#if anything tk would drive nascar

[butchmarner]

ask me about my tknp small town dirt track motorsport au

[maxbegone]

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you said that already. What if something happened to you on a call or when someone wasn’t around?”

“Anything can happen to anyone at any time,” he counters, but TK isn’t having it. “I’m not special.”

“Maybe not, but you’re my dad! What happened to us? What happened to you trusting me?”

“I do trust you—”

“You clearly don’t!” TK snaps. “If you had just said something—”

“Saying it out loud made it feel more real!”

The room plummets into a cacophony of silence, a staring contest breaking out between them. TK’s determined not to break first.

He wins.

“It felt like the universe finally caught up with me for getting out that day when so many others didn't,” his dad explains solemnly as TK’s heart cracks further. “Something told me to do this alone, and I hate that I didn’t tell you. If I could go back,” he taps his chest, “I would.”

“Well, you can’t.”

His dad stares at him. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Not immediately, at least.”

“That’s one thing you’re right about.” He walks away without a second look, jaw set and unblinking. “Buttercup already ate.”

The door slams behind him as TK marches toward his car at a clip, peeling out of there at a speed that should have Nascar scouting him.

His first thought is to drive home; it makes sense, it’s safe there, but the idea of explaining this to anyone makes him want to explode. And he does as soon as he hits a red light, growling and yelling as loud as he possibly can as he smacks his hands on the steering wheel.

He winds up driving to the loft anyway out of habit, but books past just in case Carlos or any of their neighbors are outside and see him. It’s then that he remembers his phone is still off.

After an hour of mindless coasting, TK pulls into a convenience store parking lot and lets his head fall back against the headrest.

“If I could go back, I would.”

His left leg is bouncing uncontrollably, blunt nails catching on his jeans as he runs his hands over them. He wants to scream again, but if he does, he’ll likely alert someone walking past his car, so he finally turns his phone back on and gives Carlos a call.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hi.” It’s crazy how his boyfriend’s voice alone can bring him back down to earth. He runs a hand over his face.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just…my dad and I got into a bit of a thing.”

“A thing?” He can hear Carlos set something down on his end. “Is everything okay?”

“Um. I don’t know. I mean, we’ll be fine but. I don’t know.”

When he looks in the rearview mirror, he realizes he’s crying. To be fair, TK looks completely haggard — his hair’s a mess from running his hands through it as he drove, his bottom lip is practically chewed raw. He drags his thumb over it, imagining Carlos doing just the same when he gets home, tsking softly as he worries about it.

TK wipes at his cheeks and says, “I’ll be home in a little bit. I just need to clear my head.”

“Okay,” Carlos replies softly. “You sure you don’t want me to meet you? We can go downtown tonight, maybe get some food someplace quiet? Maybe take a walk somewhere?”

God, TK loves him and the way he gets him to crack a smile. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll be here. Hey, maybe I’ll pull some blankets out on the couch, we’ll watch a movie or something?”

“That sounds great, baby, thank you.”

“Drive safe.”

“I will,” TK breathes. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He tosses his phone onto the passenger’s seat, folds his arms over the wheel and rests his forehead against them. This is something he should think about, something he should rationalize and weigh out the pros and cons of. Fuck, he should physically write out a list, but this news is…it’s rocking him.

At the end of the day, TK has a choice that no one else really has — he can fix this. Or change something, at least.

And that’s exactly what he has to do.