#well. really thinking about the autistic coding of that man. especially in the way that he communicates

[amalthea-13]

Stolas and his Happy Pills

I need you all to stop what you are doing. Usually this fandom does not give me a reason to be upset, but for hell's sakes can we please stop demonizing Stolas's use of antidepressants.

The term Happy Pills is a slang term to refer to the medication. In an article by Elev8 Center they note;

"Happy pills, also known as mood-enhancing or happiness-inducing substances, are medications that are commonly prescribed to help manage various mental health conditions. These medications aim to improve mood, reduce symptoms of depression or anxiety, and enhance overall well-being. " (Elev8 Centers)

Later on further explaining how they help;

"The term "happy pills" is often used colloquially to refer to medications that are primarily prescribed for mental health conditions. These medications work by targeting specific neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin, dopamine, or norepinephrine, to help regulate mood and emotions." (Elev8Centers)

The pills that Stolas is using is important to his overall mental health and therefore should not be treated like- some "phase" in his life. Antidepressants are incredibly important to individuals with depression or anxiety or a number of other conditions.

Especially an individual who is a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM. I feel like you all are casually forgetting that factor and it is genuinely pissing me off.

I need you all to realize that he is more prone to anxiety and depression BECAUSE of his trauma and therefore his use of "Happy Pills" should not be thrown aside or treated like its not important to Stolas's growth.

While it has been amazing to see Stolas express himself and be more sassy or angry, this is not his usual behavior.

Since Mastermind we have seen Stolas have a MELT DOWN on SCREEN in front of us.

He has become much snippier and acted in ways he has never before.

Stolas's mood was never like this before! He isn't acting this way because he is free but due to his depression!

Add into the fact Stolas is more than likely ADHD or Autistic coded!?

As someone with ADHD our moods can chop and change on the dime, but when you have depression it is 10 times worse, how do I know!? I live with it and I'm not medicated for either!!!

Stolas is not himself right now and as much as I love him being more vocal, he was like that prior to being off his meds;

Stolas can be that strong, sassy badass without being off his meds! He can still be that awesome man who respects himself while looking out for his own mental health!

No one should EVER be shamed or seen as "weak" for taking antidepressants. As someone with depression and knowing I never got treated, I wish someone gave a fuck enough to help me get treated.

Stolas needs these things so he can function normally. If he has ADHD or Autism, more so than neurotypical individuals! Because we experience a nifty thing called "executive dysfunction" which can be heavily influenced by our mood, a.k.a. DEPRESSION HAS A SWAY ON THAT SHIT!

As much as I appreciate Blitz, he cannot fix Stolas. Especially because he keeps stressing Stolas out.

I love Blitz, but he is not equipped nor is he himself in a good mental place to "fix" anyone. Especially because depression cannot be "fixed", that's not exactly how it works and I need ya'll to stop talking about depressed people like we're broken wind-up dolls.

We're people, and like Stolas we may need medication to thrive.

Therefore, that should be respected and not treated as something Stolas needs to "throw away" because Blitz's love "cures" him.

Really fucked when you think about it.

[gender-luster]

thinking about that fictional traumatized autistic middle-aged man again

[elexuscal]

I watchrd the murder bot show. I heard some book fans think it’s nonbinary and some argue it likes it pronouns. Why? Isn’t it dehumanizing? And is the guy who forced it to Murderbot to make eye contact, via orders ableist? I can see why book readers think it is autistic coded. I feel weird calling a nonbinary-coded, autistic-coded lifeform it. Does it really prefer those pronouns? I read on tumblr thay apparently it does. I personally don’t prefer it/it’s pronouns, but not all enbies are the same.

Hiya!

I suppose it's not surprising that an ask like this would show up, if not in my inbox, than somebody's! Murderbot's pronouns are something I've consistently seen lots of questions about over the years, and with an influx of new folks being introduced due to the show, there's going to be more than ever.

First of all: thanks for asking these questions. I think when first being introduced to a new idea, such as a set of pronouns you're unfamiliar with, asking open and honest questions shows great intellectual curiosity and interest in understanding others.

There's a few different questions in this ask, so I'm going to try and break this down into sections, and to tackle them one by one. (And for the record, most of my answers here will be in reference to the books, not the TV show, because a) I haven't seen the show [yet] and b) there's only 2 episodes of it out right now anyway. I have no idea how closely the two texts are going to align, but I certainly hope it doesn't take away the book series' queer themes and representation.)

1. What's Murderbot's gender, and what pronouns does it use?

Murderbot is agender/non-gendered, and uses it/its pronouns.

For the record, I don't think this is just a reading or an interpretation. Rather, this is canonical, and on the same level as saying, "Bruce Wayne is a man who uses he/him pronouns."

Admittedly, there's never a place where the character says "My name is Murderbot, I'm non-binary, and I use it/its pronouns." In my opinion, one of the the strengths of the books is that it has much more subtle worldbuilding than that, both in general and in regards to casual queerness. However, throughout its first-person narration, Murderbot consistently uses "it" to refer to itself, and shows a general alienation and distaste for gender stuff in general. Its friends/allies, even after long acquaintance, continue using it/its.

Textual examples include:

Book 1: Yes, talk to Murderbot about its feelings. The idea was so painful I dropped to 97 percent efficiency. Book 2: To initiate the meeting, I’d had to make an entry on the social feed, too. The system was extremely vulnerable to hacking, so I had backdated my entry to look like I had come in on an earlier passenger transport, listed my job as “security consultant,” and my gender as indeterminate. Book 5: "No, it says it's fine," I heard her relaying to others on the comm. "Well, yes, it's furious." Book 6: I posted a feed ID with the name SecUnit, gender = not applicable, and no other information. Book 7: I was as indifferent to human gender as it was possible to be without being unconscious.

And while I think it's unnecessary, given the textual evidence, we can bring in Word of God too, courtesy of the book's author Martha Wells:

So, okay, Murderbot uses it/its pronouns! Which leads into the next question...

Why does Murderbot use 'It/Its' pronouns? Isn't that dehumanizing?

Yes, and that's just the way Murderbot likes it!

I think the reason this is often a stumbling block for folks is that a main focus of the early series-- especially book 1, or as the case may be, first episodes of the new adaptation-- is establishing that Murderbot Is A Person. From there, it's an easy leap to go: Therefore, Murderbot Is Human. After all, it has a human face.

But the second part of the central theme is: Murderbot is a person, but not a human person.

It is half-bot, half-human, all SecUnit. It has things in common with both of those halves, and emergent properties unique to itself. More than that, Murderbot is deeply alienated from the human experience. It spent the majority of its life being treated like an object, and appliance, and a weapon.

Murderbot chooses to embrace those aspects of its identity by continuing to use it/its pronouns. And yeah, it's clear that this often makes other folks feel uncomfortable. But that's a big part of it too. Murderbot's arc is about learning how to exist, as itself, unapologetically. It doesn't need to sand off those uncomfortable parts of its existence that make the humans around it uncomfortable. They just have to deal.

Okay, but that's Murderbot, a fictional character. What about actual real people?

That's a great point! And indeed, I don't care so much about Murderbot's pronouns for its own sake. It's a fictional character, it can't and doesn't care what real world people call it. But I think respecting its pronouns is an extension of respecting real living folks who DO use it/its pronouns, so let's talk about it!

(And for the record, I am not nonbinary. I'm also not not nonbinary? But I'm a sapphic butch with an often masc gender presentation, so it's like, an Overlap. My point being I'll do my best to speak to this perspective, but really, you're best seeking out the perspectives of actual it/its users and nonbinary folks.)

