#literally not just having her work for you but then constantly THREATEN her with essentially homelessness and a very unsafe situation is

[lildoodlenoodle]

One of the biggest problems and red flags about the whole spider society was having kids be workers for them.

Now I’m not saying the spider society shouldn’t have contacted the younger spiders or even work with them! But the spider society should function as more of a support group and emergency backup type situation for the younger spiders.

There was no reason for Margo, someone who is implied to be like Miles’s age, someone who can’t even drive, to be running an integral part of the society and how they are keeping the multiverse intact. She not only ran it, but if it malfunctioned it was clearly her job and responsibility to fix. When the machine ‘breaks’ and functions while, as far as she’s aware, no one’s in it she’s panicking, even though there would be no real consequences if she just let it run. There was no reason for Gwen, a 16 yr old, to be running around the multiverse alone going on high stakes solo missions(and that’s not even getting into the whole homeless thing). We don’t know yet what Peni’s role is but we have to assume it’s similar in nature and responsibility. That is insane.

Pav is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with the society, because he’s not really in it! He doesn’t know the indoctrination canon events yet, we don’t see him going off on solo missions, he gets backup when he needs it and that seems to be it.

For the kids that do know the canon events theory(Margo, Peni, Gwen) I cannot even imagine what must be going through their heads. Who else from their worlds has to die. For Peni, is her last living relative, Uncle Ben, the next person for her to lose? If Gwen returns to her world how long will it take for her dad to die? What other traumatic events have Miguel’s theory dictated will happen to them next? What horrors do they know will happen to them and their loved ones that they aren’t allowed to prevent? Is Gwen destined to die young because she’s the only Gwen we see Alive? And Gwen and Hobie, Pav’s friends, do they know that Gayatri and her dad are both destined to die? Like the mental gymnastics these kids have to go through and the mental torment that goes with it.

And then on top of it, to threaten said teenagers, who you have working for you, with being kicked out and being isolated from the people that are like and understand them is really fucked up. Especially if the threatening is because they are acting like teenagers and not soldiers. If Gwen is sent home, not only is her life put in danger but so is her father’s and they all know it. That is some culty level gaslighting and even grooming. Margo and Peni both are implied to not have good home lives either. The more you think about it the worse it gets honestly, because what goes along with this is we never see any of the adult spiders say anything about this.

Miguel and Jess both saw Gwen’s father, a grown man, try to arrest his daughter with a gun pointed at her. They save her, Jess takes her under wing(and whether they meant to or not) effectively become her guardians. They monitor her with what could essentially be a baby monitor/tracking device. They can control where she can and cannot go. And while understandable to not give a teen access to the entire multiverse they were very much giving her the adult responsibilities of protecting it.

When she does screw up, because she is a child who wants to see her friend, Jessica very flippantly references Miguel sending her home, making me think this is not the first time they’ve had that conversation, which is so worrying. And then they eventually do. They knew exactly what situation they were sending her into and not only did the entire society watch Miguel do it with little protest but didn’t even mention it afterwards. Even if Gwen was a threat they had other options, rather than sending her home, where she could still be safe.

There’s also a lot to say about how Jessica, Peter B., and Miguel handled Miles that speaks more to this pattern of behavior but that’s another post.

In the comics the ‘Spider Society’ got away with this sort of stuff, even having an actual infant just chilling with the group, because the spiders were being hunted. They couldn’t go home or leave the safe space dimension because it wasn’t safe. In the movie that is very much not the case. WHY WERE TEENAGERS WORKING FOR THE SOCIETY!?

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

question for susie: who do you think are the top 5 other kirby characters that could most get along with her? the 5 most likely ones that could be her friends, basically

i usually try to answer these as soon as i get them bc i have autism but i actually didnt manage to this time bc.honestly? i dont think susie has 5 friends.best conclusion i got is she has 3 friends n 2 girls who think theyre acquaintances

susie is just.so herself? i feel everyone thinks shes some degree of obnoxious n lacking on morals n just kinda seems weirdly shady.for ppl that like her tho:

i feel kirby is rly obvious but Who Doesnt Kirby Like? susie helped last at the end of KPR so as far as kirby cares shes all set for becoming a friend! in fact she essentially already is! she hasnt done evil things again so rly theyre on great terms.she lets them test ice cream flavor samples for HWCs ice cream brand

i think both susie n magolor consider each other annoying but they mean it affectionately.they get on each others nerves (its nearly always magolor doing the annoying) but somehow get along great anyways.its a mystery they just never fight seriously

taranza would get along w her as well, i think out of every wave 3 character hes the most actually friendable for everyone bc his freak isnt immediately noticed, but.theyre both freaks w no moral compasses n taranza is a professional woman apologist n what would susie want more than to get cry shoujo tears explaining her tragic story while he pats her back like "i completely understand...you were so justified queen dont listen to the haters"

rly she could tell magolor n taranza shes doing anything morally questionable n theyd reply "okay lol" "okay ^_^" if not straight up go w her

now the next 2.susie sure has intense feelings abt but they do not !

susies intense grudge for francisca originates from susie never outgrowing her "i HAVE to kill girls i feel threaten ME being the prettiest in the room" phase bc she didnt get a proper growing up experience.shes constantly making up ways francisca is stealing the spotlight from her.idk francisca was probably more welcomed by the other allies bc shes polite (i am not claiming franny is a nice girlie shes just polite but has the american psycho monologue going on in her head that entire introduction) n susies never gonna get over that bc "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME EVERYONE LIKED!!!" anyways i think itd just be so godamn funny if francisca didnt? know susie wants her dead? shes socially absent she doesnt pay attention she doesnt care lmao.she thinks theyre acquaintances bc of how often susie "talks to her" (shes trying to be subtly mean).even if she realized susie hated her shed be like "okay lol.good morning to you too"

n ive already mentioned it before but im a suzan yuri believer but not a "susie can win anyone over" believer.shes had a long running lesbian crush on zan w 50 layers to it (ranges from "she has such an aura of coolness ♪" to "i can fix her n i can kill her father too i can save her" to "WE CAN MATCH EACH OTHERS FREAKS.TOGETHER.") n has tried every way to try winning her over n zan doesnt understand a single one of them.she believes theyre acquaintances.susie could literally kiss her n shed reply "...my HP bar is already full but thanks.i guess." ironically most times that get zan liking susie a little more is when shes not actively trying to rizz her up, bc oh man.susie was right they match each others freaks of "im the only normal person in this room.(unstable weirdo)".the only ppl this yuri can be considered toxic for is everyone else.

outside of those 5 i think everyone to some degree dislikes her.n yes i think shed play victim abt that.im a firm believer nobody in wave 3/4 save for flamberge is properly befriendable to most of the cast (franny n taranza r in good terms w most ppl but again.inner american psycho monologue girl n polite looking guy who had way too much working for the evil monarch).n thats their appeal theyre all kinda shitty ppl �� i wish i could end this w a beautiful rant on how shitty traumatized ppl still deserve love n redemption but honestly i just think characters r more fun when they kinda suck lol

[felixstudios]

force the managers to play toono with each other all at once. yes the biggest toono game you can get is 6 players. but i think a 16 player toono match would be the biggest shitshow known to man and itd be hilarious

Random Corporate Clash Headcanons, They're All Playing Toono Together Edition

TLDR: Brian {kinda}, Holly {kinda}, Ben, Cosmo, Spruce, and Graham have constant beef. Belle tries to defuse it all and semi succeeds. Buck is laughing the entire time and keeps getting crazy good or crazy bad luck. Oh and he's eating his cards. Graham wins and Spruce flips the table

Duck Shuffler

🎰Eats his cards when nobody's looking LOL

🎰Either has astronomically amazing luck or terrible luck

🎰Laughs constantly throughout the game regardless of what is happening. It is all funny to him. He's having a great time

Prethinker

🧠Scoffs and tries to leave. Several times

🧠Says that someone as smart as him couldn't possibly enjoy partaking in a game that relies on chance so heavily

🧠If he loses he still gets really upset even though he keeps trying to rationalize he essentially had a 1/16 chance of winning

🧠He uh... he gets into some fights and arguments

Deep Diver

🫧Just has a good time on his own and doesn't really say anything

🫧Might laugh at some people's misfortunes

🫧She does give a few glares at +4s though

Rainmaker

⛈️Refuses to play +2s or +4s because she doesn't want the next person over to hate her

⛈️Unless someone prompts her to be competitive or teases or makes fun of her. Then suddenly she will get VERY competitive and determined to win. All those +2s and +4s she's been saving get placed down

⛈️She might cry if someone's especially rude when they tease her

Gatekeeper

⚔️Says she highly disapproves of playing such a game, but since she's forced to that's the only reason she is

⚔️Still gets VERY upset when she gets a +2 or +4 though. If she loses? Yeah that makes her mad too

⚔️But she doesn't care though! Totally!

Witch Hunter

🔱Tries everything in his power to escape

🔱Does NOT enjoy playing whatsoever

Bellringer

🔔He will do everything in his power to win, including coming up with plots with everyone else to mess with someone who only has 1-2 cards left by giving them a massive +16 or something

🔔Oh yeah, he will also resort to gossiping to try to keep everyone distracted about how few cards he has. Or ringing his bell really loud to bring attention to his head instead of his hands

🔔Will often act distracted and try to point everyone's attention to things outside the game. Not to cheat, just to distract everyone else from his hand and make him seem like a non-threat

Multislacker

🥪He eat sammich the whole time lol

🥪Literally couldn't care less about who wins or loses and just picks whatever card works when it's his turn

🥪He does find the constant bickering ond banter mildly amusing, though

Mouthpiece

☎️She made everyone cookies to enjoy during the game!

☎️ Doesn't really care what happens as long as everyone's having fun

☎️Tries to stop arguments and reminds everyone it's just a game and not that serious. She doesn't realize part of the fun of Toono is those arguments

Major Player

🎹You can tell that he's secretly mad when he doesn't win, but he plays it cool

🎹Makes a big show of himself to everyone

🎹He was secretly recording the entire game and uploads it to YouTube when it's done

Firestarter

🔥You can tell he's pretty guilty when he has to play a +2 or +4, but he only looks away quietly

🔥Graham insisted on sitting next to him so poor Flint gets extra guilt

🔥He doesn't really talk much and gets pretty freaked out by the loud arguments

Plutocrat

🌑Gets kinda upset when he doesn't win or when something goes poorly for him and he starts up arguments about it

🌑 Threatens that he's gonna have his Satellite Investors "persuade" them to join if they don't knock it off

🌑Even if he just seems really grumpy the whole time, he actually had a lot of fun. He just won't tell anyone about it

Treekiller

🪵Gets into a LOT of arguments over the game

🪵He takes it just a bit too seriously, for some reason. Like, just a tad? Like, he's genuinely kinda upset and kinda joking along?

🪵He flips the table at the end

Chainsaw Consultant

🪚Really quiet the entire time

🪚Kinda "Hmm" and "Hmph"s through it, but does occasionally actually speak

🪚Refuses to get mad or participate in the arguments

🪚Clearly finds amusement in sending out +4s, though

Featherbedder

💤Keeps falling asleep

💤Is just too tired to do or say much other than just play the game

Pacesetter

👟Well of COURSE someone as perfect as him is gonna win!

