#i have 1 (one) pair of jeans too so this was STUPID and i should have CHECKED TWICE

[bismuthburnsblue]

is there any greater pain than cutting out two of the same piece on a fabric with a distinct right and wrong side when you should have cut a pair?

[love-that-we-were-in]

betting on all three for us two

pairing: frat!luke castellan x reader summary: you think you like being a little more friendly and a little less competition with luke castellan this year. a sequel to this fic word count: 3.1k warnings: none

author's note: frat luke my dearly beloved loser son who studies pre-med this is for you you know who you are i love you

1. 

The fall semester comes at you faster than you’d like, this rapid change from a golden summer to the crisp air of being back on campus. You’re rooming with someone from an old anthropology elective you took, Silena finally moving into her sorority house. It should feel weirder, how everything has changed since spring break. 

You take the opportunity to build new habits. Early runs, no caffeine after 2pm. Little things that make the day go a tiny bit faster, building blocks to fit around your class schedule. Silena schedules weekly lunches for the three of you and there’s this gravity to it all that you want to study. 

It had been nice to be home for a few months. Your mom had missed having you there, being able to show you the new flowers she planted, how the lemon tree in the yard is twisting weirdly. Board games and family dinners and friends who never left your town. Being back home was resetting. Being back on campus was restarting.

Lee catches you as you leave the gym, offering to walk you to class if you’re heading in that direction. You smile, telling him that you have a late start and pretend he doesn’t frown when your phone buzzes. He mentions that he’s thinking of starting a study group for one of your classes and you tell him you’ll think about joining. 

While he heads towards the main building, you make your way to the campus coffee shop - caught behind the early risers desperate for something to get them through their first lecture of the day. 

“Can I get a flat white and an iced americano with caramel to go please?” You smile at the girl working the counter, stepping aside to glance at your watch.

You run through your schedule for today, ignoring the text that comes through. You know exactly what it says, the same thing every morning, and you don’t even bother to roll your eyes at this point. 

“I can’t believe you ignored my text,” Luke says when you reach the courtyard between the library and the medical building. “Not even a flame emoji.”

You stop in front of him, drinking in the jeans and sweater combination he’s settled on today. It’s a really nice sweater, dark blue and a little baggy. You wonder how quickly he’d notice it going missing. Probably not as quickly as he’d notice the stupid hat he’s wearing go missing. His backpack leans against the bench, pristine.

“No one uses those except you,” you shake your head, handing him the iced drink. “What time does your lecture start?” 

Luke tells you as if he really needs to. It’s this thing you’ve started doing since the semester began, acting like you don’t know his schedule as well as your own. As if the both of you haven’t fallen into this routine in just a few weeks. Like it’s not a highlight of your day. 

Clarisse thinks it’s adorable. Chris thinks it’s hilarious. You think it’s nice to have someone to share your free time with, beyond whatever else you and Luke have. It had been a fear of yours, when Silena mentioned not sharing a dorm with you, that you would fall to the sidelines. That life would come with these new priorities for everyone and you would only be fourth or fifth on their lists, too cemented in the day-to-day that you’d be forgotten.

Morning coffee with Luke stops that fear. 

“Did Silena tell you about the party on Friday?” 

“I have a study group in the afternoon,” Luke says, swirling his plastic cup around so the ice clinks together. “If I do go, I’m showing up late.” 

“Maybe I’ll keep my eye out for you there, Castellan.” 

He laughs and it’s like summer again. There’s something insane about hearing Luke laugh like this, unbroken and loud, nothing like it had been over the phone while you were back home. 

“You’ve got dinner with Silena and Clarisse tonight, right?” He asks, swinging his bag over one shoulder. You throw your empty cup into the trash can as you both start walking. “Is there any point in asking if you want to come round after?”

You knock his arm with your shoulder, laughing, and, instead of feigning hurt like usual, Luke just takes your hand in his, the skin a little colder than you expect. Gazing down at your linked hands, you bite your lip before sighing. 

“If I’m home before eleven, I’ll consider it.” 

Last year, when you first met him, you thought Luke only got that determined glint in his eyes when he was competing. That it was a sign of an unanticipated thrill. Since then, you’ve learnt that it’s not that at all. It’s this thing that ignites within him, determined and passionate and a little boyish. 

You think it might be one of your favorite things about him.

“I will take that deal.”

2. 

You wish you could say you were a little drunk. At least that way you would have something to blame. As it stands, you’re stone cold sober, maybe a little tired from class but nothing that can really be blamed for the lack of weight your actions seem to have right now. 

The only thing you can blame, and you will, is the boy next to you, completely engrossed in the movie playing. They’d been watching it when you arrived, all settled on the couches and you assume this is something they do regularly, and at any other time you might’ve called it cute. 

Not tonight. Not when you walked in to the discovery that Luke wears glasses and you didn’t know about it. It was something you played off, making a joke and settling into the cushions beside him. In the time since, Chris has left for his date with Clarisse and Charlie has pulled out some work to go through in the corner of the room. 

“What’s up?” Luke asks when he realizes you’ve hardly moved in ten minutes, barely even breathing. And it’s the worst possible thing he could do, glance down through the frames with that small smile you’ve gotten used to and curls loose. 

“Nothing’s up,” you let your eyes trail back to the screen. “This is a very cute tradition you guys have going on.” 

Charlie lets out a little laugh from across the room. You feel the way Luke exhales against the side of your face. You think you’re able to go back to pretending everything is normal, make a joke and enjoy the rest of the movie. The second you feel Luke’s fingertips on the skin of your knee, gentle and warm, you know you can’t. 

“You’re swerving,” he whispers, throwing a quick glance at Charlie to see if he can hear but the other boy is engrossed in his work. “Talk to me.” 

“It’s nothing,” you bite the inside of your cheek when he nods encouragingly, incredibly aware of the patterns he’s tracing on your skin. “I just think it’s interesting that you’d choose to wear a hat all the time when the glasses are right there.” 

“What?”

His hand stills and you wait. You wait and you stare at the shape of his jaw and you chuckle when it finally clicks, his adam’s apple shifting as he swallows the conclusion down. “Are you saying you like my glasses?” 

You don’t like how uneven this all feels. Whenever you’ve been with Luke so far, there’s been this mutual balance that you’ve grown used to. Even before now, back when you were locked in silly competitions, you did it on even footing, the expectation that everything meant nothing and you wouldn’t be affected. 

This, the way Luke grins around the realization, hand moving to rest on your thigh, is different. It’s heavier. It’s a loss after a winning streak and you’re kind of obsessed with the way it could drag you down. 

“I just think that hat is stupid.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Luke nods and you know, even if he doesn’t do it outright, he’s laughing. He’s categorizing the information you’ve just given him, placing it where it belongs in his mind, and it’s going to bite you in the ass. “Tell me more.” 

“Luke,” you mutter, gritting your teeth. His fingertips brush against the hem of your shorts and, when you glare at him for it, he just shrugs. You throw a glance over in Charlie’s direction. Still nothing. “Are you insane?” 

He tilts his head like he’s considering the question carefully. If Charlie were to look over, you know he’d assume you were locked in a debate about something silly - a staple of you and Luke - and it wouldn’t matter. He wouldn’t know for a second that you were holding onto Luke’s wrist, his hand itching to move just a little to the left. 

You sigh and the boy beside you raises an eyebrow. You both know that you’ve lost this round. 

When you press your lips to his bicep as the film credits roll, warm even through the fabric of his shirt, you mumble, “I really like your glasses.” 

3.

You aren’t used to watching things from a crowd. You’re used to focusing on yourself, on your team - not watching from a distance, surrounded by people who are there purely for enjoyment. There’s no winning from the stands. 

Luke doesn’t know you’re here. You’d sent him a text that morning wishing him luck, arranging to meet him when his debate was over. You hadn’t bothered to message him when your afternoon class got canceled, choosing instead to race across campus and find a seat in the dim auditorium they’re using. 

There isn’t the crackle of energy you get from swimming, or from watching Luke during track sessions. It’s less intense, for sure, a balance between the fire you know exists within him when he’s competing and the confidence he has in his own intelligence. You’ve argued with Luke, stupid things that neither of you care to take too seriously, and this is just the next stage of that. 

He’s got his glasses on, you note, when the debate gets underway. He’s wearing his lucky green polo, even if he’d never personally call it that, and he’s switched his smartwatch out for an analogue one. The cheap biro you’re used to seeing him use has been replaced by a fancy silver pen that he still taps against his thigh while thinking. He’s sitting straighter than usual, shoulders back. 

It’s almost like meeting him for the first time, focused and confident and sharp at the edges. 

You’re kind of obsessed with it. 

An hour and a winning handshake later, you make your way through the small crowd leaving to find Luke in conversation with one of his teammates. She smiles as you wrap an arm around his waist from behind, the slight tension still lingering in his bones melting away when he realizes it’s you. 

“What are you doing here?” He says, turning enough that he’s actually facing you now. The girl waves you both goodbye. “I thought you had class.” 

“Professor Chase had to cancel. His daughter got sent home from school with a fever.” 

Luke nods, pressing his lips to the top of your head quickly. “You didn’t have to come to my debate.” 

In the few months you’ve known Luke, you’ve learnt more about him than you expected to. You know from summer that Connecticut means looking after his sick mother, that he’s hoping to introduce some new charity events to ksig, that he used to go to a summer camp growing up. You know that his dad never showed up for anything and that he sits in the stands of all of your swim meets regardless of whether it cuts into his study time or not.

More than all of that, you know that the way he’s gazing at you now, a cross between awe and something deeper, is going to drive you crazy one day. You hope he can read the same expression on your face. 

“Thank you for coming,” he says when everyone is finally dismissed, an arm thrown across your shoulders as you make your way out of the building. You loop a finger around one of his, just because you want to. “It means a lot.”

“I told you I would,” and you had, months ago, staring at Luke’s bedroom ceiling, back when you were still caught in the casualness of it all. When Luke was just someone you pretended you weren’t trying to bump into at parties. You’d told him that you would show up for him if you ever got the chance. He’d rolled his eyes, throwing a blanket over you both and told you to go to sleep. He’d drifted off with his nose pressed against your neck. “I keep my word, Castellan.” 

“I know.”

In the evening light of campus, you think it might mean something more. Buried under the timing and the bitter wind until it’s a promise only you and Luke could translate. Asking him about where he wants to go for dinner, you like that no one else could understand the depth of it. 

+1.

Silena catches your attention as you enter the kitchen, grinning wildly and explaining her concept for tonight. Drew gave her permission to throw this week’s party, something themed and fun and it’s something she’s so proud of that you can’t help but grin back at her energy. 

“Even Charlie came,” she tells you excitedly, handing you a drink. “I feel like tonight is going to be it.” 

In all the years you’ve known her, she’s been counting down to it. You don’t exactly understand the fundamentals of what it is, if it’s a real thing or something she can just sense intrinsically. There have been moments where she’s thought of it before, mentioned it offhandedly before shaking her head - as if knowing she was wrong. 

“What even is it?” You ask and, for the first time, she breathes deeply instead of shrugging it off. 

“The beginning of the end,” she says and that doesn’t exactly explain anything. “Everything is about to change.” 

You still don’t really get it, but she’s as confident in this as she is about her clothes, so you nod like you understand. She sends you away not long after that, turning her attention to the new group that’s just walked through the doorway, mentioning that you need to be in the basement in about an hour and you just accept your fate, moving into the next room and falling into conversation with Rachel. 

*

Luke slips into the basement just as Silena starts yelling for everyone to do so, catching your eye across the room and waving. When you’re all instructed to sit down in a circle, you wonder exactly what Silena has planned for tonight. When she places a near empty bottle down in the center of you all, you laugh. 

“Are we actually playing spin the bottle?” Chris asks, prompting a murmured chorus of agreement from everyone else in the room. Silena frowns at him. 

“Wanna bet he ends up getting the most into it?” Luke whispers in your ear and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Loser has to buy the coffee tomorrow morning.” 

“You’re on,” you bump your fist to his to seal the deal. “I think he’s gonna get bored by round 3.” 

“Only boring people get bored of this game. It’s about drive.” 

“It’s about power?” Luke lets out a laugh and Silena turns her glare to you. “Sorry.”

She starts to explain the rules of the game, as if you’re all twelve again, and you bite your lip harder with every comment Luke makes under his breath. It’s a little mean, a little stupid, and you wish you were fifteen again, playing a proper game of spin the bottle for the first time.

Nothing much happens for the first few rounds, Chris starting to grumble the longer the game goes on. Luke clicks his tongue when you point it out, cursing his best friend like this was the worst thing that could’ve happened to him. 

Lee spins and it’s like cosmic interference when the bottle stops between you and Luke, the two of you glancing at each other and then back towards Lee. 

“Should I spin it again?” Lee asks when no one says anything. Silena shakes her head and says, “You can choose or we can vote if that makes you more comfortable.” 

“Please let us vote,” Chris shouts, animated and you narrow your eyes at him, ignoring the smug smile Luke gives you. “I’ll never ask you for anything ever again.” 

Lee glances between you both again, at where your knee rests against Luke’s thigh and the beer you’ve been sharing for the past twenty minutes sits between you. “It might be better to vote.” 

“Sure,” Silena smiles before silencing you all. “Everyone that wants Lee to kiss Luke, raise your hands.” 

You raise your hand and Luke mumbles beside you, flicking your leg and you poke him in return. Anything to avoid kissing Lee Fletcher after two years of avoiding it. 

“That is an overwhelming majority,” Silena says and you know, just by the way her eyes slide over to you, that she didn’t even bother to actually count. “Lee, you may now kiss Luke.” 

There’s this moment where you think Lee is going to just leave but instead he stares at the boy next to you, the relaxed set to his jaw, the annoying baseball cap on his head, how he’s so unbothered by it all. You watch as something clicks in his mind, you really want to know what it is. 

Whatever it was, it makes him grab the bottle again, ignoring Silena’s protests. It lands on the girl from Luke’s debate team and she straightens her back ever so slightly. 

“Silena,” Lee says as he leans towards the girl. “I’m not going to kiss Luke or his girlfriend.”

“Damn straight,” Luke mumbles, grabbing your hand from your lap and holding it in his instead. It’s stupid and it really doesn’t matter to either of you, you know that, but there’s this way he says it - almost like it’s the worst thing he could’ve imagined - and it settles in your gut with the beer you’ve been drinking. “Me or my girlfriend.”

“I’d really like to meet her,” you say, laughing when he huffs and pulls his hat down on your head. When you push the visor up to see him properly, all rosy cheeks and compacted curls, you think you might have found it. Whatever it is.

Based on the way Luke’s nose scrunches and his eyes crinkle, you think he understands that too. 

[madaqueue]

Practice Makes Perfect | Chapter 1

synopsis: you and yuji have been best friends basically as long as you can remember, and you made a promise to each other to stay friends and help each other be the best versions of yourselves for your future partners. but will things change when yuji finally starts looking for a relationship?

pairing: yuji itadori (18+) x f!reader

themes/content: modern college au (characters aged up to 18+). fluff, angst, language. kissing, mention of over-clothes grinding. 18+, MDNI

word count: 2.3k

a/n: baby's first multi-chapter fic, please be nice or i'll cry :) thx. also this will eventually get more intense, but we're starting light teehee

series masterlist | next chapter

You and Yuji Itadori have been friends your whole lives. You remember the day you first met on the playground in elementary school where you both insisted on racing each other to decide who got to use the tire swing first, and when you came in a dead tie you both refused to concede and ended up sitting on the swing together for the rest of recess. You stayed close as you grew up, often having sleepovers at each other's houses every weekend and spending almost every day together in and outside of school.

On one of these sleepovers while you were both sophomores in high school, you got around to discussing your first kisses and realized neither of you had had yours yet. You both agreed it wouldn't be weird to kiss each other and went for it; the only problem was that it was awful. From that day forward you both vowed to stay friends, but help each other practice all that romance stuff for whenever either of you wanted to actually date someone.

It was a miracle when you both ended up getting accepted to the same college, since one of you (*cough* Yuji) definitely slacked off a little more in high school, but you were so excited to get to spend the next four years with him.

The first semester of college went by quickly and you didn’t get to see each other too often since you came in as an engineering major and he was slowly working his way through business classes. Even though you hadn’t spent as much time together, you’d still get texts from him every few days with some stupid meal concoction he’d made in his dorm kitchen and you’d send each other TikToks that made you laugh. You let yourself fall into a rhythm between classes, homework, and exams, until one Wednesday evening you get an unexpected notification lighting up your phone:

Yuji: “heyy, come over? got a question to ask you”

The message sent butterflies through your stomach for some reason; you two hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks, and his text was much more direct than you expected. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you think of how to respond.

You: “okayy, be over in 5. should I bring anything?”

His response almost immediately appears under yours:

Yuji: “just yourself, sweets ;)”

The nickname caught you a bit off guard and you questioned what to say next before another text came up:

Yuji: “sorry, don’t know why I said that lmao. see you soon :)”

You sigh and lock your phone, setting it down on the bed beside you before standing up and sliding your shoes, tossing on a sweatshirt on top of your leggings and cropped t-shirt before heading out.

—

You stand outside his dorm, looking at the “Yuji” name sign made out of construction paper taped to his door. Below it was a mini whiteboard he had put up that had some less-than-tasteful drawings and the note “Itadori + Fushiguro” written on it surrounded by hearts. You rolled your eyes as you knocked, the door immediately swinging open as you were greeted by the pink-haired boy wearing his standard red hoodie and jeans combo, looking down on you with a huge grin on his face.

“Welcome, welcome!” he said with a smile, ushering you inside. You looked around and realized you had never actually been in his dorm before - whenever you hung out last semester it was always at cafes, the library, or a party, but never in either of your rooms. You look around and appreciate that he actually managed to make the small space kind of nice. You smirk at the dark blue bedding on his twin size mattress and pinup posters adorning his walls as the LEDs lining the room cast a blue glow across everything.

“You like it?” Yuji asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“It’s very…hmm…how do I say this…you,” you say with a smirk.

He giggles as he flops down on the bed. “Well, you did always know me well.”

You kick off your shoes and sit down onto the bed next to him. “So, what’d you have to ask me?” you question as you turn to face him.

“Right!” he exclaims, hopping off the bed to stand in front of you. “Remember when we were younger and we promised to help each other practice all the romance stuff so we’d be ready for when we get in a real relationship?” You nod as he continues. “Well, I think I might finally be ready to kick things off, and I sorta need your help with the whole practice thing.”

You freeze. This was the last thing on your mind when you came over. You hadn’t even seen Yuji in almost a month, and this is the first thing he says to you? How could he even remember that stupid deal you had made after your horrible first kiss with each other?

Your thoughts suddenly come to a halt as you realize what this might mean. “Wait,” you start, looking up at him from the bed, “does this mean you have a crush on someone?”

Yuji’s face turns red as he breaks eye contact and looks down at the ground, one arm reaching up behind his head to scratch his undercut. “Um, kinda, I think so,” he says as he grins sheepishly. “There’s a girl in one of my classes, and we’ve hung out a few times for this group project, and-“

“And you want my help making sure you know what you’re doing, right?” you cut him off. He looks back up at you, cheeks still red, and nods slightly. “Wait,” you think out loud, “does that mean you haven’t kissed anyone since then?”

His face flushes again and his eyes shoot back to the ground as he mumbles “No.”

You chuckle softly as you get up to meet him in the middle of the room, throwing your arms around his neck and tilting his chin so you’re making eye contact. You’re not sure where the sudden confidence comes from, but it just feels natural for you in that moment. In all honesty, you actually hadn’t kissed anyone since then either - you just hadn’t seen the need - but Yuji doesn’t need to know that. You gaze into his soft brown eyes as he nervously bites his lip, waiting for your response to his confession.

“Don’t worry Yu, that’s okay,” you whisper, your lips nearly grazing his, “we can practice together.”

Yuji nearly squeals with excitement, dissipating any tension or romance that was building between you two. “Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he exclaims as he wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up in the air and spinning you around. He sets you down but his hands don’t leave your hips as he looks down at you expectantly. “Okay, where do we start?” he practically beams down at you.

You pause to think for a moment before responding. “Well, we should probably figure out where you’re starting so we can work on what actually needs to be improved.”

“Works for me!” he says, picking you up again with ease as he walks towards his bed. Your legs wrap around his waist for stability as he sits down with his back against the headboard and you in his lap. The position also gave you butterflies for some reason, which was odd since the two of you used to sit like this all the time - you in Yuji’s lap during car rides when there wasn’t enough space, your head laying across his chest while you watched movies, or even his head resting on your stomach while you tried to braid his hair. But for some reason, this time felt different, maybe because you knew what was about to happen.

“Ready?” he asked with a smile. You nod, trying to mentally prepare yourself for what you expect is going to be a repeat of your last horrible kiss. “Okay, let’s do this,” Yuji says with a soft sigh, still smiling, and you try not to laugh at his lack of seriousness about the whole situation. But before you can react, his hand reaches up to your cheek and his eyes flutter closed as he leans towards you. You let your eyes shut as his soft lips press against yours. He holds himself there for a moment before beginning to gently suck on your bottom lip. The unexpected action causes you to open your mouth slightly in surprise, and he takes the opportunity to gently slide his tongue between your lips. Your tongues meet as he gently explores your mouth with his. His hand moves from your cheek to the back of your neck, holding you close to him. At the same time, one of your hands slides up from his hips to the back of his hair and you run your fingers over the softness of his freshly-trimmed undercut.

You start to feel yourself get lightheaded as the kiss gets sloppier and Yuji shows no sign of letting up. You begin to pull yourself away to catch your breath but just as you feel the air hit your lungs he uses the hand on your neck to gently push you back towards his slightly parted lips. It’s almost as if he couldn’t stand to spend a second separated from you and you willingly lean back in as he gets more eager, his tongue effortlessly slipping back into your mouth. The action elicits a soft moan from you, and you feel heat building between your legs. Your hips almost start grinding against the boy beneath you before you remember who it is - your best friend. You open your eyes suddenly and pull away from the kiss, Yuji loosening his hold on the back of your neck as a thin thread of your shared saliva temporarily connects your lips. You are met with those sweet, brown eyes, his cheeks flushed and lips pink from the intense kiss you suddenly pulled him away from.

As your brain clears, the first thing you’re able to say to him is “What the hell?”

“What, was it alright?” he hums back through a smile.

“That was m-more than alright, there’s no way that’s only your second time ever doing that!” you stutter, trying to get the words out.

He shrugs, “What can I say? Sometimes I’m just a natural.”

You start to sit up more and lean back off his lap, when there’s a sudden noise at the door. “Dude c’mon, hop on Discord, we’re gonna play some ranked matches.” The door handle turns as the sentence finishes, and in steps a man dressed in all black with his short black hair fanning out in every direction. He takes in the scene in front of him with you and Yuji sitting on the bed and he immediately covers his eyes with his hands. “S-shit, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t know you had someone over and I-“ he stutters as you watch his ears turn red from embarrassment.

“No need to apologize my dear friend!” Yuji proclaims as he hops off the bed, clearly no longer thinking about the intense moment you two just shared. He turns to you while gesturing towards the clearly distressed man in the doorway. “This is Fushiguro!” he yells, almost too loudly, with a smile plastered on his face.

Once the man in the door realizes that Yuji has no plans to provide any more information, he removes his hands from his eyes and politely waves at you from across the room. “Um, hi. Yeah, I’m Megumi Fushiguro, but you can just call me Megumi. I live across the hall from Yuji,” he explains, pointing over his shoulder at the door to his room.

You introduce yourself and give a little wave back. “Oh, wait a minute, you’re the Fushiguro that’s on Yuji’s sign on his door, right?” you say with a little laugh, remembering the whiteboard you saw on your way in.

“That's the one! Isn’t he charming?” Yuji sing-speaks as he practically skips towards Megumi. 

The boy in black seems less than impressed with the situation and rolls his eyes. “Yep, that’s me. Again though, you can call me Megumi. I don’t know why Yuji insists on calling me by my last name, I mean we’re basically the same age-”

“Because I just loooooove your name!” Yuji exclaims, now standing next to Megumi and batting his eyelashes dramatically at him. Megumi responds by holding a hand out to his side and gently shoving Yuji, who dramatically pretends to slide down against the wall with a pout.

“Anyways, I was gonna play some video games, but if you guys are busy we can do it another night,” Megumi explains.

“Nah don’t worry, I should probably head home anyways and make some dinner, I’ll leave you boys to it,” you say as you stand up to put your sweatshirt back on, trying to ignore the pulsing between your legs.

Still sitting on the ground, Yuji chimes in, “Aww, you don’t want me to make you dinner here?”

“I don’t think I want to eat the things you make if they’re anything like the meals you’ve been sending me over the past semester,” you preempt.

“Oh man, he’s shown you those too?” Megumi responds with a smirk as he reaches a hand out to help Yuji off the floor.

Yuji stands up proudly, stating “You guys just don’t understand my culinary genius.”

“I wouldn’t call a strawberry Poptart with cheese on it ‘culinary genius,’” you say with a chuckle as a pout returns to Yuji’s face. You put your shoes on and slide past the boys in the doorway. “Anyways, goodnight Yuji, and it was nice to meet you Megumi!” you wave back at them from the hallway.

—

When you get back to your dorm, you’re finally able to process the events that just took place. All you’re left with is more questions.

When did he learn how to kiss like that? How did he learn how to kiss like that? And why do you want more of it so badly?

series masterlist | next chapter

[bigassmoonchild]

Meetings

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: When did things ever go your way? First, you nearly lost Simon. And now? You were so close to losing your family because of one stupid fucking thing. You remembered why you kept your distance.

Content Tags: Fluff, Simon being nervous, Simon being Good With Kids, Bits of Intimacy, Violence, Attacks, Fights, Braxton Hicks, Slight Awkwardness, Crying, Comfort, Kind of Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha! Ghost, No Use of Y/N

A/N: I'm entirely unsure of when this series will be ended. It should be soon, unfortunately, but I would love to be able to write for more things (especially the Nine series, I've really been lacking on that). Either way, here she is! Little bit shorter, but it's okay (you'll love it).

Part 1 | Previous, Next | Headcannons, Masterlist

Simon was absolutely terrified. He wasn't entirely sure what to bring to meet your family, but you'd been antagonizing him about trying to bring a suit. 'Just be yourself,' you'd told him. And so he'd packed up a small amount of his wardrobe, some sweats and jeans, a few of his nicer shirts and pants, and a few hoodies and regular shirts.

He still wanted to bring a suit, or something similar, just in case they wanted to go out somewhere nice. He knew only what you told him about your family, about your parents. Truth be told, he wasn't sure what he'd do if your father did anything to your or his now almost-pack.

If he was truly scared, he would never tell you. The flight went alright, slight hiccups of turbulence here and there. "Let me drive us there, lovie," he whispered as you waited for your luggage. His hand was resting on the nape of your neck, rubbing against the mating gland softly.

You shook your head. "From what I've heard, you are a horrid driver. I also know how to get home, so I'll have the pleasure of driving us. Carefully," and he gave a short laugh.

Even under his balaclava, he felt rather exposed. Not knowing exactly where he was wasn't something he entirely enjoyed. He was unsure, on alert and rather nervous. He never came around this way, and it had been a long travel for the two of you. A layover or two, you'd ended up stealing his hoodie for comfort at one point (definitely not because you threw up and it got on your shirt).

That was something that helped him, though. Seeing you clearly claimed as his, scent marked and all. It was calming, made him focus on something as the two of you waded through the crowds in the airport and on your way out.

His hand rested on your leg the entire drive to the hotel, just so you could drop everything off and get fully ready for the day ahead of you. He watched, carefully, as you got dressed in a pretty little sundress and make yourself look 'nicer'.

On the ride there, you seemed antsy. Your fingers tapped quickly on the steering wheel, the foot not on the gas was tapping quickly. Your scent was mildly stressed, shifting from your normal, sweet scent to something spicier. His Alpha was bugging him, snarling some things about omega stressed and fix it.

For some time, he allowed his eyes to drift shut. You'd bugged him into wearing just a normal balaclava for this, after some discussions about whether or not he really needed to wear it in front of your family (the answer was yes, obviously).

And as the car slowed to a stop, rocking just slightly with the shift in gears to par, he opened his eyes and breathed deeply. It was a nice little house, not too big but just big enough for a family. No picket fence, he humored himself.

Opening his door, he stepped out and gave a little stretch before coming onto your side and helping you out. You pressed a little kiss against his cheek, letting him drape the jacket he was wearing around your shoulders. You gave him a little smile, and it warmed his heart just enough to shake most of the nerves away.

The front yard was filled with pups of all ages, a few of the older ones sitting on the stoop to watch them. You greeted each one, ruffling some hair and pulling them into side hugs. Simon followed quietly behind, waving a little to the older ones who gave him a strange look.

As you opened the door, a waft of slightly warm air came out. It smelled of apple pie, some stronger spices following closely. The inside looked warm, soft lights turned on in the inner most rooms, pictures hung on the walls of all different people.

