#so he was definitely getting ready to get out of kier
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a-zalea-garden · 1 year ago
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Well well well
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1. Val is an emotion WRECK like one of those people who cries about everything. He angry cries and happy cries and sad cries and cries for no reason
2. He definitely knows flower language and he uses it with bouquets and gifts for Spelldon but spells doesn’t know it and doesn’t even think about it so he’s just like “oh thanks Kier 😄” and never knows the secret message behind them
3. Valentine gets cold super really easy but Spelldon (being a grandson of Helios and all) is always warm so he just clings to him whenever they’re together. ESPECIALLY since Kieran can’t go into the actual sun
4. He CANNOT swim for the life of him
5. He can’t stay focused on one thing for long so he’s one of those people who talks with his hands and walks around while on the phone (which I think he does in WDGFIL but I haven’t seen it for a while). His leg is AGGRESSIVELY bouncing when he sits down unless he really tries not to. He always feels like he needs to be productive or needs to be DOING something and can’t just relax
6. He’s super impulsive and doesn’t really think things through when he does them.
7. he’s RIDICULOUSLY smart but he’s also REALLY DUMB. Like he is so good at ready people and conversation and people skills in general, and he loves biology (in canon) and the sciences and history and stuff, but he’s just completely clueless about life and small things in day to day life (he’s definitely killed a few house plants because he forgot they needed water)
8. He talks really fast
9. Since he doesn’t have to sleep he’s up all night just wandering or cooking
9a. I feel like he’d be really good at cooking but he cannot bake to save his life
10. He hates bugs and they freak him out. Every single one no exceptions. He physically jumps and scrambles away whenever he sees one. Spelldon thinks it’s the funniest thing ever
11. He counts in primitive Irish. It’s a thing that multilingual people count in their native language because it’s one of the first things you learn when you learn to talk.
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don’t ever talk to me or my 4500000000 niche AUs ever again
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ainosgarden · 3 years ago
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Your severance posts are making me INSANEEEEEE first of all I mentioned this in the replies to ur irv post but if you look at the way Milchik interacts with Irv in the first few episodes (or rather, does not interact with him) there is definitely something Up with them
Secondly, I simultaneously do and do not want to hear about your theories for where Burt’s storyline is heading the finale made me so sad and I just want him and Irv to be happy
thank you for enjoying my severance posts!!
it actually didn't even occur to me to read into the interactions between milchick and irving, so what you said had opened my third eye in a sense asddjkhfjkegy the possibility of irving and milchick once working together or of even irving training milchick for his job is so fucked up that i could really see it happening. i wonder how long milchick has worked at lumon and what's his story. he's clearly out of the loop from whatever alliance cobel and graner had going on, and probably very eager to shove cobel out of the picture. what happened in the finale will surely reflect badly on him as well. maybe he'll also be punished in s2...
(un)fortunately, i don't really have any theories about burt for now, since we still have little information about him as a character. for me, the fact that his outie seems to have a normal and lovely home life points to the unlikelihood of him being invested in the anti-severance cause in the first place. so he might have no idea who irving is outside (despite the high probability of irv's outie knowing who burt is). BUT, i'd like to believe that burt's outie is just as caring and daring as his innie. so when a panicked and bewildered irving shows up at his doorstep, he would do everything to help and therefore become involved in anti-severance in s2. also, i had the feeling that burt (and his partner?) might not live in lumon housing considering how faraway their house is located from the town's center. hopefully as a result, lumon doesn't keeps tabs on them as much, which means less danger for burt and irving and whatever they set out to do next.
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tswaney17 · 2 years ago
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IDBTWY Prequel - The Vow
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Happy 2 Year Anniversary IDBTWY! 2 Years? What! I've been writing and posting this for 2 years? This is insane! For all of you who have stuck with me, I am so incredibly thankful for you. And if you're new, welcome! I know it's been a hell of a long time and I've put them through the wringer. No, I'm not totally finished... 👀 But I promise things are happening. I've got things written and I'm working hard into building up parts to get us onto a weekly posting schedule so we can avoid these multi-month-long droughts. As I've mentioned, my ask box is open for snippets and questions. Feel free to send me a word and I'll post a line if I've used it in a part I currently have written. I'll get to them throughout the day and this week. Thank you again to every single one of you. I adore every comment you leave me. They truly make my day. 💙💜💚
In the meantime, here's the final prequel for IDBTWY. I had no intentions of writing another prequel, but this idea hit me, and the words kind of spilled out. Please don't come for me. Remember how far we've come from here.😬
My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​
My ao3 account: tswaney17
Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💙💚💜
Credit to @featherymalignancy​​​ for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘
Trigger warnings: language
Word Count: 2,045
Azriel heaved his last bag into the back of the car, hissing slightly as the movement tugged on his tattoos. Bootcamp was going to be a fucking bitch while they healed, but he needed the sting of the needle, the burn of the ink as it pierced his skin to help him focus on something other than the love he had to let go of.
He and his brothers had a late morning appointment at a traditional tattoo shop in Illyria the day after his and Rhys’s graduation. Cash waited on getting his Illyrian tattoos until they were all of age and could go together. A brotherly bonding moment.
Indeed, the following morning after their fight, his brother was sporting a black eye and Az had a split lip, but they put aside their feelings from the night before and stuck to their plans.
Now, a week later, any lingering anger had vanished as they helped him load up his few bags to take him to the airport.
“Is that the last of it?” Rhys asked from behind him.
He turned, catching his brother’s drawn face. The morning had been quiet, just the three of them. Rhys’s dad had said goodbye to him the night before in his unusual way, handing him his first glass of expensive whiskey that he barely choked down. He clapped him on the shoulder, which Az had to bite down on his shout of pain as he slapped his new tattoos, and that was the end of that.
And then Kier showed up. He’d been a hot, sweaty mess when he saw his uncle. But, like normal, Kier barely said a few words to him other than “good luck,” and “see you when you get back.” To the others, it was a simple send-off, but Azriel heard the underlying threat in them. Knew what would await him when he returned home.
“Yes, that’s it,” he answered, shutting the hatch of Cash’s old jeep. He glanced down at his watch, the gift Elain had given him for graduation and his recruitment. She gave it to him at the party, before they broke up. He had felt like a fucking asshole and told her he couldn’t accept it, especially after she said she sold baked goods for the last six months to buy it for him. But she refused to take no for an answer, putting it on his wrist herself.
“We should probably get going, so I don’t miss my flight.”
Rhys nodded. “Cash!” he called. “Come on, let’s go!”
“I’m coming!” Cassian shouted, coming out the front door and locking it behind him. He stopped when he reached the two of them. “You ready, brother?”
No, yes.
If he had asked him three weeks ago, his answer would’ve been yes. A definite yes. He would’ve had a plan, a future, maybe even a fiancé. Now, Azriel had nothing. His future was uncertain; a mob waiting for his return. The love of his life hated him. She was supposed to send him off today. “As much as I can be,” he said, putting on a fake smile that he knew neither of his brothers bought for a second, but they didn’t question him.
As they climbed into the car and pulled away from the curb, his chest began to tighten. This couldn’t be it—how he left things. His panic, his pain, bubbled into his throat and he felt the sudden urge to swallow the painful lump there.
Cash flipped his signal on to turn right at the stop sign down at the end of their block. It would take them to the highway and then to the airport.
“Wait!” he blurted.
His brothers looked at him—Cash from the driver’s seat and Rhys from the back.
Azriel was breathing heavily; like he had just run a marathon. “I have one stop to make before the airport.”
They shared a look in the rearview mirror. “Okay.” Cassian changed his signal and turned left, the direction that would take them to the Archeron house. He didn’t even need to ask his brother where he wanted to go—Cash just knew it.
They all did.
Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of Elain’s home and parked.
His heart thundered in his chest as he looked up at her place, one hand on the door handle of the car. He had no idea what to do or say. Would she even speak to him? Fuck, he had been such a dick to her. She probably would slam the door in his face. He’d deserve it if she did. His blood roared in his ears; breaths came out unevenly.
“Just go up there and tell her you’re sorry, that you love her, and that you’ll call her when you land,” Cash said, encouragingly. “I know whatever you guys went through was bad, but I also know that what you two had was so much stronger than that. Your love is stronger than that. I know it is, Az. Just tell her you’re sorry.”
Gods he wanted to. He wanted to so fucking badly as he stared up at the walkway to the house he’d spent so much time in. But as he continued to think about her, about the life he could offer her, Kier’s words entered his mind.
Unless you want Elain’s blood on your hands, you’ll break it off with her before it’s too late.
A cold body on the garage floor.
His brother’s lifeless eyes stared up at him.
Killer. Cold-blooded murdered.
That’s what he was. What kind of life could he offer her, love or not? He murdered his brother and covered it up. She didn’t deserve to be dragged down with his pathetic excuse of a life, with his darkness when she was destined to shine.
Elain was this beautiful, bright light and Azriel would do everything in his power to make sure that light never went out.
His hand came off the door handle. “This was a mistake,” he breathed, even as the words tore his heart in two. “I shouldn’t have come. Let’s go.”
Silence settled over the three of them.
“Az,” Rhys tried softly.
“Go!” he ordered Cash. He couldn’t be here, couldn’t let her see him. If Elain came out of that house, he would’ve lost it. “Please, just go,” he choked on his words, emotion clogging his throat.
Cassian and Rhys shared another look but didn’t argue as Cash put the car into drive and drove away.
Azriel twisted in his seat to look at the house through the back window, watching as it got smaller and smaller. As he drove away and left her in the rearview mirror, still holding his heart. He made a vow to himself then. That no matter what life threw at him, what Kier made him face, he would never let anything happen to her. That Elain Archeron would always have his protection, whether she knew it or not.
~~~~~
Elain was lying on her bed, an untouched cup of tea discarded on her bedside table. It had been a week since she and Azriel had broken up—a week of pain, of misery, of going back through their time together to try and figure out where they went wrong. He hadn’t called, hadn’t reached out to her. And she didn’t dare initiate contact first. Her sisters tried to help, but they only wanted her to talk about her feelings and Elain had never been one for opening up.
Not to anyone other than him.
He had always known what she needed. When she wanted to talk or when she’d rather sit in silence. The absence of sound—of life really—was her only companion for the last week. She hadn’t wanted anybody else but him, and it fucking hurt to know he wasn’t coming to soothe her pain.
So, her sisters left her alone to her thoughts. When those became too loud, Elain tried to sleep. But her dreams were nightmares. Nightmares filled with memories of hazel eyes, tanned skin, and beautiful, soft smiles reserved just for her.
Gods, if she only knew what she did wrong, then maybe she could’ve fixed it.  
Elain wiped under her nose with the back of her hand.
Today, however, was worse. Because today was the day he was leaving for boot camp and was set to be gone for years. The thought made her heart ache in her chest more so than it already did. She was supposed to be taking him to the airport today. Had the morning all planned out. She was going to spend the night at his place. Planned on never leaving his side until the early morning when she’d sneak out of his arms to make breakfast in bed for him. And then she was going to give him his going-away present, some scandalous photos she took on her phone in her underwear—and one she finally braved with nothing on—that she had printed before graduation.
Elain burnt those the day after he broke her heart.
As she was lying in bed, looking out the window facing her front yard, she saw Cash’s jeep pull up out front. Jumping from her bed, she went to the pane, heart hammering in her chest. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears.
He was here.
She knew what time his flight was, knew he was in the car that pulled up. Tears sprung into her eyes as she placed a palm on the glass. Az had come back to apologize. To tell her he still loved her, to explain why he did what he did.
So, she waited for him to get out of the car.
And she waited.
And she waited.
And the longer she waited, Elain felt the hope that had blossomed in her chest begin to crack. Tears ran down her cheeks as she murmured to herself, “Get out of the car, Az. Get out of the car. Please, just get out of the car. Please, Az. Come on, get out of the car.”
She pressed her forehead to the window, resting her brow against the cool glass. The blinding sun did nothing to brighten her breaking heart. “Please, Azriel. Please.” How he managed to destroy her twice would be her biggest regret; how she let him do that to her because she knew, deep down she knew. “Azriel, please get out of the car,” she mourned pathetically. “I love you, please.”
And just as easily as she built up that hope, it shattered as she saw the brake lights flash and the jeep drove away. A silent sob wracked her body while she watched the car disappear around the corner. Elain clutched the front of her shirt—his shirt, the one he gave her after he pegged her with a soccer ball. Despite it being his, she always found comfort in it and had worn it every night since he broke her heart.
Since he ripped apart her very being and left it discarded on the ground in shambles for her to pick up.
Turning away from the window, Elain slid to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees. Letting herself cry again for the man that continuously played with her heart. Showing up here felt like some sick joke. Azriel was never a cruel person, but the tears on her face and physical pain in her chest made her start to believe otherwise.
She couldn’t let herself go through it again, be hurt by him again. Her heart could only handle so much pain and misery. Even now, she didn’t think she could ever accept anyone else into her life as she had him. He had left some mark on her soul in a way no other person could and just snatched it away. Like she didn’t even matter. She fruitlessly tried to wipe away the tears running down her face.
Never again. She couldn’t do this again. Not with him. So, there on the ground of her childhood bedroom floor, Elain made a vow to herself to never let Azriel Knight into her heart again.
However, in the end, it would seem neither vow was held.
~~~~~
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My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​
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NO ANESTHESIA
kiers first meeting with Choolwe and Theo.
*******************
The guard escorting her to her car was reassuring. The attack still had her shaking.
She thanked the guard and let her go and finish with the others.
She reached in her bag to pull out her keys. Rummaging through it till she found them.
She pulled them out the keys dangling, making tiny clicking noises but there was also something else that broke the silence.
She heard some painful huffs from a few meters away.
She took her phone out turning the flashlight on. There was a man leaning against the wall holding his side.
It was him the guy that was fighting those people inside. He looked like he was in pain.
He turned with his back to the wall, he looked exhausted.
She approached him.
Then his eyes dropped and so did his body. She rushed over and caught him before he hit the ground.
She leaned him against the wall. His dark blue eyes were barely looking at her growing in and out of focus.
She pulled down his mask. Who is this guy? Definitely doesn't work here.
Some parts of his dark hair were sticking to his face and he was getting paler.
She pointed her torch to his side where his hand was, her eyes going wide as she saw what he was holding on to. He was badly wounded and bleeding.
She couldn't just leave him like this, he helped her when those people attacked. She moved next to him and placed one of his arms over her shoulder and hauled him up. He bite back a cry of pain but didn't say anything else.
"Come on, let's go get some help." Choolwe told him.
"No…… d….don't….. t…..tell….the police." He huffed.
She needed to get him help now. It's good she knew someone who could help and good thing he's sleeping over at her house now.
He leaned on her shoulder as she basically carried him and led him to the car.
She opened the door with her free hand and laid him in the back. He groaned again as she placed him on the seat.
He was still putting pressure on his wound, probably the only thing his mind knew to do.
She started the car then dialed her friend's number, she supported her phone with her shoulder and put her hands on the steering wheel.
Choolwe grew scared with each dial sound. She drove past the guards not caring to wave goodbye.
She looked back at him, he looked like he was finding it hard to stay awake.
He finally answered when she was out the gates and on the road.
"I'm coming home, someone's been shot, Please get ready."
A weak voice from behind scared her.
"Where....ar...e you taking……. me?" It was the man asking for help.
The sudden question scared and she dropped her phone.
She couldn't hear her friend's worried questions from the other end.
***************
Finally she got there. It wasn't too far from her work place anyway.
When she got home a brown haired man opened the gate for her .
