#i KNOW i literally JUST made one but i cant stop myself and im acc SO proud of this one

[guerrillla]

we’ll make a new plan. we have to try.

[osarina]

CARINAAAAAA ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER AS ALWAYS HEHE <333 i am here to bring my thoughts once again :)) !!

WE START W A BUNCH OF THE POLITICS OF THIS WORLD YIPPEE carina u dont understand how much i love how fleshed out it is I WOULD GLADLY READ A WHOLE THING JST ABT IT LOLLL and KLAUS !!! i love him sm hes becoming a fave of mine :>> !!!!

AND NOT DAZAI BLACKMAILING HER LMAOOOO hes acc so pathetic its embarrassing LOLLLLL PLS HE MADE HER BRING HIM ON A DATE IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TOLD U I LAUGHED AT THT LMAOOOOO HES SO WEIRD NCJNAESRVKJS !!!!!

and dazai staying at her place all the time is tht supposed to be a pm!universe reference ugh hes a leach in every lifetime LMAO BUT THE CONFRONTATION BETWEEN HER AND CHUUYA i imagine dazai is jst sitting under the counter w his gangly ass limbs sticking out like 0-0 LMAOO BUT PLS OFC HE THREATENED TO KILL HIM ON THEIR FIRST MEETING AND DAZAI INSULTS HIM OFCCC LMAOO THEYRE SO STUPID HSJRWJG

but anyways AMAZING CHAPTER ONCE AGAIN I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE !!! i hope ur eye surgery went well and make sure to rest up afterwards bc yeah surgery recovery is hardd (i've had 3, i would know LOL) so i hope its comfortable for u :< !!! AND I SAW UR BDAY COMM OMG i wouldve seen it sooner and wished u a happy bday but i was out on a trip rip BUT ITS SOO PRETTYYYY U HAVE THE BEST COMMS I WILL STAND BY IT AND HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY <333 !!!!! i hope u had a great day and i hope ur week has been well <3 !!

SWEET RED <3333 IM GIVING YOU THE TIGHTEST HUG RIGHT NOW

omg red you have no idea how much i love writing about the political side of this fic. like i literally have to stop myself from getting too much into it because i need to remind myself that most of u are here for the story between dazai and reader and not politics LOLLLLLL like genuinely whenever u make a comment about enjoying the poltiics it makes me all giggly because it's my favorite part of this series truly even if it is just the background, it's so fun to flesh out.

LMAOOOOOOOO I WAS SITTING HERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW DAZAI WOULD REACT TO FINDING THIS OUT AND THEN I WAS LIKE . LOL. I KNOW JUST HOW. HE'S SO LAME IT KILLS ME

YESSSSSS THAT'S A PMREADER UNIVERSE REF HAHAHAHHHH IM ADDING AS MANY AS I CAN IN THERE, THERE'S ANOTHER BIG ONE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

INDHUAISFSZJSIUH in true skk fashion, their first meeting is hostile LOLLLLLL, in every universe, it'll be absolutely on sight for the two of them. and YESSSS HAHAHAH again, dazai is so lame because that's EXACTLY what happened, hiding on the other side of the counter but his legs are too long to hide and he's peeking above the counter to see what's going on ... we hate him HAHAHAH

THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVELY RED<3333 I ADORE YOU, I HOPE YOU'VE HAD A WONDERFUL WEEK

[sentinel-kinjo]

OH MY GOD IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE OVER BLACK GARDEN RIGHT NOW I LITERLALY CAME HERE JUST TO TELL YOU HOW AWESOME IT WAS AND I NOTICED THAT I RECOGNIZED YOU AND OH MY GOD YOU'RE ALSO THE PERSON WHO MADE THAT CHARLES CUEVAS WHUMP POST YOUR IDEAS ARE GENUINELY SO COOL

