#theres another one but its so painful to look at
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I am listening! I am invested! Please yap about your au idea!!
AHHHHHHHHHIIWJHDIEHDIANRRUFIFBFIEBF HFHDB I GET TO YAP ABOUT THIS YAYYYYYY
ok so, I honestly don’t have much of an idea as to where exactly this would go, but just for the basics (which I’m mostly coming up with on the fly, I’ll be honest) here we go:
(this ended up being quite long so everything else is under the break, sorry!)
obviously, ford and bill were not always… separated, as it were. growing up and into his teens and early twenties it was just stanford pines, no “alter egos” or masks or anything of the sort (much as he would’ve loved to be able to hide who he was).
then, when he moved up to gravity falls and began his research, he began to realize that there were so many things that he wanted to do, couldn’t do, because of his reputation. he needed to keep his record clean because if he didn’t, he could easily have his grant money revoked, and any future opportunities in the pursuit of science dashed due to one small slip up. so, he began to look into, well, changing who he was, splitting himself, so to speak, as to be not one but two at the same time.
eventually, it worked somehow (probably through a potion, as jekyll uses in the original book), and he found himself as not just one, but seemingly two people in one body. there was the stanford pines most people knew, the eccentric, odd mad scientist that lived in the woods at the edge of town, and then there was another, completely new facade. bill cipher, named for his often frustratingly vague double speak and extreme use of overly complicated metaphors (yes I’m giving bill’s name a reason, it sort of annoys me that theres no reasoning for hyde’s name in the book but thats a rant for another day).
to begin with, bill seems content with simply switching back and forth at ford’s will, being the way for ford to kick back and let loose with no fear of the repercussions. at least, until ford begins to have trouble getting back to himself. thats when he begins to doubt the true intent of his other self, of bill. its around this time he calls fiddleford. the man may have studied engineering, but in this world he also knows a little something about psychology, and paired with his brilliant mind, ford’s very precise notes of the situation (ahem the journals ahem), and the fact that hes basically ford’s only friend, it felt like the best course of action.
of course, in actual gravity falls, ford does his best to hide bill from fidds but here bill is exactly why ford called him. anyone else would’ve called him crazy, tried to experiment on him or worse, but fiddeford would never do any of that and ford knows it (just to be clear, I do think that if I ever wrote anything for this au college fiddauthor would be heavily implied here).
fidds does his best to help but when bill goes on a rampage one night, going so far as to kill the heir to the northwest family, preston northwest, he knows ford is beyond fucked (just a heads up, the person bill kills being preston may change but idk, we’ll see if I ever actually come back to this au haha). the reason fiddleford originally makes the memory gun in this au isnt for himself, its actually to try and erase the memories of what bill has down from the townspeople’s minds. the only problem is that the next time they see bill all of the memories return and everyone is back at square one. its just too much for fidds, and he begins to turn the memory gun on himself in an attempt to get rid of the fear, pain, failure, and regret that helping his friend brought him.
ford on the hand is mortified by what hes done. I highly doubt that there would be a confrontation type scene, it would be closer to how the book goes, where ford quickly begins to be unable to switch between stanford pines and bill cipher. the au would probably “end” (as in if I turned this into a fanfic/comic/whatever the story would end there) with ford figuring out where stan is, calling and begging him to come up to gravity falls and help him, before ultimately turning the memory gun on himself and ridding himself of “bill” once and for all.
the only problem is that in order to remove bill, he has to remove stanford pines and all that he is as well. now, we all know how this goes in both the show and most aus; stan or ford or whoever it is that is possessed by bill erases themselves/has someone erase them, is weirdly blank for a bit but ultimately regains their memories. well here it… wouldnt work like that. bill(/hyde) is an integral part of ford(/jekyll), to remove bill(hyde) is to remove stanford pines (jekyll), theres no way around that. so, ford sort of ends up in that “blank slate” state for the rest of his life. he called stan prior to erasing himself because he knew stan would take care of him no matter what, and he was right. for the rest of their lives, stan takes care of his brother to the best of his abilities, and while they never get to sail the seas together, and some nights bring unimaginable sorrow for stan, knowing he’ll never speak to his brother again, despite the fact that very man sleeps just a few doors down the hall, they make it work. ford (or, well, whats left behind when you remove everything that makes a person who they are) sees that his blankness hurt stan but he cant do anything about it, and to begin with almost avoids stan, at least before they finally have a talk in which stan reassures “ford” that he’s sure whatever reason ford may have had for erasing himself, it was worth it.
as for fidds, well it mostly works out in a similar way to canon, he does eventually regain most memories but of course some bits are still fuzzy. the fuzzy bits are never fully recovered, as the one person who may have been able to fill in the blanks no longer exists, but fidds is still mostly alright.
the journals… sort of exist? but not in the way that they do in the show, and what does exist stan had from the very beginning. ofc the twins still have to deal with monsters and spooks and whatnot in gravity falls, just not anything that has to do with bill (which means that, of course, weirdmageddon physically cannot happen). at some point, dipper begins to insinuate that the weirdness of gravity falls might have something to do with “ford’s”… situation, which is when stan finally fully comes clean with all he knows about the situation. its not until fiddleford begins to regain his memory, however, that any of them learn the truth of what was going on.
oh yikes, I wrote a lot more for this than I meant to, whoops!
oh yeah, I’m naming this au the “Dr. Pines/Mr. Cipher” au for now, but if anyone has any better ideas or if thats already been used for something else, please let me know!
also, @aaabatteryy I LOVE MARINEFLAMES’ CONFRONTATION ANIMATIC, THAT WAS ACTUALLY WHAT I WAS REFERENCING WHEN I MENTIONED OTHER ANIMATIONS USING A SIMILAR CONCEPT TO THIS AU
oh, and I just want to say that I’ve never watched the musical so thats why this doesnt (intentionally) incorporate any elements of that.
#gravity falls#jekyll and hyde#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde#gravity falls au#stanford pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#stanley pines#henry jekyll#edward hyde#Dr. Pines/Mr. Cipher au#also sorry I’m not very good at formatting on here so the break is a little wonky#mb chat#also also#I started reading the glass scientists!#and OH MY GOD THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO FUEL THE JEKYLL AND HYDE HYPERFIXATION#AHAIDHIEFHJEFIRNFVEHIDBD
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my horrible dastardly creations of mass destruction and misery
kind of flash warning i think idk im just being safe
#adrian shephard#half life#half life opposing force#hlop4#hl#metal gear series#revolver ocelot#theres another one but its so painful to look at#i must shield it from society they arent ready yet
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What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?
(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)
Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:
#ffxiv#wolship#g'raha tia#y'shtola rhul#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#arsay nun#graharshtola#y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw#and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh'#her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo#i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship#someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections#its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either#just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together#or that she could at least bring some cheer to#and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it'#which arsay certainly did#i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags#so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks#graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough#to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her#to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath.#he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life#but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast#so hes trying to build her up in other ways#focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side#and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its#'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter
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(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)
you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscent reader#orv spoilers#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#art i made#the first hyperlink is to the song on youtube the second one is to my translation btw#that caption was not an exaggeration i was deadass like walking back from class with my spotify on shuffle and kinda like#tuned back in to what was playing in my ears and just had a kinda. HOLD UP WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND#honestly the whole song is kinda yjh if you squint and like for what its worth literally the only reason this is tied to like#that scene from 269 specifically is bc i literally just read that part today so it was really fresh in my brain#god the process of making this was so strange too bc i did it in almost one sitting except i had a fuckin SPORTS EVENT of all things#in the evening so it was like. 3 hours straight of doing this 2 hours of playing sportsball of all things then another 3 hours of this#so now i am physically mentally AND emotionally drained! genuinely couldntve had a more exhausting consecutive 8 hours if i tried#btw fun fact in the spirit of like. making life easier for myself all of yjh's flashback frames or whatever are webtoon panel redraws#except for that last one obviously cuz the webtoon isnt there yet (which. wow the processing of drawing that was. very painful)#but its like. I AM THE WAY THAT I AM if given the chance to draw to my knowledge one of the most tragic moments from the story I WILL DO IT#ok looking back theres a bunch of editing errors but also i just. really need to go do my ACTUAL FUCKIN WORK LMAO#god my arm hurts#hmmm i might clean up that 10 scenario sketch later on. i kinda like how the wings turned out#and also kdj's dipshit expression.
