#like i am a person who specifically looks up controversies about things but I still can enjoy them

[dykedvonte]

yes hi I was that KH/SM anon I was just too nervous to openly send the ask anyways uhhhh yeah my hyperfixation for it has come back and I feel super awful about it but gdi the brainworms!!! mostly specifically for the sm side of things. there’s no canon anymore and the creators a bitch so they are The Peoples characters now. ngl im super surprised ur familiar with it, its p small

Hitting multiple parts of this, people are entitled to like what they like and this is one of the cases where the media is so nonsensical and cryptic that if you gain anything bad from it or it's creator you were like generally trying to be a bad person like...

KH is so much of a self contained ytp and like ngl many ytp contain the same shit as KH just about a separate source material. This isn't like to support the creator or whatever but I hate the idea you cant watch or consume a single thing that has an ounce of controversy or you'll be a bad person/supporter.

Also can you believe the Seattle Seahawks won the superbowl?

[metamatar]

hope it's okay to ask, but do you have any advice for like. internalizing that self harm and suicide aren't really helpful

obvs this is all personal, so depending on your personal beliefs and the dimensions of depression it may not apply. im sure some of this can make it worse for you personally. reader beware etc. im sure this is terribly revealing of what my problems are. but i can't ignore you.

for self harm my advice here is more harm reduction bc i think the internalisation of that not being useful to you is way more specific to why you harm and needs like. work.

for suicide, because i think fighting both takes different tactics and some of these are things that work temporarily:

relief from anguish is a feeling. you have to be alive to experience a feeling. even if you don't remember that feeling and don't feel capable of it what if you stuck around to see it? it would be transcendent.

you want out from something. think about drastic decisions you can take before killing yourself that can change things that fuck you up. drop out of school? quit your job? start living on a friends couch? break up with your partner? trans your gender?

suicide closes off any other possibility. it is a very loud scream of autonomy but it will be the last time you get to make a decision. is that truly enough autonomy for you?

you have wanted to die before. you have not wanted to die before. your feelings are complicated and contradictory. you cannot entrust your whole life to them.

be curious about your future. im serious. i've changed so much by now from the limiting self i was when i was 15 and couldn't imagine being 18 and now im beyond 25 and im curious what i'd be like at 35. bargain. to see those years. i mean maybe you'll be cured which is a fun fantasy but i don't really believe that. maybe you'll be worse. but which? and how? the wikipedia summary of your life is not the life experience. the texture of your anguish changes too.

consider survival more valuable to your self worth. it matters. you had to do it anyway but you did it so it still matters. yeah you cracked a bit but you can be proud of being alive.

now, more controversially before you kill yourself, consider making it worse. indulge self destruction some other way. do something inadvisable that's less permanent.

and now, after endorsing self harm as a means of avoiding suicide and making everyone mad. stuff i've internalised to do less self harm:

i am the only person in the world responsible for me. choose less harm. the doctors won't choose less but i will.

same stuff about making one drastic change.

just one thing make it safer? then do it safer. you can look this stuff up on forums.

pick a replacement behaviour that you think is slightly better. do it. fail it. do it again. force yourself to over indulge in it while the haze passes.

you kind of have to sit with the things that hurt you that the self harm soothes and try to change them. sorry. do it slowly and do it excessively and keep trying.

i am not the only person in the world who does this. read about it talk about it and keep it held in your heart that this is something about yourself that you feel the need to change. i like art about it.

fighting it a little is giving you a fresher newer self back. do you like them? don't you want to meet them?

relief is not contentment. wouldn't contentment be even more transcendent?

[sexhaver]

so i am 100% on your side about the yugioh having ridiculous rules about bluffing thing. but what do you think of probably the most infamous pithing needle bit where the guy named borborygmos at a modern tournie and his opponent argued and successfully won with borborygmos, enraged since that wasnt the card that was named. should he have been given that?

yes, imo, with the caveat that obviously the "patch" to tournament rules to stop that from happening in the future is good and necessary and should have been there since day 1. since it wasn't, though, he didn't break any rules, and he closed a loophole in one of the most bombastic ways possible. like he did what sovcits think you can do in an actual court

personally my favorite Controversial MTG Moment was when Pascal Maynard was drafting his deck at GP Las Vegas. drafting is a format where you open a pack, take a card from each, pass them to the the player sitting next to you, and then repeat this process with three packs until you have enough cards for a 40-card deck. since this was a sanctioned event, the cards in these packs also came with a unique watermark stamp to make cheating impossible and make the cards more valuable afterwards. Pascal is drafting a red burn deck, so he's looking for red burn spells. he opens his second pack, which contains Burst Lightning. this is exactly the kind of spell he's looking for.

the pack also contains Tarmogoyf, a two-mana green creature Pascal's deck has no way of casting.

a foil Tarmogoyf.

a foil Tarmogoyf with a unique watermark.

non-foil, non-stamped Tarmogoyf, at the time, was a $200 card.

he picks the Tarmogoyf.

while being livestreamed.

pros lose their fucking MINDS

i can't find many more tweets to screenshot here because a lot of them were deleted in the years since, but trust me, there was a sizable contingent of pro players who thought this signaled the death of competitive integrity in Magic. this contingent named the event "Goyfgate", which is the best name for anything ever.

Pascal ended up coming in third at the event, missing out on a potential first prize of around $10k (i couldn't find an exact number for GP Las Vegas 2015 specifically but this seems in line with other events at the same timeframe), in large part due to the absence of Burst Lightning from his deck.

he then turned around and sold the Goyf in question on eBay, and because of the controversy stirred up by Goyfgate specifically, it ended up selling for literally $15,000 instead of the $1000 people had predicted beforehand. Pascal then gave half the money to charity and still made more money than he would have by coming in second place. truly a story for the ages and a great barometer of how seriously people take card games

[thesezombiestastelikeashes]

Normally I post about Dimension 20 on my main blog but a thing happened on Adventuring Party and I'm gonna talk about it

So watching through the Episode 2 Adventuring Party, something really amazing happened at 2:15 ish. And now I'm gonna talk about consent and content in Tabletop and how @quiddie and Izzy (and everyone else at the table) absolutely fucking nailed it

Edited because I cannot believe I spelled Aabria wrong so many damn times in a row I'm so sorry

Specifics below the cut for spoilers and content warning: parasites and squick

The notes for DMs (and players) to take away from this:

Look for soft no's, even if you know your players. Make space for a no, even if you are excited. Once the no has been said, move on and no complaining that someone's comfort level isn't the same as yours.

So Brennan asked a question about the parasites, Chipmunks, and bear in Adventuring Party to clarify if Chipmunks and Parasite were one in the same or different entities (it was just the chipmunks being massively fucked up)

Aabria, as DMs who put their entire heart and soul into making a campaign often do, went to start explaining the basis for the parasites (link to ribbon worms, very content warn, dead dove do not eat). The table reacted. Brennan does a very physical ick response, Erika's face was very "I am listening to something gross", while the rest of the table looked interested in that way nerds do when they don't know what they're walking into. And Izzy said "I want you to stop."

Aabria just said ok, told the camera/audience to google it, and they moved on.

And I wanna talk about what a baller move that is on Aabria and Izzy's parts. (And Quiddie if you see this please tell Izzy she's an inspiration and I adore her and all of the compliments)

So first and maybe least controversial: Aabria

-While giving the explanation of the fucked up thing she slows down her talking (I'm not sure if it was intentional but it seemed it so I'm gonna talk about it) Instead of rushing through the explanation the way people excited tend to do she said everything slowly, gave lots of pauses to be interrupted, and really took the time to let the party know what she was describing was icky

-While doing the describing, she looked around the table. Not just at the person with the biggest visual reaction, but you can watch her make the rounds with her eyes to look at everyone and make sure they all know she is still engaging with them and checking in on them

-Her "ok" is so pleasant. It's not just polite, it's not just kind, it's upbeat and pleasant to listen to. There's no judgement in it, there's no "but I wanted to keep talking about this thing" its just "ok"

-And that's the fucking hard part, letting someone know you've heard them without any judgment or disappointment when they want you to stop talking about something

And now Izzy

-Most people aren't going to applaud someone for saying "I want you to stop" to a DM explaining something but I will. A+ Izzy

-She found her boundary and enforced it and felt comfortable with it

-She did it in such a specific way "want" instead of "need"; "I want" instead of "You need", not to mention the full firmness of it where it couldn't be misinterpreted (A+, hardest part)

-The flick of her eyes to the rest of the table, I can't tell if she's checking in with other people's comfort level or just watching Brennan's arm thing, but the way she looks at her fellow players is just such a Thing that I cannot Words about, whether its checking in for their comfort or looking for support for hers its an important look that I might be reading too much into.

