#pandemonium <3 ill read you one day

[becomingpotatoes]

the best ships in project sekai are any combination of the current third years

[ssruis]

Hi hi i think youre completely right about characterization so I wanted to ask if you have any pjsk fic recs? Thank you :3

Oh god you know not what you have done

Primary ruikasa/emunene focus as is expected on ssruis dot tumblr dot com so keep that in mind but there’s a few gen fics on here.

The world offers itself - thrillingwhiteday (In progress) (ruikasa)

Super underrated… the characterization is so good… saki + rui interactions (I cheered). Lives in my head rent free.

You and a Skull’s Flower - Revelry_in_serenity (In progress) (no relationship focus but there are bg relationships)

Pandemonium gang experiences The Horrors. Recommend the author’s other works as well - Supporting Roles/Lasting Embraces/Overwritten are some other ones I really enjoyed - but I’m Very Intrigued by the plot in this one.

Warm - pyrotechpuffs (One shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works but this is a fave.

Soul to Wreck - sleepieash (In progress) (ruikasa)

Literally anything by helloitsaiza or calculatrice. The characterization/writing… chefs kiss… their brains are so massive. Best stuff in the tag. Rewired my brain. However this is a list of fic recs and not author recs so I’ll link some of my favorites:

Roles - helloitsaiza (one shot) (ruikasa)

Eternal sunshine - helloitsaiza (One shot) (emunene)

Special shout-out because Peak Emunene I’m actually obsessed with it.

Confess, Confess - helloitsaiza (In progress) (ruikasa)

Yours - helloitsaiza and calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

Backstage after the curtain call - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

To sear the sky - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

A study in performance - calculatrice (One shot) (ruikasa)

Funhouse mirror - calculatrice (in progress) (no relationship focus, wxs & niigo)

Special shout-out because tsukasa + mafuyu body swap is such a galaxy brained idea

Rui’s doki-doki seishun school life - calculatrice (one shot) (ruikasa)

^ read all of these they go so hard 10/10

Because it’s you - sleepy_macchi (one shot) (ruikasa)

Act I of our story - Asteromeda (one shot) (ruikasa)

The show must go on - literallyjustsomeguy (in progress but it’s been like 2 years so it might be abandoned) (ruikasa)

I don’t like recommending stuff that may remain unfinished but I’ll make an exception for very funny tsukasa tenma stupidity moments

X marks the spot - seatrix (in progress) (ruikasa)

Underrated… love the characterization & plot.

Voted most likely to run away with you - eightyeightstars (one shot) (ruikasa)

Sharing is caring - underwaternature (one shot) (ruikasa)

Tête-à-tête - kuiperbelts (one shot) (ruikasa)

Also recommend the authors other works I just really like the tsukasa characterization in this one

All I want (is you) - sorasekai (one shot) (emunene)

Recommend their other works as well for good emunene

Ikanaide - gummysaur (finished) (tsukasa focus, gen wxs)

Also recommend their other works but (chefs kiss) tsukasa characterization

Closeness - lyriablackfrost (one shot) (ruikasa)

Find out who you are, and then do it on purpose - weepingstars (transfem rui focus, gen wxs)

And I will still live here - utayoru (one shot) (ruikasa)

Their other works are good as well but this is a fave for the early pjsk days rui characterization

With me all along - jeiseny (one shot) (saki focus, gen)

SAKI… (ugly crying) beautiful exploration of chronic illness. And it doesn’t focus on her fucking brother (staring with homicidal intent @ wider pjsk fanbase). Made me go ouuggh relatable several times.

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

Here's my opinion if you're interested - I used to love Daenerys when I watched the show, up until season 4. I started reading the books then and I realized she was the villian. She went to cities with no idea how to rule, (mereen) and left those cities in poverty and fear of her and what she might do next, yet she claims to be a good queen. (In the books she tortured a slave girl/in the show she threatens people with violence if they disagree. "Ill burn you alive.") She's just as bad as Cersei

1. She went to cities with no idea how to rule

You make it sound as if she conquered Meereen solely so she could rule. She went to cities to free slaves, and in Meereen she decided to stay and be queen, both to learn how to rule and to prevent the slave masters from enslaving the freed slaves again. 

Dany turned away from them, to gaze out over the city once again. “My children need time to heal and learn. My dragons need time to grow and test their wings. And I need the same. I will not let this city go the way of Astapor. I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I’ve freed all over again.” She turned back to look at their faces. “I will not march.”

What was she supposed to do? You claim she’s wrong for wanting to rule Meereen when “she has no idea how to rule”. At face value, that’s a valid reason, but it’s not when you look at Daenerys’ situation. She has just freed the slaves in a city that’s economy is entirely dependent on slaves. 

If she leaves, the masters rise up again and enslave those freedmen. You might say she could have appointed someone else to rule. But who? The only people in Meereen that potentially have ruling experience are the Great Masters, who all owned slaves. If she appointed any one of them to rule, they would try to bring slavery back. She could appoint someone from her own court to avoid this, but none of them are equipped to handle ruling a city whose economic foundation has just been abolished.

Daenerys was working with limited options here. Staying and ruling was the best, and most responsible choice to make in her situation. That way, she won’t be leaving anyone untrustworthy or unequipped to rule Meereen. You could say that she’s not equipped to handle Meereen, either, but Daenerys plans to rule Westeros one day. It was smart of her to want to gain some ruling experience before she reaches that point. 

Also, Daenerys does have a pretty good idea of how to rule. She tries to rebuild Meereen’s economy, without slavery, and starts by creating irrigation systems, planting crops, and trading. She understands that the city must have a source of income, and an idea on how to establish that source of income. And she does all of these while having never received any formal training in how to rule.

“Not a hole. A ditch, to bring water from the river to the fields. We mean to plant beans. The beanfields must have water.”

Ser Barristan remained. “Our stores are ample for the moment,” he reminded her, “and Your Grace has planted beans and grapes and wheat. Your Dothraki have harried the slavers from the hills and struck the shackles from their slaves. They are planting too, and will be bringing their crops to Meereen to market. And you will have the friendship of Lhazar.”

2. Left those cities in poverty and fear of her and what she might do next

Oh yes, of course. Because Daenerys made the decision that she needed a vacation from all the drama unfolding in Meereen, jumped onto Drogon’s back, and went on an cruise to the Bahamas.

No, Daenerys made a move to protect Drogon and the people in the fighting pit. 

“Kill it,” Hizdahr zo Loraq shouted to the other spearmen. “Kill the beast!”

The spearmen were running too. Some were rushing toward the dragon, spears in hand. Others were rushing away, throwing down their weapons as they fled. The hero was jerking on the sand, the bright blood pouring from the ragged stump on his shoulder. […] As the other spears closed in, the dragon spat fire, bathing two men in black flame. His tail lashed sideways and caught the pitmaster creeping up beside him, breaking him in two. Another attacker stabbed at his eyes until the dragon caught him in his jaws and tore his belly out. 

Drogon’s presence in the dragonpit was causing pandemonium and violence. Some were trying to hurt him, and naturally, Drogon fought back. Do you honestly think this situation would have been diffused had Daenerys not flown away with Drogon? More people would have tried to kill him and Drogon would have retaliated, leading to more casualties. 

Meereen is not in poverty because Daenerys is a bad ruler. Meereen is in poverty because its economic foundation, slavery, has been abolished. When the ruler leaves with the city in such a precarious state, fear and chaos is natural. If you want to fault Daenerys for this “poverty and fear”, then you’d have to fault her abolishing of slavery in Meereen. And I would never fault anyone for abolishing a system that treats human beings as objects, Meereen, where slave soldiers are quite literally cheaper, and therfore seen of as having less value, than their own swords. Any economy that’s based on such an institution is disgusting and should be changed.

3. Yet she claims to be a good queen

When has Daenerys ever claimed to be a good queen? If anything, she starts thinking worse and worse of herself.

That morning she summoned her captains and commanders to the garden, rather than descending to the audience chamber. “Aegon the Conqueror brought fire and blood to Westeros, but afterward he gave them peace, prosperity, and justice. But all I have brought to Slaver’s Bay is death and ruin. I have been more khal than queen, smashing and plundering, then moving on.”

“You have brought freedom as well,” Missandei pointed out.

“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint?

If I look back, I am doomed. Dany told herself… but how could she not look back? I should have seen it coming. Was I so blind, or did I close my eyes willfully, so I would not have to see the price of power?

Bless me, Dany thought bitterly. Your city is gone to ash and bone, your people are dying all around you. I have no shelter for you, no medicine, no hope. Only stale bread and wormy meat, hard cheese, a little milk. Bless me, bless me.

4. In the books she tortured a slave girl

I don’t know what anti-Dany thread you’ve been reading instead of the books that you supposedly read, but I’m here to tell you the truth: It was not a slave girl she tortured. A soldier was murdered in a wineshop, and the suspects were the wineseller and his daughters. Naturally, Daenerys has them interrogated.

At first, she orders them questioned sweetly, but upon hearing that another murder has occurred, she orders them questioned sharply. Daenerys is running an investigation for murder(s), not randomly torturing a girl. There is a thing called context that antis are spectacular at forgetting.

Torture for information, especially during a murder investigation, is not considered an evil act in medieval society. The antis calling her “evil” or “mad” for this are hypocrites, considering no other character seems to be under such intense criticism for torturing for information. Even Jon has people tortured; why is he not suspected of being “a villain” because of it?

5. In the show she threatens people with violence if they disagree. “Ill burn you alive.”

“She threatens people with violence if they disagree”? Don’t you mean “she threatens people with violence if they’re her enemies”? Which is, you know, pretty natural in a medieval setting?

But ok, I’ll bite. Give me an instance that Daenerys threatens people with violence if they disagree with her and I’ll gladly discuss it.

6. She’s just as bad as Cersei

You mean Cersei Lannister? Cersei “I only love my brother because I see him as a reflection of me” Lannister? Cersei “it’s so unfair that I’m treated differently because I’m a woman so every other woman deserves to be mistreated” Lannister? Cersei “Hey Sansa the best way to deal with being married to Joffrey is to sit still and take it” Lannister? Cersei “Joff was strong, Tommen must be more like him but I punish Tommen if he shows any signs of resisting me” Lannister? Cersei “I raped Taena Merryweather” Lannister? Cersei “I had a girl less than a year old killed because she was Robert’s daughter by a prostitute” Lannister?

I have only one thing to say.

Lol.

[littlethingwithfeathers]

HBO’s Chernobyl - A Content Guide

Hey everyone!

So... the docudrama “Chernobyl” on HBO is probably one of the best things to ever grace a television, and everyone should totally go watch it right this now.

However, it is not an easy watch, even if you’re stout of constitution like me. While the show does not over-dramatize or sensationalize the horrors that happened during and after the Chernobyl disaster, it also does not shy away from showing them when appropriate. So I thought I’d put together a watch-guide just to make people aware of the more graphic scenes and topics in the show. I don’t have time-stamps. This is just more painting with a broad brush. And if you’ve got questions, feel free to ask me. 

I do my best to leave plot elements out of my summary, so as to avoid “spoilers” (if you can really have such a thing in something like this), but there are some plot points that could be potential problems for people so... spoiler warning?

Also, the full scripts are available online here if that’s helpful as well. They’re actually worth a read after you’ve seen the show... lots of interesting commentary in the blocking.

The guide is below the cut. Enjoy!