Various non-binary, agender, and other gender queer folks use it/its pronouns. The reasons vary hugely. Explanations I've seen are:

Generally feeling alienated from the human experience

Feeling a greater connection to non-human identities, like animals or robots

Connection to the many beautiful things exist in the world which (in English) have it/its pronouns applied to them-- think the ocean, or food, or celestial bodies.

A gender neutral pronoun that doesn't introduce the plural ambiguity of 'they/them' and isn't a neopronoun set folks need to learn.

Reclamation of insults they've received

and idk, they just sort of like it? Sometimes things aren't that deep.

And probably a whole bunch more reasons!

And really, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I think of it. While we can get deep into the theory of pronouns, at the end of the day, using the pronouns people prefer is just common courtesy. You can personally find it weird and uncomfortable, and you can work through it in your own time... But if someone asks, just use the pronouns they want!

Was the guy who forced it to Murderbot to make eye contact via orders ableist?

Okay, again, I haven't seen the show yet, so I don't have full context. But was the guy Gurathin? I bet it was Gurathin. While he didn't do that specifically in the book, he did pull some similar stunts.

In short, yeah, probably. It's a dick move regardless.

In long, I don't think he was being deliberately ableist. The guy is viewing the situation through a very different framework, namely, 'this SecUnit is a threat and a danger, and I am trying to control the situation'. Very likely, if he met a human colleague or acquaintance who asked not to make eye-contact, or just very clearly didn't like it, he probably would be chill and accommodating.

But the thing is, plenty of folks are ableist in day-to-day life without meaning to be ableist! You'll see folks be like "this person is so annoying because they do 'X thing', and it's not like they have an autism diagnosis or anything", as if the formal diagnosis is a magic wand to make certain behaviours okay. In general, things would be better if we just got better at accommodating benign behaviours that exist outside the norm without explanation.

[And frankly, my bigger concern here is less "ableism", and more "using his social power to force somebody who is a slave to follow his orders", but that's neither here nor there.]

Is it ableist to call a non-binary coded, autistic coded lifeform it/its?

Well, I mean, context matters?

A lot of shitty people will use it/its in a cruel way to various neurodivergent and queer people. They are deliberately intending to demean and dehumanize. That's shitty. Whether that's ableist or queerphobic would depend on the context, but it would be deliberately shitty.

And indeed, if you were to take another similar character... say Data from Star Trek, or Peridot from Steven Universe, and call either of them 'it', then again, depending on the context, I might call that shitty too! Their canonical pronouns are he/him and she/her respectively, and refusing to use those pronouns because "they're not really people" or "it's not a man/woman" would be a deliberately provoking move.

But if someone-- be it a fictional character, and even more so, a real person-- asks to be called "it"? That's their choice. The context has changed. It's not ableist, it's not queerphobic. That's just respecting them.

[crystalbeetle888]

Second Chances

Dog-Hybrid 141 x Autistic-coded Reader

Your world is turned upside down, when a stalker forces you to adopt a support-hybrid, leading you to meeting his friends and possibly biting off more than you can chew.

Word Count: 1400

Warnings- mention of minor stalker/stalking, nothing violent just creepy, course language, reader has anxiety and depression,

Master list

The pungent smell of chlorine is the first thing you notice when entering HRF or Hybrid Rehabilitation Facility. The distant sound of animal-like yowling sets you on edge as you approach the front desk. An older woman sits behind the counter, casually reading a magazine. She looks you up and down "Name?" her voice drawls. You give her your name and she stands with a sigh "Follow me".

She leads you through a long white hall lined with various doors. Distressed sounds of yapping and whining resonates from each of the rooms. Passing through the hall and into another, metal cell doors line the walls. "These are the ones you can pick from" she says before sitting in a chair by the door. You awkwardly stare down the hall for a moment, not entirely comfortable with the situation. The strange silence doesn't help ease your nerves either.

After years of CBT to treat your anxiety and depression you had finally given in to your therapists advice and decided to get a support-hybrid. Despite your dislike for the whole system surrounding hybrids, you needed one now. Due to an unforeseen, minor, stalker situation, that has triggered you deeply enough to affect your ability to be independent.

The way it works, is instead of putting hybrids in jail with the rest of the predominantly human population, they place them in rehabilitation facilities where they can then be reintegrating into society on parole, or be legally adopted by a human guardian, if they're especially difficult. However, most hybrids never make it out on their own and are left completely at the mercy of whoever adopts them. And because most well-intentioned humans aren't equipped to deal with destructive hybrids, lots of them go their entire lives in these facilities after making one stupid mistake.

The entire thing was fucking wrong, and you wish you could just slap the hell out of the asshole who set that system up. But here’s you are instead, about to adopt someone you only hope will tolerate you and possibly, best case scenario, help your mental health.

You briskly walk past each cell, making awkward eye contact with them as you briefly read their patient notes.

A 19 year old, female, bengal-cat-hybrid, arrested for theft and minor drug offences. Sounds like more than you can handle.

A 30 year old, male, angora-rabbit-hybrid, fined for property damage and arson. Not really suitable for your rental situation.

Lastly, a 34 year old, male, kangal-dog-hybrid, dishonourably discharged for causing bodily harm and inflicting emotional distress.

You snort, ‘Institutionalised for causing emotional distress, really?’ You think to yourself.

You look up to find the man watching you with critical eyes “Something funny?” He asks, his thick English accent cuts through the silence. “Discharged for causing emotional distress?” You raise your brow at him.

He huffs, and hangs his head “They had to charge me for double or I wouldn’t end up here” he explains.

“Jesus that’s fucked” you blurt out.

Guilt eats away at you, your stomach twisting with anxiety “Look.. I’m not exactly comfortable with this situation, but I’m looking for someone to do security and support work”,

“Security?”,

You rub your hands together anxiously, “I have a minor stalker situation, he isn’t violent, just creepy. But it’s affecting my mental health and ability to be independent”.

He hums in thought. “I’m not gonna make you come with me if you don't want to, but you are my best candidate" you smile at him nervously.

He seems to think for a moment before turning back to you and rising to his feet "Well if I'm the best there is, then we ought to find a way to make this work aye?" he gives you a wide, tight lipped smile. Kinda like a quokka.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in, "Thank you.. um?" "John. John Price" he offers you his hand through the bars. You shake it stiffly, noticing how his large hand envelops yours and his claws prick your skin. You laugh nervously at him before turning to the nurse "I think I've made my choice".

John stands behind you as you finish filling out the paperwork at the front desk, his towering figure is something you'd have to learn to get used to.

“This is your temporary license until your card comes in mail. You need to have this on you at all times while in public with him. And he, needs to wear this at all times in public" the lady slides over the paper license and a lanyard with his I.D and your contact information. "If he is found guilty of any more charges from here on out, you will be the one fined for it, or he will be sent right back here for further rehabilitation. Do you understand these terms?" she says in a bored voice. You clear your throat awkwardly "Yes".

"Great, have a good day then" she dismisses you, picking up her magazine again. You pocket the license and grab the I.D before turning to your new housemate. "Ready to go?" you ask him. "As I'll ever be" he responds. The two walk towards the exit together, "Great let’s get out of here, this place is fucking creepy" you say in a hushed voice, causing him to chuckle.

The drive back to your house was filled with light conversation, mostly you telling him about yourself and him nodding along. Finally, you pull up into the driveway “Here we are” you say getting out. The house was a blue two story home, with a small rose garden in the front and a cozy yard round the back. Hopping up the front steps your keys jangle as you let yourself in. “Welcome to your new home, for now” you say, closing the door behind him, “I’m just renting for now until I get this whole inheritance thing sorted”.

“I’m sorry for your loss” he say, placing his bag down by the stairs. You wave him off “Oh don’t be. I never really knew my mother, I was adopted so..” you explain.

