#it’s been a hot minute since I’ve played a game blindly

[hana-bobo-finch]

Vi idk who you are but I love you

[tripleaxeldiaz]

like it’s a little secret, like it’s all he has to give

for @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels <3

read on ao3

He didn’t mean for this to happen.

Well, no. He wanted it to happen, had been planning to make it happen with a lot more wooing and sweeping off of feet to get them to a perfect moment where he could tell Buck exactly how much he loves him and needs him in his life.

So he did want it to happen, of course. He just didn’t expect it to happen like it did — after a night out with the team, in the dim light of his living room, during a tipsy game of Truth or Dare like they were in high school again. Buck had said, “Dare”, and the three beers and two shots swimming in Eddie’s brain said, “I dare you to kiss me.”

And he did.

And one kiss turned into two, turned into making out on Eddie’s couch, turned into stumbling blindly toward the bedroom, turned into fingertips burning trails up backs, whispered confessions into necks, and muffled moans of yes and more and please and Eddie.

So it happened. It’s still happening.

That isn’t the problem. 

The problem is that it happened six months ago and they still haven’t told anyone.

It’s not that they don’t trust their friends or that they aren’t serious about each other. In fact, they’re probably too serious about each other, about making this the thing that sticks. The morning after their first night together, they talked for hours about their past failed relationships and insecurities, laying every, ugly part out for each other to see.

“I just want to be enough,” Eddie said, throat as raw as his insides felt. 

Buck’s hand slid up his back to scratch through his hair. “You’re more than enough for me. And I’d like to stick around and prove that to you, as long as you’ll let me.”

“Forever, ideally.”

“Forever it is.”

“I’m gonna fuck this up.”

Buck shrugged. “So will I. Maybe we give ourselves some time — fuck things up quietly before we let other people know?”

Eddie kissed Buck again, softly, soundly, relief surging through him because Buck gets it and wants to make this work and, this way, he feels like they may actually have a chance.

So that was that. Nothing really changed — Buck was still at the Diaz house more often than not, but now sleepovers meant Buck was in bed with Eddie instead of on the couch (except for the half hour before Chris woke up when Buck snuck out to the living room). They were still a dynamic duo on calls, they just also had each other after calls now too, especially bad ones. They were able to get to know each other as boyfriends instead of just best friends, figure out what they wanted and needed from a relationship, and smooth out the bumps they hit on their own, without any outside influence.

Now, they’re in a good spot. The best spot. And six months is a long time to keep quiet about something that makes Eddie so happy he could explode. But—

“They’re gonna be mad,” he says, head pillowed in Buck’s lap, absently picking at the label of his empty beer bottle. Buck hums, fingers combing through Eddie’s hair, the TV softly playing some reality show about a yacht crew.

“You don’t think they’ll be happy for us too?”

“They probably have a betting pool going on us. Then they’ll be mad and gloating.”

Buck’s hand stills on his head. “Eddie, if you don’t want to—”

Eddie scrambles up to sitting, taking both of Buck’s hands in his because he’s stopping that train of thought right now. “I do want to. I really do. I’m just—”

“Nervous?”

Eddie nods, absently placing a kiss inside Buck’s wrist as he gathers his thoughts. “I trust you. More than anything. And I trust us. I just don’t trust anything else, not yet. We’ve been in our own little world for a while, I just need to get used to that not being the case anymore.” 

Buck’s quiet for a minute before he leans forward, kissing Eddie’s forehead. “I don’t really trust anything else either. I’m happy to wait and follow your lead. As long as you know you’re stuck with me.”

Eddie kisses him quickly before laying back down, Buck’s hand automatically threading into his hair again. “You’re stuck with me, too. Even when cute, injured bikers try to steal me away—”

He feels a sharp tug on his hair. “I knew you did that on purpose!”

Buck’s jealous streak is a mile wide, Eddie’s known that since the day they met. So what if he’s exploited it a little while they’ve been sneaking around? How could he have known for sure that a little extra flirting on a call would get him blown within an inch of his life in a storage closet as soon as they got back to the station? He’d surely expected it, but…

Whatever. Sue him. His boyfriend’s hot when he’s territorial, and he’s only a man.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie should have known the universe would start fucking with them almost immediately.

The team has never been shy about trying to set both of them up — there’s always a friend of a friend or a second cousin or a neighbor that would be perfect for, as Hen so lovingly puts it, “our hot and lonely coworkers”. It’s only gotten worse in the past month or so, when a team trivia night turned into a team-and-significant-others trivia night, “forcing” Buck and Eddie to pair up to even things out. Ever since, he’s been cornered almost every day by Hen and/or Chim, each with a handful of people that would love to take Eddie out to dinner, and he knows they do the same to Buck. He’s pretty sure they have a shared spreadsheet about it.

“Come on Eddie, Nick is great! He’s tall, he owns a gym, his dog is cute—”

“Chim,” Eddie cuts him off, pulling his head out of the fridge to face Chimney and Hen seated at the island. He could end it now, just tell them I don’t want to go out with your new personal trainer because I already have a boyfriend, but it’s the middle of shift and everyone is still lingering from lunch and...it’s too much right now. Over Chim’s shoulder, he can see Buck looking at him from the couch, probably thinking the same thing (because they do that a little too often). Buck just raises his eyebrows and shrugs, saying I’m following your lead. Eddie falls a little bit more in love with him.

He focuses back on Hen and Chim. “I appreciate you guys worrying about me in your own weird way, but I’m fine. Plus, I have a thing and Chris’ school Thursday night anyway.” 

He does not have a thing at Chris’ school, and he feels bad using his kid like this, but drastic times call for drastic measures.

Hen holds up her hands as Chim deflates just a little. “Fine fine,” she says. “We know you’re busy.” She looks at Chim, and they have a quick conversation with their eyebrows before he gets up and slowly walks toward Buck.

“So, Buck, my dear pseudo brother-in-law. How’s your Thursday—”

Buck doesn’t even look up from his book. “No. Maddie and I are having a wine night, and we’re gonna talk shit about you the entire time.”

Chim squawks at that, and Eddie does a bad job of turning his laugh into a cough. It does get them to back off for the rest of the week, though Eddie resigns himself to this vicious cycle of theirs until he can finally shake the feeling that everything he and Buck have been building will dissolve through his fingertips as soon as they let anyone else in. 

It’s vicious but predictable. Easy to follow, easy to get ahead of. It gives Eddie a little room to breathe while he sorts his head out.

Naturally, that’s when Abuela decides to get involved.

Eddie’s never been able to refuse her anything — that’s how he ended up at her house on his day off in the first place, fixing a broken dryer and tightening cabinets and anything else she happens to remember she needs while he’s here. He really doesn’t mind, and he’s happy to spend any time with her that he can, but she’s been...prying. All day. As casually as she can, but he can tell she’s fishing for something. 

“Edmundo,” she says as they sit down for lunch. “You’re telling me you can’t even remember the last time you went on a date?”

Of course he can — he and Buck haven’t been able to go on many “normal” dates since they got together, but they did manage to coordinate a weekend in Ojai a few weeks back where all they did was eat, lounge by the pool, and have sex in their much-too-fancy-for-them hotel room. 

That counts as a couple of dates, right?

He shrugs instead. “I’ve been busy. Between work and Chris, I’ve just got a lot on my plate. I don’t really have time for dating.” And I don’t think my boyfriend would be too happy about it, he thinks.

“Of course,” she says. She keeps eating like that’s the end of that, but he knows there’s something else. When she finishes, she pushes her plate aside and looks at him dead on, with that There’s no way you’re getting out of this look in her eyes. “You know, if you did want to get out there again, my friend Diana has a granddaughter around your age that just moved to LA and wants to meet some people.”

There it is.

“Abuela, I really don’t think—” 

“It doesn’t have to be a date, it can just be dinner! The two of you getting to know each other. She’s sweet, she’s beautiful, and she’s a teacher, so she’s great with kids. At the very least, she could be a good friend.” She reaches across the table and grabs his hand in both of hers. “You work too hard, Edmundo. You deserve to do something nice for yourself, and that can be as easy as going out to a nice restaurant with a pretty girl for one night.”

He should tell her. He should tell her everything, even though Buck’s not here, even though he still has a stupid voice in his head telling him that as soon as their bubble pops, the likelihood of everything going belly up will skyrocket. He doesn’t want to lead this poor girl on, but Abuela is also looking at him all sad and hopeful, because she does want him to be happy, and—

“Fine. One dinner.”

Abuela cheers, actually cheers, and hugs him tightly before getting her phone. She calls Diana to set everything up themselves, rather than giving Eddie the girl’s — Chelsea’s — number. By the time he leaves, they’re set for 8pm next Friday at an Italian place downtown, and they each have a description of what the other will be wearing. “Like a real blind date,” Abuela says, and Eddie tries not to actually kick himself for falling into this trap.

He needs to get out of this. Abuela wouldn’t give him her number (“so your first meeting will be as magical as possible”), so he’ll just have to tell her right from the start on Friday. He feels bad, but hopefully she’s as nice as he’s been told and she takes it okay. And should he tell Buck? Probably, but is it even an issue if he’s not actually going through with the date? Buck’s working an overnight on Friday, so he won’t even be around when he’s supposed to be out. He could smooth it all over himself and then really sit down and get his shit together to figure out how they’re going to tell everyone, so no more fake dates happen ever again. 

He’s got this. It’s not his best idea ever, but it’ll have to do. Everything will be totally fine.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Eds? You home?”

Shit.

Eddie scrambles to shut his bedroom door, tripping over himself in the process and landing flat on his back. That’s how Buck finds him, and his stomach drops as he watches Buck’s face switch between worry and confusion as he takes in Eddie’s button down and slacks.

“Uh, hey,” he says. Buck offers a hand to help him up. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I’m on my way, just needed to grab my phone charger,” Buck says as he pulls Eddie up, checking him out again like he’s confirming that his brain isn’t playing tricks on him. “You’re awfully dressed up for your night off.”

Eddie sighs heavily through his nose. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid, and if he had left 10 minutes earlier like he meant to it would have been fine. But now Buck’s here, and he refuses to lie to him. He’s already been lying by omission enough this week.

“Abuela kinda set me up for dinner with her friend’s granddaughter,” he says quickly, panicking when Buck’s eyes go wide and his cheeks go pale. “But,” he moves closer, placing both hands firmly on Buck’s shoulders, taking it as a good sign that he doesn’t pull away, “I’m just going long enough to tell her that I’m very taken and this whole thing was a mistake. I promise, nothing was ever going to happen.” Buck does pull away then, and Eddie’s hands fall heavily back to his sides. “Buck, please—”

“I know,” he says quietly. “I know you wouldn’t do that to me. But Eds, I told you I’d follow your lead when it came to telling people about us, and if that meant fake dating other people that’s cool, I just wish you talked to me about it first. We’ve got to communicate and stuff, we’re on the same team here.”

“You’re right,” Eddie says. He slowly reaches for Buck’s hands, relieved again when he lets him. “I should have told you. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, and I didn’t want you to worry or think things were bad with us, because they’re not. But still. I’m sorry.” Buck doesn’t move, just stares at the floor. Eddie squeezes his hands. “Are we good?”

Buck finally looks up, and Eddie can’t get a read on his emotions like he usually can. But he squeezes his hands back and gives him a small smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “We’re good. But I should get going.” He slips out of Eddie’s hands and out the front door without another word. 

There was no yelling or accusations or anything bad, really, but Eddie still feels gutted, like every fear he had about messing up is starting to manifest like he knew they would. He should go after Buck, tell him how much he loves him, how much he trusts him, but he’s 20 minutes late now, and when he pictures Chelsea standing all by herself in a crowded restaurant looking for him, he feels a whole different wave of guilt crash inside him.

