#forever an open book for you
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@kiisuuumii (the more i listen to myself, the more she says curl into yourself)
#twcpoetry#poeticstories#writerscreed#bitsofstarglow#poetryportal#poemblr#poetblr#poets community#poem#poetry#original poem#original poetry#☆#forever an open book for you
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you think god loves you until the very moment when you start getting obsessed with a piece of media no one in the last five years has Ever thought about
#green rider#elantris#the sharing knife#dark places#the emperors edge#mystic and rider#LADY SHERLOCK SERIES#oh lady sherlock series. its the expectation date for the next book & Me against the world#we need to talk about kevin#tbh ill find a few dozen more if i open my reading app rn#cavendish home for boys and girls i hope you regret what youve done to my brain chemistry forever#cali's mind palace
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📚 Fanfic Classics: A Series
Gender-bending, kind of? It's still the Drarry dynamic we all know and love... with some gender fuckery. To quote the author lazywonderland's words, it's pseudo het (still ends up very slash, if you're particular about that!). Mind the tags/warnings, but I will say that both authors handle the subject matter deftly. What else is fanfiction for if not exploring possibilities, y'know? I enjoyed myself and maybe you will, too!
🪞 Glamour by SilentAuror_HPWorks [Rated E, 23.2k words]
Post-war: Harry is given an assignment: to assist Draco Malfoy as he carries out a month-long disguise that turns out to reveal more than it hides in the end. Warnings: EWE, gender-bending.
🧪 Aletheia by lazywonderland [Rated E, 8.3k words]
Draco finds out Daphne's been shagging Potter and it turns out it's really not that difficult to get a piece of her hair.
art credits + commentary under the cut :)
Images used (in order):
"Lili Elbe" by Gerda Wegener (1928). Used under educational fair use (source). Look at how glamorous the subject is from the details alone! I chose this work because hello, blonde hair + all the (Slytherin) green. She's giving very classy, very mindful, very demure. Draco isn't really mindful or demure in this fic (even when disguised as a girl) but! We love him anyway. I stand by the belief that if Draco were a girl he would be able to live up to his full potential as the ice queen diva he is.
"The Birth of Venus" by Odilon Redon (1912) Because Polyjuice Potion, lol. The artwork title is rather apt considering the premise... also I will never listen to The Sound by The 1975 the same way ever again /pos.
this series was inspired by zeziliazink and bubu0h’s fic covers since i want to make my kindle library look cute too :)
#fellas is it gay if you sleep with a girl version of ur male enemy THEN sleep with him in his male form after & u wanna do it again? Forever#smut recs on a random tuesday.... yeah enjoy#tbh TGCF + the beefleaf ship has Opened My Eyes to genderbending (canon genderfluid characters) but i know its not the same for everyone#however! TRUST ME#kiss my covers#fanfic covers#book covers#drarry fanfic#hpdm#fanfic book covers#drarry book covers#harry x draco#drarry fic recs#hpdm fics#genderbending#lazywonderland#kiss with a list
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my final paper is on nietzsches master slave morality and all I can about is that lestat embodies master morality while louis embodies slave morality
#even the way their books open tvl is so proud and boastful and confident in himself louis is all about being Good and not doing wrong#my god#theyre geniuses#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#also i need to contract his morality w james baldwins so if anyone has resources for that pls share ill love you foreve
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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not to be an asshole but it is kind of relieving whenever i see how confidently people will show off writing that is way worse than mine
#most of my writing is locked behind a vault forever that only i get to access because i think it sbad. and sometimes you crack open a book#or a fic. or whatever. and youre like ohhhh okay maybe im not that bad#personal
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My favorite sub-phenomenon of the already deeply fascinating phenomenon of "queer rep" is how vaguely-allied cishet authors of accidental yaoi always go "I just wrote the character I wanted to write, not a 'gay character'... because character should always come first... but if The Homosexuals find comfort in projecting their lifestyle onto my work, I will allow them this, as they have so little to brighten up their miserable, downtrodden lives" whereas basically every gay author I've ever met, myself included, will go "oh yeah they're a big gay bitch, because I'm a big gay bitch" basically unprompted. Like there are reasons for this, obviously (gay people are used to thinking about sexuality very often, as our orientations are "non-normative," while straight people are used to not giving it a second thought) but on its own it's funny, isn't it
#open mick night#if you can actually guess which books i'm vagueing in this post i'll love you forever
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has anyone considered henry possessing glamrock freddy or am i being a little silly right now
