#its ok it gives more angst and heartbreak cant wait to see that ending and cry

[takethebodymarc]

bad being part of the ppl that consider the eggs dead

its hard out here for us that think the opposite stay strong guys

[libraryofmegharoni]

The Traitor Queen (The Bridge Kingdom | #2) [Danielle L. Jensen]

started: May 08, 2021 finished: May 08, 2021 rating: 4.5/5

review:

so we got the utter heart break of Aren finding out about Lara's betrayal in the first book and we get the impact of it here.

i'll start from the beginning, which is where i partially have issue with. the book begins with Lara having fled Ithicana and Aren captured by Lara's father and in his compound in Maridrina. we get a brief kind of recount of what happened in the world between The Bridge Kingdom and The Traitor Queen, but just like how i was still kinda confused about how the world was set up in the first book, i was still a little confused about all the events that happened between the books. to be fair Jensen does a solid job of making me forget that i was confused in the first place. the couple time characters either reflected on the 'past' or were informed about the events that happened after Lara left Ithicana (or Maridrina at very beginning) it wasn’t the clearest explanations?? not the best way to phrase it but idk how else. like the writing was fine and understandable but i didn’t feel like there was enough explanation of the events between books to make me fully understand what happened. that's not to say there was nothing to fill in what happened, maybe im just (which is highly likely) because i just wanted more. ahh ok so i think the best way i can describe it is that there was a surface level explanation of the events that supposedly occurred between the first and second book but not anything more in depth in detail. which considering im a very detail person, i want to know everything there can be known, i want everyone's full history and actions and rationales and intentions and everything else about all the main characters. and i don’t think that it’s actually a fault of Jensen in this or the first book but it’s just what i ideally want out of a perfect book.

anyway other than me being a picky bitch and just wanting more when i like a book, broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s so good.

i mcfucking loved the tension between Lara and Aren after she organizes his rescue. but before that --

THE REST OF THE SISTERS.

one of the first things i said to my roommate when i was reading the first book was "i cannot wait until all the sisters come back and completely fuck up their father" anD GUESS WHAT??!?!?!?!

THEY FUCKING DELIVERED SO GODDAMN HARD

it was perfect that there was one sister who was super against what Lara did and came to Ithicana to murder the King and Queen (but ultimately failed and was killed by our Queen Lara). the rest of them living in small groups but never too far apart from each other - perfection, just perfection. them being 100% down to infiltrate their father's compound - beautiful. them willing to rescue the man they were all trained to hate and want to kill because Lara loved him??????? THE LOVE BETWEEN THE SISTERS - THE SHARED PAIN - THE RIDE OR DIE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT THEY ALL (minus the one Lara kills lol) FUCKING ARE -- I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I WAS SO HAPPY IT PLAYED OUT PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO

i loved Lara sailing to Ithicana's island of Eranahl to talk to Ahnna about freeing Aren and her actually sailing there all by herself proved how dedicated she was to saving him. i just loved how the first book drives home just how terrified Lara is of the open sea and how it is the only thing that scares her and the only time she sails be herself in the second book (bc we know she fled from Ithicana by island jumping) is to save Aren.... and Ithicana but mostly Aren. its shown time and time again how much Lara came to love Aren and how much she was willing to risk or give up just to save him. TEH FUCKING ANGST      I LOVE IT  !!!!!!!

so yeah i just really love the dynamic between Lara and Aren in this book. they both know that they cannot continue to be together after Ithicana is free but they desperately want to. they've grown to love each other and despite Lara's betrayal, they both trust each other. but like for his country, Aren cannot recognize Lara as the Queen of Ithicana or his wife anymore. bro that scene broke me. it came right after Lara tried to leave Aren and he was essentially like "no it’s not safe here for you to go now, im keeping you with me". so yeah Aren having to admit that he doesn't recognize Lara as anything anymore HURT. and i loved how Lara was also hurt by that. they love each other so much but their situation and the world want to rip them apart :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

the final battle was confusing and seemed a bit fast but ultimately so satisfying. i guess it kinda started with the battle on Gamire Island when Lara got injured saving the life of Taryn, Aren's cousin she has befriended in the first book when she was Queen. also Lara saving her was just big proof to the rest of the Ithicana that she was there to fight to right her wrong and get their freedom back.

