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stellocchia · 3 years

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I really liked Wilbur's lore stream from yesterday, so you guys are getting a short stream analysis from me

As always dialogue is color-coded: Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo

And since I'm the least concise person ever everything is under the cut

The stream is (DSMP LORE) A Year Later

The stream starts with Wilbur singing the L'Manburg anthem to Ranboo. It is interesting to notice that, just like all the streams since he's been back he doesn't start off the stream by addressing chat in any way but already taking with someone in-universe.

"I'm a big big fan of the song (...) (Wilbur notices that Ranboo was muted) so sorry, let's try again: have you heard that song before?" "Yeah I have, I have. I have- I've had a friend that sings it quite a lot" “Good, good, and I was gonna say, it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is Ranboo, right? But the thing is- the thing is Ranboo, right? Is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants" "Oh, to the plants?" "Yeah! In- in the- around the- around the uhm... around the thing! You know the- the caravan? (...) so, my man, Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better and that was the song he used to sing and so I thought what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most- one of the most loyal members or of our fair nation than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little- his little Muse. Tommy is a- Tommy is all of our Muse really I'd say"

I cut as much of this quote as I could while still leaving it well understandable and leaving in everything I wanted to talk about, but man is it long... So let's break it down a bit at a time:

1) The friend that Ranboo referenced that sings the anthem a lot is most likely Tubbo considering that they met him later on in this stream while he was singing that very song

2) The memory of the song seems to still be a particularly pleasant one for Wilbur, which probably explains why Ghostbur as well was so fond of it. He speaks about it positively throughout and it generally seems like an overall positive moment of reminiscence, probably because it's a callback to a simpler time when Wilbur too was, you know, happier overall. It's a reminder of a time before the worsening of his spiral.

3) Also interesting that they kept it in canon that Tommy singing to the plants was what inspired the anthem. Especially because I'm not entirely sure if that's the case considering that the actual anthem wasn't written by cc!Wilbur but by a fan upon his request (obviously this is outside the story).

4) Last thing I wanted to mention was Wilbur describing Tommy as a Muse. Muses in mythology are the inspirational goddesses of the arts, music, and science, Tommy aside from the anthem obviously isn't that. But it is interesting that Tommy does take a central role when it comes to motivating people. We could say that Techno's speech on the 16th was inspired by him since it was directed at him. Similarly, Niki and Jack had their arcs revolving around him. Tommy was able to rally the troops with ease multiple times. And Dream's obsession with him itself is the main motivator for, like, 90% of his actions. So, while he may not cover the role of a muse literally it's not a comparison that is too far off...

They headed to the museum afterward and took notice of the Ranboo poster being missing. And then they headed off to L'Manburg (which, by the way, looks amazing, thank you cc!Phil for that one).

"It goes by L'Manhole now apparently" "I- yeah it's kinda- ugh- I'm not a fan. It's kinda rude to L'Manburg's history, you know? It- it's called L'Manburg. It's called L'Manburg. NOT Manberg, not L'Crater or whatever. L'Manhole, I don't care, it's now L'Manburg, it's always L'Manburg, okay?"

It's interesting that not too long ago he was saying that even L'Manburg itself (with an emphasis on the name) wasn't what was actually important, the purpose of it was. He admits later on that he lied in that conversation, but it's impressive how quickly he trusted Ranboo enough to let him see how much he still cared about L'Manburg when he was so intent on lying about it not too long ago.

Wilbur's enthusiasm about seeing the flag is another nice confirmation about him still caring deeply for his old nation.

"Damn, I really went down to bedrock, didn't I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place" (I wonder why Ranboo didn't correct him on this, because Ranboo knows that Techno, Phil, and Dream are the ones who actually exploded the country down to bedrock...)

They end up seeing Tubbo on the other side of the crater and head over to him. While they're heading there Tubbo is singing the anthem himself in a very mournful tone.

One interesting thing that I noticed it's that it's Wilbur that heads towards Tubbo's location instead of having Tubbo go to him like he mostly did with Tommy for example. I suppose it could be because Tubbo having been a president himself is in less of a subordinate position to Wilbur than Tommy who's always been a simple soldier.

"It's like looking in a little mirror, look you're wearing my suit still? How long have you been wearing that?" "Oh I just put it on, just for today" (in a similar fashion to Jack bringing out the L'Manburg uniform to reminisce, Tubbo also brought out clothes he strongly attaches the memory of L'Manburg to)

"Ranboo have you met Tubbo?" "Yeah, yeah. I've- I've met him, I mean we've, uhm... we've been around" (Ranboo still minimizing his relationship with Tubbo to Wilbur. Of course, this is because he doesn't trust him but it's interesting that he isn't even honest about that)

After a bit of back and forth, Wilbur starts apologizing to Tubbo. At first, like most other times he's having a serious discussion he puts himself in an elevated position to tower over Tubbo. It's a neat way to show how his own desire for control affects him, having Wilbur literally elevate himself over others when speaking to them. Literally putting Tubbo down in this situation. Which does make the beginning of his apology very obviously feel insincere.

"I'm sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I'm sorry for when I did this *pointing at the crater* and blew all this up and making this whole. I'm sorry that I uh- that I said that you were the president of a crater"

This is that first part of the apology I mentioned. Just to clarify, I don't actually think that it was entirely insincere. It just feels less impactful due to Wilbur putting himself in a position of superiority over Tubbo, especially because it's something we've seen him do before. It's also to be noted that this time, like others before, he seems to be apologizing less out of actual guilt and more out of a desire to earn forgiveness. Which is not a critique by the way. I just feel like that's a misconception Wilbur has, that apologies serve the purpose of confirming to him that he's doing a good job at changing more than to actually make amends for what he's done. The reason why I think that's the case for the beginning part of this apology as well it's because of how fast he went to ask tubbo if he forgave him, which did put a certain level of pressure on Tubbo in this situation.

"I mean it wasn't- this wasn't all you Wilbur" (thank you tubbo for finally dispelling some of those misunderstandings)

"Yeah so me and mainly Ghostbur honestly, like-" "Ghostbur" (some more of Wilbur not being too fond of Ghostbur)

"Right is he [Ghostbur] this obsidian crap then I take it and these- these fucking dumb lanterns up here" (a bit more)

To correct Wilbur's misconceptions Tubbo starts off asking if the other knew Dream, to which Wilbur responds with how much he appreciates Dream and how he's his hero, which makes Tubbo backtrack and blames most of Doomsday on Techno and Phil. Which, as we know, isn't actually accurate and I have a feeling that this misinformation will be harmful later on once Dream is out of prison (though I don't blame Tubbo for backtracking with how enthusiastic Wilbur is, that was the basic conflict-avoidant approach that Tubbo seems to prefer).

"They rained tnt for days" (if this is actually canon then Doomsday was even more of a tragedy than we previously saw it as. It was days filled with fighting and destruction. Then again, Tubbo has misremembered traumatizing events before)

"Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean it was partially my fault as well" "But you didn't blow it up" "No I didn't. I would never have wished or anything like this to happen" "So it was just Techno and Phil?" *long pause* "Y-yeees"

Two things to say here:

1) I appreciate someone in canon recognizing that it's not Tubbo's fault for what happened to L'Manburg and blaming the people who actually blew it up, similarly to how I appreciate Wilbur bringing up with Tommy that it was clearly Dream pulling the strings with his exile with Tubbo. It's nice having it stated plainly for people to hear

2) This is the misconception I mentioned. This is most certainly gonna backfire at some point.

After that Wilbur commends Tubbo quite a lot for rebuilding New L'Manburg (once again being dismissive towards Ghostbur) and is clearly enthusiastic about it, even going as far as to say that that mattered more to him than them building him a grave.

"I just, I feel lost without L'Manburg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it" "You feel lost without a nation..." "I have no purpose anymore" "I guess that's where anarchy fails" (I think this may be the first time someone admits it to someone else, even though that lack of purpose and feeling disoriented is very obviously a shared sentiment amongst the ex-citizens)

After that, it's when Wilbur invites Tubbo to join Paradise, the, supposedly burger van with a small house attached to it that wasn't supposed to become a nation. I have a feeling that the proposition coming right after that exchange may imply that Wilbur changed his mind on it. He does purposefully put himself again in an elevated position when making the proposition.

"Would you like to come join me in Paradise? Literally" "Hmmm, I'm not sure Wilbur. I'm not sure I trust you man, I need to- in order to follow someone I need to trust them" "Wait, wait but you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was, you know it-" "Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang on to the hope that people can change, but-"

This is what I mean when I say that Wilbur's apologies come with expectations for the person he's apologizing to. By asking Tubbo first if he forgave him when he originally apologized, he already made it harder for Tubbo to refute that. And now we learn that he expected trust to come along with forgiveness. He's not doing this maliciously of course, but he does seem to have some misconceptions on this.

"I know you had that- that at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you" "But you didn't" (other people brought this up, but this is a neat little parallel to the one scene in exile where Ranboo was lamenting about how he should have gone with Tommy and Tommy shut him down pointing out that anyone could have gone but no one actually did)

There is a second round of apologies and Wilbur is still standing higher than Tubbo, BUT he does put himself on his same level after he did a bit more pushing and found that Tubbo was standing his ground. He finally puts himself on the same level as Tubbo and openly acknowledges his boundaries which is the first actual real effort to change that we've seen from Wilbur. Which I'd say is a pretty important step for him.

"Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it, I can't just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can't" (acknowledgement of how Tubbo's trauma also affected him deeply)

"You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion. And- and of the fireworks. And- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it. Every day. It hurts. It hurts a lot Wilbur"

I want to commend Tubbo here for being able to open up like this, especially considering how much he generally leans into denial and how much he usually suppress. And on top of that this is Tubbo acknowledging that both Wilbur's actions (the explosion) and Techno's actions (the fireworks) have hurt him and STILL hurt him and affect him deeply. It's quite a big admission especially for him.

"Sorry feels like such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say" (first time that he's standing on the same level of Tubbo while apologizing)

"You're so strong man. Genuinely. You just- just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have this memories, that you have this nightmares and you still find it in your heart to forgive me. That's... you're a fucking champion man. You- you're a hero"

It's interesting that the reason why he claims Tubbo to be strong here is because he forgave him. It's not something that's inherently about Tubbo, like the fact that he still found the strength to go on and rebuild after the events he mentioned, for example, no. What Wilbur brought up is the one thing that Tubbo did for him. Which tells me that he still clearly has a bit of way to go to learn how to make amends and how redemption actually works, but, you know, that's to be expected honestly.

Wilbur moves on by inviting Tubbo to at least come and see Paradise, just to see what they'd made and Tubbo refuses because he wanted to spend more time reminiscing. Wilbur this time respect Tubbo's boundaries with no pushing which is yet another step forward for him honestly. Wilbur also gives Tubbo a "lucky rabbit's foot" that Tommy gave him to cheer him up and assure him that he had no problems with him not going.

With this their conversation comes to a close and Wilbur and Ranboo head over to Paradise (though not before Ranboo has confirmed with Tubbo that he actually does want to be left alone).

"You know I was gonna say 'this is hard' but obviously it's hard. I mean, you know, I've..." (a bit of reflection on his actions for Wilbur, you love to see it!)

"It's gonna get better! It's gonna get better! And it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone!" (I'm pretty sure that this is a genuine sentiment right here. It really does seem that wilbur's Big Plan right now is just to make amends and change)

"Do you know who the original L'Manburg group were? Do you know who we were?" "I- I think most of them yeah... I think it was like: you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well" "Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we'd gotten independence"

I wonder if that's an actual misrememberance on Wilbur's part (c!Wilbur, not cc!Wilbur, I'm sure cc!Wilbur remembers this) or just him wanting to put some distance between his good memories of L'Manburg and Fundy. Because Jack and Niki weren't there for the independence war either and yet he singled out Fundy who was. And I doubt that he'd forget about his son being one of the people who lost their first life in the final control room. In addition to that Wilbur didn't mention Fundy before among those he wanted to make smile.

I really think that this was intentional and that it was because, well, Wilbur felt deeply betrayed by Fundy. And we as the audience know that Fundy only ever publicly stopped acknowledging him as his father to be able to stay undercover as a spy, but he doesn't. It wouldn't be so weird that he wanted to erase Fundy from his memories of the time when he was supposed to be happy.

"I try and keep this on the low because I don't want uh- I don't want people to use it against me is the main problem. I do wa- I didn't even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy" "Yeah?" "I'll be honest I'm gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because if it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told tommy that I didn't actually care about L'Manburg and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain, you know, power and stuff, but it's not- it's not true. L'Manburg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day"

Once again I'm surprised how little it took Wilbur to trust Ranboo with stuff he hasn't really told anyone else. Makes you really understand how low of an opinion of himself he has that when the first person that calls him "alright" out loud just gets his undying trust. Especially considering that Ranboo doesn't trust him back and hasn't been the most honset with him so far. It's also a nice spelled out admission for anyone who didn't get how much Wilbur cares about L'Manburg from the longing look he gave to the camaravan's replica in the stream where he said he never cared.

"I wanted history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books it feels like" (just another interesting little insight on Wilbur's view of the situation)

"I've heard about what's Tommy's, you know, moved on... and how jack's moved on, and how Niki's moved on and everyone's moved on from L'Manburg at least partially, but Tubbo man, he's still..." (he only thinks the rest of them moved on because he hasn't spoken almost at all with two of them and he never really listened to Tommy. Also, again, Fundy is not mentioned)

"I don't know where I'd be without you [Ranboo] here right now man, I mean T-Tommy's great and all and he's here but I- I feel like, you know, I don't wanna- I don't wanna string him along too much because he's- I- when I look at him. When I look at him when he's helping me out building things with me I see the same eyes that looked at me when... when... There were some- there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn't a very well man and I can just see Tommy from that day"

This one was one heck of a confession!

I don't know if this is me misremembering, but I'm fairly sure that this is the first time he's admitted to not being great to Tommy specifically. Again, Tommy is the one person he met with so far that he hasn't apologized to. Heck! He told Tommy to his face that him being sorry for his actions didn't mean he wouldn't do them again. It's a pretty damn big admission to acknowledge that that behaviour (which is the same now, if not worse when only related to Tommy) wasn't good. It also shows that he's at least a bit aware of Tommy's emotions which is rarely shown honestly. Though whether he cares because of Tommy or because being around Tommy makes him feel guilty (which is what you'd expect him to feel) and he doesn't like that is to be determined still, mostly just because the phrasing was a bit uncertain at the moment.

"I know what it's like to have no one- or at least feel like no one trusts you. Uhm, and I- I've realized that if- if no one's with you then how can anyone really know when you've redeemed yourself? So that's why I'm here I guess" (Ranboo's answer to why he trusts Wilbur. Which he doesn't, but still)

And the stream ends with Wilbur saying he hopes Tubbo comes around to try out one of the burgers (though he does repeat that he doesn't want Ranboo to pressure him to join) and complimenting Ranboo a bit more.

#dream smp #wilbur soot #ranboo #tubbo #c!wilbur #c!ranboo #c!tubbo #character analysis #dream smp analysis #long post #I said it would be short and I most definitely lied #but you guys should know that I'm not capable of brevity by now #so honestly it's on you if you believed the title

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saberstars · 3 years

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I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

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descentivity · 3 years

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Depression, Trauma, (and Most Importantly,) My Thoughts on Hello Charlotte EP1 & 2

Eating has been difficult for me for as long as I remember. It started off as an aversion to food, in favour of spending my time more efficiently on what my dumb little mind viewed as more important: Homework, video games.

