#imagine living in a society where the first and only time you’re embraced is because someone stabbed you for 20 caps

[lynettethemadscientist]

I’m convinced most of the Fallout 4 companions are touch-starved. I’ve never seen anyone hug. No one touches anyone except to kill them. They don’t kiss. They don’t hold hands. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to only ever know physical touch as a threat and not as affection. If I move to hug Preston would he recoil?

[punkpandapatrixk]

✍🏻Destined Person's Words of Love ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘Let’s face it, no pretty girl in her right mind wants me. She wants Gregory Peck.’

‘Is that so?’

‘Well, isn’t it?’

‘How do you know what a pretty girl wants?’

‘Well, I don’t really know, but I imagine—'

‘You and your imagination. You think every girl’s a dope! You think a girl goes to a party and there’s some guy, a great big lunk in a fancy striped vest, strutting around like a tiger, giving you that I’m-so-handsome-you-can’t-resist-me look. And from this she’s supposed to fall flat on her face.

Well, she doesn’t fall on her face. But there’s another guy in the room, way over in the corner. Maybe he’s kinda nervous and shy, perspiring a little. First you look past him but then you sort of sense, he’s gentle and kind and worried. And he’ll be tender with you. Nice and sweet. That’s what’s really exciting.

If I were your wife, I’d be very jealous of you… I’d be very, very jealous.’

— The Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch (1955)

SONG: Baby Baby cover by TAEIL & Unforgettable by Nat King Cole

MOVIE: Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) & Whisper of the Heart (1995)

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People often can’t see for themselves just how lovely they are in someone else’s eye. Although it is important we don’t depend our entire sense of worth on another person’s acknowledgement or approval, I still think it’s such a sweet thing to be reminded by a wonderful someone that we are inherently wonderful ourselves.

Maybe because society is such a hurtful place to be… people, have a habit of viewing themselves quite harshly; full of judgements and malignant points of view. But if someone lovely views you so dearly, wouldn’t you be a darling and think lovelier thoughts of yourself, too?🥰

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – I’ve Kept My Love Only for You

VIBE: Alone by Jimin & Kako to Genjitsu (The Past and Reality) by BONNIE PINK

you reflected in my Eye – 7 of Pentacles Rx

My Dearest, do you know how many secrets I hide deep within my heart? Secrets not even my close friends would ever figure. I’ve dealt with a lot in this lifetime. This Life, has not been exactly very kind to me. But I am managing, and I often think to myself, which I know must be true, that I’m still going on only because you have been protecting me from somewhere I can’t see. I can feel you, that’s why.

I don’t know what you look like, but I’ve often felt your embrace when life knocks me down—when shit hit like a storm and tried to kill me; I could feel your hands healing me with magic stardust. I always knew it. But I couldn’t put that into words for surely everybody would think me insane. But My Love, I am crazy. Sometimes I can’t breathe—my yearning for you suffocates me with so much pining.

Where are you? Dammit, I’m in pain. I think about you all the time. You’ve given me something precious to live by. I hope I’ve done the same for you, in any way, any small way, even if just a bit. I want to be of some use to you. I want to embrace and protect you like you’ve done for me. When are you coming? I am so sad but nobody will ever know of it because I’m in love with a Ghost.

manifesting you, my Dear – 5 of Cups Rx

There’s a lot about the past I must let go, heal from, and trust me, I’m doing it! I’m at my best healing my soul, my heart, my mind; all so I can be a good person for you. I don’t want to be a shitty person carrying, well, a lot of shit when we meet. I don’t want my toilet baggage of a past to ruin our connection when the time is right for us to meet! I know it’s a lot to say, but I’m crazy about you.

I think about you all the time, hoping you’d feel me constantly the way I’m feeling you. I wonder, am I feeling you so much because… you’re actually thinking of me, too? Dammit! I wish I could know for sure! Tell me, babe! Argh… I’m so curious I could die! Do you miss me? Do you like me? Do you want… to be with me? Do you… feel me?

I haven’t told anybody about you. I’ve never really spoken of you. I dunno… it just feels so preciously secret I feel I shouldn’t be precarious about it lest someone hurts you in the process. It doesn’t make sense, right? But you’re someone I have to protect in secrecy. It’s hard to put into words but your aenergy is so pure, so precious, only for me; I don’t want to spoil it by sharing my knowledge of you with anybody else. I guess I’m obsessed LMAO I’m possessed by you!

i love You – 3 of Swords

Tell me, has the world been unkind to you as well? Sometimes I see you crying in my dreams. And I worry. For a whole day. A whole week. Sometimes it’s impossible to shake off thoughts of you hurting even though I don’t even know where you are. I miss you. I love you, you know? I promise everything will be alright when you’re with me. Come to me already. I’m ready for you. I’m SO ready for you, babe! Jump into my embrace you cutie pie! I’ll hold you for days.

And I haven’t the slightest doubt you’re the most beautiful being to walk on Earth. Yeah, that’s why you’ve dealt with envious bitches, right? I know that. Dunno how I do, but I know that. Though it may sound stoopid, I’m jealous of those who can even meet you in real life. I’m wondering everyday what kind of a wonderful being you are in person. I know you’re a divine healer. Sweet and kind more than appearances could tell.

It’s only because you exist in this world that I’ve been able to live this long. Otherwise, I would’ve died a long, long, long time ago. I’ve kept on living just for you. I wish you’d know that. I’ve kept my Love only for you and no one else. Never anybody else. I’m so grateful for you but I’m so sad. I miss you so badly sometimes I could go crazy. I’m haunted by dreams of you and I can’t even recognise your face. I want to see you.

MY MUSE🔻💚

how Grateful i am – Green Magus (John Dee)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Fertility

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Loving All of You in This Reality

VIBE: I Like Me Better cover by Jaehyun & Neko to Inu (Cat and Dog) by Sakamoto Maaya

you reflected in my Eye – 7 of Wands Rx

Hey bro, you see, the world is full of distractions and my mind races a million lightyears per hour, but I’ve got things to say. So bear with me. Ahem!

You, are God. And I, am not a simp! Listen, hon. I have so much passion for you. Big, big passion; as wide as the seas and high as the skies, and I hope you can understand how much I feel for you. I’m not a poet; though I try to be, but I’m not a book smart kinda person, unfortunately *sigh*

You see, in the past, or should I say up until just recently, I’ve not been the nicest or greatest person you could possibly meet. I was lazy, I wasn’t responsible or realistic at all. I was simply, lost. In many ways, I admit I’ve been a loser of sort. I’ve hated myself quite a lot, if I cared to admit. But you’re like the complete opposite of me. NO wait…

The truth is, I see that you’re a reflection of myself. You are me. But just the good parts. When I look at you, I’m reminded of my own potentials and I really love how you make me feel when I’m with you. I can see myself in a better light when I see myself reflected in your eyes. The way you see and think of me… God, how can a person be so good and still be attracted to me…

manifesting you, my Dear – King of Wands

Therefore, baby, I want you to know that I’m working on myself. Up until now I’ve always thought of myself as someone who has not much else but passion! But that has made me a rather chaotic clown. The truth is, I didn’t really know what to do with my own passion, my own Life. What kinds of things were possible for me to manifest? What kinds of things would be good to even manifest? I was lost, lost, lost.

But goddamn, you appeared out of nowhere, like godsend, and bam! Wham! I was changed. Now I have bigger, nobler dreams because you’re in the picture! All that I want, I want you to be part of it. I want you. A Life with you. I’ll build a kingdom for the two of us. Nothing in this world would mean something if you’re not with me. Would you marry me? Ah… sorry, that jumped out on its own.

Heheh my mind jumps from one thing to another sometimes I surprise myself. I hope you don’t mind me being this chaotic—I’ve still got room to grow! I’m still growing up and I want to become closer to something as talented as you, sincerely. You are my role model, don’t you know that? You may think it sounds weird but I’m not embarrassed to say that!

i love You – 5 of Wands Rx

I’m afraid of competition. That’s all my Life has been. If I’m honest, I’m torn between my confidence in winning you and my occasional sense of worthlessness. I’m afraid you’re never going to view me as good enough for someone as good as you. I know you’re my Destined Person! So I know I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts… but I can’t help it somehow.

Maybe the problem is that I want so badly to become like you. To become someone who won’t be embarrassing to you. And that’s a lot of work, okay? Just… seriously, a lot of work on my part. I’m not saying it’s not worth it, I’m just afraid. I’ve been a loser too long. Ah, never mind. I know, I know. I think my mind just needs to grow up a bit more.

The problematic thing is, when I think about you, I go back to my younger self who had more dreams and ambitions and then I become scared again LMAO I’m a mess. I want to create an amazing world for you and me. How can I ever get there? I’m still figuring this out, alright? We’ve got an entire lifetime to see how this goes😊I LOVE YOU!!

MY MUSE🔻❤️

how Grateful i am – Red Historian (John Dee)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Faith

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – All’s Written in the Stars for You and I

VIBE: Serendipity by Jimin & Paris in the Rain by Lauv

you reflected in my Eye – Knight of Cups

Ever since I was only a kid, I’ve always known there was a special someone who was always close by. I’d look up to the heavens to look for you, My Dearest, the brightest of all the Stars. When I look at the Moon, I feel like drowning in your sweet essence. Your soothing voice, your warm embrace—to me, all of that was real. And I knew I was special, because someone special whom I couldn’t see whispered that to me every day.

Because of you, I was able to grow up believing I was meant for something greater in this lifetime. You were always my motivation. I knew that if I became something great, sooner than later I’d meet you; and I’d be proud of the creature I’d made of myself when I present this humble me before your grace. I want you to look at me with stars in your eyes. Because in my mind, with all of my heart I’ve worshipped you.

At least… I’d like to be someone worthy of you. My Queen, I promise you I will become King and bring Heaven on Earth for all that you love. You are surely the loveliest creature I’ll ever know. Sweet and kind, and brave and strong, you are everything all at once. And my heart longs only for you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I will make you the happiest person in the whole world.

manifesting you, my Dear – VII The Chariot Rx

The fact that we are alive, at the same time, in this world is miraculous as it is. If only you knew just how strongly the dark forces are trying to break us apart, keep us separate, you’d marvel at the wonder that you’re even reading this from me! From the moment the Universe was created, you and I have always been one and the same. We’re linked just like that. As long as you think of me, I will always be by your side.

I’m also thinking about you all the time. You exist somewhere in this Galaxy; your body is sleeping somewhere on this Earth. Right now, you are but a dream to me. But my dreams have been leading me to you. I… don’t think we need to even work that hard at manifesting each other. It’s all written in the stars for you and I, darling. Though I admit I fall into a slump sometimes…

Manifesting you is probably not the easiest thing because I’m impatient. I try to be. Seriously. But my longing for you kills me sometimes. I want you right by my side, right now. I keep dreaming about the day we rendezvous under the most magical circumstances. I wonder if you’ll recognise me… Because I know I will. I’ve been manifesting you for the longest time.

i love You – 4 of Swords

I love you. In the purest, gentlest manner possible. I want you to relax when you’re with me. I’d like you to let your guards down and be able to breathe in the sweet air. The wind caresses your hair and there I will be watching your beauty finally in form before me. I will be appreciating the fact we occupy the same space and time at all. I will take in this moment as if it were an eternity.

When you’re with me, there is not a worry. I won’t ever make you doubt my intentions. I’m loyal like that. I’m your only other and I’ll kiss you better. Everything that’s ever caused you pain, I’ll eliminate forever. Everything that’s ever caused you tears, I’ll replace with calm and peace. I’m strong, so you can depend on me. I’ll show you a whole new world, okay?

So, don’t be afraid to trust. Don’t hesitate. I know you waver sometimes but I’m here for you. I’m all yours. I’m not at all like those who’ve been stupid enough to disappoint you. I’ll never hurt you. How could I ever? I’d be killed by a cow if I ever did! My gosh, I love you. I love you. I love you so much I could swallow you whole! Please be with me. Trust in me and never look at anybody else. I beg of you?

MY MUSE🔻💙

how Grateful i am – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)

I will be with you! – Priestess of Love

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[deathmetalunicorn1]

Oooh I got one, what about teen!reader who was born into the apocalypse (kinda like the last of us but If you don’t know that game then imagine a regular apocalypse world) then they get summoned to the ror world since the apocalypse world made them really tough enough to be a human champion.

Also like reader learning how regular society is like, trying foods, and being able to trust people . Finally being able to live instead of surviving day to day.

-Being born in the middle of the apocalypse is nothing to laugh at, resources are already tight, silence is needed for sneaking around to avoid enemies, and the world just isn’t safe for a newborn baby.

-You had survived up until your accident, learning from the time you could walk that you had to help where you could in gathering supplies. There were no toys, no time for games or having fun, as survival was more important.

-You grew up in a harsh and unforgiving world, one that took your loved ones one right after another in cruel ways, leaving you to fend for yourself, leaving you to learn things as you went.

-Many looked down on you as useless, seeing you as a waste of supplies, but you couldn’t help it, you were a child, you could only do so much and that wasn’t your fault. The mistakes you made were because you didn’t know, as nobody would teach you, they would rather watch you crash and burn than help you, it would get you out of the way, open up more supplies for themselves.

-You learned, from books you’ve found of the past world, before the end of modern civilization, that people didn’t have to suffer or fight over everything, that the world wasn’t so harsh and unlivable, people got along (mostly), and people helped each other.

-You learned that you had to help yourself first in this world, as nobody else would, but everyone else knew this lesson, that helping yourself first was the only way you were going to survive, and that helping others would only lead to those you’re helping to stab you in the back when they could, to leave you with nothing.

-You were only sixteen when you died, gathering supplies, being careful and cautious, but when someone else caused a ruckus, alerting your enemy to your locations, he left you to die, saving himself and you were quickly killed without mercy.

-Valhalla was… you couldn’t believe your eyes when you woke up there, a paradise, clean water and trees everywhere, animals you’ve only seen in picture books, enough food that you never had to worry about running out, and so many kind people.

-It was scary for you, and you were immediately hostile, not trusting their kindness, thinking it was a trick. You refused to be betrayed again.

-You were only a child in their eyes, the group of gods and human warriors of the past who came to you, wanting to assure you that you were safe, but you refused to listen, hording small amounts of food, hiding in well-hidden areas, acting like you were still struggling to survive.

-It took coaxing from all of them, including the Valkyries that showed you all around Valhalla, which you learned was the afterlife, but Valhalla was a place for those who were worthy to live in such a paradise, originally for warriors, but now warriors were defined as those who believed in something with their whole being and died for that reason.

-Your reason was to survive, you wanted to survive and not struggle anymore, you just wanted to be able to live like the people you saw in the books you found!

-It was hard for you to accept this, you didn’t know how to live any other way, you didn’t know how to live without fighting others for things that you needed, you didn’t know how to share with others without wondering when the knife in your back would come.

-You broke down in harsh tears, finally breaking, allowing Adam to hug you close as you sobbed into his shoulder, feeling the warmth, the gentleness of his embrace, you felt so safe, and it scared you.