anyway so Lara gets injured and it was so sad to see how she knew she was seriously wounded but didn't believe that she was allowed to ask for help from the people whose lives she helped destroy and ended up going off on her own. it was so heartbreaking when Aren went to go patch up Lara and end up caving into sleeping with each other. he promised her that they were leaving in the morning and that she could rest then he went back to camp and realized that he could never leave her if he didnt in that moment and told them to get ready to leave - i started crying so much. bc when Lara woke up to everyone gone she thought that that was the plan the whole time and that Aren lied to her to leave her and then she was hit with the fact that it was Eranahl that was being attacked, and put away all her heartbreak and was determined to sail there to help against the Maridrina navy.

how she realized that it was her father on one of the ships and dueled him - so god damn hot. her swimming through the shark infested water to get to Aren????? ughhhhhh im crying. her up against the portcullis telling Aren to leave so he would live??? im crying even more. Aren desperately trying to save her bc he knows he cant live without her???????????? im bawling. her waking up in the bed she's familiar with?? im hopeful. Aren telling her about the trial by sea (and sharks) method used in Ithicana and how she passed so the sea has determined Lara is innocent and loyal to Ithicana????? IM BAWLING AGAIN  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mcfucking knew that it had to end with Lara and Aren ending up together but i didnt know how it was going to happen. and while i wish the trial by shark thing was mentioned in the first book -- like the game they play at snake island with the running through the snakes and climbing up to the bridge and how that was called back to in the second book where Lara had to do the challenge to help free Ithicana. like that little game was a significant scene in the first book with Lara kind revealing her abilities with a bow and arrow and a little bit of Aren's recklessness, want to show off to Lara and how he was as a child. point it is served a purpose and it was a great scene and situation to call back to in the second book, but with more at stake this time. so i would have liked to see someone in Ithicana just mention the trial by sea idea in the first book. i mean when it was revealed i still teared up bc like yeah but i think it could have been a cool thing that was not quite foreshadowed but referenced at an earlier point.

tl;dr - the love between the sisters? perfection. the love between Lara & Aren? heartbreakingly beautiful and such a satisfying arc <3

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[stripper-patrick]

Birth👣 Thor

Back Home 🌑, I’m pregnant 🥀, Cravings 🍱, Hormones 🎭, Baby shower 🧸, Birth👣

Warnings: language, fluff, angst

Relationship: Thor x black plus sized reader

I’m at the mall with Okoye doing some last minute baby shopping. “So Y/N are you excited?”

“I’m nervous” I say rubbing my stomach “I know this one will have a good home to go to”

“I can’t believe your giving Bean up”

“He or she can’t grow up in the home me and Thor will provide. He hasn’t talked to me since I told you all including him”

“He feels like you left him out on the option” I pick up a brown fuzzy footie type thing with little ears and a little tail on the butt. I grab the right size and take it with me.

“It’s not like I don’t want Bean this was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make but when you have a situation like me and Thor that’s a recipe for heartbreak and disaster. since the baby shower we’ve been arguing like hell. I honestly think this is it”

“Y/N don’t say that”

“I mean who knows he might go back to Jane” I feel a small cramp in my stomach. Maybe that’s from standing so long. I pay for the footies and we leave.

...

I’m back at the compound and I’m still getting those cramps. I should take it easy and rest.

I sit on the couch and turn on the tv flipping through movies. I get frustrated not finding anything and turn it off. I go upstairs to my room and take a shower. I really don’t feel like putting on clothes so I grab some underwear and a a t-shirt before I lay down in the bed falling asleep.

....

I wake back up at 12 feeling the cramps coming on stronger. Like really strong. I try to stand up but I have to crouch down. Finally once it’s over I go to the bathroom. I pee for a little bit but it’s just keeps coming until a big splash drops in the toilet. I look down to see a little more pee than usual. “Son of a bitch” I get up and flush the toilet and go back to the bed. Another cramp hits harder than the first and I scream into the bed.

“Ok I’m ok” I breathe through my nose and out my mouth until another contraction hits. My back is killing me. I really don’t wanna wake anyone up but at this point something’s gotta give. I grab my robe and wrap it around my body.