Over time, it turned into anorexia. I had already gotten used to eating just under 500 calories a day, and my depression took my poor habits and twisted them into a cowardly and slow attempt at suicide.

On my road to recovery, I’ve found that years of poor eating choices have lead to my body struggling to process food. I have to eat at a painstakingly slow pace lest my stomach turns against me, and the smell of food is sometimes enough to diminish my appetite altogether. My bowel movements are, for lack of a better word, a shitshow.

This brings me to today, the 10th of August, 2021. 6 or so years of barely eating enough to survive later, I’m setting the world record for the slowest consumption of a fillet o’ fish in the history of mankind.

In my absolute boredom and unfathomable stomach pain, ManlyBadassHero’s playthrough of some random horror game (I can’t remember the name) appears in my YouTube recommended, and I’m reminded of a horror game I bought on sale on Steam, the last of a trilogy. In all honesty, I only bought the game because it was dirt cheap and one of my sisters’ names is Charlotte. I was too horrified at the time to process the story nor play the previous two games, so I did a quick achievement run and left it at that. I was certainly very confused as I had no idea who any of the characters or what any of the concepts were, but the gore had me too mortified to go and find out myself.

A year later, I’m looking the trilogy up on ManlyBadassHero’s YouTube channel, and decide to start from the beginning of his Hello Charlotte journey, in 2016.

Hello Charlotte EP1

I’m going to be completely honest with you, the first game really didn’t resonate with me too well. It was a cute, quirky, RPG Maker horror game, with two loveable main characters and an interesting world. However, with context from the third game, the events felt too self-isolated and inconsequential. Felix and Charlotte are in a little self-contained TV world created by a fictional race called Pythia - creatures with 3 or 4 eyes that can create miniature dimensions, once brought into a hivemind by an “Oracle,” which seems to be some sort of god. They all seem to be falling apart and have taken a horrific turn as most of the Pythia have been “executed,” and those who haven’t have either gone mad or into hiding in their own bubbles of (albeit temporary) safety.

The ending of the game is somewhat misleading, too. Once Charlotte and Felix escape the TV world by having Charlotte merge with the Oracle itself, the game almost plays off the previous events like they were all a story made up by a young and imaginative Charlotte. Did they happen at all? Is she a reliable narrator or point of view to begin with? (Spoiler alert, she is not.) The explanation for it all seems to be that Charlotte herself is a schizophrenic, though the legitimacy of this is brought into question in the third game, which I will talk about later. Altogether, the game didn’t bring out many strong emotions in me, and I was starting to zone out as I moved on to the second game’s playthrough.

Hello Charlotte EP2

What struck me as odd in the second game is that while the first game seemed to bring Charlotte out of her own strange, black-and-white world and back into reality, we’ve found out that she’s right back where we started last game. A black-and-white world, inhabited by her imaginary friends. Aliens, gods, and the like. However, Charlotte’s seemingly made-up world feels more alive this time. I’m not sure if this is the consequence of the game developer improving their skills or an intentional detail, but even more characters are introduced, and previously shallow tenants of Charlotte’s home are given more depth. The hazmat-suit wearing aliens have faces, personalities and whole backstories attached to them, now. Charlotte has a best friend at school named Anri, who has a obsessive crush on her. She’s friends with a bullying victim named C with horrible germaphobia, who has almost identical struggles to her (more on those struggles later.)

What also surprised me is the continuity between the first and second game. For some reason, I thought that this Charlotte would be starting from scratch, completely oblivious to the fate of the first game’s iteration. However, this concept only seems to be used in the third game, so I guess I was simply mislead. This game, in fact, takes place 3 years after the first, and the Oracle still lives on within Charlotte’s conscious. However, it’s a dying god, on its last leg. It had already been dying during the time of the last few Pythia, but it had used the last of its strength to free Felix and Charlotte from their world. As the Oracle’s health declines, so does Charlotte’s mortal body.

Unlike the first game, most of the themes in this game hit way too close to home. The feeling of second-hand helplessness when someone you barely knew ends their own life. Anri’s obsessive and outright manipulative lesbian crush on Charlotte, bordering on bullying. The schooltime harrassment and trauma Charlotte underwent. The fear and dangers of social interaction. Feeling unlawfully punished by your school teachers for seemingly nothing at all. Depression, self harm, and the primal urge to escape from it. Getting roped into others’ mental health, until both of your issues converge into a disgusting amalgamation of the need but severe lack of therapy and a break from it all. Delusions of what could’ve been and the possible, yet near impossible future ahead. Looking back on everything you’ve ever done and regretting every second of it.

While I ticked off the trauma presented to me on a silver platter in the form of a fucking RPG Maker game like a twisted bucket list, I found myself relating more and more to not only Charlotte, but the students around her. Scarlett, whose life was so perfect that nobody had even thought about her possible mental issues until it was far too late. Anri, who would lay down her life for a girl who simply doesn’t feel the same way. C, who desperately wanted to escape from reality by any means possible.

An interesting fact about Hello Charlotte is that there are numerous omnipotent beings amongst its cast. They aren’t shy about providing very in-depth character analysis to Charlotte, and in turn, to the puppeteer (I suppose now is a good time to inform those who are unfamiliar with the series that the puppeteer refers to a species, character, and the player, all at once. Charlotte has a puppeteer controlling her by the name of Seth. You are/are controlling Seth as the player. Capiche? Capiche.)

What this meant for me watching Manly’s playthrough was the feeling of two gods (in this game, at least) peering right into my soul, analysing characters that reflected my exact experiences and even my personality during my school days. I learned and realised things about myself that I simply hadn’t known before. Just like Charlotte, I’m simply looking for direction in life, and I’m too afraid to act without instructions. I found myself bullied, manipulated and abandoned by someone who simply wanted my affections, and only learned to miss them when they were gone. Like Anri, my desperation for love and approval from an individual in turn lead to anger and resentment for them. Like both Charlotte and C, I eventually turned to hurting myself to make all the pain go away, refusing help from others and developing a shell of false optimism and naivety to forget about the damage I had dealt to my body, personality and relationships.

As much as I hate to admit it on my little obscure Tumblr blog with 0 followers and 0 traction, I still struggle with these things. I have no direction in life, and wander aimlessly, hoping for one of my offshot attempts at content creation to take off. I find myself missing the girl who emotionally abused me to hell and back every day. I resent another girl for never feeling the same way I felt about her. I still don’t take care of myself, and spend every day in a state of denial about my physical decline and sickliness. I’m so incompetent emotionally that I spend days ignoring my own boyfriend, starving him of the proper relationship that he deserves all because of how broken, fragmented and distant my own mind is.

Hello Charlotte EP2 has four endings. All four of them, in my eyes, are bad.

In the first, C and Charlotte overdose together, leaving their mortal realm to become gods. They choose to ignore and forget the pains of their mortal lives, and live the rest of their godly lives in ignorant bliss. Do I want to forget about my depression and trauma? Learn nothing, and forget about everything that made me who I am today? Or worse even, do I dare take the plunge into “godhood,” and leave this mortal plane to end my suffering altogether?

In the second, Charlotte discovers that C isn’t who she thinks he is, and she finds him without a soul. Alive, but empty. Charlotte could not save him. Consumed by grief, she ascends and becomes a god, consuming the entire world around her. After all is said and done, she realizes her mistake. All of her friends are gone, C is still empty and unresponsive, and now she is alone. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve already gone through this ending, many times over. Countless times I’ve let my depression become all-consuming and take over my life. I’ve pushed so many people away and hurt so many more, and for what? I have nothing to gain from every fit of depression, and the consequences make it seem nothing more but a selfish attempt to make myself feel better.

In the third, Charlotte is the only one who dies. In her last moments, the Oracle comforts her, like a mother cradling her child. They embrace, and say goodbye to each other, as Charlotte’s own life was the only thing keeping the dying god alive. At this point, I’ve started to draw parallels between the Oracle and depression. Depression isn’t always a horrible thing that beats you down and keeps you from being truly happy. Sometimes, wallowing in my own sadness and depression would be the only thing that keeps you sane, stable, and calm. The feeling of hopelessness really is bittersweet, and in desperate times, goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of one’s circumstance. Oftentimes, I find that this is the most realistic way I’ll go out. One day, I may just accept depression, and succomb to it. There may not be a struggle at all. Rather, a quiet, submissive hum, which will fade away into silence.

In the fourth and final ending, Charlotte and C die alongside each other. After her death, Charlotte confronts the Oracle, and wishes to save everyone, and for everyone to be unhappy. Of course, this is where the classic saying: “Be careful what you wish for” comes in. Because of her wish, everyone’s soul, what makes them individual and unique, is erased. After all, no one can suffer if they cannot think at all. In some ways, emptiness is pure bliss. This once again goes back to the bittersweetness of depression. The sheer emptiness it may bring on, at times, is bliss. Feeling nothing isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a way to cope with the horrors of the world. To remember nothing at all is such a tempting yet unattainable solution that I can’t say I haven’t longed for in the near or distant past. Charlotte, of course, is distraught that her friends are all gone, their identities and souls lost forever. Following this, she has one request to make of another god, the observer. She wishes to be killed, as all of her actions have lead to nothing but pain for others and herself. The observer, however, refuses this offer. Instead, he comforts her and takes her hand. They go on a journey together. He suggests that one day, she’ll learn to control her power, and she can recreate the world and her friends. As they leave, Charlotte reflects on her hopes and dreams for the journey. She hopes to learn to be kind, and not hurt others. She wants to change her ways, and become an honest, good person. Charlotte, slowly but surely, is on the road to recovery.

Putting the unsettling sequel to this game aside, maybe I could learn a little bit from Charlotte.

#tw suicide #tw depression #tw anorexia #tw self harm #disordered eating tw #hello charlotte #charlotte wiltshire #anri warhol #scarlett eyler #charles eyler #indie horror #review

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catzula · 4 years

Note

Hello hello! I saw that you're opening requests so here i am! May i have a fic of Katsuki where he found the reader who's usually is a tough nut to crack, is 99% of the time never really cry and acts like a crackhead suddenly starts crying after one of Katsuki's empty insults he usually threw at her? And it turns out that she was very overwhelmed about the amount of work, deadlines, pressure and pretty much problems twirling around her to the point where one insult that she KNOWS he didn't even mean it can throw her over the edge? And Katsuki just went '?!?!?!' and didn't know what to do? Kinda feeling pretty much like this rn lmao, and kinda want comfort especially if it's from the boom boom man.

Anyways- i absolutely adore your work!

•words and promises•

A/N: this request was really cute and so relatable cuz ever since the schools started again, they've been going so hard on us I don't even have the time to sleep sometimes (but I have the time to write- ironic huh) I hope you're feeling better now, tho! Thank you so much for the request, I hope this was comforting rather than triggering cuz bakugou is mean here lmao

bnha taglist!: @astroninaaa

W.C: 3.2k

Warnings: cursing, insecurities (I think?), stress and anxiety

Genre: angst with a good ending, comfort

"And please hand the summary in by Friday. Todoroki-kun, could you make sure to collect them from everyone and hand them to me?" Midnight asked with a bright smile, leaving the room when Todoroki nodded, everyone else groaning in frustration.

"She wants us to read a whole goddamn book and summarize it in a week?" Kaminari cried out, voicing all of your inner thoughts.

"You, know, Kaminari-kun, it's not entirely impossible to do that." Iida interrupted, fixing his glasses. It would've been a bit more convincing if he didn't have purple bags under his eyes and looked like he was about to pass out.

"Maybe It wouldn't have been impossible if we didn't have 20 other summaries and essays to write!" Mina shot back, and Iida had no answers to that.

You stood silent, but that was because you felt like you couldn't breathe. Everything they were saying was true, this was all too much, and you had no idea how to overcome it. Not even aware you zoned out, you were awoken by your state by a hard snap of a finger in front of your eyes.

"Watcha looking at?" The owner of the fingers asked, and despite his hard voice, his ruby red eyes had a playful glint to them.

"I was just worried if you're smart enough to actually finish an assignment." You told mockingly, and he scoffed.

"Look at the one talking, you were the one who came to my door last night, begging me to help you with the science homework."

"I didn't beg!" You protested. "I just asked you if you did it and you offered to help me!"

"I offered to help just because I pitied you." He muttered, his harsh words causing the rest of the class to gasp and look at you, half expecting you to get mad and scream at him, even though this scene was happening more often than they would like to admit.

These little fights you had with Bakugou was now almost a part of their day. It was an odd relationship you had, always attacking each other, sometimes maybe taking it a bit far, but both of you always knew it wasn't coming from the heart.

When you stood silent, sending a mocking laugh his way, and kept scrolling through Instagram, he was a little surprised.

You were never silent, you always, always had something to say back. In fact, that was one of the things he loved- hated about you. Whatever he told you, you had something clever or dumb to say, and you were so brutally blunt when he fought with you, sometimes he found himself laughing at the insults you threw at him.

Still, his pride stopped him from asking if something was wrong, on the contrary, he was happy to finally have some quiet time, he told himself. You could feel his eyes on you as you thoughtlessly scrolled through your Instagram feed, but you didn't have it in you to argue, you were too tired for that.

Bakugou scoffed after looking at you for a while, still expecting you to poke fun at him, but when you sat still, he gritted his teeth and sat back at his place.

■■■

Bakugou never thought he would miss arguing with you.

He noticed you were acting a bit odd, not once trying to get in a fight with him, not even a snarky comment coming from your way. It was weird to see you so quiet, and it was getting on his nerves.

You weren't entirely silent, but whenever he tried to lul you into fighting with him, you just looked at him with a blank smile and went on doing whatever it was you were doing. And Bakugou was not someone you could just ignore.

Your friends had started to catch up with Bakugou's growing frustration, his now harder comments, and how you simply ignored them. They thought you were tired of him (really, who could judge you? Everyone knew how extra Bakugou sometimes could be), and didn't think of it as much, except one particular red-head.

Kirishima noticed how you clenched your teeth, how your hands turned into fists, your knuckles turning white whenever you heard a comment about you. He was probably the only one that actually understood the odd relationship between you and Bakugou, so Kirishima was more than aware that something was troubling you. He also knew better than just simply asking you, well aware you would never accept that there was, in fact, something bothering you.

You had never been the type to talk about your feelings easily, always trying to fix things by yourself, and taking pride by doing things alone. Your stubborn nature sometimes reminded him too much of a certain ashy blonde.

"Hey, Y/N." He approached you at a break, noticing the dark circles under your eyes. "Oh, hey, Kiri-kun, what's up?" You asked with a slightly forced smile when you felt his eyes examining you.

"Nothing much, we're gonna meet up in Mina's dorm tonight, you know, to partly study and talk. You've been kinda distant lately, you wanna come?" You bit your lip thoughtfully. You wanted to go, but there was so much to do and so little time that you felt like you didn't even have time to sleep, let alone spend time with your friends.

"I- I don't know." You muttered with an apologetic smile. "I don't think I can, I really should work on the homework."

"Oh come on," He insisted. "You don't have to stay long, and it's nice to take a break sometime, you know."

Taking a break. Something you've been putting off doing for a long time.

"You've been pushing yourself quite a lot, you know. Don't think we missed how tired and stressed you've been lately."

"I'm not-" You tried to deny, but sighed when he looked like he wouldn't believe whatever you told him. "Okay, I'll be there." You told him, and he sent you a cheeky smile.

"Just make sure we have enough coffee."

"I personally will take care of that." He winked, and you giggled, shaking your head side to side. You didn't even notice the ruby eyes watching you two as you laughed, a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of Bakugou's stomach since it was someone else who made you laugh. Not him. All he could do was to mess with you.

