every day after your shared English class, freshman year of university. You froze, not bearing the thought of stepping inside. The window booth where the two of you would always study together was in full view. This is where you fell in love with him.

“Do you want your usual? I’m buying today.”

“You can’t say you’re buying every time we come here. How are you not broke yet?”

He shrugged, “I am smart with my money. I only spend it on things I care about.”

“You care about my coffee?”

“I care about you.”

Taehyung confessed to you here that day, he asked you on your first date here, he asked you to be his partner here. It was all too much. The pain in your chest grew, breath quickening, as you stood at the storefront. Jin was in clear view, sitting in the exact spot Taehyung would sit at. Flashes of his face replaced Jin’s as you imagined Taehyung sitting there, waiting for you. Why did you agree to meet here when Jin suggested it? Maybe he would understand if you canceled on him right now. It wasn’t unreasonable right?

Your shoulders twisted, ready to turn around and run, but something stopped you. It felt like a chilling breeze on a cold day, except it didn’t pass over you, it was isolated on your shoulder. The cold air swirled around your body, tickling you. The sensation was comforting, almost as if it was urging you forward toward the entrance of the restaurant. It reminded you of the invisible weight you felt just a week ago.

On instinct, you let the cool touch guide you inside towards your awaiting friend. As soon as Jin locked gazes with you the feeling left, strangely leaving you colder than before despite the heat outside. Jin waved you over with a gentle smile on his face. You donned a nervous one, walking over and sitting down.

Taehyung watched as you and Jin conversed through the window. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He could not believe that worked.

In all honesty, Taehyung was a nervous wreck. Sure, he was able to wake you up with his touch a few nights ago but doubt swelled in him since then. He worried that it was all a figment of his imagination, some cruel force messing with him. He refrained from attempting to touch you again because of that fear; scared that the little blossom of hope he held would wilt away. But seeing you stand frozen, in your own fear, in front of the place that carried so many memories, made him snap. He needed to have you know that you were not alone, you had people who cared. He could not let you run away from the one friend you two shared.

That’s when in desperation, Taehyung grabbed your shoulder. He barely felt the warmth of he knew your body provided but it was there. Just like the night where his kisses found your face, he felt only a fraction of the warmth he used to. It was enough for him. The weak sensation connected him to you. He craved it and desired it more than anything to feel that connection and comfort from his touch.

Taehyung felt desperate. Desperate for you to recognize he was here, that he just didn’t fade into oblivion, that his love was stronger than death.

He focused back on the reunion at hand, he would figure out his next steps later but for now, he wanted you to feel better than you did this morning. He hoped Jin could help.

Jin did help. He made you use your voice for the first time in months that did not involve crying. However, the conversation didn’t last long. As much as you needed the social interaction you were overwhelmed from the phantom presence earlier. It frightened you. It didn’t scare you in the way where you feared something bad would happen. No, it was more about the way your body reacted to it. Like the familiar affectionate touch of a friend’s hand on your shoulder, it made you feel lighter. It confused you. The thoughts scattered around your head blocked you from having any meaningful conversation with Jin. Short straight to the point responses was all you could muster.

You tried ignoring the concerned look on Jin’s face after exchanging pleasantries for the fourth time but you could tell that he wasn’t going to be quiet about it for long. Jin was always upfront and blunt, something you admire about him, but it made you nervous now.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

Jin watched you flinch as the words left his mouth. That simple question held a monstrous weight. Jin knew that. He knew that question could trigger a waterfall of pent up emotions. He was prepared though. In his opinion, the dam you had built over the past three months needed to break.

You were a dam. Someone who bottled up their feelings, preferring to deal with them alone until one day you crack. Jin wanted to be there for you when that day came. You had been alone for so long he was afraid of what would happen if you retreat into yourself again.

When he set up this rendezvous he expected you to be emotional. That’s why he picked this café; he wanted you to be vulnerable with him. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to be stuck in a stupor. Your one to two word responses did not satisfy him. He was worried even more now.

Y/N and Taehyung were some of his closest friends, so when he heard that both of you ended up in the hospital because of an accident and only one of you was recovering it was heartbreaking.

It hurt him more when you cried at the hospital and the funeral. You didn’t let anyone touch you or console you. It was the lowest he’s ever seen you and it was evident that you have not improved over the past couple of months. Jin knew that you and Taehyung had something special; the word love could not describe all the feelings the two of you had for each other. The two of you convinced him soulmates existed.

“Do you want to go home? I understand if this is too much right now,” Jin gently pressed, “I’ll still be here tomorrow if you need today.” His hand slid across the table to where your hands fisted, tenderly smoothing his thumb over your tense knuckles. Wordlessly you nodded. You began your day hopeful but now all you were was overwhelmed.

Jin's gaze lingered on you as you got up and exited the café without a goodbye. You were not ready for him today but he was determined to help you get back on your feet soon. He wouldn’t leave you like this, he couldn’t, not when you were special to him.

~

The next few weeks consisted of slow improvements.

After failing to genuinely speak to another human being you asked your boss for another two months out of the office. While she was hesitant to allow it, the desperation in your emails convinced her to say yes. Since then Jin had gradually maneuvered into your daily life.

One day he came knocking, asking if he could come in to clean. It took a short argument before you allowed him inside. You felt terrible, disgusted even, because of the state of your apartment. You couldn’t bring yourself to clean it. Jin had simply said, “You need this and I am going to do it for you because I care.”

You watched him from the bed, ashamed that even as he cruised around the apartment you couldn’t help. A weight on your shoulders prevented you. Jin did not speak another word to you that day; silently loading the washer with the clothes that scattered the floor, picking up the random trash littering your space, and washing the dishes that piled up in your kitchen.

Jin didn’t even say goodbye to you as he quietly left the apartment, taking two full trash bags out with him. When you left the bed after he left you examined his work. It wasn’t spotless but it was the cleanest it has been since the day Taehyung died. You appreciated Jin’s gesture and made a promise to him and yourself that you would try and keep it clean. Your heart felt a little lighter that day.

The next time Jin invaded your space he brought food with him. It wasn’t the same old take out that made up your diet as of late but a cozy home-cooked meal. The dish wasn’t your favorite but the action was enough for the knot in your chest to loosen and make your cheeks rosy. Every day since the café, Jin made a considerable effort to connect with you, even if all it only was a good morning and goodnight text. To say you were grateful was an understatement. The more he reached out the more you returned and soon enough you craved his presence. With him, life became easier. It almost balanced out the longing you felt from the cold caresses you felt daily since the time in front of the café.

The touches started off light, leaving you to doubt they even existed, then they got stronger and stronger each day. From the feeling of a cool hand against your neck to the sensation of fingers threading through yours. One night, when it was hard to find sleep, you swore your hair moved as if someone was playing with it. Whatever it was, it helped you fall asleep and every other night you could fall asleep.

Whatever it was only scared you at the beginning. The day you met up with Jin was overwhelming in a lot of ways and the phantom encouragement did not help. The first few times it happened since then you flinched away, only to soon relax and find comfort in the cold.

The nostalgia in the invisible force was powerful, all-consuming. Whenever you felt its presence it felt like someone wrapped you in the fluffiest blanket and sat you in front of a fireplace. You started feeling warmth in the coldest touch.

You wanted to tell Jin, you really did, but you were afraid of what he would think. You almost felt normal, that things were going to be okay. Jin was proud of you and your improvements. You tell from the way he smiled when you cooked him instead or when you willingly wandered around the city with him, no destination in mind. You were afraid that the mere mention of a ghostly caress against your cheek would bring back the worry in his eyes. You did not want to lose the admiration you could see in his eyes.

Inch by inch your life was returning to a new normal. He wasn’t with you anymore but Jin slowly filled the giant hole in your heart, along with the phantom whose touch reminded you of him. It's almost like he never left.

~

Still being in love with someone who was dead hurt a lot. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at the picture taken on your second anniversary. It was almost a year since his death and you felt the need to look through the pictures you carefully tucked away in your apartment and your memory.

Furiously rubbing your eyes, too stubborn to let any tears fall, you dropped the frame on the kitchen counter. It was too painful to look at. Why did you think this was a good idea, right before the anniversary of his death? It felt like all your hard work, building up your confidence, and mending the tear in your heart, was all for nothing. You would never stop loving him. What was the point of moving on?

At that moment you felt so alone, more alone than at Taehyung’s actual funeral. Your arms circled around yourself, attempting to bring yourself some comfort. The apartment felt so cold without him.

The phantom touch you have come to crave snaked around you, resting on top of your arms. The isolated breeze whipped around making you shudder, an invisible weight laid on your shoulder. You never got used to how the cold warmed your heart. It didn’t matter anymore, especially at this moment, the touch was comforting and that’s all you needed to finally let your tears fall, the dam breaking.

Minutes passed as you cried hard in the cool embrace. Ugly sobs wracked your body leaving you weak. You would have dropped to your knees if it wasn’t for the invisible hold on your body.

Soon the familiar fire burned in your chest, coaxing you down till the cries turned into quiet hiccups, then silence. Only the sound of your occasional sniffle and beating heart filled the room. Still standing, your eyelids drooped down from exhaustion. Sleep would take over any minute now but you didn’t want the cold arms around you to leave. Deep down you knew they weren’t going away anytime soon but that didn’t stop you from fearing this would be the last time you felt this comfort.

Taehyung’s heart broke watching you cry. He knew that the closer his death date approached the more fragile you would become. That is why he had grown bolder in the ways he touched you, from kissing your eyelids while you tried to sleep to mischievously tapping you hard to give you a quick fright. He realized it was cruel the first couple times he did it but how else would he convey his silly side to you.

Holding you now like this took the most effort he’s ever had to exert; with the kisses and caresses, he didn’t have to support you. It took a lot of energy to do this but listening to your sobs die down to a whisper made it worth it. Taehyung’s eyes snapped down to your face, hearing a light snore coming out of your parted mouth. You had fallen asleep in his arms. It brought a soft smile to his face which was quickly replaced by dread. He did not know how long he could maintain this.

Your unconscious body leaned further into the cold, the familiar feeling of Taehyung’s grasp. It was cruel how much the cold felt like him but your body did not care, continuing to lean back into nothing. The soles of your feet lifted as the last of Taehyung’s energy faded. He sharply inhaled as your body fell straight through his incorporeal body.

You woke with a thud, groaning against the floor. You slowly pried your eyes open, disoriented from the fall and quick nap. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you leaned against the counter from your position on the floor. You were emotionally exhausted. You let out a defeated sigh, bringing your arms around you once more. Sleep did not find you again that night as you silently gazed out the large apartment window till the sun came up.

~

The door of your apartment slammed shut, jolting you awake from your position over your now soggy cereal. You knew who it was, there was no one else in your life that was close enough to you to earn the extra key to your apartment. As soon as you gifted it to him Jin took it as an invitation to visit you unannounced at any time.

The sound of dangling keys drew your attention to Jin’s face. It was no secret that your friend was attractive, hell, he brought it up all the time. As the two of you grew closer that turned more into an inside joke. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for some kind of greeting, but your mind was solely focused on the way his white shirt exposed his prominent collarbone. That singular focus shifting to gaze at his beauty in full; broad shoulders, plump pouty lips, strong le–

“Get up! Come on, we are going out today” Jin commanded, breaking you from your shameless adoration of his body.

“What if I don’t want to go out?” you pouted but in reality, you knew you needed to get out. As the anniversary of Taehyung’s death came you became closed off. Jin didn’t blame you for being distant but he didn’t want you falling back into a downward spiral and neither did you. You depended on him a lot more than either of you cared to voice. Jin was a reassuring bright light in your life that filled the holes in your chest, almost all of them. The ghost, you have come to affectionately call it, continued comforting you in a way Jin could not. There was a unique sensation those invisible hands gave you and you wouldn’t trade it for anything right now.

