#i might make a tag for him
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Backstory for Alfonso "The Face-Breaker" Tombstone, the half-orc monk:
His dad is a human, was sort of a wandering type in his youth and spent some years close to a more neutral tribe of orcs where he fell in with an local lady. After she had Al, she wanted nothing to do with either of them due to a half-breed son being something that would make her a pariah within her community, so Al's dad took his son and they left to plant new roots. They eventually settled down in a mostly human/dwarven town where his dad found work as a simple laborer, married a human seamstress, and had two more kids. Despite the loving family, life was still hard for Al outside of that given he experienced quite a lot of ostracization from the townsfolk who had little love in their hearts for orcs.
Al never received a formal education and the fact that he can read or write at all is due to his adoptive mother being quite adamant about teaching all her children. While this makes him come across as simple, Al is a relatively curious soul, mostly interested in the people around him who will give him the time of day. By the time he was in his teens, he was well known around his town as a helpful, polite sort of creature who rarely got into trouble with the adults.
When he was old enough, Al started doing manual labor gigs to help his family out of some debt and eventually got into illegal boxing matches that paid more than even a months worth of construction work would as his natural capabilities from his heritage gave him an edge in a fight. After a few years of this, as he hit his early twenties, he was scouted for a more performative career. In the athletic theater of professional wrestling, he found a niche to fall into with ease, combining raw strength, showmanship, and athleticism to become something of a local 'evil' darling with the cruel and violent character that was Alfonso "The Face-Breaker" Tombstone which he played.
Local gigs turned into traveling to different cities for different circuits. He met a tag team partner. The crowds loved a big scary orc and his little evil halfling 'master' who he'd toss around the ring. His notoriety was gaining traction, but Al wanted more, wanted a change.
He didn't like being the stereotype he'd always been, constantly badgering his manager and company to let him change his character. To play the good guy, the big hero that was closer in personality to Al in reality, as he was well known in his circles for being a companionable, encouraging man who was always willing to help newbies and never brought drama outside of was mandated in a match. But The Face-Breaker made money and the crowd doesn't want an orc as the hero, so his requests for a heel-face turn were summarily denied.
Then his tag team partner died of a tragic accident. And his girlfriend breaks up with him for another more popular human wrestler. And then management decides they don't like how well regarded this half-orc is, so he's put on the fast track to his character getting shuffled out and forgotten.
It's all going to hell, but Al's keeping up the optimism even as he's traveling to Baldur's Gate to lose in a humiliating fashion. Thank the gods he gets kidnapped and wormed and crash landed into the middle of nowhere with a bunch of horny weirdos. Problem is, Al isn't an adventurer, he doesnt know much about the wider world other than what he's been exposed to, and all of this is going way over his head.
Thankfully, he's got a good head on his shoulders and he's a quick learner which is going to help become regarded as what he's always wanted to be in some shape or another: a goddamn hero.
Random extras:
Al's real name is Algrusk, not Alfonso. He adopted the new one when he started working outside of his hometown. He's always gone by Al ever since he was a kid.
His mother also taught him how to sew, garden, and cook. He made his own costumes when he first started wrestling and he's relatively handy in the kitchen, a boon when you're a mid-twenties bachelor.
Al has had several relationships with women that have never lasted more than a year or two. He's never had anything more than a one night stand or short term friends with benefits sort of situation with men despite the fact he tends to find himself infatuated with men more often. Part of this is that he's fallen into the expectation of giving his parents grandkids and that is just how he's always viewed finding a partner and his own life plan.
Al's a very down to earth kind of person who's main concerns until getting main characterizationed have been what's in front of him: living another day, his family, his work, paying his bills, etc etc etc. Because of his lack of education and low class upbringing, Al associates mostly with other performers, laborers, and the common folk, finding he has a hard time relating to the upper echelon of society. He also does not really worship any gods, and doesn't see them as much to think about as he is not someone important enough for them to think about as well.