He was clearly just pulled out of bed. He walked towards her as she parked the car in the yard.
He was still in his nightwear but had his rectangle glasses on.
She stepped out of the car and he froze. He looked down at her shirt.
"Are you hurt?" He asked worriedly. He surveyed her looking for any injuries.
"Theo. Theo. It's not mine." She reassured him.
She took his hand and led him to the backseat of her car.
He was horrified at the sight of a bleeding man in her car.
He turned to her.
"Choolwe what the heck is this?"
"I don't know all I know is that he saved me."
"Take him to a hospital." He argued.
"I think he won't be safe there and I can only trust you. Also you're a doctor"
"I'm only a resident." He argued. He was graduating soon but still not a doctor. But still she has to be insane bringing in some bleeding stranger for him.
"You've still done this before........ You know what there's no use arguing right now he's losing blood." She pleaded.
"Goddamn it........ Fine...... Let's bring him in." The longer they spend here the more blood he loses.
He was barely conscious now but still gripping at his side.
They got him out of the car and into the house.They each lead him in taking a side and throwing each arm over their shoulder.
The man tried to lift his head. He could barely stay awake.
"Wher……...ve. …….yo…..tak…...meh….?" He asked his voice slurred.
"Don't worry we're helping you." Choolwe answered.
He didn't say anything else at least not anything they could understand. He just mumbled nonsense. He just let them lead him away.
He was barely able to keep himself upright, stumbling on his feet.
************
They put him in one of the rooms. Theo handed her a cloth and she placed it on his side he hissed trying not to scream, he tried to squirm away but was too weak to move.
Theo came back with a bunch of things he would need to treat him.
He handed her a tray with the medical stuff he needed to treat the wound. Then he grabbed some white gloves.
He checked the man's eyes shining a tiny flashlight in them the he moved away.
The man's breathing was shallow and slow.
His eyes were glazed over and staring into space.
Theo cut the man's shirt with some scissors.
He got a clear liquid and poured it on his wound. The man cried out but Theo paid him no mind.
Theo sank down with some fabric dabbing the residual blood away. Then he looked at the wound
After a while he stood and turned to her.
"Somehow he removed the bullet himself but we're gonna have to stop the bleeding fast."
He moved to the tray, taking out a cloth and handing it to her.
"Put this in his mouth, don't want him biting his tongue off."
She placed the tray on the cabinet by the bed and took the cloth.
Theo turned from her and headed out the room.
She walked over to him holding his mouth open and placing the cloth in. She brushed the little wet hairs off his pale face. He was getting cold.
"Alright now hold him down. This is gonna hurt." Theo said walking in with a metal rod that was red hot.
She was confused and scared but didn't say anything. She just trusted her friend and held the man's shoulders.
"Sorry, just hold on for a bit,it's for your own good." She said to him but he was already gone, he didn't look like he knew where he was.
Then Theo stuck the metal rod in the bullet wound.
His back arched, his eyes went wide and he tried to get away from the pain but she held him down. His muffled scream came through the cloth in his mouth and tears fell from his face.
She smelled the flesh burning and just wanted this to be over.
Then Theo pulled the rod out. The man froze then his eyes rolled back, shutting closed with his body falling on the bed going still. His head fell to the side.
She looked up at Theo as if to ask if he was dead.
"Don't worry about him, he's fine, just passed out." Theo sighed answering her. He walked over to the tray and got some bandages.
She looked at him again and saw his chest move up and down showing he was still breathing.
She pulled the cloth out then stepped away from the man and sank down the wall.
Theo pulled the sleeping man up and he just slumped on Theo's shoulder. Theo wrapped the bandages around his wound and laid him back down.
He walked over to Choolwe and sank down next to her.
"It will take a while for him to wake up. So what will we do when he does?" Theo asked.
"Ask him why he was there." She answered.
She needed a drink.
She stood up and walked out of the room, Theo walking out with her.
*************
"How did you meet him?" Theo asked as he pulled some drinks out of the fridge.
He offered one to her and she took it and thanked him.
"While I was packing up to come home." She began. She took a sip then continued.
"I heard a noise and went to check who made it. I heard some people the closer I got and saw them in the equipment room."
She sighed and unbuttoned her blouse.
"I didn't know what to do so I decided to go get the guards but first I went to get my keys to lock them inside and when I came back he was there."
"He fought the guys and the last one left pulled a gun on him and through no fault of my own he pointed the gun at me." She said leaving out the part where she gasped when she saw the gun from the guy alerting him to her.
"He started fighting him and I heard a gunshot. I got scared and ran outside to the guard who was already coming after hearing the gunshot.
The guards went in and came back with the intruders but he was gone. The guard escorted me to my car and while searching for my keys I heard him."
"Why was I involved?" Theo asked
"I couldn't ask anyone else."She answered.
"He also said he didn't want the police."
Theo rolled his eyes.
**********
Kier found it hard to open his eyes. Everything hurt so bad.
He couldn't focus on anything, thinking was like walking through deep mud.
At some point he managed to open his eyes. Still everything was blurry. When his vision finally. He couldn't recognize where he was or how he got there.
He couldn't remember what happened. Everything was so heavy he couldn't move a single limb, he felt so weak and the pain was unbearable.
He remembered something, he was stopping those guys then he got shot but nothing else. He was in different clothes, looking he saw his that looked bloody. But still he had to go.
He slowly got up even though it hurt like hell.
"What are you doing?" Someone asked behind him.
He turned to see a young man with small square glasses. Then he just kept on moving.
"Leaving." Kier answered.
He hissed, clenching his teeth as he continued moving.
"You still need to rest." Theo argued.
Kier didn't pay much attention to his protest and just continued sitting up. Slowly though. The pain was still evident on his face.
Kier tried to stand but had to take a moment to get his balance.
"How long was I out?" He asked, looking at the young man.
It felt more like an order to Theo. This guy was annoying.
"Most of the night and through the day." Theo informed him.
"Thank you for taking care of me. I'll be leaving now." He actually sounded so nice.
He was holding his side and trying to hold in the pain he felt.
Theo let him walk past him. He didn't feel like stopping the man. He's done his part.
Kier had to get back home, James will get worried also he can take care of him.
***********
That evening Choolwe came back from work. Stayed on the couch while she went into the room the guy was in.
She came out of it and went to where Theo was.
She looked worried.
"Where is he?" She asked.
"He left." He answered casually.
"Why didn't you stop him?"
"I couldn't stop him." He shrugged.
She gave him a questioning glare.
"I didn't feel like." He admitted.
She sighed, shaking her head.
"Come on, sit down Chocho. He'll be fine." He made way to her on the couch.
She just threw herself on it.
She really wanted to thank him.
***********
@irathgo @smellofsnoww @luna-rein @febuwhump
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clareguilty · 4 years ago
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By Your Side
Hello i wanted these two to smooch bc i think theyre very cute alsdjaldjasl
Arthur Morgan/Kieran Duffy Rating: T | No Warnings Word Count: ~2100
 It was weeks before Arthur was on his feet again. Abigail said the wound in his shoulder must have gotten infected, that his body was overworked enough as it was. She threatened to tie him to the bed.
 He was never alone for too long. The girls took shifts, sitting with him, reading to him, feeding him. Lenny, Hosea, even John. They were all there for him.
 Marston, damn him. Sat there for hours, arms crossed and brows pinched. Hardly said a word, just groused and grumbled and looked at Arthur like he couldn't decide if he wanted to hit him or kiss him.
 Arthur had felt the same way after John nearly got eaten by wolves. The bonds of brotherhood or something like that, he figured.
 And then there was Kieran. Duffy boy. Not an O'Driscoll. Skittish and quiet, only ever coming around when no one else was nearby.
 Even though Arthur was laid up with a bum shoulder and battered ribs, Kieran was afraid of him. Always looked ready to bolt at a moment's notice.
 But he kept coming around. There was something pushing him to fight that meekness.
 Arthur finally found out late one night. It was dark, and all he could see of the boy was the silhouette of his unkempt hair. But he was there.
 "I know how Colm can be," Kieran said. Quiet. Apologetic. "No one deserves that. Especially not you."
 Arthur was quiet for a moment. So that was it.
 "You don't deserve it either."
 Kieran's breath hitched, like no one ever told him that before. Arthur's heart ached. He had been cruel to the boy, and he regretted it.
 "You hear me, boy?" Arthur asked. "You're too good for this. You deserve better."
 Kieran sniffled and was gone in an instant.
 He didn't stop coming around. Continued to spend his nights sitting quietly near Arthur. It was nice, not being alone.
 "Duffy," Arthur hissed one night.
 "Yea?"
 "How's my horse? I want to see her."
 "She's just fine Mr. Morgan. I've been spoiling her these past few weeks for you."
 Arthur huffed. At least the beast was in good hands. Arthur preferred the company of his horse to most everyone, and he hated being away from her for so long. But he trusted that Kieran was taking good care of her.
 "How far can you walk?" Kieran asked.
 "I dunno, Abigail never lets me get very far." Arthur had been confined to a very small radius the past several weeks. Every time he tried to sneak away from his bed, someone caught him and turned him back around.
 "Well," Kieran said slowly. "She's asleep right now. Grimshaw too."
 Arthur was already pushing himself up, groaning in pain. Kieran was at his side in an instant. "Here, Mr. Morgan. Lean on me."
 Arthur was heavier than Kieran anticipated, even after his infection had weakened him. Still, the two of them stumbled and staggered towards the horses. It was slow going, but Arthur was determined.
 The horse looked fine -- cleaner than ever before. Kieran must have brushed her every single day. As soon as she saw Arthur, she stomped her hooves and tossed her head.
 "Hey there, Old Girl," Arthur reached for her with his good arm. "I've missed you."
 Kieran huffed and wheezed as he shouldered Arthur's weight, but it was worth it to see the way his eyes crinkled. Arthur looked happier than he had in a long time. They made their way back to Arthur's bunk, laughing as Kieran nearly toppled them both.
 -
 Abigail gave him hell for walking, but Arthur didn’t mind too much. He shot a wink at Kieran while she ranted and raved about “rest” and “saving his energy.”
 And damn if Kieran didn’t blush bright red, nearly tripping over himself. It made Arthur’s heart swell.
 -
 Teasing Kieran was far too satisfying. The poor boy wore his heart on his sleeve. Arthur constantly ribbed him.
 “You’re too young to be drinking that, boy.” Arthur snatched a bottle of shine from his hand. Was Abigail going to chew him out for getting drunk? Probably. Was it worth it to see the way Kieran’s eyes widened as Arthur licked a stray drop from the lip of the bottle? Definitely.
 -
 Finally, finally finally -- Arthur was strong enough to get back to work.
 There was no chance of him going out. He could hardly walk the length of camp without needing to sit down for a while, but he itched to work, to be useful. The girls enjoyed the company, teasing Arthur for his shoddy sewing skills and unevenly cut vegetables. As long as he didn’t have to spend another minute trapped in that damn bed he would take as much criticism as Susan could dish out.
 His strength came back, and he could carry crates and bags of feed and bales of hay. So he took to working with the horses alongside Duffy boy. He was easy company, and even easier to tease. They were both quiet, good with the horses, content to spend long afternoons sitting in the sun, Arthur sketching quietly in his journal and Kieran sprawled out in the grass letting his mind wander. Arthur often wondered what went through the boy’s head. He was too sweet for his own good, foolish. Not terribly bright but certainly filled with plenty of ideas under his ratty old hat.
 “You’re awful kind for a killer, Mr. Morgan,” he remarked one day out of the blue.
 Arthur bit back the first words that flew to his tongue, an empty threat that would send the boy running with his tail between his legs. Instead he chewed his lip for a moment, considering.
 “I don’t just kill anybody. I tend to try to leave more alive than I do dead -- when I get the chance that is.” Arthur shrugged.
 “Like me?” The boy was looking at him with those wide, pleading eyes. Arthur could never quite figure out if the kid wanted something from him or if he just looked like that.
 Again, he had to hold himself back. He no longer took pleasure in scaring the boy shitless, and he had to fight the reflex in him that always wanted to growl and threaten. It was okay to let his guard down. As much as he hated to say it, he trusted the boy.
 “Yeah, like you,” Arthur shook his head. “Who else would humor me like this? Certainly not Bill.”
 “You think I’m funny?” Kieran’s head cocked to the side. He looked puzzled.
 “Yeah,” Arthur said flatly. “Hilarious.
 The boy pouted. Arthur had to admit it was effective. “You’re teasing me again,” he whined.
 “You make it too easy.” Arthur reached out and ruffled his hair. Kieran practically melted under the touch. He flushed bright pink, a dopey grin spreading across his face before he ducked away, skittering off like he always did.
 -
 The boy cowered and ran under any kind of attention, so Arthur had to hide his staring. He didn’t care who else saw him as long as Kieran didn’t know he was being watched.
 He liked watching Kieran. He was sweet and eager and gentle. From what little he had gathered of Kieran’s past, he had every excuse to be just as bitter and angry as the rest of them. Arthur was a selfish fool, he knew, but he wanted as much of that sweetness as he could get.
 “What’s with you and the O’Driscoll?” Marston asked, sitting down directly in Arthur’s line of vision and effectively blocking his view of Kieran and Mary-Beth sitting together with a book
 “He’s not an O’Driscoll,” Arthur grumbled.
 John’s grin turned sly. “You’re too easy to read, Morgan.”
 Arthur took another drink from his beer. Since he couldn’t watch Kieran, he enjoyed the way the afternoon sun played off of the surface of the water. “I will drown you in the lake,” he said coolly.
 “Then you’d have to deal with Abigail bein’ sore with you. I’m pretty sure she wants the privilege of drowning me.” John looked far too pleased with himself. He thought he was so damn clever.
 “We’ll do it together then.”
 Marston let out a loud, raspy laugh, banging the table with his fist. Arthur almost wished he would go back to sulking and whining about his scratches.
 “I’ll leave you to your staring then,” John shook his head, still chuckling, and wandered off.
 -
 Arthur felt like he was stumbling. Unsure of himself and out of his depth. There were many things he could do: kill, rob, steal, ride, shoot. He did not know how to be sweet. But he wanted to. He wanted to show Kieran the same kindness and consideration that he had shown Arthur. He wanted to make up for how cruel he had been to the boy.
 When was finally feeling well enough to ride into town, he stopped by the general store to refill his satchel with supplies. The barrels of taffy would normally have never caught his eye, but he remembered how excited Kieran had been when Mary-Beth broke off a piece of her chocolate for him. Kieran liked sweet.
 Arthur bought two bags.
 Jack was thrilled to get a bag of candy. Abigail thanked Arthur for his thoughtfulness and eyed the second bag with a gleaming curiosity. It felt like everyone in camp was conspiring against him.
 Kieran smiled so brightly when he noticed Arthur heading his way. He hadn’t even given him the damn candies and he was already beaming. Arthur did his best not to fumble his words.
 “Finally managed to get to the store, and I picked these up for you. I noticed you liked sweets and I was already getting some for the boy-” Arthur cut himself off with a shrug, awkwardly holding out the bag of candies.
 They were both blushing fools. Kieran took the bag, holding it delicately as if it were the most valuable thing in the world. “I can’t wait to share them with you, Mr. Morgan.”
 And Arthur knew he was done for.
 -
 Kieran was filthy. Covered in mud and dust, hair unkempt and unwashed. It had stormed recently, and everyone was covered in dirt to some degree. Somehow Kieran had attracted the worst of it.
