#man idk how you tag edibles

[snorpdawg]

Happy Funny Number Day. Here’s a joke Fansnax I put too much thought into

[bitchlessdino]

I have this in mind, maybe svt member x reader where they are classmates from college, they are close but not THAT close lol. Until one day they started talking about house prices and how the rent is so expensive, but still with the desire of living alone, so he (maybe hoshi or woozi) proposed that they should find a place together to split rent. It started as a joke, but then they found a really good place and decided to try to live together for at least one semester.

so yeah at first everything is great since both of them are always busy, so they dont really see each other that often around the house.

until it could be that they are sexually frustrated and start a friends with benefits relationship (but in secret, so their circle of friends dont know about it). However, reader always had a big crush on him, but never said anything. idk what else to say

Pairing: college roommate!soonyoung x afab!reader Genre: smut Word count: 5.9k tags: pwithplot, established friendship, roommate au, friends to fwb, pining, pervert!reader, pervert!soonyoung, mentions of alcohol, mutual masturbation, blowjobs, missionary, doggy, praise kink Summary: When it comes to the economy and needing a roof to live under, having a roommate is your best option, especially as any desperate college student. When arrangements are made with Soonyoung, a friend you admittedly have a visceral lust for, things take a turn one messy night. Making this arrangement more of an edible arrangement. author note: so i may have run wild since hoshi posted those thirst trap photos haha. im very proud of the header i made for this. this was something i planned on posting before my unprepared hiatus, and hopefully i'm still in spirits on continuing this. please anticipate more of me and remember that writers love interaction, criticism or not <333

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @wonuhour @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun

“That’s funny, Soonyoung’s looking for a place too.”

You looked over at the man in question to see him mid-feast on a sandwich bigger than his face as it puffed his cheeks full like a common squirrel. “Why are you looking for a place? I thought you made plans with Seokmin?”

The man struggled to swallow down the larger-than-life bite, barely managing to do without scratching the back of his throat before answering. “His parents convinced him against it. I should’ve known he’d back out when he didn’t know how to do his own laundry.”

“Do you know how to do your own laundry?”

“I know there are colors and whites, detergent and softener—I’d figure it out.”

“I’m hearing a no…”

“Youtube exists. How hard could it be? But yeah, I’m looking for a place.” He set his sandwich aside to lean in closer, washing down any remnants with a swig of his Jihoon’s stolen Coke Zero, who at the moment couldn’t be more distracted with Physics paper. “It’s not easy that’s for sure. A single bedroom is way too much on its own and anything bigger I can barely cover half of.”

“Here’s an idea,” Mingyu suggested like it wasn’t on his mind for the fifteen minutes you’ve been complaining about being essentially homeless, “Why don’t you guys figure something out together?”

“Really? Me and Soonyoung?”

Your counterpart couldn’t help the offense washing over his face. “What’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t know if you’d be a good roommate.”

“What makes you roommate of the year?”

You rolled your eyes. “We’ve known each for what, a semester and a half, and I don’t know what your living habits are. I’ve basically lived alone all my life with my parents working all the time. How do I know you won’t push all the housework on me?”

Scoffing, his lips twisted up in a cocky smile. “You’re looking at the flail youngest of two who did almost a decade of housework for a hundred dollar allowance for a week. I don’t waste Pinesol, I hand wash dishes, and I keep my 50 pairs of shoes neatly out of the doorway and in pristine condition.”

“You can do all that and not operate a washing machine?”

“The buttons and colors confuse me.”

“So,” Mingyu interrupted again, “How about it? Sounds like you guys a both a little desperate. The housing market isn’t getting any lower.”

“I guess you don’t sound all to bad to live with then,” You replied with a tinge of a tease.

“What do you bring to the table?” Soonyoung interjected.

“Discounts for food at my work, a Netflix account, a pack of scrub daddies, and a decent amount of disposable income for half an average month's rent and fun stuff if we ever get bored. Down?”

Soonyoung stroked his chin as if to think, but his head, the deal sounded as good as it can get. If he was being honest, he was desperate, but after the berating, he couldn’t let you know that. “Add in some salon-quality shampoos and conditioners and we have a deal.”

You groaned. “Fine, for a semester for now, but you’re getting laundry stuff and learning how to use the machines.”

You hadn’t expected to be apartment shopping with Soonyoung looking like a pair of newlyweds, but here you were doing exactly that. There wasn’t anything particular about him that bothered you, (except maybe the harboring attraction you had for him since freshman orientation that you blanketed over with over argumentative banter and an aloof attitude when he was around).

But as far as you knew, you were morning and night.  Sure, you’ve gotten along in social situations, but you knew how drastically different your lives were. When you aren’t working, you were a homebody and he’d bring bodies home. He lived differently than you did to put it plainly.

And perhaps the idea of waking up with him every morning possibly shirtless and/or naked frankly made you both terrified and aroused all at once.

The moment you shook his hand to agree, you were already feeling some regret, but hey, maybe that’ll actually do you some good. Maybe you’ll finally get over this school crush on this unattainably hot guy after seeing how disgusting he is leaving his underwear and socks in every corner of the place. It’s inevitable things can only go down from here, right? Right?

“A few ground rules should be in order.”

Soonyoung nodded, putting away the remainder of the edible arrangement gifted to you by your collective friends in the fridge. “Like what?”

“Chores should be switched off every week so we know how to handle all types at all times, but we do our own laundry. No exceptions. Dinner is a group effort. If we get takeout, always tell the other at least an hour in advance and costs are split. Groceries are bought biweekly with a set budget.”

“Strict, but ok. I’ll do my best to follow them. Anything else?”

You were reluctant to bring up this last one. You cleared you through, taking a second to properly form the words before letting them out. “If we have someone that we’re getting involved with, it’s either done at their place or in an empty apartment with plenty of notice.”

Soonyoung can’t help but bust out a wide and perfect grin, crossing his arms seeing the timid expression on your face. “Fine. I’ll make sure when I have sex with someone, it’s under those guidelines.”

“Ha, thanks,” You awkwardly respond, “I’ll abide the same.”

His eye narrowed at you dubiously. “Wait, you’ll actually get around?”

“Why are you doubting me?”

He chuckled, shrugging smooth broad shoulders through his black sleeveless tee. “You just don’t really seem about that. There’s nothing wrong with it, but—“

“You don’t know every detail of my intimate life so butt out.”

His arms rose up in defense, nodding along. “Alright, okay. If that’s all, I have a few rules of my own.”

“Okay. Have at it.”

He mused to himself for a few seconds. “Bathroom schedule: first come first serve.”

You nodded, easy enough.

“At a few hours of the day, the living room becomes an at-home gym when needed.”

Okay, that one had a little kick to it. “Alright.”

“And we have a safe word.”

You blinked back at him, heart pounding a little louder than it should, legs clenching as if they were being pried apart, and sweat burning the temple of your forehead with the unnecessarily dirty thoughts running through your mind. “A w-what?”

“A safe word,” he repeated as a matter of fact, “a word we can use when there’s conflict and something wrong and we just completely stop what we’re doing.” He grinned a little. “It’s not just for sex you know.”

You shoved him, earning his chuckle. “I know that, jerk. But fine, what do you suggest?”

“…Tiger.”

“How did I know that’s what you’d say?”

“Because we’re good friends.”

“How about ‘hamster’?”

He frowned. “No.”

“But look how effective that was.”

For the most part, things went smoothly. It helped that things got busy and tasks barely needed to get done with the exception of laundry. You saw each other more in your friend group gatherings than at home in your shared arrangement, and despite everyone knowing you live together, neither of you made it a point to make a big deal about it, even if everyone else does.

The countless times you had to fight Seokmin, Jeonghan, or Jihyo about the possibility of something developing between you and your new roommate romantically pained you with their inaccuracy. It seemed left and right that’s all everyone could talk about since it was arranged. It seemed as if there was nothing better up for discussion. Soonyoung dealt with it all the same, being constantly asked what kind of nefarious doings are being done behind closed doors that no one knows about. It always came as a disappointment when it was broken towards them that nothing was happening and that nothing ever will.

Even to you. Surprising enough.

If you learned anything from living with Soonyoung, it was harder than you expected it to be, especially with a still festering crush that is only developing into something almost tangibly heart-wrenching and stomach churning. It seemed to have taken a turn for the worse when Soonyoung started to take advantage of the home gym more due to the massive heatwave in town. 

The damn pull up bar.

You’ve only realized the time you’ve wasted after hearing the kettle whistle you put out apparently ten minutes ago. Your mind was too clouded by the flex of his biceps lifting his body in the air. Or the contracting and releasing of his shoulders that were lightly misted by perspiration. Or were too preoccupied with wanting to lick off the veins of the poor man’s lower abdomen. Or thinking about what those arms could do flinging you upside a—

“Oh, early class?”

“Uh, yeah. There’s a lot more traffic today, so I'm getting there earlier than usual.” 

His feet landed on the ground with a thud and he grabbed a towel to wipe over the sweat that was making his body glisten like glaze on a smooth buff donut. “I’m guessing you have no time for breakfast then?”

“Unfortunately,” you respond, quickly pouring your tea into your thermos before getting to your shoes, “I was gonna grab something at the Starbucks on campus after.”

“Here.” He tossed something from a box behind him and watched as you flimsily caught it from the front door.

“Oh.” A protein bar, a good one from your experience of raiding his side of the pantry. “Thanks.”

“And cancel all previous engagements. Dinner’s on me tonight.”

You squinted at him, “Why?”

“We’ll have something nice for once tonight,” he grinned, “be home at 8 tonight.”

Soonyoung’s plan for dinner was a free courtesy of Mingyu who found a nice little gig as a sous chef in a trendy place uptown. The whole circle celebrated together and you only got around to knowing after Soonyoung kept you updated on news knowing you’d be too busy to look at the giant groups chat you’re in. You should’ve been appreciative. That should’ve been your first instinct, not…entitlement. Not envious of him making eyes and flirting with the waitres. Not embarrassment for expecting something more from his brazen invite to dinner with you.

So, by then you’ve had a bit to drink. Okay, a lot to drink. Just enough to drink to have you stumbling on the center dance floor that garnered the attention of prying eyes. At that moment, nothing really mattered. You knew where lines lie, but lines eventually blur.

One second, you’re alone swaying to Britney Spears’ “toxic”, another second, Seungcheol’s crotch is up against your ass. It was a nice sentiment since you were definitely craving a bit of attention tonight, although you weren’t sure if you could look your friend in the eye again after that. Fortunately for you, it only got so far until a shapeless, but familiar, body pulled you away from the scene, forcibly putting you away in a bright yellow car. With your many failed protests, they managed to reach the footsteps of your building and finally reached for keys in their front pockets to open up your apartment.

“Hold still. Please…God, I am not sober enough for this.”

“Soonyoung….” You whined like a lost child.

He gripped you tighter by the arm to lock you in place, preventing you from falling. He was used to being taken care for and the grass was not greener on the other side. He has a lot of people he needs to apologize to. “Almost…okay, okay. I’m in. Go. Go shower and sober yourself up.”

You tugged him at the wrist, pulling him towards you. “Shower with me…”

He scoffed, a smug smile forming on his face. “You have no idea what you’re saying. Go before I make you, and I really don’t wanna have to make you.”

“Fineee…”

Logic flew out the window tonight. Not paying it a second thought, you began stripping yourself of your clothes in the middle of the living room, from socks to immediately your shirt. Soonyoung’s eyes nearly shot out of his skull as he scrambled to cover you in your abandoned shirt before it almost hit the ground.

“Undress in the bathroom please.” Even in your intoxicated state, you could feel the tension of his muscles brush against your back, causing the heat to creep up on your skin.

You let yourself melt into him giggling, turning your head back to meet his cautious eyes. “Maybe you’d like to help with that.”

You can see the bit of shock in his eyes, fluttering back to something more composed once he internally reminded himself this was the ramblings of a drunk person. “You really don’t know what you're saying.” He then pushed you inside the restroom, holding the door by its knob, “Shower and brush your teeth. I’m not letting you out until I’m sure you’re done.”

“Soonyoung…”

“Please, just do it.”

Eventually, he finally convinced you to do as he asked and he hears the shower running, but a mere second later a thud follows. You busted out in a fit of pain, slipping on the already wet floor and immediately your roommate comes running in concerned. “What happened?”

He turned his head the second he processed your fallen body on the ground was bare naked. Shower water poured down on your head, drenching you from head to toe, and glistening your body like a wet dream. Your eyes lit up at him in a timid demure, barely covering your intimate parts with your arms and hands. He coughed dramatically, pinching himself to find restraint, and repeated his quarry of concern with avoidant eyes before you pointed out the obvious, “I fell.”

“Hold on to the rails, that’s what they’re for,” he groaned.

“Sorry.”

He sighed, slightly glancing. “Do you need help?”

You shook your head even when he wasn’t looking. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Good. Just be careful and tell me when you’re done.”

And you’re alone again.

You pulled yourself up from your pathetic state and then the warm water run through your features, letting out a loud sigh. You finished up the best you could, ridding yourself of a night full of grime. Grabbing a towel on the rack, you wrapped it around your damp nude before letting Soonyoung know from the other side of the door. He finally let you free from his handmade prison before watching you go scurry to your bedroom in a concoction of drunken embarrassment.

You muttered to yourself scoldings for letting something like that happen, clenching your legs together in bed the moment you hear his round of shower hit the tiles through the thin walls. A groan unexpectedly sounds off abundantly clear, and your shameless thoughts take action while he’s preoccupied. 

Still naked, you let the towel fall to the ground and you crawl under the sheets of your bed, not caring in the slightest about your hair getting your pillows wet. Your hands slowly trail down to your chest, ghosting over your skin until the pads of your fingers finally found what’s between your legs. You moaned at your self-discovery. Filming your fingers with your filthy arousal, a smile derived from self-indulgence shaped on your face. There you let your fingers slide between your folds and you shudder.

Meanwhile, Soonyoung couldn’t get your image out of his head. The glimpse alone was enough to make him think of you in compromising positions. Lips around his angry stiff cock, your tongue sliding against the veins of his shaft. He’d then hear the wet suction, the vibrations of your mouth humming around his skin, moaning his name like the perfect dessert you were. He groaned again to himself, pressing his length against his abdomen, not thinking you’d hear.

But you do. In fact, it’s so coherent, it makes you wet enough seep past your thighs, trailing down your legs. Your fingers plunged in you deeper while the palm of your hand rubbed against the shape of your clit. Your hips heave up from the mattress, pressing deeper into your palm as the image of Soonyoung’s face stayed a constant in your intoxicated head.

Soonyoung could hear your moans through it all, even if you didn’t think they did, and you only further fed his imagination. He braced against the wall behind him, thrusting into his fist with gritted teeth. The squeeze he had on his girth was merciless and all he had to rid of his overwhelming sin. In his head, you batted your pretty eyes back him, trailing your hands over his body, mouth gaping that looked ready to be filled one way or another. He threw his head back, whispering your name softly. “Oh, baby…you look so good swallowing my cock.”

You felt tears soak your eyes, swallowing a desperate breath.“Mmh, fuck…just like that please…”

“Gonna fuck your pretty pussy…” His thrusts roughly pulled himself at his base, clenching the life around it.