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i will admit i did watch that video of that guy butchering that alligator and every time he made a comment about how fatty the tail was i was like. taking notes.
#the way the tail looked when he broke it down was FASCINATING to me. the way the muscles were grouped.#idk what 🐟s looks like in there i dont think theres a realistic analogue for it but i do think its about 70% muscle tissue?#maybe more? or less when theyre eating consistently#i think they mostly stay really scrawny no matter how much they eat but when they eat better their 🐟 traits get more exaggerated.#takes a lot of energy to make new stuff#so i think it would accelerate a lot when they first leave oz and everyone is eating a Lot just because they can.#their fins would probably get bigger too#and i do think itd slow down again as they got used to consistently having enough to eat but i do think theyre just gonna keep getting More#for the rest of their life. i think at some point theyre gonna start getting 'fins' like. webbing style between their fingers and#maybe between their arms and chest. and i think their back fin is one of the main things that gets noticably a lot bigger really fast#have i mentioned before that i think give them another 20ish years and itll be so cumbersome to be on land that theyre just gonna have#to retire basically#i think about them settling on a river or lake or coast somewhere and just getting to be mermaid boyfriend#i do think theyd still drag themself up onto land especially to hang out with hog but they wouldnt go very far#theyre kind of a lazy shit anyways i think theyd be pretty content to do little tasks around the house and take sunnaps#i like imagining like a little house right on the water just stilts. so they can just pull themself right up without having to walk far#because i imagine itd be a total pain. heavy tail thats probably longer than they are tall...#but do like thinking abt them taking naps on a little dock while hog fishes. sighs.
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in the past i never understood how people could ship the faerie and leonard together romantically and i still don't. but i was wrong either way bc even if i don't get it romantically i now have come to understand that they truly were meant to be together as an inseparable pair with an inseparable bond that have taken each other's lives to the point the one would be permanently shaken if something were to happen to the other. always something missing, always something not there....... i was wrong to ever doubt them; truly there is nothing better in this world than the lightless grief of a huge muscular man and the nefarious creature that seeks to endlessly torment him
#gu6chan's musings#drakengard#drag on dragoon#leonard drakengard#faerie drakengard#there's this one 18+ doujin i bought of them in a modern AU and i decided to finally sit down and read it again today and MAN... MAN......#you have me considering things...........#the best way i can explain it is that with a ship like caionard theres a certain underlying mutual grief that shapes their whole dependence#on each other as means to deal with their OWN tragedies and how the other looks to them in the scope of that; its not a romance EXACTLY but#the connection with each other warped by their own worldview (tainted by flaws and past) creates a very demented; twisted undertone of it#theres nothing personal about it to the faerie though that little rat just seeks to cause pain and havoc for the fun of it#and the guy it decided to spend its life tormenting just so happens to think he deserves it so what are the faeries thoughts on that????#none whatsoever. it KNOWS its getting under his skin and he's never gonna grow a backbone and that's all that matters askghsdkhjd#ANYWAYS; reading the doujin over again i realised that..... i learned the true depths of their dynamic with one another and i learned that#the personal aspect is the backbone to what makes romance ROMANCE; as opposed to some other thing. im learning a lot#Thank you; faerinard porn!!!! <3
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rewatching nature i dont want to make one billion posts abt it so heres alllllll my nature thoughts as we go lets go wheeeeeee
#orels 'thats it?' like hes realising there WAS no real point to this other than pure punishment. like he didnt even really learn anything#i realised this earlier but i love all the stuffed animals in clays study. making up for that missed hunting trip i see#the bit of clay going to hand the gun to orel and then pulling away again to gesture some more is really funny#oh my godddddd theres so much more even bewtween grounded and this. I NEED TO WATCH THR CHRONOLOGICAL CUTTTTTT#the number of times clay references either being a MAN or calls orel a girl in this. i seeeeee#IDK WHAT THE BIRD IS i know the bird is Something. it was in another ep but i forget which#i think it was the prequel ep. maybe. sorry man im not smart enough to figure that out#ok theh cup holder on the rifle is crazy funny#eating the dog is crazyyyy i feel like it cld have gotten the point across w eating the deer butttt#idk i guess it crosses that line to make clay seem even more repulsive here. so it works#but also insane seeing the fucking. DOG in the bg of the argument etc#WHY IS HE EATING THE PAWWWWW LMAOOOO. the worst part ever#eurrghhh the way clay antagonises orel over the food. dud u do not have tp one up ur child. seriously#OOUUUAHHHHHH the way orels glare breaks when clay insults him.... blarrrghhhh#stealing this from a comment but how clay says 'look on the blight side' and 'my life is sunny and blight'#cus like technically he HAS a 'good' life. married w kids and a good job. but he cant get any joy out of it and refuses to see the positive#u know. even if he doesnt love bloberta if he tried they cld still get along. and he has a reallyyy sweet kid who adored him#he cld have used his position to make a positive impact#but he doesnt. he runs and he hides and he pushes everyone away#orel tearing up at hearing clay say he hates himself is sooooooo fucking real man. it hurts#been there one billion million times. so painful#interesting how clay extends his hatred for bloberta to Every Woman Ever.#wonder if he had any relationships before her and how they turned out. badly id imagine#he says that marriage isnt for him but its kinda unclear if thats bc hes had a terrible history w love or hes just not interested#not sure if u cld say it extends to his own mother or not.#i guess u cld say that over the yrs his guilt twisted into hating her in some way. maybe for spoiling him so much#like in relation to his comments abt like. making him feel better and then choking him. and weights around his neck#the first is obvs abt the alcohol and the second bloberta#and also vice versa it kinda goes both ways#but i do wonder if he does still feel guilt abt what happened. hes sshown to be deeply affected by his fathers abuse still so hmmm
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the worst part about my incredibly low pain tolerance is when people literally don’t believe you. why would i lie
#its not like. that interesting#it just makes me look that much more weak and pathetic#yes that literally!!! hurts!!! that hurt when you did that. apologize?#dont just go ‘that didnt hurt’ well. it did. so :/#its like sensory issues other people don’t experience them so they assume im lying#volume is a big one for me you cant. yell thats my thing. yelling hurts my ears but its not important enough for anyone to#even notice they do it and apologize i have to go ‘hey dont’. i try to be on top of my tone bc i understand thats important to people and i#don’t always do it right (its not like. actively choosing a tone but it’s more often accidentally having a more. um annoyed or bored or#angry sounding one). and bc i know i dont get it right i go ‘whoops sorry i meant it like this’ but people yell and scream and grab and all#and dont even bother going ‘oh im sorry simon i know that hurts you#i know you dislike that for one reason or another i will continue my effort to not do it again’. and like theres an understanding i try to#put across that i know volume control doesnt come easy for everyone and yelling is often an instinctual reaction god knows i do it. but#like acknowledge. please that you hurt me#i hate my shitty pain tolerance it makes things legitimately harder for me. i have a lamp that hurts to turn off and a hairdryer that hurts#to turn on and off. i like being moved around my boyfriend but it hurts 100% of the time. when he picks me up. thing i enjoy. it will hurt#theres no way around it. it sucks really bad is all. i wouldnt lie about this :/#simons spouting#vent :(
