#the readers who interact with me and the mutuals who hype me up

[inklore]

every writer who said writing for yourself in the sense of not giving a shit about anything other than your writing and posting content for fun and replying to friends and mutuals or the two readers who actually comment on your stuff and hype you up, were so right. because once you become a little bit selfish as a writer and only give attention to those give attention to you, being on here is so fun!

[andvys]

Dancing with our hands tied | S.H.

Chapter twelve ⭐︎ When the curtains call the time, will we both go home alive?

Warnings: 18+ minors don't interact! angst, jealousy, misunderstandings, mutual pining, mentions of unrequited feelings, mentions of cheating (not on reader), mentions of past stancy, jealous!Steve, slightly mean!Steve (kinda?), smut smut smut, bathroom sex, car sex, fingering, squirting. I like to picture Jacob as Drew Starkey hehe

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Steve had never handled his jealousy very well, but being jealous over you, brings out a new side in him. He would do anything to keep you, anything.

Word count: 17.4k+

Author's note: I've been waiting for this chapter since forever, jealous men are always my jam, and @hellfire--cult took these ideas to a whole new level, enjoy this filthy chapter. This one is for all my Steve girlies who haven't given up on me after my last story ♡ Roe, I should grant you a thousand wishes at this point, you keep me so hyped for this story. Also this chapter wouldn't have been this good without you, don't even try to fight me

Series Masterlist ⭐︎ Previous Chapter ⭐︎ Next Chapter

♡

Nancy’s brows are furrowed in concentration, her pink lips pursed as she looks through the many dresses to find the perfect one, her curly hair is pulled up into a bun, held together by a white scrunchie with pink polka dots, she’s wearing one of the outfits she had gotten on your last shopping trip together, this is only your second time, but it’s fun, you like hanging out with her. 

You drove to Indianapolis since Hawkins doesn’t have all too many clothing stores, especially after the ‘fire’ at the mall, you prefer it here anyways, the big city has much more to offer than the small town. 

“What do you think of this one?” Nancy asks as she shows you the yellow sundress. 

You tilt your head, pressing your lips together as you eye it, not quite liking the way too bright color. You walk around the clothing rack to get to the other side, holding the clothing items that you threw over your forearm a little tighter as you take in the different colors of the dress she’s still holding up. 

“Mmm… No, maybe the blue one, Nancy?” You ask, as you point your finger at the baby blue color, when your eyes widen as you catch sight of the purple one, “or, the purple one! That one would look cute, it matches the color of your eyeshadow!” 

She smiles at you, nodding excitedly. She puts the yellow dress on the rack, and looks through the purple ones to find her size. 

“But you should go for the yellow one if you like it more.” 

She shakes her head, looking back at you, “no, I trust your judgment,” she smiles and picks out the dress, “besides, this color is way cuter.” 

You nod, a smile tugging at your lips, “yeah, it’ll look amazing on you.” 

Her dimples show and her eyes light up a little. 

Nancy has been nothing but kind and sweet to you, and you can’t help but feel guilt and regret growing inside of you for the way you once felt about her. 

You weren’t only jealous of her because she had Steve, you also hated her for having him, and you’d spent your shared classes with her, staring at her and comparing yourself to the girl he loved so dearly – the girl he still loves. You were never rude to her or mean, you never glared at her or threw comments at her the way other girls did, after Steve had humiliated her in front of the whole town, despite your feelings for him, you did feel disappointed for what he had done, even when you didn’t even like her, at that time. 

“You should try this one on!” Nancy pulls you out of your thoughts, a grin on her face as she holds up a black dress – a daring black dress. It’s short and flowy, the straps are thin, it’s  low cut with a dainty bow on the front, the back very exposed. “You could wear this one to Vickie’s party.”

A smile tugs at your lips, you step forward and slowly reach your hands out to take it from her. 

“You will look hot in it,” Nancy wiggles her eyebrows at you, nudging her shoulder against yours as she brushes past you to look for more dresses, “I’m sure I won’t be the only one who thinks that,” she says in a sing-song voice. 

Nancy had been very persistent in trying to get you to go on dates. The last time you went out together, the Barista at your local coffee shop had put his number on your takeaway cup after giving you the order for free. She tried to convince you to give him a call, gushing over how sweet he was to you and how he looked at you, and yeah, he was sweet, he was very good looking too, and maybe you would’ve given him a call if things were still the same they were months before this. Yeah, you would’ve definitely given him a call, but only to forget about the certain someone who woke up in your bed this morning. Whose bed you will go to sleep in tonight. 

As you stare at the dress, all that you can think about is Steve, and how he will react to seeing you in this. 

Will he think that you’re pretty? 

Will you look irresistible to him?

Will he want to tear it off of you? 

After all, he does like your dresses, your sundresses especially, you see the way his eyes darken whenever you step into his house with a new one on your body, like he is ready to rip it to shreds and devour you for the next few hours or so, and he usually does, sometimes he doesn’t even take it off, and only pushes it aside, bunching it around your waist.

This sundress is by far more revealing than any of the other ones you have worn before. Excitement bubbles in your stomach as you think of his reaction to it. 

You are definitely getting it. 

After taking forever to pick out what clothes to keep in the dressing room, you both make your way out of the store with full bags, stuffed with new summer clothes. You stroll around town for a while, looking for new jewelry and shoes to go with the dresses you both bought. 

You never realized just how much you missed having a girl friend to do these things with, until you sit down at a cute café to eat some late lunch. It’s something you always used to do with your childhood best friend, that you always try not to think of, too painful are the memories of Chrissy and how you couldn’t be there for her, how you couldn’t save her. You always wondered if things would have gone differently had you both not drifted apart the way you did when you both went separate ways.

But it’s no use to overthink about it, you won’t ever find out. 

“Funny how we’re shopping for clothes, when a few weeks back we were fighting for our lives against something the whole world doesn’t even know about,” Nancy says as she looks over the menu. 

“Yeah,” you nod with wide eyes, glancing up from your own menu to look at her, you realize that you never asked how she got involved in all of it, in the first place. 

You clear your throat, “I never asked… how did you get involved?” 

She raises her brows at your question, taking a deep breath before she puts down the menu. 

“I–It was when Barb went missing, right after Will… What the police said about her wasn’t right, I knew my Barb, so I looked into it all, and I dragged Jonathan in with me because he was looking for his brother, only to find out that my brother and all of his friends were in it too…” She rolls her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. 

You laugh a little, shaking your head. 

A shiver runs down your spine as you think of how long it had all been going on in the shadows, how long you had been unaware of the Upside Down and the existence of monsters, how children were involved in something they shouldn’t have been. 

“And then, poor Steve… He showed up at Jonathan’s place when we tried to lure in the Demogorgon, he almost ran off… but he came right back to fight him with us.” 

You know all about it, Steve told you how he fought the Demogorgon with Nancy and Jonathan, how he had been dragged into it all by accident, how he helped Dustin find Dart, how he protected the kids and climbed into the tunnel after getting beaten by Billy. 

You know most of what happened, not only from Steve, but also from Robin, but you feel intrigued, you want to know more… from her.

Something flashes in her eyes, a look of guilt, a look of regret. 

You know exactly what she’s thinking about, and you know that you shouldn’t bring this up, but your curiosity gets the best of you. 

“I-I was at Tina’s Halloween party.” 

Nancy winces at that, she doesn’t seem uncomfortable by your words, just… regretful of the memories that night brings her. 

You remember the night just as well as she does. Steve had bumped into you after he rushed out of the bathroom you didn’t even know he was in with Nancy, he glared at you and nudged your shoulder harshly, he rudely told you to move out of his way and murmured some incoherent curse word at you. 

You remember how deflected you felt, all night you had avoided him only to bump into him in his worst moment. 

Everyone knows what happened that night, not in full detail, but it doesn’t take a genius to find out what happened between King Steve and his girlfriend after he had stormed out of the house without her, and she left with Jonathan instead. 

Word traveled around, rumors circulated, but you didn’t listen to them, it wasn’t any of your business, and it wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened anyways. Just as Steve and Nancy’s relationship ended, she showed up to school, holding hands with Jonathan. Clearly, something happened between them long before her relationship with Steve had ended. 

Steve hated you, but your heart broke for him still. 

It was so very obvious how much he loved her, and you can imagine how much it hurt when she cheated on him, and left him and his heart in shambles. 

“I-I will never forgive myself for it. No matter if– he did forgive me. I was horrible to him, no amount of apologies can take away the guilt I will forever feel.”

“W-What happened?” You ask nervously, not wanting to overstep but still feeling the curiosity tugging harshly in your chest. 

She sighs, looking around the bustling street before her eyes move back to yours. 

“I-I always blamed him for what happened to Barb, I should’ve gone home with her that night, but I didn’t, even though I promised I would. I went with him, a-and the Demogorgon got her,” she explains, shaking her head a little as she closes her eyes, “it wasn’t Steve’s fault, not at all, but I-I blamed him and every time I looked at him, I just thought about her and what happened to her and how things would’ve gone differently if I didn’t leave her that night, if I didn’t went with Steve.” 

You dig your nails into your palms, swallowing harshly as you watch her. 

“He was good to me, he was there for me, b-but I couldn’t stand him sometimes, and how he tried to act like everything was normal, when it wasn’t.” 

The feeling of irritation sparks inside of your chest, crawling into your bloodstream. 

“And then, the Halloween party… I just, I was still grieving and I was angry, I let it all out on him, I should’ve handled things differently, I shouldn’t have been so harsh but… I-I called him bullshit,” she confesses to you, scrunching up her nose as she cringes at her own self, “and then I confessed my true feelings for him and our relationship.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat, the anger that you are holding back after those leave her mouth. Bullshit. 

How could she do that to him? 

How could she hurt him the way that she did? 

How could she call him that?  

You can tell that it takes a weight off her shoulders, that it’s something she hasn’t talked about since it happened, not to Robin, not even to Jonathan, because after these words leave her mouth, she takes a deep breath, and her body relaxes as she leans back in her seat. 

Her face is edged with shame, but also with relief to finally be able to let it out. 

And you try, you really try to hide your own feelings, the anger, the hurt that you feel for the man that you hold so dearly in your heart. 

You feel thankful for the waiter who interrupts your thoughts, he places the drinks that you ordered on the table, and reaches for his notepad, taking Nancy’s food order first. 

You take a sip of your iced tea and you watch her for a moment, reminding yourself of how long ago it was, how much she changed, how much he changed, how it’s none of your business, how you shouldn’t feel angry at her, even when she’s the one who hurt him, when she’s the one he still wants, despite what she did. 

He would take her back in a heartbeat if she came back to him, and the thought breaks your heart. 

But you can’t help but keep dancing around the topic, so after the waiter takes your order and leaves, you ask her something you’ve been wondering about for weeks now. 

“Do you… regret it? Do you sometimes wish that things between you went differently?” 

She leans her elbows on the table, placing the straw between her lips, she takes a sip of her drink before she leans back again. 

“The only thing I regret is how I led him on, I wish I could go back, and lay it all out on him in a different way… Explain to him why… I didn’t feel that for him, give him a reason instead of making him think that he’s damaged.” 

She cared about him, you can see it in her eyes, you can hear it in her voice. She cared, even if only poorly. 

“I see,” you nod, trying not to sigh. “And… well– when the whole thing with Vecna…” You pause as you feel the weight on your chest crushing you with nervousness. 

She tilts her head at you, “what?” 

Heat rushes to your cheeks, you lick your lips as you look around, watching the people in the busy street across the café for a moment, before you return your gaze to her. 

“Well… It was noticeable you know… and then… you two weren’t exactly quiet in the RV,” you mumble, trying not to sound bitter as the day catches up to you, what Steve had said to Nancy, how he looked at her, how she looked at him – and the rude things he said about you before the white picket fence conversation came up. 

Her eyes widen a little, cheeks blushing a deep red as she looks down sheepishly. 

You don’t know what you had expected, but you certainly didn’t wait for her to blush, it makes your stomach clench uncomfortably. 

“I–I was just hurt because of Jonathan. Feelings are cunning, evil… I was angry, and I think my heart and mind looked for where I could find comfort.” 

Oh, how ugly the feeling in your chest now is, how bitter the taste on your tongue is, how the sweetness of your drink does nothing to make it better, because you know, you know that you wouldn’t be sitting here now if Jonathan didn’t come back, you wouldn’t wake up in Steve’s bed or fall asleep in his arms. 

Because she would be the one.

You knit your brows together as you stare at her, “but Steve–”

“I know but… I think it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing.”

You physically have to restrain yourself from clenching your jaw or rolling your eyes. So, you look away for a moment, staring into a blank space as you try to calm your breathing. 

Heat of the moment. 

You want to scoff and laugh at her words, because telling your ex-girlfriend that you want to have six kids with her is totally, a heat of the moment kind of thing, right. 

You’re very well aware of the jealousy that is boiling inside of you, worsening every passing second, and yet, you can’t help but want to fuel the fire even more, and find out what she would’ve done if she needed more comfort. 

So when you look at her back, you ask, “so… if you were still hurt and Jonathan didn’t come back…?”

You see the way she freezes, the way she hesitates, the way she takes way too long to answer your question. 

“I-I don’t think that I would’ve been with Steve again… Even if my urges and desires told me to… That’s the only thing they were… desires or… attractions. I wouldn’t want to hurt him again and give him the idea that there’d be a chance for a future,” she sighs, shaking her head, “I’m not the one. I’m not the woman for the future of his.” 

You don’t know whether to feel sad for Steve or yourself. 

She is that woman. 

She is the one, the only one that he wants in that way, so why is she denying it? 

The question lingers in your mind and you can’t help but wonder, what would happen if she stopped denying it? If her feelings were more than just desire after all? If she came back to him? 

There is no doubt about what he would do. 

You’d be nothing but a faint memory the moment she’d come back. 

You’d no longer occupy her space in his bed. 

You’d no longer be the one he’d kiss, touch, feel. 

And you, you would step aside without a moment of hesitation, because despite your feelings for him, you would want him to be happy, and you know that he would never get that with you. 

“Besides, I don’t want to be. Steve was my first boyfriend, puppy love,” she chuckles. “It’s different with Jonathan, I want him in my future, a-and I’d honestly take any future with him,” she says, as a soft smile creeps on her face, “I didn’t love Steve but, I love him,” she says truthfully and honestly. 

She isn’t someone you have to worry about. 

She isn’t someone who will take your temporary space, at least not now, not anymore. 

But you still can’t find peace within you after this conversation, you can’t push aside the thoughts of him, of how much he still wants her, of how much he still loves her, of how much he wishes to be with her again, and it upsets you, even when it shouldn’t. 

So, when you come home, you throw your bags on the stairs and make your way into the kitchen, you pick up the telephone and you call him, coming up with some weak excuse as to why you can’t see him tonight. 

You want to see him, but you wouldn’t be able to control your feelings, you wouldn’t be able to hide the pain in your eyes. If Nancy wasn’t with Jonathan, she would be with Steve, and he would choose her, then and now. 

You heard the sigh on the other end, the disappointed ‘okay… bye, Blondie.’ before you hung up the phone abruptly. 

You want him, you want to be with him, you want to feel his touch, his hands on your skin, his lips on yours, and yet, you don’t at the same time, because right now, it would just hurt too much. 

You need to calm your anxious thoughts, or you will give yourself away completely. 

-

Two days. 

It’s been two whole days since Steve had last seen you, and both his mind and his body were going crazy over the lack of you. 

When you had called him on Wednesday evening, he was already waiting for you, giddy and excited for another night with you, but when you announced that you wouldn’t come, he felt deflected, a little crushed even, but he understood, you sounded tired and like you needed your rest, so he didn’t even try to convince you to let him come see you. 

But the next day, there was no trace of you either, you didn’t call, you didn’t visit him at work, you didn’t come over, and when he tried to call you, you didn’t pick up the phone, you also weren’t home, your car wasn’t in your driveway, you were gone. And it made him feel… weird. 

Because where were you? 

You had never done anything like this before, always eager and ready for him, but never this. 

He craved you so terribly, he wanted to see you, he wanted to hear your voice, to feel your touch, to feel your body beneath his. 

He longed for you, and two days away from you, only showed him just how much of a hold you have over him. 

The past two days went by so slowly, it was almost agonizing – just like the terrible music that blasts through Vickie’s house as more and more strangers make their way into her home, filling the empty spaces. 

With his back against the wall, Steve stands there with his arms crossed over his chest, a bored expression on his face as he nods along to Eddie’s rambling about some band he had never even heard the name of, occasionally putting on his meanest face to glare at the people who give Eddie dirty looks. He can’t stand them. 

He takes a sip of his coke, looking around the crowded room in search of you. 

He knows you’re here, but he has yet to see you. 

You came with Eddie, but while the latter instantly came to find him, you apparently left to find Robin, who he hasn’t seen in a while either. 

He has been here for at least two hours now, and he is beginning to grow restless, wanting to just push himself away from the wall and go find you. 

“--And I can’t wait to see them live, man! No more headbanging in my room,” Eddie laughs as he sips on his beer. “Judas Priest is sick! You gotta come with us, I’m sure Gareth won’t mind.” 

“Mmm.” Steve nods, glancing at Eddie with a plastered smile on his face, he feels a bit bad for not listening to him, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind, he continues talking.

Steve cranes his neck, looking into the kitchen, then into the hallway, and out into the backyard, trying to catch a glimpse of you, but all he sees are people he doesn’t care about. 

The music is starting to give him a headache, and the smell of liquor and weed is beginning to make him feel hazy. He's not drinking, he’s got other plans that hopefully won’t be canceled tonight but the more time passes, and there is still no trace of you, his hope is beginning to dwindle, because a part of him starts to believe that you are doing this on purpose, not showing yourself to him. 

Are you avoiding him? 

The thought makes his chest ache weirdly, a feeling that he can’t even describe floods through his veins. 

He doesn’t want you to avoid him, he doesn’t want you to stay away from him, he doesn’t want you to get bored of him. 

“I got Robin to listen to my mixtape, you’re next, I’m telling you, you’re gonna be a metalhead in no time,” Eddie chuckles, bumping his shoulder into his, he pulls Steve out of his thoughts. 

“Huh?” Steve furrows his brows at him before a forced laugh falls from his lips, “y-yeah, sure.”

Eddie snorts, knowing that he wasn’t listening to a single word he just said and still agreed. A smirk tugs at his lips, he tilts his head, “so, you’re gonna listen to it?” 

Steve nods, pursing his lips as he scratches the back of his neck. 

“Promise?” Eddie asks, almost cackling.

“Yeah, promise,” Steve shrugs. 

Eddie shakes his head, bringing his beer up to his lips, “you’re gonna regret that,” he murmurs against the glass before he takes a sip. 

Steve hates the music Eddie listens to, he’s hated every song he has shown him so far, but Eddie will take that promise in satisfaction, knowing that Steve never breaks any of his promises. 

Eddie takes a look around the room, recognizing a few people from school, some of whom have already graduated the year before. The guy by the snack table is the one who catches his attention the most, he squints his eyes as he takes a better look at him – tall, dark blond, lean, the gold ring that he always wore on his middle finger, still in place. Jacob Leeney. 

He hasn’t seen him since last year when Jacob was back from college for the weekend, the same weekend you made this guy lucky. 

He wants to make a joke to Steve about it, knowing that he hates the football captain’s guts, when from the corner of his eye, he notices how Steve stands up straighter. 

Every hope that began to dwindle, comes back in a rush when Steve sees you for the first time in two days. 

You walk into the room with a drink in your hand, a smile on your lips that grows brighter when your eyes lock with his. 

His own eyes light up at the sight of you, something in his chest swells with a feeling he grew unfamiliar to. His lips curl into a smile as he stares at your face for the longest time, before he lets his eyes roam your body, the exposed skin that isn’t covered by the pretty dress that you’re wearing, begging for his attention, begging to be marked up by his lips and to be touched by his hands.  

If only he could look into his own reflection to see just how awestruck he looks at the sight of you, how you lit up the whole room for him with your presence. If only he was focused on the beating of his heart or the fluttering in his stomach, the butterflies he thought were long gone, rising back up and filling him with life. 

Your skin is glowing beneath the dim fairy lights, your glossy lips that he craves to feel on his own, looking even more kissable than usual, and he already begins to count down the second until he can actually feel them. 

You start making your way over to him, the platform heels that you’re wearing making you look taller than you are. 

Steve licks his lips, having to fight the urge to just meet you halfway, throw you over his shoulder and get the hell out of here so he can have you all to himself. 

Your eyes are locked with his, a blush creeps up on your face and you grow flustered beneath his stare, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips as you raise your hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear – good, nothing changed in those two days. 

His excitement grows, the closer you get, he has nearly all forgotten about his friend next to him, about the other people in this room, but the reminder that it’s not just you and him in this room, catches up quickly, when the smile falls from your lips and your eyebrows furrow as a hand on your upper arm stops you, not enough to startle you, but enough to make you turn around in and look away from him. 

Steve’s own smile falls, and he straightens his back even more. 

He no longer sees your face, your expression or your reaction, but he sees him, Jacob Leeney. And the sight of him alone, is enough to turn the fire that you lit up inside of him, into raging flames. – And not because of the rivalry that was once between them, but because of what he had found out about you and the football captain not too long ago. 

Steve can’t hear what he’s saying to you, but the smile, the smirk on Jacob’s face makes his blood boil. The look in his eyes as he stares you down, making him clench his jaw. 

He pulls you into a hug, hand coming to rest between your shoulder blades, but not quite staying there, he moves it lower and lower until it rests dangerously low on your back as he hugs you for longer than necessary. 

“Damn,” Eddie mumbles from beside him, “Leeney’s about to get another best fuck of his life,” he chuckles, repeating the words that the jock had said to him months back. 

And it does little to calm Steve down. 

“I mean, unless they’ve seen each other this week before, I heard that he was back in town… a few days ago,” Eddie shrugs, watching him closely. 

He watches the way you take a step back, putting distance between you and Jacob after you pull away from the hug, but his hand lingers, not on your back anymore, but now on your elbow as he taps his fingers against your skin, talking to you with a look on his face that gives away his intentions. The sparkling in his eyes matches the one of his own, he wants you, he wants you badly. The interaction between you seems so… trusted, intimate. 

And then, Steve registers what Eddie had said to him, just now. 

A few days ago. 

Steve freezes. 

The cold shudder that runs through him, weakening the flames that just ignited. 

Is that why you canceled your plans with him?  

Is he the reason why you haven’t called? 

Did you stand him up for Jacob?

Were you with him? 

Did you let him kiss you? 

Did you let him touch you?

Did you forget all about him? 

He can’t decipher his own emotions at this very moment, too many are running through him, anger, frustrations… and a very ugly emotion that he won’t admit to feeling. 

He takes a deep breath, unable to hide the frown on his face as he watches you. 

Steve knew it, he knew that his own rule would come to haunt him, and he suddenly feels a deep regret for suggesting the inclusivity that allows you to see other people, he doesn’t want you to do that, he doesn’t want you to see other people, he wants to be the only one for you. 

He is watching you, so closely, so intensely, glaring at the touchy man in front of you, like he’s ready to light him up with his own eyes for putting his hands on places only he should be allowed to touch. 

Eddie slaps his shoulder, “I’ll be right back,” he announces before he scurries away from Steve who refuses to tear his eyes off of you.

He continues to watch you like a hawk, eyes not straying away from you and the man before you, and despite the intensity in his gaze, he is blind to your reactions, to the subtle, tiny steps you take to put distance between you and Jacob. All that Steve can see is the burning red that flashes in his eyes every time he touches you.

He sees the way your shoulders shake from laughter, the way you brush your hair back as you tilt your head up to look at him. 

And the more time passes as you stand across the room, spending time with someone who isn’t him, he begins to grow impatient, restless. 

You should be here, with him, by his side. 

And he wants to show you that the only one you need is him. So, without a second of hesitation, he slams his drink on the table, and he lets his feet carry him over to you, no longer wanting to stand there and watch how someone else might steal you away from him, he won’t let it happen. 

He let it happen with Nancy, he probably would’ve let it happen again if he was still with her, if this was her with Jonathan in front of him, he would’ve looked the other way, despite the aching in his chest.  

But you aren’t Nancy, and his feelings, his reactions, his action that he’s about to take, didn’t fully sink in yet. 

Once he is in earshot, Steve hears Jacob’s annoying, flirty voice. 

“You’re the prettiest girl at this party.” 

Your giggle follows, and it makes Steve’s skin crawl – if he wasn’t so driven by jealousy, and blinded by anger, he would’ve heard how fake it sounded.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” 

Jacob chuckles, opening his mouth to speak, to throw some lame pick up line at you, probably. 

But Steve doesn’t let him. Stepping up beside you, he places his hand on your back first, before he slides it down to your waist, gripping it tightly. The feeling of your body beneath his palm, your warmth and the way you melt into his touch after you turn and tilt your head to look at him, makes his stomach flutter pleasantly. 

You step closer to him, relaxing further when he squeezes you with his large hand, though your eyes are wide and your lips are parted as you stare at him. 

Right now, he can’t even find it in himself to care that your friends could see the intimacy between you and him, all he cares about is you and dragging you away so he can finally have you all to himself. 

“Can I talk to you?” He asks, calmly. 

Your wide eyes spark with curiosity as they look into his own, your glossy lips parting further for him as you come up with words, only to be cut off by Jacob.

“Oh hello, Harrington, long time no see!” The jock grins.

Steve clenches his jaw, but still turns to face him, biting back the distaste on his tongue, he nods at him, “yeah, yeah man, I’ll take her for a minute, okay?” He mumbles with squinted eyes and a fake smile on his lips as he points to you. 

Before the blond can even respond, Steve’s hand leaves your waist, and moves over to your wrist. He grabs your much smaller hand and holds it tightly, giving it a squeeze as he pulls you away and begins to walk, basically dragging you out of the room, and you don’t protest, you follow him, without a single word, slamming your drink on the counter on the way out.

You both walk into the crowded hallway, and he pulls you closer to him when you pass by a group of guys who are talking rather loudly. He pushes you towards the stairs, bringing your hand up a little as he gets behind you.

He doesn’t even bother to look out for your friends, they aren’t on his mind right now and he finds himself not caring about who could see you together. He also doesn’t care about one of his many rules that he is about to break when he pushes you into an empty bathroom. 

You switch the light on and let go of his hand when you walk in further. 

Steve turns around to close and lock the door, his fingers linger on the handle as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“What’s wrong, did something happen?” You ask. 

He opens his eyes again and turns around to face you, he raises his hand up, running it through his styled hair, he licks his lips as he lets his eyes roam your body for a second, taking a better look at the dress he hasn’t seen on you before, it must be new. 

The light that shines on you from the ceiling is golden, making your soft skin glow, making it look even more delicate, more desirable. Your chest rises up and down heavily, a worried expression etched in your beautiful features as you stare at him with furrowed brows. Your pouty lips parted. 