Waking down the hall you enter the kitchen and living space, the smell of chicken soup permeates through the air. You lift the lid of the slow-cooker, steam bellowing out. The soup bubbles violently, as you go to grab the pre-made rice noodle from the fridge. Turning around, John stands in the doorway, peaking around the corner, staring at the soup. “You hungry?” You ask, as you strain the noodles into the sink before pouring them into the cooker. “Very” he replies shortly. You chuckle at his response. “It’s pretty hot, but it’s ready now” you say, pulling out two bowls from the draw and handing him one.

You serve the both of you dinner, before settling down on the couch in front of the T.V “You wanna watch some Alone? I’m on season 6” you turn to him. John turns back to you, mouth on the edge of the bowl as he shovels in the soup “hmm?”. You snort at him “Never mind, I’ll just put it on”.

With full bellies, the two of you watch T.V until late in the night. You let out a long yawn “You ready for bed yet John?” You ask, turning to him. He grunts a yes, his eyes droopy as he stares back at you tiredly.

Turning the telly off, you lead him upstairs “This is my room if you need me. Yours is just down there. It’s already set up and I’ve left some clothes for you in the closet. This is your bathroom so feel free to have a shower. Uhhh.. yeah good night” you smile at him awkwardly before turning to enter your room.

“Hay” he calls out, causing you to turn in the doorway. “hmm?” You look at him surprised.

“Thank you.. for all of this” he says sincerely. He stares into your eyes, and possibly your soul, with great vulnerability. Your chest swells with a feeling you’re not quite familiar with, your body twitching with energy. You nod at him and smile as normal as you can, with your body wanting to move around. “Good night John” is the only thing you can think to say.

He nods at you, eyes shining with gratitude. You close the door slowly, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.

After getting ready for bed, you are finally able to crawl under the covers and settle in for the night. In the next room over you hear John having a long shower before returning to his room. A sense of security and peace washes over you as you finally drift off to sleep.

Part. 2

A/N: My story was inspired by one of @princepotionsss COD Au’s.

If you enjoyed mine, you’ll definitely enjoy theirs ❤️

[chaifootsteps]

some tags on a post I just wanted to share:

hb#critical#FOR FUCKING REAL#this is exactly why i HATE when people say 'but blitz came onto him first! thats why stolas thinks he likes it!'#one moment of consent does not IMPLY consent for all future interactions.#especially in entirely non-sexual situations. stolas is a grown ass man. he should know better#i see 'stolas is autistic/bad at reading tone' a lot too. which is one thing#but blitz isnt using some neurotypical secret coded language. he says 'i dont like this' TO HIS FACE.#if he was just bad at reading tone and/or blitz WAS playing hard to get wouldnt stols take that at face value and stop???????????

that sums it up, really. It's annoying to see so much work done to unpack people feeling entitled to someone they dated/slept with once, or Nice Guy Syndrome, only for the HB fandom to act like we never had those conversations

if the only defence of Stolas is 'well Stolas thinks he likes it because Blitzo slept with him once' then we don't have much nice to say about Stolas, do we?

there's no amount of mental backends one can do to excuse the fact that Blitzo was not 'leading him on' - he immediately dipped after that first night, avoided him, didn't want to take his calls and acted completely disinterested in Stolas outside of the time he was forced to spend with him. Even the whole 'Stolas thought Blitzo liked dirty talk' is categorically untrue because when he pulled that in The Circus Blitzo straight up snapped his neck all the way around and said 'Ew. Stop it' to get him to shut up

Say it with me: Blitzo is not responsible for Stolas' delusions and it's not a flaw on Blitzo's part for wrecking Stolas' illusions about him and their relationship. It's on Stolas for having them in the first place and keeping them way longer than he should have

Oh god, it's the kind of thing that'll break you if you think about it. Years and years of conversations about enthusiastic consent and rape culture and how one consensual encounter doesn't automatically mean consent forever, gone like a fart in the wind.

The very second it's about Blitzo, these people start talking like old 1960s white men asking what the victim was wearing.

[bibookdemon]

Note 1: 'I don't see WWX as trans-coded' That has changed, I've hopped on the genderfluid WWX train, choo-choo!!! However, for the purposes of this au, both LWJ and WWX are amab. (WWX could still be genderfluid, not sure if I'd write him that way for this au if I ever do get around to writing it)

Note 2: fuck I can't add more than 10 pics so I'll have to reblog this FUCK!!!!

Note 3: 'WWX longs to be a dad, like have an actual biological kid' That sounds so fuckin rude please excuse that. I phrased it wrong!!! Adopting kids is just as valid!!! What I meant to say is that he'd happily adopt more kids HOWEVER he desperately wants a biological kid as well. A) He wants to see what a combo of his and LWJ's genes would be like B) he wants to experience pregnancy and birth and every step of this child's life C) while absolutely not the deciding factor but still smth I wanna point out cause it's funny silly, he DOES want to say "Lan Zhan~! Put a baby in me~" (breeding kink)

Note 4: Adoption. I want to make a change, I think they would be able to adopt, but they're a last resort to the rest of the world. If someone had a child they needed to send to a safe place, their first thought isn't going to be LWJ and WWX. :c (but they're always willing to take kids under their wing)

Note 5: LWJ noticing but not saying anything. Look, ok, when you're autistic it's fuckin hard to A) be able to read the situation completely (LWJ notices smth is up but doesn't know WHAT it is) and B) reach out about whatever is up. LWJ also doesn't want to cause his husband any unnecessary anxiety by making him feel like he HAS to answer.

Note 6: 'WWX starts wishing he'd been born female' - This could tie into being genderfluid. Originally it was meant as wanting to be able to bear children, but he doesn't have the anatomy for it.

Note 7: Smth I feel very strongly about is WWX wanting to bear the child. It's not because he's the 'bottom' (where my top/switch WWX fans at?) but simply because it makes sense in my mind. He would be ok with his body being altered to bear children, he'd be ok with carrying those children. LWJ, on the other hand, would not. He would be dysphoric (whether trans OR cie) and it would be overstimulating and overall a horrible, likely traumatizing experience. I have read fics about LWJ getting pregnant, and they're written really well and I love them, however, I likely won't write that. Maybe a breeding kink, but even that doesn't seem as in character for him? Who knows.

Note 8: Really want to highlight life and death as an infinite figure 8 loop. Literally one of my favorite things to think about.

Note 9: LWJ has based his entire life around this man. Of course he wants another kid, and no, it's not just to please him. A-Yuan was wonderful to raise, and while he's absolutely terrified of raising a child *from birth*, because that's different, he wants to experience it. (I also imagine that they stay in Gusu from the time they conceive the child to the time WWX heals from childbirth. So they're really not the only ones raising said child, which means that when they need a break, plenty of people are willing. Especially the older mothers whose children have grown up and flown the coop ✊️😔)

Note 10: *for the next 10 months, not 9

Note 11: While several people are fairly supportive and just happy to see life born of something so dark, born of a tragic past, there are many people who will make life harder for WWX and LWJ and their kid because 'it's unnatural' and 'it's a demon child' and so on and so forth.

Note 12: LXC is so happy for his little brother...after the initial 'wtf' moment.

