#writing this reminder also for myself

[zeena-athena]

One day you'll be in a place where your presence will be cause for celebration. Where the words that come forward from you will be met with mirth and happiness. Where you won't feel put out or out of place. It may be small, with only a few people to decorate its walls, but you'll be there one day. I have faith in you.

[rubyleaf]

I see a lot of characters who isolate themselves because they've been abandoned and don't want to go through the pain again, but what I don't see enough are characters who isolate themselves for the opposite reasons. Characters who've been smothered and helicoptered and had their boundaries stomped. Characters who act tough and hyper-independent because they were treated as fragile and helpless. Characters who act like they don't need anyone because they were told they can't do anything on their own. Characters who lash out at people trying to express worry or offer help, because worry was weaponized to control them and help was pushed on them against their will. Characters who struggle with vulnerability because past weakness was used as "proof" that they couldn't handle themselves and a tool to take away their autonomy. Who sometimes snap even at loved ones because their brain auto-registers love and affection as being backed into a corner.

"I work alone" not because they've always done that, but because they've never had the chance.

[lost-in-fandoms]

cw: mentions of blood and animal death (of the hunting variety)

Daniel raises his knife, muscles tense as he listens to the rustling between the trees growing louder.

He's not far from home, he was just checking on his traps, but he's not going back until he knows what's moving in the woods.

He takes half a step back towards a tree, to cover his back, eyes flicking towards the sky as some spooked birds take flight. He can hear someone screaming further away.

Then suddenly the sound of frantic running becomes clearer, sticks breaking and undergrowth snapping, and a second later someone is tumbling into the small clearing, tripping over the bag Daniel had left a few steps away and tumbling to the ground.

Daniel doesn't know what he was expecting, but for sure not this.

It's a boy.

It's hard to figure out his age, both because of how dirty he is and because of how he's still scrambling to get back up, struggling to find his legs, but he must be younger than Daniel for sure.

Daniel lowers his knife and takes a step forward, wanting to give him a hand, but the boy lets out a small growl, stopping his apparently fruitless attempts of standing back up and crouching instead, one leg awkwardly bent, clearly hurt.

"Hey, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you," Daniel says, using the same tone of voice he uses for his horse and scared animals. He doesn't want to put away his knife, doesn't know if this guy will be dangerous after all, but he tries to at least appear less threatening, making himself smaller.

It seems to work, because the boy shifts again, now kneeling instead of crouching, hazy blue eyes gazing up pleadingly. He looks like a supplicant at church, and Daniel isn't surprised when he starts begging.

"Please," he says, voice scratchy and weirdly accented, exhaustion clear in every syllable, "they will...please."

Daniel doesn't know what is going on, but he can still hear screaming somewhere in the woods, can see the boy flinching with it, and he understands enough.

"They're looking for you?" he asks, eyes going from the boy to the woods and back again.

The boy nods, mouthing please once again, no sound to accompany the way he shivers.

Daniel doesn't know if he'll come to regret this decision, but he's not going to leave someone scared and exhausted in the woods, not when he can help. And if the guy decides to attack him, Daniel is pretty sure he'll be able to fend him off. He looks skin and bones.

"My house is straight down that way, the door is open. Go in and close it behind you."

For a second the boy doesn't move, looking at him like he doesn't understand, and Daniel just has the time to start wondering if maybe he really doesn't, maybe doesn't speak this language, before he's clumsily pushing to his feet and running away.

The sounds of the pursuers are growing closer, so Daniel doesn't waste any time, dragging his boot across leaves and mud to hide any traces of the boy falling there and then running away.

He grabs his bag again, then moves away from the clearing, towards the people he can hear approaching.

He's glad he didn't hesitate more, because he's just a few steps away when a group of men bursts through the trees, carrying swords, bows and a lit torch.

They all stop when they see Daniel, but they don't raise their arms. Daniel recognises one of them from a nearby village he sometimes goes to when he needs to buy something.

"You're scaring my food, gentlemen," he says, hoping he sounds as normal as possible. He doubts any of them knows how he normally sounds anyway.

"We're looking for someone," one of the men rushes on, fully ignoring what Daniel said. Rude.

"About this height, looks a bit like a feral animal," adds another, the one with the torch. Danie doesn't like the free fire in his part of the forest and the boy did not look like a feral animal, just like a scared kid, so he doesn't feel particularly moved into helping.