He’s going to fix this, all of this. He has to. And he’s got a 30 minute drive to think of a new plan.

~~~~~~~~~~

The drive ends up being closer to an hour, and all Eddie does is convince himself that the next time Buck sees him, he’s going to realize that Eddie’s not good enough for him and break up with him on the spot.

The restaurant is loud and crowded, lit mainly by the low candles placed on each table. Eddie’s eyes scan the room until he spots her at the bar — emerald dress and gold heels, just like Diana had told him. He slides into the empty seat next to her, awkwardly waving to get her attention. “Chelsea?”

She looks at him with a warm smile. “Edmundo, right?”

“Eddie’s fine.” He steals himself, figures ripping the band-aid right off is probably the best thing to do. “Look, I’m really sorry—”

“That’s not a great way to start a date.”

Guilt curls tighter in his stomach and up his arms. “This has been a huge misunderstanding. I’m kind of— I’m already in a relationship, and we haven’t told anyone, and my abuela was just trying to help, and she knows I can’t say no to her, and now everything is falling apart.” He feels even worse dumping all this on a woman he’s known for three minutes, but his brain seems to be doing its own thing at the moment, he’s just along for the ride.

She looks at him for a minute, before waving the bartender over. “Well, you’re here, and you sound like you’re about to lose your mind. Have one drink with me, and tell me everything.”

So he orders a Jack on the rocks and spills his guts — tells her about Buck, about why they kept everything under wraps, his plans to fix everything, how he’s so fucking scared that once everyone knows and their little fantasy world is gone, Buck will realize that he can do better, that he deserves better, and Eddie will have to put himself back together somehow. He’s not sure exactly how long he talks, but Chelsea listens intently to every word, and Eddie actually feels better when he’s done.

She finishes the last of her gin and tonic and looks him right in the eye. “I know we just met, but can I be real with you?”

Eddie nods as he knocks back his own drink.

“Your plans suck.”

He laughs and almost shoots whiskey out of his nose. “Yeah, I think I’m starting to figure that out too.”

“Look — you love your boyfriend, right?” she asks as she hands him a napkin.

“Of course. More than anything.”

“And he loves you.”

He thinks about the way Buck looks at him, no matter where they are, like he's the only person worth looking at. How it took a little while, but now he actually feels worthy of a gaze like that. “Yeah, he does.”

She shrugs. “Then it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. You have each other — everything and everyone else is just background noise.”

It’s such a simple thing, something Eddie’s known for months now, but hearing it come from someone else gives his mind that final shove that makes everything click into place and finally stick. They do have each other, he and Buck are a team, on and off the clock. That’s not going to change, if anything because they’re both too stubborn and in too deep to let it change.

“I know you’re already a teacher, but you should seriously consider becoming a therapist if you ever switch careers.”

“Believe me, this is nothing compared to the middle school problems I deal with on a daily basis.”

He shudders at the very idea of dealing with that many 13 year olds. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but thanks.” Slumping back in his chair, he scrubs a hand over his face. “I don’t even know how to start fixing this.”

Chelsea hums, face scrunched as she thinks. “You said he’s at work right? With all your friends too?” Eddie nods. “Sounds like as good a time as any to tell them. And remind Buck that you're with him one hundred percent.”

Eddie’s never been one for big, romantic gestures, but she’s right, and this is for Buck. He’ll do pretty much anything for Buck.

He stands, takes some cash out of his wallet for their drinks and places it on the bar. “Thank you Chelsea, seriously. This was...weird, and not a good first impression of me, but you’re a lifesaver.”

She smiles that warm smile again, and it feels real, no trace of pity or awkwardness. “No problem, I’m happy to help. Maybe we can get coffee sometime, as friends? I didn’t get a chance to dive into my own relationship woes.”

“Deal,” he says, laughing as he hands her his phone to actually get her number. They hug goodbye, and he all but sprints out the door and back to his truck, mind already racing trying to figure out what the hell he’s going to do once he gets to the firehouse. 

If he’s honest, this “date” really couldn’t have gone any better. He hopes the rest of his night turns out just as positive, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

The team’s in between calls when Eddie finally arrives, which is great but also does not give him a lot of time to prepare himself for whatever comes next. Rationally, he knows everything will be fine — the team will be thrilled for them, Buck will be thrilled — but there’s still that nagging voice telling him that Chelsea was wrong and that everything’s going to blow up in his face.

He shoves that voice as far away as he can and walks into the station.

There’s no plan this time beyond “find Buck”, which he does pretty quickly once he gets up to the loft. Everyone else is up here too, it seems, but he sees Buck first, curled up on the couch and watching Hen and Chim play Super Smash Bros. He has that same blank look he had on his face when he left Eddie’s earlier, and Eddie hates it. But that’s exactly what he came here to fix.

Buck double takes when he notices him at the top of the stairs, slowly unfurling himself to stand. “What are you doing here?”

A thousand thoughts fly through his head, trying to coalesce into some sweeping romantic speech that would reassure Buck of all the things Eddie’s sure he’s doubting right now. But nothing feels right, nothing even begins to scratch the surface of what Eddie’s feeling, has been feeling for the past months. Everything is fleeting and empty, pale in comparison to the technicolor love he feels every time Buck so much as looks in his direction.

Words aren’t working, but Eddie really isn’t a man of words anyway — he is, however, and man of action.

“I’m communicating,” he says, taking three long strides across the loft to Buck, grabbing his face in both of his hands, and kissing him hard. He tastes like smoke and peppermint and something fundamentally Buck that Eddie’s addicted to, and he feels a smile against his lips as Buck kisses him back in earnest. He’s not sure if it’s been seconds or years when they finally pull away from each other, but they’re both breathless and Buck is glowing and Eddie doesn’t care about anything else.

“I love you,” he says, hands still on Buck’s cheeks. “And I’m sorry. I’m always on your team, as long as you’ll let me be there.” 

Buck’s smile somehow gets even bigger. “Forever, ideally.”

Eddie’s laugh bubbles out of him as he leans back in, but stops when he hears a throat clearing somewhere to his right. He looks, and everyone — everyone, including people who were definitely downstairs when he got here — is staring at them with varying degrees of shock and excitement on their faces. Ripping the band-aid off works in his favor again.

“So,” Hen says slowly from the couch. “This is new.”

Eddie shrugs as he grabs Buck’s hand. “Not really. Unless six months old is new, I guess.”

“Six months old?”

“Closer to seven, actually,” Buck says.

There’s a clatter as Chim drops his controller and stands, arms up over his head. “That means I win!”

“Whoa, hold on, you do not—”

The loft erupts as everyone swarms Hen, talking technicalities and logistics of what was apparently a very elaborate betting pool. Buck hides his face in Eddie’s shoulder as he laughs.

“Do you think they’re actually happy for us?” Eddie asks. “Or mad that we screwed up their winnings?”

Buck looks up, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. “Probably both. But I’m the real winner here.”

“And a huge cheeseball,” Eddie says.

“Better get used to it, because you’re not getting rid of me,” Buck says, winding his arms around Eddie’s waist and kissing him again.

“Forever, right?” Eddie asks as they break apart, foreheads resting together. All he sees are Buck’s eyes, sparkling blue in the light of the loft and so full of happiness — happiness because of Eddie — that he wants to drown in them.

“Yeah. Forever. No turning back now.”

Eddie likes the sound of that.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Not Without Me

Warnings: dubcon sex, masturbation, fingering, oral, fucking

This is Bucky Barnes x reader in an established relationship and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The reader is tired of waiting for Bucky.

Note: A short little smutty piece to tide you over on a Sunday, sinners. ;P 

I hope y’all enjoy!

Let me know what you think! (Like, reblog, reply, leave some words, a gif, nonsensical emojis)

You were excited for Bucky’s return until it came. He greeted you with a peck so quick it barely touched your lips and a grumble about taking a shower. You said ‘okay’ and swallowed your disappointment that he hadn’t asked you to join. The long night of anticipation deflated in a second.

You were confused. What had changed so quickly? Last night, he’d kept you up with his messages; promises of what he intended when he got home. As his missions often ran for weeks, he was often pent up upon his return. But you felt like just another cushion on the couch.

Well, you shrugged, you couldn’t be selfish. He had just spent three weeks in the field and he deserved the time to decompress. You could wait. You’d waited this long.

When he emerged from the shower with only his track pants, you couldn’t help but look him over. His damp hair brushed along his shoulder as he stared at his phone and blindly found his way to the love seat. You stayed on the couch and changed the channel. You weren’t really paying attention anyway.

“How was it?” You asked.

“Long,” He said and you noticed the dark bruise along his ribs. “But it’s over.”

“Ah, I guess staying up late didn’t help,” You joked.

He swiped through his phone and muttered. You frowned. What was his problem?

You grabbed your cell from the table and opened up your convo. It was all there. ‘Can’t wait, babe’; ‘Been thinking about your ass all day.’, the usual dirty talk. You sighed and locked your phone. You glanced over at him and he looked up and blinked.

“Gotta send this off to Tony,” He turned his screen to you. “He’s been on me since I got on the jet back.”

“That’s cool,” You stood. “I’m gonna go finish my book.”

“Your book?” He was already looking at his phone again. 

“You know, that one I’ve been working on for the last year,” You scoffed. “I made good progress while you were gone.”

“Mmm,” He hummed and nodded. Still his eyes clung to the cell phone.

“Right, I’ll be in the room.” You said and he gave little more response than before.

You neared him and bent to kiss him. He turned his cheek up but didn’t offer his lips as his metal thumb flicked across the screen. You pecked him and pushed yourself away. Tomorrow. He probably just needed a good night’s sleep.

You left him reluctantly. You turned back at the stairs and peeked at him. He slumped down and sighed at his phone. You frowned. Despite the voice telling you to be reasonable, to be fucking patient, you wanted to jump on him and just take what he’d promised. You wanted to be touched after weeks of being alone. You wanted to be with him, not just sit in his half-aware presence.

You dragged your feet to the bedroom and set your phone on the dresser. You stopped as you hand hit the knob of the top drawer. You paused and listened. What was there to hear? His finger tapping on his screen. Even if your hearing was as strong as his, it didn’t matter.

You slowly slid open the drawer and your fingers delved beneath the panties. The ones you wore in expectation of Bucky would just be another drop in the hamper. You licked your lips and pulled out the small vibe. Your little bullet was reliable and easily hidden at the back of the drawer. Small and compact. Your dirty secret. A rather small bed warmer.

You tiptoed to the bed and grabbed your book from the bedside table as you let the bullet slip down on the mattress. Should you? Well, he wasn’t going to. You’d probably fall asleep reading Anna Karanina before he’d even happen upon the idea.

The spine of the book was broken and the corners were curled and worn. You’d carried it with you everywhere, as big as it was, and picked away at the blocks of Tolstoy’s writing. You read one line before your impatience got the best of you. He’d never know. He hadn’t figured it out yet, had he?

You set the book down on the pillow beside you and reached for the vibe resting against your leg. You twirled it between your fingers and admired the purple silicone. You ran your thumb along the end and clicked the button. You felt the buzz deep in your core as you gripped the toy.

You let out a shaky breath and reached to the elastic of your silky shorts. Bucky liked those ones. You thought he would have noticed your ass peeking out or at least how thin your camisole was. Forget him.

You rolled the toy down your pelvis and bent your legs. The elastic pressed to your arm as you angled the vibe along your folds and delved deeper. You gasped as you touched your clit with the vibrating toy and your other hand flitted up to your neck. You bit your lip and tugged down the strap of your top as cupped your breast. 

You played with your hard nipple and purred as the ripples coursed from between your legs. You were quaking in moments; overly sensitive as you had resisted since Bucky’s departure. You didn’t use the toy often, just in cases of desperate emergency.

You slid your palm over the toy and held it firmly to your clit. You poked two fingers down to your entrance and felt around. You pressed just inside and let out a squeak. It was nothing like the real thing but anything was enough. You pushed deeper and without thinking, let out a long moan.

You kept going, inching closer and closer to the edge. Your voice grew louder even as you tried to restrain it and you pressed your lips together and you squeezed your eyes shut. Your hot breath forced itself from your chest and you shuddered as you reached for your orgasm, the vibe rumbling against you as you bent your fingers deeper.

Before you could grasp your climax, the drawer snapped shut and you tore your hand away as you sat up. Bucky stood by the door, his metal fingers tapped on the dresser. He tutted as his jaw squared and he came closer. You blinked up at him and smiled guiltily.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked as he tilted his head.

“Relaxing,” You answered coyly. “I figured you were busy, so…”

He bent and grabbed your hand. He wrestled the toy from you and clicked it off as he held it up.

“I thought you got rid of all of these.” He closed his fist around it and you heard it snap in his metal grip. He dropped the broken toy and it bounced on the floor. “Like I asked you to.”

“Well, you’re away so long, I can’t always… wait.” You argued. “Whatever, I can just use my fingers.”

“What?” He hissed.

“I was in the middle of something,” You laid back and touched the top of your shorts. “So, if you’ll excuse--”

He wrenched your hand away and twisted your wrist.

“You’re not cute,” He warned. “Or funny.”

“Well, you didn’t seem interested.” You struggled with him.

“You never were good at waiting,” He snarled as he planted his knee between your legs. “Or listening.” He moved up so that he was straddling you. “Bad girl.”

“Get off,” You snatched your hand away as his grip loosened and you slapped his arm. “You missed out, buddy.”

“Did I?” He looked down and your eyes followed. His erection was snug against his track pants. “You did this, you gotta take care of it.”

“And you’re supposed to take care of me.” You snipped. “So?”

He took your hand again and put it to his pants. He pressed your hand against his dick and groaned. His other hand went to your chest, your camisole still askew and he tweaked your nipple harshly.

“So?” He said as he rubbed your hand along his girth. “You couldn’t wait twenty minutes to get that toy out? You think you can wait any longer?”

“You think you can?” You grinned.

His hand went to your jaw and you gulped. He was rarely this rough. Often, he was overly careful, afraid of his own strength.

“Buck,” You whispered, surprised by the heat in his eyes.

“You afraid?” He asked as he bent over you. “Hmm, you think I won’t take it?”

You giggled and touched his shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What are you laughing at?” He snarled. “This isn’t a game. You didn’t listen to me.”

“It’s just a toy.” You said.

“What? I’m not enough fun for you?” He hissed.

“Most of the time, you are,” You answered with a wink. His fingers tightened around your jaw.

“I noticed.” He growled. “This little number.” His other hand played with the lace along the bottom of your shirt as he lifted himself on his knees. “I told you. I had to finish some work.”

“You barely noticed I was there.” You huffed.

“Don’t be a child.” He pushed his hand down your shorts. His fingers crept down your pelvis and he felt along your cunt. “You want it, don’t you?”

“Not from you,” You snickered and his hand slipped to your throat.

“No?” He turned his hand and pushed two fingers inside of you. You gasped at how easily he did it. “You don’t want me?”

He curled his fingers as the heel of his hand pressed to your bud. 

“Trust me, babe, your toys can’t do what I can.” He purred.

“Buck-y,” You touched his wrist. “I can’t--”

“Shhh,” He squeezed harder as his hand continued to move between your legs. “Listen to you.”

Your fractured breaths barely passed your lips as you heard how wet you were around his fingers. Your lashes fluttered as your thighs closed around his hand. He let go of your neck as his fingers sped up and he rocked his hand against your cunt.

He lifted one leg to push your right one away then did the same to your left. He settled between your thighs and bent slowly. He moved back as he stared up at you and caught your hip as you tried to pull away. He slid his hand out the top of your shorts and tugged aside the crotch of your shorts, swiftly sliding his fingers into you once more.

“You wanted it so bad.” He sneered and kissed the inside of your thigh. “And you’re gonna get it.”

“Bucky…” You shuddered as he kneaded your thigh and pushed his fingers deeper.

He hushed you again and moved his hand, his tongue flicking over your clit and sending a rush of heat through you. Your legs bent around him as your eyes rolled back and he dragged his tongue over your bud again and again and again. 

You arched your back as he buried his face between your legs and fucked you fith his hand. He suckled at your clit and he curled his fingers to meet that special spot inside you. You whined and your hand shot down to grip the back of his head as the ends of his hair tickled along your thighs.

He shoved your hand away and kept on. You grasped the blankets beneath you and moaned. You were swept up in the sensation of his tongue and touch. You panted and pouted, your voice growing louder and louder as you rocked beneath Bucky.

“Yesss.” You purred. “Oh, Buck--”

Your voice sizzled as you came and your entire body tensed. You bit back your hot breath and quivered as you orgasm rolled over you. As you came down, you stilled and fell limp across the bed. 

Bucky lifted his head slowly to look at you. He smirked and pulled his fingers in and out a few last times before slipping out entirely.

“My turn, babe,” He climbed out from between your legs and removed his pants. He stood at the edge of the bed as his cock bobbed before him. “You know, I can’t even use my hand since I’ve had your pretty mouth.”

You stared at him sleepily and slowly sat up. He gripped his cock and wiggled it impatiently.

“And those shorts,” He rasped. “You can keep those on. Only those.”

You licked your lips and reached to the hem of your camisole. You tore it over your head and flung it over the edge of the bed. You got up and fell forward onto your hands to crawl to him. He reached out and tickled your cheek with his metal fingers. You raised your hand to grip him but he caught it and shoved it back down. 

“Just your mouth, babe,” He ordered as he drew his hands back to his hips.

You leaned forward and parted your lips. You caught his tip with your mouth and carefully stretched your lips over him. He hummed as he slid deeper and you stopped as he was halfway in. What were you doing? You were supposed to be mad at him. He latched onto you before you could pull away.

“I waited just as long as you did,” He said as he forced his cock deeper. “So long.” He sank down your throat and your eyes teared up as you choked on him. “That mouth, oh god.”

He stopped at his limit and drew back slowly, then pushed in again. He thrust into your mouth carefully, lingering after each. His motion built steadily as he kept his hips moving and your spit dripped down your chin and spread around your lips as you gulped and gagged. Your thighs brushed together and you flinched. You needed him inside you.

“What is it?” He taunted as you rubbed your legs together and stuck out your ass. “You want it now, huh?” 

He didn’t waver as he held your head between his hands and groaned. He sped up until you were dizzy and stopped sharply. He eased out of your mouth and lifted your chin as he gazed down at you.

“Let me see that ass.” He said and snapped his fingers. “Now.”

You turned around so quickly you nearly fell over. You stayed on all four as you wiggled your ass at him and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. He got up behind you on his knees. He guided himself down between your legs and past your shorts as he tugged them aside. He prodded at your entrance with a hum.

“Huh? You want me?” He asked.

“Yes,” You breathed.

“Better than a toy, huh?” He slapped your ass as he ran his cock up and down your cunt.

“Better, better,” You uttered. “Please…”

You pushed back into him and his tip poked inside. You gasped and he spread his hand over your ass as he slipped out of you. He tisked and teased you again with his tip. He pressed inside you again and this time he didn’t stop. He impaled you entirely as your walls clenched around him. You cried out in delight.

“Mmm,” He bent over you and hooked his arm around you. He straightened up and took you with him so that your back was to his front. “Babe…” He rocked his hips. “Fuck, you’re right. I don’t fuck you enough.” His hand slipped down your pelvis and his fingers swirled around your clit. “You’re so fucking tight.”

You whined and leaned into him, your hand on his thick thigh as you grasped at anything to keep from crumpling entirely. You shook as your core began to swell again. You needed more. You were so close.

Slowly, he backed you up and you were too weak to resist. His hands slipped down to the back of your legs and he scooped you up as he stood easily. He held you with your knees to your chest, his metal hand gripped your thigh as his other arm hugged your leg and his hand remained on your clit. 

You let him bounce you up and down, as perilous as it was. Your voice mingled with his deep grunts. You reached back and grabbed his head as your other hand gripped his side. You exclaimed as you were overcome by your orgasm. You begged and called his name as you longed for even more.

“You miss me?” He snarled.

“So much,” You moaned. “So much, Bucky.”

“Yeah,” He purred. “I missed you too.”

He hammered into you until you were speaking gibberish and your head lolled back on his shoulder. He grunted and his hot breath seared your chest as he buried his face against you. His thrusts grew jagged and he spasmed wildly. He staggered forward and fell onto you atop the bed.

He crushed you beneath him as he rutted into you. He chased his orgasm and his heat spilled into you. You hummed as he stilled and held himself inside of you, rolling his hips to make you squirm as you felt his heart beat against you.

“No more toys,” His breath tickled your ear and he kissed your temple. “You just gotta ask, babe.”

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Chief (Part 3/3)

Sam x Reader

Word Count: ~1450

Warnings: Light use of a flogger, not-so-light use of a vibrator. Dom!Sam. Squirting. Porn with a very schmoopy chaser. 

A/N: It has been over a year since I posted the second part of this, and I’d barely thought about it, but I just... got a bee in my bonnet, or whatever, and hammered this out in one sitting. It’s fondly dedicated to my new vibrator. 

This picks up right where the last one ended. Catch up here: Part 1 / Part 2

You can hear the scrape of the toy chest that you keep under the bed; Sam isn’t going for his belt, at least. Still, your ass is hot and stinging, throbbing even through the hazy high of postcoital bliss, and anything will feel intense on the inflamed skin right now. For a moment you just wait, listening as Sam rummages. Then you hear a familiar swishing sound. It’s the gentlest thing Sam could use, the deerhide flogger whose tails are buttery-soft and supple. You sigh with relief, practically giddy. 

There’s more rustling, the clink of Sam’s belt, the soft sound of his clothes falling to the floor. Then you can feel the mattress sink under his weight, and you hear his deep, steady breaths behind you. 

He traces up your center, one long finger curling into you. Your clit is still too sensitive from your last orgasm, but the pressure on your g-spot is incredible. You hum happily, rocking back, and he slips a second finger in, teasing, playing with you. 

Sam fucks you almost lazily with his fingers, slow and steady, a hypnotic sensation that almost makes you forget what’s coming; there’s a whole new wave of pleasure starting to build inside you. You arch your back, trying to spread your legs a little wider. 

“So pretty, all wet and ready for me,” he says quietly. “Five more. Got it?” 

His fingers curl in deep, one last time, and then they’re gone, and you whimper at the loss. Sam shifts, and you brace yourself. 

“Ready,” you tell him. 

Instead of the flogger, though, you feel something cool at your entrance: silicone. Sam slides the vibrator in quickly, and before you know it, he has it buzzing, low and gentle and teasing. The toy rubs against your g-spot just right, igniting something deep in your belly. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, gasping. 

You’re still trying to process the stimulation of the vibrator, and the swish of the flogger takes you by surprise. The impact that follows, gentle as it is, makes you cry out. 

“One,” you say shakily. Sam turns the toy up a notch higher, and you whine, biting back a curse. You could almost come from this, but you know Sam won’t let you, not yet at least. 

The second impact is just a shade harder, and you choke out, “Two.” As soon as the word escapes your lips, Sam turns the vibrator up. 

So… this is his game. 

You whimper low in your throat, waiting for the next hit from the flogger, but instead, Sam plays with the toy, sliding it in deeper, thrusting it right against the spot that makes you feel like you might explode with the perfect swell of pressure. 

You’re so tense and ready for the hit that you shout it before you have a chance to process the pain: “Three.”

You grit your teeth, bracing yourself, prepared for the increased intensity this time, but the coil of tension still makes fireworks explode behind your eyelids. You can feel all that heat building, rising in your core, steady and inevitable. 

Sam puts some muscle into the fourth hit, and it’s enough to make the deerhide tails feel vicious on your skin. You sob out a quiet, “Four.”

“Almost there,” Sam says, husky and heated. When he turns the vibrator up another notch, your vision flashes white. 

One last flare of sweet-sharp pain, and you groan, “Five.” 

“Good girl,” Sam growls, and he turns the vibrator up again. It’s fucking unbearable. You can feel the pressure everywhere, filling you up until you’re afraid you’ll burst from it. You twist your fingers in the sheets, clutching at the fabric desperately as if you can physically hold yourself back.

“Sam, I can’t, I can’t wait, I can’t, please,” you babble. “Please, Sam, I need to come right fucking now.”  

Then Sam pulls the vibrator out with an obscene slick sound, and before you can suck in a breath to beg again, he has the hot velvety head of his cock pressed to your entrance, and he thrusts in with one long smooth movement, thick and hard and gut-wrenchingly good. 

“Do it,” he gasps, and he sounds almost as wrecked as you feel as he twists his hips, grinding in deep, shoving right up against that same spot with a force that makes your arms give out. You half-collapse onto your elbows, and the next sweet rolling thrust hits with even more sparking friction. 

“Ohgodthere,” you hiss, writhing under him, trying to get him deeper, so close you feel frantic with need. 

“I’ve got you,” he says roughly. “Let go, I’ve got you.” 

You let out an ugly, animalistic noise, half sob and half scream. Something surges up inside you, all the way up from the tips of your toes. You’ve only squirted once before but you recognize that feeling in the split-second before the pressure in your belly hits a breaking point; then it starts quaking out from your core, and you’re dimly aware of the first wet rush of it soaking the sheets. Sam groans, rough and ragged, hips snapping forward wildly. Then your orgasm peaks, ripping through you, and everything goes dark and distant. 

It feels like you black out for a minute, maybe two, but you can’t really keep track of time. You’re just floating, utterly limp and wrung-out... but you can hear Sam’s voice saying your name, and you gradually become aware of your body again. Opening your eyes is like trying to swim to the surface from very deep underwater. 

