#especially after the horrors hes gone through lmao

[isatohlee]

we all know sebastian would watch markiplier playing the fnaf games. but what about the movie? how would he feel about it?

[comingdownwithme]

I love your creepypasta au and designs and lore. Do you have anything for Nina the killer, Jane the killer and clockwork?

Sure! Sorry for the late response! had school n' stuff, and I had to reread the old original stories of some of the creepypastas and catch up on any newer additions since this is (technically) my first run in the fandom.

Anyways! Here's my take on the girls! Hope these are alright! This was like- my first time reading Jane and Nina's and my 2nd time since I was 12 reading Clockwork's ekdjske

Nina the Killer

Growing up with a love for horror, Nina Dagon was a young girl isolated from her fellow peers from a young age, with no one else but her brother and mother to confide in. As she grew, so did her love for the macabre, and that love soon grew into an avid interest in True crime. There, at a young, impressionable age where she's at her most isolated and vulnerable, was when she found the man who would change the course of her life, whether he knew or wanted to, or not.

Out of the Creepypastas I've drawn so far (as of Sept. 2024), she's the youngest adult at 25-ish! (Though this may be subject to change as with the actual ages of other characters ://)

Bilingual! Spanish is her first language, English is her second. She's not the best at it, but she's trying.

Grew up with unrestricted Internet access lmao. This... severely impacted her development and how she acted around people at a young age, and a small part of that influence is still present in her childish demeanor as an adult.

Found out about the death of Mr. And Mrs. Woods, alongside the murder of three other kids in the family's suburbian town following their deaths and the burning of their home, through true crime channels.

That is also how she found out about Jeff and related a little too much to his background (her blorbo from her shows).

Jeff's copycat killer, down to his iconic smile, (though hers is a lot thinner and cleaner than Jeff's). They say that imitation the highest form of flattery.

She gets a chainsaw. I think it looks cool :))

Learned exclusively through true crime. Though she's less graceful or experienced than Jeff, she still managed to keep the police off of her, especially when the first of her bullies had gone missing.

Follows Jeff's murders closely. Wherever he strikes, she strikes soon after.

Jane the Killer

While the fires of his own grief and rage still burned bright, Jane E. Arkensaw was a woman that came home at the wrong time. Despite the risk of death as she stands before someone who's hands were stained with the blood of many- including her own parents- Jane fought with adrenaline and anger coursing through her veins like a drug.

The rest of the night was a blur. All Jane remembers as she looks up at the golden silhouette of her burning home amidst the dark backdrop of the evening was that disgusting, Glasgow smile and the fact that within the chaos, she had managed to hurt him.

Jane was scarred worse than Jeff was if comparing their burns. This was because amidst the fire, Jane stayed in a vain attempt to save her dying parents.

As she stands outside, injured, confused and alone as the weight of exhaustion slowly settles in, she wonders why exactly Jeffery "Jeff the Killer" Woods dragged her out of that house before she could die in that fire.

Jane's father used to be in the military, so she learned a thing or two from him in terms of holding one's own in a fight.

Stole the mask she now wears from a Halloween sale at some nearby store during October. A lot of the things she wears has also been either stolen or bought at cheap from thrift shops.

She a lesbian :))

Hasn't and will never kill anyone. Her main target is Jeff.

Despite that, due to her inexperience and Jeff's tendency to escape without a trace, she's sometimes caught in the scene of his crimes instead, leading her to be indirectly framed when she had first decided to hunt around for the white-hooded killer. She's gotten better now though.

Has a complex relationship with Jeff. Despite her seething hatred for him and his apparent distaste in turn, the killer had helped her escape the cops on several occassions, even feeding her during her earlier days.

Still, she won't and will never forgive him, and she dare not try to make sense of the mind of a literal serial killer.

She was an avid enjoyer of the occult and the supernatural before the incident. She still is now, though she's often busied with other priorities.

Clockwork

Having been raised in a broken family and knowing nothing but pain for most of her life, Natalie Ouelette, even at a young age, felt as if both time and space were working against her, puppeteering her life to entertain whatever twisted Gods were watching over humanity. As the years went on, the line between pain and the mundane- even enjoyable- had began to blur, which is reflected in her art during her younger years which she had used to cope. After a series of continuously concerning events, leading to her hospitalisation at a mental institution, Natalie "Clockwork" Oulette escaped, leaving a trail of blood in her wake, including her so called "family".