Now some other important beats

-No one comments that Izzy made Aabria stop.

-Brennan says he can connect with Aabria later about it, without mentioning any of the content, and Siobhan and Jasper make the note of "maybe don't google it" but no one mentions the content after Izzy says it

-They just move on. Like even if it briefly sounds like they might hit back onto it (we'll never know what Erika was leading to with their "I've always been obsessed with") they just move on immediately

It's a goddamned masterclass of consent at the table. Aabria checking in and looking for soft no's and giving space for hard no's and then once a hard no was thrown immediately shifting the entire direction of the conversation was amazing.

[maplewozapi]

Hello! I have been following you for a while and first of all I want to say that your artstyle and character designs are stunning! You have a great sense of creativity and an eye for detail like I am always happy to see a new character of yours or their redesigns when they appear on my timeline (let's say that they make me really THINK about my own character designs and inspire me to always try and redesign them with more thought than before :D). I hope one day I will gather myself up and be able to commission you because I really wish to 😭

But my main question which had been in my mind for a while: You made a little post about explaining what Wojapi is a while back and I realized that it looks really similar to a food that my country (funny enough It's Czechia where we use the ž and š which you know but still I find it as a funny coincidence) has and specifically my smaller region where I live and we call it Žahour -> which is a not too sweet, not too sour, hot sauce made out of forest blueberries that is usually served either with pancakes or a HUGE puffy dumpling with no filling and usually no strong taste! I can tell you It's really good but I think you can imagine pretty well how it could taste like :D

I don't think they are in any way connected they just became their own things sepparated from eachother in each culture but still I think It's really nice and I wanted to thank you for kinda reminding me that Žahour exists since I haven't had it in a long time and I honestly miss it. That is all from me and I hope you have a nice day! ☀️

They you so much 🥺 that’s so touching, I love character design so much I’m so happy you enjoy it. idk if I talked about the orthography I used but it is Czech actually and I believe has the same rules. It’s a big controversy because it was made and owned but a “European, White, Czech, guy who has since copyrighted his orthography of the Lakota language. There’s many orthographies for Lakota it was never a written language I personally use the Czech one because of my dyslexia and it has indicators where the sounds are supposed to go, and I know people who worked on it. So the older orthography and more popular was “wojapi” and I used the Czech “wožapi” spelling not to come up in google searches for the food Wojapi lol. Boiling berries is definitely a universal dish, but I think žahour might be the closest to wojapi in texture and taste some of the pancakes even look like fry bread

[misskattylashes]

My controversial Milex theory

So, common lore is that Miles has always been this free and easy, liberated rocker, and Alex was the repressed, closeted one, holding Miles back from coming out. But recent events have made me think differently. There was the Miles at church thing, the realisation from Knee Socks that that is possibly about Miles and his religious guilt (the ghost in your room etc), and now the Suki Waterhouse thing. He has deliberately posted her song, congratulating her on her hit. It is an unusual move for him, but there won’t be any speculation about them because she is settled with Robert Pattison and they have recently had a baby. It is like Miles is making an effort to show there is no bad blood between them.

Why? Well I am thinking that maybe he is gearing up to come out, and seeing as Suki was his biggest publicised romance and she was supposed to have left him for Bradley Cooper (who it is rumoured also gay/bi) then Miles is now saying between the lines that it is no big deal what happened between them.

Alex always gets the bad rap because he is the one who has had long term girlfriends, but I think we have to look closer at Miles. He too has been in situations where he was sticking his tongue down the throat of a Page Three Girl or some model, and his lyrics in the early days were full of ‘she’ and ‘girl’ much more than FWN or Humbug. Even his videos always had females in them, just as much as AM’s videos (and let’s not forget, Alex has never fully interacted with a woman in an MV).

Personally, I think from 2008 – 2015 Miles and Alex had a casual thing going, but listening to Alex’s lyrics from this period, I would say that he realised early on that he was in love with Miles, and it was an open secret. See any clip of the Monkeys being interviewed around this time and the other boys pull faces when he talks about Miles. Whereas I think Miles was still convincing himself he could ‘go straight’ if he wanted to. I say this because in between DWYA and CDG we have EYCTE, and twice Alex has made reference to them ‘falling in love’ during this time, and by the end of the tour, Miles looks as lovesick and smitten with Alex as Alex has with him since 2008. Miles could no longer fight his feelings and had to come to terms with his sexuality, but by then he had mucked Alex around too much, and Alex had to go back to being CEO of Arctic Monkeys, so Alex wouldn’t commit to him. Hence you get CDG (but you also get the Ultracheese). This led to their breakdown around 2017 -2018. But instead of what everyone thinks, that La Cigale was the beginning of the end, I think it was the opposite.

By NYE 2018/2019 they are in their local in Bethnal Green, celebrating (Louise is there but Alex is trying to ignore her) and by Change the Show, Miles’ lyrics are no longer gender specific (apart from Caroline) and he sounds more annoyed at Alex rather than full of angst and hurt like CDG.

Then we get to OMB/The Car.  OMB is full of songs where Miles is reflecting upon his own behaviour, and on The Car we have Jet Skis and Hello You that hint at their reconciliation.

So in summary, I think Alex’s closet is very public but in their inner circle everyone knew the truth, but Miles’ struggles were far more internal and it took for him to realise he was in love with Alex for him to come to terms with who he really was and he had to become comfortable with that before they had any future.

[birdiebirdjay]

controversial opinions on characters? (specifically harry potter)

hi anon! thanks for the ask :)

hmmmm i have quite a few

i don't like luna lovegood. i think she's very irritating as a person and i would absolutely go batshit if i had to interact with her in real life. she is the wizard equivalent of a flat earther and an anti vaxxer, not a spiritual guide. hermione wasn't narrow minded for doubting her and xeno, they were the narrow minded ones for never questioning their beliefs despite the MOUNTAINS of evidence against them. rahhh she makes me so angry. (i hate that i have to specify, but this isn't misogynistic, i would feel the same if she was a guy.)

lucius malfoy is a relatively harmless guy, he's just slippery. he gives me such peacock vibes. he just wants to show off and look rich and not be questioned. (also he def dotes on narcissa and draco which is adorable to explore in fics <3 i think he would be an amazing father to a little girl and would have loved a daughter which i like exploring in my fics, but that's just a headcanon)

draco is the same way, i feel. iirc he's usually too scared to start shit unless crabbe and goyle are there, he just makes me laugh tbh. of course he does do and say some shitty things but i am just. unable to take him seriously. this may be because i haven't thought about his character in a while, but as of right now, i don't really see him as evil OR a sympathetic little boy. he's just. a little dude. (he is more dangerous than his father though, i'll give him that.) i mean if marauders stans are allowed to glorify james potter and put him on a pedestal, i'm allowed to have this.

percy weasley! i love percy so much, i think this is an uncommon opinion but i don't really know. i think he's amazing, i've already talked about him a lot on my blog so ye :)

i think the weasley family is dysfunctional asf. i don't think i personally can explain it, but this post by @/arkadijxpancakes does a great job of comprehensively analyzing their history and dynamics as well as showing why each weasley is the way they are. super good read!

albus dumbledore: i don't know why this is controversial but i actually think he was a good character, all things considered. yes, he did some bad things, but they were to help save the wizarding world in the end. he set it all up.

