#like its rubbing alcohol or milk

[i-like-books-and-women]

Welcome back to the bits of soup I deem good enough for the public:

Angel 100% thought Zach and Ruben were dating for a hot second. It would've been like somewhere in between after the talent show and before canon starts. But either way I think it went something like this.

Ruben: yeah so there's this guy

Zach: ooh guy?

Angel: oh do you guys have an open relationship?

Zach & Ruben: what-

Angel: aren't you dating?

Zach: i mean ruben's an amazing person but I'm straight-

Angel was then confused about this for the next like month. After this interaction he ran it by Jon and Jon was like "bro what planet do you live on?". Then after Zach and Ruben came out to Jon and Angel, Angel pulled Jon aside and was like "fuck you I knew it I was right".

Secondary thought. After Zach and Ruben got their shit together but before Jon and Angel knew (that's a time window of like 2 weeks right??? I don't remember lol) they like put together that something was going on and were trying to make the math math. Eventually Angel got to "they've gotta me a thing man no way they aren't" which was very "I've connected the dots. You didn't connect shit. I've connected them.)

[sinvilles]

more thoughts: Clay and his alcoholism

to reiterate my first point from the last post:

I'm not concerned with whether any character in the series was "redeemed" or not. the show was cut in half, and so was every character arc. hence we end up with a show that got cancelled when all the main characters were at their lowest point of development in the narrative, and all the surrounding characters getting half developed to a point of mild satisfaction.

I don't think Clay is misunderstood in this fandom so much as misinterpreted. namely the overt focus on his abusive incidents and qualities drowns out any analysis about how and why they emerged in the first place. and the insistence on reading him through this over the top evil villain tunnel vision- Clay is an antagonist, in that his actions are in opposition to Orel's, but he's not a villain. I actually don't think there are designated villains in Moral Orel, just a lot of damaged, self destructive people who rationalize, deny and repress the harm they cause. humans, as Dino called them.

put succinctly, I think we often forget that Clay has a disease, that it is life-threatening, and no one around him is educated enough to see the warning signs- because drinking culture is so ingrained in their social circle that there's nothing to do but repress whatever harm it causes.

earlier on in the show, his drinking is less pronounced. This is not to say he didn't have a problem, because its clear from Help that his binging started early in their marriage. I do think there is a gradual descent beginning with him drinking the boozy milk in church, slowly until Bloberta calls him a "self-destructive alcoholic", and then a rapid plummet after he walks out on Christmas eve. This feels in line with a relapse.

I went back and forth on whether Clay had actually never touched a drop of booze before he met Bloberta- he lied about his father being dead, he must have been shitting her about "isnt drinking a sin?" because even he knows that his mother used to drink- and also the way he keeps on looks like someone who tried to stop before and that this is his relapse. but then he goes on about his "new found superpowers" and thanking Bloberta for helping him come out of his shell so it definitely seems like alcohol is providing him with a burst of sociability and extraversion that he otherwise didn't think he had in him before.

Clay genuinely believed that drinking was making him a better person. This is reinforced by what others say to him: by Bloberta saying "it makes us better people", or Danielle telling him, "you're better when you drink." The word "better" is used directly in his rant- he mimes the alcohol telling him: "I'll make things better, dear! drink me, put me inside you!" in the following dialogue, its very clear that he associates drinking with his relationship with Bloberta, and women in general. And also that the sex he has had with Bloberta might be less than consensual and not pleasurable for him. More on this later.

That's the rub of alcohol. You drink a little to feel good, and you do it until that amount doesn't do it for you anymore, and the tolerance builds up until you need to drink enough to black out, and being black out drunk is where your inhibitions completely disappear. Black out drunk means you might whip out your dick and piss on someone's computer- knew a guy who did it- does this mean you hate that person, or computers? no, just that your senses were no longer functioning to keep you from carrying out every insane impulse you have.

alcohol addiction isn't a moral failing, its a disease. Clay's true moral failing was that he wasn't responsible or mature enough to be left alone with his son in the wilderness. He wasn't a horrifyingly inept father in the past episodes, mostly just spanking Orel before asking him why he (impregnated women in their sleep/sold his piss for profit/did crack/stole his booze/etc). Then he imparts an entirely deranged moral because he feels like he needs to explain to Orel some justification for his punishment, which he might be doing to bond with him the way he used to bond with his mother.

Clay was not properly fathered (or mothered, for that matter), and is not equipped to be a good father. His version of fathering Orel is an attempt to undo the neglect of his boyhood- he is physically present in his life, "a boy needs his father" so he says, he converses with him- while he did spank him, he's never slapped him or battered him, which is interesting to note because Arthur only ever hit Clay in the face. The actual, major fuck up in his life happened when he was black out drunk.

Its notable that after the incident we get an episode of him reflecting on the death of his mother, and how he never got to go on that coveted hunting trip with his dad. the road to hell truly is paved with good intentions.

but he gets worse. He starts ditching work to drink. he ditches church to drink. he's calling up his situationship midday to drink. he has ditched the shot glass and is drinking his brown booze straight from the bottle now. this is ruining his friendships, his professional connections, even the barmaid hates him now. Because he can't reconcile his self-image with what he did to his child, his only narcissistic impulse is to deny it happened, lie about it, to himself, to the doctor, to everyone around him. Then when he can't deny it happened, he hides from his son out of shame, and avoids talking to him for 6 months, only speaking to him again when it becomes clear that his son has publicly sided against him. Right after that he emotionally regresses and becomes susceptible to the manipulations of a seemingly older woman. Clay is in the middle of a mental breakdown.

then the show gets cancelled.

of course they killed it. why would adult swim want to air a show where a character suffers from a realistic depiction of alcoholic dependency? one where a guy pisses his bed because he's too drunk to get up at night, one where a guy almost kills his child (not played for laughs)? the audience doesn't want to be told that they need to kick their habit. they'd prefer a mad scientist who can just grow himself a new liver any time he needs to replace it. Or a cartoon crow who gets into hi-LAR-ious out-RAG-eous hijinks because of his drinking. do you see what I'm saying?

I mean, what if Clay stopped drinking?

("Yeah, what if?")

there's this thing called withdrawal, where if your body is at the point where it is dependent on alcohol for stability, alcohol every day every hour, all year long- like Clay is- going cold turkey can actually end your life.

a caricatured depiction of withdrawal can be seen happening to Orel in the episode "Grounded"- he isn't just "going crazy", Church is an addiction that he needs to feed to feel normal. It's a very silly take on it, but the insatiable cravings, sweats, nausea, shakes, clamminess and the feelings of unmanageable suicidality are the same.

Other effects of alcoholic withdrawal include (not in order) seizures, hallucinations, acute anxiety, mood swings, tachycardia, and in worst cases delirium tremens. with the way Clay drinks he would definitely end up with pretty bad DTs.

And it goes on for at least 6 months.

when this happens, a person needs to be hospitalized. and knowing the medical staff at Martin Luther Hospital, I can understand why he would want to avoid it. I don't think he has the willpower to wait past shaky hands before he reaches for his next drink.

another part of overcoming an addiction to alcohol is community support- support from family, friends, spouses. this was described by Kabi Nagata in one of her memoirs as a kind of "foothold in the world" to keep the patient stable and focused. but as of the start of season 2, Bloberta doesn't care. Clay perceives Bloberta as not being on his side- if your own wife isn't on your side, what hope do you have needing her when you're vulnerable? fuck, even Clay isn't on his own side.

On Bloberta- I get the feeling she might have supported him to stop drinking earlier in their marriage. Or at least to get his drinking under control (as in, not publicly visible). Maybe before Shapey was born? but when he started again, she was through being "on his side" so to speak.

(and I do think his drinking has some correlation to his sex life. according to Bloberta, "when does he ever remember?" and based on what little Orel said in that one promo, Clay is never sober enough to be on top, like he so insists upon being the "right" way. in his rant Clay graphically describes PIV sex with open revulsion. call me crazy, but I kind of get the feeling he's gay.)

but the real reason I think he was triggered to drinking to excess, is Danielle.

its pretty clear from the get-go of season 2 is that Clay was carrying on an affair with him, at least an emotional one if not a physical one. and I can imagine that his attraction to Danielle unsettles him, to the point that he needs to reinforce his concept of masculinity with the markers of it; hiding in his little man cave and collecting hunting equipment- and drinking hard liquor to excess. Everything he accuses Orel of during the hunting trip- being sensitive, soft, a sissy- is just something he projects because he's insecure about it in himself. and the root of it is his fear of loving Danielle.

despite the humiliation he subjected himself to in Honor- him admitting that he loved Danielle was a brief moment of growth. albeit closeted, fearful, it was a revelation of what was really in him. closest comparable moment of honesty in the series was him admitting to Orel that his identity as a father is central to who he is, and without it he would be nothing. and then there's his academy award winning drunken rants.

where could his character have gone... I think leaving his family, aka Orel, aka forgoing his identity as a father, might be the best he could do. that and getting sober. but there's no getting sober without leaving his family, because he associates his wife with drinking. and there's no getting sober if you don't have a friend left in the world. it was sad to see him still with her in the final scene because they both really could've thrived in divorce.

[the-marshals-wife]

Restless (Raylan Givens x Reader)

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

A/N: More than a little inspired by the Lady A song "Need You Now", here's an impromptu Raylan fic because this gif also inspired me and it's past time I wrote something for my marshal man. ✪

Description: Raylan Givens x Fem!Reader, moody fluff | Warnings: kissing, guns and alcohol mentioned | Setting: before Primeval | Word count: 1,064 | Gif credit: user vincenzides

Imagine being unable to sleep and finding Raylan on your porch keeping watch

It was another sleepless night for you. There seemed to be million things to worry about lately, and not enough daylight hours to do it in. You'd spent the last two staring up at the ceiling before giving up hope for a restful night. You rub at your eyes as you make your way down the stairs, each creaking step ringing throughout the old farmhouse. If you were being honest, the house being paid off was the only thing not making you lose sleep.

You'd gone the route of warm milk and hot tea before, but you found the only thing that truly helped in times like these was curling up in your grandfather's rocking chair. Even just a few minutes there never failed to soothe your troubled mind and bring back the peace of simpler days.

You flip the lock on front door, pull it open as it squalls on the hinges, and switch on the flickering porch light.

"Still need to change that," you remind yourself, adding to your already exhaustive mental list.

With it well past midnight, it was almost unsettling how still and silent it was outside. You push open the screen door and step onto the weathered porch boards in your slippers. In the summer months, at least you had the comfort of the crickets chirping. But on a damp spring night like tonight, the abundant life of the hollows had yet to sing its song.

Having just crawled out of your warm bed, the cool air hits your face and sends chills right through you. You cross your arms and shuffle towards the end of the porch.

You freeze in place, however, when you see a dark silhouette sitting motionless in the rocker. Fight or flight already kicking in, you're counting the steps backward to the shotgun just inside the door when the shadowy figure speaks.

"Don't shoot me," calls a familiar voice.

"Raylan Givens, you just about gave me a heart attack," you exhale as you clutch your chest.

"We wouldn't want that," he replies, peering up in the dim light, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to scare you."

As your heart starts beating again, you begin to find your words. You pull your robe tighter around yourself and tentatively approach him. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," he says, as if that were an explanation.

"Well I can see that. But what are you doing on my porch?"

He leans back in the rocker and turns his head towards the pitch black yard. "Had a feeling."