Note 13: LSZ gets told when people start noticing that WWX has started putting on some weight, but they kinda just wave it off as him getting spoiled by his husband. Anywho. LSZ is quite happy for them!!! He doesn't feel he's being replaced at all, AND HES GONNA HAVE A LITTLE SIBLING?!?!?!? He's gonna have someone he can tell alllllll about his stories with WWX and LWJ!!!! He's ecstatic XD

Note 14: I want to point out that it has been several years since the JGY incident, during which WWX has started rebuilding his bond with JC (with both of them putting aside pride and hatred and deep, deep tragedy to. *See* each other. Really see each other. To remember who they once were, to acknowledge they've changed vastly, and to accept that fact and adapt to it.) It's not easy, they get in fights, they often make each other cry. But they've slowly started repairing the bond. And so WWX goes to JC about his kid and he's nervous and JC is kinda weirded out at first + loathes the idea of using demonic cultivation for a child until WWX explains how it works. At which point he sees...potential in it. It could help a lot of people who want biological children but can't have them. Anywho. Look, he may still not have a great bond with WWX but he does have a soft spot in his heart for his family's children. He does want to be in this kid's life. (And he definitely wants to teach the kid ACTUAL GOOD MORALS! LIKE STAY AWAY FROM DEMONIC CULTIVATION EVEN THOUGH YOUR DAD DOES IT, UNDERSTAND?!)

[draftsandchains]

(sending this off anon cause i don't think it matters) hi sorry for taking so long to reply i finally watched through your unstableverse timestamps and i do like uu!clownferre a lot! sure their dynamic doesn't get that much screentime (understandable), but them being actual long-term teammates is so good. especially when ferre shows up alone and people immediately wonder where clown is like you guys are not beating the allegations.... also re: joining the discord i'm already in it oops. sorry i didn't say anything i'm not the best with talking online outside of anon asks. also hey i didn't know about them joining random smps to massacre the players, that's going to be living in my brain for a while too i think. clownferre and their tendency towards concerning amounts of bloodshed.... it's such a good concept whether they go on a good old-fashioned murder spree or it goes completely wrong for them. lastly: some yap abt the wemmbu finale episode cause that was my favourite one ->

- the way ferre's first appearance is him wordlessly walking up to clown to splash strength for both of them is so. that might be the most romantic gesture you can do in minecraft. (sort of reminds me of that twitter clip of them testing out the mace where he splashes up clown before letting him mace him. very cute honestly)

- were they just having a normal conversation when wemmbu snuck in. hello. that whole section is so fun though i need to watch them fight together more often (except there's no fucking content of course). it's funny how much more talkative ferre is than clown during fights. uhh him basically lighting tnt on clown and telling him "it's fine, it won't kill you" was a good moment too. ferre fighting wemmbu and egg later on was also peak they are so unserious!!!

- clownferre crashout yayyyy. really love the part where ferre offers an olive branch/shows concern ("don't die today") and clown fully rejects it and makes sure to make things worse before he leaves. these guys know how to end off an argument properly <3. kinda reminded me of why it's so common to frame mcrp teammate situations as toxic failmarriages? like the living together/sharing everything/knowing each other too well for your own good of course. and also making your major life decisions together and then regretting them. etc!! (i don't actually think clownferre have that unhealthy of a relationship. but they've got potential)

YOU!!! BELOVED ANON. i totally get not talking even i get shy in the discord imma be honest i do not mind if you keep sending anons instead! i fucking love reading your anons all the time

fuck yes my autistic record of timestamps has a target audience this is our freak circus. fr clown and ferre come as a pair they match each other’s freak to a degree that is harmful to everyone around them. If you see one the other will be coming next. they sure are Not beating the allegations.

omg you are also obsessed with the strength pot literally @.peru and i yapped about that as well it’s just. peak. here’s some of my yap on that too

NEED to see them fight together more you are so real for that. i think there are some in the list of vods where they are on the same team but. there’s not enough. it’s so date night coded. ferre sure is more talkative than clown fr. obsessed with that like we know ferre is the better pvper so he probably calls out more in fights. once again married husbands energy. it’s probably a thing where ferre will call out instructions during fights like the tnt and clown will follow im insane about that.

GODDD the wemmbu and egg fight. i love and hate that so much. help im too pvppilled for this. He Would Not Fucking Pvp Like That. like how did they decide that was a plot point. “Yeah wemmbu and egg needs to win this one how do we debuff ferre” “just schedule it for 5pm that’s when the ping is worst for him” man. but anyways u are so right they are so unserious. worst hostage ever this guy is so unserious. he’s somehow the most chill guy in the hostage situation.

I LOVE the crashout. like it has the energy of a serious fight but also u know they will fuck and make up later. it’s so goood. i sure have so much thoughts of how toxic they can still be that’s my fav lol i was raised on the ao3 dead dove tag

anyways my nsfw blog @queereldritchmischief if you want e rated yaps go harass me there<3

i will block minors saying it rn.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #287 (Part 1?)

Well, today is the day. In about an hour and a half, I arrive at the place to get some teeth yanked out. I know today's letter is really early, but I don't know if I'll feel well enough to write later, so I wanna make sure I do it now. I promised a letter every day, after all. I'm hungry. But you're supposed to be, if you're getting knocked out. They don't want you to end up throwing up while you're being operated on.

I'm a little nervous. I'm not nervous about dying or whatever; I'm nervous about being in a lot of pain when I wake up. I'm nervous about being in pain for at least the next week. Nervous about the aftercare aspect, what with needing to squirt saline in the little holes left behind. Nervous about ending up with dry socket. Nervous about the fact that for the next couple days, I'll probably have to rest. Nervous about the discomfort of the braces after the fact.

…

Well. I put on my favorite shirt. I will be brave and do the scary and uncomfortable thing because I know it's gonna be better for me in the long run.

Unfortunately, when we have problems - even if those problems are not our fault - there's no easy way out of them. There's no shortcut to solving them. As unfair as it is, you just have to grit your teeth and get it done. It holds true for teeth your parents never got looked at. It's true of PTSD, of autism, of ADHD. It holds true for lots of things.

…Suppose I learned really early on that no one is actually coming to save me. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and fix the inside of my face without discomfort on my part. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and instantly install mindfulness and coping practices into my PTSD-addled brain; I have to practice them. No one can pop by to wave a magic wand and make the world accept queer autistic AFABs; I have to practice good boundary skills and I have to be the example of what I want to see in the world with the hopes that it will inspire kindness and compassion in others.

It's as the song says: "There's no easy way out. There's no shortcut home…"

Oh. You might not know that song. Here, I'll give you the version of it done by The Protomen; I like that one better than the original. Their lead singer is astounding:

The Protomen have A LOT of really amazing songs. They have their own rock opera based around the Megaman games. It's definitely worth taking a look, I think.

…I generally find this song inspiring when I gotta just grit my teeth and do the thing. I focus on, "We're not indestructible." I focus on, "I think it's unbelievable how you give into the hands of fate," as in, "why would you give in to fate when you have choices?" I focus on, "Some things are worth fighting for; some feelings never die." I focus on, "I'm thinking about what I used to be," as in, "I've already come so far."

I get really confused by the line that goes "Giving in can't be wrong", though. It seems kind of antithetical to the whole rest of the song. So I usually just lop off the "apostrophe-t" in my head. 😋

The Megas is another group based on the Megaman games. Here's one of my favorites:

I especially like the parts that begin at around 1:40:

------- "Brother if we walk the program, what system do you serve? Is your song just lines of code or something that you heard? And now you want to know what you're supposed to be; stop pretending you don't have a choice - only that can set you free. And now you want to burn the world into the ground? This rage is not your destiny - it's holding you down!"

"I refuse to believe that I'm nothing more than a machine! I refuse to believe that we can't learn to see! The truth was in a dream; I will not kill; no, I will believe!"

"Believe me when I say, if this could end today, I'd do it, I would. [But] for his crimes, should his life I take? Does that mean no man or machine can learn from his mistakes? [That] no man or machine is more than their mistakes?"

"I refuse to believe that I'm nothing more than a machine! I refuse to believe that we can't learn to see! The truth was in a dream; I will not kill; no, I will believe!" -------

...The "brother" who wants to "burn the world into the ground" turns around. Just in case you wondered. 😁💖

...Ahaha... It's hard for me to talk about The Protomen without also talking about The Megas. They're both really great groups. Thanks for bearing with me.

