#with some good old validation of all their worst fears

[foundfamilywhump]

whumper who weaponizes whumpee’s insecurities to break them down emotionally, to make them easier to manipulate or even just for fun, to see them hurt. make them cry.

reminding whumpee of the parent(s) who hurt them. the friend who betrayed them. the team who kicked them out. dredging up the sources of their beliefs that they won’t matter to anyone, that their pain, their suffering, their life is nothing anyone would care about.

taunting them: who’s coming for you? even if you got away/told someone what’s happening, what would be the point? go ahead. we’ve already called them, they say good riddance. we could put an ad out in the paper, broadcast it online and no one would lift a finger in your name. you’re free for the taking. anyone could do anything to you. just face it: you’re a defenceless target.

[stringsbasement]

i have more to say, mainly about peri and his parents' initial separation, as well as the parallels that can be found with this version of peri and hazel, but i feel it would be best to end it here :)

I would love more to hear about this.

cosmo and wanda's form of affection comes in constant and excess validation for every little thing peri does. they're clingy and suffocating with their love, and as much as peri grew to dislike it, he can't help but become dependent on this validation; it makes peri absolutely terrified of doing anything wrong which might disappoint them, and everyone else who perceives him

timmy might be the only one that would treat him normally. timmy's rough around the edges, but i can also see him being a jerk in the typical big brother style. being purposely annoying and rude, but loving and genuine enough to be real with peri when he needs it

they compliment each other— the worst godchild to ever exist, and the ultimate golden child

timmy doesn't expect anything of peri. he thinks he's special because he's family, not because he's a fairy baby, or because of some vendetta against his parents. and peri doesn't think timmy's a horrible person who ruins everything he touches. they see each other's flaws, and loves each other because of them

in "timmy's secret wish," peri is the first and last to successfully defend timmy's court case. (which, i mind you, he did by going poof poof poof in the speeches he made after timmy's other defenses utterly failed. he was able to just... do that. the judges didn't need to hear a single thing more because they all automatically trust him) (even if they did send him to the hocus poconos right after lmao) he's literally the only reason timmy's free at all. i have no doubt there's plenty of other, off-screen occasions where he uses his "status" to protect timmy

on the other hand, timmy enables peri into his antics, allowing him to just… goof off. have fun; cause chaos to his heart's content. he does things that he wouldn't otherwise, and it'll always be timmy who takes accountability so he wouldn't feel bad for it

so when timmy leaves, it undoubtedly affects him. it affect his freedom. it wouldn't matter how old he was— they were together for the first 8 (technically 50+) years of his life. that stuff sticks, subconsciously or not

so it comes time cosmo and wanda has to do something about it. what to do when a child's missing their brother?

hazel's case was straightforward. she needed companionship, assurance to ward off her fears, and a healthy dose of fun to loosen her up and take her mind off things

but what can you give a child who already has everything he could want? you give him as much love as you can, but wait, he pushes you away for it. shoot. so now you give him space, but he grows ever more distant, and when you realize you might've given him too much space, he's already off on his own, out of your reach

so you decide to go as well. you retire and take a long vacation with your partner, and you have faith that your child is doing something he loves and that he'll come back to you in his own time

and when that child is finally, utterly alone... there's nothing he can do but regret

peri wouldn't have much, if any, close friends he can truly confide with. not if he pushed them all away too

(with the way that fairies, pixies, and their respective antis are the dominant species, i'm guessing that the main reason is because other species don't live nearly as long. so usually, fairies rely on each other as forever companions. except no one but irep is even within peri's age group, (irep, who is antagonistic towards him on a good day,) which we know is an issue because of "poof's playdate," where they felt the need to turn other fairies into babies to get peri some socialization)

for hazel, she was able to acquire close friends over time through her own efforts. it's apparent in the finale just how much hazel has grown over the course of the show. at the start, she had difficulties overcoming her dependence towards her brother and coping with the changes in her life, but she adapted and turned that into her strength. she put herself out there and formed new bonds that, in the end, was the reason they were able to save fairy world

right off the bat, hazel and anthony parallels peri and timmy

anthony moved onward with life, while timmy wanted to stay a kid forever. the difference between them is that anthony knew he had a home to come back to, a family that will always be there to support him when he returns. timmy felt that once his memories are gone, he'll have nothing, because his fairies didn't just help him cope with his life, they replaced it entirely, to the point that timmy has no legs to stand on if they were to disappear

timmy loved too much, and cosmo and wanda had too much love to give. it ended up hurting them instead

cosmo and wanda learned that lesson, but peri didn't.

(i already have more ideas for him and dev and oh do they wound me...)

peri becomes a way hazel gets to see what it would be like if she never let go of anthony, and peri would see a glimpse of his younger self in hazel, who is happy and content with the life she was given despite the way things had to be

(peri and hazel understand each other the most, which is exactly why they wouldn't get along. i can imagine an interaction between them with hazel calling peri out, and him ignoring her)

when the cosma-fairywinkles reunite, cosmo and wanda's overbearingness after their reunion takes on a different light. it would be two parents trying to connect with the only child they have left when all he wants is for them to go away

(if cosmo and wanda tried to address timmy's bad influence in the past, it would be like pouring salt over a still-open wound. in peri's perspective, it's like they're trying to ruin timmy's image now that he's gone to so peri can get over him. it's kid logic. peri is too caught up in himself to remember that cosmo and wanda was with timmy first. they all love him. they all miss him)

peri had reinvented himself and has become someone else. someone cosmo and wanda might not like. he has run through every single reaction and still wasn't ready for immediate and unconditional acceptance. "i go by peri now!" and they don't even think to question it, they just love him like they always have. like they always will

and maybe it's in that moment that peri begins to think that his fears might have been for nothing

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

BNHA 420: Nothing About This is 'Okay'

It never fails.

After BNHA 420, I'm definitely done. The only thing that's stopping me from being OFFICIALLY done is the sunken cost fallacy. And some nostalgia in that I used to LOVE BNHA. I mean I still do, I love early BNHA, but the ending is really bad.

This last chapter pretty much did everything I feared. And I was just about to eat a slice of humble pie when it SEEMED like the author faked out the idea that Eri's Rewind would be utilized. But as it turns out... I WAS RIGHT! XD They used her after all.

For once I am not happy to be right. Because what went down was just so WRONG.

Because Eri almost seems GLAD to be used. And these so-called heroes are ENCOURAGING it. She literally mutilated herself just because she thought it would 'help' Deku and the others. This child hurt herself, a child way, way younger than the high-school aged 'heroes', hurt herself. And nobody's worried about it. Not even Aizawa! I don't count that look of shock as worry, otherwise he would have been a lot more upset with her.

But no, he just accepted what this little girl did to herself. No moral qualms about it whatsoever.

Using Eri no matter what was always going to be horrible, but the way it's been done is even more horrible than I could have ever imagined. And it has an extra horrible implication.

Hurt yourself to help people, and let that person hurt themself, even if they're SIX YEARS OLD because it's a 'rational' decision. That is such bullshit btw, how in the hell is that 'rational'? That's actually extremely concerning and yet nobody is even concerned, they just think it's a heroic act? My ass.

I'm still pissed that this little moeblob is truly an example of a perfect little victim who just seems innately good even though she really shouldn't be after everything she's been through. It makes ZERO sense and I really hate it.

I really don't like Eri or her role in this arc as many others are saying now, and I never have. People love to give me flak for it, but I don't care anymore. This is definitely the last straw for me and it just validated that my concerns were right all along.

An adorable little plot device that was always meant to be used for Deku and the heroes. Even though she was used by Overhaul, it apparently makes it 'okay' if the heroes use her because they're heroes. If anything, it not only makes them just as bad as Overhaul, it actually makes them WORSE than Overhaul.

Overhaul at least never pretended that what he was doing to Eri was okay, but the heroes are such hypocrites that they're using her too and calling it 'rational' and an act of heroism on her part. It's not.

And the worst part is the fandom seems to believe that this makes Eri 'so good' when no, it's deeply concerning for a child to do such a thing to herself. Her actions should NOT be praised, and I don't like the kid, but that doesn't mean I want to see her hurt herself!

It's not okay. None of this is okay. And I am once again, really not okay with this.

[multidimensionalguidance]

Dominant Archetype For 2024

Intuitive/Oracle Reading for all (12) sidereal signs

Services

I was able to find this beautiful and insightful deck with 80 different archetypes that represent the many facets of our unconscious, subconscious, and conscious mind. This is the dominant archetype you are currently and will continue on embodying for the remainder of the year. Enjoy <3

Aries

Prince Archetype

You're filled with romantic charm and potential for power. There's a need for being generous, fair, compassionate, and full of wisdom but it must be balanced. The shadow aspects of this archetype are manifested from a sense of entitlement, and using your position and power to your own interest regardless to needs nor impact on others.