"Bad?" you question, watching him survey the darkness.

"Yeah."

You sigh. That's the way it was with Raylan. The quickest draw in the county with a witty comeback or sarcastic comment, but never one to waste words on the hard days.

"Guessing you don't want to talk about it," you venture, sitting down in the wicker chair beside him.

"Not really," he answers.

You nod, frowning. "Can I at least get you a drink?"

"No, thank you. Had plenty already," he says, finally looking over at you, "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," he sighs, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair.

"Raylan, should I be worried here? Is something coming? Do I need to put on my 'shooting shoes'?" you laugh a bit, hoping to ease the tension.

"No, it's not like that," he chuckles, leaning forward on his knees and staring down at his boots, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing here. There's nothing wrong. Just the whiskey talking, I guess."

You scoff. "You're many things, Raylan Givens, and a good liar is not one of them."

He glances up at you and smirks.

"Why are you really on this porch tonight?" you ask.

He leans back again, eyes fixed on the hat still in his hands. "This job gets you a lot of enemies. That I wouldn't mind so much, except it never ends with me. People I care about tend to get caught in the crossfire."

He turns to you, and even in the dark, you see in his eyes a vulnerability you'd scarcely seen before.

"I can live with a lot of things, but I won't live with you getting hurt. Least of all because of me. I'm not gonna let that happen."

You pause as you realize that not only was Raylan being honest about his feelings, but that he has them for you. You half-expected a hallelujah chorus to follow, but there was only the peaceful quiet of the evening. Maybe you were asleep, you wonder, for surely this was a dream.

"There's only one thing for it then," you begin, standing up.

You take the hat from his hands and place it in the chair you'd just left. Before he can protest, you sit down on his lap, and he stares at you completely stunned. Tucking your legs up, you lay your head on his shoulder and rest your hand on his chest.

"You'll just have to stay here," you declare softly.

Hesitating only a moment, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer.

"Guess I'll have to," he replies.

Several moments of him holding you in comforting silence go by before he speaks again, and you can hear him smile as he does.

"I should warn you, though. I've been told, by just a few people mind you, that I can be a pain in the ass."

You sit up, snickering, "Tell me something I don't know."

His gaze softens, weighing your challenging words.

"Alright, how about this. If I stay, I don't have plans to leave."

Just when you thought he couldn't surprise you any more, he goes and says a thing like that, looking at you the way he is.

"That's good. Because I don't have plans to let ya," you smirk.

You let your words and worries fall to the wayside as you lean in and kiss him. His hand slides up your neck and into your hair as he kisses you back hard, tasting like whiskey and longing. Many heartbeats of intoxicating embrace pass before you both remember to breathe.

He grins at you and chuckles.

"You're never getting rid of me now."

[ohtobearandomftblog]

random dragon slayer headcanons so my brain will let me get back to writing a fic

bite. monchity cromchity. its their way of hugging. or it was before erza beat it into natsu that that was a No. the others learned through others, too, except for erik. he still bites. the dragon slayers dont hug each other though they only bite. not enough to break skin but enough to leave an indent for a few minutes.

stare. stareeeeeeeeee. stares so much that people wonder if they even blink. they do. but if theyre staring its that weird membrane thing that wets their eyes without obstructing their vision too much. not many people realize it and even fewer arent freaked out.

the raised slayers view the lacrima slayers as true dragon slayers. the lacrima slayers do not view themselves as true dragon slayers. the raised slayers do so much random shit trying to convince the lacrima slayers that they are, in fact, true dragon slayers.

they can tell emotions. generally. if someones sad they stick around as a shoulder to lean on or a wall to vent to. if someones angry they either get prickly too or stay far away. its like a pet.

can also tell if someones low in calcium or potassium or something similar. like a service pet. they almost never point it out, but they do bring like milk or bananas over or even drag people out into the sun and stare at them until they accept their new position.

sunbathe. they all sunbathe. yes even rogue. its not so much the brightness (except for sting and sometimes natsu) its the heat. yes even gajeel. they wouldve dragonized if they didnt view themselves as completely and wholly human. dragons are big lizards. lizards are cold blooded or somethin. need heat to function. sunbathe.

natural aversion to other slayers like god and demon/devil. has to work with the other slayers to get past the fight or flight instinct. took wendy a bit to view sherria as human and not an actual god. took everyone a bit to warm up to gray and not think he was going to pull pranks or shank someone in their sleep. the other slayers do not have this issue with anyone, even dragon slayers. no one knows why the dragons are like this.

have a draconic language. written and spoken. the raised ones spoke “human” only with their parent dragon and only at the beginning. the lacrima ones dont know draconic until the raised ones start to ‘bring them out of their shell’ or whatever makarov tries to say about it. laxus doesnt know nor does he care, and hes the only one that cares about this sudden language bit in his brain at all. not even erik was freaked out.

half-draconic forms, even after theyre not in danger of dragonizing. typically has claws, and more sharp teeth than just fangs, and different colored eyes, and scales, and wings, and maybe a tail. wings might be scaled or feathered. porlyusica hates them.

if they eat any fresh meat like they didnt drain most of the blood before cooking it has to be well-done. for natsu and sometimes laxus it has to be nearly burnt. cause they get the impression of the last emotion felt before the animal died and its a real appetite killer to suddenly be hit with pain and sadness yknow

yknow how they dont break skin when they bite? most of the time. sometimes they just want to taste some blood. only done to each other or family or loved ones and is kinda rare but it really helps them all calm down

alcohol doesnt work on any of them. almost any drug doesnt work actually. high metabolism or somethin. needs a lethal dose like three times over to even get a small amount of like pain killers or somethin

theyre all allergic to chocolate. like eating a regular sized brownie will have them in bed for two hours. erik was already used to that because whatever is in fiorean chocolate does not sit well with isvanians. speaking of isvanians after gray got that demon/devil slaying magic he could eat fiorean chocolate and rubs it in the slayers and lyon’s faces. theyre all so damn jealous

after tartaros the average s-class quest became normal quests and shit bordering 10 year quests became average s-class quests. even though everyone on tenrou got s-class near tartaros they all still hold onto the “true” s-class people (laxus mira erza gildarts) as ones qualified to run them. laxus is pestered so much by the slayers to pretty please go on an s-class quest please they would oh so like to check out this area and oop theres a quest just for that area would you oh so kindly take it so we can even get a bit of money pretty please

whenever erik’s around they all go on an s-class quest and pay erik his cut afterwards since he’s not in a fully legal guild yet

read more for lists of hcs instead of just bullet points:

they all smell of their element. faintly to mages, not at all to non-mages, and strongly to other slayers of any kind. they can also smell the main types of magic a mage uses, like the metal of erza or the ice of gray or the wet animal of lisanna and the terror of elfman and the blood of mirajane.

natsu smelled of fire and gray smelled of ice so even without knowing who gray was he immediately started to pick a fight with him. just because he smelled cold.

wendy got along well with everyone immediately because her own scent would bend just slightly to compliment anyone she was nearby. besides, fire needs wind to stay strong, lightning typically comes with storm winds, metal can be tempered and cooled with air, poison can be spread with a breeze, light bounces in strong winds, and darkness seeps into everything with heavy air.

laxus immediately sets off peoples fight or flight, typically. just from the ozone smell. even makarov, whos dad used lightning magic, needed to get used to it. it wasnt great when trying to make friends.

before the dragons got out of their slayers, they had very clear “what would my dragon parent say/do”, because the dragon parent was saying shit

erik and laxus will always have the dragon’s voice commenting on shit, even if they dont realize its the dragon itself

sting and rogue had Blaring dragon voices but when the dragons left they only have what the lacrima gives them

natsu gajeel and wendy have nothing now and got so reckless after the dragons left makarov had to sit them down and ask just what the fuck happened and if they needed psychological or mental help

once the exceeds got to earthland and built a village/scattered one found laxus and another found erik

the one following laxus stuck around in his exile the few weeks/months before the s-class trials because he saved them from some random bandits. the exceed tried to follow laxus to tenrou but laxus told them to get to fairy tail or to go home to wherever the exceeds village was. they stuck around the village until laxus came back seven years later where the exceed then joined fairy tail and would sometimes stick around with laxus or the thunder legion or just be on their own

the one with erik joined the magic council’s shenanigans and was on ‘feed the prisoners’ duty and took a liking to him. when erik got out the exceed left with him and also tried to find cubelious to the point of leaving erik many times for long times and coming back with nothing. even after they figured out where and who cubelious was the exceed stuck around because ‘in for a penny in for a pound’

rain calms them all down. even natsu. sure, he and gajeel and sting are gonna stay under cover when rain comes, but theyre also close to passing out bc its so calm. rogue loves the darkness that comes with it and deals with the water. wendy jumps in the rain and people swear she moves with the winds. laxus lays down wherever theres space and absorbs the rain and wind and lightning.

there were jokes that laxus was more of a storm dragon slayer than a lightning dragon slayer when people realized that not only was he not wet from the rain, but it didnt even roll off and soak the ground. he genuinely absorbs it.

laxus doesnt mind the jokes but does point out every single time that he doesnt use water or wind in his attacks. juvia wondered if it was because he never really fought in the middle of a storm. theyre all too scared to test it now (even laxus, cause gosh wouldnt that absolutely fuck with his mind?)

they all have a favored sense. and a weakest sense.

natsu's most powerful is taste. he can taste a difference in the air quality before anyone can notice it. he can taste all the individual herbs and spices used in making food. he eats most things plain because of it. his feeling is fucking awful. you could stab him with a pencil and a knife and a broadsword and hed only be able to tell because of the taste of blood in the air. he can feel big texture and temperature differences and thats basically it. he can feel when hes in water and when its cold and thats it. he wants to feel lucy’s and happy’s hugs he really does but he can only taste the metal of her keys and the fish in his pouch

gajeel's is feeling. every single seam on his clothes makes him want to adopt gray's habit. he can feel when someone sighs because it disturbs the wind just enough. he has piercings and metal everywhere he can because the smooth and cold difference is comforting. his worst is smell. if he was blind deaf and gagged he would not be able to tell who was in front of him. fire? blood? a nicely cooked steak? never smelled it. he wants to smell the shampoo levy uses and the polishing substance lily uses on his sword but all he can do is feel the smoothness of both

wendy has great smell. even in the middle of a tornado she can smell all the little details and can almost pinpoint where they came from. she can smell when food or the air has been tampered with. too strong smells like erza’s perfume give her a headache. her sight SUCKS. she has three pairs of glasses she needs at all times (close, general, and far (she begged erza to teach her requip magic Just for them)) and is colorblind. what kind of colorblind? no clue! blues are yellows reds are purples greens are blacks yellows are greys purples are orange whites are green blacks are white grey is cyan cyan is pink pink is turquoise turquoise is red or SOMETHING. she wants to see all the colors of the clothes carla picks for them both and the flowers they see in bouquets but all she can do is smell where the purple(?) dye is from and which fields the flowers came from

erik’s is hearing. no shit. he hears birds miles away. he hears through sound-proof lacrimas and walls. he hears thoughts. hes traumatized just from impulsive thoughts lets not even get into intrusive. his worst easily taste. he eats poison what do you mean his taste buds are fine??? those shits were chemically burnt off nearly the moment he got that lacrima in. before they were though he could barely stomach even cubelious’ poison because it tasted so bad. except for blood. it probably has to do with the smell too but he can mostly taste blood. now he wants to taste kinana’s cooking but all he can do is finally hear her thoughts and, wow, he really wishes his best and worst sense would just switch

sting’s sight is the best. he sees in the dark maybe because hes a glowstick but even without that. one-way glass means nothing to him. fog also means nothing. sometimes particularly thin walls mean nothing like shoji where people can see the shadows? nah that shits invisible to him. its like glass to a bird. his hearing is Not It. only gets garbled nonsense. needs hearing lacrima at All times and even then does that “what? huh? oh yeah i went to the store” thing and people cant tell if its because he really did need to hear it again or if he only finished processing it. also does not hear accents. words sure are words and he can barely understand it no matter what. does not know the difference between rogue and yukino’s voices either. and he wants to. oh how he wants to know the “dark and deep” voice of rogue and the “scratchy and soft” voice of lector but no, all he gets to know is the blemishes in rogue’s skin and the small spot on lector’s forehead that doesn’t grow hair

rogue is that weird sixth sense thing that he just calls instinct. hes got eyes on the back of his head. ears in the walls. nose in everyone’s business. touch sensors on his hair. taste buds on his fingertips. except he really doesnt, because all of those are his worst senses. he needs glasses, learned how to lipread because no one spoke too loudly near him, doesnt know what people mean by scented candles, has no clue what a papercut feels like, and can barely taste the spiciest shit imaginable again except for blood. he wants normal feeling in everything, but all he gets is knowing what you said four miles away and what you were wearing and how your hair felt and what your ice cream tasted like and what cologne the guy next to you had. he thinks its the shadows. he calls it instinct.