...Well. I suppose that's it for today. I had better get ready to go. I'll be back home in a little while. Maybe I'll write again later today. But just in case I don't:

I love you. Please, please, please stay safe out there. Please remember that you have choices and that you can do good, kind, and loving things with them. Please remember that even if your path is difficult and really long, you're capable of so much more than you think. Even if the process of rebuilding and restoring that which was broken isn't easy, it's still worth doing. Please give it a try, and remember to ask for help when you need to.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

true actuaactually if I was in deis situation I'd straight up be docs bitch. WHO SAID THAT anyway er er I'm honestly really hoping dei and doc. DONT stay together cuz like. Yeah doc may have good intentions but he's not exactly exercising them right because Deimos I'm pretty sure Deimos fully believes doc wont want him if he can't provide sex. AND IDK if it was intentional but I think doc is written to be really predatory. Like chapter 2 of the fic where he repeatedly knows something is wrong but he doesnt look into it at all. And yeah he does care about Deimos but he never shows that in a way that I feel like Deimos can really fully believe? Like when have they spent time together that wasn't just for docs benefit.

And that's the THING doc is his boss and Deimos is nowhere near stable enough to handle this relationship which I think doc definitely knows but he just. ??? Doesn't care. And there's suchhh a power play with it. I'm begging you to end this fic well

okay I had to sit and think about this a lot because it's honestly such a good analysis mwah mwah kissing you platonically

SO. first and foremost I'm trying not to downplay just how much of what's going on Deimos's fault specifically. like don't get me wrong, they both suck here, but Deimos being unwilling to even address his own feelings/wants/needs, let alone communicate them, is a major source of Problems. additionally he's written to be an incredibly unreliable narrator who has a very difficult time reading facial expressions and tone of voice, and when you couple that with Doc being masked up most of the time his imagination runs wild with the intentions behind things that get said to him. won't be touching on this in the fic because I know a lot of people like to interpret him as bpd coded, cptsd coded, autistic, etc, but the actual reason behind that social struggle is an amygdalotomy that he doesn't remember that happened during his first year or so of life to curb aggression. it worked but had unfavorable side effects. this is mentioned in a different fic that I promise I'll finish and post eventually but yeah bro got brain damage and physically cannot read people accurately most of the time

there are times where Doc is there for Deimos's benefit, specifically in chapter 4 both in the middle of the night when Deimos takes off the heartbeat sensor to go find Sanford (makes it look like he flatlined) and the next morning when medical staff needs help because Deimos WILL hurt someone but they can't just leave him untreated. like you definitely aren't wrong there's something iffy there but credit where credit is due yk

Doc is very much written to be predatory on purpose. not in a strictly sexual sense but in general Doc has made it to where he's at because he IS a predator and even if he doesn't always take advantage of weakness he's always aware of it and knows he could use it at any time if he wants to. it's also like a critical detail that Doc reminds Deimos of his handler in a lot of ways so it's like a weird type of daddy issues where Deimos NEEDS this guy's approval and that's no one's fault. the other half of that equation is Doc is autistic as fuck and comes off the wrong way very often. example from an upcoming intermission to TIMH that I'll be posting soon:

it doesn't really cross his mind that staring silently at someone for several seconds might seem creepy, especially with the mask. when he's circling Sanford and looking injuries he DOES mean well, he knows Deimos is dangerous and that Sanford could be hurt, but Sanford feels like he's being circled by a shark and that's why he's shrinking back. he's trying his best man

when I say good ending or bad ending I'm just not sure if it ends in docmos or not. there is in fact another subplot underway before things resolve and it'll be pretty heavy but it's been planned since the beginning. it's actually very subtly implied that Hank and Sanford are a thing but unlike davebert they're pretty quiet about it. really only Doc is aware and it goes over Deimos's head any time it's mentioned and subsequently the reader's head as well

end of the day, a relationship isn't gonna fix this guy. everyone knows it, including Doc, but Doc is also kind of afraid of pushing Deimos away even a little bit because he knows Deimos isn't willing to get close to anyone else. he isn't 100% certain what Deimos wants out of this despite his best efforts to get Deimos to tell him, and in turn doesn't feel like he can fully express what he wants from Deimos because he knows the second he does that Deimos will just go along with it to keep the peace. they're both kinda coming from an angle of "I don't know what he fully wants but I do know he wants this" in terms of sex. does that mean he should be fully indulging him despite this massive gap in communication? nope! but Doc ain't perfect and is doing what he thinks is best for Deimos

also also I gotta defend his honor from chapter 2 because the warning signs he was ignoring were in all honesty his own. he's got a lot of lore in terms of relationships/sex and a lot of attachment issues, and he's very aware of this, so it was more the fact that Deimos was looking at him with such adoration and devotion that was making him feel some type of way. like "oh fuck he might actually like me and I have a long history of that going poorly" and he's trying not to project his own apprehension onto Deimos

he's used to a very unexpressive Deimos and most people looking at him with fear at best. he doesn't fully know how to process the anxiety this sudden surge of emotions causes him so he doesn't. smart move? nah

ok ok sorry for yapping so hard I just got so many thoughts about this stupid ship all the time

[whatthefoucault]

Stede, 8 + 16 + 24!

Spicy questions about the best little gay pirate captain to ever rock a gold silk wrapping gown? Thank you!

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

This is really hard to answer, actually? I guess I'll just put my Historian Hat on for a second, and I want to begin by saying that despise is way too strong of a word here for even what I'm able to comment on. But generally as someone who's long since had an interest in dress history research, I'm aware of the fact that while Stede's fashion sense is especially outlandish among his pirate compatriots, it's not inherently feminine within the context of the era. It was incredibly common for men, especially men of means, to wear colourful and decorated garments, printed cotton fabrics, decorative embroidery of various kinds - and wrapping gowns! The thinking man's casual wear! It really isn't until near the end of the 18th century that men's fashion fades down into the far more neutral and bland uniformity that we're still seeing reflections of in menswear today. (Look up the Great Male Renunciation if you want to learn more about the whys and wherefores of what happened there.) So it's not that "Stede likes to wear fancy colourful stuff and that's unmasculine of him" so much as it's a matter of scale. It's highly unusual that he has a wardrobe this comprehensive at sea, when seafaring folk often wore, you know, a small number of practical garments for the realities of being at sea for extended periods of time. (Consider checking out my episode of Never Left Podcast if you want to hear me waffle on more about historical dress practices as reflected in the show.) My point is, while his sensibility is attacked by the representatives of toxic masculinity in the show, there's nothing in his dress sense in and of itself that isn't representative of What Men Wore back then, actually. All of this to say when I see the presupposition that [insert contemporary frilly women's garment here] is Stede-coded or that he'd totally wear that, the answer to me is a resounding "would he though?" and my answer to that sub-question is "I honestly am uncertain, and I don't know if we're conflating non-toxic masculinity with character being feminine-coded or just running on vibes because gender is fake and wear what you want." This got away from me, sorry.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Anyone other than Ed! They're so singularly moony-eyed for each other that I don't really want or need to entertain any other possibilities. When I have tried to think about them, I just get sad because what if Ed misses him? Or inserting a third person into Ed and Stede's relationship doesn't feel like it's improving upon things in any way for me. Your mileage may vary and I don't really care what you ship, but if it's Stede with anybody else I probably have the tag muted.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Oof. Depends. Stede is such a singularly unique character that I really can't think of any one character that maps onto him. I don't know if it's a cop-out to name another Rhys Character but there's a strand of DNA between Stede and Anton, at least with their use of Leadership Rhyming Guidance (talk it through as a crew, werewolves not swearwolves). Bertie Wooster for the fact that I think they'd dig each other's fashion sense and both are so incredibly unsuited to being married to a woman it's hilarious. Doctor Julian Bashir for autistically infodumping to anyone who will listen and not always being the greatest at picking up on social cues, despite best efforts. (ETA omg they also both catch feelings for a guy who's very well established in a career they think is super cool, which they later learn is kind of violent and scary and not as cool as the books about it and also that said guy has suffered horribly at the hands of Toxic Masculinity and has trauma galore about it) (All of my blorbos are neurodivergent, but each in their own special way)

Thanks for asking, and I'm sorry!