I take 2 steps and feel another contraction. Tears form in my eyes during it and I crouch down again. Finally it’s over and I stand up as quickly as I can and walk to the door. I open the door and place my hand on the walls supporting myself. I continue breathing through my nose and out my mouth.

Maybe tea should help calm it down. It always helps me why should this be any different. I pour water into the tea kettle and set it on the stove before feeling another contraction. I place the tea bag into a mug and wait for it warm up. During that time I rock my hips and breathe in and out getting through another one.

Tears spill from my eyes and the kettle screams. I stand up and pour the water in there adding sugar. I take a sip feeling the warm liquid flow through my chest.

I put my head down feeling a strong one come on.

“Y/N?” I hear the voice of Bucky come into the kitchen. I keep my head down too in pain to give a response.

“Y/N what’s wrong” I feel him come near me and I grab his hand squeezing it slightly.

“Are you ok?” He moves my hair out the way.

“My water broke about 15 minutes ago” I say lifting my head. His man bun kills me every time.

“Oh shit why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t wanna wake anyone but it hurts so bad” he freaks out “I’m gonna get everyone” he runs and shouts through the compound waking everyone up. I walk over to a chair when the hardest one yet strikes and I yell out bending over. I rock myself feeling like pain is never ending.

“Holy shit. We need to go to the hospital” This time it’s Peter. He comes over but looks super scared to touch me.

I shake my head and point to my back. He tried to rub it but his tiny fingers aren’t doing anything for me.

I feel large hands being replaced and the good smell of teakwood cloud my nostrils. It’s Thor.

“Bruce your a doctor do you know how to do this?” Thor asks. I stand up straight and stretch my back before I sit down.

“Thor I’m a scientist not everyone who carries the title Dr. is a doctor” he says

“I know how to” Okoye says.

“You do?” I ask. She nods. She grabs a latex glove pulling it on.

“I was an intern in Wakanda when I wasn’t serving my king. Now do you feel any contractions right now?” I shake my head no.

“Ok open your legs and stop me if one comes” I do as told and Thor’s eyes go wide as he watches her stick 2 fingers up my vagina.

I writhe in my seat and push her hand away screaming when another contraction comes. This pain is terrible. I grab Thor’s hand.

“What did you do? She’s dying?” He gets riled up but knows better than to let go of my hand.

“No Thor her cervix is opening up to prepare for the baby’s head. She’s about 3cm dilated”

“Just breathe your ok” Thor crouches down demonstrating breathing. I grab his shoulder copying his breathing. The pain dies down and I throw my head back.

“I think now should be a good time to talk about our differences before Bean comes in this world” I say

“I think we should too” he pulls up a chair in front of me and sits. “I don’t approve of giving Bean up for adoption. You didn’t let me know and I damn sure wouldn’t have consented to giving up our child”

“Thor do you see the relationship we have? It’s damaged, it’s ruined. We’ve been going at each other’s throat since last month when I announced it. I know you’ve gone back to Jane and that’s fine I don’t care but someone like her will never be around Bean so I did our child a favor and gave him a better life”

“I don’t approve”

“Well I’m sorry you don’t. I don’t want to either but it’s what’s best” he huffs and stands up. He goes to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water. He sits back in front of me, his legs wide open, handing to me. I take the water and groan pulling my arms in front of my face and leaning down on his legs.

“Y/N remember what I told you just breathe” I stretch out my arm and feel a small hand grab it and rub my shoulder. Finally after the contraction and look up and see Peter. His skin is pale and he looks truly mortified.

“I’m ok Peter” I look to Thor and take a sip of my water.

“One of y’all do me a favor and grab my phone” Natasha runs and grabs it handing it to me. I dial the adoptive parents number.

“Tony is it ok if they come here?” He nods. He looks half dead “go to bed I’ll scream when the baby comes”

“Nope were right here with you” he says rubbing his eyes.

“Hello” I answer

“Is it the baby?” Amelia says with excitement.

“Yes come to Stark Towers” I say

“On our way”

I hang up and can feel Bean kicking.

When the adoptive parents, Amelia and Caden come in I smile at them.

“Who are they?”