Can he blame Jacob for trying to go after you? Not really. 

“Nope, nothing happened,” he mumbles as he makes his way over to you. 

You shake your head a little, frowning, “then why–”

He practically lurches forward, cupping your cheeks, he leans down and presses his lips against yours, the way he wanted to, all night. 

You squeal in surprise, a noise that only fuels his lust even more, prompting him to deepen the kiss roughly. He can taste the sweetness of rum and pepsi on your lips, the strawberry from your gloss, he can taste you, he can smell the intoxicating scent of your perfume, he can feel your arms around his shoulders now as you start moving your lips against his, picking up the pace to match the speed of his own. 

He moans when your fingers get lost in his hair and your nails graze his scalp as you try to pull him closer against you. 

He licks your bottom lip, parting it with his tongue so he can slip it into your mouth. You let him. His palm slides down to your jaw, he holds it there for a moment as his other hand moves down to your hip, gripping it tightly as he presses you against the counter behind you, fingers now playing with the flimsy material of your sundress. 

A needy moan blesses his ears, the delicious sound rushing to his cock, making it stir in his pants that are now getting way too tight around his groin. 

You place your hand on the back of his neck as you place your other on his chest, pressing yourself further against him as you kiss him with whimpers and a neediness that he thought only he was feeling. 

God, he missed you.

But, did you miss him? 

Did your lips touch someone else’s when you weren’t with him, where you were supposed to be? 

The flames that are still raging inside of him, sparking a new kind of anger in him at the thought of it, it prompts him to do something that he has never done before – he bites your bottom lip, making you wince and moan at the pain. 

He pinches your chin between his fingers, pulling away from the kiss to look at you. 

With furrowed brows, you open your eyes to look at him, leaning back in to steal a kiss, but he keeps you in place, ignoring the whine that falls from your lips.

“Jacob Leeney, huh?” He mutters, instantly clenching his jaw after saying that name out loud. “Why did you talk to him, hm?” 

Steve moves his hand under your dress. 

“W-What?” You ask, shakily. “He was just talking to me about college.”

Right. That is the reason why he looked at you like he was ready to tear your dress off and devour you, right then and there. 

“Right,” he mumbles, gritting his teeth in anger. 

You stare at him with a frown on your face, tilting your head a little as you reach your hand up to wrap it around his wrist. And then, realization flashes in your eyes and your lips twitch a little. 

“You plan on fucking him tonight, Blondie?” He sneers, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. 

You raise your eyebrows, pressing your lips together, he watches the way your throat bobs as you swallow. 

The silence between you is nearly deafening, he can feel your breath on his thumb as he still holds your chin, he waits for you to answer his question.

Your eyes crinkle, and your lips curl into a smile before you suddenly burst into giggles, making his irritation feel worse than before. 

Steve’s muscles tense up and he bites the insides of his cheeks, pressing his knee in between your thighs, he holds you tighter. 

“Why are you laughing, huh?” He asks, as he leans closer to you, cupping your jaw again, he tilts your head to the side, making your giggles die down the moment he latches his lips onto your neck. 

You suck in a sharp breath. 

“Mmm, nothing,” you murmur, “w-what if I am? What if I do plan on fucking him?” 

Steve has to hold back to growl, threatening to escape as he presses another rough kiss to your neck, his fingers now digging deeper into your hip. 

“Well, I have a little priority here, don’t you think?” He murmurs against your skin. 

“Wasn’t it you… the one who said no exclusivity, Steve?” 

His breath stopped for a moment, regret gnawing up in his throat like vile. He wants to back out of that rule… but you are not his, so he waters it down. 

“New rule then, Blondie,” he mumbles, not stopping with the kisses on your neck, “we leave with each other when we are at the same place. So, meaning today it’s me.” 

You furrow your eyebrows at his words, questions already lingering in your mind. 

You would always choose Steve. 

There is no one else you would go home with. 

And you can’t help but want him to know, but you don’t get to tell him because just as you open your mouth, Steve starts kissing your neck differently, intensely, roughly. He sucks on your neck, marking you up and blessing your delicate skin with hickeys as though he wants to show everyone that you’re his, that you belong to him. 

And you do, you do belong to him, but he doesn’t know it. 

He doesn’t know that your heart is his, that your mind and body is in his possession. 

He doesn’t know how crazy you go over his touches, how your heart flutters at every slightest touch of his, how weak and vulnerable you feel when he holds you, how no one else could ever come close to make you feel the things that he can make you feel. 

“How many drinks did you have, Blondie?” 

“J-Just half of the drink I left downstairs,” you say, tilting your head to the side to give him more access to your neck. 

“Just that?” He asks, “you’re not drunk, are you?” 

You shake your head quickly, “no, not at all.” 

“Good,” he nods. 

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel his fingers on your ruined panties, he pushes them aside and slips his long fingers through your folds, dipping them inside of you before he pulls them back out to tease your clit, digits now coated with your slick. 

You jerk a little, wrapping your arm around him so you can hold onto him, a needy moan escapes your mouth. 

You could have had this on Wednesday night, you could have had this last night, but you were too busy worrying about something that filled your heart with pain. 

“S-Steve!” 

He gets lost in his feelings, lost in the rage, in the possessiveness and the urge to show you that he should be the only one for you. His teeth graze your neck, his lips suck harshly on your skin as he spreads you open with two fingers. 

You mewl when he starts pumping them inside of you, in and out, deeply and slowly at first. 

“Who are you so wet for, huh?” He asks, pulling away just enough so he can look at the marks he left, appreciating the sight in front of him for a second, before he pulls your face towards him, gripping your chin tighter than before, his thumb now lingering on your bottom lip. “Tell me, Blondie” 

You open your eyes, revealing to him just how dark they are, how much lust lingers in them. 

“You, Stevie! Just you!” You whine needily before you wrap your lips around his thumb, catching him off guard, once again. You swirl your tongue around it, looking into his hazel eyes as you start sucking, you watch the way they widen and darken, the tension in his jaw now leaving as he is only focused on this, on you. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs under his breath, picking up the pace of his fingers, he drags them out of you and slams them back in, nearly moaning himself when he listens to the squelching noises as he finger-fucks you, “just me?” 

Your jaw drops and you throw your head back, letting go of him to hold onto the edges of the counter, he has got you pressed against at. You nod quickly, “yes, yes! Just you, only you!” You ramble as you squeeze your eyes shut again, enjoying the feeling of his fingers inside of you. 

“Good.” 

Steve can feel how you clench around him, how you’re already so close even though he didn’t even get started yet. He leans in to peck your lips as he curls his fingers inside of you, and he presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing it slowly. 

He feels himself growing harder – the feeling of your tight, wet walls around his fingers being too much, along with the needy moans that keep falling from your pretty lips. 

He stares at you, watching the way your nipples poke through the thin material of your dress – of course, you’re not wearing a bra. You bite your lip, your brows are knit together, and your head falls to the side as you let yourself get lost in the feeling he provides you with. 

Not Jacob, definitely not Jacob. 

The jock could never make you feel this, he is so sure of it, and yet, Steve can’t shake the thoughts of you and him together. 

Would you be this wet for him too? 

Would you moan so prettily for him? 

Would you be so needy for him? 

The anger just won’t leave him, it refuses to, it has him in its tightest grip, urging him to prove something to you. 

His chest heaves up and down heavily, his darkened eyes are nearly black now. 

You’re close, he can feel that you are with the way you’re clenching around him, but he doesn’t let you cum like this tonight, so he pulls his fingers out of you. 

Your eyes shoot open and your lips part as you’re about to protest, pouting at him. He grabs your hips with both of his hands, turning you around abruptly, he bends you over the counter and presses himself against you, and he chuckles darkly when you gasp at his action. 

Steve reaches for the hem of your dress and he flips it over, exposing your ass to him and the lacy thong you’re wearing, he groans at the sight of it, unable to hold back, he rears his hand back before he smacks his large palm against your skin, slapping your ass harshly. 

Steve has never, never treated a girl roughly before, not any of his hookups, not Nancy, but then again, he never had this much fun with any of them. Letting go of his inhibitions, taking what he wants for once, and the fact that you let him, and even love it, makes him go feral.

But as the realization sinks in of what he had done, his eyes widen as fear rushes through him, worried that he had gone too far, but you ease his mind with the filthy whimper that sounds through the room as you press your ass against his dick, rubbing it against him as though you’re asking for more. 

He can’t help but chuckle, the shock and the fear vanishing just as quick as it came. 

“Oh, you like that, Blondie?” He asks as he presses his palm against your ass, this time not slapping it, but grabbing it roughly, making you whine again. “Of course you fucking do,” he murmurs as he lets go, only to smack you once more, making you gasp his name in pleasure. 

“Please!” 

He looks at your reflection in the mirror, needy eyes meeting his. 

“Please what?” He asks as he unbuckles his belt and pops the button of his jeans, he reaches for the condom in his back pocket – mentally thanking his needy self for placing one there before he left his house, in hopes that he would get this. 

“Please, fuck me!” 

He pushes his jeans and boxers down, just enough to free himself, not wasting any more time, he rips apart the foil and throws the empty packet on the ground, making quick work of rolling the condom over his length. With his chin against his chest, he looks down, stroking his dick for good measure, his spit curl falls in front of his eyes, but he doesn’t bother to push it out of the way, he looks up through hooded eyes, glancing at you through the mirror, he almost wants to chuckle at the desperation in your eyes, but it gets stuck in his throat when you push your ass back against his dick, whining. 

His stomach flutters seeing you so desperate for no one but him. 

He grabs your hip with his left hand, pressing himself against you, he teases both you and himself by slipping his shaft through your wet folds, he watches the way you look at him, begging for more with your eyes as you push yourself up a little. 

He presses his palm against your lower back, pushing you down so your chest is flush against the marble counter, he lines up with your entrance and pushes inside of you slowly. Waves of pleasure rush through him in an instant. You scrunch your face up, lips parting as a sigh escapes you.  

You throw your hand back, reaching for his forearm, you grab it tightly as you shut your eyes and drop your head a little, your hair falls in front of your face, hiding all your pretty features.

Steve looks down, watching his cock disappear into your weeping pussy. 

“You take me so well, holy shit,” he murmurs under his breath. And it was the truth, you take him like no other, making you the most addictive.

He sinks into you, deeper and deeper, stretching you out and splitting you open, the tension inside of him grows and his heartbeat increases. He pulls out again, watching the way the condom around him glistens with your slick – how he wishes that he could feel you without it. He slams back in, making you gasp and arch your back in pleasure. He starts thrusting, in and out, deeply and slowly at first, but with an intensity that makes you open your eyes again.

“Steve!” 

“That’s right,” He grunts, reaching his hand forward, he grabs your hair and tilts your head back up, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror as he moves his hips faster, quickening his pace until he’s pounding you. “Look at who’s fucking you right now, Blondie.” 

The loudest moan falls from your lips, and you instantly bring your hand up to cup your mouth, panic flashing in your lust filled eyes. Despite the loud music, you are scared that someone might hear you, and it only prompts him to fuck you harder and rougher against the counter, holding you tighter as heat spreads in his chest – who do you want to hide from? Your friends, or Jacob? 

But while Steve worries about something that isn’t even on your mind, you are so far gone, so lost in the pleasure that you feel because of him, your insides so sensitive already, yet aching for more. You focus on the way he thrusts in and out of you, how heavenly it feels to feel him inside of you, to feel him in your stomach. 

You are so drunk on him that there is not a single thought in your brain, only him. 

No one has ever done this to you, no one has ever made you feel so weak, so submissive, so lost in the heat of the moment, no one has ever taken such control – you wouldn’t have let them, only he can have this. 

Your eyes turn glassy, rolling back as you throw your head back, your weak hand falling from your face again. 

“Yeah, as if that asshole could fuck you like this,” he grunts, letting go of your hair and moving his hand forward to cup your cheeks, “say it. Say no one can fuck you like this, Blondie, because I know it’s true.”

Your walls clench and flutter around him, a cry leaving you as he pulls your ass up a little, slamming in and out of you, hitting the spot that makes tears fall from your eyes, making him even more aroused than before. 

“Only you, Steve!” You sob as a tear spills down your cheek and onto his thumb. 

Your knees buckle and your body begins to tremble, sobs and moans turn into needy whines and whimpers, your flustered face decorated with pretty tears making his muscles tense in his stomach. 

You try to keep quiet as you press your lips together, trying to breathe calmly through your nose despite the pounding in your chest, when he suddenly changes the pace again, pounding you so hard that he knocks you forward, hitting so deep inside of your squelching pussy, that you can’t help but cry out loudly as stars blur your vision. 

“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!” 

Steve nearly busts, eyes widening at the way you chant his name so desperately. His hips stutter a little and he has to suck in a sharp breath, eyes shutting for a moment. He twitches inside of you, and it doesn’t help that you keep clenching. 

The sound of the music, of laughter and voices outside are so far away, the only thing you both hear are your moans and how wet you are as his skin slaps against yours. 

He slows down a little, enough to make you whine again, to make you move back against him, trying to fuck yourself on his cock. 

“F-Fuck,” Steve moans, he opens his eyes again, reaching forward, he grabs your shoulder and pulls you up and against his chest before he lets his hand travel down your stomach, he pushes your dress out of the way, and his fingers find their way to your clit. 

A high pitched moan echoes through the room, your body shakes harder and you grab his forearm tightly as he rubs circles on your sensitive nub. 

He presses his lips to your neck, moaning himself as the tension in his stomach grows bigger and bigger. He kisses your delicate skin, his mouth brushing the dark marks he left. 

You cling to him, nails grazing his skin, you press the side of your face against his, staining his cheek with your tears.

“I know, baby, I know.” 

If only he knew just how such a simple yet special word affects your heart, making it beat faster and harder in your chest, setting all your insides on fire and igniting something in you that throws you into a pit of love and glee. 

Steve had never called you this before, and you could only dream of such sweet nicknames, until now. 

Your eyes roll back again, eyelashes fluttering as you squeeze them shut completely, mouth ajar as filthy noises fall. You’d fall over if it wasn’t for his strong arms holding you up, his fingers moving so fastly on your clit, his dick so deep inside of you, his lips biting gently on your skin, all it takes is another rough thrust and your body begins to shake for a different reason, you fall apart for him, once again. 

You don’t even feel yourself drooling, you no longer feel the tears spilling down your cheeks. 

“Good girl,” he whispers into your ear, kissing the spot behind it before he grabs your chin and tilts your head to the side so he can press his lips against yours, pulling you into a soft kiss as he keeps fucking you, chasing his own high. 

Steve furrows his brows, his muffled moan vibrating against your lips as he gives one last powerful thrust and spills into the condom, secretly wishing that he could spill inside of you and paint your walls white instead. 

His body relaxes after the high it had been on for the past minutes, muscles loosening, but lips still moving gently against yours. 

Both yours and his moans die down after a moment, but you’re still panting, trying to catch your breaths as you pull away from one another. You open your eyes, and look into his, the blackness slowly fading away and you see the pretty hazel color again. His tongue licks his bottom lip, eyes flickering between your own and the marks he left on your neck. 

A lazy smile appears on your face and you feign confidence as you tilt your head to the side and reach your hand up to move the spit curl away from his forehead, the tips of your fingers brushing his skin, he holds you tighter in response. 

“I didn’t think you could get so jealous, Steve,” you whisper, ‘jokingly’ but most of all, painfully to yourself.

You’d hope that he was jealous, that all of this was the result of the burning red emotion, but why would he feel jealous over you? 

Just the presence of Jacob was enough to bruise Steve’s ego. That’s all that it was.

You know he never liked the jock, and the fact that he got his hands on you first, must’ve hit a nerve. But it has nothing to do with you. Steve is not jealous of who you sleep with, he doesn’t care. He is just bruised cause he felt threatened with an ex hook-up you had, afraid of them stealing you for tonight.

Steve huffs at your words, shaking his head at you. He pulls out of you with a hiss, cursing under his breath. 

“Well, did you think I’d let him steal you away from me…?” He asks, clearing his throat as he adds, “tonight?” 

And then he looks down, not wanting to show his face, to show how jealous he really is. 

He doesn’t need you to know that. 

He slips his hand between your thighs again, adjusting your panties and putting them back in place before he fixes your dress, pushing it back down over your ass. 

Your eyes soften at his action, heart fluttering in your chest. 

It’s not the first time he does this, he always takes care of you – he cleans you up, he helps you put a shirt on your body whenever you stay over, whenever you’re too weak to move. He is good to you, gentle and soft, and that is dangerous, because despite the thoughts in your head, the logical part that tells you the truth, his actions keep putting false hope into your heart. 

You grab the counter, and on shaky feet, you step closer and hold onto it tightly, watching as he fixes himself next, throwing the condom and the discarded foil into the trash, he tucks himself back into his pants and steps towards the counter beside you to wash his hands. 

His lips are stained with your lipstick, his hair is messy and his cheeks are flushed – he looks so cute like this. 

You tear your eyes away from him and finally look at your own reflection, your eyes widen and you gasp in shock – not at the mascara that runs down your face, the messy hair or just how puffy your lips are, no, this is not exactly an unusual sight to see, but the marks on your neck are, because they are so much bigger and darker than they usually are. 

You throw your hand up towards your neck and turn to face him, “what the fuck, Steve?” 

He winces, quickly drying his hands before he turns to face you, as well. Eying your hand that is covering the hickeys he left, your big eyes filled with panic. He can’t help but think you look cute like this, with your hair all messy and your lips curled into a pout. 

“H-How am I gonna hide–”

He grabs your face and pulls you into a soft kiss, just a quick peck, one that is enough to cut you off. 

“You think I’m done with you and we’re gonna go back to the party?” He chuckles, caressing your cheek as he pulls away from your puckered lips, “no, we’re leaving, Blondie.” 

You gulp at his words and squeeze your aching thighs together as excitement rises back up in you. 

“So, fix yourself and meet me downstairs,” he murmurs, placing another soft kiss to your lips before he pulls away. “I’ll wait by the front door.” 

He takes another look at your neck, hiding his satisfied smirk by turning around. He unlocks the door and opens it, leaving you alone in the bathroom as he makes his way downstairs to find Eddie or Robin, to announce that he will be driving home a very sick Blondie. 

While a smirk keeps playing on his lips, you are panicking in the bathroom, not knowing how to hide the marks he left, what lie to come up with this time if Eddie sees and asks questions again. 

You do your best to fix your hair, running your fingers through it and wiping away the mascara streaks on your cheeks, and the smudged lipstick, that you only now realize, is still on his lips, he didn’t even bother to wipe it away – what an idiot. 

You step back and take a look at your dress, smoothing it down and moving your hands back to your hair. The marks on your neck are so strong, so very visible, you’re not even sure if foundation and concealer will be able to hide this. A groan falls from your lips. 

You should do the same to him, he surely won’t fix it with makeup. 

You press your palm against your neck, testing out how it will look if you just go out like this. 

“This looks so stupid,” you mutter to yourself, rolling your eyes. 

You pray that you won’t run into any of your friends on the way out, all you have to do is make it downstairs and to the front door. You haven’t seen much of Eddie before, and Robin is too busy with Vickie anyways. 

You take a deep breath and then you step out of the bathroom and into the hallway. It’s not as crowded as it is downstairs, but there are still a few people you have to pass, as you awkwardly keep your hand on your neck, pretending to scratch it. 

You feel eyes on you, but you don’t bother to turn around to look at them, not even caring if they heard you and Steve – as long as your friends didn’t hear, you’re good. 

Your legs are shaky, and walking in your platform heels feels like a workout after Steve just railed you into oblivion, your stomach still flutters, yet feeling empty at the lack of him. 

You walk down the stairs, carefully. You hope that your knees won’t buckle. 

The party is still in full swing, some Billy Idol song blaring through the speakers as the living room is still filled with dancing people. Red solo cups are everywhere, empty bottles and cans litter the counters and tables – poor Vickie will regret throwing a party when she wakes up tomorrow morning. 

Your eyes fall on him, the smug look on his face making you huff in annoyance. Steve enjoys seeing you struggle after what he just did to you, he licks his lips as his eyes run up and down your body, they flash with amusement when they fall on your hand, you see the way his shoulders shake, he is chuckling at you as he plays with the car keys in his hand. Smug bastard. 

You roll your eyes at him, and turn away, looking around to see if any of your friends are around, but the only people you see are strangers and a few known faces from school, you sigh in relief, knowing that you won’t have to lie into Eddie’s or Robin’s face. You return your gaze to Steve whose face is suddenly no longer as smug as it was a few seconds ago, his eyes aren’t even on you anymore, but rather on someone behind you as he looks over your shoulder. 

Someone calls your name, someone who is the reason for the rage on Steve’s face that you had already seen before. 

You turn around when your name is being called again, to find Jacob walking towards you. Oh. 

You grow flustered knowing that the fucked out look on your face is so very obvious. You can’t even hide it. 

He catches up to you, and he reaches his hand out to place it on your upper arm, “hi, there you are,” he smiles, towering over you. He is tall, much taller than you, even taller than Steve. 

You greet him back, forcing a smile. 

He furrows his brows as his eyes scan your face, his smile falling a little, a frown appearing instead, “are you okay?” He asks, worriedly. “Do you feel sick?” 

You shake your head and open your mouth to speak when the words get stuck in your throat after his hand leaves your arm and comes to rest on your face instead, surprising you and angering Steve. 

“Do you need me to take you home?” He asks, caressing your cheek. 

You would have moved, but you are frozen in place as you stare at him, completely caught off guard by his action and the look in his eyes. 

“I-I…”

A different hand appears on your lower back, one that your body instantly recognizes, because your skin heats up and your chest blooms with warmth – it’s scary how well your body knows him. 

Steve pulls you into his side, wrapping his arm around you, “I got her, she’s in good hands, Leeney.” 

Sometimes you wish that he knew how you felt about him, how your heart nearly explodes every time he says something only a boyfriend should say – maybe then, he would take pity on you and your heart. 

You melt into his touch, the smell of his cologne is so intoxicating. 

Jacob retracts his hand, he looks between you and Steve, his shoulders slumping a little as he steps back, he looks down at you, nodding, “alright.” 

“Come on,” Steve murmurs, squeezing your waist as he begins to pull you away, wanting you away from the jock and towards the front door. 

“Bye Jacob–”

“Wait,” he rushes forward, and reaches for your hand, placing a folded note into your palm. “Here, I’m not making the same mistake again.” He gives your hand a squeeze and smiles at you, not waiting for your response, he steps away and takes another glance at Steve, before he turns around and leaves. 

You stare at the note in your hand, you don’t have to open it to know what’s written on the paper. 

You fail to notice the absolute rage in Steve’s eyes, how much more intense it is than before, how tense the muscles in his jaw are, how it takes everything in him not to slam you against the wall and kiss you in front of Jacob and everyone else. 

He pulls you out of the house without a single word, he grabs your hand instead as he leads you outside, he shuts the door and the sound of music and the many voices begin to fade away as you both make your way to his car, which he parked on the side of the road. 

Your heels click against the cobblestone, your hands hold tightly onto his, you’re quiet, and so is he, but a storm is raging in his mind, and everything he felt before, now feels so much worse. 

Can he keep you when there’s other people who want you just as much as he does? – And even, in different, much more intimate ways? 

He saw the way Jacob looked at you, he wasn’t only interested in another quick fuck, he wanted more, and it irritates Steve, it makes his stomach churn uncomfortably, it makes his heart clench in his chest – it shouldn’t, there is nothing more between you than this, and yet, he is scared to lose it, the little secret that you both have, he isn’t ready to let it go, he isn’t ready to let you go and watch you fall into someone else arms. 

He wants to keep you, and he will do everything to make it stay that way. 

He knows that there is only one way to show you that he is the only you will ever need. At least, for now.

He opens the passenger door and lets go of your hand so you can get inside, eying the note that is still in your other hand. He closes the door once you’re seated, and he makes his way around his BMW, when he gets inside as well, he notices the now unfolded note in your lap and the number that’s written on it. 

He grits his teeth but bites back his bitter words. 

You won’t call him, he will make sure of that. 

It’s not easy to focus on the drive when his mind is in such a whirlwind and his eyes keep glancing back at the note in your lap, that you folded back together again. 

You aren’t looking at it any longer, your eyes are focused on the road and the passing trees. 

“What do you plan to do with that number, Blondie?” He asks, unable to hold back and hide the jealousy this time. 

You narrow your eyes at him, taking a look at his hands, you see how hard he is gripping the steering wheel when you take in the sight of his knuckles. The veins in his hands nearly popped. You gulp as your eyes move along his arm, muscles that are hidden beneath the black sleeve of his shirt peeking out just a little, his cheeks are red, his jaw clenched. 

He is angry, but a part of you can see through your insecurities. 

It’s not only his ego that was bruised, it’s not only the anger that shines through, there is more, so much more. 

The jealousy that only you ever felt is lingering in his eyes. 

He is jealous. 

Steve is jealous over you. 

And there is really no reason for him to feel that way, but you can’t stop the rush of excitement and happiness that floods through your body. 

If he felt that way before he dragged you into the bathroom, over an innocent conversation, what will he do now that Jacob has made an entirely new move?

Will you get another taste of what he gave you before?

Will he call you baby again?

You’re stepping into a dangerous territory, you know it, but the thrill over it makes heat pool in your stomach. 

“I don’t know, Lego Head,” you shrug, trying to keep a straight face as you look at him, “maybe I��ll keep it… You know, for when you don’t answer your phone.” You lie as you pick the note back up. 

Steve huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. 

He rolls down the window, giving you no time to react, he snatches the note from your hand and wastes no second to throw it out onto the road, letting it get lost in the darkness. 

“Hey!” You gasp as your eyes widen. 

“Whoops, my hand slipped,” he flashes you an innocent smile as he closes the window again. 

“What if I want to call him!?”

Your question makes him grip the wheel even tighter, knuckles turning white. 

“You don’t need him,” he mumbles. 

You sit up straighter, raising your brows at him, “oh really? I don’t? Why’s that?” 

Steve can’t take it any longer, the feelings inside of him boiling over, controlling all his actions now. 

He pulls the car off the main road, and drives into the isolated wooded area that leads to a stream, a hidden part of Lovers Lake that he only ever came to when he needed to clear his head. 

He slams his foot on the brakes and turns off the car, turning off the lights and unbuckling the seatbelt, he turns to you in anger, “because you literally just said no one can fuck you like I can!” 

Your heart begins to race, goosebumps rise on your skin, and you press your palms against the leather seat beneath you. The giddiness inside of you is now so difficult to keep hidden. 

“Ah, so that should make you exclusive,” you smirk, tilting your head to the side, “okay, well, maybe he got better–”

You don’t even get to finish your sentence, you don’t get to taunt him anymore as he turns his back to you and gets out of the car, slamming the door shut and rounding the car to get to you, he rips open the door on your side. 