Episode 1 - "1:24:45"

This episode concerns the first eight hours after the reactor explodes. Point of view bounces back and forth between what's happening inside the reactor and what's happening in the nearby town of Pripyat. 

Ep. 1 gets a blanket warning for pandemonium and confusion in the wake of the explosion (which happens almost immediately at the start of the episode), gore/blood/wounds consistent with very acute radiation sickness, including burns, frequent vomiting of blood, and vibrant "radiation tans" which appear similar to severe sunburns. There is very little screaming or crying save in a couple of specific cases I will detail below. Mostly, dying of radiation sickness looks like someone with a serious case of the stomach flu who also has a horrible sunburn. 

There are no jumpscares, but the whole episode has a palpable escalating tension about it almost in the style of a horror movie. "No no no don't go in there! The core is open and you're going to die!" That's the general internal monologue while watching. The viewer knows, but characters do not really understand what's happened for the entirety of the episode. Most of the tension revolves around the plant management insisting that everything is fine and making people go to the reactor site to check on things and them becoming horribly ill. It's not until close to the end of the episode that someone goes and looks in daylight and sees what's happening (and even still the management doesn't believe it until the next episode).

Spot warnings:

The first scene is a suicide. A man hangs himself in the very beginning. We only see his feet dangling. It's very fast. We don't see a struggle.

The explosion is also very early in the episode (about 7 minutes in) and is not a jumpscare or particularly rattling. It's viewed from a far off window and is silent initially until the shockwave arrives. There isn't a huge tension build up. It's something very distant. 

(personal note) This is one of my favorite things about the show… they don't go the traditional narrative route. Show starts and they do two things in the first ten minutes. Kill the main character, and blow up the reactor. All of it without any sort of ceremony or tension-building.

Any scenes in the wrecked reactor, turbine, and water pump halls get a blanket warning for radiation related gore and suffering. There is no screaming or yelling due to injury. It feels very claustrophobic and dread-inducing because of the way it's shot. It's almost as if there is a monster in these halls, but that monster is the rapidly leaking radiation.

Same goes for any scenes involving the firemen outside the reactor. They are standing next to an open reactor core spraying it with aerosolized water. They are going to get very sick, and many of them do on site. Vomiting, lethargy, and obvious radiation tans are the main symptoms shown.

One fireman picks up a hunk of graphite which is highly radioactive. Later, he is screaming on the ground in pain when they try to pull his glove off, revealing a very severe and graphically depicted radiation burn on the entirety of the palm of his hand.

A group of people from the town watch the fire burn from a railroad bridge. As they watch, ash falls from the sky. This is actual, honest to goodness fallout. Nothing happens while they are watching, but the cinematography and the score make sure you know that they are all going to get very sick. 

Three men from the plant are sent to lower the control rods by hand, which has them going into the open reactor core (again, they don't know it's blown apart). Two go in and are instantly radiation tanned. The third, who pried the door open, is also partially radiation tanned, but because he had wedged himself against the radiation-leeching metal of the doorframe, he is severely and acutely burned where he'd braced himself. The burns are under his white clothes, but he begins bleeding profusely before collapsing in the hallway.

We find this man later, clothes soaked in blood. He is nearly incapacitated and obviously dying, but there's no screaming or wailing. He actually asks another plant worker for a cigarette and smokes it quietly.

Two men go down to open water pumps and are made incredibly ill by radiation poisoning. Again, there is no screaming. They just get weaker and weaker.

The control room manager, Dyatlov, vomits in a conference room near the end of the episode.

A man is sent to the roof of the reactor building at gunpoint to survey the damage. When he turns back from the edge of the reactor pit, his face has a severe radiation tan.

***

Episode 2 - "Please Remain Calm"

This episode happens over the next 60 hours or so after the accident and concerns the discovery of just how bad the accident is. Up until this point, no one really understood or accepted that the core had cracked open. This is the slow dawning of the apocalypse. There is less gore in this episode. It's more building tension as everyone comes to understand how awful things are and how much worse they are going to get. Blanket warning for general struggle and pandemonium in the hospital scenes, and milder images of radiation sickness (they're all still very sick and traumatized, but there's less actual blood). 

Spot warnings:

In the burn ward of the hospital, the firemen are all there and very very ill. A doctor recognizes that it's radiation poisoning and begins pulling their clothes off. The clothes are thrown in the basement. As she's leaving, the doctor looks down at her hand, which had been holding a bundle of clothes and she has a mild radiation burn.

There is a tense scene when the fireman's wife arrives at the hospital. She runs into some of the people from the railway bridge who are very sick. One man begs her to take his baby and run away from Pripyat. There is a lot of pitched yelling and begging.

There is an argument between Legasov and Shcherbina in the helicopter about whether or not they're going to fly over the core. It gets quite tense with vivid threats on both sides.

The plan with the helicopters to drop sand and boron on the reactor goes about as well as one might imagine at least until they get the distance worked out.

When the decision is made to evacuate the city, people are forced to leave their pets behind. 

Towards the end of the episode, it is discovered that there are pools of water under the reactor that need to be drained. This must be done by hand and it is made clear that whoever it is will likely die of radiation poisoning. Three men volunteer to go down under the burning reactor in diver suits, and wade through chest deep irradiated water to open the valves and drain the tanks. Again, this goes about as well as one would expect. It's probably the most tense moment in the whole episode. They get lost when their flashlights fail. The dosimeters are going bananas, and to top it all off… it ends on a cliffhanger with them lost in the dark. So… you might want to keep going. Not that the next episode is much better.

***

Episode 3 - "Open Wide O Earth"

This episode sprawls out over the next couple of weeks post-explosion. It largely concerns itself with the immediate cost of human lives. It gets a huge blanket warning for radiation-related gore, most often in the Moscow Hospital. Radiation poisoning this acute is a horrible and incredibly visceral way to die, and while it's not sensationalized or overwrought… they don't shy away from showing how it truly is. Legasov actually lists the symptoms and progression early on in the episode before we watch it happen. Which goes in this order.

-Initial symptoms were seen last episode: "nuclear tan" surface burns on the skin, vomiting, lethargy, loss of consciousness. This continues for a day or two. 

-Patients seem to rally as they enter a latency period and the immediate effects seem to subside. Recovery seems possible. The firefighters are shown playing cards at one point. Burns are visible on their skin but it looks like a really bad but healing sunburn. This lasts a day or two in these cases.

-Then the true breakdown begins as the cellular damage starts to catch up to the lack of new cell growth. Basically, you decompose from the inside out, starting with bone marrow, then organs, then the vascular system. This is incredibly painful as pain drugs cannot be administered due to failing tissue integrity. Visible symptoms are open, seeping sores, necrosis, eye discoloration, etc. 

They show this on a few patients unflinchingly. Close ups. Full body shots. It's gross and difficult to look at. They are basically melting. Honestly… I stopped wondering why zombies are a thing after I watched this. :(

Spot warnings:

Episode opens back on the divers again, lost in the dark with the dosimeters going ballistic. It's pitched and panicked, but they formulate a plan to handle the situation and succeed in their mission.

Important scream warning: There is a scene that begins with water dripping in the sink. This is followed by a man screaming. The nurses are trying to get the fireman's clothes off and he is shrieking in pain. It's a quick scene but hard to watch. If you're bothered by agonized screaming, cover your ears from the time you see the water dripping until Gorbachev's face appears if you want to avoid. This is probably the worst instance of pain-screams.

After the scene with the miners and the minister, there's another long scene at the hospital. No screaming, but it's the fireman. His condition is clearly deteriorating. Long shots of skin lesions and bandages.

After the "no fans" conversation with the miners we return to the hospital. This time the patient is one of the men from the control room. The one that went down to work on the pumps. He is in severe condition. Eyes are discolored. Skin is swollen and red and shiny. He can barely speak. Again, this is a long scene with lingering shots on his face and body. After he gives his age to the person interviewing him, he gets a nosebleed, which the person cleans up.

After that scene, they transfer the worsening fireman to a critical care ward. His skin is in awful condition. Worse than the patient from the control room. This also has lots of long shots of his symptoms. His face is turning black and necrotic. His skin is pocked with necrosis and looks like it could slide off his bones. For me this was one of the most difficult things to watch, and I actually had to look away. And I pride myself on having a pretty strong stomach.

There's a short scene with Legasov and Shcherbina in their trailer-office, and then… NAKED PEOPLE!!! Naked miners to be precise. Lots of them. Full frontal and everything. It's actually a pretty funny scene… blessedly.

After the scene with the naked miners we go back to the control room operator in the hospital. Then to the other operator's room. We never see the other operator. Just the interviewer's face. Then we go back to the fireman's room briefly.

The episode ends with a funeral, shot to great but incredibly sensitive effect. The firemen are buried in metal coffins, welded shut and covered in concrete.

***

Episode 4 - "The Happiness of All Mankind"

This episode chronicles the efforts of the "Liquidators" who were sent to the surrounds of the plant to raze the forests, turn the turf, and kill all the animals. 

So… blanket statement for lots and LOTS of animal death. We're talking critters wild and domestic alike killed by the truckload and buried in concrete to prevent the spread of radiation. Most of it is offscreen, but the spot warnings will have specific warnings of particularly sad/graphic instances. There are also some scenes of mild radiation sickness symptoms, but they are barely blips on the radar if you've watched his far. Just some vomiting and people looking generally unwell.

There's also a warning for pregnancy and child death, though labor, delivery, and death all happen off screen.

Spot warnings:

First scene is of an old woman milking a cow. There is a soldier trying to evacuate this old woman. She refuses. Then he shoots his gun, and for a moment you're unsure where the bullet landed. Then her cow falls over dead.

The episode is mostly conversations until you see the soldiers and Pavel roll into a neighborhood in a green truck and start pulling out guns. Bacho will give Pavel some instructions (don't let the animals suffer and so forth) and then he whistles for the animals. They come running and they start shooting them. We don't really see anything, but we hear it. Gunfire and some yelping/whimpering. Mostly we're just watching Pavel's reactions. 

When Pavel gets sent to go door to door, he comes across a cream and gray colored dog. This is the worst scene regarding animal cruelty. You will definitely want to look away when Pavel says "Go… go go go away." He shoots the dog, wounds it but doesn't kill it. We see the dog lying in a pool of blood. Pavel is overcome with guilt and approaches. Bacho appears and shoots it to put it out of its misery. It's over when you hear Bacho say "You're dragging that to the truck."

There are brief glimpses of the animal corpses on the truck when the soldiers are having lunch but they're in the distance and out of focus.

If shouting and smashing things in anger is an issue, be warned that when the German robot gets fried on the roof, Shcherbina flips his shit. He calls Moscow and screams at them, ultimately smashing the phone to pieces.

After the discussion of what to do about the roofs after the German robot fails, we go back to Pavel working. He and the soldiers are shooting animals. Again, you don't see the animals. Just hear the shots and the whimpering. But it's short lived. No wails of suffering or anything.

After Bacho tells Pavel to go door-to-door, he goes up to a house and finds a mom-dog with puppies inside. Bacho follows him and when he sees what he found, sends Pavel outside and kills them himself. Again, you just hear the shots and see Pavel's face.

After this, the three soldiers bury the animals. There's a brief image of them being dumped from the truck, and another of them being covered in concrete. 

One of the most pitched and harrowing scenes comes after the General gives a speech about how to clear the graphite off the roof to a new set of recruits. They are in crude lead shielding and rubber suits, they run out onto the roof and use shovels to clear graphite. They are stumbling and struggling, dosimeters going ballistic the entire time. It's incredibly tense. When they are called in, one of the men stumbles and gets caught on a piece of graphite. His boot tears. The scene lasts about 90 seconds.