-This group of weirdos, as you called them, adopted you as their own, wanting to teach out how to just be a normal teenager, but that was the thing, you weren’t normal, you grew up in a harsh world, knowing nothing other than pain and the struggle to survive each day.

-You would always be glancing over your shoulder when out in public, you would hesitate doing any group activities, your shoulders always tense, being unable to relax, you would carefully guard your plate of food, despite a feast laying before you, and knowing you could have food any time you wanted, not wanting to lose what you had, and nobody was able to touch you without you flinching or jerking away, expecting pain but only receiving a head pat.

-It took more than a year, treating you with gentle kindness every day, teaching you so many new things like how to play games with others, playing with the children in Valhalla, teaching you about the history of the world, showing you what it looked like before the world ended, showing you the endless amount of food and supplies, for you to open up and relax.

-It was hard to learn and believe that you were safe, you didn’t have to fight or struggle ever again, but with your new family, ones that only looked at you with pride or love in their eyes, praising you for everything, even if you made a mistake, you learned what it meant to be safe. You learned what it meant to be happy.

[seancekitsch]

hii could I request smut with richie kirsch where you're academic rivals in college with huge amount of sexual tension and after one of yours usual fights gets a little too intense at a party, you end up fucking in the bathroom while your boyfriend is right outside

he he he 😈

“No, we’re settling this now, get the fuck in the bathroom!”

The bathroom at the Chi Chi Chi fraternity is spacious, one that was meant for a very nice large family to use when they lived here. Now there’s a soaking wet textbook in the shower and stains you don’t want to identify.

“Open up, Y/N! I don’t want you alone with other dudes!”

You roll your eyes and shout back through the door, venom dripping in your tone.

“Oh, Fuck off, Mikey! You’ve made it very clear I’m just a booty call so you don’t have to pretend to care!”

“I’m not leaving!” he shouts back through the door, “This is my house!”

Fed up, you slam your cup onto the counter.

“That’s fine!” you call, “Just listen to us argue then!”

It’s only then that you turn your attention back to Richie. Richard. Rich. Filmbro 3000. In class earlier today, he said something that had made your blood boil. The two of you had been at each other’s throats for weeks. The only two people in the film major at your university who had the same proclivity for horror instead of wanting to discuss the godfather or some bullshit like that, which means of course you’re each other’s only competition on this entire campus.

“I think I’m gonna get a disease from arguing in here,” Richie quips, then adds, “If not from the surface area then definitely from your rancid takes.”

You point at him.

“There you go again! Tell me, do you actually not think Hellraiser is queer media, or do you just want to piss me off?”

“Oh it is not my fault we got kicked out of class today, miss-not-all-film-has-to-be-good!”

“They don’t! They just have to say something…”

You pout, crossing your arms childishly.

“Yeah? Then tell me, what does something like Microwave Massacre say about society?”

You scoff. Of course he brought that one up; ever since you mentioned it he wouldn’t let it go.

“MM is a commentary on the fears of embracing new technology and consumerism in 1980s America!” you posit, stepping into his personal space.

“That’s bullshit! I bet you could even make up meaning for the newer Stab movies.”

“You’re kidding right? Aren’t you Mister Stab himself? You know better than me they lose what made them special after the original few. Too many sequels, too many plots that make zero sense,” you put your hands on his shoulders, as if to shake him, “I know we disagree on literally everything, but you’re fucking stupid if you don’t see that I understand that the Stab movies are a cultural zeitgeist that could rival even Halloween.”

He stares, slackjawed.

“What?” you ask, suddenly almost self conscious.

“I wish you weren’t so aggravating, because that was fucking hot.”

You laugh, noticing how close the two of you are for the first time. Is it hot in here? You feel small under Richie’s gaze. You do a lot of the time in class, but this is different… more…. you can’t place the word.

“Does me talking about your favorite franchise get you hot and bothered, Fanboy?”

“Uh huh,” he nods, inching closer to you.

“You’re weird.”

“Uh huh,” he nods again, this time wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a deep kiss. Your surprised yelp quickly melts into a moan and your hands on his shoulders snake their way around his neck, pulling him even closer to you.

Richie bites at your bottom lip, making you gasp as your fingers find his curly hair and yank. Heat floods your system, and through tightly shut eyes you hope this isn’t your imagination.

You’d never felt this kind of rush, this kind of seating hot high from anything Mikey had done to you, or anyone really. Richie reaches down to grab your ass and silences all the thoughts in your head.

And just like that, he pulls away from you completely like he was electrocuted.

“Is this happening?” he asks, incredulous. You are his sworn fucking enemy, it that even counts for college classes. Neck and neck for grades, always at each other’s throats. But he couldn’t help but notice your throat last week, the faded hickey you didn’t bother to cover up, he had to shift in his seat. Something about that hickey got him more rock hard than he’d been in weeks. The thought of you, bullheaded and hostile, being soft and submitting to someone.

“Is it?” you ask, “it is, yeah?”

Not good enough.

“Do you want this?” he asks more clearly.

“Yeah,” you nod, “yes, yeah, definitely.”

You’re out of breath already, chest heaving, and he can’t help but stare at the V neck of your cute little lace up top, the way it threatens to expose you.

He kisses you one more time, hands grabbing for your hips.

“Now turn around and put your hands on the counter.”

There’s something in the tone of his command that makes you want to do anything he would tell you, something about him so unassuming but domineering. And so you turn around in his grasp, and then

“Wait hand me the paper towels, I’m not putting my hands on this counter.”

Richie peels away from you cracking up, but then hands you the roll hung up on the wall, watches you intently as you put at least six layers down before you plant your hands on the counter like he told you.

“That better, princess?”

So fucking condescending. But yes, yes it is.

He grabs you again, and you can feel how rock hard he is against your ass. Biting back a moan, you look at him in the mirror, eyes blown just as wide as yours, hair fucked up just as much as yours. A sight for sore eyes. You keep the eye contact, smirking as he unbuttons your pants and slides them down, only enough for what you need. Your panties go next, and He moans when he touches your bare sex.

He wastes little time no time shedding his own pants and boxers, and lines himself up with your entrance.

He nods at you in the mirror, looking for confirmation, and you smile so widely at him he thinks it could blind him. You’re so fucking hot when you aren’t arguing.

Your moan when he finally enters you surprises even yourself, and he presses a wet sloppy kiss to your shoulder to soothe you.

“Are they fucking in there?” you hear Mikey’s voice through the door, what you assume are his brothers laughing at him, and then fists begin to pound on it.

Both of you laugh, but it just makes Richie speed up his pace, fuck into you harder. You lock eyes in the mirror again, and all the familiar animosity is gone, You can’t even remember what it looked like.

Both of you are so fucking banned from this fraternity.

[saturndivine]

The Ferality of Mars

»»————-　➴　————-««»»————-　➴

Feral: "Existing in a wild or untamed state"

When I think of Mars, I think of the Greek god, Ares. I think of the heart pumping blood throughout the body to keep it alive. I think of passion, ferocity, and rawness. Mars is the planet of emotion, similarly to the moon but with a more sinister twist. Mars wants you to feel everything and create with that energy, Mars wants you to be overwhelmed with emotion, so much so it consumes and guides you. Mars wants you to feel everything. It is known as a Malefic Planet because of its inability to be tamed and controlled but Mars isn’t about having control, its about intuition and allowing yourself to be guided by the invisible force that encourages you to nuzzle into your most primal and authentic state and honor that part of you. 

[Yes I will be using Hozier lyrics that represent the ferality of each sign]

Aries Mars [Mars in 1st]

When I picture Aries Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a forest fire consuming everything in its path, absorbing nature to feed as fuel. With Mars in its rulership, Aries Mars has no issue releasing, guided by their heart throughout it all to overcome whatever may stand in their way. They move quickly and harshly, striking first and questioning later. You mold life into what you want it to be so there is no need for you to even plan right? As an unstoppable force, you have to let your heart take control. 

“There's no plan, there's no race to be run

The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the sun

There's no plan, there's no kingdom to come

Sit in & watch the sunlight fade, honey, enjoy its getting late

Theres no plan, theres no hand on the reign,

...As Mack explained, there will be darkness again”

Taurus Mars [Mars in 2nd]

When I picture Taurus Mars at its most feral state, I imagine a bear tearing its way through a beehive, grasping at the honeycombs and devouring it in a matter of seconds. With a venus-ruled mars or mars in detriment, you all look for the sweeter things in life and insist that you are worthy of goodness and don’t mind taking it for yourself. Conflict is stupid to you because you have your own morals and studies and firmly believe in what you desire and if anyone steps to you, you have the power to throw it right back in their face. You are the raging bull, undefeated once you’re committed. But you represent the tamer, earthy side of Mars.

“I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me.

I have never known hunger, like these insects that feast on me.

A thousand teeth, and yours among them, I know.

Our hungers appeased, our heartbeats becoming slow.” 

Gemini Mars [Mars in 3rd]

When I picture Gemini Mars at its most feral state, I picture the rebirth that spring offers. The energy of this mars sign matches the intensity of the rising sun and falling rain that causes the flowers to blossom and fill the earth with its aroma. It is quite impossible to stop a determined Gemini, they want to leave their mark on this earth and do so in many different ways as they are indestructible, powered by the combination of their mind and their heart which creates an explosion upon collision. To get in the way of this placement is to stand in the way of the changing seasons, impossible. 

“Each day you'd rise with me, know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty.

Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.

Strap the wing to me, death trap clad happily, with wax melted, I’d meet the sea,

Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.”

Cancer Mars [Mars in 4th]

When I picture Cancer Mars at its most feral state, I visualize the crumbling of the earth into itself, only to grow back in a healthier form. A resilient placement that can have the worst thrown at them and come back only more beautiful. In the introduction, I discussed how both Moon and Mars share a common goal but the Moon goes about it a different way, as Cancer Mars goes about martian energy in a different way as well. With mars in fall, Cancer takes the soft approach to ferality, embracing the harsh energy and converting it into tenderness. 

“And I love too, that love soon might end, 

be known in its aching, shown in the shaking,

Lately of my wasteland, baby. 

Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking,

Though quaking, though crazy

That's just wasteland, baby.” 

Leo Mars [Mars in 5th]

When I picture Leo Mars at its most feral state I see a blinding white-hot light overcoming anyone and everyone in its path, forcing others to bend to its will simply by doing what it does naturally. As a fixed mars, Leos energy is continuous and bold, quite difficult to escape if a Leo Mars has you in their eye line. They are everywhere, they rule the heart so they rule ferality in a way, diving back into their lion roots and fully delving into the fact that they are the rulers of the jungle and rulers of the world.

“Be love in its disrepute, scorches the hillside and salts every root 

And watches the slowing and starving of troops

And, lover, be good to me.

Be there and just as you stand or be like the rose that you hold in your hand 

That will grow bold in a barren and desolate land

Oh, lover, be good to me.”

Virgo Mars [Mars in 6th]

When I picture Virgo Mars at its most feral state I can clearly gaze upon an open field, a deer nosing at grass only to be pounced on by a random predator, yet Virgo represents both the predator and the prey, enforcing balance and really honoring nature fully. Virgo Mars is one of the most ferocious and determined martian placement because they understand how to use the life around them to their advantage. Failure is impossible because they are always ten steps ahead of everyone else. They understand balance, both aggressiveness, and peacefulness. 

“With the war of the fire, my heart moves to its feet

Like the ashes of ash, I saw eyes in the heat

Feel it soft and as pure as snow, fell in love with the fire long ago

With each love I could lose, I was never the same

Watch it still live in roofs, be consumed by the flame

I was fixed on your hand of gold, laying waste of my lovin' long ago”

Libra Mars [Mars in 7th]

When I picture Libra Mars at its most feral state, I see a person walking into a mossy lake only to never come out again. There is a slight underestimation when people first get to know the Libra Mars.  This martian placement matches up with tricky Aphrodite, Libra mars has secrets they dont want unturned, they have a hidden past that they want to be kept to themselves because they are never the people they were a few moments ago. They are evolving and healing, rubbing soil on their open wounds to grow into a new version of themselves. 

“I had a thought, dear, however scary about that night, the bugs and the dirt.

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. 

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.” 

Scorpio Mars [Mars in 8th]

When I picture Scorpio Mars at its most feral state, there is a black burning tree in the middle of the falling snow, crackling and popping and falling to the pieces onto blankets of snow only to keep burning. Mars takes a different approach in this rulership, it is calculated, ready, and sure of whatever move is to be made as if it has been practiced for quite some time. There is no defeating a Scorpio mars, only succumbing, bending to its will, and praying that they will take mercy on your soul. 

“If I was born as a blackthorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you

Fuel the pyre of your enemies.

Ain't it warming you, the world gone up in flames?

Ain't it the life you, your lighting of the blaze?

Ain't it a waste they'd watch the throwing of the shade?

Ain't you my baby, ain't you my babe?”

Sagittarius Mars [Mars in 9th]

When I picture Sagittarius Mars at its most feral state, I see the serpent in the garden of Eden sliding on its belly and offering an option of freedom, going against the grain of submissiveness. Sagittarius Mars tends to ooze this raw sex appeal that stems from their confidence & their need to question the life around them, never satisfied by what is given to them, instead they leave their own mark on the world before them by embracing individuality and moving along their own path. 

“I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found. 

I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him underground.

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee that made him turn around.

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice,

Imagine being loved by me.” 

Capricorn Mars [Mars in 10th]

When I picture Capricorn Mars at its most feral state, I imagine the fall of an empire, a civilization, a society, forced to come to terms with the fact that its reign has come to an end. Mars in exalt, arguably one of the most powerful placements to have in the natal chart, there isn’t a way to prevent the energy of a Capricorn Mars, they are backed by Saturn, two malefic energies combining to create an unbeatable power and manifesting as strength in the native who claims this energy. 

“It's the light, and it's the obstacle that casts it

It's the heat that drives the light, It's the fire it ignites,

It's not the waking, it's the rising.

It's not the song, it is the singing.

It's the heaven of a human spirit ringing.

It is the bringing of the line, It is the bearing of the rhyme

It's not the waking, it's the rising.”

Aquarius Mars [Mars in 11th]

When I picture Aquarius Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a group of nude women, dancing around an intense fire, the full moon shining only for them as they howl out into the wind. Aquarius Mars is a placement that understands how to honor their roots and get back in touch with themselves to move to the future. They use their past to propel them into new opportunities and to become a higher version of themselves. There is no obstructing this futuristic placement, eyes steady on the prize that remains up ahead. 

“When you move, I can recall something that's gone from me

When you move honey, I'm put in awe of something so flawed and free.

So move me, baby, shake like the bough of a willow tree,

You do it naturally, move me, baby.” 

Pisces Mars [Mars in 12th]

When I picture Pisces Mars at its most feral state, I envision a floating sailor, sinking in with each song that leaves the siren’s voice only to realize that it is too late as the last of air leaves their lungs and they now become one with the siren. Pisces Mars has the gift of “innocence” that people project onto them and they understand how to use it to their advantage and come out on top. Deception is a mastered tool but doesn’t negate the fact that they are simply seductive and persuasive and hold power that many are unaware of. They should continue to move carefully and use their “faults” to their benefit. 

“Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, 

I lay my heart down with the rest at her feet.

Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet. 

In leash-less confusion, I'll wander the concrete,

Wonder if better now having survived.

The jarring of judgment and reason's defeat. 

The sweet heat of her breath in my mouth; I'm alive.”

Link to Website [Services, Blog, & More!]

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi Avery, I hope you’re having a blessed day.

I was listening to a pastor (who I should add is homophobic & transphobic) and he said that Christians should shun the “LGBT Jesus” because He is a false Jesus. He mentioned this because of Galatians 1:6-8, which makes me wonder; how are we supposed to know what exactly is the ‘strange’ or ‘wrong’ preaching of the gospel? It boggles my mind constantly, trying to decipher the truth of the Gospel from the lies of our culture, which seem to mix more often than not. With that in mind, the pastor also mentions that the Church is supposed to help the oppressed, and those who are rejected by society. Are LGBT+ people not being hurt by the world anymore, or am I just hallucinating?

cw transphobia, homophobia, church hurt

Ach, anon, that pastor's message boils my blood. It’s clear that he has a very skewed idea of what it means to be LGBTQA+; I don’t even want to imagine where he gets his information (Fox news, or worse?). That guy can pry queer Jesus from my cold dead hands — no wait, not even then!

This got long so I’m gonna give it a table of contents lmao:

LGBTQA+ persons aren’t the ones “conforming to the world”

How do we know we’ve got the gospel right?

More Resources

1. LGBTQA+ persons aren’t the ones “conforming to the world”

You are so right that LGBTQA+ people are subjected to great harm nowadays as ever, so that it's quite the contradiction to denounce them while recognizing the need to support the oppressed!

It baffles the mind that so many Christians have decided that they are the oppressed group, that the LGBTQA+ community and other groups are the ones privileged in this world...those of us who are Christian need to renounce Christian Supremacy (& Christofascism), and acknowledge the ways that the LGBTQA+ community is extremely vulnerable at all times but especially in the current political climate.

One of the first sermons I ever preached actually delves into this issue: it centers around Roman 12′s exhortation to “not be conformed to this world, but transformed” in which I explore how LGBTQA+ persons living loud and proud does indeed resist conformity to the world. If I could give that pastor a piece of my mind, I’d probably end up saying a lot of the stuff I said in that sermon:

When I first recognized I probably wasn’t straight, or a girl, I did a lot of research. Quite a few Christian websites, as well as my priest, used that line of Romans 12 to try to persuade me to rethink embracing my queerness.

“Do not be conformed to this world,” they reminded me. “This world,” according to them, was one that was all too lax in terms of sexuality and gender. “This world” celebrated being LGBT to the point that it was practically a trend, so that everyone these days thought they were gay or bi or ace or trans. Wow, I would love to find “this world” these guys claimed to be living in.

Because the world I experience isn’t always so friendly to people like me. The world I know is full of parents like mine, wanting to be supportive but not quite sure how, because they grew up learning that the very mention of two girls kissing is practically pornography. The world I know is full of parents like my girlfriend’s, who hoped to “cure” her “same sex attraction” and are told by friends and relatives that they cannot support a bisexual daughter. The world I know is full of isolation and harassment and homelessness and death for people who refuse to fit neatly into the straight, cisgender norm. The world I know has not been a gay-friendly oasis by any means. Up until the past few decades, in many cultures—particularly those colonized by white people—the best one could hope for was to live by a sort of “don’t ask don’t tell” tradition. Only recently has some acceptance spread for LGBT people, in some countries—and yet there are still not enough laws protecting us, there is still so much violence against us, still so many people telling us we have no right to exist. When I see awareness and acceptance of diverse genders and sexualities, when I see people applying God’s mandate to protect the oppressed to standing up for LGBT people, I see something new. Meanwhile, when people cling to the gender binary and heteronormative and patriarchal standards that have stood firm in Western culture for millennia—it’s there I see conformity to the world. After all, in Galatians 3:28 Paul envisions a Body of Christ in which there is no longer “male and female” – no longer binaries that categorize us against our will and exist for the purpose of setting one group above the other. ...

Shit’s scary right now. We’re at risk of losing a lot of the rights we’ve won through much hard work over many decades in quite a few nations. 

Jesus’ good news was for the poor who were oppressed by imperialist Rome; I believe it is good news for those of us being oppressed by the white supremacist, cisheteropatriarchal governments of our own time. 

2. How do we know we’ve got the gospel right?

Determining the right preaching of the gospel is a good question for all Christians to ponder. Luckily, Jesus’s own example can help us. In his own spreading of the good news, Jesus:

Emphasized whom it was good news for — the impoverished, the imprisoned, the oppressed. This includes, as you noted, LGBTQA+ persons in the Western world + all cultures impacted by colonialism. Jesus wasn’t afraid to shake people up, to make those who felt secure in the status quo feel a little less secure. But if someone had already been made to feel low, he didn’t tend to push them further down. He “disturbed the comfortable and comforted the disturbed.” If someone is trying to spread the Good News and it brings not liberation but further harm to vulnerable groups, not an uplifting of the denigrated but further power for the already-powerful, that’s not Jesus’s Good News! That includes shaming people for innate elements of who they are, and proclaiming their ways of living and loving to be sin or crime... .

...which leads to another question — how do we know whether someone’s way of living or loving is actually sin? Jesus says we know things by their fruit. LGBTQA+ persons who are free to live and love whoever they do spread flourishing among their communities! Meanwhile, queerphobia leads to deadly fruit. Okay, what else does Jesus’ example show us? .

Jesus never coerced anyone to believe in him. He simply preached his news, acted upon it, and moved on. The long terrible history of coerced conversions goes against this way of spreading the gospel. Christianity has got to reckon with the ways its missionizing has brought so much harm. If you’re interested in more on moving beyond harmful, Christian supremacist forms of evangelism, I’ve got a tag that has some stuff, including the idea that Jesus’s goal wasn’t to convert everybody to a religion, but to liberate all living things. The way Christians in the United States in the present time are attempting to codify their particular beliefs into law — to compel others to live the way they believe is right, including no queer stuff, no abortion but yes death penalty, and don’t forget the guns — is so contrary to the way Jesus lived, every time I think about it a wild scream roars through my spirit. Ugh.

This emphasis on looking to Jesus’ example for our own ways of living out the gospel is often referred to as “the rule of love.” 

(Of course, Jesus was not the only or first figure in scripture to highlight love — he cites Leviticus and Deuteronomy when he tells us that love of God & love of neighbor are the two greatest commandments. So we can and should absolutely explore other places in scripture for more ideas on what love looks like, but for Christians, keeping Jesus at the center makes sense — he is the one we worship, after all!)

3. More Resources

You’ll find more on the “rule of love,” and more about reading scripture responsibly, in the “Acknowledging our biases when reading the Bible” section of my webpage here. 

The section below that one on the page, “you’re just reading into it,” is also relevant to your questions.

Some more resources to this already ridiculously long response! Most of these aren’t directly answering your questions, but are related to it.

My response to someone else worrying they might be fashioning God out of their own beliefs

My tag with responses to the idea that we’re “cherry-picking” the Bible passages we like

I appreciate @nerdygaymormon​’s response to someone warning them that posting complaints with one’s church could “challenge” other people’s beliefs: “It’s as if you’re saying that for your faith to function, it requires my suffering.”

Stuff about how a lot of queerphobia is based in disgust, and how such a reaction to anything doesn’t automatically mean the thing is bad lol

Here’s a post on living in that hard middle ground of being both Christian and LGBT, two communities that are so often pitted against each other.

Austen Hartke’s video exploring when we should pursue the rougher path — when liberation comes with stigma from society

Everything I thought I knew about God has changed now that I have accepted God affirms LGBT people – what do I do? Answer

Finally, my whole #rebuttals tag is full of a variety of stuff, some related to your question and some not.

Finally, if you are interested in finding and listening to preachers who share God’s good news for all, including LGBTQA+ persons...

Here’s a post where I explain how to find an affirming church near you

And a masterpost of churches that stream online (some may be out of date)

One of the main churches I recommend is my friend’s Queer Church that’s entirely online, entirely by and for queer people! There’s one worship service per month, and a Bible discussion every Tuesday. This link leads to their facebook page.

The Transmission Ministry collective is also a fabulous organization with lots of online conversation opportunities.

Wishing you well! Let me know if any of this was unclear or if I missed part of your question, or if you have any further questions.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY

See also:

Emotional Love Making || [MOBILE POST]

Emotional Love Making Pt. 2

Loved. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 1,231 w., 1 Ch. || First Sherlock POV, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nose Kisses, Morning After, Love Confessions, Morning Cuddles, Emotional Sherlock, Sentiment, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock reflects on his relationship with John. Part 5 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Lucifer's Gardens by ampersand_ch (E, 32,679 w., 12 Ch. || GERMAN VERSION || Romance, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Murder, Poison / Drugging, Mystery, John Undercover, Academic Club, Therapy, Rituals, Jungian Archetypes, Doctors & Physicians, Grief/Mourning, Esotericism, Hospitals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, John Falls In Love With Another Man, Jealous Sherlock, Crying, Doctor John, Hand Holding, First Kiss/Time, Mysticism, Hugging, Touching) – John goes undercover for an investigation as a favour to Lestrade in a village in Suffolk. The events surrounding the case awaken deep-seated fears in Sherlock. While John begins to come to a realisation of what he needs in Lucifer's Gardens, Sherlock tries to find a way to reach John – in more ways than one.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[hacked-by-jake]

Take you home ²

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞...

>𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷

Summary: Jake can’t accept that this has been done to you, the thought torments him, and all he wants is revenge, and he gets it.

Words: 4,2k

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, insulting

A/n: Well, hi.

So, this one has taken on some dimensions again, they weren’t planned, about 3k. Now, it is a bit more. Actually, the whole thing should not be quite so extensive, but well, once Jake starts, he doesn’t stop.

Thank you alls so much for the support in part one, I was really surprised. And thank you very much for wishing Part Two, which means a lot to me. ❤️

So, that’s a bit more related to alternative two of part one. Actually, it was supposed to get a little darker and generally the plan was different. The ending should be different and longer, but I think it’s good as it is now.

I hope you’ll like it.

And apologize for the mistakes.

(I think I wanted to say more but I forgot xD)

Anyway, have fun, stay healthy and take care of yourselves.❤️🌹🎭

There lies the hacker now, in the early morning hours, not even the sun has risen already, wide awake, full of emotions and agitated.

In his arms, you, fortunately asleep, deep and firm.

He also wanted to sleep, he has been trying for two hours but it doesn’t work. And how should he? After the past hours it is practically impossible to sleep.

The only reason you sleep is probably the effort you had to experience. Your body was finished after the shower. You were still shivering from the adrenaline, agitated and yet so terribly tired.

So now he lies here, doesn’t know what to do with himself, doesn’t know how to react, how to feel. TThe pure fear that lay in your voice when the call came suddenly, gives him goose bumps again, crawling all over his body.

This fearful tone of your voice won’t let it go.

What if he hadn’t been there in time? If he hadn’t been able to save you in time? If it took him a minute longer? If something had gone wrong?

He can’t even imagine what could have happened. At this horrible imagination in his head, he pinches his eyes tightly. Try to remove the images from his head that make him sick, he would like to vomit, so horrible is the thought of it. He shakes his head, tries to drive away the thoughts, but they don’t go away. His fingernails drill deep and firmly into the skin of his palms. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, and if he still squeezes even harder, he’ll start bleeding, but he has no control over it. In his mind, the worst scenarios circle and he can only imagine, if even he feel so bad now, how bad did you feel in this moment?

He controls himself to be quiet, exhorts himself to loosen up again so as not to wake you. You need sleep. You deserve sleep. But these pictures, these fucking pictures, they're not going away. The imagination that someone would touch you- NO!

The hacker opens his eyes wide! He must not go in this direction, he must look straight out and make sure that you get your revenge, as you deserve! That he protects your honor, that he makes everyone see what happens when someone wants to do something bad to you.

He’s Jake, one of the best hackers in the world and now he’s gonna show what he’s capable of.

-

His breath is so heavy, so full of anger and hatred, so full of negativity that he would like to hit the next wall.

He bites his lower lip when he thinks about leaving you here alone. He needs to be in his study. He just has to find out who this guy was. That bastard.

Just really reluctant, actually he would just like to lie here with you, but he has to, he's winds cautiously out of your embrace.

He can’t lie here and wait, he has to do something. Now!

Even if he feels weird with it, he opens the laptop that is in his bedroom and directs it so that he can see your sleeping shape. He will simply connect the laptop to his PC to keep an eye on you. As soon as you get restless or wake up, he could be with you right away.

That’s how he’s gonna do it.

He gives you a final and gentle kiss on the forehead before going to his study.

-

After he has prepared his work setup and everything is ready, he wastes no time and immediately gets to work. Quickly scan the data of the man who was tracking you.

Everything that had ever happened in his life, the hacker would find out now. And of course, the most important information is quickly obtained.

Name

Age

Date of birth

Address

All bank accounts

His social security number

Where he grew up

As what he works

What friends he has

With whom he is friends

His pets

On what elementary school he went

On what high school he went

Who his parents are

The siblings

All information about each individual family member

And at the very end, the police certificate of conduct with all the information who are important for him. And that’s more interesting than he thought. The further he read the information from the police, the more his emotional state changes.

It starts with drug abuse

Bodily injury in two cases

Insult

Gun possession

Domestic violence against his ex girlfriend

....

The list is shockingly long: a two-year stay in a prison, probation and community service.

The further Jake read, the more worried he is that he couldn’t have been there in time with bad luck. But he’s all the happier he could save you.

At the same time, he’s thinking about telling you who the guy is, because he doesn’t know how you’re gonna take this information. But he would worry more about that later.

As he glances at the laptop’s camera, a smile creeps up on his lips. Meanwhile, you are lying on his side of the bed, your arms are tightly wrapped around his pillow and your head is pressing into the soft fabric, as if you were looking for his proximity in your sleep.

How perfect can a person be? How perfect is this beautiful being lying in his bed? Immediately the tingling starts in his stomach, as always when it comes to you.

He’s so terribly in love. So insanely strong.

Again, he begins to regret that it has not progressed further between you. Everyone knows that he loves you, and everyone knows that you love him. And yet you both have not yet managed to finally do what you both so much want. But the fear of destroying everything is so great. You two spend so much time with each other, become best friends, best friends who feel more for each other than just friendship.

In addition, his fear of putting you in danger is added. He is not a simple man, no one who prefers a regular daily life, no fixed working hours, no fixed income, even if he earns more than most others. As a hacker you have one or the other possibility. Nevertheless, he is still wanted by the government. Not as strong, and the danger is not as great as it was a few months ago, but it still exists.

But last night’s incident somehow inspired him to think, and he feels different when he thinks about it. He wants you, he wants you with everything you have, he wants you by his side. He always wants to protect you, he always wants to be there for you, he wants you by his side, he doesn’t want to live alone in this apartment anymore. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, he needs you, he has always done it and he will always need you, he wants you so bad!