“You don’t learn, do you?” 

“W-What?” 

“Get out.” He demands, not nicely. 

You frown at him, watching his stance and how angry he looks at you. “What the fuck–”

“Get out,” he repeats, in a much calmer yet angrier voice. 

You shiver at his command, and you take a deep breath as you unfasten your seatbelt, your heels hit the grass as you get out of the car. Steve places his hand on your back and pushes you out of the way so he can close the door before he opens the one to the backseat. He glares into your eyes, “get in.” 

Your frown transforms into a look of complete confusion as you look between his hand and the seat that he points at. 

“You’re making me change seats?”

He steps closer to you, “get the fuck inside, right now.” 

The demanding, aggressive tone in his voice doesn’t make you question him again, you swallow harshly and turn around, you place your hands on the leather seats as you crawl inside, moaning in surprise when he smacks your ass again.

He chuckles darkly behind you, “you really like that huh?” 

You glare at him over your shoulder, earning another slap to your other cheek, making you jerk and whine. 

He chuckles again and follows you inside, closing the door behind him, “noted.” 

The leather beneath you is cold, and you grip it tightly, sucking in a sharp breath, and just as you go to turn around and sit down, Steve’s strong hands grab at your hips, flipping you over and manhandling you underneath his body as he forces you to lie down on your back. He pushes your thighs apart, settling in between them, he presses his palms flat against the seat on both sides of your head. 

A shiver runs down your spine, not from fear, but from excitement, because he probably didn’t want you to realize he was jealous, but he is showing you. He is clearly showing you and you can’t help but feel absolutely happy, accomplished. 

You know that you’re in for something when you look into his eyes – you can’t even find the right words to describe the emotions that are lingering in them, but they make your inside flutter so wildly, you feel the need to clench your thighs together as he looms over you, but you can’t, he doesn’t let you. 

His nose brushes against yours, his hair falls in front of his eyes as he inches closer to you, his breath kissing your skin. 

“Has anyone ever put you in your place, Blondie?” He asks as he drums his finger along your shoulder, hooking it around the strap of your dress. 

“W-What?” You stutter, hating how weak and shaky your voice sounds. 

“I’m taking that as a no.” 

Steve drags the strap down, and he leans down to press his lips against your shoulder, “I wanted to be nice, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, “wanted to take care of you, but fuck, you leave me no choice.” 

You squirm beneath him, digging your nails into the flesh of your legs as you furrow your brows at his words. 

His lips ghost over your collarbone, his hand now pushing your dress down a little, he exposes your chest to him, and he traces the outline of your breast before his fingers pinch your nipple, making you whine again. 

“Time for you to understand–” He murmurs as he plants a kiss to your jaw, “-- that I’m the only one you need.” 

His movements are soft, his touches are gentle but to your surprise, they don’t stay that way, after a few more kisses, he flips the bottom part of your dress over, bunching it around your waist, he hooks his finger around your panties and tears them off of you, throwing them over his back, not caring where they land. His fingers trace your legs, hands finding their way to your heels, he unfastens the straps around your ankles, and takes them off before he returns his attention to where you need him the most. 

He teases you with his fingers, torturing your clit and chuckling darkly at the whines that start filling the space around you. 

Steve had been intense and rough before, but one look into his face shows you that you will get more tonight, so much more. 

He splits you open with his fingers again, sinking them into your soaked hole, he fucks you with them, he taunts you with his words and sucks more marks onto your skin, littering the other side of your neck and your chest with hickeys. He makes you see stars with the way he curls his digits inside of you and rubs your clit. 

To your surprise and confusion, he doesn’t let you cum, he pulls his fingers out and stops touching you when you’re about to fall apart, just like he did before in the bathroom. Nothing like this ever happened before. 

You don’t think anything of it at first, not when he seems desperate to fill you up in a different way. He fumbles with his pants and pushes them down, along with his boxers. He rolls a condom over his length again, one of many he has in the glove compartment because sometimes you two don’t even reach a bed when seeing each other, rushing to do it just as he did earlier, your mouth waters at the sight of his leaking, red tip. 

“C’mere,” he murmurs, grabbing your waist and pulling your weakened body on top of him, you instantly reach for his shoulders, grabbing them tightly as he gives you no time to react before he makes you sink down on his cock – you don’t mind. You are so needy, so wet for him that your juices soak your inner thighs. 

But you need to feel his skin on yours, so you reach for the hem of his shirt, and pull it over his head, he leans forward as you rip it off of him. You throw it on the seat and wrap your arms around his naked shoulders, pressing yourself against his hairy chest.

You are the first to start moving, rolling your hips and riding him slowly, but he isn’t satisfied with that, he wants something else, he wants more. 

Steve makes you bounce on his dick, he holds your hips harshly and uses you as though you’re a fleshlight, filling you to the brim and slamming you up and down on his dick, fucking you rather disrespectfully. 

He makes you fall forward, as your eyes shut at the roughness and the intensity. He is buried so deep inside of you, you’re not sure if you have ever felt this before. Tears blur your vision again that night, moans turn into whimpers and whimpers into cries, the pleasure so strong, so overwhelming. 

You throw your hand against the fogged up window, slamming your palm against it, leaving a handprint there for him. 

No words escape you, not even his name, the only thing you can do is fall limply against his body and hide your face in the crook of his neck as drool starts coming out of your mouth but the moment it touches his skin, Steve grabs the back of your neck and pulls you back to him again, so he can see your face. 

“Does he even get to see you like this?” He grunts, fucking up into you and watching the way you squeeze your crying eyes shut. “Drooling? Crying? I bet I’m the only one you’ve ever been this cock drunk for… aren’t I?” 

You nod your head wildly, panting and gasping as pain and pleasure mix together. He thinks it’s just physical, but there is so much more to it. You knew you would turn into this for him and just him, you’ve always known.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Steve lets go of your neck, making you fall back against him, he decides to tease you more by smacking your ass, causing you to jolt and whimper, filling him with satisfaction. 

He makes your pleasure the more unbearable, causing you to clench around him. 

And just like before, just as you’re so close to reaching your peak, he stops your movements all together, filling you with anger now, making you snap out of the haze he put you into. He stills and grabs you tightly, so you won’t move, he lifts you up and off his cock, biting back a groan. 

“W-What the fuck, Steve?” You cry out, “I-I was so close!” 

His eyes are nearly unrecognizable when he squeezes your cheeks together with one hand, forcing you to look at him. The angry sight in front of you, only makes you clench around him even harder. 

“You’re not cumming until I say so, Blondie.” It was stern, but Steve had a point to make, he needs to make it happen. 

You aren’t even aware of what is going on inside of his troubled mind, you could never even guess, not even when he flips you over and throws you down under him, placing your left leg over his shoulder. 

The position is quite cramping, but you forget about any kind of pain, when he sinks back inside of you and starts pounding into you with a force that makes the stars shine brighter and your heart race faster. 

Steve is not even focused on his pleasure, despite how good you feel around him, all that he can think about is your pleasure. He gives his all, he gives everything to kill any memory of what any of your other hookups did to you, of the pleasure they made you feel, of the pleasure he once made you feel. 

He snaps his hips into yours, fucking you so deeply and roughly, making his dick ache in pleasure. 

He surely never fucked anyone this way before. He never felt this angry before.

He watches you closely, the way your pussy flutters around his dick, the way you grip the leather beneath you, nearly ripping through it with your nails as tears of pleasure stream down your face and you tilt your head to the side with furrowed brows, your tits bouncing as he slams you back and forth on the seats. 

Your moans are so loud that anyone who were to pass by, would freak out and almost faint or call the cops. 

He is not even touching your clit, not even grazing it with his fingers, not giving it any pleasure again… yet. But he feels your fluttering walls, how tight you are getting around him, how high pitched your moans are getting – you are close, so close. 

And so is he, he keeps thrusting in and out of you, not tearing his eyes off of your beautiful face as he chases his own high, roughly and deeply. Your name falls from his lips, and his hips stutter as he finishes into the condom, groaning as your walls grip him tightly. 

Steve pulls out of you reluctantly, stopping your pleasure once again. 

He pulls your leg off his shoulder gently and places it back on the seat, giving it a squeeze.

His chest heaves up and down, he breathes heavily as he stares at you, biting back the chuckle when your eyes shoot open and a bewildered look crosses your face, the tears in your eyes still shining brightly as you raise yourself up on your elbows, frowning angrily at him. 

“You– I’m going to fucking kill you, Steve, it’s not fair!” Your bottom lip trembles, you are clearly very frustrated with him. 

He looks down to hide the amusement on his face, taking the condom off, he ties it up and throws it on the ground, making a mental note to throw it away later on. 

Steve tugs himself back into his boxers and pulls his pants up, not bothering with his belt just yet. 

He shakes his head at you when you squeeze your thighs together, hiding yourself from him. He hooks his hands around your knees, pulling you closer against him before he tears them apart again, exposing your glistening swollen pussy to him. 

He licks his lips as he hooks your leg around his hip, holding it there as brings his other hand back to your center, he bites down on his lip, looking at you with mischief in his eyes as he delivers a slap to your clit. 

“Wha– Steve!” You gasp in surprise and if he weren’t so determined, so centered on you, he would have been surprised by his action too. 

“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, using his pointer finger to tease your slit, he spreads your folds apart, and slips his middle finger and ring finger into your sopping pussy, he focuses on your face. 

Your angry features slowly relax again, mouth parting as he starts to move his fingers again, this time he does aim for your orgasm… and more. 

He moves slowly at first, rocking his fingers in and out of you, moaning himself at the noises he draws from your pussy. 

Despite the pleasure that you’re falling back into again, you grow flustered at the noises and raise your hands up to your face, covering it and hiding yourself from him, but your action only earns you another slap to your clit. 

“Uh uh,” Steve shakes his head at you, letting go of your leg, he reaches forward and grabs both of your wrists with one hand, dragging your hands away from your face, “don’t hide from me.”

“But–”

He curls his fingers into your g-spot, tearing a gasp from you. 

“No buts,” he grumbles, as he moves steadily, fingering your pussy roughly now. He angles his hand differently, the end of his palm now brushing against your aching clit every time he thrusts his fingers deeply into you. 

He shuts you up quickly, making every word, every sentence get caught in your throat. 

His left hand fondles your boobs, your waist, your stomach, your hip – he touches you everywhere, leaving every inch of your skin burning with desire. His fingertips dig deeply into your leg as he keeps you spread open, his thigh keeping your other leg from closing, as he abuses your cunt with his fingers that are much longer than your own. 

Your back arches in pleasure, your sensitive core crying for more. 

The feeling inside of you is different, new, but you aren’t surprised by it, he edged you three or four times tonight, tears of frustration fell from your eyes, those tears that are now caused by pleasure and sensitivity. 

Your whimpers are so erotic to him, just like the wetness he can hear as he is knuckles deep inside of you, stretching you open. He can see the goosebumps on your skin and the way your stomach tenses up, the way your breathing stutters. 

You are in bliss, he can see it on your face, there is not a single thought in that pretty head of yours. 

He leans down, pressing into you as he inches closer to your face, pecking your lips, “no one else can make you feel like this… no one.” He whispers against your lips, placing another kiss upon them before he moves to your marked up neck, ghosting over it and inching down to your chest, trailing kisses along the way to your boobs. He wraps his lips around your nipple, looking up at you, he begins to suck, adding more pleasure to your body. 

You belong to him. 

“Steve!” You whimper, throwing your hands into his hair, you let your fingers get lost in it. 

He moans against you, quickening the pace of his fingers, curling them even harder inside of you, making you shudder at the feeling, jolting even when he presses his thumb against your swollen clit. 

You tremble beneath him, the wave of pleasure being so strong that a sob falls from your lips, your fingers curling into his hair roughly, “fuck… baby,” you whine. 

A surprised whimper falls from his own lips, the nickname stopping every thought in his mind, for a second. 

Baby, Baby, Baby… 

No one has ever called him that, no one. The fact that you are the first, somehow makes it better, and he doesn’t even know why. 

The coil inside of you grows bigger and bigger, an unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your lower stomach, making drool form on your tongue and stars blur your vision. Your nerves feel as though they are on fire, your skin prickling as he fucks you roughly. 

“I-I’m so close,” you whimper and scrunch your face up as you move your hips a little, meeting his thrusts. 

He is so lost in you and your moans, he doesn’t even realize that he is biting, tugging on your nipple with his teeth until a new, higher moan escapes you. 

“O-Oh my god,” you whisper shakily as your eyes roll back, “S-Steve! That feels so good!” 

“Yeah?” He murmurs against you, lips returning to your neck, he pecks it a few times as he looks down, watching the way your thighs tremble, the way the muscles in your stomach tense so tightly and your chest rises up and down so much heavier than before, “your thighs are shaking so much… holy shit.” 

The pressure inside of you becomes so overwhelming, it feels a lot, it feels too much. 

“S-Steve,” you tremble, “t-that feels weird.” 

Your voice sounds so small, unsure, yet the moans won’t stop escaping you. 

“No, baby, you’re doing so good,” he whispers as he lets go of your leg, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, he wipes your tears and brushes your hair out of your face, pressing his thumb against your bottom lip, “just trust me… let go for me.” 

You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes, not even when he starts peppering your face with kisses. 

The pleasure is too much, the pressure makes you panic slightly, but he doesn’t stop, if anything, he fucks you harder and faster with his fingers, keeping them curled inside of you, his palm keeps brushing your overstimulated clit. He is hoping to get what he has been seeking. You haven’t trembled this much before, and he is confident, he is so confident that you won’t forget this, that you won’t forget how he made you feel, that you won’t forget him. 

“C’mon,” he murmurs against your lips, “I know you want to.”

Your bottom lip shakes, the pressure threatening to explode inside of you, every inch of your body now burning and quivering. 

You let go of his hair and throw your hand down to wrap your fingers around his wrist, your eyes open, and you look at him through your blurry vision. 

Your moans and the squelching that gets louder and louder, sounds that are like music to his ears, making his stomach flutter and his dick twitch again – to his own surprise. 

“I-I can’t– too much, Steve!” You whine, nearing an edge you have never touched before, “I’m gonna–”

You never get to finish your sentence, because as Steve plunges his fingers in even deeper, and curls them harder. You can only throw your head back, a mix between a squeal and a whimper falling. 

Steve nearly stops all of his movements when you clench around his fingers like a vice. 

Your hips jerk upwards as liquids shoot out of you, and he gets to where he wanted. 

“H-Holy shit–”

Steve’s eyes widen, a chuckle of amusement and excitement leaving his lips, he stares at you in awe. Surprised at the tent in his pants, he is rock hard again. 

He keeps pounding his fingers in and out of you, not stopping his movements just yet. With a smirk, he leans down to kiss your cheek, cooing at you, “you’re such a good girl for me.” He says possessively. 

Your walls unclench around him, and he thinks it’s all, when you suddenly clench again, tighter than before, another shockwave rushes through your body, and you squirt even more, the leather beneath you becoming even wetter than before. 

Steve’s hand is drenched, up to his elbow, and so is the front of his jeans, his stomach and the window behind him. The evidence of how good he made you feel is all over his seats, filling him with pride. 

A satisfied smirk plays on his lips, he feels like he’s on top of the world, he feels like a fucking king again, knowing that he brought such pleasure to your body. 

He never even thought that this was possible, that this move in porn movies is nothing but a myth, but he had to try, he had to try it with you. It would have shamed him before to admit he had been watching more porn than usual just to do the things he sees with you, but now? He feels like he is the most intelligent person in the world.

Your body falls limp, whines and whimpers still filling the space around you, tears roll down your cheek as you’re trying to catch your breath. 

Steve pats your cheek, caressing it gently as he stares at you fondly, “hey, are you okay?” He whispers, unable to stop himself from pecking your lips. 

You nod weakly, still needing a moment to come down from the high. 

He keeps kissing you, playing with your hair as he caresses your skin, pulling his fingers out of you after a while, making you whine again. 

You open your eyes, struggling to keep them open after the intense orgasm you just had. You look into his eyes, they’re filled with victory. A proud smile playing on his lips. 

You raise your eyebrows when you notice the drops on the window, the wet seats, his soaked hands and the wetness beneath you. 

Heat rushes up to your cheeks, embarrassment rushes through you and you can’t help but gasp as you look around the mess that you made. Tears blur your vision, “o-oh my god!” You say weakly, shakily as you start crying, catching him off guard, “I-I’m so sorry, Steve!” 

You press your palms against the wet seats and push to sit up. 

Steve shakes his head at you, he cups your cheeks and shushes you by kissing your lips again, “fuck, Blondie, don’t cry – holy shit, that was so fucking hot,” he chuckles, “it’s just leather, sweetheart. And honestly, this feels like a fucking victory to me.”

You blink through your tears, looking at him with big and glassy eyes, your heart still pounds in your chest, shame swirling deeply in your chest. 

“Really?” 

He nearly faints at the look in your eyes. 

Who would’ve thought that Steve would ever get to see you like this or that he’d get to be the one to make you come undone so intensely? 

You are so vulnerable, right now. It tugs at his heartstrings, knowing that you struggle with emotions, that you hate showing weakness and tears – yet here you are, even if it’s only out of shame, it shows him that you trust him, even if only a little. 

You’re unaware of the fluttering in his chest that you cause, the warmth around his heart as he stares at you. He traces your cheek before he slips his hands down to your waist. 

You look so fucking cute. 

How can he not adore you when you look at him like this?

He gulps as he is completely aware of the way his heart feels. 

You’re going to be a problem, that’s for sure – but he can’t find it in himself to care, not now. 

He sits back and pulls you along with him, dragging you into his lap, he surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shaking, hot body. He pulls you into him so he can hug you, he cups the back of your head and makes you relax against his chest. He presses a kiss to your forehead, feeling the need to treat you gently, sweetly. 

Your breath hitches in your throat, his actions doing nothing to calm your racing heart.

It takes you a moment, but eventually, you calm down and close your eyes as you bury your face in his bare chest, his hair tickling your cheek a little. Steve runs his finger up and down your spine, making your heart race. 

Your body is aching, your legs are trembling, you nearly squeal when his crotch brushes against your center as you try to move closer to him.

“Wait,” he whispers, he grabs your waist again and changes your position, moving both of your legs over his thighs instead, so you don’t have to straddle him, and then, he pulls you back into his chest again. He brushes his fingers against your upper arm, stroking your skin softly, “is that better?” 

You nod. 

“Good,” he whispers, letting all his emotions guide him as he presses a kiss to your temple. 

“Y-You made me squirt,” you whisper, blushing. 

He chuckles, looking down at you and the way your cheek is pressed against his chest, “yeah Blondie, I made you squirt. I never did that in my life, you never did that in your life, we should put a memory plaque here.” 

Finally, a giggle falls from your lips, and you look up at him, amusement shining in your eyes. 

“I need a shower and sleep for like… three days straight.” 

Steve chuckles, squeezing you tighter, he finds himself liking the feeling of holding you this way, he can’t help but want to pull you closer. 

“I’m happy to provide all that for you,” he smiles down at you. 

Steve likes to see you in his clothes, he likes it when you take showers at his place and make his bathroom smell like your shampoo and your sweet body wash. 

He missed it last night. 

He clears his throat, his smile falling a bit, “why didn’t you uh… call me the past two days?” 

You hesitate, not wanting to show your face to him, you keep your head down. 

“Oh uh… I felt sick, nauseous, probably because of something I ate, maybe it was Eddie’s attempt at the homemade burrito…”

Steve’s mind was plagued with ugly thoughts after seeing you with Jacob, but this is beginning to ease his mind a little. 

“Wait so,” he blinks, sitting up straighter as he continues to look down at you, “you were home?” 

You nod, meeting his eyes, “where else would I be?”

It’s not exactly a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. You had an appointment in the morning, one that you had been nervously awaiting for weeks. 

The tension that remained leaves his body completely now, relief rushes through him, making him relax fully. 

“I thought… since Jacob was back–”

Your lips part in surprise as your eyes widen, before a smile appears on your lips. 

“Aw, is Stevie jealous and worried that someone is going to take his place?” You ask him, taunting him a little. 

Yeah, he actually is. 

But he can’t tell you that, can he? 

He pinches your ass with his fingers, a smirk tugging at his lips, “don’t get all bratty now, or I will show you how no one can replace me… again.” 

You’re a little taken aback by all the comments, by his actions today, by the softness of his touch, right now. He didn’t fight you on it. He just told you to not be bratty instead of telling you to stop thinking that way.

Today, he treated you as though you were his. 

He acted out of jealousy and was possessive over you, and in the end, he pulled you into his arms, treating you with such gentleness that it will surely leave a stain in your heart forever. 

This is dangerous, he is dangerous. 

He is giving you a glimpse of something that you will never have. 

He is showing you colors, you can’t ever see with anyone else. 

And maybe, this should be enough to make you run into safety, to protect your heart from the pain it will suffer when it’s all over. 

But in what world, would you ever run from him?

You know how this will end, but it won’t stop you from kissing his lips and letting him into you. 

He can break your heart and shatter your soul for all you care. 

It’s all his anyway. 

-

Eddie looked all over for you, the backyard, the kitchen, even the bathroom and the bedrooms, he was sick with worry as he searched for you. He got distracted when Robin forced him into a game of beer pong, with Argyle and Vickie, and lost sight of you. 

The girl ended up calming him down, when she told him that Steve took you home, you looked sick apparently. But Eddie knows better than that. 

He knows deep in his gut that his suspicions were right, that he wasn’t thinking into it too deeply. 

On his way out of Vickie’s house, he bumps into someone, turning around to apologize, he finds a very drunk Jacob, he raises his hands up, slurring out an apology, but then a confused frown appears on his face when he seems to recognize him. 

“Munson, you’re friends with her, right?” 

“Huh, with who?” Eddie mumbles, tilting his head. 

Jacob says your name and Eddie blinks a few times and slowly nods, “best friends actually, what of it?”

The tall jock smells like beer and weed mixed together as he steps closer, invading his space a little. 

“Well, I mean, is she dating Harrington or something?” Jacob asks, shaking his head. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows, curiosity sparking inside of him. 

“Um…” He could say no, he definitely could, but Jacob seems like a source of information right now, and he decides to use this opportunity to find out more, “what makes you think that?” 

“Well, the fact that this guy cockblocked me two times tonight is the main one. Tried flirting with her and he just pulled her away and even dared to glare at me as if I were the one interrupting his conversation, man." Jacob is slurring, rambling, and he just looks like a guy that lost the opportunity, not someone who would push you into a date or something. 

But Eddie is stunned by the revelation, so he pressed forward.

“Two times?”

“Yeah, the first one he took her somewhere as soon as I started talking to her, and the next he interrupted us so he could leave with her... Say sorry to Harrington for me, she didn't tell me she was dating him,” he mumbles, waving his hand as he rolls his eyes and steps.

Eddie’s gears work, trying to figure out a way to confirm all of this, but for now, the information is enough, his suspicions only growing with certainty. A small honest smile appears on his face and he pats Jacob on the shoulder.

“Thank you Leeney. I'll make sure to let Stevie know.” 

The blond nods and steps away, giving him a weak smile before he walks off, leaving Eddie by himself. 

His dark brown eyes flash with understanding and realization, a laugh of disbelief falling from his lips as he puts all the puzzle pieces together. 

He brings his hand up to his chin and shakes his head when he thinks of the marks on both yours and Steve’s skin. 

A scoff falls from Eddie’s lips. 

“Chandler and Heidi, right.” 

♡

tagging friends and mutuals

@prettyboyeddiemunson @mysticmunson @taintedcigs @joekeerysmoles @ibellcipem @maroon-cardigan @sherrylyn628 @corrodedcorpses @munsonlore @munson-mjstan @agirlwholovesrockstars

[fallinforgyu]

steamroller

pairing: mingi/fem!reader

genre: childhood best friends to lovers, college au, angst, smut - minors do NOT interact

warnings: no dom/sub dynamic, unrequited love, mutual loss of virginity, mingi has a massive cock, fingering, oral sex (f. recieving)

word count: 10k

a/n: i want to be honest with you guys, this is not a comeback. this is just a little fic that i’ve been working on for the past year or so that has brought me a lot of comfort, and i hope that it can do the same for you. i’m not sure if i’ll ever be active on this blog like i used to be, but please know that i will always be a writer and i will always read every single comment, reblog, and note that is sent to me. thank you for being my readers. i love you all so so dearly <3

“Hey, Mingi,” Yunho asked, staring at his distorted reflection in the back of a flimsy dining hall spoon, “Have you ever eaten a girl out before?”

 “W-What the fuck?” Mingi choked on his homemade sandwich. “Why would you ask me that?”

 “Because I want to go down on my girl on our next date…” he dropped the spoon on his tray, frowning as it clanged. “We’ve already fucked but I think it’ll be a nice way to show her I really care, you know? But I’ve never done it before.”

 “Wait-” Mingi dropped his voice to a whisper, leaning forward across the table. “You’ve had sex before?” 

 “You haven’t?” Yunho grinned.

 “Of course I haven’t, asshole! Why didn’t you tell me?”

 Yunho shrugged. “Guess I just didn’t think it was that important. What time’s your next class?” 

 “I’m done with classes for the day,” Mingi crumbled the tin foil that previously held his sandwich into a ball. “Yours is at 2:30, right?” 

 The older boy nodded and the two stood up, making their way to the nearest trash can.

 “Besides,” Yunho placed his tray on top of a growing stack of them while Mingi threw away his brown paper bag. “I thought you would’ve already fucked that girl you’re always with by now. What was her name again?”

 Mingi’s eyes widened as your name slipped past Yunho’s lips. “Sh!” he hissed, looking over his shoulder. “I told you to stop asking about her. She doesn’t like me like that.”

 “But you haven’t even tried!”

 “Yes, I have!”

 “Giving her a warm Tootsie Roll that had been sitting in your pocket all day does not count as trying.”

 “But I gave it to her on Valentine’s Day!” Mingi whined. “That counts for something, right?”

 He reluctantly met Yunho’s eyes, groaning when he saw his friend’s lips pressed into a thin line and his head shaking. 

 “You’ve gotta just tell her, dude. You’re never gonna know if you don’t try.” 

 He knew Yunho was right. If he ever wanted anything to change, he’d have to talk to you. Otherwise, he’d spend his entire life wondering what would’ve happened if he would’ve just had the balls to tell you. 

 He’d do it today, he decided, when he met you at your usual spot to walk back to your dorms together. That way, he could just run home if you said you didn’t feel the same way! Perfect plan. 

Mingi wiped his hands on his pants as he walked to your usual meeting spot, attempting to calm himself down and hype himself up at the same time. 