In the scene that immediately follows, we see the fireman's widow. She picks up a girl's mitten to hand it to her, and she goes into labor.

The final scene of the episode is the labor ward in a hospital. We see the fireman's widow alone behind a partition.

***

Episode 5 - "Vichnaya Pamyat"

This episode is largely concerned with the trial of the plant management which is intercut with flashbacks to the day of the explosion.

There is a good deal of tension as they are showing step by step what went wrong, cutting between the trial testimony and the flashback to the reactor control room. There is a fair amount of arguing and yelling, mostly on Dyatlov's part both at the trial and in the control room. The flashbacks do not go beyond the explosion so there's no scenes of radiation related trauma. 

Spot warnings:

Shcherbina begins having coughing fits during the trial. He later shows Legasov a bloody handkerchief. 

There is a very tense scene with the head of the KGB after the trial is concluded.

Other than that, nothing to speak of.

***

Hope this is helpful! Happy watching, and again, if you have any specific questions, feel free to send me a message or an ask!

[starkandstormborn]

ohemdiving back into the fanfic life after gendrya left us for dead (rip us).

chapters all in the canon-verse trying to make sense of things but also their ending is gendry on that damn boat so don’t even with me (!)

most will be in arya’s pov but might dabble into gendry b’s too depending but she’s so complex and we need to get in that girl’s head to make sense of the nonsensical bs that was the s8 finale eps * sigh * 

ill upload on a03 and fanfiction once my membership’s been approved coz this gal hasn’t been on these sites in an ice ageeee

but here’s a sneak of what’s to come. this is for you, my fellow gendrya lovers <3 

the world is yours and mine chapter I - set after the long night battle, gendry’s proposal, etc.

In her eyes, she has one purpose. Kill the queen on the Iron Throne who watches and hears and knows. Kill the queen who understands the power of the living against the dead. Kill the queen who fears Daenerys Targaryen who marches astride a powerful army who will fight for her, who will kill for her, who will die for her.

Two powerful women, one evil, one good, perhaps. But both dangerous. To the living and the yet to live.

Knock, aim, loose.

She shuts out the pandemonium, the chaos of the celebrations coming from outside the walls where the Dothraki are situated and extending towards the Great Hall where she knew her family is. She took food from the kitchens earlier, sneaking warm, fresh-baked bread and a bowl of hot stew she dipped it in. She ate on the fortifications overlooking the pyres where the smell of the burning bodies still lingered.

She would’ve joined in on the celebrations at the Great Hall but truthfully, she was still very, very tired. They stitched up the scar on her forehead well enough, but a bruise still formed that snaked around her eyes and down the right-side of her face. It hurt to move her face at times and the thought of having to repeat her thanks to every congratulations made her head hurt.

She ate quick enough and stayed long enough in the cold for her insides to burn in that familiar, throbbing way that she had almost forgotten about as she faced literal death and willed herself against it a mere day ago. Not today. Not today.

Now death calls again. The only death she will demand of the red god. And if she perishes with her, then so be it. There’ll be no coming home.

She faces the target and sees her father. Knock. She remembers his kind eyes shining in amusement and pride at her. Aim. She looks at the target and pictures the face that took him from her. Cersei. Loose.

And barely misses Gendry.

“Don’t shoot,” he says with his hands raised as he makes his way towards her. She smiles at him fondly as she picks up another arrow to knock.

“It’s night time, it’s freezing, and everyone’s celebrating,” he says, taking his place beside her. “You should be celebrating with them.”

She aims and lets loose, her eyes fixed on her target.

“I am celebrating.”

“I am too.”

She picks up another arrow and readies herself to knock before he speaks again.

“I’m not Gendry Rivers anymore,” he says, “I’m Gendry Baratheon, Lord of Storm’s End. By order of the queen.”

She looks at him then, genuine surprise written on her face.

“Congratulations,” she says, and means it. He takes her by surprise and kisses her and parting before she could register what just occurred.

“I don’t know how to be a lord of anything, I hardly know how to use a fork!” he says, his hand gripping her arms and his eyes fixed on hers.

“All I know is that you’re beautiful and I love you and none of it would be worth anything if you’re not with me.”

She beams up at him, slightly perturbed at the emotions he’s awakening inside her; this silly boy that she’s been in love with and would have followed to the ends of the earth if he had asked. She looks at him, a little dazed by his confession, as he continued.

“So be with me,” he says, and her heart stops a little at the intent she reads in his eyes. He takes one knee and looks up at her, hopeful. “Be my wife. Be the lady of Storm’s End.”

For a moment, she thinks of her father and how he would’ve loved Gendry Baratheon. She remembers his words to Sansa, her then idiot of a sister who proclaimed her vocal infatuation to Joffrey Lannister. Her father had said that he would arrange for Sansa to wed someone brave, and strong, and gentle. Someone who was kind and worthy of a daughter of the north.

It amuses Arya to think that her father had met Gendry before. It amuses her even more to think of what her father would’ve said if he found out that his Arya had fallen in love with Gendry Baratheon. With all of his bravery, and strength, and gentleness, and kindness. She wonders what her father would’ve said of a union between them now that he’s legitimised as Robert Baratheon’s son. She knows her father wouldn’t have wanted anyone less in character.

She imagines how their union would’ve been celebrated throughout the realm. A true Stark of the North and a legitimised Baratheon of Storm’s End. A rekindled hope for a realm that bled and died for a failed love between Robert Baratheon and Lyanna Stark.

She pictures Gendry with Jon, with Robb, with Bran and even with Rickon. She imagines that he’d get along well with her father and mother. She imagines her mother being quite amused by his naivety, but he’ll win her over through honour and respect. 

He’d learn to be more than just a smith. She could teach him to read, to write, to fight with a sword and have Maester Luwin teach him history and languages and the legends of First Men and the Targaryens since Aegon the Conqueror – her favourite stories.

She imagines sharing a life together, going off on adventures and travelling across the realm, visiting every part of the Seven Kingdoms and perhaps even beyond that. To Essos and all the lands beyond Braavos, to the Bay of Dragons and further towards Asshai and the Shadow Lands. They could even go and see what’s west of Westeros, if they wanted. Just the two of them, exploring, travelling, just living.

But that was for a different life. A life that’s passed now that her father, mother, Robb and Rickon aren’t here anymore. When Bran isn’t the three-eyed raven and her sister isn’t the Lady of Winterfell and Jon isn’t serving a Targaryen queen bent to rule over the Seven Kingdoms.

Perhaps, she thinks quite sadly, it’s a life for a different Arya too. The Arya that she knew before. The Arya that he knew before too. The Arya who was meant to live. This Arya, the Arya that she is now isn’t meant to think this way let alone to actually live it. She can’t second guess now. She can’t allow her feelings of sentiment overturn her purpose. She has to kill the queen or she will die trying.

And Gendry…

He’s still on one knee looking up at her with his hopeful eyes, waiting eagerly for her answer. An answer that she wishes she could grant him. An answer that a deep part of her is begging her to tell him.

But she knows that she can’t. She’s not a lady. She’s never been and never will be. She will die come the next war in Kings Landing and she will not bring him along with her. The red god will not have him. He deserves a family, even if it won’t be her.

She puts her bow away before leaning down and meeting him where he is on one knee. She takes his face in her hands and lets him know exactly how much he means to her as she takes his lips with her own. He holds on to her arms as she moves to stand up, their lips never parting. She holds his face, gently, lovingly, and he takes her lips this time and she savours it, savours him. She opens his eyes a second after he does, and she steels herself to let him go.

“You’ll be a wonderful lord,” she says, “and any lady will be lucky to have you.”

She doesn’t let herself feel the moment she sees his hopeful expression crumple into a mix of pain and confusion. She goes on. She needs to go on.

“But I’m not a lady,” she says, the final weapon in her arsenal. She needs him to understand that and she needs him to be angry at her. The only way for him to let her go is if she breaks his heart. At least then, he will not be anchored to her and It’ll hurt less when she leaves. Really leaves.

“I never have been,” she continues, looking up at him. “That’s not me.”

She immediately turns away to grab her bow, trying for that semblance of indifference. She wills him to understand as she picks up an arrow and knocks. She wills him to move on, to walk away, as she aims. She can feel him behind her, she can feel his pain, his confusion, his shock, and she wills him to forgive her…and to let her go.

Loose.

[renmorris]

a little twin peaks experience retrospective

I don't wanna be like 'y'all really missed out if you didn't watch the OG series before the TPTR announcement' but man it was such a central part of my Fandom Experience and also Becoming An Adult because I was 16 or so when I watched for the first time. 

The absolute devastation of the S2 finale? KNOWING that the show was old and would almost definitely never get a continuation because the idea of a 25 yr later season 3 was so unthinkable before the age of reboots. Realizing while watching the final scene that it WAS the final scene? Agonizing.

I vividly remember just despondently walking from room to room in a haze after the finale. Not angry just...devastated.

And then FWWM! The knowing For Sure that this was the last time I'd see these characters. Raging when I heard about how more movies had been planned but were of course cancelled! I bought a copy of Video Watchdog older than I was to read about FWWM's deleted scenes.

Reading all the twin peaks books before MLMT started getting really pricey! Combing through for hints of how the show would have continued! Discovering ancient fanfic and old message boards.

I remember my pal Hannah and I would fantasize about S3, and starting every sentence with 'it'll never happen BUT IF IT DID...'

There wasn’t really any fandom presence on tumblr for it either. So I'd go through the tag and just start talking to people about it. Idk how many followers I have that are still active from The Old Days? But if we met that way wow you've been here awhile.

Formulating my own ideas about the mechanics of the mythos and talking about it with y'all was so much fun. (And it was even crazier when TSHOTP reaffirmed a lot of our hcs.)

And finally the FWWM missing pieces!

AND THEN...THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

The pandemonium. The exaltation. Everything changed. If you want to see the hype go to my something peaksy this way comes/chrono to experience it, I posted in it until the S3 premiere.

The announcement that Lynch might be leaving? Horrifying. The cast/fandom campaign to get Showtime to cooperate with his demands? Wonderful.

The announcement for and subsequent release of TSHOTP where we had about a year or so of just losing our goddamn mind about the implications in the damn thing? It was the wild west. It was also the moment we all realized that Gordon Cole was not a Fun Dad. The days of Dark Gordon theories.

The occasional set leaks from sneaky photographers? Hearing those glimpses of the plot and quietly theorizing on Skype what was going on? Wild. We all thought Vegas would be Doppelcooper's plot.

(this was one of the early leaked photos...I’m so thankful for that red beam hiding the Hair so we could all be repulsed and horrified by it together during the premiere)

It took showtime FOREVER to come out with trailers and the advertising for the show in general was meager.

One of the first things they dropped before any new footage was just Angelo in the woods it was great. (Showtime has since removed it because they hate fun I guess) 

The next one was just David Lynch eating a donut.

We were all kind of bummed out when we heard the show was going to be released one-a-week but Mark Frost ensured us it was for our health. Which seemed like a joke. 

If you weren’t here when it premiered, it was crazy. Showtime dropped two episodes and then the next two were available if you had a subscription. Which I did, at the time so I watched four episodes back to back and it made me very ill and I couldn’t sleep for a solid 48 hours afterwards. Other folks got sick too. Mfrost was not joking.