The frustration he felt reflected on his words, too. Sure, Bakugou was never nice, but over the past years you had spent with him, he had learned to be, well, not so aggressive. But as the day went by, he just kept attacking you in a way that made you feel trapped.

And even though you never noticed, the way you seemed to ignore him whenever he tried to get a reaction from you just made everything worse, causing Bakugou to get even braver with his attempts to fight.

And he was aware of it, too. Bakugou could feel his heart beating faster in his chest whenever he told you something, a fear in him that told him he just went too far this time, but nonetheless, he still didn't even get one look his way.

"Miss Y/N? Can you answer this?" You heard Aizawa calling your name, making you jump in your seat. You weren't even aware that you had zoned out. Again. "I- I'm sorry." You muttered after a few seconds, looking down at your hands and hiding your face.

A mocking laugh came from Bakugou's way, and you clenched your teeth, hoping he would just let it go with a scoff, but your hopes died when Aizawa quirked a brow.

"Bakugou? Have something to say?" He asked, and Bakugou scoffed. "How can you be so-" He started to say but stopped mid-sentence when you didn't even turn his way, playing with the pen that was in front of you, instead, as if you were telling him just your pen was more interesting then whatever he had to say.

"Whatever." He muttered, not bothering to finish the remark he was previously saying.

■■■

"I have to pull like a week of full nighters to get half of these done!" Mina groaned eyeing the books and papers that were towering on her desk, denying to fit into her bag.

"And Aizawa-sensei even talked to them to go easy on us." Ochako exclaimed nervously. Even Yaoyorozu, probably the only one that would actually be able to finish all the assignments, had bags under her eyes, either from stress or the lack of sleep.

You entered the room, only to find a bag full of canned coffee and Kirishima's wide smile, greeting you. "I kept my promise, you see." He told you as you settled on the floor across him. "And I kept mine." You answered with a tired smile. It was an unnecessary attempt to hide how tired you were at this point.

"Hey, Y/N, we were wondering if you were okay? You seem to be a little down lately and-" Ochako asked with a nervous smile, which you didn't even let her finish. Maybe it was rude what you did, but you didn't want to hear the end of that sentence.

"Oh I'm perfectly fine." You lied through your teeth. "Maybe just a little stressed, but really nothing important."

"Are you sure?" Mina quirked a brow at you, but before you could answer, everyone looked at the door when they heard a knock, and you took a deep breath of relief. Looking around you, everyone was here, and you weren't sure who it could be at the door-

"Bakugou, you showed up!" Mina cheered when she saw the grumpy blond leaning to the door.

"Tch," he scoffed, his eyes meeting yours for a second, the look in them sending shivers down your spine. "Only because you wouldn't get out of my hair if I didn't."

"It always works, though." She told him with a sly smile, causing his eyes to narrow in a threatening way. His gaze wandered around the room, eyes meeting yours for a second time that night, you noticed his hands turning into tight fists when you looked away.

It wasn't your intention to ignore him the way you did, you just didn't have the strength to fight back. You liked fighting with Bakugou, but lately, you felt like you would break if anyone so much as touched you, and Bakugou's words were -even though it was unintentional- often harder than a slap across your face.

He didn't think of it as something important, no one did, since you were the only one that could handle Bakugou and fight back. You never held your tongue, never quivered before him, never looked sad when he said something that would make anyone else break down crying.

No one ever knew, it did sadden you. Especially lately, with all the stress and pressure on you, it did make you feel like crying, but of course, you weren't going to admit to that.

So, you hid it. From everyone, from your friends, form Aizawa sensei and family. No one needed to know how everything was pressuring you in a way that the only thing you could feel was being trapped until you just... sorted things out.

"Hey, you okay?" Kirishima nudged you with his leg, waking you up from your dark thoughts. Not even aware you zoned out, your breath stuck in your chest, you gaped at him blankly for a second.

"Y-yeah." You answered with a smile, and you heard him sigh.

"Yeah, okay." He finally told you. "Just- just know you can talk to me when you don't feel good, 'kay? You know I'm always here to listen."

You did, you really did, but you just wanted to sort things out yourself, without anyone else, to prove to yourself that you were strong enough.

You nodded and reached for a can of coffee, hiding your watering eyes from him.

"Oh, since you're here!" You heard Mina shuffle some paper on her desk. "Could you help me with this math question? I've been working on it for a while now, but I just couldn't do it." She leaned your way, handing you the paper.

"Oh-" You bit your lip, feeling oddly guilty. "I'm sorry Mina, I couldn't do it either."

"Oh, that's okay, we'll just ask Bakugou, then." She shrugged thoughtlessly and turned to the blond that was watching your every move, looking awfully similar to a wolf watching his prey. His eyes narrowed when you followed your friend and got closer to him, not saying a word. The meek look in your eyes oddly disturbed him, even he wasn't sure why seeing you like this angered him, but it did. He could feel how your nervousness grew as you walked towards him, too.

"What? Too dumb to do it yourself?" He raised one brow, praying to get an annoying answer like you always did, but you just looked away, instead.

"Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that dumb that you can't even-"

"Bakugou, that's enough." Kirishima interrupted, noticing your watering eyes, how you nervously chewed on your lip, but Bakugou wasn't listening to him. He was too focused on trying to get a reaction out of you, not even aware of anything else.

"What- did I offend the princess? Is that all you can do? Just stand there all pretty, not able to even defend yourself that people around you has to?" Bakugou blurted out, words coming out of his mouth in an angry fit. The second he said them, his eyes widened, realizing he went too far this time.

Too far.

He saw how you flinched at his words, and that's when you chose to look him in the eyes. Your lashes wet with tears you were desperately trying to hold back, one or two already sliding down your cheek. Only then did he notice how tense you were, and not only then, but almost all the time these last few days.

"I-" You tried to speak, but you choked on your words, your heart beating so loudly in your chest, and in your ears, you knew you had to get away from him.

Not even bothering to excuse yourself, you left the room in a rush, leaving ten gaping people after you.

"Wh-what the fuck?" Bakugou muttered, his eyes still fixed on where you were standing seconds ago.

"Are you fucking dumb?" Kirishima exclaimed suddenly. His eyes wide with disbelief, yeah, Bakugou was mean and he did go overboard sometimes, but this was something else.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He kept pestering his dumbfounded friend. "What were you thinking as you said all those things to her? Hah?"

"I wasn't-"

"You weren't thinking, that's the problem! What's going on with you lately? How can you lash out at her so?!" Bakugou stood quiet, the rest of the room not even daring to make a sound.

"Shut up, shitty hair." Bakugou muttered as he walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Ochako asked meekly, gulping loudly when Bakugou sent a glare her way and exited without even answering her question.

■■■

It wasn't hard to find you.

Maybe it was because he knew you too well, even more than he was even aware, or maybe it was because you weren't as complicated as you thought you were.

The night was chilly, the stars so bright, he was certain you were out in the garden. He spotted you on the bench, feeling his heart clenching with the sight of your face hidden in your hands, shoulders shaking with sobs.

"Y/N." He called out, his voice making you jump in your seat. You sprinted to your legs immediately, wiping the tears with the back of your hand, though, not doing a good job since your face was still damp with tears.

"Bakugou- wh-what are you doing here?" You asked, taking a step back when he got closer to you. He noticed this, a dreadful feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm here to..." Why was he here? Certainly not to apologize. No, Bakugou never apologized.

Or so you thought.

"I'm here cause I'm- sorry." He finally managed to say, almost inaudibly. "For the things I said back in there- and other times, too."

He watched as you bit your lip, a confused and hurt look in your eyes, and he wanted to kick himself for causing you to be like this. "Why-" You finally managed to say after a few seconds, "why did you say all that? Why did you-"

"I'm sorry." He repeated, and this time you didn't step back when he walked towards you. So close that you could feel his caramel scent enveloping you. "I'm really sorry."

"I was- I was being dumb, I didn't mean any of that, and I'm really, really sorry." He whispered, and before he even knew what happened, you had your arms wrapped around him. It caught him by surprise, but he instantly closed his arms around you, too, holding you so tightly, his body so warm and so safe, you found yourself crying once again.

"Shh," he whispered to your hair, his hand caressing your hair in a soothing way. "It's okay." He didn't really know what was okay, but he felt like you needed to hear those words.

And you did.

Your sobbed in his arms, your face pressed to that place in between his shoulder and neck as his hand stroking your hair. And you didn't know what it was, but after a while that felt like you were never going to stop crying, you felt your sobs dying slowly, until all that was left was your occasional sighs.

Bakugou had never seen you like this, never so vulnerable, never so open. But the soft smile on his face told you that he didnt hate it. And you didn't exactly hate it either, to finally be able to at least show a fraction of what you were feeling to anyone.

"I'm sorry." You muttered. "I got your shirt wet."

"Dumbass, why are you apologizing-" his eyes widened when he realized he insulted you again. "I didn't mean-"

"No it's okay." You giggled. "I still want to have those- whatever it is we have. Let's not change anything, I don't want you to act as if I'm fragile glass."

"Y-yeah." He answered, his chest finally feeling lighter since he saw you laugh. "Yeah, okay."

His eyes looked at your laughing face one more time. "Promise."

Even though you weren't sure why exactly he promised, you had a feeling it was to never make you cry again.

#bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou angst #mha x reader #bnha imagines #bakugo x reader #bnha scenarios #mha imagines #mha x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader

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yn-dreamlife · 4 years

Text

My Hero

Mirio Togata x reader

Quirk: emotions; you can feel others emotions and project your own onto others around you, in dire situations you can even shut your own emotions off.

Description: Sir Nighteyes death not only changed Mirio but also your relationship, but are you just being oblivious or did he really mean what he said that day?

Warnings: Fluff, low-key angst, cuteness, nicknames

I sighed as I looked at the man in-front of me. The man I loved, once so happy and full of light and now... faded. He smiled still of course but, it was dimmer and more often than not fake. Im sure others have noticed but none of them like I have, how could they? I’m his girlfri- his EX girlfriend. A thought the still broke my heart.

But that didn’t mater any longer, he was still my friend, just like he promised. He was always there and gave me the space I needed after the break up. But of course I would never allow that for more than a day at most, he had just lost Sir Nighteye, the man he looked up to the man who was like a father to him, wether he told me or not doesn't matter. I knew that was true, that that was how he felt about him.

And now I watch him talk down to himself saying so many horrible untrue things. “Lemillion? Ha you could barely save one girl, you didn’t deserve your quirk its good it was taken away-”

“Togata-san!” I called out as he hadn't answered me previously calling him. His head quickly snapped up to me as he wiped his tears. I shook my head cupping his cheek. “Why do you speak so lowly of yourself?”

“Because I deserve it! I’m not a hero, I was never going to be! I let Eri go, it’s my fault that Sir is dead!” He cried moving my hand away from his face harshly.

I let it drop to my side limply as I activated my quirk. Letting the calm peace I always felt around him seep into him. “Mirio-san you know that isn't true.”

“But how can I be a hero without a quirk?!” He said frustrated but he slowly calmed down.

“You already are.” I whispered and he scoffed softly. “You are Mirio-san, to so many people. But most importantly your m- I mean your her hero.”

He looked up at me then, “hers?”

I smiled as I held my hand out to the side gesturing to the person he couldn't see because she was hidden by a wall. “Eri-chan~” I cooed softly to the girl.

She walked out quietly and grabbed my hand I could feel her calm aura as she took my hand which pleased me, I’m glad Mirios earlier distress didn’t upset her. But I made sure to use my quirk once again to radiate the happiness I felt by her being here outwards into the two people around me.

“Hello” she said softly.

“Eri-chan!” Mirio said happily and moved and pulled the small girl into a hug, a gesture she had become more adjusted to the longer she was around people like me and him. She was still working on smiling and embracing others back but we slowly got there.

It took a lot of work from all parties. “But I thought Aizawa-sensei said she had to-” he began but I stoped him.

“ah ah ah none of that, Eri-chan is perfectly fine. Besides with me around everything is fine! you forget you may be part of the top three but I’m the number four student in our school for a reason!” I said smiling as I did my signature two finger salute making sure to add a small flourish of my wrist knowing it made Eri feel happier even if she still couldn't express it.

A quirk of my own quirk, it pays of being able to feel her emotions as well as to radiate my own.

“Our quirks are compatible, hers being largely tied to her emotions and mine being well, emotions.” I said shrugging with a smile. I saw the tension leave his shoulders, just like the moment she stepped out from behind the wall. I even thought maybe there was a hint of light back in his eyes... just maybe.

“So I got special permission from the hospital and the school so I have the day off to take her out and I want you to come with! Nothing to out there like I know you usually like, but Tamaki did give me a few great ideas!” I said beaming at him glad I could come up with a plan.

Mirio smiled then and we set off to go about our fun outing with Eri. We first took her to a small market and her eyes absolutely glowed when we found the fruit stand, I never thought I would see someone get so happy over an apple.

So I quickly bought her one and it was worth every last scent once I bought her a whole bag just to see that smile, money wasn't always the easiest thing to come by for my family but I knew if she asked I would gladly buy her the world.

As we where walking through the little market I was happy to see my thoughts where correct. It was mostly empty due to it being the middle of a Wednesday morning. There was a slight chill but that changed once Mirio placed his scarf around me.

“Here, I can see your shivering.” He said smiling at me his blue eyes sparkling closer to what they used to.

My cheeks burned red but I shook it off, “t-thank you.” I stuttered. As we continued walking I saw the Ramen shop me, him and the other members of the top three used to go to. Instantly I had an idea.

“Eri-chan,” I said smiling down at the girl who's eyes practically glowed in wonder at the market. She looked up at me waiting for me to continue “Have you ever had Ramen?”

At the mention of his favorite food Mirio perked up, “Ramen? Oooo I love Ramen!” He said happily.

Eri shook her head, “No but I would like to try it if Lemillion likes it.” she said and I smiled at her as I grabbed her hand as well as Mirios out of habit. But as if I had been burned I quickly ripped my hand away from him.

“S-sorry.” I stuttered quickly about to go into a fit of apologies, an old habbit I had broken thanks to our relationship but had fallen back into since it had ended.

“No need, its alright.” He said grabbing my hand, I smiled widely. We went into the Ramen shop ordering all of our food, Eri getting the same thing as me but Mirio and her ended up sharing quite a bit anyways, it was safe to say this food would be a new favorite for her.

And after a long day walking around secluded parts of our city it was time to return home. You three walked back to UA without thinking, after all Mirio and you had called it home the past few months but he faltered upon entering.

“Oh,” he let out a slightly nervous chuckle, “guess I actually go back to my own house huh?” I looked down sadly not ready for the day to end.

I came up with an idea and quickly smiled, “Well im sure the rest of the big three would love to see you!”

The thought of his best friends caused him to smile as well, “Yeah you’re right! I can visit them!” he said sounding slightly shocked.

“You always sound so shocked when I come up with a good plan” I said as I bumped his arm playfully as I smiled.

Out of habit he pinched my cheeks, “Aw can't help it sunshine you're always surprising me!” I basked in the familiarity of the intimate actions but it was quickly ruined as he snatched his hand away. “I-i’m sorry y/l/n-san!” He said quickly bowing I went to reassure him but before I knew it he had hugged Eri said his goodbyes and took off running.

I sighed willing the tears in my eyes away knowing I needed to keep composure for Eri. You smile at her, and it is only tinted with sadness, as you hold a hand out to her. She takes it in her smaller one and squeezes it gently. Its a moment or two of silent walking before she shockingly speaks up first.