“You’re so deep, fuck, you feel so good—“

“You’re gonna make me cum—“

“Shit, I’m gonna cum—“

“Shit—“

“Shit—“

Simultaneously, you both were freed of your tension, a sudden release of breath escaping your lungs. The spilled cum fell at Soonyoung’s feet, melting in the heat of the water before it followed down the drain, while you fell slumped in bed in your own filth. You lazily reached out for your towel to clean the rest of the mess, tore away your dirty sheets, and settled into a tired slumber.

Soonyoung, overwashed with shame, hung his head down as he quietly cursed to himself. He shut off the shower head and reached for his towel. He finally concludes this evening, having taken a load off. There wasn’t much left on his mind that night, only teh thought of wanting it to be over.

The morning comes sooner than you realize and you find yourself at the mercy of a shirtless Soonyoung like most mornings, except this time he wasn’t doing pull-ups. Instead, he walked to you, a vigor to his stride and he decidedly met your eyes, while you were still focused on his body.

“You’re not very good at hiding things,” he said with a knowing smile.

“Soonyoung—“

“Should I just give you what you want? Should I fuck the shit out of you until all I can hear is my name?”

An answer was caught in the tightness of your throat when he lifted you off the ground and instinctively made you wrap your legs around his bare torso. The heat of his body is all you could focus on until he planted you flat on your kitchen counter, parting your legs to reveal the sudden bareness beneath your oversized t-shirt.

He licked his lip, tensing up his abdomen excitedly before he found home between your thighs. Your fingers threaded through his hair, crying out in soft breaths, and pulling his head back to meet his pretty eyes glossed over with lust. 

He mumbled into your skin, specifically one thing. And he said it over again and over again. Unable to make out what he says, you asked him to repeat it more clearly. It was then he rose up to the surface, a sticky sweet sheen of your arousal in his lips before he drew them close to your ear. His breath fanned your skin, shivers running down your spine, and finally what he says makes sense.

“Wake up.”

Your eyes ripped open like the ground beneath you should’ve. You ran a hand over your face, groaning at your own dismay. “What the actual fuck…”

It took a minute for you to pull yourself out of bed, groggy and with a raging headache to blow over throughout the day, only to be met with nearly an identical circumstance you met in your dream. Your roommate’s bare back stared back at you as brightly as the morning sun. You shrunk back at the reminder of your dream, walking on eggshells towards him to reach the fridge. “Morning.”

Soonyoung coughed on his water recognizing your presence, timidly greeting you back.

“Plans today?” You asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, classes in the afternoon.”

The silence couldn’t be more deafening.

“You.”

“Yeah, me too. Will be back at home at 9 after work.”

“Cool.”

“Cool.”

And soon you parted, embarrassed that encountered ever happened.

The rest of the day, there was much of seeing each other like most days, but this particular instance felt there was more of a reason to it. Even when it came around to your mutually available time at lunch, you made the extra effort not to run into him. How could you?

After making a pass on him and making the half-conscious decision of touching yourself to him while he was in the shower?

You’d be insane to go about things as if they were normal. They weren’t. 

When you came home that night, he was home like he always was, yet nowhere in sight. You knew he was home when you noticed his bike locked up where it normally was and shoes placed at the front of the door. You were tempted to call out his name but refrained when you reminded yourself you were yet ready for that confrontation yet.

Unfortunately for you, you didn’t have a choice in the matter as  Soonyoung seemed to be already walking out of his room, shocked to see you actually home despite it being the time you said you’d be home by. “Hey…”

“Hey.” You let your stuff down before heading to the kitchen. “Did you eat yet?”

“Uh, yeah. I got pizza with a few Chan and Seungkwan.”

“Cool. I’m just gonna make myself something real quick.”

“Alright.”

“Did you need something?”

“Hmm?”

You pointed to his door. “You came out of your room.”

“Right,” he quickly scanned the floor before claiming nearly finished bottle of water on the couch's corner table. “W-water. I got thirsty.”

Obviously, it was an excuse, but you weren’t going to point it out with your lack of backbone. “Okay, well, I’m out here if you need anything.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Before he retreated back to the room, a halt was squeezed out of your throat, catching him in his eager steps. He turned to you with unfocused eyes, hard swallowing in an attempt to calm himself down. “What is it?”

“I need to get this off my chest. Yesterday…I’m really sorry for everything yesterday.”

He sighed. That’s what all that was? “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Also. Shit, um. I don’t know why I’m saying this because it's not like it matters. Well, it does a little bit. It could totally come off wr—“

“Hey,” he interrupted, “I doubt it’s as big a deal as your making it out to be, and I’m okay with not knowing.”

“But you should know actually.” You steadily approached him, letting out an exaggerated exhale. “Yesterday, you were showering and I don’t know what got over me. Well, I was drunk, so I guess there was that bit. Anyway, I heard you, you know, and I guess I—“

“Touched yourself when I was in the shower?”

You shut your eyes, preparing yourself for the worst. “Okay, we’re getting right into it, but yeah. It just felt weird not telling you, I just—“

“You knew I was masturbating?”

“Well, yeah? It was obvious if I’m being honest. Not the point. I invaded your privacy and indulged in it. I don’t know, maybe it’s been a while since…I just want to apologize.”

“For what, overhearing me whack myself off,” he took a step closer, eyes a lot like your dream meeting yours, “or for cumming to the thought of me?”

You breathed out through your nose. In and out. Your eyes for the life of you could not stay steady. “B-both?”

“If we’re being honest here, I should come clean too, shouldn’t I?”

Your hand steadied on the couch, almost letting the force of gravity pull you down along with your sanity, but tried maintaining eye contact as if that would change the dynamic even a little bit. “About what?”

Soonyoung finally found the humor in the situation to smile, one that caused the stagger in your step. “About how your face would come up when I touched myself in the shower.”

“Soonyoung—“

“You can be mad at me, but I won't be mad at you for doing the same thing I did. I don’t regret it because that was the best orgasm I’ve had in mon—“

You silenced his lips with your own, launching you into him until all you felt was the heat of his furnace of a body. His hands claimed the small of your back before pressing your curves into his hollows. He received your lips feverishly, moving against you as if in heated debate, and crashed your body into the furniture closest to you. 

“Didn’t know you were this eager,” he mumbled, “you should've told me.”

Your hand gripped his hair, your teeth taking his bottom lip between and pulling, emitting illicit whines that filled your stomach with warmth. Your leg propped to his side, embracing him hungrily there wasn’t even space to breathe. His hips knocked back into you, his bulge grinding against your clothed heat as he arched you over the back of the couch.

“You’re a bit mean. I like that.” He giggled.

“Shut up,” you mumbled.

“May I remind you, you kissed me.”

“And I can back out right this second.”

“Oh, but we can’t have that,” he utilized his upper strength to lift you off the ground looped tightly around his torso, a gasp leaving your lips. You reunite with his eyes that are now leveled with yours. You’ve looked into them before but it shocked you with how dark they are, how earnest they look. “You see it, don't you? How much I want you? I see it in your eyes too.”

“T-this a tactic you use on all people you sleep with?”

He shook his head. “Just you, and only because I really want you.”

Your hand planted against his cheek, the curve of your palm hugging his jaw. His breath hitches from the mere tenderness in your eyes. His body has ever only told him he was you carnally and raw, but that gaze. If he would just bottle that gaze and show off like a trophy.

Your hand crawled over to the nape of his neck, there your digits ran up his hair, pushing him innately close to yours, and you whispered cautiously, “We can never tell the others.”

“I’ll take this to my grave if it’s what you want.”

You nodded. “Good boy.”

He transported you to his room, dropping you on his mattress with him to follow. Your lips stay glued together a perfect mold, tongue clashing in a union that you’ve only even dreamt of having. Soonyoung only briefly pulled away to reveal his torso. He was firm, flushed to the touch, and heaving under the heat of your palm.

You gasped as he pressed his body against your touch, smiling against your skin as he asked if you liked what you were seeing. All you could do was nod, somehow lost in the trance that you never wanted to escape. His mouth took your neck, roaming starved as his hands undressed you down to your underwear.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” He slipped you out from your sleeves and made skin contact. Chest to chest, waist to waist, hips to hips. You sense his want through touch alone and for once being wrong felt so incredibly right. What a relief to know, he felt what you did. “I never wanted someone this badly before.”

“Soonyoung…”

He nipped your neck, teeth scratching against your skin. “You say my name like that, I’ll have no choice but to ruin you. Be careful around me. Or don’t. I’d show you a good time either way.”

“You’re—mmp—such a…ah—s-sweet talker.” You could hardly talk back. He made love to your skin as if he’d done it before, touching every pressure of your body like a skilled lover, both attentively yet without remorse.

“I’m only saying what I’ve been thinking. Like how desperate I am to feel myself between your thighs.” He tugged down your underwear to your feet and let the fall to the ground, allowing your legs to hook around him. “Or how your lips taste like caramel coffee, the candy you eat every time you need a ‘pick me up.’”

“You pay attention to that?” You asked, fiddling over the button of his pants.

“I don’t make an effort to, I just do.” He found your hands, aiding you in your efforts, soon you heard the sound of fabric hitting the floor. He held your gaze still, guiding your hand over his hard cock, taking from the base up to the shaft. You swallowed memorizing his shape, his length, his weight. There was so much you wanted to be able to share with this part of him alone. “Now it’s your turn to pay attention to me.”

Your lips stretched over your cheeks. “What makes you think I don’t?” 

You trace over something particular with your other hand, something that bulges at you even with his pants on. You lifted yourself to sit up, folding your calves behind your thighs. Stroking his length with one hand, you admire your veins leading down his lap with the other. “I’ll have you know, my patience is admirable. It took a lot within me to blatantly ignore these pretty veins you have on your stomach.”

“Someone’s never called them that before,” he chuckled, “no one’s even acknowledged them before.”

“I guess no one’s been privileged enough to see them as often as I do. Lucky me.” You thumbed over the blue, scrapping over its stroke as you lowered your head and your lips wrapped around the head. You covered his underside, tugging  your lips around him, and watching his jaw drop lower when you began covering more of his length.

“I’m the lucky one,” he acknowledged, his hand dropping to the crown of your head before caressing the length of your hair. “You should see how good you look sucking my dick right now. I’m never gonna see this image without wanting to cum on the spot.”

You steadied yourself at his hips, tongue gliding over the underside, and you hugged your cheeks tighter around his girth. Eyes fluttered back at him, and you wretched to take more of him, already felt him hit the back of your throat. When you heard him moan, it fed you more encouragement, giving your best efforts to fit all of him. You coughed at the tightness in your throat but remained resilient. The vicious substance of your saliva coated him from tip to base as your hand stroked him repeatedly, pushing him deeper into you until your vision grew weary. 

Soonyoung told you to take it slow, stroking the back of your head with a gentle hand. You inhaled him for as long as you could, the sounds of your efforts growing dim the deeper he made it past your mouth. Ultimately, tears ran down your cheeks, oxygen cut from your airways, and you felt no choice but to pull him out, resting his cock between your fingertips as you gasped for breath.

That breath was quickly stolen when Soonyoung dived in to claim it, his body caging yours. His weight against yours was comforting, enticing, addicting. He moaned your name sweetly like a song, and it filled your stomach with embers of desire. “You’re so hot…I’d make you do that again if I wasn’t worried about killing you.”

You pathetically scoffed in an attempt to cover up discomfort. “That? Pff, I’m fine.”

He grinned, kissing you long and deep. “You’re so cute when you lie. I’ll make sure to return the favor now.”

Pulling at your thighs, he dragged them towards him, barely touched your eager heat, and his twitch urging you to pull him close. He leaned over somewhere behind you to tear open a condom, rolling it over himself. As he drew closer, so did you, feeling the inviting head of his cock glide over your wet cunt, you trembled in thought. Soonyoung, just—

“Put it in me.”

“Now, now. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled cheekily.

“Soonyoung,” You whined.

Your impatience is rewarded when he plunged himself in slowly, but completely, embracing the stretch of your walls as he filled you out. “So…needy...”

His initial thrust is deep, strong, and then he landed another, quickly adjusting to the plush of your pussy. You held your thighs back to your chest, and spread your legs wide for him. Your pretty lips weren’t shy with praising him, asking him for more of his pretty cock, and earning just as you ask. “You’re mind-numbing, shit…what a good fucking pussy…”

“Your cock’s so g-good in me…you feel so good inside me, Soonyoung…”

“Fuck, say my name like that again.”

He flipped you on your stomach, pressing his fingers into your as he found his pace from behind you, ramming into you until your cunt has tasted every inch of his cock. You gasped as his hand maneuvered you to push back against him, like a toy to be played with he used every bit of you, your energy, your sexuality, and he embraced it. You felt amazing. 

“Soonyoung, I’m—ah—I’m gonna cum.”

“You’re gonna cum around my cock? Hmm? Is that it? My cock fucking you that good?”

You bit into his cheeks nodding, in the urge to respond before the wave of arousal crashed into you. You were clenching your stomach as his name came in tidal waves, grinding towards him to prologue the high. Loudly, you cursed, balling the sheets underneath you into fists. 

Soonyoung nodded proudly, the shaky view of your body trembling beneath him fuels his ego and it’s not long before he orgasms, filling the condom until it nearly burst. He pulled out of you finally, quickly discarding the trash before he joined you in bed, hugging your fatigued body to his side and there was silence. Only silence.

And breathing. Mainly Soonyoung’s. And that went on for a good fifteen minutes until someone spoke again.

“I’m glad I waited for that.”

You looked up at your roommate curiously, the smile on his face felt warmer every time you saw it. “What was that?”

He met your gaze, hand softly moving over your hair. “I feel like I’ve gotten closer to you. I always wanted that.”

“Really?”

He nodded, planting a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Who knew sex would make us closer friends?”

Your body ran cold, in the distance you could hear the shattering of glass far off from reality. You stayed frozen under his touch as he embraced you closer to his naked body, hooking his chin over your neck. “We should do this again. I wouldn’t mind getting used to this.”

That’s what you were scared of. Getting used to this. To this arrangement. To the sensation of his cock inside you. To the sense that it’d never be more than you hoped it would be. You’d never have Soonyoung be yours, but you knew somehow you’d always be his.

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

Noni !!!! ♡

Help! Staaap me ! I'm having ideas aaaa, I don't write well, but the muses gave me this, and I need to torment someone with it ! Lucky you !!

Here was I doing the dishes and daydreaming about a certain blonde sorcerer, and I'm giving you the idea/prompt/ idk what this is, but maybe it.could turn into a story in your dexterous hands. Hehehohoho

Your husband Nanami Kento wakes up and you're not there, he hears you the kitchen making Saturday morning lazy day off work breakfast.

He wakes up hit and bothered and go the kitchen to tempt you, he's in grey sweatpants, you are wearing his white t-shirt. In a soft gruff morning voice, you're in the sink washing some fruits, he kisses the nape of your neck, talking smoothly into your ear, you can feel his "discomfort" pressed up into your back, he carries you, coax you back to bed, kisses wherever he can. You continue carrying on with your duty, playing vou, until his slips a finger into your panties, starts toying with you and then your done for it, breakfast forgotten, he carried you back to bed and sweet, spicy love making morning time. 🔥🥵💀❤️‍🔥

Sends you a hug and well wishes ! I'm gonna rot in hell with all these ideas.