Jin gave you a pointed look “I am not taking a ‘no’ for an answer. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day and you need some vitamin D– you look like a ghost.” He raised an eyebrow, daring you to argue with him. Rolling your eyes in response, you got off of the chair, not in the mood to argue because you knew he was right. Secretly, you liked being dragged out by him, you needed that little extra motivation.

“Lemme just get changed. Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise,” Jin smirked, “Just wear something casual, and don’t worry about it.”

You grimaced. You hated surprises and uncertainty; if you could have one superpower it would be to predict the future. Jin caved a little, seeing the look on your face, “I promise you it will be a good day. Trust me.”

A kindhearted smile replaced his mischievous one, it made you trust him. He knows how much you had grieved the past couple of weeks, he would not take you anywhere that would trigger any upsetting memories.

At least that’s what you thought.

Swarms of excited children followed by tired parents, groups of teenage friends, and young couples crowded the entrance of the city’s annual Summer’s Eve fair. Eyes locked onto the giant banner, which had not changed since the first year this festival ran, making you shiver. Was it really a good idea; spending the day at the same place you and Tae had your first kiss, the same place where you and Tae celebrated your second anniversary? Did Jin not know?

“I– I don’t know about this Jin. Can we go somewhere else?” your voice wavered. You wanted to be strong but this was a line you were not sure you were ready to cross.

Jin did not want to take you anywhere else. While it may have been cruel to bring you here, right after the anniversary of Taehyung's death, he wanted to elicit a reaction out of you. Either you would break down and release needed emotions, or you would remember all the memories of him and see it's okay to enjoy life again. It didn't matter to him what reaction you would have. The fair had been one of your all-time favorite events of the year and Jin thought it could bring some of your old life back.

"It's okay y/n," Jin comforted you, giving your shoulder a quick squeeze, "We don't have to stay if you really don't want to but I think it could be..." He looked up to the sky as he searched for the right word, "...therapeutic?"

You stared at him with large eyes, the thought of bolting was tempting but the hopeful and encouraging smile on Jin’s face had you second-guessing. Jin cared for you; he has been your lifeline for the past couple of months, he would not have put you in this situation if he thought coming to the fair was not beneficial for you.

Jin understood you more than you could ever know and he had been the best thing in your life since Tae. You needed to trust him. You wanted to trust him.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath to ready yourself. "Okay," you exhaled, "Let's go then." Jin beamed at you and you returned a hesitant one. You trusted him, deep down you felt safe with him.

"Alright then, games and rides are on me. What do you want to do first?"

You gazed around through the crowds of people until you spotted a familiar game. A small but enthusiastic smile grew on your face, you turned and grabbed Jin's hand, "Let's go to that one first."

"Balloon darts it is, come on." Jin pulled you towards the station with your hand in his, slowly intertwining both of your fingers together. "I cannot wait to beat you."

"Please, you're the one that's going to be a sore loser, not me."

"I can't believe you actually beat me? Again!"

Jin turned to you with an exasperated expression, a water gun still in hand, and a balloon unsuccessfully popped. "How are you so good at all these games? It is unfair."

You twirled the water gun in your hand, blowing at the nozzle as if smoke was coming out, “I am just that good. I’ve got that eagle eye.” You dramatically squinted one eye to further your point.

Jin chuckled at your antics, walking alongside you with his arm resting on your shoulders. “Come on Buffalo Bill, let’s go on some rides.”

“Alright, alright,” you gazed around the fair, dodging oblivious kids and frantic parents following after them.

“I want to go on that ride.”

“Oh my god. I thought that I was going to die,” Jin huffed, holding onto your shoulders as he steadied himself. “I am never doing that again.”

You giggled at his declaration. “You were the one that suggested that ride,” you shrugged, “It’s not my fault you couldn’t handle it.” A sly grin plastered on your face seeing his exasperated one.

“I did not suggest this one— YOU dragged me onto it.” Jin’s eyes were wide open, not believing your words.

“I don’t know I think you could have stopped me if you were really that afraid.”

Jin rolled his eyes and gathered himself to take one more deep breath, “Okay y/n,” Jin grabbed your hand, “It’s my turn to pick the next ride.” His eyes set on the Ferris wheel at the back of the fair, unnoticed by you. You fell in step with him, a small genuine smile resting on your face. It has been so long since you felt this at peace. It surprised you that even at the place you cherished most with Taehyung, Jin was able to fill your heart with some happiness. Even as you thought of Taehyung throughout the day, all the thoughts were fond and nostalgic. It was a bittersweet feeling but you were not sad or mourning at the moment.

“Hey y/n? Y/N!” You shook your head, focusing on the large hand waving in front of you. “Huh? Sorry?”

Jin’s concerned face stopped in front of you, “Are you okay?”

Your eyes met his, a content smile on your face, “I actually haven’t been this at ease in a long time. Thank you, Jin.” 

The corner of his mouth pulled as he squeezed your hand, “You’re welcome.”

The two of you stood there, in the middle of the walkway, as people rushed by you. It didn’t matter that someone knocked into your shoulder, grumbling at you to move out of the way. The only thing you cared about right now was how the colorful lights of the surrounding rides and booths reflected into his eyes. It was beautiful and mesmerizing.

Jin was staring at you with equal intensity, lost in the way your eyes crinkled on the ends at you smiled at him. He could not remember the last time he saw that smile and it made him adore you more than he already did.

The two of you could have stayed in your little bubble all night if an especially rude teenager shoved you out of his way. You stumbled into Jin, breaking eye contact with him and with it the spell that you were trapped under.

“Uh– I– Sorry,” you rush out, stepping away from him and releasing his hand. 

Jin cleared his throat, “No, it’s– uhm– all good. Don’t worry about it.” He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck. He hoped you didn’t notice the extreme blush he knew he was sporting on his neck and ears. The first awkward silence that night fell between you.

“Anyway…” you tried to break the silence, “What do you want to do now?”

An uncharacteristic nervous smile appeared on Jin’s face, “I know it’s cliché or whatever but how about the Ferris wheel? We don’t have much time left before the fair shuts down for the night. Plus, I think the view of the city must be really pretty at night.” 

Without much of a second of hesitation, you were grabbing Jin’s hand again and dragging him towards the Ferris wheel. It made you nervous, like when you first realized you were at the fair, but you wanted desperately to push past it. You were here with Jin, not Taehyung. It didn’t matter if the Ferris wheel is where you and Tae shared your first kiss at the top like you were in a romantic comedy. Jin was here, not Taehyung.

The two of you remained silent; while waiting in line, while handing your tickets to the attendant, while sitting in the carriage, so close that your shoulders and knees knocked together. It was completely silent between the two of you until you reached the top. Your eyes widened as you took in the beautiful cityscape around you. The twinkling blurry lights of the surrounding buildings reminded you of the stars you longed to see in the sky. It had been hard to see the stars bright enough in the night since moving to the city and you missed them.

“Wow,” you pressed your face against the glass, “You were really not kidding were you, Jin? This is amazing. I can’t believe I haven’t seen the city like this before,” you gushed.

Jin watched as your smile lit up, his heart warmed at the sight of you so happy.

“Hey y/n? I am really proud of you.”

The softness of Jin’s voice pulled you away from the window to look back at him. Your heart clenched at the adoration you saw in his expression. You turned fully back towards him, taking his hands in your lap, silently urging him to continue. “I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. You have been through so much in the past year or so, and here you are—” he tightened his hands around yours, “getting all happy at the sight of city lights like your heart isn’t weighed down anymore. I know you’re nowhere close to being totally okay if you’ll ever be totally okay, but seeing you right now, happy, makes me so proud of you.”

You watched as Jin’s eyes glistened at his confession. Trailing your gaze back to your conjoined hands, you laced your fingers together. “Well…that’s because of you, Jin.” You brought your eyes back to his, your own tears threatening to spill. “You have helped me so much. Without you, I’d probably still be wasting away in my apartment, eating enough to barely survive.”

You hiccupped, smiling through the few tears that did escape, “You brought the life back into me. I’ll never be able to repay you. I am so grateful you are my friend.”

The two of you were so caught in your own emotions that you didn’t even notice how close you two had gotten; your thighs pressed against his, shoulders grazing each other, his warm breath fanning over your face. For the second time that night, you stared into his eyes, mesmerized by the reflecting lights in them. Before you realize it, Jin starts to lean in and so do you.

Your eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the feel of Jin’s lips on yours when what you felt was like two bricks of ice on your shoulders yanked you back.

You leaned back on your hands, eyes wide as you looked at Jin, who was staring back at you like he couldn’t believe what almost happened. You tried to control your breathing as you asked yourself: What was that?

“I– I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean—” Jin cut himself off, tearing his gaze away from you, “I’m sorry.”

The ride lurched forward, propelling the carriage down, ending your time on the ride with Jin. He mumbled how he was sorry again, offering to take you back home right now. You nodded, not knowing what else you could say at that moment. You were still reeling, trying to figure out if you were crazy or not. It definitely felt as if someone grabbed you but obviously no one else was there? Right?

The two of you headed towards the exit, the crowds already thinning because of how late it was. You trailed behind Jin, not daring to fall in step next to him like earlier in the day. The car ride back was bathed in awkward silence. It had never been this uncomfortable being with Jin, even when he first came back into your life. The only words leaving his mouth was a whisper of goodnight as he left you at the front door of your apartment.

You wished you said something, anything that would bring back the ease you felt with him but you didn’t have the words. You were unable to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault because you didn’t know whose fault it was. Your mind was racing; was it the same thing as the cold breeze you always felt? It felt much more intense than you ever remember it feeling.

All you knew is that as you sat on your kitchen floor, the same position as you cried yourself asleep not too long ago, longing for someone other than Taehyung, wishing the night had ended differently.

~

Taehyung's glare could kill as he watched Jin drop you off at the apartment. Jin had blatantly flirted with you the entire day, at the same place he had done years prior. That was the final straw for him.

When he saw you two on the Ferris wheel, in his spot, leaning towards each other for a kiss, something in him broke. He lunged for you, desperate to stop the kiss before it even happened. He wasn’t thinking straight, he just needed for Jin to get away from you.

The plan worked, if you could even call it a plan, and your little date with Jin came to a crashing end. Taehyung thought it was a success but seeing you sitting there on the ground confused got him thinking again. You knew a comforting presence surrounded you, that much he could tell when you would relax under his touch, but why haven't you connected the dots that it was him? It had been over a year and the desperation he felt months prior was heating up to a boiling point.

He had hugged you, caressed and kissed your face, supported your whole body weight even. He had to do something more. Energy thrummed through his body more so than ever before in all the attempts to get you to recognize him. He felt it in his bones that it would be different tonight.

His eyes snapped to you, hearing you sigh. You willed yourself up, resigning to try and sleep today off, and talk to Jin about everything tomorrow. He deserved to know that the night ended in ruin was not his fault. You were slowly dragging your feet across the floor, heading towards the bathroom, when you felt it. A cool breeze against your neck.

You froze in your spot. Fervent cold kisses pressed against your exposed shoulder, causing you to shudder. There was the phantom touch again, it was comforting like always. It was as if it knew when you needed it. However, this time was different. Accompanying the cold pecks was a buzz of electricity, nothing that shocks you but something that lightly warms you up. You close your eyes, reveling in the touch.

Like similar times before this, you try to remember where the familiar feeling came from. The sensations on your neck slowly became less and less abstract as they start feeling more than just cold spots. The touch formed into something you knew, lips.