 Arthur frowned at the boy. One of the mares hadn’t taken too well to the weather, and Kieran hadn’t left the horse’s side since. He was breaking of small pieces of oatcake and waiting patiently for the horse to eat. He lit up with a smile every time, and Arthur wanted to kiss him so badly.
 But the boy was covered in mud.
 Arthur waited until the horse had finished eating before striding over and hauling Kieran up by the scruff. “Come on, Duffy. We’ve got to get you clean.”
 Kieran was taken by surprise, tripping over his own feet as Arthur dragged him along. “It’s no trouble Mr. Morgan. I’d just wind up dirty again tomorrow anyways. The ground’s not dry yet.”
 “Then we can wash you again tomorrow,” Arthur said. He led them through the trees towards a nice stretch of creek, running water, about waist deep. It was a nice spot to bathe when he couldn’t make it back into town.
 “Strip,” Arthur was already tugging his own boots off, digging a bar of soap out of his satchel. Kieran only hesitated a moment before shrugging out of his clothes. Those would need to be washed too, but Arthur was too busy dragging the boy into the water with him to care.
 Kieran didn’t protest as Arthur lathered up the soap and began scrubbing mud and dirt off the both of them. He had always craved Arthur’s touch, and the scrape of the callouses of his palm against bare skin was almost more than he could handle.
 He hadn’t expected Arthur to dig his fingers into Kieran’s side, causing him to yelp and jump away. Arthur was grinning, looking far too pleased with himself. Kieran smiled back and splashed half-heartedly at Arthur.
 They wrestled in the creek. Arthur easily overpowered Kieran, dunking him under the water a few times and tackling him into the silt. Kieran howled with laughter and clung to Arthur for dear life.
 And then Arthur kissed him. Already breathless and panting, he dragged Kieran in and pressed their lips together. It was clumsy and awkward for a few moments as Kieran froze in shock, but he kissed back eagerly once he found himself again.
 Arthur pulled away with a contented sigh, shaking water out of his hair and chuckling to himself. “Been wanting to do that, but you’ve been sleeping in the damn mud for three days now.”
 Kieran turned pink and then red, clearly overwhelmed. Arthur pulled back a little to give him some space.
 “What if-” Kieran started and then lost his courage. It took him a few tries to get through his words. “What if I slept by you instead?”
 Arthur wanted nothing more.
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randomestfandoms-ocs · 4 years ago
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otp ask game for cassian?
1. What was their first impression of each other?
Cassia was mostly “someone in my year is talking to me am I losing my mind?” followed by “don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry”
Kieran was a bit shook at the sorting bc everyone was but then he sees her sitting alone and iced out by her housemates in potions class and isn’t cool with that so sits next to her, he thinks she seems sweet and quiet but then snape is v creepy towards her (we do not stan a creepy manipulative asshole who’s been grooming her for her entire life) and Kieran is immediately ready to throw hands for her from them on
2. What is their ship name?
Cassian!
3. Describe their relationship dynamic.
soft and loving and supportive and 100% ready to throw hands for each other, they’re both kind of sad but they help each other be less sad
4. What was their relationship like before they got together?
Kind of a star crossed lovers vibe ngl but it was mostly based on just caring really deeply for each other and always being there for each other!
5. How would they describe each other?
6. What do they love about each other?
Honestly everything!  idk how to list all of the different things oof
7. What do they have in common?
trauma, big hearts, murder their abusive dads/dad-figures, were groomed to fit a certain mold but break away from that, the best people ever
8. What are some differences between them?
different houses, different grooming/manipulation experiences, Kieran is a soft boy whereas Cassia is always ready to throw hands
9. What made them realize they were in love?
I don’t know what it would be for Kieran but I think that Cassia had two moments — she first actively realizes it in goblet of fire I think (just based on her own emotional development) but when she thinks back on it she’s been in love with him since Chamber Of Secrets when he visited her in the hospital wing and she told him about the diary and he was the only person who didn’t look at her with disgust or suspicion 
10. What are their love languages?
words of affirmation baby!!!!!!  Probably lots of quality time and physical affection too but just like, validating the shit out of each other!
11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?
I think they would sometime after the war!  And I think that Kieran proposes, but I’m not sure how!
12. What would happen if they never met?
.... can I cheat on this since that’s just their individual fics?
13. Who dies first? How does the other one react?
nope not going there i don’t want to cry today
14. Are there any love rivals?
I mean obviously they have their canon ships but I feel like in their crossover verse they really only have eyes for each other?
15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!
i don’t know but i lovethem a lot
16. What do other characters think about this relationship?
Iris and Val are 100% supportive they love Kieran and want him to be happy and quickly grow to love Cassia too!  The older Gryffs who are basically Cassia’s family are hesitant at first — not because Kier is a Slytherin but because his dad is a death eater and snape was/is a death eater so they want to keep her as far from anyone at all connected to snape as possible but they see how much Kier loves and supports Cassia and definitely end up approving!  I think that the trio would take longer to be okay with it partially because Cassia’s relationships with them are messy to begin with and partially because they’re so “all slytherins are evil” that it would just, take a while
17. Describe or write a really fluffy scene!
im sorry bby my brain isn’t functional enough for this really rn but consider: yule ball?
18. Describe or write a really angsty scene!
im sorry bby my brain isn’t functional enough for this really rn either 
19. Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.
Kieran overhears Snape being all creepy and grooming-y at some point (and by some point I mean prisoner of azkaban bc shit is... bad in that book for cassia) and curses him pls?
20. What does a typical date look like for them?
Just hanging out in the room of requirement or sneaking out to Hogsmeade!
21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?
oof, probably their first meeting and Kieran being the only first year not to treat her like a zoo animal or to completely avoid her!
OTP Ask Game
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theliterateape · 5 years ago
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I Like to Watch | Midsommar
by Don Hall
The first (and only) movie I ever got up and left before it was over was Andy Warhol’s Dracula.
It was an art house revival of the 1973 cult film starring Udo Kier and Roman Polanski and, in 1983, the damn thing was just too much weird and sex and gore for my seventeen-year old brain to process. I was also in the brainwashed throes of Born Again Christianity at the time so I’m pretty sure my newfound moral compass was sent askew by the images of erotic carnage and almost incomprehensible dialogue.
Then I discovered David Lynch and Eraserhead. For some reason, John Nance with his huge hair and the grotesque black and white ominousness of Lynch’s vision grabbed me by the cortex and shook me up. I couldn’t stop watching it. It was on a bootleg VHS copy that I watched over and over. Thus began my fascination with cinema made by the most fucked up white people about the most fucked up white people ever imagined.
You rarely see movies like this made by or with black people or Latinos. The Chinese are just as fucked up but there’s just something creepier about über-white people in groups behaving in wholly bizarre settings that are both fascinating and unsettling.
The Wicker Man (with Edward Woodward rather than Nic Cage)
Dancer in the Dark
Epidemic
Pelle the Conquerer
The Celebration
The work of Lars Von Trier is benchmark for this genre — AntiChrist, Dogville, Nymphomaniac Vol. I & II, The House That Jack Built — white people living in realities and making choices that both defy rationality and explore the darkest surrealism put on screen.
Then came Yorgos Lanthimos.
The first film my wife required of me to watch when we began dating (all three of them before getting engaged) was Dogtooth. She called it a Coming of Age film which is true from an angle reserved mostly for the mentally deranged.
A family of four. Two grown children who seem to think they’re much younger and have never seen a cat. The boy (who is a grown man) being sexually serviced by a maid. A (dead) brother on the other side of a huge hedge row who isn’t allowed on the grounds. The girl (woman) discovers a cache of Sylvester Stallone moves and wonders what might be beyond the hedge row. A murdered cat.
Coming of Age? Sure. White people are fucked up? Definitely.
Then came The Lobster. And The Killing of a Sacred Deer. He won the Best Picture and Best Director Oscars for his latest The Favourite. All bizarrely brilliant. All completely fucked up. All about white people doing things only white people could possibly find themselves doing.
So when Ari Aster presented the world with Hereditary, I was ready. The formula was set: white people, odd occurrences, ominous underpinnings, and a moment in the midway point of the film so unexpected, so shocking, my wife and I screamed, paused the film, and had to walk around the apartment yelling “What the fuck?! No fucking way! Holy shit!”
The ending of Hereditary disappointed some people but not me. I loved it. I loved the idea that this was a sacrificial lamb story told from the lamb’s perspective. It quickly became one of my top ten horror films.
Aster’s latest is a bit of a twist on your expectations. He assumes you expect the gritty and gloomy horror of his first outing and gives, instead, a completely different kind of trippy fable. My wife said it was a breakup movie and, like Dogtooth and its Coming of Age angle, she’s right. But only through the lens of derangement and with the understanding that only white people in Nordic countries could ever be this freakish.
Midsommar is, as he describes it, a dark comedy of the blackest kind and, true to his word, I found myself laughing hard toward the end but it was an odd kind of gallows laughing. Laughing at a idiot sown up in the carcass of a slain grizzly bear with his face protruding out of its mouth like a kid in a bear onesy as they prepare to burn him alive is not normal laughter.
One thing I now know about Aster: he has definitely ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms. Likely a lot of them as, in scenes when the standard cast of Americans amidst the smiling and brutal clan of Swedish hippies drug them up, the camera work and CGI looks and feels exactly like doing shrooms. Exactly like it.
It occurred to me halfway through the film that if I did shrooms and then came to see Midsommar, it might simply put me into a bliss coma from which I’d never come down from because it’s overwhelming enough with just the drugs. 
Further, this is a horror movie done entirely in sunlight. There is no true night or dark. The gruesome details of death and sex are right out there in full daylight which has an oddly cruel and detached quality to it. Watching someone’s head be split in half in the dark is shocking; watching the same thing in broad day makes it feel more antiseptic, more normal. Which is kind of horrifying but not in the way you’re horrified at a scary movie. More like the horrified you feel looking at dead bodies in a morgue when your gory friend sticks a toothpick in the eye of one to see if it’s really like jelly inside.
I loved it. I don’t really know if I can recommend it, though. This shit isn’t for everyone (and maybe shouldn’t be for anyone) so suggesting you go see it is couched with the caveat that I’m not saying you’ll like Midsommar, just that it is definitely worth seeing.
NOTE: I’ve never gone back to Andy Warhol’s Dracula because it’s somehow better to walk out of at least one movie and keep it that way.
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theduskthrone · 6 years ago
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10: Coward
Azim Steppe, 18 years ago
When the raiders came, Kier was thirteen years old. He could take care of all his own horses, he could tame a wild mount, he could hunt and clean and cook an animal, and he could watch his little sister all on his own. He thought he was a capable young man. Then the raiders came, and he didn’t think so any longer. 
Their family of three was traveling on their own at the time, far to the east on the quiet bay coast, as his father taught Ghoa how to hunt. Though she was but eight years old, she showed an aptitude for the bow far beyond her years; this would be her first time hunting a living target, and though Kier didn’t want to get in the way, he definitely wanted to see her succeed. 
The location for the day was a small stream leading into the Bay of Yanxia; the area was lightly wooded, with sufficient shrubs and low brush to make for adequate cover. The salty smell of the sea covered much of the ambient scents of the area. There was little to no chance of anything larger than a rabbit being found here, but Kier suspected that his father was telling Ghoa how to find ducks or perhaps grouse. 
Kier had stayed behind with the horses as his father and sister moved further into the wood to find their game. He wanted to go with her, but he understood that a larger group was not to her advantage. 
Ghoa and Batbayar had been gone for some time when Kier first noticed something was wrong. The horses were agitated, and there were no wildlife sounds despite the area being far from any trails. Unsettled, Kier decided to take the horses and move somewhere else. Where, he never got to decide; when he stood to approach his horse, the beast’s ears fell flat back, and it danced away from him with an unsettled snort. It was then that the raiders grabbed him from behind. 
Kier shouted in alarm as the unknown man pulled his elbows tight behind his back, lifting them far higher than was comfortable. Ahead of him, the horses bolted, leaving him by himself. He couldn’t pry his arms free of his attacker’s grip, and the man was pulling back so hard he could barely stay on his feet. In desperation, he tried to kick or stomp on the man behind him, but had very little luck; when his foot finally connected with the other man’s ankles, the attacker growled and shoved Kier facefirst into the nearest tree. 
Though Kier struggled, he couldn’t break free from his position against the tree. The man who held him was talking to others, but he couldn’t understand them-- he thought they were speaking common, but their accents were so thick and his knowledge of common so poor that he couldn’t decode any of the words. he saw another man step behind him, and a cloth sack was forced over his head. 
He started getting dizzy within moments-- the cloth had been soaked in something-- but when he heard his father’s shouts from the wood, he felt a surge of renewed confidence. 
Shouting and thrashing as best he could, Kier managed to break loose by turning his head sideways and crashing his horn into the attacker’s face, which crunched wetly at the impact. The man yelled, and Kier tore free of his grip. The drug, however, was certainly beginning to affect him; though he broke free, he was only able to stay on his feet for a few steps before falling to his knees. As he did, he heard the man’s angry shouts turn into a scream, then fall silent. 
The sack over Kier’s head caught on his horns and tore as he pulled it off and threw it in the mud. His vision swam, but when his attacker fell to the ground next to him, he could clearly see the arrow protruding from his temple. 
Stumbling to his feet, Kier turned toward the forest just in time to see Ghoa scream as two of the raiders-- there had to be six or more of them, far more than he had assumed-- converged on her. She was at the edge of the forest, bow in hand; she tried to ready an arrow to shoot, but the raiders ripped it out of her hands before she could. One man grabbed her and held her still, and the other put a sack over her head just as he had Kier’s. 
“Ghoa!” Kier shouted, trying desperately to run toward her, but being unable to make it more than a few steps before stumbling and falling again. The world swam before his eyes, and as he forced himself back to his knees once again, he could barely track the figures before him as they dragged Ghoa toward the bay shore. 
“Ghoa!” he heard his father call from somewhere near the forest’s edge. “Kier! Ghoa!” 
Kier’s head whipped around toward his father’s voice, but the sudden motion did him no good; he retched, dry heaves that did nothing to clear the drug from his system. When he was able to look up again, he was able to identify his father-- the only xaela, taller and darker than the hyuran assailants that surrounded him. Though Kier knew his father was a force to be reckoned with in battle, he was clearly struggling against the four men that surrounded him. Though Kier tried to crawl forward, breathing heavily, to find some kind of weapon to help his father with, he could barely make any progress without being interrupted by the effects of the drug. 
The largest of the raiders shouted an order, and Kier heard as his father shout in pain and anger. He was terrified that they would take his father too-- that he would be left alone on the beach, with no weapons to hunt and no horses to leave-- and his panic gave him what he needed to stumble to his feet again. But the raiders were already retreating toward the bay, where two skiffs were sailing to meet them. As Kier made it to his father, who was on his knees with a blade through his calf pinning him to the ground, Ghoa was already being loaded into the skiff along with the retreating raiders. 
It was the first and only time Kier saw his father cry, and although he was on the ground and bleeding in many places, Kier knew that the tears weren’t from pain. 
With unsteady fingers, Kier tore his shirt for cloth to tourniquet his father’s leg, tying the cloth tightly around the top of his thigh to slow blood flow. He tried to tear another piece, but couldn’t get a good grip on the cloth, so simply took the whole shirt off instead. “You can’t--” he paused, taking in a great shuddering breath, “I need to pull the blade out.” 
His father nodded without a word; Kier grasped the hilt of the blade and pulled it free, though he had to use both hands and nearly lost his balance once again. Kier dropped the blade as his father rolled to sit up, clearing the remains of his sandal away from his leg even as blood flowed freely from the wound. Kier did his best to bandage it with the shirt, tying it as tightly as he could with his trembling hands. By the time he looked up, the raiders, and his sister, were gone.