At some point during that year I contracted RMSF which didn’t flare up until the next year so I’m very glad I got to experience watching the show with yall as it aired. 

And I’m curious about what Twin Peaks has been like as an experience for you newer watchers.What was it like? What sticks out in your mind?  

[septic-dr-schneep]

Okay, because I need fluff after reading about what happened between them: Imagine Host getting sick and being pretty out of it for a couple days. And also being much, /much/ clingier and more tactile with Dark.

“The Host keeps his Sight trained on Wilford, tracking his movements andlistening…listening intently as he…mmm…”

Dark, sitting regally at the head of the familiar conference table,glanced surreptitiously at the Host. He was sitting at Dark’s right hand, justas usual, but he had just mumbled to a stop in the middle of his narration.

That was unusual, Dark mused distractedly, though he didn’t think aboutit for more than a moment. Wilford was growing increasingly animated as hispitch for the brand new Markiplier TV became more detailed and Dark had anagging feeling that he would need to pay attention to the details if he didn’twant to get forced into a role he didn’t want.

The Host’s quiet, shaky exhale recaptured Dark’s attention. He glancedover a second time to see the narrator sinking lower in his chair, huddlingfurther into his coat. He was shivering, Dark noted in surprise. Deciding toprobe, he shifted questioningly toward him—it wasn’t far, simply a few inches,but surely the Host would notice and recapture his sense of dignity.

Contrary to everything Dark knew about him, the younger Ego didn’t acknowledgehis movement whatsoever, staring blankly into the distance without saying aword. His chapped lips moved ever so slightly, but no sound left them except shallow,near-imperceptible wheezes.

For a second test, Dark pressed a hand down on the table with a softthump. The Host’s ears were his most attuned sense, weren’t they? Under anyother circumstance, he would have Foreseen Dark’s movement or detected thenoise; he would have turned his head. There wasn’t any such fortune, not evenwhen Dark began lightly tapping his fingers against the tabletop.

After counting another fifteen seconds of going unnoticed, he opted forless subtlety and half-rose from his chair, causing Wilford to pausemid-sentence.

“Got somewhere to be, Darkie?” he questioned good-naturedly, to whichDark didn’t respond as he pressed the back of his hand against the Host’sforehead. The Host promptly flinched back, startled at the unexpected contact,but not a second later he leaned into it, bowing his head against Dark’sknuckles as if he were swearing fealty.

Dark already had his fealty, but now on top of that he could feel thescalding warmth under his skin. If he had been unsure before, he was certainnow.

“Host, you’re running a fever,” he informed him, matter-of-fact andreproachful. When the Host offered nothing but a more pronounced shiver inresponse, he straightened and smoothed down his suit before pushing in hischair. “Do go on, Wilford; there’s no need to wait. I’ll escort the Host to hisroom and return soon.”

“I’ll miss you!” Wilford quipped with a wink, to which Dark huffed as hetook ahold of the Host’s arms and guided him out of the conference room.

“The Host is…” The rest of the Host’s muttered sentence trailed off andhe shook his head a little, his feet tangling together as he shuffleduncertainly. He seemed rather disoriented by the change in scenery, which inand of itself was fairly unnerving. He was so naturally poised that to see himlike this was akin to the shock of seeing Wilford in pastels. That had onlyever happened once.

“Lean on me,” Dark offered, moving one of the hands on the Host’s arm tothe small of his back so he could steer him more accurately. “We’re going toyour room; I imagine you’ll be more comfortable there than you would in theconference room.”

“Mmm…”

“The doctor is on his biweekly grocery run today,” Dark explained, as ifthe Host had asked during the course of the admittedly one-sided conversation. “Heshould return this evening. I’ll let him know that you need medicines while hehas the opportunity to purchase them.”

The Host’s room was unusually cool when they entered, though it may havebeen the heat radiating in waves from his companion that gave him thatimpression. Dark’s hands were sticky with sweat from supporting him, he noticedwith distaste, his aura flickering in exasperation.

“We’re here, Host. I’m no servant, but I think I’m capable of taking yourcoat if you’d stop trying to slide onto the floor. There we go. No, try thebed; I’m certain it’s more comfortable than the cement. Do you want theblankets? Your coat should probably be washed, by the way; you’ve drenched itwith sweat because you’ve overworked yourself, you fool. I’m going to give youthe blankets.”

As soon as the sheets were properly situated around the Host’s shoulders,Dark exhaled in grim satisfaction, glancing up to peer closely at him. Now thathe recognized that he was ill, he was noticing just how pasty he was, how gaunthis cheekbones were underneath the thin streams of blood and sweat swimmingover them. Instinctively he reached out, wiping swiftly at the particular trailtrying to sneak down his throat.

“Your pulse is erratic,” he muttered, more to himself than to the Host,but the younger Ego reacted anyway, a low whine vibrating through him as hetilted his head in Dark’s direction, brushing his cheek against the nearestedge of his sleeve. Startled, Dark quickly withdrew his hand, clasping it withthe other behind his back, and the Host let out a soft mewl of distress,turning his head to look up at him.

“Dark…Darkiplier…” he slurred, his tone primarily one of confusion and—hurt?

“I’m expected back at the meeting,” Dark reminded him coolly. Had theHost even been aware enough to understand that conversation? “I’ll be back tocheck on you in a few hours.”

Brows knitting in consternation, the younger Ego shook his head ever soslowly, a hand sliding out from under the blankets to brush through the wispyouter edge of his aura. “The Host…doesn’t…”

“Hush. No matter how you protest, you’re never going to convince me that you’rewell enough for it. You need the rest,” Dark announced, turning on his heel andallowing his aura to peel itself free of the Host’s fingers of its own accord.The Host didn’t register its absence until he heard the door close and he murmuredin dismay, straining to straighten his arm and stretch it further toward thedoor. It wobbled and shuddered and finally lost the last vestiges of strength,falling over the side of the bed without his permission. Want. Defeat. Loss.

A shudder breath that was dangerously bordering a sob left his chest,stirring a few stray coughs that all too quickly took shape like a series ofsmall explosions. In the midst of the storm, his hoarse, helpless words cameout in stops and starts:

“The Host doesn’t—want him to—go…”

Dark had fully intended to check on the Host within at least two hours,but with the pandemonium Wilford’s latest idea had caused among the others andDark being forced to corral them back into some semblance of decency, those twohours had become six. As he made his way down the hall, a small twinge of guiltpoked at him for the fact that he hadn’t noticed earlier, but he didn’t let itlinger. Action spoke louder than emotion.

He didn’t bother to knock before he turned the handle; he fully expectedthe Host to be sleeping by now. The empty, tousled bedsheets he found insteadbrought a deep flush of hot scarlet to his aura.

“Host!” he barked, his tone only afraction angrier than he had intended as he slammed the door shut behind himand crossed the room in three long strides. The Host was slumped in his office chairover his work desk, clutching at the sheets of paper scattered across the woodsurface as their owner made a defective attempt at writing. His strokes withthe pen were too weak and unsteady, ink pooling, dotting and smearing until thefrightening gibberish scratched across it were completely unintelligible. Tooovercome to care about whatever the paper said, Dark gripped the back of hischair and hauled it away from the desk, only leaning over for a moment to catchthe pen from midair after it clattered and rolled off the desk.

“What exactly possessed you to try writing in this condition?” hesnapped, holding the pen up to the Host’s nose accusingly.

The Host didn’t have an answer for him, his head listing back against thechair as he struggled for breath.

“This is unacceptable,” Darkwent on in his silence, tossing the pen back at the desktop and hissing throughhis teeth, cracking his neck in one swift, frustrated twist. “Now correct me ifI’m wrong, but when I left, I believe I told you to rest. How long has it been since you left your bed? Hm?! Answer me!”

Shoulders slumping low, the Host finally managed to take control of hischattering teeth and form words—still slurred but coherent enough for Dark tounderstand. “The Host Saw his creator…he Saw Mark in exile…cut off from theworld,” he mumbled, not quite meeting Dark’s eyes. “He Saw…he only thought heshould finish…”

“In exile?” Dark echoed, the red in his aura dissipating somewhat in hisconfusion. As he processed the words, a slight tinge of blue crept in on theborders of the smoke; concern stirred. “Host, his so-called ‘exile’ was self-imposed—andit was nearly a month ago.”

During Dark’s pause, the Host had already started to droop lower, thoughhe did react to those words with a vacant, inattentive “Hmm?”

He was considerably more flushed than earlier, Dark noted, swallowinghard. Keeping his words clipped so none of his growing worry would slipthrough, he ordered shortly, “Get back in bed,” giving a brief tug to the Host’sarm to indicate he should stand. That the Host responded to, fumbling to latchonto the arm that hand belonged to. For the sake of getting him back on hisfeet, Dark didn’t pull away, letting him use the leverage to stand. As soon ashe did, all the color drained from the Host’s face, his strained, wearyexpression falling blank. He wavered.

“Host—?” Dark began warily as the younger Ego tried uselessly to grasp athis shoulder for purchase. When that failed, his legs failed with it. Dark lashedout and grabbed him before he collapsed entirely, cursing as he gathered up hislimp frame. The feverish heat of his skin was enough to burn Dark’s hands likea branding iron and he swore all the more fiercely because of it. Fortunatelythe bed was only a few feet away, but the Host had fainted completely; he wasdead weight in his arms.

As soon as he was flat on his back again, Dark hurriedly cupped a handaround the Host’s jaw and the other over his scalding forehead, one last curse fallingmore softly. “Host…wake up. I won’t have the doctor accusing me of anyincompetence with you; it’s becoming redundant. Wake up…”

After another few minutes of persistent coaxing, the Host stirred andsomething in Dark’s chest unraveled in relief as he flinched and coughed. “Hh—?”

“You passed out. This is preciselywhy I told you to stay in bed,” Dark explained tersely, unable to resistrebuking him again. Breathing heavily, the Host fidgeted under his hands, snatchingclumsily at him.

“The Host is—he’s sorry,” he wheezed, his voice hitching with adesperation that was alarmingly out of character as his shivering spiked. “Hecouldn’t rest while he was alone—he didn’t want to be alone—As soon as Dark left him, t-the visions—He’ll stay, he’llobey and rest, so long as he isn’t abandoned!”

“Abandoned?” Dark echoed, his incredulity keeping him in place as theHost’s hands crawled over his sleeves and lapels, tracing the folds as if tomake sure he was really there. “I would never abandon you. Why would you believe—?”

“He can’t See…!”

“What?”

“The Host can’t—he can’t See now—All he has is his Hindsight! HisF-Foresight is—He wouldn’t know if he were left alone—He could be abandoned andhe would never know until it was too late!”

The Host’s fingers happened to catch on his tie and his bangs then,tugging with surprising force, and Dark grimaced, deftly prying his hands away.“Alright, enough, Host—please, try tocalm yourself—” The Host shook his head, quickening breaths catching coarselyin his throat, and Dark grit his teeth, squeezing his hands more firmly as herepeated emphatically, “Calm yourself. No one is abandoning you. I am not abandoning you.”

At that the other Ego stilled, staring straight through him with anexpression of distant surprise. The pause lasted for so long that Dark couldsee the beginning blots of fresh blood crawling through the fabric his bandagesand then the Host ever so slowly slid one hand out of Dark’s. The other hekept. Marginally freer than he was, Dark shifted so he was perched more fullyon the edge of bed. He still leaned at a rather awkward angle as the Host keptone of his hands hostage, but with his other he was able to work at the knot inhis tie until he could breathe a little easier.