There might be matters of love that you are sabotaging, own up to your self power and bring the change you deserve for yourself. Do not allow your old wounds and triggers to dictate your present or future decisions. You've been given the abilities to see beyond the superficial and understand where real power comes from.

Taurus

Goddess Archetype

This is the light feminine expressed through wisdom, nature, life force, and sensuality. You are fitting the energy of your ruling planet very well, but keep in mind that the shadow aspects manifest in extreme self indulgence, and exploitation of the female nature and form in some way.

Make sure you're putting all of this abundant energy towards becoming an active advocate of a cause that aids your self growth along with others. It is time to focus on developing within a community, just be wary of not using this to gain leverage or superiority over others.

Gemini

Victim Archetype

You might currently find yourself dominantly playing an archetype that prevents you from letting yourself be victimized or victimizing others, but it also implies the inability to receive positive feedback without playing the victim as well. You don't need sympathy nor pity from other in order to feel validated and seen. Your opinion is the only one that truly matters, find the strength behind it.

Keep in mind that everyone has this archetype, but the goal is to recognize it enough to stop inappropriate attitudes towards ourselves and act from a place of power. This card also speaks of not being able to maintain personal boundaries.

Avoid turning your pain into a joke all the time, its minimizing it and blocking you emotionally. Even if its helpful to laugh through the pain when needed, don't deny your emotions nor others.

Cancer

Midas/Miser Archetype

You are currently being a natural entrepreneur or having creative abilities that can turn into gold. This is a state of sharing your riches happily and enjoying abundance. The shadow comes from hoarding money, emotions, and having an obsessive fear of losing it. With this archetype wealth could be your best friend or worst enemy. What are you're willing to sacrifice for money?

It can be good to use your social abilities to become a jack of all trades, but be wary of the dangers behind only staying in shallow waters with all of your knowledge. Its not about cutting corners, specially when there's ulterior motives or hidden agendas.

Leo

The Hedonist Archetype

You are inspiring others with your creative energy to embrace the good things in life, and the joy of celebrating beauty in yourself. The shadow aspects are pursuing pleasure to a detrimental degree. It makes you indulge at the expenses of others. As if it was an insatiable appetite for life, good food, wine, sex, and sensuality.

Be mindful of not using your ability to identify aggressive/hostile tactics, hidden intentions, and humility to your advantage in certain situations. Do not succumb to taking what isn't your or bullying others when you're getting what you want. You can achieve your lifestyle goals without sacrificing your power to become codependent of others.

Virgo

The Trickster Archetype

There is a strong energy of transcending from conventional, uncomfortable, and painful predictable situations or behaviors. This helps you see situations outside of the box and give others creative alternatives. The shadow sides come in manipulating by not being honest with yourself and with others. Its your ability to find loopholes in situations and the compulsive need to move forward from anything negative as fast as possible.

It is also possible you're playing double agent due to divine intervention, meaning that you cannot or do not want to disclose what you know. Allow yourself to explore uncharted territory and situations that are simply out of your control.

Focus on your potential to see the sacred beauty and possibility in all things. Feed your inner child with hope, and not with pessimism or disbelief.

Libra

Rebel Archetype

You've been challenging authority to create a social change. It has been leading you to reject spiritual or governmental systems that are unable to serve nor satisfy your needs. The shadow side comes in rejecting all legitimate authority out of frustration, rebelling out peer pressure, or for outside validation.

There might be talents for creating and supporting life that are being positively appearing or conversely there might an abuse of authority arising. Pay attention to the current patterns in which you've had to rebel, and reflect on the underlying motivations.

Scorpio

Child: Nature Archetype

There are several expressions of our inner child, and for you the rest of the year will be all about friendship with animals and connecting with nature spirits very easily. There's a real toughness and ability to survive against all odds at this moment. You're respecting very heavily the seed of life that lays within all living and conscious creatures. The shadow side is hurting or abusing animals, people, or your environment.

You are or will be heavily tapping into your inner child and filling it with lots of magic and nurturing energy. Stay connected to your belief of knowing everything is possible, and be aware of any heavily pessimist, depressed, or distorted inner views.

Sagittarius

King Archetype

You are in a state of being completely aware, and choosing to take benevolent leadership in your life. Those who are around you or close to you are benefiting immensely from your charge. You give them a real sense of stability and control that comes from strong boundaries. The shadow aspect is an excessive feeling of entitlement and as if you deserve rulership without any restraint.

There will be plenty of meaningful learning and alchemizing that knowledge into long life wisdom. You have accepted with humility and devotion to simply become a learner of life and opening up to the lifelong journey. Don't allow arrogance limit your connection with others or keep you stuck from not knowing how translate knowledge into action.

Capricorn

Angel Archetype

You are helping those in need with no expectation of what you might receive back, and staying connected to divinity and angels at the moment. This is a state of being loving, nurturing in character, and being a sort of fairy godmother/godfather to those who are in need of some love and warm.

The shadow aspects come from acting falsely innocent/unaware to manipulate and mislead others, or falsely claiming to be in touch with angelic guidance.

It seems you're tapped into divinity from an inner child level, so your aura of innocence, purity, desire for redemption, or having a special connection with divinity is real and authentic. Cherish all of it while protecting your energy!

Aquarius

Rescuer Archetype

You are and will continue to provide strength, support to others in their moments of crisis, and truly acting out of love with no expectation of rewards. The shadow aspect is assuming that those you aid in their worst moments will reciprocate or keeping those you help in a constant state of need.

You are using your gift for mediating with fairness, strategy, and respect for all parties in different aspects of life, but be wary of doing this with ulterior motives or hidden agendas.

Pisces

Destroyer Archetype

You are releasing what is potentially destructive or preparing yourself for a complete new you, life, reality, etc. There is a deep call for a complete rebuild of yourself at the moment, and it can beneficial if you're letting go of self limiting beliefs.

The shadow aspect is becoming intoxicated with your power to create chaos/destruction and drowning those around you in the process. You need to become aware of your ability to notice when someone or something is draining you life force, and ensure that its not coming from you. You don't need to deplete others energy to survive, nor need to rely on codependency.

Think of the times when you've felt exhausted from interacting with others and the times where you've noticed others feeling this way after spending time around you. Are others taking too much? And how do you notice when you're doing it too?

[lovelyiida]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

TODOROKI X READER

SYNOPSIS: after all these years…

WARNINGS: implied fem reader, AGED UP! TODOROKI (28), swearing, slight-sexual themes, mentions of manipulation/mental abuse, crying, mentions of cheating, unhealthy consumption of alcohol, humiliation, angst, NO SPELL/GRAMMAR CHECK LOL

JOIN TAG-LIST

MASTERLIST

WORDS: 2.053k

today was the day you thought would never come. a day you thought would only be a figment of your worst dreams. a dream that would never dare phase through reality.

“what happened to when you used to love me?”

you loathed today.

the fear of I hate you, replaces I love you.

you sit across from your ex-lover, teary-eyed and tired. voice hoarse from the screaming argument the two of you just had. the rage and booming of voices became a still quietness, the stillness of acceptance, the stillness of grief.

the grief of losing love, seeing love die.

today, you saw love—die.

“was it me? was it my body? the way I act?”

you sit across from your ex-lover, distraught, trying to make sense of the situation unfolding. You got no response, being met with silence and an absent gaze.

you let out a shaky sigh, nose twitching as tears flooded your eyes.

“if you’re going to cheat on me, I deserve a fucking answer.”

a beat goes by, two beats, three beats, and another.

“No.”

No?

“there is nothing wrong with you, y/n.”

“so why did you cheat?”

silence…

“I…I don’t know.”

he doesn’t know.

“you don’t know?” you spat with venom, voice shaky, yet timid. the tears that brimmed against your eyes fell with one swift movement.

you hung your head low, quiet sobs turns into a broken, somber laughter.

You quickly slam your fists onto the table.

“I gave my everything to you!”

Todoroki looks at you, eyes filled with a dark void, unresponsive.

you didn't want to believe it in the beginning, you thought his little slip-ups were for a valid reason, from never picking up the phone, not answering your voicemails, coming home late into the night, and leaving early in the day.

the smells of her perfume, the hickeys on his chest. even though the two of you would regularly have sex, you never gave him hickeys...

"you sound delusional y/n," he said.

"why would I ever cheat on you? you're the only woman in my life," he said.

"I love you," he lied.

and maybe you were acting delusional, maybe it was just a figment of your imagination. Todoroki was a loving husband and an incredible father, he was also your best friend. nothing could have made you think otherwise.

but, love is blind.

the first time you caught him, you were visiting his agency, wanting to surprise him with some homemade lunch and some cookies the kids made.

your heels click-clacked onto the polished floors. a smile on your face as you greeted the staff with a respective bow.

today was supposed to be a good day.