Sliding his boots off, he watched as you greeted a few people looking around your age. "Simon, these are my siblings," and you smiled, eyebrows raising in a gesture to make him smile. He gave a short one, just enough for his eyes to squint. Pointing to each one, you gave him a name "Clint, Clair and Arthur," he gave a little wave.

Clair pulled you to the side, whispering quickly into your ear and glancing at Simon every few words. Clint and Arthur dragged him off to the living area, settling him down and tossing a beer into his hands.

"How d'you know her?" Clint gestured to you, walking into the kitchen with Clair and hearing a short squeal.

"Work," he answered easily. "You know what she does?" Clint shrugged and Arthur looked away.

"Just know she's doing some doctor shit," Arthur said, jaw clenching. "Didn't think it'd be military," his eyes found Simons and held the stare.

Simon looked down, not wanting to start a fight the first time he met your family. You'd kill him before any of them got to him. "She's safe," he told them. "Doesn't go on missions or anything, mostly works on the medical bay on base," he told them. Simon would never tell them exactly what happened that day, what felt like centuries ago.

He watched as the heli went down. He heard the shouts, watched as a figure struggled out of the debris and heaved a sigh of relief when your voice called over the coms.

You returned, not too much later, with what appeared to be your mother, sister and possibly father in tow. You sat between Arthur and Simon, looking over to him and giving him a soft smile.

"What is it you brought us all together for," your father huffed deeply. Your mother, in turn, smacked at his arm and threatened him to be nice. He scoffed and looked away, coughing deeply.

You glanced up at Simon one more time. "I wanted to introduce you all to Simon. We're," you paused and breathed deeply. Simons hand found your shoulder, squeezing softly.

"We're mated," he finished your sentence and everyone stared. Hard.

Clint was the first to shoot up, taking a step towards Simon before you jumped between them. Christ, if your brother tried to beat his ass you would kill him. Clint snarled at you, causing Simon to stand. He was tall, you suddenly realized. Much, much taller than Clint.

Your father finally spoke up. "Sit down, Clint," he snarled and the two men sat. "How'd this happen, girl?" You shook your head.

"Just happened," you whispered.

"And we weren't told anything? How long has this been for?"

"I don't know, maybe a year? I've been busy with work," you huffed. You could feel your heartrate rising, heart pounding in your ears before Simon chuffed against your back. You heaved a deep sigh, closing your eyes as his fingers found your wrist gland.

No one spoke for some time, you finally sat next to Simon once more.

"Well I'm happy for you," Clair spoke up. "He seems like a good, strong Alpha. As long as he makes you happy, I'm all good," and you smiled at her. Your mother, off to the side, was nodding with her. With everyone, mostly calmed, small talk began.

A few of your nieces and nephews had piled in after hearing the commotion, piled in the entryway. A few had gone up to Simon, smelling him and he allowed it. Quietly sitting there, letting the pups even climb on him to get a better scent.

"That's not all I wanted to tell you," you whispered, playing with your fingers while watching Simon carefully lower down the little one who'd climbed on him. Your father closed his eyes, leaning back. He breathed deeply, holding his breath for a few moments.

"You're pregnant," he said. "Can smell it, not too different from Arthur," and once again, Clint blew up. He leaped for Simon, snarling hard. Simon didn't move, grabbing the pup in front of him and moving the little one out of the way before Clint landed on him.

Simon didn't respond to the punches battering against him, and Arthur tugged you out of the way. He was the only other Omega, other than your mother. Your father stood, growling loudly before launching into a fit of coughs.

Clint paused, staring down at Simon. "Fucking monster, getting my sister all caught in your messy ass military shit," and you stood. Shoving Clint hard, baring your own teeth. Clint turned on you, eyes wild. He stood over you and snarled, hands moving to reach for you. Simon, at that, finally jumped.

His hands caught Clints, grasping tightly and snarling harshly at him. It quieted everyone, Clint tugging to get his hands out of Simons grasp. "Touch her and I'll break every damned bone in that hand," and Clint finally bared his neck. Submitting.

Clint had always been the big bad Alpha, taking after your father. He'd gotten into so many fights in school, you'd never even had any form of a partner. If he smelled an Alpha on you, even if it had been an accidental brush, they'd be beaten.

A cramp pulled you away from everything, your hand finding your now swelling belly as pains wracked it. A warbled groan fell from your mouth and you felt hands gently wrap around you. They lowered you onto the couch, and when you opened your eyes Simon was crouched just between your legs.

You could smell the fear in his scent, changed from the anger that had just been surrounding it. "'s nothing, Si, probably just some braxton hicks. I'll be okay," and he shook his head.

"Pain isn't normal, lovie," he whispered. "Especially not after some severe stress," he added carefully.

No one moved, just watching the two of you. You smiled carefully, pressing your hands against his cheeks. "I promise," you told him.

He nodded slowly, finally giving in. "He's a good Alpha," your mother spoke up. "I don't care if anyone else here doesn't agree," she added. Your father nodded with her statement, sitting back down and closing his eyes once more.

"Clint can leave," he said and said man scoffed. He grabbed his coat and left, slamming the door shut behind him. You looked to your father, eyes wide. "He protects you. Any good Alpha would do that, packmate or not. I am," he paused. "Accepting of this," he finally finished.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Simon kept something of his touching you the entire time, finally pulling the balaclava off of him to eat. He complimented your mothers cooking, who pushed some of it to Arthur. Simon complimented him, alongside the few pups he could recognize as his.

And as you bid your goodbyes, promising to come back tomorrow for some more talking and celebrating, you watched your father shake Simons hand. There were some whispered words between them, and when Simon came back he once more slid the jacket around your shoulders.

He opened the passenger door for you, closing it carefully and climbing into the drivers seat. The ride back was quiet, and you watched as the lights and houses passed by you. His hand rested on your thigh, your fingers wrapped around a few of his own. His thumb drummed on the steering wheel to the beat of the song, and your head rested against the window.

"That went better than I was expecting," he suddenly spoke up. You gave a wet laugh, tears suddenly brimming your eyes. His head turned to look at you quickly before going back to the road. You could feel the hot tears running down your cheeks, the car slowing to a stop as you opened your eyes.

He pulled the passenger door open, tugging you out and pulling you into his arms. Your nose pressed into his chest, sobs finally spilling out of your chest.

"I just wanted them to love you like I do," you sobbed and he hummed against you, rocking the two of you slightly. Simon pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, chuffing gently against you.

"They just need to warm up to it," he whispered. "Once they actually know me, I'm sure they'll begin to accept it more. At least your father accepted me," he added. You nodded against his chest, propping your chin against it and looking up at him. His balaclava was still off, and he gave you a little smile of his own.

His fingers wiped away your tears, allowing you to press back against his chest and breathe deeply. Your tears had stopped, but you still felt so hurt. Your own flesh and blood, and they didn't like him. Clint was supposed to be your older brother, the Alpha who protected you. Not hurt the people you loved.

Your hurt turned to anger, pulling away from Simon. "If that motherfucker touches you again, I swear to god," and he shook his head. In the dark, you couldn't see much of his face. You hoped to god that Clint hadn't left any marks, you weren't sure what you'd do if you found out he had.

"Weren't the best punches I've ever had," he told you. "I've had worse, lovie. I promise you that nothings hurt," and you nodded carefully. His hands cupped your cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss against your lips.

When he pulled back, you whined and he gave a chuckle. "I'll give you more when we get back to the hotel," he told you. You nodded, letting him slide your arms through his jacket and zip it up.

"I love you," you whispered as he opened the passenger door. He pressed another kiss against your lips, squeezing your hand.

"And I love you," he responded. Closing the door, he went around the car and got back in. You watched as the lights flashed across his face, allowing yourself to soak in how he looked.

When you got to the hotel, he opened your door for you and offered a hand. Holding it tightly, he led you to the room. When he slid the key against the door, he opened it for you and led you in by the small of your back.

Kicking the door shut, he pulled you in and kissed you once more. "Bravest little Omega I've ever met," he whispered against your lips and you laughed. "Going to protect me from all the Alphas?" And you nodded, tears of laughter brimming your eyes.

With one more kiss to your lips, he tugged you against his chest. Gently rocking you once more, your arms wrapped around him as much as they could.

"Love you so damn much, Doc," he whispered against your hair.

"'n I love you, Si,"

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[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 19: Purpose

You and Ellie wait for Joel to come back from patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-18 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Light smut. Minor depiction of injury. Mild description of canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 9.6k 

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

May, 2012 

“You’ve been acting weird this trip.” 

It was a nice night, the air warm but not so warm that it made a fire unpleasant. The sky was clear and it was like every star that had ever sprung into existence was overhead, sparkling for you and you alone. 

Mark had brought an unreasonably good haul with him this trip. Enough batteries that you’d be supplied for years at the rate you used flashlights, several packs of guitar strings, salt, sugar, several bottles of rum and vodka, thread and scrap fabric. His packs were laden with hard to find goods and you weren’t sure if you bought his excuse that the settlement he’d been living with had stumbled upon a really good stash and he felt like he should share the wealth. It seemed like there was something else going on.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he shrugged. “Actin’ how I usually do.” 

“Sure,” you scoffed, sipping on some rum that you’d mixed with the pressed apple juice you’d made earlier that day. “Because you always go back and forth between fuckin’ me stupid and staring off into the distance.” 

You had to admit, there were some perks to being some of the last people on the planet. Things like not needing to worry about being disturbed if you wanted to fuck outside by a bonfire on a gorgeous night. You were wearing nothing but a button down and panties, sitting on a blanket, the skin between your thighs slick with your combined release. Mark had pulled his jeans back on but hadn’t bothered buttoning or zipping them, his boots still sitting off to the side. You had a feeling he’d be naked again before too long, apparently going for a new record for how many times he could fuck you in the span of a week. 

“Seriously though,” you frowned a little, watching him closely, his brown eyes sparkling in the firelight. “Are you OK?” 

“Just���” he sighed heavily, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees. “Going to miss you, is all.” 

“I’ll miss you, too,” you shrugged. “But there’s going to be some good shit to trade in about a month or so, think I’m going to get a really good round of greens this season…” 

“Can’t come back in a month,” he said, not looking at you, looking into the fire instead. You frowned. “I’m not sure when I can come back.” 

“What?” You frowned. “What do you mean? Why not? I don’t…” 

“Shit’s changing,” he said. “At the settlement. A lot of big changes. Don’t think I’m going to be able to get away for very long and…” 

“I can come to you,” you cut him off, heart clenching at the thought of losing the only regular human contact you had now. The thought of losing Mark. “I know you always come here but…” 

“Won’t work,” he shook his head. “Not with… there’s going to be too much going on, wouldn’t be the right time. And come on, you really going to act like you’re going to leave your animals to fend for themselves or leave your gardens unattended when you’ll need to be out harvesting damn near daily to stock up for winter? We both know better than that.” 

“How long do you think…” 

“Six months at least,” he cut you off. “Maybe a year.” 

“A year?” You gaped at him. “You can’t be serious, you’re really going to…” 

“I’m serious,” he finally looked at you, a pained look on his face. “Trust me, it’s not… This isn’t something that I want, OK? This is something that I have to do. It’s the right thing to do, the only right thing to do. But I’ll come back to you when I can. As soon as I can, I’ll come back.” 

You looked into the fire now, trying not to cry. These few weeks a year with him were sometimes the only thing that kept you sane. The only thing that kept the fragile link you had to your humanity intact. And he was leaving you. 

“Yeah, well,” you almost spat it. “Maybe I’ll just pick up and fuckin’ move in the mean time. Been getting bored out here anyway…” 

“If that’s really what you want,” you could feel his eyes on you. “But… I really hope you don’t. I would… I think losing you might kill me. Not knowing what happened to you? Not knowing if you were safe and happy? That would kill me. I love…” 

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” you snapped, whipping your head around to look at him. “You wouldn’t just walk away for a fuckin’ year if you gave a fuck. Don’t act like I’m anything more to you than…” 

“You don’t get to decide what you are to me,” he snapped back, voice heated, his hand finding your face, fingers gripping your skin so tight it almost hurt. “Just trust me when I tell you there ain’t much that would keep me away from you, alright? This isn’t what I fuckin’ want. But it’s what I have to do so I’m doing it. And I’m asking that you still be here when I’m able to come back to you because all I want to do is fucking come back to you! So please, let me!” 

His lips crashed into yours before you could respond and you kissed him back, wet and angry, all teeth and tears as he ripped your panties down and all but shoved himself inside you, not bothering to take off his jeans this time. He fucked into you hard and fast and desperate, like if he used enough force he’d somehow make you believe him, make sure you stayed. 

After, you lay side by side, facing each other just inches apart, his fingers trailing gently through your hair.

“What am I supposed to do without you?” You asked, voice thick.

“I’ll send people who pass through your way,” he said. “You should have enough of what you can’t hunt or grow yourself for a while but you trade plenty outside of me, anyway, and I’ll make sure I send enough to make up the difference…” 

“You know that’s not what I mean,” you cut him off. 

He smiled. 

“I’ll make sure they’re your type.” 

You rolled your eyes and shoved him lightly. He laughed a little and the two of you just looked at each other. You knew that, if he was telling you this now, after he’d already been here a few days, he was planning to go back soon. Maybe even the next day. Your heart ached - physically hurt - at the thought of him leaving, of losing him for so long. 

“This isn’t what I want,” he said softly, as though he were reading your mind. 

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I have to,” he said, his hand stilling, holding your face gently, as though you were something precious. “But I will come back to you. I promise. I’ll always keep coming back to you.” 

When you watched him ride away the next day, it was the last time you ever saw him. 

August, 2026

You’d never really been in this situation before. 

In all the years since the outbreak started, you’d never been the one stuck waiting for someone to come back from outside. You never knew for sure when Mark was coming back so you were never anxiously waiting for him to show up. The rest of the time, when someone was with you, you’d always been the one to go. You’d been the one who knew the area, been the one who was best equipped. At most, you’d go out together and be there when an infected attacked or some power hungry asshole took a shot at you. Hell, even a bear. It was the wilds of Wyoming, after all, it wasn’t only monsters of the human and inhuman kind you had to be concerned with, mother nature did her best to come out on top, too.  

But Joel being gone like this made you nervous. 

You weren’t sure if it was just because you weren’t used to him being gone, if you were just more comfortable having him close than anywhere else now, if there really was something wrong and you felt it somehow - even though that made no sense. 

Regardless of the reason, you were worried. It was hard to focus on anything. You couldn’t work with the horses that weren’t fully broke yet, they sensed it too easily and started trying to throw you. You found yourself just clenching your teeth a lot without truly realizing you were doing it, just suddenly aware that your jaw was sore before forcing yourself to relax. 

The second night Joel was gone, you were playing guitar at home and trying not to think about it. The closest thing you had to compare it to was the first few days Marisa was gone. When part of you thought she was going to change her mind and walk back in the door one evening as you sat by the firelight and grab you and kiss you and say she was back and she was going to stay. 

That never happened. 

But Joel was going to come back. That was the plan, that was always the plan and Jackson hadn’t lost someone on patrol in a while and you had no reason to be this nervous and distracted. Joel was going to walk into the stables and grab you and kiss you. And it was all going to be OK. 

There was a sharp little knock at your door, the knock Ellie made when she was second guessing that she should be there. You’d come to know it as the knock she made when she wanted to talk about something but was too afraid to really do it. You set the guitar down on the couch and jogged to the door, Ellie already knocking again, a little relieved that you’d have the excuse to not be sitting there alone. 

“About time,” Ellie rolled her eyes, pushing past you into the house. 

“Nice to see you too, Kid,” you smiled a little, closing and locking your door before trailing after her, drawing Joel’s shirt tighter to yourself as you did. “What’s on the brain? Dina troubles?” 

“You know, not everything is about a girl,” she flopped heavily on your loveseat, one leg dangling over the arm rest, the other planted on the floor. “There’s more to life than sex. Not that you would know. Gross.” 

You snorted. 

“So what’s going on?” You asked, grabbing your guitar and flopping on the couch. You gave it a strum. “Trying to figure out the meaning of life or something? You’ve got that look.” 

“Do not,” she rolled her eyes in the way that only teenaged girls were somehow so skilled at. 

“Do so,” you played a few more quick random chords. “C’mon. Share. Know you want to.” 

You kept strumming quietly, watching her tap her foot impatiently. You kept your mouth shut. If you waited her out, she’d talk. Ellie was a special kid but she was still a teenaged girl. She’d spill it eventually. 

You were right. 

She’d only been there, silent while you played really nothing at all, for a few minutes when she huffed and sat up in a flurry of messy hair and overly long shirt sleeves. 

You looked at her, brows raised. 

“I’m worried, OK?” She looked at you, her brown eyes big. They were wide and soft and open and, even though you knew she wasn’t related to Joel, her eyes reminded you so much of him in that moment. How he looked at you when you played guitar and he was close, how he looked when he told you things about himself that you weren’t sure anyone else knew. They were both usually so guarded, so terrified of being vulnerable, but they got the same look in their eyes when they let themselves be open. 

You stopped playing. 

“About what?” 

She gnawed on her lower lip for a second. 

“I’ve been thinking about what we talked about,” she said. “What you told me about what parents do for their kids… I never had parents. Like… ever. It’s not like I had some when I was little and they fucking died or something I just never had them. No one ever… I don’t know, loved me and shit. I never had it so I never really thought about what that would be like. But Joel… he loves me. Right?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled a little sadly at her. You wished you could go back in time and find the little girl who was Ellie all alone and love her then, love her the way she deserved to be. “He does. More than anything.” 

She nodded slowly, like she was processing it. 

“I guess I never understood what that would mean,” she said. “That it would mean someone would choose me over… well, over anything at all I guess but over the entire fucking world? It doesn’t feel right.” 

You shrugged. 

“Love is crazy like that,” you said. “Especially the kind Joel has for you.” 

She nodded again. 

“I still don’t know if I can forgive him,” she said slowly. “But I can try to understand him. I think I can understand him and see why he thought it was the right thing…” 

Her voice trailed off and she bounced her leg and picked at the seam of your couch cushion before she looked at you, her eyebrows drawn tightly together. 

“But what if I never get a chance to tell him that?” Her voice cracked a little and she swallowed hard. “What if something happens and the last thing I said to him… I was so fucking mean to him before he left, Bambi, I was so fucking mean and I…” 

“Hey,” you said gently, setting your guitar down and going to sit beside her. “It’s OK, Honey. It’s OK. Joel loves you, he would never hold it against you and, deep down, he knows you love him, too. But it’s all a moot point, he’s coming back and he’ll be fine. You’ll get a chance to talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling and it’ll be OK.” 

She nodded and pressed herself against you, her face against your shoulder. You tucked her below your chin and held her close. Ellie was such a force of a person, always so brash and strong, but she felt so small and fragile in your arms then, every inch the child she tried to pretend she wasn’t. 

“You had parents, right?” She sniffed, inching closer to you on the couch. You adjusted around her, her legs draped over yours. 

“I did,” you smiled a little into her hair. 

“Did you guys get along?” 

You laughed a little. 

“Not really,” you said. “I was a lot more like my dad than my mom but my dad was closer to my brothers. He was fine with me ranching as a hobby but didn’t want me to be a rancher, didn’t like me working with the horses as much as I did. My mom wanted me to be more like her and I just wasn’t. It caused a lot of friction. But…” You sighed and gave her a little squeeze. “We loved each other. Even when I was mad at them I knew they loved me and I loved them. That’s the point. It’s not always easy and that’s OK.” 

She just nodded into you. 

“Don’t know why I’m so worried,” she fidgeted with her hands but stayed pressed against you. “Not like he’s never left Jackson before. Fuck knows we faced worse shit than whatever he’s going to run into out there. I’ve just got this feeling…” 

You didn’t tell her that you did, too. You didn’t want to freak her out. You didn’t want to think about what it might mean that both of you felt off about it. 

“Want to stay over again?” You asked, hoping she’d say yes. You weren’t sure you wanted to be by yourself at that moment, either. “We can dance party.” 

“Yeah,” she laughed a little. “That’d be good.” 

You let Ellie pick the music before you raided the more modest VHS collection and put on Fargo. She passed out curled up next to you on the couch and you just watched her for a moment, her legs tucked up against her stomach, arms crossed over her chest. You understood why Joel would kill to protect her, why he’d choose her over the possibility of a cure. She wasn’t your daughter but it felt like she could be. You’d protect her like your daughter. She needed that, deserved that. 

You got up slowly from the couch so as to not disturb her and got a blanket from your hiding place bed, draping it over her. You curled up on the loveseat and fell asleep there, keeping her close, keeping her where you could keep her safe until Joel came home. 

Ellie was reluctant to go to school the next day and she showed up at the stable just a few minutes after classes ended for the day. 

“Here to draw Shimmer?” You asked, brows raised. 

“Duh,” she rolled her eyes. “Why else would I be here?” 

You smiled a little as you got the horse out of her stall and put her out in the paddock, Ellie perching on the fence with her sketch pad and pencil. You checked on her periodically, just glancing out to where she sat, catching her watching the entrance to the stables more than once. Waiting for Joel to come back. 

It wasn’t like you could blame her. You were watching for him, too. Especially once other patrol pairs started coming back. Julie and Thomas came back first, just before dinner. They said they hadn’t run into any trouble, not even any infected, so they weren’t surprised they were the first ones back. You busied yourself getting their horses settled as they headed to their respective homes to get cleaned up after spending three days on the road. It was only another hour before the next pair, Will and Beth, came back.There had been some trees down on their usual path, the aftermath of an early summer storm, they suspected, and it took time to figure out the best way through. 

“Want to go pick us up some dinner?” You asked Ellie as twilight was on the horizon, which meant it had to be nearing 8 p.m. Joel still wasn’t back. “I’ll hold down the fort?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Yeah, OK.” 

You watched her set out to the mess hall and, when she was out of sight, got in Renaissance’s stall. She gave you a questioning look, her ears turning on her head, her body still sweaty where she’d born a saddle and rider for three straight days. 

“Hey sweet girl,” you said gently, reaching out to scratch her chin. She pressed into your touch and you stepped closer to her, resting your forehead against her thick, warm neck and breathing deep, centering yourself. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I really don’t.” 

She huffed. 

“I know,” you said, giving her another scratch. There had always been something about horses that calmed you, something you were grateful you could rely on now. “I don’t know how to do this. How to be in a relationship like this. I’ve never done this. Maybe this is just what it’s like? But… He can’t end up like everyone else. He just can’t.” 

She nudged you gently with her large head and you stepped back from her. She lowered her head and pressed it against your chest, chuffing as she did. You scratched her neck. 

“I know,” you sighed. “I know.” 

Casey and Monica came back while Ellie was gone, the second to last group. Only Joel and Tommy were left outside. You tried not to think about that. Monica’s arm was bleeding and she was limping. 

“What happened?” You frowned as you took their horses from them. 

“Ran into fucking raiders on day two,” Casey said, taking her pack from the saddle of her horse. “Just a small crew, we caught them off guard so we handled them pretty easy but held us up a bit coming back. Mon sprained her ankle, couldn’t keep her foot in the stirrup too long, had to take a lot of breaks. We’re the last ones, right?” 

“No,” you said, chest tight. “No, Joel and Tommy are still out there.” 

Monica’s eyes went wide. 

“Joel and Tommy are still out?” She asked, incredulous. You nodded. “Shit. They’re usually the first back, handle their shit quick…” 

Your stomach turned. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Casey said, noticing the look on your face. “They went the same path as that summer storm, they’re probably just running into damage, making it hard to get through… It’s Joel and Tommy. I’m sure they’re fine.” 

“Right,” you said, giving her a tight smile. “You’re right.” 

Monica leaned on Casey and you watched the two of them head toward the clinic just as Ellie came back, frowning as she watched them go. 

“The fuck happened to them?” She asked, handing you a sandwich wrapped in paper and an apple. 

“Raiders,” you said, going to the spot you liked to plop down at when you were taking a break while working. Ellie trailed behind you. 

“Shit,” she said, her brows drawn tightly together. “You don’t think…” 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” you said, taking a bite of your sandwich. It tasted like sand in your mouth, making your stomach churn. “We don’t have any reason to worry. It’s fine.” 

You brushed down every horse in the stable, asked Ellie to tell you every pun she could remember, reorganized the tack even though you ended up not really changing anything because you ran a pretty tight ship to begin with. 

It was nearing midnight when Maria came to the stable, William looking groggy and half asleep on her hip. 

“Thought I might find you here,” she said. 

You shrugged. 

“Like it here.” 

She nodded slowly, looking between you and Ellie. 

“Alex at the gate is going to come get me as soon as they sight them,” she said, her grip on her son tightening a little as she said it. “Want to come wait at mine? It’s more comfortable than here.” 

The gate giving you a heads up would be faster than waiting at the stables. They’d see them coming. 

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly. “Yeah, let me run home and grab and change of clothes if it’s OK that I use your shower, I smell like horse…” 

“Course,” she smiled. “You too, Ellie?” 

“Yeah,” she jumped down from the stall door she’d been perched on. “Yeah, I’ll come. I don’t… Sounds shitty to just be by myself.” 

You literally ran to your house, grabbing a shirt that smelled like Joel and the coat, too, for good measure, as well as some clean jeans and some sweat pants before you ran to Maria’s.

You’d never been inside Maria’s house before but, in that moment, you didn’t care. The need to know that Joel was OK was stronger than your fear of being in a space you didn’t control. 

You took the fastest shower you ever remembered taking and settled in the living room next to Ellie, who immediately leaned against you, pressing her nose into Joel’s shirt. Maria sat, watching the front door, her foot bouncing impatiently off the rug in front of her. 

“Has this happened with them before?” You asked quietly after a minute. 

“No,” Maria shook her head. “But we haven’t lost anyone on patrol in a very long time. I’m sure they’re fine. They’re fine.” 

She nodded to herself and Ellie curled her legs into her chest. 

“Hey Kid,” you said after a minute. “Best guitar part. What is it?” 

Ellie sat up from you a little, frowning. 

“Is now really the time to talk about that?” She asked. 

You glanced at Maria, who figured out pretty quickly what you were doing. 

“I think so,” she said. “Curious to know your thoughts since Tommy’s taste is… questionable.” 

You snorted. 

“He asked me to play Freebird once,” you said. “So cliche.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes and thought for a second. 

“Maybe Crazy on You by Heart,” she said eventually. 

“Good choice,” you nodded. “Knew you’d pick up some good taste through proper education…” 

“OK my taste has always been good,” she said, sitting tucked into the corner of the couch now, her legs crossed in front of her instead of curled protectively in on herself. “You don’t get that much credit!” 

“Sure, sure,” you waved her off. 

“I just had limited access before,” she said. “Not my fault I was stuck with the music I could find in a fucking QZ man!” 

You huffed a laugh. 

“Seems like you had more options than I did…” 

“Yeah but you had horses and freedom and shit,” she said. “Fair trade.” 

You laughed at that. 

“Maybe so,” you said. 

“Got another question for you,” Maria said, not giving Ellie a chance to respond. “What’s the best pun? Seems like you’re the expert so…” 

“That is so subjective though!” Ellie replied, her eyes getting wide. “You can’t ask me to pick just one…” 

You and Maria took turns trying to distract her until she started falling asleep sitting up. Ellie eventually slumped over, her head going in your lap. You trailed your fingers through her hair and you felt her doze off, her breathing going into the steady, gentle rhythm of sleep. 

Maria watched you, her arms crossed over her chest, her jaw clenched. 

“You OK?” You asked quietly. 

“No,” she said, voice so soft you had a hard time hearing her. “And I won’t be until he’s back.” 

You laughed once, quietly, darkly. 

“Stupid question, I guess.” 

She laughed the same way back. 

“It feels like I got cocky,” she sighed. “Like I was feeling too comfortable here, like I forgot how bad the world has become. Life here was too good for too long. Too much like what it was like before. Guess the apocalypse decided it needed to remind me of who was in charge.” 

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I know it’s not the same, Joel isn’t to me what Tommy is to you but… I feel about the same. Like I was getting to close to living with people again and something had to remind me that there’s risk with that.” 

“The world fucking sucks sometimes,” Maria said. 

You smiled tightly. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, it does.” 

You weren’t sure what time it was when you ended up dozing off, too, your head lulled over on the couch cushion, hand still on Ellie’s hair. That’s where you were when there was a loud knock on the door, jerking you out of your shallow sleep. 

“Wha?” Ellie sat up, groggy, as Maria fumbled for the door, almost tripping over her own feet to get there. You all but jumped off the couch once Ellie was off your lap and the three of you were clustered around the door when Maria yanked it open, breathless. Alex, a younger man who often kept watch at the gate was standing there, panting. 

“They’re back.” 

***

He couldn’t die. 

Not out here. Not like this. 

Not when it would also get his brother killed. 

Not when he hadn’t fixed things with Ellie, when she still hated him, when she didn’t fully understand what she meant to him. 

Not when he’d never told you how he felt about you. Not when he’d never said that he loved you, not when he’d never told any woman that he loved her.

Not out here. Not now. Not like this. 

It was all Joel could think as he and Tommy fought off the small band of raiders who’d come out, guns blazing. 

The fact that they survived was luck. 