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what if we all exploded and fucking died
#sorry i am having yet another episode of. oh right..i am hard to love. i will forever be hard to love. there is nothing that i can do#that wont make me hard to love#and not that anyone says this to begin with but people can go ohhhh nooo youre not hard to love! but theyd be lying theyd be fucking lying#you dont have to fucking lie to me i know i am i know i know i know i know#there is not a single fucking person in the world out there who would take a fucking look at me and go i think youre worth it for years#no one has to fucking lie to me i know im hard to fucking love its not like my entire love life has made that fucking clear to me#this is why i stopped putting myself out there cause its nothing but pain and heartbreak and another reminder how im an idiot for trying#the worst thing of all is i dont know how to stop being hard to love indont know how to stop it#if i knew how to stop being so fucking hard to love cause i cant fucking fit what people want me to be or how im in their fucking heads#or im too fucking neurotic to be fucking loved#i wouldve started that shit in a fucking heartbeat#but theres no fucking way to change this. oh youll make other people happy oh you cant give up finding the one#fuck off. there is no one. im not meant to make anyone happy in the way i want to#forever liked never loved. you know the fucking deal#whatever im gonna drown myself in alcohol later :D#delete later
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why did god think it would be so funny to give me a terrible terrible phobia of anything to do with losing teeth or tooth pain or infection while also forcing me to go through some of the most horrifying tooth related ailments
#HOLE INNY GUMS HOLE IN MY GUMS HOLE IN MY GUMS KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME#so like. started feeling real bad pain around my upper left wisdom tooth a week ago.#scared it was an abscess or infection of some sort so immediately got scheduled at the dentist.#tuesday they did the exam and just said i need to get all my wisdom teeth out . this much i already knew but its so spensive :'-)#and i was like 'so no infection or abscess? its just from the tooth itself?'#they were like yup#and gave me a referral to an oral surgeon that ended up not even being covered by my insurance lol 🖕#so i have had to call around myself#the one office that has gotten back to me so far. said that my insurance would cover up to 1500. and i would still be another 1500 out of#out of pocket#fml fml fml so hardbi dont even have that much in savings.#so called two more offices about it. did that yesterday evening after both were already closed#and now ots the weekend so it won't be til monday that they get back to me#so i need to be quoted on how much it'll be total#then i need to know if anyone will let me do monthly payments.#haha anyway that was a tangent and not even what im most freaked out about#so. yesterday. looked in the mirror with my phone flashlight pointed at the back of my mouth#THERES A HOOOOOLE#🕳️#APPARENTLY THATS SEMI NORMAL BUT I CANT TAKE IT MENTALLY LOL. HAHA LOL#AND THE DENTIST JUST DECIDED NOT TO MENTION IT#DIDNT TELL ME ABOUT THE HOLE JUST HAD TO SEE IT FOR MYSELF VERY COOL 👍#'man it genuinely feels like my gums are ripping open it hurts pretty bad 😟' <- me clueless to the fact that my gums were in fact#ripping open#killlllllll meeeeeeee
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The sukuna with a shy daughter was sooo good. I loved it! Can we have more of them where its just sukuna and his baby girl in different situations and theres a lot of people and he has to deal with his brat?
peasant food — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
a/n: i am a big fan of sukuna with a shy daughter so i am super glad you like it too
right now, you’re standing beside your dear husband sukuna who stands with his arms crossed, watching with a frown as your daughter hands out food to the poor.
you almost let out a giggle, but then you feel his hand squeeze your hip in warning.
you huff in protest; however, he doesn’t let you dwell on it for long, as he hands you a necklace he just…acquired from somebody.
your little girl, on the other hand, with her wide eyes and gentle smile, kneels by a villager, offering him a bowl of rice.
“here you go,” she says sweetly, her tiny voice almost drowned out by the village noise. “you must be hungry.”
sukuna’s brow twitches as he clenches his jaw. “what in the hell are you doing?” his deep voice rumbles, earning a few fearful glances from nearby villagers. they recognize him, of course. the king of curses himself.
nobody dares to approach.
d/n looks up, flustered by her father’s glare. “I’m giving them food, papa. they’re hungry,” she answers, trying to keep eye contact, but she gives up half-way through and looks away.
sukuna’s eye twitches. “you’re supposed to cause pain,” he growls, leaning down with his arms crossed, looming over her tiny form. “not make people happy.”
you stifle a chuckle, placing a gentle hand on sukuna’s arm. “she’s just being kind,” you murmur, amused by his growing frustration.
sukuna throws you an incredulous look before turning back to his daughter. “kind? they don’t need kindness. they need fear, suffering. let them be hungry.”
“but… papa, that’s mean,” she protests, her little face scrunching up, and her lips wobble a bit. “they’re sad because they’re hungry. don’t you want them to be happy?”
sukuna steps back, his face twisting in disgust. “no. I don’t want them to be happy,” he replies right away. the coldness in his tone is enough for the nearby villagers to flinch.
you shake your head, eyes flitting and watching some of the villagers finally scramble away.
he looks at you with a small click of his tongue. your daughter, however, just looks up at him with innocent eyes, blinking slowly like she doesn’t understand why he’s so upset.
“b-but I like it when people smile,” she insists softly, handing another bowl of rice to a small child who hesitantly approaches. “it feels… nice.”
sukuna groans, running a hand down his face in sheer exasperation. “you’re supposed to be a curse, not some…do-gooder.”
he looks at you as with a quick side-eye.
“I think it’s sweet,” you say, shrugging lightly. “she’s got your stubbornness, you know.”
sukuna glares at you, then back at his daughter, who continues to hand out food, humming happily.
“I can’t believe this,” he mutters, watching her with narrowed eyes. “you’re lucky you’re my daughter,” he grumbles under his breath, crossing his arms again.
your daughter stands up after giving away the last of the food, her face glowing prideful but still timid, as she tries to convince her father with her point of view. “see, papa? they’re happy now.”
“you’re impossible,” he grunts, reaching down to ruffle her hair, though he tries to hide the fondness in his movements. the sharpness of his look returns a little as he says, “this doesn’t mean I approve.”
your daughter nods cautiously, before fidgeting with her fingers. ultimately, she decides on something. “do you want some rice, papa?” she asks softly, holding up an empty bowl.
sukuna scoffs, rolling his eyes. “I don’t eat peasant food.” he straightens up, glaring at the remaining villagers who are brave enough to linger nearby.
with just one look, they scatter, leaving the streets eerily quiet.
“but it’s nice!” your daughter insists, her voice earnest as she pouts slightly, her cheeks puffing out in frustration. “please, papa?”
you can’t help but chuckle at the sight of her trying to negotiate with him, and you lean in closer, nudging sukuna with your shoulder. “maybe just a taste? for her sake? please, honey.”
sukuna’s brows furrow in thought, and he glances between you and your daughter, who is practically bouncing on her toes with hope.
he crosses his arms again, acting indifferent. “fine. just a small bite. but I’m not doing this because I want to. understand?”
“okay!” your daughter replies, earnestly, her face lighting up as she dashes to a nearby vendor who is still watching with cautious interest.
sukuna watches her go, shaking his head. “unbelievable,” he mutters, but there’s no real anger in his voice now. it’s more of a begrudging acceptance.
“who would’ve thought you’d have such a kind-hearted little girl?” you tease, wrapping an arm around his waist.