Walking into the office area, you spot one of your close friends, Todoroki's comrade, and also a close friend, Iida. smiling his way you walk towards him, he turns your way with a smile but for some reason, his smile falters.

"y/n! I didn't know you'd be in today? why didn't you call?" he says, you detected a slight waiver in his words. tilting your head you scoff, "why would I need to call in to see my husband at his own agency, Iida?"

"no reason! it's just he's super busy with something right now so you might want to come back later--"

"listen, Iida, I just want to drop off some lunch me and the kids made for him. can I do that without you patronizing me? cut your old friend some slack, class president."

you begin to walk away until Iida takes grasp of your shoulder, "y/n!"

"yes?" you shout with irritance, Iida begins to stammer a little. "what is it?" you grow irritated with his antics.

"um, I just walked in to say–"

The both of you hear a door open, snapping your heads to the sound you see a woman walking out of your husband's office adjusting her clothes, and fixing her hair.

eyeing the girl down, you shrug Iida's hand off your shoulder and storm into his office. "hang in there, y/n!" he yells.

walking into your husband's office you see him adjust his tie, "who the hell was that, Shoto?" your voice catches Todoroki off guard. But not enough for him to show it.

"what're you doing here? I thought you took off work to be with the kids?" he says. "I was...me and the kids made lunch for you." you throw the bento box onto his desk, "don't bother coming home tonight."

you start to walk out until Todoroki grips your waist and slams you into the door, slamming it shut. you try to struggle out of his grasp, but he was stronger than you by a landslide.

"stop fighting me, y/n"

"let go of me, you bastard." you curse under your breath as your eyes begin to water, Todoroki leans down and plants a soft kiss on your lips.

you were so mad at him, so angry, yet you melted into his touch.

kissing him back, you tangle your fingers into his red-white locks. Todoroki lifts your legs up around his waist, walking over he softly sets you on top of his desk. Deepening the kiss, you let out a moan.

Todoroki starts to kiss your neck, throwing your head back, you allow him more access. opening your legs wider you feel his bulge grind against your entrance, he groans at the feeling.

before you could let things get any further, you push him away from you. breathing heavily, you stare at him, his eyes seem darker than usual. "who is she?" you spat. Todoroki lets out a displeased sigh, "she's no one you need to worry about--"

"who. is. she." you angrily whispered.

rubbing his face, he backs up from your figure, hands still wrapped around your waist. "she's an intern, transferring from Midoriya's agency. she... doesn't like the position she's currently stationed at. so she walked into my office and began to strip and flung herself onto me."

you curl your lips into a thin line as your eyes water, "but, I stopped her as soon as she started it. and I fired her, blacklisting her from any other UA-affiliated agencies."

you let out a relieved sigh, smashing your lips into his, you smile. being thankful you had such a wonderful, loyal, husband.

"I love you, Shoto."

you loved him...

Then, these little appearances between him and "interns," were more frequent than you thought.

you and Todoroki attended a yearly banquet for all of the UA hero course alumni, tonight you were able to catch up with so many of your old friends, it felt like old times back when you were a teenager.

"you and todoroki have been a thing for how long, now?"

"8 years! our fifth-year wedding anniversary will be in October, actually." people could tell by the way you gushed whenever you talked about your husband and kids. they were your pride and joy, obviously.

"wow, that's amazing y/n, y'know maybe if Mina would stop partying around like a drunk pansy, we would actually be able to settle down and have some kids." you laugh at Kirishima's complaint.

"you, Mina, and the words 'have some kids,' don't quite match, sadly" you laughed.

Kirishima chuckles, turning his head he frowns. "oh god, here comes this narc." turning your head you scoff at the sight before you, "oh, Monoma!' you "happily" shout.

Monoma walks over, trapping his arm around Kirishima, he slurs over his words. "look what we have here, more shitty 1-A students."

he's obviously drunk.

"how've you been Monoma?" you smile.

"I've just been busy being successful, having the 5th-ranked best hero agency in the country. having multiple successful businesses, and I'll be putting out a book soon. can't say I haven't been blessed."

Kirishima rolls his eyes, "you'd think with all those 'blessings' you'd be blessed with a better personality." you can't help but let out a quiet chuckle.

"and you'd think after all these years, you'd be more successful than me. all you have to your name is a sidekick title and a failing marriage, too bad though." Monoma gulps the rest of the wine, letting out a burp he blows it into Kirishima's face.

"oh, fuck you!" Kirishima pushes Monoma off him in anger, slamming him into the floor. you could see his spikes start to ripple off his skin. You lay a hand on Kirishima's back and frown, trying to console him.

"y'know what Monoma, I think you need some water," you say.

Monoma, looks into your eyes and shows a sinister smile. Stumbling back up he walks towards you. pointing his finger in your face, you scowl.

"do you know what you need?" he chuckles.

"hm?" you anticipate his answer, sipping slowly from your glass of wine.

"you need to figure out that your husband has been sleeping around with my secretary and all the interns in the fucking city." he laughs loudly, your eyes widen in shock.

"excuse me?"

"not fucking cool bro!" Kirishima yells.

"oh please, stop with the act, you know too! everyone knows! and you would know too y/n, only if you weren't so busy playing mommy-maid you'd figure it out!"

You didn't know what to say, honestly. Your eyes water, "everyone knows this?" you look at Kirishima. He frowns, giving you all the answers you needed.

"sorry you had to learn about it this way, I'm the last person who wanted you to figure it out like this--"

Monoma's mantra was cut short with a sharp splash of white wine (and the glass) to the face.

"go to hell!" you screamed.

so you were right all along...

all eyes shoot towards the three of you, Kirishima looks around and tries to calm you down. but you turn into a cursing frenzy, some of your classmates came to your aid.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"are you alright?"

denki, mina, shoji, and ojiro come towards you. circling around and shielding you from the other's gaze.

"I thought you guys were my friends!" you cried, dropping to your knees you cry harder.

"we are your friends! what would make you think otherwise?" Ojiro asks.

"she knows..." Kirishima adds.

everyone backs up from your figure, looking around frantically. Mina speeds off to find Todoroki.

to summarize, you were oblivious to the cheating.

it was already embarrassing enough that some sponsors recorded the interaction and posted it on the internet.

After that night, things changed forever.

You moved out of the house, taking the kids with you. You resined your position with your agency and started to stay at home with your kids permanently, at least until your funds couldn't support that option anymore.

Todoroki was never at home anymore, he was always out. Either out patrolling, sleeping around, or getting drunk.

and here you are today, sitting across from your ex-husband, finalizing your divorce.

"I gave you my heart, my soul, my body, two beautiful children..."

"I gave you something you never had, I gave you love."

you sat, with your head down, licking the inside of your cheek. you let out an exasperated sob before quickly composing yourself once more.

"I gave you a family"

Todoroki's eyes shed a single tear.

"I-I'm so sorry, please forgive me...please y/n"

shaking your head, cry even harder.

"a-and to even think...to even think that I would be with you forever. to be at fault for thinking we would grow old together, to be at fault for thinking we would both finally have a healthy family, to be at fault for thinking that I was happy!"

Todoroki cries harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" falling onto his needs and crawling over to your legs, bowing his head down he rubs his hands together, begging for forgiveness.

You look down at him in disgust, you feel bad for him, you shouldn't, but you do. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you get up from your seat.

"get up."

Todoroki scrambles and gathers himself to his feet.

Gazing up at his eyes, one icy and one golden, your lips tremble.

Leaning into him, you rest your hands on his face. Todoroki slips his hands onto your waist.

"please..." he trembles.

lifting his hair from his head, you plant a soft kiss on his forehead. Softly, you push yourself away from his embrace. Digging into your purse you pull out the final documents for your divorce.

Looking at the calendar you read the date, October 22nd...

"happy anniversary."

kinda ass I KNOW… this was one of my older works before I started to write better, so I might go back and fix this up if I might make a whole new version, tell if I should down below PLEASE!

I know I said I would update more, but life got to me. Almost at 1k followers tho! Fuck it we ball.

nah because past me ate with his one y'all!!!

⎯ lovelyiida ♥︎

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[codenamesazanka]

What do you fear the most that mhas epilogue will do and make sure to list your other fears too

Oh god.

I think my biggest fear is Deku going to visit Spinner, and Spinner will validate his ignorant, arrogant, unheroic ass. Whether it's 'Thank you for trying to save Shigaraki' or 'Sorry Tenko stayed being Shigaraki for me and the League instead of giving in to you' or 'Wow, you really are the true hero Stain saw' or 'I see that Shigaraki has entrusted his will on you, so I will cheer you on from now on'.

