"Why do you do this?" || Runt & Echo-17 || Drabble
"C'mon, kid! Give it a break! It's done!" the mechanic called up as Wraith 13 continued to scrub the nearly polished surface of her X-wing.
"Unless you've got something else for me to clean, Cubber," she called back down, "I'm not moving."
Cubber threw his hands up in frustration as the turquoise exo continued cleaning her X-Wing, the padded head of her long mop swiping back and forth once again along its fuselage. "Somebody get her down from there! She's gonna wipe the paint clean off!"
Behind him, another pilot approached, his long, brown face looking up at his fellow Wraith. His ear twitched and he narrowed his eyes, thinking about his approach.
"We will help," Runt said, causing Cubber to turn and look at him.
"Great," Cubber said, waving Runt forward, "do what you gotta do. I'd give her the Nara to clean off but it's out for the moment. But if she keeps this up, I'll put her to work cleaning the carriers while she’s at it!"
Runt nodded. "We will get her," he said and strode forward. "Echo?"
The exo paused, straightening as Runt Ekwesh approached, her chest heaving slightly. "Yeah?" she called, slightly out of breath.
"May we talk to you?" he asked, looking up at her.
Echo shrugged and waved him up. "Sure, come on up," she called, stepping over her canopy and onto the other wing.
Runt hesitated. "Uh, that is not what we meant," he called back up.
Echo paused, looked at the tail end of the X-Wing and then down at Runt. "Well, you're gonna have to come up because I'm not ready to come down yet. And unless I have orders, I'm going to clean."
Runt considered her for a moment and gave a nod. Beside the X-Wing was a mobile stair platform, probably what she used to get up there or to hold her things while she scrubbed. He climbed up and rested his arms on the railing of the short staircase, watching the exo as she worked. He frowned deeply.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" he asked, recognition and dislike glinting in his eyes.
"Do what?" Echo asked, running her mop over the outer canopy.
"Punish yourself."
Echo stopped, the audio fins on the side of her head tilting back slightly. "I'm not punishing myself," she said quietly. "It's not a punishment."
"Then what is it?" Runt pressed. "Why do you put yourself through this? Working harder than you should, hiding away from your friends when we know you would rather be with us than away from us."
Echo closed her eyes still catching her breath. How could she explain? How could she explain the pain and the fear she was feeling? The fear she was forcing out through her work while feeding it at the same time?
"It's not a punishment," Echo repeated, turning slightly toward Runt without facing him. "It's... a diversion."
Runt cocked his head and Echo could swear he was part horse or maybe a borzo-chocolate lab mix. "A diversion?"
"Yeah," she answered, turning toward him now, "a diversion. A diversion for me from the things I'm afraid of."
Runt blinked at her, his large, equine eyes fixed on her in confusion. "And what are you afraid of?" he asked, his voice lowering slightly.
Echo paused, her mouth plates pressed together as she pulled the mop in close to lean on it. Here was the million glimmer question - the one thing she didn't want to admit to but was tearing her up inside each day.
She opened her mouth but the words got caught in her throat. She tried again but she couldn't get it out. She tried to gather the words but they kept getting stuck in her mouth.
Well, she could just spit it out and rip the serrated thorn out while she could, maybe bleed out emotionally a bit before patching herself up. Or she could fight with how to word it so it wouldn't make such a big impact and just get back to scrubbing. One option made her quail and the other option made her choke.
Echo took a deep breath and leaned back, gripping her mop in what would've been a white-knuckle grip if she were human. "I'm afraid of being abandoned, okay?" she said at last. "I've been abandoned before, and I just..."
She looked away, closing her optics as she gripped her mop.
Runt lifted his head, a look of deep concern on his face. "You... were abandoned?" he asked carefully.