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lightsorigins · 4 years ago
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Smiles
 A good two hours had passed after Sara had left. On his laptop, Kieran had chosen to change the music. A calmer atmosphere spread through the room. A mixture of melancholy and bitterness. It was "Way to Go" by the band "Empire of the Sun". He was in bed, on his back, with a red pillow over his face. It had been several weeks since Sara had been cracking down on his behavior. Already that he supported badly this natural authority, in this recent period, that became for him too smothering. "Seriously, what does she care if I miss my life? " He asked himself in various ways, since he had locked himself in his room.
Enervé, he then seized his pillow and threw it on the door of his room with all his strength while letting escape a light growl. A message arrived on his cell phone, which he opened immediately.
 "Still ok for tonight at home? :) »
 It was Malden, one of his best friends. They were putting together a band, accompanied by another friend, Teano. On a good day, Sara would come and watch them play with the rest of the band. The two boys had met a few years earlier when they joined the athletics club for the youth of Lausya.
 "Yeah, that's good. See you soon."
 "No smiley face? Are you sure you're ok? :o ! »
 "I tell you when we meet"
 "Okay! »
 Just as he was about to leave his bed, his mother knocked loudly on the door.
- What? Kieran shouted, not without making his annoyance heard.
- Kié, Amaëlle has arrived for your class. She's waiting for you in the living room, come.
 Kieran took his head in his hands and took a deep breath. Then, holding his breath, he rushed to the pillow he had just thrown and started screaming into it with all his might. After that, he grabbed it and slammed it to the ground several times until he was out of breath. Kieran had completely forgotten that Amaëlle had to come. He was no longer willing. It was wearing him down, especially with the altercation he had just had.
      Five minutes were enough for Amaëlle's presence to leave his mind. Kieran had turned on the music and was strolling in the room. Calmly, she knocked and opened the door.
- Can I come in? she asked very gently.
      Without stopping his activities, Kieran nodded. Amaëlle took off the long fir-colored coat she was wearing, as well as her beret of the same color, to put them on her bed. Her long ebony hair was styled in a lovely bun, while her azure eyes always seemed to shine. Without saying a word, she sat down on her student's computer chair and crossed her legs, swinging her green pumps to the music. Aware that something was wrong, Amaëlle took care to close the door behind her.
      She was a holoron with syor skin, very lightly made up. While she was also bobbing her head from left to right as she played the notes, Kieran watched the reflection of the light come and go on her face, which was like a vase of earthenware. This detail amused him. He addressed a very weak smile to her, then rose to turn off the music before returning to his bed.
- You don't look so good. Your mother told me about you and Sara. I passed her on the way over.
- Yeah, I'm sick of her. I can't get any peace... she's a pain in the ass.
- Don't you understand that she is worried about you?
      He hesitated before answering, looking away to stare at the window before continuing.
- Yes, but it's been a few days... She's abusing me now. It's like she wants me to do what she does. I don't want to do that.
- You don't have to be like your sister Kieran, since you are not your sister. She just wants you to work on your speaking and writing skills and develop your concentration. You remember that you were the one who asked her to find someone to come and help you in the first place, right?
- I wanted her to help me, not order me around and embarrass me in front of the guys outside.
      Amaëlle gave him a pinched smile.
- I know the context of the situation. You didn't honor your agreement so that made her angry. Why don't you try explaining yourself next time? You are capable of having fun when everything is going well. Don't ruin it. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a big sister who takes care of you you know?
- I know. Kieran replied, very quietly.
- I have to help you tonight. It would be a shame if your sister paid me to just come and look you in the eye. But since you probably need some quiet time, I suggest we take less time than we planned. How about it?
      He nodded slowly and stood up. Together they went into the dining room and sat down facing each other. Kieran had dyslexia, as well as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). During part of his schooling, the manifestation of this disability put him in many difficult situations. His clumsy diction and impulsive attitudes were often the cause of mockery from his peers, and therefore a lack of confidence. It didn't take long for these challenges to lead him into bad company, and for him to participate in acts of vandalism in the city.
      Amaëlle - who was contacted by Sara almost three years earlier - committed to training Kieran through diction exercises, concentration exercises, as well as giving him vocabulary to learn from time to time, essays and other types of activities. She was a Nerial (Water) Aphorist and Atmologist, who was perfecting her teaching skills. She was 25 years old and was like a caring and always available big sister to them. Over time, Amaëlle gradually became a support to the Farrian family, rather than just a private teacher.
      That evening, she simply had him read out some gap-fill texts and comment on them, choosing his words carefully. Despite his bad mood, Kieran had been persistent and calm. He had cut in less often and only got up from his chair once.
      - You were exemplary tonight, even with that pig-headedness you pulled throughout the exercises. I am proud of you!
      Kieran did not answer for all that. Amaëlle always reserved him a small surprise after the exercises. This made him smile a little before she left.
      - I have something to show you. Call your mother too! She said, cheerfully, taking her wand out of her bag.
      - Mommy! I believe that Amaëlle will make a stylish turn!
      Fond of these little improvised shows, Naska rushed to come and see. As always, it was more pleasant to admire her performances with the lights off. Kieran then pressed the switch and sat down on the leather sofa of the living room, stamping with impatience. His good mood had returned, at least until he saw this.
    Amaëlle's tall, slender figure now stood before them, wand in hand, against the light of the hallway. In silence, she seemed to start writing in the air. The ystic symbols - the language of the mystic - gradually took shape, like threads of smoke of a dreamy turquoise blue. The colors were reflected in the eyes of Kieran and Naska, revealing their fascination. They could read "I am extremely proud of you". Amaëlle waited a few seconds, then drew a circle around the letters of Menha that she had formed. Little by little, she formed signs with her fingers, which stretched the circle into a thick bubble of water. She then took a deep breath before blowing very gently on it. The bubble with the magic letters went towards Kieran. When it reached the tip of his nose, it burst.
    Suddenly, a festival of positive and deep
emotions invaded him. He felt an intense and yet discreet joy, a certain fullness and a lot of admiration. Amazed, Naska turned the light back on and gave a big smile to Amaëlle.
      - How did you do that? Kieran asked, impressed.
      - I learned it a short time ago, I'm perfecting it. An Aphorist's art. I tried to share with you how you made me feel tonight.
      - Wow! This is really classy! How did you get to be an Aphorist? Now I definitely want to do this.
      - I had to practice a lot! She answered with a laugh that brought her back to her student memories. You'll have plenty of time to find out if you want to become an Aphorist. It's not that I don't like your company, but I'm going to have to get out of here fast.
      - Me too," said Kieran. I'm going to Malden's tonight.
      - The building is on my way there, I think, do you want a lift? I'll go back to Welliyo afterwards, what do you say?
      - Is that right? So cool!
      - I've got your stuff ready, Kie. I put everything in the bathroom, in your backpack.
      - Go get it all quickly Kieran, or I'll change my mind and leave without you! In the meantime, I still have some stuff in your room.
      Before they left, Naska had prepared a small box with part of the dish for Amaëlle. Knowing that Sara hated boiled food and that Kieran often ate out, she preferred to offer her some of it.
      Once in Amaëlle's car, it was not long before Kieran's good mood faded again, which was not lost on the young woman. The snow had given way to a driving rain, which the windshield wipers struggled to clear from the window. Kieran remained silent, waiting patiently to arrive at Malden's house. -
    I have rarely seen you so worried and upset, Amaëlle admitted to him. It's not the first time you and Sara have had a fight.
      - This year, it's worse. She doesn't care how I feel. All she does is yell at me whenever she sees that I can. It's as if she's shooting me in the face every time I appear.
      Amaëlle paused to think of an appropriate answer. She herself had noticed that Sara was much more emotional when she had met
her before arriving at the Farrian home.
      - You know, your sister is growing up and starting to have other responsibilities. She's studying for exams and may have other concerns that we don't know about.
      - If she would just talk about it calmly instead of using me as a punching bag, things would be better. But as soon as I talk, I can see that she thinks I'm a jerk. You know, sometimes I wonder if she's just paying you because she's ashamed of me as a brother. I'm not sure she's really interested in my condition. But the idea of Kieran, the town jerk, being her little brother... that's got to be getting to her, so I've got to make some headway for her shitty little reputation.
-      Kieran...
    - I'm sure that's it.
      There were two minutes left in the journey, during which Kieran continued to express what he was feeling and thinking about the situation. Nothing would change his mind at the moment, not even the best of wills, and Amaëlle understood that. She stopped in front of a damaged sidewalk, littered with scrap metal and chewing gum. A few meters further on was a neighborhood where middle-class Lausans and Malden's family lived. Kieran opened the door to get out.
      - Thank you for dropping me off, Amaëlle.
      - Instead of thanking me, promise me something.
      Since he sensed that this would have something to do with Sara and him, he sighed quietly before answering her.
      - Well, okay. But it depends on what.
      - If there is any problem between you and your sister, or even if there is something else you don't feel you can handle, promise to tell me about it. I don't want you to carry this around by yourself. Is that okay? Even if it's not mine, at least talk to one of your friends. Even Renyu for example.
      - Oh no, not him. He's the first one to make fun of me for every mistake I make.
      - I forgot, that's true... well, is that okay?
      - Yes, I'll try to do my best. See you later, Ama.
      - See you later, Kiki!
      - Not that nickname!
      Amaelle laughed out loud. She stuck her tongue out at him, closed the car door and went on her way. These little light attitudes she could have reassured Kieran a lot, even if he didn't always say so. During the short walk to Malden's house, he lost himself in imagining what he could achieve if he ever became an Aphorist. The idea of making up for his lack of expression, of one day being able to show others that he could handle himself and that they should never have laughed at him, was a very pleasant prospect. Since he was young, he had dreamed of studying Fothîol, the Fire Atmology, to become a great adventurer. In various broadcasts, he had heard about the fighting contests between atmologists and martial artists, the squads of adventurers going to the famous Domains, where incredible creatures, treasures and the legendary Incarnations were hiding. Just imagining all that energy flowing through his body and intoxicating him, Kieran was ecstatic. This was the life he wanted to live, not just hang out in Lausya, go to college and argue with his sister.
    His phone rang as he approached the Cly
home.
      - Where are you? Malden asked
    - I'm on my way, I'm almost downstairs.
      - Okay, well, I'll be right down. Don't ring the bell, my father is taking a nap and it might wake him up. Then, my mother will bother me again.
      - A nap at 7pm?
      - Not always easy to be a gardener, I guess," said Malden, laughing. Well, I'm coming, see you soon!
    Kieran reached the big gate: a copper
fence several meters high, impossible to cross without having the right pass, or without ringing the bell at one of the numerous apartments that were piled up behind, in the big park. He saw the light of a distant hall, and someone opening the door coming in his direction. It was Malden. He had taken a worn red raincoat and an umbrella. When he opened the door, Kieran walked in without looking at him.
      - Hi," he said quietly.
      - It's a good thing Ama dropped you off. Why didn't you take something to cover yourself ?
      - I don't know.
      Without a word, Malden handed him his umbrella. The two boys continued down the hall without talking, and once they were in the elevator, the conversation started again.
      - Did something happen outside? Malden asked.
      - Nah, it's Sara.
      - Again? But that's all the time?
      - I guess so.
      Kieran still wasn't much of a talker. When they arrived at the apartment, they went silently to Malden's room. When Malden opened the door, he was surprised to see his brother emptying one of his closets.
      - Isaac, what the hell are you doing in my room?
      The young boy was startled and stood up like a post in front of his brother and Kieran. -
    Oh oh...
    - What did you come for now? I already told you that I didn't want to see you here! -
    I needed a pen to write something and...
    - Don't fuck with me, there are plenty of pens everywhere! Just ask Sawako or Hayate!
    Akane, Malden's mother, arrived with a heavy step. She had long black hair, some of which fell over her face, and a dark, piercing, often angry look. When he saw her, Malden put his hands over his face and blew out a loud breath. -
    Damn, here we go...
    - How do you address your brother Malden? I've told you to talk different!
      - How many times have I told him to stay out of here?
      - You don't set the rules in this house! You don't pay rent, you don't do the shopping! If your brother has something to look for he does it, whether you like it or not! This is my home!
      - No, but he can at least ask me!
      - You weren't there!
      - Then he should have waited! -
    Do you have something to hide in your room to put yourself in such a state just because Isaac entered? Just because Kieran's here doesn't mean you can start messing with me, Malden, you hear me?
      Isaac hadn't moved an inch, watching the whole conversation carefully. A sardonic laugh escaped from between his lips, then he took a notebook out of his pocket before writing down a few sentences in a table named "Malden", and ran off. The argument continued for a few more minutes.
      - If you keep yelling like that you're going to wake up Dad! Malden said.
      - By now it's about time he got up.
      Still with the same energy, she closed the door and went to wake up Richard Cly, the father of the family. Kieran sat down on Malden's bed and laughed nervously.
      - It seems to be a good vibe in here too. - I don't know what's wrong with her right now, it seems like Isaac gets to do everything. And me, no privacy.
      - Why are you so upset about him coming into your room?
      - Because he lies and acts so weird. He writes things about me in a notebook and talks about them with Suzanne without telling me what they are. They think I'm a freak, and I don't even know why.
      Kieran frowned as he imagined the situation.
      - Okay, yeah. It's pretty weird.
      - Anyway, that's how it is. What about you and Sara?
      Once again, Kieran explained his altercation with his sister, and how he felt about it. The simple fact of being so little considered, and especially of being locked in by precepts he did not share, made him hateful. -
    Sara and I used to have a lot of fun, but I have a feeling it will never be the same. All he cares about now is getting rich and doing biology.
      - There will always be Teano and me just in case!
      - I know, but this is different. -
    I understand that, and I'm sorry. I feel like that sometimes with Melva. I feel like it's never going to get better. If you want, I'll talk to Sara if I get a chance. -
    You know what, we weren't supposed to meet for this tonight. We should put on "Alvist War"! We have a fight to watch. I'm tired of being pissed off from earlier, I want to think about something else!
      A big smile appeared on Malden's face. Without a word, he went to get his laptop and put it on the bed. "The Alvist War was a television program that was shown every evening, but was also broadcast on various platforms on the Internet. Atmologists of varying levels took part in clashes every venckelbuth, broadcast live, and this throughout the year! They judged the quality of the atmos used, their choice, and not necessarily the damage caused. On this night, a Heroine (Fire and Sun atmology) was to face a Cantator (Lightning and Lightning atmology)! Malden checked the website to be sure of the time of the confrontation.
      - There's plenty of time. I know they were planning to move the time exceptionally because of the problems with the GCA, but we still have thirty minutes.
      - Do you think your mom will let us watch this in the bedroom?
      - Either she'll let us, or we'll watch it in the living room with everyone else, or we'll watch the replay. - Oh, the replay sucks. I want to live the thrill of the moment, when you see them doing crazy things!
      - Yeah, I agree, but thanks to Isaac, my mom's all fired up tonight. I'm not sure she'll choose to be nice and leave us alone.
      A thought crossed Kieran's mind. He squinted his eyes and gave her a big smile without saying a word. - I don't like it when you make that face, Kié. What are you thinking about?
- I don't know, your mom seems pretty busy, your siblings too, your dad's in the coltard after a nap at the worst time of the day...
    - Yeah... so?
      He checked that Malden still had his shoes on his feet.
      - And so I'm going to use my superpowers.