You gasp, eyes flying open. Your heartbeat raced as you stared through the open bathroom door at the mirror on the wall. Taehyung.

You couldn’t blink, you couldn’t move a muscle worried that he would disappear at the twitch of a finger. Taehyung, clear as day, was in the mirror attacking your neck with his lips. You shuddered and let out a quiet moan, Tae.

Taehyung immediately stopped, hearing his name. He looked up and your eyes met, the first time you saw his eyes alive since the accident. It seemed as if time stopped as you two stared at each other in the mirror. Your eyes held disbelief while he willed every single emotion he’s had since his death to shine in his gaze. He wanted you to know everything he was feeling because he doubted that he would be able to convey those emotions in words.

Your astonished façade broke, “Taehyung?” you cried out.

He immediately turned you around in his arms and slammed his lips onto yours. Your eyes had screwed shut before turning around in fear he wouldn’t be standing there with you like how you saw in the mirror. The feeling of his hands encasing your wrists felt as real as his lips as they molded against yours. The feeling was euphoric. The crackling of embers burned in the pit of your stomach and the fire grew throughout your body until the cold feeling of his lips was replaced by familiar warmth.

You could not believe this was happening. There was no way this was a dream. It– He felt too real for it to be a dream. All you could do was kiss him back with as much passion as you could muster because you wanted him to know that you still loved him, with everything you had.

The kiss was sloppy as both of you were just desperate to get enough of each other before it was too late. Taehyung let go of your wrists to rest them on the sides of your face, pulling you closer to him. Your hands move to his neck, frantic to touch him as much as you could because he was real, in front of you right now.

The initial spark, the buzz Taehyung felt earlier started to wane. He furrowed his eyebrows, he needs more time. He knew he didn’t have much time left like this, his energy was running low. With great force, he pulled away from your mouth, only to pepper kisses all over your face willing you to remember what they felt like. His body trembled as he pressed one final kiss your forehead and your lips.

And just like that, he vanished, the fire in your body out, like he was blown away with the wind. Your eyes focused straight ahead of you, willing to see him standing in front of you again. Slowly, your fingers grazed your lips. Taehyung. This whole time it was Taehyung. How could you not realize that it was him?

The comfort, the warmth of a fire during a blizzard, the bricks of ice at the fair. It all made sense. It was Taehyung. He didn’t leave you. He never left you.

With that admission hanging in the air, you finally broke down, not with tears of sorrow but tears of joy. He still loved you, you could feel it now, with every caress and every kiss. Relief and excitement ran through your veins as you stood there crying. This could change everything.

Taehyung followed your form as you collapsed onto the bed from exhaustion, not before whispering goodnight to him. He did it. He finally did it. You understood that he never left you, that he still supported and loved you. He should be ecstatic but the smile he wore didn’t reach his eyes.

He didn’t understand. He finally accomplished the goal he had been working towards for a whole year. Something didn’t settle with him and he couldn’t figure it out as he gazed at you in deep sleep. He tried to shake it off and ignore it for now. All he wanted to right now was to lay beside you and bask in your presence because even though you had a nagging feeling in the back of his head he had accomplished his goal. You knew he was around and still loved you, and that was enough for now. 

~

“I am telling you Jin– Taehyung kissed me. I know it was him. I can’t believe I didn’t realize the entire time the ghost was him. How could I have been so dense? But all I know is that Taehyung touched me, kissed me.”

Jin’s eyes widened at the sound of his best friend’s name as the two of you sat silently on a park bench. You had repeatedly called and messaged him, asking to meet up. Now he knew your excitement was about him, it was always about him. Even after over a year, he was still at the forefront of your mind. How was he supposed to compete with someone dead? Would you ever move on? Would you ever think of something more? He thought the day at the fair meant something more to you than just a friendly day out. He wanted it to mean more to you. Was the almost-kiss nothing?

Still, as you gushed over your late fiancé, he couldn’t help the somber smile that settled onto his face. You were smiling and giggling, recounting all the times Taehyung’s ghostly presence comforted you and held you. Your smile was all he really desired. So, he sat back and listened, enjoying the bright light in your eyes as you spoke about the ghost who has haunted you since his death.

“You have to–“

“I believe you,” Jin cut you off, “I haven’t seen you this excited since the day of your engagement.” His smile fell. “What are you going to do about it though? It’s not like Taehyung can actually be here for you in all the ways you need it.”

Taehyung never was the type to resort to violence but the moment your excited rambling ceased at Jin’s words he wanted to punch the shit out of him. He couldn’t follow through with it even if he actually could touch you, because Jin was right.

He wouldn’t be there for you. He wouldn’t be there to whisper sweet nothings into your ear when life got rough. He wouldn’t be there to tell you how proud he was of you when you received a promotion. He was just a ghost. A being that didn’t exist in the physical world. He loved you so much. So much so he forgot the chasm that separated the two of you.

Taehyung foolishly believed that his love could conquer death. How could it? Love stronger than death existed but not in the way in fairytales where he could be magically brought back to life with a spell or a kiss from his true love. There was nothing, no magic spell, no higher power to pray to, that would bring him back, back into your arms.

Taehyung realized at that moment he had to let you go.

It should not have been hard. He died but something kept him here. He always thought it was his love for you that kept him on Earth but maybe, maybe his purpose was to help you move on, not bring back memories and feelings you would never feel again with him.

He needed to let go of the only warmth left in his soul…for you.

Despite you and Jin sitting on a park bench, in a crowded park, in the middle of the city, it was silent. Your mind zeroing in on the words that had just come out of your friend’s mouth. Jin’s question wasn’t unreasonable, all it did was bring reality crashing back into your head. Tae was a ghost, spirit, or whatever energy he manifested. He was no longer alive, no longer a human being walking on the same physical plane as you. No matter how much love there was to try and cheat it.

You gazed into Jin’s eyes. You felt all the concern, all the worry he hid for your sake. “Jin– I–“ You huffed frustrated, casting your eyes downwards to the hands in your lap, “You’re right, you’re right. Even if it was really him there’s no point to hope. What is there to hope for anyway? He’s not going to materialize in front of me if I miss him enough.”

Your hands shot up to cover your face as you tried to hold in a sob. You missed Taehyung so much.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t say that to make you upset. I’m sorry,” Jin gently pried your hands away from your face, holding onto them, and gazed into your teary eyes, “It’s an amazing thing you know? Knowing that there is something after death and he is watching over you.” Jin brought a calloused hand towards your face, brushing away the tears that escaped.

“There is nothing wrong in still loving him, still continuing to love him. He’ll always occupy a part of your heart even as you learn to move on. It’s okay.”

Jin was so close. You could see the glisten of sweat on the bridge of his nose and the bow of his lips from the hot day, the slight furrow of his eyebrows, the flush of his cheeks, the reflection of your eyes in his.

Your heart ached, staring at him. So many familiar emotions bubbled up to the surface. Jin was there when you literally couldn’t leave the bed. Jin was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, the only one you let see your tears since Taehyung died. Jin was there when you laughed for the first time since the accident, caused by one of his infamous dad jokes. Jin was there the first time you felt Taehyung, the coldest warmth. Jin had been there for you and he was still here listening to you cry about a boy that had been gone for almost two years now. Still here even after you rejected his advance earlier at the fair.

Your eyes flickered to his lips, then back to his eyes, and all at once you realized Jin loved you the same way Taehyung did, in all your grieving mess, he loved you. You cared for Jin too, it wasn’t as strong as love, at least not yet. You wanted to show Jin how much you cared for him.

That’s when you felt it. A cold hand guiding your lips toward his.

The kiss was chaste and quick, you afraid of crossing a line. Shyly looking up at Jin through your eyelashes, you waited for a sign, anything that said he wanted this right now. Jin’s eyes were wide, mouth slightly ajar not believing that you were the one to kiss him first.

“It’s okay,” you whispered against his lips, “I want this.”

“But– you just– you,” Jin stuttered out. He couldn’t believe that this was the same person just 10 minutes ago raving about a phantom kiss from their dead partner.

“I know,” you murmured, face still close to his as your hands rose to rest at the nape of his neck, “I know but it’s you who I want right now.” His eyes locked with yours, the intensity raising the already pounding beat of your heart. You hoped you could convey how sincere you were. It wasn’t love yet but you had intense feelings for Jin, and with Taehyung’s blessing, you wanted Jin’s lips on yours.

“Please…” you sigh, softly brushing your nose against his, desperate to close the small distances between your mouths.

That seemed to be the final push he needed before Jin connected to his lips to yours. Your eyes fluttered shut. The feeling was electric, the buzz spreading from where you two connected filling you up all the way to your toes. Jin reached up; one hand cupping your face, thumb caressing your cheekbone, the other resting on the side of your neck. You pulled him closer to you, deepening the kiss.

Jin’s soft pillowy lips worked hard against yours. The kiss was sweet and careful as if Jin was afraid he was just dreaming and you would run away at any second. Your hands traveled to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there. The buzz settled and left an intense warm feeling, different from what you felt with Taehyung. It was as if you were swimming in the heat of the sun, while Taehyung’s felt like a comforting fire amid winter.

You couldn’t help the bright smile creep on your face as you kissed Jin back with even more need, hoping he could feel your happiness through your actions. Jin matched your smile, teeth clashing for a moment, relieved that this wasn’t a mistake or a dream.

The two of you broke apart, panting heavily as you caught your breath.

You let your forehead drop against his, closing your eyes. The emotions dancing around in your chest were overwhelming. So many thoughts ran through your head but the one prevailing emotion, that outshined the rest, was euphoria. Nothing could compare to Jin’s kiss except for the familiar elation that you felt when you had your first kiss with Taehyung but that didn’t matter anymore. This was the last time you were going to compare Jin and Taehyung together, the only two men that have captured your heart.

You would sort out your emotions more clearly later, all you wanted right now was to focus on the fast but comforting tempo of Jin’s heartbeat as you cuddled into his chest.

~

It took almost a full year after your first kiss with Jin to make things official. You still had a lot of healing to do and he was ever so patient with you. That fateful kiss helped you realize Jin could be the new happiness, the new light in your life. You had to thank Taehyung for that.

Without his blessing, you were sure you would have never moved on. It brought a bittersweet smile to your face every time you thought about him but as Jin said about a year ago there is nothing wrong in still loving him. You still loved Taehyung, you always would. He owned a part of your heart forever. Loving Jin allowed you to grow, to blossom into something different but still you.

“Babe? Are you almost done in there? We have to leave in the next ten minutes if we don’t want to be late.”

You looked back at Jin through the mirror you faced as you got ready. Tonight was date night and the two of you were traveling outside the city to a drive-in movie theater, where you hoped to see stars in the night sky. You were ecstatic. “Just give me another minute, I am almost done,” you beamed, drying the last section of wet hair, “I refuse to get a cold.”

Jin chuckled, turning away and heading back to the kitchen. You finished drying your hair and stopped to study your reflection in the steamy mirror. The dark circles you thought would be a permanent feature on your face had disappeared, the color in your cheeks was back to their naturally rosy state, the smile on your face was genuine. You looked happy.

Taking a deep breath you turned to head out with Jin when something in the mirror caught your eye. In the still steamy mirror, in the bottom corner, a small shape was drawn. A heart.

You teared up, glancing around the empty bathroom, “I love you too,” you whispered. With one last sweet smile, you finally turned and left the bathroom, calling after Jin.