Tags/warnings: MDNI 18+, P in V, Cunnilingus, BJ's Domestic, Established relaationship, Soft Nanami Kento, mention of washing dishes and 1 mention of kidnapping (there is no kidnapping Nanami is just anxiety ball) FLUFF, smut, idk what else.

A/N: Here it is. Im sorry it took me so long to write this i mean i really put the pro in procrastination...

A sudden clang of metal jolted Nanami Kento out of bed. Immediately, his arm reached out to his right-– empty. The messy bed and askew pillow suggested someone may have lain there, but the lack of warmth that reached the blonde's fingers suggested that the one he looked for had left long before he arose. 

Nanami swung his legs off the side of the bed and, picking up his grey sweatpants off the floor but not quite bothering with his slippers, cautiously made his way out of the room toward the offending noise. His hand balled up in a fist, ready to attack whatever intruder there may have been awaiting and, of course, to defend the love of his life: you. 

But what met Nanami's eyes instead was the most breathtaking sight he had ever seen…

In the soft golden glow of the gentle morning sun, you stood— illuminated. 

Your hair was still messy from it being smushed against the pillow. You wore his white tee-shirt, which strained against your hips, tummy, and chest wrapping you in a secure embrace. And on your feet were your fluffy, bunny bedroom slippers. His tee-shirt barely covered your ass which Nanami quickly realised was bare underneath, when you lifted your arms, trying to reach a higher shelf. You were washing dishes…washing dishes… the clang. Nanami quickly put two and two together and smiled. There was no danger after all – save that of his breath loss.

He silently crept up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Good morning, beloved.” 

You jumped, dropping the bowl you'd been sleepily scrubbing, replicating the sound that woke Nanami from his dreams. “Christ, Ken…you scared the shit out of me.” 

The man behind you chuckled. He dipped his head to rest in the crook of your neck starting to kiss your skin softly. The smell of the bed still lingered on your body, warm and sweet. 

“We'll, we're even now. For a moment I thought you were being kidnapped and were putting up quite a fight.” 

“What—what do you mean?”

“A loud clang woke me up.” 

Silence fell as you stood trying to process the reason, during which time Nanami's nose grazed against your skin trailing down, inhaling your sweet scent. 

“Did you know how much you smell like something terribly edible in the mornings?” He nipped at you. 

“Ken…” you whispered, “It's early, Ken.”

“Mmm.”

“We forsook the dishes last night already. I really want to finish up.”

“Well, I'm not stopping you, am I?” 

You sighed and tentatively resumed the slow scrubbing of the bowl you had dropped earlier. 

Nanami dropped his hands from your waist to the hem of his tee shirt on you. You felt the fabric creep up the swell of your ass. 

“Kento-o-o,” you warned. 

“Go on. You're still able to wash the dishes.”

The lips on your neck burned,  sucking and licking at the thin skin. A wanton moan sounded somewhere, and with a blush, you realised it was you. 

Nanami chuckled. “That’s my girl.” 

“Nanami Kento, you really are incorrigible,” You turned around to kiss him. 

“Can you blame me? When I walked in here to find you looking like everything I ever dreamed of?” Your noses touched, and Nanami pushed his hips against yours. Suddenly the room felt hotter than before. “Do you see what you do to me…”

You could feel the growing bulge in his sweatpants. It strained against the fabric reaching out, needing touch. 

Nanami flipped you around so he could face your back and ground against your ass. His hands reached up to cup your breasts pulling you into him so he could whisper in your ear.

“Let's play a game, let's see if I can make you come before you can finish washing up. If you finish washing first, you win and I'll buy lunch for us today. If I make you come, well, you're buying.” 

Your lover's fingers found your slit. Expertly delving into the folds, he toyed with the bundle of nerves between. You were playing a losing game. The events of the night before were still fresh in your muscle memory and with the lightest touch your libido had been awoken again, remembering the touches from a few hours ago. 

Trying and struggling to pick up a plate and the sponge, you quickly realised your grip was lacking. Kento kissed your neck again, this time with the intention of leaving marks. His semi-hard cock prodded at your back and the thought of him lifting you onto the kitchen counter flashed in your mind. 

“You seem to have lost some soap darling,” Nanami said without missing a beat. You looked down at your hand, curled up in a fist, squeezing the once-pregnant sponge for all it was worth. “Now wouldn't it be something if I could make you come on just my fingers…” 

“Ken…this isn't fair,” you whined. 

“Oh is that so, would you like me to stop then?” 

You shook your head vigorously. 

“That's what I thought.” 

Keeping his fingers at your clit, Nanami kneeled down and used his other hand, and shoulders, to spread your legs apart. The tight tee-shirt rolled up your ass, exposing it to the cold morning air and you felt goosebumps rise. He spread your asscheeks and dipped his face right in, replacing his fingers with his tongue. You were already dripping. It wouldn't take long. 

The dishes lay untouched. Your knuckles were white from squeezing the sponge, and here you were, just seconds away from coming all over your lover's face.

Anticipating the release, Nanami hummed against your pussy and in his signature baritone commanded, “Come for me.” 

His lips wrapped around your throbbing clit sucking on the nub. Your legs gave way and immediately his hands caught hold of your waist. 

“Fuck– haa– coming, Ken–” 

Your thighs quivered and your orgasm came shattering through and you held the countertop for support as Nanami helped you ride out your high, licking you with slow broad stripes. When you slowly came down from it he withdrew, getting to his feet. 

“Guess I won that round.” 

You did not complain when he took your hands and led you away to the bedroom. The tee shirt was the first to come off. With it, he wiped away any remaining soap suds on your arms. He sat you down on the bed, your legs still unsteady, and you took the opportunity to grab the waistband of his sweatpants. 

“Sweetheart, you don't have to…” 

You shushed him. “I want to, please?” You said, looking up at him with big eyes. 

Nanami nodded. 

You tugged the fabric down, letting his cock spring free. 

Smiling at him, half disbelieving you remarked, “It's like we barely touched each other last night, look at you Min-min…” 

Nanami stroked your head. “It's the effect you have on me, Princess. You turn me on, so fucking much…” 

Your tongue licked a long stripe up his length, while you kept your eyes locked on him. “I could say the same about you, you know.”

Nanami closed his eyes and tilted his head back, the grip on your hair tightened. 

“Really? In that case, I'd suggest we keep doing that for each other for the rest of our lives.” 

You took the head in your mouth and bobbed up and down on it, letting him fill you. Although he allowed you to go at your own pace his hand never left your head, gently stroking your soft hair. With one hand you wrapped the base of his cock where your mouth couldn't reach and pumped him in time to the movements of your head. 

As it was always, Nanami's size was not easy. No matter how many times you took him in your mouth, you would dribble and drool, trying to fit more. Fortunately, this served to only spur the man on, and he gently thrust into your mouth – careful not to hurt you. 

It was evident you were not the only one still raw from the night before. Quiet grunts and deep growls, in the company of sharp hisses, as your tongue found its way around his cock head, told you that despite looking composed, Nanami was as desperate as you felt yourself to be. The wetness between your thighs only increased as you sucked his cock – turned on by not only what you were doing for him but also what you were doing to him.

A sudden loud hiss and Nanami grunted, “Shit, babe, get off!”

Losing yourself in the feeling of his cock in your mouth you failed to notice how Nanami's balls had tightened, ready to unload. You released him with a pop but continued stroking. “Come in my mouth,” You felt a twitch under your fingers but continued your gentle movement. 

“No, not your mouth, need to – feel—”

He pushed you down to the bed without waiting for a response. You smirked, and spread your legs. 

“Look at you, so desperate for this pussy. If only people knew how the great Nanami Kento could be made to kneel so easily.” 

Nanami blushed, lining his cock up with your entrance. His hands fondled your breasts lightly flicking the hardened nipples. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as he pushed past the small opening, stretching you out onto his cock.

“I could– say the same– about you, my love,” Nanami parroted your earlier statement. 

He bottomed out easier than usual, filling you to the brim. Your hands found purchase in his hair – tugging gently and you pulled his head to yours, meeting his mouth in a rough, sloppy kiss. He pinched your nipples just as you slipped your tongue in his mouth and swallowed the filthy moan that dripped from your lips. 

Kisses coupled with well-timed thrusts had you at the edge well enough, but Nanami was far ahead of you. Desperate to have you come around his cock again he searched the bed for the small vibrator that had been discarded among the rumpled sheets the night before. Not once did he stop fucking into you, searching only with the sense of touch and, when he finally came by it, wasted no time in switching it on and laying it on your clit.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Your hips bucked upwards as blasphemous prayers dripped from your swollen lips. He grabbed hold of you, easily lifting your body into an embrace feeling the strong vibrations run up his cock as well. His thrusts grew faster and rougher with each passing minute.

“Hnng– fuck, I'm going to come, baby,” he growled. 

Your fingers carded at his hair and you pulled his even closed faces just inches apart as you looked into his eyes and cried, “C- come for me then. Right– right now. With me!”

Nanami let go with a guttural groan spilling inside you, at the same time you felt your climax wash over you. Your pussy held Nanami in a vice-like grip pulsing and throbbing as he emptied into you and you gushed onto him. The vibrator fell to the bed, once again lost among the sheets but you couldn't care less. Nanami was kissing you, like it was the first time he'd ever kissed you. Lips, teeth, hands, you were pulled into him as he devoured you. 

The high gradually faded. You laid your head on Nanami's arm leaving small kisses along his skin – wherever you could reach. He smiled down at you. 

“I meant it you know, let's actually keep turning each other on for our whole lives…”

You looked up at him, your heart full. “Nanami Kento, as much as I love you, I'm not accepting that proposal. You have to get me a ring.” 

He chuckled and pulled you into his arms, kissing the top of your head, “I'll do that, and more. Starting with our repeatedly abandoned dishes.” 

You kissed his chest smiling. “I can't wait to say ‘I do’.” 

A/N: GUys i DROPPED MY PHONE ON MY FACE JUST AS I FINISHED THE SEX SCENE and it very STRATEGICALLY landed right on a pimple on my forehead with the corner like FML. here i am thinking about being railed into SUNday by MR NANAMI KENTO AND MY PHONE SAYS BONK GO TO HORNY JAIL HELP. THAT TOO DURING PRIDE MONTH. is this a hatecrime???

[chronically-ghosted]

delicious

rating: T (for cursing and drug use)

pairing: dieter bravo x f!reader

word count: 2160

summary: in order to make a fundraising event bearable, you and Dieter take edibles. When the event runs long, your only chance to make it out alive is to find something to eat. 

warnings: drug use (it’s just edibles c’mon you narc), eating, the munchies, messy kissing, dieter bravo being a giant goofball and i hate him, this fic is so self-indulgent i'm embarrassed FOR you, FLUFF

a/n: this one kicked my butt, idk why. But @ravensmadreads says its good so here you go. For my 100 followers event (this is the last one! wow!): @sp00kymulderr asked: Taylor!! Congrats on 100, you’re my favourite blog honestly I check your posts every day just to read your tags lmao. For the celebration can I request some of our sweet boy Dieter with the prompt “We should probably leave, before we start a scandal.” it’s absolutely perfect

🤍Masterlist

After thirty minutes, your eyes are starting to cross. Your high-ribbed dress pinches the soft skin under your tits and the boob tape is starting to chafe your nipples. The ruby red heels have officially given you blisters but the worst – the absolute worst of it – you’re fucking starving.

And the Layaway Barbie at the podium marches on, her big eyes wet and her mouth begging, as she proves to a roomful of donors why they should spend another million in . . . tree-frog rehabilitation. Dieter had been drawn to the little green guys with red eyes on the front of the invitation and as the guest of honor for his “philanthropic” work when he was “dating” a Doctor Without (personal) Borders six years ago, how could he not go?

Let’s take an edible before we go, he said. 

Whatever the vibe, it’ll be better if we’re on edibles, honey. 

That is the last time you let him convince you of anything while he’s not wearing pants and his hand is down yours. 

Your stomach grumbles and you fight back a whine. You make a noise like that and someone will definitely know you’re on drugs. The portly man next you has been staring at you with poorly hidden disgust all night as it is. But for now, his eyes focus in on Layaway Barbie, his loose jowls around his permanently down-turned mouth reminding you of a cartoon character. But which one?

Your eyes narrow at him. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye and it comes to you.

“Droopy!” you yelp and immediately clap your hand over your mouth. Your table mates eye you as if you are some society dredge they did not wish to involve themselves with. 

You turn as best you can in your seat, ready to either be scolded by Dieter or have him laugh with you, but he does neither.

In fact, cross-armed, low in his seat, he lets out a low snore. 

It’ll be fun, he said. 

“Dieter!” You hiss. Nothing. His face is relaxed, lips parting as he falls deeper asleep. Irate you didn’t think of it first, you smack him across the knee. “Dieter!”

He jerks, eyelids cracking open briefly, and suddenly he drops his chin again.

“Thank you for your blessing and influence, oh Lord. Am— oh, hey, baby, what’s up?” 

“Don’t ‘hey, baby, what’s up’ me. You were asleep and you just faked praying.” 

“Better than faking other things,” he yawns loudly, blinks a bit, and realizes the “inspiring” speech (and presentation) is still going on. “Oh, fuck, we’re gonna die here.” 

“Can you please keep it down?” The woman to Dieter’s right snaps. “You are making a mockery of a serious and pressing issue facing our society.”

Dieter blinks at her, his arms still across his chest. You can hear the bitch climb up his throat before he even opens his mouth.

“Well, you’re making a mockery of that dress and you don’t see me complaining–,”

You snag him by the hand and pull him away from the table before the woman has the good sense to throw her drink into his face. 

He stumbles behind you as you push on the metal bar, the latch clicking, and you both tumble out into the empty hotel hallway. When the event started, everyone had been herded in from the other doors, where the lobby was. This looks like the kind of hallway drunk co-eds wander down while trying to find the bathroom after prom. 

Which – ironically –

His big paw clutches your waist as he falls, or rather, stumbles into a tacky maroon and gold wall. In the fumbling under his legs as they overtake you, and keeping the rim of your heels from biting into your already puckered flesh, he manages to pin you beneath him. The instant the smell of his cologne washes over you, the instinct to claw his stupid eyes out evaporates. You sigh, both of his hands cupping your neck. 

“Mhmm, there she is,” he murmurs, sing-song, kissing your nose. “Little hellcat turns baby kitten when she gets what she needs.” 

“You are the biggest idiot I know,” you purr into his ear as his hands slide through the layers of your skirt to your ass. 

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.” The cry you let out when he pinches your ass cheek beneath your dress is all the answer he needs. 

Hands full of your thighs, he rubs you up the wall but there’s too many layers, too much gossamer to get him where you need him. His breath comes in short pants as he presses sloppy, wet kisses to your shoulder, your clavicle, your cheek. 

There it comes again. Hunger. Driven on by –

You bite him.

“Ow!” 

He pulls back and your mouth drops open in horror – you didn’t mean to bite him that hard and –

Your stomach lets out the most petulant growl. 

Hand on his neck like it’s bleeding, Dieter follows your gaze to your stomach as if it had called his name.

And then you both break out into side-splitting laughter. 

He eases you down, giggling, his nose pressed to your temple. Were you at home, the sex would have probably continued, but the atmosphere would be different – playful, teasing – he once did a Kermit the Frog impression while balls-deep inside of you and you laughed so hard you instantly came all over him. 