“Do you love Lemillion?” She asks softly you look at her shocked, how did she know about that? Of course you all had expressed your love to her but no child should truly be able to understand it enough to pick it up from people who don't blatantly show it.

You wanted to hide it and say no but you never lied to her before so you wouldn't start now, you answered with a simple yes.

“Then why don't you guys kiss and hold hands all the time?” She asks softly.

“well because we-we can't anymore.” You stutter shyly, shocked she even knew of such actions. But you scolded yourself reminding you she was quiet, not dumb.

She seemed greatly confused by your answer, “But why not?”

“Well you see thats a thing couples do and Mirio-chan and I are no longer together romantically.” You stated trying to simplify it.

“Why?” She asks again. Oh ever the child with her curiosity. But this stopped you, you paused mid step and just stood thinking.

Why in-fact did you two break up? You remember driving at the hospital after the attack to find Mirio alone in his room crying, you had heard about his quirk and Sir Nighteyes death so you quickly ran to him pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry m-” but he cut you off.

“Sunsh-” he paused “y/n, we need to talk.” Instant dread filled your stomach. Why would he use your first name? Had something happened and the doctors and Mr. Aizawa didnt inform you about?

“O-okay Mirio, you know I’ll listen.” He tried to speak but closed his mouth, repeating this process several times. “It’s okay take your time.” You cupped his cheek but he shook his head removing your hand as his eyes turned steely and determined.

“I’m breaking up with you.” He said seriously.

“W-what?” The word left as noting but a whimper, “Mirio thats not funny stop joking around.” but I felt it, the determination, the coldness. Things I had never felt aimed my way from him.

“I’m serious. I’m breaking up with you, we are no longer dating we will now be friends, nothing more.” You wanted to protest to scream at him to stop this nonsesne to say it was just the grief but you didnt. You nodded your head doing the thing you hated most.

You shut down your emotions, a power only you had. But this was the only way you could be near him without breaking. “No y/n I need you to leave. I don't want you shutting yourself down.” He spoke as I tried to sit down on the chair.

I stood up then looking to the door, “fine... but im going back tomorrow and theres nothing you can do to stop me, you're my friend,” you looked at him then allowing the smallest emotion through a cracked smile, “I’m not leaving you alone in this.” He nodded and with that you left. You weren't looking and bumped into something.

Looking up you say your favorite loud yellow haired teacher as well as your favorite much quieter black haired teacher.

“Hey hey little listener whats going on?” Instantly you collapsed into him and broke down sobbing, Mr Aizawa removing your quirk so his overly emotional friend didn't get sucked down into the void of your despair with you. After a moment or so he left to go and visit Mirio knowing what the source of your pain was thought the sobbed attempt at an explanation you gave to Present Mic.

You then looked back to Eri and answered truthfully. “I dont know.” I whispered, “I suppose because he no longer felt the same way he did for me before, he had been though a lot of grief and pain its only natural for feelings to change.” I said to her as I tried to keep walking but now she stopped.

“But Lemillion loves you too why would you not be?” You chuckle at her and before you can dismiss her she continues. “he looks at you like Uravity looks at Deku.” At this I stopped walking again, It was very clear the feelings those two held for each other, could she be telling the truth?

“She's right you know?” I hear a deep voice behind me and jump as I throw a punch out behind me.”Woah!” I now realize the man holding my fist is Mr. Aizawa and I immdeatly apologize but his chuckles stops me. “You’re good kid, almost got me and that doesn't happen very often.” he paused “But she is right he does still care for you. While you where crying with Mic I went to him he was... in less than ideal shape.”

“Sensei with all due respect, of course he wasn't in good shape he just lost a father figure and his quirk.” I said as I now picked up Eri to calm her down from my sudden outburst of movement. She cuddled into my neck with a soft hum.

“And he lost his biggest support system. I know you've noticed how he’s been and unlike most I have as well, believe it or not I observe quite a few things. Like how your grades are slightly slipping and you’ve been staying up later and later and how you’ve been zoning out in class.”

I stared at him mouth agape, “H-how?”

“I care y/l/n. I care about all my students wether I admit it or not.” he paused “repeat that to anyone and they'll call you crazy.” I nodded my head smiling and then slowly realized everything he said.

“He loves me.” I muttered to myself. “He loves me!” I said louder. Eri looked at me and I saw a small smile on her face.

“yes he does.”

“I-I have to go!” I said frantically. Eri leaned forward moving into Mr. Aizawas arms.

“Hurry up now. He needs you,” I ran off not even worried about Eri knowing she was in good hands with Mr. Aizawa. “Now more than ever.” Aizawa whispered as he watched her run off thanking him.

Bonus of this scene:

“come on Eri ill take you back.”

“Thank you dad.”

“... you’re welcome.”

*brushes away tears of happiness from cuteness* Anywho back to the story ~Author-chan (no one ever calls me that :( )

As I ran towards the dormitories tears welled in my eyes. I was still so confused and still hurt, why did he leave me?

“Togata-san!” I yelled as I got closer, in my distress moving instantly to his surname. “Mirio-san!” I yelled again when I got no response. I now could see him talking to my other two best friends but I didnt care as I continued to run.

“Mirio!” I yelled. I now saw him spin around and begin sprinting towards me.

“Y/n?! Y/n whats wrong? Are you hurt?!” He asks frantically as he takes my face into his hands turning it each way. I nod my head. “Who hurt you?” He practically grows out.

“Y-you.” I whimper wrapping my arms around him. I feel him tense.

“M-me?” I nod my head. “Wha-what did I do?” He asks pulling away and wiping my tears.

“Y-you left me.” I cried and his face dropped again. “Why? Why did you leave me? Did you not think I would be good for you anymore? Did I do something wrong?” He continues trying to wipe my tears before stopping and giving up.

“I-I thought you deserved someone better, someone with a quirk like Tamaki.” He whispers looking down, “I thought you wouldn't like me anymore because I cant protect you.”

“Mirio you idiot I haven't liked you for years.” I whispered but he didnt look shocked because he could feel what I was about to say it seeped out of every pore of my body, “I’ve always loved you.” I whisper.

“But you loved me when I was Lemillion!” He said quickly and I shook my head.

“No I didn’t, I loved you as Mirio Togata, and then as Lemillion. And you always forget this,” I whisper I pull his head down placing his forehead on my own, “You might not be a hero but you’ve always been mine, just you Mirio. Not Lemillion, just you.”

“y/n I know I hurt you and I don't deserve it but please,” he cupped my cheeks pinching them slightly “please be my sunshine again.”

I laughed showing him a bright smile “You act like you had a choice.” And with that I pulled him into a kiss enjoying the feeling I had been missing these past few weeks.

“I love you.” He whispered against my lips.

“And I love you.”

#mha #mha x reader #big three #mha mirio togata #Mirio #Mirio x reader #Mirio togata x reader #Lemillion #Pro-hero #angst #fluff #mha angst #mha fluff #mirio fluff #mirio togata #togata mirio x reader #togata mirio

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inmyarmswrappedin · 4 years

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hello! :) I was wondering what was your opinion on the davenzi argument and I love you scene at the pool (episode 9 clip 7)? Did you like it or not really (including everything like acting, pacing, what they said, etc)

Hi anon! 🎷 Lmao I hope you weren’t looking for a critical opinion, because that’s one of my favorite s3 scenes. I really like it by itself, as a remake of O Helga Natt, and also for teenie characters being dumb reasons.

Okay so:

David’s voicemail for Matteo: While I consider Even’s text a straight up s*icide note, I think David’s voicemail plays with the idea of, is it a s*icide note or is it a goodbye message? If Matteo goes to the pool, is David going to be there, or will it be too late (in both a s*icide and a goodbye sense of late)? I also obviously love that David finally shares in Matteo’s worldview. Throughout the season, David has denied he believes in fate, but in this message he says that fate wasn’t on their side, i.e. he has given the idea that he and Matteo are fated some thought. Later in the scene, David also asks Matteo to run away together! When he previously said that he’d run away alone in the case of a catastrophe. Like, this is David internalizing Matteo’s worldview and using it to express himself.

When the season was dropping, and because the dynamic in so many of their scenes was reversed compared to Isak and Even, I thought that it would be David who would tell Matteo he’s not alone. Matteo was the one to say he didn’t want to be alone, so it just made sense to me that they’d change this up. I also have an unpopular opinion, which is that I think The Weeknd’s Call Out My Name was a fitting song for the soundtrack and the clip it showed up in. The thing is, Matteo really did make David his priority throughout the season, he dumped Sara for David, he followed David’s lead and only really pushed that one time. When the song says, “falling for you was my mistake,” for me, it’s about the fact that David keeps running away from him despite Matteo being 100% in and Matteo being clear that he hated being abandoned, not about David being trans. (I mean, I get my interpretation doesn’t totally make sense in the context of this scene, but I love the song and I think my interpretation still works, so let me have this thing please lol.) All this to say that I felt Matteo had a right to be “what the hell, David!!” in this scene, because at this point Matteo has been running after David for around 24 houts, and David’s like, “I guess this is goodbye :(”

I don’t think Call Me By Your Name deserves a bop such as Visions of Gideon, so I’m pleased that Druck reclaimed it for David and Matteo, who are ten times more deserving than Elio and Oliver. I also think it provides enough tension for the scene, because it’s a goodbye song, and at this point we don’t know if David’s even going to be at the pool.

But it turns out that it was just a goodbye note, and maybe not even a goodbye note. Maybe it was an “I’m sad please come find me :(” note. (Sidenote to say that I love David’s flair for the dramatic lmao.) I would love to wax poetic on what David’s state of mind was at this point, like did he think Matteo would show up? I think he at least hoped Matteo would, since he gave Matteo every clue to find him. And it’s not like he was getting ready to leave lmao, he was just chilling and doodling.

Anyway, while I think Matteo had every right to say, “are you kidding me!!” I also want to make it clear I don’t discount David’s pov. From a narrative pov, I think it was really important that David gets to talk in this scene. In Skam, we get a lot of little hints and clues as to how Even feels about what went down in Elvebakken the previous year, including his snapping at Sonja in the Halloween clip. This is the first and only time we get to hear about this part of David’s backstory (since it wasn’t part of Amira’s season, unlike Even’s in Sana’s). So, in episode 1 we were told that David switched schools with only a few weeks of his last year left, and in this episode we get to hear exactly why.

And also, like, I love that David gets to be angry about how unfair it all was. In fiction, victims of bullying (and esp LGBTphobic bullying) can be presented as sort of martyred saints who don’t get to have an emotion other than sad. I think anger is a very valid emotion if deployed in the right moment (obviously I’m not advocating for Sporty Spice to continue being an asshole lmao), and in general I’m a fan of marginalized characters getting to be angry.

Again, I could wax poetic forever about how David has seen himself as going it alone all this time, even as he’s been picking up friends (and a boyfriend) left and right. I don’t necessarily think that Matteo’s friends would’ve organized a whole meeting to help David out, if they hadn’t known that David and Matteo were a thing, but like... That’s it. The fact that David responded to Matteo, that he opened up to Matteo, that he made Matteo visibly happier, resulted in Matteo’s friends caring about David in return, which is very true of real life. David had every reason not to open up to Matteo given his experiences, but he did and he trusted Matteo and, because of that, he was rewarded!!!!

And yes, from their very first scene together, it was very clear that Matteo thought David was the coolest guy he’d ever seen. Love all the throwbacks in this scene.

Matteo also has experience with going through really rough times, but he has always disliked being alone, and in the course of the season, he’s also learned that isolating himself only makes things harder. It’d be so easy for the writers to have Matteo say, “it’s all gonna be okay,” but that’s not what Matteo is saying. Matteo says yes, going back to school after you were outed is going to suck, having to confront Neuhaus is going to suck, it’s not going to be okay or easy, but this isn’t how the story ends or how your school year ends, because I’m not leaving, and I love you and I want to be with you and by your side. Everything is going to be awful, but we’re going to face it together.

And I just fucking love that David was having a breakdown five seconds ago, and when we see him again after Matteo says he loves him, we can see by his profile that he’s grinning from ear to ear. Knowing that he’s loved changes everything for him, as it should!! He’s not a shitty vampire cast aside from society! He, David Schreibner, is loved by the person he loves in return!!!!!! I loved that the pics Matteo posted after this scene show David making dumb faces because that’s what first love is like babey! Catastrophizing one second and all smiles the next.

Annnd the episode closes with the same song it started with, Hozier’s Take Me To Church. Only this time it’s the chorus, which is celebratory and joyful, as opposed to the contemplative tone of the first verses.

#ask #druck #this ask makes me want to JUST do the episode reactions I've wanted to do all this time lol #Anonymous

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rnboolive · 4 years

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hello @certifiedboyf , I was your gifter for @danganronpavalentines and I hope you enjoy this fic I made, have a wonderful day !!

If people were more like businesses, Byakuya would have this relationship thing in the bag. But alas, people are far more complicated than any private property he owns.

Luckily for him, Makoto didn’t seem to mind one bit. For months, the two took their sweet time, more on Byakuya’s part on accepting that relationships do in fact involve feelings. Tch. Poor, sweet Makoto, out of all the people in the world, he had to be head over heels for Byakuya.

If he ever could, he would present a powerpoint on everyone he knew that would definitely be better for Makoto. But, Makoto wouldn’t even heed it and just compliment him or something. Stupid.

Not only that, he can’t just buy things for him. He’s way too nice to accept anything, and just gives it back. And he says this every time,

“Being with you is enough for me!”

Idiot. You know how much people would give up for a gift from a Togami? How dumb could you be to not realize? He had every antique, every jewel, every delicacy, that there ever was and he always had a reason to reject it. Which gave Byakuya even more reasons to buy him something else.

Which is how he ended up this predicament. For some ungodly reason, Byakuya was coerced to laze around the city as some sort of bonding exercise. His classmates were far scattered for him to even bother to look for them, and Makoto was nowhere to be found. Sighing, he takes a slow sip from the cheap latte he purchased a while ago, glancing at the boutique in front of him.

If you thought Byakuya was gonna ignore this opportunity to buy Makoto another present, you’d be wrong. Looking around, he snuck into the boutique, browsing the fragile trinkets and jewelry. Finally stopping, he found a treasure among the trash, a relic for the ages. Hidden deep within the shelves, was a locket. It was the stereotypical miniscule, golden kind but he knew it was the one.

Grinning to himself, he began to proudly stride towards the counter, paid for the locket, and exited the store. Upon exiting, an enticing aroma took him by surprise, turning to find a bakery not too far. This trip may have been worth it after all.

“Come on Makoto! Or we’re going on ahead!” Sayaka states, causing Makoto to snap out of his daze, catching up to the girl in question.

“You seemed to be thinking about something, what’s up?” Sayaka asks

“Nothing really...I just have that feeling”

“What feeling?”

“Byakuya must’ve bought me another store again”

Now, he didn’t really buy a whole store. Just enough sweets and gifts that would last a lifetime, there was a clear difference. Proud of himself, Byakuya texts Makoto to meet up in the plaza whenever he has the chance.

This is where the realization kicks in. He bought him more stuff again.

Yikes.

He was currently sitting at the water fountain, his eyes darting from his phone to the corner just in front of him, tapping his leg as he waited for the other boy to show up. Normally he would chastise himself for acting in this foolish manner, but his head was too muddled to argue with himself.

Why even bother in the first place? He’ll reject them again and say something really sappy, not like he ever hated the sappy words. On the contrary, Byakuya seems to take anything Makoto has told him to heart, drinking up the sweet nothings he’d whisper in the more silent moments. Though he would rarely admit it, Makoto always told him the words he wanted to hear, and he would respect his boundaries and never went too far. His aura is so calming, it almost moves him to tears.