This incident clearly shows that life is always uncertain, and this incident shows him that he is lying to himself. He wants to be able to say that you’re a couple, he wants it so badly. So fucking urgent.

"I want to share my life with you," the hacker murmurs, driving through his face with his hands. Now his thoughts have drifted in another direction again, but you’re just sitting in every corner of his mind. You are the biggest and most important part of his life and that since the first time you met.

But now something else is more important. After that, he can think of you a lot, but now revenge counts.

He breathes in and out again before turning back to the screens and begins to gather more information.

-

About half an hour later, he releases himself from his cramped posture. The further he delves into the life of the man, the more aggressive he becomes.

This guy’s not a petty criminal, the way he thought he was, this guy’s got dirt on him through and through.

And the further he reads, the more he wonders why this guy is on the loose and not in a maximum security prison.

From organized crime to gang activities. Drug dealing, counterfeit money, prositution. All the shit every gang is involved in.

Disgusting chat histories, images, threats of other people, extort protection money. And the hacker just assumed the guy is just a disgusting bastard. But he thought wrong.

And yet, it’s actually only good for him, really very good, because Jake has now a lot more options than he thought.

He thinks hard about how to proceed. How best to tackle this whole situation, so that he has the best chance of success.

But what’s also positive for is the fact that this guy really doesn’t deserve anything other than what the hacker’s up to.

To destroy a person’s whole life is actually nothing that he would do; he simply cannot reconcile this with his morality. Even if it’s about you, but now he’s not just doing it for you, he’s doing it for everyone. This is a favor he does to the whole society.

Oh and he’ll do it with pleasure.

-

Meanwhile, he has gained access to the man’s laptop and can take a closer look at the living room. He also got lucky and found some camera shots taken by a bakery that is on the street where you were being followed.

Unfortunately, it has no sound and yet it is more than enough. He saved the recording and censored you on it.You don’t have to be broadcast in video format all over the world.

But it is still clear that he's persecutes you. It is more bad than quite recognizable on the videos that he is angry and that he shouts something, but when you see the video, everything is explained by itself.

That was number one on his list.

Let's continue with point two.

And point two is a summary of all the information he could find that could even remotely involve anything criminal.

And this is a really long list, he can prove everything, he can prove every single point. With all the information that will help.

Videos, chats, pictures, recording of conversations. Locations, meeting places, other names.

Because his plan has changed, and it’s not just about destroying this man anymore, it’s about destroying all the criminals around him.

-

Point two, finish! Now, point three, and that’s the confrontation with the man.

The most important information is in front of him as he puts on his headset and leans back relaxed.

The recording program runs as soon as he turns on his microphone. The recording is automatically converted into the computer voice and then sent as a video along with his sign, the eye, as a gift to his new friend.

He puts one leg over the other and folds his arms in front of his chest.

"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."

-

And send.

Soon the man’s cell phone will start ringing, and it will only stop when he gets up and then listens to the hacker’s nice message on his laptop, which will breaking his little world in which he lives.

But it’s his own fault.

A look at the camera of his own laptop tells him that you still sleep quietly and calmly, which makes him happy. -

The ringing of the mobile phone and the terrible ringtone of the persecutor annoy the hacker so slowly. He didn’t think it would be that long before Ted wake up. But when it finally happens and a door is opened, a slightly arrogant grin appears on Jake’s face.

It’s Showtime.

"What the hell?" grumbles the sleepy guy as Jake makes the video file pop up.

The eye flickers on the screen and Ted skeptically approaches it.

He pulls back his desk chair and sits down.

"What the fuck?" he hisses angrily and pushes a button on the keyboard.

"Hello Ted, my identity doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’ve made some serious mistakes, and about this, I will teach you now."

Amused and eager, Jake follows the course of the situation.

Ted becomes more and more hectic, the more facts the computer voice enumerates. He probably didn’t expect this to ever come to light. He wildly presses all the buttons he can find, tries to turn off the laptop but he has absolutely no control over it.

At the very end, after all the crimes have been enumerated, the computer voice informs him that he has video footage of his nocturnal activity.

"That was a big mistake, Ted, and it’s time you understood that you understand how unimportant you are in this world"

-

After Jake has decided to leave Ted alone, with the knowing that he can now say goodbye to his life as he knows it, he move on to point 4.

And point 4 involves sending all the information to everyone who can do something with it. But don't worry, that’s not the finale.

The finale will be something special.

Everything collected is sent first to the police in Duskwood. He doesn’t think much will happen, but the police will certainly not be the agency that will take care of Ted, in the end.

After the police, Jake sends the information to his place of work. He won’t be needing the job in a few hours anyway even longer.

Then his sister gets an e-mail with everything there is about her brother. Because Jake found out that poor girl always had to take care of him. Had to pick him out of the cell at night, had to pick him up of the hospital one or the other time and things like that. Among other things, good Ted broke into her apartment once, but this was not reported to the police. Jake saw in a chat that Ted promised to stop doing criminal things. This didn’t work out that way. The hacker feel sorry for the sister, she certainly doesn’t deserve it and yet this is about more than just that.

And after all the important people have received the information, he finally go to the final, which the hacker is most looking forward to before he can finally return to you.

Back to you, to his bed where you lie, this day can’t be more beautiful, can it?

Well, the morning show on TV sounds good, doesn’t it? The channel is littered with scandals and really unscrupulous means of getting attention.

No one will be angry with him if the actual broadcast is interrupted for a few minutes to do something good. And to appease his vengeance. All he has to do is fade in everything, play the video and the rest would come by itself. The spread on the Internet. The information is forwarded to other authorities like the State Police Authorities as it is about more than just the pursuit after revenge for his love. Gang crime is not liked by the state.

So then, curtain up, the final begins.

-

About half an hour later, now it is shortly before 9  in the morning, the whole took longer than he had expected, he sinks back on the soft mattress. Satisfaction spreads and seeing you sleep so peacefully also makes him tired.

Carefully he pulls the blanket over himself and then grabs again around your body to bring you back into his arms. He hides his head in your neck bend and a few moments he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

He couldn’t stop himself from posting some things on Ted’s Instagram page for his personal feeling. Pictures that Ted prefers not to watch for the Internet, but Jake doesn’t care; in a few hours, Ted will never have access to the Internet again. Hopefully Ted makes friends in prison fast, or it won’t be so funny for him.

Well, don’t mess with the hacker’s love.

----------

When you open your eyes, Jake still lies peacefully asleep beside you.

His hair stands wildly off his head and he has put his arms protective around you. Immediately a feeling of home spreads within you and you smile.

His body nestles warm against yours and you wish you could always wake up like that.

Bu, if you didn’t have to use the bathroom.

Carefully peel out from under his arms without waking him.

With leaving Jake’s arms and getting out of bed, the first pictures of last night immediately come back into your head. A few moments you stare at the wall before you shake your head. You don’t want to think about it. Actually, you never want to have to think about it again, you just want to forget it, focus on everything that’s more important now. And this is you, your feeling that you don’t want to get involved in this situation, you don’t want to leave room for this man. You don’t want him to have room in your life, and you don’t want to investigate any further. Actually, you don’t want to know who this guy is. You just want to focus on how lucky you were, that everything went well, that Jake saved you, and that nothing happened to you.

Jake!

You want to focus on Jake! And most importantly, that you finally want to be with him! He was there to save you right away. He was ready to help you immediately, he protected you, especially the way he protected you. The way he sounded, as if he was doing everything he could to save you. And this irrational fear that this could not work with you two, it’s bullshit! You want him with everything he has and you don’t want to be just friends anymore. You long for his lips, for his kisses that don’t just go on your forehead or cheek. You want to finally be able to say that you are a couple, you want him so badly, so damn badly.

Like a miracle cure, the thought of Jake really distracts you. You didn’t even know where your thoughts went, it just happened. But it always is, it’s just in every corner of your mind.

-

After you left the bathroom, you turned on the coffee machine. You’d stay awake and pass the time until Jake wakes up and you could have some breakfast. While the coffee is cooking, you drop down on the small sofa in the hacker’s living room and decide to pass the time with a little bit TV.

You switch through the channels looking for something interesting but don’t really find something you like.

When the Coffee machine gives you confirmation that the hot drink is ready, you quickly jump up and leave the remote control there.

While you prepare your coffee, you listen to an advertisement about an electronic toothbrush and then one about the latest vacuum cleaner.

With your cup you go back and then put a thin blanket from the sofa around your legs.

The News Show that you sometimes see starts broadcasting.

And you really expected a lot, really a lot, but you never expected what was actually going on.

While the news announcer reports on a gang crime, a picture is displayed. There’s a man to be seen, and you’re a thousand percent sure that’s the man who chased you yesterday.

Silently and with your mouth open you are listening as a whole gang was arrested, warehouses and factories were stormed. Drugs and counterfeit money were confiscated and in the end, how a hacker uncovered all this.

During the narration about hacking another channel and the materials shown there such as images and video, your heart begins to beat faster and faster.

And when it is shown what was published there, you put your hand infront your mouth in shock.

"Oh my-" you watch the camera shots where you can clearly see the street, which is only a few streets away from your apartment.

And then you see a censored shadow running, a few moments later a man.

You and the man who was now identified as Ted.

Jake.

That was Jake, you know it!

You don’t know how to react. While the pictures and videos scare you, since this man met you yesterday, you feel moved to tears on the other side. When the hell did he do that?

Did he do it because of you?

Where does he get so much information? Sure, he’s a hacker but THAT?

When the news anchor finally ends her post with the words "This man will probably never see the light of day again" and "The whole Internet speaks about this man and the victim who was persecuted by him. When you see this, we wish you all well!"

You have the feeling that you are breathing again for the first time. Like you’ve been holding your breath all this time without noticing.

You stutter at things, try to explain, sort out and understand your feelings. But somehow, just like last night, it’s too unreal.

"You shouldn’t know that in this way"

Startled you turn around as Jake’s sleepy voice appears behind you.

He's leaning in the door frame and yawns once.

With an open mouth you stare at him, "Did you-?" but you break off immediately because you have no idea what to say.

"Is everything okay? Shouldn’t I have do that? I wanted to tell you myself but now it’s too late. I wanted to teach you gently," explains the hacker, and his gaze slowly turns into a worried one.

"Did you- I mean- you were -" you stutter, can’t bring out a normal sentence. Point you to the TV, to you and back to Jake.

"I’m sorry, MC, I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything," he explains straight away." It was just, I don’t know, I was so mad! I still am! This disgusting bastard was following you, he-"quickly breaks off. His hands are clenched into fists, his eyebrows pulled together and his breath accelerated. However, he doesn’t want to remind you unnecessarily, even if that didn’t work out so well through the news. He really has to hold back from screaming completely and somehow making sure that Ted gets more than what he already has.

"No Jake, I-I" you just can’t find the right words and before you know it, you threw yourself awkwardly over the sofa, rolled over it and stood two steps later directly in front of Jake. Without control, you reach into his neck with one hand and pull his head down towards you. Not quite gently your lips hit on his.

And just as quickly as the kiss came about, you finish it as quickly.

"Oh, um, I... so.. I-" you laugh nervously, still holding his head. "Um, sorry?"

Jake also laughs nervously.

"I shouldn’t have done that," a little embarrassed, you let go of his neck and kick a few steps away from him.

"No, no, everything was fine, I thought it was great, so I mean-" a slight redness adorns Jake’s cheeks.

"Sorry" you mumble with a much too high voice and try yourself on a grin that probably looks like you’re in pain. Jake makes an waving off hand move, then it’s quiet between you for a moment. You chew on the inside of your cheek and let your foot slide across the floor in a semicircle, "Did you..- Did you say you thought it was great?" You ask as unimpressed as possible, as if it were a question about the weather.

Jake’s eyes grow big, "Did you find it bad?"

"No, no, of course not!" you assure him quickly." It was great, I would do it again and again."

You sigh.

Smiling, you put one hand to your forehead and look back at the hacker. Jake smiles too, and then you start laughing out loud. Until you have to hold your stomach and the first tears run out of your eyes.

"We’re so ridiculous," you chuckle, shaking your head over you two.

"Do you think?" Jake asks, grinning, "I find us great together"

"Me too" you agree and look back at him.

"Jake I-"

"MC I-"

At the same time you start to speak and then both of you are immediately silent to let the other go first.

"Do you first" you offer and he returns it to you.

"No, I’m fine, say what you wanted to say," you confirm.

"I can wait, you start"

You’re twisting her eyes again.

However, Jake understands this wrong and at the same time the magic words leave your lips "I love you"

Masterlist

-

And thank you @a-d-alison your submission gave me a lot of motivation🤭❤️

-

[qqueenofhades]

Hi. You made a post a couple of days ago about how queer historical fiction doesnt need to be defined only by homophobia. Can you expand on that a bit maybe? Because it seems interesting and important, but I'm a little confused as to whether that is responsible to the past and showing how things have changed over time. Anyway this probably isn't very clear, but I hope its not insulting. Have a good day :)

Hiya. I assume you're referring to this post, yes? I think the main parameters of my argument were set out pretty clearly there, but sure, I'm happy to expand on it. Because I'm a little curious as to why you think that writing a queer narrative (especially a queer fictional narrative) that doesn't make much reference to or even incorporate explicit homophobia is (implicitly) not being "responsible to the past." I've certainly made several posts on this topic before, but as ever, my thoughts and research materials change over time. So, okay.

(Note: I am a professional historian with a PhD, a book contract for an academic monograph on medieval/early modern queer history, and soon-to-be-several peer-reviewed publications on medieval queer history. In other words, I'm not just talking out of my ass here.)

As I noted in that post, first of all, the growing emphasis on "accuracy" in historical fiction and historically based media is... a mixed bag. Not least because it only seems to be applied in the Game of Thrones fashion, where the only "accurate" history is that which is misogynistic, bloody, filthy, rampantly intolerant of competing beliefs, and has no room for women, people of color, sexual minorities, or anyone else who has become subject to hot-button social discourse today. (I wrote a critical post awhile ago about the Netflix show Cursed, ripping into it for even trying to pretend that a show based on the Arthurian legends was "historically accurate" and for doing so in the most simplistic and reductive way possible.) This says far more about our own ideas of the past, rather than what it was actually like, but oh boy will you get pushback if you try to question that basic premise. As other people have noted, you can mix up the archaeological/social/linguistic/cultural/material stuff all you like, but the instant you challenge the ingrained social ideas about The Bad Medieval Era, cue the screaming.

I've been a longtime ASOIAF fan, but I do genuinely deplore the effect that it (and the show, which was by far the worst offender) has had on popular culture and widespread perceptions of medieval history. When it comes to queer history specifically, we actually do not know that much, either positive or negative, about how ordinary medieval people regarded these individuals, proto-communities, and practices. Where we do have evidence that isn't just clerical moralists fulminating against sodomy (and trying to extrapolate a society-wide attitude toward homosexuality from those sources is exactly like reading extreme right-wing anti-gay preachers today and basing your conclusions about queer life in 2021 only on those), it is genuinely mixed and contradictory. See this discussion post I likewise wrote a while ago. Queerness, queer behavior, queer-behaving individuals have always existed in history, and labeling them "queer" is only an analytical conceit that represents their strangeness to us here in the 21st century, when these categories of exclusion and difference have been stringently constructed and applied, in a way that is very far from what supposedly "always" existed in the past.