Of course, a Spinner who validates Deku and essentially surrenders to the Heroes' way of doing things is only a symptom of a much bigger problem that is "Silly League of Villains, Heroes were right all along, save for some tiny mistakes, and now it's time to repent and assimilate" - an overall epilogue where nothing actually changes except some people learn to feel pity and vows to be nicer. So I guess that's my true, core fear. But it's manifesting in Spinner turning into a Deku groupie. Yeah, why not befriend the guy who killed your actual friend and believe in his way of doing things that got your friend killed.

-

Another Spinner fear I have is actually Spinner becoming a 'true' spokesman for the Heteromorphs - less because he doesn't deserve it, more because it's likely that it means his 'stance' has gone to Shouji level and he's telling everyone to not be like him and instead work harder to brave being sprayed by pesticides and endure bullying. So, fear of Spinner being tokenized (again) and becoming a Shoji-like kind of Heteromorph advocate.

Like, I've always thought Spinner's 'fix' was that he should be allowed to be entirely mediocre and be treated right. Put another way, he's not obligated to be exceptional in order to deserve basic decency/proper treatment. Even the worst, most selfish, resentful, weak-quirk, intelligence D, League of Legends gamer loser you know shouldn't be subjected to fantasy racism, because no one should. If he's an advocate, he's an advocate for the losers of the heteromorphs - the weaklings, the delinquents, the criminals? But that's not a very inspiring message! Instead, Heteromorphs should shine bright - and that's the message the manga and Shouji is giving.

Also like, there's no way the new powers that be will let him near a microphone without being declawed - last time he did so, he literally started a riot. There's no way they let him talk about his true feelings - that he was empty; that with the hundreds of Heroes on TV, none gave him hope for change; that it took a most outcasts-of-outcasts Villain team for him to ever feel accepted.

Spinner being an 'advocate' I think would be more him being a cautionary tale - "don't be like me, I'm a Villain and I'm stuck in Tartarus 2.0 for life; you can fight for your rights but not like I did!" He deserves better than that. Heteromorphs deserve better than that.

My other fears

Shigaraki stays dead

Shigaraki comes back but as five-year-old Tenko, so that Heroes can 'raise him properly' to be a Hero

We learn Toga died

We learn Dabi died but Endeavor lived

We never see the MLA ever again

We don't get more Compress backstory

Moonfish gets executed

Gran Torino doesn't die

Hawks being relevant

Hawks still facing no satisfying consequences for killing Twice

Twice being remembered by no one except his killer who's still vaguely mournful about his death but it was for the greater good, he really did think Bubaigawara was a decent guy

HPSC revived

No mention of anything being done about the HATE CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN in the countryside. Shoji's 'let's shine bright' was it.

Quirk Counseling not completely revised

Aizawa and Mic still basically cursing out Shigaraki for stealing Shirakumo from them and not realizing Kurogiri/Shirakumo genuinely cared about the kid

No one bringing up how fucked up Iron Maidens and Tartarus is.

Tartarus 2.0 is back and everything is exactly the same but the wardens are nicer because they went through sensitivity training

That ending where the manga fast toward 12 years and everyone is in extremely heterosexual marriages with children. Part of this means teenaged Kouta and Eri are hinted to be crushing on each other or something. god.

[zivazivc]

im too scared to ask because of the answer but is Hed and Les relationship ok?

(you should be scared)

They love each other unconditionally and are closer than most siblings, and I want to answer with a definite yes, but it’s more of a soft yes.

They’d die for each other and would never want to cause each other any harm, but they both hold very deep-rooted and painful resentment toward each other. This anger, while valid on its own, feels unjustifiable and selfish to both brothers, and is why they have a hard time addressing it. It only starts to get resolved later (for now I’m aiming at the time frame after Floyd leaves the band and before Les runs into him again, which is Hed’s late twenties and Les’s early thirties) when Les finally opens up to Hed about things that happened during their early childhood in the Rock Kingdom, which Hed was too young to comprehend or remember, and this revelation puts a lot of things into perspective for Hed and is extremely cathartic for both of them.

Like I’ve mentioned, Les didn’t talk to Hed about his trauma, (they are four years apart which is a big gap when you’re a kid), and Hed could never fully understand why Les had taken him with him to the Funk Kingdom. It’s a question he never receives an honest answer to, and it’s something he (although unwillingly/with doubt) resents him for since he had a difficult childhood in Vibe City as the only tiny Rock Troll who always got othered and excluded, even bullied.

There is also the related issue where Hed doesn’t understand why his brother is so troubled and disconnected, because he’s under the impression that they’ve more or less been in the same boat all their lives. That it’s always been them against the world. He even thinks Les had it better than him since he is half Funk and sticks out less like a sore thumb among a Funk society than Hed does…

I realize I’ve never addressed this directly, even though I figure some of you probably assume it already, but Les is a deeply depressed character and has been like this since he was very young (similar to Branch, although it’s expressed differently), and he has occasional episodes where he spirals and even becomes suicidal. The first time it happened and he tried to go through with it, Hed was only 8-10 years old, and the fact that his big brother was willing to end it all and leave him alone shook Hed’s entire world. The incident filled him with such intense fear and hurt that he cannot find it in him to forgive his brother for it no matter how much he wants to. He also developed anxiety surrounding Les’s mental state and is terrified of letting him out of his sight for longer periods for fear of losing him.

Les’s resentment towards Hed stems mostly from jealousy and not knowing where to direct his own hurt, and he hates himself for these feelings because none of it is Hed’s fault. — Hed is/was both of their dads’ favorite son, and as far as Les is convinced, he was their mom’s favorite too. He dodged all the worst abuse Les experienced under Butch, Butch even flaunted Hed as his son just to put Les down, and as a little kid Les pretty much hated his baby brother for it. Hed was always seen as the “better” brother even though Hed was a loud brat compared to Les. But it didn’t take long for him to grow on Ish and his roommates while there was always tension between Les and his dad (due to Les already being deeply messed up by the time they got to Ish). Hed in general is a charismatic social butterfly who knows how to get on trolls’ good side. He vibes with both Rock and Funk Trolls, and clicks with most music and trolls in general, while Les struggles with social interactions that aren’t work related and often comes off awkward, especially as a teenager, he’s more casual in his twenties and onward, though still very much closed off.

Hed is also very smart (academically, in regards to reading the room he is a dumbass), he always kept up with school, which he was allowed to attend without question, there was even early talk about uni, while Les never even got to finish elementary school because of his poor performance and him getting expelled over an incident, and was forced to start working early.

Hed also (because of his small size) was often let off the hook when he’d get into trouble/do something stupid. He was babied (word used loosely) by Ish and their uncles a lot in general. If Hed broke something, he’d get yelled at while Les would have to fix it or pay for it out of his pocket. 

They lived under two completely different sets of rules all their lives and Les festered a lot of hurt from the unfairness of it.

Les’s resentment wanes over time. Floyd is the one who helps him find release for a lot of his bottled up pain during their time together. Floyd is basically the first person Les confides in about nearly everything he was put through, and he encourages Les to talk to Hed about it. Which he does after a few years, and Hed learning about what his brother was put through as a little kid is what allows him to finally understand and forgive his brother…

[inkher0]

How does Ticcimask work in your story? I don't know if you've talked about it before, or if you're tired of this question, I just wanted to ask due to how there are so many conflicting depictions of the ship.

Depends on what you mean? If you're referring to their ages, Origin is about Tim as a teenager. It'd be weird if it was Marble Hornets, Red Flannel Tim dating 15 year old Toby (STARES LOUDLY), but this is a prequel to MH, and they're roughly the same age. The love-hate dynamic that people associate with Ticcimask works better when they're the same age, imho, and that's always been how I've seen the ship. They're rivals to each other, rather than an adult bullying a child because he's Kind Of Annoying (and mentally disabled, which. Yikes).

In Origin, they're both obsessed with each other, but for completely different reasons, and those reasons change over the narrative as their ideologies shift.

In Tim's eyes, Toby is this captivating, all consuming flame. Toby doesn't languish over what's right and wrong, what makes him a "good boy" or a "bad boy"- he does as he pleases, and demands everyone witness it. He spits in The Operator's face and openly questions the nature of their rearing and their orders, even though that hurts his standing. Though that usually pisses him off, he can't help but find it a bit admirable. Toby is very compelling to Tim, in all aspects, and he can't help but want him around even though he finds him so antagonistic. Toby understands Tim's anger at the world, and- most importantly- he validates it through his actions and reactions. At the same time, though, he challenges Tim intellectually, which very few people do. Kate tells him "don't do bad things", but Toby asks him "why?"