 He was really going to do it now; he was going to spill his heart out and hope that you somehow ended up in his arms. He’d start with how he’d loved you since you were kids when you took swim lessons with him at the community pool. You jumped right in the water when he was too afraid to duck his head underneath, and he remembered wanting to be brave like you. He loved you in middle school when you noticed him struggling with his math homework and offered to help. He loved you when you introduced him to Yunho, your friend from the student council who would end up becoming his best friend. And he loved you two years later, when he read your summer reading book aloud to you because staring at the pages made you sleepy. 

 He loved you last year when you went to prom together, even when you made a point of announcing to the rest of your group that the two of you were “Just really good friends.”

 Oh, well. He loved you when he gave you that Tootsie Roll three months ago, too.

 And he loved you now, when he approached you slowly and timidly, waving his hand to get you to look up from your phone.

 “Oh, hi,” you grinned, pulling the earbuds out of your ears.

 “Hi,” he smiled. 

 “How was… how was your day?” You asked the same question you always asked when you saw him, but it sounded different this time. It was like an exhale; Like you were breathing the words instead of speaking them. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought you were nervous. 

 “Good,” he nodded, gripping the straps of his backpack.

 “Good!” You repeated, clasping your hands together. “So…”

 He braced himself to say it. I’m in love with you. I have been ever since we were kids. I don’t want to be your friend, I want to kiss you.

 But you spoke first, and you said, “I think we should have sex.”

 He thought that he was having a stroke. He thought that you were having a stroke. “W-what did you say?”

 “Hear me out,” you waved your hands and closed your eyes. “We’re the last virgins in our friend group, right? And everyone thinks we’ve already fucked, anyway. So we could just do it together and get it over with so that it’s not as big of a deal when we do it with other people!”

 “I don’t…” His face felt like it was on fire. His stomach burned, and his palms were even sweatier than before. Get it over with?

 You sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you so fast. I’ve just been thinking about it for a few weeks now, and…”

 Your voice turned into a murmur in the back of his mind as he analyzed your words. Been thinking about it for weeks now? Thinking about…

 “But you don’t have to decide now, okay? I just wanted to see if you would be up for it.”

 He slowly blinked and nodded back like an idiot. “O-okay. Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

 You nudged his shoulder with yours as you stood up to walk home with him, down the streets of the campus that had been home to you for the past nine months. “And there’s no pressure, alright? You can say I’m gross and you see me like a sister and I won’t be mad,” you laughed.

 You’re beautiful. I want you to be my girlfriend.

 “I’ll think about it,” he repeated.

 “Cool,” you nodded. “How’d that stats test go?”

You felt sick when you tried to go to sleep that night, nauseated with the thought that you might’ve just ruined everything. 

 You didn’t mean for it to come out so fast. You didn’t mean to make him embarrassed. You only meant to present the idea to him; a sort of business proposal that would benefit the both of you before you went back home for the summer.

 None of your friends were virgins anymore. Only you and Mingi were left, and you’d known each other the longest, anyway. 

 You turned in bed to stare at the pictures of the two of you taped to the collage on your wall. He stood next to you in a cheap rental tuxedo at prom, his mouth pulled into a gummy smile and his arm linked with yours. In another picture, he stood three inches away from you at your middle school graduation, a reminder of the awkward phase the two of you went through when you realized that he was a boy and you were a girl. 

 But there were pictures from before that time, too, like the one of the two of you covered in nasty, artificially-colored green frosting from the cake at Mingi’s Incredible Hulk-themed birthday party in 2005. Or the two of you dressed up as Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents for Halloween in fourth grade. 

 Your oldest friend. The person who’d seen you through every phase of your life – even your emo phase in seventh grade – and stuck by you nonetheless. 

 You thought of his full lips and his broad shoulders, his big hands. He was handsome, there was absolutely no arguing that, but he was also kind and gentle and sweet. He was always the first to notice when something was wrong and the last to believe you when you told him you were fine. 

 Being his lover would be amazing, but not if it meant you couldn’t be his friend anymore. You wouldn’t fall unless he asked you to because losing him wasn’t an option.

 You’d tell him tomorrow to forget it. That it was stupid, and you changed your mind. 

Mingi told Yunho about it at lunch the next day. 

 “She talked to me yesterday,” he mumbled, picking the peel off of a clementine.

 “And? What’d she say?” Yunho leaned forward, anticipating Mingi’s answer.

 “She wants to fuck me.”

 Yunho let out a laugh of disbelief. “Don’t play with me right now.”

 “She does! She said, and I quote, ‘I think we should have sex.’”

 “Well,” Yunho chuffed, “There you go, buddy! I told you all you had to do was talk to her!”

 Mingi knew he didn’t really talk to you. He knew he just listened (well, half-listened, half daydreamed about what losing his virginity to you would be like) while you gabbed on about how it was a win-win situation.

 But Yunho seemed so happy… No, proud of him. His validation made Mingi feel good – like this was the right decision.

 “So, when are you going to do it?” Yunho squeezed a gluttonous amount of ketchup on his dry chicken patty.

 Mingi stared at his Ziploc bag of slightly brown apple slices. “Well… I haven’t really told her I’d do it yet.” 

 “What? Why not?”

 “I just didn’t know if it was right…”

 “The girl that you’ve been in love with since you were a kid wants to give you her virginity and take yours at the same time, and you don’t know if it’s right?”

 Mingi smiled. “Yeah… I know.”

 “Tell her today. I bet you’ll do it before you go home for the summer if you tell her today.”

 “Okay, yeah.” Mingi nodded, feeling more sure of himself. “I’ll tell her today.”

You had headphones in when you waited for Mingi after school, but you weren’t listening to any music. There was already too much buzzing around in your head, and music would only overwhelm you even more.

 You chewed on your nailbeds and rehearsed your script in your head. Hey, I was way off base yesterday. That was weird and I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. Let’s just pretend it never happened and enjoy the summer, okay?

 You saw his sneakers first. They were clean, exactly how they looked when he bought them four months ago. 

 He was smiling when you looked up.

 “Let’s do it.”

 “Wait… really?” You tilted your head to the side, trying not to stare at his lips.

 “Yeah. You were right, it just makes sense for us to do it together.” His cheeks were pink.

 You slowly nodded, trying to convince yourself that it was a good idea again. “Right. Yeah… yeah, it makes sense.” You clapped your hands together. “Well! It’s settled then! Is Yunho leaving town anytime soon?”

 “I don’t… I don’t think so?” 

 You stood up to begin your walk home, and Mingi followed suit.

 “Well,” you sighed. “My roommates are probably home, but we should be fine if we’re quiet.”

 Mingi stumbled a bit as he walked. “Wait, we’re doing this right now? Like, literally right now?”

 “No!” you turned your head towards him as you spoke, but you didn’t look him in the eye. “But don’t you think we should do other stuff first? And like… work up to the big thing?”

 “Other stuff?”

 “Just to warm us up. You know, so it won’t be as scary when we…” You pictured Mingi naked and on top of you, his eyebrows furrowed and his pretty lips parted in a moan. You cleared your throat. “You know.”

 “O-okay,” he nodded. “Okay, yeah.”

 Mingi sat on your bed with his hands tucked underneath his thighs to hide how badly they were shaking. He looked around the room, jealous of your full-size bed. He and Yunho were in a shared room dorm, and his feet always hung off the end of his twin mattress. 

 Meanwhile, you scrolled through your phone to find a good playlist. You hit shuffle on the first one that suited your taste and a familiar song tumbled out of your cheap Bluetooth speaker.

 “You’ve kissed someone before, right?” You put your phone on your desk and walked to your bed.

 “Yes,” he nodded. 

 You narrowed your eyes at him. “Who?”

 He squirmed, adjusting his hands under his thighs. “My lab partner in ninth grade. She felt me up under the bleachers.” I was thinking about you the whole time, his internal monologue chimed in, the words never making it past his lips.

 “Gross,” you laughed, sitting on your bed. “Just let me lead, okay? Try to mirror what I do.”

 You reached up to hold his jaw, and his entire body stiffened.

 “Hey.” You waved your hand in front of his face. “Don’t be nervous, Ming. It’s just me. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want t–”

 “I want to!” He interrupted. “Please. I really want to. I’m just nervous.”

 You rested both your hands on his shoulders. “It’s just me,” you repeated. “The same me that I’ve always been.”

 Yeah, he thought, that’s the problem.

 “Just follow my lead.” You gave him an encouraging smile, which he weakly returned. “It’ll be fun, okay?”

 Mingi nodded, closed his eyes, and held his breath. A few seconds later, he felt your lips against his, and they were even softer than he imagined. He was sure that his were chapped, and he regretted not wearing lip balm more often like his mom always told him to.

 “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

 He opened his eyes at the sound of your voice and gave you a tiny shake of his head.

 “Do you want another one?” You smiled. 

 “Yes, please,” he whispered.

 You kissed him again, a little bit longer this time. Your lips naturally slotted with his, and butterflies filled his tummy when you rested your hand on his thigh.

 And then your lips parted. He wasn’t sure what to do other than follow your lead like you’d told him to, so he let his lips part, as well.

 His breath caught in his throat when your hand slid down to his neck. He barely had time to recover before you slipped your tongue in his mouth, playful and teasing and light. 

 “O-oh,” he breathed, a shiver running through his body.

 “How was that?” 

 “Good. I liked… I liked the part when you used your tongue.”

 “Shut up,” you laughed. “You wanna… keep going?”

 “Yes,” he nodded.

 And that was how Mingi had his first makeout session with his childhood best friend. He tried to keep his whimpers to a minimum, but it was hard to when your kisses progressively got more heated. Your tongue in his mouth was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, and he blushed at your giggle when he tried to mirror your movements.

 “Such a fast learner, Ming.”

 “T-thanks…”

 “You know you can touch me, right? You don’t have to sit on your hands.”

 He looked down, completely unaware that his hands were still tucked underneath his thighs. They were both numb now, and they tingled when he pulled them up. He flexed and relaxed them to get his blood flowing again.

 “I’ve never…” he whispered, “I’m sorry. I don’t- I don’t know where to touch.”

 You gave him a smile laced with what might have been pity and took his big hand in yours, moving it to rest on your hip.

 “What about the other one?” He whispered, even quieter than before.

 And then you were lifting his other hand and placing it on your cheek. His breath caught in his throat again.

 It’s strange to truly look at someone whose face has always been a constant in your life. You looked different, but also the same. People change, but they don’t. 

 Mingi was sure of one thing: your face was the most beautiful he’d ever seen. He liked it ten years ago, and he liked it now.

 He kissed you first the next time. And since he’d gotten a little more confident, he let his lips part and used his tongue first, too. He kept his hands where you’d placed them and you kept yours around his neck. You kissed and kissed and kissed, and for now, that was enough.

It didn’t stay enough for long. You and Mingi practically ran to your dorm after school every day, barely taking time to breathe before attaching your mouths together once your door was shut. Your obsession with Mingi’s lips had only grown since you started spending most of your free time kissing them.

 His hands were nice, too. They’d gotten a little bit more curious since that day, sometimes giving your hip a gentle squeeze or moving up to your waist while he kissed you. Any noise you’d make would immediately be met with a “sorry” – a constant reminder that no matter how attractive the boy you were making out with was, he was still just the same old Mingi.

 And the little reactions he’d make were precious. He’d gasp when you touched his thighs, he’d hum when you stroked his neck, he’d whimper when you took his plump bottom lip between your teeth. The more you worked him up, the luckier you felt to have been the only person to have ever seen him like this. 

 You wondered how that could be while you sucked his lips. Plenty of girls had crushed on Mingi over the years. You knew because they’d always ask you if you were his girlfriend before they tried to confess to him. No matter how many times you told them you weren’t, he never ended up dating any of them.

 You detached from his lips with a smack. “Mingi?”

 “Mm?” He blinked, eyes slightly glazed over and lips swollen from kisses.

 “Why haven’t you had a girlfriend before?”

 His eyes widened for a split second, and he tried to cover it up by blinking a few times. “Uh… just never met the right person, I guess.”

 “But girls have been throwing themselves at you for years… You didn’t ever want to try anything with them?”

 “Guess I just wanted to wait for someone that I really…” he swallowed. “Trust.”

 That made sense. The thought of doing all of these things with a stranger was horrifying, but you felt safe with Mingi. You smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth.

  “I trust you too, Ming. Wanna try something new?”

 “O-okay, yeah.”

 You tapped his shoulder twice. “Lay down.”

 Like a puppy who’d just been given a command, he lowered himself against your pillows, swinging his legs up so he was laying on the bed. You swung a leg over his hips to straddle them, and his eyes immediately widened. 

 You’d never really taken time to admire how pretty Mingi was. His chest, which was more toned than you’d realized, was swelling and deflating as he attempted to stabilize his breathing. His Adam’s apple dipped as he swallowed, and you’d be stupid to not notice the way his thick thighs tensed and relaxed underneath his black jeans. 

 And then you leaned down, hovering over him to study his face. You ran your thumb over his sharp jaw as you took in his other features; The same darkness in his eyes that wasn’t mysterious, but warm and inviting. The straight line of his nose, the pointed tip of it. The birthmark under his eye, the one on his cheek, the acne scars that dotted his cheeks like stars. Those fucking lips.

 Mingi was really fucking cute. Had he always been?

 You kissed him again, smiling when a little whimper escaped his lips. 

 “Cute,” you mumbled, unaware that the word had left your mouth until it was too late.

 Or maybe it was a good thing that you said it. Mingi’s response was enough to make you think that, at least. He moaned again, louder this time, as he pushed his hips forward against yours. 

 Mingi always got hard during your makeout sessions, but you always pretended not to notice to spare him from any embarrassment. However, pretending not to notice was incredibly difficult with his bulge grinding against your heat.

 He moaned at the stimulation, but quickly interrupted himself. “Ooh-sorry! I’m so sorry, that wasn’t on purpo–”

 You clapped a hand over his mouth. “I told you we have to be quiet.”

 He nodded, eyes wide as your hand stayed pressed to his mouth. You slid it down to rest on his chest when you whispered in his ear. “Don’t be sorry. That’s what I wanted to try.”

 You pushed and pulled your hips against his erection again in one experimental thrust, grinning when his eyes screwed shut and his lips pressed together. You cupped his face to guide his lips to yours again.

 It was as uncoordinated as two virgins could be. Though your lips easily moved together from a week of practice, neither of your hips were skilled enough to set any sort of rhythm. You just desperately grabbed at each other, groping and humping and kissing like your lives depended on it. 

 Soon, you could feel your soaking panties uncomfortably sticking to your core. The fabric gave you the tiniest bit of stimulation, dragging against your clit and ever-so-slightly teasing you. And the boy underneath you was driving you insane, with his messy kisses and his tiny groans. 

 You didn’t know what the end goal was, but you knew that it felt better when you grinded your hips faster, so that’s what you did. 

 “Ah-” You silenced Mingi’s moan by pressing your mouth to his again, sighing as he hummed against your lips.

 And then he whimpered your name. He’d said your name a thousand times before, but he’d never said it like this. Like it was a cry for help, a desperate plea for something. The sound fueled the fire of your desperation as you continued moving your hips, hoping to God that he’d say it again.

 And he did. You attached your lips to his neck and he whined your name once more, followed by a tiny breath of, “O-oh, god…”

 His little sounds were getting better and better. Your name slipped past his lips between breathy whimpers and choked hums, and you kept licking and sucking his neck while you grinded your clothed, soaking pussy against his painfully hard, just as clothed dick.

 Finally, you took pity on the poor thing. His moans were getting increasingly desperate, and you could tell that he was doing everything in his power to keep them quiet. You hovered your lips directly over his ear.

 “What’s wrong, baby?”

 “A-ah-mph!” He squeezed his eyes shut as he writhed on the bed, pressing his hand to his mouth to keep his pathetic noises in. His whole body was shaking when you sat up.

 A wet patch on the crotch of his jeans made the dark fabric even darker, and a horrified expression washed over his face as your eyes immediately landed on it. If he would’ve looked between your legs, he would’ve noticed that your shorts were just as soaked, but he didn’t. He only saw your dumbfounded expression as you tried to figure out what you were supposed to say. All that came out was, “D-did you just…?”

 You just made a boy cum. From kissing. This had to have been the best day of your life. 

 “I’m sorry,” he breathed, pushing you off of him. He immediately stood up, locating his jacket on your desk and holding it in front of his pants as he slid his bag over his shoulder. “I’m… I’m sorry.” He looked down the whole time, never letting his eyes meet yours as he slipped his way out of your bedroom door. 

 “Mingi!” you called two seconds too late. “You’re not going to–” 

 You sighed, letting your voice get quiet. “Help me?”

 He didn’t come back, leaving you with soaking panties and an unsatiated pulsing between your legs that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. 

You texted him the next morning.

 It’s not a big deal, Ming. Do you want to come over?

 He didn’t respond. You went the whole weekend without hearing from him, and even when you waited for him at your usual spot on Monday, he didn’t show. You sent him another text. 

 Stop being stupid. I miss you.

 He didn’t respond to that, either. By Tuesday, you were so anxious to see him that you waited outside his lecture hall after his morning class, scanning the crowd of faces for him. He wasn’t difficult to find; his tall frame easily distinguished him from the rest of the crowd, even with his shoulders slouched. He made eye contact with you and immediately put his head down, walking faster. 

 “Mingi!” You yelled, weaving through the crowd to follow him. 

 His pace quickened, his long legs carrying him out of the brick building and through the grassy common area, skillfully dodging flying frisbees and strategically-hung Enos. 

 “Mingi! This…” you panted. “This isn’t fair! Your legs are longer than mine!”

 He flinched with each call of his name, but he didn’t turn around. He didn’t slow down. You picked up your pace to a jog, huffing as you tried to catch up to him. “MINGI! Stop fucking ignoring me!”

 After quickening your steps to a borderline sprint, you finally got close enough to grab the handle of his backpack, yanking him backwards and causing both of you to collapse on the lawn in the process. 

 “Ow…” he whined, rubbing his butt and attempting to brush grass off of it.

 “You…” you breathed. “You fucking suck. Why aren’t you talking to me?”

 “W-What do you want me to say? What the hell am I supposed to say after humiliating myself like that?”

 “I told you it wasn’t a big deal, stupid! I wanted to make you feel good!”

 His ears burned as he looked at you with wide eyes, a mixture of embarrassment and shock painting his face. 

 “And you… you didn’t even stay and help me. I was more turned on than I’ve ever been in my life, and you just got up and left! Right after I helped you finish! Who the fuck does that?”

 “I…” he breathed, trying not to pass out. He made you more turned on than you’d ever been in your life? “I didn’t think you wanted me to…”

 “You didn’t think I wanted to feel good, too?”

 “No!” he stammered, “No, I just… I didn’t think, I mean, I thought you would think I was gross.”

 You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Mingi, the entire point of having sex is to feel good. I didn’t think you were gross, I was jealous of you.”

 And see, that was where he fundamentally disagreed with you. As far as Mingi was concerned, the entire point of having sex was to be intimate with someone you love. Feeling good was just a bonus. 

 He loved you so fucking much. Knowing that you didn’t feel the same way about him made his chest physically ache, but he knew that you needed him, and that was more than he could have hoped for. If you didn’t love him, at least you could love the way he made you feel. 

 “I’ll make it up to you next time,” he assured you. “I promise I’m gonna make you feel good.”

 Your smile reappeared, and he felt like he’d been hit by a train.

 “Yeah,” you laughed, punching his shoulder. “You better. Wanna try that new boba place?”

The boba was mid, but it was nice to just be in Mingi’s presence again. He crumpled his straw wrapper as he told you about his weekend, how his mom’s birthday was coming up, and how things were getting more serious between Yunho and his girlfriend. 

 You liked the sound of his voice. You remembered when it used to crack all the time in middle school, but it had since balanced out into a smooth baritone, cascading your ears in warmth. 

 “Are you listening to me?”

 “What? Yes.” 

 “No, you’re not,” he scoffed. ”You’ve been staring at my lips for the past five minutes.” 

 “Yeah, because you have foam on them.”

 He immediately wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his ears flushing a bright red as he mumbled a disingenuous “fuck you.”

 The foam was only a scapegoat. You both knew how much you loved his lips. 

 “Speaking of fuck you…” You shifted in your metal chair. “When… when are we going to… you know…”

 “What?”

 “You know…” You looked to the side, your eyes widening. 

 His heartrate doubled. “Oh. Um… I don’t know. Was there… did you have a specific time in mind?”

 “Sorry, didn’t realize I needed to make an appointment,” you laughed. “I don’t know. I just… I want to. Soon.”

 He remembered your words. Get it over with. 

 “Okay,” he nodded. “We can. Soon.”

 You picked up his hand that was resting on the table to play with his fingers, pinching them between your smaller ones while you chewed on a ball of sweet tapioca. 

 He swallowed and watched you, his eyes glazing over. I love you, I love you, I love you.

 Your stomach dropped a bit when you met his starry eyes. You didn’t know why.

Two days later and you had Mingi underneath you again, his hands gripping your waist while you sucked on those perfect lips. 

 “Gonna make you feel good this time…” he whispered, trying to catch his breath between your feverish kisses. “Promise.”

 You just rested your hand on the back of his neck and sighed.

 “Can I… Is it okay if I take your shirt off?” He asked, his face a deep shade of red. 

 “Yeah,” you breathed. “It’s okay.”

 But he didn’t move, so you tugged on the hem of your shirt and lifted it off yourself. His breath caught in his throat when he saw your half-naked torso, covered by nothing but a slightly too tight purple bra that you got on clearance a few years ago.

 He shakily brushed a fingertip over the little bow in the center of it.

 Your face felt so hot you were sure water would boil if someone rested a pot on your cheek.

 “Can you… take your shirt off, too? This feels weird.” You covered your torso with your arms.

 “O-oh, yeah,” he nodded. “I’m sorry. Yeah.”

 You scooted back so that he could sit up, his trembling hands lifting his shirt over his head.

 His chest was flushed red. That was the first thing you noticed. And his belly was lean, but also soft and smooth, puffing and deflating with his shallow breath. 

 You rested a hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. He just watched you.

 “We’re not kids anymore…” you whispered. There was a sad tone to your words, almost as if you were grieving.

 “No,” Mingi shook his head, his voice barely audible. “We’re not.”

 It was a beautifully horrifying realization. The kid you used to make mud soup with was a man now, and he was touching you like you’d never been touched before.

 You kissed him then. To comfort him, to comfort yourself, to be closer to the person who already knew you better than anyone in the universe.

 You unclasped your bra and just let it loosely rest on top of your chest.

 “Hey,” Mingi whispered, “Just me, remember?”

 Right. Just Mingi. 

 You tossed your bra to the side, instinctively covering your boobs with your hands.

 “Please…” Mingi placed his hands over yours. “I want to see you.”

 He sighed when you removed your hands, just as slowly.

 “Pretty…” he mumbled. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

 You nodded and he ran his hands over the lines on your sides where your bra had been digging into your skin. You cursed yourself for not buying a new one before this. Maybe he’d like one of those silk push-up bras you always saw your friends wearing, or perhaps one of those flimsy lace bralettes that you saw in the windows at Victoria’s Secret last week.

 “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and the insecurity in your stomach almost vanished completely. Almost. 

 He leaned forward, cupping one of your tits in his huge hand and gently kissing the other. You gasped when you felt his wet tongue drag across your nipple, and he looked up at you for reassurance while you laced your fingers through his hair. 

 “Does that feel good?”

 “Yes,” you breathed. “Y-yeah, that feels good….”

 He gently latched his mouth to your nipple, sucking and then running his soft tongue over the flesh to soothe it. You didn’t mean to, but you arched your back, and his free hand found a place in the dip of your waist.

 You subconsciously tugged on his hair as he sucked your other nipple. He worshipped your tits, kissing, sucking, and licking them while you quietly moaned, grinding against his erection. You wanted to let him continue all night, but soon,  the pulsing between your thighs started to become unbearable. 

 “Ming… need you to fuck me,” you whispered. “Please.”

 He pulled back a bit, his plump lips glossy and his adam’s apple dipping as he swallowed.

 “Okay.”

 He didn’t move and you didn’t, either. You just looked at each other, breathing heavy though you’d hardly done anything yet.

 “... Nobody’s ever seen me naked before,” he said under his breath.

 You shook your head. “Me neither.”

 He kissed you again, but it was really just so that you wouldn’t watch him while he took his pants off. And you weren’t sure what you were doing, you weren’t sure why, but once both of your pants were off, you reached a hand down and felt him through the thin fabric of his boxers.

 He took in a sharp inhale. 

 “I’m sorry,” you said, “Is this okay?”

 And then you felt a large hand between your thighs, softly rubbing you through your panties.

 It felt so much different from when you did it to yourself. More pleasurable, sure, but also more vulnerable. More intense.

 Neither of you knew what to say. You felt how hard he was against your hand. He felt the little wet patch soaking through your panties. You both needed this desperately, and yet for a few moments, nobody moved. 

 “Y-you can take them off of me.” Your voice was barely above a whisper and it cracked in the middle, but you were proud of yourself for getting the words out. 

 His hands shook when he slid them down your thighs. Before he could stare for too long, you slid your fingers under the waistband of his boxers and pushed them down. 

 You weren’t sure if he was big or not. You’d never seen a penis in real life before, only in porn, and he looked about the same size as what you’d seen in porn. Did that mean he was big?

 He looked down, and you realized you were staring. “Sorry,” you stammered, forcing yourself to look him in the eye again. 

 “N-no, it’s okay. Is it… I mean, do you like it?”

 Your face broke into a smile. Mingi, Mingi, Mingi. “Yes, it’s  lovely, Ming. Stop stressing.”

 You reached for a condom on your nightstand, closely inspecting the foil packet for instructions. 

 “I think I can do it,” he mumbled, gently taking the condom out of your hand.

 “You know how to?”

 “I think so.”

 After a few minutes of him fumbling with the latex, his lips were on yours again and you could feel his dick resting on your thigh. 

 “Are you ready?” He pulled back for a moment to look you in the eye.

 “M-mhm,” you nodded.

 He kissed your cheek and held his dick in his hand, aligning himself. A painful stretching sensation flooded your lower half as his thick tip poked at your entrance. 

 He inhaled shakily. “C-can I… can I push it in now?”

 You nodded. “I… think so? Y-yeah… go ahead…”

 He pushed his hips forward, and the sensation intensified when you felt his tip enter you with a pop. The pain was excruciating, unlike anything you’d ever felt before. A horrid stretch, almost like a burn, splitting you open in the worst way. Tears pricked into your eyes.

 “OW! Ow, ow, ow, stop, stop, stop!” You pushed his broad shoulders away, whimpering when he frantically pulled out. That hurt, too.

 “O-oh my god, are you okay? What did I- D-did I do something wrong?”

 You looked down at his dick, which was still fully hard. He was big, you supposed. Really big. With his cock resting on your stomach, it went all the way up to your belly button. You felt stupid for thinking you could take him without any prep.