BUT LIKE BACK TO THE FIC OHHGHGHFHDJFHFJDHDHDH IT WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOD I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT I DONT USUALLY READ LIKE FANTASY AU STUFF BUT HOLY SHIITTT THAT WAS SO COOL OH MY GOD THE FUCKING DETAIL AND WORLDBUILDING SHIT JUST EVERYTHIGN ITS AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE THE WAY YOU CHARACTERIZED BOTH OF THEM AND THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE EVERYHTING HHHHHHSHDHDHDJSJDHFJSJDJDHD AHHHHH I LITERALLY ADORE THIS AU AND I DONT EGEN KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT OUTSIDE OF THAT FIC BUT OH MY GOD IT WAS SUCH A COOL READ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CONTENT OF THEM I WILL GLADLY TAKE IT IACTUALLY ADORE IT SO FUCKING MUCH YOUR WRITING IS THE MOST YUMMY THING EVER PLEASE SHARE MORE OF YOUR FICS BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD THE WAY I CQN PICTURE EVERYTHING SO VIVIDLY AND BEAUTIFLLY AND THE ENDING TOO OH MYGODDDDD YOURE SUCH A GOOD WRITER I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT

BLACK GARDEN (CHARWHIT) ON AO3 GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE GENDERS FR!!!!!!!!!!!

You’re really sweet for this, thank you! There is nothing more on this fantasy au, I don’t make fantasy that often myself and every entity was randomly generated or they were translated into latin to sound cooler haha

As for charwhit content, do expect more from me! I have other Charles ships, but charwhit is pretty close to me :)

And I see a lot of fics I don’t really like so I feel like I just have to write to mitigate it because I’ve been writing for the better part of 6 years roughly

And thanks again for advertising my acc on ao3 for me I swear I was gonna do that yesterday but I was busy studying (getting on the grind for my A Levels on Friday)

(Your pronouns are now black/garden ;))

[areyoudoneyetneon]

no one wants to try and hear me out on y feeligns, not him not her

they only deem it as me trying to argue when im onlu trying to explain myself and when im crying it's only seen like im being a nuisance. its like theyre saying "are u done yet bro?"

like im obviously still sad about it, i obviously need time. why does their have to be a time limit on my feelings?

it feels like im \in so much pain and i know i feel pain so much more than the people i surround myself with cuz i cant stop being such a little bitch

everyone js see's me as a submissive little bitch when im trying to explain myself nand explain that im hurting still

i have no one to talk to, no one to speak to about this and the only thing i can do is be even more pathetic on the internet. its so pathetic and i hate myself so much for it

because she thinks its pathetic to be this way

to be so sensitive and i wish i wasnt

its so pathetic that i cry all the time

people like to preach that its okay to cry but it isnt. everytime i show my vulerbility to anyone it gets taken as annoyance.

"just let me sleep"

its not even like i was arguing with her anymore, i was trying to get reassurance before she sleeped and all she care abt was sleeping

she was so obviously annoyed with me

it was like she was saying "can we wrap this up? ik youre crying rn but i just dont wanna deal with you"

and i know no one wants to deal with me anymore. even if im in the right its taken for ransom like its js some crazy idea that i could be right abt my feelings

sometimes i just really feel like dying and i wish it would work out better

i know i dont deserve to be happy. i deserve to suffer and i deserve to be raped and abused and molested and i dont deserve to be dead

i deserve to be dead and rotting in hell

im trying so hard

im trying so fucking hard to change and i am changing and i know it

i dont want the media i dont want my phone i dont want any of it

obviouslyh that other person didnt care enougn abt my felings or wanting to stay in the friendship any longer. he just completely ignored my feelings and thought more abt himself. he thought "WOW THIS PERSON IS WEIRD THIS PERSON IS WRIRFD" when he's literally lied abt stuff abt me and it made me wanna kill myself. i was in the lowest point that i felt i needed to snort up bath salts.

bath salts thta literally ruin you. i wanted to ruin myself

even i questioned myself if what i did was wrong for such a long time

i hated myself so much and i still do, i still fucking do

i know thst i desrve that kind of person in my life

i hate myself and i just want to quit

quit trying anymore

i wasnt trying to argue with anyone, i was trying to explain myself and whenveer i communicate how i feel, they take it as arguing and then it leads to an argument and i dont think they realize that

or maybe im just stupid and i just shouldnt ssy shit

maybe i am so worthless that my feelings dont matter anymore

no matter if i change

no matter if i change or not

no matter if anything ws forgiven, it doesnt matter

i know im so worthless im so fucking worthless

i know im a lowlife and barely make money, i know im gonna be homeless and die alone i justy know it

ive been trying to get a second job because she knows how worthless i feel when im doign absolutely nothing and she used it against me and it made me so sad too

she used it against me

she used my feeling of worthlessness against me. i feel so worthless i feel so worthless. im trying to mae money with my depop acc too and all she sees is worthlessness i just feel it

and she called me a psycho for the same shit she did to me and other people

i just wish she understood.