Sam is half on top of you, and his weight is grounding and comforting even though you’re in danger of overheating. You’re both collapsed forward, on your stomachs, all tangled together, and you can feel the way his breath hitches in his chest as he croons your name again. He shifts, and you mumble a protest. 

“Still with me?” he whispers. He nuzzles into the side of your neck and then kisses your temple, smoothing your sweaty hair back from your forehead.

“Mmph,” you say, articulate as ever. 

“Be right back,” he promises. He pulls out and moves away, and then you let out a disgruntled sound, realizing that you’re lying in one hell of a wet spot. You muster all your energy to wriggle six inches to one side. 

Sam turns the sink on for a moment, and you turn your head to watch him, admiring the muscles in his back as he stands there. He comes back with the washcloth in one hand and a towel in the other. 

“So smart,” you mumble. 

He cleans you up so gently it takes your breath away, handling you like he’s afraid you’ll break. When you’re both clean (or at least slightly less gross) he slides into bed, and you roll right over the towel to settle on top of him, cheek to his chest, listening contentedly to his heartbeat as it slows. He runs a hand carefully down your back and brushes his palm over your ass, grazing heated skin that’s aching dully with the promise of tomorrow’s bruises. 

“There’s that lotion,” he murmurs. “The arnica stuff. Let me --” 

“Nope,” you insist, clinging to him. “Not moving.” 

You feel the low rumble of his laugh under your cheek, and then his chest rises and falls as he sighs. 

“Just want to take care of you,” he whispers, stroking your hair again. You lift your head until you can smile at him, feeling dazed and punch-drunk, high on the afterglow and the way you feel about him. 

“You always take such good care of me,” you say quietly, wishing there were stronger words for this feeling in your ribcage; for now, though, all you can say is, “I love you, Sam.”

He smiles like he’s melting, soft and sweet and tender. His eyes are already half-closed, long lashes fluttering. You don’t want to know how long it’s been since he got a full night of sleep. 

“Love you more,” he mumbles. He reaches out blindly for the lamp and fumbles with the switch, and you’re pretty sure he’s asleep the second darkness falls. 

Tomorrow, there will be hunters to train, strategy meetings and research sessions and chaos. Tomorrow, Sam will be alert and laser-focused and commanding, giving out orders, making plans. Tomorrow, he shoulders the weight of being “Chief” again. For now, though, he’s all yours. 

You smile to yourself, listening to his breathing go deep and steady, trying to memorize the way his skin feels, the way his body fits against yours. You don’t get enough moments like this, quiet and still, just the two of you; you’re going to appreciate it while you can. 

.

.

.

[adorethedistance]

I Do, Do You? - JJ Maybank x Reader Imagine

(I don’t own this image, if it’s yours and you don’t want me to use it, message me and I’ll take it down.)

Request: by anon: It’d be really cool if you could write something about the trend where you kiss your best friend with jj, where the reader does it and jj gets really excited about it

Warnings: This is super fluffy but I can’t really think of any potential triggers. If you find some PLEASE point them out to me!

Words: 993 

Anxious butterflies have settled in my stomach since early this morning when I scrolled through the entire trend of ‘kissing my best friend’ videos. I decided this was it. If I was ever going to try and be more than a friend to JJ, this was my chance.

As I sit next to him on the couch, my heart is flying 1000 mph. I don’t know if JJ can sense I’m acting differently but I hope he can’t. We’ve been lounging around, watching movies all day, surely he won’t think anything of it if I ask-

“Do you want to make a Tik Tok?” He looks at me without picking his head up off the back of the couch. He’s totally on to me and he’s totally going to say no.

“Sure.” Oh.

Standing from my spot on the couch, I extend a paw to pull JJ’s lazy ass off of the couch but instead of counteracting my body weight to pick himself up, he pulls me down on top of him first.

“What are you doing?” I half-squeal, half-laugh. JJ then rolls us both over so that his body weight is practically crushing me, and he slips my phone out of my hand.

“Are we dancing to Doja Cat? What’s the game plan?”

“I already have a sound picked out! Get off me.” He laughs and then blindly tosses my phone at me.

“Ow, my boob. You nailed me right in the titty, JJ!” I wail dramatically as he laughs even harder. Rolling over to get to a seated position, I pull up the audio from the videos I’ve been watching all morning and my hands begin to shake. I prop my phone up on the open box of Cheez-Its we’ve been snacking out of and the countdown to the music seals my fate. As the video is already recording, JJ looks at me confused.

“What are we supposed to do for this sound?”

“It’s about us being best friends so just pretend to like me for a minute.” I forgot JJ’s service payment was late and he’s been out of signal for a couple weeks so he has no idea what this trend is. That should be a relief but my anxiety convinces me that that’s somehow worse.

The beat is about to drop.

“I’ll try but I can’t promise I’ll be that good of an act-” before JJ can finish his sentence, I gently gripped his jaw and very lightly pressed my lips to his. He doesn’t kiss back immediately, probably due to shock. All of a sudden, my nerves get the better of me and I pull away before he can register what’s happening.

When I open my eyes, JJ is already looking at me in surprise. His eyes are wide and his jaw is dropped but I can tell he’s biting back a smile. He then turns to the camera and bellows a loud,

“YEEESSS!” Before standing up and flexing like Shia LaBeouf in the ‘just do it’ meme. He looks back at me and screams again, which makes me laugh even harder. The exhilaration hasn’t worn off in the slightest and JJ squishes my cheeks together in both of his hands, before pressing his lips to mine once more. The kiss deepens and is filled with ten times the passion of before, and then he pulls away grinning bigger than I’ve ever seen in my life.

The memory is one I’ll treasure forever because that day was the start of the rest of our lives. Slipping my right foot into my white shoe, I stand up to look into the vanity mirror in front of me. My hair is styled to perfection, my makeup is exactly the way I like it, and my dress compliments my figure in all the right places. I look so beautiful I almost don’t recognize myself.

Then, a knock at the door pulls me from my self-induced stupor.

“Come in,” I call as I see Sarah and Wheezie have already entered without waiting for a response.

“Oh my gosh you look gorgeous, Y/n,” Sarah sighs and I can see tears welling up in her eyes.

“No, don’t cry yet. The ceremony hasn’t started and you’re gonna make me cry!” I say which makes the three of us laugh. After a brief moment of adoring silence, I take each of their hands and we stand in a huddle, just us three girls, for what’ll be the last time as bachelorette-sisters.

“You don’t wanna be late for your special day, so we need to go,” Wheezie ushers us out the door and into the common area of the townhouse used for Midsummers. Outside on the lawn I see what feels like the entirety of the outer banks, all seated in identical white chairs, facing the water where an arch decorated with white tulle flutters in the wind. Underneath it, I see JJ in a suit that, without a doubt, doesn’t belong to him. He looks so handsome in black. A red rose is pinned to his jacket to match the bouquet in my shaking hands. I feel as nervous as the day we first kissed.

With Sarah on my left arm, Wheezie on my right, and Fallin’ All in You by Shawn Mendes playing softly throughout the courtyard, everything feels perfect. I have my twin and my baby sister ready to give me away to marriage. How could anyone ask for more?

The adoring eyes of family members and friends alike, lift me to cloud nine and I feel as if I’m floating down the aisle. Once I reach JJ, my sisters step to my left side, and JJ and I turn to face our officiant. He begins officiating our marriage, but JJ and I talk under him anyway.

“You’re lookin’ hot in that dress, babe.”

“Four hours. That’s all you get.”

“That’s fine. I prefer you in sweats and my shirts anyway.”

***

A/N: I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. College apps snuck up on me and made writing not fun for a bit but I think I'm back? Anywho, THIS TOOK A TURN. Lmao I was like haha tek tauk chAllleimge and suddenly ur at the altar. Crazy how life works huh?

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

it’s work in progress wednesday so here’s a little goodfoe one shot that i can’t decide if i like and is mostly just me exploring leah and shelby’s relationship. also there’s some religion in there that i’m sure i fucked up.

Shelby doesn’t remember the dream, but she wakes to Toni’s arm thrown over her, reaching for Shelby’s phone as she attempts to hit the snooze alarm.

She spends most of the morning feeling queasy, a little nauseous, as Toni spends most of the morning exchanging grunts with her and muddling through coffee. It’s half past nine when Toni is awake enough, presses her arms around Shelby, kisses her neck. Toni’s arms have always, instinctively, made Shelby relax, like her body knows it’s safe.

Her skin feels like its falling off in awful flakes and she can barely breathe when she pushes Toni away.

“Um—”

“Would you give me some space? Jesus Christ, I can’t have a minute to myself?”

“Uh—” Toni reaches out a hand and Shelby finds herself in a corner, rock and a hard place, burning up.

“Don’t touch me!”

Toni flinches, “I just—”

Shelby pushes past her, eight steps to the bathroom in this tiny damned apartment, and upchucks in the toilet.

“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

She is only spitting up bile now, Toni is calling her name. The door is locked.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

She’s trapped, she’s trapped, she’s trapped. She made the wrong choice, everything is falling apart, her skin is flaking off.

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”

Shelby leans against the wall, closes her eyes as she feels her stomach gracefully settle, now empty. The bitter taste along her mouth lingers, and she doesn’t realize she’s praying.

“For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.” And ever. And ever. And ever.

She is trapped here, and it’s ruined.

The pounding at the door has stopped, Shelby gets to her feet.

Toni almost falls through the door when Shelby opens it, her eyes are wide and red rimmed.

“I’m going out,” Shelby tells her. “Don’t follow me.”

“Shelby wait—”

The apartment is so small Toni doesn’t have time to finish her sentence before Shelby makes a jailbreak, she’s wearing house shoes, and it’s freezing outside but what should she expect it’s Minnesota?

God, what in the world is she doing in a tiny ass town in rural Minnesota?

Her skin is baked, she’s so hot, it’s flaking off, joining that mushy gray slush on the ground that Toni told her will stick around through March.

“Hey girl hey! You’re on speakerphone with Dot in the car, because I am driving because that is all you fuckin do in LA,” Fatin answered on the first ring.

“My skin is flaking off,” Shelby says. And then, to specify, “I can’t breathe and I’m dying and it’s too hot and I think my fingers are turning blue.”

“Hey, breathe with me okay, it’s going to be—”

Shelby hangs up.

The entire world is falling apart, she’s trapped and she’s nothing, and she’s going to die and die alone for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and

“Hey,” Leah picks up on the fifth ring.

“Leah,” Shelby sobs, the name a prayer, a lifeline. “It’s ruined, everything is ruined, I’m trapped and my skin is flaking off and I’m dying and I can’t breathe and—and—and—and—”

Someone sobbing interrupts her and she’s relieved to realize it’s not Leah.

“Are you around anything sharp?” Leah asks.

Shelby blinks, she looks around, “No.”

“What about a body of water?”

“No.”

“Any motor ways?”

“Maybe a five minute walk?”

“Okay, are you sitting?”

Shelby nods, realizes Leah can’t see that, “Yes.”

“You need to stand up,” Shelby stands. “Stand in the opposite direction of the road, and start walking.” Shelby starts walking. “Your skin isn’t falling off, you aren’t dying, you’re breathing, nothing is ruined, you aren’t trapped.”

“My skin isn’t falling off, I’m not dying, I’m breathing, nothing is ruined, I’m not trapped.”

“Stop running,” Leah tells her and Shelby hadn’t realized she had started. “Nothing is chasing you.”

“Nothing is chasing me.”

She doesn’t believe the words but she and Leah have played this game before, the only way to win is by playing the game again, some different day.

“Did I wake you up? The time difference—I always forget.”

“No,” Leah says. “I haven’t slept since I got the restraining order.”

Shelby nods. “I want that man in prison for you, Leah.”

“I know you do.” And every time someone says something like that to her it always sounds like Leah comes a little closer to believing the sentiment herself.

Shelby is still walking, she might walk until her feet hurt, or her bad ankle feels like it wants to fall off.

“Was it a nightmare?” Leah asks.

“You know I still pray,” Shelby says. “I prayed so often for so long it’s like—it’s instinct, it’s like my brain just goes there when I’m struggling like a reflex. Only sometimes I’ll be praying and repeating the words and I don’t even believe them. And I’m just sitting there in my prayer wondering where the hell I go from here. Maybe I do go to hell.”

Leah hums.

“I don’t think I’m okay, Leah,” Shelby confides. “I still felt safer than I ever have on that damn island.”

“I hate my therapist, I hate that it’s working, that I don’t obsess over things in the same way, that I can feel myself changing and I’m afraid of this new person. At least I knew who I was on the island.”

“That’s not who you are,” Shelby argues. “This is who you are. This person, who I’m talking to right now.”

Leah is quiet for a long time, she always is. She always plans her words a million years in advance, especially during these calls.

“Do you really feel trapped?”

Shelby wants to cry again, “No.”

“What do you feel?”

“Like I’m on the edge of a cliff and I don’t know which side is solid ground.”

“Was it a nightmare?” Leah asks again, because neither let the other get away with anything for very long.

“I think so.”

“You’re not gonna die if you fall off the cliff,” Leah tells her. Shelby swallows hard. “I’m telling the truth.”

“You promise?”

“Train wrecks unite,” Leah tells her. “Now call Toni.”

She hangs up, and Shelby opens her phone to a million missed calls from everyone. She blocks them all and calls Toni.

“Hey,” Her voice is breathless. “Where are you?”

Shelby looks around, “I don’t—” her voice breaks, she tries to muffle a sob, “Toni, I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, hey that’s okay. I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Toni keeps talking to her as Shelby hears her leave the apartment, start the pickup they bought from Martha’s mom for cheap, drive down that old highway with the potholes from the winter the city refuses to acknowledge. There’s some breaking of branches, before Toni is behind her. Toni comes up slow but Shelby falls into her, terrified.

“I’m sorry.”

She’s shaking in Toni’s arms and Toni just tightens up on her,

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done—

“Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst person on the planet,” Shelby whispers, “just for loving you. Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating God, just because I’m happy. Sometimes I feel like there is no God and I’ve been cheated, and whoever I am just crumbles into nothing. I don’t know if I am anyone anymore, I don’t know why you’re with me.”

—on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

“I feel like the whole world is spinning on one axis, and I’m spinning on the other,” Shelby finishes.

Toni finally pulls away, hands still on Shelby’s biceps, Shelby still shaking under them.

“I’m with you because I love you,” Toni says. “What else is there?”

And there’s nothing else, is there?

When it all was stripped away, their hygiene and the fluoride in their water supply, their history and their secrets and their family and their responsibilities to everything but basic survival—all that was left was love. Love for each other, and their lives back home, and for the dead, and the world, and a hundred other things they hadn’t loved since they were little. Like the way the sky looks just before sunset, or the way it smells after it rains, and chocolate chip cookies their mom made for them after they got home from school. Like old people struggling to carry their grocery bags, or the kids with cancer when those ads came on the TV to donate, or the homeless man that always smiled at them.

That was all that was left, that love. And the love for each other.

There is no intrinsic reason why Shelby should love Dot and Fatin, or Rachel or Leah. There is no reason why she should love Nora and Martha. There is no reason why she should love her parents, her siblings. There is no reason why she should love Becca Gilroy.

There is no reason why she should love Toni Shalifoe.

But there is a reason, isn’t there? She loves Toni because she loves her.

Maybe Leah was right, that falling off a cliff won’t kill her. That’s faith isn’t it? Trust, blindly, openly, love because you love.

“I can’t walk home,” Shelby says. “My ankle it—”

“I’ve got you,” Toni says.

She does.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Band Sessions: Jae

Pairing: Jae Park x reader

Genre: best friends to lovers au / band au / fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 2037

Index: Jae | Sungjin | Young K | Wonpil | Dowoon 

The band’s studio space had become more than just a home for the multitude of cords that attached to equipment and instruments cluttering up two-thirds of the room. It was a designated hang out most days. The five members of Day6 would practice their music, eat meals, share ideas, cram in study sessions and even sleep there.

You were no different, given you had tasked yourself with becoming their manager ever since they won at Band Beats last month. Before that, you had only gone by the title of Jae’s childhood best friend, although to him, usually dubbed the annoying thorn in his side.

“Must you follow me around everywhere I go?” Jae whined as you shut the door to the studio behind him, throwing down his backpack beside one of the couches that resided along the long wall. Ignoring his complaint, you slumped down on the couch and retrieved your phone.

“Someone has to make sure you actually get some practice done.”

“I’m offended, what did you think I was going to do after coming here?”

Smirking lazily, you didn’t lift your eyes from the social media app you were scrolling through. “Game.”

“I would never!” Jae announced dramatically, and you arched one of your eyebrows as he let out a preposterous laugh. “Unless you’re keen to?”

“Jae!”

“Fine, okay, I will practice. God, I liked it better when you were just the friend who came to cheer us on.”

“I am still the friend cheering you on. Encouraging you forward to improve at your skill so when you go to regionals later this year, you win.”

“Is it all about winning for you?” he grumbled and you grinned as you confirmed a venue for the band to play at in two weeks time that you had been organising for the past couple of days.

Putting down your phone, you finally gave Jae your full attention. “Don’t you want to?”

“I’m just having fun with my friends playing in a university band. I can’t even guarantee I’m going to wake up on time for my lectures most mornings, let alone pull off a riff awe-inducing enough to take home another trophy.”

“Well, there’s no better time than the present to start working on that,” you stated with a bright smile, gesturing for Jae to pick up his guitar. He rolled his eyes and then collected the instrument, bringing it over to the couch and sitting down beside you. Nudging his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, Jae then positioned the guitar more comfortably, mindlessly strumming through some exercises to warm up.

You smiled, even if he talked a lot, Jae was more dedicated to his craft that he would ever admit.

You were able to get through some of your assignments whilst Jae practised. You had grown up with him playing his guitar in every situation that you found yourself more productive whenever he was around doing just that, relaxed by the tunes he would play. Two hours had easily passed by with you working and Jae strumming just like that, both completely engrossed in your own tasks. Shifting a little to remove your cardigan, you tried to return to your studies, reaching blindly for your water.

It was getting hot in here.

“Jae,” you called, your eyes nor hands tearing away from your laptop. He didn’t answer. “Jae!”

“What?”

“Open the window behind you,” you instructed and he grunted in response. You soon forgot your request, and when you realised there was still no air circulating around the room, you finally shifted your gaze. Jae was fully immersed in his intricate music and the window behind him was firmly shut.

You groaned and turned sideways towards him. “Jaehyung!”

“Oh what?!” he cried back, lifting his eyes to yours indignantly. You slapped his arm and he gaped at you. “What are you hitting me for?!”

“I asked you to open the window like forty minutes ago! It’s hot in here!”

“I’m fine,” he retorted, going back to playing.

Clamping your eyes shut to push away your growing annoyance at his dismissal of your request, you reopened them and placed your laptop aside before getting onto your knees, stretching towards the latch on the window.

However, Jae was directly in the way.

“Move.”

“I’m busy.”

“I need to open the window.”

“So stretch around me, I’ve just stumbled into something good,” Jae retorted, leaning forward a little, his only compromise to the current situation. Huffing out a breath, you leaned further, your fingers brushing over the latch. You managed to twist it after half standing up on the couch, pushing the window out wide.

You promptly lost your balance in the process.

The sudden screech to the guitar was all that filled the air once you landed haphazardly in Jae’s lap, his instrument the only thing between both of you right now. You had attempted to reach out to stabilise your failing balance, hands now resting on his shoulders, your leg bent weirdly underneath you over one of his thighs.

You should have been able to right yourself immediately. Chuckle it off with your best friend as you had done many a time when either of you had been clumsy like this. However, it felt as if time has stopped entirely. As you stared into Jae’s round eyes that showed the surprise scratched deeply within them, you couldn’t stop the feeling that you were sinking.

Sinking in his gaze, into his lap further, into his heart. Or at least, your heart sure was falling despite how still your bodies had become.

It wasn’t often when you felt like this, but you could admit it wasn’t the first time. Somewhere you had fallen in love with all the nagging banter, the flippant remarks and his soulful singing voice. That was why you hung around at the studio these days, and why, despite having a full academic year, you had opted to help promote the band.

You yearned for those moments where he’d stop being the awkward meme kid from next door and reach into your soul with every breath he made at the end of his lines, his lyrics and voice melding into one.

And yet, Jae hadn’t been singing all afternoon. You had no reason to be this affected and you finally blinked, slowly at first. Realisation dawned on you that it had been over a minute of you sitting in his lap like this and you laughed airily, trying to dislodge the intense feelings you had been drowning within.

“Oh!” you exclaimed with another airy laugh. “Whoops.”

“Whoops?” Jae echoed softly, scrutinising you with his unwavering stare.

“I’m okay!” you announced, still laughing, albeit sounding a little desperate now. You also needed more air than what the window was gently blowing into the room. “Thanks for catching my fall.”

You removed your hands from his shoulders and it was only then that you realised his own were at your waist, holding you upright. It had all happened so quickly, you didn’t even notice that he had actually saved you from slipping further. But unlike your retreat, Jae’s hands remained on your sides, the pressure digging deeper. You bit at your lip, wondering why he had saved you when his precious guitar was between you and could have been at risk.

You gasped with the thought process. “Is your guitar-”

“Are you okay?” he intervened and you nodded softly. “Really? You look like you’re about to cry. Your skin is turning blotchy.”

Trust Jae to kill the mood. Yanking free, you put space between you and him, taking in a deep breath. You were surprised to see Jae do the same, your eyes narrowing on him slightly.

What was he affected by?

“Practice,” you blurted out, waving your arms about at him. “You need to practice.”

“When do I get to do it for real?” he asked and your head snapped back in his direction, your mind more than frazzled now.

“Do what for real?”

“What will all this practice do for us, Y/N?” he repeated, his eyes firmly attached to yours. “I want to know when the real deal is going to come along for us.”

“Well, regionals is-”

“Us,” Jae reiterated, placing his guitar down on the space you had once been seated at. Standing up, he walked to where you stood; licking his lips a little to moisten them.

You cursed the giant somersault your stomach did in reaction to such a simple action.

“Us?” you said, and Jae nodded. “What about us? I’m not in the band.”

“We came before the band,” he stated, nodding along with his statement. “We existed before it.”

“What riddles are you talking about?” you breathed uncomfortably, tearing your gaze away from Jae’s. You really had no idea. Or, you didn’t want to believe in it.

It was better that way.

“I saved what was more important to me just now,” Jae told you and you turned once again back to his face. He was hesitant despite speaking about what was on his mind. As if he had held back one too many times now. It surprised you, and you sighed quietly, shaking your head.

“I could have broken your guitar.”

“I could have fixed it,” he replied and you blinked rapidly.

“You love your guitar!”

“I love you too,” he murmured, stilling once the words were out. Except for the pink tinge to his ears, he seemed unaffected. Jae then smiled with relief. “Did you hear me?”

“I think I did.”

“I love you too,” he told you again, this time with more conviction. There was no way to hide your growing smile, soon grinning at each other.

And then Jae whined. “Why aren’t you telling me back?!”

“Huh?”

“I said I love you! You’re supposed to say it back if you feel that way too!” he explained, voice laced with accusation. His eyes popped behind his glasses. “You don’t feel the same?!”

“Of course I do, you idiot!”

“Then say it!”

“I can’t just say it on the spot, Jae!” you complained, moving to go around him. However, he pulled you back in front.

“I just did!”

“Well, good for you, I’m feeling under pressure about it now!” you grumbled and Jae chuckled, tugging you with him as he returned to the couch. You squeaked when he yanked you down onto his lap, his smile mischievous.

“So let’s go back to this then.”

“You’re feeling too good right now,” you observed and Jae nodded.

“I told you how I feel. It’s kind of liberating, you should try it.”

“Nice try, Jae.”

“So I need to keep trying?” he murmured, brushing your hair back from your face, his smile growing. “Dude, you are so much work.”

“You can’t tell me you love me and then call me dude!” you said exasperatedly and Jae shrugged.

“It’s me, Y/N. Some things might be changing between us, but I’m not going to change.”

“Fair call,” you responded, your hands finding their way to his chest. Jae watched you intently, his ears turning pink again. “Oh! This is a new thing about you.”

“So some things might change about me,” he confirmed, leaning his face closer to yours. “I might be inclined to do things like this more often.”

You frowned. “What, have me sit in your lap whilst we’re in the studio together?”

“Nah,” he breathed, his mouth dangerously close to yours now. “More than that.”

Finally, he kissed you. It was soft, barely moving. Your eyes fluttered shut as you pressed into his lips, seeking more from him. Jae responded, pulling you into his upper body, supporting your weight against his chest as he anchored a hand at the back of your head, soon kissing you with demand.

You were seeing stars when you finally pulled away, galaxies forming behind your eyes. When you finally looked at your best friend, you grinned at him. “I love you, Jae.”

“What was that? I barely heard you.”

“I. Love. You.”

He smiled possibly the best smile you had ever seen graced his lips in your entire existence. And then he kissed you again briefly. “Now that’s more like it.”

_________________

Next: Sungjin

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[shushushleep]

A Broken Heart And A Spotless Mind (Series)

Hi, this is my first ever fic and I apologize for my grammatical errors, English isn’t my first language…Hope you like it.

B!D and Lena where Lena confronts B!D about lying to her about Kara being Supergirl but the thing is B!D just like Alex had her mind wiped by J’onn so that she could protect Kara.