“she’s a curse’s daughter, not a saint,” he replies, but there’s a softness in his tone that you recognize.
his gaze follows your daughter, who is now engaged in a small conversation with the vendor about the best rice. “she should be causing chaos, not handing out food like some charity.”
you laugh lightly, leaning your head against his shoulder. “maybe this is her form of chaos. besides, look how happy she is.”
sukuna’s expression shifts, and you can see the conflicting emotions playing out on his face. he wants to be frustrated, to be the fearsome king of curses that everyone knows him as, yet here he is, watching his daughter bring joy to others.
your daughter returns, bowl in hand, and holds it up proudly. “here, papa! just a taste!”
he takes the bowl and raises it to his lips, taking a small, measured taste of the rice.
“well?” your daughter prompts, her eyes wide with anticipation.
he chews slowly, contemplating the flavor as if he’s analyzing a potent curse. you can see the wheels turning in his mind, weighing the taste against his own expectations.
“it’s... not terrible,” he finally admits, and your daughter squeals with delight, jumping up and down.
“see? I told you!” she exclaims, surprising sukuna as it is the first time he has seen her so excited. “it’s good, isn’t it?”
sukuna shoots you a look that says he’s still not convinced, but the corner of his mouth lifts slightly, revealing a hint of amusement. “you’ve successfully managed to corrupt my child,” he mutters to you.
“awesome,” you grin, “do I get a reward for being able to corrupt like you do, my husband?”
he rolls his eyes then presses a firm—borderline aggressive—kiss to the top of your head. you pull away and frown, “you tryna squish my head or something?”
“you ask for affection, but can’t handle it?” he tilts his head, a slight smirk on his unfairly handsome face.
“🤏🤏🤏🤏🤏”
“huh?”
“mama, how did you speak in drawings?”
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#sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#ryomen x reader#ryomen x you#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna ryomen fluff#jjk x y/n
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#nah. the pain in my neck is so bad its making me feel 🤢🤢#i had the migrainey symptoms and just knew i was in for a tough night 😔😭#like idk why the pain is in my neck. it always has been. it will always start one side of my neck.#but its been so long since it’s made me feel like. physically ill#theres nothing i can do for it either#like . one lot of ibropufen isnt cutting it#and so i just gotta wait to take another lot 😭 i cant even go to sleep#tbh looking at a screen hurts. can’t concentrate on a book#i hate it !!!!#personal
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reading fight club psycho smut and this is killing me. he ruined me the same way we're ruining the world with pollution
#i am a slave to my baptism!!!#we are god's unwanted children!!#dean and cas' queerbait is actually kind of legit as masculinity in media#there's the obvious depravity sacreligion motif. yeah we've all seen it#but there's also the abandonment of the father figure that creates a toxic environment of male circle jerking validation#you kno what i find most compelling about fight club is self destruction as self-actualisation purely out of hurt and spite#being told ur the warm gooey centre of the world and not getting you need. the primary function in the nuclear household being that#everyone lets the man do whatever he wants does everything for him and in return he provides them with what only he can but you see#this masculinity in media aka im the problem its me media is about portraying this Hidden struggle of man but like#the solution is obvious and its this hubris of man to not take it because he believes he is destined for something greater thats the issue#i love the narrative as man as the main character i love it about women too i love when we look at the world so intensely through one view&#it being pretty fucked up because u kno in fight club there is still morality there are good intentions there is Beauty even if theres no#love.....#tyler durden as an analogy for self denial. another religious motif!!#i think you have to be truly philosophical to get meaningful fulfillment in life& media like fight club and taxi driver are inherently so!#joker is purely about mental illness which is why it sucks#mental illness is not about being fucked up or subversive its about sickness and addiction and pain#fucked up as a title of honour#there is something deeply empathetic and beautiful about the feeling of connecting with the injustice of the world that we need to do more#through engaging with fiction materials
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kiss with a fist [iii]
"your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same"
===+++===
pairing: tara carpenter x reader
summary: you can't help but feel like maybe you and tara are more than frenemies, and it culminates in a night where you finally share some truths with each other.
warnings: a somewhat traumatic dream sequence lmao, mentions of sex, kissing (almost), curse words, blood
word count: 5.8k
A/N: hope y'all like this one because i definitely liked writing it. definitely a whole lot more kissing than fisting.... wait a minute....
it's 5 am, my ass is grass. anyways, part 4 relatively soon because woo wee theres still so much to explore in this story i legitimately cant believe my idiot self said it'd be done in 2 parts originally
===+++===
===+++===
"(Y/n)," a voice calls to you, sing-song and sweet as your eyes fade to darkness. It's a gentle woman's whisper, but it manages to hit you like a truck, pulling you down from wherever you came from, and plopping you wherever you've arrived. Or, rather, wherever you've always been. "(Y/n), look, darlin'."
A gust of wind gently strokes over the plane of your cheek, and when you open your eyes, all you can see is rye. On one end, it reaches out towards a sharp cliff, overlooking a lake, with nothing but rocks and the water below. On the other, it runs far up the plains of land in front of you, stopping in front of the white house you know all too well, with its rickety porch and broken tire swing.
You take a few steps forward, as if ready to run right inside, and then before you know it, you're running. Like the world is about to end, like the house is burning down, like you'll never see the place ever again. Foot after foot, you dash towards it, hearing Alisha's piano flit through the front window for the first time in years, and the smell of a pie right along with it. "(Y/n)!" the voice calls again. "Dinner time, kid!"—
But your foot catches on a root, just like it did in your memory, and in an instant, you've fallen down into the rye, with a painful thud, right on your face. You let out a grunt, feeling the dirt on your new, white shirt. The one your mother never let you wear when you were playing outside.
And when you right yourself again, sitting up out of the field, the house isn't any closer than it was before. It sits, perfectly far away, only all that stuff is gone now, and the house looks about as dark as it did the day of Mitchie's funeral.
"(Y/n)!" an excited voice calls from behind you. "Wanna play tag?"
"(Y/n)'s too old for that, Mitchie," another voice chides, and you whip around like Calvin would actually be there to chide him like that. Like he used to. But he isn't. All you can see is the rye. It stands in thick stalks, reaching up to your knees in lush groupings, tall and abundant, strong and growing.
Another voice. "Read me a story?" It's soft and it's a little girl's and it's far away, and you get to your feet and spin in a circle, waiting for her to appear. It seemed to reverberate through your ears, washing through the pathways of your brain before seeping into your heart. It fills it up, and before you know it, you can feel yourself hastily searching for her.
"'Randa?" you called into the open field. "Miranda? You there?" but she continues on like she didn't hear you.
"Would you read me a story? Please?"
"I will Miranda, but where are you?" you called back, raising a hand to shield your eyes from the barrel of the hot sun.
"I'm gone, (Y/n). You're supposed to be gone too," she says back, with a sweet giggle. "Why aren't you gone with us?"
"I—" you stammer, whipping your head around the field in search of your siblings. "I don't—"
"Do you really think that's fair, (Y/n)?" Calvin asks.
"Why aren't you here, (Y/n)?" Miranda asks again, this time her voice wavering like she was about to cry. "Why aren't you in the rye with us?" Your hands came up to your head, trying to squeeze your eyes shut and block out the noises, but they seemed to reverberate into your skull.
"Mitchie was your fault, you know," Peter chides. "We would've never let that—"
"—Why did you get to stay, (Y/n)?" Came Tomas' voice. "We're supposed to be cursed, and you're supposed to be cursed too." He was always the quiet one, but now his voice had a sharp edge to it. One of jealousy. One of anger.