Luck that they knew the area better than the fools who attacked them, that they had an idea of where to go to seek cover or how to cut around and attack from another position. Luck that these idiots were young - hardly more than boys, really, probably lured in with the promise of food and shelter and sex from whoever they could take - and were hardly sharp shooters. Luck that, while they’d been caught off guard, they’d been patrolling long enough that they knew how to react fast and react well. 

Luck that, the shots that did land, weren’t critical. 

But they were enough to slow them down. Joel had been shot in the thigh, Tommy the arm and it was a battle between trying to move fast enough to get back to Jackson before blood loss caught up with them while controlling their mounts and stopping often enough to change the emergency dressings on their wounds as they bled. 

The thought of you kept him moving. Your eyes, your smile, your voice as you sang while he played guitar. The way you trusted him enough to let him be close to you, the way you cared for the horses, the way you loved Ellie. He was going to make it back to you. If it was the last thing he ever did, he was making it home to you. 

Joel wasn’t sure what time it was when they rode up to the main gate, hardly able to stay sitting up on the back of his horse. 

“Jesus Christ, Joel!” Patrick, one of the men who was guarding the main gate, rushed forward and caught him as he all but fell off his horse. “What the fuck happened?” 

“Raiders,” he said, breathless from the pain and effort of staying on the back of his mount when he was this injured. 

“Ran into a band of ‘em about a day and a half out,” Tommy said, voice strained from pain. “Right near the turn around point.” 

Carter, another guard, got to Tommy, who waved him off. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “Just get the horses to the stables, I gotta get my brother to the clinic…” 

“Can you help him?” Patrick asked, shoulder in Joel’s armpit as he helped him stay on his feet. “I can run ahead to the clinic that way…” 

“I got it,” Alex yelled from atop the wall. “I’ll get the doc up!” 

Dr. Palmer was bleary eyed but awake when Joel and Tommy made it to the clinic. 

“Shit,” she swore, looking at the two of them. “Alright, let’s get the two of you settled and then I’ll assess…” 

She put Tommy in one makeshift exam room and Joel in the other and, for the first time since the attack began a day and a half before, Joel felt like he could breathe. 

He’d made it back. Tommy was alive and he’d made it back to you and Ellie. 

“Joel!” 

It was as though his thoughts had summoned his would be daughter, her small body hurtling at him after she burst through the door. She slammed into him and he caught her as she clung to him, crying into his chest. 

“Hey, Baby Girl,” he said, arms going around her and holding her close. There was the faint smell of hay on her hair, a smell that made him smile. For a moment, he wondered if he’d actually made it back. If, maybe, he was dreaming. If Ellie being happy to see him was a final gift from his dying mind as he bled out in the forest. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, you’re OK…” 

“I know I’m OK,” she pulled back from him with a sniffle. “It’s you we’ve been worried about, you dick!” 

“Joel.” 

Your voice was so quiet, he barely heard it but, the next thing he knew, you were against him. He hadn’t really been able to get a proper look at you, nothing but a blur of hair and one of his plaid shirts as you ran for him. Your arms went around his neck and your body pressed against him and Joel felt you take a deep, shuddering breath as he clutched you close. 

Ellie must not have talked to you, you weren’t disgusted by him, still wanted to be near him. His lips brushed your cheek.

“I was so afraid,” your voice was quiet and thick and he held you somehow tighter, your body between his legs. He ignored the pulling, throbbing pain at his thigh. It didn’t matter. Not when it meant having you close. 

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart,” he said softly. You were so warm and soft and fuck, he loved you. “Didn’t mean to worry you…” 

You stepped back and tried your eyes on the sleeves of the shirt he’d given you. You put your arm around Ellie and tugged her against your side as she tried to pretend like she hadn’t just been crying, too. You looked him up and down, your eyes ranging over him, frowning when you noticed the blood at his thigh.

“I’ll be fine…” he began, but you cut him off. 

“Someone shot you,” your eyes were all wide and doe-like, looking from his thigh to his face and back again. You reached for the injury before you seemed to think better of it, instead putting your hand on his knee. 

“Ran into some raiders,” Joel said, keeping his voice calm. “We took care of ‘em, but they got some hits in. We’re alright.” 

You swallowed hard and nodded as Dr. Palmer came back in, looking surprised to see you and Ellie there. 

“I’ll need you two to wait outside,” she said. “These rooms are tight enough, I need some space to work.” 

“But…” Ellie protested but she interrupted. 

“I’ll take good care of him,” she smiled a little. “Promise. It’s OK.” 

“C’mon Kid,” you kept your eyes on Joel as you started steering Ellie toward the door. “We’ll stick close, it’s OK.” 

He watched you go until you closed the door behind you, eyes lingering where you’d been, like touching the space you’d occupied with his sight would keep you there longer. 

“Let’s get you fixed up,” the doctor smiled, pulling a seat up alongside him. “Get you home with your girls as quick as we can.” 

Joel felt like he should argue the classification for a moment. That you and Ellie were his in any way, that he’d ever be worthy of being something to either of you after everything he had done, all that he had wrought. 

But he wanted you and Ellie to be his, wanted to live in a moment where that was true. Exist in a space that you were his woman - his to come home to, his to look after, his to love - and Ellie was his daughter, a girl he loved and looked after and guided through life alongside you. 

“How’s Tommy?” Joel asked after a minute as she cut the denim away from the injury on his leg and started cleaning the wound. 

“Better off than you,” she said, sounding a little distracted. 

“Good,” Joel said, nodding slowly. “S’my fault. Got distracted. Should be me paying for it.” 

“Seems like it’s the raiders’ fault,” she said absently. “It looks like the bullet is in a good spot so I’m going to try to pull it out and get things all bandaged up. It’s going to hurt…” 

“It’s fine,” Joel said, gripping the edge of the table, looking at the door. You were close. He just had to get through this and then he’d get to be with you and Ellie. “Had worse.” 

She nodded and set to work, Joel gritting his teeth through the pain as Dr. Palmer rooted around in his leg. He was right, he’d had worse, but it still hurt like hell. But he didn’t want to freak out you or Ellie, he’d rather the two of you think that everything happening in this room was calm and painless as the doctor pulled the bullet free. She held it up in the small tongs so he could see, the metal shiny with blood. 

“Sure is a little thing to have caused so much trouble,” she said, turning it in the light for a moment before dropping it on a small tray with a resounding clatter. “Let me make sure you don’t have any damage beyond the obvious and then I’ll get you cleaned and bandaged up.” 

Joel just nodded, still watching the door as she worked. 

“You know,” she said after a while. “I’m glad to see that you and Ellie seem to be patching things up…” 

“That’s a… new development,” Joel said. “Hopin’ it sticks.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“Also glad to see that you’ve found someone here besides your brother,” she said, adjusting Joel’s leg so she could wrap the wound. He frowned and she seemed to sense it. “You’ve done a lot for this community, Joel, but you have a tendency to keep to yourself. Which is fine, of course, so long as you’re happy that way. But you deserve more if you want it. Nice to see you have that for a change.” 

She sat back and looked at his leg, giving it a nod. 

“Come back in a few days,” she said. “Me or Carol will take a second look at it, make sure it’s healing well. Take it easy in the mean time, you lost a lot of blood. Let someone take care of you for a change, OK?” 

Joel laughed a little. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

She opened the door and you and Ellie both jumped up from the couch. But you stayed put for a moment as Dr. Palmer left, Ellie closing the door behind her so it was just the two of them. 

“Hey Kiddo,” he smiled a little. “Sure is good to see ya.” 

“Good to see you, too, old man,” she smiled a little in return, her back pressed against the door. “Can I talk to you for a second? I know you’re probably tired and shit but…” 

“Course,” Joel frowned. “What’s on your mind?” 

She pushed off the door and shoved her hands in her pockets as she stepped closer to the exam table, watching her feet for a moment. 

“I, um…” she trailed off before taking a deep breath and looking him in the eye. “I talked to Bambi. I told her everything. The real reason you brought me west, what happened in the hospital… all of it.” 

Joel’s heart clenched but he nodded slowly. Christ, what you must think of him now. He had to explain it to you, he could explain it to you, make you understand why, he could.  

“That’s OK Baby Girl,” he said. “Not fair of me to ask you to hid things from people you care about and… I still think you need to keep why I brought you here a secret but she’s safe. She’ll protect you.” 

“I know,” she nodded. “But… She said some shit to me about it and it made me think and… I don’t know that I’ll ever think you did the right thing in that hospital, Joel. But… I guess she made me think about it differently. And I can try to understand it, what you did. I want to understand it, I want to be able to have a relationship with you again. I don’t want to be pissed at you forever…” she took a deep breath and looked at her feet for a moment before looking back at him again, tears shining in her eyes. “I’ve missed you. And it scared the shit out of me, thinking that you might not come back and the last thing I ever said to you was something so fucking shitty and I’m sorry I said it and…” 

“Baby Girl,” Joel said gently, trying not to cry himself, his chest tight. “Come here.” 

Ellie nodded, her jaw set, and she pressed her face into his shoulder, her arms going around his waist. He held her close. She felt so small against him. As strong as she was, as tough as she acted, she was still just a girl. His little girl, the same little girl he’d fought to protect, the same little girl he’d brought across the country, the same little girl who had become his reason for existing. 

“It’s OK,” he said gently. She nodded into his chest. “I’ve got you Baby Girl. I’ve got you.”  

He held her for a moment, until her breathing slowed to a more normal rate and her tears slowed. She pulled back from him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. 

“I don’t know what I’m ready for yet,” she said, shoving her hands in her back pockets. “I don’t think… I don’t think I can just go back to how it was before Salt Lake City. But maybe you, me and Bambi can have dinner or something.” 

“Whatever you want, Kiddo,” he smiled. “I’ll take whatever you want to give me.” 

She nodded and sniffed, looking a little calmer now. 

“I’m going to head home,” she said. “But… I’ll come by tomorrow and see how you’re doing. If that’s OK.” 

“Course,” he nodded. “I can’t wait. I love you so much, Baby Girl. I really, really do.” 

She smiled a little. 

“I know,” she said. “Or, well… I think I’m starting to. I’m… I’m glad you’re going to be OK, Joel.” 

She leaned in slowly and gave him a soft peck on the cheek before hugging him one more time. 

He watched her go, you right there when she opened the door, giving her shoulder a squeeze as she passed and you closed the door behind her. 

“I could have sworn I told you to come back in one piece,” you smiled a little, arms crossed as you closed the distance between the two of you. 

He laughed, smoothing his hand over your hair, gently holding the base of your skull in his large palm. His leg suddenly hurt much less. 

“You did,” he said, tilting your head just so, kissing you softly. “Tried to listen but…” 

“Think you can make it home?” You asked. 

“Might need to take it slow,” he said. “But I’m not sleepin’ somewhere you aren’t for any longer than I have to.” 

He leaned on you for the short walk to his house, the trip easily taking three times longer than usual. Neither of you spoke, Joel focused on breathing through the pain and the effort it took to move, and he was relieved to make it in the front door. 

“If you tell me where sheets are, I can fix up the couch…” 

“Baby,” Joel cut you off. “I’m makin’ it up those stairs. Told you, I’m not sleeping somewhere you aren’t and that means we are in the same damn bed.” 

“Joel…” 

“Rode a day and a half with a damn bullet in my leg,” he said. “Can handle some stairs.” 

You just smiled a little and shook your head but helped him up to the bedroom, too. 

“See?” He said, panting for breath as he sat heavily on the edge of the bed. “Told you, I’m fine.” 

“How about I get you some water and something to eat before you pass out,” you shook your head a little, leaving him alone for a moment before coming back with a tall glass of water and a pear. 

“Here,” you held it out. “Start with this. I’m going run you a bath…” 

“Really don’t need you to take care of me, Baby.” 

You leveled him with a glare. He laughed a little. 

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, Sweetheart.” 

Joel drank the water and ate the pear before making his way to the bathroom. 

“What are you doing!” Your eyes went wide when he leaned against the door frame. 

“I can walk down the hall on my own, sweetheart,” he half smiled at you and you turned off the water to the tub before going to him, unbuttoning his shirt, your fingers brushing his skin. He traced the outline of your face, your skin soft below his callused touch. “Baby. I’m OK.” 

“Scared the shit out of me,” you muttered, sliding his shirt off of him and draping it over his arm. You lowered the toilet seat and pointed him there and he tried to not smile too big as he obeyed. He’d never seen you be a caretaker before, at least to anything besides the horses. It was almost reassuring, seeing your reaction to his coming back. Like it was confirmation that you felt for him the way he felt for you. Like maybe what Ellie had said hadn’t horrified you. 

You helped him out of his jeans and underwear, carefully pulling the fabric over his injured leg before helping him in the tub. 

“Leave the hurt leg outside the bath,” you said, helping him sit down, one leg in the water, one leg on the tile floor. “Something tells me that’s not supposed to get wet.”  

“Think you’re right,” he replied as he settled into the water. You sat on the ground next to him, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt and grabbing his washcloth and the soap. “Baby…” 

“Hush,” you replied, wetting the cloth and covering it in soap before running it over his skin slowly, methodically. Joel watched you, watched your brows drawn together in concentration, finding every inch of him, the tender pressure of your touch as you washed away the sweat and the dirt and the blood. When you brought the cloth back to his already cleaned chest, he gently caught your wrist and your eyes flew to his, all wide and deep with tears at the edges. He brushed his thumb over the delicate structure of your veins, feeling the thrum of your heart through your blood. 

“Baby,” he said softly. “I’m OK.” 

“Joel,” your voice broke and you all but collapsed against him, your head going to his chest, your body pressed against the cool porcelain of the tub. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could without pulling you into the water with him. Your wracking, choking sobs made his heart ache and he pressed a long kiss into the crown of your head, breathing in the smell of you as he did. “I was so scared, I had a bad feeling and I just… I can’t lose you, too, please don’t make me lose you, I can’t…” 

“Not goin’ anywhere, Sweetheart,” he said, holding you. “Always gonna come back to you, can’t stop me.” 

You laughed wetly against him, your breaths evening out and calming down. After another minute you sat back, dabbing your eyes with the back of your wrist. 

“Sorry,” you sniffed, shaking your head a bit. “Probably think I’m crazy, acting like this…” 

“You and Ellie were all I could think about out there,” he said softly. “Kept thinking I had to get back, had to fix things with her. Couldn’t die with her hating me that much. And I had to… I had to tell you that I love you. Couldn’t let some raider fucks take me out without you knowin’ that.”

“Joel,” you breathed, the washcloth slipping from your hand and into the water. You damn near climbed in the tub with him, kissing him desperately, your wet fingers knotting in his hair. He held you close, the water from his skin soaking into your shirt but you didn’t seem to care. You eventually separated from him, panting for breath, his hands still on you. Your eyes searched his, your nose brushing against his own as you breathed, your hand moving to his face, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. He could feel the callus on your skin, the ones from riding and playing standing out in contrast to the softness of the rest of you. “Joel, I love you, too. So much it scares me, I’ve never loved anyone I haven’t lost and I can’t lose you, Joel. I can’t.” 

He tugged you closer, so his forehead was on yours, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“I know, Sweetheart,” he said softly. “Can’t lose you, either.” 

He kissed you, gently at first, but it grew needy and desperate before too long, your hands ranging over his naked, wet skin, slipping below the water before wrapping your fingers around his now hardening cock. 

“Baby,” he whispered in half-hearted protest. 

“Am I hurting you?” You sat back from him enough to look over his face, frowning. 

“No,” he said and you brushed your thumb over his slit, making him moan. “Just… don’t know that I’ll be able to properly return the favor.” 

You smiled a little and shook your head, kissing him again, your hand starting to work him up and down. 

“Let me do this for you,” you said softly before pressing your lips to his again. “Don’t worry about me. I want to take care of you, make you feel good.” 

He moaned into your mouth as you stroked him, your hand so much smaller and softer than his own, your lips sweet against his. He wanted to swallow the taste and feel of you, pull you into himself where he could keep you with him, make you a part of him so he’d never have to be without you again. He involuntarily thrust up against your hand and he felt you smile as you kissed him, your tongue slipping between his lips to find his own. 

You worked him harder, faster, kissing him more forcefully, pressing the parts of you that could reach him tighter and tighter to him. When he came, his whole body got tight and needy with the heady pleasure of it, his come spilling into the water as your hand slowed. 

“Fuck, Baby,” he managed, slumping down in the tub, your hand still on his now softening cock. 

You smiled and pressed one last soft kiss to his lips. 

“C’mon,” you said, getting up and drying your hands before pulling the towel from the rack. “Let’s get you to bed. Sun’s going to be up soon, we need some sleep.” 

Once you pulled him to his feet, he put the towel around his waist and you helped him down the hall again and to the bed. Joel didn’t bother with pajamas, just climbing in naked, watching you as you undressed, eyes ranging over your every curve, longing to touch every inch of your smooth skin. 

“Sure I won’t hurt you?” You asked, frozen with the blanket in your hand as you were about to climb in bed. 

“You won’t,” Joel said. “And I need to be next to you. Leg can deal with it.” 

You smiled a little and shook your head but climbed into bed anyway, turning out the light on your way. You tried to keep your distance at first, not melting against him the way you usually did when you got into bed, but Joel pulled you to him anyway and he felt the familiar contours of you relax into him when he did. He put his arms around you, holding you to him. This was where you belonged. Here, like this, where he could feel you and know you were safe. 

After a few minutes of silence beside you, he took a deep breath and brought up the thing that had him so distracted when on patrol to begin with. 

“Ellie talked to you,” he said softly, not really asking it. He knew the answer was yes. 

You were quiet for a moment. 

“She did.” 

He held you tighter. 

“You’re still here,” he said. 

“I am,” you said. 

He kissed the top of your head and you pressed yourself closer. 

“Ellie said you made her think about it differently,” he said slowly. “Can… Can I ask what you said? How you’re feelin’?” 

You took a deep, shaky breath. 

“I told her that you did what any parent would do,” you said, your voice soft, cracking ever so slightly. “I told her that, in that scenario, you never really had a choice. That isn’t a choice. Of course you’d save your child. There isn’t a world to save without her in it. I asked her if she’d have let the Fireflies kill William. If she’d have let them kill you. She seemed… I don’t think she understands it yet. I’m not sure she really can, at her age. But I think she will. And I think you did the right thing, Joel. I’d have done the same thing you did.” 

Joel nodded and took a deep breath of his own, pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“I…” his voice broke and he took a second to center himself. He needed to make sure you understood. He needed you to know this part of him, too. “I had a daughter. Before. Before Ellie, before the outbreak, I had a daughter…” 

“Joel,” you whispered, your fingers finding his hair, brushing through it soothingly. He gave you a squeeze. 

“Her name was Sarah,” the tightness in his chest felt like it might crush him but he kept going. “She was… she was amazing. Best thing that ever happened to me, just the best fuckin’ kid. She was so damn smart, so sweet - still not sure where the fuck she got that from - and so funny. Her mom left us both when she was a baby so it was just the two of us but I liked it that way, just me n’her. She was mine, she was all I needed. She made life worth living. But… In the outbreak…” 

He blinked back tears. 

“Don’t matter how it happened, I guess,” he said after a moment. “All that matters is I didn’t protect her as well as I should have and she died in my arms and it damn near killed me. In a lot of ways, it did. Kept wishing it had been me instead of her or, at the very least, that it would have taken me, too, so I wasn’t stuck tryin’ to live without her. Being without her was… it was the worst kind of hell. I went numb to everything, fuckin’ everything. Sometimes wondered if I was alive at all, didn’t seem like I was. Didn’t have a reason to be. And that’s what life was until Ellie. And that girl, that smart ass little girl… She’s the first thing that made me feel like there was still life to be had after Sarah. 

“I wasn’t supposed to love ‘er. Pretty sure that’s why the damn Fireflies asked me to take her to begin with, didn’t think I could get attached to anything. Figured I’d be fine handing her over to die, long as they paid me well. When they told me what would happen to her, what they needed, I… I couldn’t do it, Baby. I couldn’t let ‘em hurt her, kill her. Don’t give a shit about some theoretical fuckin’ cure - wouldn’t give a shit if it was a sure thing, either - if it meant she wasn’t going to live go see it. World’s not worth it without her. I couldn’t survive losing her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t fail her, too, I had to protect her. So that’s what I did. I saved her. And… and I lied to her about it. Knew she’d hate herself for it, she carried a lot of weight on her shoulders because of her immunity - she acted like it was her whole purpose, saving the fuckin’ world - and I couldn’t put that on her, too. But she learned the truth and I don’t blame her for hating me for it. Still… I don’t regret it. Never have, not for a single goddamn second. Don’t care how much she hates me as long as she’s alive to do it. That’s all that matters. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. It’s worth it. Always will be.” 

Your fingers stilled in his hair, tangling in it at the back of his head and you pulled him toward you, your lips meeting his, so soft against him. He just kissed you for a minute, concentrating on the feeling of your skin on him, the feeling of you in his arms. He could feel tears on your cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” you said quietly, pulling away from him, your voice thick and wet. “I’m so sorry you had to live through everything you have, that you had to survive without your child… But I’m so happy it didn’t take you, too. I’m so happy you made it here, that you found me and I found you and… I love you, Joel.” 

He pulled you impossibly closer, his fingers sinking into the softness of your skin as he clutched you tight. 

“I am, too, now,” he said. “Her… her and you. Makes sense now, why I lived. Needed to find the two of you. Got everything I need with the two of you.” 

Dawn was edging into the horizon when you fell asleep in his arms and he just watched you breathe in the hazy light of the early morning. He watched you like that for a long time, until exhaustion took hold and he couldn’t anymore and he fell asleep wrapped up in you, bathed in the light of day.

Next Chapter

A/N: Thank y'all so so much for being patient with this chapter! I've had an absolutely insanely busy few weeks. I'll probably be posting a bit less frequently for a week or so yet but expect this to be updated at least once a week in the mean time. I really appreciate you being willing to wait for the next chapters. Please know that I'd much rather be writing this than working, believe me!

I'm going to be doing a bit of a review of the story map for this part of the fic this weekend and I should have an angsticipation timeline update for those curious very very soon!

I do have a an updates blog for those who want to be alerted when I publish. Just follow and subscribe here.

Thank you for being here and for reading my work and hanging out in this corner of the internet. I love it here because you're here.

Love you!!

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[undead-supernova]

Masterlist

plot: when you suggest that you and Eddie should quit smoking cigarettes, Eddie struggles to believe in his capabilities. but there's just something about the way you challenge him...

pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x bisexual!fem!reader

important note: this is a one-off of my High Tolerance series! Somehow I can't get enough of Eddie and Weirdo and I can't help but come back to them. (this is six months before Part 1 of the original series!)

warnings: fluffy fluff fluff fluuuuuuuuuuffffff, talking about smoking, a small argument, Southern culture, country music, reader has an accent, (why are Eddie and Weirdo so horny as friends? shouldn't they have known sooner? idiots)

wc: 2.4k

thank yew @strangergraphics for your adorable dividers!!!!

It was unusual, the way it all started.

Just a normal Tuesday with the bitter cold of January and the crowded highways blocked off by unnecessary construction. Honks muffled by the sound of Guns ‘N Roses’ “Welcome To The Jungle” coming through your speakers. You were clad in a black turtleneck and jeans. Eyes lined in black, maroon-lipped. Spiked bracelets and nine shiny rings dappling light around the car.

Eddie was riding shotgun, sighing alongside you at how slow the traffic was moving when you first said it.

“I have a proposition.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “A proposition?”

You nodded. “Yeah, and I want you to hear me out.”

“Uh, okay?” he said, unsure as to what was about to come out of your mouth.

“I think we should stop smoking cigarettes,” you stated simply, looking back at the road as you inched forward. “A New Year’s resolution.”

“Nuh-uh,” he said, throwing his hands up, his rings reflecting off yours. “No way. Nope.”

“What! Why not?” you exclaimed, now throwing your hands up before promptly putting them back on the steering wheel.

Eddie had his own reasons, like how he’d been smoking for nearly ten years and the irritation of working at a dealership where rich idiots badgered him for just doing his job. The stress of bills and keeping his music career afloat. Not to mention how fucking sweet a puff of nicotine was whenever he got drunk or cross-faded. Nothing beats that feeling. Even you knew that.

“I just don’t want to.”

“Even if I did it with you?” you asked, voice growing soft.

He looked at you, confusion falling over his features. Your eyes seemed a little solemn, like you were disappointed by his refusal. And it was in your expression that he felt drawn to the idea. Because, yeah, if you actually could stop, maybe he could, too. But…

“We wouldn’t stop smoking weed, you know,” you added, cutting off his thoughts. “Just cut out the cancer sticks.”

“It won’t be as easy for me,” he said, sighing defeatedly. “I, uh, I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“You always doubt your own strength, I swear.” You shook your head. “You’re so smart but so, so stupid sometimes. I say that affectionately, by the way.”

Before Eddie could think about some witty comeback, he heard the sound of the next song starting. It was different from your usual genres. It was the picking of a guitar, all folky and twangy and…

Country.

“What is this?” he asked, eyeing you.

You smirked, cranking the volume up as you started singing along.

         “Well, I was raised up beneath the shade of a Georgia Pine

         and that’s home, you know

         Sweet tea, pecan pie, and homemade wine

         where the peaches grow."

Eddie groaned. “Dude, what the fuck is this?”

You merely shook your head, your tone as playful as your expression. “It’s Zac Brown Band, god dammit! Show some respect.”

He was struck by your Southern accent popping up out of seemingly nowhere. And before he could even remotely process that or protest again, you cleared your throat and started screaming.

Not singing. Screaming.

         “A LITTLE BIT OF CHICKEN FRIED

         A COLD BEER ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

         A PAIR OF JEANS THAT FIT JUST RIGHT

         AND THE RADIO UUUUUUP!”

“Please turn it off,” Eddie pleaded, dragging his hands down his face. “I think you’re killing me.”

“Nope,” you said simply. “My car, my music. It’s the least you can do when we’re stuck on this highway and you’re refusing to quit smoking without even trying.”

“Oh, come on,” Eddie huffed. “Like it’s that fucking easy.”

“Have you ever tried to stop smoking?”

Eddie thought about it for two, maybe three seconds before feeling a twinge of embarrassment.

There had never been a singular thought given to the idea of quitting. Not once. Smoking was just something he did. There wasn’t much else to it. No secret shame or guilt. No bargaining or grief. No, it was just something he did.

“No,” he admitted, avoiding your eyes. 

“At least think about it, okay?”

Eddie nodded before glancing back at you. You continued humming along to the god awful song and tapped the steering wheel, as pretty as ever. And he was surely in love with you. Really, he was. But he thought he was going to explode from how much he hated this song. It wasn’t just the sound, but the lyrics and how you knew every single one.

If he didn’t want a cigarette before, he surely wanted one now.

By the time the bridge hit, you cleared your throat, straightened your posture, and threw up a salute.

Eddie stared at you like you were crazy. “What the—”

         “I thank God for my life!

         And for stars and stripes

         May freedom forever fly, let it riiiiiiing.”

“Oh, I swear to god. I’m losing my mind.”

         “Salute the ones who died

         The ones that give their lives

         So we don’t have to sacrifice

         all the things we looooooooooove.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie decided to throw up a quick salute himself. “Aye, aye, boys. Yes, okay,” he sighed. “Can we please change it?”

You nodded then and Eddie was severely grateful to hear the beginning notes to “Rebel Girl” by Bikini Kill.

Thank god.

But you didn’t let up. “You can’t just live in the South for three years and not listen to at least one country song.”

“I did a reaaaally good job up until now.” That made you laugh. “I didn’t know you listened to country.”

“I contain multitudes, Eddie. Multitudes. Layers. Like an onion.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s in my blood. Don’t hate on country music just ‘cause you don’t get it. There’s more out there than just jeans, beer, girls, and tractors.”

“Don’t forget trucks.”

You snorted before exaggerating your accent. “Yeah, and I’ll run you over with one, boy.”

Despite his frustration at the grating music, Eddie stopped itching for a cigarette. No, the desire had disappeared entirely. He was looking at you, all giggles and lighthearted apologies, and couldn’t help but laugh along at how utterly goofy the encounter was.

And once he took a second to think about it, he realized that your accent had bled through the entire song. Your sweet little Southern accent that rarely popped out had been on full display for him and only him. That paired with your eyeliner and your spikes and your lips and your everything. It was…cute. Like, very cute.

You were always just so genuine. It was in the way you just fucking cared about things. How you just wanted to try and how it made him want to try, too. You always knew there was more inside of him than even he knew. How you did it, he couldn’t say.

It was hard to say no to you.

It was hard not to love you.

“Okay,” he said finally. “Let’s do it.”

You gawked at him, rapidly flicking your head back and forth from him to the road as traffic began to finally pick up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And like every addiction, the first week was the hardest.

If Eddie was sitting, his legs were bouncing. If he had a moment to spare, he was drinking coffee and scarfing Red Vines. Kept a toothpick in his mouth as if it would do anything. Frustration ran down his limbs in shivers that turned into unprovoked anger. It was fucking killing him.