Word Count: 1725 Warnings: Angst and Violence

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 

“Kara...Kara Danvers? My sister? Babe you must be kidding me.” You were shocked and you let out a chuckle thinking that Lena is pranking you or something but at the same time you’re confused because of her stern facial expression, “(Y/N), Don’t lie to me” Her green emerald eyes begins to water she’s also confused if you’re playing her and taking her for a fool. “GET OUT (Y/N)!” Her voice is firm “Lena, babe I don’t understand! I would never lie to you” Now your eyes starts to water still confused about the things that Lena accused you and your sisters especially Kara and the whole super friends lying to her. A moment ago you were so giddy and excited to see your girlfriend but then as you entered her apartment you can see that all of her lights are off so you wander until you saw a dim light in the hallway coming from Lena’s bedroom you walked towards it but then you heard a glass shattering so you come running then you found her sitting on the floor, puffy eyes and a half bottle of one of her expensive scotch, you approach her but all she did was to be cold and distant you. “Lena please talk to me, darling please.” Lena looked at you, caressing your cheek and you lean on her hand and she looked you in eye. “You are such a good liar, you are so convincing you know, you made me believed that a Luthor like me is worth loving, but all you ever did was to betray me and treat me like an outsider.” She let’s go of you and turns away from you and as she looks at her window.

“(Y/N), Get out now, or else I have to call security!” You were taken aback you were so confused about why Lena is acting like this but before you go,  you muttered something to your girlfriend, “Lena, I didn’t know what I’ve done wrong, but I wouldn’t lie to you and please remember that.” You look back from the doorway expecting her hug, her running to come back to you or an apology from her but nothing. So you head for the main door to leave her apartment, as you close the door you tears start to fall as you walk to the elevator then as you exit the building, you don’t want to go to your apartment just yet, you wanted to clear your mind so you started walking blindly not knowing where your feet are taking you, a few walks later you ended up in the park, you sat on the bench and then began sobbing uncontrollably, good thing it was night and no one can see you being a total mess. A little later you began to calm down but your eyes still blurry so you began to walk towards to your apartment but as you walk, you hear screeching tires then all of the sudden a black van stopped in front of you and then a man grabbed you and knocks you out...

The next day was game night at J’onn’s place, your sisters, Kara and Alex began to prepare the games and snacks, while J’onn had to run some errands. “Hey where’s (Y/N)?” Asked Alex because it seems unusual of you to not help them to prepare during game night because you love to setting the games and it has always been your routine to prepare a bizarre food combination made out of the snacks that Kara has picked out, like flamin’ cheetos with milk or PB&J with hot fries and other odd food combinations that you’ve conjured. “Oh she texted me last night that she’ll surprise Lena or something and she didn’t come home, so...” Your oldest sister covers her ears “Ok, you don’t have to finish your sentence I get it. It’s just not like her to not answer my calls.” Alex notices that Kara was quiet for some time and seems like something’s bothering her “Alex, I think it’s time to tell Lena about me being Supergirl.” Alex looked at her curiously “And how are you planning to do that? Without (Y/N) finding out?” Kara grabs the nearest chair and sits on it and rubs her temple. “I don’t know how long I could keep doing this to Lena not to mention (Y/N), I miss the little things we do.” Alex remembers those ridiculously things that you do with Kara whenever you two are bored “Like when she throws a popcorn seed and you using your laser vision to make popcorn in the air?” Kara chuckles at that memory “Yeah those little things or when she randomly tips herself over and I catch her every time she falls...” Kara sighs “I miss her so much it pains me to see her like that... her not remembering that I am Supergirl.” The red head puts a comforting hand to the heroine’s back to comfort her. “Hey, her memories will come back, just like mine did...We just have to wait for it to come back to her and if you want to tell it to Lena then I’ll distract our baby sister with something shiny or a candy or whatever Nia and Brainy could do to distract her.” Kara lets a little sigh and gave her a weak smile. An hour passes by and it’s almost eight o’ clock the usual time that Game Night starts. Nia, Brainy, and Kelly are already there and they’ve already started the game, your best friend Nia noticed that you haven’t annoyed or forced her to eat one of your odd food combos, “Hey Kara, is (Y/N) going to attend tonight? Because I’ve been practicing my mortal kombat skills and I’m ready to kick her butt” Nia chuckles but Kara looked back to Alex because they’re now having a feeling that something is a bit off but then someone entered, they look at the person who have just entered the living room, it’s Lena who brought two wine bottles. “Hey, there she is. All we need to wait is for James and (Y/N).” J’onn said but Lena quickly stopped at her tracks by the mention of your name then Kara approached her to hug her with a wine glass at hand then she said that she has something really important to tell her but then Alex just came out from the bathroom and notice Lena but without you and her stomach starts to tingle a little bit with worry but she brushes it of so she came over to greet the black-haired woman. “Lena, hi so glad you could make it.” She hugs the her “Well…It’s been awhile since the last game night because we’re all busy to stop my psychotic brother.” Lena chuckles a little bit and it became silent for a second but then Alex breaks the silence and shifts the topic. “So…Is (Y/N) going to be here any minute?” Lena suddenly froze because for the first time she doesn’t know what to say or how to say it, her mind is debating between her saying that you and her were not in speaking terms if not a breakup then scream at everyone and especially to Kara for lying to her about her identity or to suck all the pain up for just this night, this last night because she didn’t know if she can handle them lying to her face to face, especially Kara. “About that… (Y/N)..” Before she even blurts out the truth about your current situation her phone rings and it’s from an unknown number. “I think you should answer that, It seems urgent because who would’ve call at a Friday night.” Kara says. Lena excuses herself and she goes to the balcony to have some privacy.

“Hello, who is this? My office hours are already finished so you can just send the message to my assistant on Monday morning.” She puts on her Business voice but then her mood changes the voice that she heard from the other side of the phone sends shivers down to her spine. “Lena Luthor. Just the person who I was looking for, took me seventy calls before you picked it up.” Henshaw smirks “What do you want!” Lena’s voice slightly breaks. “Oh Lena, it’s not what we want, it’s about what YOU want dear.” That voice she recognize that voice anywhere, that all too familiar voice of Lillian Luthor. “What do you mean? I don’t anything to do with you .” Lena’s voice hints with anger “Oh I know, but you would anyway because I have something that you treasure the most.” Lena was hit by the realization that even though you broke her heart she can’t ignore or hide the fact that she still loves you even though she’s pushing it out the way. “Where’s (Y/N)?!” On the other side of the room Brainy received a some kind of link from his DEO tablet then he notifies Alex about it then all of then suddenly stopped playing monopoly then Alex turn on J’onn’s TV so they can watch it but then after the Brainy pressed the video they we’re all shocked and Alex, Kara, Nia and J’onn are now tearing up they can’t believe in what they are now seeing from the screen it was a video of you tied up from a chair badly beaten, with bruises and all and a blood on your lips. Lena re-enters the room then she saw you in the video. She dropped her wine glass then it shattered at the impact from the floor everyone looked at her, her eyes can’t stop the tears from falling as she looks at the screen. Then in the video Lillian began to speak. “Give me the Lead Dispersing Device and the Isotope within twenty-four hours, in exchange for your beloved little Danvers.” Lillian holds your chin. “And oh no tricks this time…Or else this will be the last time you’ll see (Y/N) Danvers breathing. Don’t keep me waiting…” The video ended Kara has now somehow clench her hand in anger and her teeth can break through a steal with anger, Alex on the other hand is cursing on the other side of the corner and throws a punch at the nearest wall and Nia’s tears start to fall again.

[3rachanstuff]

Sugar, spice, and everything nice

GROUP: Stray Kids MEMBER: 3racha (Bang Chan, Changbin, Han) PAIRING: 3racha x reader GENRE: Smut WARNINGS: Unprotected sex, blindfolding, rough sex, orgasm denial, anal sex, double penetration, face fucking, slight D/s dynamics, a bit of dirty talk. WORDCOUNT:~6.2k

•·················•·················•

Hanging out with 3racha is always entertaining. You never know what you will end up doing. Sometimes you end up playing some video game, taking turns to beat each other. Some other times you play boardgames, even though you rarely ever get to finish the game. Sometimes, when you know you will be sleeping over, you watch a movie or two. There are only two constants–You always start the day watching them make music, and there is always some flirting involved. It’s not really serious, it’s usually more joking than anything else. An easy back and forth that you never pay much attention to because it always follows the same formula. You will flirt with one of them, who will respond. Then, another one of them will try to outflirt the previous one, and so on. It is never really serious. Or at least, it had never been. Nothing could have prepared you for the one time that it was.

The day had started as any other Sunday. You had slept in a bit, had a late breakfast, got ready, and set off to meet 3racha for lunch. They were waiting for you on a cozy café near your apartment. They had already ordered a latte and your favourite sandwich, as usual. After that, you went to the studio they had borrowed in the JYP building. It was then that things started going a bit differently. Halfway through lunch you had started a conversation about sex that had continued on the way to the JYP building, and that was only getting even more explicit and specific behind closed doors. It was not the first time you discussed those themes, far from it, but it was the first time that you did for so long, and so in depth. And it was definitely the first time that your harmless flirting felt real.

“So what you mean to say is that you would be able to take all three of us at once?” You rolled your eyes at Jisung. It was the third time you tried to explain it to him.

At some point, you had moved from your usual chair to the empty space of the desk to be closer to Changbin and him, who were sitting on the couch. Changbin was looking at you two, amused at the turn the conversation had taken.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean to say.” The two of them were looking at you incredulously. “Stop looking at me like that, I never said I wouldn’t be wrecked afterwards. But still, I would be able to.”

“I don’t know, it sounds like a bluff to me. What do you think, guys?”

“Look at her, I think she knows what she’s talking about. I would trust her.” Changbin spoke up for the first time since you had arrived to the studio. Chris was still paying more attention to the music he was working on than the three of you.

“That’s right. Thank you, Changbin. I mean, I have never tried three at once, but I know men well enough to know I could.”

Changbin couldn’t help but laugh at that, covering his face with his hand. Jisung decided to ignore it.

“Then maybe you should try it to be sure. You may be surprised.”

Changbin wasn’t even trying to stifle his laugh anymore. Tears were running down his face and he was laughing so hard that no sound came out. You could have sworn you saw Chris cracking a smile, but it wasn’t possible. You knew his headphones isolated all the outside noises.

“What are you laughing at? That you don’t last shit doesn’t mean anything.”

You were trying hard not to imagine it. You really were. They were your friends. You crossed your legs as subtly as you could, feeling rather than noticing Chris’ eyes on you as you did. Jisung and Changbin, who had managed to stop laughing, also seemed to notice something weird.

The atmosphere had changed. Chris wasn’t even trying to pretend he was not listening. The three of them were looking at you. They thought you wouldn’t notice the look they shared, but you did.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That look.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Jisung. I know what I’ve seen.”

“Alright, alright. I was just thinking it may not be such a bad idea. Like, at all.”

You crossed your legs even tighter, looking at the three of them one by one. They couldn’t be serious. It didn’t work like that between you. It would be an experience worth living, and you had definitely thought about it once or twice before, but it could not be happening. You stared at Changbin, hoping he would talk some sense into the younger. Instead, all you got was a wink and a lip bite. Great. Maybe they were right. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

Chris, who had finally removed his headphones, stood up from his office chair and stopped directly in front of you. You tried not to notice the obvious bulge in the front of his pants. Yes, it was as big as you had imagined.

“I’m down if you are, babygirl.” Your eyes widened at his words. “It’s time to stop pretending, don’t you think?”

You were speechless. Of course, you would lie if you said you had never considered it. But it had been just that, a thought. On the other hand, it was obvious that the conversation had affected you, all of you, much more than you could have anticipated. It was time to make a choice. No hesitation.

“Count me in.”

Before you had even finished talking, Chris lifted you on his arms as if you weighed nothing and crashed his lips against yours. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. The way he kissed you as if it were the only thing he had ever wanted to do was intoxicating. His hands felt hot on the back of your thighs. You tried to push yourself closer, not that it was possible. He broke the kiss as suddenly as he had started it.

“Now, now babygirl. Shouldn’t we give Changbin and Jisung the chance to have some fun too? It would be no good if I wrecked you before they could even get a taste.”

He lowered you on Changbin’s lap. You straddled his hips and dived right in for a kiss. They were wrong if they thought you wouldn’t try to take control. Changbin’s kiss was different, somewhat gentler, but not less urgent than Chris’. You ground your hips down and moaned when you felt his boner. You reached for his belt blindly, not breaking the kiss. It was a tough task, but within a couple of minutes you had managed to undo his belt and open his jeans. Taking them off was proving to be a bit more of a challenge, though. Changbin’s lips were roaming freely, down your neck and all over your collarbones, leaving small marks here and there. You gave up on the pants and took off his shirt instead. Jisung was getting tired of waiting, so he stood and tugged your dress up. You lifted your arms and let him take it off. When the dress was out of the way, he slid his hands from your lower back up to your breasts, grabbing them firmly as he bit your neck over the marks you already had. Changbin licked a stripe from your belly button up to your throat before pushing you off into Jisung’s arms. Before you could fully register what was happening, he took off his pants and boxers in one move. Jisung pushed you into the spot Changbin had left free. Chris appeared from behind him, naked except for his boxers, and knelt in front of you.

“You better not regret now, babygirl, or things will get awkward.” You just nodded once as you felt his breath on your skin. He ran his lips slowly up your thigh, never breaking eye contact with you. It felt like too much all at once, so you lifted your gaze away from him, only to meet Changbin’s hungry eyes on you. You reached for him blindly, hoping he would do something other than look. He didn’t disappoint, pressing his lips to yours on a sloppy kiss while his hand traveled down your body, getting closer to your hip. Chris took his hand and moved it to your breast. He turned his attention back to you, grabbing the lace of your panties with his teeth and sliding them down your body. Changbin made an appreciative noise from behind you, sliding his hand back down, even lower than last time. Suddenly, you felt the couch dipping under Jisung’s weight near your leg. You turned to look at him. He had stripped down to his boxers, still too many clothes for your taste. You took the chance to pull them down when he leaned on top of you. He seemed to get the hint and got rid of them before leaning in and, finally, kissing you. They were driving you crazy. Changbin was biting your neck all over while his hand moved up and down your groin. Chris was teasing you, licking your inner thigh and making sure to avoid your privates. Jisung was laying half on top on you, kissing you breathless while you pulled him closer, desperate  for some contact.

“Please.” You could barely recognise your voice, so high and needy. The three laughed.

“Please what, babygirl? Say it.” He looked at you smirking and bit your thigh, higher than he had ever gone. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips.

Time seemed to stop for a second, and then, all of a sudden, everything started moving again. Changbin slid your hand down Jisung’s body from where it was until you wrapped your hand around his dick, causing him to bite your lip. You cried out when you felt Chris’ lips back on the lower part of your thigh, teasing you even further. Changbin, though, was a different story. His hand had moved right above your clit the moment you had moaned. All it took was a pleading look for him to start touching you. You moaned again into Jisung’s mouth, making him shiver. You put your free hand on Chris’ head, trying to get him to move closer. All you got was a chuckle and a small slap on the side of your leg.

“Don’t be impatient, my babygirl. What would be the fun if I just gave you what you want right away?”

You whined. It wasn’t fair. Two could play that game, and if there was something that Chris knew, it was that you were almost as competitive as him. Instead of begging as he expected you turned your attention fully to Changbin, holding on to his wrist and letting out small moans mixed with his name. It didn’t take a genius to see it was working the way you wanted. Barely a few seconds later, Chris slapped Changbin’s hand away with a grunt. He shoved his hands under your thighs and pulled you closer to him, startling Jisung, who was still on top of you. Before even giving you time to react, he started eating you out. It was a lot to take in with so little time to adjust. The first, and only, coherent thought you could form was that he definitely knew what he was doing. He was holding you tight enough to leave a mark, but it felt far from painful. His mouth was working wonders, making you feel things you didn’t even know you could feel. Every once in a while, he stopped to nibble your thigh, or to kiss you wherever he could reach, but he never stopped long enough for the feeling to lose intensity. Even though it felt so good, you still needed more. All the touches where a little too brief, all the kisses felt too short. He was doing it on purpose. He was making sure to give you something to remember the next time you decided to challenge him. It was both the best and worst punishment he could have chosen. Your moans had become whines. You kept trying to talk, but no words came out. “What’s up, babygirl? Cat got your tongue?” His mocking tone was driving you up the wall; it was the sexiest he had ever sounded. You kept whining, trying to tell him to give you more. “Tell me what you want, use your words.”

“Please.” It was halfway between a plea and a moan.

“Please what?”

“M-more.”

“Still not enough, I’m going to need more persuading.” You felt like crying. It was so frustrating to deal with him like this. His hands were still on your thighs, squeezing every now and then as if to remind you he was still there. His breath was hot on your skin, but very far from where you needed it at that moment. His voice went lower when he spoke again. “Say my name.”

You didn’t even hesitate to do as he said. As soon as his name left your lips, he went back to eating you out. This time, it was different. It felt even better than before. He knew exactly how to work his tongue to make you scream his name. Not like you had stopped moaning it, though. Ever since he had told you to say his name, it was all you could do. If he kept this up, you would be having the first orgasm of the night way earlier than you expected. The harder you tried to hold back, the more he did, almost as if he knew what you were trying to do. You knew you were lost when he took one of his hands away from the back of your thigh and started running it up and down your inner thigh, a little further up with each caress. Then, suddenly, everything stopped.

“FUCK”

“I’m sorry, my babygirl, but you can’t finish this soon. Don’t worry though.” He kissed your lips sweetly. “We have all night.” After that, he disappeared from your sight.

Jisung took his place between your legs. You wondered when he had moved from beside you. He had some type of silky ribbon on his hand. Before you could ask what he was going to do with it, he had already put it over your eyes and tied it. He ran his hands down your body, making you squirm under his hands. After that, he was gone. You felt the cold air all over your body.

“This” Changbin’s voice was getting closer to you. Suddenly, he slapped your thighs. “Is gonna be so fun.”

You had gone from feeling cold to feeling all the heat radiating off of Changbin’s body. You could also feel his thighs keeping yours apart. His hands moved from your thighs to your butt and pulled you closer to him. As he was doing that, you felt someone else’s hands wrapping around your wrists and pulling your arms up, pinning you down to the couch. Changbin’s dick was rubbing up against you. You begged and moaned, trying to push yourself forward helplessly. Someone sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around you. You struggled against the hands restraining yours. The pressure on one of your wrists disappeared and you reached blindlessly for the person next to you. Instead of flesh, you felt fabric. Without even stopping to think, you tried to take the boxers off of Chris. He was not making it easy for you. You gave up, reaching for his bulge instead. He let out a low moan, sliding even closer to you. At the same time, Changbin decided to stop teasing you and finally thrust in. You let out a yelp and grabbed Chris’ dick. It felt even bigger than you had expected. Jisung was running his hand up and down your neck and jawline. After a little while, he grabbed your chin and lifted your head up. He ran his lips from your temple to your mouth and bit your lip. After a particularly hard thrust from Changbin you let out a loud moan that ended up being muffled when Jisung shoved his tongue in your mouth. Changbin was tightening his grip on your butt, pulling you toward him as he thrust harder. His legs were starting to give out under your weight. Everything, from the way your sweat-covered skin slapped against his, his breath against your neck, his arm muscles flexing when he lifted you back on the couch, to his little noises, was perfect. Jisung had taken your wrists back on his hands. Changbin pushed you up against the back of the couch. His hands roamed up and down your body, firm but slow. His breath was getting more laboured by the second, and his noises were getting high-pitched and desperate. He kept muttering praises and half-coherent words of encouragement on your ear. You could feel him all over you. His hands were moving all over your body; his mouth was on your chest, still muttering nonsense against your skin. His thighs tightened and relaxed under yours with every thrust. You let yourself drop back on Jisung’s chest for support. All your limbs felt like jelly; it was a miracle you were still holding yourself upright.

Suddenly, you felt Jisung lifting you up, followed by Changbin’s complaints. Before you could ask what was going on, your back hit the wall. You wrapped your legs around his waist, aching to get some more contact than you were getting. You felt his dick rubbing against you, slow and teasing. He pushed your hair out of your face and wiped the sweat off your forehead tenderly. His touch was gentle, almost too much. Even though he was touching you all over, it wasn’t enough. You begged under your breath, but all you got as an answer were shushes and soft kisses. You were so far gone that you barely noticed your back leaving the wall until Jisung spoke..

“It is rude to interrupt someone like this.”

“Don’t you dare talk about interrupting.”

“I did it for you, I could see you were having a hard time.“

With that, Changbin slotted himself between the wall and your back. His hands traveled down the sides of your body, nowhere near as soft as Jisung’s were just a while before. He grabbed your thighs and pulled you toward him, making Jisung move along with you. It felt amazing to be pressed up against the two bodies.Changbin decided he had done enough waiting. He thrust back in you, almost harder than he had up until then. He grunted at Jisung to hold your hands like he had before. The sweat on his chest had made your back stick to him; it was almost painful to move away. He thrust as best and hard as he could on the position you were. His soft moans sounded loud on your ears. Jisung was nipping softly at your throat, a sharp contrast with the strength he was using to hold you up and pin your hands to the wall. His dick kept rubbing against you every now and again. The stimulation was too much for you. A single tear ran down your cheek. You whined and begged for more, for Jisung to do something other than teasing. He left open-mouthed kisses all over your chest and neck, which had the opposite effect to what you wanted. The tears were now flowing freely down your cheeks. He wiped them off with a caress. Everything he did was sweet and caring, soft on a deliberate way. He was making sure that you wouldn’t finish before giving him a chance to. Changbin was nothing alike. His touches were rough; his thrusts, sharp. He kept trying to find an unmarked spot on your neck, tracing all the previous bites with the tip of his tongue. He let empty praises slip between his moans, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

It was too much. Both boys would have driven you mad individually, but having them together was impossible to stand. Changbin dug his fingers on your thighs hard enough to bruise. He sank his teeth on your back while letting out small groans. You could tell he was holding himself back, trying to make you finish before he did. Jisung licked a stripe from your jaw to the base of your neck and bit down hard. He pulled your wrists higher up the wall, which made him push his body even closer to yours. Changbin chose that moment to change the pace, going from fast and sharp thrusts to slower, deeper ones. Your head fell back against the wall after a particular well-aimed one. You could feel the silk ribbon slipping away from your eyes. You opened them slowly, but the lighting was dim enough to allow you to see almost straight away. You locked eyes with Chris, who was thrusting into his hand at the same pace that Changbin was thrusting into you. When he felt your eyes on him, he smirked. It was enough to send you over the edge. Changbin pulled out. He was panting heavily while resting his forehead on your shoulder. His voice was lower and rougher than usual when he spoke.

“What was that? I thought you could handle us, baby.” You whined in response. “What will you do when you have to handle all of us at once?”

You tried to form a coherent answer, but all you could do was babble. Both Changbin and Jisung kept teasing you even now, while they waited for you to catch your breath. Changbin left open-mouthed kisses wherever he could reach, biting down harder every now and then. Jisung was doing the same all over your neck and shoulders. He was teasing your entrance, not quite pushing in yet. Changbin’s hard-on was pressed against your ass. Changbin was still holding you on his arms effortlessly. Your skin burned where his hands gripped your thighs. You could feel his arm muscles against your sides and his toned body on your back. The way all his muscles flexed and relaxed with every move was making a number on you, almost more than anything else. Jisung was working hard as well, holding his body against yours and pinning your wrists to the wall to make sure you stayed upright. Chris had stopped touching himself. You took in the sight. He was sitting in his chair, his legs spread wide and his cock hard and leaking against his abdomen. His chest moved up and down in time with his breath. A thin layer of sweat made his skin glisten. He ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip before a cocky smirk made his lips twitch upwards. His eyes were still on you. Even though your mind felt hazy, you could tell that he knew how much he was affecting you; his moves were deliberately targeting all your weaknesses, the ones you had talked about and the ones he had figured out by himself. He looked as sinful as he did perfect. You found yourself begging for more again. Changbin let out a husky laugh.