👟Insists on sitting next to Flint. There's a good amount of PDA

👟He'll act like he's being his usual impatient self and force everyone to play fast but he's ACTUALLY playing the long con. He actually has a strategy

👟He waits until he only has wild cards, +4s, and +2s. Then just plays those one at a time until he wins

👟Then Spruce flips the table and he gets mad

[alicent-vi-britannia]

Why did Lelouch order Euphemia to exterminate the Japanese?

In my post about Code Geass' modern reinterpretation of the Faust legend, I lightly touched on the famous Japanese Special Administrative Zone massacre, but it was not the main focus of my analysis. This time, it will be. I'll try to explain to you why Lelouch's Geass activated right at the moment he talked about a hypothetical scenario in which he ordered Euphemia to wipe out all the Elevens.

It was essentially for two reasons. I already said the first in that publication that I mentioned, but I will make a small summary.

Because it went against his heart's desire:

First of all, one must understand that Geass is the manifestation of the user's deepest desire. It gives them the power necessary to achieve that desire. Lelouch began to desire power when his father exiled him and his sister to Japan to use them as political tools, since he felt powerless. He wanted the power to change his helpless situation, to find justice for the murder of his mother, and, essentially, to destroy Britannia (and, by extension, exact revenge). That's why his Geass manifests as mind control.

When Euphemia inaugurated the ZEAJ, she put Lelouch in conflict. "Although he 'planned' to use Geass on Euphemia to force her to shoot him with the idea that he could fake his death, so that the Japanese would forever distrust Britannia and Zero could show himself as a martyr, Lelouch did not actually wanted to hurt Euphemia. This is why his Geass eye was constantly hurting throughout the episode. Lelouch knew deep down that he would join Euphemia if she pushed him hard enough, and he also knew that this was against his wish."

Worse yet, if Lelouch allied with Euphemia, he would ruin everything he had been actively working for until now as Lelouch would eventually be forced to take off Zero's mask and become a pawn of Britannia. But still, he did it. Partly because of his affection for Euphemia, his dear sister. Partly because Lelouch was shocked to discover that she promoted the Administrative Zone of Japan for Nunnally (his very reason for creating a new world).

In fact, the program tells us that he does not want to use his Geass on Euphemia by unmasking himself in front of her in a literal and metaphorical sense since it is a sign of vulnerability (Lelouch does not have the confidence to show his identity to his men, but he does to Euphemia); by metaphorical sense, I mean that he is honest with her, since he immediately goes on to explain his master plan to regain the support of the Elevens and it is known that when someone reveals his cards prematurely, it is because he really has no intention to use them.

That is why his Geass, which is supernatural in nature and not a machine that Lelouch operates, is activated at that moment as it keeps him on the path to fulfilling his wish: destroying Britannia.

It is here that Lelouch first realizes that Geass is a diabolical power (or, as I said in my analysis of the Faust legend, that Geass gives him the desire for it in a poisoned way). That is why this scene is so important to the story (and, needless to say, this constitutes a precursor to Zero Requiem).

2. Out of arrogance:

There is an erroneous generalization in the fandom that the Japanese Special Administrative Zone massacre was the product of a prank by Lelouch. But it is not true and from there I say that there is a misinterpretation of the scene. It is hyperbole (exaggeration, to put it simply).

First we will review the dialogue of the scene: Euphemia: Did you [Lelouch] really think that just by threatening me I would shoot you? [Remember that Lelouch "planned" to use Geass on her to force her to shoot him to tarnish Euphemia's reputation and become a victim or, rather, a martyr, and then emerge as the only Messiah the Elevens can turn to] Lelouch: Oh no, you've got it all wrong! When I really want people to follow my orders, they won't resist me, whether it's shooting me, granting forgiveness to Suzaku, or any order. Euphemia: Oh, now you're being silly! Stop joking with me. Lelouch: I'm serious! For example, if you were told to kill all the Japanese, it wouldn't matter how you felt about it…

Euphemia does not believe Lelouch when she says that he is capable of dictating any order he wants and she will comply without any choice. Only, instead of telling him "you're lying to me" or "you're giving me shit," she says "stop joking me me!" because she's too kind to think that Lelouch is blatantly lying to her and, come on, what he's telling is not credible.

The thing is, Lelouch insists on it because he wants to convince her that he is sooooo powerful that he could order her something that would go against her nature and she would have to obey. It's pure arrogance due to him being raised as a prince (and being born in an empire with Social Darwinist ideology) and, as C.C. pointed out in episode 7, Lelouch is a sore loser. He has a hard time admitting when he loses, so he disguises his wounded ego with bragging. This brings us to another point that I have touched on through the enneagram: Lelouch is not comfortable being vulnerable and I think here Lelouch discovers that he had misjudged Euphemia, so another reason to protect his wounded ego: he did not want to admit that he had mistaken. So when Lelouch goes on to talk about his Geass, he's basically saying, "I could have won if I wanted to."

We can relate this to the concept of "hybris" from Greek tragedy. Hubris is usually understood as "arrogance", "pride", "excessive confidence". But it's not exactly that. Let's say that this is the modern reassignment of the term, although, deep down, the original concept does have to do with arrogance and pride. Let me explain: there is no literal translation in English of "hybris", but the closest thing is "disproportionateness", in the sense of "transgressing the limits imposed by the gods on mortals." That's hubris. Believe that you are above the gods.

To give two examples: although it is true that Oedipus has anger problems, his hubris lies in the fact that he boasted of having succeeded where the fortune tellers failed by solving the riddle of the Sphinx that caused problems for Thebes and divination was a divine power, which Oedipus disdained in favor of his ingenuity (now I find it more ironic, because the one who grante the power of divination is Apollo and he was the one who sent that plague on Thebes for the patricide Oedipus committed. Now, I ask you, Will a plague have fallen on Japan after Suzaku killed his father?).

Likewise, Oedipus boasted that he had escaped destiny, and destiny is a divine decree that must be respected. It was later discovered that it was not like that and, in fact, he had killed his father and married his mother.

Arachne boasted that she was a better weaver than Athena and, because she was arrogant, the goddess turned her into a spider.

Lelouch boasted of being able to twist the wills of others as he pleased, and look what happened to him: he ended up giving an order against their will (aha, Lelouch, what does it feel like to be on the other side of the table? What do you think? Do you feel like you're being forced to do something you don't want to?). An order that brought misfortune to thousands of innocents, including his sister and himself.

In summary? Don't mess with gods or the supernatural. Be humble.

[girlhorse]

I understand you might not want to share, but if you dont mind, what happened? no judgment of course shit happens

under cut bc its long and boring kinda but i need to vent lol

it's like... literally nothing. not even interesting really. when i got hurt last week it was while breaking company safety policy - in the salon I'm in, literally everyons breaks several policies daily, bc our manager doesn't enforce them and most of us including me don't know the actual rules because of this. I got "caught" essentially because i got injured, so now my boss has been giving me so much shit for it. I'll concede that i knew i was breaking the rules leading up to the incident, but it was a rule i thought was "safe" to break in that particular salon bc i was told it was ok by another employee that worked there.

fwiw i still don't think what i did caused the incident to occur, they are only related in that they happened close together. and it doesnt matter if they're not related bc corporate will see them as related either way

on top of this my boss since i started has been really hard on me for seemingly no reason. She called me rude & irritating to my face many times, which stopped after we had a meeting with the gm. she consistently has accused me of things i havent done and has it in her head that I'm slow at my job and incompetent.

I struggle to understand what she wants from me. Recently I left late due to being stuck on a difficult groom that was taking a long time, ans her response was to accuse me of purposely staying late (again mind you) in order to make more money ig. She then continued to threaten me with retraining. today i left on time despite having a busy day, after asking her if she wanted me to stay and clean or if she wanted me to clock out. she told me to clean my station and leave. i did that and I left, and after i left she got mad that i didnt clean and asked me to come back to clean which regrettably i did go back to do like..off the clock lol.

today was the first time ive worked with her since i got injured and since she became like... mad at me about it idk. and shes been kind of being snippy more than anything..i literally had a nightmare about working today last night bc I've been so out of my mind anxious all weekend (her way of communicating that I'm in trouble is to just hint at a looming meeting, tell me shes unhappy and like let me fuckin simmwr with rhat for hours or days) and while she disnt outright yell at me or anything today she just kept making snide remarks or criticizing me constantly, not just privately but in front of others too. today was just so busy and i was anxious and fawning the whole damn day because of it and im exhausted. i worked so hard and did my damn best to please her like..almost subconsciously. i felt like i was dissociating. i was very anxious all day and frazzled and had trouble focusing. it ended up getting me in trouble during closing too.

its just really frustrating bc it only seems to happen to me. My othsr coworkers stay late with her on busy days. and i feel confused about what she expects from me.

[rappaccini]

... i'm gonna ramble about orphan black and eugenics for a sec because oh man did these writers know exactly what the fuck they were cooking with when they wrote this show.

so first of all, neolution is essentially a cult revolving around advancing eugenics started by a crazy old rich british racist who thought poverty was genetic, wrote a bigass book all about it, and got his ass killed in the jungle because he wanted to play great white hunter there. it was revived by a bunch of rich white science students at cambridge and is spearheaded by a texan billionaire grifter who cosplays as an 1800s lord on his private island full of test subjects and uses experimental therapies to enhance his health, who fooled them and some of the most powerful people in the world so well that they invested billions into him and his eugenics experiments (... like inserting tech into people's brains).

just look at the material.

mathieson, the figurehead of neolution, fetishizes the 1800s so much that he makes his houseguests dress up in victorian outfits, surrounds himself with women he plays against each other, plays wagner on repeat (you know, the composer whose work was the third reich's soundtrack and was literally played in concentration camps? whose daughter married a racialist?), and encourages his followers to study up on "managing reproduction in feeble-minded populations."

he uses aicha's illness to make a lab rat of her and lies about healing her as his scientists slowly watch her die and harvest her genetic material. tuskeegee anyone?

yanis's developmental issues are used to demonize him into a literal 'monster' who is locked up, hunted on the island, and shot to death like old yeller.

major neolutionist aldous leekie is a german man whose ideal human has white hair and a single white eye. so... light hair and light eyes. hm.

neolution is largely made up of white scientists and foot soldiers and employs poc but never lets them into leadership positions

neolution very quickly disposes of evie cho and marian bowles, the only women of color of significance within the organization.

henrik johanssen's prolethean offshoot of neolution straight-up allies itself with white supremecists like his old militia buddy and splits off right during the conservative christian attacks on reproductive tech

the neolution split consisting of whether to expand further into biology or big tech.

germline editing in infants is neolution's new big push, and babies with deformities at brightborn are euthanized

the use of women of color as naive surrogates to carry both brightborn babies and sarah and helena. they have no idea what they're pregnant with, are constantly prodded by scientists, and have no legal right to the children.

sarah and helena's mother in particular was sourced from apartheid south africa.

"brightborn" is basically a literal translation of the word "eugenics"

the cold river institute where ethan duncan worked after the explosion is devoted to creating the 'most perfect baby', and clearly based on the cold springs harbor eugenics office

the control of women's reproductive freedom:

->the clones are intentionally prevented from reproducing because of fears about not being able to control the outcome (... and yet rachel grows up with a complex about infertility because it's still being held against her).

->helena's eggs are harvested against her will and she's coerced into agreeing to pregnancy by henrik.

->sarah is threatened with an oophorectomy and a new unwanted pregnancy when she's being held by dyad.