You weren’t doing too hot either. When you called, you complained about a sore jaw from the three packs of wintermint gum you’d gone through. Bitten cheeks and lips. Irritation from anything and everything that came across your path.

So, when you saw each other that weekend, Eddie said flat out, “I don’t wanna quit anymore.”

You dropped your scrubber back into the sink, turning your head to gawk at him in shock. Mouth wide open, showing off a pitiful piece of gum you’d been chewing on for maybe two hours.

“What?”

Eddie shrugged, suddenly intimidated by your gaze. “Don’t you think this is, I don’t know, too much?”

“Too much?” you asked, voice hardening.

“Yeah.”

“Eddie, you haven’t even tried yet.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, that incessant frustration rising up his chest and into his mouth. “I have and it’s not working.”

“You have not!” you argued, placing your hands on your hips. “It’s been a week and, yeah, this is fucking hard. But it’s just temporary. Robin said it takes at least a week or longer for it to, like, detox. Probably longer for us.”

Barking out a bitter laugh, Eddie challenged you. “What if I don’t care what Robin thinks?”

“Then you’re giving up and you’ll spend the next however many years killing your lungs because it was hard for a week.”

“You’re one to talk! You’ve smoked for the same amount of time as me.”

“And yet I’m still fighting for it.”

He watched your chewing seemingly turn aggressive, knowing that you were disappointed in him. And it was actually hurting. 

That first flare of guilt hit him then. 

“Why do you want me to quit so bad?” he wondered.

“Because I know you can do it!” you exclaimed. “This shit sucks, Eddie. I’m literally gonna lose my mind some time soon. But it’s not forever.” 

He rolled his eyes. But he realized it was most definitely a mistake when you stepped forward and put a finger to his chest, eyes locked on yours as your breath seemingly washed over his neck.

“Because after everything I know about you, your past, I know you wouldn’t be here right now if you were someone who gave up. If you didn’t fight just to try to have a better life.” Eddie stayed silent, watching your eyes grow soft. “And if you can get through all of that other shit, you sure as hell can quit smoking cigarettes.”

In that moment, Eddie couldn’t help but love you that much more. You were a challenger, a pusher. But it wasn’t unjustified and it wasn’t excessive. No, you were just a force to be reckoned with. When you knew something to be true, you hardly let up. Some called it stubbornness, but Eddie knew it to be determination.

Oh god, how he loved that about you. How you told him what to do and pushed him to do better.

And, oh god, did he have to try his hardest to stop getting a tiny bit hard thinking about it. This was not the time.

“Fine, I’ll keep trying.”

Your shoulders slumped, clearly exhausted from your argument. Leaned your head on his shoulder and heaved a sigh before stepping back.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll try. But don’t expect me to stop complaining about it.”

“As if I won’t. Hell, I’ll go first. Having an oral fixation sucks,” you admitted. 

Eddie’s eyes immediately went to your lips. And, Jesus, even all bitten up and cracked, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you. To call this argument to a close by throwing you up against a wall and devouring you until this bout of irritation dissipated from your bones.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “You’re telling me.”

He could’ve sworn your eyes flickered to his, your own lips nearly quirking up into a smirk. And, fuck, did it seem like you were chest-to-chest, all sidled up and ready for the next fight.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked.

“Like what, Weirdo?” he deflected, unable to keep himself from leaning in just a little bit further.

You pressed a finger into his dimples. “Like that.”

What, like I want to kiss you silly and massage your cheeks and then kiss you again and take that gum out of your mouth and make it mine and be gross and stupid? Like I want to say I’m sorry by taking you in this kitchen right now? Like I’m going to lose my mind from how much I fucking love you?

Eddie took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Took a step back.

“I think I’m going crazy.”

“Come on,” you said with a smile. “Let’s go get Taco Bell.”

He smiled back, feeling the heat start to subside from his face. And, most importantly, his dick. 

“I could always use a Baja Blast.”

Things weren’t so bad after that first month. Or the second. Or the third.

And by the time you guys hit the six month mark, Eddie didn’t even crave it anymore. If anything, he couldn’t believe how much better his mood was. His chest felt lighter. Head clearer. 

For once, life felt good without a cigarette.

He noticed the same in you, how smiley you were at any given moment. No need to duck out to get a quick smoke in or beg for one after a crying spell. It was like a weight was lifted off of you. He couldn’t believe that such a small thing made up of tobacco, paper, and cotton could have such a big impact on, well, everything.

In the past, you were always looking forward to a cigarette. So, the two of you devised a plan. Every week or every other week, you and Eddie would go to Jailbait Hemp and try out a new product. Split the cost. Go find something to do. Just let loose and see where the day took you.

Today you were at Piedmont Park, passing a joint back and forth as people filtered in and out. You were lying on your backs, a blanket beneath your figures. Both barely able to see each other through the blinding sun because, predictably, no thought to grab your sunglasses. 

“We should try that THC syrup next Thursday,” you suggested.

Eddie turned his head, squinting back at you in the sun’s glare. Tried to see your pretty face the best he could. Sneaked another glance at how breathtaking you were in your sundress.

“Oh, yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah, why not?”

Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle. “Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“Where do you wanna go to try it out?”

Summer lasted longer in the South. You’d have the Georgia heat to yourselves until mid-October. Eddie had no idea what you’d do until then. Drink, laugh. Play games, go to karaoke. Work.

Maybe things could change. Maybe he’d even get the courage to ask you out one of these days. It was funny what one could do with all of the money they once set aside for packs of cigarettes.

It was July and Eddie was in love. Had been for nearly four years. 

And some part of him knew as he watched you search the clouds that he’d continue to fall harder every single day. 

He knew exactly where to take you next week.

“No clue,” he lied, smiling to himself. “But it’ll be a damn good time.”

[syddsatyrn]

Chapter 1 ⛤ Chapter 2 ⛤ Chapter 3 ⛤ Chapter 4 ⛤ Chapter 5 Masterlist

⛤Pairing: - Eddie Munson x FemReader

⛤Warnings: Swearing, drinking, smoking, fluff, friends to lovers, drug use

⛤Words: 2k

⛤Song: "Photograph" By Def Leppard

⛤Summary: Moving away from Hawkins was the biggest mistake of your life. You left your best friends and forgot to stay in touch. Years later, you decide to hit up your good friend Steve. Its time to make a plan and make amends. The one thing you didn't expect was feelings to resurface when you saw your old highschool crush.

⛤Notes: This series is 18+ Minors scram. @hellfiremunsonn is my trusty beta reader, go check out their fics! They are so good!

⛤Chapter 3: Reunion Eddie unlocks the front door of his apartment, he's trying to be extra careful not to make any noise. He looks over at the couch and quickly notices Dustin snoring away. He slowly shut the door behind him and carried on down the hallway. Upon entering his bedroom, he flipped the light switch, and nestled in his bed was Y/N. A figure he did not anticipate whatsoever. “....Y/N?” He almost thought he was dreaming. You sat up quickly, entirely shocked by the sight in front of you. You exchanged glances, the air was filled with so many unspoken questions. Eddie is trying to mentally make sense of the sight before him. His face starts to turn red as he slowly realizes his high school crush is sleeping in his bed. “Eddie?!” You are so confused, Steve said he wouldn't be back for a couple of days. Is this some kind of setup? Goddammit Steve. “I am SO sorry.” You frantically roll out of his bed and stand there, searching for some kind of expression on Eddie’s face. “Steve must have been confused, he said you wouldn't be home for a couple of days. We made a plan and I came out to surprise you guys.” “Well…I’m certainly surprised.” He says as he sets his bags down. He approaches you and immediately wraps his arms around your shoulders. “It's so good to see you, Y/N.” He says, just barely above a whisper. You were rendered speechless, your face was pressed against his chest. He kisses the top of your head, something he always used to do. You wrapped your arms around his midsection and it took everything in you to fight back those reunion tears. It was a long hug, one that had to make up for years of physical and emotional distance. He finally lets go, and you meet his gaze. “It’s good to see you too, Eddie.” You say with a smile, he hasn't changed a bit. His hair is a little longer, but he still wears the same ripped jeans, leather jacket, and silver rings. “I’m the one who should be sorry, I came home early. My last show was canceled due to bad weather.” Eddie explains, “I should have called but I didn’t have time to use a phone.” He snags one of the cigarettes off the bedside table and lights it. “No it's cool, I’m really happy to see you.” You say as you sit back down on the edge of Eddie's bed. “How was your tour? I heard your band is doing well nowadays.” “We are actually! I feel like we’ve made a serious breakthrough in the industry. The tour was fun, I got to see New York. The food was amazing, the fans are a blast.” “Oh wow, so you’re like a big celebrity now, huh?” You tease, Eddie smirks and takes a drag off his cigarette. He walks over to his bags and puts his guitar in the empty guitar stand. “Hardly. How have you been? I haven't heard from you in forever and suddenly you end up in my bed?” He inquires, still holding on to that prominent smirk. “Things got pretty intense when we moved, it was like everything in my life came crashing down around me. I feel really bad about not keeping in touch with you guys. When I planned this with Steve I knew I would have to make some apologies.” You finally admit to him that you could have done better. Every time you didn't call or stay in touch it made you feel guilty. After some time it felt like a stupid, awkward thing to do. So you tried to forget about it, a big mistake on your part. It was time for you to explain yourself and make up for being so detached. “It's no big thing, sweetheart,” Eddie says as he sits next to you on the bed. “You can sleep in my bed, I can take the floor.” “No! I would feel terrible. Just…Just share it with me. It's fine, there's plenty of room.” You can feel your face getting warmer. It’s a pretty big bed so it probably won't get weird, right? “Well…if you’re sure.” He replies, noticing how exhausted you look. “You should get some rest, we can talk more in the morning.” “Thanks, Eddie, you’re a saint.” You crawl back under the covers. “Not even close, darling.” Eddie loosens and kicks off his boots. He walks over to his closet and changes into sweatpants and a fresh T-shirt.

You honestly tried to not glance at the metalhead's slender figure but failed miserably. He has new tattoos you’ve never seen before and he’s gained a bit more muscle in his arms. Eddie pulls a hair tie from his wrist and wraps his hair up in a messy bun. You didn't think Eddie Munson could get any hotter, but he did. Eddie flips the light switch and crawls into bed with you. You turn to face him and he faces you. This feels familiar, like deja vu.

“If this is too weird let me know.” He says, barely above a whisper. “It’s only weird if you make it weird, Munson.” You respond with a giggle.  ------------- The morning sun beams through the window, you can hear the sound of cars driving by the apartments. You open your eyes and gaze at the soft yellow glow pouring into the room.  The bed was so warm and comfortable, you never wanted to leave. You roll over and immediately realize you’ve curled up next to Eddie rather close. He’s You hear a couple of knocks on the door and Steve calls your name.  “Hey Y/N, I brought you a cup of coffee, open up.” You roll out of bed and open the bedroom door. Steve hands you the cup of coffee with a smile. “Good morning sunsh–” He trails off after he sees Eddie reluctantly sit up and rub his sleepy eyes. You could see the gears turning in his brain as he put two and two together. just snoozing away like nothing is happening, completely unaware of the fact that he was nearly spooning you. 

“When did you get home?!” Steve asks, a puzzled look on his face. “Last night.” Eddie yawns, “How come I don't get any coffee, Harrington?” He jokes with a sleepy grin. Steve gives you a look that immediately translates to “That didn’t take long”. You follow Steve to the kitchen and prepare a cup of coffee for Eddie.

“So did you guys–” You cut him off and he snorts. 

“No! Of course not!” Your face gets red and Steve can't stop laughing at how flustered you’re getting. You try to keep your voice down because Dustin is still sleeping like a rock on the couch. “Why would you say that?!” “Okay okay! I was just asking.” He says feeling satisfied by your unsettled expression. You take the coffee to Eddie’s room and Steve finishes up the bacon and pancakes.

Eddie is sitting upright, still trying to wake up. He smiles at you when you hand him a cup of coffee. “Thank you, sweetheart.” he says and pats the spot next to him, asking you to come sit.

Steve walks in with three plates of food. He hands one to Eddie and he practically scarfs it down. How long has it been since he last ate?? Steve sat on the floor in front of you and began cutting apart his pancakes with his fork.

“So, what's on the agenda today?” Steve asks with his mouth semi-full. 

“I’m not sure yet, I just got here.” Eddie replies, “Isn't Robin coming by?”

“Yeah but who knows when that will be.” Steve answers and shrugs.

The knock at the door was so on cue it was amazing. Dustin rolls off the couch and opens the door. 

“Hey kiddo, you’re still here?” Robin asks. Dustin gives her a drowsy nod and she laughs. You could recognize her voice and hopped up off the bed and rushed out into the hallway. Robin sees you and stops dead in her tracks. She's completely floored, her eyes are wide and her mouth is agape. Suddenly, without any warning you both start screaming and running towards each other. “Oh my god, you are here?!” She shouts and you scream “I am!” Robin wraps her arms around you and you do the very same. She squeezed you so tight you might explode. She is still as energetic as ever. Robin has been your best friend since middle school. You’ve missed her so much you almost start to cry.

“I can't believe you are here, I thought you dropped off the face of the planet!” She says and you laugh. “Honestly, I was just really depressed.” You reply. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend.” You sit back down and finish your breakfast, Robin leans against the doorframe. She gives Steve a suspicious look, “Is this why you wouldn't let me come over yesterday?” Steve almost chokes on his food. “I mean, yeah but we were planning a surprise! We are all going to hideout tonight to celebrate.” “I’m totally in, but do you think I could steal Y/N for the day?” Robin looks at Steve and Steve glances at Eddie. Why is Eddie suddenly your keeper? “As long as you wash her and bring her back.” Eddie chimes in and you laugh and gently shove him with your shoulder. “Hell yes! Let's go shopping. I need new shoes.” Robin cheers, and you giggle at Eddie's dumb comment. You grab your duffle bag on the floor and take it to the bathroom with you to get dressed. You grabbed a black t-shirt, and a pair of ripped jeans, and topped off your look with classic Converse. After adding silver rings and chains to your look you smooth out your shirt and look in the mirror. You add a touch of makeup to cover up the fact that you didn't get much sleep. After all the preparation, you meet Robin at the door. “You ready?” She asks as you grab your jacket and your wallet. You nod and wave at Eddie, who finally made his way to the kitchen for a second cup of coffee. “I’ll be back later, guys!” You announce. All three of the boys say goodbye in unison, which ultimately makes you laugh. After deciding to take Robin’s car, you both hop in and buckle your seatbelts. “Okay okay, tell me everything.” Robin says while pulling out of the parking lot. “Oh god, where do I even start?” You let out a groan, “Okay, first of all, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I abandoned you guys, that was really lame of me. I missed you all so much.” “Apology accepted.” Robin said. “I was never mad at you, I figured life had gotten in the way. I almost wanted to track you down and show up on your doorstep.” She laughs and you smile at her. “I would have totally been cool with that.” You reply. “Where are we going anyway?” “To Starcourt mall.” She finally tells you. “That place still exists?!” You ask. Robin and Steve used to work at this ice cream shop in the food court. You would visit them during their shift almost every day. “I know, I am just as surprised as you are.” Robin replies with a laugh.

[sturnsstar]

Treat you better ✶ Matt Sturniolo ✶ pt. 1

a/n: first fic I write for this fandom! Feedback is greatly appreciated :) Hope you like it! This will have two parts, the second one will contain smut xx

pairing: fem reader x Matt Sturniolo

warnings: angst and fluff, swearing, reader has a panic attack and is very insecure. SMUT in the next part!!

requested: no

summary: After reader's boyfriend breaks up with her, she starts feeling unworthy of anyone's love. Luckily, her friend Matt is ready to prove her otherwise.

P.S. english is not my first language.

Even though I’m trying  not to think about it, everything seems so hard right now. I feel drained and tired: every cell of my body is screaming at me to run away and hide from everyone. I don’t  want to be here, at this party, full of people I don’t know who are not aware of my feelings at this very moment.

My boyfriend, or now ex-boyfriend, just dumped me. Right on the spot. Without an apparent motivation or a justification. He made me get ready to accompany him at this stupid party I didn’t want to attend in the first place just to break up with me once there. 

I don’t  know what to do or what to think. Do I just go around this house pretending nothing happened? No one I know is here yet, and there’s a high chance I’ll see that asshole somewhere, probably too occupied to flirt with some random girl, now that he is a free man. 

I read once that heartbreak can actually cause physical pain but never believed it. I have to reevaluate that, because the pain I feel on my chest right now must be real.

I walk through the kitchen and the many bodies crowded there, hoping to reach the back door to get out and find some fresh air. The house feels so constricted, my lungs don’t have enough oxygen to keep functioning normally. Once I realize what I feel coming is a panic attack it’s too late. I should have known the symptoms, since they’ve been so frequent for me the last few months. Between the start of my first Uni year and the numerous fights I had with Hayden, I often found myself with a hand to my chest and my eyes closed, trying to regain my breath and clear my head. The stress and the pressure I felt lately decided to burst through during the most inappropriate times, one of them being right this instant, in a place where I don’t feel safe. 

I am so vulnerable and weak, my head is pounding and I let my eyes close for a few seconds, trying to adjust my breathing. What will I do now? How can I get over this? Tears are streaming down my face, ruining, I’m sure, the make-up I applied a few hours ago.

Suddenly, there’s a warm feeling on my shoulder. A hand, big and smooth, is gripping me tightly, and a voice I think I know from somewhere is calling my name, bringing me back from the dark place I was before.

I open my eyes, finding in front of me a pair of blue eyes with a worried expression, staring right back at me.

“What is it? What happened?” 

I want to tell him, I really do, but words feel like a boulder in my stomach. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out, except for a feeble screech. I feel so ashamed and yet safe, now that Matt is here with me. I am not alone anymore, I know he will help me. He’s the only one who knows what I am going through right now. Matt is always there when I need him, somehow. 

His expression changes, like he suddenly has a realization. He understands what’s wrong with me, even without me saying anything to him.

“Alright, this is what we’ll do. You follow me and we sit down on that bench over there. I will hold your hand, if you want. Think you can do that  for me?”

That is exactly what I need. The reassurance, someone who tells me I can rely on them. So I grab his hand, the one that wasn’t on my shoulder, and my silent answer is enough for him, cause he turns around and starts moving towards the white bench, his hold on me strong and firm. We sit next to each other, his jeans cladded thigh brushing against mine, our hands still connected. 

My breathing slows down, but it’s still a bit difficult for me to talk. Matt speaks again. 

“Listen to my breathing and try to match it. You’re okay. We’re sitting on a bench in a backyard, there’s no one else, just you and me. You can feel safe with me, you know that.”

Of course I know that. It’s one of the few facts I am fully certain of. In all the years I’ve known Matthew Sturniolo, he has never let me down once. He was my favorite playmate at kindergarten; the little boy I went crying to when someone made fun of me in elementary school; the one who copied my math homework through middle school and high school; the boy who knew all about my insecurities and my secrets no one else was aware of.  

I finally stop crying and my breathing goes back to normal after a few minutes, thanks to Matt’s presence and its power to ground me. 

“Will you tell me what happened now?” His face is worried, there’s sadness in his eyes and it irks me to know I am the cause of his apprehension.

So I tell him: I recount the last few months of my life, the ones where he wasn’t present exclusively for the fact that Hayden wanted me to stay away from him. I tell him about the anxiety I’ve been feeling, the fear of not meeting everyone’s expectations over me. I tell him about what happened tonight, how the pain I felt was so unbearable I needed to get away. And he listens, silently, at every word I speak. 

“I am so sorry, Matt, for how I treated you” I whisper, looking at the ground. I am too embarrassed to face him, because he always had a weird feeling about my ex-boyfriend and I never really listened to him. Embarrassed also for the fact that I let him go so easily, just for some stupid tantrum of an insecure guy.

He chuckles, and his hold on my hand tightens. 

“Don’t worry about it, I knew something like that could have happened, with an asshole like Hayden” I laugh at that, releasing a bit of the tension I accumulated tonight. 

“Are you here with your brothers? I haven’t seen them in so long, I miss them” I ask him, feeling ashamed once again and also needy of their company. Chris and Nick were a big part of my childhood as well. My bond with them is not as strong as the one I share with Matt, but the affection I feel for them it’s immense.  

“I left them at the entrance. They’re not very happy with me right now, since I forced them to come to this party. But I knew you were there and had to see you.” Matt smiles and gets up, urging me to do the same. I blink at his last words, but he doesn’t let me elaborate them cause he’s practically dragging me back to the house, his face now covered from my view, but I can notice a slight blush forming on his cheeks.

Turns out, Chris and Nick weren't mad at me either. Well, Nick tried to act tough at the beginning, but seeing my state and the murderous look Matt gave him, he stopped pretty quickly and gave me a warm hug, almost causing me to cry again. I just missed these guys so much, I can’t believe I went without them for three whole months.

We stay at the party for a bit longer, Chris trying his best to make me laugh and generally succeeding, even though some of his best jokes consist of burping in front of his brothers’ faces, causing punches and swears to fly around. 

Matt drives me home. The journey is quiet except for the music playing from the car stereo. He stops in front of his house first to let his brothers go home, and I frown at him. 

“I don’t want to hear them complaining because they’re tired or some shit” he explains to me, and I still look at him with a raised brow, so he just sighs. “Fine, I want to be with you for a while longer without them. Is it so hard to believe?” It is actually hard to believe for me right now. Not because of Matt, though. 

The sadness I felt earlier tonight has dissipated, but it’s not completely gone. My head is making a thousand thoughts and my insecurities have taken hold of me. I feel so unworthy of Matt’s care for me, when I did nothing for the past months but hurt him. 

He starts the engine and we’re on the road again. My eyes trail outside the window seat, mesmerized by the city lights. 

“You can tell me how you’re feeling, you know” Matt’s voice breaks my reverie, and I sigh.

“I just…” I start, eyes still not looking at him.“I don’t understand what I did wrong. I did everything he told me to do! For fuck’s sake, I stopped seeing you because he felt jealous. I guess I’m just trying to get some kind of closure, you know?” I’m rambling right now, but I don’t care. Matt never judged me before, and I need this, I need to tell someone what’s going on in my head, otherwise it will be a never ending circle of self pity.

He hums, listening intently to my words. I vomit all the insecurities that crept up upon me that evening, and without even realizing we arrive at my place.

Matt turns off the car, he unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of the vehicle. Confused, I follow his lead, coming out of the car almost the exact time he reaches me. I look up at him, expecting some kind of encouraging words towards me or even a little lecture. 

Instead, all I see is such adoration and love in his eyes that I almost have to look away, but before I do that, his arms encircle my shoulders and he pulls me against him, his warm chest a welcome caress against my cheek. I freeze, so unaccustomed to the sudden physical affection. But my body knows this feeling quite well, and it acts on its own. I hug him back, my arms encircling his waist and my head resting against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

His voice, muffled against my hair, trembles with a frantic plea. "Never again," he whispers. "Promise me, don't vanish like that. And don't believe that nonsense. You're not unworthy of love. You just happen to have chosen the wrong person to take it from." I can't muster the strength to argue with him; I simply shake my head, too weary to contradict his words. 

Matt moves his head away from my shoulder, his arms still around me. 

“I wish you’d see yourself the way I see you. Maybe you’d understand, then” I frown at him.

“How do you see me?” I’m not sure where the courage to ask that question comes from, but I have a feeling in my stomach that his answer might change everything for me. For us.

He smiles at me, his teeth showing. “Now it’s not the time or place to tell you. If you still want to know, ask me in a month or something” he steps back and goes to the driver seat, getting in the car without looking at me, while my head spins. What is that supposed to mean? My curiosity is killing me, I want to know what he means so badly, but I know him: if he’s made his mind up, he won’t tell me until he feels like the right time has come. 

I shake my head, the shadow of a smile on my face, and I turn, going towards my house. I hear the car’s engine starting again, and it’s only after I close the door behind me that Matt departs. 

Fine then, I’ll wait for him to tell me. Something to look forward to, maybe.

Part 2 will be published soon!

[novamariestark]

Safe & Sound - Tallahassee [Part 1]

Summary: You, a former high school teacher, now has to survive day to day after the world went to hell. There's nothing you wouldn't do to protect your 5 year old son and your teenage niece. Nothing.

Warnings: Brief mention of suicide, indirect murder (but they deserve it dw), slight suggestion "Men are animals" during an apocalypse, proofread but Casper's unfriendly cousin edits it after I post it 🤣

Word count: 2991

Fandom: Zombieland

Pairing: Future Tallahassee x Reader

It had been a long journey so far. A few months doesn’t seem so long but when every single day of those months is a never-ending fight for survival, it’s kinda draining.

How did this even happen? A few months ago, you were a teacher. The worst thing you had to deal with was grading homework. The biggest threat to your son was getting hit by a car. Now you constantly worry about keeping him safe and what would happen to him if something were to happen to you. He was still just your baby. Your innocent little Bear, who would not go to high school, who wouldn’t graduate. Instead, he has to live in constant fear even though he tries to be brave, you can still see the fear in his big brown eyes.

He had seen things. Things an 5-year-old should never see. The other member of your group had also seen things. Some a little more scarring than your son. Your niece. The second things went to shit, you packed up your essentials and got your son the hell out of there. You headed towards your sister’s to be with them but when you got there, it was too late. They had joined the army of the dead.

You did something you never thought you’d do. Killed your sister. And also, your brother-in-law. Sure, you had thought about smacking him and strangling him many times, but you never thought you’d actually swing a bat at his head multiple times. The only thing that offered you comfort was when you found your niece hiding in the attic.

She was shaking when you found her. Her cheeks were stained with wet lines, her eyes red and drooping slightly. You wrapped her in your arms and promised her it was going to be okay, even though you had no idea if it would be. She had only just turned sixteen. Before all of this, her biggest concerns were makeup, boys, and arguing with your sister about curfew. Now, she was forced to leave behind her childhood as well. Just like Bear.

The three of you had hit the road together, with nothing but the clothes on your backs and whatever supplies you could scrounge up. You couldn’t look at her for days without seeing your sister’s face—without seeing her like that. Like an animal who’s only thought was food. And you had put her down like an animal. You felt like her blood was stained on your hands, and it’ll never wash off. Never.

But you had to keep going. You didn’t have the luxury of falling apart anymore.

It wasn’t long before you encountered another group of survivors, about three weeks or so, however, they were the kind you never want to encounter. One thing that you had told yourself was that you would not allow yourself, or the kids to lose their humanity.

But what the hell are you supposed to do when a group of sick men want to “play” with your teenage niece? In your mind, they signed their own death warrants.

There were four of them, and it was clear they didn’t see you or her as people—just objects.

You told her to take Bear and wait in the car and they were very annoyed that you had sent her away, claiming they weren’t “done with her yet”

“Oh no, you’re done,” you corrected, but you meant in a completely different way. You reached into the waistband of your jeans to grab a gun you had scavenged from a car not long back. You raised it at them, and they just laughed at you like you were just a stupid girl.

“Now sweetheart, don’t wanna hurt yourself now do ya?” one of them asked, you aimed the gun lower, and shot him in the leg. Quickly, you shot the others in the leg. As soon as the bullet tore through their flesh, their smiles dropped as quick as their bodies.

You kept the gun trained on them as you backed away toward the car. As quick as you could before you changed your mind. You always told yourself you’d never kill a human, but what if there was a young girl travelling alone? What if they did something to her because you didn’t do this? But then again you weren’t the one killing them, were you? All you did was ring the dinner bell 4 times for any zombie within hearing distance. Did that count. Besides, leaving them to whatever zombies would come sniffing around felt like a fitting end for them. Turning into a piece of meat, just like how they looked at your niece.

Their mouthy leader writhed on the ground, screaming, sneering through the pain. “You’re gonna regret this!”

“No, I won’t,” you said a smirk appearing on your face, similar to the ones that they wore. You winked at them, “But you will.”

The leaves, branches and rocks crunch beneath your boots as you continue to back away, your finger still gently resting on the trigger in case any of them tried something. You finally reach the car, and get in. Your son and your niece, huddled up in the back seats.

“What if they follow us?” your niece asked, her arms still wrapped around your son to comfort him but also to comfort herself.

“They won’t, don’t worry,” you said, turning the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life, “They’re done,” you added as you began to drive off.

Had this world seeped into your brain? Was the inhumanity already taking over your body? Was evil coursing through your veins? These questions bounce around your mind as you drive, and drive. Towns, cities, states whizzing in just a blur. You only stop for the toilet and gas.

You had a destination. Your parents.

They lived in Fresno, California and you hoped that they were still alive. You had just under an hour left until you got there and it seemed the closer you got, the more your stomach started to churn. As though it was trying to tell you something.

When you got to your parents street, everything looked normal but it was eerily silent. No cars, no children playing in the street, no dogs barking. Nothing.

You told them both to stay in the car and keep their heads down. You closed the door as quietly as you could as not to alert anything that could be near. Your hand resting lightly on the gun in your waistband. The walk to the front door felt like an eternity. Each step feeling heavier than the last.