severus snape: i think he's awesome, deserved WAY better, and was a traumatized character who is severely overhated. please don't try to fight me on this, you'll just give me a headache.

lily evans: this is a very new opinion of mine but... i don't think she was a great person. i used to wonder 'how could james potter, a shitty little twit twat, end up with such a wonderful and kind and amazing person?' but i've come to realize, she's really not those things. she was kind of a shit friend from what we know. i still think she's very interesting, but not necessarily a good person.

harry potter!! i want to include him because i think that quite frankly he is an awesome little dude but is super underrated and borderline disliked by a big part of the fandom. though i personally feel like he could have been written better in some ways, i still love him tons and i think he deserves more appreciation <33 (also i adore the idea of an oddly specific au where percy and oliver team up to take care of lil tiny first year harry)

neville longbottom: this may be the most controversial one yet but i just don't feel the hype. i feel like he was largely unimportant in the first six books besides as a side character (but it's been a while since i read most of them, so correct me if i'm wrong) and yeah he was cool in the seventh, but like... i still don't feel it. he was pretty boring imo. i think i logically understand why he's loved, but i don't personally relate :/

(canon) james potter: hate him. -100000000/10. he can go die. (OH WAIT HE ALREADY DID!) i'm sorry, i just cannot like him. fanon james is awesome and super cute and lovable, but fanon james is a whole different person than canon james. if we compare young severus to harry, james is dudley dursley in literally every way. rich, privileged, gets away with everything, and loves picking on powerless and vulnerable people for fun. the only difference is that james potter tended to do it with a partner/group, and dudley could do it on his own. oh, and dudley apologized, i guess. it was pretty half assed but we did see him trying to be better with the teacup and stuff. they both suck, obviously, but at least dudley had a slight turning point. maybe i just don't like james because we never saw him be apologetic or regret anything in canon? idk.

cho chang: i honestly really liked her! i thought she and harry could have been super cute ever since i read the third book. now obviously valentines day of 1996 was a disaster, but i still think that if she and harry had met up again after the war and after they had figured themselves out, they could have sort of talked and apologized and moved on and possibly rekindled. idk, this isn't really as ~controversial~ as some of the others because i feel like cho chang is just more forgotten than unpopular or controversial, but i don't see a lot of charry content out there so i'm putting this here :]

one last thing i almost forgot, VIKTOR KRUM IS A FUCKING CREEP!! i used to be more hesitant about voicing this opinion because he's so loved in the fandom, but GOD DAMN he's a creep. as a famous, rich, popular adult, he asks out a 15 year old and is super nice to her and appreciates her intellect and is generally very sweet to her, but that just. that literally just sounds like grooming to me?? wtf?? i mean if i was asked out at 15 by an 18 year old, i would be VERY creeped out. also he comments on how attractive ginny (15 at the time) is at bill's wedding when HE IS IN HIS 20s. he then makes a comment along the lines of 'what's the point of being famous if all the good looking girls are taken?' HEY HERE'S AN IDEA, FIND A WOMAN INSTEAD OF A GIRL??

there's gotta be more controversial opinions i have but no one else comes to mind right now; feel free to request opinions on specific characters! i have a lot of those :]

[islandofsages]

darling heart.

summary: in which you are someone who participates in/identifies with jirai kei culture.

characters: heartslabyul boys x gn reader

tags: relationship not specified, fluff, imagines format

warnings: mentions of mental health, mentions of self-destructive tendencies

author's notes: hiiii this is very self-indulgent bc i am a jirai kei babe,, im specifically a jirai danshi <3 i might do for other dorms too, depending on my motivation lol you can find out more by searching up jirai kei tho dont just read the jfashion wiki for it, it's more than just a fashion style. also beware of potentially triggering stuff since it deals with mental health and all

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s intrigued by this subculture that you participate in and he’d ask you more about it, if you don't mind telling him - he’ll do his own research too anyway

When he finds out it's basically a subculture consisting of people with emotion dysregulation issues and is generally controversial, he checks up on you and asks you if you're okay or not

You laugh then – you’ve had your ups and downs but really, so has everyone. You hope reading about it hasn't scared him off

He’d feel like calling you a “landmine type” is too insensitive but you assure him that there's nothing to worry about and that people who participate in the subculture has reclaimed such stereotypes and fully embrace it

He’d really enjoy seeing you decked out in jirai kei fashion; he may want to try it himself but he’d insist that it's not in his place to participate, only support from the sidelines

You do get him to try out clothes that are similar to or inspired by the culture though – he seems to be comfortable in the style and you're happy that something that you enjoy can also bring the same joy to him

You’ll also recommend some songs to him, especially ones that you think would help him in studying despite the sometimes concerning lyrical content

If someone tries to bully you for identifying with the subculture, he’d step in immediately and defend your honor

“What right do you have in deciding what (Y/N) identifies with? That's what I thought. I’m always in the right.”

Through your downs and ups, Riddle will always be there for you.

Ace Trappola

He has heard of it before but he thought it was only a type of fashion, not a whole subculture with more substance to it than clothes

You’d infodump to him all about it and your journey with it, whether you just discovered it or have been identifying with it for a long time – he listens to you curiously all the while

He’s caught off guard for a moment by the more controversial and depressing part of it but he quickly recovers

He’s happy for you and glad that you’re comfortable having such a culture define a part of you

Though he implores not to do all the self-destructive stuff if you could and he’ll look out for you more just in case

He definitely thinks you rock while wearing your jirai kei outfits; it’s not his style but he wouldn’t mind trying it once, just to get a feel for the style

“Yeah, this is definitely not my thing… you, on the other hand, look pretty awesome.”

You’d give him a link for your playlist (or a playlist you’ve saved) and he’d listen to it when he’s bored – ends up adding a few songs to his personal playlist

If he finds anyone stereotyping you unnecessarily, he’ll call them out, saying as if they’re any better

Despite everything, you are still uniquely you in his eyes.

Deuce Spade

He apologizes for not knowing too much about it when you bring it up and you tell him it’s okay because it gives you an excuse to ramble about it

You tell him what it entails and how you’ve come to find out about it, sifting through your past experiences both good and bad

He tries very hard to be understanding, even if he doesn’t really get it. You’re just grateful to have his support

“I don’t really get it but it gives you a sense of community, right? I think that’s pretty cool!”

He’s also a little concerned about the mental illness part so he’d regularly check up on you to make sure you’re doing okay

He’d ask you to tell him more about your experiences with the subculture if you have any more and if anything exciting happens, you go to him first

Such as acquiring a brand new article of jirai kei clothing for example! He thinks the style is super pretty and fits you really, really well

He’d listen to the music together with you, sharing earphones and all – maybe he would even listen to them while he tries to do anything

He’ll be your guard dog and bite back whoever dares to make fun of you for being part of the subculture’s community you’ll have to calm him down sometimes

You couldn’t ask for a better cheerleader than him.

Cater Diamond

He’s always known about the subculture and although he doesn't participate in it, he thinks it's really neat

You tell him more about it and about the misconceptions people have about it so that he doesn't misunderstand

He’s super stoked that he knows someone in real life who actually participates in the subculture since he gets to see how it actually is in reality

He mostly knows about the fashion and when you come rocking up to him wearing the classic jirai kei look, he tries his best not to fanboy

He compliments you then proceeds to ask you where you got it – though cute styles like it aren’t his thing, he feels like he can give this style a try

He’d match with you on days he doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with more cutesy styles and snap pictures of you two to post on Magicam

He’d also go scouring for the music online to add more songs to his already rapidly growing playlist. He’d share some recommendations with you too!

Unintentionally got you more jirai kei friends since some people saw his posts about matching with you on Magicam; even people you already know commented on his post

“Look at us, (Y/N)! We’re totally Magicam-famous now~”

You laugh with him, head thrown back while the seeds of your relationship bloom behind where the two of you sit.