->the brightborn women have no idea what they're actually signing onto, have no legal right to their embryos, if their babies are born less than perfect, they'll be euthanized, and a pregnant woman who escapes is lynched by brightborn agents so it has nothing to do with Protecting The Children.

->and kira, who hasn't even had a period yet and is only eight years old, is being plied with hormones so her eggs can be implanted into surrogates who have no idea what their fetuses are being used for.

->most of the clones' own mothers don't even know their ivf is being tampered with.

->the castor boys only exist to strip reproductive freedom from women.

... even the incest is a part of it: the way susan duncan sexually abuses ira, who is basically her son. how henrik johanssen inseminates his daughter with one of his embryos. how seth and rudy like to rape women together, assault krystal and attempt to do the same to sarah and helena, their biological twin sisters. how rachel duncan keeps getting drawn to predatory father figures (including ferdinand, who plays daddy kink with her, and mathieson, who feels like he's about to do something gross to her every time they're in the same room, and has watched her touch herself in the shower). how the new stem cell line for the ledas is created through fertilizing rachel's egg with ira's sperm.

delphine is quickly revealed to be sleeping with eugenicist leekie in s1, explicitly calls herself a eugenicist and confirms she's proud of it in season 2, climbs the ladder in season 3, and is actively working with mathieson on his life extension treatments in 5. cosima is constantly being tempted into joining neolution through their intimate relationship. each woman is literally in bed with the idea that eugenics could benefit her and has to pull away. delphine's attempt to be the Good Eugenicist Who Protects Her Subjects immediately backfires when it leads to her using her power for petty revenge, a total breakdown of trust between her and cosima, being disposed of the second she's not useful anymore, and essentially being held captive and forced to dress up as a bride and stroke mathieson's ego for her own survival. (... much like rachel). it's a giant metaphor for white women's flirtation with eugenics. girls get up.

it's eugenics.

when it comes to the clones themselves it is not a coincidence that neolution's pathway to 'creating a better human being' through manipulating the lin28a gene to produce enhanced healing and disease/aging resistance only bothered to focus on cloning white people. eugenics doesn't want to save and genetically enhance the human race, it wants to save and genetically enhance wealthy, able-bodied white people.

and the clones are the way they intend to do it.

the end goal of the castor boys is creating a bioweapon used to eliminate 'undesirable' genetic stock from the population through being inserted into society to spread a sexually transmitted infection that renders women infertile at best (and may eventually become the respiratory illness that kills the clones). so, a way to commit genocide by forcibly sterilizing the women in a chosen population through using rape as a weapon of war. it's a way to terrorize and trigger an internal collapse within their communities, because on top of causing an infertility crisis, you have to add onto that the internal trauma and external stigma of being a rape victim that would sow even further discord.

the leda girls went through a greater evolution in purpose. they probably started as the extra clones that were proof of concept of human cloning's viability for female subjects, but especially of the sti the males carry-- which the ledas were intentionally given and never treated for. (yes ethan duncan says they didn't want a reproducing prototype, but given that virginia coady was participating in the research at this time since castor and leda hadn't split yet, i get the sense that another idea was in the mix-- and it was allowing the disease to propagate to observe how it'd affect women before the castors were old enough to spread it themselves.) in the meantime the ledas were repurposed as a study on human behavior under variation.*

*but only the behavior of mostly-western white women born into families wealthy enough to afford ivf treatments or expensive adoptions (with the occasional exception for poor women, like miriam johnson, who was implanted in a known alcoholic, probably not-so-coincidentally ended up on the street, and was murdered for dissection). the behavior study is extremely flawed... unless you consider it's of the behavior of the kind of people eugenics wants to prioritize. poc and non-western nations are excluded by design. wealthy women and poor women are used as lab rats are prioritized by design.

then, following the discovery of helena and sarah's fertility, and the excitement about forcibly impregnating them to study their offspring, the purpose of the new proposed leda generation evolved to using them as vessels to observe illness and infection and test experimental medicines and treatments, and to use advanced technology to better administer these medicines and monitor the subjects. no more illusion of freedom, as rachel duncan put it, because eugenics has nothing to do with setting women free and it always views them as vessels. the leda women's purpose is the next step in the eugenics master plan: once the 'undesirables' are eliminated or sterilized, you go about extending the lives of the 'chosen' people-- by creating more generations of them, and by enhancing the quality of life of those who already exist through exploiting the bodies of fertile white women.

(and you even use technology to better surveil those vessels, like mathieson observing rachel through her glass eye. no more human monitors, but only because you can watch her far more efficiently through your computer monitor. no more illusion of freedom, because now the infrastructure's in place to control them without needing to trick them into consenting to it. neolution would indeed, never let a clone have any true autonomy over her treatment, and rachel's 'special vantage point' in the end does not make her exempt from the experiment in the ways she thinks it does. rachel, like cosima and delphine-- like any white women in a white supremecist movement-- has a place in the structure, but no actual power and the special treatment is only an illusion to keep her compliant.)

and finally, with kira manning (and the twins), the offspring of a fecund clone whose lin28a gene is working as hoped, they arrive at their end goal: a limitless source of stem cells which can be continually harvested and donated to people who need or want them. the total lack of concern about the ethics of keeping a child in a laboratory, harvesting an eight-year-old girl's eggs and using them to impregnate 1300ish naive surrogates to create that supply of stem cells for their top brass's use, and then using that eight-year-old girl to study deep tissue recovery (aka: they're going to carve up a child's body to watch her heal. or not.) should be expected. they might be calling her their 'new eve' but she's meat, just like her aunts and uncles.

(... honestly i think ob misstepped by not making kira biracial. the show's lack of diversity in its main cast is maybe its one great shortcoming considering just how light years ahead it was in all its other writing. though the clones all had to be white because they're a eugenics experiment, and so did many supporting characters given their associations with institutions implicitly tied to racial hierarchy, kira, cal and probably felix all definitely should've been poc to balance that out a bit more, and especially to open a discussion on the mistreatment of women of color during the construction of eugenics and medical science-- like anarcha and henrietta lacks.)

[bambiscottagecare]

I went out with some old coworkers today. I feel like without the emotion this could have been one hell of a kink post but it’s hard for me to want to spin this that way, so I’m posting here instead.

I found out that the person who was essentially my workplace bully (as cringe as that sounds) is in the middle of an active investigation because the district manager wants her fired. Multiple people have quit, including some new hires, several of the shift leads have either threatened to or have transferred, and apparently my name has floated around a bit. The DM actually wants to talk to me specifically but technically can’t because I don’t work there. I’ll gladly meet her at Applebee’s and spill over a shark bowl or some Sangria though. It feels really validating, though depressing. Not that it matters in the end because she’s still working there and my indeed inbox has cobwebs.

I would love to tell her about how she treated me like dog shit. About how she constantly made me feel worthless, and (sorry but I’m gonna use the word outside of kinkplay) retarded. Everything Idid felt wrong, and no matter what it was it never felt like I was good enough. I’d love to talk about how she always put me in lose-lose scenarios to prove a point, or how I’d have to give myself long pep talks before leaving. Or how I started smoking again after getting hired, because being stoned and bed rotting was what helped me unwind and relax. And despite posting about being a dumb bimbo I never wore makeup to work because I physically did not have it in me to put on a face for people that didn’t like me, and I sure as hell didn’t want to cry off my face that I worked so hard on. I actually barely even wear makeup anymore. I’m gonna lose platinum at Ulta and I’ve already lost rouge at Sephora. Kinda ironic considering part of the kink is makeup and being hyper feminine, huh? Speaking of…

When I come on here and talk about wanting to be degraded and called slurs and stuff that’s obviously in the context of kink. I sign up for it, quite literally. I consent to DM’s and mean reblogs. And if I’m not consenting, I’m not on tumblr because I’m not in that headspace. And if you’ve managed to cross a line even with that consent, I’ll just block you.

But…I haven’t had that problem. Truth is masochistic misogyny doms, in my experience, have been wonderful. They check in on you. Even if they’re not domming you and are just randos that come across your content. I KNOW that it’s not always that way. We all have horror stories it seems like. I just haven’t. I can tell you all about people like my former boss who come off as sweet and caring just to be the worst person ever, but in the 30 years that I’ve been alive and the 12ish where I’ve been either in this space or adjacent, I can count on one hand the bad experiences I’ve had with a self proclaimed Superior Male.

And I’d rather have the guy posting about how we’re (women) are all useless retards and not worth the shit in their toilet in my DM’s and in my life than the guy with the aesthetic Twitter account who always retweets anti-bullying psas anywhere near me.

Uh, thanks for coming to my ted talk ig, all four of you that follow this blog.

[frankterranella]

Facing the reality of getting older

Stopping to smell the roses at Sissinghurst Castle Garden, England.

The Rolling Stones had a hit in 1966 with a song called "Mother's Little Helper." The song was essentially about the epidemic of tranquilizer abuse. Librium had been introduced in 1960 and was an instant hit, particularly with depressed housewives. The verse of the Rolling Stones song begins: "Kids are different today, " I hear every mother say Mother needs something today to calm her down And though she's not really ill, there's a little yellow pill She goes running for the shelter of her mother's little helper And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day Listening to this song today, what strikes me is the line that opens the song and separates each stanza of the verse -- "What a drag it is getting old." That line hit me last week as I watched James Taylor sing on television. Taylor recently celebrated his 75th birthday. Up until now I have been happy that his voice seemed unaffected by age unlike formerly great singers such as Gordon Lightfoot (84), Neil Diamond (82), Paul McCartney (80)  and Linda Ronstadt (76). But now I can't deny the fact that age has finally caught up to James Taylor. His voice was thin and sounding old in two separate performances this week. And that's sad. Between the number of singers of my generation who have been dying recently and the number who have lost their voices, it certainly is a drag getting old. Actually, I think one of the worst things about getting old is not being able to do things you used to do. And it's bad enough watching the aging process in others when you're young, but as you reach retirement age, aging becomes real for you. Climbing stairs, getting into cars and just walking great distances are progressively more difficult. I think the physical deterioration is worse for people like athletes, singers and dancers, whose great talents are dimmed by age. Next month I will celebrate my 70th birthday. I have to acknowledge that I have a much closer relationship with doctors that I had a decade ago. Although I have no life-threatening illnesses, in a few days I will have my third surgical procedure of the year. This one will attempt to ease my sciatica. So I have all the aches and pains and physical breakdown that comes with getting old. But I also have the pleasure of having time to enjoy life. I can wake up every day and, after walking around the house to get the blood flowing and the sciatic pains to subside, I can go for a walk in a park and literally take time to smell the roses. I can drive to spend time with my three grandchildren. I can enjoy the museums, libraries and restaurants in my area on a weekday without crowds and without rushing. I even have time to devote to volunteer work in my community. All in all it's a wonderful life, despite the aches and pains. No stress; no anti-anxiety drugs needed. I have seven decades of memories to contemplate. I can look back at wonderful trips by land, sea and air to some of the most beautiful places on earth. I have pictures on the walls to constantly remind me. And best of all, I can plan new trips without having to worry about the demands of a job. So while from a physical standpoint it undoubtedly is a drag getting old, from a fulfillment and happiness standpoint, it can be some of the best years of our lives.

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Ok, time for part 2 of this.