You reached for the door handle, twisting it softly until it uncoupled from the doorframe. The hinges creaked in protest, and the faint smell hit you immediately—a smell you had come to know all too well. Death. Maybe they just took out a zombie, you told yourself.

You called out to them softly.

Nothing.

"Mom? Dad?" You spoke a little louder, the hand that rested on your gun shaking slightly.

Still nothing.

You moved further into the house, heading towards their bedroom. You had a bad feeling. The front door was unlocked. They wouldn’t do that. So either they weren’t here or… they were gone.

The door was slightly ajar, leaving you enough room to peak through and see what you had been dreading. You stepped in fully and saw them. Your parents, lying in bed, hands clasped together.

You couldn’t hold it, you collapsed to the floor, gun tumbling out of your hand. You crawled towards the bed, and climbed up to sit beside them. From here, you could see what had happened. Your mother was bit, but your father had the strength to kill her before she turned but after he did, he took her hand and killed himself too.

You felt numb. They were gone too. You wanted nothing more than to be with them but you couldn’t. You had Bear and Blue Bell. They needed you. They depended on you. Their survival depended on you.

You wiped your tears and moved to grab your gun off the floor. You picked up a necklace and a watch from the table in their room. The watch you knew your father wanted Bear to have when he grew up, and the necklace something to remember your mother.

They’re okay you told yourself, they’re together. They’re at peace, not having to worry about this world anymore. At least that’s what you were going to keep telling yourself so you didn’t completely shut down.

As you walked out, you stopped by the spare bedroom, in there, was a teddy bear that Bear always slept with when he was there.

With one last look around your home away from home, you left. Closing the door, leaving it as untouched as possible. It was after all, the closest thing your parents would get to a grave.

As you walked back the car, you wiped your eyes, hoping to get rid of the evidence of your crying, but as you got in, Belle’s question told you that you had failed.

“They’re with mom now, aren’t they?”

You couldn’t speak, you just nodded and started the car. It was getting late, you needed to find a place to crash. There was no way you could sleep in that house.

You did have an idea. Since you were in California, why not crash in style.

“Ever heard of Bill Murray?” you asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Bear’s face scrunched up. “Who?”

“Who you gonna call?”

Bear’s eyes lit up, his face breaking into a big smile as he yelled, “Ghostbusters!”

You looked at Belle in the mirror and she gave you a small smile which you return.

It wasn’t long before you were driving down the winding road that led to the sprawling mansion you’d only seen in movies or on TV. The gates were open, rusting slightly—probably from neglect since everything went to hell. You hoped the place would be empty, but even if it wasn’t, there was a good chance Bill Murray wouldn’t mind. Hell, in a world like this, you doubted anyone would care anymore.

As you pulled up the long driveway, the mansion loomed ahead of you, grand and eerie against the backdrop of a setting sun. You parked the car and glanced back at Belle and Bear.

“Stay close,” you instructed, your hand sitting on the gun resting on your side. The three of you stepped out of the vehicle and approached the mansion. Bear clutched his teddy bear, his small hand gripping your sleeve, while Belle hovered closely at your side, her eyes scanning the enormous house in front of you.

You pushed the door open cautiously, revealing a spotless interior. The furniture looked untouched, and grand portraits lined the walls like sentries guarding the home. A soft laugh escaped your lips, barely audible.

“Welcome to Bill Murray’s house,” you said, your voice carrying a hint of disbelief, “I can’t believe it,”

Bear’s grip on your sleeve tightened, his cute little eyes darting around as he took in the space. You moved through the house, flicking on lights one by one. The mansion felt like it was frozen in time, completely untouched by the mess outside. Bill Murray’s face stared back from movie posters on the walls. Bear noticed one in particular and pointed at it, “Ghostbusters!”

As you stepped into the huge living room, the silence was broken by the soft padding of footsteps from the hallway. You froze. Belle stiffened beside you and Bear pressed against your side, his knuckles white around his teddy.

“Stay here,” you said as you moved in front of them and towards the door where the sound was coming from, your gun free and ready to fire.

From the shadows of the doorway emerged a familiar face. Bill Murray. He stood there, robe-clad, holding a glass of whiskey. His expression was surprisingly warm, as if he hadn’t just stumbled upon three strangers in his home.

“Well, this is a surprise.” His lips curled into a big smile, eyes flicking from you to the kids.

Your mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. You blinked, your brain stuck processing the sight before you.

Bill raised an eyebrow, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “So, you folks just passing through, or did you come to watch Ghostbusters?”

Bear held up the bear as if presenting it and yelled, "Ghostbusters!" His voice echoed through the room. You pressed a hand to your mouth, trying to stifle the laughter bubbling up, but it slipped out anyway. Across the room, Bill Murray’s face softened, and he let out a deep chuckle, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in… I thought it’d be empty. You know,” you rambled, you couldn’t believe that out of the small amount of survivors there could be in the world. One of them is Bill Murray.

“We can go,”

“Nonsense,” he said, “You look harmless enough,” he looked at the stuffed bear in your son’s hands and nodded to it, “Except the teddy bear, I’ll have to keep my eye on him,”

If anyone told you 3 months ago that you would be watching Ghostbusters with Bill Murray, you would have thought that they were drunk. But here you were, sitting in his personal cinema, munching popcorn and watching Ghostbusters. With Bill Murray.

It was the first time in a long time that your son and your niece were getting some kind of a normal childhood and to say you were happy was an understatement.

The only thing that could make this even weirder, was that Bill Murray actually dresses up as a zombie to go out and do things, like golf. and he did this quite regularly.

You had now been there about a week and he was perfectly fine with you staying there, you had thought he’d want you gone by the next day but no. Perhaps you were better company than his zombie friends.

What neither of you expected, was human visitors. One actually attacked Bill Murray, but in her defence, he was dressed as a zombie and moaning like one, so, kinda his own fault. Another was a huge fan if his reaction was anything to go by. He was quite attractive, but love was certainly not on your to do list.

But what definitely was not on your list, was wrapping up Bill Murray in a carpet and chucking him off a balcony. Don’t worry, you didn’t kill him. A nerdy nervous boy did. Again. Kinda Bill’s fault. Who would have thought that pretending to be a zombie and stumbling towards an extremely jumpy kid with a gun would end up with a gaping hole in his chest. Oh wait. You did.

You all looked at each other, wondering what happens next. I mean you were there first. You had no problem sharing as long as they weren’t complete assholes. Little Rock and Wichita seemed okay, Colombus seemed like he was going to be that annoying little brother that you couldn’t wait to move out and get away from and Tallahassee… Tallahassee seemed like he was a danger. To your heart. Less than two hours meeting the guy and your heart is already trying to punch it’s way out of your chest, every time he looks at you. Perhaps it was the lack of physical contact.

Ugh, why lie to yourself? You’re horny as hell and this sexy ass cowboy with the most sculpted muscles, possibly by taking down zombies. All you wanted were those arms wrapped around you. You shook your head before the thoughts could get any further and headed towards your room to calm yourself, however, it seemed fate had other plans, because who was lying on your bed? Legs dangling of the side, his shirt lifted slightly so you could see his v-line that you so desperately wanted to trace with your tongue.

“W-what are you doing in here?”

He lifted his head up to look at where the voice come from, “Lying down?” he said in the form of a question, a slight duh in his tone. I mean it was obvious what he was doing. Were you blind?

No you weren’t, and whilst yes that is an acceptable answer to the question you asked, it wasn’t what you meant, “This is my room,” you clarified, “Well, the one I’ve been staying in,”

“Oh,” he said, groaning as he sits up and gets off the bed, “Sorry,”

“It’s okay,” you whispered, avoiding looking him in the eyes. You looked anywhere and everywhere.

“Those your kids?” he asked, you didn’t think he actually cared, just trying to make conversation to get out of how awkward the situation felt to him.

“My son and my niece,” you responded, he nodded sadly and moved to leave the room, “I’m sorry,”

He stopped and turned to look at you, his eyes squinting as if he were searching for the reason for your apology, “Sorry?”

“That you had to go through that,” you added barely above a whisper. His eyes widened. No one else had figured it out and he hadn’t even told you his son’s name.

“How’d you…”

“Guess?” you finished for him, he nodded as an answer and you shrugged, “Your face when I said he was my son,”

“No one else has figured it out,”

“You mean the wimpy kid?” you asked, and a laugh escaped your lips, you knew you probably shouldn’t laugh but come on, you hadn’t laughed in a while and you freaking deserve it, “I don’t think he’s figured out puberty yet”

Then what followed was quite possible the sexiest sound you had ever heard. His laugh. But then again, you hadn’t heard his moans of pleasure.

Yet…

[A/N] 😁😁 @mariechristine00

[something-tofightfor]

Black Days 5: One More Time Around Might Do It

Pairing: Detective Tim Rockford x Female Reader

Word Count: 5,069

Rating: M (language, some suggestive comments)

Summary:  Your date with Tim means spending time alone - and out of the bedroom - with him. Will doing things backwards make it awkward between you?  

Author’s Note: I apologize for the delay in this getting posted - Marcus Pike took up residence in my brain and wouldn’t leave. But I think you’ll like this chapter.

Questions? Concerns? Wanna screech about Tim? You know where to find me.

Chapter title comes from "The Day I Tried To Live” by Soundgarden.

Masterlist / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 

(banner by @stealyourblorbos​)

When you showed up at Tim’s house the following day, the garage door was closed. Taking that as a sign that he wasn’t going to greet you the same way he had earlier, you parked your car and then headed for the front door, a bottle of wine held in one hand. 

As you waited on the covered patio, your nervousness grew. It’s stupid. It’s just dinner. Before you could worry too much, the door opened and Tim greeted you. The man’s hair was damp and slicked back, his outfit a faded t shirt and equally worn jeans that fit well in all the right places. And I decided not to go casual… shit.

Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, but instead of letting yourself get sidetracked, you held the bottle up and wrinkled your nose. “I know you said you don’t drink much wine, but there were about 400 options for beer. I didn’t know which one you’d like best, and I didn’t want to be late and wrong, so… here.” He grinned as he reached for the bottle, his fingers closing over yours where they held the neck. “I picked a basic red, because you said you were making Italian, and…” 

You trailed off as he studied the wine, the man’s focus on the label. One corner of his mouth twitched, almost like he was fighting back a smile. “This is perfect. Thank you.” Tim nodded up at you, gesturing for you to come in. “C’mon in. Food should be done in about 20 minutes.” 

The scent of his cooking hit you as soon as you entered the front hall, a quiet hum of appreciation caught in your throat at the discovery. “It smells incredible, Tim. I can’t wait to try it.” The air was fragrant with the scent of herbs and tomato, your mouth watering as you caught a whiff of something yeasty, too. “I’m going to start associating your house with food if you’re not careful.” 

“Maybe that’s my plan.” He paused by the refrigerator, opening it and setting the bottle onto a shelf. “Food and big windows. What more could you want?” You leaned against the counter as he turned to face you, eyes roving over your body. Oh, I like him looking at me like that. “Y’ know, you’re making me feel like I should have put something else on.” He held out a hand, gesturing to your outfit. “You look great, and I -”

His compliment made your cheeks burn, the heat rising to your face much quicker than you’d thought it would. Play it cool. Don’t embarrass yourself here. “You have to wear dress clothes for work all the time. Why would you not want to be comfortable on a day off?” Arms crossed, you shrugged. “And please don’t change. I’m a big fan of you in that t-shirt.” That made him smile, and as he turned away and toward the stove - where two pots and a pan were simmering - you spoke again. “No glasses today?”

“I wear contacts.” He picked up a wooden spoon and stirred something in one of the pots, his back toward you. “You usually see me in glasses because after ten hours of staring at a computer screen or a crazy wall or being on location, I’m ready to claw out my eyeballs and can’t get the lenses out soon enough.” Makes sense. “Depending on how long you stay tonight, you might just get to see that first hand.” 

“Oh, a live look at the inside story?” Pushing off the counter, you moved to stand behind him, one hand rising to press against the center of his back as you looked over his shoulder. “That’d be lucky for me.” You contemplated saying his name and kissing him when he turned to question you, but instead of doing that, you just pressed a quick one to the cotton that covered the back of one shoulder before stepping away. Don’t want to spook him. “I do have a question, though.” 

Tim shifted his weight, turning at the waist to look at you again. “Go for it.” You gave him a few seconds to wait, pressing your lips together like you were in thought. 

“Where do I put my appetizer order in? I like to have a snack before I eat, and -” He laughed, lifting the spoon from the pan and then cupping a hand beneath it as he brought it toward you. 

“No appetizer here, but you can definitely taste this and tell me if you think it needs anything else.” There was no pause as you opened your mouth and sampled what he offered, the sauce warm and flavorful against your tongue. Holy shit, that’s good. “Well?”

“Doesn’t need anything.” Licking your lips clean as he set the spoon back down, you pointed at the pot. “But you’d know better than I would, right?” Tim nodded, using one hand to turn the burner down slightly. 

“I would.” He reached out, taking your face between his hands and tilting it to meet his as he lowered his mouth to yours. “Guess I should probably taste it, too.” Oh. Oh, he’s… The kiss was short and not at all probing, more a press of your lips together than anything else, but it was meaningful, at least to you. 

Not only was it the man initiating a kiss, a sign that he was comfortable with both your presence and your personality, it was intimate, too, more like a follow through on an inside joke than anything else. And I like that. “Tim? You -”

“Hmm.” He was still touching you, your head angled back. “Think I might need a second taste.” You leaned in first. That time, your lips were parted, Tim taking advantage of that fact and trailing over the lower one with his tongue before he pushed it between them, moving a half step closer as he kissed you. 

You sighed into it, hands going to his waist and settling there, but before you could get too comfortable, Tim gently pushed you away, a half smile on his face. “That was smooth, detective Rockford. I’ve gotta give you that.” 

“I know.” He winked, thumb sweeping over your cheek one more time before he stepped away and turned back to the stove. “I think it needs a little more garlic. Can’t even taste it.” That made you laugh, the smile on your face growing wider as you watched his back, the muscles rippling beneath his t-shirt. “I thought we could eat on the patio, since it’s nice out. If you want to get plates and all that, you can go ahead.” 

Murmuring that you would, you headed for the cabinet he pointed to, opening it and grabbing the necessary dishes. It might have only been your second time in his house, but it was clear that you and Tim were already comfortable with each other in spaces as small as the kitchen and bedroom. And that’s either going to be a really good thing for me… or a really bad one. 

— 

Dinner on the patio with Tim was the right decision. 

Both of you were relaxed and open, trading questions and answers about yourselves and your lives in a way that hadn’t seemed appropriate the previous night in his bed or even at the diner. Those had been conversations, but dinner felt like a date, even though you hadn’t reiterated that  that’s what it was. 

The way you were smiling at each other around the rims of your wine glasses coupled with the way Tim casually reached over to touch your hand on the tabletop while he spoke only made it more apparent. And so did the things you talked about, Tim steering the conversation easily, though he didn’t force any part of it. He’s good. He’s really good. 

“If I didn’t know any better, Tim, I’d think that you were interrogating me right now.” You sipped from your glass, pushing your empty plate away from you. “Do you even realize you’re doing it?” 

“Sort of.” He drew his bottom lip between his teeth, the furrow in his brow deepening. “I’m sorry. You’re not a suspect or a person of interest, or -” At your immediate reaction, Tim grinned, rolling his eyes and leaning closer. “Don’t look at me like that. You know what I mean.”

“I’m very interesting.” Finishing your drink, you lifted your hand and twirled it in the air. “So interesting in fact, that a renowned detective has spent the last hour and a half asking me questions and was so engrossed in the conversation that he didn’t even realize that his drink has been empty for most of it.” You gestured to his glass and he looked down, eyes widening.

“You got me there.” Tim blew out a long breath and reached for the half-full wine bottle, pouring more into his glass. “Good catch,” He held the bottle out to you and you nodded, angling yours so that he could pour more into it. “I’m glad we did this.” He sipped the wine, still eyeing you as he swallowed. “Really glad.” 

“Me too.” Averting your eyes, you set the wine down, nodding. “There’s something that I wanted to ask you, though.” You’d gone back and forth over whether or not to bring it up again if he didn’t, and had decided that since things were going well, it was the right time. Because if I want to see him again, or take this further, I need to know. “Whatever this is with us, I’m assuming that at some point, we’d leave your place and go out - like we were going to go to dinner tonight?” He nodded, still watching you intently. 

“Yeah, I’d like to do that. Go out, grab a drink. Get some dinner, maybe see a movie.” Tim cocked his head to the side. “That a problem?” It was the furthest thing from a problem, and it filled you with hope. You and Tim were nowhere near a bed, or close to heading to bed. Aside from a few kisses and touches, things had stayed decidedly platonic between the two of you. For now. And…he seems alright with that. He said your name, pulling your attention back to him. 

“My ex still lives close by, and I know Sacramento’s a pretty big place, but he doesn’t really … he doesn’t really go far. So with my luck, we’d probably run into him. I guess I’m just wondering if you’d be alright with that. I don’t know that he’d say anything or do anything stupid, but I … I don’t know. I just…” 

Tim reached over the table and took your hand again, linking his fingers with yours. “Even if you and I were just friends and hadn’t done any of this,” he started, indicating the table between you. “Or you hadn’t spent the night, I still wouldn’t let anyone give you shit.” He squeezed your hand, eyes locked with yours. “If you and I are ever out together and see that asshole, it’ll be fine. I promise you.” 

You were stunned into silence, a tiny breath sucked in between your lips the only noise you made. He means it. “I just didn’t want you to get caught off guard, Tim. An ex is the last thing anyone wants to deal with, especially when you’re just getting to know someone.” Tim watched you closely for a few seconds and then nodded, a determined look in his eyes. Interesting. 

He let go of your hand and stood, beginning to gather the plates. When you stood to help him he thanked you quietly, holding the door open for you to step back into the house ahead of him. When you reached the sink, you turned the water on, reaching for a sponge, but the man caught your wrist after setting what he carried onto the counter, murmuring your name. “You don’t need to do that. It can wait. I’ve got it.” 

He was close behind you, the span of the man’s chest firm against your shoulders. Despite yourself, you leaned back into it. “You cooked, Tim. The least I can do is -” It was his turn to kiss you from behind, but he didn’t stop with the back of your shoulder. Instead, Tim turned his face inward, following the line of your throat up until he reached your jaw. There, he parted his lips to graze it with his teeth, urging you to tilt your head. 

You did, closing your eyes and sighing when his mouth drifted higher, his hold on your wrist tightening. “Turn the water off.” He spoke into your ear, the four words uttered in a low tone that made you shiver. But you reached for the handle, cutting off the flow. Tim smiled against your skin, and when you turned your head toward him, he was waiting. 

That kiss built - but it wasn’t slow. It only took a few moments for you to turn, pressing your lower back into the counter’s edge as Tim inched closer. He let go of your wrist but slid his hand down to lace his fingers between yours, his other hand gripping the counter just to the left of your hip. 

He was caging you in in front of the sink, the movement of his mouth against your lips constant. When you raised a hand to slide it up his side, he nodded twice, encouraging you. As he slipped his tongue into your mouth, you curled your fingers against the fabric, humming your appreciation. Tim’s hand slid along the edge of the counter until his palm made contact with your body, too, the touch sending heat through the thin material covering your skin. 

Then, it was his turn to make noise - a quiet groan from deep in his throat that you felt through his kiss. The movement of his hand only stopped when it was pressed against the center of your lower back, urging you away from the counter and toward him, though you had almost nowhere to go. But that means he wants me closer. 

After giving his hand one more squeeze, you let it go. That hand rose to the back of Tim’s head so that you could thread your fingers through his hair, the freshly washed strands curling against your palm. Is it always going to be like this with him?

“Wait a minute.” He inhaled deeply, backing off enough so that when you opened your eyes, you could look into his. “This wasn’t how I wanted this night to go.” What? His tongue flicked out over his lips, Tim’s head shaking back and forth slowly. “I -”

“You started it.” Rolling your eyes, you tugged on his hair before you let go, heart still racing. “I was just trying to wash your dishes, and -” Pushing him gently away, you narrowed your eyes. “And I was rudely distracted by someone’s hands and mouth all over me.” 

“Oh, you were?” Tim cocked an eyebrow, one hand going to his hip. “All over you? Because…” He gestured at you with his other hand. “Because I’m pretty sure you and I have a different definition of all over.” You had to laugh at that, giving him one more look before you turned back to the sink, reaching for the hot water knob. “What are you doing?” 

“The dishes. The sauce will dry out on the plates, and -” 

“No. Honestly, come on.” Tim’s hands went back to your waist, pulling you backwards and away from the counter. “Leave it. That’s what the dishwasher is for.” You let him lead you, and when you were back in the living room, Tim said your name, uncertainty in his voice. “I’m going to be honest with you, alright?” 

“Haven’t you been this whole time?” You tried for teasing, but at the look on his face, you stopped, mouth open. Ok, not the time. But what’s going on? “Ok. Honesty. Go for it.” 

“I planned on asking if you wanted to watch a movie after dinner, but if we stay here, and turn the lights off?” He pointed at the couch, shaking his head. “I might just end up bringing our definitions of all over onto the same page.” You had to laugh at that, lowering your head as you nodded. Well it’s too bad that he doesn’t want that, because I wouldn’t mind. “So how about this.” 

“Hmm?” You met his gaze again, waiting. How about what? 

“There’s a place I think you’d like that’s pretty close to here. Let me take you out for dessert?” It was the last thing that you’d expected him to say, but you were agreeing before he’d even finished speaking, head moving up and down enthusiastically. “Perfect. Let me get my shoes on, and we can go.” 

— 

Fifteen minutes later, you were putting your car into park and attempting to hold back a laugh. Of course. Of course this is where he’d choose to go. Exiting your car, you turned to look at where Tim parked, the man crossing the parking lot toward you, arms swinging by his sides. “A donut place, Tim? Isn’t it a little cliché?” 

His smile widened, the man holding his hands out and shrugging. “What can I say? They’re really good.” He pointed at the sign. “And because they’re open 24 hours, no matter when I stop in, they have shit available.” He reached for your hand, waiting until you took it to continue. “We can go somewhere else if you want, but -”

“No. By all means, Tim, I’d love to see what you snack on when you choose to spend your late night hours away from my diner.” Grinning, you headed for the door. “Come on. Let’s get some donuts.” 

And you did - ordering a half dozen between the two of you, plus a pair of frozen, fruity drinks. You sat at one of the tables to eat your dessert, the donut box open so that you could choose between them as you talked. 

Conversation was still easy, you and Tim going more in depth about things you’d covered during dinner, pausing every so often to take a bite of your pastries or a sip of your drinks. You were comfortable around him, comfortable opening up to him, and even though the topic of your ex didn’t come up again, you would have been happy to tell him more and explain yourself. But it’s not necessary right now. 

You were surprised at how busy the donut shop was, and even more surprised when the employees behind the counter greeted people by name - the same way that they’d done with Tim as the two of you stepped through the door. “Is this what you do, Tim?” You took a bite, chewing for a few seconds as you eyed him. “Get in good with people that can give you sweets? Get that special treatment for when you stop in during or after a shift?” 

“It’s just a great coincidence.” He grinned. “And you have no idea how much driving I do, so I notice a lot of places like this - and like your restaurant.” Tim took another bite, swallowing before he spoke again. “And I always pay. I can’t help it if someone throws in an extra donut or a ridiculous amount of whipped cream with my key lime pie.” 

You rolled your eyes at his words, finishing the last of your drink. That means we’re going to leave soon. We can’t just sit here all night. The thought made you sad, especially since you and Tim hadn’t talked about when you’d see each other next. Might as well ask. “So.” You reached for another donut, tearing off a small piece and popping it into your mouth. “If you want to go out again, maybe you should let me plan the next night?” 

“You want to make plans?” He leaned back, reaching up to rub beneath his eye. “Got anything in mind?” 

“Not yet.” You shrugged. “I’d need to have an idea about when it would be, you know? I’d plan differently if we had a weekend afternoon than I would a weeknight or even a weekend night.” Tim was quiet for long seconds, his dark eyes focused on you. “Tim?” 

“I’d really like that.” He leaned in, one hand rising so that he could brush his thumb over your lower lip, pulling it back and then popping it into his mouth, the man smiling around the digit. “You had some icing right there.” It took everything in you not to react with movement, but there was no way Tim didn’t catch the change in your eyes, both of them widening in surprise. “Yep. You can plan our next date.” 

“Great.” The prospect of getting to make a plan that someone was looking forward to excited you, and even though you didn’t want to betray just how excited, you wanted Tim to understand that it was meaningful. Especially since I know how he feels about dating. “You’ll just have to let me know when you’ve got a few hours free.” 

That was the first time Tim’s smile faltered, the man lowering his head and sighing. “I’m not sure when that’s going to be.” When he looked up again, you saw disappointment etched into his features. “I wasn’t kidding when I said today’s my last official day off for a while. I’m on call for the next couple weeks on my off days, so I can’t promise anything.” 

“Well that sucks.” Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “But I understand.” You wanted to add something, to make a joke or to lighten the situation, but nothing came to mind. “Hopefully you’ll still stop in the diner to say hi if you have time.” 

“Of course I will.” He crossed his arms over his chest, nodding. “It’s not like you aren’t going to hear from me, but I’d hate to have you plan something and then get a call during whatever it is.” I get it. It’s disappointing, but I get it. “You could spend the night again tonight if you wanted to, no strings.” 

You drummed your fingers on the table, stunned at his suggestion. “I don’t think I should make it a habit of sleeping in your bed, Tim.” I can’t get used to it.  “No matter how well I slept, and especially on days when I work the next day.” He looked confused and so you continued, finally finding the right place to lighten the mood. “If I sleep in until after noon again, I’d get fired, and then I’d be screwed.” 

“Interesting choice of words.” He brought the straw to his lips and finished his drink, setting the empty cup down and then pushing it toward the center of the table. “But I understand.” 

In the silence that followed, you glanced upward and saw that it was nearly ten. You were unable to hide your wince at the sight, a pang of sadness striking in its intensity. I don’t want to go home, even though I have to. “I should get going, Tim. Even if I can’t sleep, I like to stretch out on my couch and zone out to the TV.” 

You knew that you’d be up late that night no matter what - replaying the kisses in your mind, along with everything you’d said to each other and the way he’d reacted to your presence. But at least at home, I can do it in private. “Alright.” He gestured at you with one hand. “Can I at least walk you to your car?” 

You agreed, and moments later, the two of you were heading out into the parking lot, Tim carrying the box of remaining donuts. 

He was close, almost to the point of your arms brushing with each step he took. I don’t mind at all. You unlocked your door and then tucked your keys back into your bag, turning to face him. “Thank you for dinner. And for donuts.” You jutted your chin out toward the building. “I’ll have to come back here sometime.” 

“Glad you liked it.” He reached for your back door, opening it and setting the donut box down. “Go ahead and take those. I probably won’t be home enough for the next couple days to eat ‘em.” You thanked him, watching as Tim stepped back in front of you and then put both hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. I bet that’s how he looks when he’s working cases. “I meant what I said, though. If you ever need a good night’s sleep, I’m only a phone call away.” 

“But you can’t … you don’t know when you’re off.” Frowning, you leaned back against the side of your car. “How would that work?” Tim ran a hand through his hair, never breaking eye contact. 

“We’ll figure that out when and if it comes up, but I think…” He stepped closer, the overhead lighting in the lot casting shadows over some of his face and making the rest of it look more angular. And handsome. “I think a lot of your trouble sleeping is just you being in that apartment, and even more of it is your bed.” You hadn’t thought of that, but it made sense. “So if that’s the case, then just giving you a place to sleep for a few hours might be an upgrade.” 

“A few hours? You mean when you’re not there?” He cocked his head to the side, waiting. “But that doesn’t make any sense. We barely know each other, I couldn’t… I wouldn’t feel comfortable -”

“Then I guess we need to get to know each other better, don’t we.” It wasn’t a question, but you answered anyway, pushing off of the car and stepping into Tim’s arms, your head turned so that you could press your cheek against his shoulder. He hugged you back immediately, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “We’ll get you back on a normal sleeping schedule, I promise.” 

“Yeah, Tim. At least one of us should be well-rested.” He laughed then, saying your name and urging you to step back. “I had a good time tonight, even though we didn’t finish that conversation from dinner.” I wish it wasn’t ending. I wish we’d stayed at your place earlier. I wish we could go back now. “Thank you for inviting me.” 

“I know we didn’t. But I didn’t want that to be the last thing we talked about tonight, if that’s alright?” It took a second but you nodded in agreement, hoping that he could see the gratitude in your eyes. Because it’s there. He was stroking your arms, his hands running up and down both of them in a slow and steady rhythm. “I had a good time, too.” His eyes dropped to your mouth and then rose slowly, lips parting before he spoke. “Can I k-”

“You sure can.” You moved before he did, closing the distance between you and kissing him again. It couldn’t get that deep in the public lot - you knew that for a fact - but if it was going to be the last time you got to kiss Tim for a while, you wanted to make the most of it. 

Both arms went around his neck, and he wrapped his around your waist, pulling you closer. 