Trey Clover

He doesn’t know too much about it so he’ll ask you to explain to him what it is – to which you excitedly agree to

You tell him everything from the origins to how you’ve come to participate in the subculture – he nods patiently all the while

The mental health part of it has him questioning you a bit but he has no ill intention, he’s simply looking out for you and is worried about you

He’s supportive all the way and thinks it’s nice that you have something you’re passionate about. He’d even do his own research when he has the time

He’s pleasantly surprised when you show up wearing jirai kei fashion one day; he definitely thinks you look striking in the get-up

He wouldn’t mind going with you if you were to shop for more jirai kei-related things – he would joke you’ll have to repay by helping him out another time though

He’ll listen to your song recommendations and if he likes them enough, he’d listen to them while he’s in the kitchen. He likes that they remind him of you

“Oh, this one’s pretty catchy. …These lyrics though…”

Going places with you certainly catches attention sometimes but he doesn’t mind, as long as you’re happy and comfortable in your own skin

His name truly defines him – you sure feel lucky to have him in your life.

[jjinx1998]

xxtc-96xx Callout post

To start I want you to know I didn't want things to have to come to this but after recent developments and discussions from others I cannot ignore what's been going on for years now. This is a problem revolving around the user @xxtc-96xx , the comic Endertale, and the Undertale fandom. I will try to explain what I know and offer proof when I can, but there might be some sloppiness as this is my first real post on Tumblr. If there is any technical issues about this post, please let me know so I can fix it.

Let me start from the beginning. I have been a long time fan of xxtc-96xx since about 2016 (I will refer to them as TC to make it easier). I have enjoyed looking at the art they create for many years, mainly the ones revolving around Endertale.

Endertale is a fan comic that TC made of the game Undertale. It's a very decent story with a pleasant art style. I would recommend it but I cannot and I will get to why. You see TC has suffered from something that just about any creator can relate to, burnout. The most recent comic page being posted in 2021 though there was already a hiatus established before that.

While they made it long clear that they needed to go on break for personal reasons, people wanted to ask for when they will continue it. Some of them calm and reasonable and other's were very much not nice. TC answered them honestly at first.

Then it started to devolve into troll responses or just not answering.

Not just on Tumblr but people kept asking on Deviantart as well. In fact people are still asking today in 2024. It has gotten so frequent that TC felt it necessary to change their profile header to this:

And it has stayed that way for so long I lost track of when it started. To be fair, even I found the frequent questions to be overwhelming and they just like every artist who makes stuff for free is entitled to take a break from their work. However this post isn't a complaint about how long it takes to finish a comic, it's about something that started because of the wait.

See, their original reason to take a break was because they were too busy with personal matters for them to commit to an actual comic. But as their history up to today has shown that's no longer a valid excuse. As time went on they started to show an interest in the Pokemon fandom. specifically the pokemon known as Mewtwo. To make a long story short, what started as small doodles grew into a whole bunch of fancomics and animations. To compare, they have drawn nearly four times as many Pokemon drawings compared to Undertale. Now, it is perfectly fair and acceptable to find an interest in a different fandom. And while I personally prefer Undertale over Pokemon I completely supported their decision to focus on other fandoms and enjoyed what they made. I also understood their issues with the fandom at the time, some people were rather aggressive, rude, or demanding the comic to be completed, a comic that's completely free that they make no profit out of. I even recall one point they tried to unsuccessfully drag a different content creator into this issue as if it would somehow work.

However I started to notice they had a warped perception on the fandom. Rather than blame the few people that harassed them online with constant asks, they believed that the entire fandom as a whole is to blame as declared it all toxic. Something they insist on repeating to all their fans and making them believe their opinion as fact.

Now for the record I am very aware of how toxic this fandom was and can be at times. I was around since the beginning and have seen just about every drama that has come. From the fans harassing you for not doing the pacifist route in the first time playing, people arguing if either Frisk or Chara is a really bad person, arguing over Frisk's and Chara's gender, is genocide the right choice, is Toriel the bad guy or Asgore, and a controversy revolving around a certain creator of the au Glitchtale (the last one TC coincidentally emulates their "Delay work for one week for every ask" and finds it amusing). I know this fandom is not the best but I love it all the same, it's as much a part of my life as it is for TC. I know I am not perfect at showing my interest for Undertale, as this image of a private ask shows.

Or this time I made a obviously joke ask and apparently I didn't realize a lot of people don't understand sarcasm.

Or when I tried to ask this sincere and nonaggressive question, one of the few times TC isn't putting up some kind of attitude.

Or this other ask from me.

At the end of the day this is just a comic. No one has any right to demand them to continue it or make death threats, this is completely unacceptable. However, at the same time this doesn't mean the creator should dehumanize the entire fandom or punish the few that are being respectful. They wait and what do they get, people mocking them and bullying them. That's what I realized in the past week when I engaged in the comments of a few posts. TC allow their fans to bully the fandom.

I tried to be as calm and reasonable as I can and yet I get called out as a toxic fan. And in the end did TC scold everyone else, no, they basically told me to shut up. I overestimated the fans intelligence and if they could handle basic logic, read the comments for yourself to see my point. As someone with Asperger and anger issues, it's a god given miracle I am still trying to maintain my composure within this insanity that has been going on for years. I have spoken with several content creators who asked to remain anonymous about this entire fiasco and we have similar conclusions about TC.

TC has been through a lot of painful and hurtful comments over the years that they did not deserve in the slightest. They are entitled to do whatever they want with their comic and works. Saying a fandom is or isn't toxic is unhelpful as you fundamentally miss the mark on how fandom culture works. As a creator, it is not right to hang this hiatus over people's heads and string them along. TC does not respect their Undertale fans in the slightest and mocks those who is still waiting. They indirectly encourage their other fans to bully and dehumanize the rest.

I held back on making a comment about all this for two reasons. One, TC's fandom terrifies me. They are complete smug hypocrites who spend way too much time on the internet that they don't realize that if they use their words in real life they will get punched in the face for it. Two, despite everything I still believe that TC can change. I like to believe the best in everyone and that there is hope that maybe this time TC will realize they have become the very thing they hate. That hope has faded to cinders. I'm done with TC, my only concern is the people remaining to wait for the comic.

To everyone who is waiting for Endertale and/or following TC because you like their Undertale stuff, leave them and never come back. They do not respect you, they look down on you, they laugh watching you wait, you deserve better than them. Even if they do finish the comic eventually it will not be made out of love or passion.

DO NOT harass and bully them because of my words. I will not tolerate any attempt to do so.

My final words are for TC if they even decide to read this:

TC, I know we are not friends, you made that clear long ago but I was hoping we could've been. You were a huge inspiration for me in the past and was what pushed me to attempt learning about art. I looked up to you and tried to support you when you were feeling down. You are no longer that person.

You do not have the right to condemn an entire fandom as toxic and declare it as a fact of life. It's people like you that keep the fandoms so divided to this day. It's because of people like you I am scared for my life if I ever mention Undertale in public. Your fixation on the sins of the past prevents us from moving forward. I do not excuse what happened but the past is in the past, get over it and grow up, you are an adult so act like it.

You say you don't owe us any comic or works, well at the same time if you want to mistreat the fandom I care about then I or anybody don't owe you any respect yet I did for nearly five years.

Why? Because I cared about how this all made you feel. What do you see when you look at me, another obsessed toxic fan who should keep their mouth shut or a PERSON with their own thoughts feelings and beliefs?

One of your problems is that you think nothing ever seems to be your fault, just the fans who keep asking. Well maybe they wouldn't have asked if you didn't leave them hanging for almost five years. To me, it no longer matters if you finish Endertale or not.

Maybe you still think it isn't your fault, then that makes me the idiot for hoping you can be better. You hurt me, really hurt me. I don't think I can ever trust someone like you again.

Do you know what I really want?

Your apology. I want you to make a genuine apology to me and the fandom at your actions over the years. I won't block you because being the idiot I am I hope my words mean something to you and you'll want to chat.

But until you wise up ask yourself this familiar question,

Do you really think you are above consequences?

[lailoken]

hello,

this may sound like a silly question, but is it possible for someone who is not Irish, scottish, or British to be contacted by the Fae?

thank you!

Hello there.