laxus. depends? one day he can hear thunder in crocus when hes in magnolia. another he can smell rain in a dry spell two weeks before it comes. another he can feel a bug under his bed frame that doesnt touch his mattress but sure keeps him up all night. another he can see all the way into blue pegasus’s guildhall sitting on the second story of fairy tail’s. another and he can taste blood even though no one is bleeding. sometimes it tastes like his own blood. hes never bleeding. and hes not really bad at any of the senses. theyre like a normal non-mage’s when theyre not heightened to hell and back. but his gramps and the thunder legion would say his instincts arent the greatest, especially for someone so fast. he cant dodge a sneak attack no matter how many times people teach him. he cant tell when someone lies to him no matter how stuttery they are or how fast their heart beats. he couldnt tell when his appendix almost fucking exploded. if his body didnt start expelling excess lightning hed absorb so much hed get sick. if he didnt collapse, he wouldnt have been able to tell that his body was full of bane particles, and would have just kept going. rarely does laxus admit that his instincts suck, but he does confide in the thunder legion and his gramps. about how he thinks his body heightens what it doesnt need one day and how it makes what he does need the worst it can get--his smell so good he can tell when rain will come but his hearing so bad he couldnt tell when someone lied about a trap straight to his face and would have murdered him if freed didnt look for him. its why he was so standoffish before tenrou.

literally none of their first language was modern fiorean, or modern english. no ones was draconic, either.

natsu and wendy share a native language. theyre from midi. its old midian, or latin. levy and freed are learning how to speak it from them, since they know written latin. natsu and wendy still critique their grammar and spelling.

sting rogue and gajeel share one. theyre from joya. its old joy, or old german. but gajeel has a different dialect that he says is its own language and not a dialect, but modern dutch was almost fully absorbed by modern german, so who knows what old dutch was actually counted as.

erik is from isvan, and speaks isvanish/spanish. he, like gray and lyon, get very pissed if you say spanish was in desierto. its different dialects, theyd say, and its not like they chose for the dialects to have the same damn name. he only learned fiorean in the tower of heaven

laxus. doesnt actually remember. neither does makarov. could be icebergen/russian, from gramps. a dialect from a small country that was absorbed by alvarez, from his grandma. or “oriental”, from his mom, but call it “oriental”  or “eastern” and he will throw lightning at you, because he knows three dialects (japanese, korean, and chinese), and its not clear what you mean when you say “oriental”.

the ones in the grand magic games confused the commentators by speaking their native languages to swear and it was only when some parents spoke up about it did a rule suddenly get put in place in the middle of the third day. they were jokingly furious, along with gray, lyon, jura, makarov, and the strauss siblings.

some magics just Dont Work on them

cana’s fortune telling doesnt work. at all. well, she learns it doesnt work on those raised by dragons, but does work on those with the lacrima. no one knows why until they learn the raised ones were sent around four hundred years in the future. then it all makes sense.

mirajane tried to see if her take-over would work on natsu when they learned he was e.n.d. could be because he chose to be fully human, but it didnt work at all. she could tell he was still a wee bit demonic, but honestly it was more likely to work on gray than on natsu.

mind control? good fucking luck. erik is only able to understand the others because hes a dragon slayer, but mind control magic? mest can attest, trying to implant false memories into natsu gajeel and wendy was a fucking pain and gave him a nose bleed.

after the slayers stopped dragonizing, the enchanting a personality onto them or whatever irene did just. never worked again.

one time, when he was young and the lacrima was implanted less than two months ago, someone tried to requip away laxus’s lacrima. everything they could requip in their mini space storage thing shot out around them. they couldnt use magic for two weeks. laxus told erik, sting, and rogue this recently, and they had that look of ‘i dont know what the fuck you expected’. he pointed out he was only seven when the lacrima was implanted. they realized common sense when it comes to kids is out the window, both for the kids themselves and the adults around them. they patted him on the back. he doesnt know what that means.

magic drain, yknow, like what aria did to incapacitate makarov during phantom’s bullshit? nope. magic drain works by taking the magic of someone and just spreading it out into the world. try that shit on natsu and the air will be on Fire. wendy? so much wind you cant breathe. gajeel? shit will start turning into metal. it doesnt work at all on laxus and erik since magic drain just doesnt work on lacrima at all. sting and rogue? what could be drained away just causes blinding light or blinding darkness, soooooo

can consume their elements like food and no its not just for magic energy

gray once dared natsu to survive off of only fire. literally everyone told natsu to Dont Fucking Do It. he only ate fire for two months and everyone was Concerned and gray finally told him to stop. he didnt for another month.

in phantom the only thing gajeel was allowed to eat was scrap metal. juvia would sneak him some regular food every once in a while because metal didnt actually give him that many nutrients. when they got into fairy tail juvia tried to sneak him some food again and mirajane saw and explained to them that theres no sneaking necessary he can just eat the food are you guys okay??? juvia thought she was in trouble for the rest of the day and gajeel got her out of it by eating a chicken leg at a random table in the guildhall. then natsu challenged him to a food fight and was concerned when everything thrown was just Eaten by gajeel

wendy forgets to eat food. especially in cait shelter because sometimes the illusion people would forget to make food at a good time and most of the time carla had to remind them that shes a growing child who needs food?? wendy was so used to just eating the air when traveling with mystogan that most of the time she was genuinely full before they even finished cooking. it kinda stayed when she got in fairy tail but now natsu gajeel and sometimes laxus just put food in front of her so often that she only eats air when on quests now

sabertooth was like phantom before sting became master and light and darkness were even Worse than metal. just before the gmg they were visibly malnourished and natsu focused more on that than how they supposedly killed their parents. like he dragged them to fairy tail’s hotel thing and when gajeel and wendy saw them they joined in the dragging to get these kids some fuckin Food

brain was also a bitch and gave cubelious raw meats Only and made erik eat her poison Only. erik would sneak in vegetables and fruits because cubelious could actually eat them (now he knows why) and cubelious would put some aside for erik cause even if he cant taste it she knows her poison is really just for magic and not actual nutrition. but like poisoned berries? fantastic for them both

laxus doesnt really eat. hes allowed to and he enjoys it when his taste isnt enhanced to hell and back. but like. most lacrimas after the tenrou shit have electricity in them. nice little snack. and he just summons lightning every once in a while and that more than makes up for the small magic it takes to summon it. besides eating proper food takes time and its messy and hes really got shit to do yknow

that combined slayer magic? like the lightning flame dragon and iron shadow dragon and white shadow dragon? yeah so

they can be anything. like natsu isnt stuck to just lightning. and theyre not even stuck to just other dragon slayers magic. like when he ate zancrow’s it was dragon god’s flame, he just didnt realize it. if wendy ate sherria’s it would be dragon god’s wind. if laxus ate orga’s hed be dragon god’s lightning.

again theyre not stuck to just their element and whatever was the first one they tried that wasnt. natsu can be a blinding flame or a burning shadow or a scorched metal or a heatwave (gray hates this one) or feverish poison. theyll all make him sick afterwards like lightning flame.

gajeel’s is shining iron and melting sword (yknow gallium? the metal that melts at body temp? basically) and scrap tornado and venomous blade and shocking steel. he gets weak after them instead of sick

wendy’s is prism and suffocating winds and scorching air and sharp wings and noxious breeze and storm (yes with water and more evidence of laxus being a storm dragon slayer but this time he will smack you upside the head if you mention it). she gets sleepy afterwards

sting’s is blazing light and cutting bright and prism (being the same as wendy’s which is Odd) and hurtful white and lightning’s blinding. he cant think clearly after

rogue’s is burning shadow and cutting darkness and night’s fog (not fog but it is a physical darkness) and blindingly nothing and encompassing and electric eclipse. he gets so hungry after

erik’s is blazing acid and venom and bane particles (laxus hates this one) and purify and comatose and seizing poison. he gets lethargic

laxus’s takes after everyone else except wendy. lightning flame, shocking steel, lightning’s blinding, electric eclipse, and seizing poison. instead of storm he just gets more powerful lightning but wendy says its because he actually is controlling the wind but he doesnt think so. everyone calls it dry lightning in front of him but they say this is another point for storm dragon slayer when hes way away from them (he still hears and still punches whoever said it when he gets to them).

[saintbarou]

tags:angst to comfort, implied age gap (kishibe is older than reader), break up and back together, cigarettes and alcohol mentioned.

synopsis: in trying to save your heart, kishibe breaks it anyhow - i guess it’s only fair he puts it back together again right?

what is love if it does not endure?

you stand next to kishibe, in the alleyway next to the bar public safety is celebrating at. you can hear power and denji cheering for aki to finish another pint as you stare off into the street, cigarette in hand. you don’t really smoke, you just like the smell of it since kishibe always smells like cigarettes.

“still out here?” he asks and he knows it isn’t about how you aren’t inside eating fried chicken and drinking beer with your colleagues. kishibe sees that look in your eye, and it takes his breath away at how they sparkle like diamonds in the milk light of the full moon.

“you are too, aren’t you?” and if it where another night, maybe at his apartment where your clothes are still untouched sitting next to his in his dresser he would have snorted, brought you in closer to lay a kiss on your sweet face, rubbing his stubble into your cheek until you squealed.

“so? how’d it go?”

“tamaki? he’s nice, but not really my type. paid for my cab though.” you muttered, eyes down and locked onto the orange ember on the cigarette. it’s smoke coils around you two, a veil for a moment not meant for the outside world.

the world was just the two of you - no devils, no humans, no guns and no paperwork. just you and him, maybe that’s why your apartment always felt like home when he spent the night?

“good man.” is all he can say, even though he pushed you away, he can’t stomach the idea of you with another man. the ember on the cigarette burns away more of it and you watch with dark eyes at how it flakes off onto the concrete.