You weren’t one for PDA normally. But with Tim, it felt different - almost exciting - and so you let it continue, the man probing gently into your mouth, his kiss no longer wine-tinged and instead sweet, some of the tangy flavor of the fruity drink lingering on his tongue and combining with yours. “I could do that all night.” He wrinkled his nose before pressing one final kiss to the corner of your lips, his shoulders slumping. “Fuck.” 

You had to laugh at that, stepping backwards and still looking at Tim, the man’s chest rising and falling rapidly as he fought to catch his breath. “Maybe eventually we’ll find out if that’s true.” 

That got a laugh out of him and moments later, you joined, doubling over as the sound got louder from both of you. Good. This is good. It feels right. “Nah. Not maybe.” No, definitely. He backed away, one hand sliding into his front pocket, the man shaking his head back and forth. “Let me know when you make it home, alright? I know we’re going the same way, but…” 

You assured him you would, and then Tim stepped closer again, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek. “Goodnight, Tim. Good luck with everything at work.” 

“Same to you.” He straightened up, his shoulders going back. “I’ll call you soon.” 

You didn’t know when soon would be, but you believed Tim nonetheless. And on the short drive home, Tim’s headlights shining into your car from behind, you couldn’t stop smiling. Tonight was great. This is … this is going better than I expected. 

He gave a short beep of his horn as you took your exit, your eyes following his SUV as it continued toward the next one. Your fingers tightened on the steering wheel the closer you got to home, and his words echoed in your head - that he thought the apartment was the main issue, and the bed made things worse. Maybe I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. 

You parked in your carport and then got out of your car, reaching into the back seat for the box of donuts before heading for your front door. It was a little bit of a walk, and you cautiously looked around as you moved - out of habit. There’s nothing here. It’s just the parking lot. 

Telling yourself that worked until you reached the sidewalk in front of your building. At the sound of a car door slamming, you turned around just in time to see a flash from across the street, causing you to freeze in your tracks. 

What was that? Squinting into the darkness, you waited, trying to see if anyone - or anything - was moving from that direction. But there’s nothing. Just parked cars. It must have been headlights from the street reflecting on something. 

You shook your head quickly and then turned back to your door, reaching for your keys. By the time you’d texted Tim to let him know you were settled for the night, the flash had all but faded from your memory. 

—

Tag lists coming soon! 

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

The Angels Are Not Ready For You Pt. 1

Joel Miller X F!Reader

Joel couldn’t let Ellie know things were going catastrophically, lest he have her start worrying even more. Shit, Joel was most likely going to end up staying awake to make sure you didn’t die throughout the night. Then again it wouldn’t be the first time someone had died on Joel’s watch. a/n:I've had this fic in my docs for MONTHS, and honestly it might be one of my personal favorites, as always feedback is much appreciated! warnings:mentions of violence, gore, near death experiences, blood, mentions of stab wounds, if i missed anything please let me know!

You were running, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you tried to escape being murdered by the goddamn teenager that managed to get the upper hand on you. It wasn’t as if you were acting like an idiot when the two of you crossed paths, she just happened to have a better knife. The wound in your side had been bleeding profusely, and if you didn’t make it back to your safe zone you would surely be dying on the side of the road. She’d managed to get all of the food you scavenged, over three months worth of food absolutely gone in the blink of an eye because you were too stupid. The blood loss was suddenly making you woozy, shit this meant you wouldn’t be able to keep going unless you finally took a look at the wound.

“Just gotta patch myself up, then I can keep going,” You had originally been running because of hunters nearby, but getting stabbed because a kid got the better of you really took the cake for shittiest day imaginable.

You turned towards one of the closest houses, hoping and praying there weren’t any clickers inside roaming around the barren bones of it. Luck seemed to finally be on your side as you stepped inside and it was completely silent. Hunters tended to stalk houses like this which made hiding from them even harder. Dropping your bag onto the floor you slowly peeled up your shirt grimacing at how sticky your shirt had become. This was how you were going to die, not by a clicker or a hunter but by a kid looking to steal your food.

“Shit,” Blood was pouring down your side, soaking into the waist of your jeans as you tried and failed to slow the bleeding.

What if the girl was with those hunters and they were now on the way to find you so they could finish you off? It wouldn’t be a quick and painless death, there was no way any man would willingly let you live without causing some of the most horrific pain to your body first. God this day couldn’t get any damn worse. With a grunt and a drawn out sigh you bandaged up the wound as best you could given the circumstances. If you could keep it from getting infected over the next few days you would be fine, just need to ride out the worst of the pain. 

Ellie wasn’t sure how Joel would react to seeing the pack of food she’d stolen from one of the hunters, considering how she’d managed to snag it while the other person was struggling to gain their footing. They were making their way back to Tommy’s compound to see if there was any chance they would be allowed to stay. There wasn’t a doubt in Ellie’s mind that Tommy wouldn’t welcome them with open arms, the brothers had gone too long without seeing one another for things to end badly.

“Hey, I managed to find some food earlier, should be enough to feed us for a while,” Ellie wasn’t going to mention how she got it, lest Joel freak out about her nearly getting killed by someone.

Joel’s head snapped up at the mention of food, it had been nearly a week since the pair had been able to eat anything remotely filling so the promise of food was a godsend. They could settle down to eat something and make the rest of the trek to Tommy’s place. It was still at least another ten miles before they reached the compound, and heading out on a full belly was much better than an empty one.

“Why don’t we find somewhere to make camp for the night and we’ll eat, that way we can keep guard in case,” Joel was looking around at the surrounding buildings, surely there was something closed off enough where they could sleep.

Ellie pointed over to one of the abandoned houses that was nearby, the windows hadn’t been broken which was a good sign that no infected were inside. He nodded his head and they both headed off to inspect the building thoroughly. There was nothing worse than assuming you were safe and having some asshole sneak up on you. There hadn’t been many instances on the way back to Jackson, something Joel was thankful for every day they traveled. Joel went into the house first, gun held tight in his right hand while his left held onto the flashlight.

He was about to yell back towards Ellie, to let her know that it was safe inside and there weren’t any hunters or infected hanging around. That was until he caught sight of a woman huddling down in the kitchen. Shit that meant the hungers were outsmarting him and nearly able to get the jump on both he and Ellie without either of them realizing til it was too late. He’d have to take care of them without Ellie realizing what he was up to.

Tiptoeing out towards the kitchen Joel rounded the kitchen island, gun drawn high as he stared down at the woman by his feet. His throat seemed to tighten, there was no way in hell that you were sitting in front of him, hand clutching your side as you stared back at him. Ellie apparently had gotten annoyed with Joel being too quiet and made her presence known. Your head whipped to where she’d stopped, fear was written all over your face. Had the two of you met and Joel was unaware?

“Please, just let me go,” You pushed away from the pair, ignoring the searing pain in your side as you stared back at the man you’d loved so long ago.

“Hey, we’re not gonna hurt ya, why don’t you come back with us?” Joel knelt down, holding out his left hand, the right currently held back towards Ellie so she wouldn’t come any closer.

Neither Ellie, nor Joel could say anything before you were off the floor and out the back door. You were determined to get somewhere safe, somewhere you could hide without the fear of being murdered. Joel didn’t hesitate to take off after you, yelling your name as you ran into a nearby building. Joel was internally cursing his knees for being so weak as he took off after you, he needed to catch up to you before you reached the school. That place was crawling with clickers, and the occasional stalker in the empty building.

“Y/N!” Joel halted to a stop the moment his body slammed into the doors you’d managed to slip through. 

There were no less than five clickers standing around the open gym in front of him, shit there was no way either of you were going to survive in this room for very long. Ellie nearly slammed into his back, stopping just seconds before colliding against the older man. Joel could just barely make out your silhouette, your hand was still clutching your side, your skin stained an ugly red. There was something about your face that brought back memories he’d thought were long since buried. Ellie was already making her way over to you, stilling in place whenever a clicker even so much as glanced towards the two of you. 

Joel wanted to yell at her that this was something beyond reckless and the three of you needed to get out of there as soon as possible. They would be much safer where it was easier to see their enemies, and right now that wasn’t the damn case. Tears were streaming down your face as Ellie finally reached where’d been trying to hide. She didn’t say a word, simply held a finger up to her lips before turning back towards Joel and making her way back. You followed slowly behind her, making sure to avoid anything on the floor that would give you both away. Joel had been holding his breath the entire time, afraid that if he breathed too hard it would alert every single clicker.

Joel held the doors as you and Ellie made your exit, he let go of the doors slowly to avoid them clanging together and gathering the attention of the clickers. Had there been hunters inside he’d have done this differently and let the doors slam loud enough to make sure no one else made it out alive. That wasn’t the current case though, and Joel wasn’t as heartless as he made himself out to be.

“Please let me go, you can have the fucking food,” Your hands had begun to shake uncontrollably, this was the beginning of the end for you.

“Food? Wait, Ellie is this who you got the food from?” Joel spun around to stare down the teenager.

“I thought she was with those hunters!” Ellie threw her hands up, refusing to take responsibility for protecting herself.

Joel could understand where she was coming from, though it didn’t settle the pit that was currently lodged in his stomach. He turned back to where you were trying, and struggling, to keep yourself upright. You’d clearly lost a lot of blood if the amount spread across your torso was any indication. He wouldn’t have much time to get you stitched up if they continued to wait any longer.

“We have a camp nearby, at least let me patch you up,” Joel wasn’t sure you’d recognized him, you hadn’t mentioned anything since he yelled your name earlier.

“I’m really sorry about stabbing you, it’s been a long year and I wasn’t sure I could trust you,” Ellie didn’t apologize easily, not after what happened at the hospital.

Joel hadn’t wanted to tell her the truth, to keep that lie buried so deep inside his chest it would never see the light of day again, unfortunately that was never the case. Unfortunately life had another idea when it came to Joel’s life and happiness. Ellie hadn’t spoken to him for months after she found out, blaming Joel for taking away her choice in the matter. Things were still tense, but at least the pair of them could have a civil conversation without the other lashing out. Unfortunately that didn’t seem to be the case with the three of you sitting together in a circle, Ellie was watching Joel like a hawk.

“I always knew you’d find a way to survive in this hellhole we call our new normal,” You didn’t give any fight when Joel wrapped his arm around you.

“I could say the same thing about you, you always refused to back down no matter what it took,” Joel had thought of you all the time, wondering if you had managed to survive the way he had.

Had you joined a group of hunters, or were you one of the lucky people that traveled alone to attract less attention? How could he even bring up the things he’d done in his past knowing he’d left you behind, breaking off that bond like it meant absolutely nothing to him. The two of you had met in the Boston QZ a few years after Joel had arrived, Tommy running off to join the fireflies like a damn moron. He couldn’t fault his brother for that though, he wanted to make a difference in the world.

“I left the QZ a few months after you did, they were killing so many innocent people and I just couldn’t keep wondering if I’d be the next victim,” You’d watched so many people you once called friends be murdered in the streets, it was sickening.

Joel kept his mouth shut, he couldn’t imagine how much worse the QZ could get after witnessing the horrors he had for so long. Children meant absolutely nothing to the Fedra soldiers, the bodies turning into ash by the end of the day. He thought of Sarah each and every time he picked up a body that was too small to be burned, her body still buried in Texas. You’d mentioned your brother once or twice to Joel, quickly changing the subject after a few brief words. Kids were always going to be a sore topic that no one wanted to touch, and now with him taking care of Ellie he kept that box sealed tight.

“We’re actually heading back to see my brother, he’s got himself a nice little compound about ten miles west,” Joel wasn’t even sure you could make it another hundred yards in your condition, but dammit he wasn’t about to lose someone else he’d cared about.

“How’s he doing? Haven’t seen him since he took off after Marlene gave him that ultimatum,” You were resting almost all of your weight against Joel’s side, fingers barely grasping onto the fabric of his shirt.

“He’s doing pretty well for himself all things considered, I’ll make sure the two of you can catch up,” Joel ignored the flutter in his stomach, thinking about you coming back to the compound with him and Ellie.

Ellie was oddly quiet beside you and Joel, hands tucked into the pockets of her hoodie as if she was afraid to speak up anymore. Joel knew she was simply trying to protect herself, lord knows they’d had to do it more often than either of them were proud of. Joel was silently thankful she never had to witness what he’d done at the hospital, it was either him or them. What if Ellie was going to tell you everything he’d done in the last few months? Killing anyone who so much as tried to step on his toes. Would you forgive him for his past actions, or would you realize what a monster he truly was deep down?

“Joel, I think we need to stop for the night,” Joel wanted to ask why Ellie seemed so nervous before he realized why, you were dead weight against him, legs dragging as he stumbled towards the safe house.

“Shit, Ellie go ahead and make sure the house is clear,” Time was running out and goddamnit he wasn’t about to bury someone else.

Reaching down to hoist you into his arms Joel’s anxiety began to rise, your breathing was shallow and harsh. He’d known about what happened but how deep had Ellie cut you? Maybe once they got back to Tommy’s he could see if there was a nurse, or a doctor to help. He wasn’t as spry as he’d once been, and right now he was struggling to even carry you to the house. Shit, this was going to be a long damn day and Joel wasn’t ready to deal with any of the consequences right now.

“It’s clear!” Ellie knew that any type of noise would attract the wrong kind of attention, even if Joel was beyond caring at this point he knew better than to yell back.

Joel laid you down onto the couch the moment everyone was inside, checking over the wound that hadn’t started to clot. He ripped open his pack, reaching for a rag to help staunch the blood that was slowly dripping down your side. Ellie was silently freaking out behind him, gathering up anything she could that could help. Joel could only hope that Ellie had managed to miss any vital organs when she stabbed you.

“C’mon, see if you can wake her so we can get some food and water in ‘er,” Joel would deny any accusation that he’d begun to panic, Joel Miller did not panic.

“I’m really sorry Joel,” Her hands were shaking almost violently, the same girl who could handle a rifle almost perfectly was scared.

Joel didn’t put any of his attention towards Ellie, there wasn’t anything he could say without sounding angry. He’d done enough emotional damage to the teenager as it was, right now they needed to focus on making sure you were alright. Blood was soaking through the rag faster than Joel could stop it. He’d lost so many people, Sarah, Tess, Frank and Bill, had nearly lost Ellie more times than he’d been able to keep track of.

“C’mon baby, I know you can keep fighting,” Joel refused to look at his hands, the way your blood was caked between the lines of his fingers.

“Let me stitch her up, it’ll stop the bleeding for now,” Ellie was by his side in a matter of seconds, startling him for a brief moment before his eyes locked on her.

It would be a risky move to take the pressure off your wound, but without closing the wound you’d surely bleed out before they could help you. Joel slowly lifted the rag frowning at how big the wound seemed to be. Ellie must’ve snuck a new knife the last time they’d been able to stock up on supplies. It had been a near jackpot with how much they’d been able to grab and throw into their packs. Food had been the only issue when it came to their adventure back to Tommy’s commune, and right now he wasn’t sure the food Elle had attempted to steal from you was worth it. Back to the point at hand, making sure you didn’t bleed out while Ellie stitched up your wound. She’d had to stitch Joel back when he was stabbed last winter, taking care of him to make sure he didn’t succumb to the warm embrace of death.

Your skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat, hands shaking slightly as you laid otherwise limp against the couch. The next best thing would be to get some medicine and food in you, the wound couldn’t get infected no matter what. Joel brushed a few strands of hair away from your face, checking to make sure you weren’t hurt besides the obvious wound.

“Do you think they’ll make it to Tommy’s?” Ellie had learned to bury her fear deep down, not letting anyone know how scared she truly was. Not after Sam.

“As long as she stays stable through the night we’ll be fine,” Joel wasn’t entirely sure whether or not you were even going to survive the next few hours.

It was going to be a waiting game for the next twelve hours, if you couldn’t fight to survive you’d be just another unmarked grave along the way. Thankfully the weather was warm enough that they wouldn’t need to keep you covered with blankets to stave off the cold, Joel knew all too well how horrible that was.

“I’m going to scour the area a little more, keep an eye and make sure nothing happens to her please,” Joel kept his gaze on Ellie, he knew the moment he so much as glanced at you he’d refuse to leave the safety of the house.

Ellie nodded at him, cleaning around your wound before taping gauze around it with the little supplies they had left. She put most of the blame on herself, had she just grabbed your bag and ran none of this would’ve happened and Joel wouldn’t be paranoid. Things had been going fine for so long, why the hell did this have to happen? If you died Joel wouldn’t forgive her at all, not after seeing the way Joel looked at you when he thought she wasn’t aware. Your eyes were fluttering behind closed lids, shit what if you were having a nightmare and ended up thrashing to the point the stitches ripped?

Before Ellie could open her mouth to yell for Joel your hand clamped over her mouth, silencing her entirely. She didn’t fight back, your wound had to have been screaming in pain as you kept a tight grip on the teenager. Shit what if Joel came back inside and thought you’d been infected and managed to turn when his back was turned?

“Where is he?” Your voice was weak, strength waning as you waited for Joel to come back inside.

“He’s doing patrol, does it everyday to make sure we’re safe,” Ellie was truly terrified in that moment, how much longer would she be in this position?

“Shit, of course he does,” You could vaguely remember the way Joel had hardly slept at times, too paranoid that Fedra would be busting down the door to take you away.

Right at that moment Joel stepped back inside, eyes locking on the way you were clutching onto Ellie. Well this wasn’t what he’d hoped to come back inside to, but life hadn’t been kind to him in a long while.

“Hey, just let go of her and we can talk,” Joel knelt down slowly, he was getting too old to do any of this.

Your arms eased off of Ellie slowly, wincing as she brushed against your side to get back to the safety that was Joel’s back. He knew you wouldn’t be able to properly fight off any kind of attack but it didn’t put him at ease either way. Why had you gone after Ellie when they’d just gotten you settled somewhere safe, or what could be considered safe. 

“How far are we from your brother's place?” You weren’t sure what you wanted the answer to be, nothing sounded positive in the moment.

“About ten miles, it’s all mainly downhill which should be easier with your wound,” Joel glanced at your side noticing your shirt seemed to still be sticky.

“And you’re not going to kill me?” Your voice was shaky, whether it was fear of the sudden lack of adrenaline coursing through your body you weren’t sure.

“I can assure you we’re not going to kill you, Tommy’s compound will keep you safe,” What could he even say to truly reassure you that things weren’t that bad?

Ellie had slipped out of the room entirely, hiding away in one of the spare bedrooms on the first floor. Would you be more comfortable sleeping in a bed where you had more space? Maybe Joel could help you up to the master bedroom and get you comfortable.

“There’s a couple rooms, we’re going to stay the night and then finish the trek tomorrow, does that sound good?” Joel waited until you nodded, sliding his arms beneath you gently before lifting you off the couch.

He would have to get a shirt from Ellie’s bag and give it to you to replace the blood stained one, nothing worse than having them assume you were infected. Would you be able to handle that much walking with your wound? When Joel had been stabbed he was out for nearly two weeks, that was a bad time.

You’d tried to keep your eyes open, truly you did, but the pain was too much to bear and soon you had slipped into the dark embrace of unconsciousness. Joel couldn’t let Ellie know things were going catastrophically, lest he have her start worrying even more. Shit, Joel was most likely going to end up staying awake to make sure you didn’t die throughout the night. Then again it wouldn’t be the first time someone had died on Joel’s watch.

“Stay with us, don’t need Ellie beating me up cause you managed to die,” Joel gently laid you down on the bed, pulling the blanket over your limp frame.

Shirt first, then he could sit down and eat something before getting ready to sit by your side until tomorrow morning. Ellie was probably already asleep, or snacking on some food since it had been a few days. The hike was going to be treacherous, especially with the injuries you had it would take even longer. Taking one final glance to where you were laying Joel headed out of the bedroom in search of Ellie. She was exactly where he’d expected her to be, curled up in front of the fireplace with a can of chef boyardee.

“Please tell me you cooked that first,” Joel knelt down beside her, carefully sitting down with a small huff. “Yeah, made enough for you too since she’s asleep,” Ellie was eating much slower than he expected, practically savoring each bite.

“Thanks,” Joel grabbed the pot lid carefully, scooping up a ravioli into his mouth and chewing slowly.

The air outside was whipping harshly, reminding both Joel and Ellie that they weren’t close enough to the compound to truly feel safe.

“She’s really pretty,” Ellie had finished her dinner, stirring around the remaining sauce in the pot.

“Yeah, she definitely hasn’t lost her looks,” Joel shoveled another ravioli into his mouth before he could keep talking, more embarrassed by what he was saying.

Ellie wasn’t sure what else to say, she’d run into you by complete accident and acted on purely instinct to avoid getting hurt. Except it clearly had hurt Joel in a way, just because it wasn’t physical didn’t mean it didn’t do any harm. There were a few doctors at the compound, if they were able to get you back safely they’d fix you right up and Joel wouldn’t be mad at Ellie anymore… Right?

You’d barely made it through the night, waking up in a cold sweat every few hours as a fever started to take over. Joel had been by your bedside the entire time, ignoring every obligation he had to make sure you were alright. Maybe it was selfish of him but he needed things to turn out alright. The first few miles were a little rocky, Joel wasn’t sure you would be able to stay on your feet the entire time. It wasn’t until you were right outside of the compound that everything started to sink in. Ellie could hold herself up in the bedroom and hide until Joel came searching for her. Maybe she’d get enough time to sit and wallow in peace before he came storming in and blaming her for why someone else he cared about almost died by her hands.

Ellie had blamed herself for a lot of things, but whenever someone died because of her, well that shit really stuck. Joel hoisted you in his arms before running into the compound, screaming that he needed a doctor to help get your fever under control. Ellie snuck off quietly, leaving behind Joel as Tommy ran over with someone she assumed was important. Of course she was absolutely starving, the food they’d eaten the night before didn’t do much to curb her hunger. She wouldn’t go to the mess hall though, not with Joel being out and about while they did whatever they could to help you. She really missed Riley, she’d know what to do in this type of situation.

Maria caught a glance of Ellie as she made her way back to her and Joel’s shared home, roughly wiping at the tears that slipped down her cheeks. Maria knew better than to go after the teen and ask her what was wrong. Could it have been the woman that Joel had come in with, was she upset they had brought another stranger in? She would have to ask Tommy about it all later when they had dinner, right now she was busy taking care of her daughter.

Ellie had locked her door the moment she was inside, stripping off her backpack and jacket with an angry huff. This was all her fault, everything that happened was all her fucking fault. Why did she have to go after you, when you were just trying to defend yourself?

“Goddammit!” She kicked the dresser harshly, wincing as pain shot through her foot and shin.

Great, now she’d gone and gotten herself hurt as well, no wonder Joel hadn’t wanted to keep her around before. The sun was just starting to set outside the windows to her left, bathing the room in a soft orange glow. Maybe a nap would help, not like there was much else she could do anyway. First though she’d take a much needed shower and get into some clean clothes. Going over to the closet that Maria must have stocked when they left, Ellie dug through to find some clothes. A plain old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants would have to do the job for now, clean off the grime and sleep the issues away.

Joel was terrified, you’d been nearly comatose the entire time since they arrived back in Jackson. Your fever finally dropped, which put him at ease for a brief moment before he came back to the reality that you’d be asleep for a while. Tommy had promised him you were in good hands, that they’d make sure you would be perfectly fine. How could Joel possibly believe them? You were someone he’d lost all those years ago, and yet here you were right in front of him. Maybe he should get something to eat and take a shower, wouldn’t do him any good if he was starving and stunk like shit by the time you woke up.

“Could you come and get me if she wakes up, please?” Joel didn’t want to sound desperate, but there was an underlying urgency to his tone.

“Of course, we’ll alert Tommy right away to find you,” It was the best they could do, Joel was still a stranger to these people.

Joel left without looking back at you, he knew well enough that if he saw you lying peacefully on that hospital bed he’d never want to leave. Without letting himself doubt anything Joel made his way to the house, it was time for a shower and then to get something to eat. Maybe he could stock up their kitchen with what they had and cook for Ellie and you one night. Wouldn’t be for a while of course, Joel needed to make sure he was in the people’s good graces first and foremost. As he made his way up to his own bedroom he frowned when he noticed Ellie’s light was turned off, had she gone to bed?

“Ellie?” Joel knocked on her door carefully, frowning further as he noticed the door was locked.

“Sweetheart, you okay?” She’d have said if something was bothering her, right?

Joel waited for any type of answer, or even any movement that let him know Ellie was in her bedroom. The soft sound of rustling sheets gave him the answer he was looking for, at least he knew she was safe. Turning and heading back to his own bedroom Joel tried to figure out where to go from here. First thing would be a shower, then some food. Shit, should he bring something back and leave it in the fridge for Ellie? Surely she’d be hungry after the journey they just had. He was shocked at how stocked the closet was, there definitely weren’t this many clothes the last time they’d been here. Had they been hoping he and Ellie had come back? Goddammit, Joel didn’t need to start getting emotional over things like this.

Grabbing the necessary clothes Joel headed over to the bathroom attached to his bedroom. It was smaller than their main bathroom, but that didn’t bother him at all. There were a few new things in the bathroom as well, different types of soaps, shaving cream, and even a razor. God, when’s the last time Joel was able to shave? He’d gotten so used to having facial hair he hadn’t even thought about it before. Maybe he could trim it later, he’d definitely need a haircut eventually, his hair was getting too damn long.

He set down his clothes before turning to the shower, cranking the handle to the left so the water would be hot enough to wash away all the grime. Steam had begun to fill the small space as Joel stripped down, looking over the many scars that littered his body. The one on his right side stuck out the most, that time had been so traumatic for Ellie and he blamed himself daily. Had he just been able to see the asshole coming he wouldn’t have been injured, but it was his right side, and Joel had all but lost all his hearing on that side.

Now wasn’t the time to think about his past mistakes, that would happen when he was laying in bed like any other normal person. Joel chuckled to himself and stepped under the scalding spray, groaning as the water rushed down his aching back. He grimaced as the water darkened with dirt, sweat, and a little bit of blood. Grabbing one of the bars of soap Joel started to lather it in his hands before scrubbing at his body and hair. As long as Joel was clean he didn’t care about anything else right now. Well, except for making sure you and Ellie were alright, but that was Joel's number one priority all the time.

Once he was finally clean, Joel stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel closest to him, drying off his body and hair before getting dressed. The clothes were a damn near perfect fit, and he wasn’t sure if that was due to losing even more weight during their journey home. No time to think about stuff like that right now, he needed to get some food. He’d get something to eat and bring something home to Ellie. Maybe he could go back and sit with you for a little while as long as Tommy didn’t need him.

So much to do and so little time. Joel was getting too damn old for this shit.

[fizzyxcustard]

Never.

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairings: Eleventh Doctor x OC

Warnings: Angst, insecurity, sadness, smut, first person POV

Summary: Sarah has been travelling with the Doctor and has fallen madly in love with the Time Lord. Will their feelings finally get the better of them?

Comments/Notes: I wrote this fic around 2014/15 and it is currently up on my AO3 page for reading, but I thought I would try it here and see how it goes. This is part 1 of 5, in a series called 'Cup of Tea and Jammie Dodgers'.

Currently I am keeping the tag list for this series completely separate from my main Follow Forever tag list, so if you'd like to be added to this tag list for Doctor Who, please let me know.

I hope you like the fic. As always, like, reblog and comment if you enjoy. If you wish to be added to any of my tag lists, let me know.

It didn’t matter how many times I tried to convince myself that he could love someone like me, I knew he never would. I was a mere human, nothing special, nothing fantastic. A man like him deserved an exotic woman from a distant planet who could match him mentally with her expertise in time travel and higher than average IQ. I couldn’t deliver on any of that. I was just a mediocre, run of the mill woman from central England.

The Doctor had come into my life quite by accident. He’d been the one to pick me up from a dark place and took me to the stars – literally. Over the time we’d travelled together in the TARDIS, he’d spoke of his previous companions and all of them seemed to have something to offer. But I just couldn’t see at all what had called him to take me to other worlds. Maybe I should have asked him as it was something I’d never brought myself to ask.

The last two or three days I’d tried my best to keep myself to myself while I let this confusion in my head unfold. Each day I’d retire quite early to the library or pool and so far he hadn’t really noticed. He was his usual self: bouncy, child-like, but always had that all too familiar sadness sitting behind his eyes. I’d only seen him cry once, but he’d smiled through the tears, pretending that he was being silly. But, to me, he’d never be silly. He was the most amazing man I’d ever known, and I’m sure everyone else that had met him thought exactly the same. So...why would I be any different?

The TARDIS, so far, had been big enough for me to hide. But not anymore. I was sat beside the pool, listening to my own thoughts, when I heard a gentle calling of my name. And there he was, stood in the doorway. When I first met him he hadn’t been the kind of man I’d have fallen for; he was boyish in his appearance with floppy hair, continuous hand gestures and a mad bowtie. Behind that and he was so much more. He was freedom, hope and a reason to live life expectantly. Since stepping on board the TARDIS, I woke up awaiting the wonder of a new world or the echoes of someone’s forgotten past.

He placed a freshly brewed cup of tea and a packet of Jammie Dodgers on the table beside me. His shoes squeaked on the tiles as he spun on his heel and sat on the edge of the recliner next to me.