This isn't a silly question, but it's one I will have to expound on a bit, as opposed to just giving a yes or no answer. I'll also preface this by saying that my personal beliefs will likely be contentious to some, and I encourage readers to take what they find useful and leave the rest if it conflicts with their own paradigm. Most of this comes from a mixture of personal gnosis and theory, and I am not attempting to assert authority on the subject or claim academic accuracy, so please keep that in mind.

To put it very simply, I believe that the Fae are present in every region of the world, and I have highly syncretic beliefs about the nature of the Fae and other spirits in general. For me, the folkloric specifics come down to cultural lenses and the ways that long-term worship and perception shape the expectations and manifestations of the Gloaming Folk. So, no, I don't think one has to be Gaelic or Brythonic in order to cultivate a relationship with the Fae.

For instance, when looking at the Faerie Faith, many people think primarily—if not only—of the insular Celts. The Fair Folk of the English; the Aos Sidhe of the Irish; the Daoine Sìth of the Scottish; the Sheeaghan of the Manx; the Twlwyth Teg of the Welsh; the Spyrysyon of the Cornish; and the Korrigan of the Breton. But in the larger context of Germanic and Scandinavian folklore, there is copious evidence of entities that are undeniably similar to the Fae as they are understood in the Insular Celtic Isles. In fact, the Germanic word Elf is so closely aligned with the term Faery that many people don't even realize or think about the fact that they derive from different cultures. That being said, the Germanic/Scandinavian "lens" of Faerie Lore is probably the other best known by the wider public.

Likewise, there are multiple beings that show up in Slavic mythology and folklore—such as the Vila, the Rusalke, or the Vodyanoy—which are pretty readily accepted as Faeries. I don't know of an overarching term that would necessarily be equivalent, but the folkloric link is still there.

Now, moving into a more controversial aspect of my beliefs, I also happen to think of Angels, Demons, and Djinn in terms of Gloaming Spirits. While I readily admit that millenia of regionally specific belief and veneration form unique "identies" that Spirits of a given culture may align more closely with, I believe that they are all part of one larger "family" of beings who have been interacting with humanity for many thousands of years. I realize that this will likely be considered an egregious oversimplication for some, or possibly even an erasure of the individuality these cultures possess; but for me, the things that make a tradition sacred and unique are not invalidated or snuffed out by by the fact that other cultures may find recognition in them. So, while I do think beings like Angels, Demons, and Djinn are inexorably interrelated, I also fully accept that they are unique and culturally specific. And frankly, I find it hard to believe that others who have engaged in intensive personal gnosis haven't come across similar threads of paradoxical interconnection.

Beyond these, though, I've also pinpointed other entities over the years that I think represent reasonable approximations of the Fae. These include things like:

The Peris of Persian Mythology (Beautiful aerial spirits sometimes known to work with humans called Peri-Kahn, who gained skills and abilities from the relationship. They are generally described as humanoid figures with beautiful wings, who are known for their michevious behavior, though at least one work references them as divine beings denied entry into paradise until such a times as they have atoned—a folkloric motif some will recognize in connection to certain folk-beliefs regarding the Angels and the Fae.)

The Yakshas of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism (Spirits of nature often connected with water, fertility, plants, treasures, and the wilderness. While some are considered benign or benevolent, others are considered more mischevious or sinister, though most are considered capricious. Sometimes associated with ecological forces, and at other times, with the spirits of the dead. )

The Yōkai of Shintō (A diverse array of spirits—often explicitly equivacated with fairies, demons, and/or sprites—known to interact with humans in both benevolent and malevolent capacities. While many of these spirits are quite singular in their uniqueness, others are more recognizable within a broader archetypal folkloric context—such as the Zashiki-warashi, which are described as diminutive domestic sprites known for both their ability to bestow good fortune, and their tendency to perform mischevious pranks.)

The Korpokkur of Ainu Mythology (A race of little folk, associated with the Butterbur plant, who were said to leave gifts under cover of night—as they did not like being seen. They were believed to be the original inhabitants of Japan before the Ainu—which also echoes aspects of Celtic Faerie Lore.)

The Aziza of Dahomean Mythology (A race of supernatural little folk who are said to live in the Wilds—often beneath Anthills or within silk-cotton trees— and use their magic to help humans, as well as providing people with practical knowledge and spiritual wisdom.)

The Yumboes of Wolof Mythology (Spirits of the dead described as little folk with pearly white skin and silver hair who lived beneath hills and come out to dance beneath the Moonlight. They are known to hold great feasts, which humans are sometimes invited to.)

The Hellenic Nymphs, Sirens, and Kobaloi (As many know, Nymphs are animistic spirits of nature, considered beautiful, and known to interact with humans. Likewise, most will have heard of Sirens as beautiful, seductive, and dangerous spirits of the water who are known to entice and drown men. The Kobaloi, in turn, are described as a mischievous race of small goblin-like folk who are fond of playing tricks on human kind.)

The Basque Iratxoak, Laminak, and Mairuak (An Iraxto is a type of domestic Imp or Goblin known to help with human labors in the night, if properly propitiated. A Lamina, on the other hand, is a Water Maiden described similarly to Sirens or Nereids. They are generally understood to have webbed duck feet and long beautiful hair, which they are fond of combing by the waterside. They are known for both their tendency to offer aid to those who show them respect and propitiation, and their tendency to seduce and ensnare men. Some traditions speak of male giants called Mairuak, who are closely associated with Laminak, and are linked by some with the construction of megalithic structures.)

The Duende of Iberian mythology (A term quite similar to 'Faery' in its usage, which encompasses a diverse array of spiritual entities who are generally said to appear as humanoid, though frequently capable of shapeshifting. They are often associated with nature and are known for their involvement with humans—be it helpful, romantic, michevious, or vicious. They include goblin-esque folk known as Trasgu, Water Maidens known as Xana or Anjana, and supernatural beings called Mouros who take refuge beneath the earth and rarely emerge near sites like barrows. The most common conception of a Duende, however, describes them as a mischevious sort of domestic imp or goblin known for their dealings with the human world. )

The Aztec Chaneque (A sprite-like race of little folk who are associated with Elemental forces and are often conceived as guardians of nature. These beings were once propotiated by the Nàhuatl peoples in exchange for protection from blight, intruders, and evil forces. However, they could also inflict harm, and they were known to sometimes kidnap humans and take them to their home in the Underworld of of Mictlàn to be seduced. On an interesting sidenote, one folk-method of protecting against them when traveling in the forest was for a person to turn their clothing inside out—a charm many will recognize from Celtic Faerie Folklore.)

The Mayan Aluxo'ob (Spirits recognized in the mythological traditions of certain Maya peoples, who are generally associated with particular features of nature. They are described as small and humanoid, and they usually remain invisible, though they can assume physical form for the sake of interacting with humans. Sometimes, wandering Aluxo'ob are said to ask for offerings from farmers or travelers and may respond with wrath if refused. If its conditions are respectfully met, however, it is said that an Alux will provide protection, luck, and aid. In fact, some traditions hold that a farmer can erect a specialized form of Spirit House in order to welcome in an Alux that will aid them for a contracted period of time with tending crops, summoning favorable weather, and guarding property. What's more, there exist naming taboos that reflect themes of Celtic Faerie Lore.)

The Guarani Pombero (A spirit particularly important in Paraguay, though it appears in multiple mythological traditions from the surrounding area. The Pombero is generally conceived as a small hairy man who lives in forested areas and abandoned sites, and is known to cause mischief for humans. It is said that the Pombero can become invisible, change shape, and perfectly mimick the sounds of the wild. Usually, he is considered harmless, if mischevious—known for antics like food theft, the loosing of cattle, and the scattering of household objects. Though, he is also known also known to occasionally abduct and/or impregnate women, resulting in the births of hairy children. The Pombero is capable of being appeased, however, through offerings such as cigars, liquor, and honey. It is even said that, if these propitiations are observed consistently for long enough, the Pombero will take a liking to a person or persons and provide protection for their home and posessions, as well as leaving gifts of their own in return.)