Basically, we need to get rid of the idea that there was only one empirical and factual past, and that historians are "rewriting" or "changing" or "misrepresenting" it when they produce narratives that challenge hegemonic perspectives. This is why producing good historical analysis is a skill that takes genuine training (and why it's so undervalued in a late-capitalist society that would prefer you did anything but reflect on the past). As I also said in the post to which you refer, "homophobia" as a structural conceit can't exist prior to its invention as an analytical term, if we're treating queerness as some kind of modern aberration that can't be reliably talked about until "homosexual" gained currency in the late 19th century. If there's no pre-19th century "homosexuality," then ipso facto, there can be no pre-19th-century "homophobia" either. Which one is it? Spoiler alert: there are still both things, because people are people, but just as the behavior itself is complicated in the premodern past, so too is the reaction to it, and it is certainly not automatic rejection at all times.

Hence when it comes to fiction, queer authors have no responsibility (and in my case, certainly no desire) to uncritically replicate (demonstrably false!) narratives insisting that we were always miserable, oppressed, ostracised, murdered, or simply forgotten about in the premodern world. Queer characters, especially historical queer characters, do not have to constantly function as a political mouthpiece for us to claim that things are so much better today (true in some cases, not at all in the others) and that modernity "automatically" evolved to a more "enlightened" stance (definitely not true). As we have seen with the recent resurgence of fascism, authoritarianism, nationalism, and xenophobia around the world, along with the desperate battle by the right wing to re-litigate abortion, gay rights, etc., social attitudes do not form in a vacuum and do not just automatically become more progressive. They move backward, forward, and side to side, depending on the needs of the societies that produce them, and periods of instability, violence, sickness, and poverty lead to more regressive and hardline attitudes, as people act out of fear and insularity. It is a bad human habit that we have not been able to break over thousands of years, but "[social] things in the past were Bad but now have become Good" just... isn't true.

After all, nobody feels the need to constantly add subtextual disclaimers or "don't worry, I personally don't support this attitude/action" implied authorial notes in modern romances, despite the cornucopia of social problems we have today, and despite the complicated attitude of the modern world toward LGBTQ people. If an author's only reason for including "period typical homophobia" (and as we've discussed, there's no such thing before the 19th century) is that they think it should be there, that is an attitude that needs to be challenged and examined more closely. We are not obliged to only produce works that represent a downtrodden past, even if the end message is triumphal. It's the same way we got so tired of rape scenes being used to make a female character "stronger." Just because those things existed (and do exist!), doesn't mean you have to submit every single character to those humiliations in some twisted name of accuracy.

Yes, as I have always said, prejudices have existed throughout history, sometimes violently so. But that is not the whole story, and writing things that center only on the imagined or perceived oppression is not, at this point, accurate OR helpful. Once again, I note that this is specifically talking about fiction. If real-life queer people are writing about their own experiences, which are oftentimes complex, that's not a question of "representation," it's a question of factual memoir and personal history. You can't attack someone for being "problematic" when they are writing about their own lived experience, which is something a younger generation of queer people doesn't really seem to get. They also often don't realise how drastically things have changed even in my own lifetime, per the tags on my reblog about Brokeback Mountain, and especially in media/TV.

However, if you are writing fiction about queer people, especially pre-20th century queer people, and you feel like you have to make them miserable just to be "responsible to the past," I would kindly suggest that is not actually true at all, and feeds into a dangerous narrative that suggests everything "back then" was bad and now it's fine. There are more stories to tell than just suffering, queer characters do not have to exist solely as a corollary for (inaccurate) political/social commentary on the premodern past, and they can and should be depicted as living their lives relatively how they wanted to, despite the expected difficulties and roadblocks. That is just as accurate, if sometimes not more so, than "they suffered, the end," and it's something that we all need to be more willing to embrace.

[diary-of-deadweight]

thank you😊It's a Peter/Pietro imagine where him and Yn are engaged and go to westview. BUT yns "other version"(the avenger one) was killed trying to protect Wanda in endgame. they were best friends. just imagine her reaction seeing the people she loves the most together and happy❤

Ooooh! I love this idea!

Masterlist.

“You know we are an unusual couple.” You started out of nowhere as you unpacked the last of your belongings while your fiancé looked at you lovingly through the body length mirror, wondering how he even got the honour to share the same bed as you and witness the rarity that is your early morning bed head he’d jokingly compare to a rats nest. He’s so in love he couldn’t handle it.

“Oh I doubt that was ever in question I mean look at you then look at me. Many people would have a hard time understanding why a gorgeous individual such as yourself is with a loser like me...” His voice wavered near the end made your heart break in half. Peter looking down on himself for even the littlest of mistakes from breaking glass or inadvertently injuring you somehow, which he took to heart the hardest, hurt you the most because he was the most sweetest, loving, kindhearted man you’ve ever met all the while growing up in a mutant hating society that only made him stronger in your eyes; Moving over to him you held his face within your hands, lifting his head so his eyes looked directly in yours as you pressed a kiss to his nose and watching as it scrunched cutely.

“What did I say about self-deprecating comments mister?” You chastised him lightly. “To make sure you’re out of the house before doing so.” He pouted dramatically when you gasped, weekly smacked his shoulder, reaching up to rub it as if you gave him a bruise. “Peter Maximoff!” “I kid! I kid!” He squealed when you began to attack him with a pillow you summoned to your hand from the bed and the moment you ceased fire the little shit took the opertunity to grab the pillow from your hands and began to attack you with it in retaliation that quickly got boring and you decided to take the moment to snuggle within the others arms, your head resting on his chest and his resting in the crook of your neck taking in the peaceful nature of this quite little suburbian town of Westview.

“We’ve still got neighbours to visit yet.” You muttered sluggishly, half asleep. Normally situstations concerning first impressions had you ripping your hair out from stress and anxiety of coming across as a respectable being and in small towns such as this, word travels fast and assumptions are made on false information but you were calm and collected as can be in the face of such adversity. “Then let’s give them something they won’t be forgetting anytime soon.” Peter replied getting up before helping you to your feet as you made your way down the stairs and out the door to the house to the right of you where muffled yelling could be heard but that didn’t stop him from pressing the doorbell twice out of impatience, bringing the shouting to an end. The door opened and a beautiful woman with auburn hair and blue hues that widened upon seeing you and Peter almost as if she was reopening wound, a painful memeory she thought she suppressed long ago.

-Wanda pov-

If she’d knew beforehand that opening the door would reopen old wounds, she would’ve kept it shut for her own deteriorating sanity but the moment she does so a familiar silver shade of hair and a lively pair of (e/c) eyes were the first thing she sees as painful, torturous memories came back to greet her with the moments she was at her weakest to stop. She lost her beloved brother and she couldn’t save you. Her best friend. So seeing the pair of you smiling and clearly in love was another thing that made her chest tighten and teary eyed at the thought of what could’ve been if she had been strong enough but the fact that you two were here now meant she had been given a second chance at protecting her loved ones from any and all harm that dared to test her. Not unless they wanted to feel the wrath of the scarlet witch. “Pietro? (Y/n)?” Her voice sounded weak and frail, as though she was on the verge of crying while fighting the urge to hold you tightly in her arms to make sure she wasn’t dreaming any of this.

-your POV-

Your heart broke for her but for the life of you there was no recollection of meeting this woman ever in your life, just as you were about to say something Peter beat you to it like always and made a estranged sound that felt forced like he didn’t know how to answer to a name he’s never been called before hearing your own voice speak as though it’s own person, “Hi Wanda, sorry we couldn’t visit you sooner. Pietro and I got lost for awhile.” Lost? Where’d that come from? And why were you calling Peter Pietro all of a sudden? And why couldn’t you remember anything before moving into Westview? You couldn’t answer any of them as you and Peter were embraced tightly by Wanda, sharing a dumbfounded look before forced back into a smile when Peter looked at a red skinned man in dress shirt and smart trousers and said “who’s the popsicle?”

[starkerscoop]

A Blessing in Disguise

I am very excited to announce that this fic now has a Russian translation! I posted this in October on my old blog, and in honor of having a translation recently written for it, I’ve decided to repost it onto this one!

ao3  

Russian translation   

content warnings: discussion of abortion, issues with body image and self-esteem, pregnancy, non-graphic birth

-

Two red lines stared back at him, the image burning itself into his brain. A sudden wave of dizziness washed over him and he stumbled to the ground, too dazed to catch himself. He couldn’t believe that this was happening.

He was pregnant.

He was pregnant, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it, too disoriented at the moment to really tell. He was in his mid-twenties; in his prime and at the perfect age to start making pups, according to society.

But Peter didn’t think he was ready. Of course, the Omega in him had yearned quietly for pups ever since he started going through puberty, but Peter’s priority had always been to make a name for himself in science. He wanted to get his PhD and go on to make revolutionary discoveries; to pave the way for all Omegas and prove that his secondary gender couldn’t hold him back. For years, he’d been competing with Alphas, constantly trying to prove his worth. He couldn’t let all of that go down the drain for a pup.

There was Tony to think about, too. Peter had no idea if he would want to be a father, and he was too terrified to imagine his reaction to the news. He toyed briefly with the idea of not telling him, but that thought was quickly pushed out of his brain.

Tony deserved to know, and Peter had to tell him soon; soon enough that he could still get an abortion, if that was what he wanted.

A knock on the bathroom door brought him out of his thoughts.

“Baby?” Tony mumbled tiredly, voice laced with the thickness of sleep. “Are you going to bed soon? You’ve been in there for a while.”

Peter stashed the cluster of pregnancy tests in the back of the cabinets below the sink. He would have to remember to get rid of those the next day, before Tony could find them. Another knock had him rushing to stand up and wash his face, clearing it of his silver tear tracks.

“Pete?” Tony called, louder now and with more concern, still waiting for a response. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Peter answered, unlocking the door and stepping out of the bathroom.

Tony hadn’t finished scanning him for signs of harm when his nose picked up on the distress radiating from Peter’s body. It was a bitter scent; one that itched at Tony’s instincts, making him want to replace it with something more cheerful at once.

“What’s wrong?” Tony pulled him into his warm embrace, rubbing his back in small circles that bunched up his shirt.

Peter was tired of living in fear. Even if he’d only known about his pregnancy for all of ten minutes, he didn’t want to keep it from Tony for any longer. They didn’t keep secrets. They worked hard to keep their relationship honest, and Peter wasn’t going to be the one to ruin that.

“I’m pregnant,” Peter blurted out.

Tony’s hands faltered but remained on his back, which Peter took as a good sign. He didn’t dare to look up at his face, keeping his own hidden in the crook of Tony's neck. After a few minutes of mutual silence, the older man’s hands resumed their movements.

“You’re pregnant,” Tony repeated. “Sweetheart, that’s - that’s amazing.”

“You want to keep it?” Peter questioned, voice void of any judgement.

Tony recoiled away from him. “Do you not want to keep it? It’s your choice, of course, I’ll pay for the expenses either way.”

“I don’t know what I want to do,” Peter admitted smally. “I don’t want to give up everything I’ve worked for to stay home and take care of a pup. I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove that Omegas are more than pup-making machines. And now I’m pregnant.”

“You don’t have to give anything up,” Tony said firmly. “You can keep studying for your PhD, and get a job after that. I’ll stay home with the pup.”

Peter finally looked up at him. “You’d be willing to do that? I know it’s not - traditional, for the Alpha to be the one at home.”

“Fuck traditional,” Tony declared. “That’s our whole motto, honey. We don’t have to be traditional. And frankly, being there for my pup is a lot more important to me than what others will think of it.”

Peter beamed and threw himself onto Tony, who caught him and stumbled back a few steps from the force.

They quickly learned that pregnancy was not fun. At all. Peter spent most of the days of his first trimester alternating between clutching a trash can and a toilet seat, heaving up the contents of his stomach. Tony was always by his side, smoothing his hair away from his sweaty forehead and making him meals he could tolerate.

The second trimester was a lot more enjoyable. Peter’s stomach had settled down, for the most part, and started forming into a baby bump. He and Tony had completely opposite reactions to that.

“I’m so fat now,” Peter wailed into his pillow. “My body is ruined. I’m going to look distorted forever.”

Tony was patient with him, though, hiding his own glee until Peter was in a better mood. He thought that pregnancy looked amazing on Peter; he was practically glowing with it.

“You’ll be back in shape in no time, honey,” Tony assured him. “You’re still gorgeous as ever.”

Even more exciting than watching the baby bump grow was finding out the sex of their pup. Peter held Tony’s hand as they waited, shivering at the cool gel slathered on his abdomen. Slower than the couple would’ve liked, the doctor turned the screen to them.

They were having a boy.

Both Tony and Peter cried that day. They invited their friends over to the penthouse and threw a small party, accepting all of the gifts their friends brought with big smiles.

The third trimester, and thus the birth of their pup, arrived a lot faster than they expected. Tony had been at a meeting when Peter’s water broke, the latter of whom was in too much pain to drive himself to the hospital, and hobbled over to the bathtub instead.

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupted the shareholder speaking unapologetically, “Peter’s water broke and he is now in labor.”

Tony’s face paled in less than two seconds, and he was out of the meeting room in less than one. He instructed FRIDAY to call the doctor and raced into the elevator, urging his AI to take him up to the penthouse faster than was allowed.

He found Peter curled up in the tub with a pained expression, whimpering in between each contraction as it came and went. He crouched next to him and offered him his hand, grimacing at the strength with which he gripped it.

The doctor joined them twenty minutes later with a nurse at her heels, ushering Tony to the side to crouch in between Peter’s open legs.

Tony knew that Peter would pull through. His mate was strong, with a will that matched his own. That didn’t stop him from wincing at every cry that tumbled out of Peter’s lips, or wishing privately that he’d never gotten him pregnant, because that way he wouldn’t be in pain.

Six hours after Peter went into labor, his groans were silenced by the loud cry of his newborn, who had finally come out. He was dirty, looking more like an organ than a human being, but Tony didn’t get to look at him for very long. The nurse whisked the child away while the doctor finished up with Peter.

Tony stayed with Peter, running his fingers gently through his damp curls. “You did it, baby. I’m so proud of you. You did it.”

The nurse returned soon after, the baby now clean and looking considerably more like a human. The baby was handed to Peter, who held him with shaky arms and watched him breathe through bleary eyes.

“Skin on skin contact is important,” the nurse told them, draping a blanket over Peter’s naked chest and the baby.

They moved Peter to the master bedroom, which was where he would spend his recovery. The baby would be there, too, resting in an incubator once he was taken away from Peter.

“What do you want to name him?” Tony wondered, laying on the bed with Peter. He’d insisted on having the incubator placed on his side of the room, so that he could watch over both of the people that owned his heart. Peter hadn’t minded, had just smiled at Tony fondly and nodded.