Practically homeless (like most of my interpretation of the creepypastas are tbh) and had never changed out of the scrubs she had to wear during her stay at the mental institution.

The mutilation and replacement of her eye was a desperate attempt to regain some control of her life, and in the end, she felt like she had

Often confuses physical pain with other sensations.

Doesn't like being touched. Even with injuries where it would prove easier with someone's help, she'd much rather do it herself, leaving some injuries to heal for far longer and scar worse.

Her jacket was one of the few things she brought along with her after she had ransacked her family home.

Usually targets families, especially its older members. She then stays in the family home for a short moment before she moves on.

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)

I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol

OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh

MCYT ; video game voice actor

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)

"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"

"absolute betrayal"

he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)

"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"

the tweets never end

"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie

💀💀💀💀

once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏

he dies so many times it's not even funny

love him tho

RANBOO

Detroit become human

the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you

the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too

you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst

ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst

if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro

"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"

you shrug

"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"

"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"

"WHAT?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)

was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character

you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao

you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game

she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune

L

he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"

you just nod

"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"

THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM

literally looked at you in horror

"...are you okay?"

you smile and nod

NIKI NIHACHU

life is strange

mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay

she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles

"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"

the cutest

literallt cries at the end of the game

"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"

"why?"

"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"

"just play it, just play it. trust me"

ALEX QUACKITY

twdg s4

basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker

the angst, the heartbreak

he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series

when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming

now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"

"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"

FOOLISH GAMERS

dead by daylight

you va'd multiple characters/killers

and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice

when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours

loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines

"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"

"we get it foolish, you love y/n"

"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"

"my brother in christ, calm down"

[lincolndjarin]

Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 2

chapter two : beware the jabberwock

series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist

a/n : took a while to get out but here is chapter two !!! i have a lot of fun writing this fic bc the pacing is so much different than bks but i'm excited to get this chapter out bc i loved writing it so much and i'm so happy that people enjoy this fic so far !!

pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader

rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings

word count : 15.1k (i'm so sorry idk what happened)

summary : new relationships are tricky, especially when your boyfriend likes to disappear for several days with no explanation.

warnings, etc. : dub con?? i'm gonna tag this with that because the sex is like weird in this?? a lot of it is angry or reluctant from one participant at times so i'm gonna tag it just in case, soulmates au, no outbreak au, language, graphic descriptions of violence, gore, fear, feeling of being stalked, feeling of being watched, me making up things regarding the embalming process, animal death, graphic description of the mortuary process, menstruation, derealization (sort of), smut, oral f!recieving, p in v, biting, just like a lot of mouth stuff lmao, cum eating, rough sex, degradation, sort of dumbification, joel is a bit beastly, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, praise, use of the pet name bunny, nightmares, periods, menstruation, joel is a terrible boyfriend, angry sex, injury, blood, blood drinking, manipulation, not a/b/o but something i made up that is sort of along those lines??, body horror, monsters, predator & prey dynamic, a lot of stuff happens this chap so i might have missed some sorry!!, no physical description of reader but joel is described as being abnormally strong and does pick reader up, there is no actual fucking of a monster yet we can't just do that right out the gate it's a thriller it destroys the thrill if they fuck immediately, that being said; this is a monster fucker fic - proceed accordingly

comments and reblogs are appreciated!

You don’t sleep well after your dream.

Just staring up at the ceiling until the sun is starting to shine through the windows. 

Not that you’ve been sleeping well recently to begin with. And Joel suddenly feels less safe, the grip of his arms around you feels more like it’s trapping you rather than protecting you.

It’s Joel. 

Just take a deep breath. 

It’s Joel. Joel Miller. Sweet, handsome, kind, Joel Miller. Joel who came back, even though you assumed you’d never hear from him again. 

It was nothing more than a dream. 

Stop making up monsters. 

You slip out of his arms, quietly making your way over to the fridge to try and find something to make for breakfast. You haven’t gone shopping in a while, all you’ve got is half a loaf of bread and a few eggs. Good enough. Clicking the stove on you set a pan down, cracking the eggs with a small sizzle as they hit the metal. 

“Up already?” You didn’t hear him wake but when you turn he’s propped up on an elbow watching you. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” Not technically a lie. 