"Why didn't you catch me?" Mitchie asked. "If you just would've caught me..."
"Come play piano with me, I'll teach you," said Alisha, in her light, airy laugh.
"Why did it get to be you?" snarled Calvin. "And why are you getting closer to Tara? You want to curse her, too?"
"Stop—" you stammered, squeezing your eyes shut tighter.
"Wanna play hopscotch?" said Mitchie.
"Do you miss us, (Y/n)?" Alisha said, in between tears.
"Yes, of course— I—" you tried, but now the voices were filling up your head, threatening to spill over and knocking you to the ground. You curled up into a ball as your brain filled up. Words piling up on top of words, piling up on top of words, about to split you open. "STOP!" you yelled.
And everything went silent. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself still in the field, but your siblings' voices had gone entirely. Now it was just you, in the field, alone with the rustling of the wind and the rye, as it grazed gently against your legs. You hadn't remembered standing up, but you were now.
In a flash, you could see a shape, running through the rye in a line that was very visible from where you were. You recognised the dark hair, and the yellow jacket he always wore. With the realisation came the looming dread, and you realised with very little time left what this exactly was a memory of.
You took off running, faster than you had to the house, faster than you had ever run, and faster than you had run then, chasing after him as he took off towards the cliff-end of your rye field. "Mitchie!" you yelled, trying to be louder than the buzzing cicadas, but it seemed the moment you yelled, the cicadas got even louder. He was too short to see over the stalks, but you could see him go, running in odd shapes as he got nearer and nearer to the cliffs edge.
"Catch me if you can, (Y/n)!" he called back with a gleeful laugh.
"(Y/n), grab your brother," called your mother. She didn't seem too worried, and she hadn't been, then. No one had been, until it was too late.
"Mitchie! Stop!" you cried out, feeling tears already beginning to fall down your cheeks. "Mitchie!" you tried again.
"Come on, you've gotta be faster than that if you're gonna be it!” Mitchie called back. "Catch me! Get me! C'mon! I'm gonna make it hard for you to win, Duck."
"MITCHIE! PLEASE!" you screamed, but all he did was giggle. “STOP! DON’T GO!” But the moment you reached the end of the rye, he was gone over the edge, just he had been when you were 13, and there was an arm shaking you awake.
===+++===
"Oh my god, you're about the least peaceful sleeper I've literally ever seen," Tara laughed, grinning at you from over her textbook. She had it pulled into her lap from her side of the table and titled against the table edge, and spread out in front of you were her papers galore, with notes scribbled all over them in preparation for her upcoming exam.
Mindy sat next to her, playing a stupid game on her phone, while Ethan was also studying in his own textbook. He had stopped trying to avoid you as much, as had Chad. You and Tara "dating" seemed to offend them less and less the longer it went on.
"Uh," you mumbled, still feeling a little bit disoriented from the dream. It was like a dose of adrenaline had been shot directly into your heart, and you struggled to adjust to the calm, peaceful library that actually was around you. "Shut up," you grumbled, but not like you were actually upset by her teasing.
Tara watched you with her eyebrows raised. "You look tired."
You sat up in your chair, running a hand through your hair. There was a small layer of sweat on your forehead. "Aren't you never supposed to say that to someone? Pretty sure that's how you get someone at the bar to throw their drink in your face."
"It is," Ethan nodded. "I made that mistake once. I was trying to be sweet."
"Good thing I'm not seducing you, then," Tara shrugged. "You've seen me puke everywhere. Pretty sure that ruined my chances right-out, and yet you love me anyways."
You grinned, leaning back to stretch out your arms. It was meant to be a gentle teasing from Tara, but you had only gotten better and better at deflecting the longer you were around her. "You'd be surprised, actually. That was super pretty. That was the prettiest you've ever been." Mindy snorted next to Tara.
Tara glared at you, unappreciatively. "And you're pretty when you do not speak."
"I'm pretty all the time, Tara," you mockingly shook your head. "And you think I'm joking. Find yourself a girl who looks nice covered in sweat, with her hair going everywhere, and puking in the toilet. That's my girlfriend."
"You're such a dick," Tara scoffed, but you could tell part of her was stifling a laugh. It was funny to her too, and you both had laughed at it together for days, afterwards.
If anything, it had gotten easier and easier, to act like the both of you were actually dating. You weren't too sure why, maybe Tara had become less annoying, or you had become less annoyed by her, but you had definitely at least become a better actor. That's what it was, after all. "Oh, also," she continued.
"Yeah?"
"Someone tried to call your phone, while you were sleeping. I think it was your dad."
You frowned. "You didn't pick up, right?"
"No," Tara said, shaking her head. Then she paused. She dropped her voice to speak just to you, guarding the conversation from Mindy and Ethan. "Do you and him not get along?"
You shrugged. "Eh. He was probably just checking in. We have a fine relationship." It wasn't true but it was an easy lie, that rolled off the tongue like nothing. He had already called twice, that day, and you knew why.
"Seriously, though," she said with a frown, looking up from her book. "You look fucking horrifying—"
"—Thanks," you said, flatly.
"—I mean, even more than normal, it's crazy—"
"—Thanks," you repeated.
"—Have you not been sleeping, or something?"
You shrugged. "I mean, I'm an architecture major, and it's midterms... so not really."
"Hm."
"What?" you asked, propping your head up on your arm. "What's the 'hm' for?"
She shrugged, trying to turn back to her textbook. "Hm, nothing."
You furrowed your eyebrows down at her. "Well, obviously the 'hm' was something, Tara." Mindy shot you a look again.
"Or it was just a hm."
“Would you two shush,” she said to you, rolling her eyes. “You bicker like an old married couple.” But you both ignored her.
"It's never just a 'hm.'"
"I say hm all the time. It's literally just a hm."
"No, it means you've got something to say but don't want to say it."
She frowned at the accusation but was obviously even more displeased that you were correct. "I was gonna suggest we go to the OBK party tonight, but maybe you should just go home and sleep. I was trying to be nice.”
You shrugged. "I won't be doing either, actually." Tonight was not the night for parties. You were somewhat grateful, that you had a legitimate excuse to busy your time, or else you would've spent even longer thinking about the dream. "I have to do homework. My final is due tomorrow."
Tara furrowed her eyebrows at you. "Wait, but I thought classes ended today."
You shook your head. "Nope. I've still got some stuff do."
"Oh," Tara frowned.
"Not all of us can have easy majors," you teased, trying to lighten the mood away from what was clearly concern.
"Hey! You chose the stupid thing," Tara shot back. "Not my fault I chose something fun." She stood up, gathering her things into a neat stack. The time was nearing for her midterm exam, and you stood up with her, grabbing her textbook to be helpful.
"Thanks," she said, then she wandered over and held out her hand. You grabbed it in yours, lacing your fingers together, just like you had practiced together.
The library was a tall building on the far side of campus from where you lived. It was a trek and a half to get there, which is partially why you had been a little annoyed, when Tara said she needed to go there. It ended up being the perfect place to fall asleep in, with the quiet signs and only a few murmurs now and again, and though it had been a less than peaceful dream, it was more than you had been getting for the past few days.
"I don't see why you can't just go without me," you shrugged, adjusting her book in your hands. "Just tell Sam I'll meet you there. Besides, Chad and Mindy are going to the same party, right?"
"Yeah, but I what if they realise you're not actually there and mention it to Sam, or something? And, I'd have to go there alone, since Chad and Mindy are going early."
"They are?"
"Yeah. Helping with set up. Mindy literally just mentioned that. Shows how much you listen to her.” She shook her head in a mocking disappointment in you.
“I was asleep, jerk.”
“I know,” she said, grinning.