When it comes to how Toby sees Tim... I fear saying too much. I kind of want it to be something you interpret yourself. But I'll say that for however intense Tim views Toby, Toby views Tim three times as intensely. Like, don't ever read Toby's mind when he's thinking about Tim, you will feel compelled to Call Someone (therapist, doctor, a priest, or all three). It's very hard to describe how Toby sees Tim without using some very heavy-handed biblical imagery, because from the start, Toby has seen Tim through the lens of believing The Operator is God. You can infer from there how he might see Tim- sometimes as a messiah, sometimes as Satan, and sometimes as both simultaneously. He wants to be close to that light, but he knows in his gut that there's something deeply Wrong about it.

Despite how they are obviously Aware of each other's dangerous faults and how badly things could go, they still choose to rely on each other. Simply because that, despite everything I said above, they get along horrifically well. When they agree on something, that thing is done with brutal efficiency. They are The Operator's Boys, and they're both his Best of The Best. They complete each other in the worst possible way- they're dangerous for each other, but deadly for everyone else. If things go according to The Operator's plan, they will be exactly as Toby fantasizes: Literal Kings, sitting atop a throne of bodies and ruling the humans on Earth like apex predators.

The thing is... is that really what they want? And are they willing to do what it takes to achieve that?

[you-matter-dear]

If you have felt chronically invalidated or don't trust your own decision making skills and want to feel more confident in your own abilities, I would suggest trying some or all of these things;

Find someone you trust and respect to be your sounding board. NOT the person/people who make you feel small and incompetent! The point is to teach your mind and nervous system that your invalidator doesn't have some sort of secret higher knowledge nor a monopoly on logical thinking.

Sit with your decision privately for a while. Don't ask others opinions, don't look for outside validation, don't give yourself the opportunity to be immediately discouraged by the invalidating person/people. Sit with yourself in your quiet moments. Wonder about what that decision might look like and how you might feel after. What do you want? Will it make you happy? Will it make your life better, even a little?

Try recognizing the small, safe decisions you make that end up going right. You tried a new sandwich place and it ended up being really good. You took a chance on that book and you learned a lot. You took a different route to get to work and saw a cool house. You make a TON of decisions every day--there are plenty you have already made that were a good idea!

When you're ready for outside input, start with your trusted source or other supportive environments. Tell someone you trust to not immediately shut you down or dismiss you--a therapist, an online friend, a respected community leader, a kind relative, or even that friendly barista you chat with. Give someone a chance to respond with enthusiasm, thoughtfulness, and reciprocation. There are people who will delight in your successes and support your ideas. Find them in your life!

No self defeating language!! No 'i probably can't do it', no 'but I'm not good at that', no 'i always fail'. Talk about how you feel, not defining reality before it even happens. 'I'm really worried I won't meet my own expectations' or 'in the past, this has been really hard for me'. This opens the door to solutions, support, and reflection with the people you're talking to. It invites them into a conversation about times when they didn't feel confident or let's them suggest things that have helped them in similar situations in the past! You open a dialogue for yourself instead of entrenching yourself in old stories that might not even be true. Don't stop yourself before you even start.

Pay attention how much YOU notice/don't notice other people in public. Chances are, you are sensitive about feeling judged or silly. You might think that that cashier is rolling their eyes at you, that guy that looked up when you walked in is annoyed you're here. Pay attention to how much YOU think about random strangers. That janitor you saw the other day: do you remember their shoes/hat/nails/etc.? Are you studying and judging the people walking by you on the street? As a general rule, other random people in public are paying about as much attention to you as you are to them. Everyone has stressful lives, a list of things to do, and songs stuck in their own heads. (This is barring things like transphobia, racism, sexism, and other micro/macroaggressions, of course. I acknowledge that this is not a privilege granted to everyone.)

Ask yourself 'what is, realistically, the absolute worst that can happen from this decision?' Especially if the decision is fairly low stakes and non-permanent, like getting a daring haircut or color, trying those new, loud earrings, trying to grow/shave your facial/head/body hair. I find it useful to follow up fearful thoughts with, 'okay, and then what?' (ex. "What if it looks terrible?"-- "Okay, then what?"-- "I'll be embarrassed and people will think I look weird!"-- "Okay, then what?" --"They might stare at me or make a mean comment!"-- "Okay, then what?" "I'll feel bad!"-- "Okay, then what?" Your hair will grow back, people whose opinions you care about won't be cruel and life will move on.)

THEN ask yourself; 'What could go right?' Balance! If you're spiralling or panicking with 'what ifs', try to make the opposite just as proportional and realistic. Even if it's hard to envision yourself succeeding, if your brain says something like; 'I could fail and then lose all my friends and I'll die alone!!' you can always make sure to counter with 'or I could succeed SO well that someone falls in love with me on the spot and I get a million bucks and move to my own private island'. Illustrate how ridiculous both sides of the spectrum are! Put into perspective the likelihood each of these scenarios.

Remember, no one else is you. Other people have knowledge of what worked for them, ideas and world views they are operating on that they will be convinced is the ONLY and BEST way. They. Are not. You. They can advise and suggest and caution, but only YOU can live your life. You will be affected. You know what works and what doesn't (or you can learn). You are the only one you spend every moment of every day with. You are your own closest companion. There is no one who knows more about you than YOU. Other people may have different insights and observations that may help you know yourself better, but they can ALSO have false, ill fitting narratives that have more to do with their trauma or internal story than they actually do with you. Question the stories given to you about yourself. Question when someone defines you, labels you as something that just feels bad--lazy, sloppy, loud, annoying, ditzy. Something in you just balked at that story. Find out why!

Accept that you might not be able to convince/change your invalidator. Look. This person or people might well be someone you love dearly, live with, or has some sort of power over you. You might not want or be able to cut contact. They may be unpredictable, sick, struggling with their own stress, from a completely different culture/mindset/generation. They may even acknowledge that this is something they need to work on but then never do. The only thing you can be certain to have control over changing is yourself. You cannot wait for them to decide that it's important enough to change their behavior because they haven't so far. You don't need to harbor anger or resentment in this process of healing (though, if you do, that's perfectly valid and normal). You don't need to feel like you're gearing up for a confrontation with them. It doesn't need to be about them. This is about you trusting yourself. It's about you living the life that settles you, fills you, grounds you. It's about getting to a place of being comfortable with uncertainty and expansion. You deserve to grow, heal, and change. It's not about them. This isn't about them.

Feel confident in your decision before you tell your invalidator. When you have a network of trusted sounding boards, go to them, talk out the pros and cons, the logistics and your worries. Talk through the logic of it so you know your plan and you feel comfortable (or as comfortable as you can) with your decision. If it's something your invalidator needs to know, make sure you aren't looking for their approval; you're telling them your decision. Be unassailable. Feel calm and confident. Be at a point in your decision that even their worst, most invalidating or dismissive reaction will not sway your resolve.

[pseudowho]

so there’s this guy. or there was this guy. i used to have a crush on him for the longest time but i thought my friend liked him and that he liked her so i repressed my feelings which was fine. but he asked me friend out and she turned him down and apparently she’d never liked him and she was really confused because she thought he liked ME. really weird situation but this is a long winded way of saying that a few months later me and the guy got really close and i asked him out. yay!! and then and then we dated for like around 6 months maybe and then we broke up. or more like i broke up with him. i said i’d lost feelings but honestly now tjay i think about it im not sure. did i lose feelings?? i don’t know. it was also getting serious and i think that scared me a little bit. so maybe i didn’t lose feelings i was just scared of commitment? this was all like 3 years ago. i still think about him. i haven’t been in like a serious relationship since. and i’m thinking about him A LOT more lately. some of my friends think i should text him because they think we were great together and i just screwed it up. but i don’t know. i miss him sometimes. i think? i’m never sure how i feel about him except that i think about him. sometimes i’m scared that no one’s ever going to love me as much again. he loved me a lot. i think it used to scare me how much he loved me. sometimes i feel like no one else will ever love me and he was my only chance and i lost it. i feel like no one ever really likes me anyway, like i’m no one’s type. no one would see me and be like omg she’s cute or hot or have a little crush on me or whatever. but at the same time i don’t want to reach out to him just because im insecure and lonely lol. i think that’s unfair to both of us. but also maybe i am insecure and lonely but that doesn’t mean i don’t like him or miss him? i don’t know.

Stop thinking that you're unlikeable, or undesirable, or not anyone's type, for starters. I hands down guarantee that you're wrong, there is a societal hyperfixation currently on 'being attractive' and I am yet to find much of the rhetoric surrounding it to be in any way pertinent to how attraction works in real life.

Listen, I relate very hard to this particular one, because when I was 15/16, I broke up with @mrhaitch because he was so serious and I was afraid of how much he loved me.

I think you were right in listening to yourself; if it felt overwhelming, that's completely valid. A serious relationship can be a heavy weight to carry at any age, and although I don't know how old you are, you sound fairly young, and it might not have been the right time for you then.a

That doesn't mean it's not the right time now. Ultimately if you wanted to give things another shot, if he's single and you think you'd otherwise be on good terms, there's no harm in reaching out. The worst thing he can say is 'no thanks', frankly.