I skipped some important elements last time, like some crucial elements of Stephanie's love story with Jordan, her confronting her past, and the fact that Dylan is seeing someone else now (a girl he met where he used to work, named Nicole. Fun fact - that's the name of my sister's imaginary friend/alter ego growing up lol. She used to love using Nicole as a fun little way to get on my nerves as a kid... but I thought it would be fun to include her since Dylan is my sister's favourite crew member). I just want to give a general view of the story, not mention every tiny detail of it. I feel like that's what I've been doing with all of these summaries, so I thought I'd continue the trend.

Anyways, to continue with the plot...

The peaceful life that Stephanie's built here with her new family has been threatened by all this controversy. Her natural instinct is to make a run for it (like she always does lol). So she convinces Jordan to go on their first big family vacation in the Naia private jet! This is where the world tour element comes in. They travel to a bunch of different countries as she attempts to hide from her past, essentially. This is where things start getting off the rails lol.

Dylan comes, too, along with his brother (baby Mia gets super attached to them and she doesn't want to travel if they're not there lol). This is an interesting point because Dylan is the reason that the news about Steph gets out in the first place, and this causes a lot of tension between him and Steph for a while. Especially when he gets into fire after being seen with her in public (a viral picture comes out of him and her hanging out, which led to people speculating that he was romantically involved with her... which clearly isn't the case). But he still sticks by Steph's side and helps her run from the press and the law. Seeing how loyal and dependable he is makes Stephanie trust him more as the trip goes on. But Dylan is unsure of how loyal he should be to Steph, considering how chaotic she makes things for literally everyone that gets involved with her lol. So he's constantly sitting on the fence the entire time. But to give him credit, when she's clearly in the wrong on something, he's not afraid to call her out on it, which is a good thing. Everyone needs a friend who's loyal but also still willing to be the voice of reason in your life.

Meanwhile, in the UK, Elise's relationship with Charlie is still struggling. But upon hearing the news about Steph, she has a new goal that she's focused on - getting Stephanie arrested again. This is where the "Elise becoming an antagonist/'villain'" plotline comes in.

I mean, I don't like calling her that... technically, morally, she's in the right. Stephanie's done some incredibly sketchy things (criminal things, even), and she does deserve jail time. Plus, this is the type of story where it goes beyond characters being labelled as "good" or "bad." The closest thing to a villain here is Reggie, and even he is shown to have a good side.

But considering the fact that Stephanie is the main protagonist, and El is actively fighting against her, she fits an "antagonistic" role here, so that label unfortunately fits her quite well. She becomes obsessed with taking Steph down once and for all. This fuels her distraction from her relationship struggles even more.

She gets the police involved, and even leaks information about Stephanie's whereabouts through her connection to the Looking Glass blog (which, I was meant to make a detailed post about this, but whoever guessed that El was the secret blogger was the closest to guessing correctly! She isn't the original blogger, but she was closely connected with the blogger in Book 2 and then ended up gaining control of what got posted on it once the original blogger quit. So, technically she is involved in the Looking Glass, but she wasn't always. Actually, you know what? I may as well share who the original blogger was... I may as well right? It's Charlie's cousin, Angel. Elise befriends her and inspires Angel to write about Stephanie in Book 2. The reason why Angel knows so much about Steph's case in Book 2 is that Elise was working closely with Steph for the majority of that part of the story, so she had a lot of info to share. But it became stressful for Angel after a while, so she decided to retire from being a controversial news blogger and passed the responsibility to Elise, knowing that she's a good writer and that she'd do a good job with it).

As you guys know, Elise's relationship with Steph has been tested throughout the series. Stephanie speculates that Elise is the reason her life has become so difficult (like, she suspects Elise is behind a lot of this information getting out)... and while she doesn't know the full story, she isn't too far off lol. This further strains their already tense relationship. The two besties of the series end the trilogy with an epic rivalry... it has a (somewhat) happy ending, though. Don't worry.

But it is at this point where I would like to point out the importance of intent. What makes Elise the "villain" here (aside from it being a perspective thing, when we look at it through the lens of the protagonist) is her level of obsession. The vengefulness. The hatred. Like, her hatred for Steph makes sense on some level - she's hurt a lot of people, herself included (I mean, she literally slept with her man in Book 2. I'd be mad too).

And again, Stephanie does deserve jail time... but for Elise, it isn't about that. She likely is telling herself that it is about justice and doing the right thing, but she's only doing it because she has so much anger towards Steph and wants to see her suffer after making her suffer, tbh. It's super interesting to see Elise take such a vindictive stance against Stephanie after all this time and all these years of harbouring all this hurt, while simultaneously forcing herself to let go of it and move on. She's supposed to be the kind, sensible one. She's expected to just get over it when someone hurts her. And she's done so for the longest time. I guess this is what can happen when a person just can't do that anymore.

At the start of the series, Elise was the wholesome one in the group, believe it or not... Going from that to obsessively trying to take down Stephanie shows a huge amount of growth (or corruption?) of her character throughout the series. Makes the contrast even more stark for readers who have been following it from the start (or at least, that's what my friends have told me. It's good! That's what I was going for lol). And it adds extra depth and intrigue seeing a "good" character descend into darker actions, motivated by anger, pain and vengeance. This may be sad to read for Elise fans out there, though (it was sad for me to write it lol), but it is an interesting and realistic element that I felt needed to be explored further. Adds to the idea that good and evil can be found anywhere and that everyone is capable of both.

Anyway, back to her struggling relationship with Charlie... it doesn't work out with him. Charlie breaks off his engagement with El, for a bunch of reasons. He has enough of Elise's obsessiveness over the case, and just her concerning change in behaviour in general.

They have this massive fight about it, where he expresses that while he empathises deeply, at this point, it's like his own fiance appears to be more invested in practically everything else in her life than him (and that she doesn't even really seem all that bothered about marrying him).

He makes a lot of valid points... I mean, Elise didn't really want to marry him. That's the truth. And she knew it, but she didn't seem to want to accept that hard truth. The breakup hits her pretty hard nonetheless, and she ends up throwing herself even deeper into her work and the case to avoid dealing with the heartache of losing Charlie.

Her friends and family start to worry about her declining wellbeing, and decide to give her a bit of an intervention lol (that scene was fun to write... Some old characters like Adam, Maggie and Paul come back... and even Alice comes back from Texas just to check on her friend and make sure she's alright! Good old Ally). To cheer El up, Alice takes her out, and they have a girl's weekend together for the first time in years. They even watch Bret and his band perform live in a concert! It's a good time.

After the show, Elise and Alice reunite with Bret and his bandmates, and they spend the rest of the day together. It looks like Brelise is getting back on track when the two start spending time together one-on-one (just like old times), and they start rekindling their old connection again. They end up spending the night together (if you know what I mean... so much for the wanting to wait thing), and they both have a great time, but in a shocking twist,  Bret gets life-changing news - his ex, Shelby, reveals she's pregnant with his child (dun dun DU-)

I haven't really gotten a solid conclusion to that arc yet.

I have ideas of a potential direction it could go...

One big idea is that he doesn't tell El about it, and keeps it to himself. He contacts his ex about it and they both express their shock and surprise about the situation. He can't be a parent, he has his life and career to think about, and he and Shelby aren't even together anymore. Shelby feels a similar way, but she believes that this is something they should navigate together, which is why she brought it to his attention.

I wrote a scene where they converse about it, and it goes in a pretty serious direction... Bret suggests/pressures Shelby to get rid of their baby (implying abortion/adoption), which Shelby clearly doesn't really want to do. Like, you can tell she's not comfortable with it. I'm not sure I want to go in this direction with it. It feels too... heavy. I mean, I got positive feedback for the scene, but thinking about Bret as a character, it feels like a new low for him (and he's already super flawed lol. Like, his whole thing is taking responsibility and coming back from his shortcomings and whatnot... this feels like a step back in his development. Plus, it's like, one of the worst things you can do to somebody lol. Forcefully trying to take away their own autonomy in a situation to try to influence somebody to do something that benefits you... If I were to go in this direction with him, I'd need to have him learn that what he's trying to do to his ex here isn't ok. And the fact that he's keeping this information from the person he's kind of seeing now isn't helpful either). Like, I understand his perspective, obviously - he doesn't want fatherhood to interfere with his music career and blossoming reconnection with Elise. He also understands the importance of parents, and he doesn't believe he'd be a good father - he's aware of the fact that he isn't the most responsible, and he has a lot of insecurity about potentially doing a bad job of parenting. But still...

Another idea I had is that Elise could find out herself, and then try to confront Bret about it. This could lead to some good development for both characters. El could find out why Bret feels this way about being a potential parent and she can help steer him in the right direction.

I don't know whether to actually have Shelby keep the baby, abort it, or lose the baby somehow (like, through miscarriage). I'm honestly stuck on what to do here, but hopefully, I'll figure it out in a way where all the characters involved get developed in a satisfying way.

One of my friends also recommended that I leave it there, and essentially end Brelise on an ambiguous note. Probably because I mentioned wanting to write a spin-off just for them lol. It would be cool to revisit the characters and tie up loose ends in that way. But honestly, any kind of spin-off would be cool.

But enough about love triangles. Back to the rivalry plot!

Elise is getting her life back on track after her breakup with Charles. She's developed more of a support system, has reunited with Bret (kind of), and is feeling a lot better just generally. However, she is still determined to succeed in the Stephanie case. Her laser focus on her mission starts to shift when she has a pretty significant meeting with an old "friend" in the supermarket. And by "friend," I mean bully. Enter Holly!

For those of you who don't remember who Holly is - she is Bret's ex from high school (before he got with El), who cheated on him at a house party and also tormented Elise for months via cyberbullying and rumours due to jealousy. She ended up getting expelled for her cruel behaviour. She was a pretty toxic chick lol.

Despite their fraught history, Elise has a nice, civil conversation with Holly. They haven't seen each other since they were like 15/16. They've both grown up and have changed so much, it's crazy to think about it. Clearly, Holly has matured since her high school days, and she's doing well for herself now.

Anyway, they catch up, and Elise walks out of it feeling... good. Like, it was genuinely nice to see her, despite all the pain she put her through in the past.

However, this situation causes El to reflect and really think about herself and what she's doing right now. Holly got expelled from school for cyberbullying, spreading rumours about her and making her life harder through technology... which is kind of what Elise is doing to Stephanie currently. El has become the very thing she hated... the very person that made her own life hell. Granted, El has legit reason to hate Stephanie and to want her in jail, whereas Holly was just an angsty, jealous teenage girl, but still. This interaction later triggers Elise to realize she has become the villain by relentlessly targeting Stephanie the same way Holly did. It's like staring her past trauma in the face.

Much like Holly faced consequences via expulsion (which eventually led to her growth as a person, even if we don't get to actively witness it as an audience), Elise faces the inner crisis of transforming into someone she despised through her own hateful and vindictive actions. This leads to a shift in her development in the story. This is the second time in the trilogy where she finds herself relating to her enemy and it acts as a catalyst for her to wake up and course-correct.

This is the start of her development back into her old, sweet, smart and wholesome self! She's not the exact same girl she was at the start - she's a lot tougher now, and a lot less naive, but she realises now that the best way to reach another person is to meet them halfway and show a lot of compassion and understanding. Something she'd always been good at in the past, but a part of herself she had temporarily forgotten. Holly showed her that even the worst people can change, and she has hope that maybe Stephanie can, too.