You looked down to her, where she walked next to you, gently swinging your joint hands back and forth. "It's not a far walk to OBK. You could probably make it there in five minutes. It's well-lit, and—"
Tara frowned, shaking her head adamantly. "Not alone. Not without you, no way. Sam would want to see you at the door to pick me up. She'd probably hate the idea of it."
"Fair enough," you shrugged. "Find a movie at home tonight, then. Relax, or something. I'd kill to be done with this stupid project."
"What are you even making?" Tara groaned, breaking your hands to shove hers into her pockets. Actually, it was your jacket, and therefore technically your pockets too, but she had taken a liking to it, after your date. You had been less than pleased, when she asked to borrow it, considering how much the jacket meant to you, but she insisted it was assisting her to keep up the act. You figured you could part with it, at least for a little while.
"Architecture," you said with a thick layer of sarcasm. Tara rolled her eyes at you. She nudged you, and you couldn't help but laugh as her elbow pointed into your side.
"Oh, you think you're funny, huh?"
"I'm hilarious."
"You wish..." she scoffed, shaking her head.
It was a beautiful day in autumn, and the weather was soon to leave the sigh of brown leaves and rainy days and move into whispery winds and icy pavement. You didn't mind winter, but you didn't like the chills, even though it was undoubtedly what gave summer's warmth a certain sweetness. Still, nothing burned like the cold.
You walked her all the way to the door of the exam hall, stopping out front to hand her the textbook you had been carrying. You went to speak, but the moment you tried to open your mouth, your phone started ringing. You grabbed it from your pocket, sighing and declining the call, while Tara stared at you.
"Is that your dad, again?"
"No," you said. "Telemarketer."
"Right..." she said, frowning. "You're a terrible liar."
"Am I?" you challenged. You were, it was true.
"Why don't you want to talk to him?"
“I just don’t.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m asking why, (Y/n).”
"Why don't you leave it alone?" you shot, in frustration. You could see Tara's eyes narrow at your tone, and you felt a bit bad. There was the occasional reflex still, to bite each other's heads off. You weren't sure what it was about her, but something about Tara Carpenter always seemed to rile you up inside, and do the same for her with you.
"Sorry," you said, looking down at your shoes. "I just don't want to talk about it."
"That doesn't mean you have to be an asshole," Tara glared.
"Right... I'm... sorry."
Tara sighed. "I guess I'll see you next week?" She asked.
You nodded. "There'll be plenty of time after this, I just need to get this thing done."
"Okay," she nodded, failing to hide her excitement. Tara seemed to really love parties, the more and more she went to, and you were somewhat glad you could help her find something she enjoyed. It was nice to see, not that you'd ever say that to her. Doing that would absolutely result in her teasing you again, or something even more annoying.
"Good luck on your test," you said.
"Good luck on your project, babe," she said, drawing the name out.
“Now who’s hilarious,” you said with an eye roll. Tara winked at you, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Me.”
===+++===
It seemed you were having no good luck on it whatsoever, actually. Laid out in front of you was all of your materials, in a messy pile of cut-out pieces and foam boards that were there, sure, but not likely to just jump together and put itself together on its own.
The clock had already ticked away to 12:33 in the morning, and your design was barely finalised to where you could get to work and finish quickly. All of the other students had left at a much more reasonable hour, and it left you standing at your table alone, quietly working to classical music in the empty modelling lab.
At this rate, you could be here for another two or three hours, and the project was due at eight. You were sluggish, slowly working through the plans you had set out days ago and working through the kinks.
Every few minutes, when you stopped for even a second, the dream seemed to rush back to the forefront of your brain. Your mother had been the one to call, that evening while you were eating a poor excuse of a dinner, and you had declined that call just like you had declined all the rest.
You were hunched over your work, probably unhealthily so, with your face buried in your iPad, hastily throwing out sketches of the various shapes. You were settling on a design that would have to do, heading for the woodcutter, when you heard a noise.
It resembled a door shutting, and you froze right where you were. "Greg?" you called out. There was no one else in the building except for you and Greg, at his usual security post, and you waited with bated breath for him to return your call.
But there was no response, and all you could hear was the sounds of classical music gently floating in the background. Usually, it set you at ease while you worked through whatever you were doing in the lab, but now all it did was raise your heart rate to match the increasing tempo. It was completely dark, except for the overhead light above you, which illuminated the table you were working at and a few of the stainless steel cabinets that held tools and supplies.
Then, off to the side, you heard a rolling. An odd, wooden rolling, slowly drifting towards you. On the ground was a pencil, gently pushed towards you, playfully rolling as if perfectly in front of your toes. You hopped to your feet. "Hello?" you called, squinting in the dim light, in case anyone else was there. "Is anyone there?" you called out again. "Greg?"
Now you could really feel the thumping of your heart. The modelling lab had always been creepy late at night, but this was a new level of unease. It was as if someone was watching you, playing with their food, and you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "Is someone there?" you said to the rest of the room.
"Hey!" said a voice, and you jumped what felt like five feet into the air.
"Fuck!" you shouted, spinning around and seeing Tara behind you. She jumped at your reaction, raising her hands up. In one of them was a tray with two coffees on it. “You scared me!”
"Woah, woah, are you okay?" she asked, face etched with concern. She walked towards you slowly, and you put your hands on the edge of the table, trying to calm yourself.
"Don't just sneak up on me like that, dude," you glared at her.
"I literally didn't, I fucking announced myself, loud as can be," Tara said, rolling her eyes at you. Then, it melded into concern. "How long have you been here?" she asked, looking around the place and its emptiness.
"Since I left you at your test," you shrugged. "How'd it go by the way?" Tara's eyebrows furrowed, ignoring your question instead for one of her own.
"Did you at least eat dinner, or something?"
"Yeah," you nodded.
"Good."
“Yeah…,” you trailed off, turning back to your work. “How did you know where I was?"
“I asked Chad. He’s still a little snippy with me about, well, thinking we're together. Tried to tell me that if anyone would know, it would be me, and I said, yeah, that’s true, but it’s only been three months, now.”
“Well,” you said, gesturing around to the lab. “This is the modelling lab.” You were a bit of a nerd about the whole place, showing it off like it was your cool superhero lair.
“I know,” Tara mocked. “I saw it on the giant sign above the front door.”
“Ha ha. Does Sam know that you’re here?” You asked, grabbing your pen and resuming your work while you continued to talk to Tara. She plopped herself down on the edge of the table, letting her feet swing.
She looked a bit sheepish at the question. “Uh… no.”
“You know she’ll kill me like she did that one time, if you’re not home when she wakes up,” you frowned, wandering over to the supplies and grabbing out a box cutter to help trim the pieces you needed.
Tara nodded. “I know. But I snuck out, so I’ll sneak back in.”
You turned back around to reply, maybe say something stupid, but you had to stop yourself from laughing, when you saw her legs hanging off the counter and not reaching the ground.
“What?” Tara asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head and returning to the table. “…Dwarf.”
“Hey!” she said, smacking you on the arm. “I brought you coffee, don’t make me take it back.”
“That’s true,” you frowned, weighing your options. “Guess I can’t make fun of you; you brought me caffeine.”
“That’s more like it."
You worked in silence for a few minutes, feeling Tara watch your every movement. It was harder to work, under her scrutiny, but you were grateful that she was there. It wasn’t lonely in there, any more. A few months ago, you would’ve hated her guts for sitting around while you attempted to work. But not with Tara anymore. Not on that day.
“This might be an all-nighter,” you warned, sending her a small smile as you sliced a piece of foam in half and went to work to attach it to your board.
“Fine with me,” Tara shrugged. She just continued to watch you, in a calm silence. “Actually, I have beef with you,” she hummed.