“Thank you,” he muttered, to which the Host only tightened his grip, asif he were trying to bind their hands together against his chest. Only then didhe start to relax, his breaths evening out with a frightening speed.

“Dark…stays…” he murmured drowsily, his next words drifting away unintelligibly.

Eyebrows rising at the audacity, Dark huffed, combing through his bangsto rid them of the tangles the Host had created and hesitating for a beat ortwo before doing the same with the tousled blonde streak in the other’s hair. “Istay, do I?” he hummed softly, quite well aware that he was going unheard. “Youmake it sound as if I have no choice in the matter.”

If he was honest with himself, he wouldn’t have chosen otherwise anyway.

[some-rfa-imagines]

hii!!!! can i please request an angsty hc with rfa and their reaction to where the bomb in rika's apartment actually goes off cuz some burglar tries to break in and they only found out about it thru ur goodbye messages in the chatroom before u die?? thx thx and hope youre having a night day or night!! :D

yikes apparently you want to see me cry, okay i see how it is lolol

lets do this;;;;

p.s this is v long (rest under the cut) and anything [in square brackets] is a text.

NOTE: OMG IM SO SORRY YOU ASKED FOR HDC BUT I MADE A SCENARIO INSTEAD IM AWFUL PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU’D LIKE THIS CHANGED INTO HDCS I FEEL TERRIBLE. 

tw: bomb, guns, death.

 PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It was cold. The clock had just hit 2:30 am. The faint sounds of the city filled the silence of the apartment. You sat at your desk, polishing up some minor details for the party. Only a few more days until you got to meet everyone and you were incredibly excited. While you were still concerned about the bomb and the hacker, you trusted Seven and V to deal with it - and if they couldn’t do it, Jumin was incredibly reliable. So you put your worries to rest and all of your efforts went into the RFA party.

Besides, if anything did go wrong (which you doubted would happen) you had a will and letters to go to all of your loved ones, both of which were safely kept in your own home. But everything would be fine anyway, so they really weren’t necessary.

You quickly emailed the rest of the details to Jaehee, answered some guests and bid goodnight to Yoosung who was complaining about LOLOL server maintenance. Shutting your laptop, you stood up to brush your teeth and prepare for bed. Eventually, you turned off the lights and crawled under the warm covers, listening to the bustling city with excitement as you drifted off.

Something isn’t right. 

The red LEDs of your alarm clock read 4:41 am as you startled awake. It’s too cold. Slipping out of your bed, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and unlocked it, opening the RFA chat. No one’s online.

[Guys, something’s off.]

You had just hit send when a voice rang out.

“A stranger has been located.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. Scared for your life, you frantically texted the chat, your thoughts as chaotic as your messages.

[SVENE]

[HLEP]

[ETHERES SOMETHING HRRIBLY WRONOG]

[SOEMONES HERW]

“Sensed location of stranger… adjusting target…”

[THE SYSDYEMS BEEN AC TIVATESD]

You desperately tried to phone Seven- anyone. No one was picking up. Your chest heaved. I can’t breathe. Panic spread like wildfire and you sprinted out of your room to try and escape the apartment-

Your heart stopped beating and your feet froze in fear. A shining, silver barrel was pointed straight at your heart.

It’s freezing.

“Don’t. Move. A muscle.” Whoever was behind responsible for breaking into your apartment, well, he clearly had a death wish. “What is that?!” 

“Backing up all information… After the back up is complete, the bomb will be activated. 20 seconds backup remaining.”

“What is going on?!” He screamed, lowering his gun for just a second. He had a weak point, in your range. You had to make a decision; would you let him steal not only the information but your life or would you save something?

…I can’t let him get his hands on that information.

“15 seconds backup remaining…”

You took your chance. Adrenaline rushed through you as you hit the gun out of his hand. “Wh- HEY!” You punched his side with all your strength. Then, bringing your knee up, you kicked him in the groin as hard as you could, sending him crumpling to the floor. “You bitch!”

No one will come.

“10 seconds backup remaining…”

You lunged for the abandoned gun, your fingers, slick with sweat, failing to pick it up. “Oh no, you don’t!” The intruder seized your ankle, pulling you down to the floor. You yelped in shock.

“Let me go!” I’m scared.

“5 seconds backup remaining…”

Your tears overflowed as he began to stand. With the remainder of your energy, you kicked him off you, finally picking up the gun. Pushing yourself off the floor, you rushed into your room, slamming the door behind you.

I can’t think straight.

“Backup complete. Relocating target.”

You fumbled with your phone, texting whoever you could. Your family, your friends, and of course, the RFA. Three simple words; usually said to fiances, parents or children. Never in your life would you have believed they’d be said in this circumstance - especially not by you.

“Bomb will detonate in T minus 5…”

Outside your room, you heard the robber curse. Your heartbeat crushed your chest and your tears streamed down your face.

The information is safe. Ĭ̶̗ ̴̢͌͂ä̶͖́m̷̠͒ ̶̜͠g̴̛̜̯̐̓ồ̷̱̽i̶̯̤̮͐n̵̬̝̑g̸̦̺̈̂͂ ̷̘͈̻̒̅̉t̴̛͔̖̣͆̆ọ̵͝ ̸̘̆̿d̴̺͗͜i̶̖͐e̶̬͇̦͑.

“4…”

Your lungs were on fire.

I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you. E̵͈̒̃̾v̸͎̗̠̍̓̉e̵̡͖͗r̵͍̗̼͝͝y̷̜͓͍͗͌̒t̵̙̪͕͝h̸̥͆͜͝i̵͕̱͚͊̃͂n̸̜͈̥̏g̸̮͐̐̿'̸̛̰̖͎͌̽s̶̪̦̉̋ ̶̯̋̔ẉ̷̦͌r̷̦̜̉o̴̼̔̚n̸̝̒͌ǵ̴̖͇͌.

“3…”

Your head was light.

Please don’t blame yourselves.I̵͉̹̎̀ ̷͓̈́a̸̢͎͒m̴̭̋̏ ̷̤͕̾̓̅s̷͚͔͚̔ǫ̷̖͖̎͆̇ ̷̼̂â̷̘̜̝̎l̸̦̦͚̉o̸͔̒̅n̸͇̑̔̃e̴͚̒͋.

“2…”

You braced for impact.

I love you all. I̵̥͙̺̓̉t̶͓̣͒͠'̷̥͐̃͒s̷͙̺̉̂ ̵̩͔̀̌͋s̷̨̲̙̃o̵̧̗̗͛ ̵͒͜c̵͓̥̍ỏ̵͙͓̪͂̉l̸͎̖̱̾͝d̵̡͇̉.

“1…”

Thank you for everything. H̵͍̙͉͐e̴͉͖̔̔͂l̵̬̥̰͐̚p̴͔̣̓̎͆ ̶̨̍̐̈́m̶̙̤͕͊̍̋e̷̡̪̺͐̂.̸̱̟̈́̓

“Detonating.”

You screamed.

They didn’t learn about it until the morning. The whole country knew. Soon, the whole world.

The apartment building had exploded in a fiery haze, collapsing one half of the building into the inferno. It was attended by every fire station in the city. There were four dead, twelve injured and two in critical condition, at that moment. The source of the blast was floor fourteen. Your apartment. That’s what they knew. That’s what was reported by every news broadcaster in the city.

You were dead.

That’s what they knew.

Seven found out first. The alarms rang out during the countdowns. His fingers flew across the keys at a speed he didn’t know he could reach. It was too late. The continuous clicking came to an abrupt halt. He wasn’t fast enough. His heart pounded in his ears and he felt faint. His mouth was dry. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. Pain welled up in his throat and tears drenched his skin. Seven couldn’t do anything. He had made that bomb. He wasn’t skilled enough to turn it off. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save- he couldn’t- he- save- you…

V was there. Seven had called him as the first countdown began. V, in the area at the time, rushed there only to arrive and watch everything collapse. He watched the fire erupt from the rubble, felt the heat on his entire body. He suffered the shockwave in his chest. The blaze of failure rivalled that of the flames before him. His heart clenched. He had failed yet another person he held dear. V froze in front of the mayhem.

The police asked him many questions; Where was he before the explosion? Did he know how it happened? Did he know anyone in the building? Did he live there? Did he have anywhere to go, anyone to call? V let them check his emergency contacts. Jumin was called.

Jumin arrived on the scene not even twenty minutes later to pick up V. He stepped out of the car, emotionless. The police filled him in. There was no body to be found, however, earwitnesses had overheard a scuffle and shouting moments prior, indicating there was someone else in the apartment. That’s what they knew. Jumin couldn’t feel anything. He comforted V regardless of the growing ache in his chest. He stepped to the side to call Jaehee. He could only manage the address and the words: “It’s MC, come immediately.” In too much shock, Jumin only found himself hugging V tighter.

She pulled up very soon after. “Mr Han…” She didn’t even have to ask. The flames had subsided and were replaced by a heavy sorrow hung which in the air. The sun peaked over the buildings, covered substantially by smoke. Above that, the pink sky glittered with the last remaining stars. Jaehee glanced up. She didn’t know what came over her but she found herself scowling at the sky. You’d loved it. You’d loved the feeling of freedom it gave. You’d loved the colours, how they spread across the sky as though it was a canvas and the sun was the artist. Now it glimmered with a hope that she didn’t know if she would ever get to experience again. Jaehee shook her head and looked back down. She had to make you proud. She had so much work to do.

Zen overheard it only after he’d left his house. It was in shop TVs, the people in the park were whispering about it, even his fellow actors. People he passed gave him pitiful looks and he hated it. Zen couldn’t bear to log into the messenger. He didn’t want to know that he could’ve helped you; that he could’ve made sure you weren’t alone. He didn’t want to think about it. It was too quiet during his rehearsals. His director sent him home early. As he rode home, the wind tore at his jacket and tugged on his hair. It was too cold. Yoosung called him soon after he made it home, in hysterics. Zen agreed to meet up.

They met at Yoosung’s place. Zen knew Yoosung wouldn’t be able to go anywhere else. He was distraught. His tears stained through his shirt. His friends were telling the school that he wouldn’t be in. Yoosung felt so, so, so very alone. You two were close for the fleeting moments you knew each other. First Rika, now you? His heart couldn’t take it. His mind was racing. Was it him? Was he a bad-luck charm? Was it his fault? Why did you have to leave him? Why now? Why? Why?! His thoughts cluttered, his emotions in pandemonium. He could do nothing but cry and hold onto Zen. Yoosung didn’t want to be alone. You made him feel less lonely. 

You made them all feel cherished. Feel wanted, feel heard, feel loved. But you were gone.

That’s what they knew.