everytime i try with people in my life it goes stupid. and when im in the wrong im in the wrong and i get scolded for it but when im in the right i get scolded for it too. i get scolded for everything and i feel like it just means that either way, no matter what i do ill still be terrible. like the creator wanted me to live only for me to enjoy seeing a white bitch suffer and try to kill themself multiple times and it wont even let me.

ill still be terrible even if im doign something right. i cant take it anymore

i cant take it anymore i seriously cant, its so embedded.

its so embedded. i feel like people will hate mwe for the things i do even if its right or workng. its always been that way

forever and ever and ever and ever bro

and the only thing they could be thinking is "stop feeling sorry for yourself"

im breaking down bro please stop judging me for being offended

its obvious. you cant respect someones feelings after they fuck u over so why are u still here listening to me cry

i just wish i was dead and its not ever taken seriously. because i know one day im gonna be on the verge of doing it and people will only be thinking "brah the only reason i didnt try to help is cuz i thought they were bluffing" when in reality i will be pushed over the edge and im not saying its anyones fault. i just wish i hadny donje stupoid shit

[whoreishghost]

i am like Not able to eat basically at all rn and this has beem ongoing for like 3-4 ish weeks now. in the first 2 weeks i cld eat a bit more but still like rlly way way too little and when i had my adhd review i was pretty surprised i had acc gained a bit of weight so i just sort of brushed off the not eating as me misremembering how much ive eaten. but now i like, am basically on a liquid only diet (and i cant drink anything thicker ? ig than like a diet coke bc that also makes me feel sick, tried having a milkshake at one point and i felt soooooo bad) bc 1 i like just dont get hungry at all, and 2 even if i feel ig the closest thing to describe wld be peckish (like im craving a specific flavour or texture) by the time i start eating it i rlly rlly do not want to be and its like, u know when ur so full its like hard to chew and u just want to spit the food out? like that. ive been trying very hard to like force myself thru this by like letting myself eat and buy whatever food i want at literally any time of day bc while it is expensive ive lost kind of a lot of weight v quickly (tw ed: this is about as much as id lose in a month whilst restricting v heavily in just under than 2 weeks). its worked to a degree but honestly im mostly just wasting food and honestly money, and whenever i do manage to eat a bit, itll be like 1 small size serving of poke (currently the only food that has been tolerated even slightly, ig maybe bc it has a "fresh" flavour? idk) eaten over the course or 5-6 hours bc i cldnt eat it faster than that which even then was not rlly tolerated bc i felt fucking disgusting physically, and then basically anything else (eg a genuinely really nice tasting stew my wife made, a mozzarella and avocado sandwich, just an avocado w salt, pasta, etc) makes me so nauseous and uncomfortable that i have to go force myself to throw up right after ive eaten to not literally be in hell for like 8-9 hours (i have an extremely low tolerance for managing nausea and the amazing ability to basically never throw up ever by myself hence the "forcing myself" which yes bad but also i refuse to be regurgitating and getting acid reflux whilst in pain for that whole day because i tried to eat smthn). i originally thought it was probably psychological bc ive been doing v v badly and to a degree it is (i cba to cook or eat rlly) but even when i have the food to eat i cant do it then either? idrk what to do, i have brought it up to drs multiple times who just tell me its poor mental health management and imply i need to ig "try harder". theres also the fact that it is v triggering for my disordered eating brain bc i am unintentionally restricting a lot and i am losing a lot of weight and its been v difficult not to just spiral down that sort of thought process into just not eating at all. feeling kind of like this is either gna randomly stop at some point and itll just be a confusing period of my life or im going to get v v unwell without support and be blamed for it

[rrxnjun]

oh my god thanku really love the date cuz its a national holiday here so every year i'm getting fireworks🤭🩷💗also can i ask when is ur birthday or is that top secret information?👀

oo i'm really glad u were able to keep the idea🥳🥳(but really cuz other wise i might have not found ur page and that is just heartbreaking when i think about it💔)

tbh i'm down if u end up coming just tell me cuz i'm 80% sure i will go🫡 i don't understand why they are not going to vienna like i remember it being so popular for concerts cuz i was so salty about the fact that it's just the neighboring country and they couldn't have come a little bit closer🤣 AHH MAN NOOO THATS SO SAD☹️☹️☹️I HOPE U WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM ONE DAY!!!!☹️