“We’re the adoptive parents. You must be Thor” Caden holds his hand out to shake Thor’s but of course he wants to be a dick

“Mhmm” he mumbles “well I guess you don’t need my help since they’re here right?”

“Jesus Thor will you take your dick out of your ass for 2 seconds and see that your girlfriend is about to have your baby?” Bruce yells “she needs you just like she needs the rest of us. And I mean that in the most respectful way I’m not saying women need anyone they run the world-“

“Bruce I swear I’m gonna kick you in your chest if you don’t shut up”

“Yes ma’am”

....

Hours. It’s been hours. The sun is shining bright it’s about 9am and Okoye says I’m about 7cm. I’ve never felt anything like this in my life. I’ve tried a warm bath and laying in bed even laying over the kitchen sink and nothings working.

“I’m so exhausted” I cry. Thor kisses my head as he sits beside me.

“Please don’t cry” he says. I look at him to see tears falling down his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t like seeing you like this. Okoye if you don’t do something I will” he yells

“There’s nothing to do but wait” she yell back. They go back in forth until I scream writhing in pain from another contraction.

“I need to push” I say. Everyone’s eyes dilated and Okoye checks me again.

“She’s Ready. Get her to the bed” Thor picks me up out of nowhere and lays me on the bed. Everyone follows and Amelia and Caden are by my side. Caden holds my hand but Thor gives him a death glare that makes him move to the side. He tries to hold my leg and Thor nearly kills him since he can see EVERYTHING.

“Wait I cant do this” I say. Okoye looks down there. All of a sudden she hits the floor.

“Shit” I say. Bruce steps in and takes over while Natasha puts Okoye in the living room.

Thor makes me look at him “what did you tell me when my father died?”

“Everything would be ok” I say

“Exactly I won’t let anything happen to you Y/N you know that now push out little Bean” I nod mustering up all my courage and strength. I bare down curling my toes when I feel that terrible feeling of your body ripping in half.

I let go and take a breath.

“Come on Y/N. Bean already has a lot of hair” Caden comes down and Thor’s voice booms throughout the room. Next they’re the ones to get into.

“Jesus take the wheel I will shove both you out of here in a second” I bare down again this time squeezing Thor’s hand even harder.

“Crowning” Bruce calls

“Fuck” I yell. A tear slips from my eyes and Thor wipes it kissing my head.

“You’re doing so good my love come on”

“Ok uh 1 more big push Y/N give it all to me” Thor stares at Bruce and he apologizes. Jealous bastard.

I bare down once more screaming. It feels like someone is shoving their hand up in my stomach and ripping out my guts.

He holds up the baby and all I see is blue. I feel my heart drop to my butt. He pats the butt but no response.

“Come on” He continues rubbing its stomach until I hear those faint cries.

“It’s a girl” he smiles. Bruce puts the baby on my chest and she’s so little.

“Hi honey” I wrap her in a towel

...

I’m laying in the cold ass hospital bed and they roll the baby in.

“Here she is” the nurse puts her in my arms. I need a name.

“A group of people out there is waiting want me to send them in?”

“Give me a minute” she nods leaving me with the baby. She opens her eyes slightly and I already see she has her fathers eyes. I touch her little hand and she smiles showcasing those deep dimples. Tears blue my vision then stream down my face.

“I can’t” I shake my head “I can’t do this to you”

The nurse comes back smiling.

“Can you get bring everyone” she nods walking back out. I stare at my baby girl until they come. “I think I know what your names gonna be”

The entire gang comes in and they smile.

“Caden and Amelia?” I call out. They step forward and I sigh.

“I know I’ll feel guilty for doing this but I can’t give up my baby. I get attached to her the first day she was in there so I’ll compensate-“

“Y/N we knew you’d keep that baby. We had a strong feeling so we adopted another child. It’s ok” I smile. They kiss my head and Thor nearly loses his shit. The couple leaves and I look to him.

“Why do you have to be so jealous?” In response he rolls his eyes

“What’s her name?”

“Heiress Angel Odinson” Thor’s face lights up like a Christmas tree “is that ok?”

“Yes” he walks closer and I lift her up. He declines quickly “She’s too little”

“Hold her” I relentlessly place her in his arms and she’s about as big as his hand and wrist. He starts crying again.

