#the post just bugged me a lot I hope I got my thoughts accross well

[x-raykinks]

Just saw a post along the lines of "reblog if you are STD free".

You know what's more important than being STI/STD free? Testing and communicating your status to your partners.

You can have HIV or HSV or HPV and still fuck nasty. You can give your partner an STI on accident and still have a good relationship after. It's the communication that matters, about barriers and testing status alike. It's about caring about your health and those you fuck, not about putting shame on those who aren't STD free.

[fugoffbitchdarnit]

february 13 2018 ; consistent thoughts from today

today i kept thinking about a lot of the same things; an old friend-ish, anxiety, presence, and some other things i cant remember now cuz im thinking too much about this digital diary!

ok so, my old friend-ish. i add the ish because she (max*) she was never fully my friend i would just see her around for a while time in my life/whereas an ordinary old friend is just my old actual genuine friend that is not anymore. i still follow her on instagram. so max and her best friend *zoe have been excessively best friends the whole time i knew them. when i say this i mean they would always post bff pix all the time and just really put it out there about their awesome friendship. i hope im getting this point accross. you know those friends that are always posting pix together and are like “me and my bitch” or “when u both wear ur red boots” or “i mis u so much wtf y has it only been 13 hours” ???? recently from the internet i noticed zoe started dating a girl and was with her more than max. and maxs post were more lonely. then 2 days ago i saw posts that zoe and her gf got married! i was thinking a lot about max and how she kinda doesnt have her best friend anymore. i dont even know how i think so much about this. its just instagram u know? so weird how it takes affect on me and just my personal thoughts and going into what i think about other peoples personal thoughts. wow i thought writing about this would be a lot easier but i guess im just not a very good writer yet! my writing is just like little txts message blurbs all combined in one. so yeah moral of the story.... i never even liked max that much, she always kinda bugged me! even the bff posts were cringe to me,. but now this marriage just outta the blue (to me) makes me think aw for her. she just kinda lost her best friend is what i think. poor lil baby

ok to jump into my bff, hes a boy and we fuck all the time and we can never actually date, we’ve tried and it just gets weird, we know each other so well its just meant to be. i hate marriage but i will probably marry him hahaha. super weird. his name is ernie*. ok so he’s always been the happiest guy ever but lately since ive grown and learned more about depression n shit like that i know that its way more common than anyone thinks....ofcourse. sooooo hes the kind of guy that can be very good at staying present without even knowing thats what he’s doing. he also will just repress shit because thats super easy for anyone to do. so when it comes out its in weird twitches that happens in sudden quick times. now he’s been getting anxiety and its like hahathats just ur anxiety bro!! why am i writing this!? i dont know. jk i do know and i know that i say “i dont know” when im thinking im stupid for doing/saying something so i just say that. i am doing this because i want to get good at writing in a diary again and it feels good and almost productive doing this. i’ll get good! for now these are not read by anyone, maybe one day it’ll turn into a movie!! hahahaha

i forgot all my good points that i thought i would write about today. goodnight.

88******stars on names because they have been changed to keep my digial diary anonymous and to protect myself and the people i write about*****

just remembered that i was gonna write about my scratcher winnings today! ernie bought me a 1$ scratcher and i won $2. then i got a $2 dollar scratcher and won $5 then got a 5$ scratcher and won $10 then got 2 five dollar scratchers then lost one of them but won another $10! then lost and bought another 2 dollar scratcher. then won $2 dollars on that! so played it again and got another 2 dollar scratcher then won another ticket, then lost. the end ! oh happy day! good classic night w ernie.