#this has been your daily aro post

[beegomess]

hii! absolutely love ur posts 🫶🫶

i was wondering if you'd write a bsfs to lovers, mattheoxreader. Like, they've been childhood friends, and kinda of a 'she fell first, he fell harder' lol. Kinda corny but still vv cutesy and fluffy

totally alr if not!

tysm 💗

M.R. || In how many ways can you love him?

Summary: You and Mattheo grew up together, but falling in love with him didn't seem like a good idea, unless he came to do the same some time later…. Warnings: cute and romantic.

A/N: I really hope you like it. I apologize for the delay, I wanted to do something well done!

Open orders!

He was still a child when their paths crossed for the first time. The boy, with black curls and a somewhat lost look, sat next to him at the huge Slytherin table, right after the Selector Hat ceremony. The table, with its long wooden benches and a soft lighting that seemed to emanate a mystical glow of floating candles, was the stage of new friendships and alliances.

You watched him with curiosity and a warm smile, a friendly gesture that for him was almost a surprise. Raised in a home where feelings were non-existent, his kindness seemed like a strange contrast, but welcome. The last name, which made whispers circulate through the hall and kept the teachers on alert, was something that did not intimidate you. After all, you had always been immune to family pressures and expectations, living your childhood immersed in imagination and carefree games, with no time to understand what surnames were good or bad for you. The only daughter of a traditional family, pure-blood and fervently loyal to obscure figures, you at the time barely knew the true extent of the influence of these individuals.

Mattheo, with few friendship options in his new environment, has found in you a safe haven. Without knowing it, he was about to enter into a relationship that would become a fundamental foundation in his life. His family, despite not being overly affectionate, was a better refuge than the dark environment provided by Bellatrix. Accepting Mattheo was a gesture of generosity that quickly became something essential; he found in his house a new form of belonging, mainly because, due to the implicit rivalry, the family itself would not welcome him with open arms, especially Draco, with whom he had a feeling of competitiveness created by the blonde.

The birthdays and natals in his house became annual milestones for Mattheo, and he became a constant and comforting presence during his pre-adolescence. The proximity between you has grown, and in several moments, he became your closest friend. During the first year at Hogwarts, you explored every corner of the school with enthusiasm and mischief. Mattheo, with bright eyes and a mischievous smile, ventured in search of Pirraça, the poltergeist, and together, you two created confusions that made the uncontrolled spirit want to move away.

In the second year, a visit to Hogsmeade brought a new layer to their friendship. It was there that you met Theodore Nott, a boy who, despite his closed and reserved countenance, found in you a welcoming and genuine friendship. At the same time, your approach with Pansy Parkinson, the girl with whom you shared the room, brought a new balance to your social life. Having a close female friend was a refreshing relief, a company that contrasted with the intense and often overwhelming presence of the boys.

Mattheo, always attentive and available, listened to his complaints and confessions with a patience that bordered on the exceptional. He offered thoughtful advice, and you trusted him completely. However, there were nuances of your feelings that you began to perceive, something subtle and still in formation, as if a veil of change began to be drawn. You initially ignored these changes, preferring to stay in the course of friendships and daily adventures.

Over time, during the end of the second year, murmurs and malicious jokes arose about the proximity between you and Mattheo. Some colleagues began to speculate and make insinuating comments about the nature of your relationship. Despite the provocations, you kept your composure, simply disregarding the gossip and continuing to enjoy the solid friendship you had built. For you, what really mattered was the genuine bond you shared, a firm foundation in a world full of uncertainties and intrigues.

During that year's vacation, you exchanged letters and met a few times. In each of these encounters, his heart seemed to beat faster and differently, as if he was trying to free himself from a subtle enchantment. The way you watched him changed: every detail of your face, every trace of your expression seemed more intense and fascinating. He looked even more handsome when he smiled, and every time that happened, you felt a mixture of admiration and anxiety.

His parents, who always preferred a male child, treated Mattheo almost as if he were a family member. Gifts, school expenses and even money for fun were offered to him with the same generosity as to you. This closeness made your feelings for Mattheo slow to emerge, since you were treated and treated like brothers, which sometimes made you lose hope.

Her best friend, Pansy, soon realized what was happening. At the beginning of the third year, on the night of her return to Hogwarts, she listened carefully as you talked about the holidays and how much Mattheo showed up at your house, something you loved.

- You really like him, don't you? - Pansy asked, with a suggestive tone that made you turn quickly to face her.

- What do you mean by that? - Your shame made you turn to the bed, pretending to fix the covers while your face turned scarlet. - Of course I like him, we grew up together.

Pansy rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she prepared to sleep.

- You know that's not what I'm talking about... - You sighed, trying to divert the conversation. - Please, he'll never notice how you feel if you keep treating him just like a friend.

You considered what she said, but soon tried to change the subject to escape the restlessness.

- Pansy, let's stop this and sleep. - You laughed, trying to disguise, but as soon as your head rested on the pillow, your mind wandered to that afternoon when other girls threw themselves on Mattheo. He seemed to have changed so much since the previous year, and you only noticed now.

[...]

In the following weeks, you experienced some silly things, like wearing a perfume that he complimented some time ago, or sitting with him in class, enjoying every joke he told you in whispers. You even rested your head on your shoulder during the late afternoon, while watching the Black Lake with its waves swinging to the taste of the light wind.

Every week that passed, you seemed even more attracted to him, but also more and more upset. The girls cared little about his presence when they wanted to flirt with him, and he always corresponded, every time, without exception. Weeks turned into months and, when you realized, you had already been going through this anguish for a year.

You had made your feelings so evident that even Theodore noticed. In a Snape class, after seeing you turn to his and Mattheo's table and smile at Riddle, Theodore leaned over to his friend to whisper something inaudible to the others.

- I think she likes you. - Mattheo frowned, with a confused expression.

- Who are you talking about? - Theo didn't answer with words, he just directed his eyes to you. Riddle followed his friend's gaze and became even more confused, but forced a laugh. - Oh, please, Theo...

- You're pathetic for pretending you don't see. - Theodore commented and laughed, going back to what he was doing, while Mattheo nodded negatively, completely disagreeing with Nott.

On the other hand, Pansy asked you to forget him, seeing how sad you looked every time he canceled appointments with you to go out with other girls. When it wasn't for that, it was when he came to tell you about how the girls were with him. His heart shattered with every word. Pansy began to practically hate him for having the power to do you good and evil at the same time.

- Maybe you should take some time for yourself... We can go out and go shopping or sleepovers with the other girls. - She suggested, stroking her hair while you hugged her after telling her what had happened this time. - You need to get away from him, Y/N. Mattheo may have been your first love, but it certainly won't be the last.

You understood all this, but it was very difficult to put it into practice. It was like tearing out a part of your life by force. The way he didn't seem to have noticed your absence in the following days only encouraged you to continue.

You did everything Pansy suggested: you went out with her, made new friends, and even other boys started to be more interested in you. Mattheo ended up looking for you after some time and you even gently accepted him, but it was as if you were just friends now. You began to understand that he would never really see you in any other way than that, and maybe this was already starting to be acceptable to you.

The relationship with him seemed lighter after this break. You went out a few times to Hogsmeade, and you made him laugh easily under the watchful eye of Theodore, who usually accompanied you. He, as Mattheo's closest friend now, was starting to like how you interacted. Before, he felt a certain guilt and even pity for seeing you sad, but now it was as if you didn't care about the girls' looks anymore.

At the same time, you began to notice the presence of a certain boy, who smiled at you when he met you in the corridors or during classes. Riddle began to miss the times when you turned your face to smile at him every morning in early classes. Instead, he saw you answering small notes that other boys sent you in class. In a job passed by McGonagall, Mattheo practically ran to you to make sure they would do the job together.

The roles seemed to have reversed, and Theodore had fun with the irony of fate. Mattheo hated it when the boys flirted with you, even when he was together, or when they pretended to have problems in some subject just to spend hours with you in the library. And even more so when they insisted on accompanying her to her dormitory after the parties in the communal room. The latter was a huge torture for him, since he knew that this was one of the ways the boys used to finally kiss someone.

The morning after that party, you sat next to Mattheo during breakfast, as you always did. Yes, he tortured himself all night thinking about how long that boy who found you in the dark corridors took to return to the common room, but he tried to ward off this thought, focusing on the fact that on that day, you would go out together and everything would go back to normal. However, his happiness lasted a few minutes.

- So, where are we going first today? - Mattheo asked with a smile on his face, leaning towards you. His face, however, formed a strange expression, something like regret. - What was it?

- Matt, I'm sorry. I completely forgot that we scheduled to go out today... - He was still confused, he just smiled in response, as if the answer was obvious.

- All right, Theo and I can wait for you. - Theodore, on the other hand, had already understood what was happening and just muffled a low laugh.

- No, Mattheo, I'm ready... - His face looked even more confused as he stared at you, who had a slight smile on his face. - It's just that Adrian invited me yesterday and I accepted. But it's okay for you, isn't it? After all, we can go another day if you want.

- Adrian? - He asked still incredulous. - Adrian Pucey? You don't even know him. - Mattheo disdained and Theodore paid even more attention, looking forward to what was to come.

- Mattheo, I don't think you've been listening to me lately. - You smiled, but your irritation was visible to those who knew you. - I've been going out with him for a while, just yesterday we were at the party.

- Yes, but I thought it was just one more of those boys who keep chasing you... - He started, but you interrupted him.

- Don't play dumb, Matt. Even Theo knew... - You waved to Theodore, who confirmed with a gesture, making Mattheo even more angry. A brief silence followed, but you didn't let it last long. - Very well, see you later. - You got up from the table when you saw the other Slytherin waiting for you at the exit of the Great Hall.

Mattheo watched you walk away with a smile that he believed was exclusive to his presence. In the vision distorted by jealousy, it seemed that you only needed to jump when Pucey gave you a light kiss on the cheek, which made a knot form in his stomach. Meanwhile, Theodore just watched the way he clenched his jaw in frustration.

After that morning, Theodore had to endure Mattheo's bad mood for the rest of the week, a constant weight that hovered over him. Meanwhile, you, irritated by the way Mattheo seemed upset with you, avoided your presence for several days. Silence and distance have become your way of dealing with the growing tension between you.

During this period, Mattheo kept a calculated distance, but couldn't help but watch you when he wasn't looking. He spent hours huddled in a corner, his eyes fixed on you during classes, with a tumultuous mind. Every laugh you shared with Pucey was a blow of pain for him. He felt that something was deeply out of place, a cruel disorder in the balance of his world. But the worst was still to come that night.

It was another one of those typical parties in the common room, an event full of laughter and muffled music. Theodore watched Mattheo with a close eye, watching him fix his eyes on you as you approached the sofa where he and Nott were sitting. You were stunning that night, the light of the torches enhancing the brightness of your smile as you settled next to them.

Since Mattheo's feelings began to manifest, he had unconsciously stopped noticing other girls. This change happened so naturally that he didn't even notice. It was as if, suddenly, the world around you had become a colorless blur compared to the brightness you radiated. The empty space next to him at the party seemed to be the materialization of an unverbalized desire, a silent invitation that he did not know how to accept.

Mattheo was completely consumed by a love that dragged him into an abyss of anguish and unrequited desire. Every furtive look of yours towards you was a silent torture, a constant reminder of the intense and unattainable desire you felt. His thoughts revolved incessantly around you, and the simple fact of seeing you interact with another boy with a deep void forming in his chest, an acute pain that seemed to corrode his soul. At parties and meetings, Mattheo felt like a powerless spectator, trapped in a passion that left him distressed and desolate.

Mattheo, however, remembered the reality, seeing you smile gently at him and Theo while you talked quietly with your friend.

- What happened? Doesn't your dear Adrian accompany you in these places? - Riddle's tone was cruel, clearly demonstrating his pain. - I thought they were together here too, since they practically live together now...

You noticed the cold tone, the smile on your face falls and a confused expression takes over.

- What's wrong with you? Why are you so upset? - Your tone was not accusatory, you were really inclined to understand why he moved so far away.

On the other hand, Theo just carefully observed each interaction.

- I'm not upset. - Riddle practically murmured while quickly drinking the last sip of the drink in his glass, getting up soon after.

You and Theo looked at each other, looking for answers in each other, but both just found doubts.

When you went out to look for him, you couldn't find Mattheo anywhere at the party. I was about to give up when an idea came to your mind: the astronomy tower. Taking a deep breath, he climbed the winding stairs, feeling his heart tighten with each step. Upon reaching the top, the night breeze cut his skin, bringing with it the cold air characteristic of the altitude. The wind was strong, hissing in your ears while the stars shone in the dark sky, as far away as the boy you were looking for seemed to be.

Mattheo was there, leaning against the iron railing, with a lit cigarette between his fingers. He didn't seem to notice his arrival, fixing his gaze on the horizon. The smoke mixed with the cold air, creating a soft fog around it.

- The party doesn't seem like your kind of fun today - you commented, trying to break the silence lightly as you approached.

He released the smoke slowly, without looking at you.

- Maybe it's not. Maybe I don't have patience for the same old things anymore.

You crossed your arms, both because of the cold and because of the tension that was beginning to arise.

- What's going on?

He didn't answer immediately, taking another drag on the cigarette. You waited, but Mattheo's indifference began to annoy you.

- Mattheo, say something. - he insisted, his tone getting firmer.

He put out the cigarette against the cold iron, finally turning his face to face you. His eyes were gloomy, loaded with a weight that you couldn't decipher.

- What I don't understand is why you keep getting closer to Adrian... - The words came out with an unexpected acidity. You blinked, surprise.

- Adrian? What does it have to do with him? We're leaving, yes, but you don't have the right to question me about it. - He took a step forward, his expression hardening.

- I see you together all the time. I don't know how you don't realize how ridiculous this looks.

His heart began to beat harder, but now out of anger.

- Ridiculous? Mattheo, you went out with several girls while I was... while I was here, waiting for you to notice! - The words came out in an outburst that you didn't even know you were keeping. - And you never cared what I thought. How can you want to charge me something like that now?

He looked at you, his face tense for a moment before softening.

- It wasn't the same thing, and you know it. - You laughed, incredulous.

- Wasn't it the same thing? Of course it was. You're just not used to seeing things turning against you. - Mattheo looked down for a moment, as if he was fighting against his own emotions.

- I... I was trying not to get attached. I thought it was better that way, so as not to hurt you. But then Pucey came, and I realized it wasn't working. - He sighed, his voice getting lower. - I don't know how to deal with it. With... us.

His words hit you almost unreally. It was all you had wanted to hear for so long, but now, it seemed so distant, as if he was revealing something too late. The silence that fell between you was heavy, full of unsaid things.