"The only feral animals I've seen are the ones in my bag," Daniel replies, plucking a dead rabbit out of his bag by the ears.

The men look at each other, clearly not believing him, but also eager to just keep going, with or without his help.

"He's dangerous," the one with the sword finally says, "cursed."

Daniel doesn't know if as a warning or if to encourage him to rat the boy out. Daniel refuses to react.

"Well, good luck with your search, then! Thank you for keeping the people safe, and all that."

The man with the torch glares at him, clearly not amused by Daniel's levity, but Daniel just smiles. He doesn't move from his spot as the men grumbles among themselves about which direction to take, but waves when they start running again, slightly more east than Daniel's house.

He waits until he can't hear them anymore, then heads home.

--

When he is in front of his door he pauses. He doesn't want to get inside with his knife out, and the kid looked more scared than dangerous, but he can still hear the man's voice when he had said cursed, like he truly believed it. And it's not a guarantee, people will believe in anyway, he would know, but usually underneath those stories there are slivers of truth.

He still puts the knife away.

When he gets inside everything looks unchanged, enough for him to wonder if the boy just ran off.

"Hey, it's just me," he calls out, just in case. If the boy isn't there nobody will hear him embarrass himself anyway.

For a second nothing changes, but then a shadow near the fireplace moves, and the boy uncurls from his hiding place next to the firewood.

Now that they're no longer among the trees, he looks even worse. There's mud and leaves in his hair and on his clothes, a dark smudge next to his nose. There are several red scratches on his face, and his clothes don't seem to be in a much better condition. He's still holding his leg weirdly.

"Are they gone?" he asks, voice even raspier than earlier. Daniel can see how dry and cracked his lips are, and resolves to get him some water as soon as he's sure he's not going to get killed.

"Seemed to be going towards the river," he nods, pointing east. Then, cutting to the chase, "they said something about you."

He watches the boy flinch, back going rigid, hands splaying on the floor as if he's readying himself to push to his feet and run.

"Are you going to kill me?" Daniel doesn't care about curses, not at the moment at least, but he does care about his life. Mostly.

The boy looks surprised by the question, but shakes his head.

"Have you killed someone?" Daniel asks again, just to make sure.

There is something there, a shift in the guy's expression, but he still shakes his head. Good enough.

Daniel walk towards the table, dropping his bag and his knife, before going to wash his hands. He can feel the boy's eyes on him the whole time, so he's not surprised to find him staring at him when he turns back towards him.

"Is your leg hurt?"

The boy hesitates, probably considering if it is worth to give Daniel a point of weakness just to get some help, but then he nods. He rolls up his pants to show deep puncture wounds, still bleeding.

Daniel hisses, not knowing how the boy was able to not only stand, but run on that. That looks nasty. It looks like a...

"Wolf trap?"

The boy flinches again, and Daniel can see his hands shake. Must be a yes.

"Okay, I'm gonna help you with that, and then we're going to eat, and then you can decide if you want to stay in my amazing company, or if you want to leave. That good for you?"

There is another long pause. The boy seems to have some difficulty processing all those words, even if Daniel doesn't know if there is a language barrier or if it's just the blood loss, but finally he nods, dragging himself slightly further away from his hiding corner.

He extends a hand, looking almost shy, but Daniel has no problem filling the distance separating them and helping him up, watching as his face contorts in pain but no sound escapes his lips.

"I'm Daniel," he says as he helps him towards one of the chairs.

The boy waits until he's taken a couple full breaths after seating before answering.

"Max."

"Well, Max, I'm gonna fix you up, and then I'm gonna change our plans and offer you a bath instead," Daniel says, looking up from where he is grabbing some supplies to grin at Max. "You stink."

For a moment, it looks like Max won't react, the joke falling flat, but then the corner of his lip turns up, his eyes growing slightly less glassy.

"You too," he replies.

It's not much of a joke, but Daniel rewards him with a laugh anyway. Max's small, pleased smile, feels more like a blessing than a curse.

[marblerose-rue]

basking in moonlight

[necrotic-nephilim]

@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.

so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.

a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.

and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.

so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.

beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.

because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.

and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.

and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.

and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.

people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.

it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.