“Aww big man is crying” Tony smile patting his shoulder.

“Tony go in my pocket and grab the box” he does so pulling out a black matte box.

“Y/N you’re the most beautiful and the strongest woman I know. You had our child at home no medicine. I know we’ve had our differences but one thing you got wrong when we talked earlier was that I’m still in love with Jane. And that’s not true. To prove that” he looks at Tony and he moves next to my side getting on one knee making tears spill over as I laugh at his stupidity “I want to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman on earth and Asgard. Will you marry me?” By now I’m crying buckets of tears.

“Yes” I nod. He comes down and kisses me.

“Well guys we’re gonna have a wedding” the gang cheers.

[chicagolove88]

“September saw a month of tears. And thankin' God that you weren't here”

Characters: Dean x reader, OMC, OFC, OFC, Sam, Ketch

Word Count: 3069 sorry its hella long. I gotta going and couldn't stop

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of cheating, pregnancy, miscarriage, angst I guess

Written for @anotherwaywardsister summer challenge! I apologize if it is terrible. I am not a great writer and just wanted to give it a shot!

September.

It was always your favorite month in previous years. It contained everything that you loved- your birthday, fall, bonfires,the start of football and hockey season.  It was the month that you fell in love not for the first time but for the best time, now it all reminds you of the month that you lost everything that mattered. Now all it brings every year is heartbreak and bad memories.

As the leaves began to change and the nights got cooler, you tried to forget what month it was as you and your best friend Haylee continued through campus back to the sorority house that you both lived in. There was a crisp fall wind that was blowing through on this friday afternoon. “Shit dude it is getting chilly out but you know what that means” Haylee says to you as you look at her and smirk. Of course you knew what that meant. It meant tailgating tomorrow for the football game was going to be how the good Lord intended football tailgating to be like and not in the sweltering heat like these past years in Texas. “Oh come on Hayls we all know that our alcohol blankets will be keeping us plenty warm tomorrow no matter what” you say as you bump her shoulder. She chuckles and flips her blonde hair over her shoulder as you two continue on your way as Haylee continues chattering about the game tomorrow and how Cameron her boyfriend, our starting defenseman, was not paying enough attention to her during the week because he has been so focused on the game. You look up from your phone just as you two were about to pass the hockey house on the edge of campus when you saw something that knocked the wind right out of you. That damn black 1967 Chevy Impala which only meant one thing. Dean was in town and you don't know if your heart can take this right now.

All of the feelings that you’ve been pushing down over the past year started rising backup and you could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes. You didn’t realize that you had stopped heard Haylee scream your name and start walking back towards you. “Dude, what’s wrong with….” she starts to say and abruptly ends as she sees what you are staring at. “What the hell is he doing back here? Cam never said Sammy said anything about Dean coming back for the weekend”. Two years. You successfully dodged Dean for a year every time he was in town but now it doesn't matter. You knew deep down this weekend you were eventually going to come face to face with the man that broke your heart. You were a tough girl so you told yourself to put your game face on and tore your gaze away from the house and the car that Dean so fondly called Baby. “Come on Hayls lets go” as you begin walking pulling her arm as you walked past her. When you finally got back to the sorority house, you sprinted upstairs to the room that Haylee and you shared in the house and collapsed on your bed. You weren’t sure if you fully made it onto your bed before you started sobbing.

You had met Dean the beginning of your sophomore year in the middle of August. You both were in General Psych together. By some stroke of luck or laziness, you were running late to Psych and ended up sitting by him on the first day and that same day your professor made you partners on an assignment due mid-September. You couldn’t believe you were partnered with the captain and star center of your schools hockey team. Every time Dean would see you on campus he’d wink at you or say “Hi Princess” to you. It made you blush and a lot of other girls jealous. You never thought anything of it until one night at a party at the hockey house. Some dude was trying to hit on you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The jerk tried to grab you when you walked away and Dean almost knocked his lights out right then and there. It was the first week of September and you found yourself pinned up against a wall making out with the star center. It was the first week of September when Dean learned how to make you scream the way he liked. That night of the party after you two had finished, you went to go leave. Dean softly touched your arm and said for you to stay. You couldn’t explain why it felt so right so you grabbed one of his old Zeppelin T-shirt to sleep in and curled up besides him. Dean never told you but sleeping next to you was the best sleep he ever got. Like he finally found what was missing all his life. By the second week of September you were a frequent at the hockey house and we’re officially dating Dean Winchester. By the last week of September you knew you loved him and though Dean never told you,he knew he loved you then too. Even though you waited three more weeks to tell him. You two just seemed to click even though you both were strong willed and tough. He was sweet and gentle with you. You knew that no love you had before this had felt like this.