- And what do you want me to do, Mattheo? That I end everything with Adrian just because you finally decided to realize it? - His voice had no more anger, just a sadness that even you didn't expect to feel.

He looked at you, the vulnerable expression, something that was rarely seen in him.

- I don't know. All I know is that... that I care about you. More than I should.

The anger you felt was softening, but that didn't mean that things were resolved. The words you dreamed so much of hearing were finally there, but the time, the context, everything seemed wrong.

- That doesn't make sense now, Mattheo - you murmured, taking a step back, feeling the icy wind chill your skin. - I waited so long for this, and now... I don't know what to think.

He took a step towards her, his eyes intense.

- I'm not asking you to decide now. I just want you to know.

The silence between you two was loaded, the night wind cold and insistent, but the cold you felt seemed to come from within, not only from the wind that cut the air. Mattheo was there, so close, and even with all the barriers he had put up, you felt that something had finally broken. He looked at you in a way he had never had before - there was no longer the distant mystery, but a raw intensity that revealed everything he had been hiding.

You felt a tightness in your chest, your mind spinning in a spiral of doubts and conflicting feelings. But before he could formulate any answer, Mattheo took another step towards him, closing the distance between you. His breathing was heavy, his breath mixed with the smell of cigarettes, and when his eyes met, the world seemed to stop for a moment.

- I tried to get away - he murmured, his voice hoarse, but with a sincerity that you had never heard before. - I swear I tried. But I can't, I can't see you with him, or with anyone else. I can't stand it.

Your heart shot, the weight of his words falling on you like a wave. Reason screamed to keep your distance, not to give in so easily, but every part of you longed for that. He was a mystery that held you, that pulled you into a deep abyss, but at the same time, he was the only one who made your heart beat like that.

- And what do you expect me to do, Mattheo? - your voice came out softer than you intended, the cold around you contrasting with the heat that grew in your chest.

He raised his hand, hesitating for a moment before gently touching his face, his thumb sliding down his cheek with a delicacy that seemed impossible coming from him. Your touch was hot, and the simple gesture made you close your eyes for a second, absorbing the moment.

- I want you to choose me - he whispered, his voice low and full of emotion. - Choose me, not him. Not anymore. Not after everything I... that we...

Before he finished the sentence, you interrupted him, feeling that the words were no longer enough. His lips met his in a sudden, impulsive movement, as if all the accumulated desire had exploded at once. Mattheo reacted immediately, pulling you closer, and the kiss that started soft quickly intensified, full of passion and all the tension you had repressed for so long.

The icy breeze around became insignificant, as if the heat between you was the only real element at that moment. His hands intertaced in your hair, and his arms wrapped you tightly, as if he wanted to make sure you didn't escape anymore. Every second seemed like an eternity, and at the same time, it wasn't enough.

When you finally moved away, his eyes were fixed on yours, his face still close enough for your breaths to mix.

- I've always wanted this - he admitted, his voice soft, almost vulnerable, while a smile appeared. - But I was too inattentive to realize how much I needed you. I won't make the same mistake again.

You stared at him, still trying to process what had just happened. With your heart racing, you smiled slightly, taking your hand to his face, tracing the line of your jaw.

He smiled, a rare smile, almost relieved, and nodded slowly, his eyes shining in a mixture of promise and desire.

____________________________

masterlist

xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨

[kyntypes]

I'm not even a therian. I'm nonhuman, but I just have to rant about common phrases (though some are exaggerated a bit for more effect) I hear in the therian community. It's getting really annoying at this point.

"Uncommon theriotypes" Who cares if it's common or not.

"Common theriotypes" Who cares if it's common or not.

"We don't ACTUALLY think we're animals!" Isn't this the entire point of therianthropy?

"This therian still thinks they're human!!! No, no no!" Cool? Okay? Some therians are also human? Also, they don't owe you complete nonhumanity... like... just because they say they're a cat and a human doesn't make them any less of a therian? Some therians hold their humanity to be just as important as their nonhuman side. Instead of judging, ask them questions and be open to hearing out their thoughts and feelings.

"Therians aren't physically nonhuman" Some are. I am not a therian, but I am physically nonhuman, and I used to be a therian.

"Clinical lycanthropy is so scary, I don't associate myself with them because I know I'm human... right guys?? I'm so human wow haha, I am totally 100% a human." Clinical lycanthropy is not the enemy and never was. Your ableism is and has always been the enemy.

"TikTok therians" Why are we distinguishing and stereotyping based on where a therian spends a lot of their time on the internet? If someone who identifies as a therian wants to express themselves with masks and quads online, I do not care.

"It's a phase for most kids" Could be the truth, but what about when it's not a phase? What then? Also, children should be allowed to explore their identity. If it is a phase, then they still learned something from it. Phase =/= unimportant.

"Therianthropy is dangerous" This is usually stated by someone who thinks therianthropy is just quadrobics, and are concerned about the safety of the sport. Therianthropy in of itself is not dangerous.

"Therianthropy is about __" Therianthropy is what you make of it. If you are technically otherlink, but want to call yourself a "chosen therian" I couldn't give less than two barks about it.

"Nooo you aren't actually a therian, you're otherlink, otherhearted, otherkin, otherfix, have a synpath, etc.!!!!" Stop telling others what they are and aren't. This is like telling someone they aren't aro-spec because they don't fit your idea of someone being 'properly aromantic'.

"I'm tired of all the (insert common animal/clade/species here) in the therian community-" Sigh. Folks don't control what species they are. They just are. It's not like canines can choose to not be canines. If I could be something "cooler", I would.

"Fake therian" A non-issue. At least, to me. We wouldn't accuse someone of faking being LGBTQIA+, so please don't assume someone is faking their species.

"Young therians are so embarrassing." These are children. Children. You are speaking about children this way. Pups. Cubs. Kittens. Foals. Chicks. Larva. Hatchlings. We all have had embarrassing moments. It's okay to find children annoying, but please don't go out of your way to harass and hate on a child just because you think you know more than them.

"Trust me, you DON'T want to be a therian... it's so painful, it's so awful, it's so terrible. I am suffering daily because of my shifts, and phantom shifts suck. I don't know why someone would ever want to induce shifts at all. Why would you ever want to shift? Why would you want this?" I see these all the time under Reddit posts in r/Therian. It makes therianthropy seem like this all-around painful thing. It was never painful for me. I never had an issue when I identified as a therian. It's a valid thing to not like your therianthropy, but making therianthropy seem universally painful only increases stigma, and erases those who have fun and find joy in their therianthropy.

"Therians aren't delusional." Some are. Some identifiy as endels. Making harmful generalizations like these gets the community nowhere, not to mention, it erases many experiences as well. Delusional is not a dirty word. You could have delusions of things and not even notice it yourself.

"You SHOULD love humans. If you don't, that's BAD! Humans are lovely and great! I just love humanity!!! They're so cool and awesome. I think everyone should LOVE humans!" Some folks don't, and that's okay. We shouldn't be spreading around toxic positivity to pressure others into liking a species of beings. We should respect that. If we can respect you disliking bugs, then we can also respect someone who is misanthropic.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

The Daily Mail has helpfully listed all the times Meghan’s rebrands and relaunches have failed.

Archived Link

Here, FEMAIL reveals the Duke and Duchess' projects that, for all the carefully constructed razzmatazz of their launch, have so far come to little.

ARO/Roop:

[L]ittle more has been officially revealed about the brand, with no Instagram posts on the firm's official account since March and the website simply offering fans the chance to join a waitlist. But what exactly are potential customers waiting for? Jam and dog biscuits? A source told The Daily Mail in June that the priority is instead the launch of a rosé wine. It's unclear when exactly American Riviera Orchard products will be available.

Archetypes:

The Duchess, who produced only one series of her podcast Archetypes for Spotify before parting ways with the company, had signed with Lemonada to develop and host a new series. However, a source told Eden that there is not expected to be any work broadcast this year. 'The relaunch of Meghan's Archetypes podcast got pushed back to 2025,' the California-based source says….Lemonada is said to be concerned that there would also be 'scheduling conflicts' between the launch of its podcasts and that of Meghan's lifestyle brand, American Riviera Orchard.

40x40:

It was unclear at the time as to exactly how the project would work, or whether there would be any way to measure its success. But according to The Sun, less than 10 months on, there was no follow-up on the campaign and royal expert Angela Levin said she thought the 40x40 project had been 'cancelled'. She said: 'I think it's very quietly gone into the dustbin,' added that it was an idea of the royal's that 'didn't come off'. There also doesn't seem to be any mention of the 40x40 project on the Duke and Duchess' Archewell website.

Spotify:

Last January, [Bill Simmons, Spotify’s head head of podcast innovation and monetization] blasted Prince Harry, saying it was 'embarrassing' to be affiliated with the same company. 'Shoot this guy to the sun,' he said, according to sports website The Big Lead. 'I'm so tired of this guy. What does he bring to the table? He just whines about s*** and keeps giving interviews. Who gives a s***? Who cares about your life? You weren't even the favourite son. You live in f****** Montecito and you just sell documentaries and podcasts and nobody cares what you have to say about anything unless you talk about the royal family and you just complain about them.'

The couple produced less than 13 hours of content during the three-year partnership: 12 episodes of Meghan's Archetypes show, and a 30-minute Christmas special featuring both the Duke and Duchess.

Pearl/Netflix:

Harry and Meghan signed a five-year agreement with Netflix* in 2020 worth an estimated $100million (£80million) but earlier this year there was speculation that their contract renewal was under threat.

The couple's first launch on the streaming giant was their six-part documentary 'Harry and Meghan' which was released in 2022 and caused controversy with its series of swipes at the Royal Family. … But in May, Netflix dropped Meghan's planned animated series Pearl as part of a wave of cutbacks prompted by the streaming service's drop in subscribers. All references to her doomed animation were wiped from her Archewell website after the series was axed by the streaming giant. A prior description of the series under the Archewell Productions subsection was nowhere to be found after it was cancelled.

*There’s been a lot of speculation over the years about their Netflix deal, but this is the first official confirmation in writing (that I’ve been able to find) that it’s a 5-year deal. This supports my theory that the new push for content (Meghan’s lifestyle show, her cooking show, and Harry’s polo documentary) is a final “do or die” effort to be able to renegotiate their contract and renew their deal.

[aintgonnatakethis]

for the WIP game:

Cupiosexual James Bond - June: Mermaids

What Big Teeth You Have

Thanks for the ask! 😄

Cupiosexual James Bond - June: Mermaids

Part of The Aspec Year challenge, which I'd encourage everyone to get involved in, as the world needs more aspec writing! I've written a decent amount of ace and aro characters, so was wondering about microlabels, as I myself identify as aegosexual. I found cupiosexual, which means someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction but still wants sexual relationship and my brain instantly matched it up with Bond.

There's definitely a discussion to be had around him having had sexual attraction at one point, but due to the frankly abusive job he has to endure on a daily basis, he no longer does. Bodies being a tool is something I've talked about a lot for other characters (specifically David Telford from SGU) and the damage it does to a person's psyche, where they begin to view themselves as a tool and not even a person… Yeah, that's the good shit!

I'm not sure if I'll be going the angst route with this fic - it's my aim but you know how The Characters can be! Anyway I've started it off with Bond bringing Q gifts from his deployments, as I can never get enough of that idea.

It had started roughly six months ago, gifts beginning to appear on Q's desk without anything attached that could give him a clue as to who his sudden benefactor was. There didn't appear to be a pattern in temperament or price. A stuffed elephant one time, a box of the finest Cuban cigars the next, followed by a Newton's cradle with tiny cats hanging off the outermost balls, followed by a puzzle box intricate enough to flummox Q for a record two days - a flattened Roman coin inside - followed by a gigantic cat tree, still contained in its four large boxes. Q had questioned his staff and actually believed them when they swore they hadn't seen who'd left them, even if it seemed nigh on impossible to smuggle so many metre-and-a-half square boxes through the bowels of MI6 without anyone noticing.

What Big Teeth You Have

I've already discussed this one a bit here, but the Telford werewolf idea is an idea completely owned by @judgeverse and I'm merely borrowing it! As I talked about how it ended up in the cracky side of things on the other ask, here I'll post what I was aiming for when I started: some homoerotic violence!

Young's eyes flashed dangerously, his voice very low when he next spoke. "You get one chance to leave under your own power." The back of Rush's neck prickled with warning, but he found himself incapable of backing away from the challenge laid in front of him. Young didn't respect him as it was, and he never would if Rush turned tail and ran now. He jutted his chin out. "You're not going to touch me." Without breaking eye contact, Young dropped his pile of blankets to the side with a thump. A moment later an answering thud came from behind Telford's door, which Rush had a scant few seconds to wonder about before Young planted both hands into his chest and shoved him roughly backwards, sending him crashing to the floor in a wild tangle of limbs. Rush gasped for breath, taken off guard and winded by the sudden attack. He couldn't believe one of the soldiers had actually laid hands on him! He'd been assured by Doctor Jackson that things were different within the programme as compared to the military industrial complex at large. He'd said sure, they can be brusque and stubborn when it comes to what they believe, but we're very strict on who we let into the program. Jack's never put a finger on me. They're good guys.

These two men brawling until they're both bloody and gasping for breath? 😍 They're made for it tbh.

WIP game

[quaddmgd]

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

For any and all of them <3

Hi, Wash! Thanks for the ask <3

link to the ask game

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

Crystal - in games as immersive as Cyberpunk 2077, my default choice for identity is fem lesbian, as that's who I am myself. Oh, and even before playing I was aware of Judy ...existing, so it felt natural to make Crystal lesbian.

Thalia - after creating her 2076 nomad self and thinking more about her personality, it just kinda felt right to make her aro/ace. I've been wanting to explore the concept of platonic love for some time now, which might have influenced my decision too. I want to show the deep connection she has with Crystal and that's my no. 1 focus right now!

Evie - I made her so she and my partner's OC could be Red Dead girlfriends together, but most of her significant backstory focused on her coming of age, learning to be self-sufficient and taking care of her aging father figure. To emphasize her growing up I came up with a kind boy from nearby Strawberry she fell in love with. That's how she ended up being bisexual. She remembers him fondly and she wears his old jacket on daily basis.

EV - Well, EV is supposed to be the Cyberpunk 2077 version of my Red Dead Evie. However, after thinking a lot about what she would be like in 2077, I decided on her having a completely different personality. I don't have a lot on her, so I can't explain it well, but she just doesn't strike me as someone thinking about sex or gender at all. She's attracted to people she feels a strong connection with. That's why I decided to make her pansexual.