The Tupi-Guarani Curupira (A spirit described in the folklore of Paraguay, Amazonia, Brasil, and Argentina as a little man with bright red hair and feet turned backwards, which it uses to obfuscate the trajectory of its footprints. They are said to live in the wild, and will prey on hunters who take more than they need, or who harm animals while they care for their Offspring. They are also said to ocassionally abduct and/or impregnate women, resulting in strange or unexplained births.)

The Iroquois Jogah (A race of magical little folk spoken of in Iroquois lore. They are said to be largely invisible, and an array of phenomena are associated with them, such as mysterious drumming noises, rings of bare earth, disembodied lights, and "bowls" found in stones. Offerings such as tobacco and fingernail parings could be left within these stone bowls, as propitiation to the Jogah. They are fond of mischief and games, though they can also be dangerous if disrespected. It is said, for example, that they will cause illness in homes constructed upon sites that they favor. The Jogah are also known for the variety of sub-groups into which they can be divided, generally associated with particular aspects or features of the natural world.)

& the Māori Patupaiarehe (Beings described in Māori mythology as a pale folk with red or golden hair. They are said to live in the mountains, hills, and deep forests in communities unseen by human eyes. They are known to influence the mist and clouds, to play music sweeter than that of any human hand, and were said to sometimes act with hostility towards humans who encroach or intrude upon their land. Despite this, however, most traditions state that Māori are able to converse with them at times.)

These are only a selection of traditional beliefs, though there are many more I won't attempt to list, and who knows how many more I've never heard. These are merely ones that have particularly caught my notice over time, and which seemed worth mentioning here. However, I am far from an anthropological expert, and I encourage others to ammend, contextualize, and add onto this information as they see fit—especially if they come from a culture I reference here. My goal is not to imply that all of these traditions are somehow directly connected to the Anglo-Celtic traditions, or that Anglo-Celtic mythology should be the cornerstone by which all folklore is considered; it's just the cultural background I have the most personal connection to/understanding of, and so I aim to speak mainly from a place of my own experience (though, I am actually half Paraguayan as well.)

So, in conclusion, while I do think that one's own cultural and regional context generally plays an important role in how one is likely to encounter the Gloaming Folk, I believe that people from virtually every culture have the capacity for working with them. I think that, when attempting to approach the Fae, it's a good idea for one to come at it from the perspective of their own heritage and regional lore, but at the same time, one can't always help the way spirits end up cultivating relationships with them (and, honestly, I think it is better for one to wait for the Fae to approach them whenever possible.)

[lunarleonardo]

Do you know about that tier list website? I would absolutely love to see a visualization of your favorite tags to read or write about on A03, and/or your rankings of Danganronpa characters. ^^

you're asking me to share my OPINIONS on the INTERNET?

I left out anime-only characters (Ryota excluded) because it's been a hot minute since i've watched it. Some of these may or may not be controversial, I dunno. Tiktok has ruined me as a fandom enjoyer (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠) still healing

If you like any of the characters I dislike, that's fine! I just didn't like them very much as I was playing the games ^^" Toko was a hard one to rank cus.. it's toko .... but I liked her a LOT better in UDG than in DR1. Chapter 3 of UDG especially made me looove Genocide Syo. girl why are you blowing everything up girl STOP!! THE PROPERTY DAMAGE

As for the ao3 tags list, I couldn't really find a good one for tags. So I just did one for tropes :P I've left out any that revolve around smut (since I don't read that) and things that I don't know about. I mostly read drv3 fics nowadays, but I used to stalk that Sans (Undertale) and Leonardo Hamato tag daily. speaking of which shuichi saihara whump writers where are yall at

Hurt/Comfort, Angst With A Happy Ending, Torture Recovery/Torture Aftermath are some of my favorite tags and things to write. In case that wasnt obvious xD

some fic types I also really enjoy are LAB AUS!! Superhuman stuff, specifically mermaids and vampires. I also reeeally like dragon AUs and stuff so maybe I'll just go entirely off the deep end and turn my favs into a dragon. I dunno. Also, Pokémon trainer AUs are fun when done right!! I have Crossovers filtered out because there's a lot of fandoms Im not into, but Pokémon AUs are so sick. Superpowers too!!! GODDD superpowers. Im so normal over them

A few other specific tropes I like are kidnapping, force feeding, psychological mindfuckery type shit, HUMILIATION especially I love humiliation. You know what how about I just rank whump tropes here we go

I am a HUGE whump fan. Massive whump fan. Angst With A Happy Ending has carried me through this lifetime from the minute I opened Warrior Cats: Forest Territory on roblox for the first time. I kidnapped way too many kids on there (⁠个⁠_⁠个⁠) rogue groups were my THING I loved being evil and twisted. I miss that game man people were so much fun then. I wouldnt have the confidence to roleplay on a Roblox game nowadays even if I tried (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) it went from that to me googling "steven universe kidnapped fanfiction". and then i discovered ao3 and now look where we are

Anyway these rankings can change at any point as I grow and change as a person. What I dislike today I might like in a few months. So who knows :p

[octahyde]

🏳️‍🌈 riddle, vil, epel, and idia? :3c

thank you for the gaggle of transgender people

Riddle: gay trans guy. I respect fem/transfem Riddle stuff but honestly to me personally it (ironically considering the next one) goes against his character. His entire life and childhood he’s had femininity forced on him (note the half dress from his overblot especially) and him being a trans guy and desperately trying to break out of it just makes sense. Being gay also goes into this to a degree as well but also just look at this kid and tell me he isn’t a little gayboy.

Vil: Transhet woman. I know this one is really really REALLY controversial but… her entire story feels like a trans narrative to me. Especially as a GNC trans guy (the only “acceptable” trans hc for her in the fandom), I see a lot of my gender envy towards feminine cis men in her treatment of Epel and Neige- Neige being amab and that soft and feminine without even trying, and Epel being feminine naturally and wanting to “throw it away”, so to speak. Especially when she tries so hard to be soft and feminine and it’s never “good” enough. As for transhet I just can’t see her with girls tbh. (Also I know transfem drag queens who have gotten into the series and took one look at Vil and said she’s a trans woman just saying.)

Epel: come on we all know this kid is a trans gayboy. Idk if this specifically is a hot take but from his second year onward I REALLY want him out of pome and into savanaclaw. I’m glad he’s made peace with his appearance for the time being but everything about it is. Insane repression to me and honestly makes me uncomfortable, again as a GNC trans guy myself. Once he realizes how legitimately traumatic his first year is I can’t see him forgiving Vil or Rook for an EXTREMELY long time, if ever. Lately I’ve also been kind of interested in exploring transfem Epel too… not because he’s soft and dainty and forced into feminine roles (I think I just established how extremely uncomfortable I am with that LMAO)… but because Epel has grown up around so many strong women, and I think him idolizing them and wanting to be a strong, masculine woman specifically himself is interesting. A naturally GNC boy desiring to become a GNC woman is really interesting to me and says a lot of very profound things about gender. I also think it gives a unique spin on his relationship with Vil- he knows things aren’t limited to just men and women, and he feels stifled specifically because he wants to be a woman who does things usually expected for men. I’m still 100% masc gay guy Epel, but I think it’s some REALLY interesting food for thought about gender and what is and isn’t expected of gender roles and how that affects trans people.

Idia: Beautiful Transhet Woman, My Beautiful Wife. I really don’t know how to explain this one except she is literally a coding gaming tgirl to a T. It literally unintentionally feels like they gathered a bunch of nerdy tgirls into a room and had them workshop the most stereotypical boymoder they could LMAO. Everything about her is So Transfeminine. She very much has a jrpg loving trans woman who was Very interested in TTYD Vivian as a child energy. Especially since I joined a discord server for a queer TTYD streamer recently AKFKSKFK My bg on desktop is what it is for a reason. As for why I say transhet… well she’s a major factor in how I realized I’m a st4t transhet man. She also radiates gayboy obsessed with yaoi to fujoshi pipeline which is very much a thing AKDJSFJDN I think her being bi with a pref for guys is really cute also though. Give her a few years and online she is going to be VERY popular with the (t)ladies.