#although for one of you the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole#so don't keep the devil waiting old friend#henry being glamrock freddy makes sense to me#“my friends are down here” william? william afton? old friend?#and if we consider the henry suicide robot thing canon#maybe just maybe#henry “survived” pizzaria simulator#reinstated fazbears as a corporate entity#hired the indie developer#idk where he would stand on the glitchtrap thing but he was shown to be a little silly in he books? maybe he thought afton was fully gone#and was trying to destroy the last parts of him that remained#he realized vanessa was being recruited by afton and set up the pizzaplex#he built the glamrocks? by contextual evidence it makes sense for michael to have built the glamrocks#given the glamrocks similarities to the funtimes including freddys stomach hatch (remember funtime freddy's stomach hatch?)#so if we're saying that michael built the glamrocks then michael wouldve had to have survived pizzaria simulator#which means somewhere along the line they fucked up#and considering that theres roughly 40 years between the bite of 83 and pizzaria simulator#that would mean that henry is like 70 when he burns down freddy fazbears pizza place?#i doubt any rickety ass 70 year old is going#like btw that was a badass line#but henry would be too old for that shit💀#so if we just take henrys suicide animatronic (named baby but probably meaning a baby version of charlie(the og book trilogy))#so what if he got remnant in him when he killed himself and therefore was stuck alive#so he and michael could have plausibly survived pizzasim because of the remnant they were trying to burn away#bc if remnant survived the fnaf3 fire why wouldnt it survive the pizzasim fire?#so saying that henry killed himself around 2000 leaves him at ~50 forever#he couldve also killed himself around 1996 after opening fnaf 2 closing fnaf 2 and reopening/reclosing fnaf 1#leaving him ~45 forever#doesnt matter the year it just matters that hes already dead before pizzaria simulator and after fnaf1 and fnaf2 events#not to mention with william dead around 1993 henry wouldve been the one managing circus baby's entertainment and rentals
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have really been struggling with fantasy lately, can only read murder mysteries. is it because reading the Mistborn trilogy broke something in me? or is it because I don't need fantasy anymore--because I'm not pining longingly for a moment of unexpected inbreaking. I'm in a situation, quite comfortably awaiting the expected ending of simple justice.
#if I could talk about falling in love in a normal way. what a thing that would be#but like#i've HAD the eucatastrophe#his appearance--the timing and surprise of it--was the miracle#now I'm just sort of living with it as a fact of life like. when will someone come along and solve this? in the ONLY way it can be solved??#there's not an infinite number of possible solutions yknow??#it's just justice or injustice#either the murderer is caught or he gets away with it#and the tacit promise when you open the book is that he WILL be caught#forever is the sweetest con and so on#ANYWAY#i will still not be elaborating at this time#I am so sorry for this#in which cate tells stories
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The Master by Kresley Cole is a Lothaire mafia AU and I'm.... not mad.
#romance novel blogging#but srsly lol so far... if you like this book you'll like lothaire#and as a lothaire stan i'm thrilled#like the opening ~encounter~ begins almost exactly like how the first encounter~ in lothaire happens#tempted to do comparisons later lol#on fated mates they compare the professional with the warlord wants forever#and i DO need to reread warlord to see if i agree#buuuuut.... maybe
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talking to people online is like
me: "yeah i really like the murder manga, the one with cannibalism, the one where the mother commits atrocities and its like a mystery-"
idiot who had never read a real book: "yeah i love that one it's so messed up and interesting"
me: "-the bullying flower one and also the age gap/incest romance one"
idiot: "you should fucking kill yourself that's child porn/grooming material/etc"
meanwhile i have books from the last two centuries on my shelf that cover all these topics and more into way more detail that no one seems to view as "immoral."
by the way if you view some books as immoral and needing destroyed, you're a fascist! google Bücherverbrennung. if you think some topics are only for "degenerates" or call people that, guess what! i think you get the point.
#manga#i don't even know how to tag this#people who are unable to process information hypothetically#i think they call themselves antis#antis#literally fascist rhetoric it's kind of wild#they never open a book that's why they don't know people have written this stuff since forever#jesus don't google why alice in wonderland was written you may pass out from self righteousness
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life is actually so easily wonderful if the abusers are not around. heaven on earth. i can breathe for a few days <3 i've already gotten so much done and its only been 24 hours. i have 48 more hours of this relief to savour.