Echo swallowed and nodded. "Yeah... Yeah I was abandoned." She shifted uncomfortably, lowering her gaze as she spoke. "I... made a bad mistake with my first pack, the people who were first teaching me to be a Hunter. I had it out with them and I left thinking I could still be friends with the rest them even if I wasn't friends with the leader. Maybe I miscommunicated. Maybe I misunderstood. But the moment I wasn't part of them, I was shunned. Abandoned. I was six months old, Runt. I was a guardian without any idea what the hell she was doing, and I got abandoned by the only family I knew at six months old."
Runt was quiet for a long time. Finally he spoke. "I... am sorry," he said quietly.
Echo sighed and shrugged. "It is what it is," she said softly.
Runt was quiet for a moment before he lifted his head to speak again. "Do you think... we would abandon you?"
Echo looked up, alarm, regret, and earnest apology filling her plated features. "No! No, I just..." She put a hand to her face and sighed softly. "It's not you, Runt. It's not you or Piggy or the other Wraiths. It's not even my other pack, my Wolf Pack who tried to help me afterwards. It's me. I know it's me. I know it's me who's in the wrong for thinking this. But I can't stop! I can't make it stop! Even when I know things are going to be or should be okay, it keeps coming back. Like... Like being stuck on the wrong defaults for your X-wing. Or having to re-calibrate an R2 unit after every trip. It doesn't stop. It's just burned into me like bad defaults in an Astromech."
"Like a bad mind in one of my people," Runt murmured, a hint of a low growl in his voice.
Echo looked at him, this time it was her turn to cock her head. "A what?" she asked, a little thrown off. "What's a... bad mind?"
Runt shifted his shoulders, straightening slightly. "We have many minds, my people and I. Many minds for many tasks, the things we need to do to survive and thrive. Some minds are very good! But... some minds are very bad. We have seen some with good minds but we have also seem others with very bad minds. Minds that punish them for mistakes, that run away when they should fight. This fear, this insistence that you will be abandoned is a bad mind."
Echo considered Runt for a moment, her grip on the mop handle loosening somewhat. It made sense for someone like Runt to see it as a "mind". It made sense how he separated it too. Echo looked over absently and rested her eyes on the Astromech socket behind the cockpit.
"A bad mind..." she murmured and looked back at the Thakwaash pilot. "Alright, if I have a bad mind, how do I fix it?" she asked. "Because right now, I don't know if it's a bad mind anymore than a bad default. I mean, I'm more machine than organic at this point and I'm pretty sure you can't override burned-in defaults."
Runt hummed, frowning as he stroked his chin in thought. "No, but you forget that you are not a droid! Droids have defaults, things even a factory reset cannot destroy, personalities set in their circuits. They can be reset at will! But you cannot. You struggle with overcoming bad programing, your bad mind, but you still try, still fight to become better!"
Runt grinned, his blocky teeth pale against his brown fur. "We have seen you be better! You used to run and hide for a long time when this would happen. You have not been doing that so much. You have been working instead! Letting your friends and fellow Wraiths find you when we need you."
Echo paused and tilted her head at Runt. "And... you needed me? while I was up here?"
Runt shook his head. "No," he said and looked at her fixedly. "You needed me. Just as you needed Piggy when your pilot and hunter mind were not listening, we believe you needed us to help you with your bad mind, your fear mind. And we will! We will help you... Ah, if you will let us."
He lowered his head at the last few words, making it less of a statement and more of a deference to her boundaries.
Echo smiled lightly, a feat of facial control managed by few exos outside the legendary Cayde-6.
"I'd like that," she said, letting the mop lean a bit as she loosened her grip. "I'd like that a lot."
Runt lifted his head, beaming with a horse-ish grin. "Well, come on then!" he said, waving her toward the small staircase. "The sooner we get started, the sooner we can fix it!" He turned and trotted down the stairs, the spring in his step getting a laugh out of Echo.
"Alright, alright, hang on," the exo said and called down to the mechanic below. "Year that Cubber? You got your wish! I'm coming down."
A whoop of relief and delight sounded from across the hanger.
"Finally!" the mechanic hollered and made his way to the X-wing as Echo and Runt departed.
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