“i miss you.”

“you shouldn’t.” kishibe says, voice deep and rough.

“i know, i still do.” you return, voice soft and smooth.

“i’ll just break your heart. you should want for more.” you shut your eyes, leaning your head back until it rests on the cool building. the concrete digs into your back and suddenly you feel like you are back in your apartment, this argument already having been said one hundred times before.

“you are breaking my heart right now, trying to push me away like this.” you mutter, words carried by the night wind into his ears and he sighs, in a deep bone tired way. this whole ordeal tires him, ages him far more than 30 years at this shithole of a job where each day might be his last. he’s had plenty of women before you but he’s never cared enough about them to take care of them, to cherish them the way he does with you.

it’s why he thinks he’s finally in love for the first time in a long time or maybe, this is his first love and you are bringing the man he thought died a long time ago back from the grave. another portion of the cigarette flakes off and falls to the concrete of the city, it pains him when he thinks about how that’s the brand he smokes.

“what do you want me to do?” he asks, and the words are heavy like iron on his tongue. you respond back without missing a beat, as if the words where in your mouth the moment you where born and have been waiting for this moment to speak them.

“take me home, and keep me there. don’t leave me ever again.” you say, the words shaky as something bites at the back of your eyes - tears you both realize as you wipe at them furiously with the backs of your hands. you didn’t want to cry, but like with most things kishibe can pluck all reservations in your heart and make you bear it in full.

“shhh…don’t cry come one…i’ll take you back.” kishibe finds himself comforting you, doting is a word never used to describe him but he likes to think its from how direct he is and how he can’t bear to see you cry. he touches for the first time tonight, a calloused thumb soothing away the tear track on your cheek. kishibe tries not to let the way you relax into his touch go to his heart but like always when faced with you he fails and falls anyways.

he takes you by the hand, calls a cab and you head to his apartment. it makes you wetly laugh and hiccup at how the things you left are still right where you left them. your toothbrush in a cup while kishibe’s lays on the counter ready to fall. the lipstick you haven’t been able to find sits next to the lighter he keeps in his room. your pajamas are next to his folded on the bed.

when you wake up the next morning, late in the first rays of the sun as the clock reads 10:00 you find that the tear tracks and the smoke from the night before are gone, replaced by the way kishibe’s hair shines in the low light of day.

[slut-and-falcon]

Wicked headcannon

Elphaba isn’t allergic to water- she’s scared of it.

When she was a young child, Nanny tried to drown her. And Elphaba’s mother was never sober due to taking a variety of herbs and alcohol (which young Elphaba would interpret to be water because it’s clear). So it creates this deep rooted trauma in her mind that manifests as a deep fear of water.

This phobia is to the point that she sometimes panics and feels pain when water touches her even though it’s not causing actual damage (neuroplasticity but in reverse!).

And we also see this manifest in her behavior- she doesn’t wash her hair often so it’s usually tied up due to be oily. He clothes are ragged because they aren’t rinsed in water enough to avoid getting stiff from soap, and she tries to harshly rub the stiffness out with a wash board causing the fabric to ware.

Before Shiz, her nails always have white flour or dirt under them from avoiding excess time washing her hands. So she starts wearing gloves whenever she does the chores to stop needing to wash her hands. (Nessa thinks it’s to hide the green, Frex just is thankful it’s actually hiding the green)

Fiyero comes barging into Elphaba’s life, and comes from a diverse region where water is sometimes rare. And he’s sympathetic to her avoidance of water. He quickly learns she won’t talk about it, and takes his suggestions as criticism of her hygiene. (She uses coconut oil to wash her self, baking soda to clean her hair and teeth, and milk to bath in when necessary thank you very much)

Realizing she likes books and learning, he starts slowly suggesting some anthropological books about the dry regions of the Vinkus, knowing she would eventually read about the recorded water alternatives. He also starts practicing some of the techniques he grew up with- like using oil to clean his hands and tools, using powders to clean up spills, using dry exfoliation, etc, so that she will learn by observation. And also she will figure out that he knows stuff that might be helpful for her.

Time skip- Fiyero and Elphaba are together and he’s learning more and more about her everyday. In a vulnerable moment, she shares her fear of water and how she was drowned as a child, and everything clicks into place for him.

So he slowly introduces her to water in a positive way- using it to cool his canteen from the inside and then setting it against her face when it’s got outside. Or using it to water color berry paint pictures on rocks for her (because of course he does and it’s cute af), and eventually using it to comb out and detangle her hair for her without the water touching her scalp but it feeling very good.

And little by little coaxing her to jump into puddles with him, to enjoy the sound of rain while they are sheltered, to look forward to the rainbows.

Eventually he gets her to walk through a stream (previously he would carry over over because that’s hot af ngl), and then again but barefoot, and then they are wading into shallow water, but never putting their heads under. Fiyero takes the opportunity to make these good experiences (*wink wink*), and also starts to help her wash her hair without submerging her head. He even braids her hair while it’s wet so it dries in controlled waves that she adores.

He also makes sure their drinking water doesn’t look like the clear alcohol her mother drank- mixing berries and roots into it to change its taste and color.

And in return, she is in charge of the fires and kindling while they camp since he’s afraid of it.

[bonefall]

Snowbird Ann here: x_x I have Fennel growing in my front yard. That stuff...it tastes like black licorice and it's stringy like celery. But when it goes dormant, it leaves stalks that would be great building materials. Med cat/builders could get a fresh stalk, soak it in water to make it bendy and shape it into whatever. If I remember I'll go out and snap a picture of the dormant Fennel tomorrow.

Fennel is actually suuuuuuuuper useful for dozens of reasons. It's related to parsley and has been naturalized all over the world because humans find it so useful.

The cats could use it for:

-Funerals This herb can be STINKY. This could absolutely be one of the funeral herbs that elders rub onto the deceased, especially since it's non-toxic.

-Cooking It's full of fiber meaning it can be a good supplement even for cats, if not consumed in excess. It's also got potassium, manganese, calcium... They can't taste sweet but that licorice-y flavor would come across just fine. It's actually used in sausages a lot.

-Alcohol If your Warriors drink responsibly. And know how to distill. Mead made from honey would still be easier but fennel was used for health tonics in the middle ages... and then eventually got used to make absinthe.

-Insect repellent This one's actually huge because the OTHER big bad bug buster is mint... and all mint is toxic to cats. This is a really good non-toxic insect repellent for warriors next to lavender.

-"Toothpaste" Not like, a PASTE but, a sort of... sticky mouthwash poultice. Fennel's actually super good for oral health, eliminates bad breath, and fights plaque buildup; and remember, Our Friends Mint & Co is toxic to cats. You can make it into an oil and help a warrior with a gum problem. It's especially good at fighting streptococcus, which is one of the most common infectious bacteria in wild cats.

-General medicinal purposes Helping clean eye infections is just one medicinal use, fennel is useful for all sorts of ailments. It's anti-inflammatory, it's antibacterial (but not as good as honey), can help with digestion...

Historically it's also been associated with helping to treat colic in babies and estrogen-related issues like menopause and milk production, which is actually NOT proven with modern studies... but I think the idea is just cool enough to hand wave the science away, I would use it just to have an herb for colicky kits. It's weird that colic has never shown up in canonical kits before!

But...

Building use?

Probably not. You've noticed it's stringy-- that's actually where fennel gets its name. Fennel = Foenum = Latin for Hay. It's more like hay in consistency than twine and would be too soft to build with.

For strong material, you're just gonna want plain old wood. Twigs, branches, anywhere you can find fennel you're also going to find bushes or trees that'll make better beams.

For twine? Skip the fennel entirely with its short stalks and just get some tall grass. Or, if you've got long-haired cats, they can make yarn out of shed fur if they collect enough of it. Better yet, if you've got access to flax? Then you're REALLY cooking with fire, that bad boy can be made into fabric, rope, clothing... Don't even get me STARTED on industrial hemp, you could weave reality itself out of that popstar. Paper, clothes, canvas, shampoo, lamp oil, rope, bombs, you want it? It's YOURS my friend--

Anyway

TL;DR stick to the herbal uses for fennel. You're better letting dormant fennel re-grow because it's better in the paws of your medcats than your warriors.

[vecnawrites]

Yang and Neo were a beautiful, strong relationship. Full of love and pleasure, and some fun moments where they play on their old rivalry.

This Halloween, there was a party at a local club that they were going to. Horse-Faunus-Futa Neo was going as a sexy farm ranch worker, and Yang was going as a hucow.

Although, to have some fun with her lover, she decided to spike the blondes drinks. After a while, Yang's bust would start to grow and fill, outgrowing her top eventually... But with how milky she'd be, she'd still easily pull off the Hucow look~

Yang laughed as she drank her drink, enjoying the atmosphere of the party that she had managed to finagle her girlfriend into coming to. Oh, Neo had resisted something fierce, but she had managed to wear her down about it, and had finally agreed, even if she had to give up costume rights for the night.

But then, it wasn’t bad, she thought, her eyes roaming over Neo’s body. She never knew that overalls could be sexy, but Neo managed to do it, somehow, being the sexist ranch worker that she had ever seen in her life.

The caveat, however...Yang felt the eyes on her and the breeze on her skin as all she was wearing was a cowprint bikini top, a horned headband, a matching bikini bottom with leather chaps and an attached tail, and some boots that were made to look like cow hooves. She was her ‘Sexy HuCow’. Not that she really minded, she was quite proud of her body!

Finishing her drink, she found another being set before her, Neo giving her a small smile, making Yang smirk back at her. “Wanting me a bit blitzed so you can have fun later? This outfit gives a lot of easy fun~” she teased, although she did know that Neo was likely to do it under the cover of her semblance. But she trusted her girlfriend, so she grabbed the drink and began to nurse on it, missing Neo’s devious little smirk.

~

Neo giggled to herself as she watched her girlfriends breasts swell in the confines of her bikini top, the very center of her ‘costume’ growing damp as the specialized dust that she had spiked her drinks with did its magic, making her breasts grow and making her rapidly produce milk. It also helped that she managed to mix it with drinks that were sure to get her drunk, so she didn’t notice her boobs swelling or getting nice and milky for what she was planning~

Already, she could see droplets of milk forcing their way through the thin fabric of the top~ It wouldn’t be long now~

~

Yang couldn’t deny that there was a dull ache in her chest now, but brushed it off, just enjoying the party that was going on around her. Even more when Neo moved over and tugged her out onto the dance floor, dancing and moving around her. The haze of alcohol and warmth filling her made her not even really notice the rivulets of liquid dripping down her chest and torso.

She didn’t even notice when Neo loosened the knot of her top and her growing bust made it fall to the floor, revealing her bouncy tits and leaking nipples to the club at large, droplets of milk flying as she gyrated around her girlfriend.

She did notice, however, when she Neo reached up and grabbed her breasts and squeezed, a squeal escaping her lips as milk squirted across the room, hitting a few of the costume clad clubgoers.

She stumbled back against a seat at the bar, her butt plonking down on it, nearly missing Neo hopping up on the bar behind her. She didn’t miss the girls legs pinning her arms down, nor did she miss her hands grabbing her tits again, beginning to squeeze and rub them in milking motions.

A fierce blush formed on her face, even as her bikini bottom soaked through from arousal from all the eyes, all the scrolls, on her as her girlfriend milked her like the Hucow she was on the bar.

There was only one thing to do.