How can someone so kind, so selfless deal with such a selfish monster?

Putting his thoughts aside, Byakuya glances at his phone to find a message from Makoto, telling him that he’d be at the designated area in a few minutes.

“You know I never get why you reject Byakuya’s gifts” Sayaka notes, Makoto looks at her quizzically

“What makes you say that?”

“Well Byakuya...isn’t the most touchy feely person. Maybe buying you stuff is just how he appreciates you”

Makoto was well aware, but it still felt ingenuine. Prying Byakuya about his personal life is a feat in and of itself, so he’s grateful for anything. But, he wishes that Byakuya knows he values him as a person, not just a name. However, the progeny’s heart is solid frozen, it won’t budge anytime soon.

“I know but, what if he thinks I only want him for money?” Makoto asks simply

“We both know he’s not that stupid” Heading off, Makoto is left to chew on Sayaka’s words.

When he looked up again, Byakuya found Makoto awkwardly waving at him. With a small smile, he begins to make his way towards the other. Interlocking their fingers, the two head off in silence. The silence eating up the previously warm atmosphere, Byakuya was starting to feel like a child who was a second away from getting scolded for their behavior.

“You got more stuff” Makoto starts

“..And if I did?”

“I don’t find it to be that big of a deal you know? Just…”

“Just?”

“Do you think I use you for your money?” Makoto asks flatly

Taking both of his hands, Byakuya begins to chuckle. He kept at it, his quiet chuckle turning into an obnoxious laughter, filling in the chilling atmosphere, seemingly ignoring Makoto’s protests

“This isn’t funny Byakuya!”

“I know, it’s hilarious!” catching his breath, he cups Makoto's cherry cheeks, giving him one of his rare smiles.

“If you did, I don’t think our relationship would’ve lasted that long” he laments, he goes in for a quick peck, leaving the other frozen on the sidewalk.

“Hey hang on!” he catches up to the taller, grabbing his wrist.

“Are you sure?”, turning around, his eyes brighter than they’ve ever been, and with a smug grin on his face he responds

“You tell me Naegi”

#danganronpa valentines #naegami #makoto naegi #byakuya togami #makoto x byakuya #danganronpa fanfiction #writers on tumblr

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hobihobihoe · 4 years

Text

Unruly - Part one

Obey me! + Mafia BTS + 0T7 au x reader

2.5k ish

Warnings : 18+ slowwww burn ~ eventual smut ~ descriptions of blood and violence ~ cliche city ~ alsooo uhh if you care about grammar this is not 4 U cause imma dumb bitch <3

Andd ahh this is the first thing i’ve ever written so its probably kinda shit.. :)

Great. Just great. Why did you agree to this again? Oh yeah because you’re a good person, or at least you’re trying to be. You’d just agreed to cover Rosies shift, apparently she was sick, but what you hadn't taken into account when you’d agreed to work was that Rosie had been booked to a private venue, well I guess now you had been booked to a private venue. You hated working private venues, as a bartender people would sometimes assume you provided the drinks or that because you weren't working at your company bar you would join in with shots or maybe give them a discount as you were a lone ranger incharge of yourself and providing alcohol for the night. One thing a private venue did mean though was money, getting paid nearly twice the amount you usually did as well as hopefully generous tips from wealthy clients. But still you weren’t quite sure three times the work was worth only double the pay, but well… fuck it you’ve gotta be a good friend/colleague and well person to Rosie so you just have to suck it up.

Thankfully it was a Saturday night so you didn't have to work it after being at university all day. So you bid farewell to the library you had been pretending to study at and headed home to get changed into something more presentable because a hoodie three times your size and leggings covered in dorito dust probably wouldn't fly at this kind of event.

As you opened the door you heard the crocky meows of your little baby, Zuki. He was an all black rescue cat that you'd adopted two years ago, when you’d started university, as a companion and partly because as soon as you saw his cute little face you were screwed and had to bring him home. You bent down to stroke his head and scratch behind his ear just the way he likes, which results in him vibrating with loud purrs that soften your heart. “Okay baby I love you but I gotta go get ready” Zuki looks at you with annoyance now that you've cut his pampering session short, he's such a spoiled little brat you think to yourself, but as he follows you into your bedroom with his tail high in the air and a slight sway in his steps you can't bring yourself to care. He is just too damn cute.

Now donned in your crisp white shirt and black dress pants you tame your hair enough so that it resembles a neatish bun, you say goodbye to your fur baby and head off to your car on your way to hopefully a nice paycheque.

When you arrive you're greeted by Jae. He leads you to the bar and tells you to ask him if there's anything you need. Okay so far so good, you've just gotta make yourself familiar with any specialised drinks on the menu and the rest should be smooth sailing. About 10 minutes after you arrive a large group of men appear, they sit down on two separate sides of the long table that takes up most of the room, they then send two men from each group respectively your way. Game time you think, the man that reaches the bar first is sweating noticeably, his black hair sticking to the front of his forehead matting the hair that it encompases. “sweetheart get me 6 doubles of gentleman jack over ice and 2 dry martinis”, you smile at him, so thankful that you wouldn't have to make any cocktails. They were time consuming and required a lot of faf essentially and a lot of cleaning up, “of course sir” you say as you smile at him, he barely acknowledges you as he goes to sit at one of the stools that lined the bar. As you get to making his drinks you hear the clearing of someone's throat, you look up and realise it was the other man that you had been coming over. You nearly choke on your spit at the sight of him. His pastel pink hair is delicately framing his cherub-like face, “Miss?”, oh shit you’d zoned out, “Oh i'm so sorry I missed what you said completely '' you admitted shly, he just gave a cute little chuckle. “ Its okay angel” you started to blush at the use of such an affectionate nickname “I asked if I could have 6 manhattans and a sex on the beach” great fucking coacktails you signed internaly, “Of course sir” that earned a smirk from him, you were just being professional, shit professional you had to remind yourself to focus on making the drinks as your traitorous eyes kept lingering in the area surrounding him.

As you finish preparing each individual drink you place them on the bar so the men can take them to booths. Just as you were setting down the final cocktail you brush fingers with the pink haired man, “oh... um” you say prepared to give him an apology but as you look up and meet his eyes you seem to lose your ability to form any kind of cohesive sentence “Jimin, angel, my names Jimin” he states “oh uh, Jimin I hope you enjoy your drinks'' you feel like a pathetic teenager again unable to talk to the pretty boy at the party. “I'm sure I will angel” he throws over his shoulder as he walks back to the group of men he’d emerged from, what was it with him saying that nickname that just made you giddy. God I really need to get out more you thought, maybe you could go out tomorrow as you wouldn't be working since you covered rosies shift, maybe then you could get some real action and should hopefully suasiate you for a bit. Ugh it's like Jimin had awoken something within you, which usually you’d be interested to explore, but considering that you were at work you were gonna just have to put his beautiful face to the back of your mind for when you got home later and could relax properly. Zesh should you feel creepy? No its not your fault that what was practically sex on legs was going about all unobtainable, thats what your imagination and your trusty vibrator were for anyway.

An hour later and you've made exactly three more drinks, wow, maybe if you stare at the champagne flute for another 10 minutes you'll unlock its secrets and it will be more interesting. Just as you were debating wiping down the bar for the hundredth time you hear chairs being pulled out and moved loudly. You look up to see that both groups of men which were previously amicably sat at the table now have guns aimed at each other. You freeze. You haven't ever seen a gun in person before and there must be well over ten now all presumably aimed and ready to fire. You dunk under the bar as you hear yelling start. You weren't able to focus on what was being said by the men, too busy trying to focus on controlling your breathing. Fuck. that sounded like a gun shot. And then another. You've lost track of how many shots you've heard, lots is the amount you settle on, maybe if you just stay behind the bar and stay quiet they'll forget you’re there and leave you alone. There is a long silence in the room, you try your best to mimic it when you notice the movement in one of the wine glasses that are stacked up behind the bar. Someone pushes the staff entrance to the bar open and strides towards you, gun in his right hand. You start to push yourself backward but are soon met with the edge of the bar, the man is dressed in all red and if it weren't for the specks of blood covering his face you would consider him unbelievably attractive. You seem to have been consumed by these thoughts because you suddenly come back into your physical reality, met with a gun now pointed only inches away from your face. You search his eyes for any kind of mercy or empathy you could try to appeal to, what shocks you is you only see a smoldering fire. You see his finger move on the trigger and close your eyes, you don't want the last thing you see to be a stranger. Just as you were going to try to think of pleasant things and the ones you cheriouish you hear a voice. “Hobi stop” Jimin said rather nonchalantly given your current situation, “Chim just let me tie up this loose end then we can get going” the other man, you guess Hobi? Sneered. Wow he just thought of killing you as an inconvenience, what a dick. “Hobi I think we could use her for something else” “what?” Hobi questioned sternly “well even Yoongi mentioned how good his drink was and we always have to get a new bartender every meeting and it would be easier if we had one who knew who we were so when this kind of shit happens again we haven't got any loose ends” Jimin points out. Hobi seems to consider this for a minute before he moves away in a different direction to Jimin, you try to follow his eye line but because of your placement on the floor you can’t see over the bar. “Joon, obviously the call is yours to make” Hobi announces. “It does seem to be a practical suggestion and Jimin must have taken a liking to her if he stopped you, so I don't see why not” the ominous voice declared. After a second of those words sinking in you realise that they have just decided to take you with them, to take you captive.

You start to shake, turning your head to meet Jimin's eye “no uh..um.no please don't take me” you sniffle “I promise I never saw anything, I won't say anything p-please just let me go home” you can barley make out your own words as they are effectively smothered by your tears and your small gasps for breath as you aren't able to regulate your breathing. Jimin elegantly slides over the bar and bends down to your height “Angel don't be so silly, you're coming with us. You should really be thanking me” he gives you a small wink. That causes a fresh wave of panic to settle over you, you know there's a fire exit further down in the bar hidden within the sinks and stock area, with the spike of adrenaline you start to run towards the exit. It looks like it's going well until you hear a loud bang, then the feeling of the side of your head being hit registers, lastly you notice your eyesight unfocusing before darkness seems to override and then suddenly, nothing.

~JIMINS POV~

“Yoongi was that really necessary?” Jimin akses with a slight frown on his face. The older man shrugs “someone had to do something” Jimin sighs and looks at Jungkook, “it will be easier if you carry her.”

~YOUR POV~

When you open your eyes again you see white, adjusting slightly, you realise your laying on a bed. You sit up and look around the room. There are 5 other beds that you can see, they are all small single beds with a chest at the end of each. You look over your surroundings for a few minutes before you remember the circumstances leading up to you being here. You touch the back of your head and wince when your fingers meet a small swollen bump. You decided you should probably try and leave, poor Zuki is probably waiting for you to fill his food bowl. Wow, you realise in this situation you think of your cat's mortality more than your own, well you guess that's what your life has amounted to. Just as you stand up the door opens. “Oh you're awake now” You look over to see the small older woman who was speaking “Umm.. where am i?” The lady gives you a small smile “You're in the maids room sweetie.” Great that's cleared up nothing, you think bitterly. “Can I talk to whoever's in charge? Please?” You think this is probably your best bet, explain to them that you just want to go hope and hopefully they'll be humane enough to agree with that. “Yes, he wanted me to come and get you anyway” She states as she turns around walking away from the doorway, you start to follow her. As you continue walking through the hallways and up the stairs of this seemingly huge mansion you notice several men standing guard with guns rested in their hands, ready at all times. You start to wonder if maybe your idea is ridiculous as you realise wherever you are and whatever you have gotten yourself involved in may be larger than the small group of men you'd seen at the bar. Your worrying is cut short as the women raises her hand and knocks at a door you have stopped outside off, a short “Come in” is what is answered from the other side of the door, the older women looks to you, “You should go in alone, i'll be waiting for you here” You look at her and then to the door “Uh... thank you?” You’re not really sure what the appropriate response is in this situation but you don't want to be rude, she gives you a short nod and smile.

Once you open the door you're faced with one of the men you'd seen before. He regards you with a very slight smile before he gestures to a chair placed in front of the desk he is sitting behind, you walk over to sit at the chair before you look at him directly. You aren't sure if the bang to the head you had received had caused temporary delusions, but as you look at him you swear you see light radiating out of him. You meet his eyes for a second before you decide they are too intimidating and look away, “You wanted to see me?” you ask meekly, deciding to for now abandon your plea for freedom. “Yes, I did, i'm not sure if you remember why we brought you here so i’ll just go over your role again” he starts “You’re going to be working as our personal bartender, this means you will joins us on outings that we deem appropriate and also make our drinks whilst we are here, at the base” he then moves his face into your eye line so that he can make eye contact “And in return of your services we’ll let you live” he finishes his small speech with a slight smile, as if he had just offered you a job and you weren't being threatened and held captive in this place. You take a few minutes to think over what he had just said, you come to the conclusion that for now faking compliance is probably the safest thing you can do until you are able to find a window to escape. “Who do you mean when you say we?” you enquire, you weren't sure if you should be questioning the leader of this organisation?, but your curiosity had won over any of the other responses you considered.

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mcybank · 4 years

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⇢ WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN ; JJ

summary jj maybank and the reader were together for months previously, and their breakup causes a lot of stress on them since they are from the same friend group. jj begins to realise that he never got over the reader and regrets the way he treated her when they were in a relationship.

pairing jj maybank x female!reader

warnings swearing and angst

too young, too dumb to realize that I should have bought you flowers and held your hand should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance

It wasn’t that you and JJ didn’t speak to each other anymore, you did. Considering the fact that the two of you would label yourselves to be best friends whenever you had to always gave you a sick feeling in the stomach. Considering the fact that the two of you once were so possessive over one another, and now would encourage each other to dance with somebody else gave you a sick feeling in the stomach. You hated it. You loathed it. He wasn’t just your best friend; you planned out cute dates with him, you went to him to speak about your problems, you tried to do everything that you had in yourself to make him happy. And the reason why you’re considered his best friend now? Because he couldn’t do the same with you.

When you were planning your dress for yours and JJ’s six month anniversary with Kie, he was smoking a joint, your six month anniversary date slipped his mind. The time you brought up your upcoming anniversary, he brushed it off and said that he’ll plan it out, all you had to do was wear something fancy, in his words. He had forgotten about it. In fact, when you brought up that you brought your dress a few days ago in preparation for the special day which was just 2 days later, he remembered it. He acted as if he had everything planned, he didn’t. He told you to meet him at a restaurant, one of the best on your side of the island.

You took a seat at one of the tables at the restaurant booked under the name Maybank, waiting for your boyfriend to turn up. You wore a white satin dress that came till your mid-thigh along with heels that weren’t too tall, but still comfortable. Your neck was equipped with a beautiful piece of jewelry from your mother, one that you had never worn but saved it for a special occasion. The multiple texts you sent to JJ got you nowhere. Zero replies.

You saw him. He was outside his house, a blunt in his hand as he lazily leaned his head back. “JJ?” was all you managed to let out, your throat was dry due to how silent you had been over the past hour, and seeing JJ completely worn out and having forgotten about your date, it made your voice raspy. His head whipped to the side at you, at first, he was confused, but once he noticed what you were wearing, his mouth formed an ‘o’ shape before shaking his head. “It was today, wasn’t it?” you couldn’t believe it. He forgot about it. You slowly nodded your head, the tears that were brimming your eyes finally got the freedom they wanted and slipped down your face.