Gwen - so in the original Saints Row you can only play as a male character. Saints Row 2 finally lets you create a girl, so that's what I did, because there are too few crime games with female protagonists. Turns out, there's a running joke where characters constantly ask the protagonist whether they did something with their hair, to account for potential changes in appearance between games. At this point it was settled for me - I'm not retconning my SR1 character, she's canonically a proud punk trans girl. As for her sexual orientation, I didn't think about it a lot so I just made her lesbian when I was writing my current pinned post.

Crimson - Metal Gear Survive character creator and animations are based off MGSV ones, where you could only create a masculine character. No matter the choice of body type, bone structure remains masculine. That gave me a great idea to make Crimson trans and make it an important part of her story. She got drafted during the Vietnam War and, long story short, after spending some time there, she joined MSF as a mercenary, where all that mattered were her combat skills - not her origin nor identity. The leader - Snake - helped her embrace her true self and transition. Her gratitude to him is a big part of her personality. Also her being a sniper rifle-wielding trans woman in the 1970s makes her so badass. She's aro/ace, because she's dedicated to her mission - fighting for peace and creating a place for other soldiers forgotten/exploited by their nations - that reason might sound dumb, but it fits Metal Gear.

[kiratheperson]

I posted 24,119 times in 2022

That's 21,589 more posts than 2021!

8 posts created (0%)

24,111 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bobo-the-part-time-clown

@elytrians

@edelgard-enjoyer

@fardf150

@ziseviolet

I tagged 2,185 of my posts in 2022

#goncharov - 549 posts

#unreality - 324 posts

#aesthetic - 250 posts

#save - 243 posts

#overgrown aesthetic - 43 posts

#dracula - 41 posts

#dracula daily - 38 posts

#<- prev tags - 18 posts

#this is beautiful - 16 posts

#me - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i could have gotten ‘total loser of a guy who will never amount to anything’ as a result and it would have been less devastating then this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

changed my theme >:)

0 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

I think u may be stuck on the dashboard of 4 days ago but u should know that martin scorsese himself reacted to goncharov 😳

Yes I do know!!!! It’s amazing this is peak goncharov

The reason Im reblogging posts from 4 days ago is cuz I hit the post limit in like 4 hours on the first day of goncharov and then I filled up my queue with at least 400 goncharov posts. In addition to the normal posts. So now I have 500 posts in my queue. I regret nothing.

2 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

omg that’s adorable I love it

how has your day been btw?

2 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#2

hey feel free to answer this privately or just . ignore it + I'm not sure how to phrase this well but ... are u Asian ? (LMAO) I don't see a lot of queer Asian ppl in my specific tumblr circle so I'm always happy and surprised when I see other asian ppl on here . sorry if this is a weird question ✋🥲

Yeah I'm Chinese!!! Dw, I'm cool with this kinda question, you know since it's in good faith and all. And I get it cuz it's always awesome to see other queer Asians :D

2 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello, I'm once again asking you about your OCs because I'm curious! I hope that's okay? Who are Iphi and Jack? I love the first one's name. And if I remember right Jack is aro? That's neat, I haven't really seen a lot of aro characters before! /pos

Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry this is pretty late btw, I haven’t had time to answer it lol

(That’s Iphi on the left, Jack on the right. First is a picrew, second isn’t my art but like. I haven’t drawn Jack yet so that’s kinda their ref for now)

But it is rant time!! Imma start with Iphi! Because I kinda need to explain her to give context for Jack’s lore. 

So Iphi is the god of sacrifice in this little fantasy world I made, Kunyang! She’s a pretty old god, a couple of thousand years old, but she’s still the second youngest one lol.

In Kunyang, gods are born when they sprout from the seeds of the god tree. The god tree is in the divine realm, which is a different realm entirely from the physical realm, but very rarely, a god seed can arrive in the physical realm.

Anyways, this seed fell into the hands of a very magically powerful person. They had magic potential that could honestly rival a god- and yeah, they believed they were destined for great things because of it. So, they were determined to be the person who caused the god seed to sprout.

So in Kunyang, there was once this library called the Archives, run by the god of knowledge himself, Ephius. This person went to Ephius, and they were told that the seed was for the god of sacrifice. Ephius told the person that to sprout a god seed, they’d need sacrifices from thousands of people. This person wanted to do it, all by themself.

And so, they sacrificed everything. Family, friends, fortune, and fame. All gone, in the hopes of making a legacy. The seed did not sprout, because it wasn’t enough. So this person decided that they would need to make a very big sacrifice, one big enough to make the seed sprout.

They decided to banish the Archives from the physical realm into the divine realm, sacrificing humanity’s access to the library of all knowledge. And that was indeed a big enough sacrifice to give birth to a new god!

And that’s how Iphi was created. But the thing is- that’s really not how you’re supposed to create a god. So she was kind of corrupted from birth. This corruption prevented her from having a lot of character traits that one might consider important to being human.

Iphi does not feel happiness, or satisfaction. No sorrow or regret. Nothing of that sort. But she is working towards a goal: and that is creating a legacy. Having an effect on the world. (Her only contributor to her creation imprinted heavily on her.)

And because of that, she is very active in all manners of sacrifice. Every day, she’s constantly getting people to make sacrifices to her, amassing followers in many different lands. This also increases her powers heavily.

The way her powers work, they’re kinda like payment based. She gets someone to sacrifice something for her, and she can create something else of equal value to that something. (The more important that something was to the person who sacrificed it, the more she can create and do.) Like, she could make a giant wall of fire, or acid rain, or bury a country in gold if she had enough magic. Which she absolutely does. But she mostly saves the magic potential she receives for later.

And also, Iphi doesn’t truly care about anything other than making a mark on the world. She doesn’t mind if people die or suffer because her sacrifices took something too important- if anything, she wants to do that, because it’s quite a way of making your mark on the world.

Oh, and I gotta add- she can’t do this all without a little help! And that’s where Jack comes in.

They’re also a couple thousand years old, but quite younger than Iphi. So they used to be a court jester. Mortal and everything. They should have had a life of a normal length, be just another person in the world, but then they fell in love with Iphi.

And yeah they’re aromantic! It’s not romantic love, it’s alterous love. But yeah they felt a deep emotional attraction, and they wanted to be in a relationship (not a romantic or platonic one though). Anyways, Iphi doesn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t love Jack. But she thought it was convenient to have someone in love with her, and to keep them around, so she offered Jack a sacrifice.

She’d give them eternity, and they would be her servant.

Jack honestly didn’t want to do that at first, but then they had a near-death experience, and agreed to her terms.

So Iphi took their physical body, and also their independence.

Because it would be inconvenient if her servant got bored or wanted to take back the sacrifice. So Jack quite literally cannot think unless she wills it. They’re barely conscious until Iphi needs them, and only then can they think again.

Jack isn’t even aware this happens. To them, it feels like they just woke up, or they just simply forgot what happened during that time

Iphi also messed with Jack’s mind a bit, to amplify their devotion. And yeah, Jack is completely, utterly devoted to her. They would die for her, they’d be tortured for her, they would kill for her too. Nothing is off the table. They’d do anything she says. And they truly love her.

Jack mostly stays in the divine realm, usually, until Iphi sends them to the physical realm to do something for her. That something is usually extorting people to get more sacrifices. Jack pretty much curses people, and then offers to remove that curse in exchange for a sacrifice. (That’s how Janessa got cursed, actually [have I talked about her?] but Jack forgot they cursed her lmao.)

Anywayssss there is some more lore, but this is pretty fucking long already lmao so Imma just end this here. Unless you’d like to hear more!!

3 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Hi.

Thank you so much for your very kind and well thought out answer.

I don't know if you understand that you literally just proved my point.

What I call "basic respect" is just that. Basic respect. Which you did not give to me or to any of us. You treated me like I'm unworthy of consideration just because I'm aroace and assume that aroace people don't get poor treatment because... why?

Would you like to talk about oppression? Do you know how many millions of aroace people have undergone conversion therapy for centuries and STILL to this DAY have to suffer through conversion therapy? Do you know how many medical and mental health professionals assume that the desire to fuck and have romantic relationships is intrinsic to human nature and if you don't have one or more of those desires you are fundamentally broken and need to be fixed medically and/or psychologically? Do you know how much aroace people have had to suffer just to live the way we want which is literally to not bother anybody and be left the fuck alone???

We are an oppressed group, not that that even has anything to do with my original post, because it doesn't. All I want is people to see my identity and respect it the way dozens of other identities are respected. I don't know if you're aware of the amount of bullying that aroace people have to face on a daily basis, online and irl, from family and from perfect strangers, just because of the way that we are.

Have you ever tried telling a fandom that you headcanon a character as aro and/or ace? Nowadays that will be received much better, but try suggesting it 3+ years ago and see how well people respond to it.

Have you ever tried explaining to your parents or faith leaders that you have no sexual or romantic attraction to anybody and no desire to form a romantic relationship or ever have sex? Try that one, I DARE you to try that one and see how it goes.

Have you ever been pressured by someone who's interested in you, a potential partner, your friends, society at large, to do things that you have no desire to do and you know will make you feel awful just because that's "normal" and "you won't know until you try it?" Have you ever had to live with that guilt and shame and self-disgust until your dying day because of succumbing to that pressure?

Do you understand a single fucking thing about what it's like to be aroace?

Do you understand a single fucking thing about what basic respect is?

All I want from you and the world is to see me, say "Oh, okay :)" and then move on with your fucking day. I'm tired of being bullied out of fandoms. I'm tired of being bullied out of queer spaces for "not being queer," "not being queer enough," or "basically being straight." I'm tired of being harassed by people who say that I deserve to be treated with less respect in fandoms because "shippers want to have their fun." I'm tired of being told that aroace people aren't valid just because we're "not oppressed." I'm tired of you.

You need a reality check and to take a lesson in what it means to treat fellow human beings with basic dignity.

Hope this helps.

Why is it so hard for aroace people to just get basic respect

[alien-ally]

I posted 398 times in 2022

That's 398 more posts than 2021!

61 posts created (15%)

337 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shmaroace

@wannabehuntress

@aro-aro-aro-ace-ace-ace

@kissimirrit

I tagged 354 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#aa mine - 181 posts

#reblog - 112 posts

#aromantic - 94 posts

#aro - 54 posts

#aroace - 34 posts

#aplatonic - 31 posts

#loveless aro - 25 posts

#loveless - 24 posts

#asexual - 23 posts

#ace - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#not at me imagining getting married and leaving home and sharing a bed with an absolute stranger and finding it absolutely repulsive

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Signs you are aroace:

- perpetual boredom

- you have an eye for quality

- you struggle to make posts like this

(unreliable source suggests 89% accuracy)

18 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

Perks of interacting with aspecs online:

- You can talk and have fun without being worried of unflattering advances

- There’s an automatic solidarity established 

- +1 new ally attained 

- You can be nice and compliment each other without the worry of it getting mistaken as flirting

- A kinship you rarely (or never) find irl

(feel free to add more >.<)

28 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

#3

Peace

So I see tumblr has been giving me daily prompts as part of the mental health month so thought to post a little entry:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about”

- Rumi

Peace is that I think. When you’re able to lie down on that metaphorical grass unrestrained. It’s the serenity that comes with knowing that you or someone has got you. Hence, it can be found in crisis too I believe. It’s feeling all the weight disintegrate from your mind loosening the taut braincells. Peace is the small smile that grazes your lips on a nice dewy morning. Peace is knowing you’re on the right path🤍✌🏽

74 notes - Posted May 3, 2022

#2

Koisenu Futari

Finished watching koisenu futari. The moment I saw it on tumblr I knew I had to watch it and to no one's surprise it has been life-changing. Representation wise and story wise it just kept getting better all the way. I had a smile on my face throughout, while different emotions flickered in my eyes.

Within 4 hours, they tackled so many of the jabs aro/ace and loveless people get, it got sort of overwhelming. And the fact that they did it without being insensitive towards any of the downplayed identities. Without using the ‘we can still feel xxx love' or 'we can still form xxx relationships’ to validate aspecs. Cause no matter where you lie on the ace/aro/apl spectrums, you shouldn't have to be redeemed. The variety of interpersonal relationships portrayed was just chef’s kiss. The entire scene of Sakuko in the aspec club. How one pair of people only called each other when they needed help and still referred to each other as family. Seeing that made me incredibly happy, as an aplatonic that desires some form of a comradeship. Reminded me once again that it’s okay to work out something out of the norm, as long as it’s comfortable for me and those involved.

Personally, as someone with zero allies in real life, I've depended solely on myself for reassurance. So it gets exhausting. Terribly so. Figuring out that you greatly differ from the majority at a young age and battling the perpetual estrangement that follows. Realizing that apart from my family and a few friends no one might ever get to see certain sides of me. Only to get heart broken by my parents who may never truly understand me. For all the times I felt hopeless, every night I spend scrolling through tumblr and aven forums unable to fall asleep. All the instances I thought of coming out to my brother and parents, except dint because I was waiting to reach an age at which my words would hold more credibility. Dealing with the incessant triggers strewn around carelessly. For every single time I felt compelled to justify my experiences and orientations, my right to know myself, when my touch-aversion and lovelessness felt like a disability. The sheer horror and befuddlement that crept up to me while watching the news, finding out about the monstrosities that happened to young girls , children and women. None of it comes from trauma, but without me knowing, at some point, being this way became my trauma. All of it has been portrayed awesomely by this show. It reminded me that although it may seem that way for now, I'm not alone and will eventually find more people like me.

I enjoyed all the characters in the story cause despite their initial bad responses towards their beliefs getting challenged, they were willing to learn. Willing to accept even if they dint necessarily understand. Some even eager to learn more (spoiler: Kazu). But most importantly watching this made of realize just how many tropes could come up if we experimented with aroace characters. We only get crumbs of representation but just IMAGINE the countless plotlines and relationship dynamics we could come up with for aspec characters!!! Including the fake dating trope, lovers to realizing you're aspec to becoming allies trope and so much more. There is so much waiting to be explored. I'm tired of watching people marvelling about love. Now can we please explore lovelessness? I tell you IT'S JUST AS EXTENSIVE as the mighty love itself.

This is probably my hundredth time editing this post. I just can’t finish expressing what I feel about this. Each time feels as though I’m missing out on something. The ending was the most best and perfect ending to ever exist. In the end, home is just somewhere you can return to, someone you can split chores with, someone that motivates you to try out intense recipes (cause when you get to share the food you make is when you reach true content of a successful recipe), someone to help you with your vegetable garden and house maintenance. Someone you can go shopping with. It’s literally anything you want it to be. A family (subject to change) is what you want it to be.

The many times the words aromantic and asexual was shown on screen was simply immaculate. Each and every word uttered by Takahashi deserves a separate frame. From his dream of building a vegetable kingdom to his eccentric udon making tactics. Plus yes, his love for crabs. Can't miss out on that. Sakuko's amiability, love for long coats and Kazu's neverending absorptivity topped off by Maya's affection for pandas.