Tilting her head back, she surrendered to the pleasure. “Moooooo~♥!”

[birdofdawning]

The Woman From the Sea

The beginning is here; the previous part is here.

9. Marriage

The Lighthouse Keeper wakes up to the smell of warm baking and is momentarily back in her childhood and her grandmother’s tiny basement apartment on East 6th Street. She holds on to the comfort of the memory for as long as she can, until she can’t ignore her brain asking But how?

When the Lighthouse Keeper staggers into the Common Room she finds Dottie sitting on the window seat reading another mystery novel.

“I can smell bread?” she asks.

“Yes!” says Dottie, sitting up. “I wanted you to have a proper lunch (well, breakfast technically, because you’re literally breaking your fast) so I made some tomato soup and bread. But you didn’t have any yeast so I made soda bread. I used a can of beer as the fermenting agent — I hope you weren’t saving it, but it was over a year old and in the back of the cupboard. And I used a little of the frozen butter to thicken the milk. I tried to be frugal.” She wrings her hands, and searches the Lighthouse Keeper’s face for her reaction. “I hope that was...”

The Lighthouse Keeper rubs her eyes with her palms. “No, that’s fine. The beer was still around because it wasn’t that great. And I only had one left, and once you drink one you kinda want to keep going, you know?”

“The alcohol stimulates certain of the neurons in your dorsomedial striatum, specifically the dopamine receptors that rewards behavior.”

“You know, I had wondered if it was that,” says the Lighthouse Keeper. “But then I thought, is that crazy?”

“Oh no!” confirms Dottie earnestly, “a recent study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that mice—”

“Well, I know I’m relieved,” interrupts the Lighthouse Keeper. “You must tell me more SOME OTHER TIME,” she says hurriedly as Dottie opens her mouth again. “Right now I just want to eat.”

Sitting at the tiny kitchen table the Lighthouse Keeper is served a bowl of hot soup. “Are those chives?” she says, frowning, “Where on earth—?”

“There were some outside,” says Dottie as she places a plate of warm bread on the table. “In the old garden?”

“What?” The Lighthouse Keeper takes a mouthful of soup and her eyes widen. “Oh my god! Dottie, this is amazing! How on earth… where did you get… how did this come from the rubbish in the cupboards?”

Dottie appears to shiver with the praise. “Oh, tomato soup isn’t very hard. And you had the basics – largely many, many cans of tomatoes. Though the vinegar is past its expiry date, Jane: it is double-fermented, and it tasted fine so I felt it was safe to use, but you should replace it soon.”

“Is that… Dottie, is there cream in this? It can’t be cream!?” Her eyes suddenly narrow as she says “Dottie, where did you get the cream.”

“As I said, I thickened the milk with some butter, for the fat content, and used a little potassium bitartrate as the thickening agent. It’s nothing like proper cream but I’m pleased how well it worked.”

“No’ my potassium bitartrate!” says the Lighthouse Keeper with her mouth full, “I was savin’ that special!” and Dottie freezes with a look of horror. “Uh, so that was a joke,” she says, swallowing. “Dottie, I don’t even know what potassium bitartrate is, so I don’t think I’ll miss it.”

Dottie blinks at her. “Crème of Tatar,” she explains. “Oh, I see. Yes, you stated the opposite of what you meant for the humorous impact.” She nods several times, pleased with herself, and the Lighthouse Keeper relaxes and wonders if nobody in Dottie's life ever takes the time to joke around with her, and why not.

Dottie rambles on. “The bread really ought to be buttered too, to add to the richness,” she says looking down at the plate, brow creased at the omission, “but I didn’t want to use too much. You only have the one block.”

“S’fine,” the Lighthouse Keeper waves her concerns away with a hand as she takes a thick slice of soda bread. “Oh! Oh, this is…” she gestures inarticulately with her mouth full and Dottie smiles happily.

“I’m so glad you liked it. And I honestly was very sparing. There’s still half of the beer left if you want it—”

The Lighthouse Keeper waves the suggestion aside. “No, let’s have bread again tomorrow. While I’ve got you around I might as well take advantage.” Dottie looks down blushing, and the Lighthouse Keeper, who is absolutely not remembering her guest’s face upon discovering the trunk in the bedroom, quickly carries on “… of your prowess in the kitchen! Is what I want to take advantage of! Because you sure are… good at that. Yes, ma'am!” She determinedly concentrates her attention on her meal but after a moment the silence makes her look up again.

Dottie is leaning forward slightly, her usual open, earnest expression replaced with a look of cool professional focus. She is examining the Lighthouse Keeper’s bare hands. And the Lighthouse Keeper realises that she has left her fingerless gloves on her bedside table with her watch and her keys.

She clears her throat and pulls her long sleeves up over her palms, looking back down at her bowl. After a moment Dottie gets up to boil the kettle. 

Later the Lighthouse Keeper is stretched out on the couch half-reading some thing but mostly listening to Dottie as she sits at the bookshelf looking for her next novel. It’s nice having someone else here, she realizes. Better than she would have guessed a week ago.

“The problem is I remember so many of these Christies, and it never feels the same if you know how the puzzle fits together as you start. Don’t you think? And she’s not someone I read for the writing.” Dottie chats away happily as she pulls paperbacks out to look over their synopses. “Jane, why do you only have paperbacks?”

“Lighter to bring over,” says the Lighthouse Keeper lazily. “And I get most of ’em secondhand for a few dollars each, so I’m not fussed if they stay here.”

“What are these: Murder Out of Turn. Death Takes a Bow. Jane, what are these ‘North’ mysteries like?”

“’Mr and Mrs North’. They’re good. Old American whodunnits, with a married couple as the detectives. Although there’s a cop friend of theirs in it too. And the husband is just this ordinary guy, right? But the wife, she seems to be this dizzy quirky little thing; like, the comedy relief. But she’s the one who solves each of the mysteries. Because she sees things from such a different point of view to everyone, and inconsistencies really bother her.”

Dottie has turned Death Takes a Bow over and is reading the back. “I like the idea of a couple who solve mysteries together. It sounds like it would be cute, but without detracting from keeping the puzzle foremost.”

The Lighthouse Keeper sits up a little and turns her head on the arm rest to look directly at her guest. “Yeah, I know what you mean. Not getting bogged down in the ‘will they, won’t they’ or the sex or whatever. You married, Dot?”

She says it without any change in intonation, as if it was a causal inquiry. But they both know it’s not and the silence that follows seems to fill the room as loudly as the wind outside. Dottie is still staring at the back of the paperback but her eyes are unseeing and her neck is flushed. After a moment the Lighthouse keeper slides back down onto the couch and listens as Dottie begins to put books back on the shelf. Staring up at the ceiling she begins to make some conjectures.

[schismusic]

THE DISCOGRAPHY PRINCIPLE, Episode 4: Coil, or: Better Git It in Your Soul

As I'm writing this piece, everyone who knows their shit is spasmodically waiting for the physical repress of Moon's Milk (In Four Phases) to hit store shelves, assuming they haven't bought it off the site. All the people who have been knowing their shit since before it was cool to do so already had the FLACs on their hard disk drives. Not to brag, but I'm part of that second group. I love gay people, I love Creative Commons licenses, I love what happens when you rub them together (in case you're wondering, you have a phenomenon called teenage lightning).

[As you're going to see throughout the piece, the remaster did come out, and it's glorious]

If you ask anyone they will probably tell you Horse Rotorvator is Coil's best, and it's not like they're wrong, but it may be a bit limiting. It goes about the same as Incunabula; refer back to the Autechre post for more clarification, but in short it's an incredibly good record that takes some extra work done in the present time because some of its sound palette choices end up making it sound a bit uncanny, if not dated. I'd rather not go with "dated" for this specific record simply because Scatology exists, and it doesn't get anymore '80s than that, not necessarily in a positive way. If we take out The Anal Staircase (by the way, great title, guys!) the rest of the tracks on Horse Rotorvator have some actually quite futureproof stuff going on, on average - sometimes bordering on prescient, like on Penetralia, just barely removed from 2010s brostep aggression, and sometimes I wish they had the hardware to process that stuff. But the big-ass reverb on the snare and percussion, the sheer nudity of the production, the way the orchestral bits and samples are integrated into the arrangements kind of make it sound like the record is striving really hard for a sound that simply could not be attained at the time of realization.

The great part is that literally nothing I said in this paragraph is a negative at all.

Compare Penetralia to, for instance, Restless Day from Scatology; or maybe even compare Ostia to Tenderness of Wolves. Both are great, sure, but while the Rotorvator just don't check out at times, the Scatology ones seem to have an expiration date written on them. Only one exception to this rule: At the Heart of It All. If I had to draw another comparison, this would probably link up to The First Five Minutes After Death, and this time it's the latter paling in comparison to the former. It sounds sickly and isolated in a special unique way, unable to fight back, devoid of any possible bite: it sounds like it saw the actual horse rotorvator, the Four Horsemen slitting the horses' throats and meshing the jawbones into a gigantic, earthshattering plough. Nothing exists beyond At the Heart of It All. Nothing survives.

Coil, after all, always flirted with a sense of profound despair, even at their funniest and most tongue-in-cheek. This is relevant: not many other bands of their era display, or even have, that same sense of humor about not just themselves but the whole world; consequently, not many have reached the same scope of intent, and the same successful realization of said intents, as Coil. Partially unrelated: one of my favourite stories about them is that one time in the early 2000s when the rest of the band couldn't find Jhonn Balance after a gig in Greece — I think at least, I'm going off the top of my head here — so on the following morning they were forced to board their plane to their next gig in mainland Europe without him. So as they're about to play the gig without him, seeing as he simply isn't there, magically he shows up, and nobody could even imagine how he'd managed to get there on time. At the time Jhonn was already having big trouble with alcohol, had already broken up with Peter Christopherson. Many of these things I came to know through some tried-and-true Coil obsessives, and there's apparently a lot of them around: people who exchanged correspondence, cassette tapes, memories with some of the collaborators in the band or even Balance and Christopherson themselves. There's basically an army of unauthorized Coil biographers out there. But staying more strictly on the point, it's impossible to separate Coil and the lives of those who made up Coil; therefore it is impossible to separate Coil and life itself.

Some of you may remember me mentioning the aborted Autechre/Coil collab back in episode one of this series. In that very same conversation, we had a really deep dive into how Coil's attraction to — mostly Western — esotericism, even the most downright evil and uncomfortable parts of it (how could we ever forget the iconic "the industrial use of semen will revolutionise the human race" shirt?), stemmed from a more general interest in the fullness of life; and the more I think about that, the more understandable Coil's visual fascination with nature is. Four EPs, one for each of the major sun-related astronomical events introducing the four seasons; the luscious woods on the covers of the two Musick to Play in the Dark records; the rocky cliffs and the goats being a perfect aesthetic fold to The Remote Viewer's abrasive/ascetic hurdy-gurdy drones. All of this accompanied to music that seems to strive for the most eldritch effect possible — in one way or another, Coil's sound design is like looking very, very, very deep into the bottom of an abyss of your choice simply for the fun of it, or rather for the curiosity, the doubt that something of incalculable value might lie down there. We as humans really enjoy getting to know stuff much more than we enjoy actually knowing stuff, the progress of process is much more enticing to us than the staticity of completion. Coil still sound, twenty years after Balance's death and almost fifteen years after after Christopherson's death, like they are disciples. They listen just as much as we do.