“y/n, I’m so sorry, it completely slipped my mind,”

JJ hated it. He hated calling you his best friend. You were more than that to him, but what he wanted was something he didn’t deserve. Every single time he hung out with you, John B, Pope, and, Kiara, he couldn’t help but admire you when you weren’t looking, before John B or Pope always step in and make a snarky remark about how he lost one of the best things that’d ever happen to him.

They weren’t wrong, JJ knew that. To think that one day, he’d see you pursue another relationship with another man, it made his heart break in pieces. “Look at you, being the biggest idiot in the world,” he whispered to himself whenever he saw you post a new picture or do something like cheer up literally anybody who is down. He knows that he never appreciated you, not as much as he should’ve, and he doesn’t know what he can do anymore.

Your hair was tied into a messy bun and you wore sweatpants along with an oversized t-shirt, something that you’d never really wear when meeting up with anybody. So when JJ saw you in that state, he surprisingly didn’t question it. You felt your heart sink at how he simply sent you a smile, and suggestively looked at your outfit, but never questioned it. You needed somebody to speak to, in fact, you needed to speak to JJ, not anybody else.

“JJ? Can we go somewhere else? I don’t really feel good right now,” you said, it was a few hours after you and the four other Pogues had started hanging out, JJ had his blunt in his hand as he engaged in conversation with John B. “Why’d you come if you weren’t feeling well?” this would’ve been a question that is justifiable, but the harsh way he said it just to brush you off was enough for you to sadly take your hands away from his and John B to look at you concerningly.

The profanities that were thrown around in the middle of your arguments, him treating your personal problems as if they were nothing, it was nothing like JJ. It had eventually got to the point where JJ always considered you as inferior, solely because you were his girlfriend, which never made sense, but to him, it did.

“Don’t you look at me like I’m some monster, don’t do that,” JJ spoke, one of his hands tangled frustratingly in his hair and the other pointing at you. His voice was shaky, and you were trembling. “I never did anything wrong to you, I never raised my hand at you, I always made sure that you were okay—” you were quick to cut him off. “Like when my aunt died? The only person in my life who cared about me died, and you couldn’t care less,”

JJ bit his lip out of anger, he was sure that he could cut the skin in half in the matter of a few seconds if he went at the same rate. “That- That’s not true,” he knew it was true, but how could he admit it?

“All I need from you is for you to be there, JJ,” he was there. He was there for everybody but you. The idea that he had you wrapped around his finger had gotten him to believe that you’d accept anything that he did. The idea that he had you wrapped around his finger had gotten him to believe that you could always be the last person he showed love to, but you’d be able to comprehend that he loved you even after ghosting you for days.

He didn’t go one day without thinking how he’d do things differently if you were still his. All he could wish for was to have another chance with you, for you to forgive him and see him for the boy who you fell in love with, not the boy who broke your heart into pieces.

It was difficult for him to see you every single day and to hang out with you. He loved being in your presence, but what bothered him was how you felt in his. Were you just faking it to keep the friend group together? That was a high possibility for him considering how sweet you always were.

Every time you looked into his eyes momentarily, you could feel your stomach turn upside down. Whenever your eyes melted into his deep blue ones, you couldn’t control the flashbacks in your mind; the good moments with him, as well as the bad.

#jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x you #jj maybank angst #jj imagine #outer banks #obx #john b routledge #pope heyward #kiara carrera

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aestheticaxolotl · 4 years

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Lets Talk About Gunnar Maelstrom

Evil Daddies is where it’s at.

One of the meanings of the word "Maelstrom" is 'A situation of state of confused movement or violent turmoil.

Let me start with Maelstrom, usung the Carmen Sandiego Wiki to break him down as a whole, starting with appearance and personality (Excluding the comments around his action in the show, this will be hard seeing his major inclusion to the story so please bear with me once more as I do this).

Professor Maelstrom is a middle-aged man with pale skin and white hair with a receding hairline. He has broad shoulders and wears a black blazer over a dark gray turtleneck. As stated previously, Maelstrom is seen as being an almost unnaturally pale color, hinting towards possible Albinism.

Now, Middle aged according to the wiki page is between 50 and 60. Seeing the receding hairline and the lines on his face (Also can someone point me to a source about those random chin hairs? Like please I need context).

He obviously has stress and sleep lines. I imagine these are due to his life choices and idiot operatives. His ethnicity is stated as being Swedish but continues to contradict itself when it later states that Maelstrom is from Scandinavia. I think this is to throw the readers and deep show watchers off and it would work better if both ethnicity and race were left as unknown.

Now we move on to the easier things, personality, which is LONG. So let me start writing!

Of the five members of V.I.L.E's faculty, Maelstrom seems to command the most authority and serve as the de facto leader of the group, being the first to speak as well as hand out orders. As one may expect, Professor Maelstrom is criminally insane, which is ironic, considering his forte is psychiatry. Professor Maelstrom often likes to tinker with his patients' psyches and enjoys psychologically evaluating students, much like someone finding joy in pulling the wings off a butterfly. He does possess some level of awareness to his own insanity, though he is quick to brush it off as a mere label that other weak-minded people have given him. He also has an apparent fondness for the more psychotic recruits. In keeping with his name, his main desire is to spread chaos and disorder, with any actual gain being a secondary concern at best. Carmen considered him to be creepy, and rightfully so after he and Dr. Bellum collaborated to wipe Crackle's brain. Professor Maelstrom loathes Cookie Booker as he has no tolerance for her stuck up behavior towards him. He seems to have a fondness for marine life, as his office hosts a giant aquarium filled with jellyfish and other specimens. His use of the term "bait" as a pun is in reference to fishing bait, and in the novel adaptation, it is used twice. Further expanding the psychological exam scene from the show, in the novel, he declares that Carmen gave the "wrong" answer to the Rorschach test, stating that the image was a seahorse. The novelization expanded his sense of humor, though it mentions that even that had a dark and unpredictable tinge to it, showing delight in the lengths that his students would go in order to not be called upon in class. The show does have him throw a small quip every once in a while, often tinged with exasperation at his colleagues' antics or ignorance. He also enjoys making Countess Cleo envious of his fashion style, having asked Le Chevre and El Topo in the "The Fishy Doubloon Caper" to acquire an Ecuadorian Eight Escudos doubloon to be melted into solid gold cufflinks.

As done in my previous post, I will be diving deeper into the statement in the bolded font.

Maelstrom seems to command the most authority and serve as the de facto leader of the group,

I don’t see any major reason for this face besides that there is a level of respect among the Faculty that centers around Maelstrom, seeing as he is one of the psychologically smarter than any of the other members, except Shadowsan but that is a post for another day. He is a very scary character because he is unpredictable, and possibly in the minds of the other, can be blamed for their crimes should they ever had been caught, but this leads me to my second quip with Gunnar Maelstrom.

Professor Maelstrom is criminally insane, which is ironic, considering his forte is psychiatry

When one looks up the term ‘Criminally insane’ we get the following “an accused person that is deemed to be suffering from cognitive illness or fault which frees then of lawful accountability for the unlawful behaviors” from https://psychologydictionary.org/criminally-insane/.

I cannot at all say that I support this terminology on the stance that Maelstrom is more than aware of his action, to the point where he logically makes the choices to leave his fellow faculty behind at the prospect of capture. One cannot say that a “Criminally insane’ person is able to make these choices so quickly and with such calculation as to pack a go bag and hire an escape driver. But I digress.

He does possess some level of awareness to his own insanity, though he is quick to brush it off as a mere label that other weak-minded people have given him.

I don’t think that Maelstrom can stand to be labeled by other people. The exact use of the phrase “Weak-minded’ points me to believe that Maelstrom sees himself as mentally stronger, powerful, and far beyond that of the average person. This points to his class, and I’ll explain this in the next part, being the most critical and important to V.I.L.E as a whole.

His main desire is to spread chaos and disorder

This is WAY too specific to just be a drop in detail. No character is created be be a chaotic mixture, but they are built to SPREAD chaos, and Maelstrom is the perfect character to do this. His favor to Paperstar is a direct jab at this detail about him, she is an element of chaos that he put into play, the disorder of her is why he places her, while the other faculty hate Paperstar, he finds her the perfect wild card.

Professor Maelstrom loathes Cookie Booker

I fully think this is, as the wiki and al of my sources say, Cookie Booker represents the original 1998 Carmen Sandeigo. And the loathing between them is a reference to the original game and books.

He seems to have a fondness for marine life, as his office hosts a giant aquarium filled with jellyfish and other specimens.

Not gonna lie, but I love this detail. The details, that caused me to GO BACK and watch the episodes with Maelstrom, was that the man likes fish. This adds onto the effect that he is rather cold and uncaring towards people, seeing them a thing to observe and keep. I also just love the idea of him having a fish tank and spoiling his goldfish that he named Clyde or something equally related to big time crime, like Al Capone or as said before Clyde.

He also enjoys making Countess Cleo envious of his fashion style

I’m sorry but Cleo and Gunnar challenging each other to see who is better in fashion? I’m sorry but they are the fashion police. Also I think this places WHO he is close to in the Faculty. I am very willing to bet that Maelstrom, who left Coach Brunt to drown and die, would NEVER leave Cleo or Bellum (Possibly) to die because they align more with HIS goals.

Brunt is... Dare I say... THE DUMBEST OF THE V.I.L.E FACULTY

WHAT DOES SHE DO?!?!

WHY IS SHE HERE?!

SHE’S STRONG AND THAT’S IT!

I digress (i used that phrase twice now), I just think his goals line up more with Cleo and (Again, possibly) Bellums’.

Now I go onto my favorite part of these paragraphs, the trivia/abilities. I love trivia/abilities, just because everyone sees this word and they are like ‘oh it’s just dumb facts’. BUT NO! It’s DENSTRAMENTAL to the character and links to their personalities.

He is capable of expertly performing a bait and switch. Professor Maelstrom specializes in psychiatry. He has been shown to have a favorite student, similar to the other faculty, in Paper Star; despite her disregard of the protocol in Mumbai. His grudge against Cookie Booker could be a subtle reference to the hostile relationship that his previous incarnation had with Carmen Sandiego in the 90's cartoon. As shown in the season three episode, The Haunted Bayou Caper, he has a fondness for Halloween.

Most od this is already covered, i know, so I won’t go over what I already did. SO let me just say... I know-

He is capable of expertly performing a bait and switch

I NEED to SEE Maelstrom just- *Pulls and Bait and switch* -STEAL FROM SOMEONE. Like. I could totally believe that Maelstrom is the sleekest, most sneaky, most Swiper is swiping guy in the world. I am okay with letting them tell me this, but NO okay with them not SHOWING ME.

Netflix, I HOPE you see this so you can give me a SHOW on HOW GUNNAR MET MY MOTHER, COUNTESS CLEO.

He has a fondness for Halloween.

Charlie Pants.

Do I need to say any more?

Okay, big ending time. So Gunnar Maelstrom, a deeply interesting character, mysterious backstory that a person can read into, different fun facts that lead to speculation and interest and amazing stories. I love Gunnar Maelstrom’s character, his personality, and his appearance. His effect? 100. His story? 100. His ability to make me rewatch the series? 100.

Thanks for reading this. I’ll have another one out soon! Requests are open

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infinitevariety · 4 years

Text

May Your Days Be Merry

Having never been able to celebrate previously, Aziraphale and Crowley decide to embrace the festive season and make the most of their first December together since the world didn’t end.

Chapter Twenty Three: Love (AO3)

Secrets are revealed when Aziraphale pops by Crowley's flat unexpectedly.

Crowley is bored. It’s a few too many hours early to head to the bookshop. He and Aziraphale have spent time together every day this month, and with the visitors they had yesterday Crowley wants to give Aziraphale time to decompress and be alone with his books.

Which is why Crowley is lounging on the sofa in his flat, his second favourite Christmas film playing on the TV and music blaring from another room. He’s not paying attention to either of them, instead playing a festive edition of Candy Crush on his phone and absent-mindedly sipping on his drink.

Crowley’s eyes glance to the time and he curses internally. It’s still too early to leave. Of course it’s still too early. He only checked the time two minutes previously. He focuses even harder on the little candy canes, Christmas trees, baubles, and bells.

The noise of the TV, music, and game, along with Crowley’s determination to distract himself, in hindsight, is a mistake.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice is loud in an effort to be heard over the various devices, and Crowley suspects it’s not the first time Aziraphale has said his name.

As his eyes move from his phone screen to Aziraphale, Crowley jumps up from the sofa and immediately panics. He wasn’t expecting this. He snaps his fingers, lowering the volume on the TV, music player, and his phone to a more sedate level. Then he glances around the room, remembering the state of his entire flat.

“Crowley,” repeats Aziraphale.

“I can explain!”

“I don’t think you need to, my dear.” Aziraphale isn’t looking at Crowley. His eyes roam over the room as he continues to speak. “I suspected you might be giving me some time to myself, but I missed you. So thought I’d pop by. There was no answer when I knocked so I…”

“Barged in?” Crowley completes for him.

That, at least, draws Aziraphale’s attention. He turns to look at Crowley with soft eyes and a tilted head.

“There’s no need to get defensive, dear. I think this is lovely.”

Crowley physically cringes. “Of course you do.”

“Ah,” says Aziraphale. A look of understanding crossing his face. “The problem isn’t that I like it, it’s that I now know that you like it.”

Aziraphale draws closer to Crowley, smiling. Crowley avoids Aziraphale’s eye. Instead, he looks around at his flat.

At the Christmas tree set up in the corner, with glittery baubles and flashing coloured lights. At the Let it Snow banner hung across the doorway. At the red neon Hohoho sign on his coffee table. At the fairy lights around his television. At the TV screen where Mark is confessing is love to Juliet on a series of signs. At the rapidly cooling mug of hot chocolate sitting by his phone. At himself, wearing a black jumper with candy cane striped words on it declaring Crowley to be Festive AF.

They are silent for several long seconds as Rocking Around the Christmas Tree plays from the other room. Then Aziraphale reaches out to Crowley, grasping his hand and squeezing. Despite himself, Crowley feels reassured by the gesture.

“It’s stupid,” mumbles Crowley as he looks down at his woolly sock clad feet.

“If you think this is stupid you must have hated spending time at the bookshop with me all month.”

“No, angel—” Crowley quickly raises his head to look at Aziraphale, who’s smiling back at him.

“I know you haven’t, Crowley. I know you’ve been having a wonderful month doing festive things with me. I already know you like Christmas.”

Crowley shrugs, but doesn’t speak. He doesn’t count it as conceding the point, but he also knows Aziraphale doesn’t need him to.

“Now, what’s an angel got to do to get a mulled wine around here? I know you must have some on the go—I can smell it.”

“I’ll go fetch you one.” Crowley smiles. “Get comfy on the sofa, maybe we can watch a film?”

“What film is this?” asks Aziraphale, looking at the screen, where Judy is leaning in to kiss John. “It looks nice.”

“Oh, no, that’s just some nonsense rubbish, I wasn’t even really watching it. We’ll find something else,” says Crowley dismissively. Aziraphale might have realised Crowley is fond of Christmas but he can’t find out one of his favourite Christmas films is Love Actually.

He wanders to the kitchen, and by the time Crowley comes back with two steaming glasses of mulled wine, Aziraphale is curled up under one of the blankets unwrapping a chocolate coin. He also has his Santa hat on.

“Nice hat,” says Crowley as he hands Aziraphale his drink.

“Well, I had to match you, my dear.”

Crowley’s eyes widen as he absently reaches up to confirm that, yes, he put his reindeer antlers on this morning. Aziraphale, the beautiful bastard, just beams up at him and wiggles with joy.

“What do you fancy watching, angel?” Crowley scrolls through the Christmas selection on Netflix, hoping for inspiration or for something to catch Aziraphale’s eye.