#jacq writes#i might make a tag for him#who know#now hes going to romance a guy who wants to be a god which...#wowsers thatll be a fun convo#he genuinely hasnt met a wizard before. or had any experience with the undead. or the fey.#hes just a regular guy who does wrestling#now hes dealinf with mindflayers and cults and gods and hags and stuff??? what the fuck?#bg3
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(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:
"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"
#now. how on earth do i begin to tag this. um.#link#loz#totk#totk spoilers#light dragon#dragon link#loz au#totk roleswap au#there . i'll add more if they come to me LOL#um i can talk about some of my insps i guess?? might make another post too#so mostly i just dont really like turning him into 'light dragon but male' and giving him slightly darker colours or something like that#this also obviously isnt exactly like the botw dragons either though and its a bit more of a mix of other creature concepts i enjoy#since everyone agrees he'd have a farosh horn i wanted to make him a kirin/unicorn :) which is why his tail looks like that#aside from the obvious eastern dragon insps and what ive picked and chosen from the botw dragons#and obviously this looks a lot like wolf link. thats on purpose#i wanted to give him some fierce deity design refs too but because this is so dark/earthy they didnt look very fitting#but honestly you could do a whole fierce deity dragon design on its own i think#okay lots of tags but IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. okay. let me have this.#my art#dragon link au
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this is opla!zoro, to me 🙂
#one piece#one piece live action#opla#crazy that i have to actually tag for spoilers… i never watch things within six months of the release#usually it’s like. years…#zoro#usopp#luffy#someday i might tag my vaguely shippy art#but for now im choosing to leave it up to the viewers interpretation#anyway i enjoyed opla a lot but my general opinion of zoro is ‘i can make him worse :)’
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FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 61-64)
* I-I don't think we were talking about the same thing...
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#FINALLY FINISHED THIS WOHOO#Okay so#I have been keeping this small part of info secret for SOOOO long and it was so funny that JUST this week I got a ton of asks about#Wingdings' voice and I was SO tempted to talk about this little detail#BTW I DIDN'T FULLY MAKE THIS UP#i mean#Yeah I did#BUT IT IS BASED ON SOMETHING I NOTICED!!!!!!#When redacted talks in Wingdings the sound is clean#but when we listen to entry 17 (which is most likely a recording)#There's a VERY loud overlay of garbage noise#And so I was like#I could use this.........#like yeah a sound based on symbols?? we can't understand it! but our brains might do the work for us and maybe try to understand it?#but recording it goes very bad.....#I thought it was fun so I made it a hc for Gaster#and then I applied it here :D#lol#I think the pacing of this one is also a bit too fast but ehh#I hope it's clear#I am so proud of how I drew Alphys in these pages I feel like I am finally understanding her shape and how I want to stylize her#Sans is very good at reading people#He can tell when people are lying#that's why Wingdings didn't lie! he just conveniently forgot to tell him some details about what they found#okay yeah that's enough#TIME FOR THE TAGS#undertale#forgettable-au#forgettable-au-comic#sans
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Finally: The Official DBHC Etho Reference Sheet!