[myopicry]

sometimes I think so much of "queer" discourse surrounds semantics and identity labels because people engaging in these spaces legitimately do not live life outside of the internet. I don't just mean they don't go outside or talk to real people, but the way they interact with real people is never truly free from the internet. I think this is just sort of how gen z are now unfortunately, so much of our lives are consumed by handheld devices and social media platforms, but I find it way more prevalent in artsy, liberal, tra-positive communities. (the amount of times I just hear people straight up quote popular tumblr posts or tiktok trends...)

and surrounding yourself in real life with people who frequent the same internet circles as you and thus hold the same beliefs is a great way to not end up experiencing anything actually real, and thus you never really learn anything from your life experiences or from other perspectives, much less experiences of relationships or sex or romance. leading to people caring way too much about words and perception with things like pronouns or microlabels or "validity." everything is about optics and holding the "correct" opinions because that's the state of the internet these days! of course they'd ignore the actual material aspects of oppression, what is the internet if not a breeding ground for consumerist distraction from dealing with the various staggering issues in society?

"touch grass" isn't even a good enough solution anymore. can you partake in any hobby without thinking of how other people would percieve it? can you have a conversation without parroting the words of a tiktok post? can you seek love and relationships without obscuring it in layers of branding? can you understand yourself, truly understand who you are, without obsessing over how it looks on a screen?

[sightkeeper]

Hey you! Have you read a fic recently? Reblogged some art? Take a minute to go leave a comment on it if you haven't already! Kudos and reblogs are wonderful, but take an extra minute to make someone's day with some kind words!

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...

[hballegro]

the clock is here. all hail.

i forgot to turn antialiasing to the right settings with my pen so it is. the little numbers are chunky. thats life sometimes. just dont zoom in too hard. if i fix it, i wont make a new post abt it ill just edit it on to this one or something [and state that i did so in the post]

prev post with noclock version

and as promised here is also progress pics, harvested from when i sent screenshots to friends as i worked. as a bonus ive also included various layer names and the 5 different names the file went thru. the parts i [very lazily] painted over with dark blue had not been done yet, ergo anything with dark blue over it is just the picture itself so do not regard it

i will now be nice to myself and work on my fanfic and smaller drawings for a while. i will do eye posts sometimes still when i get a slow day and wanna do some peepers for 3 hours, i have collected many eyes [klinger, fr mulcahy, trapper, margaret, charles, hawkeye, bj. ive been busy stealing eyeballs to paint on. theyre all on one document its pretty funny]. i will be doing my best to force the cast into my style so i can do quick stuff.

i also WILL do more paintings of full shots again, but. fellas. ive done 3 back to back full paintings with no other digital art projects in between.

this has been NOT good planning lol

not sure if i should tag everything again so i will just. do so? idk i have not been on tumblr hardcore since like 2018 and have never regularly posted so idk proper etiquette. im gonna leave off characters for this one ig

[cardi-c]

you're not a 'content machine' 💗

[pettyprocrastination]

thinking about how as Aemond’s wife you are the model of perfection. 

Your back is straight as you curtsy when you first meet him and hair neatly braided with fine jewels. Your voice is even and never waivers as you speak to him of your family and how grateful they are for this union. 

You are intelligent and beautiful, the perfect wife. 

It’s why Aemond hardly ever spends time with you. 

He bears no ill will toward you, of course. There is no resentment or hatred to his lady wife, but there are no fond feelings either. 

He knows of courting and romance, his mother taught him everything from a young age. The poor woman would hold her son’s hands tight and explain that a man must not only respect his wife, but truly cherish her. Love her in the eyes of gods and men. As he grew older he noticed the way his father would wave off her constant advice and concerns until the dreaded night where she was the only one defending him after he lost his eye.

But practice was one thing. When you were nothing but a concept. A figment of Aemond’s imagination when he was ten and marriage was only spoken of during his lessons. Before he lost his eye. Before he heard the ladies of the court whispering about his mutilation and before he watched a whore flinch at the sight of his scarring when Aegon dragged him to a brothel on his thirteenth name day. 

He learned then that no matter how much he would love and worship his wife, it would not be returned. 

Rather than attempt to force it (he was no brute and had no intentions of doing something so cruel) he simply let you be by yourself. 

Yes you were married. You sat by one another at every meal and formal event and on the rare occasion he would even ask for your hand in a dance. But Aemond’s affections toward you were few and far to find. 

But there were moments. 