“Baby,” he sighs through his teeth and kisses your hairline. “I know. I’m so fucking hungry.” He snaps his teeth by your ear and you push him back by his chest. Two goddam years of dating this moron and he still makes you blush like you’re fifteen and necking with a band geek. 

His fingers wrap around your wrist to hold your hand above his heart, kissing your knuckles. He sucks your thumb once before you yelp, and he pushes your fist into his hair as you try to squirm away. He smirks into your neck.

“Dieter!”

“I’m hungry!”

“You’re the one who suggested we take edibles before coming to this thing.” 

“Mhmm, let’s go home and do more drugs.”

“But you owe me dinner. Five Guys?”

“Baby, I have to eat something first to have enough stamina for that.”

“Oh my god, you –,”

He bites you on your earlobe again, grinning as he comes behind you to nudge you down the hall. “I know what you meant. I’m down for burgers, but I want, like, five.”

“Me too. Carry me? My feet hurt.”

“Of course, mah kwehn,” he nods as he scoops you up across his broad shoulders, momentarily taking on the affectation of Jon Snow and his loyalty to the dragon queen. 

You’re working to kick your heels off as he marches the two of you down the hallway and you’ve nearly gotten your second heel off (the first in your lap) when he suddenly stops. 

“Oi, Thomas, we’re not at the train station yet,” you grumble as you reach for your heel, awkwardly tucked under you and his arm. “Keep it going. Choo choo, you know?” 

He still isn’t moving. You frown up at him, another transportation joke at the ready, but his wide-eyed stare gives you pause. 

“What are you looking at?” You turn in his arms, hunger now officially twisting your stomach painfully. “Why’d you–,”

Your mouth falls open. 

Beyond two double doors at the end of the hall sits a silver cart, loaded with tiny chocolate desserts. 

You swallow the spit flooding your mouth. This time, his stomach grumbles as if to add to the argument. 

“Dieter, put me down.” He all but drops you. 

“Dieter, we can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“We shouldn’t.” 

“Why?”

“You’re only saying that because we’re both high as fuck right now and I’d eat bathroom soap if I could.” 

That seems to rattle him out of his starvation-induced stupor. He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Please, when have I ever not eaten something I wasn’t supposed to?” 

You blink up at him, now several inches shorter without your heels. “What? None of that made sense.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m going for it.” 

He strides past a very wide hallway branching back towards the lobby of the hotel, no doubt where several waiters intended to roll dessert out to the waiting reception. They’d be back at any second, but either due to being higher than a kite, his own innate lack of shame, or a combination of the two, Dieter is across the hallway in seconds and he snatches up two of the little chocolate spheres and shoves them both into his mouth at the same time.

“Holy shit, they’re cream puffs.” 

Your hunger nearly doubles you over. “C-cream puffs? Those are m-my–,”

“Your favorite. I know. Mhmm, fucking get over here.”

Trembling from a lack of food and nerves, you slink over to him, hand out-stretched. He’s already had four more by this point and he’s stacking more onto a single plate as your fingers squish around one right in front of you. You pinch and the gooey white cream eases out the side. You whimper. 

Dieter pauses, the tips of his fingers stained with dark chocolate and a dollop of cream on his cheek. 

“That’s the sound you make when I eat you out.” 

Rather than answer your boyfriend, you pop the cream puff into your mouth. Your eyes roll back in your head as the pastry melts on your tongue.

“Oh fuuuck.” 

Dieter watches with growing concern as you scarf down pastry after pastry. “Okay, now I’m a little offended you’re so turned on by this.” 

“Shut up, and let me eat.” 

In minutes, the silver cart is empty. Chocolate smeared across a dozen haphazardly-arranged plates, dots of cream littering the spaces between plates and on the edge of the cart, it looks like a fucking war zone of confectionery. 

You find yourself breathing heavy, your face and arms covered in the guts of those poor, poor baked goods. Dieter isn’t faring much better, his jacket stained and beard sticky. Your hunger is sated, for now, but you think of burgers and fries and a vanilla milkshake and immediately turn to Dieter, who stares back at you with wide eyes.

“I want six burgers–,”

“We should probably leave before we start a scandal–,”

You stare at each other, soldiers shell-shocked, rehabilitated werewolves in horror of their bloodshed. Bloodlust.

The second you get home you’re gonna give him the kind of blow job that stops his heart.

Half-way laughing, half-way crying, you take him by the collar, further smearing chocolate over the starched white linen and his neck, and kiss him soundly on his conspicuous mouth. He giggles through the kiss and cups your cheeks, his massive hands sticky and warm. 

“We should go . . .” he murmurs again before pressing his lips to you again. Cream puffs or no, it all tastes better when you lick it off the corner of his mouth. 

“We’re gonna have to walk past the lobby,” you bemoan into his patchy beard. Dieter smirks and without warning, squeezes your right tit, leaving a very clear chocolatey handprint on your dress. 

“Dieter!”

“C’mon, baby, I wanna devour you. And I want all of them to know it.”

That was the thing about Dieter Bravo, he never did anything small. He never allowed you to feel small. He was obsessive about taking pictures of you, posting them everywhere, never ashamed of you and desperate to have the world see you the way he did. 

Like you were delicious. 

“I’ll buy you six burgers if you let us walk out like this.”

“Deal.” 

Grinning like only a man with nothing to hide can, he takes you by the hand and leads you back towards the very fancy dinner you’ve both no doubt been kicked out of. 

Something rises up in you the longer you stare at his broad back. 

“Dieter, wait.”

He pauses, turns, and crumbles slightly beneath the weight and intensity of your kiss.

“I love you,” you say before he can slip his tongue into your mouth. 

Dieter Bravo does nothing small, is nothing small. Except when it’s just you and him and the words you just uttered hang in the air between you. A small, hesitant smile expands across his lips, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing but it warms him nonetheless.

“I love you too.” 

He kisses your nose and you sigh into him. You could stay like this forever, wrapped up in him. But then you might just eat him alive.

“Burgers, Dieter.”

“Right, right. How many do you think we can buy at one time?” 

You both ignore the paparazzi and their cameras as you walk hand in hand, your heels in your other hand, with Dieter out the front door and into the limo, arguing about which fast food joint would let you get at least twenty burgers. 

Nothing about Dieter Bravo is small. Especially his appetite. 

[rourouxiaobao]

SVSSS Brainworms Be Plottin'

Because Stilton asked for lesbingqiu ideas on Discord last weekend. My brainworms got progressively more unhinged. In my defense, t was late, I'd had a couple of drinks in me, and I was gonna have MDZS Dragonji x Foxxian cosplay photoshoot the next day. XD

Feel free to gank any of these fic ideas for your own use! All I ask is that you credit my unhinged brainworms if anything results from them. XDDDD (And thanks to Stilton for instigating my brainnworms to percolate these ideas, LOL!!!)

#1) Ikebana Peak lord Shen teaching her (deliberately) dense disciple who Really Does Not Know An Iris From A Rose.

#2) The Bimboification Of Empress Luo (And How She Met Her Consort Who Doesn’t Know She’s A Consort) I assume Bingmeimei is full-fledged empress by then. Perhaps cooking up a storm with all manner of rare (sometimes abyssal) ingredients (bc if anyone can make that stuff not only edible but delicious, it’s the protagonist and her cooking halo). And SY is all “ah, bingbing is such a lovely chef, her husband will be such a lucky man, able to eat her cooking all the time, this old woman is not worthy 🥹❤️❤️” levels of oblivious. And it reaches a point where Bingmeimei, at an utter loss, wonders if she can get away with orchestrating an entire wedding, and cooking for it, and shizun shows up presumably to see her beloved disciple off and be served tea, only to realise as they are being instructed to bow that she IS NOT THE ‘MOTHER’ OF THE IMPERIAL BRIDE, SHE IS THE WIFE TO BE OF SAID IMPERIAL BRIDE and Bingmeimei is just smiling happily all the while. Or something. Tags would be “crack”, “but not really”, “but still kinda”, “SY redefines oblivious”, “so yeah just canon level oblivious”, “SY will put up with all of Binghe’s nonsense”, “because simp”, “Binghe resorting to Yakety Sax levels of shenanigans”, “because when the going gets tough the tough use sledgehammers”. Alternatively, if less cracktastic, then perhaps Wife Plot #684, involving a temporary time-reversal curse of some kind meant to invoke Introspection and Mild But Ultimately Temporary Angst Whose Resolution Will Show Shizun The Light. Hack-author-created flora may or may not be involved.

#3) Bingmeimei accidentally gets transformed into The Tiniest Terror and only SY can get her to settle down (Bc I have de-ageing/kidfics on the brain recently.) MBJ (who perhaps remains male in this, bc of the hilarious juxtaposition of enormous demon king and teeny tiny little heavenly demonlette) is at his wits’ end until his hamstery little wife (bc, again, hilarious juxtaposition of tiny little petite human wife whose long, loose sleeves disguise SQH’s ARMmunition bc An Ding Peak cultivates The Swole Path have you seen those fucking carts of lumber) decides Shen-shijie is Best Suited For The Job and gets MBJ to teleport a mid-tantrum Bingmeimei into the bamboo house. Bingmeimei with her fluffy hair in loopy braids, following SY around SY absolutely dying from how cute Bingmeimei is. SY unable to stop thinking if this is what Bingbing’s daughter might look like. Idk how Bingbing Grows Up Again but when she does, SY wants to wife her up and have her babies, or something. Cue magical baby-growing flora or something? Momotaro/Kaguyahime foliage? Bc it’s not stealing ideas if it’s done by a hack author who desperately needs to pay the overpriced rent for her shitty apartment.

#4) Body-swap! By way of pollen from the Magnolia of Mirrored Minds (bc Airplane-juju was Feeling The Alliteration that chapter)! Or tea accidentally brewed using the Joined-Hearts Jasmine instead of regular-ass jasmine instead (or Chrysanthemum of Clarity)? And SY has to learn to look past The Accidental Friendzone? While Bingbing has A Talk with A Very Terrified System (bc Systems are not programmed to deal with threats from users that have the benefit of a Protagonist Halo)? And after the bodyswap, SY returns to her body and to a Much Improved And Very User-Compliant System, while Bingbing goes back to her body very satisfied with having put in its place the being that causes her precious Shizun much anxiety. A wedding is planned, and System002 very grumpily issues a [ Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! ] notification.

#5) Liu Mingyan Is The Best Wingwoman In The Three Realms Bingbing commissions her (via SQH, via MBJ) to write ‘Winter Peach Blossoms Upon The Tranquil Mountain’, a ballad/novel about an orphaned kitchen maid yearning after her secretly kind but publicly aloof Young Mistress Of The House, and how their forbidden love blooms when The Young Mistress is kidnapped one snowy winter and held in a cabin (with only one bed) upon The Tranquil Mountain and our earnest young ingenue maiden sets off to rescue her shizun young mistress from an extraordinarily beautiful bandit with a mole beneath one eye, and upon their return, the master of the house (the young mistress’ elder brother Qi-dage) has died and left everything to his beloved Jiu-meimei and she and the kitchen maid get married and live sapphically ever after.

The ballad/novel is a great hit and especially popular with Xian Shu peak disciples, spinsters and their dedicated handmaids, and brothel ladies.

Eventually, a sequel ‘Wine From The Twin-Pitted Plum Is Sweetest In Autumn’ is published following the wedding of Empress Luo and Peak Lord Shen. It isn’t a commissioned work but the empress receives an advance copy as a wedding gift.

[likeadeuce]

would love to hear about "surplus if we need it" !

For Tag Game (see above):

"surplus if we need it" is the sequel to "Crosstown" (https://archiveofourown.org/works/51719059), my niche'iest fandom, based on the novel "Confidence," by Rafael Frumkin. Long story short, the MCs are 22 year old boyfriends, semi-closeted, and running an extremely disreputable stock market scam in the guise of a 'wellness startup.' Title comes from 'Riches & Wonders' by the Mountain Goats and is suitably on the nose. This fic exists for exactly 1-2 other people and Idk when it's getting finished but I have enjoyed writing it so:

I’d had a few drinks and my after-dinner edible was kicking in or I never would have said it, but I had and I did. “Are we ever going to do anything with all this money? Like, for us?”

“It’s all for us, buddy.  We’re not in it for charity.”  Orson didn’t look up from his laptop, where he’d been deep in a database of big-money donors to mental-health nonprofits. We had theorized it wouldn’t take much to get them to redirect some of their munificence to a couple fresh-faced boys with a shiny startup.  Doing good while doing well was in the zeitgeist in northern California in 2012, and Orson was good at riding a zeitgeist, regardless of the small detail that our shiny startup, did not and, if I understood the plan correctly, never would offer a useful product or service of any kind.

“I know.  I get it.  Our assets aren’t liquid.  We invest and we re-invest, we grow and we leverage our growth to expand our scale.”  I was the CFO.  It was my five-year plan.  The five-year-plan would turn into a ten year plan into a thirty-year-plan, once Orson had figured out the endgame.  The plans were mine but the endgame was his, and whenever I tried to talk to him about the endgame, he told me it was evolving.   Knowing that we had a future, however vague, was reassuring, but it was hard to think so far ahead all the time. “I’m not talking about five years from now, or once we get it all figured out.  We get to pay ourselves, and just once I’d like to pay ourselves enough to spend a week on a private beach sipping cocktails with umbrellas in them.”

Orson finally looked at me. He didn’t drink alcohol, though he basically never got judgmental when I did; he even liked having somebody who would taste whatever expensive whiskey or personal-branded tequila some potential investor wanted to impress us with.  “They can put an umbrella in a vegan smoothie for you, I promise.”  

That wasn’t it.  “You’ve never said you wanted something like that before,” he said.  “Do you think it would make you happy?”

I felt foolish.  I had given absolutely no thought to private beaches or fancy drinks before the words came out of my mouth. We’d lived in California for six months and driven to look at the Pacific Ocean exactly once.  It just popped in my head when I was trying to think of the kind of thing that people did when they had money and time.  “I guess not.”  I pulled my hoodie over my face.  “Never mind me.”

And he didn’t mind me, just looked back at the computer.  “What do you think Alliance for Healthy Kids does?  It’s like ten million dollars to get Nickelodeon stars to make ads telling kids to eat celery instead of potato chips.  Tell me that’s any less of a fucking scam than what we do.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty dumb.”  He didn’t notice me rocking on the couch, pulling my knees toward my chest, thinking that of course he was right, a vacation wasn’t going to make me happy.  I was supposed to be happy here, on the sun-soaked West Coast, making money with the man I loved.  We had all the sex we wanted, whenever we wanted, perfected each other’s schemes, finished each other’s sentences.  If I wasn’t happy here, what was there?

[sleepy-truper]

"Sorry I'm a bit awkward (◞‸◟ㆀ) but like I need to ask you something"

"Before that tho I just need to say I was scrolling through the köing tag and found you and like GOD DAMN your art is edible!!!! Like you draw köing so pretty!??!!?(koing + cat is just adorable) And so I wonder if I could ask like, how did you learn to draw? Maybe where, when, even why(I hope it doesn't come off as offensive Im just curious ^^') and if you don't mind like advice or yk a tips and tricks type of stuff. Idk man like the thing that I love the most is probably the line weight like it's so good?? There's a lot of other stuff but I ain't gonna ramble (this person spent too much time watching art videos instead of actually drawing) Alr thats about it!