Taehyung watched from the bathroom as you and Jin wrapped your arms around each other, heading out with soft smiles. A bittersweet feeling ached in his chest. He fulfilled his purpose, his goal ever since you recognized his touch for the first time two and a half years ago. The bright smile was on your face and you were happy. You still loved him and he still loved you, and you knew it still after he couldn’t form the words to say it.

All Taehyung had to do was to wait for the sweet oblivion to take him as you moved on from him. He was ready; happy that you would always love him and remember him. He was ready to fade away, content to live in your loving memory.

~please give me that sweet good feedback, i’d really appreciate it~

[poeticandors]

Come What May Part 1

Poe Dameron x F!Reader (Moulin Rouge!AUishhhh?)

Summary: You and Poe are sent undercover in a night club in order to gain information about the First Order and hope to recruit. But what begins to bloom as you and Poe continue to work closer throughout this mission? And, what happens when you happen to catch the eye of one of the most dangerous men?

Warnings this chapter: None really  

A/N: Here I am, with another fic that no one asked for. This is pretty much a Moulin Rouge type au so we’ll go with that from now on.

I do not own GIF!

“This outfit is horrible.”

“It doesn’t look that bad.”

“Speak for yourself, you basically get to wear regular clothes,” you snap at Poe. “I have to wear these damn dresses and… well these other outfits.” 

Poe watches as you twirl unintentionally in the dress you were wearing. He can tell just how uncomfortable you are in it— you’re used to wearing the standard clothes given to you by the Resistance, he’s sure. 

Still, he can’t help but admire the dress. The light blue flows down to your feet like a waterfall on Naboo. The intricate design was… well, beautiful really— the silver stitching along with divine crystals sewn into the dress that reflect any light shining on it.

No one would be able to keep their eyes off of you.

“We have to blend in,” Poe says, simply. “These various outfits will ensure that.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be undercover? Won’t I just… stick out?” 

You were anxious. Poe could see it in your body movements. The way you keep pinching the dress and how you shifted in the heels that were taller than you’re used to. 

This was your first mission with Poe. Your first mission ever. Poe understood why you were nervous, but you had skills that matched even those of the best— though few—Intelligence officers.

That’s why this mission was so important. Not only were you both sent to gain any information you could about the First Order— many of the officers frequented this red-light district and were now your main targets— you were also sent to try and recruit anyone that was deemed fit or were just simply tired of the First Order’s control. The Resistance couldn’t be picky, they needed everyone they could get.

And it made sense why you were paired up with Poe for this mission. Everyone else had their own duties, you were newly recruited and had the skill set necessary, and Poe was experienced. When Leia came up to you, you were apprehensive at first. Why would she ask you— a newly recruited officer— to join one of the most prominent members of the Resistance on a mission like this? 

Poe was kind, he had done well to make sure you were okay with everything that was happening. He made sure you were well briefed on what was going on and the type of place you would be at. He treated you as if he’d known you longer than you really had, even joking here and there while at the same time keeping a tough demeanor and treating you like any other soldier. He made sure to let you know he would be by your side throughout this whole ordeal.

Sighing distressed, you turn to Poe. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can.”

“But—“

“We’ll be fine,” Poe steps up to you. “The General wouldn’t have partnered us together if she didn’t think we could do this, Y/N.” 

Your gaze falls, and Poe places his hand on your shoulder, careful not to touch any visible skin not covered from your dress. The contact still makes you shiver.

“You know I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Even if I’m not physically there with you, I’ll be close by watching and making sure nothing happens to you, okay?” 

Looking back up at him, you nod. “...Okay.” 

“This is for the Resistance. Remember that.” 

“For the Resistance.” 

He removes his hand and takes a step back. “Alright, let’s go over this one more time. Tell me who you are.” 

“I’m Kyla Tille, been bounced from planet to planet. The last place I was at, they called me the... Sparkling Kyber and the Untouched One.”

Titles like that were good. While the location was given the name of a simple night spot or cabaret, courtesans were the prime entertainment. You would be now employed as the star courtesan, but your titles insured that no one would be able to touch you unless they gave the highest price. It made sure to keep you safe from others whose prying eyes were on you. All you had to do was keep guests flowing in— flashing smiles and even flirting here and there. Nothing more.

“Perfect. And I’m Tel Dara, the handsome man who has been assigned to guard you since our most recent home,” he grins. 

This pulls a laugh from you, and Poe can see your shoulders are now relaxed. 

“Just remember, don’t give them any reason not to be suspicious,” he says, more seriously. “‘Make sure you really trust someone before trying to send them my way.” 

“Got it.”

“We’ll get through this.”

++++++

The club was still somewhat filled with guests even during the day. A few humanoids and various other species huddled at the front and along the hall as you and Poe walked inside. The main room was dimly lit, and you could smell the smoke lingering in the air. Women in scandalous outfits were scattered around, flirting their way with those sat at the bar or booths, while server droids roamed the area from the bar, serving drinks around and gathering empty glasses. The music playing was soft, almost calming even for a hot spot club. 

But you knew that wouldn’t be the same case at night. 

Everyone glanced at you as you walked by, observing and scanning every inch of you. Your stomach churned, and you felt as if your chest was tightening— from panic or the tightness from the dress laced up on you, you didn’t know. All you wanted to do was hide away where no one could see you. But you made sure to hold your chin up high and take long, slow strides as you both made your way to the main office.

Poe knocks on the door, and you take in his appearance as you both wait. His hair was more tame, combed and slicked back, and he was dressed in a dark suit. He bore a more hardened look, and definitely did not look like the jaunty pilot you’ve come to know. 

The door opens and you glance up, seeing a man grinning down.

“There you are! Welcome, welcome,” he waves you both in. “Well, come in. We’ve been expecting you both.”

Poe places his hand on your back, gently guiding you in as you walk forward. The office was fairly big, a black metal desk with silver lining, shelves along the wall that had really… odd trinkets. Posters promoting the club with bright letters and pictures of all the girls were hung around the room as well— Come to the Crimson Club! Have all your dreams and desires come alive here! Drinks, music, and entertainment all night, every night!

It was definitely not a place you would have gone by choice. 

“Please, sit down.” 

Poe pulls the chair out for you, and you sit cross-legged as Poe stands right behind you. The man smooths his hair down, sitting opposite of you as he looks between you both.

“Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Dorstar—“

“Oh, please don’t with the formalities,” he chortles. “Call me Boz.”

Poe nods. “Boz…” 

“Thank you, Boz,” you flash a dazzling smile. “I‘ll try not to disappoint you.”

“I doubt that will happen,” Boz’s eyes scan you, nodding in approval. “Gorgeous. So, it seems the stories I was given from your reference were right. A Sparkling Kyber. Isn’t that right, Kyla?”

Your gaze falls to the floor, feigning bashfulness.

“She definitely is just that,” Poe—Tel— walks next to you, and slips his fingers under your chin, lifting your view back up. “Fellas couldn’t get enough of her.”

Poe’s fingers graze your chin as he pulls them away, and you breathe out softly. Boz grins, pulling out his holopad. 

“Well, we all know what her ‘job’ here at the Crimson Club will be. Eye candy, another piece of entertainment. But you, my little kyber, will not be like the other girls.” 

“Meaning?” 

“Keep the customers interested, flirt a little, have a drink with them. Maybe get a little handsy if needed before moving them along to one of my other girls.” 

He leans back in his chair, turning to Poe. “And your job, Tel, is to stay close, but not too close. Only the one making the desired, highest payment will be allowed time here with our Untouched One. Make sure that no one does anything to harm our prized possession here.  Just like you did at your previous club.”

Possession. 

Nails digging into your fists, you try to keep a level head. This whole thing was disgusting, how could you have agreed to this? 

Exhaling slowly through your nose, you tried to calm yourself as to not show any hint of discomfort. This would be over soon, you had to remind yourself. 

It was for the Resistance, for the safety of your friends and newfound family.

“Let me remind you, Boz, that Kyla here is not an object.” 

The tone of Poe’s voice catches your attention. You’ve never heard him talk with that kind of spite before. Looking up at him, you see his jaw tighten as he stares down Boz. 

“Just make sure no one lays a hand on that pretty little head of hers. The previous escort failed to do that and, well, why do you think you’re both here now?” 

You both stay silent, as Boz stands up and claps his hands. “Now, I think we are all in agreement? Let’s show you to your new living stations.” 

Poe holds his hand out, and you place yours in his as you stand up, following Boz out of the office. The three of you make your way down the hallway to an elevator. You were told in the brief that there were no cameras up on the top floor. This was beneficial to both you and Poe, as you would be able to confer with each other about the events happening in the club. 

As the elevator makes its way up to the top floor, you feel Poe’s hand graze against yours— assuring you that you were almost in a safe space. 

This helps you relax a little, and you straighten as the doors slide open.

“This way,” Boz motions down the hallway. “Your room is what we call the Crimson Room. Only you, Tel, and myself are allowed here is that understood?”

“Yes, Boz.”

“And eventually when the lucky one who pays the desired amount of credits, they’ll be allowed up here too,” Boz flashes a smug grin before scanning his key card. 

The doors open with a whoosh and you step inside as you observe the room. It was a fairly large room; walls painted red, a large window with a view to the outside, and a ridiculously huge bed in the center. There was a dresser for you to place your belongings, as well as loveseat along the opposite wall. The small table for you to have your meals was there as well, already placed with bowls of various fruits as well as multiple champagnes, wines, and other liquor if wanted.

It was definitely the biggest room you’ve ever had. 

“Is this to your liking, dear?” Boz asks, watching as you walk towards the window. 

Staring outside, a small ache fills your chest as you realize you’ll be stuck here for an unknown amount of time. You see all of the people walking along the sidewalks, free to walk where they desired. Meanwhile, all you can do for the meantime is live through them every time you glance out the window.

“Kyla?” Poe’s voice pulls you from the window, and you give Boz a small smile.

“Yes, this is magnificent. Thank you.” 

Boz seems pleased with the answer, and smooths his dress shirt down. “Then I’ll let you get settled for tonight. The opening number will pay homage to you, and all you’ll have to do is walk out along the stage so everyone gets the pleasure to see you.”

“Thank you, Boz,” Poe walks him to the door, walking him out. 

Boz stops just before and turns to you, a devilish grin on his face. “Oh, and I’ll have the perfect dress sent up to you, my little kyber.”

He walks out, the doors closing behind him as Poe turns to you. He watches you exhale shakily, before moving to sit on the bed. 

“Good work,” Poe loosens his collar. “He seems to really like you.”

“Wonderful,” you scoff, pulling your heels off to rub your feet.

“Listen…” Poe walks over to you. “I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but if we keep two steps ahead, we can get through this quickly. As long as we’re in this together, okay?” 

You don’t respond, but Poe doesn't push. “I’m going to get our stuff, will you be okay alone?” 

“Yes,” you answer softly, glancing up at Poe.

He watches you for a moment, not quite believing you but nods anyways. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

You watch him leave, and when he is finally gone you fall back against the mattress. Eyes on the ceiling, you grab onto a pillow and hug it close, wishing you were back at the base in your small cot instead.

[shimmershae]

Remember all the ship imagery we got in the early episodes of this season?  Carol literally sailing toward Daryl in a boat, the ships all over her bedding, the helm in the background as Daryl takes her dinner and a flower, and Daryl’s comments about poking holes in any boats she might use to leave him again?  Well.  It just occurred to me, when Carol had her emotional breakthrough and decided to fight and stick around and work toward putting her demons to rest, i.e. go home to Daryl, it was after a boat literally fell on top of her.  And maybe it was an odd little coincidence, but somehow I don’t think so.