And something does catch Aziraphale’s eye. Just nothing on the TV.

“Are those my presents?” asks Aziraphale innocently.

Crowley turns to look at what Aziraphale has seen. Off to the side and poorly hidden under a side table are several Christmas gift bags in various sizes. Crowley hasn’t bothered to hide them away properly, because Aziraphale wasn’t supposed to have come over.

“Whether they’re your gifts or not—” And really, who else’s are they going be, when they exchanged gifts with their friends yesterday? “—they aren’t being opened until the 25th.”

“Or tomorrow,” counters Aziraphale, “if we stay up until midnight.”

“Don’t open all your presents while I’m asleep!”

“Don’t go to sleep, then.”

“Or you could sleep with me.”

“I—” Aziraphale seems lost for words.

“I just meant—” Crowley fervently hopes they’re on the same page about this. “—sleep.”

“I—” Some tension seems to leave Aziraphale’s posture. “Yes. Perhaps we can try that.”

“Want to try one of these?” Keen to break the tension fully, Crowley holds out a tray of Ferrero Rocher.

Aziraphale squints at him suspiciously. “Absolutely not.”

Crowley laughs. “More for me, then.” He unwraps one of the perfectly normal chocolates and chomps delightedly on it.

“I’m going to get another mulled wine,” says Aziraphale as he stands up and wanders off to the kitchen.

While he’s gone, Crowley finally settles on a film (Trolls Holiday Special—Aziraphale is going to hate it), and works his way through three more Ferrero Rocher.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale calls from the back of the room.

“Hmm?” Crowley gets up and wanders over to him.

Aziraphale is standing at the card holder Crowley put up a week or so ago, after his windowsill got full. In his hands are a couple of cards that he’d pulled down to read. Crowley peers over his shoulder to see. One is from Roger, the young bloke in one of the lower flats, and the other is from Florence, the old lady who lives directly below Crowley’s. What both cards have in common, Crowley now realises, it that they include a message thanking Crowley for his card.

“Crowley,” repeats Aziraphale, “did you send all of your neighbours Christmas cards?”

“Ngk—yes,” admits Crowley.

Aziraphale turns and looks up at Crowley in wonder. Crowley knows the jig is up. It’s time to be honest.

“You were wrong, earlier,” he tells Aziraphale. “I don’t like Christmas.”

Aziraphale eyebrows draw together and he looks unaccountably sad for a moment. But only for a moment, because Crowley isn’t finished.

“I love Christmas. I told myself I was doing all this stuff for you—the decorating, the films, the traditions… and I was, at first. Making sure you’re so happy is my mission in life. Then, I don’t know exactly when, and I’m sure not even God knows why, but at some point, I just started enjoying it all myself, too. It’s gaudy and full of friendliness and I’ll never like tinsel, but… it’s actually a lot of fucking fun.” Crowley shrugs, not knowing how to follow up his admission.

“I love you.” Aziraphale says it urgently, like it’s been living inside of him just waiting for the right moment to make its escape. Maybe it has. “I love you for loving Christmas, and for so much more. For everything.”

Crowley smiles. If this is what happens when he admits how much he likes something, maybe he should declare his love for dumb shit more often.

“I love puppies and kittens, too.”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes.

“Oh, and helping old ladies across the road.”

“Shut up,” says Aziraphale, before pulling Crowley into a hug.

#good omens #good omens fic #ineffable husbands #ineffable husbands fic #ace ineffable husbands #ineffably festive #fic: may your days be merry #2020 advent ficlet challenge #i wrote this

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overwatch-does-stuff · 4 years

Text

Overwatch: Rehabilitation- Lucio

Summary: Sigma has been captured by Overwatch. And Lucio was not expecting to meet a new friend today, but, uh, whoops. . .

Man, the melody was always so hard to get right. The background noises came easily, along with the beat, but getting the driving notes of a song down was always the most difficult. Lucio looked at his computer screen and sighed. He'd woke up this morning with a burst of inspiration and gone straight to work, not even bothering to check his messages (here at the Watchpoint they sent out a daily message with the schedule and such). He figured that if it was truly important, someone would come get him. No one had came, so he had started mixing tracks just like the old days. But now. . . he was stuck. The song just wasn't coming. He pushed himself away from the desk, rolling backwards on his rolling chair. He spun around until he faced the door. Maybe all he needed was to go for a walk (or a skate, as it was). Maybe he should go ask Bastion for some music inspiration. The Omnic had a natural ear for that kind of thing, and it had gotten him out of many writing blocks before. Lucio grabbed his headphone (he didn't go anywhere without his tunes) and skated out of his room. Torbjorn's workshop, where Bastion was likely to be, was practically across the base from where the living quarters were. He didn't mind though. More time to think. The hallways he was skating down started to look more and more empty. Messes he could have sworn were there yesterday were gone. Did Winston go on some sort of cleaning binge this morning? That wasn't really in the gorilla's character, though. Perhaps he simply took a wrong turn. No one else was to be found, either. The halls, at least this hall, was completely empty. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he should have checked the daily message before he left. Something weird was going on. A faint sound of muttering came from around a corner down the hall. Finally, people! Lucio sighed in relief and skated towards them. As he got closer, he couldn't make out what the voices were saying, but he recognized one as being Tracer's voice. The other voice he didn't recognize, but then again, he was new to the Watchpoint and still didn't know everybody yet. "The stabilization chamber will do you wonders, I just know it!" Lucio could finally make out what Tracer was saying. "But, these are my stabilizers." The other voice replied with a nervous tinge. "Well then, they aren't very good ones then, hmm?" Tracer's giggle echoed down the hall. "Winston's built this one in his lab to completely stabilize you. Then you could take those ones off, and he could study them! He built my harness, you know. I'm sure he could build yours better." Lucio approached the corner. Tracer came around it. Lucio gave a quick wave. "Hi, speedster! How's it-" Her face went pale and she quickly glanced behind her. At the same time, from around the corner came the Talon superweapon. Lucio stared in shock. It was just like the pictures he'd seen of the mission. The man was floating. Floating! He wore huge shoulder pads, which Lucio had previously assumed to be Talon photoshop or something. No, this man looked as fully intimidating as the pictures suggested. They stared at each other. The expression on- what was his name? Sugma? Ligma? No, it was Sigma, Lucio remembered- Sigma's face looked nervous, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't. Lucio wasn't sure what his own face looked like. He tried to turn it into a smile, and he gave a quick wave. After a few moments of silence, Tracer gave a small cough and finally spoke. "Hi, Lucio. What are you doing out here?" Something was definitely wrong. Tracer called everybody 'luv', unless it was important. Lucio tried to keep his tone casual. "Oh, not much. I was just on my way down to Torbjorn's workshop to see Bastion. What's up with you?" Sigma continually glanced between him and Tracer. The man started clasping and unclasping his hands. "Have you met Siebren before?" Tracer gestured to her companion. "Nope." Lucio turned to him. Dumping caution into the wind, he held out a hand and gave a smile. "Hi, I'm Lucio. Nice to meet you!" Sigma- er, what was that name Tracer had called him? Siebren?- didn't respond, only staring blankly at him. "No handshake? That's no problem, man. Say, are you new here? I haven't seen you around here before." Lucio drew his hand back. What was he thinking?! Of course Siebren was new here! He had been captured, like, a week ago. Lucio wanted to kick himself. That was dumb. Real dumb. "I am new here." Siebren responded quietly. "That's neat. Being new can be kinda scary, but it's nice here." Lucio nodded. "Is that so?" Siebren asked. "Yeah! Overwatch is great, compared to that nasty Talon place you were in. You're gonna love it here, Sigma- er, Siebren." Tracer shot him a fierce warning look, so harsh that Lucio instantly felt a twinge of guilt, but why he didn't know. What did he do? He'd been just trying to say hi! Lucio felt a totally different feeling now. It felt like his stomach was rising into his chest. He looked to Siebren. The man's eyes looked distant, before snapping into a clear panic. "Where am I?" He muttered. "Where am I being taken?" "Shh, luv. It's okay." Tracer put her hand on Siebren's arm. "You're being taken to Winston's lab-" "NO! Not the lab! Please not the lab!" He threw her arm off and backed away. "You've been very good. It's going to be okay." Tracer gestured quickly for Lucio to go before taking a few cautious steps toward Siebren. "You're going to a stabilization chamber. It'll help you calm down." "Not the lab, not the lab. . ." he began to hyperventilate as he repeated the phrase. Slowly, his voice became more singsong-like, and his eyes glazed over. Lucio stayed still. He reached out with his hands. "Hey man, you're alright. Nothing bad's gonna happen to you here." "Not the lab. Not the lab." Siebren sang, before his voice devolved into a quiet hum. Something about the song seemed familiar, but not in a way Lucio could place. "See? It's okay, luv." Tracer approached the man and took his hand. She tugged him, and he limply floated forward. Suddenly, his eyes focused, snapping to Lucio, causing him to flinch. "Do you hear that melody?" The voice sent a chill down Lucio's spine because of its sudden malice. Siebren's face was now twisted into a sly grin. It was the face from the Talon pictures. "Uh, what melody are you talking about?" Lucio tried to keep his voice from squeaking. Tracer came up and shushed him "No, no, the melody's all good. Let's stop talking about it, and Siebren and I should really get going-" "The melody cannot be ignored!" Siebren roared. "It's getting louder now. Louder and louder!" He covered his ears and took a sharp breath. His humming became louder, and as it grew, so did the feeling of weightlessness. Tracer had already recalled down the hall, and was saying something that Lucio couldn't make out. Hollow tones seemed to fill the air, (or maybe he was just imagining it,) and he turned up the music in his own headphone to try and block it out. Wait. Maybe to drown the invisible music out, Siebren just needed a different melody. Lucio tried to skate forward, but the step caused him to bound, as if he was on the moon. Woah. With more gentler steps, he approached Siebren. He took off his headphone and held it out to him. "Hey, man, why don't you give this a listen instead?" Siebren frantically grabbed the headphone and shoved it against his ear. "If you come down here, I can show you how to turn it up." Lucio gestured downwards. Slowly, Siebren lowered himself and sat on the ground. Only then did Lucio realize how high up the man had been floating. Lucio skated to his side. He reached underneath Siebren's hand to readjust the headphone, properly fitting it onto his ear. Sliding the volume wheel, he amped up the tunes. Siebren's head began to bob with the beat of the music. "You like it?" Lucio asked. There was no reply. Siebren began to relax. His breathing steadied and his jaw unclenched. Tracer blinked next to Lucio, tapped his shoulder, and whispered, "hey, we need to get out of here for a while." "Give him a moment." He whispered back. Focus returned to Siebren. It was as if he had just woken up from a dream. He looked around before his gaze settled on their two faces. "This music is nice!" He said loudly. The volume of the headphone must have been a bit loud. "Thanks." Lucio replied. "I wrote it myself." "Did you now? That's impressive." He smiled. "You're very talented." "Heh, thank you!" Lucio smiled back. "Say, have we met before? Your face looks vaguely familiar." He slightly cocked his head. "You two have met, but, you weren't in the right state of mind." Tracer piped in, and Siebren's face fell. "I'm Lucio." Lucio held out his hand again. This time, Siebren took it. "I'm Dr. Siebren de Kuiper. I'm sorry if I. . . did anything to you before." "Nah, you're cool in my book. Music helps me relax as well." Lucio gave a loose shake. "Music and I have a rather turbulent relationship," Siebren looked away for just a moment, "but I appreciate what you've done for me today." "What's your favorite genre?" Lucio asked. "Hmm, I think-" "I hate to cut the conversation short, but we should get going, luv." Tracer put a hand on Siebren's shoulder. "Winston's probably waiting for us." "Oh, yes!" He perked up. "The stabilization chamber. We were heading there right now, correct?" "That's right. Good job remembering." She smiled. Siebren beamed as he floated up from the ground. Seeing him so happy made Lucio smile as well. "Hey, I could walk with you guys. I'm not really doing anything right now." "You would?" Siebren asked. "Sure! You seem like a pretty neat guy." He responded. "Let's keep chatting." "You would, chat with. . . me?" Siebren was quiet, before shaking himself out of it. "I meant, of course. Let's get going." And the three of them walked.

#overwatch #overwatch sigma #siebren de kuiper #rehabilitation!sigma #lucio #overwatch lucio #lucio correia dos santos #this is an old draft of mine that I decided to polish up and finally complete #It's a little short but hopefully it's sweet.#overwatch fanfiction #this is part of a series #it takes place after tracer and winston but otherwise order is not too important #fanfiction

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ymiwritesstuff · 5 years

Text

Purpose

I decided to combine these two requests as they had very similar themes. I hope it’s all right with the ones who requested. Due to my writer’s block I’m not sure if this’ll be good, but I tried my best and I hope you enjoy. Thanks for the request!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 7: Steel Ball Run

Gyro Zeppeli x Reader

Summary: A simple injury shouldn’t affect one’s life too much, but in your case it was unbearable to say the least. The lack of purpose your injury made you feel was enough to completely make you think twice about continuing the race, even with your beloved on your side.

Notes: Small angst, Fluff

Who knew getting injured would bring you such mental stress and pain, almost as bad as the physical kind the injury inflicted. The immense amount of regret you felt now, after your leg was broken by an unfortunate accident was unbearable. Why did you have to act so audaciously and almost get yourself killed in the process? You felt dumb and this was your punishment for your foolish actions. But despite the already grueling physical pain on your leg, your mind was even more troubled. You had refused to retire from the race, -mainly because you couldn’t leave Gyro-, but that decision came with the cost of extreme feeling of distress.

You felt so.. Pointless. Unable to help or do anything in order to not feel like a total burden. The only thing you did was slow Gyro and Johnny down, the latter having his own problems with his paraplegia. The Italian kindly assured you that you were not a mere hinderance and he happily offered to help you with basically everything. Despite his kindness you could’t feel happy. You just.. couldn’t. The sheer fact that you couldn’t do anything like you used to for the next month or so was troubling you so much you barely got any sleep.

The feeling was difficult to describe, but it was enough to completely bring your spirits down making you want to stay behind despite your initial desire to remain by the two males’ side. You didn’t express these thoughts to them though. Instead, you went through them in your head at night, ridding you of any sleep you so desperately needed. The thoughts roamed around your head, teasingly poking at you and only making you feel worse.

Gyro already had so many things to worry about and now he was supposed to help you in your injured state. You had tried to walk on your own but it had always ended in you falling to the ground or Gyro swiftly denying your attempt by carrying you. You loved him and were eternally grateful for his help, but the uneasy anxiety of not being able to do things by yourself was bothering you much more than you thought. You had no purpose. Or that’s how it felt like. Up until this point you had done your utmost in order to help Gyro, maintaining the fast pace that was needed in order to advance in the race. However it felt as though a part of you was missing and would only return once your broken leg finally healed.

You uncomfortably shift in your sleeping bag, trying to get some shut-eye for tonight, though you already knew just how futile the attempt was. With a sigh, you carefully sit up, your face twisting in pain due to your injury. It had been a few weeks but it was still extremely sore, which in a way made you fear that your leg would never fully heal. Your eyes move around the camp, landing on the fire that was now a mere shadow of its former, warm self.

Perhaps you could’ve helped Gyro with that fire if your damn leg wasn’t in the way. You could’ve done so much more. It felt disappointing. Even if your leg would fully heal, these weeks were slow and would undoubtedly leave an negative mark on the race as a whole. Gyro only had so much time to get to the goal of this stage before someone did it before him. And you were the reason for that. Because of you and your stupid actions, your formerly fast pace was now slow as a snail, putting the Italian at a disadvantage. Maybe you should’ve just left. Then, Gyro would’ve at least had a chance.