Uh idk how to end this off so like if you respond to this then ty ^^ it's fine too if you don't!!"

(im scared to mess it up, it's my first submission and I don't know how to reply SOS)

When I read it my face was all like 🥺 it's so sweet! I'm so happy you like my artwork so much. 😊 (finally logged on my phone and can use emojis, how fun is this?)

As for your question when, how and why I started ro draw, I begun my hobby when I was very little, carefully drawing Disney Princesses from my crayon box :)! I've been drawing for about 14 years (as long as I can remember) and why, I guess it soothes me? The idea of being creative and making my fantasies come true on the paper/screen is so great.

My advice for you (as requested) is to keep going no matter what! Practice is the only way you can improve, be it with or without tutorials. The way I see it, you can't go back in art. Once you develop a skill and you keep on polishing it, you'll achieve what you've always dreamed of.

Small tips and tricks from me? Put on a fun playlist, find a brush that suits you best and try drawing on one layer, slowly erasing unnecessary, messy lines and adding smoother ones. Keep playing with values by adding shadows and texture (random lines on clothing, for example) and in general, have fun!❤️

Once again thank you for such kind words, it made my day sweetheart🥺

[arithmeticanimaniac]

tag someone you want to know better

tagged by @romanceyourdemons

favorite color: bright pink (also any happy color)

last song: the last song i deliberately played was either “Almost Like Being in Love” by Nat King Cole or “September in the Rain” by Dinah Washington, but the last song that came up on shuffle was “Juliet” by LMNT

last movie: either around the world in 80 days (2004) or inception (2010)

currently watching: the last season of archer (2009)

other stuff i watched this year: lmao i actually have a lot of half baked reviews in my drafts but i never posted them because i’m almost always at my queue limit so here’s my chance to do a rapid fire round of reviews (based entirely on whether i enjoyed them)

how to marry a millionaire (1953) 👍 too many people forget what a comedic genius marilyn monroe was

Love Sarah (2020) 👍 🥲 a bakery, romance, grief and healing, intergenerational bonding, what more could you want

My man Godfrey (1936) 👎 boring

bringing up baby (1938) 👎 it has its moments, blueprint for disney channel show shenanigans

memories of the sword (2015) 👍 sooooo melodramatic

The Dig (2018) 👍 haunting

the misfits (2021) 👍 it is Not Good, but inexplicably charming

Free guy (2021) 👍 responsible for the resurgence of mariah carey in my playlist

Papillon (2017) 🤷🏻‍♀️ hard to get through but not bad

Chungking Express (1994) 👍 i’m not usually an atmospheric film type, but wow

The Lost City (2022) 👍 i had fun

The French dispatch (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ tried watching this multiple times, fell asleep each time but the fact that i tried multiple times means it goes on this list

most of the movies in the DCAMU (2013-2020) 👍 i saw a gif from Teen Titans: the Judas contract (2017) which led me to watch 11 of these 16 movies lmao curse you tumblr

Blue crush (2002) 👎

the Batman (2022) 👎

Lost in the stars (2022) 👍 the whole thing could’ve been avoided if (spoilers) were lesbian, but anyways it made me want to visit hainan and shanghai

Dumplings (2004) 👍 i mean i can’t eat dumplings anymore without gagging but

the burning sea (2021) 🤷🏻‍♀️ i remember laughing at the cheesiness (idk how accurately they translated from norwegian), but solid disaster movie

alive (2020) 👍 korean filmmakers really know zombies, but mix in quarantine era

Palm Springs (2020) 👍 went into this blind expecting white lotus lol (very much not white lotus)

The babysitter: killer queen (2020) 👍 i can only do horror if it’s campy horror

the menu (2022) 👎 well made movie, not for me

blockers (2018) 👍

joy ride (2023) 👍

Spider-Man: across the spider-verse (2023) 👍

king arthur: legend of the sword (2017) 👍 i don’t care i enjoyed its ridiculousness

Austenland (2013) 👍 it’s so bad!! i laughed, i cringed, i awww’ed

the tuxedo (2002) 🤷🏻‍♀️ better enjoyed in highlight clips

Matilda the musical (2022) 👎 if i hadn’t seen the danny devito version i might have enjoyed this

heathers the musical (2022) 👎 the off bway actors were better

Mayhem (2017) 👍 samara weaving and steven yeun! another movie apollo threw a covid dodgeball at

Charlie Chan at the wax museum (1940) 🤷🏻‍♀️ could’ve been good, hard to watch with the yellowface and racism

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) 👍

shows i dropped this year/didn’t finish: justified (2010), killing eve (2018) , gannibal (2022), beef (2023), doom patrol (2019)

currently reading: bel canto, but mainly just a lot of medical articles

currently working on: finding a new job because hellooooo 2 year itch

current obsession: ok so if you look at english language sources, most say that pregnant onions are toxic and therefore not edible. however, the medicinal value of pregnant onions is apparently not uncommon knowledge in other cultures (fuck yeah china and south africa). so a family friend gave us a few mature plants that make into soup and i picked off the little seedlings and have been tending to them. that led to spending more time tending to my other plants (i have a lot more loquat trees than i remember) and now i’m trying to air layer some stuff. TLDR; gardening

tagging anyone who wants to do this :)

[alwastakenofc]

RANT INCOMING.

WOWIE ZOWIE it’s a good thing that tumblr keeps u logged in for FOREVER bc i would NOT have remembered that this was my username LMFAOOOO.

anyways !!! i’m just here to rant now to see if it’ll still help me like it used to. just scrolled thru all my personal tagged posts and MAN was i going thru it from 2013-2016 LOL. im glad life is better now. different, but better. me and that guy that i posted abt a lot and would rant abt how he was hanging with that girl all the time broke up in 2016 THANK GOD, that was a sick and toxic and abusive relationship that went way longer than it needed to. i moved back home with my parents and got a few years with both of them before they passed away from different circumstances (fuck alcoholism and fuck cancer). now i live with my roomie/friend and she evicted the other roomie we had that was Toxic As Fuck and a literal Man Child so WAHOO! it’s been nice.

i’m going back to college this year i think, and im both so excited and also Terrified to finish. i only have 1-2 semesters left and then i gotta go get an actual CAREER.

being famous never took off, as expected LMFAO. i don’t stream to get popular anymore, it’s just a genuine hobby i enjoy that gives me an excuse to keep playing video games and having fun. but i don’t mind not having a genuine job off of it anymore; probably should’ve attempted streaming when i was posting abt it so much a decade ago, Honestly Probably Would have taken off a bit more and actually had a chance to make money off it BUT alas, i was too lazy and worried abt public perceptions lmfao

i still have that worry abt public perception especially since i now identify as non-binary (she/they). i wish to be perceived as an amorphous blob that moseys through life, ya know? i only keep the “she/her” pronouns bc a) i’m not fully out to Everyone, and b) i just know some ppl are more used to it and i Do Not mind. i would honestly probably say i don’t prefer ANY pronouns, call me he/she/they i just do Not care, but finding ppl that would reference me as “he” while being respectful just is daunting to think abt and i do not care enough, just call me whatever. but don’t perceive me as a woman exclusively ya know LOL. i don’t identify as a woman or man, i have more feminine days and more masculine days but calling myself a woman sincerely just feels … icky and weird LOL idk like i said. AMORPHOUS BLOB SQUAD, RISE! idk how else to explain it LMAO

also discovered asexuality is a thing like 6-7 years ago which has been LIFE CHANGING !! being told you are broken by ur partner for years, being made to feel like something is Wrong with you because you don’t get why everyone is All About Sex and why tf everyone actually Enjoys Sex…. MANNNNN when i discovered asexuality i don’t think ive ever had a moment in my life where i just said “oh my GOD. it’s ME. i GET MYSELF NOW.” (until i fully understood and embraced being nb about 2 years later lmao). idk i just feel so much more confident in myself and it’s great.

hmmmm what else… i guess i had a stint of struggling with alcohol and weed, but have managed to cut it back. currently on week 2 of no smoking, gonna go a couple more weeks then maybe i’ll buy a pen and edibles. NO MORE DABS! wax just Annihilated my tolerance and not even smoking 3 full joints or eating 250mg of edibles could get me high. it was BAD. but that’s what happens when u do Multiple dabs a day, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 5+ years !! sooooooo that’s a thing too now. i try to Only drink on weekends now (and only 2 weekends per month, instead of Every weekend, is the new goal) and know i can’t trust myself to buy alcohol on a weekday and hold it to the weekend, which honestly Go Me for that self reflection and understanding that my brain doesn’t have the ability to Not drink alcohol/do shots if it’s in my fridge lol. well, not yet at least. maybe in a couple months i’ll be able to put some vodka in my fridge on a tuesday and be able to keep it there til the weekend without touching it, but for now i still don’t fully trust myself.

BUT! i’m trying to be healthy! i did get a treadmill and jump rope and even tho ive been neglecting jumping rope (maybe i will today idk maybe not LOL) i do still try to walk on my treadmill at least every other day!! i did a mile walk today and i was So Sweaty lol it’s crazy how outta shape i am but im hoping that cutting down on weed and alcohol helps with that too overall. i miss having abs. i miss not being flabby. i have awful body dysmorphia already bc of my boobs and getting bigger has made Them bigger too and it just makes me feel Horrified when i see myself in the mirror. or see my stomach, or double chin, or jiggly arms, or WHATEVER. i just need to be healthy again UGH. anyways.

MANNNNNNNNN i’m so scared of college LOL. i’m not double majoring anymore (also not even in art college anymore HELLO lmao, i dropped out of art school and got my associates degree from community college then transferred to a university where i was originally double majoring in International Relations and Japanese)! i just am gonna drop my Japanese major down to a minor so i still at least know Some Japanese. and ill study on my own post graduation (I HOPE!!!!!) and get better. i took a 2 year break when my mom died and its just so Daunting to think of going back LOL

i really, really… REALLY need to get better with procrastination and laziness and being at a standstill/comfortable. like, i KNOW there’s more to life but i just. UGH. idk. it’s so Hard after everything that’s happened these last few years. if i didn’t lose my dad in 2018 then my mom in 2022 i think it would be a lot better. HELL, if i didn’t lose my mom to cancer in 2022 things would be SOOOOOO different!! i would’ve probably graduated with my double major and had a kickass job and my mom would’ve seen me walk the stage UGHHHHHHHH ill never forget how i lit said “you prolly won’t see me get married but you gotta stick around to watch me walk the stage” and she said “WHERE ELSE WOULD I GO????” and IDK I JUST WISH I NEVER JINXED IT UGHHHHH. i have a lot of unaddressed trauma from both my parents’ deaths that im sure therapy would definitely help with but FOR NOW, i just gotta get thru college and see wtf is waiting for me on the other side.

ALLLLLRIGHT well this went on a LOT longer than i expected and …… idk if it helped??? idk if i feel any better after typing it all out but MEHHHHHHH. it’s nice to just throw it all out into the ether and not have a ton of questions or assumptions or embarrassment or shame come from feeling like im taking up space. i think that’s been the biggest thing ive struggled with since my mom died; i can’t even post my random thoughts on twitter anymore bc the anxiety of “well who even cares, who would even care about you saying anything, why would you even post at all? what’s the point?” just gets SO damn overwhelming. ive become a COMPLETE recluse and i haven’t done ANYTHING like this rant in at Least half a decade LOL. so. idk.

typing this all out therapeutic in a way but again, i just feel kinda anxious at the same time and idk if it’s really helped me out overall. bc why does anyone care? what’s the point?… but also WHY do i feel like People Need To Care ?!?! why can’t i just go back to my old mindset where i did not give a single fuck about what i posted bc i just liked throwing my thoughts out for everyone to read?!?! idk. maybe tumblr is gonna be the bridge to help me get better with voicing random mundane thoughts that don’t matter in the long run LOL. bc WHY is that so scary to me, man….

ANYWAYS i’m done okay. wowie. what a rant. PHEW.

hope u enjoyed reading about my last 6-7 years 😎

[abrthephantomq]

how cas gives me the next update of an encoder Zim chapter. a random Tumblr post I have to go digging for and a screenshot the tags for bc the tags are actually the really important story beats I have to pay attention to

so like

that whole we're a did system thing?

oh yeah no we really are a system -- sorry, I know how that shit sounds. we're in the middle of a re-org rn.

andrew is now the Executive Function

which means he dictates my writing schedule and his only rule is, "do you want to write right now?"

and if the answer is eh

he has cas like

just sit there and come up with all of these different potential storylines and leave me notes that I have to fucking decipher like code bc he wrote it while we were PEAKING (because that's the only way he wants to come up with the ideas he'd like to see me write -- whether it'll come out as how he planned it / wants it to -- but it's more of yes, and - type situation. he completely pants it, knows what themes and stuff I write, knows that I like for the characters to sound like the characters,

and he's who I RP with internally (the Zim to my dib)

i'm still high (lol) or well -- okay. we're not tripping anymore, we're high on an edible -- not even a whole one. idk what it is with this industrial weed man but it's ridiculous.

You know what, IZ fandom

I had a thought

Zim isn't like, a space bug.

Zim's a space bug AI. His personality is preprogrammed into his pak and we all know that and that he's defective, etc etc.

So if he's AI, would the fact that he's truly a sentient being be the result of a computer virus?

....what if Dib was defective, too?

[possum-tooth]

happy wednesday i cannot wait until friday ~9p <3

[honeytae]

We’re never going to hear the end of this.

welcome back to another episode of kenna losing her shit over taehyung :) while imagining this scenario, i admittedly got very carried away. the word count is way higher than i anticipated and um..yeah i apologize in advance. when it comes to taehyung i just have zero self control and this is a great example. anyways, uh...if smut isn’t your thing, this might not be your cup of tea. otherwise, enjoy lol.

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy

genre: smut

warnings: oral sex, sex without a condom (i cannot stress this enough: ALWAYS USE A CONDOM, THIS SHIT IS FICTION), semi-public sex? idk, i mean they can be heard but not seen, so...

word count: 6.5k (yeesh sorry)

Walking into the elevator of the lobby, you scoffed down at your phone as it vibrated in your hand, swiping your thumb across the screen and pressing it to your ear.

“I told you I was coming with the food, didn’t I? And what was that? Five minutes ago?” You asked into the phone immediately, Taehyung chuckling on the other end, goosebumps raising on your arms at the sound.

“Is the food what's delaying you? I miss you, fuck the food.” He groaned, making you laugh as you pressed the button displaying the digit of the floor of Taehyung’s studio with the pointer finger of your hand that was clutching the long awaited bag of food.

“Hey! I happen to be starving with a bag of Panda in my hand right now, I could eat everything before I get up there.” You threatened, the scent of the chicken and vegetables already tempting you as you tapped your foot impatiently at the elevator.

It’s the 21st century, and this is the quickest you can get up a floor?

“All I heard was Panda and that you’re here. Are you here?” He asked excitedly, jumping up from his chair and taking quick strides toward the door of the studio. 

“I’m getting off the elevator right now-”

It was then that you - saw more than heard - Taehyung bounding down the hall, jogging down the long corridor past the closed doors of offices as he made his way toward you. He had a wide smile on his face, eyes closed and his hair bouncing with each stride he took as he approached you. 