“What’s it, baby?” He held your earlobe between his teeth. “What do you need?”

You tried to put your thoughts into words, but all you managed to do was mumble out empty pleas. Jisung spoke up next.

“That won’t do, princess. You need to tell us what you want us to do.” He thrust in you the smallest bit, making you cry out, only to pull out right away.

“Please, Ji. Need you in me. Please. Now.”

“Oh? Princess found her words.” He thrust the tip in again. The high-pitched moan you let out made him chuckle. “You’re so needy.”

With that, he thrust in you. All his restraint had flown out the window. His thrusts were sharp and accurate, hitting your spot dead-on every time. He kept his face buried on your neck. His breath felt hot on your skin, but the sensation made you shiver. Changbin let go of one of your thighs. Before you could slip down, he lifted his knee so that his thigh could support yours. He shoved two fingers in your mouth. You could feel his cock twitch when you sucked on them. After a while, he took them out. He ran his hand slowly all the way down to your lower back. His teeth found your earlobe again.

“Tell me, baby. How would you like if I fucked your ass open now?” You nodded once, unable to keep the string of incoherent pleas you let out. “Good. Tell me if it hurts.”

He pushed both fingers in slowly. The stretch should have felt uncomfortable at first, but you could barely register it. He built up a pace, thrusting faster each time until he could move his fingers in and out with ease. Jisung had slowed down while Changbin’s fingers worked you open, only picking up the pace again when he pulled them out. Your whine of complaint faded into a needy moan as you felt his tip pushing in your ass. He kept a slow and steady rhythm at first, giving you time to adjust to his length. His chest was moving up and down at the same speed–pushing in as he breathed in, pushing out as he breathed out; it was the only thing you could focus on.

Jisung, on the other hand, had managed to recover his original pace, even though his thrusts had lost accuracy. His breath came out in short pants against your neck, and he gasped when you clenched you walls around him. His hands kept getting tighter and relaxing around your wrists. You felt Changbin’s lips curling up against your skin as he sped up until his thrusts matched up to Jisung’s. Jisung let go of your hands and leaned his forehead on your chest. He nipped on your skin, trying to keep up with the pace that he had set. When Changbin felt Jisung had slowed down, he lifted you off of him and slammed you back down. Both Jisung and you cried out, making Changbin chuckle. He kept moving you up and down Jisung’s cock, still pounding into you. You could tell Jisung was close, and, apparently, so could Changbin, if his filthy words of encouragement, urging you to make Jisung come in you, were anything to go by. Soon, he was talking to Jisung as well.

“Look at that, baby. Look how close he is. You’ve done all that. You’ve driven him crazy. Hasn’t she, Ji? Come on, show her how good she is. Finish in her, don’t keep her waiting.” None of you could reply. Instead, you wrapped your arms around Jisung’s head, keeping him close to you, while he tried to speed up again. “Come on, Ji. Just a bit more. Do it for our princess, come on.”

Not too long after that, Jisung’s hips stutter as he came inside you. You cried out at the feeling, leaning your head back against the wall. He kept thrusting into you until he was too sensitive to go on. He waited until he had caught his breath a bit and pulled out before getting away from you. You clenched around nothing, whining at the sudden emptiness. You could feel his come trickling out of your hole. Changbin shoved two fingers in you as he flipped you over and slammed you against the wall. His thrusts reached even deeper in this position, and his fingers fucked into you as his hand rubbed against your clit. If he kept this up, you’d be coming again soon. You wondered how much longer he’d be able to go on for; you were impressed by his endurance.

His thrusts slowed down, eventually coming to a stop. You tried to turn around to see what had made him stop, but before you could, you found yourself in Chris’ arms, being carried back over to the couch. Changbin settled on the carpet with his back against the seat and his legs spread. Chris placed you on the carpet facing Changbin. Chris pushed your back forward with one hand, wrapping his other hand around your waist.

“Get on your fours for me, babygirl.” You didn’t hesitate to do so. Your face landed inches from Changbin’s cock. Chris leaned over you, running his hands down the sides of your torso. “You know what to do, right?”

You kept your eyes on Changbin’s as you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. His breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut. He tangled one of his hands on your hair, letting out a husky moan as you started taking him deeper down your throat. When he saw that you could take it, he started thrusting into your mouth, slowly at first. Chris, who had been so quiet until then that you had almost forgotten that he was there, spoke up.

“Changbin, she’s not made of glass. Fuck her like you mean it.” He let his palm fall on your ass, making you take Changbin even further down your throat. You moaned at the feeling. “See? It’s what she wants, right, babygirl?”

You nodded as well as you could. You put your hands on his thighs and pushed him closer to you. It was all the encouragement Changbin needed to start fucking into you. He guided your head down his length as he thrust up into your mouth. He held your face down for a few seconds. You could feel tears were starting to run down your face again. When he let you come back up for air, Chris thrust in you, keeping his hands firmly on your waist. Changbin kept his hand tight on your hair, pushing you down when his legs started to give out. They managed to build a steady pace, thrusting in and out of you at the same time. You risked a glance up at Changbin; he looked sinful, his head thrown back on the couch and his arm over his eyes. His chest moved in time with his heavy panting. A thin layer of sweat covered his skin, making it glisten almost heavenly, and his hair was damp and sticking to his forehead. He had his lower lip caught between his teeth. His sight alone was almost enough to bring you over the edge again. You buried your face back against his body right as Chris decided to pick up his pace. You moaned around Changbin’s length. His grip on your hair tightened even more. He wasn’t even bothering to push your head down his cock, opting instead to keep your head down and thrusting shallowly into your mouth. You could tell he was trying to delay his orgasm as much as he could. For the first time since you had started, he looked like he was about to come. You decided to help him out by swallowing around him and bobbing your head up and down as much as his hand allowed you to. After a little while, you could feel the muscles of his thighs hardening under your hands. He pushed you as far down his length as he could, coming short after. You choked a bit around him, but still managed to avoid pushing yourself away. You sucked him off gently until he pulled out of your mouth, letting go of your hair and falling back against the couch.

Chris, on the other hand, still seemed far from tired. He had managed to keep fucking into you relentlessly; his grip on your waist, hard enough to bruise. He adjusted to every single shift on your position, dragging you back against him when you slipped too far into Changbin’s body and helping you push forward when Changbin’s stamina started to falter, all the while keeping his thrusts as hard and accurate as you needed them. He would sneak a hand down to rub your clit from time to time, just enough to make you beg for more. He had total control over you, keeping you close to the edge, yet still making sure that you didn’t finish before he wanted you to.  

When Changbin finished, Chris lifted your body and pulled you away from him almost effortlessly, keeping you upright for a few seconds before dropping you down on the carpet and pushing one of his hands between your shoulder blades to keep your upper body flush with it. You could tell that he had been holding back; everything he did felt a lot more intense, even if he wasn’t doing anything different from before.

After a few more minutes, when he made sure that you were as close to coming as you could be without getting to finish off, his hips slowed down. He pulled out of you and stood up. The disappointment you felt was replaced with anticipation when he lifted you on his arms. He captured your lips on a filthy kiss and dropped you on the couch. You gasped when your head came in contact with Jisung’s thigh.Chris stood between your legs, looking down at you with the sexiest smirk you had ever seen adorning his features. He traced his index finger all the way from your knee to your jaw, and then down from your shoulder to your open palm. He grabbed your hand and lifted it over your head. Your other hand came in contact with Changbin’s hair. You kept it there as you felt Chris thrusting in you again. His free hand traced patterns on your skin softly. He leaned down every now and then to leave kisses wherever he saw fit. Those softer actions contrasted with the strength that he was still using to snap his hips and to hold your arm up, and they were driving you insane. You kept moaning his name, unable to think of anything else to say. He seemed pleased to see how easily he was taking you apart. Your orgasm was creeping up on you yet again. Your voice got higher, more desperate, begging him to let you finish. He stopped moving as he seemed to consider it, tilting his head to the side. He held your gaze and spoke up.

“Very well, I’ll let you come now. But not until I tell you to, alright?”

He waited until you nodded to go on, but still managed to catch you by surprise. You threw your head back, biting down on your lip almost hard enough to draw blood. Chris brought his free hand down to your clit and started rubbing it. Your grip on Changbin’s hair tightened. You were so close. If he kept this up, he’d have you coming within seconds. He pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in as hard as he could, working hard to make you finish. As you had expected, it didn’t take him long to push you over the edge.  He let go of your arm and brushed your hair out of your face, waiting for you to come down from your high. When you had caught your breath, he pulled out of you, making you wince. You opened your eyes slowly to look at him. He was still hard. You tried to sit up, but your whole body felt like jelly from the overstimulation. Jisung helped you sit up. You shot a grateful smile at him before turning towards Chris again. When you reached for his cock, he stepped closer to the couch to make it easier for you. You wrapped your hand around him and he sighed gratefully as you started moving it up and down his length. His hips bucked into your touch, urging you to pump him faster. He let out a string of curses when you did. His knees started giving out not too long after, and, within just a few more strokes, he was coming on your hand.

The only sound that could be heard in the studio were your breaths as the four of you recovered from what had just happened. Changbin was on the carpet, leaning his head against your thigh, while Chris and Jisung were sitting on the couch at either side of you. You were leaning against Jisung, your legs resting on Chris’ lap. It felt like an eternity had passed since that same afternoon, when you had been discussing it. You couldn’t even remember why the topic had come up, but you sure were glad that it had. As you laid there, you thought back to the moment when Jisung had suggested that you tried to take on the three of them at the same time. You had been so scared that things between you would change if you did. Now, as you laid there, you realised that they had, but you didn’t care at all. You wouldn’t be able to pretend nothing had happened between you, and you wouldn’t want to either. A new world of possibilities that you were willing to embrace had opened up. When they looked at you, something told you that they were, too.

[crystalsexarch]

Preaching to the Choir - E

“You’ve got me in a compromising position...and I don’t want anyone thinkin’ you’ve clouded my judgment...”

-

Ambiguous male WoL and G'raha Tia, who decides that the middle of a blowjob is a good time to voice his complaints about having his adventuring restricted.

Also on AO3.

Part of the 2021 FFXIV Writing Challenge

"It's disrespectful."

G'raha is on his knees, resting his head on the Warrior of Light’s bare thigh. It's a lazy day at the Find. Everyone is playing the waiting game, while Eorzea's finest engineers tinker at the Tower’s latest mystery. The warrior’s humble tent is a good enough place for G’raha to air his grievances with the expedition so far. "I'm more than a page-flipping scholar, after all," he says.

"I'm well aware," says the warrior. A shimmer of sweat coats his forehead. The weather is unseasonably hot, and he's been under unintentional duress for about five minutes now, besides. What started as a casual conversation led to oral sex—then apparently circled back around. He's gripping the covers of his cot in muted anticipation, while G'raha works through his feelings.

"It's just—my frustration is immeasurable." The red-cheeked Seeker wraps his lips around the warrior's head and taps it absently with his tongue, as though he’s just curious about the taste. Though he has his fingers curled around the base, he isn't stroking. "I simply think—I've proven myself as a capable adventurer. And now they pull my reins..."

"Y-yeah." The warrior wouldn't mind pulling G'raha a little bit, specifically to have him lower his mouth all the way again and suck more diligently. But the warrior has waited longer for less important things. It's rude to interrupt.

“Do you think...perhaps your input might sway them?” G’raha raises his head with a furrowed brow. By the optimistic sparkle in his mismatched eye, it’s clear the idea just occurred to him. “If you spoke to Rammbroes, perhaps—”

“I think, er—” The warrior is quick to interrupt with words and a steady hand to G’raha’s shoulder. “You’ve got me in a compromising position...and I don’t want anyone thinkin’ you’ve clouded my judgment...”

“Oh. Oh!” G’raha pats his palms together and looks the throbbing problem in the eye. It isn't getting any less hard, that's for sure. "Forgive my impropriety.”

“You don’t have to. We can—”

“I finish what I start!” His russet tail mimics the determined point of his finger. “Besides, I want to very much. It was unprofessional of me to get so distracted. So…” A close-mouthed laugh. He paints the tip of the warrior's cock with spit before smiling and taking in the bulk of the shaft.

The sudden pressure catches the warrior of guard. He sputters out a few syllables, none of them meant to form any particular word. G’raha, now happily flattening his tongue against the warrior’s cock, offers a comforting hand. The warrior takes it, presses it to his thigh.

It's almost romantic, isn't it? Somehow.

It also feels pretty damn good. For all his academic know-how, G'raha appears to have studied more than books and tomes and relics in the halls of Sharlayan. This man is comfortable on his knees. He looks pretty from that angle, too, like something that ought to be immortalized in marble. The warrior stares at his long, fluttering eyelashes for a bit too long—and G'raha looks up to catch him looking.

As if there's something embarrassing about ogling the man with his head between your legs, the warrior gasps and turns his head away. “Um...would you mind if I…?” His hands blindly dance back and forth above G’raha’s ears. “Touch you?”

“Mmm.” The Seeker keeps working. His thumb and index meet around the root of the warrior's cock, rubbing where his lips can't quite reach. An affirmation.

One thumb at a time, the warrior presses his fingers upon G’raha’s shoulders. A gentle, reverent touch, though his stomach tells him to be much rougher. Perhaps he'll give in soon. First, he acquaints himself with collarbone, before bringing his thumbs together at the bump on G’raha’s neck. A feather-touch comes next to the dark tattoos on either side. The warrior still doesn't understand them. He half-expected them to glow upon contact. When G'raha swallows, the warrior feels it in two places. "That's...that's nice…" he says.

"Hmm?" G'raha drags his lips off and twists the ring of his fingers over the whole of the warrior's erection, now well and slick. "Much better when I focus, aren't I?"

"You're very good." Good enough to make the warrior's heart pound, though it may not be the sex alone. "Can I fuck you?"

"Of course!" G'raha smiles and prepares to stand.

But the warrior stands first. As soon as he gets his answer, he shoves his cock back inside and puts both of his hands on G'raha's head. Deep, deeper the warrior pushes, until it makes his teeth hurt to think of waiting any longer. A throaty groan from G'raha, and the die is cast. He holds the Seeker in place and pistons in and out from the hip until he can't hold his breath nor his climax a moment longer.

"A-ah!"

The warrior bends his knees and pulls at G'raha now, acting on some biological instinct to make sure no drop goes wasted. The next thrusts are ugly and uneven, primitive and unrefined. The Seeker has to swallow twice to accept all he's given—which is to say the warrior had quite a bit to give. the aftermath is heavy and hot. Since when did it get so warm in Mor Dhona? When the warrior deflates back onto his cot, he accidentally takes a grunting G'raha with him.

"Oh! Sorry!" The warrior raises his hands higher than necessary to release his partner.

G'raha laughs and wipes his mouth. "No need to apologize." His tail waves happily at his back. "I'm simply thankful you respect my ability."

[bnhavibes]

hhihihi!!! i saw your requests were open and i was wondering if you could do a Midoriya one where the two of them are like,,, perfect for each other. they both ramble a lot and are anxious often and have a lot of similar habits and mannerisms. only difference is Midoriya is pining super hard for them, and they’re pretty oblivious to it no matter how hard he tries to make them realize he has a thing for them. everyone else can tell BUT them. is this too specific? maybe. sorry lol! 💕💖

If there’s anything more envigorating than training with your classmates, it’s socializing with your classmates! You, Class 1-A, some kids from 1-B, and a handful of some support class students all planned a hangout in the common room for Game Night.

Of course, the Bakusquad teams up with Bakugou, Kirishima, Ashido, and Kaminari on one team and the 1-B kids on the otherside; Kendo, Shinsou, Monoma and uh oh—

“My, my, it seems one of our classmates would rather study than participate in this silly game night!” Monoma chorted obnoxiously. “I always knew our class was much more responsible and—”

“SHUT YOUR DAMN TRAP YOU BIT—” Bakugou exploded, but his shrapnel was covered by Kirishima’s hands over the angry hedgehog’s mouth; Arms wrapped around and over his shoulders to keep Bakugou in place, Kirishima laughs a bit awkwardly.

“What out buddy Bakubro over here means you bit-ter bring your A-games! Heh,” He says, squeezing a struggling Katsuki while he growled and kicked around. “We might wipe the floor with ya.”

“What about Midoriya? Where did he go?” Yao-momo asked, hope hanging on her tongue.

It was obvious (only to you) that the beautiful girl had a crush on your crush. And it made you even more discouraged, knowing that such a socialable and outgoing girl would win Deku’s heart before you could even try!

You knew where he was though, you saw him sneak away with a huge flush on his face after talking to Yao-momo. You had texted him wondering where he was going and he said he had to study for his internship. The thought of the two chatting made your nervous tick activate, your leg bouncing rapidly on your seat’s footrest. You couldn’t help but blush a look down at your hands, thinking that people would notice.

You thought, and second guessed, about the outfit you chose for tonight; a pair of black soffe shorts(the comfortable kind that dancers exercise in), a very baggy and black low v-neck top with over-the-shoulder short sleeves made of polyester. Of course you had a pair of black ruffles ankle socks, but you didn’t bother with slippers since the floors were always clean.

You bring out your journal, writing and doodling on the countertop. while you sat on a barstool, the game systems were set up and snacks were being heated/cooked in the oven and prepped onto the countertop. A good amount of time passed when they finally got it all done.

Your distracting thoughts ease your shaking a little, but it fires back up when you hear somebody respond to Momo;

“Oh! I forgot to say, Yao-momo, maybe ask (Y/Nn)-chan, you know how those two are, hehehe.” the ‘Alien Queen’ retorted as the festivities had already begun.

Pink coated the tips of your ears, dusting across your cheekbones when Momo’s eyes meet yours as you look over in their direction. A warm smile stretches across her face, earning a gulp from you. The lump in your throat disappears as she approaches you, and places a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, (Y/N), you and Midoriya-kun are friends. I noticed he was acting funny earlier, but he wouldn’t tell me what was the matter and left. Would you min—”

You didn’t let her finish as a “I’ll go grab him!” sped out of your mouth, collecting your phone and journal as you raced to the elevators. Relieved to be out of the big crowd, you let out a deep exhale as the elevators ascends. Deku wouldn’t tell Momo what was wrong, so it was up to you as his best friend to figure it out.

You clentched your phone and journal in your hands, shaking a bit with every step towards his room. Soft japanese lofi hiphop playing from behind his door, making your anxiety skyrocket.

“Here we goooo—” You raise your hand to knock, “—OOH GOD. Oh goddddgod god!! I have to talk to Deku, and what if hes alone?! What if he doesn’t wanna see me? Did I make him upset?? Hmm, well he always feels better when bringing up All Might. Maybe I could go grab some movies and come back or..” You rambled on and on, talking to nobody but an empty hallway. In your daze, the door began to creep open.

You started taking notes, marking pros vs cons of talking to Deku right now. Mumbling something or other when a small squeak distracts you.

“U-Uh-uuHuh, he-hey there, (y/n)!!! Eh, wha—why aren’t you enjoying game night? Did somethi-

“DEKU! Oh— Hi, well you, aheh! uHmM What! No, I— I, I wanted to— oh geez, your room smells so good! Are you making cookies or something?” You blush profusely, biting your lip to stop your damn tongue from speaking.

His own blush flares up, backing up a bit and opening an arm to welcome you in as he looks harshly away from you, frozen in a flinch and sweat beginning to build on his forehead. He was in a pair of black joggers, a plain white v-neck on his torso and the bracelet you got him for his 18th birthday.

“I was just warming up some cookie dough, I, I know you’re not supposed to eat it uncooked but— It tastes g-good so.” He strays off, touching every other thing and making sure it was perfectly placed; a common occurance in his room.

A giggle escapes your lips, breaking a few layers of the awkwardness, and bringing a brighter hue of pink on his cheeks as you made yourself comfortable on his bed. It wasn’t noticed by you, but you were distracted by a gut feeling that you couldn’t ignore.

“D-Deku?” You squeak, nerves choking you up.

He looked over at you from his place on the floor, he was on his knees looking for a book in his bedside table’s drawers. “Ye-Yeah?”

“Do you actually have something to study, or is there something w-wrong? Yo-You can tell me— I wouldn’t tell a soul, I, I swear on it.” You say with a brave smile, clutching your journal to your body as you sat with your knees on the mattress

“Did Yaoyoroza put you up to this? I— I already told her it’s n-not worth worry-ING! UUHhhhHhh (Y/N)!! Y-Your, uhh— I!” He slaps a hand over his eyes and runs himself to his closet, blindly grabbing what seems to be a pair of sweats and holding them out at you with a shaking hand.

“W-What’s this?” You ask, eyes widening when you look down at your legs to see what made him react like that. A tear along the back side of your shorts had begun to spread from; The tight material usually form-fits itself around your “thicker” thighs and buttocks, but you must have caught them on your stool when sliding down and off it. (You’re short, so just stepping off high barstools will never happen).

“Th-Thank you!” You squeal, snatching the material out of his hands and slipping them on, and to your surprise— they fit! Even around your wider hips, tho your waist wasnt much smaller than his, the hem hanging a bit low, exposing about an inch of your lower torso(upper pelvis/low tummy and hipbone area).

“Is it okay now?” Midoriya asked. He looked so cute with his hand over his eyes, the prominent blush now being observed and imprinted in your mind.

You couldn’t help but reach out to touch his face, wanting to trace your fingers across every freckle that sprinkled across his person. Though, before you could reach his skin, he peeked through the cracks of his fingers; The heat becoming unbearable, and now your own body felt hot.

“(Y/N)...” He spoke softly, as if he was realizing something, removing his hand slowly. You were frozen in front of him; both visibly trembling, both staring into the eyes of your crush, both anxiously determining the next step.

You gulped harshly as he took in your appearance, subconsciously licking his lips as his eyes met the harsh grip your teeth had on your bottom lip, stepping forward and —without warning— he swept a strand of hair out of your face, both hands cupping underneath your jawline, and pulled your bodies together by gently tugging you forward and planting a slightly wet, deep kiss on your lips.

Your initial reaction was to freak out, but for some reason his warm hands kept you from falling apart. With your knees buckling, you grab the collar of his shirt, and almost fall into him— But his right hand steadied you, his calloused fingers pressing into your barely exposed lower back a bit, your bodies now insepedable as he continues to kiss you slowly but so deeply you thought he had some type of soul-sucking Quirk that happens when he kisses people.

After what felt like a life time, though it must have been 2 minutes, his lips leave yours. The absence of his mouth leaves you with a pout, but when your eyes flutter open you find he has a sweetest look in his eyes as he worriedly furrows his brows.

“S-Sorry, was that o-okay?” He asked, neither of you moving an inch.

“Does that mean yo-you like me?”

He chuckles, making your heart flutter. “I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you, (Y/N).”

HNNNNGGF I HOPE U LIKEd THIS I KNOW IT WASNT EVERYTHING U ASKED FOR BUT AKAOXOISOSD

[agerefandom]

Safety In Numbers

Fandom: Be More Chill (the musical)

Characters: Rich & Jeremy-centric, with Michael, Christine, and Jake.

Words: 2,100

Summary: The kids from Be More Chill become friends, slowly but surely. Jeremy starts getting closer to Rich and finds out that he regresses.

Warnings: Bit of an angsty fic! With a happy ending, of course. Mentions of bad parents and unsafe households. Nightmares and stress-regression. One cuss word. Typed baby-talk.

Note: The prompt asked for cg!Jeremy with regressor!Rich and Jake. I only filled about half of the prompt because I’ve never written for BMC before and needed to do some world-building, so please remind me to write a part two when I open requests again! I’ve got a bit of a to-do list so I’m only writing this stand-alone for the moment, but I hope you enjoy, and I look forward to writing the rest!

After everything that happened, it was only natural for the five of them to become friends.

Jeremy shared a room with Rich and Jake in the hospital, and both Michael and Christine came to visit them regularly. At first, Michael came to sit with Jeremy, but eventually he would come and pull up a chair between the beds, chatting with all of them and pulling out his phone to show them all the latest hot meme.

Eventually, they returned to school to finish the year. No one really knew what had happened, but most people seemed to blame Jeremy. With Rich on the outs after the fire, and Jake unable to play football during his recovery period, the five of them formed an alliance of convenience, protecting each other from the alternating teasing and cold shoulders. They ate lunch together, walked to classes together, and kept an eye out for each other after school.

Slowly, what began as a survival strategy became a genuine friendship.

They all liked video games, as it turned out, although their tastes were drastically different. Soon their lunchtimes were consumed by arguments about console and PC games, arcade favourites and foreign imported games. Michael would get so worked up he would stand on his chair, and the others would pull him back down, laughing. Christine would gesture so wildly that she hit Jeremy in the face and get completely derailed by apologizing. Jeremy was hesitant at first, but eventually he was as loud as any of them, coming to the defense of Michael’s obsession with 8-bit games and arguing for the artistic integrity of the vintage aesthetic as Christine and Rich both scoffed at him.