      Without warning, Kieran leapt onto the bed, shut Malden's laptop and put it in his bag. He grabbed his arm and pulled with all his might. Malden slipped off the bed and rolled a few inches.
      - What the hell are you doing?
      - Let's go! I've got some more nanthilia at home.
      - You know how to talk to me.
      - You got your clip? Quick, grab it and let's go.
      Malden was still putting on his raincoat in the middle of the hallway. He pulled up his slightly baggy pants and almost tripped twice as he caught his feet in his shoelaces. Kieran opened the front door, when Akane's voice rang out from the other end of the house.
      - Who's going out at this time of the night? she shouted.
      - It's Malden! said Isaac, who was not far away.
      Already on the landing, Kieran signaled to Malden to hurry up. Seeing that his friend hesitated, he grabbed him again and pulled him with all his strength before closing the door behind him. They made their way down the three flights of stairs, nearly falling again several times. They ran through the park, opened the door and started running through Lausya. -
    This is what track and field is for! Kieran exclaimed with a laugh.
      - When I come back tomorrow, they're all going to kill me.
      - Just come home!
      - I can't spend my life at your place, how am I going to paint and do my sports? I have to see Sylva too!
      - We'll find a way!
      That evening, Akane made several phone calls to her son, but Malden never picked up. They had arrived home soaking wet. Naska was happy to know that her son would spend the evening at home, and especially that his boiled Yone would finally be consumed. When she asked why the boys had returned, a simple, poorly crafted lie had been enough to convince her.
      As Malden began to eat the yone with his pakato puree with pavarus and echex, Kieran pulled out the nanthilia he had hidden under his desk. For a moment, he remembered the discussion with Amaëlle, who told him that Sara was worried about him. He hesitated. But the memories of his screams and his persuasion about Sara's true motives came back to him. The wound that had been growing inside him reopened immediately, and anger rose. He got up to lock his bedroom door and rolled two joints. He gave one to Malden before lighting both.
      - It's going to start in a few minutes," Malden said after thanking him. Who do you think will win? -
    My money is on Syzia, the Heroine. Already, she's using Hanoma atmos that no one has ever seen. When she introduced herself, she said she had done a lot of research in Nelthis, with the Grimoire of Balance, and had spent a lot of time learning old Hanoma. - It's not dumb, but in a way, we've already seen Albert come through a few times and win his matches. He sings great and people love it. And don't forget that he also uses Hanoma, some of which he developed himself!
      - Yeah... It's tight though. But he's old Albert, I think he's over 60 years old. Syzia, I think she's even younger than Amaëlle!
      - So what?
      - People prefer to give their chance to the younger ones. -
    I hope they won't vote like that, it's not very fair. Or maybe they should make a "War of the Alvists - Senior Edition". That would probably be better. The older ones have so much experience in general...
    - Yeah, but they're usually doing the same things, so you don't learn much from them, I think.
      - Well, it's starting!
    The Alvist War took place in Susalia, in Sei-Galtar. A big kingdom often considered as the mysticillian capital. The credits were presented with a dynamic and very rhythmic music, and a short presentation of the candidates. Malden and Kieran were never able to sit still each time they found themselves in front of the show. For a few minutes, the show's host spoke about the situation that had caused the show to be moved. A group of arcanists called "Black-Wings", a branch of the infamous "Guild of Antis", had stirred up trouble for reasons still unclear.
      - Yes, yes, we know about that! Kieran persisted. I want the fight!
      The introductions went on and on, even though the challengers were known to the public. The two boys knew that this process was supposed to make the viewers reconsider their preferences and make their judgment more difficult. But with them, it didn't work!
    After long minutes, Syzia and Albert arrived at the big field where they would compete. They were given five minutes, after which the other challengers came to replace them for their own fight. At the end of the show, the votes would be revealed to everyone, as well as the decisions of the jury.
      - He's pretty good-looking for his age, Albert," says Malden. Well dressed, little jacket and shiny shoes, the little groomed haircut and all. The well-trimmed beard and the winner's smile.  -
    He is a nogdarr at the same time, they are always stylish! And Syzia is a class act too !
    It was a young anekionne dressed with an armor of Almandol and Helyor, where were engraved runes in hathôm language. The alloys with which she was covered shone with a red and orange glow. Her face was thin, her skin black, and her eyes a piercing yellow. There was nothing but cold determination, and nothing else.
      - Her chelicerae give me the creeps. Look, it looks like she cut them to kill the people she kisses. I can imagine her leaning over to kiss Albert and then bang: she pierces his cheek.
      - You're disgusting, man! You know that with our animal barriers, these things can't happen.
      - Yeah, but imagine: there, she puts him on the ground, he has no more Anima, and she comes to kiss him.
      While they were talking, the fight began. Without a word, Syzia rushed towards Albert while executing a series of signs with her fingers. When everyone expected her to deliver the kick she had enchanted with pink flames, a wall of pale green light blocked her path. Albert was standing in front of her, unperturbed, still smiling. He began to sing a short sentence with his tenor voice. Small emerald sparks began to converge in the sky. Sizya looked around, worried.
      - What a handsome kid Albert is! Malden exclaimed again. He masters, you see, he doesn't even have to move!
      - It's true, he's super stylish.
    As the lightning was about to strike Sizya, the young anekonia jumped at the last moment to avoid the blast. Several times, she tried to come back to the charge but Albert's protection was very strong. However, everyone could see that as time went by, her shine was fading. Soon, she would have broken this damn protection and could reach the old man!
      - She's going to make it," said Kieran. Everyone knows her, she won't let go.
    Rather than strike again, Sizya took some distance. Closing her eyes, she crossed her legs and sat on the floor, then began to levitate. The audience began to raise their voices. Kieran's eyes widened.
      - No? Is she really going to do that now?
      - It's a very good idea. If she invokes an afterglow, things could be totally different for Albert.
    Lest she cause too much damage, Albert readjusted his defenses by erecting variable shapes around him. Diamonds of emerald light, spheres, circles and a whole bunch of random creations weaving together and resulting in a magical and brilliant tapestry. The whole thing was nimbed with sparks and shimmering of all greens, which greatly impressed the spectators.
      - She better do something worthwhile," Malden commented. People want to be wowed, and Albert understood that. Look what he did.
      - Hell, yeah! He's really good, I'm starting to think he has a chance.
      - He's always had a chance!
    The art of the Heroines was to invoke afterglow from other times or dimensions, where various deities were believed to exist. The Heroines manage to channel the essence of the faith of these individuals across space and time, and invoke the crystallization of what they believe in. Thus, behind Sizya, the silhouette of a huge colossus was outlined by dots of pink Menha. A man of thick musculature, with a full beard and long hair flowing down behind his bare back. His face seemed marked by an unspeakable fatigue. He carried a forge hammer in his right hand and an anvil in his left.
      - I think I know this invocation," said Malden.
      - Which one is it?
      - Hephaestus. Renyu told me about it once, they had come across images and treatises from the Heroines' classes while researching the dragons of the Mystician. The downside is that it's not Hanoma! It's classy, but not as bold as Albert's creations.
      Hephaestus' remanence, once fully drawn, put his foot heavily on the ground. As he did so, a powerful, fiery shockwave crossed the battlefield. When it met the shapes created by Albert, more than half of them went up in smoke. Hephaestus raised his hammer and threw it straight at Albert. Opening his arms wide, he let out a mighty howl, ready to act again. Kieran and Malden looked at each other in amazement.
-
I'm not sure if summonses normally do that," Kieran remarked. Are you sure she's not doing a Hanoma?
      - I don't know, but it's really shocking. It could be.the remaining time, Albert and Sizya continued to battle, bringing to life phenomena as surprising as each other. The summoned Hephaestus remained on the field until the announcer announced the end of the battle. It was rare for the audience to make so much noise in the stands. The two challengers shook hands before leaving. Regardless of the outcome of the votes, they seemed to be mutually satisfied with the experience, and to have impressed each other so much. Kieran and Malden spent the rest of the evening watching the other matches, which were all equally interesting. 
      When the show was over, they decided to go to sleep, but it was impossible for them not to discuss everything they had seen. They spent most of the night talking about these incredible shows, and then they went into their most incredible daydreams. Every time they found themselves in complete darkness, they had this urge to remake the world.
      - So you want to be an Aphorist now?
      - I don't know. Now that I've seen all the fights I still want to do something else, I can't decide.
      - It was atmology, that doesn't prevent you from being an Aphorist on the side. It's a martial art. -
    And you, are you still in the idea of being an Inleier?
      - Yeah, I think it's going to stay. I like the idea of using my emotions to do something with them. I know that at the Inleier house, I'll get what I need. - Doesn't it scare you to know that you have to dip into your animal reserves to fight?
      - No, since I want to do lightning atmology as part of the healing. If I have a problem, I can fix it.
      - Or Sylvania can heal you! Kieran exclaimed in a burst of laughter.
    Malden laughed in his turn with an embarrassed air before kicking him.
      - You're an idiot! Anyway, she has a much better future ahead of her.
- Aren't you supposed to meet tomorrow?
      - Yes, she's got a few things to teach me on the piano. And then apparently she composed another song. Maybe she can join the band with Teano and us. It would be great if she could come with us, but she's still got some crazy restrictions with her mom...
    - You'd be happy if she was there, right, Kieran said.
      - Yeah, I'd be happy if she joined us.
      For the past few weeks, Kieran had suspected that Malden had feelings for their friend. Although he denied it, the young man was still very attracted to Sylvania, but the nature of this attraction was still very unclear to him. Only one thing was clear: something in Sylvania reminded him a little Mélva, his twin sister. He missed her a lot. Because of Kieran's teasing and this unsettled feeling, Malden fell asleep dreaming about them.
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ffxvhoe · 7 years ago
Note
I hope this is alright. My supercrush this week is Noct and I'm a young mom, so could you do him in a relationship with a reader who has a young child from a past relationship? However you feel like doing it
I had such a good time writing this.  I hope you enjoy bb!
( @sonsoflucis @xnoctits @noxfreyas @paopuicecream @fieryfantasy @ultimoogle @wolfgoddess77 @itshaejinju)
The first time you had met Noctis was a few years prior.  You had been one of the new workers brought in to help with the rebuilding of the kingdom after the ordeal with Ardyn and the Starscourge.  You weren’t quite sure how you ended up being the person picked for the job when there were certainly more people with more experience.  You supposed you should have entertained the possibility that you would actually be chosen when you applied for the job.  
You’d applied on a whim, needing the better pay that this new administrative job would offer should you get it.  Working a full time job during the weekdays and then a part time job during the weekends to provide for your son and yourself was starting to take its toll on you.  You figured if the Astrals blessed you with this new job, not only would you begin to get some more sleep back but you’d also have a little more free time to spend with your child.  
Looking back on it now, you supposed you hadn’t really met Noctis so much as been in the same room as him and a dozen others as everyone went over the first order of business to begin the rebuilding.  No, when you’d first truly met the King it had been when he’d called you in to introduce you to Ignis whom you’d be working closely with to oversee the efforts of the rest of the workers.  His smile had been kinder than you’d imagined, albeit a tad tired.  That was understandable though considering he likely wasn’t getting much sleep with everything going on.  
“It’s nice to meet you,” Noctis had said once he had finished discussing all he needed to go over with the two of you.  “If you have any questions feel free to ask Ignis, he’ll be happy to help.”  You nodded with a quick “thank you” before heading out the door to begin your first task.
From then on you’d met with the King every other month to go over the progress that had been made and any other issues you felt needed to be brought to his attention.  At first you had felt like you were overstepping some sort of boundary, giving your own thoughts and feedback on the reconstruction efforts, but Noctis always did his best to try and put you at ease.  The first time you had come to see Noctis without Ignis you were pretty sure you were shaking like a leaf in the wind.  The second time wasn’t a whole lot better, but gradually you became more comfortable in his presence.  
Now that you thought about it, there really hadn’t been much to cause you to be anxious save for the fact he was the King, but even then he hardly acted like you would expect a King to act.  He was very laid back and the way he talked to you was so casual.  As the months wore on and you continued your monthly meetings with the King, you came to realize that you would stay a little bit later each visit.  At first you tried to draw out the time with him by simply adding more things to talk about with work, but soon enough you found yourself and Noctis discussing other things.  He would ask you how you found your new job to be, you would ask how he had adjusted to being King.  He would ask what your favorite movie was, and you would ask what he did during whatever free time he was able to scrounge together.
The night where things noticeably changed between the two of you was during a night where you were pulling over time.  Luckily this hadn’t happened very often, and most nights you were home to cook dinner for your son and spend the rest of the night with him.  This night though there had been an issue with the area in which reconstruction efforts were happening.  You had done all you could to figure out a way to rectify the situation yourself and had even asked Ignis for input on the matter, but none of the solutions you had come up with would wholly fix the issue.  So that’s how you ended up in Noctis’s office at 10pm.  
Papers were spread over his desk, your shoes had come off an hour ago, and the two of you were both ready to burn the papers to cinders.  You both had been tossing ideas back and forth for Astrals knew how long at this point, but whenever the two of you would go into how to put the plan into action there was always some part that wouldn’t work.  “Astrals take me now,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair, head tilted back to face the ceiling.  When you sat upright once more you noticed Noctis was pinching the bridge of his nose.  “I’m going to go make some tea, do you want any?” You asked, standing from your seat and stretching.  Oh it felt so good to stand.
“I have a better idea,” Noctis replied, looking up at you.  You raised a brow, waiting for him to elaborate.  “Let’s go get something to eat.  There’s a diner that should still be open right now just outside of the Citadel.”
“But what about-”
“If I have to think about this any longer I’m going to either lose my mind or trash my office.  I’m King, and I say we go eat.”  You couldn’t help the amused smile that came to your face.
One of the best things you’d witnessed that night was a man who was suppose to be royalty put away a cheeseburger and large side of fries within fifteen minutes.  As he inhaled his food, the two of you sparked up a new conversation, though thankfully this time it had nothing to do with work.  Or current work, that is.  “You know I use to be a waitress here,” you said as you looked around at the establishment with a bit of nostalgia reflected in your eyes. 
“I thought you said you use to work at some office?”
“I did,” you replied, eyes returning to Noctis.  “But I also worked here part time.”
“Did your other job not pay well?”  He asked.
“It did if I were providing for just myself.”  At Noctis’s slightly confused look you elaborated.  “I have a six year old son.  His father left one night right after the pregnancy so it’s just been the two of us looking out for one another since then.  I definitely don’t mind being a single parent,” you were quick to say.  “I mean it’s difficult at times, sure, but I can hardly imagine not having him in my life at this point,” you said fondly.  
You couldn’t read the look Noctis was giving you, but something told you that what you’d just said had hit some chord in him.  “I should give you a raise,” he muttered.  You were quick to shoot down that offer though.
“No, no, please.  What I make now is definitely enough to make living a lot easier now,” you said.  “Thank you, though.”  Noctis gave you a final look before relenting with a sigh and a nod.  The night ended with the two of you walking your separate ways back home after Noctis told you that you could pick up on with work the following day.
From then on it became a fairly regular occurrence for the two of you to eat together.  Most of the time he would call you in for lunch as he didn’t want take you away from your son.  On the nights that you ended up having to work over time, however, the night would end much like your first night out together: with the two of you parting ways at the diner after an hour or so spent talking with each other.
When the two of you officially began dating nobody really made much of a fuss around he Citadel, though of course there were the handful of people that insisted Noctis should only consider other people of royalty as his companion.  It didn’t take long for Noctis to quiet those complaints.