“Oh my god, Tae. You don’t even have shoes on.” You lightly scolded him, wrapping your arms around him as he did the same to you. You felt the stress from your day seep out of your body at his touch, his arms holding you to him in a hug as he kissed the side of your head.

“I missed you.” He pulled his head back to look at you, both of your heads tilting in accordance to each other as your lips met halfway.

Pulling back to lean his forehead against your own, he smiled as you jokingly crossed your eyes to keep them on him in the close proximity. 

“I really did miss you.” He insisted, holding you tight with his arms wrapped around your torso as he began walking you backward, presumably to the door of his studio. 

The walk was more of a waddle as he exaggerated his steps over to the side to avoid crushing your feet, guiding you backwards as you blindly followed his lead.

“So I’ve heard. May I remind you that we woke up together this morning?” You smiled at the memory of getting up and making breakfast with Taehyung, both of you trying to help each other prepare something edible before eventually giving up and driving to a nearby cafe. 

Neither of you could cook to save your lives, but at least you were able to make it a fun experience, both of you able to laugh at yourselves and your less than decent culinary skills.

“It wasn’t long enough. It’s never long enough with you.” He admitted softly, head diving down to rest his temple on your shoulder, tenderly kissing the side of your neck with a soft pucker of his lips. 

“Well, I’m here now. And I have Panda.” You repeated, causing the man to lift his face at the sudden memory of the food in your hand.

Holding the brown paper bag up between your faces, you giggled as Taehyung moaned at the scent wafting from it. He smiled, turning around with you still in his arms, backing himself toward the door as you finally reached the room.

You chuckled as Taehyung’s back collided with the locked door, having automatically shut when he had left the room running. He stubbornly rutted his back against the door in hopes that it would budge, sighing in disappointment when it didn’t.

“Code, Tae.” You reminded him, Taehyung’s head a mere few inches from the keypad as he smirked to himself.

“You know it.” He said smugly, laughing when you turned around to glare at him.

“I’m not supposed to-” 

“Just put it in, woman!”

You giggled at him, punching in the sequence of digits with your pointer finger until the beep of the door signified you could enter, Taehyung pushing back on it with his body to let you both enter the room. 

Pausing at the door once inside, he let your body go to allow you to slip your shoes off, no longer needing a reminder of his “no shoes” rule as you entered his workspace.

He wordlessly led you past the monitors on his desk, guiding you back to the sofa at the far end of the room before taking a seat, you doing the same beside him.

You quickly removed the takeout boxes from the bag, setting them out on the low table in front of you so that he could choose what he wanted. You thanked him as he handed you a pair of chopsticks, eagerly digging into the carton of fried rice with the utensils and letting out a satisfied hum.

“How are you doing here?” You asked, the question muffled with the amount of food in your mouth as Taehyung shrugged in response, grabbing the white box of chicken and shoveling a piece into his mouth as he moved his head from side to side in thought. 

“I’m alright. I was finishing up a song but then I got hungry and,” He nodded his head to point to the food, you smiling in response as you nodded at the recollection of his text message to you just over a half hour ago.

You continued talking about each other’s days so far, Taehyung scoffing at the stories about your asshole coworkers and you advising him on lyrics he wasn’t entirely sure about. 

When you were finished, you sat back with a sigh, Taehyung smiling at you before standing to clear the table of the empty boxes scattered on it. 

“Ugh, I’m stuffed now.” You groaned, crossing your arms over your stomach as you tipped your head back to rest on the cushions on the end of the couch. 

“Can you stay?” He asked with wide eyes, a pleading pout on his lips that spread to a wide smile when you nodded in confirmation. 

“If you want me to. I’m off work the rest of the day so,” You trailed off, Taehyung nodding eagerly as he watched you lean back on the sofa. 

You watched as he rounded the couch, standing at the back of it to look down at you as you reclined on the cushions.

“Stay with me.” He clutched your hands in his, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout as you chuckled at him. You smiled, caving immediately to your boyfriend’s puppy eyed look as you played with the rings on his fingers.

“I will. But you have to work. I don’t want to be distracting.” You reminded him, Taehyung nodding again as he prepared to head back to work. 

Watching as he walked back to his desk chair, neck craning side to side in order to stretch his burning muscles from his long periods of work, you sighed, relaxing back into the pillows behind you.

You smiled when the room became filled with the sounds of your boyfriend humming unrecognizable tunes, figuring that they were most likely new melodies he had composed in his days here. 

As he worked, you occupied yourself by picking up your phone and meaninglessly scrolling through your social media, satisfied with the clicking of Taehyung’s mouse on his desk in the otherwise silent room.

That feeling only lasted for a bit, though, as complete silence soon took over once again and you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks as his eyes shifted back to you. 

After being with him for so long, you did not need to look over at him to know that his focus was now on you instead of the track laid out on the computer in front of him.

“You know, it’s odd. I have this weird suspicion that you’re not working over there.” You said without looking up from your phone, catching your boyfriend off guard as he chuckled breathily behind his hand. 

“I am, though. You’re my inspiration.” He defended himself, raising his brows in honesty as your fingers stopped scrolling down your screen. 

Your eyes shifted from the device in your hand to the man a couple of feet away from you, immediately melting under his loving gaze.

“I think I just drafted three albums worth of songs in my head. And every single one of them is about you.” He informed you, making tears blur your vision instantly at the sweet and honest words leaving his mouth. 

His body became less and less defined as your emotions took over, hearing Taehyung’s soft laugh before an audible coo left his mouth, his blurred figure quickly making its way over to you before he sat beside you on the couch again.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, smiling adoringly at you as his other hand pulled your body into his. Small soothing phrases left his mouth as he pressed kisses against the side of your head, placing his forehead to your temple as he dropped more kisses against your wet cheek.

“Fuck, Tae. You can’t say sweet shit like that to me and expect me to keep it together.” You let out a watery laugh, sniffling as you buried your face into his chest, him easily welcoming the action with a hand securing the back of your head to his shirt.

“I love you.” You whimpered into his chest, picking your head up and placing your chin on his shirt to look up at him. You admired the soft smile on his face, eyes swirling with emotion that made you feel so loved. 

Slipping his hand underneath your chin, he smiled as you shifted yourself higher up on his body to connect your lips. The action was sweet, tender. His thumb gently swiped at your chin as he held you to him, turning you into a puddle at the simple touch.

“I love you so much.” He mumbled into your mouth, pressing gentle kisses to your bottom lip repeatedly until you held his jaw in place to kiss him deeper. 

Taehyung lowered his back to lay down on the sofa, you following him with your lips still connected. His hand went to the back of your thigh, squeezing the flesh appreciatively and grinding his pelvis up against yours.

You hummed in acknowledgement at the movement, pushing him up off of your body with a slight push of your palms to his chest. Smoothing the pad of your thumb over the tail of his eyebrow affectionately, you internally debated stopping now or continuing to inevitable activities if you didn’t.

“This was supposed to be an innocent visit.” You said breathlessly, looking into your boyfriend’s blown out pupils as he chuckled. The man looked off to the side in thought, tracing your bottom lip and swiping at the smooth skin with the pad of his thumb as he focused his attention back on you.

“When is it ever?” He smirked, making you roll your eyes before smashing your lips back onto his. Fuck it.

You buried your hands into his hair, holding him to you as your tongues met, your movements slow as you lost yourselves in each other. 

You relished in the hitch of breath in his throat when you trailed your hand down his chest and abdomen, fingers hooking underneath his sweater and grabbing the chunky fabric, lifting it up to his belly button before he seemed to get the hint. 

He sat up slightly to lift the clothing over his head, shifting his hips up against your crotch in the process and making you let out a sharp whine at the sudden friction between your legs.

Taehyung smirked at the noise, tossing his sweater to the ground before grabbing your hips with his now free hands and rolling them down against his growing bulge once again. 

“Fuck, Tae.” You collapsed against his chest, looping your arms around his neck and breathing heavily against the bare skin of his sternum as his hands greedily groped at your ass. 

He continued his actions, thrusting up into your hips occasionally as you moved on him and thoroughly enjoying the shocked gasps that came out of your mouth whenever he did so. 

His eyes stayed on you as your face contorted in overwhelmed pleasure, the sudden realization that you had way too much fabric hiding you from him momentarily bringing him back to earth.

“Take your shirt off.” He commanded breathily, the continued grinding motion of your hips together making him pant as you obliged him, sitting up and lifting your shirt up over your head. You were left in your bra and jeans as you set your upper half back down onto his chest, lips colliding once again as he swiped his tongue across your lip.

His hand lifted to squeeze your breast over the cup of your bra, the appreciative touch eliciting a low sound from the back of your throat as you pulled back, watching as his lust-blown pupils studied your body appreciatively.

His eyes followed your hand as it landed on his chest, your palm sliding down to the fabric of his pants as he subtly thrusted his crotch up toward your hand. 

You smiled at his silent ask, moving your hand down farther to rest over the bulge growing steadily underneath your touch.

“Can I?” You asked simply, Taehyung eagerly nodding at your insinuation, the thought of you doing anything riling him up even more as your hand momentarily left the spot. 

You shifted off of him and slid your body off the couch, landing with your knees on the ground and smiling slightly as you watchrd him hastily unbuttoning his pants.

You met his hands with the bunched fabric at his mid thigh with your own, quickly pushing them down his legs farther until they were gathered past his ankles.

You could clearly see the outline of his erection through his boxers, practically drooling at the image of the man in front of you.

His knees were spread to give you easy access, head relaxed against the back of the couch as his eyes followed your every move. His bottom lip was sucked into his mouth, anticipating what was to come as you pulled his underwear down his legs.

You didn’t hesitate to wrap your hand around his base, pumping up and down slowly to tease the man, knowing you’d succeeded when he scrunched his eyes and bucked his hips up in search for more. 

Tightening your hand around his shaft, you quickened your pace, Taehyung puffing his cheeks up in an inhale before breathing it out shakily. He began nodding vigorously, making you giggle slightly at the bobbling of his head as you continued pumping him in your hand.

“Fuck, yeah. Good.” He babbled, words slurred together and ending in a grunt as your lips gently kissed his sensitive tip.

His legs jolted under you when you flattened your tongue on the underside of his cock, licking a path up to the precum bubbling out at the top and humming at the familiar salty-sweet flavor of his arousal.

Taehyung buried his hands in your hair as you finally put your mouth on him, sucking at the head of his cock and delivering kitten licks to his tip that made his eyes roll back into his head. You basked in the sounds he made as you took more of his cock into your mouth, gasps and moans and praises falling from his lips as he watched you take more of him.

Sinking your mouth down to welcome him in farther, your cheeks hollowed to suck him tightly, Taehyung making incoherent noises that resembled curse words at the action. He subtly thrusted his hips up, making you cough at the sudden action, immediately snapping him out of his trance as he leaned up off of the sofa to check on you. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. You okay?” He asked in concern, hand coming to rest on the back of your head as waited for an answer to his question.

Instead of verbally answering him, you only began bobbing your head on him once again, taking more of him each time until the head of his cock nudged at the back of your throat.

His legs trembled at the sudden action, cursing before falling back onto the couch, having assured that you were perfectly fine and fucking fantastic at giving head.

“Fuck, I wanna see you.” He said desperately, sitting up slightly to push his fingers through your hair, pushing the strands out of your face for a better view.

His dark hooded eyes met yours as you looked up at him through your lashes, deep moans reverberating from his chest and filling the studio at the filthy image you’d just given him.

“God, you’re so hot. So good at this.” He praised you, eyes squinting shut as you continued sinking your mouth down the inches of his length. 

You smirked as you swallowed around him, effectively squeezing his dick with your throat and causing Taehyung to lose all composure as his eyes rolled back into his head. The strong reaction made you smirk, doing it a second time to achieve the ruined look on his face once again.

“Baby! Oh, sh-shit.” He gasped, fingers tugging at your hair and eliciting a moan from you. His jaw dropped further at the vibration, his head falling back so that he was facing the ceiling as he groaned loudly.

“I’m gonna cum, babe.” He warned you, you humming around him in response as you lifted your mouth up his length, bringing it back down and repeating the action with his increasingly loud moans spurring you on.

You could see his chest’s rising and falling quicken when you picked up your speed, moving faster on his cock to ensure he hit his high. The sight made you internally pat yourself on the back, proud that you could wreck him so easily.

“Ugh, god.” He groaned, blindly tracing his hands over his lap to find your own, your heart thudding harder against your chest at the sweet action.

Wordlessly, you detached your hands from his thighs, intercepting his own larger pair and locking your fingers together. Taehyung squeezed as he finished, his hot release shooting down your throat with a loud moan as he gently thrusted into the heat of your mouth.

You popped off of him with a grin, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as Taehyung was left exhausted and breathless on the couch. His eyes were shut, desperately trying to recover as his thighs still slightly trembled with aftershocks from his orgasm.

“C’mere.” He bent his fingers to gesture you to come back up on the couch with him, you standing and kneeling on the sofa, immediately being pulled onto his lap with one of his arms locked around your waist. 

“You’re gonna drive me fucking crazy.” He chuckled, you giggling back at him before being cut off as his lips caught yours. 

You mewled as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, nibbling on it gently before pushing his tongue inside of your mouth. You let him explore freely, shuddering when his hot tongue swirled around your own.

He made his point clear that you were both not finished as he kissed you deeper, you kissing him back with just as much force as you held his jaw in your hands.

He made it especially clear when his warm palms traveled up your back, caressing the skin and hooking his finger underneath the back of your bra.

“I don’t know why this is still on.” He complained, shifting the clasps out of their hooks and pulling the straps down from your shoulders to your forearms.

You giggled as you straightened your back, pushing yourself off of his chest to sit up and let your bra fall to the ground, finally letting your breasts free from the constraint.

The sight of your breasts made a quiet moan rise out of Taehyung’s mouth, his hands grabbing at the flesh immediately and rubbing at your nipples with his thumbs. 

Leaning forward so his face was down at your chest, he opened his mouth to suck on the pink skin underneath his finger.

The action caused you to whine as you tucked your chin into your neck to watch him, arching your back and pushing your chest into his mouth in a subtle gesture for more.

With a proud smirk, Taehyung removed his hand and flattened his tongue against your nipple, taking it into his mouth and suckling at it diligently. 

Whimpering his name, your hand went to the back of his head, stationing his mouth on you as he closed his teeth on it in a gentle bite.

“Mmf, Tae.” You bit your lip, his actions causing more arousal to pool in your panties and most likely ruining the fabric as it was now undoubtedly soaked through.

Taehyung’s hand trailed down your side, resting on your ass and squeezing lightly before sliding you up his stomach, you letting a breathy moan escape as the move caused the seam of your jeans to press harder into your clit.

With your breasts swinging above his face, he could easily pick his head up to encase your other nipple into his mouth, tongue flicking at the hardened nub before sucking a bruise into the pink skin.

You absentmindedly began rocking your hips on his abdomen, moaning and tipping your head back at the friction as his mouth focused on your other breast.

Taehyung hummed as he noticed your movements on him, placing his hands on your hips to guide their rocking motion. You put your face down beside his head, turning toward him to bury your moans in his hair.

Unable to hold himself back anymore, he let his hands trail down your body, fingers desperately pushing at the waistline of your pants. He cursed when he remembered the jeans you’d worn when you walked in, fumbling his fingers around your waist in search of the buttons.