She still succeeds in getting Steph arrested, though. But more on that later!

Part 3 is coming up. We get the conclusion, as well as Alice and Reggie's arcs in the story (and I haven't mentioned the cat thing yet, have I? That's a whole other thing... it's been a thing since the start, actually. But I never found a good time to bring it up. My sister knows all about it, though. She has all these theories about it and everything lol. But I don't know why I'm going on about it now. You guys have no clue what I'm even talking about.)

Steph's Crew - Book 3 Summary

I was meant to post this last year to sort of close the Steph-related content and focus more on other projects. Actually, I was meant to post a lot of things last year...

Bretanie analysis (on here)

Season 1 of AU (on my second blog)

Jekyll and Hyde, but in the modern world (I've been working on that for fun on the side, and I've decided to post the full story on Wattpad)

Revealing the identity of the secret blogger (I'll probably do it in this post, since it is relevant to this part of the story as well)

I've been so busy, y'all. Sorry for the delays.

I just want to make sure I have time to do everything as best as I possibly can, so you can enjoy it. I think it was less pressure posting the Steph's Crew dialogues and snippets because they were old pieces of work, and since the time I first wrote them, I've neatened it up and made it considerably better than it was... I know that the stuff I've shared isn't the final product, so I don't feel the urge to make it perfect. At least not to the extent that I do with all these other projects lol.

Hopefully this can help make up for lost time. I'll get to the other posts mentioned on that list as soon as possible, but until then... here's a summary of the third and final instalment of Steph's Crew!

Enjoy!

Keep in mind that I'm still working on this one. It isn't finished yet, but I wanted to give you guys a rough idea of how it goes. And prepare for this, because it's pretty unhinged lol. I collaborated with my sister on some of the wackier ideas...

Book 3 is titled "Story of a Broken Thing." It picks up where Book 2 ends off, more or less (or at least, it fills us in on what went down since the end of Book 2). If you can't remember how UVC ended, then here's a link to that summary:

But to put it briefly, the crew have successfully solved the mystery, Brelise have split up again, Bret's gone on tour with his band, Dalice are together, Bephanie is over, and Stephanie got arrested... but then escaped from holding. Nobody knows where she could have gone.

Which leads us to Book 3. It is set a couple of years later (I think about 5 years after Book 2 ended), and a lot of stuff has happened in all that time...

Dylan and Alice have broken up. Wasn't meant to be, I guess. But don't worry - they're still friends, and there's no bad blood between them or anything.

Victor and Jen have unfortunately split up as well, leading to Jen moving back to Texas. Alice decides to go with her. She's doing alright - currently taking some classes at a local college, and helping out at her old dance studio in her spare time. She's also still making YouTube videos.

Bret's band is still doing well. They're not touring anymore at the moment, but they are super busy recording a new album, and filming music videos. Plus, they have been asked to perform at the Jingle Bell Ball towards the end of the year, which is very exciting. Even though he has moved back to the UK, because of the nature of Bret's job, he can't just stay in London with his aunt anymore like how he used to... but he still comes to visit her as often as possible. And he and Elise are still close friends, so that's cool. He's been seeing other people over the past couple of years, though.

Elise and Charlie are together. She decided to give him a chance. They're really happy together and they seem to have a pretty healthy, solid relationship for the most part (they've been together for two years straight by the time Book 3 has started). Charlie still harbours some degree of jealousy/wariness towards Bret, though, since she's still really good friends with him. He's never once brought it up to her, though. But it becomes a big deal in this part of the story... more on that later.

Ben isn't really in this part of the story... at least not until towards the end, when Stephanie randomly decides to call him for some reason. But he's doing fine. Moved back to his cooking job from Book 1 lol. It was good money, and now he doesn't have another person to share it with! Wait, that sad-

And by now, Dylan, Connor (who has finally moved on from Daisy! Thank God), Elise and Charlie have all finished their university courses. Yay!

In fact, this is what kickstarts the plot. Dylan's family (we get to see them again in this one! Specifically his mother, her new husband and his younger brother Sam. I feel like we didn't get enough of them last time) is very proud of him for finishing such a long, tough course (3 years, + 1 foundation year + 1 year of masters), and they decide to reward him with an epic summer trip to Australia. And it is during this holiday that he sees Steph again (she's not in Australia btw - he sees her when he goes with a family friend to the Samoan islands).

She fills him in on how she got there. I haven't neatly worked this part out... but basically, Reggie helped her leave the country (idk whether to make him a villain or some kind of loose cannon/antihero type of guy. Like, he's awful most of the time, but he's also one of Stephanie's oldest friends, and he can be genuinely nice when he wants to be. Especially to her. He needs to be in trouble tho lol. I think the thing about him is that he gets away with his awful behaviour easily, whereas Stephanie is kind of forced to be held accountable, even if she actively runs away from the consequences of her actions sometimes...)

After that, she was stuck on her own again for a while and needed a job. So she applied for a job at a local Natia hotel (Natia is a famous line of hotels... kind of like Hilton, to give a known real-life example). She didn't have enough money for a cab or bus, so she had to walk the whole way there through heavy rain. By the time she got there, she looked terrible lol. But when she arrived, she bumped into a handsome young man who kindly helped her out. He got her a room and some clothes to change into, which helped in making a good first impression and whatnot. She got the job!

Later, she found out that the guy's name was Jordan Natia. The son of the hotel line founder (he also owns the hotel she got a job at). She thanks him for her help, and he invites her for dinner... and the rest is history.

And by history, I mean she ends up marrying him lol. Dylan finds out that she now lives at the resort that he and his family friend are currently staying at. She also has a baby daughter named Mia (short for Miranda. Not suspicious at all). She loves her life so much right now. She's always prided herself on being a strong independent woman who can take care of herself, but she's surprised at how much she's enjoying being a stay-at-home mother and housewife lol. She loves spending time with her baby, and she loves her husband a lot, too. He takes good care of her. However, similar to Ben, he doesn't really know all that much about her (Jordan goes through a similar arc to Ben's in Book 2, where he finds out the truth about Stephanie, and it changes the way he sees her. Minus the cheating lol).

Dylan is shocked at how much Steph has changed since the last time he saw her, but he's happy for her at the same time. He can see that she's genuinely happy and seemingly at peace, which is great.

Meanwhile, back in the UK, Charlie has decided to propose to El. He's taking it VERY seriously - even asked for her family's blessing and everything. They all said yes... even Adam lol (he's grown to like Charles by now). One summer evening, he pops the question (in a truly beautiful and romantic way btw), and Elise says yes in the moment, but she doesn't know if she truly feels ready for marriage yet. Something about the situation feels wrong to her, but she doesn't know what it is. However, instead of communicating her mixed feelings to her now fiance, she decides to distract herself with hangouts with her family and friends, as well as getting into her work and other hobbies, preferring to think about anything other than her problems (man, does THIS sound familiar lol). Charlie starts noticing a change in El's behaviour and it begins to really upset him (especially since Bret is one of the people she starts spending more time with, and we all know how she feels about him), causing more strain in their relationship. It only gets worse when they find out about Stephanie's whereabouts...

Dylan messages the others about his trip everyday through a group chat. One night he reveals that he's reunited with an old friend of theirs and sends a picture of him and Stephanie hanging out. The others are shocked. Elise especially.

The situation started becoming somewhat of a controversy in the news... people started talking about it more online, many blogs and news websites (including The Looking Glass) started covering it. Alice made a video on YouTube talking about it (and it came from the unique angle of her knowing the person from school and being their friend and everything. She didn't mention Steph by name, though). It blew her channel up.

The story of Stephanie's escape was quickly resurfacing back into people's minds after being forgotten for such a long time. And this wasn't good for Steph lol. Especially after finally making a life for herself that she was genuinely truly happy in.

But that's not the end of the story.

I'll tell you the rest in part 2 of this summary!

[goddess-of-green]

omg just found your account and i'm in love hey, could you do akatsuki headcannons of them being jealous cause u r talking to another member in a flirty way, hope that makes sense. xx

Warnings: Fem!Reader, language, suggestive themes

• Tobi

◊ Let me tell you, Deidara is on thin fucking ice

◊ He is constantly flirting with you and when you remind him that you're with Tobi he just scoffs and keeps flirting like you're joking

◊ Tobi is very protective and even though he trusts you he gets jealous and insecure very easily

◊ He probably wouldn't directly confront Deidara about it but he would do subtle things to make it apparent that you are Tobi's cute lover, not Deidara's

◊ He would come up behind you and pull you close, chirping about how much he loves you, and how much you love him, while Deidara rolls his eyes

◊ Please just hug him and reassure him that you love him, it makes him melt every time

◊ "Tobi just gets...worried Y/N-Chan...He- I love you..."

• Pain

◊ Pain is majorly territorial

◊ He will threaten anyone if he even suspects that they have intentions

◊ He will attack someone if they continuously flirt with you but he tries not to if it's an Akatsuki member

◊ That being said, when Zetsu keeps flirting with you he gets mad

◊ Generally dislikes PDA but he will resort to it if Zetsu doesn't let up

◊ He'd pull you into his lap or use terms of endearment in front of everyone

◊ "As my goddess, you shall always stay by my side. I will not let anyone get in the way of that."

• Itachi

◊ He's so insecure

◊ Itachi would be very possessive but would repress it

◊ He would subtly threaten someone, or remind them who you belong to if their flirting starts to get out of hand

◊ Itachi tries very hard not to say anything, but he will seek your attention if you've been giving someone else a lot of your time

◊ Deidara flirts with you constantly, and you're pretty sure it's just because he hates Itachi

◊ Itachi will just eerily stare at him over you shoulder until he stops

◊ "Love...stay with me for a while, please."

• Kisame

◊ He is soo possessive

◊ He trusts you 100%, but he's still paranoid you may leave him for someone else

◊ He's super passive aggressive when someone tries to flirt with you

◊ Generally his appearance alone is enough to scare off anyone that wants you but there are exceptions

◊ Tobi doesn't outright flirt with you but he compliments you constantly and tries to get very close to you, too close for Kisame's liking

◊ Kisame will lurk and give you lots of affection so that Tobi knows your his, he is also not above marking you

◊ "You're mine, sweetheart. I want everyone to know that."

• Kakuzu

◊ This man, will beat some ass

◊ If anyone even looks at his darling the wrong way, they are toast

◊ He won't do PDA, like ever, but he will scare people off in other ways

◊ Is not above killing someone if they get too close to you

◊ Kakuzu trusts you...but not anyone else

◊ Don't make fun of him for getting jealous, just run your fingers through his hair and tell him how strong he is, that will cool him down much faster

◊ "If anyone even dares to touch you...I will have their heart."

• Sasori

◊ He'd make someone a puppet if they said the wrong thing to you

◊ He'll openly threaten anyone that gets too close to you

◊ Depending on who is flirting with you, he'll respond with varying degrees of aggression but he'll never ignore it

◊ Kakuzu shows interest in you and it pisses Sasori off

◊ Sasori and Kakuzu have had a lot of passive aggressive stand-offs, but neither of them are savage enough to just start fighting over a girl in front of the entire Akatsuki

◊ You are a work of art and like in a museum, no one is allowed to touch the exhibit

◊ "I simply cannot allow these imbeciles to disrespect you with their dirty words."