You and Dean had been together a year. A year of long distance. He had been drafted by the Dallas Stars the June of his sophomore year but got the invite to training camp that June. You had never been so proud to be there with him when he got the call, to help him pick out the apartment that would eventually be both of yours in Dallas. Or so you thought. Long distance was beginning to take its toll. Even though Houston was only three hours from Dallas , it still felt like a million miles away between your internships over the summer and Dean in training camp and workouts all the time, but the short times that you two spent together were passionate and enough to make up for the distance. Even if they were short lived, but recently those times have become shorter and shorter. Dean stopped texting back and was always busy it seemed like. August came and another school year started and you noticed something wasn’t right. You felt sick all the time and were continuously throwing up in the morning until two weeks later Haylee convinced you to take a pregnancy test. Two pink lines stared back at you after the two minutes. This wasn’t how this was suppose to happen. When did anything go the way it was suppose to happen with you though. How were you going to tell Dean? He already had too much on his plate. Dean was coming in that weekend for the hockey game so he could see Sammy play and to celebrate your anniversary that was later in September but he would be gone for a game. It was not the ideal time to tell him, but you had to. As the week dragged on, you kept thinking of ways to tell Dean about this. Soon Friday rolled around and Dean was back on campus. You heard the low rumble of Baby outside your window and headed downstairs. Once outside, you ran to Dean who was leaning against the passenger side door and he swooped you off your feet into one big hug. “I missed your princess” you heard him say as he kissed the top of your head. “I missed you too D” you said as you place a kiss on his lips. “Come on let’s go get food” he said as he opened the car door for you to get inside. You decided now or never was the time to tell him. “Actually, D we need to talk it's really important. Can we go to our spot?” you ask him nervously. “Yeah honey that's fine. Is everything ok?” he asked as he goes to shut the door and you just nod because it really isn't but you don't know what to say in place of that.Deans hand is on your leg the entire ride to the lake that you guys always went to.