And this predisposition to listen is specifically what makes them particularly apt at speaking, too. Coil express depth because they feel deeply, ultimately, and they don't fear emotion — any emotion. Which means they are just at ease analysing the diffusion of gossip and its subsequent deformation and bloating as they are discussing alcoholism and the search for oblivion, and what's better: these topics are discussed in two sister tracks (namely Red Queen and Ether). Both tracks, alienated from the context of their respective records, sound like relatively soothing jazzy piano ballads with some lunatic saying the most out-of-pocket shit possible on top of them, and some pretty fucked up background noises going on, Red Queen being the easiest possible application of this concept. But the effect gets somehow creepier when Jhonn Balance actually introduces a recognizable melody into the mix. This is probably the best moment to talk about Jhonn Balance's voice.

If I'd talked to Dog about this piece, they probably would once again link me to Drew Schorno's piece about "vestigial shamans" (you can find it here). Balance's singing is not about technique, but at the same time it's not as simple as the boomer-like concept of mojo, either. Balance could barely carry a melody through most of the time, to a point where some Coil tracks sound like they'd benefit heavily from a guest vocalist; early on, I believe, Coil — perhaps Balance himself — must have been convinced that was the case too, and for proof just look at the plethora of external one-off collaborators brought in the fold (among many notable names, one stands tall: the legendary JG Thirlwell). Then you try to actually substitute Balance, or maybe even sing your own version of the track, and it doesn't work anymore*. It simply stops being compelling in a way that is very hard to quantify. Yet another name popping up from the Autechre piece, i.e. that of Tom Waits: it's that lived-life element mixed with the more strictly performance-related aspects of vocal interpretation that makes the difference, sure, but it's about how you cannot tell where one ends and the other begins. Tom Waits achieves this by virtue of his life-long effort to turn into his own character, i.e. by way of sheer commitment to the bit if you're so inclined; Jhonn Balance — ironic that, of these two, he should be the one using an actual pseudonym — does that by simply being a vestigial shaman, a person so profoundly wired for jumping in and out of some other world that he seemed, for better or for worse, to be unable to stop doing that.

*There is, of course, only one exception to this rule, and that is Rose McDowall, i.e. most likely a vestigial shaman herself, at least judging by her Facebook. I am lucky enough to be her virtual friend on there, and she seems like an incredibly endearing person — speaking frankly, I'd love to buy her a drink and have a conversation at one point…

The shamanicity (is that even a word?) of Coil is stunningly matched by the sound design and production: so materic it's tangible, so abstract it forces you to wonder what's on the other side of the door. You don't always want to know. In the summer of 2016 I was listening to Batwings in a dark room, for some reason, and there was a crucifix in this room; I shone a flashlight on it and the crucifix projected its shadow on the wall and at that point I very distinctly felt something powerfully trying to make its way through my ribs, into my chest. I immediately left the room. To this day this remains the sole thing in my entire life that made me firmly and unequivocally grasp possibilities beyond what we see normally. And as much as I love waxing poetic over Balance's lyrics and vocals, in this case I believe it was mostly the repetitive, simple keyboard figure — it's almost as if they'd managed to shrink down a church organ and you could now play it, volume obviously adjusted for size, within your breast pocket. But the whole array of clicks and pops, or the insanely advanced vocal processing, displayed throughout the Musick to Play in the Dark/Moon's Milk era really elevates the composition and arrangements to new heights, making them a true spectacle to listen to even on the most low-specs sound systems.

The beautiful thing is that Coil doesn't necessarily need the extra bells and whistles and, more importantly, that they know when and where to use them. This is on display throughout most of their discography, but nowhere is it clearer than on The Ape of Naples, a posthumous record that is entirely built to represent Balance's aural eulogy. One of the most overlooked tracks on the record, I'd argue, is Tattooed Man, basically a simple pop song revolving around laid-back percussion and a simple accordion melody — until, of course, Balance himself intervenes almost shouting a tale of dead lookalikes, of love and hate, of self-image and acceptance (or lack thereof) of finality. It's hard to explain why this track would be more touching to me than the more openly emotional Fire of the Mind (link) (which has one of the best opening verses in the history of recorded music, if you ask me) or Going Up (my main issue with this one is that it comes after Teenage Lightning and Amber Rain, both incredible tracks that scarred me for life — in a positive way, but I do realize its necessity in the economy of the full record of course. It just is). I guess it's touching to find that at the end of the line, even resolute spiritworld straddlers get a bit scared of their own powers. But after all, the main requisite for being a shaman is feeling more than the others — being, maybe, more human than the others.

[rainisawriter]

Sweet Dreams~🌌 Prologue

This was written for the @slumberpartybingo event. Table of Contents.

“Huh?” I blinked dumbly at Jenna, my tired brain trying to process what she had just told me. It was still super early in the morning and I was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. I had only just sat down, too, and she ran up to me like I owed her money or something.

“You really aren’t a morning person, huh?” She laughed, leaning onto my desk. “I’m hosting a slumped party and I’m inviting the entire university. You’ll come, right?”

“A slumber party?” My brow furrowed as I scratched my cheek. “Aren’t we a bit too old for that?”

“You sound like my sister,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re never too old for a slumber party! At its core, it’s just about hanging out with friends and having fun. So, are you in or not?”

I opened my mouth to tell her that we’re not even friends, but I stopped short. If she’s inviting me, does that mean she considers me a friend? I couldn’t see how. She’s one of the popular kids and I’m not. We’ve only ever spoken in passing, too. I don’t even know her last name or favorite color.

She was staring at me, waiting patiently for my answer and I didn’t want to be that girl so I quickly agreed, instantly feeling regret when she threw her arms around me. “Awesome! I’ll send you the details after class.”

I blinked dumbly, watching as she rushed back to her friends at the other side of the room. I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell she has my number…

“Holy shit,” I muttered under my breath as I stood outside Jenna’s house. It was huge. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a house so big before. I knew I was way out of my depth here, especially with the sheer amount of people entering said house. My introvert instincts were kicking in and I was more than ready to run away.

“Hey, you made it!” Jenna’s boyfriend, Trent, grinned at me as he stepped out of his car. It was one of many that were parked up and down the street. 

Well, shit. I can’t just run away now that people know I’m here. Maybe if it was just a random student, sure, but Jenna’s boyfriend? He’d tell her he saw me for sure. I forced a smile, giving him a nod. “Yeah…”

“Come on in,” he motioned for me to follow before heading up the stone steps.

I reluctantly followed, stuffing my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. The house was filled to the brim with people drinking and dancing, though it wasn’t as wild as the movies often portray college parties to be. The night was still early, though, so maybe it’ll get worse.

“Grab yourself a drink. I’ll go find Jenna.” Trent grinned, slapping my shoulder before heading further into the house.

I winced. As a football star, he had quite a bit of strength that I don’t think he realized he possessed. I may be exaggerating a bit, but it felt hard to day upright when he hit me like that and I was sure it would be sore later. I rubbed my shoulder as I stepped into the kitchen. 

Several bottles of alcohol sat on the island in the middle of the room. I wasn’t really an alcohol person, so I tugged open the fridge in search of something else to drink. 

“Lucky~” I grinned, pulling a bottle of Dr. Pepper from behind the milk. It was the perfect thing to help get me through the night. I closed the door and nearly jumped out of my skin, seeing Jenna standing there with a bright smile on her face. I hadn’t even heard her enter.

“Hey, there you are!” 

“Um…” I cleared my throat, attempting to force my body to relax. “Hi…”

“Come on, the other girls are waiting!” She grabbed my arm, tugging me toward the stairs.

“Uh, waiting for what?”

“For you, silly!”

“Why?”

She didn’t answer as we reached the top of the stairs, taking a hard right. I was taken into the room at the very end of the hall where her friends were. They sat in a circle around a top hat, the dark room lit only by candles whose flames cast eerie shadows across the walls.

The door was shut and locked behind us.

I swallowed nervously. “I’m… a bit confused. What’s going on?”

“We,” started Jamilla as she leaned forward with a smile, “are going to make all of your dreams come true.”

“Huh?”

“Go on, sit down!” encouraged Jenna, pushing at my shoulders until I finally sat down. She squeezed in on my left, completing the circle. “Are we ready to play, ladies?”

“Yeah!” They chorused, cheering and clapping.

She picked up the hat and held it out to me with a smile. “Go on, you get to go first.”

I cautiously took the hat, blinking at it before looking at the others. They were all watching me closely. “What… do I do exactly?”

“Just reach in and pull out a piece of paper! Super easy, right?”

“Sure, but… what’s on said paper?”

“That’s the mystery, silly!” She giggled. “Go on!”

Hesitantly, I reached my hand into the hat, half expecting something to bite me but my fingers just felt slips of paper. I pulled one out, feeling a sudden wave of dizziness come over me. The hat slipped from my hand, falling onto its side as the papers spilled out across the floor.

I grabbed at my head, squeezing my eyes shut. “What…”

“Sh, just let it happen.” Jenna’s voice was muffled and it felt like my head was underwater. My vision was blurry, the room beginning to spin.

My lips parted to speak but no sound came out as darkness overtook me, my body falling back against the bedroom floor.

[onlyswan]

" in which jungkook loses you in the grocery store."

he turns to face you, encouraging you to go on as he browses the different brands and flavors of ramyeon. as he dumps the chosen ones to your cart, “like right now, you’re thinking of the food you like and the food i like. and you’re going to cook something healthy with veggies for dinner because you’ve been worried about me.”

Godddd- this is such a beautiful take. I love how she (you) look at things. I'm absolutely in love with this concept and that's how I'm gonnq see grocery stores from now on. Its like one of those sweet, comforting tumblr posts that make your heart soft.

he pulls you in for an embrace, burying his face in your hair to drown himself in the smell of your shampoo. you are his home. wherever in the world the two of you might be. in the four walls of your bedroom. in the middle of the noodles and pasta aisle. hiding in the closet. running in the park. in between heaven and hell. god. especially in fucking hell.

Love.love.love���

“i’m the lucky one since i’m the person you think about when you buy groceries.” you chuckle, rubbing his back tenderly.

MY HEART- I'm seriously gonna cry if you go on like this. The sweetest❣ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ❣

when he passes by the green bottles of alcohol, you’re already in the far back inspecting birthday candles in pure fascination. your birthday celebrations in the past weren’t that much special. you make a wish, blow a single candle planted in a simple dedication cake, then eat lots of food until you can’t anymore. and you used to wonder every year if it’s right to feel empty when you’re so full. if it’s right to feel upset at the overall concept of time because you’re growing old but not growing up. or maybe you’re just upset because you still have never tried blowing out sparkling candles?

Dear God- you're such an amazing writer ❤💫

this makes you chuckle lightheartedly, shaking your head as you set down the cartons of milk. “i swear, everything else about you totally makes up for the fact that you love white milk.”

🤣

I love her okay. (I'm seriously planning on kidnapping her)

grocery store drabble my baby 💕💕💕

omg that warms my heart so much 🥹 it’s really one of the places where i start thinking that humans are lovely <3 and maybe life isn’t so bad when they have buy 1 take 1 for toothpaste lmao. grocery shopping is just so therapeutic for me </3

oc’s duality here LMAOSJSKSJKD showing him love and coming for him at the same time. so unserious 😭

jungkook sleep with one eye open and keep watch on oc hello???&!?