I mean.  The first instance, with Carol literally sailing toward a waiting Daryl was lightly tossed about as our ship finally, well, setting sail.  I know I had a lot of fun with the idea personally.  But shining a different light on it, I think Carol ‘coming home’ to Daryl was twofold.  One, she was literally coming home, albeit somewhat reluctantly because she still hadn’t figured out a way to reconcile her feelings on Henry’s death and all the traumas it pushed to the surface nor all of the emotions being back in the circle of those who know her best kept ever present.  And two, it showed that Daryl is not only her person or place of stability, but that he perhaps has already reached the point where he knows exactly what he wants and that’s Carol herself.  I mean, he’s literally right there, ready and wanting to be her port in the storm.  

Yeah, I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well.  I’m sure someone else can piggyback on this and do a much better job, but I’m going to keep spit balling okay?  Okay.  

The boats on Carol’s bedding were a nice little touch, don’t you think?  Especially since Carol’s been shown to dream about Daryl in that bed.  Not in exactly the way that some of us might want her to, lol, at least not onscreen because our girl did say to Michonne that her dreams were good and that’s why they hurt so very much--why oh why they cut that scene from the aired episode I’ll never understand, unless they wanted to play close to the vest with their hand for a little bit longer (unneeded IMHO since those that don’t want to see are not going to see what’s staring them right in the face until it bites their noses off, but I digress) but still.  It’s been shown and suggested she dreams about Daryl when she sleeps in that bed.  Basically, she only allows herself to semi-admit what she most wants in her dreams, and I don’t remember if we see that bedding again later or not but I did find it kind of weird at the time that she was sleeping on top of the covers.  It’s almost like she doesn’t want to embrace (cover up) the comfort that her subconscious offers her, huh?  Psst.  Daryl.  Or, you know, literally stop running and relax enough to truly let her mind and emotions settle.  

I’m digging a little deep aren’t I?  Oops.  Sorry if I sound semi-delusional.  I am somewhat sleep deprived.  But truly.  My brain cannot accept that all of this is mere coincidence so the hamster wheel is trying to theorize and this is what you get.  Sorry not sorry, lol.  

So where was I?  

So basically Daryl’s had his epiphany.  The years Carol spent by another man’s side weren’t something he reacted to with the usual or stereotypical signs of jealousy because he’s Daryl.  He wants the best for those he loves even at his own expense, but there was some deep-seated stuff there he maybe didn’t recognize right away or likely, as with Carol, didn’t want to immediately confront.   

Sigh.  These two and their shitty self-esteems.  Whatever are we going to do with them?  

Putting the rest behind a cut because this is about to get even longer.  Read at your own risk.  ;)

Shit may not be settled, but Daryl’s more settled and mature than he’s ever been and he knows what he wants:  Carol.  So he’s there waiting on Carol’s boat to sail in.  He’s right there.  Waiting on Carol to have the same epiphany or reach the same conclusion or not, whatever may come, because Dude loves her.  He might not have put words to it, but he’s shown her and us in so very many ways.  Carol might have come to him on the boat, but make no mistake.  At this point in time?  Our man is the captain of this ship.  He’s standing at the helm.  Get it?  The helm in the background?  Er, I’ll shut up before I make myself sound even nuttier, lol.  

Let’s talk a little bit more about Carol, shall we?  

So Carol.  She knows what or who she wants too.  She just hasn’t dared to voice it.  Even in those woods, when her subconscious in the form of Alpha pressed her to admit the truth she wouldn’t say the words out loud.  It’s almost like her keeping those feelings secret is her way of protecting Daryl from the ‘monster’ she feels like she’s become.  

Oh sweet baby girl.  My heart aches so much for her.  She just has no idea.  Really and truly no idea.  

Listen.  Daryl was completely serious about poking holes in all them boats.  And call this a reach if you want to, but I think that little comment of his was twofold as well.  More on that a little later.  

Dude isn’t all that well-versed in matters of the heart, especially with somebody that means so very much to him.  So understandably, he’s not going to automatically get everything right.  And let’s be real here.  He’s still so much more of a show than tell kind of guy so that’s what he’s been doing.  Showing Carol how much he cares.  Demonstrating his love by being there for her, by having her back, and by calling her on her bullshit (but only after she’s taken up all the slack and put them both and their communities in an arguably untenable position). He wants her to stay and he’s done everything within his power to make her want to stay--except say those three little words.  

Which circles me back around to the two-fold part of the holes in the boat comment.  You know where I’m going with this don’t you?  Don’t you, lol?  There’s someone else Daryl hasn’t said those three little words to or about, even after Carol herself tried her best to put them in his mouth.  Our guy went so far as to tell our thick-headed Queen that it’s not like that, not at all, effectively poking the biggest of many holes in the most present ship.  I say present for lack of any better moniker.  Let’s just say that it’s the most threatening in Carol’s mind and subconscious because literally the only person acting like it’s a real thing is Carol.  Kelly’s little wink and nod isn’t something I’m going to take on gospel because let’s just say a thousand and one ships could be launched at a teasing sister’s behest and only one or two be manufactured out of more than popsicle sticks and imagination.  How many cute guys did your little sisters have you in love with when they simply offered you a smile or kind word?  I literally cannot keep track of how many would-be suitors my little sister would have had me have, lol.  The list is simply too long.  It’s one of the things little sisters are so very (obnoxiously) good at--spinning fantasy into a reality of their own making.  But yeah, I’m going off on another tangent.  In case you haven’t noticed, I’m very good at that.    

My point is this, hahaha.  Daryl’s not just willing to poke holes in all the literal boats to keep Carol with him.  The man has also, in his Daryl way, poked holes in the notion that he could feel something romantically for another woman.  Because it isn’t like that.  Not for the captain of this ship.  He knows what he wants whether he’s managed to use his words yet or not.  

Carol’s trickier because she’s not reached the same sort of zen Daryl has yet.  She’s still operating under the erroneous assumption that she’s not good enough for her Mr. Crossbow and has been doing her level-best to steer him toward what she considers his perfect match even though her subconscious has been baiting her to just fess up to her buried truth--that she wants and loves Daryl just as much as he wants and loves her.  

But you know what happened?  

A literal boat fell on top of our girl’s hard head and knocked some sense into her.  Honestly.  While the circumstances were actually heartbreaking--our baby girl’s emotions have been so fucked up for so long over something that couldn’t necessarily be helped in the world she’s been surviving in--I have to laugh now,putting it into this newfound perspective.  Kang literally bashed my baby over the head with her demons and the truth of her feelings.  Seriously.  She held all her so-called ‘failings’ up in her face and had her confront them before confronting her with her biggest fear.  That fear being, you guessed it, that she lose Daryl.  

You know what happened from that point.  

Deciding that she could never let that happen, Carol had her own epiphany--it’s never too late--and she decided to fight and she went home to Daryl.  Really went home to him and yeah, things are still up in the air because Angela Kang wanted to blue ball us just a wee bit more but I can’t be the only one hearing those drums break for their big solo in that old Phil Collins song, lol.  

I can almost taste canon on my tongue and hoo boy is it sweet.  A little bit spicy too.  

Damn the coronavirus.  Seriously.  Send that thing right back to hell.  

I don’t know about y’all but I need that finale yesterday.  

Anyhoo.  If you found your way to this last sentence after this mega stream of consciousness hooey, bless you.  If you feel inclined to add your own thoughts to my sleep-deprived thoughts, be my guest.  

Later, lovelies.  

Keep calm and Caryl the fuck on.  

[gloomverse-theories]

Something I’ve always been curious about regarding Gloomverse is: what was the deal with the dream versions of Wallis and Harold? The whole color change thing they had going on and why did Wallis have slight differences in his design from the Wallis in the non dream world? (For example, dream Wallis was wearing a tie while real Wallis was not.) Any thoughts or feelings on the matter? Personally I don’t trust dream Harold and especially not dream Wallis.

Mod Joe’s response:

Okay, strap yourselves in for a long one, because I have A Lot to say. I won’t talk about the clothing, this is mostly about Coloring and Rights... rights that were and are being broken.

TL;DR of my thoughts/feelings: The dream selves are supportive of Rylie and signal protection for their newfound family. They know a lot more than they should and seem to have even more in store. Even the links to Murder Hobo do not upset me because their general goals align, for the moment. Virga and Yellow are the greater threat...

Let’s talk about the Colors first. Colors change color when they get Magic. Why do I bring this up? Because we have this panel:

This moment is important because Harold addresses the Dark Overlord directly here. And from the sound of it, his hair and eyes changed to the black and red we know when he got his hat.

But wait. If he says her hair and eyes didn’t change, so it’s her real hat, then if eyes and hair do change, it’s The Wrong Hat.

But that shouldn’t be possible. As per the Right of Passage, you can only gain Magic through your own Hat, by taking out your wand from it. This is the first Right being broken here. Harold got Magic through a Hat that is not his own, a fact supported by us never seeing him with a Wand.

The giant lollipop does not count, as he only uses it to bash people with it. We never see him Manipulating anything, which you need a Wand for; he’s only ever seen Creating candy out of his “fake” Hat. But that’s another theory.

Important thing here is that he is breaking one of the fundamental Rights of Magic and changed color because of it.

We have another panel that we shouldn’t forget when discussing the dream selves: Wallis going berserk.

Not included in this picture is the levitating Seaweed hanging on to him, complaining that she cannot breathe in the next panel... which is violating another Right, that is the Right of Protection from magic. It states that Magic cannot be used directly on the body of a living being. Which he already violated once before (and after) by making limbs invisible.

This seems to indicate that this coloring (at least for them) is tied to Right Breaking. Something we should keep in mind...

Onto the dream itself now.

Sorry Harold, You didn’t have a good panel while standing upright.

Here, the colors are reversed. Wallis has the black hair and red eyes while Harold has his natural colors. Why? What rules could Wallis be breaking here? Well, he is in another person’s dream, which is having influence on their mind and by that breaking of the Right of Protection again. It could be that... but then Harold wouldn’t be breaking a law by being in the dream. Hm.

Wallis’ color scheme could also be tied to how he is MIA and color shifted at that point of the story, but then again, Harold also is. Another thing to note here is that Wallis is in full control of himself, not going mad with rage as he did against Cakegirl. Furthermore, not only are his clothes noticeably different from his magic show outfit, his limbs are still visible. This is most likely not directly the Wallis who disappeared during the magic show...

— Mod Green :  When Purple found Wallis in the crater, his hair was still reverting to its normal color so I’d guess he was indeed frozen in time or in stasis or something... —

Harold is a bit of an oddity as well. He has his natural colors, invisible limbs and candy canes, as well as the hat we’ve always seen him use.

We later see Rylie with both legs in her dreams, so having his limbs back shouldn’t be an issue; but she also only got multicolored hair when she remembered that’s how it currently looks like. It seems that the dream appearances are tied to one’s self perception.

So, could this just be how Harold sees himself. After all, he has had missing limbs for much longer than the other two, since childhood. Or maybe it’s a little off because it’s a sign of something greater. Why is he even there in the first place...?

Because, as for their intentions...

Dream Wallis is clearly being supportive of Rylie here but does extend a word of warning too. They even came specifically to wake her up early.

Which seems to indicate that these versions know more than their waking ones... but in the world they know, Rylie didn’t wake up after only two weeks? Hm! Perhaps Virga found her in Gloomverse then, or there is another timing issue we don’t know of that necessitates the change. Something seems to have happened that could be solved by her waking up “earlier”. (How much earlier? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? We don’t know, but Wallis dismisses two weeks as a short time, which is pretty alarming on its own.)

In any case, all points towards Wallis and Harold having the ability to go back in time in some way... but we’ve seen something similar lately, with Rylie and Prisma talking. Perhaps they contacted Rylie the same way. We’ll know more soonish.