Whoo boy did i make myself sad or what

I promise I’ll write more. And I’m not just saying that this time. I promise.

anyway, hope this is what you want! Just tell me if you’re unsatisfied and ill rewrite!

bye bye! *poof*

[donveinot]

To Be or Not to Be Accountable

Photo by Sandra Dempsey on Unsplash Often newly formed cults and/or high demand authoritarian groups which may be operating within the church claim they are trying to “get back to the New Testament church.” These groups have some vague idea that the first century church had an unadulterated uniform pristine faith. The church, they think, was error free under apostolic direction and all early believers held the same belief and behavior on all topics. In response we sometimes ask, “Have you read the Bible?" Nearly all the New Testament was written to correct false teaching, bad behavior, fighting amongst believers and inflated egos. That was the negative emphasis. The positive emphasis of apostolic letters to the various churches was to establish sound doctrine. We would suggest to the new ill-informed “reformers,” who almost universally believe they are now the only true Christians or church, that if they are trying to get back to the New Testament church, they have arrived. We might also mention that Christian history is littered with the carcasses of often abusive groups who saw themselves as “restoring the true Church of the first century.” The fact is, the church is dealing today with many issues which are closely akin to those that troubled the first century church, if not indeed the very same issues. Those early churches were made up of human beings still encumbered with their old nature, and in some cases their pre-Christian pagan practices. As a result, they were not at all pristine and perfectly united in spirit and doctrine – and neither are we. Sad, but true. What makes the church, the Body of Christ, the church? It is not uniformity of belief in all areas but is made up solely of imperfect individuals who have called on the Name of the Lord for salvation and have been “made one” by the Spirit. The millions have become ONE, but much like marriage, their “oneness” does not guarantee agreement on all issues. The one thing that would bring uniformity in all issues would be for all Christians everywhere to stop this nonsense and simply agree with US, or rather ME – since I don’t always agree with my spouse. But we don’t really see that happening. We can all thank God for that. In Realville, while we are yet in our fallen state, true believers must, yes, affirm the essentials of the faith and have unity in the Spirit, in spite of disagreements on other important but secondary areas of the faith. For those who wonder what the essentials might be, this will be helpful: God – monotheistic (one true God), trinitarian (within the nature of the one true God exist three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit). He created all things, is separate from creation but interacts with His creation. Man – is part of creation and was created in the image of God. As Got Questions? explains, “It is a likeness mentally, morally, and socially.” Sin – Eve was deceived into disobeying God and Adam chose to follow Eve’s lead. The disobedience (sin) caused a separation (death) between man and God. Since then, humans are born separated from God with a predisposition to sin (sin nature) and we also choose to sin. Salvation – When Adam and Eve sinned, God provided temporary payment for sin in the form of animal sacrifice. This continued until the Son, Jesus, second person of the Trinity, incarnated (took on humanity), lived a perfect life in our place and died a death we deserved, to pay the penalty for sin that we owed, providing peace with God by calling on the Name of the Son for salvation. Resurrection – The resurrection of the Savior was physical and demonstrated death itself was conquered. This pointed to the promised redemption of the whole person spirit and body. When Christians breathe their last, their spirit separates from their body and goes to be with God. At the resurrection, their physical body is raised, and their spirit is reunited with their body. The inspiration and inerrancy of Scripture – the text of the 66 books of the Bible is God-breathed or inspired, and in the original writings are error free. Once we get beyond these essentials of the faith we may, and often do, have disagreements on important but secondary issues of the faith. These disagreements often involve something we might call the “mechanics of the faith.” They deal with questions like “How does God do stuff?” How did God create the heavens and the earth from nothing? (we have no idea). When did God create the heavens and the earth? (Many divide into armed encampments over this one). How could Jesus be fully human and fully divine and not some mixture of the two? Then there are the mechanics of the faith regarding living and practicing the faith. Which day should we gather to worship? Even Paul had to address this one (Romans 14 and Colossians 2). Is baptism sprinkling, pouring, full immersion or something else? A brief article on early baptism, “How was baptism practiced in the early Church?” describes many of the elements practiced then, including fasting for a day or two in advance, anointing with oil, immersion or pouring. Obviously, each position had their preferred method. There is an odd position which has (we say thankfully) passed from the scene and is no longer a point of current contention in the church: The Apostolic Tradition explains how those to be baptized must “remove their clothing,” and go into the water “naked.” There are many issues in various categories that are still fought over – we mean disagreed on – regularly. One of the biggies is the question of Pentecostal/charismatic gifts. Have they continued since the first century (continuationism) or did they cease in the first century (cessationism)? Very few have yet asked us what the true positions on secondary issues should be, and, as a mission that focusses on cults and non-Christian religions, MCOI does not take any official positions on most of these secondary issues although it is fair to speculate, we’d say IXNAY on naked baptism ceremonies. We feel that most Christians would agree that a vast majority of people look far better – and are far less distracting – with clothes on. We are all for “leaving behind our dirty sin-stained garments” in a spiritual sense, however. The fact that we do not take official positions on many of those issues, does not mean we do not have personal views which comport with our understanding of the Bible and our respective church affiliations, but it does mean we major on the essentials and try not to get embroiled in debates on secondary issues, which debates will likely survive until the LORD sets us all straight at the time of our redemption. The Bible does address the issue of “sign gifts” directly. In First Corinthians, the Apostle Paul spent a great deal of time (3 chapters) on the question of sign gifts in the church the believer’s behavior regarding these gifts to correct wrong conduct.  Some of those who had more visible gifts were acting arrogantly against those who did not. Consequently, chaos, pandemonium and divisiveness ensued. Paul’s first correction was to make clear that these gifts were not their personal toys but: To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (1 Corinthians 12:7) The gifts were for the benefit of the entire Body. Some would have more visible sign gifts others would not. All were to benefit and be blessed regardless of the distribution and all were to be act biblically, serving one another and being responsible in their behavior and attitudes. Unfortunately, there are some in the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement today which are unaware of – or perhaps disregarding – Paul’s instruction in this area. In spite of what Paul plainly wrote, chaos and pandemonium rule the day in some – though by no means all – Pentecostal/Charismatic circles today. Where Paul did not allow tongues in the church unless there was an interpreter of such utterances available, some churches today are a veritable cacophony of chaos. In other gatherings – particularly Word Faith and NAR – people are being routinely “bowled over with the Spirit” and being so-called “drunk in the spirit,” along with other unruly behavior. Paul’s word to the Corinthians on similar behavior was given both to bring godly order to the fellowship and protect the reputation of the faith to the outside world: If, therefore, the whole church comes together and all speak in tongues, and outsiders or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are out of your minds? (1 Corinthians 14:23) He ends this section with sobering words: But all things should be done decently and in order. (1 Corinthians 14:40) We also have a growing movement of false prophets which are operating with impunity within Pentecostalism. Sadly, one of their chief apologists seems to be Dr. Michael Brown. We have written on this issue with “False Prophets Prophesying Falsely,” in early January and “Michael Brown and the False Prophets” in late January. After Dr. Brown responded to that blog, we wrote, “Michael Brown: Fraternity Over Orthodoxy?” in March. The common thread through all three articles is simply this: We go to Scripture and recite the biblical definitions of false prophets. False prophets and false prophecies are also something Jesus warned his people to be on the lookout for. Biblically, a false prophet may even be one who gives true prophecies but use these “successes” to lead others to accept false views of God. Or alternatively, if a self-appointed prophet were to give even one false prophesy, even one teensy little prophecy that did not come to pass – they were to be recognized as false prophets and were not to be listened to. Period. The biblical guidelines are simple, easy to understand and unequivocal. The legal penalty for being a false prophet in the theocracy of the Hebrew nation was the same as sexual sin – capital punishment. The issue is so serious to God the Nation of Israel were to execute the offenders. Michael Brown and the false prophets have simply created extra biblical criteria which allows them to prophecy falsely with little or no repercussions at all. Recent times have proved to be a dark and embarrassing time for these “prophets” when a veritable blizzard of false prophecies were unleashed on the public, which stubbornly refused to happen as predicted, bringing great discredit to the church of Jesus Christ from enemies of the faith, and likely doing great harm to the faith of Christians that had believed in them. Word of these “prophecies,” when given, had been spread far and wide, so their abject failure was apparent to millions and these “prophets” were inescapably recognized for the false prophets they were. To make matters worse, even when all hope of the prophecies’ realization was past, these false prophets, men, and women, simply clung on – quite publicly – to the false hope that God would shortly do as they said. They openly and rather defiantly issued proclamations of “soon and very soon” fulfillment of said prophecies, rather than just admitting they had been disastrously wrong. After this massive public exposure of so many of these false prophets, and humiliating reality began to set in, a new tact has been taken by these false prophets. On April 29, 2021, the “Prophetic Standards Statement” was released. It seems the biblical standards are far too narrow and confining and could result in their being removed from pulpits and ministries, as we believe they should have been. It was necessary to implement a new criterion which allowed for the continued operation of false prophets while projecting at least the illusion of accountability for their false proclamations. Perhaps the two most illuminating paragraphs are: On the other hand, if a prophetic word is delivered containing specific details and dates in which the stated prophetic word will come to pass and that prophecy contains no conditions to be met in order to be fulfilled, and that word does not come to pass as prophesied, then the one who delivered the word must be willing to take full responsibility, demonstrating genuine contrition before God and people. Any statement of apology and/or explanation/clarification should be delivered to the audience to whom the erroneous word was given. For example, if it was given to an individual, the apology (and/or explanation/clarification) should be delivered to the individual. If the word was delivered publicly, then a public apology (and/or explanation/clarification) should be presented. This is not meant to be a punishment but rather a mature act of love to protect the honor of the Lord, the integrity of prophetic ministry, and the faith of those to whom the word was given. Not meant to be a “punishment? In the Hebrew Scriptures false prophets were to be executed. Execution seems like an obvious “punishment” of some kind to us. Under the newly revealed criteria, false prophets need to apologize, as well as giving an “explanation” and/or “clarification,” which means they can offer excuses for their actions. By what authority can these new prophets elevate their self-authenticating criteria above the clear word of God? It is clear the only authority they recognize is their own. This is not a matter of cessationism vs. continuationism. This is a matter of fidelity to the word of God concerning something on which He has been abundantly clear. We don’t say these false prophets are beyond the grace of God, or beyond His ultimate forgiveness, but to issue an “apology” without even coming to a real and deep understanding of the terrible seriousness to God of making false prophecies, is a very serious sin. How can they be trusted at this point? They do not seem to even know what they did wrong and should be allowed to go right back to “false prophecy business as usual.” It is a direct slap in God’s face. Obviously, false prophets are not qualified for leadership in the church. How could they lead others to understand the word, when they lack such understanding themselves, completely disregarding His clear warnings about false prophets and false prophecies. The Body of Christ, “to protect the honor of the Lord, the integrity of prophetic ministry, and the faith of those to whom the word was given” should rise up as one and call for the removal of any and all of the false prophets from leadership positions.Ω

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[pandoraships]

Hello! I just read your Shards of Power ff on ao3, and I looooove it, but I gotta say, as someone who doesn't play WOD, it was rather confusing on understanding the system. I was wondering if you have any form of trivia or facts about the universe to understand it better? Thank you

Oh Geeze someone actually read it?! and you like it!? 

First off thank you! Secondly I am so sorry about the confusion! It’s hard to balance story telling with out having Bakugo recount an entire source book to get the information out.

So the world of Darkness is rather thick Lore wise, and, as with all good rpg systems it allows for “different” versions of lore for each type of game. So It can be massively confusing. For this story though we can focus on the “Mage Lore”.

Mages are, as a group, as varied and multifaceted as any human population. They don’t themselves know exactly why they got the power they have, but there are few things they all agree on: 

1. The world is broken into three parts:

The Supernal realms :  This is the world of Truth, and was at one point part of our own world. It is a realm where everything is as it should be. The trees are perfect trees, the mind is not separated form the form, sickness is only there to make you stronger etc. Think Heaven/Nirvana/the summer lands. This world is separated into smaller lands, about 365 of them, and each is ruled by a different truth. 