Character questions

[lotus-duckies]

the queerness of 2012 is really weird because it straddles the line of plausible deniability so well and the fact it's so obviously edgy teenage boy coded, so when something kinda queer happens you're like "wait was that intentional or" as opposed to Rise, where the queer coding is blatant, especially with its usage of gender nonconformity and literally putting a rainbow flag into the show

so anyway here's an essay about leo's bisexuality. yes this will be covering his crush on karai in a romantic context even though everyone hates it and wants to rephrase it as gender envy, i'm sorry but someone has to do it

The first question we must ask, does Leo have some kind of indication of having attraction to more than one gender?

There was a tumblr post recounting canon tmnt facts, one of which says the art book states that Leo has a 'man crush' on Captain Ryan.

Which, I am wheezing at the idea that the thing that makes Leo imperfect is the fact he has a man crush on Captain Ryan. Nothing else, just the man crush.

I did google the definition of a man crush because even though I am clearly just so manly what the heck is that.

-an intense and typically non-sexual liking or admiration felt by one man for another. -a man who is the object of another's intense liking or admiration.

Yeah that's approximately Leo's relationship with Captain Ryan, an intense admiration for a fictional man. Obviously, having a man crush doesn't automatically mean you're attracted to men, but given Leo's general behaviors in the show, I'm more inclined to believe he does have Some Kind of attraction to men.

Karai

The thing about Leo's crush on Karai is that it was executed in a distinctly different way than any of his brothers' love affairs.

With his brothers, they're very open about the fact they're into whatever girl the narrative has assigned them. Donnie's crush has been known by everyone since episode 1 and he and Mikey are not subtle about their admiration. Raph was talking about how cool he thinks Mona is and if turtles and newts can go on dates even though she was introduced as an antagonist before becoming an ally.

Karai was also introduced as an antagonist who Leo has some kind of attraction to, but he hid it. He refused to tell his family about it, only telling April who then chastised him about it. His family only found out by accident, and even then he either didn't tell them he liked her, shrouded in excuses of "We both like the fine craftsmenship of swords" and "I can see the good in her, I can save her", or begrudginly added "I guess I sort of liked her" at the end.

This reads as a very queer narrative, closeted kids discovering themselves and only their friends know out of fear of getting rejected by their families.

And this is also why I do think Leo has an Actual Crush on Captain Ryan. Trying to explain it as having an admiration for Captain Ryan and wanting to be a hero is much the same as trying to explain why he was hanging out with Karai, wanting to help her or admire swords.

His personality as a Very Good Boy who follows the rules and cares if they accidentally hurt people exemplifies the changes he went through from Karai's influence.

(also like. if space heroes is supposed to be a parody of star trek. girl star trek is so horny. and Leo says that space heroes has a ton of fans currently, implying he's seen the fanbase, and the very strong possibility that the fanbase is mostly populated by gay fanfiction

and yknow. Leo's the embodiment of 2010's tumblr fangirl, which has a lil queer autistic in it)

Karai is very visibly a lesbian, an edgy punk butch lesbian, and she and Shinigami lowkey embody a butch femme dynamic and the fact Karai is depicted as the more formidable, domineering force with a sword and Shinigami as a bit more pathetic with a cat is reminiscent of the japanese lesbian dynamics from this post. It's all very gay.

And she's an antagonist lesbian to Leo's closeted and internalized biphobia.

She represents the desire to give up and be swallowed by selfishness, forgoing responsibility and cleanliness in favor of having fun.

Leo is resistant to giving in. His attempts to do so immediately get shut down, and he's rejected by his family, even for a moment, for wanting to go do Bad Things. He tries to fix Karai, make her good and acceptable. But he slips further, eventually falling into Karai's circle to be gay and commit crimes against the Foot Clan empire.

In this way his sexuality is explored through self expression, the moral ambiguity, and transition from an absolute rule follower caring deeply about the affects his actions has on others to burning a building full of money. It's very classic "good girl getting corrupted" story telling, but at the same time it isn't, because Leo maintains an overall good moral compass, he just grew up. Sometimes killing people is a necessity, sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes people get hurt.

Being queer stops being this huge shameful, evil thing and it starts just being part of you.

[ayebibs]

I just finished Veilguard. I have so many thoughts. Very raw and unpolished under the cut. I have no one to talk about this with so my dash must suffer. Probably will ramble on more later too.

Tldr; I am highly critical but I had a fun enough time and still love dragon age.

Definitely felt the loss of my world state choices. Especially if this is a soft relaunch and I may never have my characters or thedas mentioned ever again.

Hot take, I don't care for Morrigan that much. She's fine and I like her, but I love Varric more and would much rather have seen other past companions. Someone give me back fenris and merrill. Also, why is Isabela in basically every game. I like her but? I cannot determine the reason. Am I missing lore?

Speaking of Varric, I clocked his death immediately (no one but rook ever spoke to him?) His death felt cheapened by the poorly executed twist for me. Disappointing and annoying to me.

So much good lore (and much of it wasted). Why did everything feel so surface level except in the crossroads? That part of the narrative was so much tighter. So much could have been done with the Titans, in my opinion, and I think so little of that was explored.

Such a satisfying ending, but the rest of the game could be such a slog sometimes? Like, the ending lowkey reminded me of Origins and fighting the darkspawn and archdemon with the help of the people you built relationships with along the way, which was very cool. But I felt like all of those faction relationships were very shallow. Maybe we should have been able to talk to more people (with menus and branching dialogue) in the factions and do more sidequests to feel more attached?

So much marketing about the focus on companions but the romance was less of a focus than it has ever been and I didn't feel connected to, like, anyone except for Davrin and Assan. I didn't feel a single ounce of regret with my choices (I'm sorry, I don't get the hype around Harding... she was fine in inquisition but really didn't stand out to me. She had little depth imo as well...). We barely got to talk to them and learn their history and likes outside of caracitures of who they were. Yes, I get it Neve is a noir detective, Lucas is coffee man and spite is coffee demon, bellara is quirky and autistic coded. And none of those things make well-rounded characters.

Really wished I had romanced anyone but Lucanis because I thought he was bland (sue me) and Zevran doesn't exist for whatever is going on in that revisionist take on the crows. Also, I hate the sleeping together before the final battle trope. So much of that build up and romance should have happened earlier. The romance simply felt new to me and I didn't feel invested at all.

Speaking of revisionist history, how the hell was the enslavement of elves in tevinter barely mentioned? Or racism? I saw an excuse about someone having to write that and like... bffr. You can't just ignore hard topics. That is where the depth and nuance in dragon age comes from (not nuance in slavery mind you, but think fenris' opinion on mages because of his history). As the inquisitor, my lavellan constantly experienced racism and I loved it because I am female minority and have experience with those issues. Working around it or plowing though sometimes was gratifying and fun. I don't people see racism in a video game and automatically think "oh no bioware is racist?" If that's the issue.

Davrin was my favorite companion and i really wished I had romanced him. Might replay as a grey warden man and do that because I think that would be very cool plot wise. I think I also got what I wanted out of his companion quests. Like, they answered what I wanted and had a satisfying ending.