— Mod Green : @trixylalamoon suggested that Harold’s “true” magic would have been time magic, fitting a time/space motif between him and his brother. And that does explain a lot of things! They could come from an alternate timeline, or from the future, and decided to intervene and wake Rylie “earlier”, maybe to prevent something from happening? Or provoke something. Like Wallis’ crash. He reappeared and crashed two weeks after the magic show, approximately at the same time as Rylie woke up in the hospital. Are those two events linked someway or purely coincidental?

What it doesn’t explain is “how did they get here?”. —

This timey weirdness doesn’t change the fact though that the brothers view Rylie as family and are going to help her get through whatever may come as best as they can. I do not doubt the sincerity of that, and neither should you...

“BUT HE LOOKS LIKE PRISMA’S MURDERER! TRUST NO ONE!” I hear you exclaim in chorus with Rylie. And you would be right to be suspicious, considering that Yellow is set on Necessary Murder and Amadeus seems equally determined.

For one, however, we don’t actually know whether Wallis and Harold from  the dream are working together with Amadeus; we can only confirm that they seem to know of him. (“Other red-eyed magician? What did they look like?” then a meaningful look once Rylie describes a long black haired, red eyed magician.)

— Mod Green : We know that “Mancers could inflict their powers directly on the human mind”, so to be inside Rylie’s dream, they would need the help of a Mancer. You could make a case that Harold and Wallis are mancers, but their magic wouldn’t really allow them to visit a dream, unless Wallis can open a wormhole in people’s head. Who are our other options? Of the five Mancers mentioned, we have only met two : Amadeus and Prisma. However, I don’t think Ama would help his sons to wake Rylie up. In fact, he would probably have preferred that she never wake up again. 

When Rylie wakes up and try to explain her dream, Hobo’s face is.... dread.

What about Prisma? She seems to care a lot about Rylie, and would want her to wake up. She’s already trapped in some sort of Dreamscape so she must have experiences. Well I’m not so sure... Without Dream!Wallis and Dream!Harold intervention, Rylie might have met Prisma faster. What if they were trying to prevent that...? She’s the reason why Hobo fears her and Yellow wants her dead. 

We can scratch Amaryllis and Malus from the list of suspects. One went missing thousands of years ago and the other is more of a “physical violence” than “spiritual help”. Which brings us to Hyacinth. Out of all the mancers, she’s the most likely to have mind related magic (we will talk about that another time), and she’s possibly still alive in Ecoverse. What is her interest in helping Rylie? No clue, but we can’t dismiss any lead.

And finally... Harold. I said before that maybe his “real magic” was time magic, but it’s only one possibility. He seems pretty at ease in Rylie’s dream, flying around on a giant lollipop just because he can, while Wallis looks powerless. He even has his original color scheme, so contrarily to his brother, he’s not breaking rules by being here.

He is also the first one to notice that Rylie is waking up, and says that they have to go. Which means they can come and go whenever they want, and are not dependent on another person to pull them back out. Finally, Amadeus asked the lemon kid to watch on Harold, and specifically on his sleep. He is “sleeping well” and so “his risk is back down to almost zero”. 

The Dark Overlord gave Harold a false hat, but is he also keeping his real one away to prevent him from using his magic? —

Secondly, about Ama’s motives themselves:

The reason I am using this image is to draw your attention back to the moment where Wallis went into a rage. Yes, Ama here seems very much in control of himself,but he seems to be leaking Magic everywhere. Just like his son when in great emotional turmoil. Hm. Just like...

Here. But seemingly much less controlled, indicating that he might have been less cold than he let on back then...

This picture is one of my favorite Amadeus moments. He just threw a few bombshells at us: Rylie is someone important, he’s the Dark Overlord, he murdered Prisma, he won’t let something happen again, and on top of that, he’s Petunia’s husband and the father of Harold and Wallis! Plus he has the same general color scheme as his sons! (Note that he’s ALSO rule breaking: no hat nor wand is visible during his magic usage.)

So how could we trust them when they have moments where they look like a murderer who’s been tricking the entire cast for months!?

Well, to sum up, two reasons:

1) Amadeus acts out of conviction. Both when murdering Prisma (despite his possible unrest in the moment) and when giving Rylie her Hat back. We can’t know for sure about the first, but he did the second to protect those important to him and his sons. He even apologizes to Rylie. I wholeheartedly do not think that he will harm Rylie as long as he can avoid it. Whatever it is he wants to prevent, he’ll try to explore the ways that avoid killing the newest member to his family.

2) Wallis and Harold are still their own people. They will oppose their own father who was not there for them for most of their lives if it is to protect their little sister. Even their dream selves would do it, as I have discussed above. It would not match their shown intentions, even if they seem to know more.

In other words: We should currently be worrying more over Yellow and Virga than Hobo and the dream selves of his sons...

[flcwerborne-a]

@ironlillies​​ asked:    [ confess ]  for your muse to confess their feelings to my muse.

since their first meeting, melody has spent more and more time with the faerie queen, accompanying her to her realm and also inviting her to her house. sometimes they went on walks together and melody would point out some of her favorite things she always passes by on her way to work or on her walks alone. a pretty statue, a pottery store, some flowers growing in a planter in front of a store, all sorts of things! whenever edalina speaks, she always listens intently and whenever edalina points something out, melody always has a newfound love for that thing, even if it’s something she’s seen a hundred times before. everything feels so… fresh and new, like the beginning of spring. it’s all beautiful and lovely.

sometimes they talk for hours and hours about anything and everything in the world. she’s never… done this with anyone before. it feels good. edalina never seems to think of the little faerie as an annoyance, especially with her stutter, and seems as attentive of what she has to say as melody is of her. it feels so good. she feels somewhat less self conscious of her stutter when she talks to the queen and relaxes as a result of this. in fact, she’s often quite relaxed around her, like… like the walls she built around herself years ago have slowly come tumbling down, brick by brick. her guard is almost always down around edalina, and she feels…

melody searches for the proper word as she sits in her dining room. she feels lighter, but that doesn’t quite fit. not completely. she chews the inside of her cheek as she swirls the tea around in her mug, soon taking a sip of it as she still searches for that word, though she stops as she hears a knock on her door. it’s awfully late for anyone to be visiting her, isn’t it? melody checks her phone. 3:37 am. until now, she didn’t realize it was that late!

standing, she checks the peep hole and upon seeing that it’s edalina on her doorstep, she quickly unlocks the door and opens it, expression worried.    “ i-is— “    melody forces down the lump that formed in her throat. despite that sunshine-warm smile on edalina’s face, she fears the worst.    “ is e-everything o-okay? “    she manages to get the question out, heart fluttering in her chest. edalina’s smile just grows and she shakes her head.

“ yes, everything is just fine. good, in fact. “    she says softly and melody exhales a shaky sigh of relief before a small laugh leaves her.

“ o-of course, of course. sorry, i-i— i just—… i w-was w-w-worried. “    the little faerie admits quietly and bashfully, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.    “ well… d-do you want to come in? “    she steps away from the doorway and gestures inside her home. her cats don’t get up from the couch but daisy comes over to excitedly greet the queen. it makes melody smile. she doesn’t trust anyone that her pets don’t seem to trust or like. she’s glad that they do like her. melody likes her a lot, too. as edalina nods and comes inside, she closes the door behind her and melody returns to the kitchen.    “ do you w-want some t-t-tea? i-i’ve got peach, blackberry, b-blueberry, and s-some actual teas, like— l-like e-earl grey, green tea and chamomile. “

“ blackberry sounds nice. “

melody nods and refills the kettle with hot tap water before setting it down on the burner, turning the burner on and all the way up to high.    “ i, um, i h-hope that i don’t s-sound r-rude when i ask this, b-but what are you visiting me f-for? “    the little faerie gestures for edalina to sit at the table in the dining room. daisy gets comfortable on the floor beneath it, deciding to nap there. she always seems to like being where melody is.    “ i-it’s s-so— so late, after all. “

“ well, i could be asking what you’re doing awake. “

melody smiles bashfully again.    “ c-couldn’t sleep. “

“ nightmares? “

melody notices the concern in edalina’s voice and she shakes her head.    “ no. i-i just c-c-couldn’t s-seem to fall asleep. “    she hears one of the chairs creak as edalina sits and melody returns to the chair across from her, sipping at her tea again. truthfully, the queen had been on her mind. that’s why she couldn’t sleep, but for once, she doesn’t mind being awake because of her.    “ i-is th-there anything else i can g-get for you? something to e-eat? “

“ no, i snacked on my way here. “

edalina’s response earns a giggle from melody.    “ right, y-you always keep s-some f-f-fruit in the pocket of— o-of y-your dress. “    she thought it strange at first but grew to find it rather adorable. sometimes on their walks she would see edalina reach into her pocket to pull out a blueberry and pop it into her mouth, or a strawberry or a blackberry. it was so cute. it’s something she really loves about her. she... loves a lot about her, doesn’t she? melody glances up to see the queen watching her, a small smile on her face.

“ you’re really cute when you’re lost in thought, you know that? “

“ well, t-to— to b-be fair, you think that i’m a-always c-cute. “    melody’s gaze lowers and her hand rubs the side of her neck. she doesn’t know why edalina thinks that but she would prefer not to dwell on thoughts of self-loathing while the queen is here. there must be a reason as to why she’s here, right?    “ y-you d-didn’t answer my question, though. m-my first question. “

edalina remains silent for a moment longer. perhaps mulling over what she wants to say, taking a moment to get them right.    “ i like you, melody. a lot. as more than a friend. “

where melody had assumed the worst when she saw it was the faerie queen at her door, she certainly didn’t think she would confess to such a thing.    “ d-do you really? “    it’s all she can think to ask for a moment. the weight of the other’s words haven’t quite sunk in just yet, but it doesn’t take them long to, and her heart flutters and she feels rather giddy.    “ you… you r-really l-li-like m-me? “    melody had only begun to dream of this, of being with edalina. she had kept these dreams (and subsequent day to day thoughts) to herself, however, fearing if she mentioned them to her, she would only laugh. what a silly notion, right? a common little faerie falling for the queen of all fae. silly indeed. she felt it stupid to think that she would have a chance with the queen. maybe another faerie, but the queen? the queen? never, not a chance. and yet… here they are, here edalina is, confessing to her.

“ really, i do. “

melody’s heart flutters again with edalina’s words and a small, breathless laugh leaves her. she chews the inside of her cheek again and lowers her gaze. edalina speaks so softly and gently but so surely, too. sure. of course she would be sure. someone like a queen would have to be sure in her feelings, right? but it almost feels like melody is dreaming, like this isn’t real and something her mind would conjure because of the little faerie’s desire for something that is more than friendship. love. that’s what she wants. sweet, beautiful, pure, unadulterated love. a love that’s kind and good and soothing and comforting and patient and understanding… like edalina’s love.

“ i… i k-kind of realized something earlier b-b-be-before y-you knocked on my door. “    melody whispers, glancing up at edalina.    “ i’m s-sure the— the w-walls i built around my heart a-and— and a-around m-m-myself were always kind of obvious. but you s-s-slowly w-worked your way in. g-gently you plucked away e-each s-stone and brought down each w-wall and i… i d-didn’t even notice it until just r-recently. “    voice even softer, she says,    “ a-and i— i-i-i don’t even m-mind that it was you that b-brought all of them down. y-you make me feel so… “    again, she trails away to search for that word, glancing away as she does so.

her gaze lifts as she feels edalina’s hand resting on hers, giving it a gentle squeeze as though to tell her to take her time. with edalina’s touch, she finally finds it then. free. she finally finds the right word. like a bird that caged itself and was finally set free of its own confines.