Once there you got out of Baby and walked around sitting on the hood as Dean stood in front of you. “Baby girl whats wrong? You kinda have me  freaked out a little” Dean said. You took a breathe knowing that this was the time “Dean, I’m pregnant. I took multiple tests and they all came back positive. I know this is like really crappy timing but I don’t know things don't happen the way that they are suppose to” you say as you look back at Dean. There was a moment of silence between the two of you as you look at Dean. “What the hell. This is the last thing that I need right now Y/N! How can this be happening” he says as he turns around putting his hands behind his head. All it did was elicit a shrug from you because you didn’t know what to say. “Are you like really sure about this y/n?” he asked drawing my attention from my hands that all of the sudden became very interesting. “Pretty damn positive Dean.Three pregnancy tests and a missed period pretty much solidifies that this happening.” you said back. What he said next still shocks you to this day. “Are you sure that it’s even mine. I mean come on it had been over a month and half since we have slept together. How do I know that you didn’t get drunk and hook up on accident with one of those frat boys you worked with at the internship. You seemed pretty friendly with them in your snapchats and instagrams” he said. “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW DEAN?” you screamed. “ You are seriously going to sit here and accuse me of cheating on you? Seriously?! You are the ones that has been hanging out with models and cheerleaders. Maybe I should be the one questioning you about that. You've stopped returning texts and have been hanging up on me when people walk in the room.” you shouted at him. “Oh get over yourself. I’m not cheating on you. I just cant talk all the time like I use too. I have important things I have to do.” he shouted back. “Important things? LIKE WHAT? I mean seriously I think after a year I warrant a reply on a text!” you said back to him as you start crying. You were pissed and were almost to the point of seeing red. “Jesus Christ Y/N I have things with coaches and practice. THOSE TYPE OF IMPORTANT THINGS” he said as he starts pacing in front of the Impala. Tears were streaming down your face as he was yelling things at you  “Shut up Dean. Just shut up!” you kept saying as he was yelling still. “Y/N” he says as he took a deep breathe and looked at you. “This isn’t working anymore. I can’t do this. I’ll do whatever you need for the baby and I’ll be as active as I can but I can’t do this with you anymore. All we do is fight anymore. We’re both two strong of personalities”. Your world in that moment came crashing down around you as you began to sob harder as you sat on the hood of the car. In one swift motion, you jumped off the hood of the impala and began walking the opposite direction as Dean grabs your arm. You just shrug him off and turn around “Fuck you Dean Winchester. Leave me alone and leave this kid alone. I dont want your help. I will find my own ride back, wouldn't want to burden you.” you said and turn around and continue walking. Pulling out your phone you call Haylee and when she picks up you just begin to sob eventually getting out the question of asking her to come pick you up and where you were. Her and your other best friend Kenzie hugged you all night as your cried into your pillow as in the first week of September your world came crashing down around you. You thought that it couldn't get any worse until the third week of September on a Tuesday might and it did. Something again wasn’t right and you kept feeling sharp pains in your sides and all throughout your stomach. You just thought that it was stress on the baby and kept going upon your day, until it wasn’t. Until you passed out and woke up in a hospital room. Until you learned that you had a miscarriage and they were going to release you. Haylee and Kenzie hugged you again all night as you cried on your bathroom floor. The next day you picked up your phone and called a name that you had been trying not to think about in weeks and left a voicemail. D, its me. I just wanted to let you know that I miscarried last night. I know I shouldn’t  be telling you on a voicemail but i think if i heard your voice right now because it’ll just hurt me even more. I’m sorry for the way that we ended, but I guess this is a burden off of you now. Good luck with hockey and life. I’ll be cheering for you. Love you. Always have and always will. Bye.  You cried even harder after you got off the phone. The best and worst mistake you ever made was Dean Winchester and you knew that your best love didn’t get to be your last one.

Over the course of the school year, you successfully had dodged Dean every time he had come in to see his brother thanks to a few heads up from some friends. He tried to call you a couple times but you always declined it. He never left a voicemail and eventually he stopped trying. Dean’s team made it to the Stanley Cup Finals and lost. It broke your heart to see him cry on tv. You even dated another guy named Ketch but it didn’t work out. Nothing he did ever seemed to live up to Dean Winchester and it hurt you every time. Junior year came and went and no matter what people say, time does not heal all wounds.