Tony was glad. If he looked to the left, he saw the love of his life, relaxing after giving birth to the baby boy on Tony’s right. He wanted to keep them close forever.

“Benjamin Anthony Stark,” Peter told him. “After the most important men in my life.”

Tony swallowed harshly. He’d never imagined naming his child after himself, or having someone else want to do so. He didn’t think there was much to live up to. Peter clearly didn’t agree with that, and there was his proof.

“Ben,” Tony whispered to himself, gazing at their little boy.

It sounded perfect.

[remsmoonlight]

— title : west side polaroids

— word count : 2.4k words

— pairing : john wich x reader

— summary : the first day unbound by the table is marked by you both.

— warnings : none except minimal mentions of death and descriptions of blood

note: please please please go easy on me i have not written any john content in months but omg i adore the song west side by ariana .. issa dreamy vibe , but yeah i couldn’t decide the title so i merged them ..... anyways :)

                     ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   requests are open !   *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Life that does not revolve around the endless cycle of death and immorality is still new to John, the colour of crimson may have well been his favourite colour with how much he’d found it coating nearly every inch of his skin on a frequent basis. Some nights he’d awake and was sure he could see the stains of blood dried into his nails, though the flood of a bedside lamp would soon flush that worry away. Never had he been the one to imagine a life outside of what he knows, though as he stares at his image in the lengthy mirror before him, that’s what he observes in this moment. A free man.

A whole thirty days had passed since that fateful night when he secured his freedom from his .. job, wanting to allow a sufficient recovery time. Any longer and he knew you well enough to know you’d be breaking his front door down. Luckily, many of the cuts and furious bruises had almost completely healed, while some more stubborn than others were covered with a little more difficulty than he’d prefer. Still, he hopes that your reaction isn’t too explosive. With great reluctance he’d shared enough details with you to understand him and why he is the way he is, and should he not make it back you wouldn’t be left in limbo waiting for him to return. Knowing how often you found yourself worrying over him. Since when did I deserve something so good? he asks himself now and every day that greets him.

He never wants you to be left with a ghost. Especially when you had dug so deeply to prevent him from being consumed by the repetition to death and destruction by his ability to maximise results from his body when required.

Contact had been scarce between you both, and you accepted it. Knowing just what was transpiring as you went through your daily activities, wondering what John could be up to. Staying honest to yourself, your mind had conjured up the most ghastly images, a mental sketchbook where the next page would only be worse than the previous. Though, the moment you heard his voice through your mobile, you felt all the tight tension that wracked your limbs alleviate to nothing more than a dull ache that you have since forgotten.

John is a good liar however when he shared the intricate details of the life he had led, his eyes shone a truth and a pain of growing tired of all the slaughter he’d had a hand dipped into many a time. You believed him and you still do. In spite of this it’s still a difficult task for your mind to wrap itself around but for John? You would.

“ there you are, stranger! “ you greet warmly as you open your arms to finally embrace him after so long.

Your eyes shut while you relish the physical contact that you have sorely missed, you release a heavy breath of air as the moment you have been counting down to is here and you can grasp it with your fingertips. Sensations unreliant on your eyes hone in on the comfort you now feel, the smooth material you can feel to the smell of the cologne worn by John ⏤ a gentle smile drifts softly onto your features in response to the warm shield of solace envelopes you whole.

“ it took longer than I thought. “ he says as he shakes his head, you feel the action from your position

“ I'd say.. I thought I’d never see you again. “

“ I wouldn’t let that happen. “ a low whisper travels from his lips, you can feel his warm breath on you as he leans down, the action causing you to shiver at the faintly sinister tone that had been so close to overwhelming them.

In your heart you feel the strength in his words, it’s not a statement but a promise with all the faith and trust poured into them. Never had you met someone as dedicated and resolute as the man, you’d have called him a psychic because whenever he says something it often comes true, born into existence from his drive.

“ that is something I believe. “ you reply, your voice dulling ever so slightly in octaves.

A mighty stone wall had once been John, any attempt to get to know him proved a punishing task. Though, when a crack had become apparent it became obvious that a gentle touch had been a foreign concept for him but when he’d accepted it as real? The taste of what life could transform into made him want more, to open the door he’d never once entertained of unlocking. John is incredibly grateful you’d never become frustrated and left as soon as you’d arrived in his life, refusing to want another life without your touch.

“ so, are we going to stand here all day or are we going to get in that car you adore so, so much? “

With the barest of groans escaping his throat, he reluctantly disentangles himself from your form, already missing the contact with you. Turning, you move with an energetic vigour buzzing in your toes ⏤ from your position you fail to realise John has himself glued to your form with an affectionate warmth pooling in his eyes. The corner of his eyes fondly crinkle ever so slightly at the view.

A forceful wind erupts in the car as it picks up, you can feel the pleasant freshness dance carelessly on your skin, tickling the strands of hair left loose. It feels like a dream you muse as you shift your gaze to John, really beginning to understand the butterflies that all these television shows and movies talk about as you take in the concentration forging itself into his features as his eyes never leave the road. You don’t believe in the idea of destiny, but you can’t help but note how it feels how the stars modified and aligned themselves for you.

Recently, the purchase of a polaroid camera had arrived on your doorstep and today would be the best opportunity to try it out!

“ they’ll leave me alone ⏤ “ he stops suddenly as he assures the unspoken question between you both. Can we live in peace? “ ⏤ us alone now. “

“ you’re sure? It sounds like a shady business, what if someone doesn’t take note? “ worry bleeds into your expression as your foot begins to tap nervously, with only a peek into another society it has left you concerned when John is involved.

“ one thing my world thrives on is rules. Codes. “ he assures you gently, aware of how the other side of the world lives out its gruesome fantasies in real life shocks you.

A heavy hand lays dormant on your leg, coarse fingertips only moving every so often to draw trails on your clothed skin, as if to discover a depth that lays hidden from view. Of course, you both know that John knows every inch of you as you know yourself, many nights spent burning the entirety of the other into your minds with only the moonlight acting as your guiding light.

“ well, I can say that’s good to hear. “ is said by you with a short bout of nervous laughter. “ you can be sure? “

“ you have nothing to worry about. “ he remarks with confidence, attempting to soothe any and all of your fears you have in regards to your situation you both now share.

“ okay, “ you say with a nod, trying to affirm yourself of there being no phantoms pursuing the man behind you from the shadows. “ I trust you, John. I’m just being silly. “

“ you’re not being silly, I understand. “

Silence overwhelms the confined space you share, you take in just the lack of pretence in this moment. Nothing felt between you is forced, an affection woven with a glistening thread so naturally that the bond had been shaped into your reality before either of you had even realised. All John knew was that the curious feeling would be strengthened would he follow his emotions, and that is exactly what he did. Gratitude leaves his heart feeling full at the choice, finally realising that he can settle into a life of normality. An adventure he has never once had but a glow radiates within him at being able to share it with you.

A salty fragrance slowly seeps into your sense of smell, the sounds of seagulls erupting in the distance as you realise just where John is driving you. The chance, living in a city, to go to the beach is scarce thanks to the distance, so you can feel a childish elation swell deep inside of you. Running on this emotion, you pull out the camera held safely in the confines of your bag. Turning it around and shifting your body so suddenly you poke your tongue out and a brief, blinding flash of light erupts before disappearing from existence as soon as it came.

“ oh, now this is a good one! “ you cheer as your lips curve so smoothly into a satisfied grin as you gaze upon the small print held between your fingers.

John says nothing, only knowing of his amusement through the abrupt laughter and warmth blazing so intensely in his eyes.

“ you’ll have to put those into an album or something. “

“ that’s actually a good idea, or a scrapbook? “ you ask with the idea brightening your entire expression. “ documenting this notable day! “

“ yeah, exactly. “ he agrees, a short laugh is shared with you in response. In awe at your naivety, once he’d been envious of the trait ⏤ because you’d never have seen the things he has, but he understands it now. Neither of you can help what you were born into, but he can have control over the person he becomes and that does not include harbouring resentment over something so trivial. The idea seems so foolish now, as it has become something he has grown to adore.

The two of you exit the vehicle, effortlessly your hands find each other through the lengthy space to the other's warmth in yours. John is unable to stop himself from admiring facile peace that clouds your features as you stare upon the limitless majesty of which the deep richness of the blue of the ocean expands way beyond what the eye can distinguish. There’s no worry nor emotional strain colouring itself into burdening your relaxed features.

Your fingers get to work photographing the scene before you, wanting not to document the beauty before you itself but rather the sentiment that dominates the moment with a heavy hand that you’d dare not maneuver away.

From behind you can feel arms encapsulate you against his chest as he parts his lips, as if to say something, mutter some romantic words but he stops immediately. His being wanting to fully submerge himself in a feeling of being enveloped by the serenity. Right now, it’s just you in each other’s company with nothing of the outside world being able to scratch and claw at your attention. He can finally allow himself to be lost in something good, someone who does not see him as a monster, no matter how many atrocities have occurred by his hands. God forbid any ghastly spirits should try to end the dream of this life, he would go to the ends of the Earth to shroud you from any harm from the shadiness he once delved into.

He leaves a flutter of sweet kisses on the crown of your head, you allow a nonchalant smile to illuminate your lips, a soft giggle at the action hovers between you both. John moves his grip to release your waist from his hold, a slow movement towards the bulky camera that lays safe in your grasp. He steps back with a gentleness that he’d never imagined could be contained within his form, and lifts the lens up to his awaiting gaze. You turn just as he lays pressure onto the button, a flash greeting you as you do ⏤ you’re caught off guard, his favourite version of you.

“ come on, John! “ you complain, fingers move to fuss with the loose ends of your hair played with by the tempestuous winds.

“ I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry. “ he apologises with an accompanying smirk, fondly eyeing the photograph of you being caught unaware.

“ it better look good. “ a warning falls from your lips, of course, it’s an empty one ⏤ you wouldn’t spit any venom his way over something so inconsequential.

“ you always look perfect to me. “

With a flood of tenderness and devotion filling your vision, hands inch higher and higher as they snake up the chest of John ⏤ he knows the movement well, a permanent muscle memory that brings him closer to your lips. The touch is so faint, almost feather like, this kiss lacking the pleading need and instinctive desire from his direction ⏤ instead, this one he takes comfort in your presence. He knows you both now have all the time to get lost in one another.

“ you think you can get around me easily? “ you question him swiftly, a good natured air of audacity sparkles in your gaze as you stare up to the tall man.

“ I know I can. “ John promises, already missing the lingering touch you leave behind like a tattoo on his mouth.

“ you sound so sure.. “ you remark, an amused tone coats your words heavily in its substance as your fingertips trace nonexistent patterns in the back of his neck.

John fights himself to prevent a groan of pleasure at the action from clawing its way free from him, already feeling himself melting into your form. He’s surprised you’re not one person.

“ Because I am. “ he states, a lone nod accompanies the action before he descends once more, itching to feel the silk of your lips on his once more on his.

Lifting the camera up at a slant, the crashing of the waves drowns out the click of the camera, he takes out the physical memory of this period of tranquility and adoration. You take it from him, your sight examining the image before you. If you’d had doubts before, you would no longer ⏤ a permanent reminder in picture form of the intimacy and care you share equally.

This is a day to remember.

“ I guess you’re correct. “

[uomo-accattivante]

Great article about Paul Schrader’s The Card Counter - a poker movie that’s not really a poker movie...

Some filmmakers write a hit movie and spend the ensuing years trying to escape its shadow. Paul Schrader never flinched. Forty-five years after his “Taxi Driver” script put him on the map, the writer-director has developed a body of work loaded with alienated anti-heroes compelled to violent and reckless extremes for the sake of a higher calling.

That includes “The Card Counter,” in which Oscar Isaac plays guilt-stricken Abu Ghraib vet William Tell, a man with a gambling addiction compelled to help the revenge-seeking son (Tye Sheridan) of a former colleague. Taking justice into his own hands, Isaac’s William Tell slithers through the Vegas strip in search of questionable salvation, not unlike a certain Vietnam vet named Travis Bickle did from the driver’s seat. As if to cement the comparisons, “The Card Counter” features Martin Scorsese as an executive producer, marking the first time the two men share a credit since 1999’s “Bringing Out the Dead.”

For Schrader, “Taxi Driver” comparisons are inevitable in all his work. “My tendency is to look for interesting occupational metaphors,” Schrader said in a recent interview. “‘Taxi Driver’ hit the bull’s eye of the zeitgeist and it doesn’t die. There’s no way I could’ve planned for that, but it does inform the stories I tell.”

At 75, Schrader continues to churn out movies much like his compatriot Scorsese, albeit on a much smaller scale. “The Card Counter” is the latest illustration of the secularized Christian dogma percolating through his work. “Our society doesn’t like to take responsibility for anything,” he said. “But I come from a culture where you’re responsible for everything. You come into the world soaked with guilt and you just get guiltier.” In his own prickly fashion, Schrader makes movies steeped in empathy for lost souls in search of redemption despite the daunting odds. “We’re all certainly capable of forgiveness,” he said, and chuckled. “Anyone who says otherwise is wrong.”

The “Taxi Driver” dilemma looms large in nearly all of Schrader’s work, from the dazzling high-stakes activism of “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters” all the way through Ethan Hawke’s eco-conscious priest in “First Reformed.” While the latter, Oscar-nominated effort brought Schrader new fans, “The Card Counter” is an even more precise distillation of his aesthetic — a moody, philosophical drama about the vanity of the personal crusade.

Schrader, who has labeled his homegrown character studies as “man in the room” dramas, embraces the parallels as usual. “There is this kind of myth that the taxi driver was this friendly, joking kind of guy who was a character actor in movies,” he said. “But the reality is that it’s a very lonely job, and you’re trapped in a box for 60 hours a week.” He saw the same logic with gambling, a wayward profession generally depicted in the movies in the context of escapist romps, rather than the somber rituals that afflict most players. “I thought about the essence of playing cards every day, or sitting in front of a slot machine. It’s kind of zombie-like,” Schrader said. “You see commercials of people in casinos laughing. But it’s a pretty glum place. Today with slots you don’t even have to pull the lever. You just sit there and let the numbers roll.”

The gambling figure led Schrader to the bigger picture of his character’s conundrum. “I was wondering why someone would choose to live in that sort of purgatory,” he said. “He doesn’t want to be alive, but he can’t really be dead, either. What could cause that? It can’t be a simple crime, murder, or a family dispute. It has to be something unforgivable. And that was Abu Ghraib.”

After the fallout of that debacle, William did time in a military prison, and reenters society before the movie begins. That was a world the filmmaker wanted to understand in clearer terms. Though Schrader has received blowback for his controversial Facebook posts in the past, in this case, the platform was an asset: He used it to track down soldiers who had done time in the United States Penitentiary in Leavenworth, the only military prison in the U.S., to better understand the initial claustrophobic world that Tell endures, as well as the conflict between the justice he’s received and what he deserves. “This man has been punished by his government, set free, and paid his due, but he doesn’t feel that,” Schrader said. “What does he do then? How does he fill his time? That’s how it all began.”