I give this show an absolute 10/10. Someone is saying we should replace 'sending love' with 'sending cabbages' among aroaces omg that sounds amazing.😭 Underrated vegetable cabbage supremacists please gather around immediately

Okay I'm finishing off, as for my last words: Yeah. People who can't fall in love exist. I'm one of them. But that's not the point. The point is

See the full post

89 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So I'd changed schools this year (junior in highschool), and just a few days ago i overheard a couple of my classmates talking about the lbtqia+ community and asked them if they knew what the 'a' in the acronym stood for, the first answer was asexual, to which i proceeded to tell em it stood for aromantic, agender and some other a-specs, from how they were so eager to learn i went 'wanna know a fun fact?' and came out to them as aroace (later greyapl as well). They told me that now that they know, it kind of made sense lolol. And today in the break while i was reading my book they came up to me asked how their favorite aroace was doing :/ and what my fav flag was

Today again, in the bus i asked another one of my classmates if she knew what the 'a' in the acronym stood for, first answer was agender, i was totally blown away, went woahhhh and proceeded to say what else it stood for. Then. . . she said at one point she thought she was aro. At that point i was enchanted, I Am Aromantic! i told her. we talked about it for a bit, when i discovered and identified with the terms etc. until my stop came. I told her how important that conversation was for me cause I'd never spoken about it to people irl, much less even meet people who knew the terms. She said she was touched. I said, no I am touched.

If those two interactions dint light up my entire car ride (yeah someone has to pick me from the bus stop, school bus sucks ); back home, rest of the day, coming weekend, next week and possibly this entire month. One of them is bi and another bi questioning (the one who questioned being aro). For once, perhaps the first time, to be myself, even if i wasn't trying to be anything else, to have people know, perceive me for what i am, i dint know what sort of weight it had on my shoulders until it was lifted away. Awesome people exist, just met some the past couple weeks and now will always remember these encounters as my first major coming out (i had already to my friends but this one felt different). I was overcome with so much elation, relief, happiness, joy, satisfaction, bliss, peace i wanted to scream it out. So here it is, it's not that hopeless after all

528 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rudolphsboyfriend]

What we as a society need to do is to let friends make out :/

[therealvinelle]

I've always wondered this, but what do you think the Cullen's political viewpoints would be, given their individual backgrounds? if vampires don't change after they turn, then surely they would all be extremely racist (especially Jasper). would this not come up at some point? they aren't like the Volturi because the Volturi are too old to care, but the Cullens are young enough that they have been brought up with opinions on stuff like sexism, racism, homophobia and the like.

Oh fuck.

You get an early answer because otherwise I'll just chicken out and delete this one, pretend I never saw it.

UMMM.

Since I'm guessing you meant American political viewpoints, we need a disclaimer. I am not American, and not too knowledgeable about your politics. Not just in the sense that I don't follow the day-to-day drama, but as I am not an American citizen there are several things I don't know, can't know because I've never lived in your country and therefore can't know what the effects of living in a country ruled by American policies is like. What I do know is based off of the news in the foreign section, social media (by which I mean tumblr posts), and Trevor Noah's Daily Show.

I am an outsider looking in.

Which is really rather appropriate, since the Cullens are too.

The Cullens go to high school and college, Carlisle works, they pay taxes, they own real estate, and submerge themselves in American culture. Esme, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella are young enough that this is in many ways their world, and apart from timeouts they've more or less spent their entire lives, human and vampire, integrated into American society.

Not fully integrated, mind you, they do what they need to to fit in and get to school or, in Carlisle’s case, to work. They go no further. No extra-curriculars for the kids, no book clubs for Esme, no game nights for Carlisle. They walk parallel to humans, not among us.

In addition to this they're obscenely rich, which puts them another thousand miles from the experiences of your average American. They won't deal with the health system, which means healthcare is a non-issue, they're not going to need welfare or other social programs, unemployment is another non-issue. Name your issue, and the Cullens don't have personal stake in it. Even the climate crisis won't be a problem for them the way it will for us.

What I'm trying to say is, American political issues are a concept to them, not a lived reality. Just like they are for me. So hey, you made a great choice of blog to ask.

I'll also add here that you say the Volturi are too old to care, and I agree- from an ancient's point of view, racism is a matter of "which ethnicity are we hating today?", and it all looks rather arbitrary after a while. Same with every other issue - after a while it all just blends together into "what are the humans fighting over today? Which Christian denomination is the correct one? Huh. Good for them, I guess."

I can't put it any better than this post did, really. The Volturi are real people, humans are nerds and tumblr having Loki discourse. Aro thinks it's delightful and knows entirely too much about Watergate (and let's be real, Loki discourse as well), but the point I wanted to get at is that politics really don't matter to vampires.

And I don't think they matter to the Cullens either.

So, moving on to the next point while regretting I didn't put headlines in this post, I'll just state that I don't think vampires' minds are frozen. Their brains are unable to develop further, and they can never forget anything, but... well, this isn't the post for that, but in order for this to be true of vampires they would barely be sentient. They would not be able to process new impressions, to learn new things, nor to have an independent thought process. Yes, we see vampires in-universe (namely, Edward, who romanticizes himself and vampires) believe they're frozen and can never change, but there is no indication that this is a widespread belief, or even true. Quite the contrary - Carlisle went from a preacher's son who wanted to burn all the demons to living in Demon Capital for decades and then becoming a doctor and making a whole family of demons. Clearly, the guy has had a change in attitude over the years. Jasper, in his years as a newborn army general, slowly grew disenchanted with his life and developed depression. James initially meant to kill Victoria and hunted her across the earth, then became fascinated and changed his mind about it.

Had these people been incapable of change, Carlisle would still be hating demons, Jasper would be in Maria's army, and James would still be hunting Victoria.

It goes to follow, then, that they are able to adapt to new things.

The question is, would they?

Here I finally answer your question.

So, we have these people who don't really have any kind of stake in politics, who keep up to date all the same (or are forcibly kept up to date because high school) and are generally opinionated people.

Where do they then fall, politically?

(And this is where you might want to stop reading, anon, because I'm about to eviscerate these people.)

Alice votes for whoever's gonna win. She also makes a fortune off of betting each election. Trump's 1 to 10 victory in 2016 was a great day to be Alice. MAGA!

The actual policies involved are completely irrelevant, she does this because it's fun. Election means she gets to throw parties. Color coded parties for the Republican and Democratic primaries, and US-themed parties for Election Night! (Foreigner moment right here: I at first wrote "Election wake" before realizing that's not what y'all murricans call it.)

Alice loves politics. Doesn't know the issues, but she sure loves politics.

Bella votes Democrat. She actually knows about the issues, and cares about them. This girl is a Democrat through and through.

Carlisle doesn't vote. I can't imagine it feels right. Outside of faked papers he's not a US citizen, this is meddling in human affairs that he knows don't concern him.

More, this guy has never lived in a democracy.

In life, Carlisle lived under an absolute monarchy that, upon civil war, became an absolute theocracy. From there he learned that vampires live under a total dictatorship.

For the first 150 years of his life, democracy was that funky thing the Athenians did in history books thousands of years ago, no more relevant to him than the Ancient Egyptian monarchy is to me. Then the Americans, and later other European countries started doing this.

Good for them.

There's this mistake often made by those who view history from a... for lack of a better term, a solipsistic standpoint. A belief that the present day is the culmination of all of history. “My society is the best society, the most reasonable society; all the others had it backwards. Thank god we’re living in this enlightened age!”

The faith in our current system of government is one such belief. We (pardon me if this doesn’t apply to everybody reading this post) have grown up in democracies, being told this is the ultimate form of rule, and perhaps that is true - but remember the kings who have told their subjects they had were divine and the best possible ruler based on that. Remember also that most modern democracies haven’t actually been democracies for very long at all, America is the longest standing at some 230 years (not long at all in the grand scope of things) and they have a fracturing two-party system to show for it.

Every society, ever, has been told they’re the greatest, and their system of government the most just. Democracy is only the latest hit.

This is relevant to Carlisle because he’s immortal and decidedly not modern. Democracy has not been installed in him the way it was the rest of the Cullens, Jasper included. To him- well, it’s just not his world. He has no stakes in our human politics, and as he is older than every current democracy and has seen quite a few of them fall, he’s not going to internalize the democratic form of rule the way a modern human has.

I think the concept of voting is foreign to him.

It requires a level of participation in human society that he’s simply not at. He does the bare minimum to appear human so he do the work he loves, but nothing more, and I find that telling.

As it is I think he'd be iffy about his family doing it. He won’t stop them, but in voting they’re... well it’s kind of cheating. They’re not really citizens, none of this will affect them, and by voting they’re drowning out the votes of real human voters. He does not approve.

Edward votes Democrat. He's... well he’s the kind of guy who will oil a girl’s bedroom window so he can more easily watch her sleep without being discovered, justifying it to himself as being okay because if she were to tell him to get lost he’d stop immediately. Same guy is so sure that he’d leave and never return again if she wanted him to, except this is the man who returned to Forks to hang around his singer, knowing there was a significant chance he might kill her. To say nothing of his Madonna/Whore complex, or of the fact that he tried to pimp out his wife twice, and was willing to forcibly abort her child.

This guy is very much in love with chivalry, with being an enlightened and feminist man who supports and respects women, while not understanding the entire point of feminism, which is female liberation.

He votes Democrat because he’s such an enlightened feminist who cares about women’s rights.

Emmett doesn’t care to vote, but if he has to he votes Republican. The guy is from the 1930′s, and has major would-be-the-uncle-who-cracks-racist-jokes-if-he-was-older vibes.

Esme doesn’t vote, that would require getting out of the house.

More, I just... can’t see it. I can’t see her being one to read up on politics and The Issues, period, but if she has to then I doubt she’d be able to decide.

Jasper doesn’t vote. Alice can have her fun, he does not care.

There’s also the whole can of worms regarding the last time he went to bat for American politics.

I imagine he stays out of this.

Renesmée doesn't vote. She has no stock in the human affairs. Who would she vote for, on what grounds? When Bella tries to pull her to the urns, she points out that she's three years old.

Rosalie, guys, I’m sorry, but that girl is definitely gonna vote Republican. Perhaps not right now as it’s become the Trump party of insanity, but the Mitt Romney type of Republicans? Oh yes.

And for the record, yes I imagine she does vote. To step back from politics would be another way she was relinquishing her humanity, and that’s not allowed to happen. So, yes, she goes to the urns, less for the sake of the politics involved and more because like this, she’s still a part of society in some way.

Now, onto why I think she’s Republican, I think it’s both fiscal and social.

This girl was the daughter of a banker who somehow profited off of the Depression, and who then became part of a family with no material needs that would soon become billionaires thanks to Alice. Poverty to Rosalie is a non-issue, as it is I imagine she views it as a much lesser issue than what she’s had to deal with. The humans can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, Rosalie’s infertility is forever.

Rosalie’s empathy is strongest when she’s able to project onto others, and she won’t be able to project onto the less fortunate at all.

Then there’s the fact that the Republican party is all about traditional family values, and pro-life.

Rosalie, a woman from the 1930′s who idolizes her human life and who‘d love nothing more than to get to live out this fantasy, is down for that. And as of Breaking Dawn she’s vocally pro-life, so there’s that.

This all being said I don’t think Rosalie cares to sit down and fully understand these politics she’s voting for, the possible impact they’ll have- that’s not important. What’s important is what voting does for her.

TL;DR: I bet anon regrets asking.

[arotechno]

Jughead (2015), Issues 7-8: Discussion and Commentary

Boy oh boy am I excited to talk about this arc!! These two issues hold a very special place in my cold little aro heart.

(By the way, do you see that? I managed to get a digital copy from my library via Hoopla, which means you are spared from my shitty phone grabs. I’ll fix the previous post, don’t worry. Try clicking on the screenshots if tumblr blurs them. And try Hoopla, if you’ve got a library card and have been looking to read these.)

Fed up with him sitting around the house playing video games all summer, Mr. Jones forces Jughead to get out of the house and do something outside. Jughead finds Archie at the pool where he’s working as a lifeguard, and convinces him to take time off to go camping in the woods with him at their friend Dilton’s cottage.

They take Archie’s car out to the woods, only to find that the lake is overrun with Reggie’s over-the-top relatives at the Mantle family reunion. Horrified, Jughead and Archie go out on a hike to get away. This is where things go downhill—literally.

Jughead calls Archie out for his growing fixation with Veronica Lodge, whose father is the one trying to clear out Fox Forest. Archie immediately goes on the defensive, but Jughead, understandably, really doesn’t get it. And here’s where we see that this is a divide that has been brewing between them for quite some time, even if Archie seemingly had no idea it was happening.

The boys end up getting lost, which only serves to fuel their frustrations. It occurs to Jughead, some time later, that the lake they’re camping at is not that far from Camp Lucey, an all-girls summer camp. Shocked and hurt, he accuses Archie of only agreeing to go on the trip to pick up girls, and not to hang out with him. He tackles Archie and they tumble down a hill into the woods below.

This is a really interesting story, from an aro’s perspective. Jughead can’t relate to Archie’s teenage obsession with girls, and it isn’t something they can bond over like other friends may have been able to do. On a simple level, all Jughead really wants to do is hang out with his best friend, just the two of them, just like old times—back when they were younger, before Archie’s interest in girls seemed to take over his every waking moment. Importantly, Jughead never objects to Archie’s romantic pursuits on principle (he does have an issue with Veronica, but that has to do more with her father’s actions than her). It isn’t that he wants to stand in the way of Archie’s happiness—he just feels left behind, and that’s something I think a lot of aromantic people, teenagers especially, can resonate with.

Eventually, Archie and Jughead run into Mr. Weatherbee of all people, who begrudgingly offers to help lead them back to camp. It’s at this point that we get one of my favorite moments in the entire series, one that I have waxed poetic about on this blog before and probably will again.

Archie insists that he is in fact here to hang out with Jughead, and that he’s just being dramatic. Jughead, on the other hand, insists that Archie’s the one being dramatic with his love triangle problems, to which Archie replies:

“Look, I’m not going to apologize for being a normal guy, I—”

And Jughead’s reaction to those words has stuck with me since the first time I read this. He’s shocked, hurt, and clearly a little angry that Archie would say something like that. And it’s a subtle moment, one that you might not even feel the gravity of if you didn’t know that Jughead was aro. What’s most important here, though, isn’t Jughead’s reaction, but the fact that Archie is clearly in the wrong, and he knows it. He tries to backtrack immediately (“Jughead! I didn’t mean it like that! Wait!”), but Jughead ignores him, as Mr. Bee has already gotten them lost again.