You laughed, looking up while you secured the base with glue. “Why’s that, Tara?”
“You got that song, stuck in my head.”
“Which one?” You asked.
“The one you sang for me. I found it online.”
“Which one?” you teased, smiling again. Your face was tired and the smile certainly didn’t help, but you couldn’t help the newfound peace washing over you again. You had completely forgotten the weird happening from earlier.
“You know, don’t play dumb.”
“No,” you shook your head. “I really don’t know.”
“You literally do,” Tara scoffed.
“Sing a little bit. Refresh my memory.”
“Nuh uh,” she said, crossing her arms. “This is a trap.”
“It isn’t,” you insisted, sticking your pinky out to her. “Swear.”
She wrapped it in her own, rolling her eyes. She definitely knew it was, but she obliged anyway. “If you need a friend, don’t look to a strangerrr. You know in the end,” her voice broke on the low note like yours did, and you laughed while heat rose to her cheeks. “I’ll always be thereeee.”
“And when you’re in doubt,” you sang back to her, in between laughs. “And when you’re in dangerrr.” You both were tone deaf and the rendition was awful, but the mood in the lab was getting lighter and lighter the longer you were together.
“Take a look all around,” Tara sang, coming back in. “And I’ll be there.”
It was impossible not to laugh at how bad it was on both sides, and you grinned at her toothily, before turning back to your work. “Thank you for reminding me.”
“You’re welcome, idiot,” she teased, nudging you in the side again.
===+++===
You went back to working on your model, finishing the first floor in about an hour. You and Tara occasionally talked now and again, but mostly she just watched you while you worked. “Why are you doing this all tonight?” she asked.
“Uh…” you stuttered. “I didn’t have time the past couple weeks…cause of… well, you.”
She shot up to her feet, mouth dropping open. “Why the hell didn’t you say no to me?! I didn’t know you had all this to do.”
You shrugged. “I never mentioned it. Plus, you were having fun. I’m glad someone was enjoying themselves.”
“Oh…” she said, and it sounded small.
“What?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
“…Nothing."
“It’s fine, Tar. Seriously.” She blinked at you.
“Tar?” she asked, looking amused.
You looked up from your work, feeling the change in the atmosphere. “What?”
“I don’t know, you’ve just never used the nickname for me, before.”
“Yeah, I guess not. Is it weird?”
“Well… no. I kind of like it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” she agreed, nodding a little. “My mom was the one who gave me the nickname Tar. Haven’t spoken to her in a little while, though.”
“Do you still miss her?” you asked, glueing your second story onto the base successfully.
“Sometimes…” she trailed off, staring out at the pitch black night through the window that hung over your workspace. "She calls me once in a while."
"Do you answer?" you asked.
"No," she admitted. "It's usually about Woodsboro. I gave up on her a few months ago, but she still calls sometimes about the town."
"You never talk about it..." you comment, trailing off with a hand on the back of your neck. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." You leaned back against the table with a curiosity, watching her face move as she struggled to answer.
"Well... it's cause I don't want to that I don't talk about it. You know how people say that shit about manifesting happiness?" you nodded, knowing what she was talking about. "Well, I keep saying I'm fine, and I'm moving on, but it just keeps following me everywhere. It's like this chronic cough I can't shake. This constant thing. No matter how much I run, it's always there. People don't see me as anything but one of the survivors."
You swallowed, feeling her words hit you. "I know what you mean." Tara's eyes snapped down to yours, but when you didn't volunteer more information, she sighed.
You frowned, turning yourself back to your work and hunching over, so she wouldn’t see the heat rising to your cheeks. “I, uh… I listened to that song you said you liked, too.”
“You did?” she asked, lighting up at the mention of it.
“Yeah… added it to my playlist… so…”
“So…” Tara laughed, amused by your awkwardness. It was somehow less awkward when you hated each other. The fact you could tolerate each other now was unusual but not unpleasant, and you still found yourself grappling with how pretty Tara’s eyes looked in lamplight. "If I get a nickname, you absolutely have to have one too."
You scoffed. "That's not at all what that means."
"You had to have had one at some point."
"No, I haven't had one," you said.
"Liar!" Tara said with a giggle, pointing at you with her finger. "You're so bad at lying it's remarkable. Now spill. What is it?"
"I'm not lying!" you insisted, but now you were laughing and it was even less convincing.
"C'mon, promise I won't say it in public— unless it's really bad."
You stared at her for a moment, when she clasped her hands together in a begging plea.
"Please?"
"No," you shook your head.
"Please?"
"Nope."
"Pleaseeee?"
"Fine," you sighed. "My family, they used to call me Duck."
"Duck?" She asked, leaning back to look at you as if the nickname would re-contextualise your entire appearance. "Where'd that come from?"
"It's dumb. I used to wear this yellow raincoat when it was storming outside and these orange booties, so my little brother Mitchie saw me, when he was like five or six, and said I was a Duck. And so I was Duck."
She smiled at you, genuinely pleased with the explanation. "That's adorable. Where is Mitchie, tonight?"
You opened your mouth but shut it. Then, you opened it again. "Probably watching cartoons, or something. Back in Nebraska." (A/N: my ass genuinely did not know that was a U.S. state until right now)
You couldn't tell her that today was the day he had died, several years ago. That a year or two before that had happened, Calvin had gone, and a few months before that, Tomas and Alisha had passed too. That Peter had gotten sick, or that Miranda had gone missing before any of that mess had happened. That you were the only one left.
It was a bad lie, and probably one you would regret later, but it was one you ushered past, and Tara didn't seem to pick up on. From one cursed person to another, you figured it was probably best that you keep your own curse to yourself. It's part of what had made you hate Tara so much at first. She walked around knowing her days were likely numbered, so carefree and careless. And then there was you, you who was so careful in order to keep living.
But you couldn't resent her for that. It had melted away with seeing the Tara underneath. The real, beautiful Tara underneath.
"Duck is good, though. I'll bring it out when I want to embarrass you," Tara smiled, inching closer on the table.
"Yeah?" you grinned back at her, standing up to gently tap against the glue. It was set, and your model was finally finished at 4:42 in the morning. Tara leaned close, watching the glue with her own eyes, cheek almost up against yours in curiosity.
You finished the thing, looking over at her and her large, warm brown eyes, staring at the model you had made with so much curiosity and genuine interest. Tara hadn't lifted a finger to help, but you couldn't help but feel like it was partially hers.
You went to pull back but found your face turning towards hers, looking at each other for a long moment. Your eyes lingered on the slope of her nose, down to the curvature of her soft lips, turned up in the corners like Tara always did when she smiled. They looked so soft, and before you knew what was happening, you could feel Tara's hands coming up to the sides of your face, thumbs gently stroking against the skin there.
You couldn't breathe, feeling the warmth of the pads of her fingers on your face and the faint brush of her breath upon your nose. "Tara," you whispered. The pull was magnetic, and just as you were about to say to hell with it all, her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, and you both leapt apart from each other.
You wandered a few feet away, trying to seem busy while she answered it. You could feel Tara watching you while she spoke on the phone, so you did your best to hide the blush that was certainly spread wide across your cheeks.
This was the very girl you had spent the past several months hating. You suddenly felt dizzy, like the world would slip out from under your feet. Tara, the very same annoying girl who had pestered with you and bickered with you. The one who had so much more to her that what you had ever thought possible. The one who drew you in. The one in search of a hook up, for which you were only the decoy. You cleared your throat, whipping around when you heard Tara say "What?!"
"What's wrong?" you asked. "What's going on?"
She crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at you like she was about to cry. "They're questioning Sam again. They think Ghostface is back."
===+++===
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN anyways my ass is going to bed now. also i do not recommend anyone lie to someone they're interested in about who they are, ESPECIALLY an attempted murder victim
#jenna ortega#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x you#jenna ortega imagine#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n
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Something bout how Nikto feels lonely sometimes. He feels off, like something in his body is missing. So he goes to you.
A knock at your door, singular, before he comes in. It was raining, hes fucking drenched. You frown.
"Change."
A single order, he nods and strips before you. Uncaring whether you see his scars or not, he's just following orders.
"I swear if you get anything on my new carpet.", you mutter while he follows behind you, bare up until his mask. A glare and he knows he wants to take it off too.
"And I will buy you another one, calm.", trying to divert the subject yet he knows its inevitable.
He hesitates when he reaches to take off his mask.
"Take it off, what are you ashamed of everything I've seen before?"
It's been a few months since he's last taken it off. Theres no telling whats gone under his brain.
"My...skin has changed darling."
And you'll act like you don't notice the fresh scars on his body until he asks.
"Take. It off.", you know well he needs to be seen.
He lets it fall. Keeping his face downward as if he's afraid to meet your eyes. Cupping his cheeks from his jaw forces him to meet your eyes. Face to face.
There's a new scar across his chin, it looks accidental if not painful. Like a thorn was forced through the skin.
"Does it still hurt?"
"No."
"Let me kiss it?"
"Anything."
"Come upstairs."
"Okay."
He'll let you indulge him, just this once. Just while he needs you to ground him. Remind him he's alive.
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one piece men hcs: period sex
featuring the blorbos of my choice- law, bartolomeo, bellamy, corazon, and doflamingo
warnings: blood (obviously), narsty boys (looking directly at barto), smut, period eating
nsfw under the cut, minors dni 🫵👁️👁️💢
Law:
• im sorry babe, he may be a doctor and he may not be squeamish about touching peoples organs and blood, but he will not go down on you on your period 😔 (coward).
• hes kinda weird about period sex, he'll do it if you ask him super sweetly and look at him with those big pathetic puppy eyes, and he'll sigh dramatically and agree to it, but he really doesnt like doing it on the bed, he prefers the bathroom where its easiest to clean.
• usually he's kind enough to finger fuck you when you ask for it, but hes quick to pull his hand out of your pants and run to the sink to wash his hands off before shooing you to bed with a peck on the forehead. hes a busy man, hes got work to do.
• when he does have time, though, he'll make sure to take proper care of you afterwards.
• he'll offer to bring you water, a snack, pain meds, a towel, a hot pack, hell he'll even carry you to the shower if your legs are too shaky to stand on and clean you off with a gentleness so rarely seen from a man like him.
Bartolomeo:
• NASTY BOY ALERT 🚨🚨🚨
• you dont even need to ask, he'll be able to smell a hint of blood from across the room and hunt you down like a shark.
• begs you to let him eat you out while on his knees, massaging and pawing at your thighs.
• "c'mon sweetheart, i just wanna help ya~"
• VERY enthusiastic eater, if he could stick his tongue up any further into you he would.
• likes when you sit on his face so he can feel the blood and cum dribble down the sides of his face.
• as he's fingering you, he'll suddenly pull his bloody hand up to his lips and suck the liquid off each digit before shoving them back inside you to do it again with a big cocky grin.
• hes fucking ravenous.
• fucks you like an animal and likes watching you coat his cock in red multiple times.
• truthfully, there might not be much blood left to leak out of you by the time hes done with you.
• dont worry, he'll make sure theres plenty of cum to leak out instead.
• hes super super sweet afterwards.
• "im so sorry, i didnt think i'd get so carried away there," he'll scratch the back of his head sheepishly.
• acts like a mother hen while he cleans you up so youre all nice and pretty again- hes usually pretty good about cleaning up after himself when it involves you.
• gets sad and confused when you vehemently refuse to give him a big wet kiss afterwards.
Bellamy:
• another nasty boy, but its more of a theatrical thing.
• hes fine with licking other peoples blood off his face, this isnt much different to him.
• he does play it up for you a bit (and the invisible audience in his head, he has to look cool for them always).
• makes a big show of lapping it up while locking eyes with you.
• the wide, wolfish grin on his face while his tongue swipes over the stray blood dripping off his lower lip makes you whine.
• he'll finger you whenever you ask even when you arent menstruating, it makes no difference to him, he just likes seeing you come undone on his hand.
• will let you dry hump his towel-covered thigh if hes too busy with something like a log or a paint manual (hes a study-at-the-last-possible-minute kinda guy).
• he'll fuck you however you need him to.
• want him to put you in a mating press and make you squirt all over his stomach?
• no problem.
• need something slow and tender like sitting in his lap while he gently rocks into you?
• he can do that too.
• hes a man that aims to please, and will almost never turn down the opportunity to stuff you full of himself.
• surprisingly decent at aftercare.
• he'll make sure youre mostly clean and get some water for you both before he stuffs you under his arm like a teddy bear to cuddle.
Corazon:
• hes surprised when you first ask to have sex with him on your period.
• he didnt think he would be very into it at first but the seemingly deeper intimacy of it...
• and the way youre so much more weak and pliant for him when youre like this... it does something to him.
• something clicks in him that hes gotta take care of you.
• only you.
• he's reluctant to eat you out, but he'll do it while looking up at you to make sure youre enjoying it.
• hes careful with foreplay and even more careful with the main event.
• the tenderness of the moment will probably make him cry, he feels so connected to you like this.
• doesnt even let himself savor his own release (if he even cums at all, your pleasure is so much more important in this moment) before he trips over himself to get you snacks and water and pain meds and anything he could possibly think to make you more comfortable.
• make sure to cuddle him tight and give him a big thank you kiss for all his hard work.
• he might cry again, hes just so full of love right now.
Doflamingo:
• on one hand, he thinks its kinda dirty and filthy.
• but on the other hand... hes kinda into the dirty and filthy aspect.
• he doesnt eat you out, but if you really beg him, he'll make his string clone do it while he holds you.
• even if its not the real doffy, his tongue alone makes you melt into a puddle on the mattress.
• as soon as you've cum enough for his liking, he'll shove the clone out of the way and get to work on stretching you open for himself.
• hes not very comforting, but he'll make sure youre more than satisfied so long as he gets satisfaction too.
• is decent enough to let you adjust to him but his patience does have a limit, so hurry up and relax for him already, hes got other things he needs to get done today.
• hes not as gentle as you want him to be, but he'll get you to the finish line even if you cant keep his pace.
• having you so sensitive and compliant for him like this makes him all the more cocky (unfortunately).
• heavy on the teasing dirty talk.
• "so weak and helpless for me, pet... what would you even do without me here to take care of you?"
• always makes you cum hard on his cock; if you squirt, all the better for his ego.
• he has to admit, something stirs in his gut when he sees your blood dripping out alongside his cum.
• not very hands-on with the aftercare portion; it truthfully wigs him out being that vulnerable, even if its you.
• he'll send a maid in to help you clean up with anything that you might need or ask for.
• what really surprises you is the pretty bouquet that comes in along with the other aftercare items.
• ...
• it doesnt happen very often, but he'll stay to cuddle with you for a little bit before the maid comes if you manage to grab him before he leaves- you dont even have to say anything for him to know what you want.
• he supposes he can indulge you sometimes.
#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece x y/n#law x reader#trafalgar law x reader#bartolomeo x reader#bellamy x reader#bellamy the hyena x reader#corazon x reader#rosinante corazon x reader#donquixote doflamingo x reader#doflamingo x reader
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