The Fallen world / The Lie / The Mundane world : This is our world, the one you and I live in every day, but with a twist. Behind the scenes monsters lurk. They have always been with us, and humans stay blissfully unaware. The mages call it the lie, a sort of dream forced on every human through the use of a “sleeping” curse buried in their souls. Soul focused mages call it a “Shard of the lie” because it’s a part of the soul that anchors the lie to a person. It makes them forget, rationalize and dismiss any idea of anything but what the lie wants them to believe. 

Mages are humans whose souls have, at a crucial moments rejected the lie, and rid themselves of the lie to have their eyes opened to their true potential.

The Abyss: If the two worlds were part of one whole the Abyss was never supposed to exist. It is both a force of nature and a sentient angry resentful representation of every reality that never came to be. Because of this it seeks only one thing: To destroy both worlds and place itself in it’s place. It is the antithesis of truth and the lie. It is simply oblivion. 

It was summoned into being when the Worlds split apart, like an infinite ocean between the two. 

2.   Magic comes from the Supernal realm, crosses the abyss and powers spells. 

All magic is from the Supernal realm end of story. When the world split magic left, and it was only through some miracle that a few people managed to shake off the fall out and adapt to pull the power down to them. So far 10 of the realms have been accessed by Mages, through 5 paths that bridge the Abyss. Those realms are 

The Aether: Realm of the Obrimos. 

Most often called “Heaven” by those who misunderstand the path, The Aether is a place of Order and Power. It gifts those who walk their paths to it access to Prime, the coding of magic and the truth of the world above, and Forces, the powers of the forces of the universe, such as gravity, heat, kinetic force, speed.  

It’s Watchtower, the guiding anchor point of a path, calls to those willing to see beyond their own needs to the needs of others, and as such it has gotten a reputation for attracting religious types, but really anyone who believes in something larger than themselves will awaken to the Truth of this realm. 

Izuku awakened here because he so desperately believed that someone had to make things right that it allowed him to reach out to it. 

Arcadia: Realm of the Acanthus.

 Arcadia is a place of Time and Fate, where everything is bound by oaths and the cycles of time. Closely associated with the Fae this is the world that King Uther Pendragon went to visit to get Excalibur. To those willing to bargain with it for power it gifts control over Time, allowing them to swim against the tides, and Fate, the ability to create, destroy or enforce the threads that guide every person through their life. 

It’s Watchtower calls to those who trust to fate, or struggle to fight against it. It has a reputation for calling to fools, people unwilling to take control of themselves and their fate. Yet more than most Acanthus are the hardest to fool, as they can see the past present a future. 

Bakugo awoke to this path in a moment of need, but he won’t speak to anyone about it. 

The Primal Wilds : Realm of the Thyrsus. 

The Primal Wilds is a place of ever expanding Life and the Spirit of the world. It is the world untouched by humans, where boars the size of mountains roam through trees the size of skyscrapers. Those who can survive it’s trials wrest from it control over Life and Spirit.  They can control, create, destroy, change and bind both. 

it’s watch tower summons those willing to forgo the mores of society, or those willing to do what it takes to survive. It has a reputation for calling people who are brutish or violent. It also tends to call those unwilling to follow the norms of society. That being said you can find those who passed their challanges anywhere, from the Woods to a dance floor and even a boardroom in a fortune 500 compant.

Kirishima awoke to this, along with another mage, during a struggle that made him question what society wanted him to do. 

The Underworld / Stygia : Realm of the Moros. 

This, out of all the Realms, is the closest you come to a true heaven. It’s a realm of vast material wealth and rest for the shades that wander it. Damaged during the split of the worlds it is also the closest to the Abyss. It is here that all souls eventually travel to, but for those who seek to return from death and succeed it grants it’s boon. For those it chose they stand with one foot in the grave, able to speak to Ghosts, revive the dead in a way, and grant ultimate death of oblivion to their enemies. At the same time it gives all that a living mortal would need to keep themselves alive, allowing them control over the Matter of the world. Stone to bread, lead to gold, glass to jewels, all simple tasks of rearranging the basics of the world. 

It’s watch tower calls to those who realize in their last moments what it means to be alive. It grants them a second chance, a reprieve from their rest, to will themselves back.  It has a reputation for making boring mages, those that would rather tinker with the worlds systems than make big changes. The thing is Moros know well that nothing is permanent, even the massive changes, so you want to make the process better.  

An unknown mage awoke to this path because he refused to leave someone alone to fight on his own. 

Pandemonium: The realm of the Mastigos 

If the Aether is “Heaven” than Pandemonium is “Hell, but only by the ill informed. Yes it is a realm of the human mind, where all our demons and ills lurk, but it is also a realm of ever shifting perspectives and intimacy untold. It is the realm where you know yourself truly, and either you accept it or you die. For those who drag themselves through the gauntlet that this path is it gives them all the tools needed to enforce their Will on the world. They come back able to command their lesser Minds with a simple word, and makes them like it. No thought, No action, is safe from them. They can be anywhere at any time, Space is nothing to them, no walls can keep them out. 

An unknown mage awoke to this when he decided enough was enough and sent a family members mind into the void. 

There are, according to legend, more but only these have been confirmed. 

3. Sleepers cannot know, or at least until the shed their lie. 

While opinions on Sleepers vary massively from mage to mage, it is a fact that Sleepers knowing is Bad News ™. The lie that infects them eats away at magic, and can, if the magic is flashy enough, cause the Abyss to notice the casting of a spell and mess with it.  There are stories of a Mage casting a spell in front of sleepers once and turning himself inside out. Little things cause less risk, but it’s always there.  Some sleepers can shed that lie slowly, but it can cause them to go mad if you force it. 

These are pretty much the only thing every mage agrees on. Everything else depends on what you choose to believe and the society you belong to. 

Mage Society : Origins

Almost every Mage is told this when they first awaken, but no one ever can agree on the specifics, or even if it’s a real thing. The only reason it’s told is because it explains the Social order now. 

Once long ago there was a shining city, built by dragons who called to the Dreamers, people from all across the world, from every tribe and continent. They came and found that the Dragons had left, only their bones lay sleeping in the caves below the city. 

The Dreamers found they were gifted with power by these bones, given strenght for having traveled to claim it. They made their homes there, and began to strengthen themselves.  They elected Mage kings, and for many centuries sought to seek enlightenment. 

But as with all power there are those who want it faster than it comes, and soon there was a split in the city, between those loyal to the dragon dream, and those who wanted to go straight to the source.  They wrested power from those loyal and set to building a great ladder to the source of truth. 

A great war broke out between them, and the Dreamers were winning. In desperation those who built the Ladder, Now known as the Exarchs, fled up the ladders, with the leaders of the Dreamers, known as the Oracles, in hot pursuit. They fought in the true world and   in the fight the Ladder fell, ripping the world apart below them, and summoning the abyss. 

In the ages that followed even the great mages were susceptible to the lie, and forgot their gifts. Yet the Oracles were not lost. They went and built watch towers in each of their realms, and called to the brethren to reclaim the dream.  

The Exarchs though fought to keep the lie in place, so they would not need to share their power. To this day they struggle, across the panes of Truth and in the Fallen world. 

Mage Society : A primer.

Again, Mages are as Diverse as they are numerous. Mages exist in every country, demographics group, and political movement you can think of. That being said there are 3 main groups that exist consistently across the spectrum. 

The Diamond Orders/ The Pentacle : 

Known as the “Inheritors of Atlantis” these are the people who want to reunite magic with the world. This is who our main cast belong to. Depending on a couple of factors they separate themselves into 4 or 5 main groups.  Those are: 

The Diamond Orders: 

Considered the Original orders, these four Orders fashion themselves off the Orders of the Dragons from the Supposed original mage city of Atlantis. When this city fell during the splitting of the worlds they reformed and attempted to hold the worlds together. 

The Adamantine Arrow: 

Also known as :  Talons of the Dragon. 

These are warrior mages, who believe that conflict is natural and place themselves in between the threats of the Lie and their comrades. They delicate themselves to keeping all in their range safe as the war rages. They reject high offices to instead serve. The pledge Oaths and are honor bound to keep them, and often will die in pursuit of them. 

The Silver Ladder : 

Also known as : The Voice of the Dragon 

The Ladder are the diplomats and law keepers of the Diamond orders. They form themselves into a sort of Meritocratic cooperation, where you work your way up into power.  They task themselves with keeping track of the Awakened and providing for what they need. They handle disputes and law breaking with in the Concillium, (a group of mages in any give area ) and advise the head of the government. They also work as go between for neighboring groups to make sure that if needed they can help against threats.  They hope one day if they can make everyone cooperate they might be able to charge the abyss and reclaim what they lost. 

The Guardians of the Veil : 

Also known as : The Eye of the Dragon 

The Gaurdians are the cover up agency, think men in black but for magic. They believe that unchecked magic is Dangerous ™  and who has access to it should be controlled carefully, until the world is back together that is. They fight against things that the Arrows can’t, like dangerous items, creatures from the abyss, and spies in the various orders ranks. They believe that if they get their hands dirty they will spare others from doing it. 

The Mysterium: 

Also known as : The Wings of the Dragon 

These are the closest to “Traditional” Mages your going to get. They thirst for Knowledge and attempt to find and catalog every magical thing they can find. Think Indiana Jones meets your local Librarian. They experiment and push the limits of magic, and hope that one day they can find the missing link to tie the world together. 

The Free Councils: 

Also known as : The Fire of the Dragon. 

While not technically incorporated into the Diamond there is a Fifth “Order” called the Free council. Having been brought in very late (like during the Enlightenment era) These are still considered outsiders in their Conciliation, and tend to try to distance themselves from the more traditional orders. Still when push comes to shove the Councils are counted as invaluable to the Traditional orders.  

They tend to be made up of who ever agrees on 3 key principals: 

1) Hierarchy enforces the Lie 

2) Every human is Magical already, it’s just about waking them up. 

3) Seers are evil and must be overthrown. 

The Councils are loosely connected world wide, and each adopts their own style of governance. Most likely this takes the form of a town hall meeting is a with elected officials being offered as “representatives” to the various Diamond orders so they can vote in the Larger Concillium. Sometimes if they are particularly in disagreement with the Diamond they task these representatives with driving the other orders insane. They also have developed and maintained as sort of “Free council” web which they use to keep in contact. 

When referring to the Orders they often use the term “Pentacle” to include themselves. 

The Nameless: 

Neutral Mages, people who don’t believe the world is broken, or who just wants to do their own thing. These are also those who aren’t fully awakened, called hedge mages. They are considered as people who come from mages who never involved themselves in the war. 

The Seers : 

If the Pentacle inherited Atlantis these are the servants of the people who built the ladder. Gifted power in a way different the the Pentacle they worship the Exarchs as gods. They want to enforce the status Quo for various reasons, both personal and greed based. They do not see those who are outside of their group as worthy of the blessings and have no qualms with using them to their ends. They are specifically very adverse to the Free Council and often fight them openly in the streets. 

Pentacle mages : Day to Day life. 

Mages in the Five Pentacle orders tend to group themselves into 3 main social groups. 

The Order: 

The Largest is that of their order, where they move up the ranks in the Specific group. This gains them access to secrets they would not normally have, and allows them to amass status they can use in other Concillium.  This works because most mages in an order agree on a basic understanding of the best way to enlightenment. 

Each order has their own structure, but it works a lot like a secret club, with ranks that decide on policy for the order. 

E.g. Suneater is Riot’s First Talon, he is the leader of his group of Arrows and makes plans for the group as a whole. 