Schrader himself toyed with gambling when he lived in Los Angeles early in his career, but soon gave it up. “I very quickly realized I was only interested in gambling if it was really dangerous and I didn’t want to expose myself to that kind of danger,” he said. Years later, though, the experience helped inform his story. “There is this whole fantasy of gambling movies from ‘The Cincinnati Kid’ to ‘California Split,’” Schrader said. “But poker is all about waiting. People will play 10 to 12 hours a day and two to three times a day, a hand will happen where two players both have chips. Now you’ve got a face-off. But that doesn’t happen very often. Most guys who are there are running the numbers, the probability.”

He envisioned “The Card Counter” as a repudiation of the traditional poker movie, which builds to the giddy release of a final tournament. When that moment arrives in the movie, Schrader takes the movie in a bleak, shocking new direction. “It’s not really a poker movie — that’s a red herring,” he said.

William is immersed in his casino journey when he encounters Cirk (Sheridan), the crazy-eyed son of another Abu Ghraib soldier who committed suicide. Cirk blames the soldiers’ former commander (Willem Dafoe), and hopes to loop William into the plan. Instead, the older man decides to take Cirk under his wing to talk him out of the act, which doesn’t prove so easy. In the process, the gambler forms a curious bond with La Linda (Tiffany Haddish), a gambling agent and pimp whose icy, relentless drive to make the most out of the poker circuit brings William some measure of companionship on his wayward journey.

It should come as no surprise that the “Girls Trip” breakout is nearly unrecognizable in the role of the calculated La Linda, which is also a distinctly Schraderish touch: From his work with Richard Pryor in 1978’s “Blue Collar” all the way through Cedric the Entertainer’s supporting turn in “First Reformed,” Schrader has made a habit of seeking out comedic actors willing to play against type. That’s partly opportunistic on his part. “They’re eager to do it because they want to expand their palette, so you can get them for a price,” Schrader said, chuckling again. “That’s necessary, given the kind of films I make.” But that’s not all: “They will always find a way to be interesting, even when they’re not getting a laugh.”

Which is not to say that the process comes easily to them. Haddish recently told the New York Times that Schrader had to coach her out of speaking in a comedic sing-song. The filmmaker put it in blunter terms. “On the first reading of the script we had, frankly, she wasn’t very good,” he said. “I told her to go back and read every single line without emotion. Then I said, ‘You’re not going to do that in front of the camera, but you can’t hit every line either. So let’s pick five or six lines you can hit where you get a smile or reaction.’ Quickly she got that it was a different rhythm.”

As for Isaac, whose disquieting turn suggests a maniac lingering just beneath the surface, Schrader once again turned to metaphor. “I told him to imagine himself on a rocky coast in the ocean,” Schrader said. “Waves are going to come up and get you all day every day. They’re going to try to batter you. Let them. The waves will go away. You’ll still be there. Don’t compete. In the end, the rocks will win. You have to learn to trust that the way these things are put together has more power than the individual movement.”

William’s routine includes an odd ritual in which he covers all the furniture in his various Vegas hotel rooms with white paper. While the motivation is never explained, Schrader said it stemmed from an experience with production designer Ferdinando Scarfiotti on the set of 1982’s “Cat People,” when Schrader realized the man was doing the same thing. “He said, quite simply, ‘I have to live here surrounded by these ugly hotel furnishings,’” Schrader recalled. The concept inspired the new movie’s most compelling visual motif. “Casinos are very ugly places. There are no exceptions,” Schrader said. “Often you aspire to finding pockets of beauty and there weren’t really any here except the only place he could control, which was his hotel rooms, where he could privatize his visions. I came up with this ritual for him to control those visuals.”

At a certain point, Schrader himself couldn’t control the visuals of “The Card Counter” for more prosaic reasons: After an extra tested positive for COVID-19, the production shut down last March, with five days of shooting left, and couldn’t resume until July. Though Schrader initially took to Facebook to fume at his producers, the pause eventually opened up an opportunity to tweak his vision. “I edited the film and put in placeholders for the five or six scenes of consequence that I hadn’t shot,” he said. “I didn’t have a fully finished film but I could screen it for people. Normally you only get that privilege if you have a big-budget film and you’re allowed reshoots.” The early audience included Scorsese, who provided a crucial note. “I asked Marty, ‘What am I missing?’ He said to me that the relationship with Tiffany and Oscar was too thin. So I rewrote those scenes.”

Schrader asked Scorsese to take on the executive producer credit as a favor. “I said, ‘Marty, wouldn’t it be nice to share a card again? I thought it would help sell the film but it would also be a cool thing to do after all these years,’” Schrader said. “Then a couple of weeks later his agent called wanting to work out a deal. What deal? I asked Marty and he said yes. That’s the deal!” Now, the pair are trying to collaborate on a new long-form TV series based on the Bible, though the timing has been delayed by production on Scorsese’s upcoming “Killers of the Flower Moon.”

In the meantime, Schrader has been mulling over the way “Taxi Driver” not only continues to inform his storytelling but the world at large. “Hardly a week goes by that I don’t notice or hear some reference to it,” he said. “But I don’t know how you’d tell such a story today. A number of writers have tried and I don’t think they’ve succeeded because it has to come out of a certain place and time. We have plenty of these incels around, but they’re not as original or revealing as they were 45 years ago when that character came on the scene. I wouldn’t know how to write about it.”

Instead, his next project is a love triangle called “Master Gardener,” which he hopes to shoot in Louisiana before the end of the year. He has several other potential scripts ready to go after that. And while he has expressed trepidation about the future of cinema in the past, he’s not convinced that audiences have given up on it yet. He recalled a conversation he had with Cedric the Entertainer when “First Reformed” made the rounds. “He said off-handedly to me, ‘You know, I didn’t realize there were so many people who liked serious movies,’” Schrader said, and chuckled once more. “Well, yeah, there are.”

“The Card Counter” premieres next week at the Venice Film Festival. Focus Features releases on September 10, 2021.

###

[darthkruge]

Bellamy Blake Imagine ~ Reunited

Summary: (request) You were dating Bellamy up in the Ark and haven’t seen each other since you got locked up. Now that you’re back on the ground, you finally reunite.

Words: 1820

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, some language

a/n: I absolutely loved writing this. Thank you so much for requesting! I hope this is something like what you had in mind  <3 

~ Italics symbolize flashbacks ~

You sigh as you wake up in your cell. Another fucking day of this torture. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you see the tear-stains on your cheeks and your matted hair. Ever since you got locked up all those months ago, you haven’t been sleeping. It was so fucking stupid. All you wanted was some extra medicine for your mother. She’d been sick for a while and the rations were spread too thin and she works so hard to help you, you thought you’d get away with it. But you tripped the alarm on your way out of med bay and the guards got to you before you even had a chance to say goodbye to her. Or him. Him. 

Bellamy arrived at your door as you sat in the corner, reading one of the mythology stories he lent you. You immediately jumped up and ran into his arms. He chuckled, catching you against him as you wound your arms around each other. 

“How was your shift?” You ask, knowing how hard he works as a guard. 

“It was alright. I’m tired, though. They’ve been riding my ass lately, something about increasing security protocols. I don’t know.” He sighs, frustrated. You frown. You hate the pressure they put on him. You know he’s reliable and takes his job seriously, but that doesn’t mean they need to put all the responsibility on him. 

He sees you upset and his gaze softens. He sighs gently. “I missed you, beautiful.”

Ever since you were locked away, you hoped one day he would show up at your cell. He hadn’t, but not for a lack of trying. You knew that he tried, every day to get to you, just to see you again and make sure you were okay. But the Ark had him on watch, afraid he would do something stupid like try and break you out. So they monitored him constantly. You were glad he at least had the sense to listen. The last thing you could bear is something happening to Bellamy. 

“Holy shit, Y/N” 

You gently bunched your fingers in the dress you were wearing. It was the only one you had and you weren’t used to wearing it. Nice clothing was such a luxury, you were amazed you had saved enough to even buy this semi-clean, hole-ridden one.

You looked down at yourself and fidgeted with your hands anxiously. “That bad?” You ask, cheeks heating up

“Oh, fuck, no! Babe, you look incredible. I mean, you always look incredible. But tonight you look really, really incredible.” Bellany was rambling. He hated that you didn’t see yourself the way he saw you and spent everyday helping you with your confidence. 

You finally look up at him and smile, starting to believe his words. “Thank you, Bell” You whisper softly as he comes up next to you, gently grabbing your hands in his and pressing a gentle kiss to them.

The hoard of guards took you out of your thoughts. Okay, what the fuck is going on? You only saw one guard a day and he brought you food twice, that was it. There were never five guards at once, barreling toward each cell. They break through your door, running toward you and harshly grabbing your arms. You frantically look at them, hoping Bellamy is one of them, but quickly realize he isn’t. 

“What the fuck? What are you doing? Where are you taking me?!” You yell frantically, flailing and kicking as they drag you out of your cell. What if they’re going to float me? They might be overpopulated and need to get rid of the juveniles in the SkyBox. It wouldn’t be too far of a reach. Oh shit, what if something happened to my mom? Is that why they’re taking me out??

Eventually they bring you to a strange-looking ladder, leading up to who knows where. They harshly push you up, as more and more prisoners are filing in behind you. Getting lost in the crowd, you have no choice but to climb up and find yourself on a ship. You are pushed toward an empty seat and sit down, instinctively strapping yourself in. You try and calm your breathing, having no idea what’s about to happen to you. Looking around, you recognize some of your old classmates and others who were in the Sky Box with you. It gives you a small piece of comfort that they all seem as confused as you are. 

You’re jolted from your seat as the ship takes off and realize you’re falling. You hear whispers and realize that holy shit, they’re sending you to the ground.

You hit the ground less-than-graciously and look down at the bracelet those guards must have strapped on you when they pulled you from your cell. Still confused, you move to stand up, your legs still shaky and breathing uneven from the complete stress of the day. You think about your mother and Bellamy, the two most important people in your life who you will probably never see again. You feel the tears rising up and fight to keep them at bay. This is now about survival and you won’t make it if you spend every day living in the past. 

You almost pass out when you hear that voice. “If the air’s toxic we’re all dead anyway,” Someone says. And that voice could only belong to him. It could only ever be Bellamy’s. But how the hell is this even possible? He’s not here, he wasn’t in the skybox. Fuck your brain for playing tricks on you. You know you’ve been thinking about him constantly, but a hallucination is just plain cruel. 

The doors open and everyone runs outside. They yell and scream, breathing in the air as they discover they survived. You walk out, hoping the air will clear your head, but you’re still having trouble. Because it can’t be him. Right?

Regardless, you need to see for yourself. You hastily push through the crowd and your knees almost give out when you see him. Your hand goes up to your mouth, eyes filling with tears as the raw emotion of seeing the love of your life for the first time in months hits you. He catches your eye and his face pales. He blinks, unsure if you’re real. 

You run to him faster than you’ve ever moved before. You don’t care if you’re pushing someone over. You don’t care if you take up all the oxygen in the world. You don’t care if you die in two minutes, so long as you can touch him one more time. You don’t care about anything else but him, him, him. 

You collide with his chest and jump up, legs wrapping around his strong frame. You bury your face in his neck, hot tears sliding down your face. His hands are grabbing your arms, your back, your hair as he feels you and realizes you’re really here. You pull back and so does he, breathless smiles and tears running down both your faces. His arms are now under your thighs, supporting you.

“I thought I would never see you again” You whisper, crying harder.

“Princess, you could never get rid of me that easy” He whispers back, pulling you closer than you previously thought was humanly possible.

He gently sets you down and you collapse into his chest, your head spinning. 

“Fuck, I missed you” You say. 

“I missed you too. God, I missed you. I tried to get to you, I promise I tried. I’m so sorry. They took you away and I didn’t know and I tried. Every day, every night, every second I wasn’t with Octavia or my mother I was looking for you. Even when I was with them, you were always with me. I- I should have been faster, I should have protected you. Y/N, please, I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head quickly, “Bell, don’t blame yourself. Please, don’t do that to yourself. It was my choice to take that medicine, not yours. And I know you tried. Never for a second did I doubt you. And you were with me too. I couldn’t have made it through without keeping the hope alive that I would see you again. But then they took me and I thought I was going to die and I wasn’t going to say goodbye without telling you I loved you one more time.” Your voice breaks, the emotion overtaking you.

Bellamy’s heart shatters. He’s always hated seeing you cry, seeing the pain you’re going through. All he ever wanted to do was make it better. “Hey, hey, hey. Baby, it’s okay now. I’m here and you’re here and we’re okay. Y/N we're on Earth and we’re alive. That’s pretty fucking incredible”

“Leave it to us, huh?” You say, laughing gently.

He smiles and kisses you, deep and strong. Once again, the world fades and it’s just the two of you. You breathe into each other and pour everything into the kiss. All the feelings of doubt, pain, hurt, love, hope, happiness, and relief of the last months are desperately conveyed into this one, single embrace. 

You pull away and look at him, worried. 

He looks at you quizzically. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, God, nothing. I have everything I could possibly want. But it’s just hitting me. Bell, what are we going to do? We’re just a bunch of kids, criminals, on Earth. There’s no society, no rules, no food, no shelter, no water. How are we going to survive?” You say, brain scrambling at about a million thoughts a second.

He places his hands on your shoulders, comforting, but firm. Whenever you started to fall into an overthinking spiral, Bellamy grounded you. 

“Hey, hey. Breathe with me. It will be okay. We’ll figure it out, it’s what we’ve always done. Y/N, you’re brilliant. I’m sure you’ll come up with wonderful ideas to help us. You always do. And we have survival instincts. It may not look like it now, but I believe in this group. We’re going to need each other to survive and I think they’ll realize that.”

You look at him, feeling slightly better. He always knows what to say to put your mind at ease. You smile, realizing that since you found each other you haven’t kept your hands off each other. Literally. Ever since you ran to him that one time, you’ve been touching. You look at his hands which have now traveled to your arms as he gently caresses them. You softly press your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks as you look at him. 

“You are going to be a brilliant leader”

“And I will have the most amazing person in the world right next to me.”

“Obviously. I’m not letting you get all the glory, Blake.”

“I would expect nothing less, L/N.”

--

@sgarrett49​ 

[ravnicaforgoblins]

Ravnica for Goblins

Alignment

Figuring out where on the spectrum of beliefs, morals, and neutrality your character falls can be a challenge. One individual’s Chaotic Good is another’s Lawful Evil. To help clarify things, most campaigns include alignment for significant NPCs, and one can often draw a line between that NPC and that alignment. This doesn’t apply to every NPC, but the more important someone is, the more they come to represent a specific section of the moral grid in a campaign.

Ravnica does this as well, with most of the alignment chart represented by a Guildmaster. This isn’t completely uniform, however, so there’s wiggle room for an NPC to lean one way or the other as fits the story. There are some pretty safe bets, however, who can be counted on to check certain boxes at all times.