This singular page is, to me, a deeper and more nuanced portrayal than many works with “on-the-page” canon aromantic characters. This arc isn’t about Jughead being aro (in fact, none of the comics particularly are). But this is a meaningful incorporation of Jughead’s orientation into his daily life and his relationships with other people—namely, with his best friend. Although Jughead is being somewhat harsh with Archie, never does the narrative place him in the wrong for feeling abandoned, hurt, or angry because of Archie’s words and actions. Even Archie, his best friend, is capable of saying things that hurt him, and his words in this scene are never excused or justified by the narrative.

It also means a lot to me that Archie apologizes the second he gets the chance to, and that Jughead is quick to forgive him and explain that he just misses the time before Archie was so obsessed with girls. I wouldn’t want the story to just turn into a feud between them. You know when you’re on a trip with your friends and you get lost and you’re tired and frustrated you just end up airing your grievances and coming out of it with a new understanding of your friendship while trying to solve the mess you’re in? That’s what this arc is.

Anyway, after a run-in with Reggie’s relative and Mr. Weatherbee’s old high school bully Ted Mantle, the trio manage to make it out of the woods—after several hours of walking until the sun has come up. There, they find that Camp Lucey has actually been renamed, and is now a camp for elementary school girls, where Betty happens to be working. So after all of that, Archie just ends up making a fool of himself, like usual. Mr. Bee’s wife drives over to rescue them and brings the boys back to Dilton’s cottage, where she remarks that she’s heard a lot about Archie and Jughead, and that they’re inseparable.

At its core, this is a story about friendship. It’s about the difficulties that come with realizing you can’t always relate to each other, and you can’t always read each other’s minds, and you sometimes say the wrong thing without meaning to. It’s a story about growing up, but not necessarily growing apart, and being able to reconcile your differences.

Archie assumes that after all of their bickering, Jughead would just want to go home and not hang out with him anymore. But turning back now would be contrary to what Jughead wanted in the first place, which was just to hang out with his best friend.

All’s well that end’s well, and Jughead and Archie patch things over and vow that they will always be best friends. It’s a wholesome moment, and reflects a common struggle for aspec teens that I rarely see addressed in media, if at all. Sometimes, it feels like your friends are all moving on without you, and sometimes they don’t even realize it when they’ve been neglecting your friendship. It takes communication to work these things out, and I’m happy to see that illustrated here.

This arc is my favorite, I think, and there’s reasons for that even outside of the aspects I’ve already detailed here. The kids getting lost in the woods on summer vacation is a fun way of framing the deeper story, and there are a lot of funny and endearing moments in these two issues. (Archie falls on his face, a lot, and Mr. Weatherbee is stoically exasperated with both of their antics.)

These are the last issues written by Chip Zdarsky. So shoutout to him for some of the most nuanced representations of aromanticism in fiction to date, even if he never wrote the word down on the page (I’ll get to that, don’t worry). But these are the first issues illustrated by Derek Charm, whose art style I love (no offense Erica Henderson), and the rest of the volume has a lot of other good aro moments in store. Until then, here’s himbo Archie:

See? Pure of heart, dumb of ass. You can’t be mad at him for long. (He falls into a hole later on the same page.)

Yeah, me too.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Twilight The Volturi Master Post

Aro

Aro, Caius, Marcus, the Bonds of Brotherhood, and Aro’s Old Man Rambling that Only Carlisle Enjoys

Aro Did Not Want to Kill the Cullens in Breaking Dawn

No, For Really Real, Aro Did Not Want to Kill the Cullens

Aro Rewrote All of the Ancient World’s History

Ancient Greece, Aro’s Sexuality, and Sulpicia as Harmony

Aro Did Not Give Jane the Stall Order in Eclipse

Aro is Very Sane

Aro Probably Left Carlisle Dead Bodies

An In Depth Look at Aro’s Gift

Aro’s Not Becoming Vegetarian for Carlisle and From the Outside Carlisle Looks Utterly Mad

Aro’s Likely the Default Sire of the Volturi

Why Aro Won’t Turn Charlie or Renee

More on Aro’s Gift and Separating Himself from Those He Reads

More on Aro and the Murder of Didyme

A Closer Look at Aro and Renata

Aro Can Be Close to Renata and the Twins at the Same Time

Aro Holds Up Remarkably Well with His Gift

Even More on Aro and His Gift (Does He Access Memories in Order?)

For a Character Who Looks the Other Way Many Times with the Cullens, People Sure Do Give Aro Shit

Aro Keeps an Eye Out for Gifted Humans

Aro, Gloves, and the Aesthetic

Why Does Aro Test Jane Against Bella’s Shield in New Moon Instead of Alec?

What Would Aro Have Done Had Carlisle Died in Eclipse? (Scream)

Would Aro Kill Someone with Too Dangerous a Gift?

Aro and Conspiracy Theories

What Would Aro Think of Bella’s Point of View?

But Wouldn’t Maggie Have Caught Aro Lying About the Nukes?

Aro’s Not Wasting Gifted Humans on Hybrids

Aro’s English Accent

Aro and social media

Thoughts on Aro as a Human

How Would the Volturi Change if Aro’s Gift Only Worked Once Per Person? (He’d Be Very Careful About Using It)

Would Aro Have Murdered Didyme Had She Not Married Marcus?

Aro Probably Has Seen Star Wars

Would Aro’s Gift Still Work if He’s Been Alec’d?

Would Aro Have Helped Bella with Her Pregnancy Had the Cullens Contacted Volturi in Early Breaking Dawn?

Does Aro Even Want Benjamin?

Why Didn’t Aro Search for a Gifted Human to Marry?

What Are Aro’s Thoughts on Renesmee?

Aro and Not Loaning Out His Books to the Library (Or a Study of History, Twilight, and What it All Means)

Aro Doesn’t Get Bored of Being Aro

If Aro Travelled Back in Time, Would He Murder Didyme Again?

Okay, But Why Would Aro Kill Didyme Over Marcus? Marcus Seems Kind of Useless

Why Did Aro Murder Jane and Alec’s Village?

Would Aro Turn the Madrigals from Encanto?

Is There a Feedback Loop When Aro Reads Edward’s Mind?

Why the Hell Would Aro Ever Let Bella Go Home in New Moon?

What Would Aro Think of Elizabeth I?

Would Aro Really Kill the Madrigals from Encanto?

Aro and Dumbledore from Harry Potter Have a Conversation

What Would Aro Do with a Vampire that Removed Gifts?

What Would Aro Do with a Vampire Whose Gift is to Know Your Darkest Secrets?

If Carlisle had Renee’s Gift, Could He Have Made Aro Vegetarian?

Would Aro Avenge Carlisle’s Murder?

What Would Aro Do If He Found a Time Freezing Vampire?

Could Aro Be Behind Dracula Daily?

Would Aro Eat His Singer if They Were Gifted?

What Would Aro Do if Carlisle Went Viral on Reddit?

Thoughts on Aro as a Character and How @therealvinelle​ and I Write Him

How Often Does Aro Use His Gift on the Guard?

Aro and His Beautifully Petty Wedding Gift in Canon

What if Aro Knew the Extent of Carlisle’s Gift?

Would Aro Kill Someone If He Thought Their Gift Was Too Dangerous?

How the Hell is Aro Pronounced Anyway?

The Trolley Problem: Marcus or a Twin

Aro Goes on Vacation

How Would Aro Hunt Vampire Cats?

Did Aro Have Trouble Reading Renesmee’s Mind?

Aro Was Fine Not Meeting the Wolves

Aro Recruited Dangerously Powerful Individuals

What Would Aro Think Reading Bella’s Mind?

What Would Aro Do with a Ghost Summoning Vampire?

What Would Aro Do with a Telekinetic Vampire?

No, Aro’s Library Doesn’t Have Magic Mike

Would Aro Want a Time Travel Vampire? (Depends)

Did Aro Attend Woodstock?

Would Aro Accept Someone with Didyme’s Gift into the Guard?

Aro Would Not Want a Secretary to Become President of the United States

How Would Aro Murder the Cullens?

Would Aro Mention Carlisle if He Happened Across an Unrelated Vegetarian Vampire?

No, Aro Could Not Have Reasonably Predicted Breaking Dawn

No, But Seriously, How Can Aro Eat People with His Gift?

Doesn’t Aro Feel Thirsty Because of His Gift?

No, But Really, Would Aro Want a Baby?

Would Aro Kill Edward in a Situation Like Painting Red Madonnas but Where Marcus Isn’t Depressed?

Why Didn’t Aro Comment on Jacob and Renesmee at the Trial?

Does Aro Use Venom Syringes Now?

Would Aro Have Kept Eleazar If Carmen Was Gifted?

What Would Aro Do If He Discovered He Was in a Multiverse?

No, For Real, Aro Would Have No Use for Alice

Is Aro Turning a Billion People in Preparation for a Confrontation with Bella? (No)

What Was it Like for Him to Eat Someone for the First Time?

Does Aro Obsess Over Podcast Style Mysteries?

Would Aro Be Different if Didyme Hadn’t Died?

Would Aro Kill Carlisle If He Knew the Future?

Does Aro Have ADHD? (Uh, Choose Your Own Adventure)

Aro and Escape Rooms

How Did Aro Get Caius to Sit for that Portrait?

Why Didn’t Aro Interrogate Bella’s Friends and Family to Learn More About Her? (He Doesn’t Actually Care that Much)

Aro Would Want Bella’s Gift

Aro Would Be More Concerned About Jumanji than the Bear Dimension

What Would Aro Think About Bella’s Thoughts if He Could Read Them?

Would Aro Save Mankind from An Apocolypse? (He Hasn’t Before)

Marcus

How to Take the Depression Out of Marcus

Marcus Did Not Give the Stall Order in Eclipse

Thoughts on Marcus’ Gift and Why It’s So Useful

Why is Marcus’ Gift So Useful When Chelsea’s Around?

What if a Presumed Dead Didyme Actually Warped Thousands of Years into the Future to Stand in Front of Depressed Marcus? WOULD HE STILL BE DEPRESSED?! (Yes)

What Do the Guards Think of Marcus?

How Does Marcus’ Gift Work Anyway? (With a Lot of Cameos from My and @therealvinelle​ Fanfiction to Fill in the Gaps)

Marcus Compared to Star Wars Darth Vader

Does Marcus Know if God Does or Doesn’t Exist in the Twilight Universe?

Can Marcus See the Relationship Between You and Your Pet? (Doubtful)

Marcus Keeps Up with Languages Because Aro is Annoying

Would Marcus Accept an Antidepressant Vampire?

Does Marcus Get to Have Opinions?

Is Marcus Just Suffering Withdrawal from Didyme’s Gift?

Caius

A Closer Look at Caius the Barbarian King

Caius’ Bad Cop Routine

Caius’ Thoughts on Carlisle

Why Do the Volturi Even Have Caius?

Caius Did Flip Shit in New Moon, He Just Did It Off-Screen

Caius and Technology

Some More Thoughts on Caius

Caius is Not Scarred

Could Barbie Replace Caius?

What Could Send Caius on a Character Journey?

Is Caius’s Gift Ruthlessness? (In My Opinion, No)

Caius is More Ruthless in the Books

Even Though Caius is Bored, Leaving the Volturi Would Not Make Him Less Bored

Does Caius Suffer More When Carlisle is Present or When Carlisle is Not Present?

Jane and Alec

Jane and Alec: I Think ‘Immortal Children’ Does Not Mean What Fandom Thinks it Means

Jane is Shockingly Mature for Twelve

Jane and Alec’s Deep Platonic Sibling Relationship

Yes, Jane and Alec Really Are Twelve

Aro as Jane and Alec’s Father Figure

Alec and Jane Will Never Willingly Leave the Volturi

Jane Would Never Turn Bella

I Don’t Think Aro is Faking Being Jane and Alec’s Father Figure

Aged Up Alec Would Not Date Renesmee

Neither Twin is the Evil Twin

Jane Did Not Go Rogue in Eclipse

Aro, Jane, Alec, and the Trolley Problem

Neither Twin is the Sadistic Twin

Hot Take: Murdering Children (Even Jane) is Wrong

Jane, Alec, and their Traumatic History

Do Jane and Alec Have a Disability?

Jane, Alec, Trauma, and Their Daily Lives

Jane’s Hobbies

What Can Alec Do with His Gift?

Does Alec’s Gift Knock Out Another Person’s Ability to Use Their Gift?

Jane and Alec Probably Predate Hogwarts

Jane’s Power Works on Humans

If One Twin Died Would the Other Be Marcused?

Does Alec Use His Gift During Feeding?

Renesmee vs. Alec and Jane: Who Wins the Loneliness Competition?

Do They Play Fortnite?

Renata (and Luca)

Uncle Luca Took Renata As A Niece Bride: I

Uncle Luca Took Renata As A Niece Bride: II

How Did Luca’s Entire Family Not Get Butchered by Volterra?

Renata Left and Never Looked Back

Renata Guards Caius and Marcus Too

A Look at Fred and Renata

Renata’s Gift

Would Luca Join Forces with Joham After Canon to Breed Their Respective Hybrids? (No)

Would Luca Use Joham’s Children to Breed Hybrids? (Probably Not)

How Might Someone Kill Renata?

Heidi

Thoughts on Heidi, Secretaries, and The Purge of Heidi’s Coven

No Heidi’s Coven 99% Chance Was Guilty

If Heidi Really Wanted To, She Could Leave

Heidi on Victoria’s Fate

The Volturi, Heidi, and the Pandemic

Is Heidi as Beautiful as Rosalie?

Did Heidi Stall the Volturi in Eclipse?

More on the Destruction of Hilda’s Coven

Who Does Heidi Fish For?

How Does Heidi Deal with Cell Phones?

Heidi’s Timeshare Schemes (Again)

Chelsea

Chelsea is Not Omnipotent: Amun Just Can’t Deal With Failure

Chelsea’s Gift is Not Secret

Does Chelsea Know Everyone Hates Her Husband?

Was Chelsea Used On Eleazar to Make Him Leave the Volturi?

A Few Headcanons About Chelsea

Afton

Everybody (Except Chelsea) Hates Afton

Is There Any Scenario Where Afton is Useful? (No)

How Did Afton Even Realize He Had a Gift?

Did Afton and Eleazar Like Each Other?

Okay, but What if Afton was Invisible to Cameras? Then Would He Be Useful? (No.)

Demetri

Nuances of Demetri’s Gift

More Nuances of Demetri’s Gift and Colorful Gift Metaphors

On Demetri as a Target in Breaking Dawn

I Feel Dirty, but Someone Asked for Headcanons Based on Nothing

Can Demetri See Your Severed Limbs?

Didyme

Thoughts on the Tragedy of Didyme

How I Imagine the Murder of Didyme Went Down (I Actually Don’t Really Think About It Much)

Would Didyme Have Tried to Leave Had Chelsea Been Found Earlier?