I had to clarify that the “current” look is for Season 9, because I’m not sure how or if he’ll change for s10 yet! The “current” version is essentially his updated “default” look! Thought I might mention also that “Back Around” on the loose timeline lineup at the bottom is a reference to a song on his playlist in which he takes some time away from everyone after re-deviating to re-remember and find himself <3
Side note: Etho wears his mask under his chin mostly just around bdubs, but he starts wearing it down more often around doc, tango, or others who are used to seeing the damage. More than anything else, he’s sure to keep it for protection purposes when he’s outside working, exploring, or anything else that isn’t just hanging and chatting with friends :]
#dbhc ref#I’ll be putting all of the official character references and the Android guide under that tag btw!#dbhc#dbhc etho#dbhc art#ethoslab#hermitcraft au#hermitcraft#hermitcraft dbh au#etho#art escapades#VERY EXCITED TO SHARE THIS#this had been sitting in my folders finished for a while but I had to add a bunch of little notes that I forgot to initially!!!#IT WAS WILD DRAWING PRE-DEVIANT ETHO AGAIN THOUGH I miss him#not really but. yknow#I might make a note later about little changes that happen after destruction because I imagine doc and xisuma try very hard to#restore the cracks as close as they can but it’s not Perfect#BUT ANYWAY#YIPPE ETHO REF SHEET#character ref sheet#Android etho
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imagine astarion so pale hes translucent like a glass frog. ur vampire so white he see through 😭😭
#bg3#astarion#baldurs gate 3#bubbles made him whiter noooooo#im always like a step away from just making this thing a zombie and i might. ive been thinking of it#there was a small appin doodle in between but tumblr will not upload with it included so oh well...#tell me if you need this tagged btw. idk if it would be in the gore realm or not
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DPxDC the Olympics AU.
Jazz is competing for sharpshooting
Dick is competing for team gymnastics
Y’all can work it out from there :)
#maybe he’s solo men’s gymnastics too I just think he’d be in a team to put less eyes on him#dpxdc#danny phantom#dp x dc#bones prompts#the Olympics has issues with preventing olympians from doing the devils tango after all#and yet I just think they would get along great as both older siblings and people with too much weight in their shoulders#jazz got so worried about accidentally shooting her brother she got some of the Best of the Best sharpshooters from the GZ to train her.#she got better and better and better until she showed off her skills to one of her coworkers once when they went to the range and told her#she was Olympics level of good. she went to the tryouts bc her coworker insisted on it#and to her surprise she was accepted. she knew she was a good shot but the reality of just HOW good came crashing down in that moment#holy fuck she could make a name for herself and win a gold metal. might as well have fun and try right?#bones writes in the tags
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This redraw edition includes many adorable babies (these babies in question being four very much murderous older teenage people and one +100kg teen dragon)
Refs underneath
For the second one this is the post where I have the image from
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#ninjago fanart#cablart#ninjago redraw#meme redraw#my children… so silly…#ninjago shitpost#ninjago arin#arin ninjago#ninjago sora#sora ninjago#ninjago wyldfyre#wyldfyre ninjago#ninjago euphrasia#euphrasia ninjago#ninjago riyu#riyu ninjago#mr frohicky#ninjago frohicky#alfonzo frohicky#tagging him because there’s a giant plushie of him and i need it. stat.#(might actually make it someday but oh boy would that amount of fabric cost a lot)#no i haven’t figured out how to draw teen riyu yet shhh
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I love you spy churin, I'd let you play hot wheels on me
#tw blood#anyone who gets the metal gear references gets a kiss on the head from me#aventurine#dr ratio#veritas ratio#agent au#spy au#aventio#ratiorine#hsr#spyturine#?? is that a tag what do you call this#contemplated drawing him offing someone with a pencil (john wick) but that *might* have been too much#idk what came over me but once I started I couldn't stop + this new brush I found is a lifesaver#I switched to Clip Studio Paint just forthis singular brush. Don't let anyone tell you a brush can't change lives#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#art#my art#sketches#fanart#artists on tumblr#blood#i tried to not make it danganronpa blood forgive me
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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but i crumble completely when you cry . .
katsuki comforts you
katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things
he hates people who walk slow, he hates people who chew loudly or people who talk loud in places they know damn well they shouldn’t.
he hates when people walk on the back of his shoe and he hates idiots like kaminari who talk during movies.
but most of all, katsuki bakugou hates seeing you cry.
it sparks something in him, something red, hot and so angry when he finds you in your dorm. tears running down your cheeks that show no sign of stopping. he hates it even more when you make eye contact and you curl into yourself even more from where you’re sitting on the floor.
katsuki immediately decides this is the thing he hates the most.
he’s on you in seconds, kneeling in front of you, searching around to get a peek of your face hidden in your knees. he places his hands on top of yours where they’re wrapped around your legs and his chest tightens when you flinch a little.