And I also thought I was nobody else's type. Very very sincerely. I still think that way about myself. Other people do not perceive you, as you perceived yourself. I assure you that of the couples I look after, the amount of them who express surprise over even being in a relationship with someone who is into them is high.

I agree that loneliness and "he's the only guy who ever liked me" aren't good reasons alone to pursue him. But if you really liked this guy, and think you still might, then you don't know until you try.

Do not be paralysed by the fear of failure or rejection. You will stagnate. Rejection does not confirm your fear that you are unlovable; if confirms that you haven't found the right one to love, but you won't be left with the lingering 'what if?'

Alright?

Love, as always,

-- Haitch xxx

[quodekash]

QUICK, GUYNAWA ARE HAVING A TENDER MOMENT, I NEED TO KEEP GOING

I love their flirting love language <3

the way he looks at him

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM

yes, im crying because of them

oh that is so infuriating

they were facing the wrong way

I love these idiots so much but maybe if they'd seen the shooting star, they couldve had a magical moment and then kissed or something, idk

but no, they're such idiots that they didnt think to look in the other direction

I love them, but its infuriating sometimes

OKAY BUT GIVE US THE WHOLE STORY

THERES SO MANY GAPS

literally all we know about this so far:

1. evil boss guy wanted name to do one last thing for him before he could quit (presumably to rob the house)

2. name asked saifah for some help with some things he had to do

3. according to that one news report, a robbery probably happened?

4. saifah shot kong

5. name had "no idea saifah would do something like that"

so much is missing. what's the whole story here? I still believe that saifah is innocent. he might've accidentally shot him or something, I dont know

yeah, okay

but name is involved in the plot somehow

answer my questions bitch

okay, I love you saifah, but telling him to forget about you is really freaking selfish

it may seem self-sacrificing, like "he'll be happier without me on his plate" but it's not. it's downright selfish.

there are things at play here that you're not thinking about, and other things you're not aware of

such as, you dont know that sailom is now kind of hopeless. because of what you supposedly did, kang now hates sailom, so sailom can't tutor him, so sailom can't get the money to pay off yours and his debts.

as for the things you're not thinking off?

you forget, your parents are both dead. you are his only family left. he is your only family left. he wants to understand the situation so that he can get help for you to get out, so that he isn't utterly alone, and so that you can get out of the terrible environment that is jail. he can't just forget about you, because you are all he has.

and this is both not thinking of and not aware of, sailom doesn't like to accept help from people for free. he doesnt have kang's financial support anymore. and his friends are offering help, but he has no way to pay them back for that help, so he wont accept it. but he wants you back, deemed innocent, so that he can get his boyfriend back, his job back, his happiness back. he can't just forget about you. he needs you.

now anSWER MY QUESTIONS BITCH, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

HE CAN'T, THAT'S THE THING, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

IM GONNA REITERATE WHAT I SAID IN EPISODE FOUR: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A SEX WORKER, AN ESCORT, ANYTHING IN THAT LINE OF WORK

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT SAILOM IS STILL A CHILD IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THAT'S A FULL-ASS GROWN MAN ABOVE THE AGE OF 40

IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS AND UNCOMFORTABLE

THAT IS ALL, THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

AND ONCE AGAIN, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEX WORK, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH A 40+ YEAR OLD MAN HOLDING A DRUGGED UNCONSCIOUS BOY AND SMILING LIKE THAT

thank goodness for that

CRAP THIS IS BAD AH FRICK

IM NOT TAKING SCREENSHOTS OF THIS PART I REFUSE

OH CRAP KANG PLS ARRIVE AND PUNCH HIM

AAAAA FRICK FRICK FRICK PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM PUNCH HIM

OHTHANKGOODNESS THANK YOU KANG

I had to go through that entire scene without saying anything but man the line "to me you're nothing but money" really hit hard

I sat there for like 2 whole minutes not wanting to press play after that line because it was just validating all of kang's worst fears about how sailom values him

I am not even remotely okay

I hate the writers so much for this

on the bright side, they didnt do a soundwin and give us absolutely zero guynawa in episode 10 so I appreciate that

but uh. now im sad.

THE FREAKING FLASHBACKS THIS EPISODE HAVE BEEN THE WORST THEYVE EVER BEEN

THEY WERE MEANINGFUL FLASHBACKS

SHORT SNIPPETS OF THEIR PROGRESSION AND THE THINGS THEYVE GONE THROUGH

okay well that was. truly something.

this episode took me nearly 4 hours to watch which is a new personal record and im not sure if I should be proud of that or if I should start crying about how exhausted im going to be tomorrow

Im excited for next week and for this mess to be cleared up at least a little bit, but im also not excited for next week because itll be the second last episode and im not ready for this series to be over yet

anyway, have a good week folks. uh. yeah. keep calm and love guynawa way too much

[re-re-redline]

On The Subject of His Flaws

—Minor? Spoilers for Traum—

Foreword: Hey, hey! I’ve been a wee bit busier doing work and prepping for a certain something that’s happening soon, so… As compensation for waiting, I’ve pulled an excerpt—a more organized and less repetitive little set—from my internal character bible on Constantine. It’s not done—not that it needs to be since the dimensions of a person are so many in number that’d it be impossible to write them all, so it’s pointless, in my mind, to shoot that as my objective—nevertheless, it does have some good juicy tidbits that I haven’t explored yet in my headcanons. So I do hope this’ll get your noggin joggin.

The tone of this is less like my usual ‘self insert’ type of deal since the purpose of the document was to cement my interpretation of Constantine based on what I know of him and to draw conclusions for my later consideration in writing your unscheduled programming. Thanks to that I’ll be omitting the X Reader tag on this one but keep the headcanon tags.

That being said, I do hope you enjoy this peek into something I haven’t discussed yet.

What does Constantine think is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person? For others, his loved ones, it is death. Death is the end all be all of the worst a human can experience in Constantine’s eyes. Death is the end to a story and most of the time it is abrupt and unsatisfactory for the victim as many utter as their last regret “I had so much left to do.” The ripple effects of death are also included in this. Experiencing the death of someone is a horrible experience; Constantine would know, he lost some of his younger siblings to plague, his wives to disease, his older brother and father to old age and nearly lost his dear friend to the enemy twice over. Now, if you were to ask the man himself what the worst thing that could happen to him is, and he was forced to answer honestly, then he would say… Solitude. With the deaths he had been witness to, Constantine felt his small world get emptier and emptier as time went on and he began to wonder: “Will I die alone?” And that thought chilled him to the bone, leaving a lasting fear of being left behind all to his lonesome in the world.

Yes, indeed, Constantine XI’s biggest fear in life and after death is being alone. Love, affection, validation, joy, humor… Can one really have all of that if they’re alone? If their loved ones have perished, can someone really be happy? For our man here, the answer is no. 

Love and affection are to be given to others and the act of giving along with viewing the reactions of the receiver brings joy to oneself. It is because of this that only loving oneself makes one feel hollow. It will coldly and callously remind you that you must be a lonely little thing to only give love to yourself and to only find joy in your own feelings.

The very definition of validation includes other people. How can one reaffirm their own feelings if it was one’s doubts that brought the issue to the table in the first place? You can only hold yourself up with your own means for so long and eventually you’ll need someone else to aid you. That is validation.

Joy can be found anywhere and in all things, even in solitude, so perhaps this is the weakest point… But much like with love, is not better to be joyful with friends?

Constantine’s altruistic end goal does not only stem from a desire to do good and to be good, but also from his biggest fear: being alone. Such is the definitive root of where his flaws come from. This other half—this rather self concerning half of himself, gives this altruism an ironically selfish tint and it most often leads to issues.

The issues in question are him potentially going overboard when protecting his loved ones and him thinking he knows what’s best for you and stubbornly enforcing what he thinks will help you. 

This shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone who read all 21k words of a certain hypothetical from a bit ago, but Constantine is wholly capable of, and to extent willing to, cross several lines to reach his end goal in life: protecting his loved ones. There is nothing he could not or would not give—especially of and from himself—in service of this goal. Not even his pride, something that was mostly beaten out of him in the later decades of his life. Constantine would gladly tar and feather himself for all to see if it meant his loved ones would survive longer than him at the very least.

This begs the question, just how far will he go?