“Off, off, off.” He mumbled, popping the buttons of your jeans and tugging the zipper down as you chuckled at his hands desperately pushing the material down off of your hips.

You helped him push the denim down your legs, shoving them off your ankles with his assistance as his fingers tugged at the tight fabric. 

“Your ass looks so good in these, it’s almost a shame to take them off.” He chuckled to himself, breathing out a sigh of relief when your pants finally hit the ground. 

Reaching his hand between your legs, Taehyung hummed in approval at the dampness of your underwear, pressing his fingertips onto your clit through the fabric and effectively making you whimper as you dropped your head to his shoulder.

Instead of applying more pressure, all he did was keep his fingers there, unmoving and teasing you as he gave you nothing.

“Tae, m-more.” You whined pathetically, swiveling your hips to get more stimulation from the pads of his fingers. 

“What do you want, baby?” He asked teasingly, eyebrow arched cockily as he observed your flustered state. 

“I want your fingers. Or your mouth. Anything, just please.” You whimpered, thrusting your hips forcefully in another attempt for pleasure. 

Taehyung smirked then nodded, seemingly pleased with your begging as he maneuvered to lay flat on his back, pulling you with him to sit atop his hips. 

“Come up here.” He pulled at your arm, you furrowing your brows with a confused quirk of your lips but following his guidance anyway. 

You allowed him to position your hips above his face, slowly getting the idea of what he was doing, kneeling above his mouth as his hands kept you there. Your brows raised in curiosity as he smiled up at you, his fingers caressing the warm skin of your thighs soothingly. 

“What are you planning?” You asked with a chuckle, Taehyung laughing in response before tucking his hand underneath the side of your underwear, making you whine as he only kept his hand close to where you needed him most with no signs of moving.

A ripping sound suddenly filled the room, cool air hitting your crotch as you gasped at your boyfriend between your legs, his hand holding up the now torn fabric of your underwear.

“Taehyung!” You scolded in disbelief, jaw dropped as the man giggled beneath you. 

“They were in the way!” He laughed, you cracking a smile as you shook your head at him before looking at the ripped fabric in mourning. 

Turning his head to press his lips to the inside of your thigh, he trailed them up to your wet core, kissing you directly on your folds before glancing up at you once again.

“I’ll buy you new ones, baby. Promise.”

You didn’t even register his words as you only felt his breath ghost over your lower lips, head already spinning with the little amount of contact he had given you.

Taehyung noticed the way you bit your lip, your eyes fluttering shut as he continued to purposely breathe out of his mouth and onto the area between your legs. 

Hooking his arms underneath your thighs, he guided your hips down onto his mouth, holding you there as his tongue immediately dove between your folds, licking a straight line up from your entrance to your clit.

“Tae!” You cried out as he sucked the swollen bud into his mouth, gripping onto the back of the couch with one hand for any sense of balance as he withdrew his mouth from your clit, moving his thumb up to replace where his tongue had been circling the button as he placed his mouth at your wet entrance instead.

Keeping his thumb rubbing at your bundle of nerves, he dipped his tongue inside of your entrance, you shuddering at the feeling as Taehyung smirked underneath you.

You whined at the all too quick removal of his tongue from you, only to have your body jerk reflexively at the feeling of the tip of it tracing around the tight ring of muscles before inserting it once again with a satisfied groan rumbling from his chest.

You whimpered at the sudden feeling, the fire in the pit of your stomach building with each languid lick of his tongue into your entrance.

“Oh, god, not gonna last, baby.” You warned shakily, Taehyung holding your trembling legs to steady them as you felt a snapping in the bottom of your abdomen, Taehyung lapping up your release with flattened stripes of his tongue around your entrance. 

Opening your eyes once the dizzy feeling in your head had faded, you glanced down at him, almost whining at the vision of him licking his lips. His hair was disheveled, his eyes almost black with desire.

With trembling thighs and weak knees, you began scaling down his body, Taehyung assisting you with his hands gripping your sides as you slowly crawled back down his frame so that you were face to face. 

“Shit.” You exhaled in exhaustion, Taehyung tugging you down onto his body with ease as your weak limbs caved into his touch.

Resting your cheek against his in a moment of quiet, you both tried to even out your breathing, Taehyung’s palm massaging your spine soothingly as you came down from your orgasm.

Lovingly, you nuzzled the tip of your nose against his, him smiling at the action before pursing his lips out for a kiss. You eagerly leaned into his mouth, hand resting on his bare shoulder and thumb lightly caressing his collarbone.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his lips, him repeating the sentiment back to you with a soft smile as he leaned back in to kiss you slowly.

“You alright?” He asked softly, eyebrows raised in question as he studied your facial expression.

You nodded in response, assuring him with the small gesture and heaving a small sigh as your lungs began to take air in normal amounts.

“I’m tired but I wanna have sex.” You pouted, smiling at Taehyung’s loud laugh at your words as he pushed your hair back behind your ear. 

He hummed in mock thought, eyes traveling up to the ceiling before dramatically raising a hand, pointer finger extended as if to gesture he had gotten an idea.

“I can do all the work.” He proposed, dropping his hand and smiling when you nodded again, flipping your bodies over to trade positions so that he was hovering on top of you, his hair slightly falling into his eyes.

Without looking down, you could tell he was ready to go again, his hard length resting on your stomach as you lightly chuckled. Taehyung lowered himself to rest on his elbows, cocking his head at your laughter but smiling nonetheless.

“How are you always so ready?” You asked, letting him into your thoughts as he teasingly looked down between his legs.

“You hold a certain power over me.” He shrugged as he looked back up to you, you scoffing at his words as he giggled childishly.

“What? It’s true!” He defended himself, you shaking your head before shutting him up by putting your mouth back on his. 

His hand subtly traveled down your abdomen, feeling you up appreciatively before landing on the sensitive button between your legs. 

The circling motion of his thumb on your clit along with the way he let his tongue explore your mouth freely had your core throbbing once again, hand gripping his hair and sharp gasps catching in your throat at his finger rubbing you in the way he knew got you ready for him.

Your tongues entangled as you reached down to push his hand away, instead pushing his hips toward your own to signal that no more foreplay was going to be needed. 

You both let out heavy breaths as the movement caused his hips to instinctively push forward, his length situated between your folds. You pulled back from his lips with a desperate whine, thrusting your hips again and eliciting a groan from him when his head entered you at the slight move.

“God, Tae, just fuck me already.” You begged, a whine from the back of your throat as you rocked your hips into his length.

His eyes visibly darkened again at your words, the bright innocence in them only a few minutes ago now gone and replaced by a darkened and lustful look as he properly lined his tip up with your entrance.

You felt your mouth drop in a silent moan as he entered you, providing immediate relief to your hormones with the sudden pleasure between your legs.

“Hmmf.” He hummed, dropping his forehead to your shoulder as he buried himself to the hilt, kissing the skin at the crook of your neck as you breathed out his name. 

You admired him as he tipped his head back, sighs and grunts coming out of his mouth as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. His Adams apple bobbed in his throat as he craned his neck backward, digging his elbows into the mattress below him with the effort he used to rut into you.

You experimentally clenched your muscles around him, causing him to gasp sharply as his mouth popped open, his eyes shut and eyebrows furrowed at the unexpected tightening.

“Fuck, don’t do that.” He half-heartedly scolded you, dropping his forehead to your shoulder as he began sucking on the skin of your neck.

You giggled at his reaction, Taehyung smiling at the noise as his hips momentarily stilled inside of you. He picked his head up from where it’d been resting, his expression dopey as you cupped his chin with your hand. 

You swiped the pad of your thumb against the plush skin of his cheek, his eyes softening at the affectionate touch before leaning down to capture your lips in a tender kiss.

He began slowly grinding himself into you in place of his thrusts, making you cry out as his pubic bone applied pressure to your neglected clit. 

Unable to deny his desires anymore, he started thrusting once again, pushing his hips into yours with grunts escaping his mouth as a punctuation to each of his hips movements.

“Faster, baby.” You whined, Taehyung moaning at the words before snapping his hips into yours faster, holding himself up with his forearms as he began to pick up the pace of his thrusts into you. 

You felt your eyes roll back into your head at the increasing pleasure, biting onto his shoulder to stop yourself from screaming out as you felt another orgasm pending in the pit of your stomach. 

Your boyfriend sucked in a hiss through his teeth at the stinging on the skin of his shoulder clamped between your teeth, dropping a soothing kiss to your cheek as he continued the pace he’d found to work for you both.

You released his shoulder from your mouth when his arms suddenly hooked under your knees, dropping his hands back to the couch cushions as he allowed you to take, instinctively locking them around his waist. 

You couldn’t help but cry out as he found the special spot buried within you, Taehyung’s switch of positions obviously intentional as your sound made a look of pride appear on his face. 

You bit down on your lip in an attempt to keep your noises to a lower volume as he continued with his intentional thrusts, him groaning at the way you unintentionally tightened around him in reaction to the way he kept tapping the spot with the head of his cock.

Taehyung dropped his head to your collarbone as you clenched around him once again, this time feeling your muscles tighten and spasm uncontrollably around him as you approached your high. 

Letting out desperate whines and moans, you blindly reached for the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair and guiding him up to your lips.

Without a word of communication between you, he placed his finger between your legs, rubbing at your clit harshly as your gasps turned into whines in his mouth, your pleasure increasing rapidly at the simple touch he was giving you.

“Cum with me.” He panted, hips stilling as your entrance clamped around him, holding him in a vice grip as you finished, his warm release filling you soon after as you pressed your lips to his.

The studio went quiet as you both came down from your second orgasms, bodies completely spent as Taehyung pulled himself out of you and cuddled up to your side. 

You welcomed him with an extended arm, his hair dampened with sweat as he laid his head down on your shoulder, cheek pressed to your skin as he pressed a soft kiss to the spot. You folded your arm to put your fingers in his hair, scratching at his scalp and smiling at the content hum coming from his mouth.

Everything was calm and silent until the sound of fists rapidly knocking against the studio door interrupted your moment, both you and Taehyung picking your heads up from the couch in curiosity.

He sighed at the disruption, squeezing his eyes shut to gather any and all patience he could as the knocking persisted at the door.

“If we ignore them, maybe they’ll go away.” He said quietly, keeping his voice down to a low volume with a small smile playing on his lips as you chuckled along with him.

“Taehyung-ah!” 

You recognized the voice immediately to be your boyfriend’s older friend Seokjin, wondering what he was doing outside and simultaneously praying that he hadn’t heard anything that had been going on in the room during your visit.

“What?” Taehyung called back, eyebrows scrunched in confusion as he awaited some kind of clue as to why his friend was standing on the other side of his studio.

“Did you see that meme I sent you?” 

Taehyung pressed his lips in a firm line, deciding to go with it for the sole intention of getting his dear friend out of the moment he’d unknowingly interrupted.

“Oh, yeah! That was a good one.” He lied, fake amusement in his words as you giggled into his hair. His hand squeezed at your torso as he smiled at your noises, eyes squinted at the ceiling as he strained to hear if Seokjin was still standing outside.

“I know! Jungkook was laughing so hard, I’m surprised you didn’t hear him.”

Both yours and Taehyung’s eyebrows shot up at that, looking at each other in a paused moment of shock before your boyfriend uncomfortably cleared his throat. 

There was just something about Jin’s tone that suddenly indicated that he may not have been as clueless as you thought he was about the situation. 

And it didn’t help that you could practically hear the smug smile on his face.

“Oh, um, I might’ve heard.” Taehyung lied again, you covering your mouth with your palm as you were both embarrassed at yourselves and trying to disguise your chuckling at his obvious lies.

“Mhm. Him and I are grabbing some lunch, you coming with?” He asked, staring at the black door as he awaited the answer he knew he’d get. 

In a way, Seokjin wished he would come with them, because he’d be able to see him squirm as they teased him about banging one out in his workspace for everyone else to hear. But he was not surprised when his friend answered negatively from the other side of the door.

“Uh, no. I’m alright, hyung.” Taehyung replied, Seokjin humming an “mhm” before saying goodbye, the sound of his footsteps getting quieter with the squeaky pitch of his giggles as the distance between his body and the door got bigger. 

“Fuck, he totally knew.” You let go of the breath you’d been holding, Taehyung chuckling lightly as he nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah, he knew something was up.” He confirmed, knowing his bandmate long enough to be able to decipher that his tone had been one of teasing.

“We’re never going to hear the end of this.” You sighed, Taehyung biting back a grin as he nodded once again. 

Honestly, he knew he’d get teased by his friends later on, as Jin had a big mouth and surely the rest of the group already knew about whatever he’d heard from outside of the room. 

But he couldn’t find it in him to care as he looked over at your body lying next to his, completely lovestruck as he traced his palm over your stomach.  

You raised your eyebrows at the mischievous look on his face, leaning into him as his hand trailed around your body and pressed to your back to bring you closer to his warm and slightly sweaty skin.

“Wanna go again?” He asked, laughing when your jaw dropped, smacking his shoulder lightly as he continued giggling at your facial expression.

“Taehyung!”

[lilyclawthorne]

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

[katsukissleepybean]

Karasuno's Second Years and how well they cook or bake HC's

Yū Nishinoya

• Bruh this man makes chicken nuggets thru a fucking microwave.

• It somehow tastes good I-

• Asahi and Suga, please teach him cuz..- I- jezus christ..

• DOnt let him near a kitchen.

• Let alone loan him a goddamn fork. He’s gonna pretend he’s Ariels dad, (I forgot his name lmao) or some kind of god, idk-

• Plss- he would burn everything-

• It’s a miracle that the kitchen didn’t burn down, let alone the house.

• Though he would possibly do okay if he is with someone else.

• Maybe not so much with Tanaka, we all know how that will end up as, but with Suga or something he would actually manage to make something edible..

• Nishinoya would make bang ass burritos tho hold on-

• Like- if he once just decides to be decent in the kitchen he could do wonders.

• Tacos all day.

• And then once he’s done and eaten them, he would praise himself.

• Then he heads over to Taco Bell and gets the same thing there and say its trashy compared to his so called ‘masterpiece’.

• And that be it.

• He might make some instant ramen but further he’s ordering food.

• Definitely caries a big bag of candy and what not.

• Suga scolds him for eating to much sweets and sometimes checks Noya’s bag to see if he didn’t carry too much for the day.

Ryūnosuke Tanaka

• Now-

• He straight up sucks at making food.

• Besides the food he absolutely adores..

• So uhm, you want some nachos? Some burritos to?

• It took him a while, but he can make melonpan now to.

• (with the help of Asahi-)

• He first tried to call Nishinoya for help but it wasn’t edible.

• So they ordered food instead lmao.

• Now, Tanaka lowkey adores burgers a bit too much.

• Everyone says that because they know it’s true, but Tanaka denies it.

• Cheeseburgers. Are. His. Fave.

• God he loves them so much lmao

• When the team are at some random restaurant, (Sorry but it’s canon to me that they once in a week hang out together after practice or something and go get food together)- Anyway

• When the team are out in a restaurant, Tanaka almost skips the other options and just choose a cheeseburger if its on the damned menu.

• Sometimes he takes something else..

• That’s only bcuz of Suga and Daichi telling him he’s being unhealthy and straight up tells him that if he takes a cheeseburger he wont be allowed in the gym for a week.