Was There a Cover Story?

How Old Was She When She Was Turned?

The Secretaries

Why Do the Volturi Even Have Secretaries?

There Are Probably Male Secretaries

How Many Secretaries Are Actually Turned?

How Do Secretaries Get Chosen?

Did the Secretaries Take Care of Volterra During the Breaking Dawn Trial?

The Guards

The Guard and Relationships

Punishment in Volterra

On Leaving Family Behind (Guest Starring Alice and Edward)

Have Any of the Guard Begun to Petrify? (Maybe Corin?)

Why Aren’t More of the Guards Mated?

What Happens with Newborn Guard Members?

Is the Guard One Giant Orgy? (No)

Could a Vital Coven Member Leave? (Yes)

The Volturi Are Paid Handsomely

Are Any of the Volturi Scarred?

Even More on Guard Members Leaving

Thoughts on the Volturi System of Replacing Guard with New and Improved Gifts

The Wives

Athenadora and Sulpicia Enjoying their Tower of Weed

What Do the Wives Do All Day?

When Do Aro and Caius Visit the Wives?

No, But Really, Are the Wives Locked in the Tower Against Their Will?

The Big Three

Could Anything Make Caius and Aro as Depressed as Marcus?

How Do I Headcanon the Turning and Forming of the Volturi?

Aro, Marcus, Caius, and Names

How Good of Fighters Were Aro, Caius, and Marcus Anyway?

What if Aro or Marcus Met Their Singers?

What Do Each of Them Even Do?

Where Were They from Anyway?

Which is Most Like the Romanians?

Felix

Was Gianna Felix’s Singer?

No, But Really, Is There Anything Interesting About Felix? (Probably Insecure)

Corin

Thoughts on Corin’s Gift

The Volturi

On the Necessity of the Volturi for Mankind

The War that Wasn’t Between Carlisle’s Coven and the Volturi

The Tragic Catalyst of Bree Tanner and Other Bree Thoughts

There is No Fluff in Volterra

Some Cultures Platonically Kiss on the Lips, Not Everything is America Guys

The Murder of Bree Tanner and the Volturi’s Morality

The Volturi Will Not Murder the Shapeshifters

Why Don’t the Volturi Drink Bagged Blood?

Why Don’t the Volturi Have Human Farms?

Yes, Bella is a Serious Threat to the Volturi

The Volturi and Environmentalism

The Volturi Will Not Be Making Hybrids

Will the Volturi Outlaw Hybrids?

Would the Volturi Invest in Synthetic Blood?

What Do They Do With the Bodies?

Why All Those People in New Moon Were Eaten?

What Do the Volturi Even Do in Their Spare Time?

Why Do You Think the Volturi Are So Busy If There Are So Few Vampires?

Which Members Are the Busiest? (They’re All Busy)

Do the Volturi Pick and Choose Who They Kill? (No.)

Texting and the Volturi

On Why Twilight is Actually Othello

The Volturi Definitely Have a Roman Bath

Aro and Sun Glasses, Jane and Pigtails, and Tik Tok

The Volturi, Twitter, and the News

Discord in the Volturi (And the Movies Had a Mission)

The Volturi and the Newborn Wars

Are There Rival Governing Covens to the Volturi? (No)

Volturi vs. Our Robot Overlords

Volturi Fashion Trends

The Volturi and the Zombie Apocolypse

Why Do Humans in the Tribe Who Know the Secret Get an Out?

How Often Do the Volturi Turn Humans?

The Volturi and the New World

Do the Volturi Interact With Humans Much?

Volturi Cloaks

The Volturi On Eating People But Respecting Human Life

Do The Volturi Own Air Planes?

Where Did the Volturi Money Come From?

Which Volturi Member Would Do the Do With Their Clone? WHAT ABOUT FELIX?!

Who Would Try the Diet? (Or Vinelle and I Almost Disagreed but Then We Didn’t)

Will Humans Suffer Per the Breaking Dawn Fallout? (Oh Yes)

The Volturi and Socks

Why Aren’t the Volturi Doing Anything About Climate Change?

More On the Volturi and Punishments

The Rationale Behind the Secret (And Some Vampire Blows the Secret in the Modern Age)

Disposing of an Entire City

Do the Volturi Enjoy TV?

The Volturi and Changing Clothes

Would the Volturi Make a Boarding School to Try to Find Gifted Humans?

Did the Volturi Have to Do a Mass Purge of Vampires With the Conversion to Christianity in Europe?

Do the Volturi Even Want Renesmee?

But Are the Volturi Evil?

Had the Volturi Lost the Breaking Dawn Battle that Never Was, Who Would Be Spared? (No One, Death to the Overlords)

Do All Trials End in Executions? (No)

Does Aro Make You Get Ripped Before Turning You? (No)

Irina’s Execution Was Undeserved

How Do They Get Clothes?

What Are the Volturi Doing About Nuclear Physics?

But Do the Volturi Watch Vampire Television?

The Volturi Daemons by @franzias-cave

Had Breaking Dawn Not Occurred, How Long Would the Volturi Keep Hybrids Under Observation Before Coming to a Decision

Who Makes the Volturi Cloaks?

If Alice Joined the Volturi Would Jasper Be Allowed to Stay?

Are There Some Countries Where Vampires Aren’t Allowed to Eat and Others Where They Go Wild?

Is Kidnapping Renesmee in the Cards and Would it Succeed?

The Volturi and the End of the World

What Do the Volturi Do About Vampires in Fiction?

Would the Volturi Place a Gift Swapping Vampire into the Guard?

How Rich Are the Volturi?

Do the Volturi Do Anything for Volterra?

Are There Gifted Members Not Mentioned in Canon? (If They Weren’t Mentioned, They’re Probably Not Important)

Does the Volturi Take Not Gifted Members?

How Would the Volturi Deal with “The War of the Worlds”?

What Would the Volturi Do with a Vampire Who Could Turn People Human?

How do the Volturi Explain the Tunnels?

Is Becoming a Vampire Porn Star Breaking the Law?

Are the FBI Onto the Volturi?

No, But Seriously, Do People Know There Are Catacombs in Volterra? (Very Likely)

Do Humans Fly the Volturi Planes?

More on the Early Years of the Volturi Law

Would the Volturi Change Had Marcus Not Wanted to Leave?

What’s Up wtih the Immortal Children?

The Volturi and Clothes

Could Barbie be in the Volturi?

Would the Volturi Kill a Vampire at Pride?

The Volturi from Least to Most Cringe

The Volturi Don’t Have to Pretend to Be Human

Why Aren’t the Volturi Dr. Kavorkian?

Why Demanding Your Girlfriend Stay Human Looks Dumb and Weird to the Volturi

No, You Can’t Ask the Volturi to Intervene in Your Blood Feuds

The Volturi Didn’t Interfere with Nukes, They Seem Pretty Hands Off, Guys

The Volturi and D&D Classes

Anon Deduces the Infeasibility of Donating Blood to the Volturi

Which Disney Princesses Get a Job Offer?

Why the Volturi Don’t Have Vampire Lawyers or a Vampire Jury

Who Leaves Without Chelsea’s Influence?

What if the Volturi Had a Memory Manipulating Vampire?

Okay, But Do the Volturi Respect People or Do They Just Think We’re Cute or Something?

Would the Volturi Let Up a Little if They Were in the Star Wars or Star Trek Universe?

Would the Volturi Recruit L from Death Note and What Would His Gift Be?

Would the Volturi Recruit a Medium?

The Volturi Policy on OP Humans

What About Cloney the Cloning Vampire?

Would the Volturi Want a Zombie Vampire?

Do the Volturi Act as Landlords and Fix Your Smoke Detector?

Would the Volturi Put All the People They Need to Kill on the Titanic and Sink it?

Is A Vampire Having Social Media Against the Volturi Law? (Same Law as Everything Else, If You’re Obviously a Vampire Making the Secret Known to Humans or Trying to Then Yes)

Would the Volturi Tolerate Eco-Terrorist Vampires?

The Volturi Will Still Kill You, But The Secret’s Still Safe with Cameras

Why the Volturi Have Human Secretaries and Aren’t Replacing Them with Hybrids

[saecookie]

Tu m'as trop donné envie, j'ai AUCUNE idée de qui est ton OC donc je t'indulge : dis-moi tout, je suis toute ouïe 🤗🤗

Ok ok ok ok ok you have no idea what you did by asking me to talk about my oc LEZGO.

So i did kinda of a general post about Sae here (that I spend an hour and half looking for, thanks obsessive brain). That's the OC i've been thinking about.

To sum up a bit of her life: she's a goofball who lives in the pokemon universe. She started with the pokemon trainer school program as soon as she could when she was young because she sucked at school exept for PE, then took a specialty in sciences and journalism - as far as professional high school curricular options can be. On the way, she kept on doing athletic training and pokemon training.

She met some amazing friends (Edgar, Charlie, Aekyel to name a few) and lived through some shit that were community even in our roleplay group.

At some point she found herself enrolled in a cult (of course she didn't realized it at first), where she kept, among other things, on doing pokemon training and rigourous sport trainings. Stuff happened, she got out, anyway.

Story story, summing it up, she finished her high school curriculum. Goes and succeed in defeating the Pokemon League. Enters a post-high school internship with someone she had met previously (called Axou, a good friend of her, the kind of adult who cares for the teens they meet yk).

At this point, because of the Pokemon League stuff, she's kind of a low grade celeb, bc you know, that's not a small feat, but also not BIG. Her fighting specialty becomes a kind of mma fighting where you pair up with your pkmn to fight against another trainer and his pokemon (alongside, as in, you fight too). She's versed in boxing and kung fu. It's kind of like fighting sports in our universe : not big with the general opinion, but when someone gets big, well, you sometimes are in the press.

Things is, her best friend/soulmate Edgar is... Also someone. Also former Pokemon League challenger, he's also an undercover agent for the equivalent of greenpeace/sea shepard in this universe - Sae knows he does some stuff, but doesn't know exactly what, and know that it's his secret to tell when he wants to. They know each other inside out without it, and they've shared a lot of dark past stuff (Edgar was the one to get her out of that cult thing). His unit is notably composed of the current Pokemon League Champion Master, Arthur. So, by proxy, Sae also knows Arthur. (starting to see why she's become big ?)

There are so many things i'm missing tbh. How she's so fucking funny. How she's so always high on energy and like a puppy needs hours of daily exercising to settle at night. The flat Edgar and her got in the capital with the League victories money. How their best friend Charlie is a homeless student who just crash/couchsurf at their place or another everyday and likes to live like that. Her family and their problems. A lot of npc and other people's characters, and her pokemons who also are npc somehow because they each have their own story and personality. How she has a very special relationship with her pokemon team, bc they've had big misunderstanding and now they are very close. How she's fucking flaming ginger. How she was small all her childhood and teen years and she got a stupid growthspurt and now she's a very tall gangly noodle. How she loves roller skating.

Anyway.

What's occupied my thoughts since the morning is the part we've never played. We had a plan with Edgar that they were gonna have a daughter called Oswald, because Edgar's player wanted to play Oswald and they have a habit of playing dynasties, so their characters are always linked somehow to the previous one.

Problem is, Edgar and Sae are soulmate, but aren't a couple. Second thing is, i've realized, Sae is aro, not that she particularly cares or is aware of it.

In the job she next gets, which is in the same lab, she mingles very well with those already working there. They kind of become a queer gang, as all of them, yo'uve guessed, are queer. It's a bit of the formative years for Sae as far as relationships are concerned, because it's the first time she's settled to live in one place in years and so has been able to live relationship or even friendship in a daily manner, and not in a ships passing in the night way. So, like a 20 something years old, she starts sleeping around. She finds her rhythm gathering that she doesn't want to date in a romantic way, but she still date her friends from work in a platonic manner. They're all one big family anyway (if you care, their name are Zineb, Ripley, Alec, Marnie, Kaidan. There's also Isley, the older of the group, but he's more of a big brother and Sae doesn't date/sleep with him him at all). It's all queer platonic and poly because Sae kind of... doesn't care about it, as in, they all know she's not romantically involved w any of them, those are not romantically committed relationships. They just like each other, Sae loves intimacy, so it works from them.

This intimacy, she also finds w Edgar. And, yeah, at some point, she's gonna get pregnant.

She doesn't realize it before it's quite late, because she's thin, doesn't show much and exercice a lot and doesn't care much about her appearance. They know it's Edgar's because dates align. They decide to keep the baby because it's a bit late in the pregnancy. Sae feels very disconnected to the baby, or rather, to motherhood. She know there's gonna be a baby, that she's gonna care for and love, but she cannot reconcile with the idea of mortherhood - and actually never will. Or in her own way, more in family sense than in a mother sense. I kinda parallel it with some form of queerness, to explain that distance she got with it all. Some time when she's almost due, she spends a whole day lying on the couch, watching her pregnant belly, considering this child to come, and wondering how life will be, but still very disconnected to it all.

Everyone cares ofc during the pregnancy. Her group of friends dote on her when she feels like it, and honestly, because she's not feeling very involved, her life goes on. The rest of her family can't just uproot itself, but her father gets a flat in the city so he can come regularly if needed. She keeps on exercising. But at some point, her baby bump starts showing and someone notice, and it somehow ends in low grade tabloid and she lives through a few days of hell w headlines such as "champion Kurami pregnant!!!", photographer trying to get a shot of her getting out of the gym etc. At this point Edgar is out on a mission, so she just calls him and asks him for a favor, can he please make some calls so it doesn't happen because she knows he knows people. And he does pull some favours, and Arthur (champion league master i mentionned earlier, who's had similar problem w his daughter) makes it so she isn't annoyed anymore, and offers her to come the pokemon league facilities to train and exercise and be more at peace. When her belly gets too big, she leaves the fighting for a while and roller skate or goes skateboarding with her pokemon on the docks.

When the baby comes, well. They aren't very good parent. Or rather, they care very well for little Oswald - who's the spitting image of her father, no doubt. But they aren't... They don't know how to show that they care. They don't change their lives much, they still aren't a couple of course (as if they would be closer as they already are by being a couple), and they bring their child everywhere with them, arrange for everything she needs and care for her physical and mental wellbeing but... There's some traditional connection missing ? It's like the child is considered like a friend, albeit a small child one. You can't fault them for anything, except the fact that they don't connect with their child. They know her, they get her to take karate class when she show interest in it, and then badminton. When she keeps on drawing everything she sees, they get her her first camera, and she will grow into a great amateur photographer. They teach her how to rollerskate and ride a skateboard.