 And you also felt embarrassed. This wasn’t how your first time was supposed to go. This didn’t happen in porn. You were supposed to be screaming his name, he was supposed to be groaning yours and pounding you into the mattress. You were supposed to be making him feel good, and he was supposed to be doing the same for you. A lump formed in your throat and you attempted to blink the tears out of your eyes, which probably just made them more teary. 

 “No,” you breathed. “I think… I don’t think I’m wet enough.”

 He frowned. “Did we not kiss for long enough?”

 “No, no, we did.” Guilt crept into your chest. You knew this wasn’t how he pictured his first time going, either. 

 His frown intensified as a pained look washed over his face. “Are you not… is it because you’re not attracted to me?”

 “Stop it, Mingi. It’s not for any reason. You didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s just… we can get lube from the store and try again tomorrow, okay? I can jerk you off to help you finish if you want.”

 His heart ached. He didn’t want you to ‘help him finish.’ He wanted to make love to you, soft and tender and slow. He wanted to hold your face and kiss your forehead and tell you how much you meant to him.

 But his dick was painfully hard, and there aren’t many times that the love of your life offers to help you finish even though they don’t feel the same way about you, so he said, “Yes, please.”

 You wrapped your fingers around his erection, biting your cheek to stop yourself from crying. He bit his lip to do the same.

Mingi couldn’t make eye contact with the cashier when he bought lube from the drug store the next day. His hands shook as he put his card into the reader, and they kept shaking while he entered his pin number. The machine dinged and he yanked his card out, snatching the plastic bag from the cashier before they had time to offer him a receipt. His face burned the entire walk to your dorm and didn’t stop burning once he got there.

 His breath caught in his throat when you opened the door. “I got the…” he held the plastic bag up. “I got the stuff.”

 You laughed and stepped back to let him inside. “You make it sound like we’re about to do drugs.”

 Yeah, something like that.

 Mingi didn’t say anything when you sat him on your bed and straddled his hips. He whimpered a little bit when you pressed your lips to his, and you assumed that it was just because he was horny. 

 You held the side of his neck and worked your tongue against his, rolling your hips forward to grind against his growing bulge. He whimpered again, and you moved your face down to suck on his neck. 

 “I think you need to finger me first,” you whispered in his ear.

 “W-what?” He blinked up at you for a moment, his eyes wide and starry before he shyly looked away. “I’ve never… I mean… I don’t know how to do that.”

 “It can’t be that hard, right? You just take your fingers and, like… put them in me.”

 “I think it’s a little more complicated than that.”

 “Well… I’ll just tell you what feels good, okay? I do it to myself all the time.”

 His eyes snapped up again as he imagined you touching yourself. He’d thought about it before, late at night when he was jerking off, but hearing you say it out loud made him feel dizzy. Flames erupted across his cheeks again, and his body tensed.

 Your face burned with the realization of your confession. “Stop picturing it.”

 “S-sorry.”

 “I just need your fingers first, okay? I can’t… I can’t take your dick without some prep first.”

 It was like you wanted him to cum in his pants again. He nodded and reached for the plastic bag, fishing out the lube and taking it out of its little purple box. 

 “I’m sorry about yesterday, by the way.” His voice was quiet.

 “There’s nothing to be sorry about. That’s why we’re doing this together, you know? Because we feel safe around each other.”

 He nodded.

 “But for the record…” You lowered your head, still embarrassed about how yesterday went. “I’m sorry, too.”

 “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He smiled.

 You kissed him, and you were so glad that you were kissing him. 

 “I’m really going to need you to walk me through this because I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.” His cheeks were a splotchy red. 

 You laughed. “I promise it sounds scarier than it actually is.” You pulled your shirt over your head, embarrassed again when you realized you were wearing the same purple bra that you wore yesterday.

 “Shit,” you breathed. “I meant to wear something nicer for you today. Sorry.”

 For me? Mingi thought. For me? 

 But he said, “I like this one. It’s cute.” And he touched the little bow again.

 “Thanks.” You climbed off of his lap to take your shorts off. “Lift your arms.”

 He obeyed, and you lifted his shirt over his head. It didn’t need to be off yet, you supposed, but you’d been dreaming about Mingi’s lean abdomen all day and you didn’t want to wait another second to have it under your fingertips again. 

 You laid down on the bed and slid your panties off, but didn’t spread your legs yet. You felt vulnerable again, especially considering that Mingi still had his pants on. 

 “C-can you–” you started.

 “Yeah,” Mingi nodded, already unbuttoning his pants. When they were off, he sat back down and gently brushed his fingertips over your thigh. 

 “Okay,” he breathed. “Tell me what to do.”

 “Just… just kiss me for a second.” The truth was, you weren’t even really sure how to give him instructions, and you wanted to buy yourself some time. You usually just felt around until something felt good, and you weren’t sure how to explain that to him.

 He kissed you. You decided that even if he was always too big for you, even if you couldn’t ever take his full length, you’d probably be just as happy kissing him and jerking him off like you did last night.

 You felt his hand on your inner thigh and you liked the feeling. 

 “Okay, so…” you inhaled deeply. “Just start with one. And you can just kinda… feel around? I’ll tell you what feels good.”

 “Okay,” he nodded, taking a deep breath, too. “Okay.”

 He dripped some of the lube onto his fingers, rubbing it with his thumb in an attempt to warm it up. Your body tensed as you felt his finger slide between your folds, shaking slightly as he rubbed you up and down.

 He seemed to stop breathing for a moment. His eyes just raked over your body, all wide and starry while he clumsily touched you. 

 “You’re gorgeous,” he breathed. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

 “M-Mingi, Ah-” You let out a tiny yelp when his fingertip brushed your clit.

 “Did I hurt you?” He immediately stopped, taking his fingers away. 

 “N-no, that felt good… really good…” You nodded. 

 He tried to find the spot again, clumsily drawing circles around it.

 “S-so good. Yeah, r-right there,” you sighed.

 His fingertip slipped a little too far to the left. 

 “N-no, back where it was.”

 After a few seconds of “Here?” and “No, here,” back and forth, he found the spot again and gently traced it. 

 Your eyes rolled back and closed as your body twitched, trying to get used to the sensation of being touched by another person. 

 Then his fingers slid further down, but it was intentional this time. 

 Mingi looked you in the eye and didn’t say anything as he gently circled his fingertip around your opening, coating it in lube and spreading your arousal at the same time. 

 You didn’t say anything, either. You couldn’t if you tried. But he understood your tiny nod and the look of desperation in your eyes, so he gently pushed his finger inside. 

 His long, thick finger went deeper than your own ever had, but it didn’t hurt. “O-ohh,” you breathed, shivering.

 Mingi was at a loss for words. Your pussy was hugging his finger so tight and you felt so warm and the tiny noises that you were making were about to send him over the edge. “Fuck…” he sharply inhaled through his teeth, staring up at the ceiling for a minute so that he didn’t cum untouched.

 “M-Mingi,” you breathed, “Go like this.” And then you held a finger up and curved it inward, and he immediately obeyed.

 Your back arched to a borderline uncomfortable degree as you let out a pathetic little noise, and Mingi seriously was on the edge of an orgasm already.

 “I-is that a sensitive spot?”

 “Do it again,” you commanded. “Mingi, do that again.”

 He did, and then he did it a few more times, pumping his finger and setting a rhythm. You were probably being a little too squirmy, but you couldn’t help it. Nothing had ever felt like this before. 

 “Fuck,” you breathed. “Add another one.”

 Mingi meant to ask ‘Are you sure?’ but his head was so fuzzy with arousal that he just obeyed, pushing his middle finger in next to his pointer finger.

 “S-shit,” you gasped, sitting up and holding his wrist. “Hold on a sec– fuck.”

 “Are you okay?”

 “It feels good,” you nodded. “Just forgot how thick these are.”

 He understood. He could almost feel you stretching out, and he suddenly felt horribly guilty for not offering to do this before he attempted to put his dick inside of you yesterday.

 “You’re doing amazing,” he encouraged you, nodding slightly. “J-just let me know when you want more, okay?”

 “C-can you…” You blushed, too shy to complete your sentence. 

 He knit his eyebrows at you, giving you an encouraging nod. He felt your pussy tighten around his fingers, and he tried not to groan.

 “What do you need, baby?” He soothed, “Just tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”

 Your face burned. Mingi had never been more attractive to you, with his lips swollen and his cheeks flaming and his fingers deep inside of you. He was gently thrusting his fingers, massaging your g-spot, tracing your opening, and stretching you out all in a fluid motion.

 “C-can you play with my clit again while you do that?” You whispered. 

 He nodded immediately, smiling and circling his thumb around your pebbled clit. 

 “O-ohh…” you moaned, burying your face in his neck. “Oh my god…”

 He swallowed roughly. “G-good…” He encouraged as he felt you slowly relax around his fingers.

 Your back arched, tiny little whimpers escaping you as Mingi made love to you with his hand. 

 And he was barely holding it together. He could feel the tip of his dick sticking to his boxers, precum smearing against the fabric and providing his cockhead with the tiniest bit of friction every time he moved his hips. 

 “Do you want one more? Or are you good with two?” His voice was hoarse. 

 “I d-on’t—“ You inhaled sharply, eyes closing as you felt the tiny spark of an orgasm in your core. “D-don’t think I can take a third…”

 Mingi nodded, and then he kissed your forehead. He wanted to speak, but he was putting all of his effort into keeping up a steady rhythm with his hand and not coming in his pants while your tensed thigh rubbed his dick. 

 And then it was silent for a few moments, except for the quiet squelching coming from between your legs every few seconds. 

 “I think I’m gonna cum.” You whispered, keeping your eyes closed. Focusing on that feeling, chasing it.

 Mingi swallowed, his breath catching. “Mm.” He hummed. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

 Your breath caught in your throat, the rest of it escaping in a choked whimper. “F-faster…” You breathed, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Please.”

 He nodded, quickening his movements. You leaned up, catching his lips in a messy kiss as you got closer and closer.

 You were quieter than you thought you’d be. As your orgasm approached, you hardly made any noise at all, save for a few little gasps. 

 Your mouth dropped open and you pressed your forehead to your lover’s, letting out one single moan as your orgasm clenched down on his fingers. It ran through your body in waves, your muscles tensing and releasing rhythmically.

 “My god…” Mingi groaned, continuing his movements. “G-Good job, baby.”

 You squeaked, gently pushing his hand away as you neared overstimulation. His brows furrowed as he worried that he’d hurt you, but you immediately eased his anxiety by holding the back of his neck and pressing your lips to his again.

 “Felt so good…” You mumbled through kisses. “T-think I’m ready now…”

 His heart fluttered as he felt your hand between his legs, stroking his sensitive thighs. And then he looked at you in a way that a boy had never looked at you before, with big, dark, sparkling, pleading eyes. Like he needed you.

 So gently, like you were afraid he’d break, you slipped his dick out of his blue plaid boxers. He was so hard, so sticky and pulsing that you were sure he must have been in pain. “Thank you for making me feel good,” you whispered. “I know it must have been hard to wait…”

 He shook his head, closing his eyes. “Don’t thank me.” He let out a tiny noise as you stroked him once. “I loved it,” he breathed. “I loved doing that for you.”

 You smiled, kissing him again. “Take these off,” you pleaded, tugging at the waistband of his boxers. 

 Mingi pushed them down, kicking them off the bed at his feet. And then he was fully naked, hovering above you, also fully naked. It should have been scary, but you’d never felt more safe. You reached your arms behind him, stroking his back before sliding your hands down to teasingly squeeze his ass.

 He let out a choked noise and you laughed. “Sorry, I’ve always wanted to do that. You have a really nice ass.”

 He shook his head, laughing and kissing you again.

 “You’re really beautiful, Mingi.” You whispered, feeling another pang in your core as he groaned at the praise. 

 He reached a hand up, squeezing your breast as he kissed you and kissed you and kissed you. His heavy cock rested on your belly, clear precum sticking to your soft skin. 

 You reached for the condom on the nightstand, carefully ripping it open. His eyes didn’t leave your face as you gently rolled it onto him, your small hand wrapping around his girth. You slid his tip between your folds, then coated it in even more lube. You knew it might still hurt a little bit, but you felt much more prepared for it this time. 

 “The second it starts to hurt,” he whispered, his voice raspy. “You tell me.”

 You nodded. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes, and didn’t look away when his tip was aligned with your entrance. 

 But his eyes fluttered shut a bit when he slipped inside. He couldn’t help it.

 Your gasp made him open his eyes again. “Are you okay?”

 “Mmh–” You nodded, your voice high pitched and squeaky. He pushed forward, filling you, stretching you, making you his.

 “Mingi…” You whined, tears blurring your vision. “S-so big…”

 He kissed away the first tear that fell. “I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered, “Y-You’re doing so well.”

 He stilled for a moment, allowing you to adjust to his length. 

 “Is it…” You looked up at him with teary eyes. “Is it all the way in yet?”

 “Not yet.” His eyes were full of empathy and adoration. “Can you take any more? It’s okay if you can’t.”

 You whimpered. “S’big, Mingi.”

 “I know, baby, I know it’s big. Does it feel good? D-Does it hurt?”

 “It feels…” you trailed off. “It feels good but it hurts. I dunno if I can take any more.”

 “That’s okay,” he nodded, kissing your forehead. “You feel s-so good just like this.”

 “R-really?”

 “Yes,” he nodded. “You feel amazing. So… so fucking good.” He gritted his teeth as he spoke, shaking and sweating and forcing himself to not instinctively start fucking you hard and fast. “Can I move a little bit now?”

 “Yes,” you nodded. “Slow, please.”

 He pulled back so that only the very end of his tip was dipped into your opening, then shakily pushed forward in a single stroke, a little over three quarters of the way inside. 

 Tears stung his and your eyes. You felt better than anything he’d ever felt before, and the stretching sensation was starting to feel more pleasant than painful. 

 “I’m so…” he whimpered. “I’m so proud of you. You’re taking me so well.”

 “Mingi…” you whined in response, clawing at his back. “F-feels good.”

 “Yeah?” His eyes met yours. “It feels good?”

 “Mmm. I want… want you to fuck me. B-but slow, okay?”

 He visibly shivered, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as his whole body became covered in goosebumps. 

 “T-tell me if it’s too much.”

 He attempted to set a pace then, slowly pushing and pulling his hips to halfway-fuck you as gently as he possibly could. Little moans slipped from your lips in time with his thrusts.

 “Ungh…” he whimpered, “God. F-feels so good. You’re so…” his eyebrows furrowed. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

 “Mingi…” You rested your hand on his cheek. “Kiss.”

 He didn’t need to be told twice. His perfectly full lips gently kissed yours, softly massaging his tongue into your mouth while he slowly pumped his cock in and out of you. You were embarrassed that you couldn’t take his whole length yet, but you decided in that moment that this wouldn’t be the last time you did this with him, and you had all the time in the world to train for the entirety of him. 

 “Fuck…” he repeated, resting his forehead against yours. “I’m… I’m close. I’m sorry.”

 “You are?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him, a moan slipping from your lips when his thrusts got a bit faster. 

 That was fast, you thought, but it was his first time, you supposed. You hoped he had good stamina, because you didn’t want this night to be anywhere close to over.

 “I c-can’t…” His hips were starting to shake a bit. “God, you feel so good. Squeezing me so tight.”

 “Ming…” you whispered, holding his face. “I wanna make you cum. Want you to cum for me.”

 “Oh, fuck…” he whimpered. “God, f-fuck-“

 His voice cracked as his eyes squeezed shut, his belly tensing and his lips dropping open in a silent moan. 

 And for a few seconds, time didn’t exist. There was only him and you and your bodies, like this was how you were always meant to be. You felt his big hand on your waist and his thick length stretching you out, but you also felt that same comforting atmosphere that always followed him around. You saw his face, the one that you knew so well, contorted in pleasure, and you heard his familiar voice making unfamiliar noises. And there was no one in the world you’d rather do this with. There was no one else you wanted to kiss. 

 “I love you.”

 He cried out as he came, curling in on himself and burying his face in your neck as he pulled out so just his tip was inside, pumping the condom full of his load. 

 He pulled out and rested his cock on your belly, huffing in your neck as he caught his breath. 

 You stroked his hair and swallowed, a lump forming in your throat. 

 You said it. You told him out loud and you’d never be able to take it back. 

 He just kept breathing down your neck, sweaty and shaking and wondering if he heard you right. 

 “I– I tried not to…” you breathed. “I tried so hard not to fall in love with you. You’re my best friend and you mean more to me than anyone else. But I just…” 

 You swallowed. There was really no going back now. 

 “I see you smiling and it hits me like a steamroller. Like my chest is knocked in and I can’t breathe. It feels… It feels like I’m suffocating and I don’t know how to stop it or make it go away.”  

 You felt his large hand hold your jaw, and his lips were on yours. 

 “Please… be my girlfriend,” he mumbled, breathless between kisses.

 You pulled back to look in his eyes. “What?”

 “I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. Please, please, please be my girlfriend.”

 Your face broke a little bit. “You have?”

 He nodded, and then his face broke, too. “Please say yes.” He held your face, looking deep into your eyes. “P-please, baby.”

 “Obviously yes,” you smiled, tears so close to spilling from your eyes. “Dummy.”

 “I love you,” he cried, kissing you again. “I love you so fucking much.”

 “Mingi,” you breathed, for no reason other than to say his name. 

 He kissed you and cried and you kissed him and cried, and he suddenly remembered what Yunho said. A nice way to show her I really care. 

 He kissed down your neck, across your chest, on your nipples, over your belly, until his shoulders were between your thighs.

 “W-what are you doing?” You asked, looking down at him a little too innocently.

 “I don’t really know,” he sighed, leaning forward and kissing your dewy pussy.

 “A-ah! Mingi!” Your legs instinctively closed around his head, and his big hands gently pried them open again. 

 “It’s okay…” he breathed, leaning forward again. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m not gonna hurt you.” He sweetly kissed your inner thigh before spreading you with his tongue.

 You whimpered and squirmed, grabbing a fistful of his soft dark hair. 

 “You sound so pretty,” he mumbled, kissing your clit, “And you taste so good…”

 His thick, plump lips worked with his velvet tongue to worship your pussy. And it was loud, the room filled with wet sounds and Mingi’s groans, along with the pathetic little moans you were letting out. 

 You looked down at him. His ears and cheeks were dark red, his eyes closed, the sharp tip of his nose shiny and wet. 

 “T-that feels really good, Ming—“ You were interrupted by your own gasp as his tongue slipped into your entrance. 

 “You’re mine now…” His deep voice sounded gravelly and thick. “You’re all fucking mine…”

 “Mingi…” You whimpered, lacing your fingers through his hair as his lips sweetly sucked your clit. How did you learn how to do this? You wanted to ask. 

 But he was moaning against you again before the thought could finish. “I’m gonna do this every fuckin’ day…” He blinked slowly, a string of drool connecting his lips and your pussy. He used his broad shoulders to push your legs open even wider, taking a deep breath before diving back in. 

 This time, he slipped two fingers inside of you while he worked his tongue. He closed his eyes, enjoying the taste of you while he passionately used his fingers and tongue. 

 “I’ve dreamed of this…” He paused to kiss your inner thighs. “Wanted this for so long… needed to know what you tasted like.”

 “Mingi…” You breathed, watching as his pink tongue drew circles around your clit. “I-I’m gonna cum again…”

 “Yes,” he groaned, never coming up for air. “Please, baby. Come in my mouth. I wanna taste all of it, please… wanna lick you clean.”

 Hearing those filthy words come from shy, sweet Mingi’s mouth made your stomach flutter. Your thighs clenched around his head as he gave you the most enthusiastic slurp of the night, the otherwise silent room filled with the sounds of his mouth devouring you. 

 You moaned so loud when you came that there was no doubt in your mind that your roommates heard. Mingi’s groans of enthusiasm were hardly muted, either. 

 Your thighs twitched, your body shook and your hips pressed against Mingi’s warm mouth as your orgasm consumed you, and you’d never felt more adored in your life.

 And then he didn’t stop. 

 “Mingi!” You cried out, trying to squirm away from his tongue. 

 But he looped his arm under one of your thighs, keeping you pried open. He used his other hand to spread your pussy, groaning as he licked it again. 

 “My girl…” He mumbled, and he seemed to be drunk off the taste of you, talking to himself. “Such a pretty fuckin’ pussy…” 

 Your eyes widened and you twitched as his tongue flicked inside of you again. You’d never seen this side of Mingi before; you’d never seen anything close to this side of Mingi before… and you really, really didn’t want it to stop. But—

 “I’m really sensitive, Ming…”

 That seemed to snap him out of his trance a bit. He looked up, moving his body up to sweetly kiss your lips again. “I’m sorry, baby. You j-just…” He sighed, catching his breath. “You taste so good.”

 You smiled. “I really like it when you call me baby.”

 He kissed your forehead then collapsed on the bed, laying next to you. You rolled onto your side, gently stroking his belly. 

 “Do you feel good?” He asked softly, his full cheeks blushing. “Was that enough?”

 “Enough?” You laughed in disbelief. “It was perfect.” You nodded. “Perfect.”

 “I’ll always make sure you’re satisfied, okay?” Your boyfriend looked you in the eye, his brow slightly furrowed. “A-and I’ll always make sure you’re taken care of. I’ll make sure your belly is always full and your shoes never get dirty.”

 A kiss on his chin, your face in his neck. “It’s just me, Mingi. Just you and me.”

 “Just us…” He mumbled, “Just like always.”

 You nodded and then sat in silence, touching and being touched. He stroked your thigh with his pinky, his eyes on your lips. 

 “In our own little world. Just the two of us.”

[sebscore]

MEET CUTE WITH THE GUY ON THE BUS | MICK S. 

pairing: mick schumacher x fem!reader

warnings: just fluff + i still dont know how to write endings so until i have figured that out, you are gonna have to deal with it :) 

author's note: based on this tiktok !! thought it was such a cute idea for a fic and mickolas was the perfect person for this- such a mama's boy!! 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

Sending telepathic messages to cute guys on the bus wasn't her usual routine, often staring out the large windows and observing the busy streets of the large city, but here she was.  

She took the bus regularly enough to know that the broad shouldered blond, who was showing his mother something on his phone, wasn't someone that took the public transport vehicle as much as she did.  

Y/N had been eyeing him the moment he stepped on, holding what she assumed was his mother's rather big and heavy handbag. 

Unfortunately for her, the young man wasn't glancing back at her. It wasn't a huge deal, she wasn't expecting him to get up from his seat and declare his undying love for her, but some sort of acknowledgement from the guy would have fed her delusions that would have her dreaming about him for at least a week. 

Her stop was getting nearby so she stationed herself closer to the exit doors, strongly grabbing onto the metal pole for stabilisation. The young woman increased the volume of her phone, the voice of Lana Del Rey blasting through her earphones. 

Y/N was deep into 'Cinnamon Girl', imagining herself to be in a music video, when a gentle tap on her shoulder made her turn around with force- flinching due to the sudden touch. Big blue orbs stared into her own eyes that had widened as a result of the surprising disturbance. 

It was the cute guy she had been shamelessly checking out from the moment he hopped on. 

''Uhm, can- oh.'' She had started speaking, but interrupted herself once she noticed him holding his phone out to her, his notes app displayed on the screen. 

You are beautiful. 

The mystery man had written out, a blush forming on his cheeks and ears as she read it, mouthing the words. Her eyes flickered from his phone back to him. ''Me?'' She took out her wired earphones, pausing her music. 

''Yes.'' He giggled, closing his phone and placing it back in his pocket. 

''Oh my- I thought you were so beautiful.'' Y/N replied back, getting a small squeal out of his mother who stood behind him. 

Her response had him grow shy, unable to form a processed answer back for her. However, the bus stopped and the doors opened. There was this tense air for a second that quickly disappeared once they realised they were getting off on the same stop. 

The three of them walked out of the bus, his mother staying a little behind her son- giving the flustered pair their space. 

The blond seemed too shy to tell her anything so Y/N took the first step. ''It was, uh, nice to meet you.'' In her head, this would be the end of their ''meet cute''. This is the part where they split and never see each other again- becoming a ''what if'' scenario. 

''Yeah, you too.'' He stuttered out. 

''Bye, have a nice day.'' She bid them goodbye, walking towards the direction of her home. The slightly disappointed woman put on her earphones again, re-starting her song- while texting her best friend about the interaction that just happened. 

Corinna bumped her shoulder with her son's. ''What are you doing, Mick? Go after her.'' She exclaimed, surprised he just stood still in his place. 

''I don't know, Mama.'' Mick doubted himself despite the obvious mutual infatuation with the young woman he had met. 

She grabbed her handbag from him and gave him a small, but effective push towards the girl. ''Go get her name and phone number! You're going to regret it otherwise.'' She hyped him up, knowing it would be a missed opportunity. 

Mick got a rush of adrenaline through his body as his mother gassed him up, chasing the woman down the street. He stopped in front of her, halting Y/N in her tracks and started speaking before the realisation of what he was doing caught up with him. ''Sorry, I just- can I have your name and maybe your phone number?'' He breathed out. 

The woman in front of him chuckled at his out-of-breath state. ''Yeah, I'm Y/N.'' She smiled, making him even more flustered. 

''I'm Mick.'' He introduced himself, shyly looking down at the ground. 

''So Mick, you want my number as well?'' His red face gave her a bit more confidence, asking the question with a grin on her face. 

He nodded, pulling his phone from his pocket. ''Only if you want to, of course.'' He added quickly, not wanting to come across as demanding. 

''I do.'' With her consent, Mick opened his contacts app and handed his phone over to her. She typed in her number, dubbing herself as 'Girl on the bus' on the display name. 

''Thank you,'' Mick dreamily looked at her contact details, ''I, uh, hope to see you again.'' He admitted. 

''Yeah, me too.'' Y/N beamed. She couldn't help but keep glancing at his face, his blue eyes practically asking to be admired. 

Corinna eventually caught up with them, giving her son a teasing look. ''It's very nice to meet you and hopefully, I'll see you soon.'' The older woman told Y/N, Mick's face turning even more red as his mother embarrassed him. 

''It's very nice to meet you too.'' 

[lovemyromance]

SJM: I thought it was obvious??

AKA - No analysis needed. The clues are there. Things are already happening.

Please keep your 80 page PowerPoints and highlighted words from your “8 books of canon” (none of which are actually from ACOTAR, btw) to yourself.

“I thought it was obvious” = no deep dives needed. No extrapolation or analysis necessary. The words are already on the page. You don’t have to work harder than SJM to come up with your own theories (*cough* see HOFAS crazy hype theories vs actual book)

“I thought it was obvious”

The ONLY couple currently mutually attracted to each other is Elriel. They have had moments since ACOMF. ACOSF did not end them, it gave them the setup for the next book. They are set up for the greatest tortured forbidden romance of the series, how can you dispute that? Why would you WANT to dispute that love story? I don’t want ACOSF 2.0 which was all physical and no substance. I want an angsty, slow forbidden romance. I want to fall in love when the characters fall in love. Elriel will give us that.