It all worked in a way that Jeremy had never expected. He found himself hardly noticing the stares in the hallway, or the self-deprecating whispers in his head, when he was walking hand-in-hand with Christine, or Michael, or any of their friends. They had formed a closed circle together, with the rest of the world locked out, and that felt fine. It felt safe.

Jeremy felt like he knew everything about Michael, but he was still learning more every day. He got to know the other three from week to week, piecing together their childhood stories and comments about school into a patchwork picture of who they were.

Jake was living with his aunt now, Jeremy learned. With his parents expected to face serious jail-time, the courts had given Jake the choice between emancipation or a family member willing to house Jake until his 18th birthday. Jake got along fine with his aunt, but she wasn’t exactly a mother figure. She had never planned to have kids, and treated Jake more like a younger brother. Her house was small, so they rarely spent time at Jake’s house, and Jeremy had only met his aunt once.

Jeremy had never been over to Rich’s house. Jake told them that Rich’s father was a real asshole, and Rich said that things had gotten worse since the fire. Jeremy inferred that his SQUIP had been helping to defuse things at home as well as at school, and things weren’t going as well without it. Rich was always staying over at other people’s houses, beaming when he was invited to sleep on the couch. Jeremy tried to offer as much as possible; the couch in his basement folded out into a futon, and his dad was sympathetic once Jeremy explained Rich’s home situation.

Christine’s house was by far the largest of the five, full of decorative platters and parents who kept bringing them bowls of fruit. She had an entire couch in her bedroom, and once Jake’s legs healed, they found out that all five of them could squish onto it to watch movies on a laptop. The only downside was that her dad was a light sleeper and forced them all to go home at nine pm sharp, so they more often spent time in Jeremy’s basement. Michael’s basement was fine but always dirty, and his TV wasn’t half the size of Jeremy’s.

The rest of Jeremy’s Junior year passed in a blur of homework, movie nights, ‘Game Over’ screens, and cuddle piles. He learned about each of his friends, and in learning about them he came to love them.

--

When classes ended and summer came, as humid and oppressive as ever, Rich started staying at other people’s houses more. Jeremy’s house was the safest bet because his dad never said no, and the futon was pretty comfortable. So Jeremy got used to finding Rich on his doorstep in the evening, with a hopeful grin and his backpack slung over one shoulder.

Jeremy tried to talk to him about it, but Rich always switched the subject. He wanted to play video games, or watch terrible 70s horror movies and laugh at them, or argue about comic books. Jeremy obliged, letting Rich set the rules and the pace from night to night. Rich was manic with energy some nights, whooping and cheering at the screen with every successful kill. Other nights, he slumped against Jeremy’s side with blank eyes and fell asleep as soon as the movie title came on-screen.

Some nights, Jeremy would turn off the TV and quietly wedge a pillow under Rich’s head before sneaking up to his own bed. Other nights, when the futon was already set up, Jeremy would watch the movie with Rich’s head resting on his shoulder, and fall asleep with the credits scrolling.

Often, Jeremy would wake up in the middle of the night because Rich was a pretty active sleeper, and then he would tiptoe off to his own bed to give Rich his privacy.

One night, though, Jeremy wasn’t woken up by Rich kicking his legs or rolling on top of him. He was woken up by the sound of muffled whimpers beside him, a strained sound of fear.

Disoriented, Jeremy squinted into the darkness. It took him a moment to remember that he was on the futon in the basement with Rich, and from there he knew that Rich must be having some kind of nightmare.

“Rich?” Jeremy sat up and felt blindly for his friend. “Rich, wake up.” His hand made contact with Rich’s chest and he found Rich’s shoulder, shaking him gently. “Rich, come on. Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”

After a few long seconds of that pained whimpering, Jeremy heard Rich gasp in a deep breath and then go quiet.

“Rich?” he asked the darkness softly. “Are you awake?”

There was no response, but with the hand Jeremy still had on Rich’s shoulder, he could feel that the other boy was shaking.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy started to panic a little bit, looking around for the light switch. What if Rich was having a seizure or something, and Jeremy couldn’t see because it was dark? “Rich, are you okay?”

“Sorry,” Rich whispered. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” He kept muttering the same word quietly, his body trembling like a leaf in the wind. His voice was tired and wavering and almost unfamiliar in its tone.

“It’s okay,” Jeremy told him, and stroked his arm with a thumb in what he hoped was a calming gesture. “You don’t need to be sorry. Do you want me to go?”

Jeremy felt Rich shake his head energetically.

“Cool, I’ll stay. Do you want a hug?” Jeremy had barely finished the question when Rich was in his arms, thrown forwards at full force. Jeremy heard himself make an ‘oof’ sound but he wrapped his arms around Rich, holding him tightly in the darkness. With Rich so close, Jeremy could finally hear that he was crying, his breaths catching in quiet sobs as he clung to Jeremy.

“M’sorry,” he muttered again into Jeremy’s neck. “M’sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jeremy said. “Really, it’s okay. We all get nightmares.” He ran a hand up and down Rich’s spine, hoping to stop the shaking.

Time stretched on inside of the hug, all of Jeremy’s focus consumed by moving in a way that would calm Rich down. He didn’t know if they had been there for a minute or an hour. He rubbed circles into Rich’s back, ran his fingers through Rich’s hair, gently massaged the back of Rich’s neck. Slowly, Rich stopped shaking quite so much, and eventually the tears subsided. Jeremy’s shirt was cold and wet where Rich had been crying into his shoulder, but he tried not to shiver for fear of setting Rich off again.

Once Jeremy felt Rich’s breathing settle back to normal, he slowly loosened his arms from around Rich and sat back on the makeshift bed.

“Are you okay?” he asked again. It felt like a feeble question, but he waited for the answer.

“I- I dunno.” Rich’s voice was still high with confusion. “I dunno.”

“That’s okay.” Jeremy nodded into the darkness, even though Rich couldn’t see him. “It’s okay to be not okay, okay?” He really needed to stop saying the word ‘okay,’ it was starting to lose its meaning. “Do you want to go and get a snack, or go back to sleep?”

“Scared,” Rich whispered, his lisp heavy on the word. “Don’t wanna sleep.”

“Okay.” Again, Jeremy needed to stop saying that word, but he didn’t know what else to say. “We’ve got some ice cream in the fridge, if you want to wake up properly.”

“What kinda ice cream?” Rich’s voice sounded brighter, but it hadn’t lost that slurred, high-pitched tone.

“Same as earlier tonight, Rocky road and mint chocolate chip.”

“I like Rocky Road!” Rich said excitedly, and then Jeremy felt him curl up. “M’sorry,” he said, and then he was back to muttering the same word over and over “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Jeremy said soothingly. “It’s no trouble. Do you want me to bring the ice cream down here?” He reached out again to rub one of Rich’s shoulders, and the other boy leaned into the touch. Jeremy obediently scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Rich, squeezing him steadily. Rich melted against him, with a quiet sob.

“M’not s’pposed to be like this,” Rich whispered.

“Like what?” Jeremy asked, resting his cheek against the top of Rich’s head. Rich made a wordless sound of distress at the question and folded in on himself, hiding his head in his arms. It sounded like he was trying to talk, but only kept starting words and then giving up on them.

“It’s okay,” Jeremy said again. “I’m not mad. You’re my friend and I love you.” Those words had become easier over the months, although they still felt like a huge step every time he said them. In the darkness here, it didn’t feel as much like a risk.

“Nnn,” said Rich into his knees where he was curled up. “M’sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Jeremy hoped that he wasn’t being annoying by saying the same thing over and over again, but it was all that he could think of to say. “I’m here.”

“Sorry,” Rich whispered.

“What are you sorry for?” Jeremy finally asked, trying to keep his voice gentle.

“Bein’ all dumb and small,” Rich said, sniffling a bit. “Can’t think, m’too small.” At first, Jeremy thought he was apologizing for his height, which was ridiculous. But then he started putting the pieces together. Rich’s voice, the slurred words and the confused questions. The tears, which he had never seen from Rich before. Could he mean ‘small’ in the sense of feeling like a kid?

“That’s okay,” Jeremy assured Rich, tugging him a little closer into the cuddle. “You don’t need to think, I can get us ice cream and we can put something dumb on the TV until we feel tired.”

“Don’t leave, m’sorry,” Rich said, holding on tight to Jeremy’s sleeve.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jeremy promised, pushing his nose against Rich’s temple in an affectionate nuzzle. “I can just stay with you if you want me here.”

“Tank you,” Rich said, still holding onto to Jeremy’s sleeve as if he were going to pull away. Jeremy was relieved to hear thanks instead of apologies, this time.

“Of course,” Jeremy said, and ran a hand through Rich’s hair as the other boy slowly relaxed against him. “I love you. Of course, I’ll stay.”

“Love you too,” whispered Rich, and the two of them sat in the darkness until sleep came back for them both.

[jungkookiebus]

Steamy Pt. 3 | jjk

Genre: college!au, smut, fluff Pairing: college!jungkook x reader Warnings: ass play, oral sex (m receiving), dirty talk (dom!jungkook), and ya know, sex.  Word Count: 5.4k Summary: Jungkook has wanted his way with you since that night in the bathroom. Now that he’s had you, partially in public, he’s craving more. He drags you back to his apartment to finally show you how he really feels through his actions and words. He leaves you feeling breathless in more ways than one. 

Author’s Note: Jungkook ended up being equal parts a dom and a fluffy boy in this one. I apologize 😂

Steamy Pt. 1 | Steamy Pt. 2 | Epilogue (super fluffy ending to this fic!)

Jungkook looked behind him to make sure you were still following. He had the messy blanket of food gripped in both hands as he walked ahead of you. He smiled at you excitedly as he led the way. You couldn’t help but smile back as you noticed your panties stuffed into his back pocket.

“How far away do you live?” you asked. You trailed behind him carrying a few objects that couldn’t be easily carried within the blanket.

“Not far from you, actually. A couple of blocks.” His face was flush with excitement as you drew near to his apartment. He was right, you were within a fifteen-minute walk from where he lived. He bumped his hip against the sensor that read his fob and kicked the front door open, allowing you inside.

“Elevators are to the left,” he said while gesturing his head. Once you hit the up button you had a few seconds to stand in silence together. You didn’t want it to be awkward, but you were both standing there; food, basket, and blanket in hand impatient to get to his apartment so he could have his way with you. The thought alone had your face flushing with heat.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You look hot. I mean, you are hot, but, like, your face is really red.”

“Just thinking.”

“If you’re not comfortable with this I’m totally game to watch a movie.”

He looked worried, extremely worried; almost as if he thought he had done something wrong.

“Not at all!” you reassured him. “It’s just weird standing here and waiting is all.”

He laughed as the elevator doors opened in front of him. “Yea, I guess you could say that we left in a rush for this.”

As soon as the doors slid shut, Jungkook dropped the blanket he was holding and surged forward towards you. In shock, you dropped the basket you were holding as his lips connected with yours. You heard the rattle as several items hit the floor, but none of it phased you when you felt his soft lips move over yours. His hands were on your hips again and he brought his flush with you. You could feel how hard he was under his tight jeans and you marveled at the fact that he had so much self-control thus far.

“God, I can’t wait to ruin you,” he whispered.

Your entire body shivered with anticipation. This was what you had been thinking of all week and now it was finally going to happen. A multitude of emotions coursed through you; what if you weren’t what he was expecting? What if he ended up not liking you after? You tried to push those thoughts away as he continued to look at you as if you were something to eat. As the elevator slowed to a stop, Jungkook pulled away from you and looked as casual as ever when the doors opened. Outside of them stood a middle-aged man that first looked at Jungkook then to the mess on the floor.

“Hey, Jungkook!” he started. “Uh…” He looked down at the floor.

You quickly looked to Jungkook for his response. Without once looking at you he said, “I don’t know, man. That was in here when we got in. I think those kids on floor six are back to their old ways again.”

“You’re a kid Jungkook,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Not as much as they are.”

The man sighed. “You’re right. I’ll get this cleaned up. Sorry you had to ride with that.”

“Not a problem.” Jungkook grabbed your hand and helped you around the scattered mess of Tupperware containers and down the hallway. You looked behind you to see the man muttering to himself as he bent down to pick up the blanket.

“Really?” you laughed.

“Hey, I don’t need half of that stuff and I’m kinda in a hurry right now,” he said while fumbling for his keys.

You hadn’t so much as a second to see his apartment before he had you up against the door. He slid his knee between your legs to press his rough jeans against your bare center as he gripped your hair at the nape and brought you in for a less than elegant kiss. His patience in holding back was wearing thin by the second and you could tell in his movements.

“Take me to your room,” you panted against his lips. Without hesitation he grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he blindly carried you down a short hallway and to his dimly lit bedroom. City lights filtered in through the curtains and a soft bedside lamp gave you enough light to see the details of Jungkook’s face. He laid you gently on the bed and brought his face mere centimeters from yours.

“Now,” he whispered as he ran a finger down your throat, “what are you into?”

You gulped. “I…uh…well…,” you said as you averted your gaze.

Jungkook sat up suddenly, his eyes wide almost comically so. “Wait! A-are you still…,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “a virgin? Oh my god, you just let me do all those things and you’re a virgin. Wow, Jungkook, you’re an asshole.”

You let him mildly berate himself before you tapped his thigh. He stopped long enough to look down at you.

“I’m not a virgin,” you laughed.

“Oh, thank god. I thought for sure I just used you for my own selfish needs and I was going to throw myself out of a window.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just…well, as far as being into things, I’ve really only had plain sex.”

“Plain sex?” he looked at you as if the term were totally foreign to him.

“You know, like, missionary sex. I usually don’t get off, but the guy does. That sorta thing.”

“Oh, wow,” he breathed. “So, a guy has never let you finish before?”

“Nope.”

“Well, that’s about to change,” he said as he leant back down and placed a kiss below your ear. “Now, tell me what it is that you would like to do that you’ve never tried before.”

His voice had dropped back down to a whisper as goosebumps raised along your skin.

Your eyes screwed shut in embarrassment. “I-I like it when people are dominant.”

“Go on,” he said while placing slower kisses down to your shoulder. His fingers slipped under the strap of your dress to pull it downwards.

You still refused to look at him just in case his eyes were on you. “Rough. I think I like rough sex.”

“Anything else?” His lips were now attached to the swell of you breast; your chest heaved upward in a nervous breath.

“I’m not sure. Maybe you can show me.”

“I’d love to,” he said as he came back up to mold his lips against yours. This kiss was deep and slow and he was taking his time. He pulled away to look at you. “If you’re uncomfortable at any point in time stop me.”

All you could do was shake your head in affirmation. You were both nervous and excited as your thighs clenched in anticipation. Jungkook stood from the bed and shrugged off his jacket, soon following quickly through with the rest of his clothing and before you knew it, he stood before you fully undressed and…fully erect. Your mouth watered at the sight. Never before had you been with so built and so big. At first, your thoughts wondered to how big he was and then went into complete panic mode at how your body was going to handle this.

“Are you okay? You seemed a little…shocked,” he muttered.

“No, no I’m okay. If we’re being honest here, I’m wondering how that’s going to fit,” you said pointing at him.

He laughed while reaching out and pulling you to stand in front of him. “Can I undress you?”

You nodded silently in consent and held your arms up as he pulled your dress over your head. His hands glided softly down your shoulders as he brought his chest against yours and reached around your back to undo the clasp of your bra. With a flick of his wrist, your last piece of clothing fell to the floor.

“I’m glad to finally be alone with you like this,” he whispered once again. Chills traveled through your body and it heightened your arousal. “Remember, tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Yes,” was all you could mutter. You were sure if you spoke more then it would all come out in an embarrassing stutter.

“Now,” he said louder and taking a step back from you, “on your knees.”

You’d be wrong if you said you weren’t taken a little aback at his sudden change, but you had said you liked it when someone was dominant. Jungkook was stoic as he looked at you, willing you to protest. So, instead of saying anything, you dropped to your knees in front of him and looked up to make eye contact. He stared down back at you through the dark fringe of his hair. With his right hand, he grabbed the base of his cock and started to pump himself slowly; smearing the precum along his length as he never broke eye contact with you.

“I’m going to need you to suck my cock like a good girl.” The timbre of his voice had you clenching your thighs together. “And no touching yourself.”

You shuffled a few inches closer and raised yourself up on your knees to come face to face with the very thing that was giving you anxiety right now. Jungkook himself was intimidating in this moment, but that paled in comparison to this. What if you couldn’t pleasure him like he wanted? Would he laugh at your inexperience? He cleared his throat above you as you froze and when you looked up his brow raised questioningly as if asking, ‘What are you waiting for?’ You had given someone a blow job before, of course, but not to anyone you actually really liked. The first contact of your hand with his cock had his hips stuttering slightly. Unbeknownst to you, he had been dreaming of this exact moment for the past few days, but nothing had prepared him for the delicate touch of your hand. Your nervousness had you starting out slow, moving over the hard plane of his cock. Within seconds, you had a rhythm and decided to do what was asked of you. You opened your mouth and laying your tongue flat you ran it along the underside of him. He moaned deep in his throat when you finally wrapped your lips around the head and slid him as far in your mouth as you could go, hand gripping the base to make up for the rest. You twisted and weaved your wrist as your head bobbed along his length, swirling your tongue around the tip from time to time. It seemed as if Jungkook was enjoying it when he stopped you by placing both of his hands on the sides of your head when your mouth was about midshaft. You looked upwards to see him suck his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Keep still,” he demanded. Still gripping the sides of your head, he started to move his hips and lightly thrust into your mouth. You let your hand drop to rest on the top of your thigh. Jungkook took your complacency as his cue to keep going. His thrusts soon became harsher and deeper, hitting well beyond your gag reflex. With each thrust, you were gagging around his cock and his moans became deeper as your muscles clenched around him, causing more saliva to coat him for an easier slide.

“God, baby, you take my cock so fucking well,” he said as he looked down at you. Drool was starting to slide past your lips and down your chin as tears welled up in your eyes. “Look at you. Letting me fuck that pretty little mouth of yours.” Jungkook thrust one last time, making you take him deeper than before, your nose almost touching his stomach as he stilled inside of you. You desperately tried to swallow around him as your breathing became difficult; your throat clenched and fluttered around him as your body started to crave more oxygen than what you could take in through your nose, but Jungkook kept his grip tight on your head as he let his cock sit heavy on your tongue. As soon as your vision started to darken at the corners of your eyes he pulled completely away from your mouth. An obscene amount of drool came out and Jungkook reached down to grip your chin tightly before you could close it.

“Uh, uh. I wanna see how fucking filthy you are.” His grasp was almost painful as he forced your mouth to stay open. “I could fuck this mouth of yours until it was raw. Would you like that? You’d have to explain to all of your friends why you couldn’t talk, but I have a feeling you’d like them to know what I did to you, wouldn’t you, _____?”

Your tears were starting to dry on your face and your eyelashes were stuck together at the corners, but you looked up at him anyway and with as much movement as he would give you said, “I’d love it.” Your voice was only a little raspy as your throat began to dry out, but he could still hear you clearly.

“Fuck, you’re going to kill me. Get up.” He didn’t so much as help you when you stood with wobbly legs; your time on the floor had begun to make your calves cramp and your feet were sore from keeping some of your weight.

Jungkook walked around and away from you; you swiveled on your heel to watch his movements. You were at the foot of his bed and you noticed with some satisfaction that his bed was tall, about hip height. You had seen enough porn to know where this might go, and he was soon to prove you right.

“Feet on the floor, but lay on the bed on your stomach,” he demanded as he was pulling open his nightstand to take out a condom. You looked over jokingly thinking to yourself that he probably needed the magnum condoms and you snickered to yourself.

“Something funny?” there was no hint of humor in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” you said avoiding his gaze. “I was just thinking about how you might need magnum condoms.”

You heard a single snort. “Hardly.” You heard the wrapper being ripped open and a few seconds later he was standing behind you. A nagging voice at the back of your head told you that he does this a lot and you had the alleviate the sick feeling in your stomach. He was now on his knees behind you as he gently lifted your right leg to let it lay sideways beside you on the bed. Both of your ass cheeks were in his hands as he kneaded them, pulling them apart, and blowing cool air against your cunt. He watched as you clenched around nothing.

“You know, this pretty little ass is just begging to be ruined.” You clenched instinctively. Never before had anyone touched you there. “Can I?” He knew this was probably foreign territory for you and his question sounded like it was laced with genuine concern.

“Yes,” you said quietly.

“Don’t be afraid to tell me no,” he said softly, his tone almost sad.

“Jungkook I want you to,” you whispered into the darkness.

“I’ll make you feel good. I promise.” The sincerity in his voice put your nerves at ease.

You let your body relax against the soft blanket and dropped your head to your arms as Jungkook spread your ass once more. You gasped as your mouth formed an ‘O’ when he placed his tongue flat against you. The sensation was unfamiliar, but not entirely unwanted either. He took his time working his tongue over you, letting you get used to the feeling of having him there before he experimentally pressed the tip of his tongue inside. You clenched again as he squeezed your ass reassuringly.

“Relax,” he whispered.

All you could do was trust him. He watched as your muscles relaxed once more.

“That’s it, baby.”

He laid his tongue flat against you again and then pushed his tongue in, not far, but enough for the feeling to hit every nerve in your body. When your body stayed relaxed, he pressed further, letting his tongue roam you. He slid one of his hands down to your clit as he continued to eat your ass and the feeling of both had you on your elbows, your body arching downward into the bed, and your ass farther into his face.  He moaned, his tongue working in and out of you as he kept up a steady pace on your clit. This was something you had only ever seen and to finally be put in this position had you thinking there was no way you would ever come back from this; Jungkook had successfully ruined you for anyone else. He moved his fingers off of your clit and slid them inside of you; you were so wet that he didn’t even need the added lubrication. Jungkook was not a shy man, he let his saliva slip from his mouth to continue to make both his ministrations on your ass and your cunt easier for himself and for you. His fingers curved to hit your g-spot; you felt him shift his body behind you to better brace himself as his pace in your cunt picked up as he kept his other hand on one ass cheek to keep you spread.

You were now fisting the blanket in your hands as your breathing became shallower, his actions bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. He pushed his face forward into your ass, tongue fully inside of you now, pushing your body upwards as his actions became more frantic and aggressive.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck,” was all you could manage as your stomach ached in anticipation, your cunt clenched so tightly around his fingers that he was doing his best to use the mixture of fluids to keep up inside of you.

He pulled away just enough to say, “Come for me, ______. I want you to come with my tongue in your ass.”

It took seconds of his tongue back inside of you before he was pushing you over the edge. You came with such force that you fell back on the bed, your entire bottom half slumping; your one foot on the floor having given up on you.

Jungkook held your hips as he kissed the skin there, making his way up your back with featherlight touches and kisses until he reached the back of your neck where he pushed your hair away and pressed his lips softly to your nape.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

“More than okay,” you muttered. “That…I’ve never felt like that before.”

“Good,” he said placing more kisses to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “I’m going to make you come again.”

“I think you just drew out every orgasm my body planned on having for the rest of its life.”

“Oh, we’ll just see about that. Stay where you are.”

He stood from the bed and situated himself behind you as he lined up with your entrance. Slowly, he entered you inch by inch; his hands were gripping your hips firmly.

“God, you’re fucking tight. When was the last time someone fucked you, ______?”

You knew the question was rhetorical, so you kept your mouth shut and just savored the sensation of him filling up every inch of your cunt. Once he was bottomed out, he let out a long, drawn out moan. He placed both of his hands on the bed beside your head as he leaned over to whisper in your ear, “If you can walk out of here after this then I give you permission to rat me out to Jimin right away.”

You laughed low at his joke, but you were pretty sure you already couldn’t walk from the first orgasm. His strokes started out slow, but each one hit you deeper than the last; so much so, that you felt as if you could feel him in your cervix, but he knew exactly how deep to go so that is was pleasurable. Even though this was your first time with him, he worked your body so expertly it was almost as if he had known you before. He leaned back to hold your hips tightly while his hips picked up pace and he snapped them against you. Any overstimulation you had began feeling before quickly faded and gave way to intense pleasure once again.

“I feel your tight pussy clenching around me again. Did you get past the overstimulation?”

You moaned at his keen observation wondering how in the hell he knew your body so well. Your entire body flushed with heat and you were so incredibly hot, every inch of you was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