One night – as you and Noctis were getting up to leave the diner that had more or less become a special place to you whether you wanted it to be or not – Noctis caught your wrist before you turned to head home.  “Uh…do you think I could meet him?”  Noctis was looking off to the side, almost looking nervous about what your response might end up being.  It took you a moment to understand who “him” was, but thinking back to your conversation earlier you soon remembered.
You couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed on your face at his request.  “I would love that,” you said.  Though you had grown extremely comfortable around Noctis, what with working so closely with him and spending so much time outside of work with him, a small part of you still worried that he wouldn’t quite accept your son.  Hearing him actually ask to meet the light of your life both made your body nearly deflate in relief and your heart give a small pang.  
“Wow,” Kier said as the two of you walked down the halls of the Citadel hand in hand.  “How do you not get lost, Mama?”
“Oh I’ve definitely gotten lost a few times,” you said with a small laugh.  You turned a corner, the door to Noctis’s office coming into view.  As you continued walking towards that ornately carved entrance you couldn’t help the butterflies that began flitting around in your stomach.  You shook your head the slightest bit at yourself.  No, stop it, Noctis will love him.
You knocked on the door before pushing the carved wood open.  There, seated at his desk with a stack of papers before him was Noctis.  He looked up as the door opened and smiled as he took in the sight of you and your son.  Standing from his desk, Noctis walked around to greet you with a quick kiss to your cheek before bending down to be eye level with Kier.  You couldn’t help the small chuckle that left you at how wide your son’s eyes got as he looked at the King.  “You must be Kier,” Noctis said with a gentle smile.  “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Kier immediately moved to try and hide behind you, hands clutching at your pants.  Just several minutes ago, as you two were on your way to the Citadel, Kier had been raving about how excited he was to meet King Noctis.  Now that he was finally in his presence, however, it seemed your little boy was more than a little nervous.  “Don’t be scared,” you said with a smile, turning around to hoist Kier up into your arms.  “Say hi,” you urged.
“Hello,” Kier said, voice soft.  You were sure that your son wasn’t going to say much else, but suddenly he blurted out, “Do you love my mama?”  You felt a slight blush crawl up your neck at his question.
“Very much,” Noctis said, a fond look settling in his eyes as he glanced at you.
“Good,” Kier said with a firm nod.  “Because my mama likes you a lot.”  You felt the heat in your cheeks increase.  Noctis let out a laugh at that moment, though, that left you with a smile of your own gracing your features.  With the ice seemingly broken, Kier launched into a conversation with the King.  Throughout the entire dialogue between the two, Noctis never once looked bored or like his patience was being tested.  As the two of them spoke, you couldn’t help the swell of your chest as you watched them interact with one another.
And a part of you found yourself wondering if – hoping that – one day this would be a constant in your life.
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shadowsong26x · 7 years ago
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TLJ Reaction Post!
Putting everything behind a cut just in case, to avoid spoilers. Also, any TLJ-related posts I either write or reblog will be tagged as listed here.
Feel free to reply/reblog/ask/whatever if you want to discuss!
So, that was an experience.
First, quick reaction--while I was watching it, it was overall engaging/good. I had some issues even in the moment, but most of what I’m going to write up here was of the fridge logic variety?
Things I liked:
- Leia getting a STRAIGHT-UP ACTUAL JEDI MOMENT. Yes, I am talking about her flying through space like Mary Poppins and yes it was ridiculous but again it was a Jedi Moment sooooooooo there it is.
- All of the combat scenes/lightsaber duels in particular were really well put together. The throne room duel (which I’ll talk about that whole scene in some detail later), Finn vs. Phasma, Astral Projection Luke vs Kylo Ren (side note: I had seen a poster or clip or something before this, and I was Very Annoyed that Luke’s lightsaber was blue pretty much for the same reason I get irrationally irritated when Padme is tagged/drawn in the Gothic Peacock dress and the fact that elbows don’t grow back oh my god--minor continuity details that make a difference but don’t really matter in the long run; but the fact that Luke chose to project himself with the Heirloom Lightsaber(tm) that blew up ten minutes ago made that make sense and was delightful in hindsight) the space combat--the red dust on Crait, though, so cool the way it did visual things.
- Pretty much everything to do with Finn and Rose’s plotline (except I was sad that there was no Lando cameo at Canto Bight)
- Most of the stuff with Amilyn I liked a lot too. Especially her flipping badass Last Stand. (I also liked the fact that the bulk of high command was women, and they made a point of showing off all the lady piliots)
- Luke and Leia’s reunion moment made me bawl in a very good way. (Side note: I’m pretty sure she knew all along he was Astral Projection Luke. In part because how else could he have gotten there, in part because, as my friend who I went to see it with pointed out, he projected himself exactly as he would have been the last time she saw him. Also the much shorter and darker hair which I feel is very impractical to manage in an X-wing cockpit)
- That little kid on Canto Bight. Oh, that little kid on Canto Bight, who reminded me so much of TPM!Anakin I can’t even. (There’s a whole potential Thing here, that my friend pointed out to me, re: Light/Dark/Balance a la Daughter/Son/Father from Mortis where we might be going for Kylo as Dark, Rey as Balance, Tiny as Light? I’m not sure if I actually want the story to go there or not but it’s at least interesting as a vague concept!)
- I love Poe. Just...Poe was delightful in this film, as he figures out exactly how Being In Command works, his relationship with Leia, his back-and-forth with Amilyn...
- I liked that the bridge/whatever between Rey and Kylo was clearly set up to parallel Luke and Leia, rather than anything romantic--to the point where Luke and Leia had a Twin Moment that then immediately cut to one of the shared dreams and that can’t have been an accident.
- There was a lot of really great dialogue in this film. Just in general. “Do you think you got him.” “I don’t think they like me very much.”/”I can’t imagine why.” “What are you looking at me for? Follow him!” Leia and Amilyn’s goodbye (which, side note--I read the Leia novel, and I definitely thought she and Amilyn had more chemistry than she and Kier did, also there’s a...something percolating in the back of my brain about Kier and Lando and the similar choices they made when their people were in danger and they felt their backs were against the wall, and what that might mean in terms of added context for Leia’s choices/actions in ESB, but that is a topic for a different post)
- While this was not the Force Ghost(s) I was looking for, I enjoyed Yoda’s appearance a whole heck of a lot.
- Rey and Poe finally actually met! And it was a very nice meeting!
- The fact that, once again, the last intelligible dialogue in the film went to Leia (because Tiny was speaking in another language)
Things I am neutral about but I feel bear mentioning:
- The reveal(?) about Rey’s parentage--I’m not sure whether or not Kylo Ren was lying, but I’m honestly okay with it either way. I mean, I’ve been on team Rey Kenobi, so to speak, from the beginning [partly because I think it makes a more interesting narrative than Rey Skywalker; partly because Obi-Wan’s line of descent, if he has one (and, whether it comes from Korkie and Satine or not, I think it could be credibly written that he does)...it makes much more sense that it would be lost the way Rey’s backstory establishes than either of Luke or Leia’s children being lost. And the potential alternatives (i.e., Shmi having had a child before Anakin and they were sold separately or something, or Anakin’s DNA being used to sire another child because Reasons, would require a lot more setup than we’ve got); also I kind of like the idea of Finn Skywalker though that ship has probably sailed]. Where was I...anyway, while I prefer that story, I don’t actually dislike any of the potential theories (except the reincarnation one). And Rey Nobody (I think is what it was called?) has its own appeal, definitely. So...I guess my reaction to that is a nonreaction? Especially since I can’t make up my mind whether or not it’s true...
- I wasn’t super invested in any shipping in this trilogy, but honestly as far as I’m concerned we now have a third possible endgame pairing for Finn and I like all three. (I’d rather not discuss this particular point in overmuch detail, because as I said I’m not super invested in any ST ships and I know a lot of people are and I’d rather not get argued at on the subject).
- I have no idea how I feel about the Heirloom Lightsaber(tm) being destroyed? But the crystal seemed to be intact sooooooo we’ll see.
- Snoke’s ridiculous golden bathrobe???????
Things I liked less:
- I’m not thrilled with how Luke was written. Like...I can make it make sense. I can draw the roadmap in my brain of how we got from the Luke I know and love to the Luke we saw in this movie (including in the flashback) but it takes a lot of backhacking, so to speak. Honestly, if I ever get this far in a canon-aligned fic timeline, I would definitely go in a different direction (frex, if Masks ever comes back off hiatus and I get to Martyrs, which is the third part of that AU and is set in this timeframe, it would no longer be an In Spite Of A Nail AU from here).
(This sort of ties into...look, if I was going to assign a cardinal narrative sin to each of the trilogies (looking only at how the story is structured here), the PT has pacing issues, the OT was made up as it went along and it shows in several points; but the ST? The ST relies way too much on It’s All There In The Manual. I’ve read some of the Manual, but not all of it, because I mostly hang out in the PT corner of the fandom, but it was an issue in TFA and it was an issue again in TLJ. Amilyn and Leia, I think, suffered from this the most, but Luke’s headspace probably did, too.)
- I’m not super thrilled with the fact that we got introduced to a lot of interesting new characters, and almost all of them just...died. And I kept looking for familiar faces from TFA in the background of the Resistance and...yeah, they weren’t there.
- This is...this is maybe not going to come off as super articulate when I try to explain myself, but it actually bothers me a lot. And that’s that...there’s...there’s no...
Look. To me, above all things, Star Wars is about Redemption. It is about finding the spark of light in the darkness, and fanning it into a flame. And I say this even as someone who primarily hangs out in the PT part of fandom, which is in some ways structured as the opposite (i.e., find the speck of darkness in the light and feed it until it consumes all). Because it’s still there at the end. We still have that spark--in the twins, and in their guardians--and we are nurturing it until it is ready to burst into a proper flame and it also set up Anakin’s motivations in a way that led to/added to the credibility/impact of the eventual redemption arc. (Like I said, I’m not sure I can articulate this well, but it’s a Thing, okay?) And, yes, I get that the ST is coming at this find-the-light-in-the-dark theme from a different angle which is fine, I guess, I just...I just...
There is no antagonist (who has been at all developed) who is redeemable at this point.
Like--I didn’t really care about Kylo Ren as Kylo Ren. I cared about his (potential and now thwarted) redemption arc because see above about how that’s what Star Wars is to me. And where we left off at the end of TFA, he could still credibly be redeemed. And now, even without all the explicit ROTJ parallels (up to and including straight-up quoted dialogue), that door is closed. A redemption arc for him from here would not be credible.
And no one else in the First Order is developed enough for it, except maybe Hux, who also has credibility issues (to draw a comparison, that would be like trying to write a redemption arc for Tarkin, aka essentially impossible without an AU breakpoint when he was like twelve or younger at which point it’s not a redemption arc it’s a completely different story.) Phasma (assuming she isn’t actually dead, which I think she’s not but ehhh she might be) isn’t developed enough. No one else in the First Order who’s still alive has an on-screen not-All-There-In-The-Manual name, so it wouldn’t have the necessary emotional/narrative payoff.
And that’s...that’s...I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. I mean...it actually weirdly bothers me less than I thought it would, when I was trying to talk about this a year or so ago? I have no idea why, because like I thought that would be something that would make me completely break away at least from the ST era/corner of the fandom. And yet it’s not. But it’s still...Star Wars has always sold itself as straight up Good Vs Evil, but has had that...coming home. Or something? Like I said, not sure I’m too articulate about it. But I don’t like that this happened the way it did.
And also, just...like, think about what it would have been if they had just gone ahead and played the ROTJ aspects straight. If Ben Solo had come home, the way Anakin Skywalker did--without dying. We would get the story we never got with Vaderkin, of clawing his way back and atoning and making amends. We barely even got it with Ventress (side note: there’s a Thing in the back of my head that I’m not sure I can get out in any articulate way about the parallels between Anakin and Ventress because man.) (Also I think there might be a plot like this in Rebels, but I haven’t seen it yet so IDK for sure.)
Sigh. I don’t know. I think we’re going to get an interesting story about the way things did go, which may be part of why I’m less upset than I thought I would be. But I am upset.
(Side note: I do think that Snoke’s death was really well-put-together/well-played. I genuinely didn’t see it coming until the Heirloom Lightsaber started turning. Like...I pretty much figured that it wasn’t going to go how either Rey or Kylo saw it, because (even before Snoke said he made the bridge between them) I pretty much figured they’d both seen what they wanted to see/their ideal ending for the confrontation, so I knew it would be some kind of third option, but I did not expect the one we got and the way it was presented/approached was extremely effective; I just have serious, serious issues with where it went from there).
- I wish there had been more Leia. And Maz. And Phasma.
- I wish it had done more to expand on/develop the relationships/answer the questions/etc. established by TFA. In some ways, it feels more like “this is a series of events that happened in the wake of that,” rather than a continuation? This was mostly a problem with Poe’s storyline--Rey’s did okay at that, though if the backstory reveal was true it was a little disappointingly presented and if it’s not it didn’t resolve enough; and Finn’s did reasonably well. (Also, there were supposed to be Knights of Ren???? Were these the students that Kylo Ren left with after burning Luke’s Temple? What happened to them? Were those the people he and Rey killed in the throne room?????)
- On a much pettier note--what the fuck even was up with the timeline???? HOW SHORT ARE THE DAYS ON AHCH-TO? WHAT ABOUT FREAKING TRAVEL TIME--FTL TRAVEL IN THIS UNIVERSE IS NOT INSTANTANEOUS AND THAT IS EXPLICITLY REFERENCED IN THIS VERY FILM. Congratulations, Star Wars, you now have a film with a timeline that makes even less sense than ESB. [ROTS doesn’t, either, although that one’s more a question of ‘exactly how long is it between the Invisible Hand and Utapau because I don’t buy the ‘less than two weeks’ from the novel, but beyond that it could be anywhere from like a month to like three or four...but that makes sense, it’s just unclear.)
And, because I like to end on a positive note--there’s a lot I do genuinely enjoy/like/even love about this movie. Is it my favorite? Probably not; I don’t know exactly where I’d rank it, but probably in the Bottom Tier (I have sort of three tiers in terms of ‘Which Of These Puppies Licking My Face Am I Most Likely To Take Home If I Can Only Have One’ and they fluctuate a fair amount other than ESB, AOTC, and ROTS are consistently in the top tier). But there’s enough about it that I liked that I’m going to see it again, and while the things I disliked were for the most part serious issues, they weren’t enough to make me want to avoid the film itself. I’m hoping the next movie answers some more things, I’m hoping Phasma and Baby Canto Bight Jedi come back, I’m looking forward to Force Ghost Luke (and maybe the others fingers crossed).
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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years ago
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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND July 26, 2019  - ONCE UPON A TIME … IN HOLLYWOOD, SKIN
Gonna try to make this a lighter column this week since I’m still recovering from a combination of Comic-Con and the heat wave that struck New York last weekend.
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Of course, the big movie of the weekend is Quentin Tarantino’s ONCE UPON A TIME IN… HOLLYWOOD (Sony), which has such an amazing concept and trailer and cast that I’m not sure what more I can say about it besides my review below. It does have an amazing cast led by Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio and Margot Robbie with an amazing supporting cast around them. Oh, just read the review…
My Once Upon a Time… Review
Plus you can read more about the movie’s box office prospects over at The Beat.