“I thought it was obvious”

The other ships do NOT exist on the page at the moment. Elucien, I will give credit to because they are still mates so that COULD happen still. But right now, where ACOSF ended, they had barely even seen each other in a year. The only romantic coded interactions have been between Azriel & Elain thus far.

“I thought it was obvious”

Elucien & Gw*riel have not shared any romantic moments. There is no romance between them at this current time in the series. I am not talking about “what could happen” or “what could Sarah be setting up” because she said it was obvious. That means it’s there already. There’s no reason to hypothesize and theorize about ships that don’t currently exist in the book. Because - and say it with me-

“I thought it was obvious”

What is obvious about elucien? Other than the fact that they are mates. That’s it. That’s all they have. Not even a conversation on the page. Not even a shared shy glance or brush of their fingers. It’s the equivalent of an arranged marriage neither of them seems to want. Analyzing 20 sentences about flowers and sunlight, going out of your way to prove feyre is an “unreliable” narrator when she questions the bond (but Cassian, fashion police of Velaris, is a very very reliable narrator)-Why? Is any of that obvious to the casual reader? No.

“I thought it was obvious”

I’m not even going to spend many words talking about Gw*nriel, as I don’t see it as anything more than a crackship. They have like 4 platonic interactions. Friendly. Banter, sure. But not all banter is a clue that people are predestined soulmates. Most people who read their interactions are not going to overanalyze spark and glow and shadow behavior. They shouldn’t have to because - again - none of that is obvious.

“I thought it was obvious”

Shy glances and subtle scenes in the background wasn’t enough for those who claim to be reading experts. So SJM released a bonus chapter where in clear black and white text, you see both Azriel and Elain desperate for each other. This man is willing to BEG on his knees for a taste of her/ the end. Why would you even want him with anyone else after that?

“I thought it was obvious”

All these characters I’ve mentioned have been supporting characters this entire series. Nothing concerning them is going to happen in someone else’s book-but the seeds have been sewn. Any scene with Elain could have been written with Lucien or her sisters instead of Azriel - but it wasn’t.

Ex: when majda says, “if anyone can figure out what’s wrong, it’s a mate”

Lucien is THERE. Feyre is THERE. Nesta is THERE. But who figures it out - not her mate, nor her sisters - Azriel.

Lucien could’ve shown her the garden, feyre could’ve sat with her and listened to Elain’s garden plans till 3am - but no - it was Azriel.

And this man is the only one in the NC I’m convinced that has an actual job and responsibilities. So he is choosing to spend what little free time he has with ELAIN. What’s not clicking, folks?

“I thought it was obvious”

Sarah-we love her-but she is Queen of cliches. Her writing is not some insane thriller level that has you gasping every page turn. She likes threes, she likes happy endings, she likes her male LIs desperate for their female counterparts. The answer to Amarantha’s riddle was LOVE. CC had “through love all is possible”.

You really think she wrote the line “hoped love would trump even a mating bond” and it meant nothing?

SJM doesn’t do anything easy. But she said it was obvious- because it IS.

[faeryblade]

Personal Lore: Alice Hart, She/They, 35. I'm a weird-o creature who mostly exists underneath the cover of moonlight. I live in Southern California. Just a mix of disabilities hiding inside a trenchcoat. My favorite color is: blue. I love collecting tea leaves, tea pots, and tea cups. Interested in crystals and tarot cards. Astrology is also a hobby. Staying up past 3 am listening to my playlist. Half here, half somewhere else. Lightning storms, thunder, and rain make me happy.

I'm a Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Libra rising. Year of the Earth Snake. INFJ.

About my Writing: I mostly write romance, isekai fantasy, dark psychological, and yandere stories. I'm always putting my blorbos in scenarios. I love xReader fics and self-indulgent prose. Be cringe and be free, right? I've written for OUAT, TVD/TO and I'm currently down bad for Jonathan Crane in the DC/CodotVerse.

Writing is therapy for me.

Some of my stories will be NSFW so please don't add me or interact if you're a minor. I also tend to write heavy angst, whump, and non-con. But will sometimes throw in some comfort fluff just for a change of pace.

This blog will host a variety of original works and fanfiction. Or whatever requests I get in my asks.

Works In progress:

💙 [[Please, don't tell my psychiatrist!]]

Yandere!Jonathan Crane x Female!Metahuman!Reader.

Synopsis: Dr. Jonathan Crane is a professional in the realms of fear. Not much gets under his skin. That is, until he meets you...

Status: Actively being written, will probably be my main focus for awhile.

Extra Information: Based on a mix of the movies, games, and the CodotVerse. Yandere themes, 18+. Dark fic, smut. Reader is a mess, Jonny is obsessed. A gritty romp through Gotham.

💙 [[A Menagerie of One-Shots]]

Synopsis: Collection of bits and baubles.

Status: Open

Extra Information: Flexible in themes, receptive to your suggestions. Can do 18+, smut or fluffy comfort scenes. Prefer fantasy, romance, or any kind of yandere fic. Give me a challenge~

Other Details:

💙 Ask box open for requests!

💙 Please let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist. Include me in all your ask or tag games.

💙 Shoot me a DM if you want, I love talking about the scenarios and putting our blorbos in them.

💙 Would love to make some mutuals so we can hype each other up.

*divider made by @pfparchive

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ post of gratitude ! <3

⊹ ⠀⠀ hi guys! on my old blog, i'd make a post every november to spread gratitude for the mutuals i interact w most n wanted to carry that tradition onto this blog! ily all and hope that your day was wonderful today (unless ur a nanami stan bc that was rlly rough im so sorry abt that ep ajskl)

psa; if u weren't tagged in this post, pls know that i appreciate u very much and would love to interact w u more!! msg me anytime n i'll try my best to visit ur inbox in the near future!

꒰ . . to my readers ꒱

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ thank u so much for supporting my work by reading, liking, sharing, or commenting on any of my writing! i love reading through reblogs and seeing what u guys think of my ideas,, it's so motivating n i appreciate it so much like omg sometimes u got my kickin my feet reading thru ur comments ajskl i hope to post quality content for ur enjoyment n i luv u all,, much more to come as time goes on !!!

꒰ . . to my mutuals ꒱ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ in alphabetical order

⌗ @chigirizzz ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi val! just wanted to say that i love how supportive u are of other creators on the site,, i feel like whenever i see u on the dash ur always hyping someone up or making their day brighter! ALSO i cant believe u also know the voltage otome games bc i feel like i'm crazy sometimes bc no one know what they are LMFAO i hope u had an amazing day !!!

⌗ @doobea ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ dooby!!! i love the bright energy u bring to my dash n i think ur absolutely gorgeous (u ate that choso costume up omg ajskdlf) ur always such a pleasure to interact w n i think ur writing is amazing,, i rlly need to just binge it all one night ESP the choso fics u post bc ur writing rlly captures how much u love him LOL my fav choso worshipper <3 hope yall get married!

⌗ @hesthermay ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi pookie teehee,, i haven't answered ur text yet bc i was trying to figure out how to fry chicken (3 of them were raw ajsklf) but i will after i post this lol. ilyvm and i can't wait for u to stay w me,, i'm gonna take u to the mall n treat u to some canes chicken fingers *heart eyes* (i'm typing on my laptop forgive me) you've been w me since my org blog from sept 2020 n i act can't believe how long we've known each other now (3 years!) ur so old like ur my granny but that's ok bc ur my favorite granny ever,, sorry for violating u #ageism is not okay,, i miss u so much n i miss ur bf bc ur my mom n dad (legally) i even miss ur roommate who i actually can't rlly remember the name of but that's not the point i'm trying to make so forget i said that part,, i definitely know his name!!! also i decided that kingsley is my favorite dog u have bc he's tiny n reminds me of my doggie,, luv ya! text u in a bit!

⌗ @itadorey ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ omg hi inez, remember these? no u probably don't bc i got rlly lazy w my blog in the late days (rip aitarose) i love all of the tiktoks u send me n i love ur instagram stories bc they make me laugh n i love how much u love snoopy,, he's literally my idol n there are so many statues of him in my city it's so funny n they always make me think of u. ur my yung gravy queen,, i love u so much n i'm so glad hq tumblr let me meet u even tho it was lowkey traumatizing (yikes) our mudae days were so fun,, esp the night i let that person put the roleplay bot into my server jkals so grateful for u !!!

⌗ @kitorin ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hiiii souta!!!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE seeing u comment first on my writing posts,, like it motivates me so much bc i know i have such a large support system coming from u n ur so sweet n talented AJSJJJ u were (i think?) my first new mutual on this blog when i first made it,, n you've made coming back to tumblr such a welcoming n amazing experience! i'm so grateful to be ur mutual n i hope you've had an absolutely amazing day!

⌗ @mymegumi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ firstly BITCH ANSWER MY TEXT. secondly, happy thanksgiving! <3 wish we were spending it together but distance is real n it hates us :( miss u and can't wait to see u whenever that is lmfao like whenever plane tickets decide to stop being so expensive,, so glad we aren't beefing anymore haha that was so silly of us... anyways... whenever i do see u, i'm going to give u a big hug n then we're going to gossip abt everything that's happened since we were last together n it's going to be great bc i'm going to make u watch twice videos n ur gonna love them as much as i do bc i'm ur sister n u have no choice but to love what i love! hahaha... i love you so much n i'm so glad ur my sister #meimei n jiajia 4ever <- that's actually approved by me n that's all that matters bc i'm actually the president of the world and ur my favorite person on it jaklsdf ANSWER MY TEXT BITCH

⌗ @pokkomi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ chiu u r genuinely one of the most positive ppl i've ever met on tumblr n i love u sm for it like jaskdlfjdkl u always make my day when u reblog a post n reading ur tags is so heartwarming n it makes me want to write a million more pieces just to see what u think of them,, ur theme is absolutely adorable n i love ur alpha wolf pfp bc it's so funny n i was literally giggling when u were answering asks abt it n i saw them on my dash,, i hope that every day is an amazing day for u n if u ever need anything u can come in my pms to chat or my inbox (i will def be saying hi later in urs LOL) have an amazing amazing day n i can't wait for u to post any kind of writing in the future!

⌗ @rewh0re ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi hana!!! i'm so glad u popped into my inbox n said hi bc i always saw u interacting w ppl on the dash n i was too nervous to say hi jakfsdlkl i love interacting w u n talking abt whatever n whenever in inboxes or replies,, ur username always makes me giggle n i love it so much (i always read it as 'reo whore' for some reason asjfdkl but i love it) i send ur kuroo fics to my kuroo stan friend n she eats them up,, ur writing style is so beautiful n emotional,, i love the way u structure ur plots w metaphors n repetition n symbolism n everything u put into ur hard work it's all so amazing,, wishing u the very best day tmr ever!

⌗ @wishmemel ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAFI!!!! ik i alr said it but it never hurts to hear a million times n more! i associate u sm w sanrio like idk if mymelo is ur favorite but in my head u r the real life her ajsfkl,, ur so sweet n genuine i love interacting w u n seeing u all over my dash,, I HOPE UR BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING !!!! ... fixing this bc im screaming bc i can't believe i mixed that up omg... anyways... LUV U

⌗ @yoisami ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ OKAY FIRST i literally LOVE ur theme like it's so cute n so fitting to ur personality i love it sm ajsfkdl saki ur so sweet n i'm so glad we're mutuals bc i always look forwards to seeing u on my dash or going to ur inbox (which i'm lacking on rn but i promise i'll visit it more soon jaskdl!!!!) the way u support ff writing on tumblr is so amazing w ur reblogs n tags,, n i look foward to reading more of ur writing in the future (hopefully i can live up to ur sweet tags!) !!! have an amazing amazing day saki !!!!!!

⌗ @y2kuromi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ screaming bc i got ur bday mixed up w another mutual but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LMFAO !!!! i hope that ur day was so amazing n that i'm not getting this wrong again (SORRY SAFI) !!! mimi ur so nice i'm like giggling so hard rn im so sorry,, happy happy birthday hope it was amazing!

⌗ all of my other loves <3 ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ i love being mutuals w all of u n being a part of such a supportive writing community! ur all so talented n ur blogs r beautiful, i hope ur day was absolutely amazing n that we can interact more in the future (i will be invading ur inboxes that's a promise ajfskdl) !!!! happy november!!!

[khepiari]

Rant Post: Imagine crying over fanfic stats! Laughable!

Imagine crying over fanfic stats! Over fanfic. If you don’t have enough fics, write your own stories. If you don’t have enough art, make it. These days, people think fandom exists for just creating content!

If you are a passive fan then behave like one. No one owns you shit, and using words like “misogyny” and “comphet” will not help your cause. And this obsession with numbers! The AO3 site works on how you use your brains to find the fic you want to read. Suck it up. There is no pot of gold sitting for the shippers at the end of topping these rainbow stats.

There is so much mutual clowning that happens outside the AO3 website and Twitter spaces too! People have Discord channels, Facebook groups, events, zines, and Instagram broadcasting channels to share their love for their fandoms and ships.

Yet here we are, people obsessed with AO3 stats.

And when people are willing to create new things for their respective fandoms, there is a dearth of interaction. A plant can grow from the cracks of the concrete, but it will need sunlight, water, and nutrition to blossom flowers. For fandom creators be it wlw or mlm or gen creators; positive and supportive interactions are their light, water and soil.

How can you expect to be fed but not reciprocate in return? If you don’t do the bare minimum of hyping your creators, what's the point of being in a fandom? Why will someone put their labour out there if all they get is endless negativity? One of my favourite fic writers entirely stopped writing for the wlw community of her fandom because of negative interactions and hateful campaigns. This is one of the main reasons many writers quit wlw spaces and abandon writing or creating anything!

I remember when I was publishing My Little Husband on ffnt more than a decade back. I had readers "who couldn’t write well" according to themselves, who often gave me prompts and scenes to add to the story. They also helped me correct my typos, plot holes and syntax because I was a very young and inexperienced writer writing something very ambitious. It was one of the best and most positive experiences of my life because the story was truly an interactive experience! That first encounter has shaped me as a fic writer today.

That’s why I love the current culture of Threadfics! They are so much fun! Fic writers who have a bone for an idea but not enough meat throw it at us the readers. And then all of us rush to it like a pack of hyenas but pull a reverse hunting by adding in the meat to this bone and creating something fun and weird.

Instead, of using the fandom space as a positive and creatively enriching place, so many of you have driven away people with negativity. And it's not just about wlw shippers any more, it's a comment on the entire fandom atmosphere post-pandemic!

Some of you want a seven-course meal catering to your 3-star Michelin appetites from the home kitchen of a hobby cook! This is not how it works!

P.S.: If you want to read: My Little Husband, here is the slightly cleaner version on ao3.

[mrbexwrites]

Thoughts on Beta Readers

Apologies in advance if this turns into a bit of a ramble; I've had a lot of thoughts in my head, and I needed to somewhere to formulate them into a coherent stream.

I made this writblr page about a year ago after realising that I have written loads of stories, but never really thought about sharing them. I still don't know what I'm ultimately going to do with any of them- I don't think I have the skills/fortitude to go through Trad or Indie pub, nor the stamina and/or headspace for self-pub and trying to be my own hype/marketing person just doesn't appeal to me.

I like the writing part of writing; not so much anything else, as anyone who has seen any of my other posts will attest to! I think in just about every post I've ever published, it's just me grumbling about editing!

Anyway- sorry, I digress (in my defense, I did say that this would be a rambling post, so you only have yourself to blame if you've made it this far into my diatribe!). I've only been brave enough to share snippets of my WIPs through tag games, and everyone who had liked, commented or reblogged something- has given me that little dopamine spike and helped me find some courage to share my work.

I put out a call for beta readers, and some amazing people have taken the time and effort to read something that I've written.

I'm not a confident person, and I really worried that my story was garbage. I think I've stared at the documents so many times, that I could no longer see the woods from the trees. There were bits that I wasn't happy with, but couldn't figure out why. I was worried that I didn't have enough research under my belt to handle sentitive topics. Some sections felt too heavy, or dull. I found my own writing boring, my characters bland, scenes didn't gel, action felt disjointed etc etc.

Basically, I was in a bit of a tailspin, or a slump, a funk...and I didn't know how to dig myself out of the hole that I'd managed to clamber into. Normally, when I finish a WIP, it's done, and I don't do anything with it. It just stays in my docs folder, and backed up to an external hard-drive.

Rather than just continuing to stare at a document for hours, wondering what to do, I found my beta readers, and sent my first draft over to them (hoping that I'd managed to find all typos- lol, that didn't happen. Typos still managed to escape me -_-' )

I've seen several posts on my dash from folk complaining about interaction and the writblr community. My posts don't get a lot of engagement, which is fine (not trying to join a pity party- just stating facts!) but I've found that the interaction that I do have from followers, mutual or random folk has been really meaningful.

I've gone from dreading sharing my work, to being excited to post snippets, and being tagged in games, getting to see what everyone else has been working on. (I appreciate that I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as I'm not very good at engaging with others on this site- I worry about coming across as a complete weirdo creep, and I struggle to find new ways of saying 'omg, I love this, show me more' in the tags! Or to think of asks to send, even though several people diligently send me asks every week! I'm trying to get better, I promise!)

Sorry- rambling again. I just...adklsdfgskhdfh

I'm honestly gobsmacked by the effort that my beta readers put into my WIP, and the kind comments, feedback and suggestions that they've made. I genuinely believed that I would get ' meh, it was okay' in the best scenario that I'd worked out in my head. Their engagement and feedback has been so helpful and I appreciate it so much.

It's helped me identify the sticking points that I was having, why I was unhappy with some scenes, characters etc etc. They have really helped me take that step back, and re-evaluate things, rather than just staring at the screen and feeling like a deer in the headlights. I was so worried/scared about sharing an entire WIP, but it's been worth it.

So, if anyone is in the same boat as me- scared to take the plunge- dip your toe in the water. Share snippets, work up to finding a beta reader or two, get outside input, rather than just sitting and staring trying to work it out on your own.

There are a lot of people out there willing to share their knowledge, and help you get the most out of your story.

Special thank you to @sam-glade and @at-thezenith for taking the time to give me such thorough feedback. I honestly can't thank you enough for your input and comments.

I'm going to stop rambling now, before this gets any more unhinged!

TL;DR- don't be a little writblr gremlin, lurking in the shadows. Engage with the community, and because they're awesome, they'll help you out!

[hopecomesbacktolife]

I’m not going to reblog the post itself because I don’t want that behavior on my blog, but oh my god I just saw a post about “looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3” and good lord the amount of bad takes both in that post and in the notes?? I have to just ramble about this for a moment because oh my god. it was ludicrous.

people were complaining that, and get this, unfinished fics exist. and that if you read an unfinished fic you’ll have to, get this, wait to read more until it’s published next. they were allll up in arms that there’s fics for a character that don’t cater to their specific interests. that they involve other characters and either do/don’t put them in a romantic relationship when they want the opposite for the character.

like at this point, most of you people in the notes on that post are 1) just being mean and condescending about FREE WORKS you can, may I remind you, READ FOR FREE and EXIT at ANY time! if you don’t like it!, don’t read it!, it’s so simple!, and 2) straight up do not know how ao3 works lmao

like I saw soooo many people in the notes complaining about a certain ship, dynamic, tag, etc, and like… y’all know you can filter by romantic vs platonic pairings, by ratings, by excluding certain tags or other qualifiers, etc etc etc… you know about ao3’s actually incredibly usable filtering and searching system… right… right??

at this point I’m just convinced a lot of these people are spoiled by large fandoms with 100k+ works for their characters and have decided to just be mean and condescending for no reason on main, about literally free fan works you can read for free any time that people spend hours and hours pouring their free time into out of sheer love for their craft. cuckoo bananas behavior if you ask me 🫠

I was legit so close to commenting that maybe they should try shipping two characters with <10 fics, with 0 fics, try liking a rare pair, try hyperfocusing on a character or niche type of fandom with a tiny but lovely circle of fans, and stop treating fan works and fic as Content TM that they deserve to have handed to them that caters to exactly what they want for free and maybe they’ll calm down lmao

like y’all aren’t cool you’re just being mean. we fundamentally approach fic in wildly different ways and honestly the way you do sounds exhausting. literally could not be me, I’m to busy finding joy in shared love for characters and not flipping the table in a rage because there’s one (1) element of the fic that isn’t specifically catered to me, maybe try that and you’ll feel better, hmm?

and yeah I’m aware that last sentence is me being condescending towards them, but frankly it’s warranted when so many people are being that mean and haughty for no reason lmao but truly those takes were horrific. fellow fic writers and even fellow fic readers I interact with, am mutuals with, authors whose works I read, readers who comment and interact with my works, fans of niche fandom subsets that run in the same circles as me— I hope you know this is so wildly not how I approach fics, I love just finding fics for my characters and forming these lil communities where we share our interests and love for them and hype each other up. I love what we have in these fandom niches and I hope you know I would never dream of being so mean and condescending towards y’all. fic writers and readers and fan communities are so special and I cherish it even if clearly there’s people in the notes on that other post who don’t know how to do that lmao. I love your unfinished WIPs, I love your fics that may only partially be what I’m looking for, I love when you write characters in a way I wouldn’t expect but shows your love for your particular headcanon, I love the variety and diversity and variance in fic. I love us. genuinely. fic writer moots I am hugging all of you and I frequently reread your works, even the unfinished ones. ♡

[magnoliabutters]

who art thou?

• who the hell are you •

my name is katrina (she/her), nice to meet yah! i am a pansexual queen, welcoming to all my fellow lgbtqia+ babies. i hope to create fanfics for a variety of readers! currently, i am obsessed with my mans, eddie munson. i like to write smut&fluff balanced series, but may send out the occasional smut post to keep things interesting! i also am a big fan of action so i tend to include that in there with my fluff&smut if the universe permits.

i write 18+ content. please do not interact if you are a minor. seriously. not for you. also please don’t plagiarize, it wasn’t cool in school and it isn’t now. i am open to your feedback and would love to hear your thoughts on my writing! promise you won’t get sass if feedback comes with pure intentions 😈 i'm hoping to improve my writing when it comes to describing the scene and making you feel as though you are truly within the story! i want to provide you with an opportunity to escape real life, if you happen to need a quick break. i may include some resources in posts to better support this concept (e.g., playlists). my writing usually has a word count between ~1-10k, but there may be some outliers.

also also, i am always looking for mutuals and more writers to interact with! please feel free to hit me up in the chats <3 i’d love to get to know you! also also, i try my hardest to read other posts out there and give feedback reblogs. i’ll be honest after a day of work, reading past 2k is rough but give me a follow if you want some recs 💖

• when and why do you write •

i am still working to consistently post weekly. lately, I’ve been getting hit hard with a writing bug and then my brain is dormant for like 2 weeks. anything i write during that time is literal poo-poo on fire. hopefully it doesn’t last haha updates and recent posts can be found on my nav page. i will update when i’m writing a post and when i plan to post ✨

if any of my posts suit your fancy, please reblog, comment, message, or anon request that you want a part two. if y’all want it, i’ll write it. like literally i will have like next to no likes on a post and if someone asks for a part two, hoe you getting it. 🫂 also, a “small” bit of why i write is to get some hoes horny. that is a huge compliment for me and like lmk. anyways, i like to lean more into the “smut or porn?” type of writing too…

i am best supported by reblogs!  + comments really keep me encouraged to write 🥹 follows and likes are also much appreciated. i’m not uber comfy with tips but like if the thought pops in your head, and then you take like a day to think about it, and it’s still there, and then you take one more day after that and it’s still there, then like here’s my cashapp 🫠 i

will continue writing as long as someone out there is reading 🥰 reading your comments and feedback gives me so much joy! but like not too rough of feedback cause i'll cry ☺️ also, taglists are awesome, but please feel free to let me know if you want to be taken off. no judgment here, i promise you. i understand not wanting to be notified constantly! 

oh! and here is my view on #tags. warning may not be a popular opinion 😬 in the first few days of a post, i will use whatever tags are needed to get your eyes to see it. i work really hard on my writing and i want to make sure it’s seen. however, my posts always include the appropriate pairing right at the top so you are more than welcomed to say “fuck this” if it doesn’t match the tag you were looking for. with that being said, once the hype goes down on a post, i will make sure to appropriately tag my pieces. also in the cases of my oc’s, i still consider the oc as the reader. we are all becoming the oc in my posts ♥️ time to escape to another universe!

• what do you even write about •

i am looking into exploring characters and experiences within: (1) the tv universes of stranger things, the walking dead, the boys, buffy the vampire slayer, the l word, z nation, supernatural, true blood, game of thrones, house of dragons, shameless, etc. (2) the video game universes of left 4 dead 2, resident evil 6, the last of us: parts 1 & 2, dead by daylight, etc. & (3) the movie universe of the hunger games, top gun (rooster is very special to me), twilight, avatar (ma’jake 🤤), mcu, harry potter, etc.

i pretty much am hoping to write about whatever i am currently obsessed with haha as we all should. each series is written within their own universes, so some things might not match up. apologies in advance! also as some of these universes can be quite violent, i write a little violence but always disclose in the warning so check those out! i am starting to dip my toe into the ideas of requests. please feel free to send me your thoughts on what you'd like to read ✨

my reader povs will always be 18+ and consenting adults. we also support and promote safe sex here, despite the shenanigans that may be happening in my smut series 🤤 i explore different areas of mental health, but anxiety is a common theme amongst my series. i'm an anxiety queen so i am making us all queens. my warnings will also include any triggers associated with smuts, as well as mental health (i.e., trauma). i write my series to bring you nothing but happiness, so please check out the warnings before reading! also sometimes my smut my just be down right porn, so please do enjoy. that is my intent 😚

• inspirations • 

tags to the authors who have left a lasting impact on me and my writing. these are my favorite posts from them so far! most of which either make me feel something (which is rare lol) or give me a writing bug. these are also the most wonderful humans who are willing to help my noobie ass. i encourage you to check them out as much as possible because if i’m over here tagging and reblogging, they must be fucking legit. send them my love.