Little Oswald actually has a shitton of parents figure. She's got Sae and Edgar of course, but also Ripley, Zineb, Alec, Kaidan, Marnie, Isley, Charlie. Also, kinda grandparents figures : Sae's dad (Sae's mother wasn't very motherly at all, which might... explain some stuff), Axou, Edgar's dad Efren comes once in a while, but he's a very ellusive person (which might..... explain why Edgar is such an absent person in everyone's life), Sae's thesis director Annette. She's always cared for and spoiled.

Once, Sae's found hanging with Isley, who's as platinium blond as Edgar and Oswald, and there's again a small uproar of fake drama as in "is he the real father???" (which is funny as Isley's the only one Sae's never slept with lmao). Anyway, that's the kind of low grade sportwoman celebrity she has to deal with. She keeps on competing in the fighting scene. Edgar is more absent than Sae, because he goes on days long, sometimes even more, missions ; but Sae's also sometimes absent for turnament. There's always someone caring for Oswald, but the child grows also to be a reserved child, not very connected to her emotions. She will resent her parents for some time for that - but that's not about Sae's life, it's about how Oswald will be played and her own trajectory, so i'll leave that to their player.

So yeah, this morning i was mostly thinking about that pregnancy, very big family feels, and imagining those snippet of scenes I explored here.

This was so long, thanks for suffering through this w me, it's not clear nor coherent or exhaustive, so if you want to ask questions about anything, details, her life, her friends, her vibe, her fave food, idk xD feel free i'd be delighted to answer.

[courtlyharlequin]

Breathing Room

Warnings: fluff, no plot just brainrot,  lowkey horn knee, feral and angry Taku coming from nine o’clock because I squeezed too much of her favorite tropes into this

Summary: Humans are strange. Their hobbies and customs are bewildering, but nothing Jade couldn’t handle as he was quick to adapt. Sometimes, he might even partake in said activities. Case in point with hiking. And you, knowing Jade for a decent amount of time as his significant other, came to terms with the fact that he would decline a request to participate in something that didn’t pique his interest. So when you proposed that he play the pocky game with you, you were certain that he would decline. But he didn’t.

A/N: Happy birthday to the Jade simp, @takuyakistall​~! I’m so sorry that this was posted late but you’re already wary of that and thank you for supporting me through such a tough time. Ahhh life just doesn’t want me to simp for my hair wife! I tell you this a lot but I’ll say it again: I’m quite attached to you since you were my first tumblr friend. I didn’t have any in real life or online friends who like twst before meeting you so you mean a lot to me as my first. You always make me laugh whether it be bullying you or rotting over our mains together. Even when we get serious, I still love talking to you. You’re that amazing.  I hope you have an amazing day, one just as amazing as you are. Eat lots of cake and pocky. I love you ♡

“Jade,” you said, tugging at his sleeves.

He sighed through his strained smile as he set down a glass he was polishing. He tucked his hair behind his ear and dusted off his slacks as if he was brushing away invisible crumbs off the garment. It was an ungodly hour. He was working overtime for Mostro Lounge. Today was unusually busy. As vice prefect, Jade took it upon himself to bite off more than he could chew. And he could chew a lot actually. He was a moray eel with two sets of jaws and an immense appetite. In his human form, he only had one set of jaws yet the appetite remained.

The lounge was deserted. Students shuffled to the mirror chambers and headed to their respective dorms to retire for the night. Jade, on the other hand, was sitting on a barstool with an array of glasses and creased brows. You sat by his side, doing your assignments and engaging him in idle chatter here and there. He had promised to help you with your alchemy homework, but alas his duties called for him. In a way. You didn’t mind per se since he helped you understand the material within minutes during his short-lived breaks.

They were about three minutes long and Jade only took two breaks ever since his shift started. You weren’t an expert at reading people like he was, but even you could tell he could use some rest or a pick-me-up at least. Perhaps the latter. Jade was stubborn. He wasn’t going to head to his bedroom until he was done.

“Yes, (y/n)?”

You reached into your book bag and pulled out a small box of biscuits– pocky to be exact. You held it in front of his gaze. He cocked his head.

“Let’s play the pocky game.”

“Maybe later. We can play after I finish. Or tomorrow. It’s late so you should return to your living quarters and get some rest,” Jade said as he turned his attention to his task.

“Please? Think of it as a break. Your last one was about three hours ago.”

“Well, if you put it like that then I shall indulge you, my dear.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as he spun the barstool to make direct eye contact with you. You avoided his gaze as you opened the box, selecting a random stick of pocky and holding it in front of him. He took it and examined it with a perplexed expression.

“What is this?”

“Pocky.”

“Which is?”

“It’s like a cookie biscuit thing with a chocolate covering,” you said, getting yourself your own stick.

“I see. So this ‘pocky’ edible.”

“Yes,” you nodded, biting the pocky.

He mirrored your actions. You watched him chew it thoroughly. His eyes wandered around the ceiling of the lounge. You held your breath as he closed his eyes and exhaled.

“It’s delectable.”

Your shoulders relaxed and he chuckled under his breath. It would have been disappointing if Jade didn’t like pocky. That would mean you couldn’t persuade him to play the pocky game. You looked into his eyes lovingly while he nibbled on the remainder of the stick.

“And what is ‘the pocky game’?” Jade mused.

You took out another biscuit. His brows arched as you waited for him to swallow the last bit of his current pocky stick.

“The objective of the game is to be the last to hold onto the stick as we each take a bite and move closer to the center. Whoever is the last to pull away wins. You take one end and I’ll take the other. I’ll let you have the chocolate end because it’s your first time playing.”

“My, my how kind of you. I almost thought you were the headmaster. All you needed was to comment on your kindness.”

“Ha ha,” you deadpanned.

He brought his hand to chin. He feigned curiosity.

“Though… if you wanted to kiss me you could have just said, (y/n),” Jade gave you a toothy grin, ones he shot at the poor unfortunate freshmen souls that tried to escape the conditions of Octavinelle’s yearly exam contracts before chasing them down the hallways with his brother.

“I-I.. It would be more fun?”

“I jest, my pearl. There’s no shame in wanting to engage in intimacy. I shall indulge you. Though, I have a feeling that I will win every round– seeing as you get flustered even when I embrace you without warning fufu~”

There was not a shred of innocence in his voice. Jade knew where this was going. He was going to do everything in his power to win. He was good at that sort of thing, small ministrations that drove you wild.

When he found out that you were sensitive to neck kisses, chaste or not, he greeted you every morning outside of your first period threshold with a peck on the side of your neck. The first time he did that, you were reduced to a puddle of empty thoughts, a spasm of spiraling emotions and heated cheeks. The following incidents featured your hand instinctively shooting to the spot he kissed, cheeks still hot and bothered. When you had adapted to his rhythm, he kissed your neck in the halls, during lunch, and when he walked you back to your dorm. They were spontaneous and sporadic. They ceased when winter began and you wore a scarf around your neck all day, every day. Of course, that was months ago. The routine faded as your relationship developed. Jade had his share of teasing and came to understand that setting your nerves on fire on a daily basis despite your protests wasn’t exactly healthy. He also came to understand how people might get the wrong idea from neck kisses. He teased you for hours on end for being so lewd, but digressed when you were on the verge of tears due to embarrassment. That didn’t stop his other methods of teasing, but at least you were free from public surprise neck kisses.

Jade loved to tease. He was good at it too. He knew you and your ticks like the back of his hand. You were certainly going to lose this game, but it was better not to let your true feelings show and give him the upper hand.

You inserted the biscuit between Jade’s lips and took a deep breath before taking your end. It was more so a hybrid of a deep breath and a yawn. It was late after all.

Jade’s eyes widened and the stick broke in half. Your eyes widened as well.

“You’re supposed to hold onto the stick for a long as you can, silly.”

He closed his eyes: “Yes, my bad. Shall we try again?”

“One to zero,” you said as you slipped a biscuit into his lips.

“Did that count?”

“Of course it does.”

He pouted as you inhaled and exhaled deeply before taking your end of the pocky. It snapped immediately.

“Jade,” you whined, drawing out the last syllable of his name.

“Apologies, my dear. It seems to be instinctive for me to bite the stick.”

“You can bite. It’s just that the pocky keeps breaking in half whenever you bite it. Maybe try to be more gentle?”

“Two to zero.”

“You’re so cruel, (y/n).”

You giggled as you handed him the stick. He pursed his lips and held the stick out for you to take a bite from your end. You closed our eyes and opened your mouth to take a deep breath once more and the stick snapped before you knew it.

You looked up at Jade to see the pocky awkwardly sticking out of his hand which was covering his face. Mostro Lounge’s dim lights made it difficult to make out many details, but you were positive that Jade Leech was profusely blushing.

“Jade?”

“C-Could you not do that*?”

“Do what?”

What could have possibly reduced him to such an adorable state? He’s usually so composed. He was never this flustered. Out of all the times you tried to get him to break, he was resilient. And here you were, not having any idea as to what you did to make him blush.

“O-Open your mouth.”

“Pardon?”

A yawn escaped from your lips. Jade spun the bar stool around and stared at the glasses with sudden interest.

“Could you not do that?”

“Yawn?”

He nodded.

“Why?”

He mumbled something under his breath.  

“Jade?”

“(y/n), you should have just asked for a kiss.”

The eel stood up curtly from his seat. He towered over you and his eyes glowed in the dark lighting. He pulled out a pocky stick from the box in your petite hands and slipped it in between your lips. There was a small pause before he came crashing down. If he hadn’t been holding your shoulders so firmly, you might’ve fell over from the force that he exerted. He came barreling towards your lips. You weren’t sure if he had even bit the pocky. You felt it snap, but when you parted your mouth to allow his tongue to entangle with yours, you could not find a single trace of the biscuit. The flavor lingered in his mouth, but the pocky itself was nonexistent. Did he swallow it whole?

He did not leave your mind to wander too far from him. He kissed you hungrily and nipped at your lips. His sharp teeth grazed your flesh and you mewled into the kiss. You could hear him growl faintly as he held onto your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He tiled your head for a better angle. You pushed him away. You needed to catch your breath.  A string of saliva fell from your lips.

“Jade,” you gasped as he nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck.

“It would be in your best interest if you don’t do that again, especially during mating season. I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself next time. I might break you in half, dearest.”

Your cheeks flushed as you nodded absentmindedly. Mating season?

He bit your neck.You yelped and wriggled out of his embrace.

“Jade!” you hissed, clutching your neck.

“Consider that a small price to pay,” he chuckled.

You huffed.

“I win this time,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah…”

He packed the glasses onto a shelf.

“You’re free to go now. I’ve finished here so you don’t have to keep me company anymore. Would you like me to escort you?”

“No, it’s fine,” you said, trying to stifle a yawn.

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

“Goodnight, Jade. See you tomorrow.”

Though you had agreed not to yawn, it escaped your lips. Luckily, your back was facing Jade as you exited the lounge so he didn’t see you yawn, but rather heard you yawn. You heard a distant bang on the counter as well as a faint “dammit” from a voice you knew all too well.

It took every fiber in your body to restrain yourself from turning around. You knew all too well that if you turned around, he would’ve rushed towards you and snapped you in half just like a pocky stick. It was best to give him a little breathing room even if you were hot and bothered yourself.

*Note: To initiate the mating process, moray eels open their mouths very wide at each other to signal the start of it. This trait carries over to when (y/n) yawns as Jade took it as a sign for his eel-y instincts.

[volturicangetit]

D.V/F/V- Old man

Summary: The reader is younger than their mate and is teaching them, slowly, about modern technology and its weird vocabulary.

Request: yes/NO

shout out to @kpopgirlbtssvt for giving me this idea. you’re the best

Warnings:none

Wordcount: 1441

DEMITRI

You thought that being a part of the Volturi would be boring. Everyone is at least a couple of decades older than you are and don't understand half of your vocabulary. The isn't the case though. All of the members have been highly interested in modern culture and ask you daily to give them lessons in social media or pop culture. Especially Demitri, your mate. He asks you to tell him about something new every hour or so, every question different from the previous one.

"What is 'swag' and how does one get it?" Demitri suddenly asks. You are a little baffled by his question. You look around you quickly. You're both standing in the throne room, you're supposed to keep an eye on the kings while they are reading some books and looking into some cases. Marcus looks up at you two. He has also been interested in the 21 century, especially the social media aspect of it.

"Well, it's like, being cool, you know? It's a kind of vibe someone has," you explain. Demitri just looks at you with more confusion. You turn more towards him. "Like, if you look cool, if you look good, I can say. 'Look at him he has swag'. But it's kind of old, no one uses it anymore.".

Demitri nods. "Oh," he says softly. "What do you say now then?". You shrug, looking back over to the kings. "That someone has good vibes.". You point at Aro, leaning closer to Demitri. "Like, he has spooky vibes. Those are good,". Demitri quickly swats your hand down to stop you from pointing. You sometimes still forget how the whole hierarchy in the Volturi works.

"Do I have good vibes?" he asks. You nod. "You have fuck boy vibes, but the good ones.". You can see from the look on his face that he has no clue what you're talking about. "It's...it's good. You're cool.". A smile appears on his face as he puffs his chest out a bit. "I'm cool," he says, now in a lower tone than before. You can't help but laugh at him. The three kings look at you for this. You quickly hold your hands in the air while mumbling some apologies to which they continue their reading.

--

The television in the main room is casting a bright blue light over everyone. Anyone who didn't know you would think that you were just a big group of friends having a movie night while supernatural being would get scared and highly confused at the sight of the Volturi sitting calmly on different couches, wrapped up in blankets trying to pick a movie. Demitri has the remote in his hands. He knows how to use the device the best from the Volturi, except for you. The remote isn't working properly though. He smacks the plastic rectangle against him and a couple of times to get it to work. You sit down next to him, pulling the blanket that is laying over his lap over you and as place a hand over his. "No need to hit the remote, Dinosaur,".

He lets out a huff of annoyance as he hands you the remote. "But it isn't working!" he whisper-shouts. You shake your head before letting it fall against his shoulder. "You didn't even point it at the television," you say as you begin to open up Netflix on the screen. You look over at Aro, it was his turn to pick out a movie. "The vampire assistant," he says with a smile. You could always appreciate his sense of humour. You let out a giggle as you start up the movie.

"You're like an old man, totally incapable of using technology," you whisper in Demitri ear. He gives you a small push while shaking his head. "I am not old,". You shake your head, shifting in your position so you can lay with your head laying in his lap. "You're like 1000 years old! You're very old. I shouldn't even be with you, perv." you say. Demitri shakes his head as his eyes are focussed on the screen. His right hand comes down into your head and starts to play with your hair, feeling the softness of it between his fingers while his nails scratch your scalp softly. "I'm not old," he huffs out a final time before remaining quiet.