• Deidara

◊ He will never admit it but he is slightly insecure

◊ Tobi always flirts with you just to mess with him

◊ He knows you would never even think of leaving him for Tobi but it still pisses him off

◊ If you respond positively to Tobi's flirting, -like giggling or even just letting him continue to flirt with you- then Deidara will get mad

◊ He'll tell you how much of an idiot that Tobi is and how you shouldn't even waste your time in his presence and, and-

◊ You just need to kiss him and make sure he knows you'd never leave him, especially not for someone like Tobi

◊ "You are art, un. Art that no else is allowed to admire but me."

• Hidan

◊ Arguably the worst of all the Akatsuki in regards to jealousy

◊ He's not insecure and he doesn't think for even a second that you'd leave him but it pisses him the fuck off when anyone even tries to flirt with you

◊ He will throw down, he doesn't give a damn who's flirting with you

◊ Hidan respects you a lot, but he can be objectifying and possessive sometimes

◊ It's actually because he respects you that he wants you to himself so much

◊ He'll do anything to get someone away from you and assert his dominance, including kissing you in front of them, attacking them, hell, he'd even fuck you in front of them to get the point across

◊ "You're fucking mine okay? I won't let anyone else have you."

• Konan

◊ Konan is a bit insecure that you'd leave her, poor baby has baggage

◊ She wouldn't necessarily get jealous very easily, but she would get insecure if you were giving someone else a lot of your time and were spending more time away from her

◊ If someone is openly saying lewd things about your or being pushy, that's when Konan starts to get upset

◊ She has no problem with putting them in their place or simply pulling you close and making your relationship apparent

◊ Like Pain, Konan isn't really one for PDA, but she will certainly do it if it means others will keep their hands to themselves, we're looking at you, Hidan

◊ Overall, Konan's fairly passive as far as jealousy goes, but you should still take the time to make sure she knows you love her, she appreciates it

◊ "I get...worried, darling. What if someone tries to take you from me?"

• Zetsu

◊ Zetsu is a little complicated with jealousy, but both sides agree that you are theirs, and no one has a right to touch you but them

◊ If someone keeps flirting with you, he can generally scare them off by just being there, especially if he makes it clear that you are his

◊ PDA is definitely not his thing but he'll lean in and give you kiss just so that everyone knows who you belong to

◊ Black Zetsu is literally outraged when anyone tries anything with you, and he will 100% try to at least maim them

◊ White Zetsu is much more laid back but unlike Black Zetsu he gets insecure, he sometimes worries that you would rather have a human lover, which plants other insecurities in his head that he's not good enough for you

◊ How aggressively he reacts essentially depends on who and how much they're flirting with you, but no matter who it is, they are not safe

◊ "You are mine. And I am yours."

[anthonysfuneral]

Billy Hargrove & Intermittent Explosive Disorder

"Anthony, when will you stop posting about Billy Hargrove's trauma?"

Never. Next question.

Anyway, obviously I'm not a licensed psychologist. I'm literally a 16 year old junior in high school. But lately, it's been a little worm in my brain on what mental illness Billy might possibly suffer from as a result of his trauma, besides the obvious PTSD.

And in the end, when it came to narrowing it down from bipolar to borderline, I landed on IED: intermittent explosive disorder.

Most of my information is coming from Mayo Clinic, so I'll just be copy and pasting information from their page on this disorder and attaching instances of Billy's behavior that fit the descriptions.

"Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation."

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. This is behavior Billy exhibits throughout quite literally the entire show.

"These intermittent, explosive outbursts cause you significant distress, negatively impact your relationships, work and school, and they can have legal and financial consequences."

Throughout the show, Billy seems to constantly be under duress. You can attribute these feelings to his situation (let it be his abuse or possession), but you can clearly see how upset he gets after he explodes at Neil over Max not being his sister. It's no question the way Billy acts isolates him from the rest of the party, either. There's not much insight into the last two I can pull, so I won't go into them.

"Explosive eruptions occur suddenly, with little or no warning, and usually last less than 30 minutes. These episodes may occur frequently or be separated by weeks or months of nonaggression. Less severe verbal outbursts may occur in between episodes of physical aggression. You may be irritable, impulsive, aggressive or chronically angry most of the time."

A lot of the time time, there's no build up to Billy's violent episodes. They often last for short periods, as well. These episodes occur constantly throughout the show, and when they're not involving violent physical altercations, Billy is either yelling at Max or someone else. I don't think I need to go into detail on that last point: one of Billy's key traits is his constant anger.

"Aggressive episodes may be preceded or accompanied by:

Rage (Self-explanatory.)

Irritability (ALSO self-explanatory.)

Increased energy (If you watch some of Billy's body language, you can see he is CONSTANTLY moving, especially when he's angry. I.e:

Tingling (See below.)

Tremors (Hi. This is below. I say that because tingling is essentially internal tremors. And when do we see Billy tremoring? Once again, nearly all the time.)

Palpitations (Billy seems to constantly be in an intense state, so it'd be no surprise for his heart to palpitate.)

Chest tightness (This can go with what I said above.)

"The explosive verbal and behavioral outbursts are out of proportion to the situation, with no thought to consequences, and can include:

Temper tantrums (Billy is almost always constantly angry or sobbing.)

Tirades (Whenener he goes off on Max or her friends.)

Heated arguments (Almost every interaction of his with Max.)

Shouting (Almost every interaction in general.)

Slapping, shoving or pushing (How he fights with Max/his dad on occasion.)

Physical fights (His altercation with Steve.)

Property damage ("You know what happens when you disobey me? I break things.")

Threatening or assaulting people or animals (His constant threats toward others.)"

"You may feel a sense of relief and tiredness after the episode. Later, you may feel remorse, regret or embarrassment."

Billy seems almost burnt out after every outburst he has.

"Intermittent explosive disorder can begin in childhood — after the age of 6 years — or during the teenage years. It's more common in younger adults than in older adults. The exact cause of the disorder is unknown, but it's probably caused by a number of environmental and biological factors.

Environment. Most people with this disorder grew up in families where explosive behavior and verbal and physical abuse were common. Being exposed to this type of violence at an early age makes it more likely these children will exhibit these same traits as they mature.

Genetics. There may be a genetic component, causing the disorder to be passed down from parents to children.

Differences in how the brain works. There may be differences in the structure, function and chemistry of the brain in people with intermittent explosive disorder compared to people who don't have the disorder."

You don't see Billy's anger in a lot of his flashbacks, but it's a focal point of his character in the seasons he's present within, in which he's a teenager being on the cusp of young adulthood. It's no question that Billy grew up in a troubled environment or that Neil also has the disorder, so those are two EXTREMELY likely causes for him to inherit the disorder.

"Risk factors

These factors increase your risk of developing intermittent explosive disorder:

History of physical abuse. People who were abused as children or experienced multiple traumatic events have an increased risk of intermittent explosive disorder.

History of other mental health disorders. People who have antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder or other disorders that include disruptive behaviors, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), have an increased risk of also having intermittent explosive disorder."

It's also no question that Billy grew up in a physically abusive environment with Neil, and it's clear he already suffers from PTSD. Two very clear risk factors.

—

So, anyway. All that being said, I believe there is a VERY likely chance Billy has intermittent explosive disorder. I know this probably wasn't an intended choice on the part of the Stranger Things crew, but I like thinking of Billy more realistically suffering from his trauma. The most we see as a reaction is his angry and depressive outbursts, and that's simply not all there is to trauma stemming from childhood abuse.

Also. I'd kill for someone to use this as a fic concept.

Feel free to add onto this if you please! This is just my brainrot.

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

I will never understand abusers. I was talking with my friend and she told me that her dad's father (her granddad) was so against his and her mom's relationship he literally punched her for standing up for her dad. He passed before she was born but the stuff he did to her parents were just god awful.

I have a special kind of hatred towards abusive/toxic people (which is why I snap/go rapid when I see it in media or people) like I was unlucky and have a physically and mentally abusive father and my mom is emotionally manipulative and very neglectful.

I live with my father still in my grandmothers house (she literally knows all the shit he’s done and refuses to do/say anything and always defends my father and everytime I ‘try’ to argue back they essentially threaten to throw me on the streets for acting like a crazy bitch ‘just like your mother’)

It’s just fucking disgusting and horrible that it’s 2022 (almost 2023) and this shit is still so common??? Like literally emotional abuse isn’t something you can be arrested for and going to authorities is significantly more dangerous since THEY DONT FUCKING PROTECT YOU. Like my dad was horrible to my mom (he straight up was an alcoholic and a drug addict who refused to work and he constantly threatened to hurt/kill me or my brother if our mother didn’t fucking do whatever he wanted)

My mom, went to the fucking police over this. Their advice? “Just move, it’s not that hard.” They basically wouldn’t help until we had solid evidence or one of us was badly hurt. My mom got better with us (she was only aggressive towards us since our father targed her the most, but once she left he targeted me) and left us with our father, thinking she was the problem.

Obviously, that didn’t help. And she divorced our father, which was really bloody and it’s been over 7 years and my dad still threatens her (and us) and we’ve gone to the police, and we’re told the only way they’d do anything is if we press charges.

Why the fuck would we press charges if THEY WON’T PROTECT US DURING THE PROCESS??? Our father is a hunter with a fuck ton of guns, bows & arrows, and UNMARKED GUNS.

We are not going to do anything to worsen the situation obviously, but since if WE leave, he’d hurt or grandmother, she REFUSES to leave or kick him out, even though it’s HER house. My mom is my grandmas daughter. My grandma on my dads side has been missing for over 2 years. He keeps saying he has her in a retirement home, but he won’t tell us and he just came home with her dog one day and gave it to his new girlfriend…

Sorry to just vent but my family is a fucking disaster, and I feel bad when I snap at people for doing similar thinks bc for lack of better words…it ‘triggers’ me I guess and I end up lashing out and having issues controlling my emotions.

(Only upside is I joke about my trauma all the time and it might be alarming to others it’s lowkey amusing for me to just laugh it off than to ever try to confront it)

I should probably meantion I was going to therapy when I was 10-20 and it just…didn’t work, I’m on a lot of medication that kinda helps and my brother wants me to get a therapist but honestly I’m not sure it’ll do anything. I’ve been through 5 therapist and honestly I think I stress them more than they help me.

I feel bad for your friends parents though, that’s just so bad…at least, it sounds like their parents do actually care for each other, and I’m sorry your father was hit, I’m genuinely surprised he stood up to his dad, I would be way too scared.

Your friends dad is hella fucking brave and I’m happy to know he at least ended up having a nice family of his own. He deserves to be happy!