✨ @theoreticslut • celebrate good times • eddie munson •

✨ @seidenbros​ • there’s no one like you • eddie munson • 

✨ @indouloureux • bloom later • steve harrington •

✨ @ghosttownwherenoonegoes​ • a look to open the skies • eddie munson •

✨ @fandomxpreferences​​ • macho man • bradley “rooster” bradshaw •

✨ @hellfirebabes​ • scream for me • eddie munson •

✨ @mcplestreet​ • bartering • eddie munson •

✨ @darkworkcourier • ghost request • simon “ghost” riley •

✨ @nackrosor • slutty feline jester • eddie munson •

✨ @sunflowersteves • another day, another dollar • bradley “rooster” bradshaw •

✨ @fairysluna • little wolf • aemond targaryen •

• nav • requests open •

[peachdues]

Hi! I am fairly new to this app but I have been reading yours and other writers work and it’s amazing!!!!! I’ve always have had the thought in the back of my mind to start writing drabbles or fics but never had the motivation or was too insecure it wouldn’t get any interactions and people wouldn’t enjoy it. However recently as I’m off uni for the summer, I thought fuck it and I want to start! However I’m wondering, what got you inspired to start writing? And were you ever worried or insecure about your works not getting attention or no one liking them? I have those thoughts in the back of my mind which is making me not want to try 🥲 BTW I love your fics and I’m constantly checking for updates !! Your one of the writers who have inspired me :))))) have a good day!!!

Hello, friend!

Thank you for your ask, you’re so sweet! And congrats on having a break from uni 🤍🤍

I’ve been writing creatively since I was small, so the motivation was always kind of there. However, before May, the last time I’d written for fun was probably sometime in early uni? Later on in college, and definitely in law school, I was doing so much technical/research writing that I was kind of burned out with it, so I’d stopped. I picked back up again in May on a whim.

Once I knew I wanted to write, I just sort of daydreamed about different things to see what would get that creative spark going. I don’t even know how my brain narrowed in on demon slayer, as it had been a while since I’d last watched it, but it did.

The first thing I wrote was a scene from Bundle of Joy — when Sanemi pushes his way into the birthing room to hold the reader. I wrote that as a blurb on my phone and put it away. I started building on it later (like, the conflict, the development of their relationship, etc), so by no means was it a planned-out story. It was more of a stream of consciousness than anything, and I jumped around randomly to fill in the details as I thought of them.

And that’s still my writing process! I’ve sent my working draft of part 2 for Tell Me to Stop to a couple of mutuals, but had to explain that I just write full blurbs and occasionally stop mid-sentence until I figure out what to do next. That’s what works for me, but everyone is different!

As for your question on like, whether I’ve felt any insecurities — absolutely. But I also knew I couldn’t get better unless I let myself be a bit rusty at first, and I definitely was — TWAHM is probably my weakest work because I posted it first, and it shows. But, I also didn’t really post it expecting people to like it either — it was more of an incentive for me to do it and work on my creative writing, and once I started, it was like riding a bike again.

I’m a big believer in the “fuck it” mentality — so, I think you should just say “fuck it” and go for it! You might be surprised with how much people like your work — I know I definitely am! Pick a character you really love and play around with ideas for them — that’s why I have so many things for Sanemi, because I adore him, and find him easy to write. I used Sanemi to re-flex my writing muscles, and now I feel a bit more comfortable expanding into other characters, as I want. Maybe something similar will help you ease into it!

If you do decide to ever post anything you write, message me privately and I’ll go hype you up 😘 I hope to see your work soon!!

🌸🍑

[allkinds-oftrash]

Dress

A/N: Hello again yall happy one month to the first part - Magic Jake! I honestly don’t know how the rest of you do it always putting out content consistently I applaud you all! For those of you have been following or listening to me ramble about this fic forever, thank you for waiting and its finally here!! It went through a couple of rewrites and changes but we made it. I would like to thank my writing friends for always writing with me, listening to my TGM rambles and hyping me up for this fic @hptriviachamp (an iconic beta reader a girl can ask for!) @jeanvanjer (who yall can thank for some of the most wholesome and fluffy scenes in this fic) @sophiamariabeckett (a bestie for life).  To all my Top Gun mutuals and new friends thank you so much for welcoming me into the fandom and always engaging back whenever I interact with yalls’ posts - you guys are the best!! Special shout out to @magneticghouls my Top Gun bestie. @rad-topgunn @tgmavericklover @jakeseresins @pegxcarter @mavswife [Do let me know if yall wanna be added or removed from my taglist!]

[Fic Notes: I’m a dumbass and made the Young Guns 20 somethings in the first fic so Jake is celebrating his 25th birthday in this one. While the MC has a name, this can be read a dark WoC!Reader fic]

So without further ado, I present Dress! Happy Reading - support and hype a girl by screaming to me about this in reblogged tags and comments thank you!! :D

Part 1 - Magic Jake Based on This Song | Playlist I Made For The Vibes

Our secret moments in your crowded room They've got no idea about me and you There is an indentation in the shape of you Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

It had been exactly 7 months since she had met Hangman in that fateful Go-Go bar on her birthday. Funnily enough, it was his birthday today. As she prepared for his surprise party with his friends at the Hard Deck, she replayed the last few months back in her mind. Of course, it always goes back to the first night they spent together. She smiled thinking of the first time they kissed at the back of the taxi. She had made the first move grabbing his collar and she was glad she did. It was everything she had hoped for. 

All the pent tension from the strip tease exploded in that single kiss. Sahara swore she felt fireworks going off at the back of her head. She remembered how his lips felt on hers. They were soft but he was nowhere gentle at all. Jake couldn't get enough of her. 

"Sahara, you good?" A voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up to see Coyote.  "Hm, yeah I'm fine. What's up?"  "You're looking a little red there." At the mention of her blushing, she turned even more red. God, she was embarrassing.  "I'm alright, just hot." She brushed it off casually and fanned herself to sell the ruse. Then she glanced at him curiously, "How else can I help?"  "We're pretty much done." He gestured to the Hard Deck being all decked out with birthday decorations. He then rubbed the back of his neck, kind of nervous for a moment. "I was actually wondering if you'd like to bring out the cake with me when Hangman walks in."  

She blinked at him in surprise. She figured he would do it since they were so close. She knew it was no big deal but also being the person who brings out the cake at these things was usually close to the birthday person. She had known him for less than a year. 

"Really, me?" "Yes, you." Coyote laughed heartily. She couldn't help but smile, he had the most contagious laugh. "I'm sure Hangman would want you to."  "Alright then, just let me know when." She smiled at him and then went back to finishing up putting up the last of the streamers. She did a round of the bar, greeting the other Young Guns and making sure everything was perfect. 

Just as she was about to go find Coyote, he found everyone. 

"YO everyone!! Rooster just texted, they're on their way."  He announced to the room as everyone took cover in their hiding spots. Coyote gestured to Sahara to follow and they both headed to the pantry to get his cake. 

She had a small smile as she entered the room. It was safe to say that over the last 7 months, Hangman and her had pretty much christened most of the Hard Deck with their late night quickies. It was probably their best kept secret from the crew. 

"I knew you'd like the cake." Coyote said excitedly when he caught her smile. She raised her eyebrows for a moment before looking down at the cake, her grin growing wider. It was perfect and she knew he was going to love it. The cake itself was the navy blue of his helmet and the words "Happy Birthday, Hangman!" read in mustard yellow. It was a nice touch for Coyote to incorporate the birthday boy's favourite colours. At the top was a fondant F-18 hanging by the cliff held on by a noose. 

"You designed this?" She asked.  "Yes, ma'am." "He's going to love it, Coyote!"  He smiled, proud of himself. He prided himself on knowing Hangman best. "Thank you, thank you. Glad I didn't let Phoenix order it for me." 

"The words would be reading 'Happy Birthday Bagman' right now." She giggled remembering how Jake hated being called Bagman by Phoenix. Then they heard voices outside. The two of them fell silent to listen to them. Sahara smiled, recognising Jake's voice and of course Rooster teasing him. Coyote had a small grin make its way to his face when he saw Sahara's face hearing Hangman's voice. If he was going to trust his best friend with anyone else, it would be her. 

~

Rooster really couldn't give Hangman a break, not even on his birthday. As Hangman was led to the Hard Deck, his frenemy kept pushing his buttons. 

Hangman had made the mistake of relaying his plans for his birthday and had a dreamy smile when he mentioned calling Sahara for a night in. Rooster poked him playfully,

“Calling Sahara now, are you?" He wore the same smirk Hangman wore most days. Jake wasn't sure if he liked being on the other side of it.  “What about it?” Hangman pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes at his rival. Rooster couldn’t help but chuckle at how defensive he was getting already.  “Oh, come on. You really don’t see it? You like this girl.” Rooster pointed out. He was being a little shit by teasing Hangman who froze at the mention of liking her.  “What makes you say that?” He asked incredulously. He was Jake Seresin. He doesn’t like anyone. Sahara and him were just having fun and they both knew that. 

“You haven’t slept with anyone else in the last half a year.”  “How-” Hangman’s jaw dropped at his observation, “How the fuck do you know that?”  “We all know Hang. You’ve only ever been taking Sahara home every night. Not that we’re complaining. It’s nice to see you settle down.” Rooster was purposefully picking his words. He knew all the commitment buzzwords were going to set Hangman off. And it did. Jake liked Sahara enough but they were not settling down. Rooster was being ridiculous and getting on his nerves. Hangman clenched his jaw and glared at his frenemy.  “Settle down?? I am not. Fuck off, Bradshaw.” Hangman hissed as they walked into the dark and empty bar. He frowned at the scene. This was not the lively Friday night at the bar he was usually used to. 

“Where is everybody? Did Penny close up early?” He asked Rooster quizzically as the latter turned on the lights with a playful grin. Immediately, everyone jumped out of their places and yelled in perfect unison, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANGMAN!!” 

Hangman just about fell back in shock. He figured it would be a quiet birthday; a few birthday drinks between him and the crew, then having dinner with Coyote before calling up Sahara for a late night in. This was not at all what he was expecting. He was touched. All their friends had come together to celebrate him. Then to put the cherry on top, out came his two favourite people with the cake in hand leading the birthday song. Everyone in the bar rallied together to sing to him in their loudest voice. 

His eyes lit up as Sahara and Coyote brought the cake to him. It meant a lot that it was the two of them. Coyote let her hold the cake as he came around Hangman’s side to clap his back.  “WOOO Happy Birthday, pal!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs in a celebratory manner. Sahara held up the cake to him with the widest grin. “Make a wish, Jake.” 

When she said his name like that, he became undone. He kept it together and matched her grin. Closing his eyes, he made his wish. Though there wasn’t much to ask for. He already had the perfect birthday so far. Then he opened his eyes, looked deep into her eyes and blew out the candles. The whole room cheered. 

“Didn’t really need to wish for anything else now that you’re here, sugar.” He smirked flirtily at her. She just laughed as the blush dusted her cheeks pink. While she knew all of his flirty lines, every time he pulled them on her, her heart still raced. Being around him always feels like the first time they met. She set down the cake on the table and handed him the knife for him to cut into it. 

Jake wrapped his hand around hers as he took the knife from her. He shot her a wink before snaking his other arm around her waist. She smiled as he pulled her to his side and kissed her temple. He bumped Coyote by the shoulders affectionately. "Thanks so much for this, y'all." He said to everyone but really he was looking gratefully at Coyote and Sahara. They beamed back at him. His grin grew wider as he cut into the cake. 

As per tradition, he had to feed the person he loved the most. Everyone knew who it was. He faked feeding himself as everyone groaned and both Coyote and Sahara playfully punched his sides. 

"Okay okay, wow someone is touchy." He raised his hands defensively, teasing Coyote's pout. He then goes to feed his best friend before completely rubbing the piece of cake all over his face. Coyote yelled before grabbing the cream off the top of the cake and retaliating. Now they were both covered in chocolate. Their crew burst out laughing while Sahara shook her head at their shenanigans. She grabbed a couple of napkins to pass it to them when Jake came over to her with a sly grin. Immediately, she stepped back - knowing what was coming. 

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah) All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from holding back from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

“Jake Hangman Seresin, no. This is my best foundation, I will kill you if you mess it up.” She just kept going back until she hit a wall. His smirk just grew wider once she was trapped.  “Awe come on, sweetheart, a little kiss for the Birthday Boy.” He leaned towards her. His bright eyes shining with mischief as he placed his arm by her head boxing her into the corner. She rolled her eyes playfully at his tactic.  "You're ridiculous and you owe me, Birthday Boy." She chuckled. Then she brought her hand up to his neck, her fingers wrapping around the nape pulling him close to her. She closed the gap between them and kissed him. Instinctively, his other hand went to caress her cheek, his fingers laced within her hair seconds later.  

They both think they'll never get tired of kissing each other. He adored how she was always so gentle with him and her kisses. He loved how soft and warm her lips were against his. How she played and tugged at his hair at the nape of his neck to make him moan. At his moan, Sahara smiled against his lips, allowing him access. She relished in how he always kissed her like he couldn't get enough of her. Like he couldn't breathe and she was his lifeline. As he slipped his tongue past her lips, his arms slid down the curve of her body. They circled her waist and tugged her flush against him. She sighed into his mouth with pleasure before following his lead and pressed herself against him. 

At this point, Coyote was done giving out the cake to all the guests and he was confused to find the Birthday Boy and his partner in crime for the party missing. Their crew spotted him looking around and went up to him. Rooster was the first one to point them out in their little corner. 

"God, they're like teenagers on prom night." He snickered while Phoenix made a face.  "I think they're adorable." Fanboy said and Bob echoed the sentiment.  "Babe, you find all the couples adorable." Payback grinned at his boyfriend as he walked up to him and slung his arm around Fanboy's shoulder. "Roost, you're the cockblocker, mind interrupting them? I have their cake." Coyote held up the last two plates of his cake. One of them had the plane by its noose. He figured that's the piece Hangman would have wanted. 

While their friends were pushing each other towards the two of them, Hangman and Sahara were lost in their own world. The birthday boy in particular was annoyed by their clothes acting as a barrier. A playful smile formed on his face as an idea came to him. He started to slip his hands up the skirt of her dress and dragged his fingers higher up her thighs. He was extremely satisfied when it earned a gasp from Sahara. 

“Jake!” She whisper-shrieked against his lips. She pulled back from him. “It’s not as if we haven’t done it here, darlin’.” His damming smirk made its way to his face as his hand left her thighs to rest on her waist to keep her close. He used the thumb of his other hand to firmly wipe off the blue frosting that now coated her lips. He gave her a quick peck and grinned, "You taste delicious."  She just shook her head at him amused. Just as she was just about to suggest that they return to his party, Coyote came up to them. 

Coyote had his eyebrows furrowed slightly in annoyance. Not at them but the fact that the crew had physically pushed him towards them to interrupt. Coyote was just happy they stopped themselves. Unlike some people, he wasn’t a cockblock. He just held up their plates of cake with a smile. “We kept the last two pieces for you two.” 

Sahara cooed at him gratefully taking her plate. “Thank you, Coyote, that’s so sweet!” Then realising he had probably handed it all out on his own when she was supposed to help, she dipped her head apologetically. “Sorry I didn’t help.”  “It’s alright, Sahara.” Coyote waved her off casually while Hangman had a smug smile.  “It’s okay, sweetheart, you were busy with making birthday wishes come true. A noble cause, really.” Hangman nuzzled his face into the curve of her neck, pressing a soft kiss against her skin. 

His best friend couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how cheesy they were. “Whipped!” He coughed subtly. Immediately, Hangman’s head snapped up and he glared at Coyote.  “I am not!” He insisted. What the hell was up with everyone giving him shit about their relationship today? Coyote gave him a knowing look.  “Sure, Hang.” Coyote then passed the Birthday Boy his cake and walked back to the crew. 

Sahara nudged Jake by the shoulder to follow suit. He whined softly. “No, I want you.” “It’s your party, Jake.” She countered, already tugging him to their group of friends. Honestly, she was starting to feel bad for taking up his time. Not to mention his insistence of not being whipped rubbed her off the wrong way. It just confirmed to her that they were nothing more than fuck buddies. She pushed the thought of her mind. She knew exactly what she was getting into when they met. Jake Hangman Seresin was not the relationship type. They were just having fun. She was the one who had to cap her feelings and expectations. 

Jake sensed something was off but since she was putting on a smile and more than happy to be involved in the party, he let it go. He could always ask her later.

“Fineee.” He dragged out the word like a child then gave her a sweet look, “Anything for you, sweets.” He then tucked his hand around her waist into her back pocket as he followed her along to join their friends. 

He was admiring his cake while the crew was talking amongst each other. Coyote slid up next to him and Hangman grinned, gesturing to the cake.  “You did a great job, pal, I love it.” He complimented his best friend. Coyote smiled and clapped his hand on his back before giving him a side hug.  “I knew you would.” He said then watched as Hangman had a dreamy look watching Sahara. He nudged his best friend, “I hope I didn’t freak you out earlier. Don’t go all ‘Jake’ on her.”  Hangman snapped out of looking at her like a puppy and frowned at Coyote. “What are you on about, Coyote?”

Coyote rubbed his eyes tiredly. They both knew Hangman was the best and knew everything there is about planes and fighter jets. But this boy was DUMB when it came to his personal life. “Jake, I know you aren’t this stupid.”  Hangman was even more confused because Coyote never used his name, especially not after they broke up. “Javy, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.” 

“Don’t freak out on her because you’re scared of committing. Not every one of your relationships is going to crash and burn like ours.” Coyote chuckled drily. The two of them were honestly good now but that didn’t mean they were immune from the heartache that followed the messy breakup of best friends turned romantic partners. It took them a while but they were closer than ever. Coyote saw firsthand how the fallout of that affected Hangman. He never really dated anyone after that. 

“We did not crash and burn.” Hangman scoffed while Coyote gave him a look. Jake didn’t like to admit it but their relationship was his one failure in life. He took it as a personal failure in a life where he was pretty much the best and perfect at everything. He conceded with a small shake of his head, “We’re fine now, aren’t we?” 

“Yes, which is why I’m telling you not to ruin whatever is going on with Sahara.”  “There’s nothing going on!” “Do you want something to?” Coyote was on a roll today. After all, no one else knew Hangman better and he wouldn’t want it any other way. He looked over at Sahara pensively. He could never tire of staring at her. The way her hair shined in the light, it was so soft and ethereal. He loved weaving his fingers through it. When she laughed - as she was doing so right now with the rest of the crew - it was like bells and it was so contagious. He realised it had slowly become his favourite sound in the world. He especially adored how her eyes light up when she laughed or was just happy that day. His heart raced as he watched how well she fit in with the crew. How well she had integrated into his life in the last 7 months. 

“I don’t know, man.” He sighed softly, unsure what to do with these feelings he had been suppressing for so long. 

~

A couple of feet away, Sahara was distracting herself from her feelings with the crew. They always made her laugh and that always put her in a better mood. They all went around sharing their favourite less-than-perfect Hangman moments. She loved hanging out with them. They had the best stories about Jake for her and were always welcoming of her. 

Payback was animatedly describing the time Mav had shot down Hangman after he had tried to pull the usual shit where he left Phoenix and Bob hanging and was being an asshole in the sky. Sahara was pretty surprised to hear of this. She knew he could be cocky and too sarcastic for his own good but she didn’t realise how competitive he got in the sky. 

“And my favourite part was when he got Phoenix and Bob killed and then had the audacity to ask them for help and Phoenix drops the most badass line:" Fanboy finished his boyfriend's story and pointed to Phoenix to say her line. "I'm dead, dickhead." She delivered it perfectly. Sahara couldn't help but laugh out loud. Instinctively, she turned to look at Jake who seemed to be deep in conversation with Coyote. Her eyebrows dipped ever so slightly at how intense Jake seemed to be. Moments later, she turned back to the crew, not wanting to disturb him. 

Phoenix caught on to her look and nudged her with a knowing grin.  "You know you should just tell him."  Sahara blinked at her friend and raised her eyebrow ever so slightly. "I don't know what you mean." She decided to play dumb. The last thing she needed was for Jake to overhear them and freak out. The rest of them overheard and started to laugh in unison. Now she was even more confused. Rooster raised a beer at her.  “The two of you seriously need to make it official, already.”  “Hey, you’re not allowed to interfere with them!” Payback said sternly as the rest of them exchanged looks. She felt extremely out of the loop and narrowed her eyes at them suspiciously. 

“What do you mean he’s ‘not allowed to interfere’ with us?” She pointedly asked Payback. Everyone started to look guilty and no one said a word. It took a moment but it clicked. “You guys bet on us?!” It was the kind of frustration that was so calm, the crew knew they were in trouble. They all hung their heads low like children being reprimanded. She sighed softly, not wanting to make them feel bad. 

“I’m sorry.” came the chorus of apologies and she just shook her head, now more amused by how in sync they all were.  “It’s fine.” She shook it off, “I should have known. Now tell me, what are your timelines?” She rested her elbow against the table and leaned into the crew, genuinely interested to hear their theories. 

Rooster - 7 months and proclaimed he could get them together. Which is why he was being so pushy today.  Phoenix - Never. She didn’t have any faith in Hangman changing his ways  Payback - 5 years  Fanboy - 10 years Coyote - 7 months without interfering  Bob - In their own time 

Sahara smiled at Bob’s sweet answer, “That’s really thoughtful, Bob.” “It’s a cop out.” Payback teased him while the rest of them smacked him lightly on the chest. Then Sahara grabbed her wallet and took out a couple of ten-dollar bills, handing them over to Payback. He glanced at her curiously, waiting for an explanation. “I’m with Phoenix. He’s not the committing type.” It was hard for the crew to see her so resigned. They all rallied around her to comfort her.  “You guys it’s fine. I like him as he is. I know what I signed up for.” She told them reassuringly. Still, they weren’t fans of how it was making her feel. 

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, he’s only been taking you home the last few months. That’s gotta count for something right.” Payback supplied while his boyfriend continued, “He could like you too!” Fanboy’s optimism never failed to cheer her up. They all cheered with their drinks as a smile came back onto her face. 

The comforting and cheering didn’t go unnoticed by Hangman. Their fanfare was loud enough to drag him over to see what the fuss was about. He wrapped up his conversation with Coyote and they went to investigate. He came up behind Sahara and wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder with his cheek pressed against hers.

“What’s all this celebration without the Birthday Boy!” He playfully frowned at them. 

Sahara relished in his warm embrace. She never pegged him for the affectionate type but lately he had been so cuddly with her. She thought back to the last couple of months. It's how he would want to spend time with her outside of their hookups. Sometimes they'd grab dinner at The Hard Deck and he would play with her hair while he told her about his day over drinks. It was endearing to see him go from pulling at her hair in private to gently twirling them between his fingers at dinner. Every time he played pool and she was leaning against the empty table across from his, without fail, he would find a way to drag his fingers along her waist when he brushed past her. It always tickled and she would tell him to stop. He would just wink and smirk, "You're my lucky charm, sugar." 

It was just these little things that added up. The one memory that stuck out to her was a couple weeks ago. 

~

It was one of those lazy off days and the crew decided to have a rematch of their beach game. Sahara sat on a lounging chair with his spare aviators she had stolen from him, watching them run around shirtless. It was an eye candy fest and she definitely wasn't immune. After a couple of quarters, the game ended and everyone jogged to the benches to grab their things. 

Jake made his way right to Sahara with a wide grin. 

"Couldn't stay away from me, could you, sweetheart?" His devilish smirk made its way onto his face. She shook her head, amused. That was Jake-speak for 'You came!' "Of course, I came. You asked me to." She teased him and he gave her a flat look. He then dropped to her lap and without realising, laced his fingers with hers.  "Shhh," He pressed his index tenderly against her lips, "I have a reputation to uphold you know." He couldn't help but admire how soft her hands were and started to play with them absentmindedly. It was one of the rare times he was holding her hand and they both decided right there and then, it was their favourite thing to do. 

And of course, just on cue Rooster interrupted them. He looked down at their interlaced hands then back at Hangman as if he couldn’t believe it. Jake noticed the looks and stared him down. “What are you looking at, Bradshaw?” “Nothing, you guys are cute.” Rooster had a knowing grin as he gestured to their hands. On instinct, Jake pulled away. Rooster headed to the rest of the team, chuckling to himself. Sahara frowned at the interaction. She never did understand their odd tense rivalry-friendship dynamic they had going on. How easy it was for them to get under each other’s skins so easily. 

“You know you don’t always have to let him get to you.” She said gently, grabbing his hand again. “And I think we’re very cute.” She leaned in and softly brushed her lips against his. After that day on the beach, Jake felt more reassured being touchy with her. She certainly wasn’t complaining, it was a nice change. 

~

Coming back to the present, she kept a small smile for him while she looked at the rest of them to keep their latest discussion under wraps. She didn’t want to scare him off. She knew deep down if they confronted him with feelings, he would run off without a second thought. Her hands shook ever so slightly, hesitating. Then realised she was being ridiculous. Him being stuck to her like an octopus was a sign he was fine with her being touchy. Finally, she wrapped her arms around his. 

"They were just telling me how you left them hanging in the sky and how Phoenix told you off." She relayed the story she was told earlier. He huffed at his classmate.  "You always take the opportunity to put me down with my dates, don't you Phoenix?" He narrowed his eyes.  "You do that all by yourself." Both Phoenix and Sahara spoke at the same time. They chuckled before high-fiving. He reluctantly removed his arm from her waist to swat away the high five.  "You're supposed to be on my side!" He poked her side, making her chuckle.  “I am on your side." She turned her head to kiss his cheek and he cheekily turned his head to kiss her lips. Before it could turn into another make out, Rooster decided to be a little shit and coughed teasingly. "Get a room!"  He was loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Sahara blushed at the comment while Hangman rolled his eyes. He detached himself from her for a moment to hold her hand and started to walk away. 

"Well don't mind if we do." He said so matter of factly, it didn't even register what was happening to Sahara until she was being dragged away to the exit. She just smiled at everyone, waving and calling out goodbyes as they left the bar. 

Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha)

Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha, ha)

The moment he had parked the car, he made a beeline for her lips. He couldn't keep his hands off her. He went from caressing her face to roaming his hands all over her body and finally holding her waist to pull her over to his lap. She squealed in surprise into his mouth as he did that. It gave him access to slip his tongue in. He moaned in pure ecstasy when she pulled his hair in response. He had been waiting hours for this. Sure, the party was fun but really all he had wanted to do that day was stay in with Sahara. He could somewhat admit it to himself now. He hadn’t fucked anyone else in the last 6 months. He liked her. She was his happy place. There was no where he felt more safe than in her arms. Though usually, he had her arms pinned above her head. 

They started making their way back to his apartment, their lips still connected. As they reached his door, he turned her around and kept kissing her while he had his back to the door to unlock it. By some miracle, he managed to open it and dragged her in. She kicked the door closed with a back kick and moaned into his mouth as he nibbled at her bottom lip. Her hands started to roam under his shirt while his fingers were tangled in her hair. He started to guide her towards the bed as if they hadn’t done this every other night for the last few months. She giggled against his lips as he pulled her down with him as he fell onto the bed. They broke apart for a moment as she landed on his chest. 

"Hi." She said, looking up at him and her eyes were shining. There she was. He sat up and tugged her over to his lap, making her straddle him. He reached out and tucked her hair back gently.  "Hi." He echoed as brought his hand down to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her jaw. "Are you feeling better now?" 