Where his icy facade would weaken and you found yourself able to slip through the cracks. 

Alicent had told you of his “moments” when the engagement had been announced. The queen herself taking you by the hand as you walked through the garden and explaining gently of Aemond’s condition. 

“There are times where he feels a great deal of pain because of the-” She paused, chewing on her cheek while trying to find the most inoffensive way to describe the tragedy that befell her son. “-incident he had as a child.” 

You knew enough of it. Many rumors flew through court the day Aemond targaryen walked in with a patch on his eye after Laenor Velaryan’s funeral at driftmark. Some day it was from a sparring incident, others say it was a mark he bore from the first time he mounted the mighty vhaegar. Others say that the Rouge Prince Daemon Targaryen himself gave it to his younger cousin after crude words were exchanged behind closed doors. 

You didn’t know what was the truth. Aside from the day the princeling got his scar, was the same he got his dragon.

A fair trade, some would say. 

But they didn’t live with the attacks he did. 

Nerve damage, is what the maester’s called it when you asked them for more information. His wound may have healed years prior but the prince would continue to live his life with constant bouts of mind-numbing pain brought on by the slightest touch or too sharp of a wind to his cheek. 

“Senseless fits.” Aegon called it. When he heard about your curiosity about his brother’s condition he had all but cornered you late at night in the hall. “Anything will set him off and send him throwing a tantrum like a belligerent child. It’s quite entertaining.” 

But there’s a moment where the elder brother frowns and you see a shred of concern in his eyes. 

“He doesn’t like to be touched during those moments. It makes the pain worse. So if you’re trying to find some way to comfort him I’d recommend you do something else.” 

What was ‘something else’ you learned, was simply being there. 

Sitting by his side when he curled into himself, trembling fingers reaching out to grab yours and not complaining when his nails dig into the palm of your hand as he cries out in pain. When his breath evens out and the pain subsides, he crawls to you and presses his face to the crook of your neck. He’s far too tired to cover the gnarled scar covering the side of his face but you show no fear or disgust at the sight of it. Your fingers run through his hair, gently combing back the silver tresses and ignoring the tears that stain the shoulder of your gown. 

The next morning your husband would wake in your arms and takes a moment to watch your peaceful expression and the way the morning sun kisses your skin. 

That day Alicent notices her son sits closer to you at breakfast, speaking softly to you of something she cannot understand. But when she sees his hand reach out and grasp yours, she smiles. 

[suusoh]

I think a lot of people seem hesitant to write about Johan Liebert, believing there’s a need to portray him "accurately" or "seriously" or else don't write him at all.

This fear is completely valid and understandable of course; experiencing it myself. Most works in the "x reader" section tend to lean heavily toward psychological thriller and suspense, all crafted with such skill and depth with downright the most beautiful writing style ever. (can you tell I want to inject these fics right into my veins.)

I absolutely fucking LOVE these. Okay? let's establish that. I eat up these works every time, they clear my skin and water my crops.

What saddens me a bit is to think that starting out writers who read these fics, instead of getting inspired by such beautiful works, accidentally intimidate themselves out of writing for Johan because they think that is the standard of what a Johan fic should look like. I suspect many aspiring writers believe they need to meet certain "requirements" before they can write about Monster or Johan.

It's easy to think that you have to read countless analysis posts on monster, watch the series dozens of times, or have a good grasp in psychology and philosophy before you're allowed to write about him (guilty ✋️).

While it’s beneficial to understand a character well, I've noticed an underlying sense of "perfectionism" found within the fandom, creating this sort of cycle:

-> Look at the Johan/Monster tag: You see no "bad" or "inaccurate" fanfics—only well-written ones. -> Try to write for Johan: You feel your work will never match the quality or accuracy of what's already out there, so you hesitate to share it. -> Avoid uploading your fanfics: you think your work is "inaccurate," so you might as well not upload it. Someone might even bash you for it.

And then the loop begins at the top again. Breeding the idea that only meticulously researched, serious fics are worthy of uploading. I believe these amazing fics should be a source of inspiration to you to share your own stories instead of holding back. I doubt the authors of those fantastic pieces want anyone to feel intimidated. In fact, I'm sure that they, along with many readers, would likely LOVE to see a selection of variety and creativity in the fandom.