[likealittleheartbeat]

I deeply appreciate how ATLA depicts all the main characters responses to trauma. Aang’s, for me, however, stands out for its rareness in media. And we are not hammered over the head with the idea that Aang (or any other characters) repeatedly act certain ways because of a single traumatic event. Sure, there are key moments in our lives when a certain event comes to the forefront, but no one experiences the world as constant flashbacks. Rather, we see only in retrospect the way our sarcastic sense of humor or our heightened friendliness were protective responses to a deep emotional injury. Being able to understand Aang’s approach to loss is essential for the show. The structure of the series is founded on his arc (despite an incredible foil provided by Zuko). Our little air nomad initially confronts the loss of his people with a full-on meltdown in the episode “The Southern Air Temple,” where Katara’s offering of familial belonging soothes him. But this kind of outburst is not Aang’s primary response (and actually the literally out-of-character apocalyptic tantrums align with Aang’s overall process of grieving). Instead of constantly brooding (hey Zuko!), Aang leans heavily toward the monk’s pacifist teachings and toward his assumed destiny “to save the world.” He becomes overtly accommodating and joyful, constantly trying to see “the good” in everything with a perfectionist’s zeal. This is not to ascribe his bubbliness only to his trauma. Rather, he comes to emphasize this part of his personality for reasons related to the negative emotions he struggles to face.  Book 1: Water

In the first season, Aang is simply rediscovering his place in the world. “Water is the element of change. The people of the water tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together.” This is vital to Aang as he initially faces his experience. He won’t get through this if he is not prepared for his life to change. Even if he hadn’t been frozen for 100 years, his world would never be the same. This fact involves eventually finding new people that he feels safe with. After such a massive loss, he’s learning who to trust, and also often making mistakes; not only does he find Sokka and Katara (and I’d argue he’s actually slow to truly open up to them), this is the season where he helps save a fire nation citizen who betrays him to soldiers, befriends the rebel extremist Jet, and attempts to befriend an actively belligerent Zuko (his moral complexity had only JUST! been revealed to the kid!). He’s constantly offering trust to others and seeking their approval in opposition to the deep well of shame and guilt he carries as a survivor of violence. This is also the season where Aang swears off firebending after burning Katara in an overeager attempt to master the element (one will note how fire throughout the series is aligned with, above all else, assertiveness and yang). Aang is so eager to be seen as morally good to others that he refuses to risk any possible harm to them.  And asserting himself carries a danger, in one sense, that he might make a mistake and lose someone’s positive regard, and, in another sense, that he is replicating the anger and violence he’s witnessed. He has no relationship to his anger at this stage of his grief, so it comes out uncontrollably, both in firebending and the Avatar State. It’s through the patience of his new family that he can begin to feel unashamed about his past and about the ways his shame is finding (sometimes violent) expression in the present. Book 2: Earth In the second season he begins to trust himself and stand his ground. Earth, after all, is the element of substance, persistence, and endurance. The “Bitter Work” episode encapsulates how Aang must come to a more sturdy sense of his values. First, there is the transition of pedagogical style. While Katara emphasized support and kindness, Toph insists on blunt and threatening instruction, not for a lack of care towards Aang. Instead, it’s so Aang learns how to stop placing the desires of others above his own--to stop accommodating everyone else above his own needs. Toph taunts Aang by stealing one of the few keepsakes from the monastery that he holds onto. This attachment to the lost airbending culture is echoed in the larger arc with Appa. And, by the end of this episode, it is Aang’s attachment to Sokka that allows him to stand firm. This foreshadows the capital T Tragic downfall in the “Crossroads of Destiny.” Aang gives up his attachment to the other member of his new found family, Katara, despite his moral qualms. Although he has access to all the power of the Avatar state, his sacrifice is not rewarded. Season 2 illustrates Aang coming to terms with his values. He is learning about what he stands for, what holds meaning to him. Understanding himself also includes integrating his grief, and there’s a lonely and dangerous aspect to that exploration. We see Aang’s anger and hopelessness over longer stretches rather than outbursts in this season. It’s hard to watch and hard to root for him. That depressive state leads to actions that counter his previous sense of morality, as he decisively kills an animal, treats his friends unkindly, and blames others for his loss. Letting these harsher feelings emerge is an experiment, and most people discover their boundaries by crossing them. Finding ways to hold compassion for himself, even the harm he causes others, is the other side of this process. Our past and our challenging emotions are a part of us, but they are only a part. Since Aang now has a strong sense of community and is learning to be himself rather than simply seeking validation, we also see him having more healthy boundaries with new people. He’s no longer befriending villains in the second season! He’s respectful and trusting enough, but he’s not putting himself in vulnerable situations nor blindly trusting everyone. Instead, he’s more likely to listen to his friends’ opinions or think about how the monks might’ve been critical towards something (they’re complaints about Ba Sing Se, for example). By knowing what he cares for, he can know himself, the powerful, loving, grief-struck monk. And he can trust that, though he might not be everyone’s favorite person, he does not need to feel ashamed or guilty for who he is or what he’s been through. Book 3: Fire However, despite a sense of self and a sense of belonging, Aang and the group still find themselves constantly asking for permission throughout their time in Ba Sing Se. It’s in the third season, Fire, that initiative and assertiveness become the focus. And who better to provide guidance in this than the official prince of “you never think these things through,” Zuko. It’s no longer a time for avoidance or sturdy defensiveness. It is the season of action. Fire is the element of power, desire, and will, all of which require us to impact others.  We see the motif of initiative throughout the season: the rebels attempt to storm the Firelord on the Day of the Black Sun; Aang attempts to share his feelings and kiss Katara; Katara bends Hama and a couple of fire nation soldiers to her will. In each of these examples, the initiators face disgrace. Positive intent does not bring forth success, by any means, only more consequences to be dealt with. This is perhaps Aang’s biggest challenge. He is afraid that his actions will fail, or worse, they will succeed but he will be wrong in what he has chosen. The sequencing in the series, here, is important. We have already seen how Aang has worked to care for (and appreciate) the well-being of others and how he has learned to care for his own needs. With this in mind, he should be able to trust that his actions will derive from these wells of compassion. But easier said than done. Compassion can also trap him into indecision, hearkening back to his avoidant mistake in the storm, in which the whole mess began. Aang’s internal conflict, here, becomes more pronounced as the finale draws nearer. I think it’s especially significant that we witness Aang disagreeing with his mentors and friends. He must act in a way that will contradict and even threaten his sources of support if he is to trust his own desires. Even the fandom disagrees about the choice Aang makes, which further highlights the fact that making a decisive choice is contentious. There is no point in believing it will grant you love or admiration or success. For someone who began (and spent much of) the series regularly sacrificing himself just to bring others peace, Aang’s decision to prioritize his own interests despite the very explicit possibility of failure is the ultimate growth his character can have and the ultimate representation of him processing his trauma. (This arc was echoed and made even more explicit in many ways with Adora in the She-ra finale.) The last significant time Aang followed his desire, in his mind, was when he escaped the Air Temple in the storm. To want something, to trust his desire and act on it, is an act of incredible courage for him, and whether it succeeded or failed, whether anyone agrees or disagrees with it, it offered Aang a sense of peace and resolution. Now I appreciate and love Zuko’s iconic redemption arc, but Aang’s subtler arc, which subverts the “chosen one” narrative and broke ground to represent a prevalent emotional experience, stands out to me as the foundation for the show I love so much.

[itsclydebitches]

I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin. 

I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense. 

Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face. 

This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection”  — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times. 

The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away. 

All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on. 

Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is? 

From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant. 

Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really —  it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d  try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do. 

So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️

***

2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE! 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

You probably have gone over it before but what are your opinions on Romione (Ron x Hermione)

I actually haven’t.

Well, probably not a surprise given the hints I’ve dropped, but I’m not a fan of this one either.

However, that said, ships are on a scale. Romione bores me but it’s not in the “this would never happen and fans are deluding themselves” area that some very popular ships end up in. I don’t argue with it being a possibility or that this is where canon ended up.

Now, that aside, what’s up with Ron/Hermione.

Well, it’s that quintessential 90′s romance. The pair bicker constantly, all they do is fight with one another, we later learn that they did this because they were secretly attracted to one another. Now they’re dating and they still bicker constantly.

It was a big trope for a while but I was rarely, if ever now that I think about it, sold on it.

It’s sort of “The Lady Doth Protest Too Much” except, No, the Lady really Doth Protest Too Much. All Hermione and Ron do is bicker and fight, they don’t even really seem to like each other at the end of the day, and I can’t see them ever really being happy together in the long term.

So, why can I see it happening? Well.

Why Does Hermione Go For Ron?

I’ve gone over this before, but part of it I think is that Harry’s off the table and Hermione has accepted that very early. Harry never shows any interest in Hermione as anything other than a friend and Hermione knows it.

Now, Ron never does either, at least for a while, but I think Ron is a safer option in a lot of ways. He’s a part of the golden trio but he’s not its heart, he’s important to the three of them, but Harry is the heart and soul of the group. If Hermione ruins things with Harry, then everything falls apart. If things don’t work out with Ron, well, the three of them have spats every now and then and Ron will probably come back if it goes wrong.

Basically, I think Hermione gravitates towards Ron because by being with Ron the golden trio remains as it is. They’re still Hermione, Harry, and Ron. If Hermione brings in an outsider, the entire dynamic gets thrown off, suddenly there’s a fourth there or Hermione has to split her time between Ron and Harry and New Guy.

Ultimately, I think Hermione values her friendship with Harry and Ron (the only friendships she’s ever had in her life) more than she does dating someone like, oh, Viktor Krum. 

Hermione also seems to like dating guys she feels safely smarter than. Hermione places all her value in her intelligence, and frankly, when it comes to Harry and Ron she’s kind of right to. They clearly value her as a friend mostly because she’s the nerd research homework friend. They make it very clear that she’s really only tolerated at best and constantly walking on thin ice.

Everything in Hermione’s life confirms that, if she doesn’t have her intelligence and hard work to offer up, then she’ll be dropped like it’s hot. So, per the end of canon, and I think probably for the rest of her life given she marries Ron, Hermione will never pursue someone who threatens these qualities. Because if she introduces someone in her life who’s at least as smart as her (if not god forbid smarter), then what’s the point of Hermione Granger?

Ron’s dumber and far lazier than Hermione. Oh, Ron’s not necessarily as stupid as Harry (who is dumb as bricks), but he is fundamentally lazier and thanks to his worse grades will be a nice, safe, choice for Hermione who can be assured that Ron will always need her.

He might resent her for it now and then, but he does need her.

Why Does Ron Go For Hermione?

Surprisingly, I think Ron gets together with Hermione for similar reasons. For a very long time he shows -1 interest in Hermione. She’s the ugly girl friend who’s pretty much one of the dudes.

This changes when others start going after Hermione.

With Victor at the Yule Ball, suddenly, the golden trio is threatened. Hermione can clean up into an attractive young woman, people outside their tight knit friend circle can be interested, and suddenly Hermione can leave if she wants to.

For the longest time it was a long accepted truth that for better or worse Hermione was stuck with them. So Ron could rag on her, get pissed about the Firebolt fiasco, pretty much anything and Hermione would eventually be back because she has nowhere else to go.

I think the Yule Ball was the first wake-up call that this isn’t true. Hermione can leave, she just has to find the courage to do so.

Well, Ron brushes that off after Hermione’s relationship with Viktor pretty much goes nowhere. And then we get sixth year, Ron has a girlfriend (which is nice until she starts expecting things of him), but worse McLaggen starts showing interest in Hermione.

Essentially, I think Ron dates Hermione and convinces himself he’s attracted to her so that no one else can date Hermione.

He reasons that they fight all the time because they actually like each other. And if they date, nothing actually changes. (And as he becomes increasingly paranoid that Harry himself is into Hermione it all just starts sort of spiraling out of control.)

Basically, I think Ron and Hermione end up together to ensure that everything remains as it was. And it does, because Harry’s relationship with Ginny is practically non-existent (it’s very telling that Ginny does not join them on the horcrux hunt and is essentially left to be murdered or taken hostage by Voldemort). 

So What Now?

The future for Hermione and Ron is, not necessarily bleak, but it’s not particularly good and ultimately quite dull.