“This is all mine you know that, right?” You couldn’t see him, but Jungkook tightened his grip on your hips as we watched himself disappear inside of you. “No one else can have you.”

“Jungkook,” you groaned, emphasizing the middle of his name.

“Say my name. I love it when you moan my name.”

His name fell from your lips in small praises as his strokes became long and deep inside of you.

“Feet on the floor,” he demanded.

You didn’t think twice as you let your leg slide back to the floor and braced your feet against the hardwood. Without removing himself, he reached down and wrapped his left arm underneath you and across your chest as he pulled you upward to his own. You used your knees to brace yourself against the bed as he continued to fuck into you; his right hand came to rest at your throat. His breath danced hotly across your skin as he brought his lips down to your neck. He sucked the skin at the base of it in between his teeth and bit down to the point that it was painful which caused you to cry out. Jungkook cooed as he ran his tongue over the spot and then up to your ear where he bit down on the lobe gently.

“Did you feel that in the rest of your body? You clenched down so hard on me. God, you’re perfect. Did you know that? It was like your body was made for me.” He brought his left hand down to your breast to knead the flesh in his hand. “I want the neighbors to hear you, ______.” His right hand released from around your neck as he brought it down to your clit where he started to rub fast circles.

You cried out as your body jerked forward, but he kept you firmly against his chest. You felt the wet stickiness of your skin sticking to his own, but it only served to turn you on more. The harder he worked to bring you to the edge, the more you thought this might possibly kill you in the end. You heard more than felt Jungkook’s heavy breathing behind you as he did all the work fucking you into oblivion; his stamina was astounding you, never once did his pace inside of you falter.

“Are you going to come again? I want to feel you come around my cock, ______.”

All you could do was let out a sound that was a mixture of a moan and a sob as your head fell back against him.

“How do you feel, baby?” At this point he just had a steady squeeze on your breast, but his cock and fingers were doing all the work.

“God, I feel so good, Jungkook,” you moaned as you felt the sticky sweetness of his lips glide along your shoulder.

“Yea? Do you like the feeling of my cock filling you up? My fingers on your swollen clit?”

His words were having the right effect on you and he knew it. Jungkook continued whispering praises into your ear until you felt the rise of you next orgasm building in your body.

“Yes, yes, yes, that’s it, baby, come all over my cock like a good girl.” Jungkook increased the speed and pressure on your clit as your back arched off his body, your knees against the bed and Jungkook holding you the only thing keeping you stable. He also doubled the speed in which he fucked you until you were coming and crying out his name for all the building to hear.

“Fuck yes,” he moaned against you as his pace started to slow both inside of you and on your clit as he rode out your orgasm, you body spasming every now and again, his grasp still firm across your chest.

Your chest heaved against his arm and Jungkook removed his right hand to bring it to his mouth and slipped his fingers inside. You heard the crude sounds of him sucking his fingers clean.

“You taste so sweet, ______,” he said as he grabbed your chin, turning your face towards him to bring his mouth over yours in a messy kiss. You gasped into his mouth as the aftershocks of your orgasm continued to move through you. “Lay down.”

Jungkook helped you maneuver your body to lay back on the bed as he crawled over you lazily. He was easy and soft in his movements as he kissed your temple, cheekbone, and then lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

If it weren’t so dark, he would have seen you blush. “Thank you.”

“I mean it too, ______. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.”

He continued to kiss his way down your décolletage and then to the valley of your breasts before he was lazily drawing circles around your nipple with his tongue. You were thoroughly spent, but the feeling of his mouth had you keening under his touch once more. He drew it into his mouth and sucked while his hand was occupied on the other.

“You’re perfect,” he said as he kissed down your stomach before laying his tongue flat and licking once more up your slit like he had done before. “You taste so good after you come.” He licked and teased you so nonchalantly he acted as if this were just any other daily action to him. He didn’t stay long before he was crawling over you once more and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Just hold on a little longer,” he said quietly.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he entered you much slower this time. You felt a shudder go through his body when he was fully sheathed inside of you.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this feeling.” His voice sounded strained but fulfilled. This time it didn’t feel like he wanted to take this hard and fast, but a more leisurely pace. His breath shuttered against your neck once more as you felt the sweat slipping from his hair and onto your chest. The air between the both of you was hot, humid, and utterly addicting. Your lips skated the skin of this temple as his slow strokes pushed you further into the bed. The world lay quiet beyond his windows; people walked below on the streets going home from dinner, a small corner store owner was closing and turning around his open sign, but inside it was just the two of you whispering small confessions to one another as your bodies melded together. Jungkook’s tongue slid against the salty skin of your neck as he reached up and buried his hand in your hair, grounding his cock into you harder. He was close, his breathing became heavier and more frantic as his grip tightened in your hair. He was panting against your skin as his stomach came down on yours, sticking together from sweat as he moved only his hips against you.

“I’m so close,” he breathed against your skin.

“Come for me, Jungkook.” You sounded just as needy as your fingernails dug into the skin of his back. You wrapped your legs around him to draw him closer, spurring him on as he came with a growl into your skin. He thrust a few more times before his hips stammered and collapsed on top of you. He lazily kissed the side of your neck before pulling out and falling to his side. He chuckled lightly as he looked over at you.

“Something funny?” you laughed back.

“No, I just thought this would never happen in a million years.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re so out of my league.”

You laughed loudly this time. “Yea, okay.”

He pulled the condom off and threw it into the bedside trash before rolling back over to grab you and pull you towards him.

“I’m serious,” he muttered against the back of your neck.

“I’m also serious when I say that I’m out of your league.”

“Mmmm.” He nestled into your back and sighed heavily.

It was silent for a few minutes before you decided to speak.

“You’re a very attentive lover,” you said into the silence.

At first you thought maybe he had fallen asleep because he didn’t answer right away.

“What do you mean?” His grip on you tightened.

“Well…it’s almost like you had known my body from countless other times and, you know, you kept making sure I was okay and comfortable.”

You felt him sigh before he formulated his answer. “I try to pay attention in these situations. It isn’t, and never will be, all about me. There will always be one other person and I try to respect that. It’s important that you’re okay and feel good, but it’s also important that you feel safe. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard guys bragging about doing this, that, or the other to a girl and I’ve thought to myself, ‘Was she okay with that?’ because they just talk about it like the other person was dispensable. Nowadays, no one stops to think about anyone’s feelings besides their own and I don’t want to be that person. I know that as Daeun gets older she’s going to meet a lot of shitty people and I don’t want her to see her brother being one of them. As far as knowing your body, like I said, I pay attention; I ask questions and I always make sure you know you have an out. The way your body reacts is telling me what I should keep doing or stop. I am, and always will be verbal, with the people I sleep with.”

You respected that deeply. Never had you been with someone so concerned about the person they were with and it made you fall for him even more. His ‘always will be’ comment had you thinking that maybe other people were in his life in this capacity, but his possession of you earlier had you thinking otherwise, unless he only wanted you for himself.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

He needed to stop being that attentive.

“Where do we go from here?”

“Well, I was hoping I could take you on a second date,” he laughed.

“Are you seeing other people right now?”

His question had him up on his elbow and peering down at the side of your face. You turned to look at him and you could tell in the darkness that his eyebrows were furrowed.

“Why are you asking me that?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like the only one, but then sometimes the way you talk has me thinking otherwise.”

He snorted above you. “_______ I haven’t been with anyone since this massive crush started when we had class together. It just so happened that fate intervened in the bathroom last week.”

Butterflies erupted in your stomach after thinking that he had waited for this long.

“Now, are you staying here, or do I need to carry you back home?”

“Can I stay here?” You were hopeful and excited about the fact that you would get to sleep nestled in Jungkook’s arms tonight.

“Yes. Then you can stay the next day, and the day after that, then next week, and probably for the next few months.”

You giggled as he gathered you in his arms to place teasing, quick kisses to every part of your face.

“I’m going to love being with you, _______,” he whispered.

You smiled, a genuine smile as you said, “I’m going to love being with you too, Jungkook.”

[casualcatte]

RP Journal: 08/10/2020

Gods, it was good to finally get out and hunt again!  Granted, I was bringing Edgard Beaumont with me that might prove to be a mixed blessing, but I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He /was/ a Knight Dragoon, after all, surely he’s got some fighting skill and ability to track things.  How else does a dragonslayer slay dragons? Surely they don’t just laze around til one flies by them, that would be silly.

(( Courtesy cut for length.  Also, sorry about the lack of screenshots, this was all during maintenance. ))

I had Edgard meet me out in Yanxia at noon and he arrived precisely on time, he even carried some rope and a quarterstaff, instead of his usual spear. We weren’t out to kill these birds, only subdue them for an artist in Kugane. He wants to paint them, then will release them back into the wilds. Live-capture hunts are always a bit more of a challenge, it would make a fine test to see what Edgard was worth in the field. After all, I have no doubt he can fight, he’s fought dragons, for pity’s sake!  But taking a non-violent means to dealing with a problem? I think it would say volumes about who he is both as a person and a fighter.

I outlined my plan and he declared it sound, so we took ourselves out to the Glittering Basin where it was known for these bi-fangs to roam as their territory. Setting up a lookout point, it was just a matter of sighting the birds and seeing where they went to roost. 

I don’t think I’d been this relaxed in a long time. The day was warm, and Edgard -- while still very much Edgard -- was good company. He listened, followed directions, didn’t try to put me behind him for protection, or treat me like I didn’t know what I was doing. He trusted me and I trusted him.

Gods be good, we needed that trust today. No hunt is ever flawless, there are always unexpected things that happen that you have to adjust to or you either lose your quarry or you get hurt. That’s just the nature of the beast. I absolutely wasn’t expecting these bi-fangs to be a mated pair, much less a mated pair with a clutch of eggs. I think I’ll make it a point to mention that to Tetsuyo when I return to the Bounty Call. Most hunters I know have a great respect for nature, granted, we weren’t killing the pair but it was still taking them away from hatchlings that might otherwise die without them and their protection. 

Anyway, the hunt first. Edgard was probably the most serious I’ve seen him since I’ve known him; he was studious and attentive, asking questions about what to do or what to look for. He seemed genuinely interested in learning, so I did all I could to help him. It was here that he said he trusted me and for a moment I had to wonder why. What good will had I garnered with him to be someone he trusted with his life? I doubt it has anything to do with how skillful I am at evading his spurious advances. 

Knowing what I know now, I found it easier to be, well, at ease around him. To even play and flirt with him, give him a taste of his own medicine. It was fun and we laughed; I’m almost convinced I nearly made him blush a couple of times, but that’s neither here nor there.

The hunt!  Once we sighted the bi-fang pair, Edgard used his dragoon ability to jump us up to the cliff where the birds had made their roost. Naturally, I had to climb on Edgard’s back and he had to make a bunch of insinuations about it. Still he got us up to the roost in short order and that’s when we learned that we were facing two very angry parent bi-fang and their clutch of half a dozen chicks.

Thankfully, the chicks weren’t that grown, so they weren’t much of a threat. I used one of the Darkness arrows to blind the Papa Bird while Edgard kept Mama Bird busy until I could use one of my Net arrows. Edgard got scratched once, but didn’t seem any worse for wear for it. I’ll really have to thank that magitechnician for the arrows, they are the most clever thing I’ve seen in a long time. A pity I don’t remember his name, how will I ever have these made again once I run out?  As it stands, I’m out of the Net arrows after this.

I was just about to use my second Net arrow on Papa when he came flailing at me blindly. That’s also when one of the chicks in the nest decided I was a tasty snack and /bit/ me on the ankle. It was enough to startle me that I dropped the arrow and that split-second distraction won me a wing to the face as Papa Bird sent me flying off the cliff.

I won’t lie and say there wasn’t a moment of panic, because there was, but I’d prepared for this eventuality.  You fight aerial opponents, you’d best be prepared to take a long fall. Another of those magitek arrows deployed a light filament line that was stronger than any rope I’ve ever seen. I fired it into the cliffside and swung to safety, albeit the impact into the cliffside will leave me sore tomorrow. Even as I was dealing with my own plight, I saw Edgard get shoved off the cliffside as well by a headbutt from the Papa Bird. I know I didn’t have much time and that, for the moment, the dragoon seemed to have no way to save himself.

I gathered myself and ran back and forth along the cliff face to build momentum, then I swung out to catch him. Thank every God that he wasn’t wearing anything heavier than leather and chainmail. If he’d have been in drachenmail or full plate, we’d have been doomed. Or at least he would have.  I don’t think I could have held him. We only had moments to rest there, however, as Papa Bird began diving toward us, enraged enough to want to eviscerate us. 

This was the biggest moment of trust in this hunt. Edgard told me to let go of the rope and grab onto him. I knew he was about to /dragoon/ us out of there, but it was still a daunting proposition. Still, in for a penny in for a pound. It was either fall or die to the talons of the angry bi-fang. Falling seemed the least fatal of either option. I let go, still clutching to Edgard’s hand from where I’d caught him, I wrapped my other arm around his neck and squeezed my eyes shut. The way dragoon’s jump makes my stomach turn a flip, but it cleared us of the predatory swoop of the bi-fang and sent it sweeping past us. 

Edgard landed us on the ground and looked to me for a new plan as Papa Bird rounded on us to attack again. I was out of Net arrows by this point and none of the other arrows I had would do the trick. So, I opted to go with an alchemical solution. I pulled a sleeping draught from my pouches and waited. I couldn’t afford to miss. And I waited. 

Behind me, I could hear Edgard yelling my name. Was he worried? Frightened?  No, not Edgard. I stood there, letting the bi-fang get closer and closer, I could see the wicked curve of its talons, eager to rip me to shreds. Closer still.  I could feel the waves of … nerves?...emanating from Edgard. Still, I waited.

At the last possible moment, I threw the sleeping draught right in the beast’s face. It only took a matter of moments for it to clumsily land and fall over in a sleepy stupor. Edgard made his way over, unbidden with the rope to tie it up.

Hmph. He’d outshine me. Hunting has been my life for over twenty years, dragoon. You’re not going to outshine me at my own game.

Banter with him came easily now that I knew there was nothing to it. I teased him, I gave him as good as I got. There were moments I rendered him speechless or left him a stammering fool. I enjoyed every minute of it. Turning the tables on Edgard might become my new favorite pass-time. 

While he finished binding the bi-fang, I tended to the wound on his shoulder. It wasn’t much more than a scrape, but it was best not to leave it to fester. He’d done well, all-in-all, so I couldn’t really discredit his efforts as a hunter. With a bit more seasoning, he could probably hold his own. I told him as much, though he only very begrudgingly accepted the compliment. Under any other circumstance, Edgard would preen and claim it as my undying love for him, but on the matter of his skill as a hunter and his contributions, he wouldn’t.

He was in my world now, I couldn’t tell if the thrill of the hunt sat well with him or not. Gods only know I enjoyed every minute of it.  I even told Edgard he could soak in the hot spring with me, I’m sure he was convinced I’d hit my head somewhere along the line. 

This was a really good way to end his time in Kugane. He goes on to Ishgard the day after tomorrow and said he expects to see me there soon. I’ve some things of my own to wrap up before I leave Kugane, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t threaten to bypass Ishgard altogether and just go straight to Tailfeather because he /expected/ me in Ishgard. 

I tasked him with sending the Mama Bird back to the client via some magical aetheryte-like crystals we’d been given.  Activate them on the birds and they would appear in cages where the client waited with payment, better than trying to haul them back by hand. Once done with that, Edgard planned to go back to Kugane and I headed to Yanxia to hire some locals to tend to the chicks until Mama and Papa come back.

All-in-all, it was a good night and a fun time. Sure, I have a few bumps and bruises, but I can’t name a hunt I’ve gone on and come out completely unscathed.  I either get scratched up by brush and trees, injured by the beast, or /something/.  It’s just part and parcel of the Hunt. It reminds me I’m /alive./

My friendship with Edgard, at least for my own part of it, feels as if a great weight has been taken off me and I don’t feel the need to be so guarded. He has no further motives than just having a moment’s distraction. Like me, he has issues of his own to deal with before he seriously considers anything with anyone, which I’m honestly glad to hear him say. Primarily that he /plans/ to deal with them. I could care less who he sleeps with.

It was a good day, it really was. I needed it after a week of indolence. It felt /so/ good to get back out there and do what I love. And the best part of it is that it’ll have garnered me enough reputation with the Veteran Centurio to get the information I need. 

One step closer... Mentions @therpperson​ for Edgard Beaumont

[elmidol]

Stripped Once More

Three Blind Tooke Part Two Precarious Harmony

Read on AO3

Warnings: slight death wish, memories of sexual assault

Three Blind Tooke

Part Two: Precarious Harmony

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Stripped Once More

They were such haunting words, those three syllables that replayed themselves in your mind over the duration of the night cycle. The one who had said them easily fell into a peaceful sleep, and you found yourself watching him. The games of make-believe that he played—that you played right along with him—threatened to wear at the walls you had managed to put up. The same walls that had been in a constant state of repair since the creature you had once hunted had opted to save you from the fire. You could not remember exactly when you had last thought of that fateful day, that precise moment, and felt a sense of absolute longing for the flames that would have devoured you. Dying is so easy, you recalled your father telling you. Hot shame rushed through your body, constricting your chest and strangling your next breath to where it wracked your frame when at last it found release.

You missed the monster that had lifted you out from underneath the bodies of your fallen comrades, lamented over his evolution into this man beside you. This, above all else, terrified you.

Your fingers danced along the scars on your body, meanwhile your eyes traced the ones that were on his body. The darkness disallowed the opportunity to fully see those healed and healing injuries. Light was unnecessary for you, however. You had his body memorized as assuredly as he had committed even the most minor of imperfections your flesh sported to his mind. This familiarity was intimate as well. It drove deeper the three words he had said to you. Why you had pressed for him to say them, you could not fully say. A part of you had wondered if he was even capable of uttering that phrase without perverting it with falsehood.

He did not love you in the way he would allow himself to when he had overthrown the Supreme Leader. In the present, Kylo Ren continued to hold you at arm’s length, not allowing himself to fully commit to the tumultuous feelings that stirred within him for you. Those sentiments that had prompted him to purchase the tooke hairclip, the book he had later torn into pieces. You ran your thumbs along the undersides of your ring fingers. The tattoos were not quite as dark as they had once been, although this hardly surprised you. The hands were used too often for the ink to remain as much as it would on other limbs and extremities.

The fantasies you had humored in regards to Ben Solo were now tainted with the knowledge that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo truly were the same person; it was nothing more than a name. You had called him Ben, and he had not magically transformed into the son of General Organa who had been with the Light. You had called him Kylo Ren, and he responded the same. Supreme Leader—you shuddered.

I love you.

You twisted around, your back to the slumbering man as you slid your foot out from underneath the blankets. You dangled it, all the while thinking of the creature from the tales of your childhood, the one that lived underneath the bed. You could feel the breath of the fictitious monster tickling your toes.

When you awoke—maker knew how long it had been before you had at last lost consciousness and slept—the bed no longer held the body of Kylo Ren. You had no desire to remain on the piece of furniture either, not with the memories of the previous night that it was threatening to replay over and over. You spent a good ten minutes sitting on the floor of the shower after you had washed your body and hair then shaved. You had your knees drawn towards your chest, your arms wrapped around them and head bowed enough so that the spray of water hit the top of your head rather than your face. The drain gurgled on occasion.

General Hux, too, would want to eventually kill Supreme Leader Snoke. You passively wondered how and when he hoped this would occur. The man was an excellent strategist, a skilled tactician.

The Resistance was not yet defeated. Perhaps that was what the redhead was waiting for. Or there was also the chance that the creature that served as Kylo Ren’s master was more powerful than you could imagine. He would not be so easily defeated. Should General Hux learn at all of Kylo Ren’s plans to lure Rey, you doubted that Hux would stand in his way. He likely viewed Rey as a pawn as well, someone who could rid him of Snoke and Ren alike. You pitied the woman you had never met, how so many viewed her as nothing more than a tool. Then flinched when realizing that you, too, were doing so. You were allowing it to happen.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered in unison with the drain releasing another gurgle.

You pushed yourself up off the floor, shut off the water, and stepped out of the refresher with a towel wrapped around your body. Some of the droplets that clung to your body fell to the ground with each step you took. You grabbed an outfit that had been provided to you from the wardrobe. It consisted of predominately black material, the minute amount of red reminding you of the Resistance. You traced two fingers along the seams near the red. It brought to mind the flash of red you had seen when Kylo Ren’s lightsaber had pierced you. That was the first thing he had sought to violate your body with. The first time he had taken away your willpower, the ability to think and act for yourself.

It was not difficult for you to picture this faceless young woman, Rey, by the man’s side as his comrade. Both wielding red plasma blades while wearing black. She the new Master of the Knights of Ren. He the new Supreme Leader.

You recoiled from your own thoughts, shaking your head to rid yourself of those mental images while you dried off your body with the towel then pulled on the clothes.

Killing General Hux at this point in time would be of no benefit to you. As many Resistance members as he had killed—and as much as you loathed him for being the one to order the firing of Starkiller, the one who had caused your mother’s death—you needed him. That fact stung just as harshly as the truth behind Kylo Ren’s utterance that he loved you.

When you crossed paths with the red-haired man in one of the hallways, you did not fail to notice the cut on his lip nor the way his hair was not quite as smooth as it usually was. General Hux narrowed his eyes upon noticing you, upon seeing the way you were assessing his appearance. This did not feel, to you, to be of Kylo Ren’s doing. You sincerely doubted many would be so bold as to attack the First Order General—the man’s subordinates would not be so foolish or suicidal. Which left Supreme Leader Snoke as the culprit. You felt bile rising in your throat at the thought of how much power the man wielded.

“Tooka,” the man said softly by way of greeting. His tone was less stern than you had believed it would be. There were some in the Resistance who were reckless when it came to amassing casualties. The ends justified the means. You wanted to believe, even still, that none would ever be as cold as General Armitage Hux.

There is no Resistance. 

It was Ren’s voice that was in your head again. His whispers, the ghost sensation of his hands upon you, his breath by your ear.

That voice was drowned out by the sounds of General Hux once more speaking to you. “I don’t recall ever finding you to be so…distracted.” The hint of wonder in his voice caused you to take a single step back in retreat. Those cold, blue eyes swept along your body. “If you are in pain… Your mind can be sharpened when your body cannot.”

He had ulterior motives for encouraging you. Not only to find a means of destroying Kylo Ren; he did want to destroy Snoke. There was hatred in his gaze, cruel and unyielding; a remnant of what he had felt when interacting with another. Humility. The light flush that stained his cheeks suddenly became noticeable for you. This man had killed your mother, and so you felt no pity for him. That did not mean you wanted him broken, not like this. You reined in your anger and hurt, swallowing both those two things and your pride before allowing yourself to speak.

“I’ve been trying to study Sith lore.”

“Ren is not a Sith,” the man drawled, his eyebrows drawing towards one another. “Though he may entertain some ideology derived from the Sith, he also dabbles in the arts of the Jedi. I’ve had to listen to both him and Snoke discuss such things… We can use one another, tooka.”

Whatever blow Snoke had dealt to the man’s pride, it was enough to have him drop some of the contempt he held for you on the basis that you were Resistance. He was treating you similarly to how things had been prior to your will being stripped away while you were taken to meet with your mother. Those times in the redhead’s quarters, playing chess, petting Millicent. That had been before you had learned of your father’s death, of your mother’s. Before you had died—blissful death, with you standing beside your father. You wanted, more than anything, to believe that that moment with him had been real. No matter how painful it had been, that he had released your hand in order for you to return to life.

“I’m becoming a monster,” you said breathlessly before you could stop yourself. In front of you, General Hux allowed his eyelids to slowly, briefly descend. Him blinking at you was what drove in the nail that you had admitted to your fears in front of your enemy.