U ARE JUST AMAZING FOR THAT!! best tendencies 🤣 yeah i was very shocked as well but i didn't get edits about it luckily cuz i think that would have made me so much more sad🫡 I UNDERSTAND THAT SO MUCH I WAS THE SAME FOR AGOOD WHILE MANS WAS ON MY MIND 24/7 (and still he is very much there although not as much as he used to:/)🤭 IDK I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE BASICALLY NO TREASURE WRITERS HERE??? but i really think u would be an exceptional writer for them👀sooo i'm waiting for a treasure fic if u don't fall out of them ofc (although that is kinda hard to imo) ooo u know i think just a drabble couldn't hurt anyoneeee🤗 THEN IM WAITING FOR UR FIC EVEN MORE🥳

HOOE UR DOING WELL AS WELL!!! and i'm not too sweet u are too sweet!!!!!🩷💘💘 (and sorry again for the very late reply school sucks☹️)

(and i also wanted to ask that should i send u asks on ur other acc if i see something that i would bring up here just so i don't pollute this page anymore than i already did🤣like i just keep bringing up random topics here so sorry)

(liebestraum anon🌷💕💞)

omg thats so cool???? fireworks on your bday every year must be so amazing woah,,,, my bday is not a top secret dw 😌😌 its quite literally in 2 days (apr 16) lmao i feel very old and i also forgot its my bday this sunday so when my mum mentioned it i was like what already???

hhhh i am too!! i am currently actively writing it just so you know<33 if school doesnt kick my ass as hard (which it might bc i have my first final in 10 days LMAO) i think it should be done before summer AHAHA

have fun if you end up going!!! i had a talk w everyrone and came to the conclusion that i just cant go this year so thats :// maybe next year.... manifesting vienna fr that way i could be home the same day if i tried hard enough. VIENNA USED TO BE SO POPULAR W CONCERTS i swear every pop punk band and their mothers back in the day had a concert there. what happened im gen so confused i keep searching for it on every tour but nowadays no one goes there

you know the song TV by billie eilish??? thOSE edits make me so heartbroken. like 'dont know where you are right now, did you see me on TV?' bitch stop puting mashidam onto those lyrics i will have a full on meltdown. but anyways my man jihoon is still on my mind 24/7 and its gotten even worse man i need serious help i think. somebody call an exorcist. and stop supporting that drabble i will nOT write it (i am trying really hard to contain myself rn)

school sucks and it should be cancelled. >:(( i hope youre doing well i enjoyed hearing from you,, hope life treats you good in the next couple of days!!! mwah

also you can send asks whenever you want!! honestly this is my space and i dont mind clogging the dash djfkdlj if anyone minds these they can just block the tag, they curate their own tumblr experience :p but if you ever wanna send anything to mosviqu or my other blogs i honestly welcome you everywhere!!!

[tayegi]

im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

[jungjayhoe-blog]

how i got to know bts !!

ok so i posted if anyone wanted to know how i got into bts and the shit that happened after that and some of yall dropped me an ask and said yes. so here this post is just gonna be all about how i got into them and stuffs feel free to read or skip bc this is basically just me telling a grandma story but i promise you good content (but dont get your hopes up lol) but i warn you this entire post is all around the place and a mess lmao

so i think i first got to know them like early last year bc i started to get into the anime fandom during that time and i made some fan accounts and shit. and then some accs had like korean guys as their dp and occationally had them on their posts and stuffs. i didnt know who they were. at all. no clue. just like, why do people like korean dudes what on earth. then like their captions on their post were sometimes like “hey if you guys like or listen to bts hmu” or something like that but i didnt really bother much about it

but then i think i really got to know about them around may or june last year bc one day my friend came to school and is all like “omg bts !!!” “omgomg bts is so good and cool i love them 1!11!!” “jungkook is my bias !!” and i heard their name around a few times before but once i noticed my friend likes bts i noticed that a lot of ppl in my school stanned them too (you could say that im a blur child whose unaware of her surrounding) then she got my other friend into bts somehow too. and idk why but i felt so annoyed?? like “who is this bts why does everyone know and like them” and i was so petty about it bc so many ppl were into them. so i said i didnt like kpop and bts???? idk why i even did that???? who was i??? i just didnt like them for no reason???? maybe it was bc theyre popular and everyone couldnt stop talking bout them?????? i think it was probably bc i didnt wanted to be mainstream and shit ha ha hA what was i doing.