The Path : 

Like an extended family the path is a group of people who all share the same basic powers. While you can gain some titles in a path it’s usually something akin to a chosen rep to the Pentacle as a whole than anything like true power. Here the Mages find those who can teach them how to use their power mechanically.  The two titles assigned  to paths are “councilor” who works as a Council member and represents the Path of the city, and Provost, who works as a Secretary to both the Council as a whole, but primarily to their singular councilor. 

E.g. Present Mic is the Provost to the Obrimos Councilor of the city Eraser-head. Their task together is to track the Obrimos of the city and keep them from trouble.  Present mic Techincally also has a section of smaller groups of mages in a specific area of the city that he is expected to represent to the council as a whole, like a provincial governor to the Larger government. 

The Cabal: 

The smallest group of Mages, these are chosen pact bound relationships that in theory are completely chosen by the mages in question. They tend to have 3-5 members, with the idea being 5 members, 1 from each path.  That doesn’t mean that single path cabals don’t exist, they just aren’t considered ideal. 

Cabals are supposed to be formed around an idea or goal all members have, though most do it for resources or companion ship. 

When formed a cabal pledge an oath towards each other to bind them together. It’s very much like a mutual adoption thing, or a forming of a pack. 

They have roles, like people who go out and get everyone fed, or the scribe of the group, or the tender of the magical items, but most modern day Cabals only assign them to give a sense of whose in charge in that area. They expect everyone in the cabal to pitch in if they can. 

This is seen as a family unit. That means nothing, not the Order or path, can ask you in good faith to betray them . Arrows will not be charged to attack their own, Guardians never are asked to report on them, etc. 

This also means that taking a lover in this group is at some very basic level, considered weird. It can, with some more traditional types, cause you to be looked down on, but It’s not something most younger mages bat an eyelash at. 

Facts and figures: 

1 in 100,000 people successfully awaken  to a watch tower or through the Exarchs

Of the three groups the lowest number of people are in the Pentacle, followed by the nameless, and then the Seers are the most. 

There are further subgroups with in the nameless, such as people who worship the Abyss, those who came back “wrong” and others who want to purge the world of all magic. 

If you have any clarifications I have missed @freezesunshinebreeze or even further questions please feel free to ask! 

[puzzlepaws]

Sometimes getting back into the saddle after a length of time can be difficult. I had finally shaken the nasty cold that had plagued me just in time to work NekoCon October 31-November 3rd. Unfortunately, even though I had gotten my flu shot days before, after con I had a small relapse of the cold.

While I was well enough to blog last Friday, I’ll admit to having a bit of a mental block. I wanted to write…but the very thought of tackling nearly a month’s backlog of emails and empty space was daunting. It still is. But! SC and I did an awesome puzzle for Halloween in the short space when I felt well, and I miss having the schedule of posts to organize my weeks. So this week you get a bonus post or two. I have a small backlog of projects to write up before I can tackle new ones.

My mom knows I love Dowdle puzzles and she got me a handful of different ones during a summer sale.

Included poster, front and back sides.

if you can’t read the above photo, the Dowdle website has both the poem and a scavenger hunt here.

I don’t have my usual frame and pieces photos as I assembled this puzzle in a bit of a hurry with SC. I wanted to do SOMETHING for Halloween since I’d been too ill to decorate and had the last convention of the season coming up in a few days.

So I sorted the pieces according to location; sky/street/townhouses and we spent an enjoyable 3 or so hours trading pieces and exclaiming over all the little Easter Eggs that Eric Dowdle puts into his art.

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Because it was Halloween, I did dress up the cats in costume! Pandemonium as a BumbleBee and Hurricane Enlil as Sharknado!

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I have to admit, this 500 piece was a great way to get back to my puzzling habit. It’s bright, colorful, and busy; and the pieces are the perfect size for slightly arthritic hands.

PUZZLE SPECS

Company: Dowdle Puzzles

Title: Trick or Treat

Artist: Eric Dowdle

Year released: Unknown

Pieces: 500

Cut-Style:  Random

Finished size: 16″ by 20″

Bonus poster: Yes

Made in USA

QUALITY: 

Box: Sturdy and compact, 7.5″ by 7.5″ by 3″, with paper sleeve

Board:  Medium weight chipboard, sturdy pieces

Cut: Steel-cut Die

Image Quality: Excellent, great color saturation

Finish: Semi-gloss, with great color saturation

Puzzle Dust: Minimal

Piece shapes: A good mix of traditionally cut and irregular pieces

Piece Fit: Very Good. Some of the irregular pieces make it so that pieces can only be moved in small groups.

Disability Notes: The slightly larger size pieces of the 500 piece puzzle are kinder to the hands while still being complex enough to challenge lovers of larger piece count puzzles. Honestly, I want to try this brands 300 and 100 piece counts for this winter when my hands threaten to swell into claws. I can recommend this for people with mild to moderate arthritis or hand/eye coordination.

Where to buy: Trick or Treat is available on the Dowdle Puzzles website for $19.99 USD.

Dowdle Puzzles : Website / FaceBook

Disclosure: I received this puzzle as a gift. The opinions are my own.

Thanks for reading, and please click the Follow Button under my profile on the right side of the page.To support posts like this in the future, consider joining my Patreon!

Belated - Trick or Treat! My Halloween Puzzle Review Getting back into the swing of things. #jigsawpuzzle #500pieces #Folkartpuzzle #Dowdlepuzzle #halloween #catsoftwitter #bloglife #reviewer #puzzlereview #blogger @DowdleFolkArt Sometimes getting back into the saddle after a length of time can be difficult. I had finally shaken the nasty cold that had plagued me just in time to work…

[diverseladybookproject]

I’ve been wanting to review this trilogy for a very long time, and I finally have a break in ARC reviews (read: I’m reading too slowly) to fit it into. I listened to the entire Delirium trilogy on audiobook, and I loved almost every minute of it. I say almost because there were times when I was so anxious that I didn’t love what was happening, but I digress. I don’t know why* I waited so long to read these books, but I’m glad I finally did.

*I do know why. I was completely overloaded by dystopian trilogies for a while there, as was most of the world, I think.

The Delirium trilogy is about Lena Haloway, mostly. Lena is just a summer away from her procedure, which will protect her from the dangerous disease known as the Deliria. What is the Deliria, you ask? It’s love. In this alternate version of the United States, love is outlawed, and as soon as kids turn 18, they’re signed up for the Procedure to prevent them from getting infected. Lena lives with her aunt and uncle and two cousins, because her dad died years ago and her mother committed suicide after being subjected to the Procedure multiple times. For some reason, Lena’s mother couldn’t be cured, and she decided she’d rather die than go through the Procedure again. So, needless to say, Lena’s been exposed to some shit. 

Delirium, the first book in the trilogy, starts with Lena’s evaluation, along with her best friend Hana’s evaluation – the evaluation is something that happens in preparation for the Procedure. Lena’s evaluation is going terribly wrong, and then… a bunch of cows break into the building where the evaluation is taking place. That’s bizarre enough, but then Lena looks up into the observation deck and sees a boy around her age… laughing. People don’t really laugh after they have the Procedure. They don’t show or feel much emotion at all, in fact.

While running a couple days later, Hana and Lena actually run into that boy – it turns out his name is Alex, he’s going to the local college, and he’s been cured for a year or so. Lena starts hanging out with him before curfew, and… she starts having feelings. The Deliria. And Alex… let’s just say that he has some secrets of his own.

I know that the first book in this trilogy came out a while ago (2010? 2011?), so the spoilers are probably already out there. If I’m going to keep things relatively spoiler-free, I can’t really go into the second and third books of the trilogy at all. I can say this – Pandemonium, the second book, takes place about nine months after Delirium ends, but it jumps back and forth in time to cover that time jump. And then Requiem takes place immediately after Pandemonium ends, but this time we’re jumping back and forth between Lena and Hana’s points of view. It’s a fascinating story told in a unique, fascinating way, and I’m so glad I consumed it on audio. Sarah Drew narrates, and she’s fantastic.

I think that’s all I’m going to say about the plot. Yes, I have decided.

3 Things I Loved

Alex. I fell in love with Alex in Delirium. Completely, totally, I was 100% invested in the relationship between Lena and Alex. Of love interests in the surge of dystopian YA literature that came out of the early 2010’s, he was my favorite (that I’ve read). *SPOILER ALERT* I grieved when Lena went over the fence without him, when he was left to die. I grieved with her throughout the whole beginning of Pandemonium. And I didn’t like the Julian plotline, because I just had this feeling. Alex was so essential to the plot. Is he really gone? OF COURSE HE’S NOT. I was so happy to see my sweet baby angel again that I forgave his broody-YA-hero mentality for a while. But anyway, spoilery spoilers, sorry about that. Yeah, Alex is my fave, and I’ll go to my grave with Lena and Alex as my OTP for this era of stories.

Raven and Tack. Okay, Raven and Tack aren’t part of the story until Pandemonium, but they’re one of my favorite side couples and I love them. They didn’t deserve the ending they got. Tack’s surliness and Raven’s mother hen mentality and I JUST CAN’T I love them so much. I’m still not okay.

The Wilds. My favorite part about the framing of this world was the Wilds. Cities aren’t connected like they used to be – each city is sort of like a city-state, separated from the rest of the country with the Wilds in between. I was here for it. I would want to live in the Wilds too, hands down. I would have hopped the fence with you in a heartbeat, Lena.

Anything Problematic?

Since I listened to these on audio, I was consuming the story in small chunks that spanned over a couple of months. Aside from the fact that the story was mostly about straight, white people, and ace or enby/genderqueer people would have had no place in this world at all (based on the general premise and structure), nothing overtly problematic comes to mind. I mean, the whole premise is that love is against the law, that it’s a disease, so the world itself is pretty effed up, you know? There were some cringey moments when they’d talk about matching partners based on intelligence, and how mental illness was a crime (basically), and things like that, but like I said. The world itself is effed up. That doesn’t give it a pass, but it gives me some pause.

Rating

A reminder of the rating scale:

Red = DNF, I hated everything

Orange = Ugh, no thank you

Yellow = I mean, I’ve read worse, but there were problems

Green = This was good, but not something I’d reread

Blue = Oh my gosh, everyone should be reading this book

Purple = This is the unicorn of books and I will be rereading it until the binding falls apart

I’m going to give ratings for each individual book here, because I don’t think they’re all equally good. I gave Delirium four stars on Goodreads, and I’ve already read it twice, so I feel like that puts it in GREENISH-BLUE territory. I don’t necessarily think everyone needs to read Delirium, but I like it a lot and may relisten to the series again in the future. Pandemonium was even better, but I’m sticking with GREENISH-BLUE for the same reasons. And then there’s Requiem. Requiem wrecked me. I gave it five stars on Goodreads, and I’m sticking with solid BLUE on this one. If you like this genre, if you like Lauren Oliver, if you like stories about revolution led by ordinary people against extraordinary odds – this is your jam. Read them. Enjoy them. Listen to them on audio, because Sarah Drew is fantastic! And then talk to me about them, because I loved them a lot.

Have you read these? They’re sort of a blast from the past now, but I liked them a lot in the current climate – dystopian is more relevant again, and that makes it extra freaky. Anyway, if you want to chat about these books, come find me! ❤

Happy reading,

-A.

Audiobook Review – Delirium Trilogy by Lauren Oliver I've been wanting to review this trilogy for a very long time, and I finally have a break in ARC reviews (read: I'm reading too slowly) to fit it into.