They still fight constantly, Rose and Hugo watch their mother and father have daily screaming matches with each other over nothing. They assume this is normal and just what parents do.

Hermione’s the overbearing and very accomplished wife and bread winner that Ron secretly resents. They both know he resents her for it, neither says this out loud.

Ron’s laziness caught up with him and he just works in George’s very successful store. Ron doesn’t even really like pranks, George does most of the work, but Ron is too myopic to actually leave and do anything else. Just like all his life, he’s overshadowed by his older brothers, his wife, and his best friend. He is a pit of bitterness that he tries not to let show. His wife certainly knows.

They’re an extremely dysfunctional, bitter, couple who stays together thanks to inertia, expectations, nostalgia, and the desperate desire to keep things the same. Harry obliviously doesn’t notice and whenever the three get together (sans Ginny as she’s not invited) he notes how great it is that their amazing friendship has survived all these years.

They have shitty sex once a week. It’s probably circled on Hermione’s calendar in their bedroom, “Sunday, 9:00pm, Sex with Ron”.

Rinse and repeat for the rest of their lives. 

Really Though, I Just Have 0 Interest in the Ship

I can’t tell you why it does but it bores me to tears. It just does. Every single aspect of it. Even the dysfunction is boring.

To quote a friend:

If ships had literal boat counterparts, this would be the dullest kind of ship, it would be a wooden motor boat with no exciting speeds, it just put-put-puts out to fish and then returns to port.

- @therealvinelle

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 1

I said a long ways back that I thought the switch from Angel to Spike as Buffy’s primary love interest represented an interesting evolution in the show’s attitude towards—and interrogation of—romanticism, and I finally felt like expanding on what I meant by that. This is very long, very meandering, and not terribly academic or well-edited, but I hope there’s something of interest in it nonetheless. It is about 20,000 words in total, and will discuss, in more or less chronological order, the arc of the show’s attitude towards romanticism as it is embodied in Spike, Angel, Buffy and Buffy’s relationships with both of them. I was going to release it as one long post, but because it’s so long, I figured a series of posts might be more readable. Here’s the first one.

* 

“When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

Both Spike and Angel are at once capital-R Romantic figures, and lower-case romantic interests, and in both cases that Romantic/romantic duality is what makes them such effective avatars for ideas around romanticism. In the case of Angel, the show is aware from the beginning that he is very much a Romantic idea of something. In “Welcome to the Hellmouth” Buffy describes him as “dark” and “gorgeous”, evoking the “tall, dark and handsome” cliche. He’s mysterious. He gives her a necklace and his coat, gestures out of high school romance fiction.* In “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” Giles lampshades the romance of him: “A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way.” Initially, Angel is basically designed to be a teenage girl fantasy, and it’s no coincidence that his successors like Edward Cullen or Stefan Salvatore conform to similar tropes.

*(Think of how five seasons later, a vampire will give Dawn his letterman jacket in “All the Way”. It’s hard not to read as a deliberate echo of Angel’s gift in season one. Once again, a vampire makes romantic gestures towards a high school version of “Buffy”, and later turns on her. But more on this much later in the series.)

The difference between Angel and those other, more typical Supernatural Romance love interests however, is that the show ultimately attempts to subvert the romance of him. As part of its commentary on Gothic themes, season two makes Angel more Romantic than ever (the Claddagh, the tormented past), and makes the romance between him and Buffy central to the story in a way it wasn’t in season one. And then, of course, the season tears it all apart. The first time we learn what Angel did to Drusilla it’s horrifying, but still somehow abstract. Something that seems more like it’s meant to contribute to Angel’s dangerous, Byronic image. As in, something to make him more Romantic. And then suddenly it becomes real. Suddenly, it’s something that Angel could do to Buffy, or the people Buffy cares about. It turns out that his darkly romantic aura was not just an aura, but genuinely dark all along.

In turn, Angel’s devastating transformation is a metaphor for broader disillusionment about romantic ideas. It’s less to me about a “guy going bad after sex”, and more about what it means and feels like to have the scales fall from one’s eyes in that sort of situation. As Buffy copes with the fallout of Angel’s transformation, and later is forced to kill him, I see it as being about the tragedy of having to see the world in ways that are less simple, easy, or pretty as one gets older. As Buffy and Giles say in “Lie To Me”:

BUFFY: Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get. 

GILES: I believe that's called growing up. 

For more on this, I recommend this livejournal post on “Lie To Me”, which goes into great depth on the way season two frames stories as pretty lies that one needs to look beneath, and how Buffy’s romanticization of Angel symbolizes that.

The whole arc of the season is Buffy’s failure to see the danger presented by Angel. In this opening scene that danger is foreshadowed. More to the point for this essay, Angel goes on to lie to Buffy about having encountered Drusilla. He doesn’t want Buffy to know about the nature of Angelus – which means that his first inclination is to mask the danger he presents to Buffy. This is one episode after Halloween, where Buffy’s romantic fantasies about what Angel wants (a damsel) nearly get her killed. Nor is she completely over those fantasies, as she notes that the mystery woman talking to Angel had a pretty old-fashioned dress. So against the backdrop of Buffy’s fantasies about her dark and mysterious boyfriend we have the truth about what he is, which is quite horrifying.

Season three then takes this to another level, by not just pointing out the darkness of the romance of Angel, but in fact puncturing his romantic image. Instead of emphasizing his dangerousness, as season two did, season three emphasizes his adulthood. It emphasizes the way that Angel is someone Buffy sees in secret, or away from her friends. He’s not integrated with her teenage, high school life, and doesn’t fit with the peppy, high school movie aesthetic that characterizes a lot of season three. By doing this, the writing indicates that at this point in their lives, Buffy and Angel are ultimately incompatible and holding each other back. Regardless of however much they might care for each other, Angel can’t fully appreciate her teenage longings like dances, and college, and having a boyfriend. And Buffy can’t fully appreciate his adult need to find himself on his own terms. By the end of season three, Angel is less of a shadowy, tragic figure, and more just an adult man who needs to finally grow up a bit.

Season three also starts making jokes where the punchline is that Angel isn’t living up to the romantic aesthetic he embodied in seasons one and two. In “Helpless”, for example, he and Buffy have an exchange where he waxes sincerely about wanting to “keep [her heart] safe, to warm it with [his own]” and although Buffy says the sentiment is beautiful, a second later she deadpans: “Or taken literally, incredibly gross.” To which Angel replies, “I was just thinking that, too.” Or in “Graduation Day, Part 1”, Angel trips on a doorway instead of making a silent entrance and Buffy again deadpans: “Stealthy.” Angel’s romance slips at moments when Buffy herself is feeling weak, either because she has lost her Slayer powers, or she’s investigating the scene of her sister Slayer’s crime. Her Romantic Slayer half is betraying her, and her romantic girlish half is feeling insecure. This is echoed by the reminder that Angel is no longer a straightforward fantasy man--or a terrifying, larger-than-life villain--but a guy who is sometimes both verbally and physically inelegant. 

(Notice how one of the few times season two makes similar jokes about Angel it’s in “Lie to Me”, the very same episode that begins to peel off the layers of deceptions and unknowns about him. Angel slumps around Willow’s bedroom and jokes about “honing [his] brooding skills”, he insists that the vampire wannabes know nothing about vampires right before a guy walks by wearing his exact outfit, and Xander runs color commentary, saying “you’re not wrong” after each of Ford’s observations. In “Lie to Me” one of Angel’s hidden faces is his dangerousness, yes. But another hidden face is simply his human awkwardness.)

There’s an interesting Slayage piece by Elizabeth Gilliland that discusses the idea of Angel as a Gothic double for Buffy, specifically connecting him to the story of Jekyll and Hyde. It argues that Angel’s split identities represent Buffy’s fears that her human and Slayer halves are irreconcilable, and she cannot fully control either half. In season three, the fact that Buffy and Angel must continuously resist a loss of control with each other, and are treated as romantically incompatible, reflects this fear. 

In Season Three, replete with various factors in Buffy’s life that threaten to put her role as Slayer and girl into imbalance once more [...] Angel once again returns [...]. The season culminates in an attempted attack on Buffy’s classmates during graduation, which essentially forces her to “out” herself to her community and combine her roles as Slayer and daughter, classmate, and friend for the first time publicly (“Graduation Day: Part 2” 3.22). The worst has happened: her secret has been revealed, the entire school knows about both of her personas, and she has not only survived, but emerged with a stronger sense of self [...] Buffy has conquered her first Gothic fear, and proven to herself that she can not only exercise control over both dualities of her persona, but allow them to peacefully co-exist. Thus, Angel’s continuing struggle with Angelus can no longer act as her shadow, and he literally and metaphorically leaves her to continue the rest of her journey.

It’s an interpretation I mostly agree with, and see a lot of evidence for. But in keeping with the focus of this series, I think you could also read Angel as embodying a duality between the romantic and the unromantic. In this view, Buffy’s struggle between her human and her Slayer halves is not just a struggle between personas, but a struggle to see the world correctly. In season one, it’s not Angel that revives Buffy in “Prophecy Girl”, because Angel is a vampire trope just like the Master. He cannot help her, because he is exactly the kind of traditional romantic concept--like a candle-lit cavern, an ancient Nosferatu-looking vampire, or a Chosen Hero duty--that Buffy is trying to escape. In season two, loss of control is specifically associated with passion, romance, and romanticism. Buffy’s human half longs for the romantic, but her Slayer half, and Angel’s vampire half, prove that sometimes the romantic is something dangerous and violent. The fact that Buffy’s Slayer identity and Angel’s Angelus identity both end up being outed by the end of the season (especially to Joyce, a figure of Buffy’s human home life), echoes Buffy’s loss of innocence. Season three then continues this suspicion of passion. Buffy fears that like Faith, enjoying the violence and power and desire of being a Slayer, means that she will go down a dark path. She also fears that indulging in her sexual and romantic desire for Angel will unleash Angelus. To some extent, these fears are even borne out, given that her love for Angel results in her attempted murder of Faith, and near death at Angel’s hands. But to some extent they also aren’t, given that she, Faith and Angel all live. 

To me, what really gets resolved at the end of season three is not quite the issue of Buffy’s human and Slayer halves, given that Buffy will continue to struggle with that duality until the end of the show. Rather, what gets resolved is the need for binaries. Binaries are romantic things. When Giles gives his speech to Buffy at the end of “Lie To Me”, it is the language of binaries that he uses:

GILES: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. 

BUFFY: Liar.

In season three, Buffy thinks she must resist both Faith and Angel. She thinks she can only be either a human girl or a Slayer leader. Many plots in season three have to do with the danger of binaries, whether that’s the witch-hunting parents in “Gingerbread”, Willow dealing with her vampire self in “Doppelgangland”, the various alter-egos in “Beauty and the Beasts”, or Cordy choosing a Buffy-less world in “The Wish”. And no character in the Buffyverse embodies the concept of binaries so starkly as Angel does. Thus by the end of season three, Buffy collapses the binaries within herself by merging the human and Slayer parts of her life, as Gilliland observes, and taking on Faith’s traits. She acknowledges her shadow by kissing her tenderly on the forehead, and bids farewell to the illusions and binaries that Angel embodies. Buffy is leaving that part of her life behind, and starting a new chapter where she can no longer split either the world, or herself, into any one thing or another.

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id