#i did dishes. i cooked. i moved a whole couch. i cleaned a bit. i've read 30% of a book. and i've got More cleaning planned to do#not just Wanting to do it. actually realistically planned. it is Achievable for once. because i dont feel the crushing weight of terror rn#is this how normal people feel ????? is this why life is so easy for everyone else in comparison ????#you can just. do things. without The Terror hanging over you and crushing you to death ???????#i want to cry lol#every time the abusers are away for more than a day i get a brief glimpse into how life could be and i want it to stay#i want to live in this forever#i think i could have a life if i could just. live like this. all the time.#but the fucked up part is that i know if i ever escape from this place i will probably crash and burn for a while lmfao#there is Grief and Suicidality waiting under the surface for me to leave this place. and then it will overwhelm me for a while#but i do hope i can get to a place where i can feel that bc it will mean i have made it out and that there is a path ahead of me#instead of just a closed door that i sit at and hope will open#however i will say... that i still want to die HFDSJKL like thats still very much present. i do want to die quite a lot still#but at least i have some relief from The Terror right now. i can experience joy unrestricted for a few moments here and there#its a little bit frustrating to be having such a pleasant time of relief and to still have ''jfc i need to kill myself soon'' in my head#i mean not just in my head i also feel it in my chest and stomach and feet and hands and shoulders.#but the Thought is echoing and the Feeling is there. even with the pleasant relief of abusers being away.#ARGHHH I DUNNO this sucks but i am enjoying what i can. its lovely to have some space and to let my guard down a little#and the book i am reading is Really good#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide tw#abuse tw
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wish i could just. work at a bookstore
#all of the bookstores around here are owned by indigo and they dont take resumes. you have to apply online#and you can only apply for specific positions in specific locations when those positions open#and they are Never open. ive been checking back nearly every day for almost four months now#and it kills me bc i KNOW i would be good at it and i wouldnt mind doing it it might even be nice#like. yes its still min wage and yes its still customer service/retail at its core but at least its smth i fucking like#id be great at giving book recommendations. i like organizing shelves well enough#i practically know the layout of the store like the back of my hand already considering i go there so often and have my whole life#just please let me do smth i care abt even a little bit. please#working at the grocery store is Fine. its objectively fine#i dont enjoy it but everyone is really nice and i know what im doing#but i dont want to do this forever. i dont even want to be doing it now#a man came in the other day talking abt how i could be the manager someday if i keep at it and i genuinely dread that future#i do not want to get stuck here. i cannot get stuck here forever#levi.txt#i got told my whole life that if i just went to university got ok grades and did Any degree id get a decent job and start my life#and i did it! and now im working the exact same job i had before i had any experience or a degree#and im having to consider starting over and getting another fucking degree in the HOPES itll help at all#i keep having to downgrade any hope i have for the future over and over and it is insanely fucking demoralizing#the least i can want rn is a job at a fucking bookstore
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also more representation thoughts... as a disabled girly who is just now getting used to feeling okay with considering herself disabled (it's not that i had any self hatred, i just didn't really know or understand that i fell under that purview before last year), i cannot stress enough how special it is to be reading a book or taking in any kind of media and the main character is just like you in some way and it's not presented in the stereotypical, 'oh this poor creature' kind of way. like, i listen to a lot of audiobooks and it actually helps me focus because i have to make sure my concentration is working and the character of one book was hard of hearing. and his hearing loss happened when he was a teenager so he from a world that he understood and which understood him to a world where he was just suddenly othered and had to reckon with that because people are not nice about it.
and i read a book where the main character was autistic and she wasn't stereotypical, 'the good doctor' autistc. she was just autistic and she was just like me. and she was also involved in sports and she also had a Husky dog. AND THAT WAS SO COOL! and honestly that was the first time i felt like i saw myself as a character. because forever i've just been using the argument of like... okay well i can empathize at least. even with characters that did look like me because subconsciously (before i knew i was neurodivergent) i knew that they weren't like me.
#i have a lot of thoughts forever and always about this type of stuff actually#and it's always about listening and learning too because i'm not perfect and neither is anybody else#but like we have to not be defensive when conversations are initiated we have to be open to learning because that's how change happens#i'm just rambling at this point#i also have thoughts about refusing to read books about marginalized identities if you have marginalized friends#we can get into that later tho i have to go to the lung doctor
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the lightning thief musical might just be perfect media
#i am so fucking!!!#the motifs and themes are chefs kiss#the way it teases out the characters and themes and plot of the book so evocatively while doing its own thing and keeping it fresh#the voice of it all!!!#it's all ive listened to or thought about for several weeks and no one i know has listened (despite many hints)#like ugh i listened to it forever ago and thought it was fine but kinda meh and cheesy#past me you were WRONG ok you straight up didnt get it#also if this in any way makes u wanna listen do but make sure you go in open minded and ready to accept what they are ready to give u#which is love and friendship and lore and angst and sense of self#and also i have to recommend listening to my curated extended playlist that slots back in 3 of the cut songs#(5 cut songs were released as bonus tracks and theyre all fun but one is more of a bit and one is duplicative of another song in the show)#(as in literally shares some dialogue)#so while try does tread some of the same emotional ground of lost it gets to stay while in the same boat sadly does not#ily tho itsb#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#pjo#tlt musical#post#eta: oh and don't even get me STARTED about the Implications of the roles that are double/triple/etc cast#GABE IS LUKE IS ARES#CLARISSE IS MRS DODDS IS KATIE GARDNER#SALLY IS THE ORACLE IS SILENA IS CHARON#(i know the katie and silena thing doesnt feel like much but oh!! in my heart it is so much)#GROVER IS MR D DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GALAXY BRAIN MEME IN MY HEART RN#and just to close the loop chiron is all other male gods and also medusa and it's so!!!#we don't have time to unpack all that but t#it's always rotating in my mind
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im reading adsom bc of u :D its been on my radar for years but i finally got it from the library bc i want to meet this holland dude ur always talking abt lol
sitting here rubbing my hands together and grinning like an evil maniac. my work on this website is done.
in all seriousness though, i hope you enjoy it! holland vosijk is a massive bastard, but he is a bastard with a special place in my heart, and all of the characters in that series are also wonderful
#and anon. if you ever need a place to put your thoughts on that book. my inbox is forever open to all#adsom
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