“ ...free. “    she breathes that word out and she in turn gives the queen’s hand an acknowledging squeeze.    “ you make me feel f-free, edalina. “    and she feels a myriad of other things; loved, cared for, understood. most of all, like edalina really likes her and likes being around her, that she isn’t tiring to be around or an annoyance. her heart swells, full to the brim with emotion, and it soars. tears brim her eyes and she uses her free hand to quickly wipe them away. though more tears prick the corners of her eyes, melody smiles. it’s rare that she’s emotional in a good way.     “ sorry. i-i just n-nev-never i-imagined someone… someone m-m-making m-me feel this way. “    edalina would be her first, after all.

melody realizes then that she never returned the queen’s sentiments and a small but giddy laugh spills from her lips. she gives her hand another squeeze, smiling sweetly and genuinely.    “ i l-like you, too, edalina. i think i m-might even… no, i know it: i-i l-love you, edalina. m-more th-than anything in the world, i l-love you. “

[ date? ]  for your muse to ask my muse to go on a date.

after their mutual confessions were made, the two sat in the little fae’s dining room for a little while longer, drinking tea and enjoying each other’s presence. her hand remained in edalina’s, thumb occasionally stroking her knuckles as they talked. every now and again, melody would get giddy again and her heart would swell with such wonderful emotions and she would smile.

edalina would ask about it and melody would only get bashful before, again, saying she’s just so incredibly happy — overjoyed — that the queen feels the way she does about her because melody felt the same way. she had just hesitated to tell her because she was afraid, but now she isn’t quite so afraid since edalina confessed first.

“ i-i’m g-getting pretty tired, but i— i’m n-not sure i can s-sleep! i-i’m j-just so excited. “    a soft giggle leaves melody and she finishes off her tea. it’s probably already at least five in the morning now! there’s no point in going to bed now, is there? she’ll have to be at work soon, though she’s tempted to call in sick, or maybe even tell mister hartley the truth. he would understand and no doubt be overjoyed for her. she could get a little sleep then…

“ you do look sleepy, but do you want to go on a date? not now, of course! but later, when you’ve had some sleep. “

melody smiles and nods.    “ i’d love to go on a— a-a d-date with you, edalina. “    she thought of asking her so many times if maybe, just maybe, she wanted to go on a date, but as always, felt afraid to. what if she didn’t share her desire for a date? what if she didn’t feel the same? but now melody doesn’t have to be so afraid of that possibility when now it isn’t one at all.

standing, she takes their mugs and drops the teabags into the trash before setting the mugs down in the sink.    “ i think i am g-going to try and— a-and g-get some sleep. “    she turns to face edalina, a gentle smile gracing her features.    “ d-do… do you w-w-want t-to sleep with me? i-i mean, n-nothing, well, m-more th-than that, of course! just… s-sleep. “    melody holds her hand out to the queen.

as edalina gently takes her hand, she says oh-so-softly,    “ i would love to sleep by your side, melody. “

[lime-be4n]

;)

Shuffling could be heard in the background but it was almost as if he was adjusting himself, almost sporadic and ill-prepared, though he gave it plenty thought beforehand; thus, the camera was on, and he appears to just be frozen. He runs his hands through his hair and laughs a bit. “ God, what am I doing?” his gruff voice groused, nervous hands instinctively hovered over his keyboard as he stared blankly at the not yet recording camera. A twitch. Then another. Those very hands now sat comfortably in his lap as he bit his lip in an unfavorable mix of anticipation and gut-wrenching terror. Blue eyes were momentarily lost behind dark lashes as he took a deep breath in-- 4,3,2..-- then out. He could do this. He needed to do this. Not for everyone else, but for himself. To grow-- he had to stop himself and let out a breath of amusement at the personal pep talk. Ok, smiles on-- no smiling? Smiling. No smiling-- 

As if his own hands were tired of his indecisiveness, a click of the mouse and the appearance of a small red dot had Jon’s mind reeling. Act natural, okay, normal like any other human being.  No more clowning around. That earned him another chuckle. Well, maybe if he were to make eye contact with the camera it wouldn’t be as bad, or would it be worse? Just imagine the camera in its underwear... Wait, nevermind. Ok… here goes… and from the show-stopping buildup that one could only imagine being accompanied by drums and fanfare, led to the very first word(s) that Jon would say to his fans in person (sort of). The English language offered many things; a multitude of combinations that all boiled down to the introduction of the century. That anticipated and oh so magical word was...: “Uh”. Welp, that was it. He’s got nothing. That was the extent of his genius and severely unhelpful mind. 

“So, this is me.” almost instinctively his hand goes to his nape, eyes avowedly avoiding everything but the textured bamboo wood flooring that was installed months ago. “I... uh... I know the fact that I’m not actually a raccoon crime-fightin’  hero or a giant hockey-masked serial killer, uh, clown is pro’lly disappointin’, more-so for myself than for you guys” an awkward smile, a camera glance, then back to the bamboo. At that moment, Jon swore that the bamboo flooring could rival any attention-seeking object or person. Or at least, that’s what Jon told himself as his gaze avoided contact with the camera like it was the motherfuckin’ plague. He can’t keep doing this, he needs to assert himself. With a hefty sigh, he sat forward, arms resting on his legs but stabilizing his head and looked directly at the camera. 

A void, he’s staring at a void. Just like the people who’ve pushed him down, opposed him solely to spite him, gave him shit--  a void of an unwelcoming and bone-chilling cold derived from harsh diction that every YouTuber has, at some point during their channel, had to face...but was it ever this bad? Could anyone anywhere truly empathize with the emotional and mental strain that people-- no, monsters have caused him? Have submitted him to? Would it escalate upon the uploading of this video? Oh god… oh god oh f uck…  the chime of his new phone drew him from the stupor. Who would text him at this time? His family most definitely were asleep, and he (purposefully) lost contact with his friends, and God knows Luke would only call. He seized the device, Whomest’t’ve… Evan. 

God, this man, he’s going to give him a kiss if anything comes of this. Unknowingly, a smile etched onto his face, courage filled his lungs and he set the phone down realigning himself back into the same assertive position and gave the camera a straight face. Time for a change.

“ As y’all know, some things are goin’ to be changing around here.” breathe, “ and it’s not the audio quality.” the inside joke didn’t lighten the mood. His face portrayed a disappointed look, not that he could see. “I want y’all to take this seriously because this is going to be enforced.” He took another breath,” and don’t take anythin’ the wrong way, this isn’t directed toward anybody specific,” he closed his eyes, it was getting a little harder to breathe, but he has to make it through this. “I want everyone to get along, and I know that’s impossible but try? Okay?” A subtle smile, whether it was to encourage the audience or himself, he’ll never know. “ And second, please respec’ my friends! I know they make stupid comments but, they’re still my friends and I know they’re joking, so hearin’ someone else flip their shit is kinda off…” He gave off a self-conscious look, bashful in a way; But something (almost) light-hearted turned sinister, and instantaneously “ I understand that y’all’ve been curious ‘bout me, but that needs to come to an end now.” He didn’t yell, he made sure of it but he made sure that he was heard. To some, he was a disappointed parent, not mad but disappointed, to others he was the quiet kid who took everything but said something against one person. Overall? Bone-chillingly terrifying. 

“I want my life on-line and in real-life to be separate. Unless I say or mention somethin’, I don’t want y’all to be lookin’ into it. Whether or not you guys listen, it will continue to be that way. And I’ll make sure it’s enforced. I hope I’m making myself clear.” His arms, now crossed, were cold despite the long sleeves. He wanted to hold himself but resisted the urge. “I know that may sound like a lot but just like how I help y’all, I need y’all to help me by understanding and respecting my decision and I don’t want to ramble on ‘bout a past that’s behind me...,'' He was frustrated, to say the least, and confused on what to say. He doesn’t want to spill out on the whole world, yet it’s usually what it takes to change it. “Listen, I just, I don’t, I think, AGHhh!” Why has this drought of words stopped pouring out? He just needed to breathe and speak words… Now his mind can’t even think. He takes a deep breath, hold, blow, hold, in, hold, out. Okay, back into the groove. “I need y’all to understand that, I had a troublin’ life, In real life, and while it’s completely behin’ me. I don’t want to have that mixing to my online life, ‘cause it has nothing to do with it and while it shouldn’t have an effect on me, because it doesn’t, I don’t want anything changing. Better or worse. And I’m okay with that. I'm already happy with what I have and I don't want to change that.” He sits up straight, emphasizing his surprising height. “So please, don’t change my happiness. I’d appreciate it.” He smiled a crooked smile with smiling eyes, both closed. A wholesome finish that ended with the same outro, and newfound home screens and desktops for the fans.

[steebharringt0n]

cat’s in the cradle

infant | toddler | child | teenager | young adult

a 5-part story exploring the relationship between billy hargrove and his first-born son, adam

pairing: billy hargrove x you

rating: t

a/n: last part! this was super fun to write and who doesn’t love softdad!billy? as always, thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement, i am so happy to be a part of such a wonderful, and friendly fandom.

---

part 5 - young adult

Hawkins, Indiana. May, 1985.

You took a deep inhale of the cool May night, your eyes lingering on the dark sky that was illuminated by the bright stars. If it was one thing you loved about Hawkins, is the stars that were visible by the end of a long day. The best place to watch the stars? The Quarry of course. You sat on the hood of your boyfriend’s blue car, waiting for him to find the lighter that he had accidentally dropped between the center console and the driver seat.

You felt the wind blow by you, it sent a slight shiver up your spine. Your arms instinctively crossed, hugging yourself tight to keep yourself warm. You suddenly felt something heavy drop on your shoulders, you turned your neck to face the familiar face that you had come to love so much.

Billy carefully draped his leather jacket over you, taking a seat beside you as he brought the joint up to his mouth, the search for the lighter was a success as he flicked the wheel of his lighter until a dim flame appeared. He took a deep inhale, then exhaled, passing it over to your fingers.

You took an inhale, then frowned, then proceeded to cough, “This weed is shit” you mumbled.

Billy shrugged, “Tommy’s usual guy couldn’t get good stuff. It’s too bad we weren’t in California. They got all the good shit”

You passed the joint back to him, shaking your head. “Patience m’dear. Just one more year and we’ll be out of here”

We.

It was a short word, two letters, but ever since you and Billy had started to get serious, it was a word that had begun to hold more meaning. It wasn’t just you anymore, it was you and Billy, a collective we. Plans were being made, slowly yet surely. Did it scare you? Of course it did. Billy Hargrove was a rough and tough kind of guy. He had a reputation, he slept with countless of women before he decided to settle on you.

You both were the exact opposites, and how he fell for you is still a mystery that you still can’t solve.

But here he was, sharing his shitty weed with you, giving you his leather jacket when you got cold. You’re not sure what changed in him, maybe because you were the only one who saw through his tough guy bravado and saw the scared, insecure, and deeply sensitive person he actually was.

Billy Hargrove was all smoke and mirrors, you had decided that when he showed up to class with his aviators attached to his face. When you spotted the purple eye behind the shades, you knew, you instantly knew.

Not that he would open up to you though. You were the quiet girl, you minded your own business, dated a couple guys here and there, but the blue-eyed blond that sat behind you in English class always made your heart skip a beat, made the blood rush to your cheeks whenever he paid any attention to you.

And he noticed, and he enjoyed seeing you all worked up around him.

With a wolfish smile, he would always ask you to borrow a pencil, and even if you didn’t have one, you’d lend him yours. English class was a breeze for you anyways, it’s not like you needed to take notes on Othello. 