LIMITED RELEASES
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The one limited release I do recommend is Guy Nattiv’s SKIN (A24/DirecTV), which premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year and then played Tribeca earlier this year. It stars Jamie Bell as the heavily-tattooed Bryon “Babs” Widner, a violent white supremacist part of a Midwest group led by Vera Farmiga and Bill Camp. When Bryon meets a single mother of three girls played by Danielle Macdonald (Patti Cake$), he starts to realize that his dangerous violent and racist actions are destroying him, so he turns to Mike Colter as a FBI agent looking to turn white supremacists, to save him. Based on the true story of Bryon, who actually did try to get out of the white supremacist ring and had all his tattoos removed surgically. Nattiv is a really talented filmmaker, and if his name or the title of the movie sounds familiar, that’s because he won the Oscar for live action short earlier this year for a semi-related movie with the same title.  More importantly, the film marks a career best for Bell, who just carries himself so differently that it’s hard to believe that it’s the same actor who played Bernie Taupin in Rocketman. I definitely recommend seeking this one out in select theaters and On Demand this Friday.
Also, I’ll have an interview with Jamie Bell over at The Beatlater this week and another one with director Guy Nattiv over at Next Best Picture very soon, as well.
There are a number of great docs to check out this week, but one definitely worth checking out is Avi Belkin’s MIKE WALLACE IS HERE (Magnolia), which looks at the controversial career of newsman and interviewer who helped make CBS’s “60 Minutes” one of the hottest news programs on television even while being persecuted for his “Gotcha” tactics with some of the great world leaders. This is a fantastic doc that’s assembled from a lot of archival footage of Wallace’s interview as well as a more recent conversation with his “60 Minutes” co-host Morly Safer.sIt opens at the Landmark at 57 Streetand Angelika in New York on Friday, as well as L.A. Landmark 12 and then expands to other citieson August 2.
Another doc that’s more cinema verité but still interesting is Ljubomir Stefanov & Tamara Kotevska’s HONEYLAND (NEON), which follows a woman named Hatidze, living in the mountains of Macedonia with her ailing mother who makes a living with beekeeping, a practice that runs into issue when a family moves in next door to her who threatens her livelihood.  It opens at the Quad Cinemain New York
Now, we get to the movies I haven’t had a chance to see just yet…
I do want to see Waad al-Kateab and Edward Watts’s FOR SAMA (PBS Distribution), which trades Waad’s life through five years of the Aleppo uprising in Syria, as she falls in love, gets married and gives birth with the conflict around her. It’s told as a message to Waad’s daughter Sama.
Entertainment and The Comedy director Rick Alverson’s The Mountain (Kino Lorber/Vice Studios)starring Jeff Goldblum and Tye Sheridan opens at the IFC Center in New York and Landmark Nuart in L.A. Friday. Sheridan plays an introverted photographer in the ‘50s who joins a legendary lobotomist (Goldblum) on a tour to promote the doctor’s procedure, becoming enamored with a young woman played by Hannah Gross. The movie also stars Denis Lavant and Udo Kier, and I hope to check it out although I have not been a fan of Alverson’s work up until now.
Opening at New York’s Village East Friday and in L.A. at the Laemmle Music Hall is Benjamin Gilmour’s Jirga starring Sam Smith – no, not the singer – as an Australian soldier who returns to his village after being accused of war crimes, so he puts his life at the mercy of the village’s justice system, the Jirga.
James Longley’s documentary Angels are Made of Light (Grasshopper Films), opening at New York’s Film Forum Wednesday, follows three Afghan brothers in war-ton Kabul.
Caper Van Diem from Starship Troopers stars in Chris Helton’s Dead Water (Lionsgate/Saban Films) a man who invites a friend and his beautiful wife onto his new yacht so they can relax, which leads to a deadly game once they’re boarded by a modern-day pirate.  It opens in select theaters and On Demand.
David Mahmoudieh’s See You Soon (Vertical) is a love story between a US soccer star with a career-threatening injury who has a romance with a Russian single mother.
Opening at the IFC Center in New York is Austrian filmmaker Marie Kreutzer’s psychological thriller The Ground Beneath My Feet (Strand Releasing) about a woman named Lola (Valerie Pachner, winner of the Maguery Prize), who is trying to succeed in the business world while having a secret relationship with her boss Elise and dealing with her older sister’s mental illness, which leads to a suicide attempt.  
STREAMING AND CABLE
Karim Amer and Jehane Noujaim’s doc The Great Hack looks at the data company Cambridge Analytica and how it used social media to try to affect (successfully) the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. It streams on Netflix starting Wednesday
Netflix also has three new foreign films streaming this week:
Olivier Afonso’s Girls with Balls is a French horror-comedy about a women’s volleyball team who are terrorized by a group of hunters while stranded in the woods.  Sebastian Schindel’s Spanish psychological thriller El Hijo (The Son)is about a 50-year-old painter who is getting ready to have a baby with his new wife until she becomes obsessed with the baby isolating him. From Spain comes Jorge M. Fontana’s Boiabout a chauffeur who drives two Chinese businessmen around Barcelona and getting caught up in an adventure with them.
Also, the 7thseason of Orange is the New Black – 7thSeason!? Man, I need to catch up – debuts on Friday.
I’m pretty excited thatThe Boys series is beginning on Amazon Prime on Friday, cause I generally like the work of Garth Ennis and artist Darick Robertson, even though I never got as into this Dynamite series as much as I should have.
REPERTORY
METROGRAPH (NYC):
Japanese actor Machiko Kyō, who passed away in May at the age of 95, gets a full-on retrospective running through August 1. I’ve seen Akira Kurosawa’s Rashomonand maybe a couple others but this is mostly focusing on her ‘50s work, including Ozu’s Floating Weeds, and I might have to try to check some of these out. Metrograph is also opening a restoration of Rob Nillson’s 1996 film Chalk, a drama centered around a pool hall with Nillson in person on Friday and Saturday nights. This week’s Late Nites at Metrograph is Pedro Almodovar’s excellent 1989 film Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!starring Antonio Banderas, whilePlaytime: Family Matinees is screening George Stevens’ 1953 Western Shane.
THE NEW BEVERLY  (L.A.):
Well, it looks like Tarantino has decided to use his own theater to show Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood day and night through the end of the month and most of those shows are sold out so… The couple exceptions are Weds afternoon’s screening of the James Bond movie You Only Live Twice, the Weds. night George Hamilton double feature of Evel Knievel  (1971) and Jack of Diamonds (1967),  the weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE of Herbie Fully Loaded (yes, the 2005 movie starring Lindsay Lohan) and then Martin Scorsese’s The Aviator(2004) on Monday afternoon.
FILM FORUM (NYC):
The Forum’s amazing Burt Lancaster retrospective continues this weekend with classics like The Sweet Smell of Success (1957) and From Here to Eternity  (1953) on Friday, as well as Criss Cross (1949)on Saturday/Sunday and Luchino Visconti’s The Leopard (1963) on Sunday. Monday is a  1948 double feature of All My Sons &Sorry Wrong Number, while Tuesday is double features of The Crimson Pirate (1952) and Jacques Tournuer’s The Flame and the Arrow (1950). Also the restoration of Robert Siodmak’s The Killers (1946)has been extended for select screenings starting Friday.
EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):
On Thursday, this week’s installment of “Highballs and Screwballs” is His Girl Friday (1940) with  Call Northside 777  (1948). On Friday, Helen Slater Jr. will be on  hand for a double feature of Superman  (1978) with Supergirl  (1984). Saturday sees a six-film “Warner Bros. Horror/Sci-Fi Marathon” of House on Haunted Hill (1958), The Thing from Another World (1951), Tod Browning’s Freaks  (1932),Them! (1954), The Haunting  (1953) and Jacques Tourneur’s Cat People(1942) – some real classics in there.
QUAD CINEMA (NYC):
I got to watch three of the six movies in the “Fresh Meat: Giallo Restorations Part II” over the weekend and you can still see a few of them over the next couple days.
IFC CENTER (NYC)
Starting Friday and running through August 15, the IFC Center is running Abbas Kiorastami: A Retrospective (Janus Films), the most comprehensive retrospective of the late Iranian filmmaker with film critic Godfrey Chesire doing a few discussions of Kiorastami’s work including the World Premiere of a restoration of his “Koker Trilogy” AND the theater is offering special Ticket Packs, so you can plan on seeing multiple films in the series.
FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):
This is Cinema Now: 21st Century Debuts  continues through the end of the month with a number of highlights including Saturday night’s double feature of Jordan Peele’s Get Out and Jennifer Kent’s The Babadook. (Oddly, Ms. Kent’s second feature The Nightingaleopens next week!)
BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):
I’m going to try to write about BAM’s new series We Can’t Even: Millennials on Film without snickering or being snarky, mainly because I can’t believe it’s taken so long for one of these rep/arthouses to do something like this. Running from July 24 through August 6, the line-up is actually pretty impressive in terms of recent movies, ranging from Natalie Portman’s Vox Lux to the Oscar-winning Moonlight, Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird, Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring, David Fincher’s The Social Network and much more.
Actually, my bud Jordan Hoffman wrote a story on this series for AM New York if you need any more convincing.
MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):
Astoria’s premiere arthouses continues the series “Barbara Hammer: Superdyke” through the weekend, and they’re showing the Oscar-nominated animated film The Secret of the Kellsthrough the weekend. This weekend also is a series called “Verneuil Populaire: Vintage Thrillers from France’s Genre Maestro” which includes The Sicilian Clan (1969) on Friday, A Monkey in Winter (1962) and two more on Saturday, and The Burglars (1971) and Fear over the City (1975) on Sunday.
ROXY CINEMA (NYC)
Wednesday night is another screening of The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967), starring Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate – the film on which they met – plus Friday and Sunday, the Roxy is showing Valley of the Dolls (1967), also starring Tate. Could this be meant as a tie-in to Tarantino’s film? Could be…
LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):
Friday’s midnight movie is Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park.
AEROin L.A. and MOMAin New York are both going through renovations.
Next week… Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw!
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CHRONIC PAIN
This is the present. With Kier having Amnesia after being found.
The one thing I love about this is how Theo's demeanor has changed. Like he's a whole lot more protective after finding Kier again.
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Theo grabbed the keys off the little side table next to the door.
He checked if he left anything. Everything checked out now all that's left was his friend.
"Kier, I'm ready, let's go!" He called out.
He'd probably been living with Kier for a month since they found him again.
Lately Kier's been having terrible migraines that will not leave Theo feared that it might be something serious. He'd just take him to the hospital he worked for a check then maybe know what's happening.
He heard the toilet flush then a few moments later Kier walked into the wiping his mouth.
It's still very bad.
He was wearing some glasses to help with the light sensitivity and had headphones in his neck. The outside can be pretty noisy.
He gave Theo a slight nod and weak smile to let Theo know he was ready.
He looked terrible. The pain made it hard for him to sleep or do pretty much anything.
He was still recovering and losing his food each time the pain flared up didn't make things any better. Finally Theo decided he needed a hospital.
He put on his headphones as he walked out. Theo closed the door behind him.
The car ride was quiet and Kier tried to get some sleep. He was so exhausted.
When they got there he was woken up by a slight tugging of his dark hoodie.
Theo motioned that it was time to get out.
This was probably his first time out of the house after waking up.
He moved slowly since every step made the throbbing a little bit more painful. He luckily didn't have to walk any more. He sat on the chairs in the reception while Theo went to talk to the receptionist.
He pulled his head back letting it rest on the wall behind. The wall's coolness helped a little.
Next he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Theo again telling him they could go see the doctor now.
He came with one older lady who Keir assumed was the doctor and a person he looked to be the nurse. The nurse had a wheelchair with him.
It was obviously for him. He slowly got up and sat on the chair.
The nurse just wheeled him around from one place to the next.
They drew his blood and took some scans.
The entire time he was there she talked to Theo.
Using medical terms he knows he couldn't understand. Theo was familiar with the woman because he himself works here.
They were in the doctor's office now.
When her and Theo were done. Theo turned to him to actually relay what was going on.
The hospital was quiet so he could take his headphones off.
"She'll need to ask you some questions." Theo informed him in a soft tone so as not to be too loud.
"Ok." Kier agreed. His voice was pretty strained because of how exhausted he was.
Then he turned to the doctor.
"How long has this been happening?" She asked.
"It's been 2 weeks." Theo answered before he could.
She gave him a side glance then turned back to Kier.
Who just nodded agreeing with Theo.
"Have you experienced any traumatic events recently?" She looked at Theo telling him to keep quiet.
Kier lowered his gaze, hesitating to answer the Doctor's question.
"I…… don't know…….. I don't remember."
The doctor was kind of shocked to hear this and actually looked to Theo for an answer.
"I can't tell you exactly what happened but when I found him. He had sustained many injuries and when he woke up he couldn't remember a single thing about what happened or much about himself. He only recently remembered his name." Theo informed her.
Kier definitely felt embarrassed about how this was going.
Being unable to remember is one thing but having things done for him like he was a child felt terrible.
"Oh. I see." She said turning to Kier. She looked like she was trying to figure out how to solve a problem.
"Well it could have been some head trauma but we'll find out when the tests come back."
Just as she finished speaking a nurse walked in. She was an older woman probably the same age as Dr Dima or older.
"Dr Dima, the tests are ready." She announced, walking past them and going straight to the doctor. Handing her the files.
While Dr Dima looked through the tests while the nurse's eyes moved over to Kier. She gave him a strange look. Trying to figure out where she's seen him.
"Thank you." Dr Dima looked up at the nurse.
"Is there anything else, nurse?" Dima asked, shaking the nurse out of her intense thought.
"Oh no that's all Dr Dima." With that the nurse left the room.
Kier got a slight feeling of Deja Vu from her.
The visit was over and in the end the doctor just pointed out something in the scan saying something about some part of his brain being swollen. She thinks it will go down eventually. She says it might be what's causing the memory loss and pain and gives him some medication. He'll be going back for regular check ups. She even recommended some therapy.
He was out in the waiting room again while Theo stayed in with her, probably talking more medical stuff.
They gave him something for the pain and it started working.
The same nurse from before approached him. She had a more accomplished look on her face.
"Kier." She said in a celebratory manner as she approached him.
Kier didn't really remember the lady but he still had a nagging feeling that he knew her.
She sat next to him.
"My goodness, child you've grown so much. You were only knee length the last time I saw you." She reached out and hugged him.
He was frozen not really knowing what to do. When the woman pulled out she looked to be getting a little emotional.
Maybe this woman can help him figure out who he is.
"You …… you know who I am?" He asked.
"Oh baby, I wouldn't forget you. I was your nurse till you were about 7 or was it 9?"
She wiped out a tiny tear.
"You were such a little performer. Edna was always cheering you on." She smiled as she remembered a childhood he had lost.
"Edna?"
That name felt special. He loved that name.
"Oh child, your mother Edna."
His…... what? Images started flashing again. He could see a woman, she wore lots of pearls and gold.
"My……. Mother?" He asked, his voice breaking.
Why can't he remember? He felt like he should know at least this much. Why doesn't he know? The pain was back. Much worse. He couldn't take it.
The woman didn't seem to notice she was still thinking of the past.
"Yes, what a lovely woman she was, such a lovely and larger than life personality and glamorous fashion sense." She chuckled.
The woman paused, turning to him. He had grown pale and was holding his head. He looked like he was hurting.
"Baby are you okay."
He sank to the floor. He tried not to scream as each image came flashing in his mind.
At that moment Theo walked out.
"Kier." Theo gasped worried.
He sank down to him. Holding his shoulders.
"Hey what happened?"
Kier grit his teeth. It just kept coming.
"It…….. hurts…….so much." He said through clenched teeth.
"I'll go get the doctor." The nurse said. She stood and left. She came back with Dr Dima.
She looked a little surprised at how he had gotten worse so quickly.