[melancholic-pigeon]

During my class, we talked about the difference between like, Catholic guilt versus the kind of atonement that's associated with Yom Kippur. The phrasing that was used was "course correction", which my moral OCD really found helpful. It's not "you're a terrible person who must suffer in repentance", it's "Who do I want to be? Where did I stray in being that person over the last year? How can I correct my course so that I am closer to the person I want to be next year?"

I talked to my therapist about certain things that recently happened that I won't devote any more air time to specifics on unless I'm forced by someone else's actions. And I've been thinking about it and turning it over in my head, because it still has me pretty shaken!

But basically, I got a very clear, very vivid image of the kind of person who says "Kindness is so important, unless I'm the one being unkind, then it's okay". I found a pattern of unkindness and justifications afterwards for said unkindness. I realized the path I've been going down this past year leads to a destination I find revulsive.

I don't want to be mean. I don't want to let my anger eat through my load bearing walls. I don't want to be the kind of person who snaps in anger, who defends others snapping in anger, who spends her time justifying her outbursts of poor emotional regulation and who blames everyone but myself for my own big feelings.

I've been down this path before, and it's something I'm ashamed of. I don't like being full of rage, but it's way too easy for me to get swept up in someone else's excuses for why their own uncontrolled rage isn't destructive and totally won't ruin all their relationships or give them a reputation for being a combative hair-trigger who will scream at people over innocuous things or miscommunications and then scream at them more for tone policing when told screaming at people for misunderstandings is rude.

I don't want to be fueled by anger. I don't want to be bitter and mean and judgmental and suspicious. I don't want to turn into the kind of person who spends their day arguing on tumblr dot com about how actually I am special enough to be trusted with the death note because I am a Good Person who would only use it on evil people. I don't want to be the kind of person who lashes out every time I misunderstand someone and then punishes them for clearing up the misinterpretation because it made me look bad.

I don't want to be a bully. I don't want to enable bullies. I don't want to defend bullying. And I want to get better at actually listening to the voice in my head (maybe the voice of HaShem) telling me "Hey, you know better than this, you know this is wrong, why are you letting a charismatic bully sway your actions and pull you along to defend them?"

So, yeah. This year I'm working on improving my de-escalation skills and getting a much tighter rein on my anger. Rage is like fire: it's a great source of energy, but it will also destroy you completely and turn everything you love into ash if you don't keep. it. controlled.

I want to reaffirm that it's not okay to blow up at people because you're having a bad day. That if I've done this to you, I'm really, deeply fucking sorry, and I use that in the New England Intensifier way. I fucked up a number of times over this past year, I'm not okay with it, I don't WANT to be okay with it, and I'm just...sick of being angry. I'm sick of watching people hurt each other. I'm sick of being complicit. I'm sick of holding the idea that "being mean is not praxis" is a controversial viewpoint that should be kept away from activism rather than a preschool level ground rule for how not to actively make your community worse and more hostile.

I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to be in this place anymore. It's dangerous to all of us when we lean into the idea that our anger is paramount and angry responses are always justified.

I just....if your behavior towards other activists on your side is to treat them like you're the mustachioed villainous husband in a lifetime movie about an abused soccer mom and then criticize others for telling you that's shitty, that's a bad thing! But I've historically been way too easy to shame into accepting this premise, and it doesn't matter why I ended up there. What matters is that I did, in fact, enable this behavior from people, excuse this behavior from people, and defend proponents of this behavior. And I hate that I did it, but I did.

Frankly, it makes me ill to think about. But it makes me more ill to think about not even trying to do better.

This year, I'm trying to do better.

Fast easy if you're fasting, everyone ✡️

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

i would like to be in and foster an online environment in which discussions abt controversial topics can be handled civilly without ppl ganging up and sending an influx of anon hate. i think internet in general is a space where ppl love to be outraged and i want to challenge that. that's partially why i wrote this fic. i am tired of purity culture and of fandom/online hivemind. in a fandom where a lot of ppl clearly enjoy age gap ships, i say, what makes one better and more "morally correct" than another? what makes a sugar mommy au better than a college student x teacher fic? so many fics featuring dark themes are popular in this fandom (don't wanna name any names bc i don't wanna get anyone involved), but THIS is the one ppl are upset about?

i wanna ask a question -- is it possible to write a fic where ppl are NOT morally pure but still somehow manage to live and find happiness? why is it forbidden to explore those themes in fiction? when you look at ppl in real life and how weirdly their lives shape up, and how ppl are flawed and make mistakes and live unconventionally or sometimes immorally or unhealthily, doesn't that interest you? in a sense that you would like to read about it? explore what goes on in the minds of these ppl/characters?

ppl forget exploring a theme in fiction doesn't equate to condoning it in real life. each individual has to use their own best judgement when consuming a piece of fiction. i assume everyone reading my fic is an adult (as i write fics intended for adult audiences) and can form their own opinion.

i would like it if people could use their reading comprehension and critical thinking skills when reading my fiction, without me having to put up exact and specific 1826372929392 word disclaimers, so ppl's fragile feelings wouldn't get hurt. would it really be okay if i wrote in all caps before the story WEDNESDAY IS 22? you could have read the first paragraph and figured that out. i tagged it as teacher-student bc it's playing with the concept, even if they are not a student/teacher in the timeline of the story. i use implied underage sex as a tag bc in the 2nd chapter, and repeatedly throughout the story i reference larissa and morticia's relationship, that has occurred when they were underage. i mention that they engaged in sex. it is only mentioned, and not explicitly described. do you need me to write all of that out under the title in order not to send anon hate and clutch your pearls in disgust? or can you just read the story and decide if it's for you or not?

i implore you to read all of my works as a story, without attaching a moral judgement to characters' actions. if and when you do attach a moral judgement and form an opinion, pls remember those are fictional characters, and i am an author exploring certain themes bc i can and it interests me to do so. i want to write unconventional stories, controversial stories, romantic stories, funny stories, horror stories, i want to explore everything. everybody who reads is invited to look at them as a piece of fiction they can enjoy or not enjoy, and nothing more. i hope to take you on a journey that leaves you with something to remember, good or bad, but impactful.

from now on, i will probably write longer works and venture into darker themes (next thing i'm planning is murder mystery/thriller). there will still be fluffy pieces, but i just want to push myself out of my comfort zone. i would like to associate with fandom ppl who are open-minded and can read a piece of fiction without going ballistic. if you look at things black and white, you likely won't like my fiction -- and that's okay.

however, if for any reason you want to send me hate, you will absolutely be blocked. i am a person, and i do not deserve insults and rudeness in my inbox. it's easy to feel empowered and feel like you're fighting for A Cause (TM) and attach the Bad Guy etiquette to a single person. that can feel like you're solving something. esp when ppl accuse me of promoting actual p3dophilia -- that's a cause everyone can get behind. banish the evil p3do apologist!

i am a victim of child sexual abuse, that went on all throughout my formative years, and into my adult age, simply because i thought that's how it must be. that experience has scarred me beyond belief. i don't want to share the details. it's not smth i'm sharing for pity points, nor do i need anyone's sympathy. however, it is an experience that has shaped who i am, and perhaps for that reason, combined with other things, is why i'm drawn to certain themes in fiction. i don't owe anybody an explanation as to why i choose certain topics, but since there have been idiots in my inbox who have accused me of harming victims of minor sexual abuse, i feel compelled to say something. fuck you for using a group of suffering ppl to support your own flimsy arguments born out of puritanism and inability to cope with heavy themes in fiction.

you are absolutely welcome to CIVILLY discuss your opinions about the fic with me -- off anon, exclusively. but i know nobody will, bc this isn't about the actual contents of my fic, this is about the delicious morally righteous thrill of a witch hunt.

enjoy the fic. i will post next wednesday.