“You look awfully gloomy.”

The familiar voice of said man catches your attention, causing your (E/C) eyes to look at him. He looked well-rested, despite the late hour. His locks were messy, but didn’t lack any of the beauty you had grown to love. However this time, he’s the embodiment of your failures and regret, reminding you of your darkest thoughts.

He silently gets up and walks to you, carefully sitting next to you. You don’t bother to look at him, already knowing he has taken note of your demeanor. “Wanna talk about it?” Of course he noticed something was bothering you. This is Gyro Zeppeli after all, a man who loved you with everything he had. Your eyes glance him once and then glue themselves on the ground. There he was, offering his aid to your helpless and weak form. His brows frown at your silence.

“Something up with your leg?” He asks, moving his hand to your broken limb in an attempt to examine it. The regretful feeling once again returns. “No.” Your voice is sharper than intended, causing Gyro to retreat his hand rather quickly. “I don’t need help.. Please.. Just don’t..” You struggle to find the right words. He wants to help and you can’t deny the simple fact that you indeed need that help but at the same time you feel so bad.

“I can manage on my own,” You finally say, earning yet another puzzled look from Gyro. “What do you mean? (Name), you can barely stand up and-”

“No Gyro, I have to manage on my own. I hate this.” The uncomfortable feeling was too much to handle so you subconsciously let it emerge from the depths of your being. The man besides you stays quiet, allowing you to continue. “I’m so.. Useless. I can’t help in any way, I can’t do anything,” You finally turn to him with troubled eyes. “I’m just dead weight following you and Johnny.” Your eyes fall on your pathetic leg and you mentally curse at it with all your might. “I should just leave. So you can focus on the race. In this state, I’m nothing but a burden to you.”

Gyro’s heart breaks a tiny bit when the words reach his ears. Did you really think that? He mentally slaps himself for not noticing this slight yet crucial change in you sooner. He was shocked to hear how much this injury was affecting you and wanted nothing more than to rid you of the pain and stress.

“Oh, cara..” He slowly wraps his arms around you, causing you to immediately do the same to him. Despite your grim thoughts regarding a possible departure, your love for the man in front of you pushes those thoughts aside and desires to feel his presence. He places a kiss on the top of your head, soothingly running his hand along your back. “You know you’re not a burden. I’ve told you that many times. And besides, what would I do if you left? There wouldn’t be anyone left to genuinely enjoy my fabulous songs.” His words are altered to sound a lot less heavy with a smile. Gyro gently lifts your head up, your eyes immediately falling on his, as if they were desiring to see them.

His thumb gently caresses the soft skin of you cheek and your hand falls on top of his. There is a small smile on your lips as Gyro’s presence beside you is one of the best experiences you could ever have. His emerald green eyes look at yours with such devotion and love it’s enough to make a tiny blush appear on your face. “(Name),” He says, catching your attention fully as it was previously dazzled by his features. “Do you know why you’re not useless?” He asks, waiting for your response. “Why..?” He chuckles and gently brings his face to yours, inviting you to a loving, gentle kiss that makes all the negative emotions disappear from you.

“Because you are the one who keeps me going. If I lost you.. I don’t know if I would be able to continue the race, or hell, even life.” Your foreheads touch, your arms are around each other in a way that soothes every fiber in your being. His words cling onto you, filling your heart with joy and relief. “And that,” He playfully touches your nose with his fingers, earning a giggle from you that he was secretly hoping to hear as the sound is like calming music to his ears.

“Is your purpose.”

#jjba #jojo #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Steel Ball Run #jojo's bizarre adventure x reader #jjba x reader #gyro #gyro zeppeli #gyro x reader #gyro zeppeli x reader #jjba gyro #jojo x reader #jojo part 7 #reader insert #angst #fluff

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dearosamu · 4 years

Text

DESPERADO - PURGATORIO

SYPNOSIS: she, a dancer with personified problems all the while more that intrigues osamu dazai who came into her life amidst the chaos that is [name] [last name].

WARNING/S: implied nsfw

three - four

dinner was .. entertaining, more or less. but it seemed such a drag to [name].

she hated dazai. she hated letting someone else pay for her. she hated how her younger brother liked him easily out of all people.

though, dazai with any means, isn't good with children. even with yumeno basically flooding him with questions he could easily answer, yet the questions itself were too .. peculiar.

"osa-chan, how did you meet onee-chan?"

"have you two known each other before? onee-chan, why didn't you tell me!-"

"yumeno, no i don't. he's just..an acquaintance from work." [name]'s eye twitched from the sentence that left her mouth.

"hmm," yumeno picked on his cake tart before taking a bite. "whyth ish thathf soth?" his question came out muffled.

"don't talk when your mouth is full, yumeno."

the boy only groaned and nodded before swallowing his food and asking his question more properly. "why is that so? onee-chan and osa-chan seem close.."

[name] scoffed while dazai only chuckled. "mhm, we do seem very close don't we, [name]?"

"don't even consider it."

"oh dear, i dream of it."

"you're gross."

"you're pretty."

"please," [name] rolled her eyes. "flattery won't get you anywhere."

"but i am trying," dazai grinned teasingly referring to what she does for a living. [name] stared at him with disgust, slapping his arm which she only received a stuck out tongue in return. yumeno looked between the two confused.

"onee-chan, what does osa-chan mean by that?"

dazai looked at yumeno with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "well you see yumeno-kun, your osa-chan wants to court your onee-chan, but she rejects me every time!" he dramatically lifted an arm to his forehead.

"dazai.." [name] spoke his name in an irritated tone, wanting to pummel the male six feet to the ground already.

"oh really?" yumeno's lips curved a cheshire grin, tarted with cake crumbs. "do you think she'll accept one day?"

"i hope so," dazai sighed dreamily. "i await for the day i'll get the chance to spoil her rotten."

"don't get your hopes too high," [name] interjected. "what even makes you think i'll ever like you? you're a jerk."

dazai waved her off. "you'll see, mon cherie."

"what's with the nicknames?"

"simply because you are one of a kind."

"har-har, i'm flattered," the woman replies with gritted teeth.

"onee-chan! what are you having anyway? you're not gonna eat?" yumeno interrupted upon seeing the woman only drinking her cold beverage.

"no, i'm not hungry."

"but you should eat!"

"yumeno, no--"

"listen to him [name]~" dazai crooned. "you really should eat. yumeno-kun, what do you want your onee-chan to have?"

"cake tarts!" yumeno cheered.

"big sister can't eat cake tarts, she'll get fat," [name] said, taking a sip of her [f.d.].

"eh? onee-chan, fat?" yumeno blinked. "but onee-chan, you don't care if you eat too much or get fat don't you? isn't that what you said when you ate a big chunk of-"

"ahaha, yumeno that's enough of you," [name] nervously laughed as she covered yumeno's mouth with her hand to stop him from embarassing her any further.

dazai chuckled at the sight. "you worry if you get fat?"

"shut up and no i don't," she denied.

"how cute."

"why are you even here?" the woman groaned.

"because yumeno-kun invited me for dinner." [name] scoffed.

"then can you leave if i ask you to?"

"yes."

"then why won't you leave?"

"because i was invited and it would be rude to come here and then leave so sudden," dazai answered, crossing his arms. "besides, i am hungry."

"you're such an idiot," she huffed.

"why, thank you."

"that was not a compliment."

"if it comes from you, then it is," dazai winked. a vein popped out of said woman's forehead.

"you're really annoying, you know that?"

"countless of times, yes."

[name] only groaned once more for she had to endure this for the entire evening

---

"i'm not your personal favorite, so why did you ask for me?" akutagawa asked dazai slightly confused but amused at the situation. dazai only responded with a light groan before slumping on the leather chair. "my little kitten is a bit off-put at the moment," he pouted. "i don't really favor anyone else here."

"chuuya-san is here you know." akutagawa says in a questioning tone but it sounded more like a statement.

"yeah, but that good for nothing hat rack simply isn't enough to please me. plus we hate each other." akutagawa scoffed. "you should see how much money he makes in a day."

"ah, but i think you provide much better service than him," dazai grinned at akutagawa teasingly, in which the latter huffed at this action. "[name] and chuuya-san may come off as rude to their clients, but believe me when i say they're good at what they do."

dazai exhaled through his nose as akutagawa sat on his lap, running his hands through his brown locks of hair. he came back to the strip club to meet his belladonna for a night out alone. as usual, chuuya was there to bash on him and to insult the male. before leaving, chuuya informed dazai that [name] did not go to work today; something about calling in sick but dazai went on in and called for akutagawa instead. he was conflicted about coming to the strip club but he could not refused for had oda didn't invite him, he wouldn't even be there in the first place.

how oda was able to put up with dazai's perspective of things was honestly impressive since it was no secret that dazai enjoyed oda's view of things since he was less systematic than dazai. he'd often accompany dazai with whatever he had up his sleeve but it's not really safe to say that his plans never had excellent result. its dazai after all.

things went downhill once he got back to his office after having dinner with [name] and yumeno. higuchi had been waiting for dazai to get back to report terrible news that their sales are going down and a few people -- to be more specific, con artists had been scamming people with their products that they previously sold at auctions and it made people believe that the corporation were only after their money and sold fake items in their past auctions.

dazai had been stressed over by his colleagues and needed to cool off, though thinking of ways to somehow restore the mafia's reputation and to get rid of the people who were dumb enough to even try and bring down the mafia.

"think you can handle it?"

"psh, you called for me of all people," akutagawa rolled his eyes before placing a chaste kiss on dazai's head. "but i promise to make you feel good."

still, it was weird to see [name] -- even akutagawa stri- dance for him. he'd even expect it to himself that he'd be denied of his desires, but it was still given to him with little difficulty. he was a mess inside.

"you know, it's not like you to switch out on dancers."

"needed a change," dazai mumbled. "is that a problem?"

akutagawa pursed his lips. "not really, it's just that when i used to be your regular, you wouldn't let anyone touch me," he placed a hand on dazai's broad shoulders. "you were possessive."

"that was back then." dazai growled lowly.

akutagawa hummed. "what's on your mind?"

"nothing that i'd like to speak about." akutagawa sighed heavily. "i'd press on you to tell me, but you've always been stubborn." it was a trait he and [name] both shared.

"always have, always will." dazai stated with a close eyed smile.

"..right since this isn't a therapy session." akutagawa deadpans. dazai placed both his hands on akutagawa's thighs and hips, knowing he had permission to.

"i trust that you'll get rid of all my stress away?"

"like i said before, i promise i'll make you feel good."

---

oda patiently waited for dazai, knowing he always takes longer on his time -- specially if it's with akutagawa. he knows he never really keeps his meetings 'formal' with the younger male. dazai stumbled out of the black curtains looking very much disheveled then he was when he entered the strip club, his neck tie missing and a few bruise marks were on his neck. they were small, but visible enough. a sly grin was on his face which reminded oda of a cat.

"had fun?" oda downed on his third shot of vodka.

"you bet i did," dazai snickered as he stumbled to the stool next to oda. "can i have some of that special sake you keep at your place? you know how much i love those."

"sure. when you're much more sober that is," oda shook his head. "you probably had akutagawa hit you up with heavy shit."

"oh, come onn!! it was only a little~!" dazai slurred, throwing a hand over oda's shoulders. "it's not like i got overly high again!"

"tell me that again once you're actually sober would you? this is why i always give akutagawa head warnings." he removed dazai's hand from his shoulders, making the brunette whine and slump on the counter top. oda held a hand against his temple and massaged it, muttering things about dazai not listening to him again of the sorts.

"come on odasakuu! not even a little bit?" dazai pouted as he turned his head sideways from the counter to face oda.

"no."

"please?? i swear i'll only get one shot!" dazai insisted, shaking oda's left arm. oda groaned before reluctantly agreeing to dazai's request. ".. fine, but don't blame me if you can't get home."

"relax! i can take care of myself just fine."

"i'll message my assistant then," oda huffed, taking out his phone and texted his assistant to bring a bottle of sake to his office later. dazai hummed, twirling his index finger on oda's glass of tequila.

"he's still around?"

"you bet." oda tapped away one his phone. after a few seconds, he slipped it back into his pocket and turned to dazai. "chuuya told me you didn't visit your favorite?"

"she would not appreciate seeing me here," mumbled dazai. "plus she didn't even go to work today."

oda let out a soft chuckle. "you think she ever did? that girl hates your guts."

"it gets worse," dazai groaned, standing up from his seat and heading towards the exit. "i'll tell you later at my office."

"still want to keep on leaving people hanging?"

"i'm just a poor man, odasaku."

"please, you just got laid and run a company. you're basically the definition of spoiled."

".. quiet you."

---

oda poured a minimum amount of sake on dazai's glass, who accepted it with glee. he downed on it and sighed in content. "you keep the best stuff, odasaku. why don't you ever give me some?"

"wouldn't want the risk of a suicidal man holding a bottle of sake running around the building naked .." oda muttered, taking a seat on one of dazai's office couches.

"hey! i do not get that tipsy! i'll have you know that i hold my liquor very well." dazai boasted, holding a hand to his chest.

"sure," oda leaned onto the coffee table, placing his chin on his interwined fingers. "anyways, humour me already with what you were supposed to tell me."

"well, i ran into [name] into the mall yesterday with this kid--"

"she has kids?!"

"jesus odasaku, no!" dazai exclaimed. "it's just her little brother.. i think.." dazai said lowly.

"god, dazai," oda huffed. "you're such an idiot."

"why are so many people calling me an idiot??" dazai sulked.

"because you are one," oda shook his head, sighing. "do they have any caretakers?"

"no. [name]'s the one taking care of her little brother."

"what did you do this time?"

"i just ran into her in the mall since i was hurrying to our business meeting, but her little brother ran into me and asked between two things he wanted to buy. [name] didn't want me to talk to him but he asked me a question and i gave him an answer. i also insisted that i pay for yumeno's sweets instead and later then he invited me for dinner and i made [name] eat. i basically paid for her entire day." dazai explains.

oda sunked even further into the cushioned couch. "you really are an idiot .." he muttered, shaking his head. "first of all, you pay her ridiculous amounts of money just for her body -- which, in her eyes, is already degrading on it's own -- and now you pay for her too?"

"i don't get what's the problem here," dazai mumbled. "i have the money, she needs the money. it can work."

"no, dazai. it doesn't work that way." oda scratched the back of head, thinking of a way to explain the situation thoroughly. "think of it this way; [name] and yumeno were abandoned by their parents at a young age for whatever reason and that left [name] to raise her little brother by herself. she struggles with financial problems as she had no one to support her and her little brother."

"and what you're meaning to say is?"

"she dislikes the fact that you figured out the limbing situation she is in. and possibly only giving her more money out of sympathy. she doesn't want to connect her home life to her job."

"but i'm helping her, aren't i?" dazai grumbled, frustration slowly building up.

"in her case, she feels as if you're intruding," oda frowned. "it really is none of your business to be sticking your nose around what she does in her personal life and her connections with people." oda poured a small amount of sake on his glass and took a quick gulp.

"you really think that's why?"

"hey, i'm not entirely sure. it's just an analysis i have figured from what you've told me." he shrugged.

"then why won't she take me?" dazai pouts. "i have the money that she needs to live the life she wants for her and her brother. it seems too easy."

"that's probably just from her nature," oda chuckles. "now, about that plan to rebuild our reputation and to get rid of the con artists ..”

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu #dazai scenario #dazai fic #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #desperado #oda sakunosuke

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