Haylee and Kenzie came in sometime while you were crying and eventually one of them cleared their throat. “Girl, you know I’ll punch him for you but please please don’t let him ruin this weekend for you. It’s your senior year.” Kenzie said. You just shook your head and said “I know. I agree”. “I’m going for a drive I’ll be back later” as you grab your keys to your Jeep Wrangler and hop in. You ended up by the lake. You didn’t intend to come here but somehow you auto piloted here. You got out and climb up onto the hood of your Jeep and laid in the sun. Popping headphones in you began listening to some Eric Church. Dean hated country and always made fun of you for loving it but you didn’t care. Slowly you began humming Springsteen as it came on. You thought you heard tires crunching on the dirt road behind you but you ignored it. Still humming you after a couple minutes you swear you heard a door slam so you open your eyes. Shading your eyes from the sun you see the last car you want to see right now, a black Chevy Impala. You knew you were going to have to face this some time this weekend, so you quickly pop your headphones out as you see Dean approaching your Jeep. “Knew I could find you here. You always did love it out here” he said looking at the lake. “Yeah it’s calm here. I like it.” you answered back to him. “Why are you here Dean? You didn’t need to come back. Not this year. Please don’t ruin my senior year. I spent all of junior year trying to get over you” You said as you slid off the hood of your Jeep and jump down. “Did it work? Did you get over me? Because if you did can you tell me how you did because I’m not over you” Dean said quietly behind you. Hearing those words made you start crying so you just shook your head no. “Princess, I don’t know what that head shake means. No you’re not over me or no you won’t tell me?” He said as he takes a step towards you. “No I’m not over you Dean. Never will be” you whispered as you felt him hug you from behind making you cry harder. He spun you around so you were facing him as he leaned up against the hood of the Impala “I’m sorry y/n. I’m sorry I freaked out last year on you. I panicked. I didn’t want it to be real. There was too much going on. I’m sorry that you felt you couldn’t call and talk to me. I’m sorry I didn’t come when you were in the hospital that night or any night after that. I drove here ya know? Sammy called me when Cam told him after Hayls was in hysterics that you were in the hospital. I sat outside and stared at the building until I watched you walk out when you were released. I'm sorry I didn’t fight harder when you walked away. I didn’t think you’d actually walk away.  ” Dean says as you continue crying. Your damn near hysterical at this point. A year. A year is all it took for him to finally say what needed to be said. “I’m sorry too. For the way everything played out and for not fighting back. I just couldn’t at that moment.” You said in between sobs into his shoulder as he pulls you into a hug. “I missed you princess. Every single night. Dallas isn’t the same without you. When we lost in the finals last year all I wanted to do was call you but I couldn’t” Dean said to you as you wiped your eyes dry. “Yeah I watched. I cried when they showed you tearing up on tv. But you know if you would have just went top shelf on that last shot you probably would have tied the game” you said back to him as you stand shoulder to shoulder with him leaning against the Impala. You feel him shove your shoulder and you smile a little. It reminds you of old times. After a couple minutes of silence you hop up on Baby’s hood and turn to look at Dean. “D, can I ask you a question?” You ask as he stand in The Sun with his eyes closed. Hmm is all you hear him murmur in response. “Do you think we’d ever work out? Like actually make it all the way without a dumb fight?” You ask while staring at the lake. It seemed like forever until you heard him answer. “I think” dean says as he moves to where he’s facing you in between your legs, “that we would be unstoppable. I think we’d be able to tackle whatever came towards us” he said as he leaned in to you. Forehead to forehead staring in each other’s eyes when a next question came in to your head but before you could ask it, you felt Deans lips crash onto yours. As your tongues worked together, you let out a small moan. Over a year since you had been kissed this way and you missed every second of it with every fiber of your being. Dean broke away from the kiss and you gave him a little bit of a pouty face. “Oh don’t pout come on serious question time” he says as he grabs your hands. “Fine but I liked our previous activity better than this. What’s the question?” “Wanna give us. This whole crazy thing another shot. I promise no more crazy yelling this time”. You nod and say “Hell yeah” before you lean in for another kiss.

Five years later:

September.

It was the month you fell in love, lost that love, and gained that love back. Dean and you had been together over four years now since your senior year. You’ve had your ups and downs but you got through them. The past summer had been a whirlwind. Haylee and Cameron had their first kid and you were trying to help out as much as you can. Sammy ended up getting traded last off-season to the Stars so him and Dean got to play on the same team. You had never seen Dean so happy as he was when he stepped onto the ice the first time with Sam. Sam's girlfriend Jess made fun of you as you cried a little. On a late September weekend , Dean insisted that you guys back to Houston to your old alma mater. The last night you were there, he insisted that you two go for a drive. So you jumped in Baby to please him and watched as The Sun began to go lower in the sky. Dean seemed jumpy. “Babe what’s wrong you’re all nervous.” You say to him as you pat his face. “No I’m not. I’m fine” he says. “MHMM sure but if you’re taking me somewhere to kill me I’m sure they’ll eventually find me. Hopefully” you say back to him as you stare out the window. Soon you see the lake and Dean pulls up and parks the car. He gets out leaving the headlights on. You follow him out of the car and watch The Sun start setting over the lake. Dean pulls you in front of the car holding your hands standing face to face. “Y/N I love you. I love you so much. I know that we’ve had our ups and downs way more than anyone else in this crazy thing called life. But I don’t want to do this without you. Ever. I want to come home to you every night and call you when I’ve had a bad game. I want to put our children in the Stanley Cup hopefully one day. I want to grow old and by a bunch of dogs with you. Will you marry me?” Dean asks as he get down on one knee. “YOU BET YOUR ASS I WILL” You say in response as he slips the ring on your finger. This September you cried tears of happiness.