Much farther than you think, but I should note first that it’s not like he’s going to spontaneously snap one day and start murdering people at the drop of a hat. Like with all things Constantine, it’s slow. A slow and gradual descent into the dark, dark area of himself that he himself is barely aware of but has the potential to morph into something terrible if given the right circumstances. That something that I’ve mentioned only once in a throwaway line in the Romance Headcanons, but not by name. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

When pushed far enough, Constantine can and will commit horrible acts for the sake of his end goal. It’s practically an inevitability given how strongly he feels about death and his fear of being alone. His pride—as previously stated—was mostly beaten out of him in life, so his morality is next on the chopping block if the situation is not resolved one way or another. But his morality, his principals, conscience and sense of justice will not go down without a fight as they are one of his strongest characteristics. The fact that he stayed in Constantinople until the end instead of evacuating his family and George to the Morea is proof of this and it’ll do a damn good job of holding the darkness at bay for a good while. This is what separates him from an equally desperate victim of the Ottoman Empire, Vlad III.

Vlad’s absolute hatred of the Ottomans and his desire to liberate his people muddied his morality into a hazy blob that shifts according to the narrative, at least in matters concerning his nemesis. Nothing is sacred nor atrocious when it comes to damaging the Ottoman Empire, his circular reasoning further fueling this idea. The Ottomans are evil and evil must be purged to keep his people safe and in order to keep his people safe he has to kill the Ottomans because they are evil and—you get the point. Vlad’s conscience and morals bend whichever way the wind blows and his justice used as a weapon to fulfill his—arguably—selfish desires. Such things do not describe Constantine even in the slightest. His morals, principals, conscience and sense of justice stand together to act as restraints to keep Constantine from acting in ways he knows he’ll come to regret when the dust settles. Constantine’s end goal may be for his loved ones to survive but it’s not like his vision is completely tunneled in this regard. No, he’s empathetic and deeply so, just look at how his relationship with Johanna came to be in Traum. He feels pain when he has to rip someone to shreds for someone else’s sake despite being well acquainted with killing others, he just doesn’t show it since his position of power and his imperial pride—what little of it remains—doesn’t allow for such ‘worthless’ sentiments.

But the topic isn’t about how strong his morals are, we’re here to talk about what happens when even they are overridden by Constantine’s fear of being alone and his strong feelings towards death. So let’s discuss that.

Much like with Vlad, Constantine’s morals and principals will be warped to suit his end goal and the way he reconciles with this shift is by doing the same thing he always does. Deny it, but not in the way he’s been denying things up until this point. He’s not denying the existence of the pain in his heart, no, the bleakness and duration of the situation that has been slowly grinding his sanity down to a powder has forced him to graduate to a much more severe form of denial. Which is denying the truth, the truth that he’s well on his way to becoming a monster and his actions from this point on are undoubtedly evil.

…Which he isn’t, of course. Constantine isn’t evil nor a monster, he’s just committing these actions because his hands were forced, there is no wrongdoing in that. There’s nothing unjust or evil about surviving and protecting who you love, even if you sacrifice everyone else to do so. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that. There is

That’s the new narrative at play here. A complete denial of the horror of his actions and a million excuses as to how and why he’s still the morally good man he thinks he is. Worse yet, there isn’t anything anyone can do to stop this mindset change. It’s inevitable given the situation and something to note, is that the people closest to his heart will now notice the cracks forming in his veneer. Small signs that something isn’t right with Constantine, but they’re small enough to not warrant a red flag just yet in their eyes. He’s not that far gone in this phase.

Everything else that comes after are things that I need to deliberate on more, so I’ll cut it there. For now let’s get to his other flaw.

Let’s rewind to a scenario where Constantine isn’t about to go off the deep end due to stress and paranoia, but things aren’t quite good either. When it comes to matters of safety and health, Constantine 9 times out of 10 already has a solution in mind and you bet your ass that he’s not going to hear any complaints about it. He thinks he knows what’s best and that you simply don’t know any better. Don’t mistake this as coming a place of ego or condescension, rather it’s from a place of love and care. It just might come off that way because he’s so damn stubborn and so worried about you. But this of course, doesn’t excuse how bullheaded he’s being about it. No one’s quite sure how the idea got into his head, but Constantine believes that—since you aren’t as paranoid cognizant of death and dying like he is—that you are simply ignorant and in even more need of his protection than if you were. He’s the one who’s seen it all, he’s the one who knows just how dangerous the world really is and he knows just cruel and spontaneous death really is. So obviously he has to put in the work to make sure you’re okay, even if you have an argument about it. It’s worth it if you’re okay tomorrow and the day after.

Endnote: Annnnd that’s that. It’s not much but I hope it’s something good. I really want to get into the thing I offhandedly mentioned exactly once, but I have to write for Mehmed and Sannan too. I just can’t leave them hanging!

Oh and I recently ported my Constantine HCs and the beefy 21k fic onto Ao3. Not really much of an incentive to go there since it’s just that and some—admittedly—cringe fics I posted a year ago when I first started writing fanfiction. It’s not much and it kinda hurts to read, but it’s my history and it’s a symbol of my growth. But yeah, the name’s RedliningFrequency if you feel so inclined to drop by or if you were wondering if there was an imposter of me there, well now you know.

Anywho, I’m going to go back into research hell and try not gouge my eyes out from boredom. Have a nice night everyone and until next time!

—Redline, over and out!

[bellmo15-blog]

The OTHER Plugsuited Demon Beauty.

Oh boy, this is going to be an interesting one to talk about.

It's hardly a secret at this point but Devil May Cry 2 is widely agreed upon, when people aren't busy ragging on the 2013 reboot that is, to be the worst game in the series. And there's plenty of good and valid reasons for that. Aside from the obvious stuff that people love to meme on anyway like how over powered the guns are or that one of the bosses is literally a tank there's stuff like how the games story isn't explained very well, Dante had all the personality and charisma that made him so likable sucked out of him, the game's world looking bland and lifeless compared to the first games setting which still looks wonderful even today, the only other melee weapons you can get are just reskins of your starting one with only very minor differences and how pretty much every problem this game has could of been avoided if Capcom didn't force a completely different team who had never worked on an action game before to make it in only 2 years. And people act like publishers treating there devs like shit is a new thing this generation...

Even with all the shit DMC 2 does wrong and rightfully get's crap for there is one aspect from it I actually really do like and it might surprise you to hear what it is. Lucia. I actually kind of really like her. Not so much her gameplay because it has the same issues as Dante's gameplay and I'd argue is even worse because she has several awful underwater sections, but more just everything else about her.

Her design for one thing I really like especially since her Devil Trigger makes her look like a Mega Absol but also her story two a little. She learns during her campaign that she's actually a defective demon created by the games main villain Arius and the rest of her story she's having one big existential crisis due to a fear she's going to lose control of herself and become a monster killing everyone which for as wired as this sounds is actually kind of relatable. Because let's be completely honest here, how many of you people have learnt something about yourself that you have no idea how to react to or how to process and spend a good while worrying about it? Hell, I didn't even know I was autistic or what the concept of Autism even was until I was 14 years old and you bet I spent several days not knowing how to even process that at first. Not to mention the several years I was worried I'd grow up to be an angry and bitter man because of how my own farther had anger issues himself. I mean sure, maybe Lucia's story could of been handled a lot better in game and fleshed out a lot more but it is because of the likely un-intended relatability that does actually make me like her a bit.

Which brings me to the whole reason I decided to get her in Rei's White Plugsuit in the first place. Aside for the colour matching Lucia's original design I mean. I mentioned in the Trish Plugsuit pic ChaosCroc did for me that the whole reason I was motivated to get that was because of how Trish being a demon created in the image of Dante's mother Eve was very similar to how Rei in Evangelion was created as a clone of Shinji's mother. Only there are multiple Rei's in Evangelion in the event that one happens to die. Just like how there are technically multiple Lucia's and the one we follow in Dee Em Cee Too is a defect. And that justification pretty much speaks for itself! Lucia had some similarities to Rei and it inspired me. And I'm happy to have gotten this pic. Especially since over the years I've actually wanted Lucia to show up again in new game a little because it sucks that she's stuck in the worst game in the series and anything past that she DOES show up in is in supplementary material we might never get outside of Japan.

Artist is AmeerAshourDraws. Also fun fact, the design of his Ashour Drones was slightly inspired by Plugsuits which is peak!

[jankydem]

NGL I need more facts about the DR scraps of despair cast, I did not see them for a hot second.

YAYYY AN EXCUSE TO YAP ABOUT MY BABIES!!!

- in some old sketches that I did of Yasuyuki, he was emo. im not sure if I still have the sketches but he had the whole kaboosh, eyeshadow, all black clothing, emo haircut, allat. I changed him later on because I thought his current design suited the whole “12 year old prodigy” theme.

- Mitzuki tends to dress Kenji in dresses sometimes. She just goes over to him like “hey dawg wanna wear a dress?” And he, being the awesome guy he is, immediately agrees.

- speaking of Kenji wearing dresses- he does so to make himself feel more comfortable with himself as he’s quite insecure. He can’t explain it but sometimes wearing dresses just makes him feel nice. He doesn’t wear them a LOT, though.