“ who was it ? who did this to you ?” he can’t recognize his own voice, his words come out so fast he barely registers what he’s saying.
you try to speak but nothing but more broken sobs and shaky breaths come out as you desperately try to catch your breath and katsuki realizes that you talking isn’t a priority right now.
his eyebrows are furrowed and he almost looks angry but he’s so, so worried. if anything, he’s angry at himself for being so helpless, for not being able to help you in a time where you clearly need it.
he grabs your shoulder softly and the weight his chest lightens slightly when you lean a little closer to him, before letting him pull you tightly into his arms
“breathe for me.” he utters softly, voice gruff and gravelly. he never actually talks this softly unless he’s around you, the difference is so stark it surprises him a little bit but he’s got more important things to think about. praise spills from him occasionally, muttering a “you got it. i got you” into your ear before pressing a kiss to your temple.
katsuki’s never really had to comfort anyone, he’s never felt the need to, but you’re not just anyone. your different, you’re his. his love his everything and he’ll be damned if he didn’t try his hardest for you.
you’ve calmed down a little bit, he noticed. you’re breathings calmed down a little and your sobs have been reduced to snivels. the tightness in his lungs is still there, but it’s less now.
“what’s goin’ on with you, hm ?” you’re grip tightens on his arm and you shove your head deeper into his chest. he moves his head away from your shoulder so he can place two small kisses on the top of your head
“talk to me, baby. needa know what’s up with you.” he pleads into the crown of your head. you sigh before speaking up.
“ i don’t know what’s up with me i just- it’s nothing bad i’m—” you’re desperately searching for the right words to use so what you’re about to say makes sense. “i just don’t—feel like myself today. i don’t know why, i just feel really bad today.” you let out a humorless chuckle and your voice dies out when you finish “m’sorry if i worried you” you sniffle.
he shushes you, his grip on you tightens when he hears you whimper “don’t..don’t fuckin’ apologize to me, got no reason to.” he spits. he sounds angry, and he is, why should you ever feel the need to apologize for feeling some type of way around him ?
“s’okay for you to feel that way..i do too, sometimes, you know ?” he knows you do. he knows you do because there are times where he comes to your room in tears, shaking and panicked. completely and utterly lost from the nightmares that had plagued him minutes before but knowing he had to come see you. you were there for him every time, gently soothing him and assuring him that he’d be okay. he owed it to you to do the same for you.
“s’okay to feel like shit sometimes, happens to the best of us.” he whispers “ but you can always come to me when you do, can deal with it together. an’ don’t go thinkin’ yer ‘bothering’ me either.” he says, parroting what you had just told him. “we’re together for a reason, dummy.” he’s soft spoken and his voice is so mellow despite his harsh little nickname for you, you could’ve missed it if he wasn’t sitting so close to you, it makes you a little dizzy and a little weaker in you’re already mushy knees.
he grabs your shoulders gently to get your eyes on him. they’re still a little glossy but they’re a little less dull when he looks at you “ we’re in this together, always have been, always will be, got it ? “ he asserts, waiting for your response. and then you smile at him, it’s faint but it’s there and katsuki feels like he can breathe again. he smiles back softly at you when you respond with a soft “okay.”
you suddenly grab onto him and pull him into you tightly, locking him in a tight embrace and squeezing like you’re pressing a lemon. it throws him off for a second before he’s squeezing you just as hard, pressing your body against his.
“thank you, katsuki. you’re the best” you hum. he presses a long lingering kiss to your temple as response, before squeezing around your waist “ course i am.” he gloats. the smirk on his lips grows when you snort in response “what’re you laughing about, hah? don’t think so? don’t think i’m the best ?” he jests, using this as an opportunity to tickle you mercilessly. you kick and squirm but it’s no use, katsuki doesn’t stop until you’re a heaving , giggling mess. tears in your eyes as you plead and beg for him to stop but he doesn’t let up even when you’re laying on the ground with him on top of you.