Also, I liked Bellara so much more than I thought I would, especially because I chose her at the very end and she becomes blighted. Her dialogue is very rough though and not appropriate for the tone of this game 97% of the time.

Still cannot get over how bad the dialogue was. Truly egregious. Very anachronistic and took me out of the story nearly every time some characters opened their mouths. The main offender being my Rook who could literally only be nice and very "go team." She sounded like my manager trying to convince me that our job is made of one big, happy family no matter what dialogue I chose. Also, I wanted to throw my controller at my monitor every time Neve said "the job."

Taash's storyline really could have been something great because there were glimmers when I really loved them, but the anachronistic phrases and lack of skill with their storyline really killed it for me. I have a lot of thoughts on this because I really think it was EXTREMELY lazy and showed a real lack of care for either nonbinary rep (which can still happen with own voices) or simply writing for a piece of existing media. I could think of many easy ways to improve it. Some glimmers are even in the game. Like when the spirit addresses Taash as cousin instead of sister? Why not more of this? Also what was with the push ups for misgendering and then immediately being like, oh saying sorry a bunch makes it more for the person who fucked up? Like... the pushups are different?? And definitely don't draw more attention to an insulting or dysphoric moment?

All that aside, I was decently happy as a solalavellan girlie. I can 100% see why people don't like Solas and might have chosen endings that end badly for him, but I feel strongly that he was the best written character in he last two games.

Had a fun enough time. Happy the game finally got made. Ending really saved this from being a 5/10 for me. Would rank around 7/10 rounded up.

Don't think the game needs a dlc, but there is always a part of me that wants to play through rebuilding in the aftermath of a near world ending fight that destroyed everything. Like, take me to Ferelden. Is my husband, the king, okay?

Desperately, desperately hoping that there is another game that is a true return to form to the first three games (yes, even 2 because the characters are so, so well loved) and more like the ending of veilguard. Also that we get a return of world states meaning something. Hate to be that bitch, but genuinely hoping Baldur's Gate raised expectations for story-based, rpg games and Bioware survives to bring back my favorite game series to what I loved so much.

Fingers crossed the next one (is made at all) doesn't take 10 years.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch! long time listener, first time caller, and i was hoping you could help me out

i'm about a year on hrt, and my sexuality has been in major flux because of it. i went from being 1000% asexual for almost a decade to feeling a lot more comfortable calling myself bi, and it's been a really great feeling to get in touch with my sexuality in a new way!

my question really is......how do i initiate sex, especially casual sex?

i've never tried to before, because i was never really interested before. i'm aromantic and totally opposed to having a romantic partner, so there's nobody that i can sit down with and say "i would like to try this new thing," and i'm autistic, so figuring out that social dance is a mess and a half.

do you have any advice? thank you for your time!!! i love reading your blog <3

okay so first off congrats on the hrt and the fun new sexuality, etc etc, love that for you, love to see it.

anyway now that we got that out of the way I'm going to say something that a lot of people who are new to this whole sex-having thing need to hear: there aren't cheat codes, man. there's no single answer to "how do I initiate sex" that I can give you, and anyone who says otherwise is probably trying to sell you something. no matter what you say or do, there will be some people for whom it's an instant panty dropper and people for whom it's an irrevocable turn-off forever.

"okay so how do I figure out the difference" well. you take the time to get to know people and figure out a.) if they seem like they'd be into sex and b.) what the best way to broach the subject with them is. that time you spend with them could be half an hour over drinks before you head back to your place to bone or it could be building a friendship over weeks and months before you broach the subject of adding sex to the mix; that part's up to you.

the only part that's not optional is that whether you're looking for romance with your sex or not, no sex is going to happen without some amount of communication with other people and care about them as individuals. that's gonna mean a lot of potential awkwardness and risk-taking that's just part and parcel of having sex, you don't get the rewards of boning without the mortifying ordeal of being vulnerable with other people.

um so that's how you do it you go places or you get on an app or whatever and you find someone you think you could have a good connection with and at some point you put yourself in the position of being told "no" when you ask them if they'd want to have sex with you and then you just deal with whatever the answer is and don't take it personally either way. and you figure out a way to navigate all of that that works for you and makes you happy. and that's how you have sex.

[spooky-switch]

Spooky's FNAF Movie Review (Spoilers Below The Cut)

Final Rating:

★★★★☆

General Information:

↬ I have only played the first two games, and that was years ago, but I am fairly familiar with the lore thanks to theory videos and infodumps from my little brother. I think it is safe to say that even if you have not played the games, you can still follow alone with this film and enjoy it. ↬ Takes elements from multiple games and incorporates them all into a new (but familiar) storyline Long term fans will be pleased by the references but might have a hard time with changes made to the lore. ↬ Matthew Lillard and Josh Hutcherson stole the show, of course. They both have some serious acting chops and performed their parts well, though this is not to say that the rest of the cast did a poor job. Most of the cast members did a pretty decent job, though a few minor characters broke the tension at times with comedic overacting (this was probably intentional, though, as this is a PG-13 film). ↬ The puppeteering and suits by the Jim Henson company were absolutely amazing! While I had my doubts after watching the trailer, in the final film they looked far less like CGI and more like actual physical objects, in part due to how they interacted with the actors and the environments. ↬ There were a couple of plot holes at the end of the film that had me scratching my head, but this is 'Five Nights At Freddy's,' so I tried not to nitpick it too much. Looking at the series as a whole, I would say this is the most cohesive story we have been given, so plot holes can be forgiven in my opinion.

Sensory Information:

↬ This movie contains plenty of jump scares (which is normal and expected for the franchise), so expect lots of loud, sudden noises. I watched it in theaters with my little brother, and even though we took care to pick seats away from any speakers, it was still so loud at points that we needed to cover our ears. If you are especially sensitive to sound like I am, I would recommend either bringing hearing protection or watching the film at home (it should be available for streaming on Peacock). ↬ This film also contains tones of bright, flashing lights. These are littered throughout the film and go on for long durations of time. I was not bothered by them but those with high sensitivity to bright lights (and those prone to seizures) might want to be wary of this film.

Spoilers:

↬ Can we all agree that Abby is autistic coded? To me, the whole relationship between her and Michael is a big brother learning to connect with his neurodivergent little sister while cope with some pretty severe trauma (the loss of their parents and brother). ↬ I am sad to say that, no, Markiplier is not in the film. However, I can happily say that MATPAT IS, even if just briefly! ↬ Of all the jump scares, the stupid Balloon Boy one was the only one that really got me (even after the third time they did it). ↬ The tickle scene was not as bad as I thought it would be, in part because I had fair warning of what it entailed and where it would be in the film (thanks for the heads up, @unbeleevable, I owe you one). It was arguably less cringy than the 'Barbie' tickle scene, which is all I could really ask for (besides Michael getting pulled into the tickle fight, which I knew was not going to happen). ↬ Honestly? Vanessa was really getting on my nerves. If she had just TOLD Michael what was going on, it would have saved them both a lot of trouble. I mean, if she really cared about Abby being safe, why not explain everything to Michael so he would be more motivated to keep his sister away from the pizzeria? ↬ OH, and when Vanessa just TOSSED Michael's medication into the water?! Like, girl, do you know how much that stuff costs, especially in this economy (we all know Michael was probably having to pay out of pocket for it, too, since there is no way that man had health insurance)? ↬ Oh my god, when the Springtrap suit was finally revealed, I was so excited! It looked amazing, standing out as one of the best practical effects of the film, especially when combined with how it moved and Lillard's vocal performance. ↬ So, did anyone ever find the body of the aunt? Last time we see her, she is laying dead on Michael's living room floor. Did he call the police? If so, how did he explain her death? If not, WHERE DID HE PUT THE BODY?! ↬ When they played the Living Tombstone song at the end, it took everything in me not to start jamming out to it, especially seeing how happy my little brother was. We sat through the credits just to hear the whole thing.