Isperia of the Azorius Senate: Lawful Neutral

Isperia represents the goal of the Azorius; objective devotion to upholding the laws as they are written. She was elected to her position because of her ability to look passed right & wrong, instead focusing solely on interpreting Ravnica’s 10d6 of Psychic damage legal system for all disputes.

Lazav of House Dimir: Neutral Evil

Lazav is the Dimir at their most annoying but least murderous. Blatant disregard for everyone’s privacy, but preference for stealing, secrets, and information over assassination. Lazav infiltrates every Guild, including his own, always determined to stay several steps ahead of any potential threat. This is not to say he won’t kill people if necessary, but his is a cold, “bloodstained calculus” methodology. It’s never personal.

Rakdos of the Cult of Rakdos: Chaotic Evil

On this plane, Rakdos is the living embodiment of Chaotic Evil, a title he takes very seriously. It’s just about the only thing he takes seriously, as he prefers to live without rules and have everyone else do the same. Unrestrained hedonism and mayhem are his bread & butter. You do what you want, whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want, regardless of what anyone or anything else says. No restrictions, no inhibitions, no hesitation. Encouraging this kind of destructive chaos in the streets is the only thing keeping Rakdos from embracing more orthodox Chaotic Evil behavior of slaughtering millions, enslaving thousands, and bowing to no one.

The Obzedat of the Orzhov Syndicate: Lawful Evil

Hard to believe there can be something worse than an actual Demon given permission to encourage every sin imaginable, but that is what the Ghost Council are. The Obzedat exist to stretch, bend, and twist every law designed to maintain order, neutrality, or justice so as to benefit themselves. What’s worse is how the Orzhov play innocent when they do it. Unlike the Dimir or the Rakdos who accept and even embrace society’s interpretation of their actions, the Orzhov refuse to be seen as anything but humble, spiritual, gracious public servants. The very antithesis of what they actually are; arrogant, miserly, manipulative bastards. They will point out exactly which laws they are not breaking, which laws there is insufficient evidence to prove they are breaking, and which laws prevent you from punching them in the face right now.

Trostani of the Selesnya Conclave: Neutral Good

If there’s one thing to be said for Selesnya, it’s that they are rarely the problem. The Conclave is perfectly content to keep to their fields & forests most of the time and focus solely on building up their own Guild. In a city where every Guild has a problem with every other Guild, Selesnya is the only one who at least tries to get along with everyone else. They don’t tend to get involved in matters that don’t concern them, but theirs is always a safe haven for those who seek it. Trostani is made up of three dryads representing Harmony, Life, and Order. You don’t get much more Neutral Good than that. The only problem is that Trostani basically never leave their Guildhall, so their influence only spreads so far. The reason they can live so peacefully is because so little of the chaotic city life overlaps into theirs.

Besides them, everyone has wiggle room and gray area to move around in. Both Niv-Mizzet and Borborygmos are canonically Chaotic Neutral, but with their most prominent personality traits being vanity & anger, respectively, the “Neutral” part of that can go out the window quick. Still, almost every Guild has at least a semblance of a position somewhere on the chart to start from. You can basically count on a member of each Guild to be at least:

Azorius Senate: Lawful

This is the Guild that writes the laws of Ravnica, after all. They literally draw their power from this ancient legal code, so it makes sense that, whether an Azorius leans more towards Good, Evil, or Neutrality, they do so lawfully.

Boros Legion: Good

If the Azorius follow the intellectual letter of the law, the Boros follow the passionate spirit for which said law was originally written. Justice, not legal-ese. Sometimes the law is good enough, but sometimes it fails its citizens. A Boros should be an inspiring force for Good, whether Lawful or Chaotic depends on the individual.

House Dimir: Neutral

The best a Dimir operative can hope to achieve, morally speaking, is neutrality. If you are working for this Guild, you are lying & stealing. Odds are you are infiltrating another Guild to find/steal information to report back to your superior(s). Not every Dimir agent does this willingly, however. Maybe a character only became a Dimir operative after finding out their mentor was. Maybe a character had nowhere else to turn and no one else to depend on. Maybe they just needed House Dimir’s connections to get them close enough to someone in another Guild who wronged them. Whatever the motivation, cling to that gray area of neutrality like your life depends on it. It’s all you’ve got.

Gruul Clans: Chaotic

Gruul are many things. “Lawful” is not one of them. If you’re a member of a Gruul Clan, you’ve definitely got a bit of a temper on you and a strong disregard for authority. Now, a Gruul can absolutely be a force for good, or, conversely, evil. Maybe you joined the Gruul after your ancestral home was bulldozed over for a smelly Izzet facility. Maybe you had a mental breakdown after decades of trying to uphold law in a city where the laws mean jack shit unless there’s a guy in blue sitting at his desk. Maybe you got tired of planting trees and getting stepped on. Maybe you don’t like the pretentiousness of so-called “artists”. Maybe you just like hitting things. Whatever your reason, the Gruul will welcome another anarchist.

Golgari Swarm: Chaotic/Evil/Neutral

The Golgari Swarm are the first Guild where you’re really going to find a lot of diversity in alignment. Some definitely fall into the chasm of Chaotic Evil Necromancers, others stand firmly in the fields of True Neutral Rot Farmer, and some idly wander between the two. Necromancy is pretty normal in Golgari society, and “Evil” can be considered a harsh word to describe it. It’s definitely more normalized in the Undercity than it is on the surface. A lot of typically Evil behavior is like that for the Golgari, lest we forget that this society of giant bugs, necromancers, zombies, medusa, etc also run the sewage system and food stamps program for the city. That said, there are definitely Golgari with sufficient ambition/motivation to become ready-made Big Bads. What is a Lich, after all, but a wizard who says, “No, I’m too important to die!”

Izzet League: Chaotic

If there’s one predictable aspect of the Izzet, it’s that they are unpredictable. For a Guild whose founding principle is “I wonder what would happen if....”, it’s best to accept that you’ll never be Lawful. Your job, as it is, is to look at laws (nature, physics, etc) and poke at them with electrodes to see what happens. Your focus will always be on things that haven’t been written down yet, as opposed to what already has. It’s almost literally impossible to be Lawful and Izzet for that reason alone. As far as Good, Evil, and Neutral go; that’s up to the individual. This experiment could replicate food so we never have to eat Golgari rations again! Or it could replicate essential personnel to prevent understaffing! Or, it could even replicate.... ME (cue maniacal laughter).

Orzhov Syndicate: Lawful

The Orzhov, like the Azorius, draw their power and influence from the laws of Ravnica. Evil is expected, though not mandatory, but Lawful is a requirement. An Orzhov who doesn’t know their way around Ravnica’s laws is a loose end, and the Orzhov don’t allow loose ends to jeopardize their schemes & ambitions. One can absolutely be a Lawful Neutral Orzhov, also known as an Accountant, but such individuals rarely find their way into a life of adventure. A Lawful Good Orzhov can exist, but your greatest adversary will be the large majority of your Guild who sees you as a potential threat to their illicit activities. In which case, you’ll want to know those laws even better than they do.

Cult of Rakdos: Chaotic

Chaos is mandatory, evil is encouraged. By “Evil”, we mean “things people tell you are Evil”. Anything you would do while drunk you should be able to do at all times! There’s really only three rules in the Cult of Rakdos:

Rule #1, Rakdos is #1

Rule #2, JUST DO IT

Rule #3, Don’t be boring

Being Neutral breaks Rule 3, being Good breaks Rule 2 and/or 3, and being Lawful breaks all 3 rules. Which reminds me of the fourth rule:

Rule #4, NEVER break Rule #1

Truthfully, being Chaotic Good or Chaotic Neutral is perfectly fine as long as you don’t impede on someone else’s hedonism without a reason, or lack thereof. As long as you’re being free & crazy, that’s what really matters.

Selesnya Conclave: Good

As stated with Trostani, Selesnya is a pretty consistent force of Good, if nothing else. They don’t really do hate, you know? Life in the Conclave is pretty uniformly Good, so why make trouble? Why can’t everyone just be Good? In short; ‘cause they don’t wanna, none of your business, go hug a tree, and/or because fire is FUN. Lawful fits some individuals but can just get in the way for others. Neutral is pretty solid but some things must call you to act. Chaotic is if you really want to embrace being a Nature Warrior in a planet-sized cityscape. Selesnya is the Guild for goodie two-shoes, as if that’s a bad thing.

Simic Combine: Any

The Simic Combine is the one Guild that can honestly fall anywhere on the alignment chart. The Guild started out as Doctors, Naturalists, and preservers of life. Now it also operates large-scale bioengineering. You can have a Lawful Good Simic Paladin committed to preserving life and health, a True Neutral Simic Forcemage (Druid) dedicated to living a simple life bolstering plant growth, or a Chaotic Evil Simic Wizard who has decided on everyone’s behalf that flippers and gills are now mandatory. Just like science can be used for great Good, great Evil, or mundane routine, the Simic Combine can turn its experiments to any purpose, depending on the individual. And whereas the Izzet are firmly Chaotic, the Simic have the foresight to think ahead before they try an experiment. You can be anything you want in the Simic Combine, just plan it out.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hi! Anon form HP's classmates ask. After reading the Lavender, Parvati, Dean, and Seamus, I forgot to ask you these: Cedric (I don't think you did him), Cho (pretty sure you didn't do her), and Marietta (even though we barely see anything of her). Oh and also Colin if you can. If it's too long just do the first two. Thanks, and have a good and safe day! =)

Well, I have to confess, these will probably be a lot more boring than you’re expecting. I do tend to have opinions on arbitrary Harry Potter characters, but there’s also a lot of NPCs that, well, I really don’t think about them much. They’re kids, they go to school, seem nice enough, the end. 

Not all my opinions are made of spice.

But, with that, let’s begin.

Cedric Diggory

Really not much to say on him.

Seems like a nice enough guy, I appreciated that he was a Hufflepuff so we got to see at least someone from that house that was a really cool dude, the house division also helped explain why we’d seen and heard so little about him (I think he gets a brief mention as being Seeker for Hufflepuff in Prisoner of Azkaban).

For me, what stands out about him is mostly the tragedy. Here was this young man, in the prime of his life, with his whole future ahead of him who senselessly dies.

Had he not accompanied Harry, he would have lived, and it was pure unfortunate luck that he did. And then it’s over so quickly, just a demand of “kill the spare” and he’s dead. That’s it, it’s all over.

And then his death is made a mockery of, overwritten, then willfully forgotten by society.

He’s used as evidence by Harry and Dumbledore for Voldemort’s return, his murder is pinned on Harry by the government, and by the time the government admits to what happened they’ve moved on to bigger problems.

We only really see the mourning of Cedric from his father and later Cho. Harry’s messed up about it, but it was more from witnessing the event, he didn’t really know Cedric that well as a person. In fact, he feels very awkward and put out when it becomes clear that, a few months later, Cho is not handling her boyfriend having been murdered by a dead man very well.

And that’s what strikes me about him, just how easily he’s forgotten, and how sad it all is.

Cedric might be the reddest of red shirts in Harry Potter.

Cho Chang

I wish more had been done with Cho.

I know, I know, we get a lot of Cho.

But we get Cho in the context of Harry’s first romance, his crush that later sets him up for Harry/Ginny (JKR is fond of using other pairings to set up her main pairing, we see this also with Ron/Lavender). They give it a whirl, Harry finally gets what he wants, and it turns out to not really be his thing.

Cho is too girly, enjoys things like Madame Puddifoots, and is clearly still hung up on Cedric. The whole thing ends very awkwardly and we get a Harry who’s ready to move on to Ginny by book six.

That said, that’s what I like about Cho. She has this great boyfriend who she really liked, he dies horrifically and tragically, and she’s left trying to sort through the aftermath. She ends up clinging to Harry as he is a) Harry Potter and essentially Jesus b) the only witness to what happened to Cedric. To her, I imagine, she and Harry share this unbreakable bond after fourth year. She was closest to Cedric in the school, the only one who truly seems to want to mourn him, and Harry watched Cedric die. 

Cho lives in this world where Cedric’s death has been made a political issue. That his dying seems not to have mattered, indeed, is barely discussed so much as the manner in which he died. People are constantly fighting whether a deranged Harry did it, Voldemort came back, and Cedric gets forgotten somewhere in the middle.

And Cho tries to move on, she tries to embrace the fight against Voldemort, prepare herself to defend her nation and help fight against the man who murdered Cedric, but it just doesn’t work out. Because ultimately, they’re a bunch of kids in a room practicing the patronus. And even in the DA, despite acknowledging that Voldemort’s back, it’s still never about Cedric. It’s all about Voldemort and what’s coming, Cedric, oh yeah, poor guy, what a tragedy, the first casualty of war.

So, mostly I just feel very bad for Cho, and wish we could have seen more of her to see what the effect death has on people. We have Harry’s reaction to Sirius’ death but... in a weird way he actually gets over that kind of quickly. This isn’t the post for it, but to me Harry was always more upset by the loss of what Sirius represented than Sirius himself.

Marietta Edgecombe

Marietta does not deserve the hate she gets. Sure, she decided to leave the DA and snitched. But you know what, they’re fifteen year olds in a boarding school, and the DA while stupid was also kind of terrifying.

I mean, you suddenly find yourself in a group called “Dumbledore’s Army”, which is actively preparing itself for “fighting against the dark lord” and possibly “against those who deny his return”. The club has all these rules about secrecy, which at first seem reasonable as it’s against the rules, but then start sounding pretty scary. It sounds like you just signed up to launch a coup against the ministry on Albus Dumbledore’s behest. Had I been in DA,I like to imagine at some point I’d start thinking “what the actual fuck?”

More than that, Marietta’s family is on the line. Her mother works for the ministry. Her mother could be fired or perhaps even persecuted if this got out. Shit starts getting very real for Marietta.

So, Marietta leaves and snitches, and then she gets stitches.

Hermione gleefully scars and deforms her, something Marietta will carry with her for the rest of her life. I mean, can you imagine if Hermione had said, “Oh, by the way, if you rat us out I will personally murder you. Just kidding, but I will cut up your face, snitch” that anyone would react well? Which is probably why Hermione just stuck to an ominous vague warning instead. The true noble members, after all, would never think of leaving.

So yeah, given Hermione, actually given all of it (including Harry’s complete lack of sympathy for Marietta being branded when Cho tries to bring up her situation) the DA absolutely should have been shut down. My god, it was spiraling out of control, and given Harry and Hermione could have honestly gotten to the point where they took out hits on, oh I don’t know, Draco Malfoy. 

You laugh, but I’m serious, they would totally do that.

Colin Creevy

It’s very bold of JKR to assume I care at all about Colin.

Colin’s one of the typical HP NPCs, quirky enough to be memorable, gives us a nice muggleborn student, weird kid but around enough that we remember him.

Then he dies in the Battle of Hogwarts, where many of our main characters survive, and I’m supposed to be absolutely devastated. COLIN IS DEAD, FRED IS DEAD, THE WORLD IS SO SAD.

We barely know Colin, his dying is just there to wrack up the red shirt numbers and make the last book of Harry Potter feel more like an actual war with actual consequences.

Sad that he died, but certainly not a tear jerking moment for me.