“You don’t look dressed for swimming,” he said softly, looking at my attire of jeans and blouse.

“You never know what I might have hiding under here,” I laughed, looking down at my blouse, but as soon as I’d let the words fall off my lips, I realised my stupidity. I’d never been one to talk provocatively, no matter how hard I tried.

The Doctor let his expression gradually turn to a sad smile as he seemingly forgot my comment. Maybe he hadn’t seen the innuendo of it.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” he asked. “I had noticed even though you always tell me I don’t seem to notice anything.”

I sighed and shifted awkwardly in my seat. I wanted to tell him so badly how I felt. Every time I caught sight of him and I felt the butterflies set up residence in my stomach. I’d always been so guarded when it came to men and allowing myself to fall for them. There were still old scars inside me which hadn’t quite healed over completely. One of these scars was due to an old fiancée who had fallen out of love with me. He’d grown distant from me, finding more happiness in the company of others until he broke the relationship off. Maybe he hadn’t been the one so to speak, but he made me feel like I fit in with everyone else. With him and I could tell everyone that someone loved me. I could be like all my old co-workers and ex-school friends who I accidentally bumped into on the street. With the Doctor...oh, it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Unknowingly, he’d taken me from that need to be ordinary and like everyone else, transforming me into something else. I was different now. I travelled through time and space with a mad man in a blue box. What was normal about that?

How could I just let everything spill out? I suddenly felt hot and flustered. I needed to run.

I got up from my seat quickly, ignoring his protests for me to come back. The tears began to fall down my cheeks and a lump rose in my throat.

Suddenly I felt his hand around my arm and I was turned quickly, although not forcefully.

I looked into his eyes, those deep set eyes that had become so beautiful to me. Gradually I backed up against the wall, but he stepped forward, keeping the distance between us minimal.

My heart thundered in my chest and I looked down, unable to keep eye contact. “You’re playing with me,” I said sternly. “Stop it!”

“Somehow I believe you’re the better one at teasing,” he replied. His eyes had grown darker with something I couldn’t, in that moment, admit to seeing there. I just couldn’t admit it to myself that he might possibly feel something for me.

Then he raised his hand and cupped my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing away the one tear that had clung there. “My dearest Sarah,” he whispered. “You just don’t see it. None of it. You think beauty lies in the constellations, nebulas and galaxies. But I see all of that when I look in your eyes.”

“You chose me to travel with you, but why? Everyone else that you’ve had as a companion has had more about them...”

“Shhhh,” he said, growing agitated. “There’s a reason for each one of you passing through those doors. The TARDIS knows who I need, and she chose you for me, Sarah.”

How could he speak to me like this when he was married to River Song? Did Time Lords have a twisted idea of marriage and then sneak off with concubines? He was confusing me, and I think he sensed that.

“Doctor, you’re married to River. Why do you think I’ve kept away from you?” I asked, moving aside and out of the door. “How can I stand in front of the man I love day after day and know nothing can ever come of it? I age and die, you regenerate. It’s as though life enjoys playing sick games with you.”

I dashed down the corridor, trying to find my way back towards my room, but each and every time I attempted to get away, I kept coming back to the entrance to the pool. The Doctor stood there with his arms crossed.

“You know how the TARDIS works, Sarah. Don’t keep running away. You need to face up to problems in your life rather than keep running,” he told me.

“Oh, you’re a fine one to say that to me seeing as you took me from home!” I shouted. “You run from your past every day, Doctor. And you stand there preaching to me about it.”

I could see the frustration growing on his face and with no other words spoken he approached me quickly, and kissed me.

I tried to pull away but he had his hands on my cheeks, keeping me against him. As his lips moved, I knew I couldn’t keep the running routine up. He weakened me and I stood there completely defenceless, responding to his kiss. My arms wound around his waist and I groaned beneath our locked lips.

Gradually we parted, our breaths heightened.

He smiled at me and then pressed his forehead against mine. “Never think you’re unimportant. Never!”

*

The Doctor excused himself from my company a short time later, promising to come and see me once he’d taken care of some calculations and such in the main console room.

I took a quick swim and then had a shower, washing all of the chlorine out of my hair. But all the way through I couldn’t take my mind off the Doctor. Smiles kept coming out of nowhere and I must have looked like a lunatic to anyone watching. However, I knew I needed to learn of his intentions. Where would any kind of relationship go from here? Or would it be nigh on impossible. For today I needed to forget it all and just enjoy the moment. Living in the moment for the sheer fun of it was something I’d never been able to do. My mind had always been locked on the future, stressing about the what ifs and maybes of life.

After the shower, I returned to my room only to find that the single bed which was against the wall had now turned into a double, centred amongst the simple furnishings.

What on earth was the TARDIS doing? I’d been told countless times how she needed to be sure of a person and only allowed those on board who were important and integral to the Doctor’s travels. What was the reason behind my presence?

I stepped further into the room and slipped a hand down onto the crisp, white bed sheets. A tingle shot up my back making me shiver. The Doctor... and me...in this bed.

The door shut behind me and as I turned I saw him. His tweed jacket was missing and his shirt sleeves were rolled up.

“Been busy?” I asked.

“Not as busy as I’d like to be,” he replied. “I think you’ll make sure I have my work cut out for me.”

One thing I knew was for certain: if I made love to him here, tonight, things would never be the same for me. I couldn’t let this be a one night stand. My heart was his, completely. But was his heart mine?

“Doctor,” I whispered. “I can’t.”

He smiled at me. “I know you enough by now to know why. Truth is, I know I’m married to River, but my heart...or hearts,” he began. He stopped and chuckled. “My hearts aren’t there. I care for River but not in the same way I care for you. In my last regeneration, I felt this way for someone else.”

“Rose?” I asked. I knew it was her. Sometimes the way he spoke about her made everything so clear. She’d been his first love. He’d speak about other companions from his last regeneration like Martha and Donna, but the regret and sadness wasn’t present in his voice like when he mentioned Rose. His previous companions from this regeneration, Amy and her husband, Rory, had been his best friends, sharing in so many of his trials and triumphs. Where I fit in, I didn’t quite know.

“But...I’m different, Sarah. In this form I have my memories, but the feelings disappear...some of them.”

“You said that you left a clone of yourself with Rose so she’d never be without you. How am I supposed to walk away from all of this without you? And I mean you as you are now.”

“Isn’t it better to taste love once even if it’s not meant to last, than never taste it at all?” he asked me.

All reason and control left me and I leaned up to kiss him.

My hands wound up in his hair as his drifted down me, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. I couldn’t help but let out a groan, momentarily feeling embarrassment, but that soon dissipated as I found myself being disrobed.

His lips inspected me carefully, inch by inch as we made sure no more clothing could get in the way. And shortly after, we lay amongst the fresh covers. He was leaning over me, kissing my neck passionately. I’d never seen him so primal and unrestricted.

I couldn’t help but arch my back as his lips travelled down my body, until he came to my inner thigh and it was then that I called out into the air.

“I don’t want to wait anymore,” I said, trying to get the words out coherently between the feelings which were bombarding me.

He never spoke but instead began kissing back upward, seemingly not missing an inch. And as his face came in front of mine, I took his lips back against mine but felt him enter me at the same time in one swift movement. On instinct and in shock I groaned under the kiss, and then he reciprocated.

We began to thrust against one another, matching one another’s movements and as we did, he took my hands in his. I could feel the ascension to my orgasm beginning and it became so quick the harder we pulsed into one another, until finally, I felt that last turbulent wave hit me. Whilst the orgasm pulsed through me, the Doctor groaned against my neck, signalling his release.

Breathlessly, he withdrew and lay beside me.

We let our breaths come back to normal before the Doctor reached over and began tickling me. Instantly I laughed, pulling away, but he came almost on top of me, attacking me with his hands. My insides hurt as I laughed over and over, until I found a way to get at him.

I lunged forwards, still giggling and began tickling him back in retaliation. His laughter filled the room until we settled down to sleep.

*

I woke to find that the space next to me had become vacant and the Doctor’s clothes had disappeared. Sighing, I got up, re-dressed and decided to take a walk down to the console room. Maybe he was in there, hovering over leavers and gauges...as per usual.

This time the TARDIS allowed me to walk smoothly into the console room, where I found him. I stayed by the door, watching him grinning like a happy child and hopping around the system, chattering away. Now that I’d experienced what it was like to not only travel with the Doctor, but allow him in, I knew I’d never be the same again.

***

Doctor Who tag list: @asgardianhobbit98 @bookworm-with-coffee

[yugioh-rare-pair-poll]

Round 3: Final Round

Propaganda under the cut

Pairing 1: Emasculateshipping(Professor Cronos de Medici | Dr. Vellian Crowler/Napoleon | Jean-Louis Bonaparte)

Propaganda: As the Funny European Team Rocket Men of GX, the two are almost too obvious-- not just in how much time they spend together or how much of that time seems a bit too intimate for men who are supposedly just work buddies. The ship, with its participants being based on historical figures (obviously, Napoleon Bonaparte and the Medici family respectively), the ship therefore has a real-world historical precedent of sorts (Napoleon was Italian; two Medici women married into French royalty); the two have similar and compatible priorities (Cronos being first and foremost concerned with his babies-- ahem, *students*, while Napoleon is mostly worried about his own son; the step-father potential in Cronos is Immaculate) and, of course, the ship is very funny-- not in the least because you have two men, one single in his mid-thirties while the other is divorced in his fifties, thereby trying to navigate their relationship like a pair of stupid teenagers. But of course, there is also serious potential in the ship as well. After all, Napoleon's divorce means that he's going to be extremely anxious about screwing up a good thing again, while for Cronos it's a potential red flag that their relationship will end in disaster. The plot of season 3 also gives them both immense pain to work through, after all that they've been helpless as their respective kids suffered. It's easy to overlook them both, especially Napoleon (I promise that's not a joke at the expense of his height, he's just kinda mainly remembered for how he's introduced in season 2 as French Cis Cronos and has little unique character of his own until Martin's introduction), but there's absolutely something to engage with both in the characters themselves and in the interactions between them. Also they literally went on a picnic date while watching Judai duel once they're gay your honor

Pairing 2: Lacunashipping (Yubel/Manjoume Jun | Chazz Princeton)

Propaganda: It's my absolute favourite !!! Two emotionally messes up goths together !!! Not only is it funny for Judai to be the 3rd wheel between his rival and his soulmate, but I also think Jun and Yubel can vibe together in their own weird way. Yubel is a living weapon who is very much not used to anyone other than Judai caring for or respecting them, so I think Jun's casual (and rude) attitude towards duel spirits would really Do Something to them emotionally. They should kiss sloppy style. They should

Now, let’s keep things civil. This is a silly poll where we can share why we love our overlooked ships. There’s no need to be nasty to prove your point.  Bashers will be consumed by darkness.

[raleighcarreras]

it's all so incredibly loud

Part 6: there's a flood coming to sweep us away

Pairing: wanda maximoff x black!fem!reader

Rating: M (sexual content, language)

Warnings: sex, not very descriptive but still evident, vaginal fingering (r receiving), pietro is the best wing man ever, he's going to make sure his sister gets laid or die trying

Wrd Cnt: 1.9k?

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Notes: one more chapter (unless i decide on an epilogue) to go! The song is teenage dream but specifically the glee version (stop looking at me like that) 18+ only im so serious

"I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans. Be your teenage dream tonight."

You had gotten maybe an hour of sleep all night. First, the fiasco with the boys, and then with Wanda less than a foot away from you, relaxation was hard to come by.

You told her you needed her with you to calm down, and in all honesty, you thought you were telling the truth. But the opposite had occured. As soon as you heard her soft breathy snorts of air, you were riddled with energy.

Sleep didn't find you until the 10 O'clock hour in the morning. After Pietro came into the room with Alexis hanging off of his hip, chewing on his shirt. He told you he'd take the boys out to a 24 hour arcade he saw during his 6 am run. Promising to feed them, give them a stern Uncle Talk (TM), and thus giving you space to rest for as long as he could keep their attention.

You whispered a small, grateful 'Thank you' and Wanda grunted out something unintelligible. Otherwise, she had been dead to the world all night and well into the morning.

Wanda slept like she hadn't slept in months. And you did too, for an hour.

At 11: 06, you awoke to an arm tightening around your waist. Wanda also awoke to an arm tightening around your waist.

She tried to peel away from you, "Shit, Y/N. I'm sorry. Force of habit I guess."

You stopped her with a grip onto her wrist that presented itself more forceful than you intended, "No don't. Please."

Wanda replaced her arm, "Ok. I'm not going anywhere."

You had no business feeling this vulnerable. No business feeling like your ex-wife was the only thing anchoring you to the ground so you wouldn't float away into the stratosphere.

And yet...

That's exactly how you felt.

You felt like you needed to roll over and bury your face into Wanda's neck or else you would lose your mind. So, you did. And Wanda let you because she understood. She just got you.

You reveled in it.

If Wanda hadn't started speaking you would have gotten your second hour of sleep.

"Are you okay?"

And of all the things she could have asked, she chose something hard. You would have been better off with a calculus word problem.

You shrugged, "No. Yes. I don't know. I just feel, y'know?"

"Yes. I do. I just feel all the time."

"How do you deal with it?"

You could feel Wanda's eyelashes flutter on the side of your forehead, "Well, lately? By talking about it. Normally, figuring out why I feel like that helps a lot."

Could you tell Wanda why you felt the way you felt? Could you tell her how your stubbornness was leading to your children thinking they were a burden? Could you tell her that in some ass backwards turn of events it was you who dreaded when she had to leave, and prayed for her return?

Could you tell her that Pietro took the boys out to the arcade so they didn't get the wrong idea seeing the two of you in the same bed, and now it seemed he should have taken you too because you were getting the wrong idea seeing the two of you in the same bed?

"I feel-I feel like I should have gone to therapy too."

Wanda laughed at that, "Don't go to Dr. Raynor. She just looks at you until you realize what you just said was stupid."

But you don't laugh, "I feel like I missed you. I feel like I missed this... being with you. I feel like I shouldn't feel those things. But I also feel like it doesn't matter if I shouldn't because I already do."

Wanda shrugged you away from her side so she could look at you better. The two of you mirroring each other on your sides.

"Can I tell you something?"

You nodded with a look of concern, "You can tell me anything." And you've meant that for years. You've never stopped.

"When I went off the deep end and Strange helped me come back to myself, and I said I'd never use my powers again unless it was the last resort...that flipped something in me. I had just lost my family and then I couldn't use the tools I was gifted to protect them if it ever happened again..."

Tears crawled slowly out of the corners of Wanda's eyes but she didn't bother swiping them away and neither did you.

"...that ruined me. Last night was the first time I've slept throughout the night in a very long time."

You grabbed at Wanda's face, your thumbs sliding over her cheekbones and smearing tear tracks in their wake, "Wanda, why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to seem weak. I didn't want you to worry about my problems. Yes, I realize how stupid that sounds now."

"We're a team, you know that, right?"

"I do, I just got a little lost somewhere in there."

"Good."

You assume that the fact that you can't tell who leans in first, probably insinuates that you both do at the same time.

But it ultimately doesn't matter when your lips touch for the first time in months, and as your hand trails down from her face to fist into her T-shirt, you realize just how lost you had been too.

You're still not too keen on telling her how her bottom lip between your own felt like coming home. And that her solid grip on your barely covered waist practically had you purring.

You sure as hell weren't going to tell her the last time you had been touched this way was by Sharon all those weeks ago and it didn't feel even a bit like this at all.

Though, when she repositions you onto your back to kiss at that spot below your ear, and you moan breathily into hers, you have a feeling she somehow knows.

Wanda's hand slithers up to your chest, raising your shirt up as it goes. Eventually, Wanda gets tired of the garment and slips it easily over your head. Her own following suit soon after.

Her hand tweaked at a nipple, smiling at your squeak of a response, "You're beautiful."

Another unoccupied hand trailed over your stomach before stopping at the hem of your shorts and underwear.

You've got the sudden urge to scream, maybe even beg, "Wanda...please."

"Are you sure?"

What about any of your body language in that current moment said 'unsure'?

"I'm sure. Touch me."

It's not make-up sex that you're having. At least, not really. Not...yet. It's more of 'thank god you're here with me and not letting me slip into a state of mortal peril' sex. Which is, of course, the next best thing.

When Wanda does finally slip underneath your thin garments, and the pads of her fingers trace delicately over your center, you think you might cry.

Whether it be from relief or some other feeling is the least of your worries at the moment.

In some way, you feel bad for Wanda, there's no way she doesn't feel your nails currently digging into her arm, but judging from the glimpse you get every time you manage to pry your eyes open, she seems pretty pleased with herself despite any pain she may be feeling.

The worst part? She's not even inside of you yet.

You're losing your mind over her fingers circling your clit and slipping, sliding over your lips. And you're drenched. Dripping some might even say.

"You're soaked, Detka..." Is what Wanda ends up whispering over your parted mouth. And you have no choice but to cosign.

You could feel her fingertips teasing at your entrance and your chest heaved. It took everything in you not to buck your hips to speed the process along. Only because you know Wanda. You know she likes to bask in your impatience. In your neediness. You know she likes it when you beg.

And you can't find it in you to do anything but.

"Wands, please fuck me."

She's leaning over you now. She had forgone general confidence and went straight to cocky, for lack of a better word. There's no need to pretend like you don't like it.

"Open your eyes." A simple request, it would seem. But it was easier said than done.

Soon, you manage to open your eyes, unfocused as they are. You stare back at Wanda with a bite to your lip and a strain to your neck.

"Say it again."

The words dribble from your lips like milk down a chin, "Wanda, please fuck me. I need-"

Your expletives cut off in exchange for a sharp inhale of breath.

Her fingers slipped into you easily, your resulting moan is the loudest one yet and just as sinful as your whimpers.

Wanda eyed you through her eyelashes, most of your energy was being used to stare back at her.

Her fingers rutted out, then back in. Pumping into you with enough force for your breath to hitch in rhythm.

You whimpered and panted, urging Wanda to pick up the pace. And she happily obliged.

"You look so gorgeous like this." The praise fluttering throught your ear and wrapped softly around your chest.

The hand that wasn't permanently glued to Wanda's poor bicep, reached for her neck, bringing her down into a deliriously arousing kiss.

She pumped into you, as firmly as your underwear allowed. Your bud caught against her palm. It was almost too much for you.

Your hips rolled against her hand, moans increasing in pitch and volume until Wanda had no choice but to muffle the sound with her lips again.

"God...Wanda!"

The kids may be gone, but you did still have neighbors.

It's not much longer after that you let go into Wanda's hand. Your legs trembling and your mouth falling open in a silent scream.

Wanda brought you down softly. Her hand on your waist to keep you from moving.

"But-"

"I'm good. Get some rest. I know you didn't sleep. I thought you would pass out somewhere in the middle of that, if I'm being honest."

You pouted and playfully swatted at her shoulder, "You snore and I got unused to it."

"That's not why you didn't sleep."

You bit the inside of your cheek, "It's not. I find your hog calling cute for some reason."

Wanda ignored the insistence that she snored, "What kept you awake?"

You weren't exactly sure what to say. The simple answer; you had been thinking all night. Too much and too little.

The complicated answer; you missed your fucking wife. And then, she was right there next to you and you didn't know what to feel. You didn't know if you wanted her back permanently or just needed the temporary comfort.

There was still a big question about this entire situation that you had yet to receive an answer to, and maybe then you could begin to figure things out.

"It's my turn to tell you something." You breathed out softly.

"Tell me everything."

You swallowed around the metaphorical lump obstructing your throat, "When I found out about...y'know....I couldn't help but think it was my fault, it was something I did to push you away. I thought that, and even though I didn't know what it was, I still tried to fix it, to fix me. And, that wasn't good...I-I just need to know if it was something I did."

"No. No, it was never you. After Strange, I guess I just felt like I wasn't enough. Like I couldn't be enough. And instead of talking to you about that like a normal person, I got so drunk I couldn't see straight and went home with someone who couldnt either. Fuck, I am so sorry I made you feel like that. I promise it was never you. You're perfect."

Your tears soak into the skin of Wanda's neck. Marking her in a way you've never done.

The silence that results is somewhere between comfortable and not, but Wanda breaks it anyway.

"Go on a date with me."

You hum, that time you really were seconds from passing out, "A date?"

"Yes. A date. I think we've changed a lot and should probably reintroduce ourselves to each other."

You nodded slowly, "Okay. You have to find a babysitter though and it can't be Pietro because he needs a babysitter too most days. I have a feeling he let Alexis chew his shirt right off his body today."

"Deal."

Another bout of silence. This time, you're the one who breaks it.

"Fuck, we're going to need so much therapy."

Wanda laughs.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." And you do. You know she is.

Eventually, you do fall asleep, and right before Pietro and the kids get home, Wanda slips out of your room into the livingroom. Making it look like she was there the entire morning.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Daechwita/ 2

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 6.7k

Includes- so much fluff, love making, missionary, oral, pussy eating, cum swallowing, sex from behind, squirting, multiple orgasms

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana

@tannie13 @y00nzin0

@marsstarxhwa @borntowalkaway

@kjqueen05

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist

📝Yoongi Masterlist

Part 1

🌟gifs are from Google

Yoongi POV

"Shit", she curses while looking in her bag

"What jagi?", I ask looking up from my phone

"I can't believe I forgot"

"Forget what baby?"

"P.j.'s. I live in those things and I forgot to pack some. I'm so dumb"

She actually looks upset that she forgot

It's too fucking cute

"It's ok Jo. You can borrow one of my shirts. It should be long enough for you"

"Oh well ok", she agrees

Getting up from the bed, I go to my dresser and get out a soft oversized black t-shirt

This should be good

"Here jagi"

I hand her the shirt, then sit back on my bed

"Thanks baby"

I can't help but watch her as she changes

I take every change I can get to oogle her

And she knows it, so she does things like over exaggerate wiggling her ass while taking her skinny jeans off

Or slowly untying the bralette and letting it fall off of her instead of just taking it off

She's such a little shit sometimes

Her back is to me and I take the time to oogle her perfect ass in her barely there panties, her hips and the huge tattoo on her back that I love to run my fingers on

She takes my shirt and pulls it over her, head, letting it fall just below her thighs

She turns smirking at me and holy shit she looks so fucking good in my clothes

Such a little shit

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom to take my makeup off ok?"

"Sure jagi"

She leaves my room and I sit back on my bed

I reach my arm out quickly to get my phone and blinding pain shoots through my shoulder

Fucking hell

I knew it was going to get aggravated with all the jumping and sword waving

It's too soon to have another injection and I had to reschedule the therapy appointment since I'm filming the video this week

It sucks and it hurts

But I just have to suck it up until I can get to therapy

I put my other hand on my shoulder, rubbing it and moving my shoulder around

The pain is still there, cramping my muscle

Stupid car that hit me all those years ago

"Shoulder hurts baby?"

I glance up to see her standing next to me, a worried look on her gorgeous bare face

I nod

"Move up", she says waving her hand in front of me

"Jagi you dont-"

"Oh shush Yoongi. Of course I do. I'm not leaving you in pain"

I reluctantly agreed and scoot up so there's room for her to sit behind me

She always massages my shoulder

Almost every time we're together

She even goes with me to therapy and has them show her how she can massage me and help me at home

And she does it so well

I'm so grateful but I'm worried she's doing because she feels like she has to

She sits behind me, kissing the back of my neck, "Relax Yoongi"

I take a breath and try to relax as her hands start moving on my shoulder

She uses her thumbs to push against the muscles of my shoulder

I stiffen in pain

"Hurts baby?"

I nod

"I'm sorry baby. It's gonna hurt for a little"

"I know jagi. Don't apologize"

"But I don't want to hurt you"

I smile to myself

She's always worried about me

"I know you don't mean to jagi. It's ok"

"Ok", she answers, kissing the back of my neck again

This time I move from the shiver that runs down my spine from the kiss

She giggles, "Sensitive?"

I laugh, "Just from your lips baby"

"Aww. Who knew that Min, Yoongi could be so sweet and dare I say it....adorable"

"Ha. Only you get to see this side of me"

"I'm honored", she teases

I realize that my shoulder isn't hurting while she's pressing her knuckles into my muscles

She was distracting me so I wouldn't feel it

"When is your next injection?"

I think, "Uh next month. I think the 15th"

"Baby I think you should think about maybe seeing a doctor and rechecking your shoulder. Redo whatever tests they did before. You're shoulder is hurting a lot more than it was before"

Huh

Maybe

"You think jagi?"

"Yeah Yoongi. You used to be able to have no pain until your next injection. And you're getting them every month now. I think your shoulder might be getting worse baby and that's not good. I don't want anything bad to happen or get to the point where you'll be in pain all the time"

I mean she's right

Maybe I should go to the doctor to just check everything out

Everything she's saying so far is true

"I think I will jagi. It makes sense to check everything"

"Ok Yoongi. Let me know when you're going and I'll go with you ok"

"You want to go with me?", I ask in disbelief

No one likes going to doctor appointments

The waiting is annoying and then I don't even know if they'll let her come in with me

"Of course Yoongi. Unless you don't want me to come", she says as she runs her fingers on my shoulder

I shake my head immediately, "No jagi no. I do want you to come. I just don't want you to be bored"

"I won't be bored baby. I'll be with you"

God she's the sweetest, best girl I ever met

"Ok jagi. Thanks"

"Don't thank me baby. I'll do anything for you", she says, leaning over, kissing my cheek

"Fuck, I love you so much"

Her hand stops moving on my shoulder and I hear her soft gasp

What?

What happened?

Is she ok?

"Www...what did you say?"

Huh?

What did I say?

I said I-

Oh shit

I told her I love her

Fuck

"Did...did you mean what you said?"

I can't lie to her

And now that I said it, I can't take it back

I don't want to

I'm terrified but I want her to know

I slowly turn around and looked at her surprised face

--------------------------

J POV

I stare at Yoongi in completely surprised, my heart in my throat

Did he really say he loves me?

Does he mean it?

Please, please, please let him mean it

Please

He takes my hand, lacing our fingers together

He lifts his eyes to mine

"Yeah Joanne. I mean it. I love you"

Oh my God

This...this is my dream come true

"I'm so in love with you Joanne. I have been for a long time. Since close to the beginning of our relationship", he explains, "I just...I was scared to tell you. I've never been in love before and I didn't want to scare you. I didn't know if it was too soon to say it so I didn't. But yeah I love you."

I can't help the smile that bursts on my face

"I love you Yoongi"

The shock in his eyes is confusing to me

Does he think I wouldn't loved him?

Why?

There's nothing about him to not love

"Yeah?", he asks shyly

I nod, "Of course I do Yoongi. Why wouldn't I? You're everything I could ever want and so much more"

His mouth drops, "Really?"

"Yes baby. I'm so in love with you too. From close to the beginning of us too. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to scare you either. I mean you're an idol. You're always busy and I completely understand. But I didn't know if you took this relationship seriously, if after a few months you'd get tired of me and I was scared to say it"

"Never Jo. Never. I do take this relationship seriously. More serious than any other I ever had. I never loved any other girlfriends. I love you", he tells me, running his fingers in my hair

I smile at him, "I love you Yoongi, with all my heart. You're kinda my everything"

The smile on his face is so fucking beautiful, "You're kinda my everything too Jo"

Then he pulls me to him, his lips against mine

"I love you", he whispers between kisses, "I love you so much"

"I love you Yoongi", I answer, kissing him again, "My naekkeo"

"My jagi"

"My Yoongi"

"My Joanne"

My heart swells with love hearing him call me his

I am his, I was always his

Always

Pressing my lips to his again softly, we kiss, our arms around each other

He slowly moves me back on the bed, moving on top of me, kissing me deeply

Moving my hands under his shirt, I slowly move them up, feeling his muscles and taking the shirt up too

He moves with me to get it off him, his lips leaving mine only for the second it takes to pull the shirt over his head

His kisses feel so good, the pressure of his lips against mine, his tongue brushing up against mine

I could kiss this man forever

His hand moves under my shirt, softly caressing my skin

Normally it'd tickle when he touches the sides of my body but now it feels too good

Fuck, when he touches me, my mind goes blank and all I want are his hands roaming everywhere

"Take it off for me jagi", he whispers

I nod, moving my arms up and lifting my body slightly from the bed so he can slip the shirt off

His lips attack my neck, kissing, licking and sucking while his hands squeeze my boobs softly

"My baby's so pretty", he whispers, trailing hot kisses across my shoulder

Every nerve where his lips land heats up as if I'm on fire

He changes the direction his kisses go, trailblazing down to my chest

I swear his kisses alone can get me off

His mouth kisses around my nipple, making me shiver and wait in anticipation

His tongue glides along my nipple making me moan loudly, my body arch on its own

"Yea baby, let me hear your pretty sounds. Fuck I love them"

His mouth wraps around my nipple, sucking softly, pleasure creeping along my body, my panties flooded

His hand slides down my body, mouth still on my boob and he pulls my panties down, agonizingly slow

He switches nipples and hands, pulling the other side of my panties off

"Yoongi", I moan, playing with his hair

"Want to be inside you baby. Right now"

That is exactly what I want too

I move up slowly, both of us on our knees, reaching for his pj pants

I press my lips to his neck, right in the spot that I know he loves

"Jo, baby", he whimpers

Sliding my hands under his pants and boxers, I push them down to his knees

Gently I push him back and he goes willingly, laying on his back

I get his clothes off, then climb on him

"Fuck jagi, you're so beautiful", he whispers, his gorgeous brown eyes looking at me

I feel my cheeks turn pink

I can never get used to Yoongi, an idol, telling me I'm beautiful

Never

"So are you baby", I tell him, then lean down, kissing him deeply

His arms wrap around me, holding me on him as he kisses me back

These kisses are different

They're not the normal wild, desperate kisses nor the sweet gently ones

They're slow, passionate, full of love

I can feel his love for me and I hope he can feel mine for him

I feel his fingers trailing up and down my back, making my skin tremble

I pull away looking down at him

Running my hand in his hair, I cup his cheek gently

"I love you", I tell him

The smile that bursts on his face is so bright, so happy

I love making him happy

That's all I want to do, make him happy

"I love you", he answers, "so much"

I nod, "So much"

Sitting straight up, I shift, easily getting him inside and sinking down on him

Both of us moan loudly while I push down, getting him in more and more, a little at a time

"So good jagi", he moans

"Yeah baby. You feel so good", I agree

Bottoming him out, I sit on him for a few seconds, feeling him inside

My body shakes a little and his hands rub up and down the sides of my body

"Ok jagi?"