ok so fast forward to a month ish later. i rmb i was just scrolling through youtube watching videos and then suddenly, a certain video titled ‘DOPE BTS’ was in my recommendations and i was like “h hEY isnt that the grp everyone’s so hyped about” so naturally i got curious and i clicked on it and wow ive been enlighten?? theyre so beautiful and they cant dance and the song is just ,,.,,.. dope. and then at the side of that mv was the ‘FIRE BTS’ mv so i also watched it and boiii was it lit af. literally those are the only two songs from bts that i listened bc i either refused or was lazy to watch and listen more and they were literally the only two kpop songs that i added in spotify and constantly listened to.

you can tell by the date i added that im not shitting you this is legit. ok moving on. so then i wanted to know who is who so i searched them up, took me awhile to know whos who bc im a stupid shit who literally got confused of taehyung and jungkook bc they ‘look the same’ . this is not the end tho, theres more to how i got into them, also not that quick. you know how once you start watching a vid youtube just start recommending you videos that are like related to the vid you first watch? so yea yt just started recommending me some bts vids but i wasnt interested in them bc i didnt wanted to get too into them as i didnt wanted to be ‘mainstream’ but then this particular vid caught my attention, it was the ‘bts getting kidnap’ vid from AHL. so i clicked on it and watched it then i got curious of the show and i wanted to watch more. so i watched a few episodes but then towards the middle of the show i got bored of it???? so i dropped it and i couldnt really get into bts at all so i stopped anything related to them. but i still listened to those two songs every now and then.

towards the end of the year, i was just scrolling through my explore page on my instagram when i saw like this korean dude pinning another guy against the wall? so i was like wow thats hot i need to find out what that is. so i scrolled through the comments and realized that it was a kdrama called ‘The Lover’ (if you watched it youre amazing ily) so i naturally wanted to watch that and i did. it was amazing. you could say the main reason i watched the drama was bc of the gay couple lol. so then i got to know that the japanese guy playing in the drama was in a kpop group called CROSS GENE (YALL BETTER CHECK THEM OUT AND STAN THEM THEYRE TALENTED AS FCUK AND DESERVE SO MUCH MORE STAN TALENT STAN CROSS GENE) so then i checked out a few of their songs and vids and interviews and i actually got so into them??? like wow i love them all so much my babies. and i was quick in learning their names too. so then i naturally drifted into the kpop fandom (im mostly on twitter for cross gene and then tumblr for bts dont ask me why) i was so into them and i loved them with all my hearteu.

ok moving on. again one day a certain bts mv titled ‘Blood Sweat and Tears’ was in my recommendation. i saw the thumbnail and was like wow they look hella cool so i clicked on it. lets just say ive been enlighten and blessed by that mv. like the mv and the costume and the acting and the song is just liT !! by that time i completely forgotten all their names lmao so i started to search about them too. i watched some vids of them (mostly cracks lmao) and i lowkey got into them. but then cross gene was my first priority then bts. i still didnt wanted ppl to know that i got into bts bc i was trynna keep it lowkey, but then a few of my friends knew i was into Cross Gene. i started to watch more and more bts vids and i actually fell in love with them.

but then the main main reason why i got into bts is pretty stupid i swear. ok so bc i was in the anime fandom before this (i still kinda am) i used ao3 to read fics. so i wanted to know if the bts tag had how many fics written and when i saw it i was like wow wtf bC THERE WERE LITERALLY SO MANY FICS??? so i clicked on it and i wanted to read some fics so i filtered it to ‘hits’ and clicked the fics which summary interested me. can yall guess which pairing i clicked on? if you guessed yoonmin yall are correct. so i read the fic and it was so well written?? and beautiful??? but bare in mind that i have never seen the pairing moments or anything bc i just got into them and didnt rlly search up yoonmin moments (same with taekook) or anything. but then most of the fics pairing i saw was those two and namjin so i was guessing theyre the main ships in the fandom. so from then on i started to read more fics?? but then didnt rlly search up for their moments?? so i basically read it bc it was well written and beautiful but not bc of truly liking the pairings????