[milkywaygg]

Time’s Passing Ch 6

Despite the awkwardness between them, there was no doubt that crashing at Linnie’s had it perks alongside its tension. For the last 10,000, Darren had to stress out over whether or not he was even going to be able to eat the slop slapped down on his tray, or if he was gonna have to give it up to his neighbor next to him, who was usually twice as big and strong as he was. Now, he had a delicious, warm meal placed in front of him every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, made with actual food instead of garage the kitchen staff fished up. Darren also took great satisfaction in sleeping in the full-sized bed Linnie had set up in the guest room, feeling as if he was slept on a cloud despite the mattress being a cheaper brand, but whatever. It beat sleeping on a cardboard fold just barely off the ground.

Daren rubbed his eyes as he left his cloud of a bed and made his way into the living room, pouring himself some cereal and milk before deciding to turn on the TV, making sure he was awake before he got a crack on the job searching. After he had found the milk and closed the refrigerator door however, there was a lime-green sticky note with cursive handwriting on it.

“Darren-

I’ve gone to work and had decided to go meet up with a new friend for dinner, so will be an hour or two late getting home. I’ve bought you some frozen meals in the last grocery bill in case you get hungry. Please don’t forget to pick up the groceries. Should be ready around 1 or 2.

Have a good day! I love you so so much. Please call if you need anything.

-Papa”

Darren groaned slightly as he finished reading the note; he really REALLY didn’t feel like going anywhere today, but it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice. After all, how would they eat? Darren checked the time to see that it was 11:30, giving him time to finish his breakfast and take a shower, getting ready to poof himself to the grocery store, giving that he was sure his car had been confiscated by a towing company.

After he had gotten ready, Darren took his wand and teleported himself to the supermarket, flying up to the customer service desk, towards a rather bored looking employee.

“Hey, I’ve got an order for a Linnie Cosma? Should be ready now.”, Darren said. The worker didn’t respond, but looked at the screen of order names lazily and then flew towards the back, grabbing several bags and throwing them on the counter, handing them to Darren. “Uhh thanks.”

As Darren left the line and parked himself at the corner to re-adjust his arms, he noticed that the environment has gotten colder, and his back seemed to be leaning on something. Turning around, he spotted a 6 pack of Blue Moon Beer, making Darren’s mouth drool and almost immediately grab a pack, shoveling it between all the grocery bags Linnie was having him carry.

Wait….Linnie would kill him if he ever saw that Darren was keeping beer in the house. He knew how much Linnie disapproved of alcoholic beverages ever since they had all lived with Nora. But then again, Darren was going to use his own money….he did what Linnie had asked him to do…and Darren was no fool. He could just stick the beer behind the rest of the groceries, or drink them all before Linnie had gotten home. It wasn’t like Linnie could see much without his glasses anyways so…ah, what the hell? Darren took the case of beer and paid for it with cash, finally poofing himself back home and loaded the groceries in their proper places, making sure the beer was well-hidden behind the two cartons of Milk and the pitcher of Ice Tea.

  “Oh Starla was such a sweetheart today! We had such a good time, didn’t we love? Didn’t we? Yes we did!”, Linnie cooed, pinching the toddler’s cheeks as she giggled, making Linnie’s heart brighten as he looked at the proud parents, “Oh, she was no trouble. They’re never any trouble. Just taking care of these little ones..why, I just think they’re my reason for getting out of bed. Not to be dramatic haha.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet? We’re so lucky to have you as her daycare teacher.”, Starla’s mother had said, smiling alongside her husband, who took their daughter from Linnie, “I’m guessing you have a lot of experience from your own children, Mr Linnie?”

“Oh yes, I’ve raised three children up to adulthood. All 3 of them are my pride and joy.”

“Oh really? Have you thought about another one? You still look so young, and I’m sure that little boy or girl would be so lucky to have you as a father.”

“Yes well..haha..”, Linnie stuttered, blushing a little bit, though he couldn’t help but smile brightly, “As much as I’d love to, I just haven’t had the chance. I’ve just been so busy with other things that I haven’t even considered having a fourth.”

“Haha well, we’re headed off. It’s our dinner date this evening and we’re trying to make it a family night.”, the father said, kissing little Starla on the cheek before the couple left, making Linnie’s heart melt. With all the kids gone, Linnie began shut down, picking up all the toys and putting them where they go, making sure all the children had been signed out with the correct date and time, making sure all equipment was sanitized, and turning out all the light before leaving the building for the day, poofing himself towards the sports grill where Delia said she wanted to meet up. Smiling, he took a seat across from her and Dani, who smiled cheerfully back at her.

“Mr Linnie, this place has really good chips.”, Dani cheered, snaking on the chips in front of her. Linnie laughed as he took a seat, blushing slightly at Delia.

“How are you, Delia?”

“Fine. Just got out of a long day at work before picking this one up from school.”, Delia said, ruffling the 5 year old’s hair, “How was your day?”

“Good. Was pretty much like every other day haha. Working.”

“Oh really. What do you do for a living, Linnie? I don’t remember if I asked you that already or..”

“No no it’s ok. I don’t mind. I’m a nursery teacher at the Fairy World Academy.”, Linnie said, rather proudly, “I’ve got both my Bachelors and Masters in child development and education, and I’m hoping to work on my doctorate someday.”

“Really? What made you quit?”

“I uhm…I ended up getting pregnant after I met this woman uhm…I don’t really want to talk about her if that’s alright.”

“Yea yea sure. I totally get it.”, Delia said, sipping on her soda, “I’m a chemist for a company that manufactures toothpaste.”

“Wow that’s impressive. I don’t think I understand a lick of math or science to really appreciate chemistry personally, haha, but it seems like a really interesting job.”

“Oh, it is when you blow up the lab and turn your own head into a frog.”, Delia laughed, bursted out laughing, making Linnie slightly confused. Delia smiled at Linnie, “I accidentally used way too much magic powder when mixing the chemicals. That spell wouldn’t ware off for a week.”

“Yeah! Aunty Delia wouldn’t stop ribbiting! Ribbit! Ribbit!”, Dani ribbited, making Delia blush in embarrassment and Linnie chuckle slightly.

“Well, I gotta say, your niece is absolutely adorable. I just love kids. Does she live with you or..”

“Oh no. She’s just visiting while her mommy and daddy are out on a work trip.”, Delia said, “Didn’t you say you had a son?”

“Yes well, technically I have two sons and one daughter, but they’re all my pride and joy.”, Linnie smiled, before reminding himself of what that couple at the school had told him. A fourth child? Was he ready? But even if he was, it wasn’t like Linnie could just pull a baby out of thin air. It was way too early to ask Delia to “accidentally” forget to use protection, and it wasn’t like he knew anyone else like that, but maybe he could adopt? But how would Darren feel about that, and where would he even start? What about baby stuff? Maybe he could use his older children’s stuff-

“Linnie, are you there?”, Delia asked, snapping her fingers in front of him, earning his attention and a small squeak from the male.

“O-oh dear, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to doze off.”

“Linnie, it’s fine, don’t worry about it. Oh look, our foods here!”

 Around 9 that evening, Linnie had finally came home, trying to keep himself awake from his night out. He looked around; Darren was no where to be found in the living room or kitchen, and his bedroom light was turned off. Linnie shrugged, assuming that his son had gone off to bed early that evening. Ready to hit the way himself, Linnie took off his velvet, green coat and hung it up in the closet, before floating towards the kitchen, grabbing a glass and setting it on the counter next to the refrigerator. Opening it, Linnie grabbed one of the milk cartons resting on the top shelf and unscrewed the lid, pouring some into the glass before reaching to put the milk back, pausing suddenly.

Right in front of his face was a half-drunk 6 pack of Blue Moon beer staring right at Linnie’s fact mockingly. Linnie felt his body shake as he set the milk carton down and tried to gather his feelings, trying to keep himself from making a scene. All his memories of his previous relationship seemed to flow back in and stab Linnie in the heart multiple times, replaying all the crashes and stains numerous alcohol bottles had caused to the walls, and all the times he was threatened if he didn’t go to the liquor store for his wife. Unable to steady himself, Linnie took a seat at the kitchen table, ignoring his glass of milk melting near the refrigerator. Where did that beer come from? He didn’t buy it. He never bought it for himself. Wait…

“Darren Cosma, get in here right now!”, Linnie said, raising his voice for once in his life.

[questioned-quetzalcoatl]

30 Days of OTP: Day 8, Shopping

Rating: K

Verse: Human AU

AN: Turns out, James is an impulsive buyer and an absolute nightmare to take shopping. Who would've guessed. However Kainga won't go anywhere without a list in his hand, making it all the more stressful

“Put it back.”

He’s not sure how many times he’s had to say it now, not even looking at the trolley as he says it because he can tell who has put it in depending on the sound it makes. Low and behold, it's James. Holding up a plushie of a crotchet crocodile he'd found from running around the store like a loose canon. God only knows how much chaos he's caused and where on earth he'd got that plushie from.

"But-...but-...why?!"

The heaviness of the sigh that escaped Kainga's lips was enough to weigh anyone down like a boulder. He took off his reading glasses to rub his tired eyes, clearly rather fed up by James's antics. Having to deal with a fully grown nation running around a store like a hyper-active puppy off its leash was enough to make anyone stressed. Kainga simply shot him a glare before putting his glasses back on.

"Because, I said so. Every time you buy something like that you only pay attention to it or a day or so. Then it becomes nothing but more junk that I have to clean up."

From the look that James pulls, Kainga knows he's made a good point. James impulsive spending habits is something that could make the worlds most patient person's blood boil with how infuriating he can be sometimes. No matter how hard he tries to be subtle about putting something in the trolley, its about as subtle as being hit by a train. Never paying attention to the list that Kainga had wrote out beforehand, often the reason he never lets James go shopping alone. He'd made the foolish mistake of sending James out for bread and milk, only for the New Zealander to return with no bread, no milk but a Bearded Dragon he'd fondly called Edmund. After one Sir Edmund Hilary because James always named his pets after his famous people, coupled with his Monitor lizard called Bruce McLaren.

"I promise I'll take good care of it." James smirked sheepishly at him before not-so-subtly placing the crocodile plushie into the trolley. "Please Kai-boob?~" His pleading tone only adding to the Tongan's rising frustration as all he can do is glare at him.

"No, James, I said put it back. We're here for groceries, not stupid stuffed toys. Take it out of the trolley and but it back."

“I didn’t put anything in baby, you’re just paranoid~”

Kainga is more surprised by the fact that James seemed to actually think that he was being subtle and sly about this. As if he hadn't just put the crocodile plushie into the trolley and the rattle that it made when he did was simply just the wind.

"I'm not paranoid," Kainga seethed in frustration, putting his reading glasses back on before looking down at the list in his hand. ",I saw you put the damn thing in-"

He’s not going to listen to either, he knows he’s not, swearing under his breath as he turns to find James gone, unsurprisingly, and yet another item that wasn’t on the shopping list in the trolley. As of right now, shifting through the shopping to find that plushie and put it back was the last thing he wanted to do. He had to make a mental note to NOT take James shopping with him in future, he just knew that one day it'd lead to disaster. Now with the moron no where in sight, he could try and continue in peace. Hopefully getting round to paying for everything before James could return with another strange item that took his fancy.