“The most terrifying monsters,” your father had once told you, “are those who do not realize they are monsters.”

You blindly grasped at anything that resembled hope. This girl from Jakku, Rey. Rather than hold tightly onto the hope she represented, you had instead agreed to work with Kylo Ren to use her as a tool. She should not be pulled away from Luke Skywalker, you told yourself. No… She should learn from him. To be drawn here to Kylo Ren would be her downfall if you helped the man who had claimed to love you. Aside from killing Snoke, how did your actions benefit the Resistance, the galaxy? If she helped to slay the current Supreme Leader only to join Kylo Ren, at that point the war would be lost. The First Order—Kylo Ren—would win.

The gravity of your monstrous deeds hit you. You fell to your knees and squeezed your eyes closed whilst swearing. Not only was Kylo Ren properly manipulating Rey and bending her to his will, he was doing the same to you. Convincing you to work with him, no doubt crowing in victory when you missed how he was corrupting you, dragging you away from the morals that had been instilled in you by your parents and the Resistance alike.

It ran through your mind, how Kylo had mentioned Rey's weaknesses. He had been in her head just as he had been in yours. Ben Solo. Compassion. Anything else that would break Rey's spirit and lure her into joining Kylo Ren—and thus, also, the First Order—the Force user knew these things. It was identical to the fact that he knew your weakness. Your desire to one day be loved when all those dear to you had already perished. You, whose future was fractured, had been played... Worse still, that Kylo Ren did love you on some level. That he could relate to Rey on another. The genuineness mingled with the manipulation. Maker, it ached more than death itself had. General Hux, who also had his own plans for you, squatted long enough to seize your upper arm and pull you back onto your feet. You swayed in place, bumping against his body. You felt unlovable, and in some respects you wished you were. Few things registered in your head as you were led away. You did nothing to slow Hux's progress. The one thing that managed to stick was that you knew you were being taken to the man's quarters. The change in scenery was a welcome one. Where Ren's quarters were sparsely decorated and furnished, General Hux had a few military awards and Millicent's items. The ginger tabby cat rolled onto her back while stretching forth a single paw in greeting. You were discarded into a chair, upon which you curled up. Your fingers stretched then curled in alteration as you tried to will something into existence that you could hold onto. Something that was beyond Kylo Ren. The tooke hairclip and electronic toy had been from him, and so you shuddered at the thought of touching them. "The Resistance is a mere speck that will soon join the New Republic as nothing more than a sad, small part of history." He enunciated his words carefully as he normally did. The man did enjoy listening to himself speak. You peeked up from your lap and stared at him through the wetness that had gathered in your eyes. General Hux was already returning your gaze. He lowered a hand to stroke the top of Millicent's head. "Your mission had always been to destroy Ren, isn't that correct?" Though you nodded in response, you felt a wave of uncertainty bubbling forth. "What do you plan to do when the Resistance is no more? You will seek to end his life—but what then?" It was a question you had asked yourself from time to time, albeit in your head the Resistance had been victorious rather than the First Order. As much as you despises considering this outcome, you knew now that it would be foolish not to given how things were running their course. You had told yourself so often that it was your duty to slay monsters. There would always be monsters. Whether the Resistance won, whether the First Order slaughtered the remainder of your allies, they would exist. You could not kill them all. You had failed to kill the one who now claimed to love you. You wished he did not love you, because you could then convince yourself, if he corrupted Rey, that he was no human at all. That he had worn his flesh as a guise to beguile you. "I...have nowhere to go," you admitted. You were the guest of Kylo Ren. You were the prisoner of the First Order. Upon Ren's death, there was only the latter. In the case of his survival, you would eternally be the former. You were not stupid enough to think for a moment that Kylo Ren would allow you to leave him. His was a selfish love.

Rather than clinging onto the hope that Rey represented, you had allowed Kylo Ren to convince you to corrupt it. This hit you as hard as it had the first time the realization had dawned.

“You won't win,” you said defiantly, as much for yourself as for the man to whom the words were directed. General Hux barked out a laugh at your response. “The Resistance will never die!”

“That may be, tooka; however, it will also never win.” You snarled in disgust at his words, a reply ready on your lips. You were not give the chance to say anything more. “Your father trained you to survive in the New Republic. He thought to prepare you for the possibility of war. Mine? Tooka, my father made my life a war. I have fought since the day I was born, and I will not allow some silly little girl to delude herself into believing her views are superior. Neither of us is an idiot. Snoke will be dealt with first—second, if you include the Resistance. Then Ren. Either you or I will be the one to defeat him if it comes down to it. Once Skywalker and the girl are dead. At that point: What. Will. You. Do? What then?”

You shook your head. “I…don’t know.”

“You are the best type of tool, tooka, because you are willing to die. I’m going to use you. When you’ve outlived your worth, you will die along with the rest of your kin.” Here he took a single step towards you. “Unless you remain useful to me.”

Your stomach churned at his words. His proposal was quite similar to that of Kylo Ren’s with the exception that this man had no love for you. He would indulge himself with your body again if given the chance; as he had said, you were no idiot. You would always be an expendable tool for him. General Hux simply wished for you to be an expendable tool that was on his side. You would never betray the Resistance in that manner, you told yourself. You would not join the First Order.

It was laughable for you to think such things when just the night before you had referred to Kylo Ren by the title Supreme Leader. You had imagined yourself by his side.

Again did your eyes roam along his split lip. His words repeated themselves; you imagined Brendol Hux beating his son, breaking him repeatedly while your father had sought to build you up. Both Armitage Hux and Kylo Ren had experiences that made them drastically different than you. And the girl, Rey, as well. From what little Ren had shared with you, you understood. If General Hux was willing to take you for an ally, he would not be opposed to accepting Rey as well.

You twisted your body, leaning against the back of the chair while allowing yourself to look at the semi-familiar surroundings. He had brought you here to calm you, to speak with you. The manipulative and controlling nature of his words nudged at your conscious. Your gaze darted to him. General Hux had not looked away from you.

“Snoke wishes to see you,” the redhead said, as though at last ready to reveal things. Such as why he had been in the hallway. You felt the muscles in your legs tense; he had been on his way to grab you. The warnings from the past made themselves known; General Hux knew that Snoke would attempt to dissuade his apprentice from having feelings for you. Not to kill you, or at least not yet. The act of patricide had left a scar on Kylo Ren. If the Supreme Leader of the First Order successfully broke you, or else convinced Kylo Ren to kill you, you would no longer be any use to the redhead whose quarters you were in. It was for selfish reasons that he had brought you here to recover from your emotional outburst. “It will be in person this time, tooka.”

There was a semblance of pity in his expression, and you accepted that it was out of commiseration. He was no stranger to Snoke’s cruelty. You gulped down what saliva had gathered in your mouth then gave a nod of acceptance. Having fully recovered at last, you rose onto shaky feet. General Hux took the lead, and you were only two steps behind him. Exiting his quarters, you found yourself wishing you had thought to pet Millicent. A silly thought, a useless gesture… Not useless, you told yourself. It was a gesture of hope.

You had endured while in the care of General Hux and Kylo Ren alike. You refused to allow Snoke to break you.

Officers and stormtroopers alike stepped out of the way when their paths crossed with yours. There was a small transport shuttle prepared that would take you from the Finalizer to the Supremacy. Your heart lurched into your chest as you beheld the larger ship. You had seen it through the viewports. Now that you were arriving at it, however, you were in awe of its size.

There were more personnel aboard, all of which glanced your way with a high level of contempt. You would have preferred the expressions to remain as such rather than turn into cruel smirks of delight the deeper into the Supremacy that you were taken. They knew you had been summoned by Snoke. No doubt they hoped to hear of your suffering. You, a Resistance member—former or present, it did not matter. You were their enemy and your pain brought them delight. That you wore no bindings did not make them nervous. You were trailing behind General Hux. There were blasters on every person, blasters that would be trained on you if you moved out of line.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the throne room was the color red. This you had constantly attempted to associate with the Resistance even after you had seen the lightsaber on the battlefield. The guards in the room also wore red, their armor similar yet with differences from one another. Your pace slowed. General Hux, in contrast, did not slow in the least. His arms were crossed behind his back, right wrist cupped in his left hand. The being upon the throne wore gold. His laughter was colder than anything you had heard in the past.

You stumbled in your next step, which caused the laughter to increase. “You’re as stubborn as I remember,” Supreme Leader Snoke said with a chuckle. You frowned at his words, clenching your teeth at the memory of when you had spoken to the enlarged hologram. That was when he had offered you the chance to willingly work with him. To shame your mother. You had refused. Now you could see him in a shade other than blue. His pale flesh. Those teeth that were bared in his grin. Your entire existence amused him.

Snoke rose from the throne, and General Hux immediately stopped walking, his frame growing rigid.

You found that you could not bring yourself to walk either when Snoke took a step in your direction. The red-armored guards altered their stance. You could see their weapons in your peripheral, yet you could not tear your gaze away from the Supreme Leader of the First Order. This was who had trained Kylo Ren. This was the one you hoped Kylo and Rey could kill together.

“It is disappointing that you have no capabilities with the Force,” Snoke said. He angled his body, one shoulder dropping as he tilted his head and stared down at you. “So stubborn. And your training—even that did not allow the others to survive my apprentice’s blade.” As he spoke, he was chuckling. The amusement had died away. The words were genuine; had you possessed Force sensitivity, you would have been even more at this man’s mercy. “As it is, you have proven useful…until he wandered to you rather than remaining here.”

You knew what he was speaking of. The moment Kylo Ren had felt the connection with Rey, he had gone to you. Did this mean that Snoke was aware of the connection? You refused to mention it on the off chance that he was not. Regardless, you doubted that General Hux was privy to this information.

Snoke turned, walking—pacing, you noted when he took another step. He gestured carelessly in the air with his hand. “He returned.” Another chuckle. “You need not look around for him, he isn’t here.” You barely caught the twitch of his finger before you were yanked forward. You landed on your hands in knees in front of him. You stared at the ground with wide eyes, your heart racing in your chest. “You, however, will be kept here. Take her to his quarters.”

You should have known better than to expect Snoke to reveal his full intentions to you. Two of the guards marched your way. Another flick of a finger from the Supreme Leader, and you were on your feet, your upper arms seized by those who would escort you. They shoved at you, turning you. One of the red-armored individuals stepped in front of you while the other remained behind. You did not protest them leading you. General Hux met your eyes; he had predicted this, which is one reason he was not displeased. He wanted you on the Supremacy while he remained on the Finalizer. He wanted you to be his eyes here.

Ren’s quarters aboard the Supremacy were larger. Only a little less bleak; black and white with hints of red. The table that was across from the bed was something two people could sit at. The guards did not remain with you. The moment you entered, they closed the door. You could hear a code being input on the other side. You were once more a prisoner of the First Order—of Snoke, specifically.

This was felt deeply, for as you looked around the empty room, you realized that you had left the tooke hairclip and digital pet aboard the Finalizer. You once more had nothing. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you stood in the center of Ren’s quarters while being hit with the knowledge that you did not have any of your clothes either. Snoke had effectively stripped away some of the foundations that had been the relationship between you and Kylo. The solitude. The small gifts and gestures. The familiarity of the Finalizer.

You could not even grab onto the helmet of Darth Vader for something to hold. In here, there was nothing.

And you could practically feel Snoke watching you. Whether it was through the Force, even if it was nothing more than your paranoid mind, you felt a violation similar to when Kylo Ren had torn through your memories.

There were no ashes in this room either. What a terrible thing to miss, you thought. It had never dawned on you how much comfort you had been given by the remnants of your comrades. A reminder that they were real—had been real, that what you were fighting for, you hadn’t been fighting alone. You felt far more shattered by Snoke’s act of having you trapped here than by the idea that Kylo Ren loved you despite all that had occurred.

I can be a monster, you thought, cupping the back of your neck with both of your hands. I will help Ren bring Rey here. I will… I will make sure Snoke dies. At what cost? But… But, if I do nothing…

Your yearning for death, for the end of this pain and the reunion with your parents, made itself known like a punch to your gut. You lowered yourself onto the floor, sitting there. It was not death, you noted. It was not that that you wanted. It was your father. You wanted him to help you, to tell you how to make it through all of this. Your father had taught you many things, but most importantly he had taught you to never give up. He had informed you of the ugliness in the world so that you would not become jaded when you encountered it.

You were surrounded by monsters that wanted you to join them. General Hux. Kylo Ren. Snoke. How many others? It doesn’t matter.

If Kylo Ren was not a Sith, you doubted that Snoke was considered to be one. He was strong in the Force, this was true. As for what he was, you did not know. And a large part of you did not care.

Any person, really, was a monster in the eyes of someone else. Admitting that to yourself hurt, while at the same time you felt a sense of relief. Peace. Had you not already told Kylo Ren that you had known you were something of a monster? You fought them. At the time of your death, you would—I love you. You flinched, pushing your palms flat against the floor so that you slid backwards. Your back hit the bedframe.

You forced yourself to remember once more how Kylo Ren had taken away your willpower. You called to mind the physical and emotional aches that had resulted from you being compelled to, as he had put it, desecrate yourself on his weapon. You touched your lower belly, your hand threatening to shift lower. You had scarred there, too. The injuries had not required stitches, no. But you had torn; your body had not been prepared for the intrusion. Had your mind not been influenced by his will, you believed that you would have torn worse. You would have been struggling.

This was the past he wanted you to let die.

Strangely…cruelly… Snoke had murdered a part of that past. No tooke hairclip, the one thing that had been yours. A small token. The first indication that you had meant anything to Ren. He thought of you even when away. Was he thinking of you now? You hated it, that your mind was on him. Not only because of the training you had received in the Resistance. This was something more…sentimental.

When the door to Kylo Ren’s quarters opened, you expected to see the man himself, if not a droid. You thus scrambled backwards and up onto your feet when the Supreme Leader entered. Behind him were two of the red guards. No, you noted; four. The set that entered behind him, and a pair who remained on the other side when the door slid closed. Whatever he planned to do, it was not something he wished General Hux to see—or hear.

“I knew that you would bring him further into the Dark. Passion has that effect.” His grin was as cruel as it had been in the throne room. You found yourself frozen in place by the Force. It terrified you that Snoke did not need to use any gestures. This spoke volumes about his power. The tall man stepped ever closer to you until he was able to touch the side of your face. You would have been trembling in fear if not for being force to remain still. “The jealousy he felt in regards to how your…father…treated you. What he had never had.

“And the conflict within him, that he wanted to take from you—a compulsion he had never felt before. The need to have power over you, to make you his. I knew you would try to kill him. Whether you fought against him or gave into him, you led my apprentice further into the Darkness, away from the idea that rejoining the flawed ideology of his parents would be anything but the fool’s errand that it is.

“You impressed me—attracting the general’s attention. I hardly had to put in more work to drive the wedge between them further. How well you’ve worked out for me.”

He had come here to gloat. He had come here…and instilled a sense of disgust over everything you had done with Ren. Not the moments wherein the two of you had acted as enemies. Snoke’s words were sullying the more tender interactions, the glimpses into Ren’s humanity.

“Ben Solo…and you…and, in time, the girl… All handed to me by the Resistance. Light is needed to build the tools that best thrive in the Dark.” Snoke pulled his hand away from you. “Skywalker will fall. The general has your Resistance on a thread. I look forward to seeing Kylo Ren fall further into the Dark… I am curious if you will at last break—be it death, or realizing that the order I will bring has always been the better choice.”

[sinfulwonders]

👀

Alright here is a portion of a longer series I had planned. I have about 7000 words of it done, and I think it’s about halfway completed. Here’s the first 1500 words or so of it. I like the idea, so if y’all are interested I’ll post the rest of what I have and continue to work on it.

An Error

53 seasons in and you’d think Team Danganronpa would have perfected the flashback light technology. And they thought they had. But as Tsumugi Shirogane watched Shuichi Saihara stumble and fall, fainting in a heap on the ground, she knew that something had gone very wrong. 

Shuichi awoke, feeling soft linens surrounding him. He arose, finding a few of his fellow killing game inmates standing over him. He looked around to realize he was no longer in the dining hall, but rather his own room.

“Hey, my sidekick is finally awake!” Kaito beamed down at the boy.

“Y-yes. What happened?” Shuichi stuttered.

“We used the flashback light…” Kiibo looked down at the ground as he began to speak, “Do you remember anything Saihara-kun?”

Shuichi gasped as he was hit with a flood of memories.

“A-a funeral! For us!” He stammered, breathing heavily.

Kaito nodded, “We faked our deaths to get away from the ultimate hunt apparently.”

Shuichi scanned the room, eyes running over the faces of the people that came to check on him. All solemn.

“I-I think that’s all I remember,” Shuichi decided, wracking his brain for more.

He could have sworn he saw Tsumugi’s lips curl into a smile.

But he blinked and it was gone, only concern in her eyes, just the same as everyone else.

“Why did I faint?” Shuichi pondered aloud as he laid back down.

“You were the only one.” Maki stated bluntly.

Shuichi blushed a little at that, “Well…I’m sorry for worrying you all.”

“No, you’re fine, bro! But we’ll leave you to get some rest!” Kaito gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and the group exited.

Shuichi was alone. He quickly drifted off to sleep.

 “I’ll always be with you. I’ll protect you. K-”

A flash of lavender. A burst of light.

“Agh!” Shuichi burst from his blankets, sweat dripping down his face, “Was that a dream?” He wondered aloud.

“RISE AND SHINE URSINE!”

Shuichi jumped a second time as the morning announcements played. He felt exhausted, like he hadn’t slept at all. He groaned and made his way to the dining hall.

He entered to see the normal hustle and bustle of the last couple days.

Although it is much less organized than when Kirumi was still around-

Shuichi silently chastised himself for thinking about the former maid’s recent death.

Just get something to eat.

He made his way into the kitchen, opting for a couple of pieces of toast and a small glass of orange juice. He leaned against the counter and closed his eyes, sighing as he waited for the toaster to relinquish his bread at last.

POP!

He plated his bread after spreading a light layer of jam over the pieces. He turned around to head back to the kitchen, but stopped as Kokichi Oma stood directly in front of him.

“Promise you’ll stay with me?” Kokichi asked, a tear threatening to fall from his eye.

“W-what?” Shuichi took a step back.

He looked so small. So innocent. So honest. And strangely enough, younger.

“I asked if you had brain damage from hitting your head yesterday, but I guess I got my answer!” Kokichi’s face was curled into a devious grin.

The tears were nowhere to be seen. Kokichi stood there with his confident posture and cocky attitude just as he usually did. Just the normal Supreme Leader that Shuichi knew.

What was that?

Kokichi frowned, his brow furrowing slightly with concern as he examined Shuichi’s fearful expression, “Saihara-chan, what’s wrong?”

Shuichi snapped back to Kokichi, and he made his face as neutral as possible, “N-nothing.”

He held onto his plate tighter as he hurried out of the kitchen.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow at the boy, “Interesting…” he whispered.

 Shuichi tried his best to listen to Kaito and Maki’s conversation, but his mind was racing and his head kept pounding. He kept hearing it over and over again. Kokichi’s voice, so much weaker than his usual as he said, “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

“I’ll always be with you. I’ll protect you. Ko-”

Shuichi felt a knock on his head, “W-what?”

“Earth to Shuichi! Are you tryin’ to go to space before me?” Kaito teased.

“Space?” Shuichi frowned in confusion.

Kaito sighed, “Cuz your head is already in the clouds. Man you’re really out of it today, Sidekick.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess my head still hurts a bit from yesterday,” Shuichi apologized, “I think I’m going to go lie down.”

Kaito and Maki gave him concerned looks, “Let us know if you need anything.”

Shuichi smiled and made his way slowly to his room.

 He glanced down a hallway as he walked and stopped dead in his tracks.

“S-Saihara-kun…”

“Mmm…what is it?”

Shuichi stared, flabbergasted, as he saw Kokichi and himself leaned against the wall of the hallway. Kokichi was pressed against the wall, breath ragged and face flushed as the other Shuichi held him there. They were wearing dark school uniforms, both similar except for Kokichi’s being untucked. Shuichi began to work at the buttons as he attacked the boy’s neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking, leaving several marks.

“S-someone’s going to s-see,” Kokichi panted through moans.

Shuichi’s eyes widened as he saw the evil looking grin on the other Shuichi’s face, “Let them. Let everyone know that you’re mine.”

Kokichi moaned and Shuichi purred into his ear, eyes tinted with animalistic lust. Shuichi barely caught what he said.

“I own you Kokichi Oma.”

Shuichi turned away from the hallway and ran, blindly, away, still hearing passionate moans behind him.

He didn’t stop running until he got to his dorm. He slammed the door shut and plopped on his bed, face buried in a pillow. He felt so dirty for watching that scene unfold. So dirty for imagining it.

But why did it feel so real?

He hadn’t realized that he thought that way about Kokichi. He had thought of the supreme leader as a nuisance, a danger, and even a potential ally, but after seeing that fantasy(?), he couldn’t get the purple haired leader out of his head. He pushed his blushing face further into the pillow.

Maybe it was something to do with the flashback light. But these couldn’t be memories. We were so different in them.

Shuichi contemplated until sleep overcame him.

He awoke with a jolt, a click rousing him from his sleep. He looked up to see the supreme leader himself standing over him.

“Oma-kun!?” Shuichi cried out, a little unsure if he was about to be murdered.

“Nyeheehee!” cackled the leader, “Good afternoon, Saihara-chan!”

Shuichi shot the boy an irritated glare, “What are you doing in my room?”

Kokichi gave him his best impression of innocent puppy dog eyes, “I knocked! But there was no answer! I came in here to make sure you were alive!” He smirked at the detective, “And this is the thanks I get?”

Shuichi rolled his eyes, turning over on his side to face away from the boy.

“Waaaaiiiit!” Kokichi feigned crocodile tears as he wailed, “I have something important to show you!”

Shuichi slowly turned back towards Kokichi. His eyes gleamed.

“Nyehehe, ever the detective!” He grabbed the detective’s hand, pulling him out of bed.

At his touch Shuichi instantly felt hot, recalling the scene in the hallway earlier. He jolted back, recoiling from him.

Kokichi’s face went blank, just observing him passively.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” Shuichi stammered.

Shuichi stood on his own, towering over the small boy in front of him.

“S-Saihara-kun…” Kokichi’s lustful voice echoed in his head from earlier, and Shuichi flushed a deep red.

He desperately wanted to slam the boy against the wall and take him right now. Ravage him until all he could do was scream his name.

“Saihara-kun!”

Shuichi breathed heavier as his eyes bore into the widened Kokichi’s.

“What is going on?!” Shuichi screamed, causing to Kokichi to flinch, slowly taking two steps back.

“What are you talking about?” Kokichi asked, voice gentler than he ever thought it could be.

“E-ever since the f-flashback light, I’ve been seeing things… Things that don’t fit with my other memories…” Shuichi stammered slowly.

“What are you seeing?” Kokichi probed a little further.

Shuichi glanced up, Kokichi’s hair no longer had the purple tips and his uniform was plain and dark. His face was red, eyes half-lidded and needy.

Shuichi blinked quickly, shaking his head, and he was back to normal.

He stood shaking, staring at the purple eyed boy in front of him.

“…Y-you.”

Shuichi felt his world go black.

-----

Kokichi was curled up in the fetal position, whimpering. Helpless. Seemingly endless faceless forms kicked and taunted the small boy.

He wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. I have to save him.

The sounds of skidding feet and smacking of fists were all around me. I couldn’t register that I was the one punching.

Thud after thud, and then the skittering of cowards. Fleeing.

Warmth. Pink. Blood sliding down my fist and face.

“Saihara-kun…why?” The gorgeous violet eyes made it worth it.

I collapsed, taking in the small boy in my arms. Cradling him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“I’ll protect you, Kokichi.”

“Saihara-chan?” Shuichi flickered his eyes open, finding himself on the ground and Kokichi standing over him, “I don’t think I’m the one that needs protecting right now…” He observed, with a small grin on his face.

“What?” Shuichi blinked, slowly rising to his feet once more.

“You said ‘I’ll protect you!’” Kokichi giggled, “Pretty cute if you ask me! Does my Saihara-chan care about me?”

Shuichi turned beet red and tried to ignore Kokichi’s teasing, “How long have I been out?”

“Oh just a couple days.”

“A couple days?!” Shuichi cried, suddenly in a panic.

“Nyeheehee! It’s a lie! Don’t worry it’s just been a few minutes,” Kokichi laughed as Shuichi grew calmer.

“O-oh. Good,” Shuichi sighed.

“Wow you were so quick to believe me, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi beamed, “What if that second statement was a lie?”

Shuichi frowned, “I guess I just trust that you’ll be kinder to me in this state…After all, I’ve fainted twice in two days.”

Kokichi grinned.