It's good to be cautious of your characterization, great even. It means you've at least put in the work right? But you shouldn't let the fear of making something "untrue" to Johan's character stop you entirely. It might help to look at certain fanfics as a way to guide you, but not to set strict laws on yourself. He’s meant to be an enigma, a puzzle to interpret in various ways. For example, one author might say he enjoys tea, while another might explain he prefers blue Gatorade in their story. The beauty of writing him lies in these interpretations!

( Also there are people on platforms like TikTok and YouTube using Johan as a mascot for the "sigma male manipulator". Writing Johan x reader going on a cute date as a little treat for himself with his newfound humanity is absolutely fair game at this point 💀 )

Numerous serious fandoms, like Sherlock, Hannibal, or Dexter, have their share of fluff and unserious fics that don’t delve deeply into character analysis. Yet they’re written, uploaded, and enjoyed by the community.

Fandom and fanfic writing should be a space and a chance for you to experiment and indulge in your creativity. That's what everyone is doing here, it's not a competition for "best writing". You shouldn't feel any pressure to write for anyone else but yourself and write what you wish to read. If anything, I'm pretty sure all the johan peeps are begging to have more people write, eating up any sort of writing like the dogs we are. woof woof bitchh!

You might think that your fanfic about Johan running away to join the circus is stupid, but somewhere out there is someone waiting to find and read a fic of Johan running away to join the circus.

[scramblecat]

Something I really love about Nerdy Prudes Must Die is how it completely subverts the ‘uncool kid joins the popular kids’ trope.

Typically with a story that has a similar premise (a friend or a love interest in a higher place on the school hierarchy from the ‘uncool’ character) I feel like a lot of the time we see the same thing happen over and over: the uncool kid finds a place in the popular kids, and starts behaving like them, treating everybody they used to hang out with as below them. If it’s ‘resolved,’ it’s by the main character realizing the popular kids are actually shitty people that they don’t want to hang out with. Even if at the end they go back to the uncool kids, that pipeline and change still happens, and it’s central to the plot.

And that’s certainly what I thought we were going to see in Nerdy Prudes. After Pete’s phone call with Steph (‘just these two fuckin’ nerds who won’t leave me alone!’), I was genuinely, actually starting to dread seeing Pete go through that change and start to treat Richie and Ruth like shit. I can even go so far to say I was expecting him to, given his newfound boost of confidence and thinking he’s impervious to even Max Jägerman!

But Nerdy Prudes doesn’t do that at ALL.

Pete never rises to the status of ‘popular kid’. Instead, Steph is the one to join the other group.

It’s clear that she’s certainly reluctant to do so— she’s been conditioned by the school environment and her popular kid status to think these kids are losers and Weird and uncomfortable to be around. But she’s also reluctant to actually be a shitty person to them, especially after she starts falling for Pete.

Speaking of Pete, he really is her link into the group, just like the role of ‘popular kid’ usually is played in this genre of storyline. But it’s handled a lot differently, and the way it is fits so well into the plot.

The only reason that Steph is willing to join the group of nerds in the first place is, of course, to get revenge on Max. But at the start of the musical, it’s clear that she doesn’t even know the magnitude of what Max does to the nerds— she straight up asks Pete who he’s running from right before Literal Monster, for Pete’s sake (ha do you see what I did there—). I don’t think she’d have to ask if she knew how much of a monster Max really was. Seeing what he did to Pete was what snapped her into that realization of how fucked up Max’s behavior is (and that nobody is going to punish him for it), which is why she joins the group.

‘But Scramble where’s your Evidence that just sounds like a theory?’

Bear with me here while I talk about Bully the Bully.

Bully the Bully (and the scene prior) is actually the single greatest indicator of how Steph’s opinion of the nerds shifts. At first, she looks and sounds like she absolutely does not want to be there. She takes a place standing FAR away from the group—

— and retorts back at things they’re saying multiple times, insulting them a little, and just generally looking down on them. (‘God, you guys are nerds.’).

She comments on how she thinks the things the nerds are doing are weird (such as the way Grace spins around) and seems very resistant to participating. She still looks down on most of them, and she doesn’t even try to hide it.

But as the song goes on, she starts getting a little more into it. Grace swings her into the group, and she starts participating just a little, joining in on the lineup, laughing a little. And while she doesn’t contribute her own solo line on the rest of the ‘fealty, a duty’ bit like everybody else does, she joins in on Pete’s part once she sees that he’s participating, too. And she’s starting to smile a little!