[bellzsad]

No wait, elaborate on the dob being problematic post please. I feel so uneducated lol 💜

okay so first of all let me preface by saying: i LOVE dylan obrien. like, you see all these interviews where he's acting like the dream romcom love interest, and his connection with his castmates, and his personality. like it think that's a quality of his that we should praise. i also want to say that i am SO scared to post this ?? toxic girl fans are scary asf. but i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while, because like, yes, he is one of my fav actors but you can't say that you love him and not acknowledge some of the questionable things that have happened. ALSO let me say; i'm not saying that he should get cancelled. i'm not saying that he should face consequences, i just want to bring light to all of this because i think it's wrong to just overlook these things and act like nothing happened ?

okay so first: the twitter post. basically what happened was that when the overturn of roe v. wade and everything was going on, dylan tweeted "fuck your bible". this upset a lot of people, rightfully so !! he said it in the context that abortion should NOT be banned, as people were using the bible as an excuse FOR it to be banned. i respect that, HOWEVER - you can't just say that, i feel ? i don't know, i'm not religious so please don't take my word on this, i don't speak for the people, but just in general, like... that's someone's beliefs and religion. i think there was a better way to go about sharing his opinion. like, don't put down other people's beliefs because of your own? the message just comes across wrong and i know the intent was not malicious, but it's seriously something that makes me raise my eyebrow.

then we have rachael lange, who is dylan's current girlfriend. they started dating early 2023, i believe. for some background info, i guess, she's a model based in nyc.

so this is the main point of this post, because this is what honestly makes me the most upset, i guess ? so when people found out that they were together, obviously as people do, they did some digging. TURNS OUT rachael had some twitter posts, actually not some, but MANY racist tweets from her past. she said the n word, she joked about having pictures of children on her phone or smth (also hate tweets calling taylor swift a whore, which i'll get to later !!) - idk, you can look it up, i'm not going to get into the specifics on here. point is that it was terrible. she was at least 15 at the time here. the tweets span from like 2013 to 2015, but the taylor ones were in 2017. which like… you know not to say those things when you’re 15 ?? not to mention when you’re 16 and 17 and 18 or whatever. so age is NOT an excuse here.

HERE'S MY TAKE: and before you guys go "omg, bel, are you excusing racism? are you saying it's okay?" i am NOT saying that. do not put words in my mouth! whenever i look at controversies and things, i try to look at it from all angles. i try to understand every side. i try to step in everyone's shoes. so here's my thing:

dylan probably didn't know about the tweets before getting with rachael. do i think that after the tweets came out something should've happened? yes. however, if you spend time falling in love with someone, just to find out that they did something in their past - it's hard to just stop your feelings like that, understandably. i'm sure rachael now is, hopefully, not like that. i hope she's better. also, if you always focus on the past, you can't move on, so i can understand why dylan is still together with her, BUT:

he didn't even acknowledge the tweets? he's always been very open about his opinions and beliefs, and how people shouldn't be treated like that and yada yada so it's a bit hypocritical of him to just... not say anything. not address it. and CONTINUE to date her. the image he puts out is so positive, yet this is making it pretty negative, so...?

but anyway, we can't do anything about it. i just think that the whole situation is problematic asf, like yeah it's not dylan's fault for his girlfriend being an ass in the past, but this with everything else just feels a bit weird ngl.

OKAY i'm moving on now, the rachael thing is just sm, if you want me to elaborate please lmk because yeah

so the last thing is a SOMEWHAT a rumor. i want to make that clear. it's a rumor, HOWEVER there's a lot stacked up against it, so make of that what you will.

taylor swift hired dylan obrien to star in the all too well film alongside sadie sink a few years back. that was fine, dylan and taylor were then connected and that became a fun friendship that people were fans of! they were clearly on good terms. THEN he starts dating rachael, and it's like... what? because this man has not been to a single eras tour concert. but whatever, right? it is what it is.

but there's also gracie abrams, who is basically like taylor's little sister now. they have a song together, which is rumored to be about dylan obrien, because dylan and gracie were spotted together (prior to rachael and dylan becoming a thing) once. ONCE. dylan has been spotted with a bunch of girls before, such as sabrina carpenter, chloe grace moretz, etc., which obv sparked dating rumors but like whatever ?? however this just gets complicated because gracie is related to taylor, and if gracie's new song "cool" is about dylan (rumored), then things are a bit messy.

AGAIN, just a rumor. so this honestly to me isn't that problematic, but something definitely happened between taylor and dylan (most likely rachael + her tweets) to split them up, so it's not THAT innocent. but at the end of the day i don't really care about this taylor gracie stuff compared to the other two because it's a rumor and honestly just seems like a relationship that didn't work out. still worth mentioning tho.

THAT'S IT holy shit so scared to post this. again if u want me to elaborate LMK because i swear i'm not an asshole! i am just trying to view things from all angles and all perspectives and want to give ppl the benefit of the doubt (unfortunately i always see the good in people)

[anhed-nia]

PS I almost saw IN A VIOLENT NATURE for the first time at an open air screening on Governor's Island, a popular NYC destination for outdoor entertainment and close-to-home glamping. I thought that was a great idea, but ultimately I skipped it because I wanted to see the film for the first time without the light pollution and ambient noise. They made this cool graphic for it, though...which immediately triggered comments section controversy about AI.

The social media person replied that the image was not AI-generated; though the "scene" does not take place in the movie, it is a photograph of a person wearing the screen costume, just doing something fun on Governor's Island to advertise their cool event. No matter what your general feelings are about AI in commercial art, we can probably all agree that it sucks that we have to have these onerous arguments about everything now.

For me, and I think for anyone who enjoys visual art, the medium matters--not because of some imaginary hierarchy of importance, but because different media have different effects, traditions, and implications. And because, with respect to AI, the statement "This really happened!" and the question "Wouldn't it be cool IF this really happened?" inspire very different responses. My personal, casual feeling is that AI art is OK as long as it is easily identifiable as such; like I've seen some really fun AI images whose particular kind of outrageousness makes appropriate use of that specific medium. I'm a "right tool, right job" person, I think some things should be paintings and some things should be photos, some things should be stage plays and some things should be movies. You should carefully choose your medium and exploit the unique qualities of that medium based on exactly what you're trying to accomplish. For this reason I think that AI images that are just trying to fake the effects of i.e. painting or photography kind of suck. And related to that I object to living in a world where we all just have to throw up our hands and say "Oh well, there's no way to know anymore whether something is physically-real or whether it's just a hypothetical representation of something that maybe-could-be real, I guess the only thing we can do is not give a shit about where anything comes from or how it got here and what that all means." For me, "There's no way to ever know anything for sure so who fucking cares" is not an acceptable default setting. (And I realize this is becoming the central issue of our day due to all kinds internet-enabled misinformation and I'm treading on the hem of a way bigger topic here, but never mind all that now...)

But still, I find myself just as annoyed with fakery as I am with people who instantly declare something to be fake. Frankly I think those guys are just scared of being fooled and so they're trying to preserve their own sense of superiority by declaring everything to be fake before they have any evidence one way or the other. This is a very different thing in its consequences, I know, but some of these guys sound just like the bigots who go around trying to clock random strangers as trans; they always have these ridiculous lists of "evidence" that turn out to be just as applicable to afab and amab people as they are to people who have transitioned. It's all roughly the same flavor of defensiveness from people who are scared of being tricked into believing or feeling something that will turn out to be a fraud. And I can sympathize with that to some degree, I don't wanna be tricked into believing in, for instance, awesome-looking photo shoots that never happened; like if you said it wouldn't matter to you if the photos Thierry Mugler shot on top of the Chrysler Building turned out to be digital fakes, then I would happily call you a liar. But what I really hate more than anything right now is this immediate effect where as soon as anything cool-looking appears online, we all have to have these contentious arguments where insecure jerks pound their chests about how un-foolable they are...and sometimes it turns out that the "AI art" is real and so their claims to amazing powers of perception are a big embarrassment. I guess my conclusion is that if everyone agreed to make AI imagery clearly identifiable in some way, then we could all stop having our good time spoiled by this paranoid bickering that has become the prerequisite for enjoying anything. But that's probably an impossible dream.