She frowned slightly as she got comfortable loosely wrapping her legs around his waist. "What do you mean?" "You had on a fake smile for half the night." He ran his thumb over her lips. She didn’t realise how well he knew her, it came as a pleasant surprise. She quirked an eyebrow, "So you know all my smiles now, do you Hangman?" She teased him, not quite answering the question. Now it was his turn to frown, deeply. He didn't realise when or how it had changed but he didn't like being called Hangman by her. 

"First of all, who's Hangman? I'm Jake to you, darlin'. Second, of course I know all your smiles. I know you, Sahara." 

Everything seemed to stop when he called her by her name. She stiffened ever so slightly at her name. Now, that was a first. It surprised her. He never called her that. It was always a cheesy pet name. She always assumed it's so he wouldn't get her and the other girls' names mixed up. Tonight felt different. It was the way he said it too. Soft and gentle. Like an intimate secret between the two. She started to heat up, blush creeping up her cheeks - loving the way her name rolled off his tongue. She buried her face into his neck, desperately trying to hide her shock and the effect it had on her. She started to trail kisses from the column of his throat, slowly making her way up his jaw. Hopefully it was distracting enough to keep the questions off her. 

"I know you too, Jake. You seemed upset with Coyote." She mumbled in between kisses. Jake groaned, unable to concentrate on anything but her lips on him. She grinned at how well it worked. She finally found her way to his lips and gave him a deep kiss before brushing his hair back gently. "What were the two of you brooding about?"   "It was nothing." He waved her off, letting out an impatient huff when she pulled away. Immediately, he remedied that by bringing her face back to him. She giggled at his eagerness.  "Fine, pillow talk later." She obliged him, threading her fingers through his hair and kissing him. The birthday pilot smiled contently. He reached behind her to unzip her dress carefully. 

She frowned ever so slightly.  "You always rip my dresses off, what gives?"  "Isn't this your favourite dress?"  "No, it's similar because I know you liked it so much when we first met but you ripped it." She tried to look annoyed but honestly, him ruining that dress was the hottest thing he'd ever done. Favouritism be damned. She then leaned down to his ear, her breath fanning against the shell of it, "So I bought another one for today, just so you could take it off." 

He almost came in his pants right there at her seductive tone. He grinned and gave her an excited look, 'This, just for me?' She nodded to confirm and he gleefully tore it off before dragging her down under the sheets with him.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try And if I get burned, at least we were electrified I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about

She couldn’t help but beam up at him after they were done. There was something different about tonight. They could both feel it. It didn’t feel so disconnected and everything felt so much more magnified. Their emotions were running high and intense. If her crescent nail marks on his bedpost were anything to go by. It felt like they put everything on the line. She turned to his nightstand and opened up the drawer where she kept warm towelettes for them to clean up. She passed him a roll while she undid hers to clean herself up. Before she could bring it down, Jake pressed his towel against her. “Here, let me. Just relax.” He had her rest against the pillows. He worked his way down her thighs and started wiping down the mess they made. God, what a beautiful mess it was. 

She was moved by the gesture. Usually he would just clean himself up, they’d get a glass of water separately and she’d head home. Tonight really was a first for many things. She then took her towel and started to clean him up. Just as she wiped him down gently, Jake shot her a dangerous look, “Careful now, we wouldn’t want to start Round 3.” 

She rolled her eyes at how horny he always seemed to be. “Oh hush and let me do this for you.” She continued, taking as much care as she usually does with everything she does. Now it was his turn to lie back down and watch her intently. There was an intimacy to their ritual tonight that wasn’t there before. Jake can’t say he didn’t enjoy it. 

Once they were done, like clockwork, Sahara went to get them glasses of water. He didn’t know what came over him but he had the idea to run a bath for them. He grabbed his favourite bath bombs from his Lush drawer and headed to the bathroom. He drew the bath and picked out the galaxy bath bomb, dropping it in. He then heard Sahara’s melodic voice break through the room. “Jake, where did you go?”  “In here, sweetheart!” He called out to her and poked his head out with a delicious smile. He then gestured for her to come in. 

She raised an eyebrow at him being in the bathroom. She didn’t know why he needed her there when he was probably peeing but he’s the birthday boy, she was going to indulge him. She gingerly stepped into the bathroom and gaped at the sight before her. Her eyes immediately glowed with warm affection. The bubbles glowed in the dim light and he was already submerged in the tub, looking so deliciously inviting. 

“Isn’t it your birthday? I’m supposed to be pulling out all the stops. You’re making me look bad, Hangman.” She teased as she walked over to the edge of the tub. He glared at the use of his callsign.  “Jake.” He practically growled, correcting her. “I love how that always gets you hot and bothered.” She stuck her tongue out at him. His glare and annoyance disappeared quickly at her teasing. God, he loved her. He really did. He felt it earlier in bed. They went to another plane of existence when riding their highs.  “You want to see hot and bothered, Sahara darlin’?” His usual mischievous grin replaced his gloomy pout from moments ago. She knew that look. It had gotten her into trouble before. Before she could react, he pulled her into the bathtub. 

“JAKE!” She screamed as she fell into the tub with a splash. He was laughing at her all wet.  “All wet and screaming all for me, just the way I like it.” He smirked as she came up for air. She just rolled her eyes and splashed him. “That was FOUL, Hangman.”  “Call me that again.” He threatened, his tone light as he grabbed her waist and pulled her against his chest. Without prompting, she curled her arms around his neck.  “What are you going to do about it?” She taunted him. Her legs were already locking his in between her thighs. She was rubbing against his length. Out of habit, he gripped her thighs as he gasped. She hummed in satisfaction at the sound. 

“When - when did you get so good at teasing?” He could barely get the words out.  “Learnt from the best.” She sent him a smirk to rival his. He had created a monster and he adored her. She closed the gap between them and kissed him passionately. She had her fingers laced through his soft hair, her other hand stroking the nape of his neck and bit on his bottom lip just the way he liked it. He moaned with pleasure into her mouth, allowing her tongue to slip in as she deepened the kiss. 

It was all heightened tonight between them. They could have sworn electricity passed through them in that kiss. Sahara put everything on the line. She wanted him to know how she felt without saying it. That she felt the same and he shouldn’t be scared to tell her. 

He was feeling all of it. His body worked to catch up with the intensity of the moment. His arms around her waist tightened, bringing her close to him until there wasn't an atom between them. His hands roamed her back before making his way to her soft and silky hair. He couldn't quite explain it but he could feel her emotions. He definitely got the message. He never realised how in tune with each other they had become until this moment. It was bound to happen. He was bringing her home basically every night. 

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah) All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from holding back from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha) Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

They came up for air a few minutes later, reluctantly pulling away from each other. Their arms were comfortably around the other, still connecting them. They didn't know what to say. The kiss had quite literally taken their breath away. 

They can't remember which one of them leaned in first but soon enough their foreheads were resting against the other's. They just sat there in silence for a few minutes, just taking in each other and thinking how they ended up here. 

Sahara knew she couldn't do this anymore. She was in too deep with her feelings. Never mind if Jake potentially felt the same. If he couldn't say it soon, she can't just stay wasting her time waiting. She was only going to get hurt. She had to tell him. Her hands were trembling again. How much she desperately pinned for this man was ridiculous. He didn't even feel the same way! She parted her lips to tell him. To finally let him go. She was even going to use the godawful line, 'We still can be friends. You've become my best friend in the last few months.' But she didn't want that. She didn't want to be his stupid fucking friend. 

Then he said the one thing she never expected to fall from his lips. 

"Sahara," He said with such care and tenderness as he deliberated his next words. Her world finally felt like it stopped spinning. It was powerful how he grounded her so easily with her name. 

"I love you." 

Flashback when you met me Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me Flashback to my mistakes My rebounds, my earthquakes Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth of me

Jake Seresin never really believed in love. At least not for himself. Some people just weren't meant for the white picket fence life. He knew that early on in his life. He was always meant to be in the sky. He bore all the risks. That's why it was so easy being with Javy. They were both in the same field, they were best friends and understood each other and their life. Then Jake just had to go fuck that up. He couldn't handle the commitment. Javy eventually wanted to settle down. He wasn't ready. 

Now he knew better. Javy was his first love. Sahara? She was his forever. 

The last few months that had been building up to this even if he didn't know it. His love for her creeped up on him when he least expected it. He should have known. He should have realised when he went from just admiring her physicality, he found himself enamoured by the little things. 

How she lit up whenever she talked about the things she loved and her day, the way her nose scrunched when she was annoyed with something or allergy season was starting to kick in. It's the way she knew him better than anyone else, anticipating his moods, wants and needs. How he could do the exact same for her. She saw past all the bells and whistles of being Hangman. She found Jake and loved him unconditionally. It's how they saw each other beyond their reputations when no one else did. 

He loved her. It all came down to this moment and he had to tell her. He edged back ever so slightly to get her reaction. He hoped she felt the same but knew better than to expect it. 

I love you. The words were echoing through her mind. She couldn't believe he actually said it. She simply stared back at him, gaping at him ever so slightly.

"You know a picture lasts longer." Jake couldn't handle the serious silence and just had to break the tension. She splashed at him.  "Don't ruin it! Give me a moment." She sounded exasperated but really pleased at the confession. His hands cupped her jaw and caressed it gently.  "I really do mean it, Sahara. I think I might have loved you from that first lap dance." He winked playfully and she rolled her eyes at his flirting.

She thought back to all those moments she could feel something between them but never entertained. All because he just wasn't the commitment guy. He was never one for words either way. It was the way he always put her first and was there for her. Be it him always ordering her favourite drink first, or saving her a seat. Somehow, always managing to find her in a crowded room. He was always there to lend a listening ear and be there for her. She had never felt more in tune and in love with anyone else. 

This was one of the rare times he couldn't read her. Only because he was so nervous about her reaction, it was clouding his usually clear judgement. At her deep-in-thought expression, he was quick to reassure her with a soft nudge,  "You don't have to say it back if you're not ready. I just wanted you to know." 

The quiet seriousness of his tone broke her heart. She could tell how scared he was. The way the sea foam eyes she loved so much were searching hers for any indication she felt the same. For some semblance of why being vulnerable was worth it. Her arms hanging loosely from his neck left to snake up his arms. Her hands tenderly held his wrists as her thumbs ran over the back of his hands soothing him. 

"Of course, I love you too. Maybe not from the first lap dance," She chuckled softly as she rested her forehead against his, "but I adore you, Jake Seresin. I can barely remember life without you. I don't think I've ever met anyone who sees and cares for me the way you do. You, yourself sir, are a wonder and I'm lucky to love you. She carded her fingers through his hair. 

His smile was wide enough to split his face in half. Scooping her up in his arms, he started to pepper kisses all over her face. In between breathless kisses, he whispered to her, "Say it again." 

"I love you, Jake." She giggled against his lips.  "I love you too, Sahara." They enjoyed the rest of their bath, giggling away at their new found relationship status. 

And I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side My one and only, my lifeline I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side

That night was the best sleep either of them had gotten in months. They were where they belonged: wrapped up in each other. Jake had his arms securely wrapped around Sahara - one holding her waist while the other resting across her chest, his hand lazily cupping her boob. She had her head tucked perfectly under his chin and their legs were comfortably tangled together. 

Jake was the first to wake up, he happily hummed in a soft tone so as not to wake his girlfriend up. He grinned at the title that popped into his head. His girlfriend. He liked that a little too much for someone who spent his adult life running from relationship labels. He hugged her gently, making sure she was real and wouldn't disappear anytime soon. His hand moved from her boob to brush her hair from her face. He was content to watch her till she woke up. 

Soon, she started to stir ever so slightly and feeling his gaze on her, she decided to tease him. Her eyes were still closed as she spoke in a sleepy tone that Jake found just absolutely adorable. "It's a little hard to sleep with you staring, creep."  His smile widened and flirted, “Well I’m a little hard staring at you, sweets.” He pressed his length against her to show off. She couldn’t help but laugh at his cheesy joke. She turned around to face him, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck in their favourite position. 

“It’s 9am, Jake, too early for this.” She rested her forehead against his, breathing him in for a moment before leaning down to kiss him. He kissed her back hungrily, causing her to grip his shoulders and moan. As they held on close to each other, they couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky. 

Neither of them ever thought they’d end up here.

Jake with his emotional baggage and not so stellar reputation as a team player. He was also never one to commit. He never saw himself settling down, until her. Now he could picture a whole future. 

Sahara had her fair share of long term partners and they were all lovely but this moment right here was perfect. No one understood her like he did. He knew every one of her idiocracies, he knew how to set her entire body on fire with a single touch and she knew him just as well. No one had ever come close to the way she felt about him.  

"I love you." She said softly as they pulled away for air. He gripped her tighter, never wanting to let go. 

"I love you too." 

There is an indentation In the shape of you Only bought this dress so you could take it off You made your mark on me, golden tattoo Only bought this dress so you could take it off

[huimangseok]

Summary:

You have known Hoseok since freshman year but for some reason never got the chance to hang out. Strangely enough you have a mutual close friend as part of 2 separate inner circles which is Yoongi, who will also play the bridge to your relationship.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Friends (?) to lovers, fluff, (eventual) smut, college au

Warnings: cursing, drinking, fights/arguments, self-doubts, insecurities (ongoing list)

chapters: one , two , hobi pov

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It is currently 3am and you know you have to get up at 6 to get in time for school by 7. It was your college foundation day and you're one of the representatives for your department. Responsibilities include making your department look good in front of the college board and president. And yet, here you are, mindlessly scrolling on your phone, with sleep nowhere in sight.

You stumble upon one Facebook story that caught your attention.

Hoseok is watching the Game of Thrones finale...

You've already finished the last episode when it aired so you know which part he was currently on. Without thinking much, you replied:

Y/n 3:15am: "Did they kiss already?"

Hoseok 3:15am: SPOILER!!!! I wasn't there yet :(

Y/n 3:16am: oh no..

Y/n 3:16am: sorry...my bad :D

Hoseok 3:18: shouldn't you be sleeping already? you'll be late again...

You've been in a few classes together so he knows you have a habit of coming in late to class quite a few times...and so does he. Sometimes you even find each other late at the same time.

Y/n 3:20am: says YOU! shouldn't you be sleeping?

Hoseok 3:21am: well i was trying to catch up on Thrones but I don't think I want to keep watching anymore

Y/n 3:22am: I'll just tell you how it goes lol

Hoseok 3:25am: go to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow

Hoseok 3:26am: whoever comes to school first wins a coffee from the other!

Y/n 3:26am: ok i hope you're ok with instant coffee!

shit why the fuck am I smiling while chatting with him???

Hoseok 3:27am: I want good coffee 😡

Y/n 3:29am: then you better make sure you come to school early! 😘 night!

Read 3:29 am

Putting your phone down, your chest tightens a bit. What was that interaction? Is it the lack of male attention that got you squirming over a short conversation about Game of Thrones and coffee? Is it the geek in you? Whatever it is, it made you put your phone away and close your eyes to try and find your sleep.

You woke up 3 hours later, feeling a bit more excited to go to school than usual. Like you were expecting some kind of surprise and it made you feel giddy inside. It takes you around 30 minutes to get ready since you already prepared everything the night before. While on the bus ride to school you receive a message.

Hoseok 6:45am: don't be late!

You bite your lower lip and fight the smile growing on your face as you typed your reply.

Y/n 6:46am: can't wait for my coffee!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Disappointment was evident on your face when you get to the school lobby and it was empty--like you were expecting someone to wait for you there and they didn't show. Nonetheless, you rushed to the courtyard where all the rest of the students were at this point, preparing for the event later in the day. Once you get there, you look around the area, searching for a familiar face when you were disrupted by your best friend, Jungkook.

"Finally! I thought you'd be late again. Come on, we've got so much left to do!!" He whined while dragging you to a table at the corner of your department's area.

"Hey, I'm punctual today. Cut me some slack."

"Yeah, pretty shocking." Jungkook teased with wide eyes which made you smile.

"Okay, where do we begin?"

Time flew by and you didn't have time to even check your phone. The program had started and everyone was hyped up, freshmen going around and introducing themselves to everybody they haven't met yet, seniors basically chilling around and leaving all the work for the sophomores and juniors. Once you had time for a quick break, you pull out your phone, completely forgetting about your bet, you were curious as to why you had a message from Hoseok. Upon reading his chat it all comes back to you.

Hoseok 1:12PM: have you had your lunch already?

Y/n 1:30PM: hi, no. I took a break just now.

Hoseok 1:31PM: do you wanna grab something to eat?

It took you a minute to think of a reply, trying not to overthink the situation. You were never alone in a place with just you and Hoseok, heck, you were never even that close to even eat together. So why was he suddenly asking you to hang out and grabe a bite?

Stop overthinking and just say what you want to say... You thought to yourself.

Y/n 1:33PM: sure, where are you? :)

Hoseok 1:34PM: You really need to be more aware of your surroundings y/n...

You frowned with a smile as you look up from your phone and scanned the area. Not too far from where you were sitting was Hoseok leaning on a lamp post, smirking and waved at you. You could have sworn you felt your chest tightened again at the sight of him.

Y/n 1:36PM: coming ;)

You typed and quickly looked up at him and he subsequently checks his phone to read your reply to which he smiles at his phone then nods at you.

"Hey I'm just gonna go out for a bite with a friend. Want anything?" You ask Jungkook who was busy with whatever game he has downloaded on his phone.

"Hmm maybe a burger? Or whatever you're getting. Thanks!!" He doesn't even bother to look at you but you laugh softly anyways.

"Okay, but please text me if anything happens. I won't be long." Jungkook just nods so you take your bag and make your way to Hoseok, who was watching you walk towards him, not even breaking eye contact.

"Hi." He smiles down at you. Did you ever notice how tall he was? It seems like you never did since you never stood so close to him to realize he was towering over you.

"Hi." You smiled back as you started walking.

"So what coffee are you planning to get me?" Hoseok asks in his teasing voice while fighting a smile. Your eyes were wide in shock as you let out a huff while fighting a laugh as well.

"What???! I totally beat you here today!"

Hoseok takes out his phone and shows you a picture from his gallery. It was a picture of the huge clock in the lobby and it says 6:45AM. The timestamp and date on the picture seconds this proof.

"That is so unfair, you literally live 10 minutes away!" You whined while stomping your feet as you walk.

Hoseok laughs, he finds this side of you, one he's never seen before, really cute. "Rules are rules, Y/n. You're getting me coffee."

"Fiiiine... What do you want?" You accept your defeat.

"Yessss!" Hoseok bites his lower lip as he smiles and playfully wraps your arm around his. You have no idea where you were going but you just follow Hoseok as he leads the way.

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☀︎ Author's note: this is my first time in years trying out writing again. I got so inspired to write recently that I just poured everything out. This might be a slow burn or it might be a quick one. I would definitely love to hear your thoughts on my work! Thank you! 고마워요!

[katsumiiii]

I can’t believe I’m already at 1K bro. I honestly never thought my blog would grow to be what it is now I cannot thank you all enough for making it possible. I cannot explain the happiness I feel right now!!

To my followers: I wouldn’t have been able to have this moment if it weren’t for you. I appreciate each and every one of you all, to the silent readers to the ones who always like and reblog my stuff. I love you all and I thank you for rocking with me on this journey

To my mutuals: I love you all so so so much, you never fail to make me laugh on the daily. Seeing you interact with each other and being able to interact with you all will always be the highlight of my days. Thank all of you for putting up with the random bullshit I post everyday on here, I cannot explain how much I love and appreciate you

Now it’s about to get sappy !!

@mypimpademia @myhoodacademia: Without you I honestly would have never created this blog, your beautiful works inspired me to want to create my own blog. You made me feel wanted within the anime community and I wanted to share that with others, so I thank you so much for that

@lilsparkyswife @myhoodacademia: I just met you this year and it feels like I’ve known y’all forever. I enjoy our playful banters, you always seem to make me laugh even when I’m feeling like shit. You guys really are like my sisters and I wouldn’t trade y’all for the world. Thank you guys for rocking with me through it all, I love y’all so so much !!

@plutropica @denkisdurag @katsuflossy: Y’all deadass make me laugh every time you pop up on my screen. Y’all are like my badass cousins who are always getting into some sort of trouble (with the exception of ni!! she’s the older sista!) Thank y’all for making me smile with your weird ass jokes 💀

@ccxiia @manjirodni @hood-nami @plutosexc: Y’all really be making me crack up. From the dumbass comments some of you be making to the outta pocket jokes, you always always always keep me chuckling. I’m so glad you guys are apart of my journey and I love y’all

@blackweebtrash @yuujisbby @angiebug101: MY HYPE BABESSSSSS, y’all are always hyping me up whether it be with my writing or just in general. You guys make me feel so confident about not only myself, but my ability to write. Thank you guys so much for always giving me a boost when I need it, I love you sm <3

@ohstunnah @katsdni @luv-calcifer: Please I’m so in love with y’all. Y’all always feed my addiction to anime characters with your little scenarios and headcanons. You never fail to make me flustered in some sort of way. I love y’all’s energy and vibes, they make me feel at home. I love you guys sm <3

@lovelytetsuro @morosis-haze: YOU GUYS ARE THE SWEETEST EVA!! I love yawl to DEATHHHHH, you’re so sweet and kind no matter what the circumstance. You all deserve the absolute world and I love y’all sm

@0risha @wockeshaa: I love arguing with y’all it’s honestly so entertaining. You both support me endlessly and I appreciate you so so much for that. I love both of you to death

@reihara: REIIIIIIIII!!! I love making fun of your stupid ass, your reactions are hilarious bro. You’re always so kind and open minded, I love talking to you and I’m so glad I met you, love you babes !!

@asaincy: BESTIIIIEEEEEE, another one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. You’re so sweet and so understanding, I could talk to you for hours and hours. I love you so much and appreciate you more than you could imagine

If I forgot anyone I’m sorry !! I love you all so so much and I thank you for always being here for me!!

[opaljm]

not gonna lie, but i liked you better when you were just doing your own little thing on tumblr. youre hybrid stories were so good and your hades!taehyung story was so promising. but now instead of writing and posting fics- literally where is eye of the tiger it's been more than a year since you teased it and where is turbulent part three?! your becoming a shooter for people that dont even like you as much as you like them. why do you hype up hantaev and chateautae when they never hype you up naia. i dont think they've ever read a single thing by you either. naia their never gonna become your bsfs and its pathetic to see you keep trying 💀 you should just write and post your fics (you know the ones that we ACTUALLY WANT) why did you even release yours truly. just give us eott youve had more than a year to work on it i dont get it. the more you draw it out the less people will care when you finally post it.

Um wow. Okay so, my readers know I have a policy of not answering hate asks and in general the treatment I get from my readers is so good and so pure and I'm always grateful for it but it seems like this motherfucker wants to ruin that relationship, but you know what? I have thick skin and I don't even know if you're actually one of my readers or you're one of those toxic anons that @hantaev and @chateautae have, that decided to come over here and bother me now.

The reasons why I'm suspicious whether or not you're even one of my followers or just fine combed my blog to find ways to hurt me is because I have actually explicitly stated why there is no Turbulent part 3 yet (It's a drabble series that I work on when I have inspiration for it or when I am not working on other works. But I literally have so many WIPs right now. All my readers know that Turbulent is the least of my priorities and they're so respectful of that).

And when it comes to Eye of the Tiger, I've literally stated that I've lost over 20k words of the fic when the file got corrupted and that actually put me into a slump and not want to write that fic anymore. Since then I've decided to completely rework the plot into something that I would want to write again. I had made it into a chaptered form before changing it back to a one-shot. It's even on my list of WIPs for this year. But let's assume for a second that you actually have read my stories and you're not a random anon from the depths of hell. Congratulations! You have delayed Eye of the Tiger for everyone. I was going to work on it next month but now it looks like everyone is going to have to wait until August at earliest. I also don't care if you think that Eye of the Tiger's anticipation is going to die down and no one ends up reading it when I finally do post it. It's not like you have clairvoyance and can see the future.

Now moving onto you insulting Yours, Truly and saying no one wants it. Anon, just because you love Taehyung to the alarming degree that you keep harassing creators for their Taehyung fics just cuz it's not set to your specification or whatever the fuck does not mean that everyone else is such a rabid crazy Taehyung stan. It literally makes no sense for me to put more importance onto your opinion of Yours, Truly over the hundreds of people who have reblogged and hearted it and even asked to be on the tag list. Not to toot my own horn but I really like Yours, Truly and I wish you would open your eyes so you could enjoy it like everyone else. Except I don't know that I want someone like you on my page so 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you don't like Yours, Truly and won't be able to bother me about it in the future.

I left this for last because it's literally so stupid that I even have to address this. Anon, I don't think you realize this but Hads and Sammy are friends in real life, they are the type of friends that talk every day, facetime and text, and send each other presents. Not only that but they are also the same age. IN contrast, I am... get this... their online friend. I am not as deeply involved in their lives as they are in each others lives. And you know what that's perfectly fine and I'm okay with it, maybe one day it'll turn into something IRL maybe not, it's cool we're chilling either way. Also, I can't believe I even have to say this but anon do you realize that Sammy and Hads are both 19 and I am 23? I'm actually rubbing my forehead right now because there is literally no situation where it's normal or acceptable for a 23 year old to be jealous of a relationship that two 19 year olds have with each other. I just treat them like my little babies that I'm so so proud of.

If you think I'm trying too hard to be their friends, I feel like you genuinely have never seen people act kindly towards others without expecting anything in return. It literally costs me nothing to interact with them and brighten up their days. Also maybe it's my age but I'm not insecure about whether or not my mutuals read my fics or constantly reblog and promote it. We are all so busy I'm never going to ever demand that from someone. Sammy and Hads don't demand anything from me either. How can you say Hads as never read anything by me when she's listed as the beta reader of Yours, Truly (yet another reason why I think you have never read it but are just insulting it because you can)? Sammy has given me private updates of how much she's enjoyed my work. Just because she or Hads never posted a review for YOU to see on multiple works doesn't mean that they don't read and support my stuff. And it's so weird that you're claiming that about them but you're not holding me to the same standard? The last time I reviewed one of Sammy's Maybe I Do chapters was probably for chapter 4 but I've privately been keeping her updated on my progress with reading her fic. I haven't even read Hads' Before Dawn yet. But you know what? It's fine. We're all okay with it and we don't have insecurities like that, we understand that we will all read and support each other's fics when we can and when we're free. I feel like as you get older you realize that friendship is not just what you can physically show off to others its more so all the ways you can be there for someone. I thank Allah that Sammy, Hads, and I are all so much more understanding than you are and that there is not even an ounce of toxicity in our relationship.

Lastly, maybe I'm not jealous of Sammy and Hadiyah being best friends because I have my own best friends? @vivian146 is literally the light of my life and we're going on strong for almost 7 years 😭😭😭