She starts joining in on the antics a little more after that, and this time on her own! She’s genuinely having fun!! All of a sudden she’s alert and a little more enthusiastic about this, starting to match the energy of the nerds, because she’s realizing that it isn’t so bad after all, and actually that they’re fun to be around!

I really like this sequence here— she’s fully involved at this point, but is thrown off when she sees the other nerds all of a sudden improvising with the moves —

—And tries to come up with one of her own the next time around.

Even if she doesn’t get one in, it’s still clear that she wants to be a part of it, too.

My favorite part however is when she joins in on the ‘bean school’ bit, where she seems a little not sure of what they’re doing & hesitant to do it, but tries to go along with it nonetheless, just like the improv poses— no matter how odd and random it seems to her at first.

It’s a sharp contrast to how she’d been at the start of the song, separated from the group and looking down on them for doing these weird little things. But by the end, she’s realizing how enjoyable this group really is! She’s dancing around with them, fully and eagerly joining in on what they’re doing, having fun just being goofy and weird! And she doesn’t see it as a bad thing anymore!

(Okay Scramble note: while making this gif I noticed that Steph is actually the first to initiate the snapping at the end WAAAA… I love the little details in this show. reminder to me to make a post compiling some of my favorites because there are so many I’ve noticed on my rewatches...)

The transition of Steph’s attitude toward the nerds is absolutely delightful. There’s none of that ‘returning to your own position in the heirarchy’ stuff, either. She’s made herself comfortable as a part of the gang, and she enjoys it!

While Steph is the biggest and most relevant, there is actually another (short-lived) example of this— with Max Jägerman, right before his death.

Max is the antagonist of the show. Hell, there’s an entire song at the beginning of the musical dedicated to establishing how much of a terrifying monster he is, and how all the nerds fear him. He even says these things with his own mouth, and he says them with glee. He’s proud to be a bully that people fear, he’s proud that people cower down around him, and he’s absolutely not afraid to be horrible toward those he deems below him.

But after Max is told that the nerds put this together purely to scare him— and that he deserves it— his demeanor towards the nerds changes ENTIRELY. All of a sudden, he’s not the literal monster that he’s explicitly been shown to be up until this point. I’m not saying that ‘he was like this all along’ or whatever— he very much does not regret anything he’s done, and does not regret the person he is, and still is that person. But for a single moment, he sheds the god complex, and for the first time, treats the nerds like equals— and not even in the way Kyle and Jason are ‘equals’.

He’s genuinely excited and happy about all this! He expresses how he really liked how they went about this, and compliments Ruth!

And he’s not bringing them up to his level, either— he is meeting them where they’re at. Similarly to Steph, he’s starting to be okay with some of the aspects of how the nerds behave, and even finding it fun in his own way. Even if the intent was to scare him, he likes the way they executed it, and takes it as something they did to make him happy. Obviously he never gets to have a chance at adjusting to it like Steph did, but hey, I’m counting it as a small example regardless!

(And this all is not to discount the fact that he’d very proudly done— and continued to do— fucked up things. he’s.. not a decent person regardless of this scene AJDHAHRHA im not exactly a max redemption arc truther. but that just kind of showed that he had the Potential to adjust. and then he got killed and turned evil again </3)

Anyway. Really delightful how they executed this trope subversion, and I’m so happy that they did. Not only does it help to emphasize that these characters care about each other/are genuine to each other (especially in the case of Steph and Pete, and Pete and the other nerds) but it really feels a lot neater and nicer to watch than it would’ve been if they’d gone the route with the trope as it’s usually played!

I am notoriously terrible at figuring out how to word a conclusion, so have another little gif and compare it to the first image in the post :]

[captainkirkk]

When I started writing 'lessons in tea making', I set out to make it a longfic that following ATLA Book 2 and 3 in its entirety but now its been almost 5 years and I'm realising that I'm probably never going to get around to finishing this monster of a wip

HOWEVER, I do have around 15k of chapter 2 collecting dust in my google drive so.... what's everyone's opinion on authors uploading (signposted) unfinished chapters....

[the-gay-prometheus]

*through gritted teeth staring at a blank document* I am cringe but I am free I am cringe but I am free I am c-

[necrotic-nephilim]

in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)