then i told myself lol youre reading fics but you dont even know what they did to get ship. i went on tumblr to search more bc this is literally where i used to get my anime shit. so i searched up namjin and wow they actually looked like a married couple to me?? and then i immediately fell in love with them. next i searched up taekook and wow they look so cute tgt i rlly like them?? but then when i seached up yoonmin idk why but dont attack or hate me on this,,,..,, but i just,,, couldnt get into them?? ok but first i forgot to say that i had this friend, shes like the only one who knows i was lowkey into bts. one day she send me a pic of yoonmin and then a pic of viktuuri, it was basically a pic of them pressed close to each other like the anime. i was like aww thats so cute omg !!! it was actually really cute, but then idk i just,,, dont see it as a possible ship for me??? some reason i mostly saw them as brothers but then i still lowkey forced myself to ship them bc majority of the ppl in the fandom shipped them. but then i also read mostly yoonmin fic bc it was just so beautifully written fite me on this but its the truth, so you could say that i read them like a normal book, but not for the ship

but then i still search up for some yoonmin moments and this one video was during some photoshoot were sope was wearing their matching track suits and yoongi and hoseok was so hype with each other and i was like thats so adorable?? i wonder whats their ship???? do they even have a ship?????? but then bc it was a yoonmin video it showed how jimin was jealous and some shit like that but i found it cute?? like how a little brother is jealous that their older sibling is neglecting them?? dont attack me on this please i come in peace

then one, faithful day, idk how, but i think it was a post of someone saying that yoonmin was better that yoonseok (no h8 to that person tho) then i was like what is a yoonseok?? then i searched it up and bih you could say it was love at first sight??? i just love their dynamics and everything. so i searched up fics of them and i was greatly disappointed bc there wasnt many??? but then i stumbled upon the fic called On Patrol (this shit is gr8 yall hAvE to read this its so beautiful and amazing and funny and just wow) so i read it and boiiii do i love it so much. then i got introduced to jikook and love them a lot too. but then i also love taekook, then i got introduced to vmin too and i just love it?? basically i just love all the maknae line pairings i dont get how ppl could hate on one of them.

so i just started to search up a lot on yoonseok moments and fics and i just??? love seeing them together???? so then i just got so into them and they like,,,my ultimate pairing now lmao. then as i go on i got introduced to more rarepairings like taegi and jinmin and i just love them too??

ok so onto how hobi is my bias lol. so when i was lowkey into bts, my first bias was like jin. i just??? love him so much???? his dad jokes and personality and windshield wiper laugh was just like endearing to me???? thats when i decided that he was my bias. but then bc i was into yoonseok a lot i watched a lot of sope videos and thus more of hoseok and yoongi screentime. and i just fell in loveeeeeee with hoseok?? like he could be a ray of sunshine with rainbows one min and then be fcuking disrespectful while performing another minute later. so then you could say hobi just somehow worked his way up to be my bias (i still love jin tho dont get me wrong i love the entire bts) but then like, yoongis and jin are like always wrecking my bias list (also namjoon and the maknae line bC dAMN)

so yea this is basically it. i cant believe you manage to read through that entire mess wow heres a cookie for you !! sorry if you were expecting more and found this boring buttttt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[knamjoonswhore]

1-40 for the music asks! :))

did this take all day??? yes. yes it did. AND SOME REMAIN KINDA UNANSWERED BUT MAN I JUST NEED TO POST THIS ALREADY

1.    a song from the year you were bornpure shores by all saints(was number one when i was born!)


2.    a song that reminds you of schoolfrom nowhere by dan croll it was my alarm for most of year 10 and now whenever i hear it IT (see: THE PAIN) ALL FLOODS BACK TO ME 


3.    a song tied to a specific moment in your lifepumped up kicks by foster the peopleidk if this is lame but i just vividly remember it playing at the first ever house party i went to it was like a Big Deal for me


4.     a song that is not sung in your native languagela boheme by charles aznavourmost songs i listen to rn aren't actually sung in english but this is the one i love the most rn


5.     a song over 5 minutes longspiegel im spiegel by arvo partjust beautiful tbh


6.     a song under 2 minutes longhorn by nick drakethis track is just so simple but pensive and beautiful idk can u tell i love nick drake


7.     an instrumentalnemo egg by thomas newmantell me this song doesn't make u cry just TRY ok