“ i ain’t hearing what i wanna hear, you know what i want from you, baby.” he chuckles at the way you desperately gasp for breath, choking on your own spit in the process.
“y-you’re the ! the best, ‘suki ! the b-bestest of the best !” you gasp out, pushing blindly at his face to get him away from you and he finally let’s you go. “felt nice enough to let you off with a warning, won’t end well for ya if you try me again.” is what he says, playfully warning you and waving his finger around in your face. you’re completely out of breath, there are tears in your eyes again but they’re happy tears this time and you still can’t stop smiling and giggling as you try to bite at his finger and katsuki is more than happy with this.
because katsuki’s favorite thing is your smile.
#my boyfriend#HUESGH my boyfriend i love him#if you think hes ooc you dont know him like i do soz🫶🏾#want him to comfort me#he’s the best bf ever#i would know we’ve been dating for 6 years now#this is kinda sloppy n messy but its okay i like it anyways#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#i love my boyfriend#my boyfriend my one and only my beau my one my all#Might write a reverse comfort fic i like making him a whine snivelling miserable little man#You’ve been warned angsty bitches its ur turn now#i add waayy to many tags huh😭😭#bakugo x reader#bakugou fluff#bakugou drabble#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x oc
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No offense to Mithrun but he really was dumber than a 14 year old. Thistle had that shit locked down for ONE THOUSAND YEARS. Sure he wasn't having a great time for most of it but in terms of duration that Minecraft kid was the most successful Dungeon Lord in history. Mithrun's fake little tea party collapsed and got him eaten within 5 years. The hubris of snake pussy. Meanwhile the Winged Lion had to orchestrate Delgal's escape to the surface and a whole fake hero prophecy just to get out from under Thistle's littlest jester boot.
#not putting this one in the tags it just makes me laugh#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#since I'm bringing up Thistle and he's been teased in the anime now#also if you're a Mithrun stan seeing this and you're mad I called him dumb don't worry it's a joke#that's just what having a massive superiority/inferiority complex combo will do to you#the snake pussy part is also a joke. he might not have fucked her. who's to say.#musings with Dea
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(draconifies your zelink) oh whoops lol
+ an extra pic of em hanging out together :]
btw, you can find these guys on inprnt! both as a pair, or apart :] You Choose.
#(the weakest pitiful coughs youve ever heard) yay#modelled off those ancient scythian deer tattoos..... i like how theyre posed and thought itd be fun. also feat slight ld redesign#makes em look like how they'd might appear on a mural together. ish. LOL i get too impatient to try stylising that much#light dragon#loz#totk#dragon link#totk spoilers#link#zelda#princess zelda#totk au#loz au#tloz#artists on tumblr#sighs. is this enough tags. i hope so#this is very much for Me though bcus i have too many thoughts abt botw/totk dragons. its silly#i was glad to draw my boy again though. i have more ideas for him that ill get around to in like. uhhh. Who Knows.#my art#zelink#you know what. ill add it here too in like the loosest most tragic sense possible#what if we were trapped in mindless eternity forever....... together <3#dragon link au
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councilor 3D model
i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
[link]
please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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birds of the same feather?
#obey me!#obey me lucifer#obey me luke#perhaps i'm putting a lot of thought onto luke but i was thinking about how conflicting luke must have felt knowing the image portrayed of#lucifer based on the celestial realm to the actual lucifer he meets#i do think it's interesting how softer he is in nightbringer so while he might seem imposing it's just not on the same lvl to what he expec#'he is your kindred but you are suppose to hate him for what he became since it's in your nature' type of deal#anyways weirdest uncle award goes to lucifer#← the only thought running in his head atm is that luke reminds him of his brothers but he doesn't want to admit it (too personal)#anyways this won't make sense w/o these tags so sorry lmao#doodles
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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