• Ofc Tanaka listens, he don’t want to miss practice, he doesn’t want to miss Kiyoko “observing” his moves.

Chikara Ennoshita

• The soft uncle of the team I swear.

• He doesn’t really cook.

• He can, he is a decent cook, but cooking is not his favorite thing to do.

• He just makes a simple sandwich and that be it you know?

• Though he once brought some extra for the team because they decided to study together.

• Mostly to educate Hinata, Kageyama, Tanaka and Nishinoya.

• But he brought some sandwiches he made along and the team loved them!

• So sometimes Chikara makes extra for the team, so they can eat after practice.

• Even though they will go and get meat-buns after. But the team have two teens (Noya and Tanaka) who could eat so much and still don’t feel full.

• Also- aa- He loves chocolate. And Suga ofc knows that.

• Chikara sometimes makes little thingies with strawberries for Suga while Suga makes little thingies with chocolate for Chikara.

• How cute-

• Further idk anything for him im sorry

Hisashi Kinoshita

• Aaa idk much ab him to be fair

• But I am going to try :D

• I think he would be an okay cook. But I’d like to think he bakes really well!

• I think he would enjoy baking pie’s and little cakes here and there.

• He would so make cake-rolls.

• Literally of every sweet flavor he could think of!

• Strawberry, chocolate, lemon, cinnamon- anything really and he would try it out.

• Im kinda getting stuck eee- idk what else-

• Maybe he would pass by the cooking club sometimes and bake with them. Yamaguchi recommended to do that. In fact, Yamaguchi was doing it for a while and randomly asked if Kinoshita would tag along someday. And now here they are.

• Kinoshita was nervous at first as he isn’t the most confident, but after a while he warmed up to the others and is now coming by the cooking club often.

Kazuhito Narita

• Uhhhhhhhhhh

• He seems like a guy that loves bread a lot lmaoo-

• He cooks great to be honest!

• Narita mostly makes little simple snacks though.

• Nothing too much.

• His baking is fine to

• He only bakes either cookies or muffins though, also nothing too much.

• He likes to decorate though.

• I think that he would decorate the sweets with little figures that would sort of represent the team.

• For example Daichi would be a little bear, while Tsukishima would be a dinosaur. Nishinoya would be a happy looking dog.

• Further I have no clue what else to add oops.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yeee a part 2 on it✨ i hope u enjoyed reading it and uhhh ye✨✨ im working on the last part rn- i might do a little extra but idk🧍✨

[starbuck]

Terror Notes: “Go For Broke”

well… I guess I’m really doing this! Some proper, bullet-pointed notes for each episode of The Terror, starting with ep 1: Go For Broke!

I wrote these out last night (and edited them this morning to make them readable - you’re welcome!) so I hope that y’all enjoy my thoughts and assorted nonsense! I tried to save my comments for points I actually wanted to make because I feel like they bring something to the table but I still ended up writing A Lot lol

I love that Crozier couldn’t even be bothered to be present in welcoming Sir John and Fitzjames onto Terror, making Little and Hodgson do it by themselves. One could argue that he had important captain-y things to be doing at that time or something but I’m not 100% sure that wasn’t the case. 

idk if it’s just the angle, but I paused the episode just as the shot of the officer’s mess is coming in from above and Hodgson’s hands make me so uncomfortable. They look so bone-y and weird. (Just what you came here for, I know. Hand commentary.)

Cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is, after many rewatches, to listen to Fitzjames recounting in a casual, lighthearted manner 1) shooting people 2) people catching fire (and burning to death), and 3) their burning flesh smelling “like roast duck” (so, like something edible) and it’s even more uncomfortable to have the closeup be on Hodgson’s face as he laughs at the ‘roast duck’ comparison.

On a lighter note: I love that Fitzjames felt the need to remind everyone what size cherries are by illustrating it with his fingers. In case they forgot, I guess? As someone who occasionally speaks unnecessarily with my hands, big mood tbh.

I LOVE it when Fitzjames gives Little that affirmative tap on the arm after he compares Fitzjames’s injury to Lord Nelson’s. My friend Eli and I refer to it as The Fitzjames Arm Tap. I would like a Fitzjames Arm Tap, pretty please.

God, Sir John loudly setting his hands on the table to try to dispel the tension from the ‘birdshit island’ debacle as he attempts to change the subject is so funny. I’m gonna stop just pointing out things I find funny soon, I swear, but I just cannot handle this scene.

Between Hodgson looking horrifically embarrassed by Crozier’s outburst at Fitzjames and Little looking nervous when Crozier shoots him a look as Sir John says that there’s no reason to be concerned about the ice, it really does seem that they were having to ‘manage’ him even back in ep 1 when his alcoholism wasn’t completely out of hand.

Personal sidenote about this: My Pop-pop is often rude to workers in stores and restaurants (he doesn’t drink thank goodness but he has Alzheimer’s coming on which has worsened his temper) so I very much understand the feeling of being on-edge that an outburst is going to occur and trying to deal with the fallout when it does. Just going by my own experience, I can imagine Little apologizing to Fitzjames for Crozier’s rudeness as soon as they were out of Crozier’s earshot (not that anything Little could say would heal the deep psychological wound that Crozier created but hey, it’s something).

The way that Sir John brushes aside Dr. MacDonald’s and Crozier’s concerns about moving Young when he’s in such bad shape never fails to upset me but also ~foreshadowing for hauling the ill on boats oooohhh~

I said I was done pointing out random things that amuse me but the speed and agility with which Des Voeux pops out of the hatch and onto the deck after Orren falls into the water is just so funny. I could watch that two second clip on repeat all day. Might gif it so I actually can.

Is this a good time to point out that there’s also a scene in Moby-Dick where someone falls from high up on a mast and drowns? It’s in a chapter all about bad omens experienced by the crew of the Pequod and The Terror definitely has some similar vibes going on with the sun dogs displayed in the establishing shot of Erebus in that scene and David Young, a “warning of things to come,” on his way over.

The second(?) time I watched the part where Young tells Stanley that he didn’t think anything of getting headaches since he’s always gotten them, I had this thought pass through my head that was like “oh god, I had chronic migraines for years so I’d never have known if I had lead poisoning either!” but then I realized that this probably was not a relevant concern I should have.

Not sure I have any deep commentary on this but as Gore informs Sir John and Fitzjames about the blocked propeller, he’s standing in the same spot, in the same room as Goodsir will stand next episode to tell them about his death.

Also regarding this scene, I love how Gore waits for Fitzjames to give him the go-ahead to leave before actually going. I know that Fitzjames is his superior officer too but, since Sir John already dismissed him, it seems like waiting for Fitzjames’s approval isn’t really necessary, yet a nice thing to do. Perhaps this is a legitimate formality, but something similar happens later in this episode in the command meeting when Crozier asks Gore how many sun dogs he’s seen; he looks to Fitzjames and waits for his nod before answering Crozier. He doesn’t look to Sir John, he looks to Fitzjames. I know that we know essentially nothing about Gore but like.. underrated ship???? Just saying…

Ten nights ago, I was unable to get to sleep for at least an hour because I started thinking about David Young’s saying “I want to go to my grave as I am” and, of course, that ultimately doesn’t happen for him but also, this, like all things about him, is a “warning of things to come.” I’m pretty sure that no one else was properly buried until, arguably, Fitzjames and ironically, that was explicitly not what he wanted done with his body (and, since his grave was later looted by Hickey, similar to the way that Young’s autopsy ultimately achieved nothing, it didn’t really matter anyway).

I know that this happened exactly ten days ago because I forced myself to wake up and write it down in my notes app, lest I forget, which only prolonged my sleeplessness. I suffer for my analysis. 

Ah yesssss Tozer’s lesbian haircut. We love it! Why does my hair not look like that when I take a hat off? I’d like to file a complaint.

Was just thinking the other day about how Hartnell being the one to notice that there was something up with the ice in ep 1 is followed up on with Blanky complimenting Hartnell’s ability to read the ice to Crozier in ep 7. I wonder if Blanky ever gave him like. ice-reading lessons after becoming aware of his interest and natural talent at it in ep 1? That makes me happy to think about.

The two people who we’re shown awoken by Young’s screaming are Sgt. Bryant and Morfin and like. Do I even have to explain why that’s an Oof?

The way that Goodsir hesitates before knocking on Stanley’s door and Stanley irritatedly closing his book before answering the knock in an exasperated voice would be comedic in any other context. If I’m being honest, it still makes me laugh. As does Stanley’s “As if that weren’t plain.”

I’ve pointed this out before but mmmmm... that shot of Stanley in profile with the open candle flame in the background… the foreshadowing in this ep is thicker than the smoke at… Oh alright, I’ll stop. 

God, the autopsy/dive scene…. Collins being lowered down and entering the water paralleled with Goodsir’s initial cutting into Young’s corpse, the breaking up of the ice paralleled with the cutting of the bone-saw. But most significant to me is the parallel of what is seen/not seen and the long-term effect that this has. Collins sees Orren’s corpse (and then presumably never tells anyone about it), reinforcing his guilt over Orren’s death, the beginning of his mental health decline. Goodsir doesn’t see the cause of Young’s death in his autopsy and this not knowing about the lead poisoning until it’s too late to do anything about it is the cause of many of Goodsir’s later problems as well. And, to finish it all off, both the autopsy and Collins’ dive were ultimately for nothing (considering a spinning propeller is useless when your ships are frozen in). 

Crozier and Blanky’s simultaneous face journeys as Sir John rambles on about how there’s nothing to worry about and they’ll find the passage any day now are truly legendary.

I wrote some pretty extensive tags on this already but man… Crozier’s comment about how not all of Sir John’s men returned from one of his previous arctic expeditions is just so nasty and awful. Like, yes, Sir John is wrong to undersell the danger they’re in and Crozier is advocating for the correct position here, but that was completely uncalled for and horrible to say, particularly in a command meeting, in front of so many people. And Sir John looks legitimately upset by it too. He gets over it quickly, at least on the outside, but I still feel really bad for him (and I NEVER feel bad for Sir John so this is weird for me).

“But of course we will not be abandoning Erebus, or Terror…” Let’s check back in six episodes and see how that’s going! 

Crozier slamming his fist on the table to prove he’s not being melodramatic reminds me of this one post (that I sadly can’t find rn) about Jesus Christ Superstar that’s like “‘CUT OUT THE DRAMATICS’ Judas hollered dramatically.” It’s such an Overall Mood.

I don’t have a developed commentary on this at the moment but it’s an interesting reverse-parallel that Sir John had no concern for Young’s well-being when he was alive, ignoring Crozier’s concerns about moving him from ship-to-ship when he was in such poor health, yet now that he’s dead, Sir John is the one to recommend that Young be buried which Crozier is surprised by, and seems to feel is unnecessary.

There’s been so much amazing commentary already made about Young’s burial scene so I’ll skip it except to say that Hickey’s irritated sigh when he hears footsteps coming towards the grave is SO funny. That’s exactly how I feel when I know that someone is about to tell me something that will annoy me.

Goodsir was really getting into the emotion of Sir John’s “eulogy”/motivational speech before he remembered the promise he made about Young’s ring. Also, what triggered his memory was Sir John saying “We shall earn our loved one’s cheers and embraces,” so no doubt a reminder of the traumatic “Your loved ones will be there in Heaven to welcome you! :)” “I never knew my mother or father” exchange (or maybe just a reminder of the fact that he was supposed to get Young’s ring to his sister but just let me scrape a little humor out of this. God knows I need it).

The shot of Bryant praying in his hammock the night before they get completely frozen-in is honestly deeply upsetting to me. Especially considering he’s a marine so he Did Not Ask To Be Here, yet there he’ll die.

According to Melville, ship’s compasses occasionally spun round-and-round when a ship was caught in a severe storm and this was an incredibly upsetting thing to behold because of how disorienting it was. So, considering that, Fitzjames keeps his composure pretty well but he clearly has some reservations about how things are going and Sir John has no comforting-sounding remark about ‘Magnetic North’ to offer him now.

The bit where Sir John “sees” Crozier, on Terror, turn away from him with a half-smirk on his face is interesting because there’s no way he could have possibly seen Crozier’s expression at that distance and I’m doubtful that he’d even have been able to make out the identity of anyone he might have been able to see on Terror’s deck. So really, it speaks mostly to Sir John’s mental state; his seeing their getting frozen in as a loss against Crozier and imagining that Crozier would see it as a victory for himself.

Ugh the final shot is making me think about @catilinas’s post comparing a shot of the two ships stuck in to the shot of the ink drops from ep 3 and I am LOSING IT but I was losing it anyway because it’s 2AM now and my entire body feels like gelatin. 

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT! 

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

[uncle-lucifer]

Rules: Answer 10 questions, come up with 10 questions, and tag 10 people

I got tagged by @skchorpion, thank you so much!

1. What was the last/ most interesting thing you wrote down for yourself (either in messenger, notes app, paper, etc)?

I wrote down a story arc that I want my character in D&D to have. It just suddenly hit me that I know what I want to do with him and I was scared I could forget it. However, I will not be sharing publicly what it was because other players in my campaign follow this blog.

2. What’s the word you’d want your friends definitely to say when describing you?

Loyal. Because I always try to be as loyal to them as I can.

3. Best comfort food and for what occasion?

Spaghetti carbonara made from... powdered sauce? Is that what you call that? Idk, but this is what I often make with @spacewinter when we get drunk.

4. If you were any sort of plant (with edible parts or flowers or anything really), what would you like to be?

I want to be moss. Why? I don't know, I just think moss is neat.

5. What is your weapon of choice?

A pan.

6. Would you come and bury this body with me?

Are you wearing a face mask? If not, I can't come over, man. Quarantine and shit.

7. If you had your own pride flag, what colours would you use?

Deep green, ocean blue and royal purple. It would be a gradient tho, I don't like stripes too much.

8. Favourite month?

October. The most beautiful part of autumn.

9. What filters/tags do you use when searching for a new fanfic to read?

Whatever ship I feel like reading, I don't usually look for anything in particular, more like I just scroll through the ship's tag and read what I like. But other than that I mostly read AUs like: pirates, coffee shop, university and roommates. I also prefer works that are 3k+ words.

10. The most wild reason why you’re going to hell/heaven/elsewhere?

Well, I do have the nickname Lucifer since high school so that's a pretty good reason. Also I'm good at convincing people to do my stupid ideas with me. And I love getting people drunk. I know it's not wild but the wildest things I do aren't good or evil just chaotic. So if there's a realm of chaos I will probably go there.

Such good questions, thank you again for tagging me! Now, here's a list of what I came up with:

1. What fictional location would you be? (Not where would you live but what would you like to become)

2. How's quarantine going for you? Do you find it a horrible experience or a time to learn more about yourself and grow?

3. What is the last thing you have drawn?

4. Best dream you can remember.

5. Favourite smell?

6. Do you have a morning routine? If yes, what is it?

7. Your absolutely favourite blog on this hellsite?

8. What alcohol would you be and why?

9. Favourite holiday?

10. Share a fun fact about yourself! Something not many people know.

I tag: @darkandstormyranger @bluebell-isabelle @nunlaser @gabrielsbubblegumbitch @spacewinter and whoever else wants to do this, I just tagged some people in another post but if you want to do this also feel free to. I just didn't want to overdo it because, again, I'm bad at interacting with people!