8.     a classical piecenocturne in e-flat major by chopintotally well known piece but its one of my faves


9.     a song with no percussionamar pelos dois by salvador sobralAKA A WORTHY WINNER OF EUROVISION 2017 (tho i love u 2 francesco)


10.   something you’ve heard performed livetime is dancing by ben howardI've seen MANY people live but this was the song that meant the most to me actually hearing it in person


11.   something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed livejohnny belinda by active childhonestly it gives me chills whenever i listen to it so i just rlly wanna hear it live


12.   a song by an artist who’s from where you’re from (town/city/state/country)dancing song by little cometsthey're from my county!! i acc rlly love their music too 


13.   a song made suddenly precious because of a special someonebrown eyed girl by van morrison


14.   a song made suddenly awful because of a special someoneready to start by arcade firei mean suddenly awful is a bit far but it was one of my get over my breakup songs so now when i hear it its.. instantly associated w that which is a SHAME but its still a BANGER ok 


15.   something to BELT SHAMELESSLY tofairytale by alexander rybakno one can stop me,,,,,,, i will ,,, play the air violin,, i will jump up and down,, when that chorus hits,,


16.   something to SCREAM ALONG totheme of king jj from yoiim literally so passionate when i hear this song I'm pure screaming along ily JJ


17.   a song for ragingpain by jimmy eat worldthis my ANGRY SONG


18.   a song that demands lipsyncing into a makeshift microphonehomosapien by pete shelleyhonestly what an iconic gay tune i truly recommend


19.   the last song you had stuck in your headblowing like a storm by elephanzMY SUMMER SONG!!


20.   a song you’re dying to master all the words tochurch by t-paini somewhat embarrassingly can already sing the chorus BUT I NEED THE VERSES


21.   a song that you could SLAY at karaokebohemian like you by the dandy warholsHONESTLY the absolute performance i would make out of this song is2g


22.   a song you can’t help but dance todancing with myself by billy idolhonestly i don't think ANYONE can stop themselves dancing 2 this???


23.   a song that makes you want to dance on a tabletake ya’ dancin’ by say hiwow there’s a recurring them w dance-y songs and the word dance in the title WHO KNEW


24.   a song that makes you wanna STRIPnothings gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sexi dont rlly get if this is like strip with PASSION FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SONG or sensual strip ;))););)) so i went w the latter lol 


25.   a song with a great music videocome by jaingotta love that #aesthetic lol


26.   a song that makes you act out the music video when you hear iti dont know any music videos mannnnn I'm sorry


27.   a song with countingseven deadly sins by man with a mission


28.   a song with spellingkill v. maim by grimes


29.   a song with lots of clappingone, two … one by say hi


30.   a song 40+ years older than youcello song by nick drakenot much explanation other than a BEAUTIFUL SONG


31.   a song you wish your parents didn’t know the words tocant rlly think of any tbh as my mother and i share a collective embarrassing love for shayne ward so i cant call her out for that one :))) 


32.   a song whose lyrics shocked you once you were old enough to understand themHMMMM not quite the same but when i found out what enrique was saying in duele el corazon’s first few verses lets just say i was v shocked xxxx


33.   a song you have ZERO patience forroar by katy perryliterally i’d just rather not thank u xx


34.   a song you’d like your favorite artist to coveri have,,, NO CLUE ,,


35.   a great song you discovered thanks to a moviethe big ship by brian enofrom me, earl and the dying girl! honestly it came from such a beautiful scene too id rec the film


36.   a great song you discovered thanks to televisiontake me home by aqualunghonestly i thank the oc and one tree hill for so many amazing songs this is just one of like 50 


37.   a song you’re ashamed to have in your music libraryhonestly i have absolutely no shame for the music i listen to ,, i’ll listen to things unapologetically on spotify WITHOUT PRIVATE SESSION (thats right)


38.   ok what’s the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37but if there were to be.. any shame… its probs that i like the song hologram by jedward non-ironically : ))


39.   the most played song in your music libraryi have no actual way of knowing (thanks spotify,,) but i know most recently it was amy by the oral cigarettes that id listened to most in like a week


40.   favorite disney songyou’ve got a friend in me by randy newman from toy story!!i feel like i love every single aladdin song so much (PRINCE ALIII FABULOUS HEEE) but ultimately this song is just my fave (i also love the spanish version from TS3 lol)