"Let's take him to a bed "
Kier couldn't stand up. The pain in his head was too much. He breathed heavily as it just kept pulsing through every part of him. His vision was switching out of focus.
Theo helped him stand up and began leading him away.
He didn't have to walk far and was laid down.
His face still contorted with the pain he felt.
Gritting his teeth so bad he looked like hh might crush them. His legs dug into the sheets. His hands were still holding his head.
"Get me pain killers now." Dr Dima ordered the nurse.
The nurse rushed out and came back moments later with a syringe filled with what the doctor ordered.
Through the pain he heard a prick at his arm then the pain was going away and everything was going dark.
Theo watched as the drugs began to work and his friend fell asleep on the hospital bed.
What could have caused this?
Dr Dima requested that he stay the night just in case and Theo couldn't refuse.
The nurse from before came in again.
"I'm sorry I think this was my fault." She apologized to Theo. As he sat next to his friend's bed.
Theo looked up at the older nurse.
"What do you mean?" He asked, puzzled.
"I asked him about his mother. I didn't know he didn't remember."
"You know his mother?"
"Yes, both of them. I was his nurse when he was a child." She explained with guilt in her voice. " Well I actually moved from my last hospital when he turned 9. So I hadn't seen him in a long time." She continued. She frowned as she looked at the young man in the hospital bed.
"Can you give me their names?" Theo asked. Standing up suddenly and leaning a little too close.
She jumped at his sudden enthusiasm.
"Y…. Yes, let me go write them down."
She walked out and he sat down.
His leg bounced as he waited for her. Then when he saw her come in he stood again.
She reached out to hand him a piece of paper. He grabbed it immediately.
That surprised her.
"There……. You go." She said and then turned away.
This was a big help Theo thought. To filling up Kier's missing pieces.
**************
@irathgo @smellofsnoww @luna-rein @febuwhump
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YESTERDAY, SUBJECT 1
DAY 2 9/29/17
She texts me this morning saying that she is cold and asking me for a charger, which she later refused as she had borrowed one from someone else. She came to the courtyard of our school and hung out with our group of friends. One girl made a comment comparing Yorkshire to a recently graduated senior, Nathalia. Then our other friend, Noelle, joined our small group. Yorkshire hugged him and the height difference was humourous! She is so much smaller than him that he could lift her with no effort. Our other friend, Susan, compared her to a toddler. We all parted ways and Yorkshire went to find her misplaced notebook, still not found from yesterday. We do not have class together until 5th period. Yorkshire sits in the back of the library her chromebook open in front of her. When I arrive at the library I walk to the back and she shows me a drawing she is working on, it is an avocado. It is very obviously an avocado and there is a tab open on her chromebook with a picture of an avocado, but still she asked me “Does this look like an avocado?”. She redraws her avocado while looking at other avocado art. I inform her that I need a picture of her avocado to post for reference, but she seems reluctant. “Why?” she asks, “this is for my class.” Yorkshire talks with her friend Maanjer about the upcoming Emmaus our school is hosting. Yorkshire then insult me saying “Since, (Author) is writing this as one big joke then I might as well just say something stupid.” I conclude that she has something personal she wants to share and is insulting my work to cover that. “So, what’s the stupid thing you wanted to say?” I ask her hoping to discover the information she is about to share. “Oh, I was just talking about petty shit I did this morning, during the fire drill I closed the door on Raymundo.” Perhaps she is saying that she still has unresolved feelings towards Raymundo. Not romantic feelings, but possibly anger or resentment. Yorkshire continues to draw the avocado blaming Maanjer every time she messes up. Yorkshire comes to the conclusion that she cannot draw. I believe her lack of self confidence may come from how she was raised. I move into the next part of my study and begin my questioning. I believe at this point you already understand her character. So, I feel it is time to begin the questioning part of this study to get an understanding of why she acts the way that she does. Yorkshire makes a comment saying, “[Author] types like a retard” I suppose that she is frustrated that her avocado is not coming out the way she wants it to.
Author-”Yorkshire, where did you grow up?”
Yorkshire- “Well, I was born at Albert Einstein. I grew up in the South Bronx.”
I interrupted her telling Maanjer, “She used to tell me that she grew up on a farm.”
Yorkshire-”Yes, I visited DR with my Aunt over the summer.”
I finish with my questions not wanting to make it obvious that I am interrogating her. She then continues onto another art piece, I believe she is drawing Maanjer, but she earlier said she would be moving on to a turtle. It turns out that I was correct, she is drawing Maanjer. However, after typing that I looked back to her drawing pad to see that she had erased what she was working on. I suppose she was unsatisfied with her work. She restarts her drawing and looks back to Maanjer trying to get her feautures perfect. This is the perfect opportunity for me to ask another question.
Author-”When did you move to Thorough Park?”
I know that she lives in Thorough Park because I have visited her at her home.
Yorkshire-”It wasn’t my decision it was my parent, oh when? I think, hmm, I think somewhere around 2006. But we moved a lot between 2006 and 2008.”
This new knowledge is very important. It shows that she possibly felt unstable as a young child moving around so often. It could also be the root of her trust issues. It is possible that her parents made promised such as “We are staying here” or “This is our new home” only for them to get up and move again. This may have caused her to develop trust issues and never feel stable even in a safe environment. I will ask her if she feels that moving around constantly was hard on her. However, if I ask too many questions she may feel overwhelmed. Yorkshire is very into her drawing that she completely ignores everything around her. Perhaps she will not feel overwhelmed with another question.
Author-”Would you say moving around a lot as a child was hard for you?”
Yorkshire- “I was young at the time, so, it didn’t really bother me as much as it would I guess if i was older.”
She moved 5 times, I believe that she has been impacted, but the constant moving however, she seems to not believe so. Yorkshire continues her drawing, it is disturbing. It appears as if she began drawing realism and then resorted to cartoon because she could not get certain features right. Yorkshire excited to sit on the couches in the library, as this period ended and we have a free next period as well, springs up only to see they are all occupied. She hopes, and I as well, that the other students will leave so that we can sit there. Yorkshire finishes her artwork by titling it Maanjer. There are two open seats at the sofas so I quickly make my way to one of them. I am hoping that the other students will leave as Maanjer grabbed the only other seat and I need to continue my study. Yorkshire comes and tried to squeeze between me and a girl whose name I do not know. She moves to the couch across from us and sits between Maanjer and Mikayla. As I mentioned before Yorkshire is very small and had no trouble fitting into the tight space. THough she is most definitely invading their personal space. The bell indicating the end of 5th period rings and the other students at the couches with us leaves. Yorkshire asks if our teacher who I call Mama Kier would allow Maanjer to sit in one of our classes. I don’t think she would allow this, but stay quiet and allow Yorkshire to come to the conclusion herself. She begins another drawing. Maanjer and Yorkshire have a conversation as a sit at an empty couch, and as I type this my friend Kami sits next me, studying Yorkshire’s actions. She is a very peculiar person. Of course I mean this in a good way. She is interesting to study because she does weird things and has an interesting past. This is why she was chosen to be my first subject. Her behavior is definitely because of everything she had been through and how she grew up. Yorkshire partakes in small talk with Maanjer as she works on her art. She continues to do this and I believe the rest of the period will go on in this manner. Yorkshire asks me “Do you have any stretch marks?” I am unsure of why she is asking me this question. Why does she want to know. I decide to walk over and see what she is drawing.She is drawing Maanjer’s body. I am only slightly concerned. I also notice that she has found her books. She says they were in our theology teacher’s classroom. Yorkshire attempts to ask me a question however she is not allowed to raise her voice so I do not hear her. She abandons her attempts at gaining my attentions and continues to draw. I decide to sit next to her and Maanjer. I changed my mind Yorkshire is drawing an explicit picture that is making me uncomfortable because it is of our friend, Maanjer. Maanjer has apparently given Yorkshire permissions to draw this photo. Maanjer is eating a sandwich filled with cheese and meat, which makes me more uncomfortable than the drawing. The librarian is racing towards us ready to discipline us for sitting three to a couch. I exaggerated she is just looking in our direction. It smells like mayonnaise and deli meat. Maanjer left to the bathroom. Yorkshire and I are in an argument. She likes to criticize my vegan diet and tries to find loop holes to trap me in. For now, I must end this study until 6th period as this entry has gotten much too long. Yorkshire brought up a great point in sociology class regarding the price of medicine. We part ways and she moves on to 8th period. I do not see her for the rest of the day.
MY STUDY WILL CONTINUE ON MONDAY, 10/02/17
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halsey-nicolette · 8 years ago
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Rockaby baby || Dakota Rae Biersack
Ashley sat herself in the corner of the couch, her head propped against her hand tiredly as she watched Andy closely. He cradled Seren-Josie in one arm, tickling Dahlia with the other without taking his eyes away from the baby. It had been a few days since she had been discharged, reluctantly leaving the hospital without her newborn child. Daenerys came flying into the room, plonking herself down beside Ash with a cheesy grin. “Can Kota come home now?” She asked happily, soon frowning when Blue shook her head. With a disappointed sigh, the child got up and headed over to her father, climbing up onto the couch to hover over and peer at the Kemp’s baby. 
Ashley followed Andy into the unit, her hands shaking a little as her eyes fell on the row of small beds seemingly filled with wires, the bleeping echoing around the room. A nurse smiled at the couple, ushering them over to the corner where an incubator sat, wires and tubes tumbling inside and out, the chart at the bottom reading “Biersack.” At the sight of the tiny infant inside, Ashley teared up, her hold on her fiance’s hand becoming a little tighter as she swallowed thickly to push away the sob that threatened to rip through her. Days passed as the young parents visited to watch intently as their baby’s chest rose and fell rapidly, old tubes disappearing and new ones appearing, tangling the infant just out of their reach. Ashley rested her head on her arms, tiredly watching as the baby fidgeted a little- the movement filled Ash with relief each time spotted it, assuring the mother that she was still fighting. Andy took to pacing, his steps matching the each noise the machine beside them made.
Tears stung Ashley’s eyes and her throat tightened as she quickly pulled herself up from the couch, unable to watch anymore. She escaped the room and headed for the stairs, hiding herself away in their bedroom. Her hand searched for the photo one of the nurses had given her when she woke up in the hospital crying to see her child, clutching it in her fingers tightly as the tears she’d managed to hold finally spilled over her cheeks. 
“Kangaroo Care. Just stay relaxed, baby will follow your natural patterns.” A nurse explained, placing the tiny baby against Ashley’s bare chest, a small blanket covering her shoulders. Andy stayed close, watching proudly with a broad smile. Soon, her breathing mirrored her mother’s, causing Ashley to smile properly the first time in a while. Ashley was filled with awe as the tiny baby now curled into her father’s chest, his own face a picture of amazement. Once again the heaving of Dakotas chest slowed, matching the rise and fall of Andy’s as he smoothed his fingertip across the baby’s small shoulders to calm her. “Now, Miss Frangipane, Mr Biersack, we’re afraid Dakota is not showing interest in feeding. But dont worry yourself, it’s perfectly natural for an infant so premature to be unable to feed so early on, and given the stress both mother and baby experienced during the birth we have been expecting such a complication. We’re going to prescribe a lactation stimulant, in hopes that it will increase the amount of milk you’re producing. In a few days, hopefully, you will be nursing."
She just couldn’t take it, the sight of her fiance fussing over a baby when they couldn’t hold their own child for more than an hour at a time. Ash sank down onto the ground, her back against the empty crib, sobbing desperately as she messaged Kier to ask when he could next take her to the hospital. A week had passed since the birth of the youngest Biersack yet the crib in their room was still untouched.
“Miss Frangipane, Mr Biersack, we’re delighted to inform you that the skin to skin contact has shown the desired effects, Dakota is steadily breathing on her own without support, her body temperature seems to be regulated and she’s responding a lot more to what is going on around her already..” Ash smiled brightly at the news, looking up to Andy with excitement at the mention of progress, their baby cradled just beneath her shirt. “However, we are afraid to inform you that Dakota still shows no intention of nursing.You see, by now she should be rooting, wanting to nurse, though we’re not seeing those signs.” The nurse gestured to where Dakota lay, Ashley frowning as she smoothed her finger tips over her child’s back. “Where she does latch, Ashley, it appears she’s unable to feed. We have decided it will be a lot more productive and beneficial to all three of you to introduce formula to Dakota’s diet.” 
Ashley sat at the edge of the bed, dropping the box of pills into the trash, watching Andy as he watched her in return. After a long moment of silence between them, Ashley dragged herself out of the bedroom and down the stairs, still sniffling as she searched around the kitchen, managing to find a bottle of Kier’s gin, throwing back a mouthful before sitting herself on the kitchen floor. It wasn’t long before Jenna joined her on the floor, freeing the bottle from her fingers and setting it aside. 
“Please, Jenna. I think I’ve earned a drink.” Ash said flatly, once again reaching for the bottle. Jenna opened her mouth to question but the younger girl quickly held her hand up to silence her, shaking her head. “Don’t, just don’t. You have no fucking idea what is happening.I can’t expect you to understand it but don’t you dare patronise me and tell me that I’m doing something bad. Go back to fussing over Seren.”
The eldest of the two frowned as she listened, slowly shaking her head at what was said. Ashley pushed a hand through her hair, pulling her knees up to her chest with a quiet sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m not..I’m not mad at Seren, I’m so fucking jealous. You get to cuddle and show her off to people and feed her and comfort her while my little girl is lay in a hospital and I can do nothing to help her! Nothing! I’m struggling to even be a mother, but Andy still has his girls to take care of. I’m even making that difficult.” 
The young girl was in tears again, Jenna having pulled her into a tight embrace, waiting for her sobbing to subside before quietly speaking. “Ash, love, I’m not going to pretend that I know what’s going on for you, I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling right now.” She hummed simply, brushing a hand over Ashley’s tangled blue hair, trying to comfort her. “But, I do know that you are definitely her mommy, and Andy is her daddy. So I’m pretty certain that she’s strong, just like you both are. And I’m sorry, I am so fucking sorry Ash I can’t imagine how hard it is to not be able to have her here when the rest of them are.” 
“It terrifies me Jen, I can’t look after her, she doesn’t even feel like my baby anymore. She lives in a machine and she’s barely awake, I’m just the stranger holding her for a few hours before I have to come home without her. I’m failing and I haven’t even had a shot at it yet, I couldn’t even carry her to term for fuck sakes! And now, now I can’t do something as simple and natural as feeding her properly.”  Ashley continued to sob, neither of the girls noticing as Andy appeared in the doorway, watching their embrace quietly with his brow furrowed in concern. 
“Ashley, listen to me. You are not a stranger, you’re her mum. She’s only little but she’ll know that, you’ll always be her mommy.” Jenna assured, cuddling Ashley in her lap. “I can promise you that you’re not on your own, Blue, you have Andy, and Kier, and me. I’m always here, us mums, we gotta have each other’s backs.When Melody-Grace was born I couldn’t take care of her. I ended up in an accident, I couldn’t hold her. I was scared and I was lonely, because that was my little girl and I couldn’t see her or do anything for her.I couldn’t nurse with Gracie, and there’s no chance with the medication I’m on, it could really hurt Seren. Trust me, it may feel like you’re failing but you are not, you’re trying your best and all you have to do is make sure that she is fed, that she’s growing and getting better. I know you’re scared Ash, and that fucking feeling, it never really goes away.” She laughed a little, resting her cheek against Ash’s hair as the younger girl allowed herself to be cradled against Jenna’s chest. 
“You just have to make sure that you and Andy are ready to give her all of the love in the world when Dakota is ready to come home.”
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