He soon found James, dicking around in the Beer and Wine section of the store. Picking out a variety of cheap Kiwi booze, the kind of stuff only a man like him could stomach and actually enjoy. Maybe getting some for himself wasn't a bad idea, after dealing with James all day he probably needed it at this point. He still had some of his nation's popular drink back home, Kava, but it didn't go too well with alcohol as it was plant based. His favorite was Tonga's infamous Ikale beer, overly disappointed to find they didn't sell it in New Zealand supermarkets. In the end, he just put a bottle of fruit flavored Champagne.

James placed the beer into the trolley and for once, Kainga didn't argue with him about it. Kainga caught sight of his grin when he placed the Radlers into the trolley, he couldn't help but be suspicious about it however. Like James had somehow snuck another item in without his knowledge this time.

"Is that everythin' Kai-boob?"

Kainga ran his eyes over the list again to make sure everything was ticked. "I think so, also stop calling me that, it's stupid."

"Aw I think it's cute, what's up with it, Kai-cutie?~"

Kainga turned a bright red but only grumbled in response as they headed to the checkout. He just gets nowhere with him, not noticing that there’s something that shouldn’t be there until the cashier has put it through the scanner and, by this point, he’s too tired to even argue with the woman over not wanting to buy it. Shopping with James is frustrating, blood boiling and frankly is going to result in him punching himself in the face one of these days.

Shopping with compulsive buyers is truly a nightmare but, maybe the look on James's face as he holds up his newly bought crotchet crocodile plushie makes it worth it after all.

[dramarnathandentalcare]

6 Home remedies to soothe and heal your sore tongue

Dr Amarnathan's Dental Care

Soreness in the tongue is a common symptom, although it is difficult to ignore. It shows as red patches or little bumps on the tip, one side, or the entire tongue. Meanwhile, it causes problems such as burning sensations, aches, and inflammation in the tongue, among other things.

How to get rid of tongue sores?

Depending on the cause of your tongue sores,  the dentist will recommend appropriate treatments or drugs. Similarly, you can treat the irritations with over-the-counter drugs, vitamin supplements, antibiotics, antifungals, topical gel, and so on.

On the other side, you can use natural therapies such as saltwater rinse to treat or relieve tongue sores. We've explained a few here. 

1) Ice cubes or Ice water

Ice has numbing effects, so we recommend sucking on ice cubes or ice pops to relieve a sore tongue. Similarly, sipping a cup of cold water at regular intervals soothes the irritations.

Similarly, do not try to chew ice cubes; this practice will destroy your teeth. 

2) Chamomile Tea

Chamomile contains anti-inflammatory effects.Prepare a cup of chamomile tea. Cool it down and swish it about in your mouth for a few minutes.

Otherwise, apply moistened chamomile tea to the sore parts of the tongue. 

3) Coconut Oil

Coconut oil possesses antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral effects.

Dip a cotton ball in coconut oil and gently rub it on the afflicted areas of the tongue. It reduces pain and accelerates the healing process.

4) Honey

Honey is a natural sweetener that possesses antimicrobial properties.

Honey can be gently rubbed on severe tongue sores several times per day. Similarly, sipping warm tea with honey will help get rid of a sore tongue.

5) Milk Of Magnesia

Milk of Magnesia is an acid neutralizer that helps to lower the pH levels in the mouth.

Apply a tiny amount of milk of magnesia to the afflicted area once day. It promotes healing and alleviates uncomfortable symptoms. 

6) Aloe Vera

Aloe Vera is well-known for its ability to hydrate the skin. It helps to reduce tongue discomfort and soreness.

As a result, we recommend that those suffering from painful tongues rinse their lips with aloe vera juice once a day.

Keeping your mouth clean is the most effective strategy to avoid such tongue sores. The solutions we discussed will hasten recovery and alleviate unpleasant comforts. In the interim, you should eat less acidic foods and avoid behaviors like smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages to swiftly get rid of tongue sores.

For more tips read the full blog here: https://www.dramarnathansdentalcare.com/sore-tongue-remedies

[livelectures2]

17 Exciting Molecular Biology Project Ideas for All Ages

Are you curious about the tiny building blocks of life that make up every living organism on our planet? Molecular biology is the field that delves into the fascinating world of genes, DNA, and proteins. Whether you're a student, a science enthusiast, or just someone looking for an engaging hobby, molecular biology projects can be a fantastic way to learn more about life at its most fundamental level.

In this blog, we've gathered 15+ molecular biology project ideas that are both educational and enjoyable. These projects are designed to be easy to understand and execute, making them suitable for all ages. So, let's embark on a journey into the realm of molecular biology and discover the wonders that lie within the tiniest of cells.

1. Extract DNA from a Strawberry

One of the most straightforward and exciting experiments is to extract DNA from a strawberry. You can observe DNA, the genetic material that carries the instructions for all living things, in your very own kitchen!

Materials Needed: Fresh strawberries, dishwashing detergent, salt, rubbing alcohol, and a Ziploc bag.

Procedure: Mash the strawberries, mix with detergent and salt, filter the mixture, and then add alcohol. Watch the DNA precipitate as a stringy, white substance.

2. Build a DNA Model with Candy

Creating a DNA model using candies can be a sweet way to understand its double-helix structure.

Materials Needed: Licorice (for the sugar-phosphate backbone), marshmallows or gummies (for the nitrogenous bases), and toothpicks.

Procedure: Thread the candies onto the toothpicks, alternating between licorice and marshmallows to form the double helix.

3. Investigate Genetic Traits in Your Family

Discovering the inheritance of genetic traits within your family can be an interesting project. This is a great way to learn about dominant and recessive genes.

Procedure: Observe and record various traits (like hair color, eye color, and tongue rolling) in your family members and analyze the patterns to understand how genes are passed down through generations.

4. Create Your Own Microscope Slide

Construct a simple microscope slide to observe the microorganisms and plant cells up close.

Materials Needed: A small piece of onion, a dropper, water, a microscope (if available).

Procedure: Place a thin slice of onion on a slide, add a drop of water, and gently press a cover slip over it. Observe under a microscope.

5. Investigate the Effects of Temperature on Enzyme Activity

Enzymes are essential proteins that drive chemical reactions in living organisms. You can examine how temperature affects enzyme activity using a common household item.

Materials Needed: Hydrogen peroxide (3%), yeast, a thermometer, and three small containers.

Procedure: Mix equal amounts of hydrogen peroxide and yeast in three containers, each at a different temperature (cold, room temperature, and warm). Observe the rate of gas production, which indicates enzyme activity.

6. Study Genetic Mutation with a Lactase Experiment

Lactase is the enzyme responsible for digesting lactose, the sugar in milk. Some people have a genetic mutation that makes them lactose intolerant. Investigate this genetic variation with a simple experiment.

Materials Needed: Milk, lactase supplement (available at drugstores), and a test strip for lactose.

Procedure: Mix milk with lactase supplement, dip a lactose test strip, and observe the result. Compare it to a control strip dipped in regular milk.

7. Observe the Process of Osmosis

Osmosis is the movement of water through a semipermeable membrane. You can observe this process using common kitchen items.

Materials Needed: Two glasses, water, salt, a raw egg, and a scale.

Procedure: Dissolve salt in one glass of water and place the egg in it. Place another egg in plain water. Weigh both eggs over a few days to observe the effects of osmosis.

8. Build a DNA Origami

Origami can be a fun and artistic way to learn about DNA's structure. Create your own paper DNA model!

Materials Needed: Paper, scissors, and markers.

Procedure: Cut the paper into strips and fold them to represent the double helix structure of DNA. Color the nitrogenous bases to illustrate their pairing.

9. Investigate Photosynthesis with Leaf Disks

Photosynthesis is the process by which plants convert sunlight into energy. You can witness this process in action with a simple experiment using leaf disks.

Materials Needed: Spinach leaves, baking soda, water, and a syringe.

Procedure: Submerge leaf disks in a baking soda solution, place them under light, and watch as oxygen bubbles form.

10. Extract RNA from an Onion

RNA is another essential molecule in molecular biology. Extracting RNA from an onion can be a unique and hands-on experience.

Materials Needed: An onion, rubbing alcohol, and a Ziploc bag.

Procedure: Blend a small piece of onion with a salt solution, filter it, and then add alcohol to precipitate the RNA.

11. Investigate the Effect of Different Liquids on Eggshells

Eggshells are made of calcium carbonate and can be used to study the effects of different liquids on bones, which are also made of calcium.

Materials Needed: Eggshells, vinegar, cola, and water.

Procedure: Submerge eggshells in each liquid and observe the changes over several days. This experiment can teach you about the importance of calcium in our bodies.

12. Test Food for the Presence of Starch

Starch is a carbohydrate commonly found in foods like potatoes and bread. You can test various food items for the presence of starch.

Materials Needed: Iodine solution (available at drugstores) and a variety of food items.

Procedure: Apply a few drops of iodine solution to different food items and observe color changes. Blue-black indicates the presence of starch.

13. Investigate the Rate of Respiration in Germinating Seeds

Seeds need energy to sprout, and respiration is the process that provides it. You can investigate the rate of respiration in germinating seeds.

Materials Needed: Germinating seeds (e.g., beans), a respirometer (or a simple setup with a bottle), and a ruler.

Procedure: Measure the rate at which germinating seeds consume oxygen and produce carbon dioxide over time.

14. Create a Bioluminescent Bacteria Garden

Did you know that some bacteria can glow in the dark? Create your own bioluminescent bacteria garden and witness this natural phenomenon.

Materials Needed: Bioluminescent bacteria (available online), a petri dish, and nutrient agar.

Procedure: Follow the instructions to grow bioluminescent bacteria on nutrient agar in a petri dish. Observe the beautiful glow in a dark room.

15. Investigate the pH Levels of Different Household Substances

pH is a measure of acidity or alkalinity. You can test the pH levels of various household substances using pH indicator strips.

Materials Needed: pH indicator strips (available online or at science supply stores), different household substances (like lemon juice, vinegar, baking soda, etc.).

Procedure: Dip the pH indicator strip into each substance and observe the color change to determine its pH level.

16. Explore Genetic Engineering with a Bacterial Transformation Experiment

This project is a bit more advanced but can be a fascinating exploration into genetic engineering.

Materials Needed: E. coli bacteria, plasmid DNA, calcium chloride, and a heat shock apparatus (available online).

Procedure: Follow instructions for transforming E. coli with a plasmid DNA containing a visible marker (e.g., green fluorescent protein). Observe the bacteria glow under UV light.

17. Investigate the Microbiome of Your Hands

Your hands host a diverse community of microorganisms. Investigate the microbiome of your hands by collecting samples from different areas and comparing their microbial diversity.

Materials Needed: Sterile cotton swabs, Petri dishes with agar, and an incubator (optional).

Procedure: Swab different areas of your hands and streak the swabs onto agar plates. Observe the growth of various colonies and learn about the diversity of microorganisms on your skin.

Molecular biology is a captivating field that explores the essence of life itself. These projects provide a hands-on and enjoyable way to dive into the world of genes, cells, and DNA. Whether you're a student looking for a science fair project or just someone curious about the building blocks of life, these ideas offer an excellent starting point. So, grab your lab coat or apron and embark on your own molecular biology adventure – the wonders of the microscopic world await!

Remember, science is all about exploration and discovery, so don't be afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. Each project is a step toward a greater understanding of the amazing world of molecular biology. Have fun, stay curious, and keep experimenting!