- give kyran a frog plushie and he will IMMEDIATELY be your best friend (he loves frogs)

- Keiko is absolutely COVERED in scars. He’s very accident prone, and he hurts himself accidentally on the daily. His lower arms to his hands are the worst, though. One arm is completely burned and the other is just LAYERED in scars and scratches alike. He’s used to it, though. It doesn’t even hurt him much.

- mitzuki MIGHTTTT know sonia. why? princesses duh 😋

- Haru was originally gonna have an afro

- Haru and Yori are sworn enemies. They DESPISE each other. They’re like Ishimaru and Owada before they became best bro’s. Like they full on FIGHT.

- Yori is very desperate for validation. Not even due to trauma, he just wants to be validated. He got famous quite young so it’s all he’s ever really been praised for. That’s why he likes it so much.

- Matsunari and Miyu are best friends. Sort of. Before Miyu got dolli-fied they were SUPER close but now, the new Miyu only fakes it because she’s INSANNNEEE and doesn’t really gaf about anything.

- Caleb doesn’t fear much, but he does fear spiders. Heavily. He has to get Kellise to take the spider away from him because hes too scared to do so himself

- Himari has had to go to anger management therapy more than once. She doesn’t even have anger issues, it’s just because of a few fights she’s gotten into due to people not knowing when to stop bullying her friends. She’s a very caring person. And far too strong for her own good

- Dimitrios will NOT take off his jacket. Ever. He loves it too much.

Rawr .. silly silly..

[wrappedinamysteryy]

TEN THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO WITH YOUR CHILD

1. Screaming

Some say it's worst than beating, and leaves one with long-term mental and emotional scars. Remember, the Prophet ‎ﷺ never raised his voice on a child, women, a friend or otherwise. Regulate yourself when you hear your voice starting to get louder. When the parent screams at the child, the child's nervous system shuts down and the brain can't absorb anything you're saying. If you scream, or make mistakes (we all do), the best thing you can do is apologise to your child. You will teach them how to repair after making mistakes and how to take responsibility. If you struggle with apologising to your child because you don't want to look small, you got some work to do.

2. Blaming

Blaming weakens relations, lowers self-esteem and prompts children to be on the defense, even when they haven’t done something wrong. Anas b. Malik, then a 10 year old child, said: “I served the Prophet ‎ﷺ for nine years and he never said about anything I did, why I did that, or about anything I didn’t do, why didn’t you.” When the only thing that comes out your mouth when addressing your child is criticism, blame, and orders and there's very minimal praise, loving words, affection or fun you as a parent become a source of negativity for their child instead of someone they want to come to for affection or support.

3. Nonstop Orders

Orders and instructions, without first convincing, persuading, educating, or leading by example, turn the child into a robot and this is not healthy. When growing up, they blindly emulate and obey any authority, regardless of its values. Balance out your orders with appreciations each day. Make sure you share more appreciations and positive moments than orders and criticisms in a day. The research shows the ratio of positive interactions to outweigh negative interactions is 5:1. That is 5 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction. This is because as humans, the impact of hurt and pain lasts longer than happiness. Trauma has a lasting effect.

4. Threatening

Threatening is used because it’s a quick fix for resistance, but not a solution in the long run. Any attitude driven by fear is hypocritical, and does not indicate real change. (Eg, go to bed or I'll... or stop that before I get up and ...) This is useless parenting and the child learns to do things only when their fear is increased. You are literally teaching them to threaten their way through life or to not do anything unless they are threatened.

5. Sarcasm

Making fun of a child is an unacceptable behavior in Islam: “O you who believe let not a group scoff at another group… “(49:11). Mocking a child hurts their sense of worth and self-esteem. Any parent who mocks their child is displaying their major toxic insecurities that they need to work on. The parent needs to make their child feel safe, not tease and bully them.

6. Cursing

Cursing teaches the child cursing, which he will use against others, including relatives, friends and parents. The hadith says: “A believer is never a defamer nor a curser nor coarse nor obscene." What's worse than cursing around your child is cursing and swearing at them.

7. Comparing

Never compare your child to anyone, especially siblings. Comparing creates jealousy, anger and puts them on the defense. You are literally saying to your child that they, as a human, are not good enough and should be like others. They grow up with low self-esteem and never feeling accepted or good enough. They will excessively seek acceptance and validation from others even in unhealthy and harmful ways.

8. Continuous Advising

The normal attention span is 3 to 5 minutes per year of a child’s age. Therefore, a 2-year-old should be able to concentrate on a particular task for at least 6 minutes, and a child entering kindergarten should be able to concentrate for at least 15 minutes. In the hadith “The Prophet used to take care of us by preaching during some days and not others fearing that we may get bored.” My favourite mottos are

"Connection Over Correction" and

"Understanding Must Precede Advice"

9. Mistrust

Not giving the child the benefit of doubt weakens mutual trust, shuts frank communication and hurts self-confidence.

10. Beating

In most cases, beating a child is about parents venting anger than wisely and calmly wanting to improve a behavior. Beating, similar to a pain killer, is a temporary fix only for the parent, not a cure for the child. It creates trauma and a coward personality, which will continue to do bad things as long as nobody is watching. Beating also teaches your child to be abusive or accept abuse when they become adults.

I know parenting is difficult, and there's no such thing as a perfect parent. However we as parents have a massive responsibility and we need to be reminded and change any toxic parenting practices we've adopted.

Source: Dr. Hesham Al-Awadi, author of "Children Around the Prophet: How Muhammad ‎ﷺ Raised the Young Companions. I've added some of my own words to the explanations.

#RaisingChildren #Parenting #IslamicReminders #TheCouplesCounsellor #mrcounselling

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[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: You Make My Heart Explode (21x05)

Teddy and Owen are so annoyyyyyingggg...

Cons:

I'm sad for no Yasuda this week because I know we're losing her soon. I wonder if we're just phasing her out right now with not much more content to follow. It's a bummer.

Lucas and Simone have a romantic moment in this episode and while nothing was super annoying about their scene, I do just want to lodge my familiar statement that they bore me. Just so that's on the record.

Owen and Teddy are not fun to watch. In one sense they are realistically like an old married couple, but only in all the worst ways. Owen is such a whiner, and Teddy is so rude to him, and they both rather unprofessionally let it carry over into their working relationship, and then Richard has to do a Wise Old Man routine and talk to Teddy about it, and Owen has to remember how to be romantic and connect with her so they don't have to schedule sex... it's just so tedious. Better, I suppose, than the kind of melodrama that makes me hate the characters with a fiery passion, but worse than if they'd just fade quietly into the background and walk off of the show while nobody's watching. I can't believe these are the characters that are sticking around, and not Schmitt and Yasuda.

Pros:

I really liked Schmitt and Adams's dramatic helicopter adventure with their young patient! I felt some real tension for them and then felt the corresponding relief when they made it back safe. Amelia making eye contact with Lucas was a nice little touch, checking in subtly on her family... I also loved that Monica gave Levi the validation that he does belong in pediatrics and that she does believe he can be good at it. Schmitt is a lesson in how making a bad first impression doesn't mean you can't ultimately be really successful and find your place in the world. He takes a little longer to figure things out, but he always gets there in the end!

I was right about his love interest dude, too. Turns out, not a cheating thing. A dead husband thing. The comedy of Jo and Levi hiding in Jo's car from their problems as their men accost them from the outside was really funny, but I'm glad they didn't drag things out any more than that. Levi knows the truth now and they can proceed from there. I loved the line about how this is all really new for him, dating after being widowed... it puts Levi in a position to be the one trying to make someone else feel comfortable and safe, which I thing will be good for him!

Jo and Link are never going to be my favorite thing in the world, but I did at least like that they addressed the tension and fear they felt about the pregnancy in the way that they did. Link's fix-it attitude is his own way of coping with his fear, and it clashes with the way Jo needs to emotionally process. That seems like a very realistic conflict for them to be facing!

Blue ends up being an advocate for a member of the janitorial staff who has a serious health condition and can't afford treatment. I like stories about Kwan giving a shit, even though it's not like it's some big secret that he has a soft heart underneath all the attitude. I have a feeling that this will be a story-line that carries through the season, which is something Grey's has gotten better and better about doing in recent seasons - we learn that the hospital administrators want to help this guy get the treatment he needs, but the timetable might prove an issue, as the man has a son with special needs who can't be left on his own. I'd love to see Blue continue to problem solve on this and learn to be a better doctor and person through the experience.

I'm sure I've missed stuff here and there - Ben seems to be settling in just fine, Bailey is still a little anxious about it, the interns are all exhausted picking up Yasuda's shifts, but they're hanging in there. We finally saw potential movement on the Amelia/Monica front, but not a lot of development. Maybe we'll get a Meredith check-in soon? We'll find out soon enough!

7/10