[fallenrocket]

Unhatched Observations: Ms. Marvel

It’s that time again—looking over some of my old posts about a story with Big Neurodivergent Energy and realizing how it resonated with me as an “unhatched” autistic ADHDer. Today, we’re looking at Ms. Marvel. I’ve got a mix of comics and TV show posts here, and it delights me that I picked up on Kamala Khan’s similarities to Peter Parker, another ADHD-coded teenage superhero.

Ms. Marvel, Vol. 1: No Normal

I like that [Kamala’s] a bit of a nerd and a total Avengers fangirl (she writes Avengers fanfic—love it.)  She’s smart and funny, with a bravery-loyalty combination that tends to outweigh her sense of self-preservation, but she can also to impulsive, insecure, and reactive.  It takes her a while to get a handle on her powers, which feels realistic, especially considering how closely powers can be tied to emotions.  I love the scene of Kamala hiding in the girls’ locker room with one hand enlarged so big her wrist can hardly hold it up, desperately trying to will it back to normal size before anyone sees her.

Ms. Marvel, Vol 4: Last Days

And then, just for fun… Spider-Man!  Just an amusing romp with Kamala and Peter chasing after some baddies who’ve stolen a Terrigenesis cocoon for nefarious purposes.  Kamala is awesome pestering Peter with annoying fangirl questions and geeking out over helping him execute some of his “classic moves.”

Ms. Marvel, Vol. 5: Super Famous

She’s beyond thrilled to get her shot in the major leagues, but it takes a toll.  Kamala is shocked by all that’s been happening in her life that she straight-up hasn’t noticed because she’s so busy, both personal (her close friend Bruno getting a girlfriend who isn’t her) and professional (a definitely-shady real-estate outfit using her likeness to promote their gentrification agenda.)  Frantically playing catchup, Kamala tries to do it all on her own, wanting to prove she can handle herself, but with less-than-stellar results.

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I really enjoy the theme of Kamala having too many balls in the air but stubbornly trying to do it all—both because she genuinely loves everything she’s involved in and because she doesn’t want the Avengers (read:  her heroes/new colleagues) to think she’s just some kid who’s out of her league.  The mistakes she makes here feel real and well-earned thematically, and even though some of them are definite doozies, they’re drawn so organically from who she is as a character that I can totally buy Kamala getting herself into this situation.

Favorite Characters: Kamala Khan

Despite her love for all things superheroics, especially Captain Marvel, Kamala Khan never dreamed that that could be her, not really. Sure, she throws her entire soul into her cosplay for AvengerCon, but in her experience, “It’s not really the brown girls from Jersey City who save the world.” She instead injects drama and stakes into her ordinary life, planning her clandestine excursion to AvengerCon like an intricate heist.

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Ms. Marvel has always been a spiritual successor to Spider-Man, and in Kamala’s live-action debut, the show really leans into the parallels with the MCU’s version of the webcrawler. Kamala brings so much Peter-Parker-in-Homecoming energy to the proceedings. She’s super excitable and inclined to run before she can walk, she’s incredibly well-meaning but very capable of causing accidental trouble, and she struggles to balance ordinary life and superheroing. In short, she’s a good kid who’s dealing with a lot, and she doesn’t always handle it in the most responsible way.

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Also? She’s just a ton of fun. I love her wild imagination, fangirl attention to detail, and penchant for doodling.

Relationship Spotlight: Kamala & Muneeba Khan

Muneeba doesn’t get Kamala’s intense fandom over the Avengers, she worries over her daydreamy daughter’s flightiness, and she frets over Kamala’s well-being. This leaves Kamala feeling misunderstood, judged, and distrusted, which isn’t exactly a recipe for a healthy mother/daughter relationship.

[lonelyroommp3]

okay sorry i had more thoughts which is essentially like. i think fundamentally you can interpret ok19!jud's relationship with gender as very much being along the lines of somebody who performs his assigned at birth gender just wrong enough to attract people's notice and judgement - he's got long hair, he doesn't come across as especially physically strong or powerful even though he must objectively be quite fit given his job (although the cowman is quite strongly coded as the ideal of virile masculinity in contrast to the farmhand; it's interesting that curly chooses to become a farmer as part of "settling down" with laurey and leaving his flirty playboy days behind him), he's equal parts soft spoken and emotionally volatile (but even in his moments of rage there's not a stereotypically masculine force and strength behind it; even when he shouts and gets to be menacing and scary he's crying about it), his dynamic with curly is deeply homoerotic, hell, curly starts suicide baiting him and his first question is if there will be FLOWERS at his funeral. and as i've already implied i think there's a great significance to this juxtaposition with curly's more successful performance of masculinity, especially given how fish's oklahoma heightens the text's themes of conformity (and the way that, given the romantic plots of the show, this inherently ties into upholding heteropatriarchy).

and on the one hand i do think it's entirely valid and, as much as i can joke about patrick vaill's dysphoria hoodie, the actual directorial intention to juxtapose laurey's two love interests as two cisgender men who experience and express masculinity in very different ways. BUT i think it's also interesting to observe how jud seems to be consciously aware of his own inability to perform manhood in a conventional way but simultaneously seems to reject it. for instance, in lonely room (url drop; roll credits) he goes on and on about going OUT there and GETTING ME A WOMAN TO CALL MY OWN but his actual fantasies about said woman are surprisingly gentle and submissive considering the tone of the rest of the song: her soft arms keep him warm, her hair* falls across his face (implying that she's the one on top lol, go on oscar hammerstein you cheeky bugger). like his comfort zone, in his wildest fantasies, quite comfortably rejects typical expectations of masculinity and - in the way this production is staged - it's only when the rest of the cast step into his space and begin observing him that the angry, possessive, predatory side of jud actually comes out. almost as if it's a performance to fit in better with a society determined to reject him. hm!

*(sidenote on lonely room - i love the way laurey is abstracted in ok19's lonely room in that the principal actress has always been a black woman with dark hair but the lyric about her yellow hair remains. but that is not what this post is about. except it kind of is because his focus isn't on laurey specifically here despite how much he clearly adores her - he just wants A Woman, even one who is quite clearly not laurey, so that he can Be A Man better)

so anyway, that combination of desperately trying to conform to masculinity even though he outright rejects it not only in a lot of his mannerisms and styling BUT in what we know about his deepest fantasies is i think something you can read as a bit There Are Pronouns Afoot Here. i almost view it - i say almost, we know damn well i headcanon this guy as autistic as fuck so there's no almost about it - as that very autistic relationship with gender where you're aware that society has placed you into a specific box based on your outward sex characteristics and you're aware that there are certain ways you're expected to look and act as a result and if you don't follow those rules you'll be ostracised, but it just blurs into all the other seemingly arbitrary social rules you're ostracised for not following and really if you had any say in it you wouldn't really bother with all this gender stuff in the first place.

which, coincidentally, ties in very nicely with my trifecta of ok19! laurey agendas which are

she is also autistic

her primary conflict is also being forced into (heterosexual) gender roles that she fundamentally feels a certain base level of incompatibility with

she and jud are soulmates. not solely because of the above two points but they also certainly don't hurt

all this to say can i hear it for he/they jud x she/they laurey. otp.

sorry i’m not an oklahoma scholar which trans is jud’s gender if i may be so rude as to inquire

i just think if the costume department of sexy oklahoma didn't want me to think that in a kinder world jud would dabble in pronouns they shouldn't have given him a dysphoria hoodie