I nod, "Yeah just wanna feel you"

"I know baby. I love feeling you too. So perfect for me"

I'm ridiculously happy, just like I always am every time he tells me that

"Am I good for you jagi?"

I nod my head rapidly

Of course he is

He has to be crazy to think he's not

"Always baby. Always perfect", I reassure him

Placing my hands on his smooth, muscular chest, I slide up his cock then go back down slowly

"Yes baby, yes", he moans

I keep moving, going a little faster

I move my fingers up and down his chest to his stomach, gently touching and feeling his soft skin

Once my hands are on him, I can't stop touching him

He takes my hand, kissing my palm and my heart bursts with love for him

I move my hips, grinding against him, pleasure flowing

He closes his eyes, whimpering

"So good jagi", he praises

Leaning back, I put one of my hands on his thigh as I bounce softly

I tilt my head back, feeling him, how hard he is, how fucking perfectly he opens me up, how snugly he fits inside

Like he was meant to be there

"Yoongi", I moan

"So beautiful baby", he whimpers, making me look at him

He's watching me, biting his lip, pleasure on his face as his hands reach up and squeeze my breasts

I move down and at the same time he moves his hips up, meeting me, going in so deep, hitting my spot

"Yoongi", I cry, stars bursting in my vision

"There baby?"

I nod, my hands gripping his wrists as he thrusts again

"Ok my baby. Whatever you want jagi"

We keep moving together, the pleasure intense

I clench on him involuntarily, hearing him gasp

"Again baby, do it again"

This time I squeeze him on purpose, hard

"Yes Jo, please jagi, hold me tight. Don't let go", he begs

I nod, making a conscious effort to keep a tight hold on him

I want him to feel maximum pleasure too

"Please jagi, cum on me. Please. I want it"

God, hearing him beg for my orgasm is so hot and such a rush

We move again and I snap, moaning his name, ecstasy washing over me

Oh god it feels so fucking good

He feels so good, so hard and hitting my spot

"Yes good girl. My best girl", he praises

When I finish, Yoongi holds my waist and turns us, my back against the bed

Even though I just came, I'm ready for more

As long as it's with Yoongi, I'll always be ready for anything

---------------------------

Yoongi POV

I press my lips to hers, wrapping her legs around me

I can never get enough of her

Enough of her kisses, her moans, her touches, her orgasms, her

Just her

She takes over all my senses, takes over everything until it's just her

And I wouldn't have it any other way

I move inside her, over and over, feeling the pure pleasure she gives me

Her arms keeps me pressed against her, holding me tightly, her small hands gripping my back hard

She moves her lips from mine, dragging kisses along my neck

My body shivers on it's own when she licks a spot that I love

She moves one hand around my neck, into the back of my hair, pulling me against her

"I love you Yoongi", she whispers in my ear, making my entire world spin

That's all I want

Her love

To give her all of mine

"I love you Joanne", I tell her

She holds me tighter, her hips moving against me

God she feels incredible, pushing me closer

The way she feels, so tight, so wet, so warm

Sucking me back inside her, holding me inside, throbbing perfectly

"Fuck baby, I love being inside you. I can stay in you all fucking night"

"And I want you there baby", she murmurs

Lifting my head from her shoulder, I watch her under me, pleasure all over her face, he head back against the pillow as she breathes heavily

So fucking stunning

Taking my hand from around her neck, I kiss her palm again, then lace our fingers together

She kisses then back of my hand, the places our hands on the bed, gripping my hand tightly

She's fucking everything

I feel her getting tighter and I know she's close

Good because I'm right there too

"Yoongi", she whimpers

"Almost jagi", I whisper to her

"Kiss me", she asks

"Always", I answer, pressing my lips to hers

Sliding my tongue in her mouth, she moves hers right against mine

She moves with me and pure bliss takes over as I cum deep inside

Her body shakes, her pulsing getting faster and I feel her cum around me at the same time

"Fuck, Joanne", I moan, "I love you"

"I love you Yoongi", she whimpers, her body arching against mine, her hand squeezing mine

Complete bliss

I lay my head on her chest when we finish, catching my breath, listening to her heart beating hard

She runs her fingers in my sweaty hair, feeling good

Our hands are still wrapped together and I'm not letting go any time soon

After a few minutes, I lift my head to find her smiling at me

"I love you", she says

I will never get tired of hearing that

"I love you", I tell her, making her smile wider

"Stay with me", I ask

She raises her eyebrow, "I am silly"

That's not what I mean

I wanted to ask her something

Something I've been working myself up to ask and I was going to ask tonight

I never expected that we'd tell each other we love each other

I'm worried what I'm going to ask may be moving too fast

But I'm going to ask anyway

"Stay with me always"

"I will baby. I love you. I'm never leaving you"

I nod, "Then can you...move in with me?"

Her eyes widen

"You...you want that?"

I nod, "So much jagi. I...I was going to ask you tonight to move in. I...I was going to wait to tell you I love you until after we possibly lived together for a few weeks if you said yes. I'm glad I said it now though. And I don't want to seem like we're moving too fast-"

"Yes", she blurts

"Yes?", I repeat stupidly

"Yes Yoongi. I want to live with you. More than you can ever know. Being with you all the time.....that's like my dream", she says, blushing

"Funny, that's my dream too"

"Yeah?"

"Yes jagi. I want to be with you always"

"Good", she smiles, the presses her lips to mine

And I kiss her back so happy everything is falling into place

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

2 days later

J POV

"Yoongi you should of taken more care of your hands naekkeo!", I scold, turning his hands over in mine

He has blisters all over from practicing with the sword

"I know baby but the blisters just happened. I had to practice and I just ignored them"

"You should of told me! I could of....I don't know do something? Take care of you?"

I don't really know what I could of done but I could of googled something

He smiles at me, "You already take good care of me jagi"

I smile

I try to

The hairstylist moves around Yoongi, putting the blond wig on him

This is the second and last day of shooting for the video

He did all the filming for the black haired Agust D yesterday

The makeup artist put a cool scar prosthetic on his face and it's been there since yesterday

I had to help him shower and wash his hair, clean his face without messing up the make up

Not that it mattered because I got to see him naked and that's always a good time

I didn't notice the blisters on his hands but to be fair as soon as we got to my apartment, he was naked the whole time

So I was distracted

We went to the dorm after and he had to sleep on his back to avoid messing up the scar

The makeup artist just finished touching up the scar

It looks bad ass

And so does the blond wig they're putting on him

"I like the hair baby", I giggle

"Yeah?"

I nod, "I like how long it is too"

"Hmmm is that your way of telling me to grow out my hair?"

I snort, "No naekkeo. If you want to you can but don't do it for me."

"I was thinking about it. Not this long though", he says

"Whatever you want naekkeo"

"So I was thinking tomorrow we can get boxes and start packing up your apartment?", he asks

I nod, "Yeah ok. I gotta go through stuff to throw away too"

"You don't have to throw anything away"

I do

I don't want to take all my shit and stuff Yoongi's apartment

He shakes his head when I tell him this

"Jagi it's our apartment, not mine. You can fill it with as much stuff as you want"

I shake my head

We've disagreed about this before

I say it's his apartment because he bought it and pays for all the bills

He says it's ours and he added my name as an owner

Which I scolded him for

I tell him I'll pay for the bills, he says he's taking care of it

I give him money, he refuses and puts it in a joint bank account we opened two days ago

He says the money is mine and he's leaving it there

He's so difficult sometimes

I told him I'm not a moocher

Her proceeded to laugh in my face and tell me he knows that

Then he said he loves me, he's paying for the bills and I just need to accept it

So I have

For now

"I have to go through my stuff anyway baby. I have too much and some things I haven't used in years."

He holds my hands tightly, "Ok baby but don't go crazy throwing everything away ok?"

"I won't"

Yoongi and I decided that we'd wait to move until after he filmed the video.

So we're spending next week packing and moving

"I got the guys to help us", he says

"The guys? They weren't too happy about you moving out"

I was with Yoongi when he told them, yesterday after the shoot when we got back to the dorm

And they were less than enthused

Yoongi asked me to go to his room and I heard yelling and arguing

"Yeah well they got over it. I told them we love each other. That is isn't an impulsive decision. That we're starting our lives together. They understood after that"

"Oh alright"

I didn't ask anything last night because I didn't know how the argument ended and I didn't want to upset him

"But Namjoon can't lift any fragile boxes. I don't want anything breaking", I blurt out

Yoongi bursts out laughing, the hair stylist stopping what she was doing because he's laughing so hard too

"You're right jagi. I don't want any broken things either"

I giggle, "Poor Joonie"

He snorts, "No poor stuff"

I laugh, holding his hands tightly while I watch the hairstylist fix the blond wig

He styles the hair so that all of it is up, then he puts a long black silk cloth on his forehead like a bandanna

God he's so hot

"You ok jagi?"

I look up at him to see him smirking at me

"Yeah"

"You sure? I saw your legs clenching together"

I glare at him, "Fine. You're hot. Super sexy. Want to fuck you. Happy?"

He smirks, "Yeah baby. I'm happy my girlfriend is attracted to me"

"Oh shush"

He laughs, standing up when the stylist tells him he's done, pulling me up with him

He's already dressed in the king clothes.

Black silk shirt with a gold dragon on it, a white shirt underneath it, black pants, a black silk robe with gold dragons on the shoulder and black sneakers with white soles

And so many chains around his neck

Fucking hot

The director calls him and he holds my hand, taking me with him

He doesn't let go of me as he talks with the director and asks questions to be clear what he has to do

I don't mind

I like being wherever he is, being near him

"Jagi, you can stay behind the camera and watch ok?", he says to me, startling me out of my thoughts

"Oh are you sure? I don't want to be in the way"

"You're not jagi. It's the same as yesterday remember"

I nod

I stay behind the camera the whole time watching Yoongi act

It's easy for him to act sexy because he fucking is

The smirks, the withering glares, the coy glances

The way he walked down from the throne turned me on

After filming inside the palace and the balcony, everything moves outside to the courtyard

I watch Yoongi lip sync rapping

He's so good at it

His facial expressions and movements are amazing

In between takes the cameras go up to him and the cameraman asks him questions which he answers

Probably for a behind the scenes video that will be uploaded after the video is released

They did this yesterday and when they were filming before

Yoongi actually did an interview yesterday too about the video and the song

I didn't know a music video was so involved

When that finishes, the hair stylist calls Yoongi and does his hair into a half up, half down style

The whole time he's next to me as much as he can be

The director calls him again and he gets up, telling me he'll be right back

When he comes back, he tells me he has a small break

"Are you hungry jagi?"

"Yes", I answer

I'm actually really hungry

He smiles at me, "C'mon hungry baby"

------------------------------------

After we eat, it's time for the sword dance

I'm so fucking excited

To see him in the costume actually doing it

I can't wait

I watch him take some pictures with an intimidating expression

He looks scary but he's such a soft teddy bear

His duality is crazy

He spends a few minutes, swinging the sword around, I guess getting used to it

The director calls to begin and the music comes on

Yoongi starts and I watch open mouthed

He bends his knees and thrusts the sword then turns around swinging the sword in front of him, then pulls it behind him

He practiced so much and he does every move so gracefully and flawlessly

He swings the sword in front of him again, bringing it over his head and pointing it straight out

Then he uses both hands to grip the hilt, slicing down to the side

God he's so cool

My boyfriend is fucking cool and amazing

He swings the sword, spin jumping once, twice, swinging the sword again

Oh my fuck

If I could, I'd jump on him right now, fuck him until we're both sore

He's been so tired the last few days, passing out as soon as we get home or out of the shower

So there's been no sex

But I'm going to fix that tonight

After a few more takes he finishes and comes over to rewatch the footage

He pulls me to him, standing behind me with his arms around my waist, his chin on my shoulder

"Was it good jagi?", he whispers as we watch the footage

"Of course. You're Agust D, Min Suga Genius. Of course it's good"

He bursts out laughing, kissing my cheek, "You're so fucking adorable."

"I try", I tease

"You don't have to. It comes naturally"

I giggle, as I feel more kisses on my cheek

"Ahem", the director says

Yoongi stops kissing me, clearing his throat

"Yes?"

"So this is great footage and we won't need to film this again"

Yoongi nods, "What's next to shoot?"

"Nothing. We're done"

"Alright"

Yoongi thanks the director and everyone, then takes my hand bringing me back to the dressing room

"I'm going get all this off ok and we can go"

I nod, "Ok baby"

He comes closer to me, leaning to my ear, "And when we get home, I'm going to take care of the problem between your legs. All night"

I gulp, nodding in excitement

"I love you", he whispers

"I love you", I answer

He kisses my cheek then I watch him walk away, eager to get home and get the night started

---------------------------

Yoongi POV

"Yoongi!", she cries, her hips moving against my face as I tongue fuck her

I already made her cum twice with my tongue, working on a third

I kept my word and I'm taking care of the problem I made between her legs

Which I'm happy to fix

Keeping her legs wide open, I slide out of her hole, lavishing her clit with soft sucks then dip back into her pulsing hole

I love feeling her pussy throb on my tongue making me eager to get her throbbing on my cock

I move my tongue in and out a few more times, shoving in as far as I can, wiggling around

She moans my name, coming around my tongue

Her legs shake around my head, her fingers twisting my hair as she keeps me against her coming pussy

Her sweet cream pours into my mouth and I eagerly swallow all of it

"Mmm baby, you're cunt is my favorite thing to eat"

"Fuck Yoongi", she moans

"So good jagi. My pussy always feeds me so well", I praise her

"Mmm hmm", she whimpers

Pulling away, I sit up, turning her over

She moves on her hands and knees, her pretty pussy on display for me

I spread her lips open, watching her hole pulse around nothing, dripping so much juice

"Fuck, I'm gonna stuff this hole so we'll jagi. Wreck you, fuck the life from you"

"Yes Yoongi, please!", she cries

Shoving my cock inside her, I bottom out in one stroke with her screaming in pleasure

Her cunt immediately pulses around me, latching on tightly

I take the time to admire the way her pussy lips look wrapped around my cock, her little slit straining so much

"God baby, you're pussy looks so good stuffed with my cock"

"Wanna be good for you", she whines, "Please fuck me naekkeo"

Not wasting another second, I start moving, in and out of her warm cunt, splitting her wide open on my length

"Yes baby yes. Fuck faster! Harder", she yells

Opening her legs more, I bang her hard, watching her cream my cock so well

"So much cream jagi. Love it"

She just moans, taking the pounding I'm giving her

"Such a tight pussy for me. Do you like getting ruined on my cock?"

"Love it!", she cries, her body shaking

I hit her spot, plunging deep inside her over and over, her spasms getting faster

"Yoongi, I'm gonna cum"

"Yes baby", I urge her, "Fall apart around my cock jagi"

"Oh god, Yoongi", she moans, her pussy so tight as she cums

Sheer pleasure hits me hard as her cunt orgasms on me

"Yes jagi! Fuck, yes suck my cock", I yell, squeezing her hips hard, "Fuck I don't know what's better at sucking my cock, your cunt or your mouth"

Both are equally as pleasurable

I watch her cream pour from her cunt, dripping onto the bed

I fuck her harder, through her orgasms, wrapping my arm around her waist, fingers pressed into her clit

When my fingers rub her bump she screams loudly, wetting me so much

Sheathing my cock inside her, I grind against her spot, moving my hips in a circle while I play with her clit

"Yoongi! Don't stop!"

I'm not

I know she likes this just as much when I fuck her

She loves rocking on my cock when she's on top and I can do it for her too

"Yoongi! Yoo-", she shouts, her words cutting off, just screams falling from her mouth

My cock and pelvis get soaked, my eyes on her squirting pussy

"Yes good girl. Gush for me baby", I demand, moving my fingers faster as I begin to thrust into her again

Her squirt flies everywhere but I don't care

I just want her to keep squirting

The first time she did, I was so fucking turned on, I fucked her for hours after

And it turns me on every time to see her cunt gush

When she stops, she moves, sliding her cunt up and down my shaft

I stop moving, letting her fuck my cock, watching her slit split open for me, feeling the bliss she's giving me

"Mmm baby. Can't get enough of my cock huh?"

"Never", she pants, going faster

She hits her spot, crying loudly, then continues to fuck herself there

"Such a good girl, using my cock to get off"

"Mmm hmm", she moans, "Gonna cum on your perfect cock"

"Yeah baby, gimme that cream", I murmur, feeling myself getting close

"Oh god naekkeo!", she moans, coming on my dick

She keeps moving during her orgasms, slamming back into me over and over, her cunt throbbing so hard

And throwing me into an orgasm, ecstasy blinding me

"Joanne! Jagi! Oh fuck", I yell, grabbing her hips and holding her on my cock as I shoot my load deep inside her tight pulsing pussy

It feels fucking amazing, her cunt milking my cock for everything I have

When the pleasure ebbs, I pull out of her, collapsing next to her

She lays down, turning and cuddling into me

"I love you", she murmurs, pressing a kiss to my cheek, making my heart bursts in happiness

I swear I will never get tired of hearing that

"I love you Jo", I tell her, wrapping my arms around her, moving my fingers in her hair

She yawns, her arms around me as I pull the blanekt over us

We're both tired and we need sleep after getting up early today

Shutting the lamp off, I settle into bed with her, kissing her forehead

"Night jagi"

"Night naekkeo"

I close my eyes, so comfortable wrapped in my jagi's arms

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

1 year later

Yoongi POV

Joanne is fixing the black bandana that's across my forehead

"Hurry baby. You have to go back on stage in a few minutes "

She fixes my hair and smooths out my clothes

"Everything's ok?", I ask

"Yeah baby. Perfect. My king", she teases

She grabs the sword off the table handing it to me

"Hold on jagi", I tell her, reaching in my pocket

Now's the time

I'm crazy for doing it now but I'm back in the Daechwita clothes

It's part of the concert tonight

Daechwita today, Chicken Noodle Soup tomorrow

My song, this outfit, the sword reminds me of the first time we said I love you

It has so much more meaning for me than I ever thought it could be

"Yoongi?"

I open the box with one hand, then look at her

She's holding the sword out to me

Instead I kneel down on one knee

"Yoongi....what the fuck are you doing?"

I can't help but laugh

Classic Joanne response

I hold the box up to her with the ring I had made just for her

"What the fuck are you doing?", she gasps, her hand going over her mouth

The fingers in her other hand turn white as she grips the hilt of the sword so hard

"Well, I'm asking you to marry me"

I sound confident but I'm scared

I know she loves me just as much as I love her

But marriage is different from a relationship

Marriage is a huge change, huge commitment

I'm ready and I hope she is too

"I love you Jo. So much. I'd take the time to tell you all the things I love about you but I kinda have to perform in a minute"

She giggles and I feel myself relax a little

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I never want to let you go jagi and I won't. I can't imagine my life without you. Will you marry me Jo? Be my queen?"

"Yes Yoongi. Of course yes!", she yells excitedly

Pure euphoria fills me

She said yes

She's going to marry me

She's going to be my wife

This is one of the best moments of my life

I stand up quickly, crashing my lips to hers in a huge kiss

Her arms wrap around my neck, holding me close as she kisses me back

"Yoongi! C'mon!", Namjoon calls

I pull away from her and quickly put the ring on her finger

I cup her face, looking in her eyes

"Tonight baby. We'll celebrate tonight"

She nods, tears in her eyes, "Yeah baby. Ok. I love you"

"I love you so much", I answer

I kiss her again, Namjoon yelling for me

"Go baby", she whispers, putting the sword in my hand

She kisses me quickly and I leave, jogging to the stage

I quickly sit down on the throne and school my features to make it look like I'm disinterested in everything

But inside, it's the opposite

I'm so happy and I can't wait to be with her later

---------------------------

J POV

I watch Yoongi on stage from the side of the stage, sitting in the throne as the music for Daechwita starts

My heart is overjoyed

I'm engaged

To Min, Yoongi, Suga, Agust D

He wants me for the rest of his life

I'm literally on cloud nine

The love of my life wants me forever

I had no idea he was going to do that

Not at all

I was shocked to hell

And right before he had to go back on stage

Saying no was never an option

Never

I'm ready to be married to Yoongi

Oh god he's going to be my husband

Holy shit

Fucking awesome

I love him so much, so much more than I ever loved anything

I watch the guys rap Yoongi's song as he sits on his throne, looking like he doesn't have a care in the world

He's so freaking handsome

And funny and just the best

God I'm so happy

I look down at the ring

It's beautiful, simple and it glitters beautifully in the sun

He knows me to a T because I love the ring so much

It's everything I could ever want

He's everything I could ever want

My naekkeo

I raise my eyes back to the stage, watching Hobi rapping

Yoongi stands up after Hobi finishes and starts rapping

"I'm a king, I'm a boss"

That line reminds me that he asked me to be his queen

I giggle in my hand

He's so cute

He's my king so it fits that I'm his queen

When the song ends, I watch Yoongi take off his bandanna and his Daechwita clothes on the stage

God, he even makes taking a jacket off a sexy act

He turns his head towards me and mouths I love you

I mouth it back to him and he smiles

He's so beautiful

And he's mine

I smile widely, watching him during the next song, excited for our future

I know that as long as Yoongi is with me it's going to be perfect

[chainofclovers]

OTP headcanon thing - I actually want to know the answers to all of them for everyone because I feel like you will have answers that make me feel insane in the best way!!! But I shall only ask the following! Feel free to answer none of them or all of them OR disregard my pairings and focus on love square overall and not them separately heheh

Ted/Rebecca:

3. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would they pick for one another (I originally read this too fast and thought it was a borrowing clothes type thing and that Ted would become obsessed with Rebecca’s silk robes but mkay 🫠)

10. Would they hate-fuck each other if they were mad at each other (I could see this going various ways, as a role play thing and/or clearly talking beforehand like “hey if we’re ever mad would X be okay” but I’d love to get your take.

Keeley/Rebecca:

1. Who is more protective (I feel like it depends on the situation but also Keeley would be out for blood if anyone made Rebecca feel ANY type of way)

12. Do either of them have a special item that they use when they miss each other?

32. Who said I love you first?

Roy/Rebecca:

17. What is something stupid they probably did together?

29. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for the other?

ONE MORE SORRY NOT SORRY:

Ted/Keeley:

14. What’s the thing they miss most about each other?

20. If you had to change their very first meeting, how would you change it?

Hi Sage I love these and you picked such good ones for each couple, omg

Ted/Rebecca:

3. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would they pick for one another (I originally read this too fast and thought it was a borrowing clothes type thing and that Ted would become obsessed with Rebecca’s silk robes but mkay 🫠)

Love the misread! :)

So, once Ted was certain Rebecca really was okay with him picking out her outfit for the day, I think he'd choose something similar to what she wore on the Christmas they spent together. Soft well-worn jeans, maybe some Nikes he'd bought for her that she hardly ever gets dressed down enough to wear, a supersoft tank top (arms!), a blazer or cardigan depending on the weather, and, I'm sorry to say, a newsboy hat that I personally would not choose but if they're happy, I'm happy.

Rebecca would be extra and pick two outfits...something nice for their day out, like one of his beloved Todd Snyder sweatshirts but in a color he wouldn't have chosen for himself (mustard, perhaps, @talldecafcappuccino?), his dark blue chinos, Nikes he was 'saving' that she'd just make him wear because they're cool and he should enjoy them. And then when they get home, she'd have him change into just an undershirt and borderline obscene sweatpants for obvious reasons, so then as "payback" he'd make her wear her skimpiest pajamas and

oh hey hello didn't see you there let's just get to the next question...

10. Would they hate-fuck each other if they were mad at each other (I could see this going various ways, as a role play thing and/or clearly talking beforehand like “hey if we’re ever mad would X be okay” but I’d love to get your take.

Hmm. My personal headcanon for this is that they wouldn't do that in the heat of the moment, while the emotions are still really intense, but once things were on the way to resolved and all that is left is some bickering (if the fight was kinda dumb) or some processing (if it was serious), that would turn into a sexual thing kind of organically. And as their relationship goes on, I could see them playing around with actually processing things via roleplay, but I don't think that would happen very often at all.

Keeley/Rebecca:

1. Who is more protective (I feel like it depends on the situation but also Keeley would be out for blood if anyone made Rebecca feel ANY type of way)

Definitely depends on the situation, but I think they'd be pretty mutually protective. I think Rebecca would be more likely to be concerned about Keeley's safety, like if they were traveling apart she'd be more likely to fret about how things were going even though she knows Keeley is tough and capable. And I think Keeley would be more likely to be concerned about Rebecca's feelings--like if Rebecca was hurt and not wanting to show it, or if she got embarrassed or upset in public.

12. Do either of them have a special item that they use when they miss each other?

Vibrators, tbh?

But on the more emotional side, when one of them is traveling for work and the other can't be there, I can picture them having a little google doc or album where they put little notes to each other and pictures they've taken and generally jot down memories and mementos from the day to feel more connected, and over time it's like a scrapbook.

32. Who said I love you first?

OK so even though Keeley is ultra effusive, I really like the idea of her being super shy about going there and actually saying a proper "I love you," and one night they're on the way back to one of their places from an evening with friends or something, maybe Rebecca is driving them and it's a regular sober old Tuesday night, very ordinary, and Rebecca gets quiet for a moment and then just says it. And Keeley immediately says it back!

Roy/Rebecca:

17. What is something stupid they probably did together?

This is such an unformed idea but I can picture them in a post-canon mutually single period once they've adjusted to her being his boss more directly and him being head coach and they are the only ones without plans some Friday night on a bye weekend or something and they go out and get drunk and on the walk home sneak into...I don't know, a locked cemetery or something?...and stay talking until the sun is actually coming up and then they've got to sneak back out (sober, so it's harder) before the groundskeeper knows they've spent the night there.

29. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for the other?

This isn't the item, but it's in the spirit of what I mean: cheap lighters. Roy doesn't smoke on the show and Rebecca barely does, but I feel like a cheap lighter is a thing that is easy to lose, easy for a friend to accidentally walk off with, etc., so I like thinking about them having the casual intimacy that helps you remember "oh, she lost her second-to-last lighter, I'll grab one while I'm out." Even though I have written an entire story about Roy buying stuff for Rebecca, I can't think of the perfect item for this example right now, but it's like this. A lighter but not a lighter specifically.

ONE MORE SORRY NOT SORRY:

Ted/Keeley:

14. What’s the thing they miss most about each other?

Ohhh. :( I think they'd miss living in the same place for laughter reasons! Ted doesn't laugh very easily/readily on the show (Sharon, Trent, and Rebecca notably get a for real laugh, although Trent's is indirect while Sharon and Rebecca's are more fully in the moment), and many of the characters get amused/happy Ted, but the true laughter is a rare thing), and I feel like Keeley laughs quite a bit.

I like thinking about Ted feeling very chilled out with Keeley and her making him laugh really naturally. And I like that Keeley, who puts so much effort into being affable and fun and sweet to everyone, would absolutely laugh a lot with Ted but wouldn't feel any pressure to, and might even be more serious or subdued with him than she is with a lot of people, feeling no need to put on a particular demeanor for his benefit.

20. If you had to change their very first meeting, how would you change it?

Hmm, I really love their first meeting and wouldn't actually want to change it. But I think it would be interesting if instead of the slightly protective act of taping up the photo (which I think is a decent character moment primarily because it leads to him getting so startled and her getting to be so funny so early in the show), they interact about the photo in some other way? Like maybe they head straight into talking about the Believe sign, but there's just a half-naked photo of Keeley *right* between Ted and the real Keeley, and the humor of that is slightly more subtle. I probably wouldn't change it, though, but if I had to, that'd be the switch.

From OTP headcanon ask meme.