--

FELIX

"Yo, fossil!" you yell at your mate. Felix turns around, the annoyed look on his face now replaced with a smile. You take quick steps over to him. "What are you doing there, old man?" you ask. Felix wraps his arms around you as he picks you up in a tight hug. He liked using his strength and height to his advanced. He had just come back from another check-up with the Cullens. Sadly, you weren't allowed to come with him. He placed you down on the ground again but he keeps his arms tightly wrapped around you. "I'm not old," he says. You shake your head, reaching up with one hand to lay your palm against his cheek. He melts into your touch.

"Yeah, you are. You are older than my grandparents. That's grossly old," you say as you wiggle out of his grasp. You grab one of his hands as you pull him along with you while you start to walk towards your shared room. "Yeah, but they were human, little one," he says. You shrug your shoulders.

"I'll stop calling old when you stop calling me that," you say with a huff of annoyance. He shakes his head, pulling you towards him and slinging his arm over your shoulder. "Nope," he says, letting an audible pop out after the 'P'.

You quickly open the door of your room once you reach it. You duck away from under Felix's arm as you run over to the bed, letting yourself fall onto it. "Then prepare to be called old, grandpa,". A disgusted look forms on Felix face as he lays down softly next to you and starts to run his hand over your bare arm. "Call me anything but that," he says. You let out a small laugh. "Okay, will do. Old man.".

--

You are only half-listening to the bickering between Jane and Alec. They are in a heated discussion about god knows what. From time to time, they ask for you're agreement to which you mumble a yes or that you're neutral in the situation. Felix is sitting beside you, one arm wrapped around you as he uses his other to intently stare at the phone screen in his hand. "What's a beefcake?" he asks out of the blue. Alec and Jane stop their conversation as you look at Felix with big eyes. If you could blush, you would. "What?" you ask.

Felix shrugs as he shows you his phone screen. It's a post of his Instagram with a comment under it. "u r a beefcake" it simply says. "Umh, you, I guess," you say as you stutter a little. "Someone ripped,". Felix lets out a little 'oh' as he continues to look at his phone screen.

"Why do they call me daddy?". You remain quiet. How are you supposed to tell this old man, who doesn't even understand modern dating, why people get called daddy? "It's-It's a modern pet name. Yeah, like...sweartheart...but for man". Felix nods. He turns towards you as he lays his phone down on the table in front of him. Thankfully, Jan and Alec pick up their conversation again.

"Why don't you call me daddy?" he asks with a smile. This fucker doesn't even realise what he's talking about. You wiggle out from under his arm, laces your fingers with his instead. "It's um...sexual,". His eyes grow big as he quickly grabs his phone and chucks it to the other side of the room. Thankfully, it lands safely on the rug with a small thud.

He stands up from his seat and let's go over your hand. "That's enough internet for me, I'm going to wash my eyes with holy water really quick," he says with a soft tone. You laugh softly at him. "Wait until he finds out porn," Demitri chimes in. Felix turns around, eyes big. "There's more?!". You nod slowly. Felix quickly walks over to his phone, grabs it and hands it to you. "I don't want to go on the internet anymore, you all are gross,". You shrug and lay his phone down on the table again.

"Whatever old man," you say. Still, with his back to you, he sticks his middle finger up to you. "I'm not old!”.

TWILIGHT TAGLIST: @scuzmunkie @thanossexual @prettyinblack231 @kpopgirlbtssvt​ @rexburn12​ @cullens-stuff​

[kerie-prince]

We’re Worlds Apart (1)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj/Muggle fem!reader

Post-Battle of Hogwarts

warnings: language

series m.list | general m.list

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

(gif cred)

"They want... me?"

Draco Malfoy sat across his supervisor in his office at St. Mungos. His eyes widened at the offer he was given.

"Well Mr. Malfoy, you've certainly shown us around here that you do well at your job. If I must say so myself, I believe you're ready for the job," his boss has explained. Draco had recently finished his Fellowship and became a remarkable Healer. So much so that the Santa Marie Hospital for Maj Persons in Buffalo, New York contacted his supervisor to offer him a position as Head Healer. It was an incredible opportunity, one that a person could only dream of.

Draco sat still in his chair, shocked that of all Healers from his department, Santa Marie wanted him. After the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco was determined to change the views people had of him. He was no longer the prejudice prat that he was at school. Draco Lucius Malfoy is now a matured, capable young man. He worked hard and was proud that he did everything on his own. No help from daddy dearest, no pressure of the Malfoy name. It was all him.

"I would love to take this job. When would I start?"

Draco finished filing his paperwork at the Ministry of Magic that was to be sent to the Magical Congress of the United States containing his work permit and all the necessary identification. Walking around London, he grew excited about it. It was a feeling he hadn't felt since he got his letter for Hogwarts.

The next thing he has left to do was to find housing. There was an office located in Diagon Alley that specialized in international real estate. Draco walked into the brightly lit office. Much to his surprise, Daphne Greengrass stood at the reception desk.

"Well, well. Long time no see, Malfoy," she said with a smile on her lips. He was quite relieved to see a familiar face. "Good to see you too, Daph. I'm checking in to see Ms. Moreau. I'm moving to America soon." Daphne was both shocked and impressed that Draco would be making such a big move. They chatted momentarily about the reason for him moving and she congratulated him. Soon enough, the real estate agent walked out and called Draco into her office.

She sat at her desk and gestured for him to take the seat opposite her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy."

"The feeling is mutual, Ms. Moreau," Draco had slightly bowed his head.

"Please, call me Gwen," she smiled as she reached to shake his hand, "I see from your paperwork that you're moving to America, correct?" he nodded his head in response. "Fantastic! Now, looking at the locations for Buffalo, we have quite a bit of selections from houses to flats. Of course, in America they're called 'apartments'. With your budget, you would be able to get this nice house that is just a 10 minute drive to the Apparition office to Santa Marie's." She showed Draco pictures of the house. It was quaint. An all white, one story house that had three bedrooms, a lifted porch, small kitchen, two bathrooms, trimmed green grass in front and a dark stained wooden fence that went around the house. Draco nearly fell in love with it. Its contrast to the Malfoy Manor was warm and inviting.

Gwen had shown him pictures of the other places she had gathered for him, but none of them peeked his interest as the first house did. It was quite silly as he thought about it. Most likely, he would be working long hours at the hospital to even be able to appreciate the home. It made more sense to get an apartment as he would most likely just use the space to sleep and eat. But the house was begging for him to live there. After about an hour long session, Draco made his final decision on the small house.

"Excellent choice, I had hoped you'd love it. Now, before I contact the sellers about your offer, I must let you know this before you sign anything," Draco shifted in his seat. Of course there had to be a catch. A house this perfect needed one thing to go wrong. Was it busted windows? A terrible neighborhood? Shitty pipelines? He nodded for her to continue.

"This is an integrated neighborhood. Both muggles and wizards live around and you might not know which are which for a while." Muggles. He sat in silence, staring down at the photos of the house. Did he really want a muggle neighbor? No, you're past this Draco thought. The old Draco wouldn't even give the place a second thought. But he wasn't him anymore. "I don't care. I'll take it."

—

You woke up in the morning, stretching your arms and legs out of the thick blanket. It was currently 8:47 am, your alarm clock beside you still had 13 minutes to alert you to wake up. Deciding to just get a head start on the day, you walked into the your bathroom and started your shower. The water was at the hottest you took and you went about your daily routine. You said your repeated incantations in the shower as you lathered yourself with soap:

Water, water, wash away. Water, water, cleanse today.

Walking out your shower, you grabbed your towel and recited the next spell as you dried yourself:

By the earth in the soap,

by the air in the steam,

by the fire that heats the water,

by the water that cleanses,

I am cleansed, clean, and ready for the day.

When you were 12 years old, you used to watch your grandmother perform Wicca in her bedroom. Your mother didn't particularly join in on the belief, but also didn't oppose to you starting alongside your grandmother when you turned 18. Now, you were almost 26 and still kept on the same practices.

On the contrary to people's interpretation or views of witchcraft, you called yourself a White Witch; someone who performs good magick upon selfless reasons. You never hexed anyone nor wished any ill fate. The Laws of Nature was surely watching at all times and if you did, expect to get the same fate but in threefold. Not that you even had any reason to do such things, anyways.

After getting ready, you grabbed your bag, keys — which held a protection charm — and went on your way to work. Your cat sat in her tower located in your living room and she watched you walk out. Getting into your car, you noticed movement next door. A big, moving truck was parked and a crew of movers carried furniture into the house. Finally, someone new you thought.

Feeling nosy, you sat patiently to figure out who it was moving next door. Was it a family? An elderly couple? Maybe newlyweds. Right when you were about to pull out of your driveway, a handsome blond stepped out of the house guiding the movers where things were going to be placed. You couldn't hear his voice, but could tell from the distance that it had to be attractive.

He looked around the street and caught you starting from your car. You hesitantly raised your hand to wave at him but was cut off by a man walking up to him with a clipboard gesturing where to sign. You looked at the time on your watch and nearly panicked at how the time passed, leaving you with only 15 minutes to get to work. Hauling ass, your car let a screech out as your foot punched the gas pedal. You'll be able to introduce yourself later, Y/N.

—

A few days passed and Draco was headed for the Apparition office to his new workplace. He had leased a new car to drive there. According to the Magical Congress, wizards and witches that lived in integrated neighborhoods must check in at Apparition offices to not raise suspicions from No-Maj. Seemed quite silly at first, but it really wasn't that big of a deal. He remembers the first time he went to Diagon Alley with his father through the Leaky Cauldron, finding it hidden with a wall that required taps against it. Behind it, a magical alley hidden from muggles.

He pulled into the office building lot with ease. It was clean on the outside and had a sign on top that only read MCA Co,. At the front door, there was a pin pad with numbers on it that kept it locked. Draco pulled the paper from his pocket and dialed the number. The door made a clicking noise which signaled that it was unlocked.

In the front was a young man sat at a reception desk typing away onto a computer. It was a strange sight for Draco as he's never seen one before. He walked up to the desk and waited for the person to acknowledge him.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to the Magical Congress' Apparition Office. May I see your ID pass, please?"!the accent was unfamiliar to Draco, but he nonetheless reached for the pass clipped to his trousers and gave it to the receptionist. He scanned the pass, handed it back to Draco and raised up from his chair to guide Draco to the door which had a direct line to the hospital. "Have a good day, sir!" were his last words before he went back to his desk.

Draco looked at the address once more before appariting into Santa Marie's. Here goes nothing.

—

It was a long day at the office. Setting up appointments with new clients, greeting all the new people he'd be working with, and a surprise welcome party to end it. Everyone he met had different variations of American accents. Some from Chicago, some from California, and some from the native state of New York.

A man by the name of Ian Parker helped Draco navigate around the building. Draco was quite relieved to hear that Ian had lived close by, just two blocks and a turn away. They had lunch together and talked about just simple things about each other. It felt nice to meet somebody and they not know who you are and things you've done in the past.

Once he got home, the first thing Draco did was start to run the shower, gathering his sleepwear as the water heated up. Not meaning to, Draco noticed how his bedroom window had perfect view of yours. To him, it was extremely odd.

You had faux vines that curled around your four-poster bed, a couple of plants that hung against the wall and posters of movies that Draco knows for a fact he's never seen in his life. You walked into your room and went up to a small drawer and dug through it. After a few seconds, you grabbed out some incense sticks, lit them and stood them on the stand that laid on your dresser. Afterwards, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed and started taking deep breaths.

Draco caught himself staring for too long and was about to head into the shower until he saw movement from the corner of his eye. There you sat, but this time, you held items in your hands. One held what Draco thought to be just some colorful rocks. The other hand held a bundle of herbs on fire at the tips. Your lips moved and it had Draco curious. Your hand with the herbs moved in a specific pattern, creating smoke around you. Once you finished, you set the rocks and herbs down at a table and left the room. That was odd. Draco thought. He passed it off and went on about his night.

—

"It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And trust me when I say that Hogwarts has its fair shares of odd moments," Draco sat in the break room with Ian and two other people, Ashley and Blaine. They laughed at the description Draco had of you and settled after Ian began his explanation.

"It seems that your No-Maj neighbor is considered a Wiccan." What in Merlin's name is that?

"Pardon? What's do you mean?"

"It's what they call witchcraft," Ashley added, "it became a popular thing after the Salem Witch Trials. Of course, there's no real magic to it like what we can do, but they nonetheless believe it works."

Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. Muggles are trying to be witches? This was probably the last thing he ever thought he would hear. Inside, a familiar feeling had ignited. A feeling he had, or he supposed still had, for a certain species. He didn't like it but to find out that what he is had become a fantasy to be was upsetting. He was born into this life, not them. Not you.

—

It had been a really nice day at work. People had been kind and you sold out of a new oil you made. As you entered your home, your cat ran up to your legs and purred against you. You smile down at her and made your way to prepare your dinners.

She nibbled away at her bowl and you watched in content.

Outside, you heard a car pulling in. It's probably him. You peaked out the window in the living room and your guess was correct. He stepped out of a black car and walked to his door. You tried catching his attention by waving your arms about, hoping he glanced your way. When he did, you waved excitedly to him.

He stared at you with a straight face, no hint of any feeling. It was odd, people usually like you and wave back but this guy was just looking at you. Not doing anything. You looked around to see if there was something behind you, only to look back and see that he was gone. Ooo...kay?

You grabbed your sweater and decided to introduce yourself to your new neighbor. It had been almost a week and it seemed that he still hadn't acquainted himself to anyone on the street. The cool, spring breeze sent a pleasant chill down your spine as you walked on the sidewalk.

Once you stepped in front his door, you knocked three times. No answer. Three more times. No answer. The lights that were on had turned off and curtains had been shut in almost a blink of an eye. He had made it clear that he was not in a mood to talk to anyone. It slightly hurt your feelings, but you told yourself to not dwell on it. He's just tired from work. Just then, an idea popped in your mind as you headed back home.

—

"Stupid fucking muggle clock," Draco cursed as he was running around his bedroom getting dressed. He overslept by an hour and had 10 minutes to be in the Apparition office to go to work. Damn American laws.

He grabbed an apple, not his usual sour green one but a sweet red one this time, grabbed his bag and ran for the front door. Something taped to the door caught his attention and he halted his movements. It seemed to have been a note someone left. He unfolded the paper and read it to himself;

Hello! My name's Y/N and I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I hope we can become good friends~ if there's anything you need or if you'd ever like to get acquainted over coffee, please feel free to knock on my door! It'd be nice to get to know you :)

At the bottom of the note was a small drawing of a witches pointed hat and Draco immediately knew who left the note. Almost on instinct, the note caught on fire in his hands and the ashes fell to the ground. He dusted his hand off and went to work. As if we would ever become friends.

—

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