But other than that, the both of you never interacted outside of class. He’d go his way, and you’d go yours. The hierarchy of Hawkins High made it clear who he was supposed to hang with, and you certainly weren’t one of those people.

Then December came, and something in Billy changed. He became much more quiet, kept to himself. He would still bug you for pencils, and you happily always lent him one. Never asking him any questions, never making any small talk. 

The day before Christmas break, everything changed. 

As you were cleaning out your locker, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. You turned around, and came face with a bashful Billy, his hand holding a wrapped gift. 

“Here,” he mumbled, his eyes avoiding yours as he shoved the gift into your hand. “Thanks for everything ... see you next year”

He left you planted at your locker. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to feel flattered or confused, but the fact that Billy Hargrove brought you a gift surprised the ever loving hell out of you. You watched as he walked out of the double doors, not even turning back to look at you as he disappeared into the parking lot.

It was neatly wrapped, something that surprised you. A green bow adorned at the corner with a small card attached to it.

Thanks for all the pencils, figured this is the least I can do. - B.H

You let a small laugh escape your lips, then your heart skipped a beat when you saw the 10 digit number scribbled messily under his initials. With trembling fingers, you carefully unwrapped the present. A grin creeped up on your face when you realized he had bought you a brand new set of pencils - lord knows that you had probably spent a good penny buying new pencils for yourself and for him.

With a newfound confidence in you, you quickly headed home and dialed the number on the card.

When his deep voice answered the phone, the rest was pretty much history.

You quickly became his refuge, tending to the broken boy every week. He opened up to you, he showed you all his demons and you stayed by his side. His faith in you became unwavering, and suddenly Hawkins wasn’t such a shithole with you by his side.

The Quarry became the spot for the both you. When you needed to escape the world and just lay in each others arms, relish in the quiet, the stillness of the moment.

Or when you both just wanted to smoke.

“Remember my cousin? The one you met during that family party a couple weeks ago?”

Billy let his eyes gaze out into the distance, the weed starting to make him feel light. “Mhm”

You took another inhale, closing your eyes and letting the drug overtake your senses, “My aunt called yesterday, she got knocked up. At 18?! Can you believe it?”

Billy let out a snort, “Poor kid”

You jabbed him in the ribs, and he gave you a scowl.

“Be nice. She’s going through a lot of shit ... “ you paused, adjusting yourself on the hood of his car. You pulled your arms through his leather jacket, then proceeded to lay down, getting a better look at the stars from above.

“Can you imagine having a kid? At this moment?”

You handed him the joint, he shook his head, “Nope. I ain’t ever having kids”

A laugh escaped your lips, “Bullshit. You would love a little mullet haired spawn of yours. He’d be so cute, with your eyes, and your smile ... “ a dreamy look took over your face. You felt Billy shuffle around, he stayed quiet.

You lifted your head up, sitting up so that you were resting on your elbows as you gave him a frown.

“Seriously, you don’t want kids one day?”

He let out a deep sigh, getting off the hood of his car, “No Y/N. They’re annoying, they cry, they shit all the time ... “ there was a pregnant pause, his voice then came out quiet, flicking the ash off of the joint, “Plus, I’d be a shit dad”

You scooted off the hood of his car, standing in front of him with a scowl on your face.

“Who said that? Because I know for a fact that you’d be a great dad”

He rolled his eyes, “That’s just the weed talking Y/N ... “

You jabbed a finger in his chest, “No, stop it Billy. I love you, and I think you’d be a great dad. You’ve gotten better with Max, I see how you are around my little cousins. Whether you end up having kids with me or not, don’t sell yourself short just because Neil is a piece of shit”

He raised an eyebrow “Who said I’d be having kids with anyone else?”

You shrugged, “Who knows? You might dump me for some blond bombshell with big tits once we get to California”

Billy chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his chest, “No way, who would help me keep track of all my pencils?”

“Your new hottie bombshell”

“Ha-ha”

You raised your head up to meet his blue eyes. The both of you stood quiet, your eyes gazing into each other as the crickets hummed in the background. 

“I love you. Nothing’s going to change that” he murmured, leaning his head down so that your noses brushed against each other. Your eyes fluttered shut, chills going down your spine.

“Does this mean you’ll change your mind about having kids?” you quietly asked.

He pressed a small kiss on your lips, “Nope”

“Aw, you’re no fun”

---

San Diego California, August, 2009.

“Do you have your winter clothes packed?”

“Yes mom”

“And your toiletries?”

“Oh my god, yes mom”

“And your wallet? Your important documents? Is your cellphone fully charged?”

22 year-old Adam brushed a hand over his face. He turned to face the camaro, gesturing on how was tightly packed it was. Everything that he held near and dear laid resting in boxes in the trunk of the camaro, and in the backseat.

“Mom, I think he’s okay” Ava’s voice spoke from behind you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

You caught your bottom lip in between your teeth, your eyes intensely staring at the boy - no, man - in front of you.

With graduating at the top of his class, Adam was a shoo-in for Stanford University. Although it wasn’t your alma-mater, and although he was now about 8 hours away from you, you were happy that he was at least in-state. His four years at college flew by, but life for you and Billy continued. You both had your hands full now that 17-year old Ava was beginning her senior year at Sunset Cliff High.

She’d grown into her looks, definitely looking like you more and more everyday, which meant that Billy’s over-protectiveness was on a constant high. When word got around that Billy Hargrove’s hot daughter - Adam Hargrove’s younger sister - was starting at Sunset Cliff, every guy wanted to date her, which meant that Billy had a lot on his plate.

All those antics that Billy pulled in high school, Ava was now pulling them. No longer could she hang her lower lip and pout her way out of things. She was rebellious, loud, and into scuffles here and there.

And dating? Don’t even think about it. Every guy who would even think about showing their face at the Hargrove household would get a door slammed in their face.

It scared the shit out of Billy, watching his little girl, his little princess, go out into this big, unknown world. No longer did Ava need her daddy to hold her hand, or kiss her booboos. She was turning into her own, strong-willed woman, and she didn’t take shit from anybody (Except you because hell hath no fury like a mother finding her daughter sneaking into her bedroom at 3 AM on a school night)

But Adam? Oh he was good, he was always good. He ended up majoring in business, inspired by his old man who had continuously ran successful automotive businesses. He wanted to go into the trade, open up his own business, whatever it would be.

Then, an opportunity arose for Adam during his senior year, a job offer, working at a large business firm. He had a desk waiting for him with his name at the end of May. 

You and Billy couldn’t be any more thrilled, any more proud of your boy.

However the opportunity laid all the way in New York, thousands of miles away from you, from Billy, from his family, and that was a hard pill for you to swallow.

But here the three of you were - standing out the driveway, watching as Adam finished packing his last belongings into his camaro. Billy had made sure the car was up to par, that it was able to make the long drive to New York. He put on new brakes, new oil, and he even updated the radio so that it could play bluetooth.

Adam turned to face his little sister, standing next to her mother with a soft smile on her face.

“I’ll miss ya kid” he muttered.

“Invite me up to your place sometime yeah? Maybe I’ll end up checking up some colleges there, Brandy said that NYU has a really good writing program” Ava said.

Adam nodded, “Just don’t mention it to mom, I don’t think she can handle both of us living across the states. Knowing her she’ll end up following us and dragging dad along”

A laugh escaped both their lips. Adam then scooped up his sister for a tight embrace, squeezing her tight. He wasn’t sure when the next time he was going to see her, so he made sure that their last memory of them together was a good one. He pulled away, ruffling her long (Y/H/C) hair, “Don’t be so hard on mom and dad, go easy on them”

Ava smirked, “I’ll try my best Adam”

Adam then turned to his mother who had been constantly on the verge of tears this whole week. Wailing about her baby boy leaving her across the state. You bit your bottom lip, trying to prevent yourself from become a blubbering mess. 

You placed your hand on Adam’s cheek, “Drive safe, be good, please call me when you get to Colorado ...” you trailed off, tears starting to leak from your eyes.

Adam leaned into your touch, placing his hand over yours as he watched the tears fall freely from your eyes. “I love you ma, you’re the best mom anyone could have ever asked for”

That just sent you into crying overdrive.

You pulled Adam into a hug, he was much taller than you so you just rested your head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as you sobbed into his t-shirt.

“Ma, you’re gonna ruin my shirt” Adam whined.

You pulled away from him, nodding as you quickly wiped away your tears. You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. Adam then quickly scanned the driveway, then the front porch, 

“Where’s dad?” he questioned.

“He’s inside, somewhere, he might be in his office” you said.

Adam nodded and he made his way back into his house. His eyes quickly scanned each room on the first floor, but he still couldn’t find him. He then made his way upstairs, checking each bedroom, until he found his father standing in his childhood room, staring out the window. Billy didn’t need to turn around to know that his son was standing behind him.

“About to head out huh?” 

Adam leaned against the door frame, “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend in Colorado, it’s a 16 hour drive, but with stops I think I can make it. Then it’s off to New York”

Billy turned to face Adam, walking towards his son.

His son.

It scared him how much Adam looked like him. How there was another person in the world that had his features, his mannerisms. 18 year-old Billy would have never guessed in a million years that his son turned out the way he did. A good person, off to embark on his own journey in this world. He thinks about that night, that night where he told you that he never wanted to have kids, and he laughs at himself.

Sure Adam wasn’t planned, he was the surprise of the century, but he doesn’t regret this journey one bit. It taught him patience, it taught him perseverance, to find joy in the little things, to not sweat the small stuff, and above all, it taught him to love, stronger and more fierce than ever before. 

Billy reached behind his neck, pulling off the silver pendant that laid on his chest and in a fluid motion, he placed over Adam’s head

Adam stared at the pendant, his eyes wide with surprise, “But dad ... didn’t grandma give you this?”

“I want you to have it. It’s supposed to keep you safe. I won’t be around anymore to make sure there aren’t any monsters in your closet, so I want you to have it.”

Adam swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat.

Instead he just nodded, letting the pendant rest in his palm. He looked up at his father, a half smile on his face as he threw himself into Billy’s arms one last time.

Billy squeezed his eyes shut, tears quietly leaking out, streaming down his cheeks. Adam tried hard to fight back the tears, but eventually his eyes became flooded with tears as well.

Billy’s mind suddenly became flooded with memories. Of you, him and Adam slowly swaying to Led Zeppelin. To Adam walking his first steps, his first words, to taking Adam to the beach for the first time, winning his little league championship, graduating high school, graduating college, and now, leaving home.

It’s memories that he would hold near and dear to his heart for the rest of his life.

Billy then pulled away, letting out a small laugh as he realized they were both crying, but neither of them cared. He grabbed his son’s head and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you son”

“I love you too dad”

“You come back home to visit us alright? Don’t forget about us” Billy jokingly warned.

 Adam let out a laugh, “Not sure whenever that’ll be Dad, but I’ll try my best to come home for the holiday season”

The two Hargrove men walked back downstairs, and outside to the camaro. You and Ava said your final goodbyes to Adam one last time, watching him as he pulled out of the driveway.

Billy had his arms laid wrapped around his girls’ shoulders, the three of you stared at the blue car, getting smaller as he drove away until he finally disappeared into the distance.

“Remember when we were 18, and how you told me you’d be a shit father?” you suddenly asked, reaching your hand towards his and interlinking your fingers with his.

Billy felt the brush of your wedding band against his. He let out a hum in response to your question. You looked up at him, a shit-eating grin on your face, “Oh how wrong you were”

Billy returned the grin back, shaking his head at the words he uttered to you that night at the quarry.

Oh how wrong he was indeed.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then, dad We're gonna have a good time then

---

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