“Are you okay?” He sits up a bit and you can feel him sizing you up. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” 

You aren’t really. 

But you can’t really tell him why, so why bother. 

He stretches his arms above his head as he gets up, making his way over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and resting his head on your shoulder as you flip the eggs. 

“Hungry?” You’re desperate to think about anything but your dreams, as you speak his grip around your waist tightens. 

“I could eat.” You shudder for several reasons as his teeth graze your neck before nipping at you. 

“These should be done in a few minutes, I just gotta make the toast.” You laugh softly as the scruff of his beard brushes against you. 

He makes it too easy to forget your fears. 

“Mhmm.” The vibrations from his humming make you gasp, nearly dropping the spatula in your hand as he squeezes you for a moment. You work around his advances, putting the bread in the toaster as one of his hands slips under your shirt. 

“How many do you want?” You hold up the bread in front of him, trying to get him to pay attention but it’s getting difficult to stay focused on your task when something is currently pressing against your ass. 

“I think I’m fine with just this.” He squeezes the bare flesh of your torso making you yelp a bit as his hand drifts further up. 

“What happened to your third date rule?” He groans as you reach over to the stove, turning the burner off to keep the eggs from burning before turning around in his arms, your back pressed against the counter. 

“We should go to dinner tonight.” He smiles before leaning forward to kiss you but you put a hand between his mouth and yours. 

“What makes you think I’ve forgiven you enough to warrant another date?”

He pouts. His bottom lip sticking out a bit as he frowns. 

“Wouldn’t matter if I did anyway, it would only be the second date.” You shrug. 

“Last night was the second date.” He says rather matter of factly. 

“That didn’t count.” You can’t help the smile that threatens to form on your as his frown deepens. 

“So you wanna wait for two more dates.” 

Definitely not.

“Tonight?” For a brief moment you try and think of anything else you might be doing but you don’t exactly have a social life here in Honey. 

“S’gotta be, I’m spending tomorrow with Ellie and then I’ll be busy with work, gotta catch up on some things.”

Why would he need to catch up if he’s been busy all week?

“Tonight works.” Even after what he put you through you still feel the strangest pull towards him, dragging him to the table with you as you set down a couple plates. 

“I’ll be here at eight?” He sits, an accomplished look on his face. 

“Works for me.”

You have an uneventful breakfast. 

Neither one of you talks about his disappearing act. And eventually he has to leave for work and so do you, so he gets his things together once you eat.

“Get dressed, I’ll drive you to Maria’s, I gotta pick up Tommy anyway.” He takes a sip of whatever juice you had left over in the fridge as you nod, finding something clean to wear before following him out to the truck. 

He makes it too easy.

He smiles like everything is fine and he holds your hand as he drives.

“Have a good day at work.” You return his smile and he leans across the truck cab to kiss your forehead.

“You too, I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.” You wave at him as you walk up to the house, Tommy’s just leaving, giving you a pat on the back as he passes you before jumping in the truck with his brother. With a weak smile you watch them go. 

There are no bodies today.

It’s a paperwork day for both of you. You know Maria’s dying to ask about what happened but she never does, just staring up at you every once in a while, always looking like she’s about to say something before choosing not to. 

You decide to throw her a bone. 

“I’m having dinner with Joel tonight.” You can’t ignore the surprised smile on her face. 

“I’m glad you two seem to be getting along.”

“Yeah, apparently he got caught up in his work for a few days.” You try and get a reaction out of her but she goes emotionless, giving you only a hum in response. 

You don’t try to start another conversation after that until you say good night at the end of your shift. Giving her a small wave before stepping into the misty evening air. 

You keep your eyes on the trees the entire walk home but nothing seems out of sorts and before you know it you’re safe in the camper.

You’re dressed and ready to go when the truck pulls up. You aren’t sure where exactly you’re supposed to be going but you’re ready nonetheless, deciding on just jeans and a plain tshirt. What you aren’t expecting is when Joel steps out of the truck with grocery bags and a grin plastered on his face.

“I thought we could cook together.” He says as he makes his way up the steps inside. 

“You know how to cook?” You try not to sound as surprised as you are but he just laughs. 

“I have two kids. I know how to cook.” He sets the bag on the counter and you open it, he’s brought bread, cheese, and cans of tomato soup. 

“What exactly do you plan on cooking?”

“Grilled cheese.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world and any worries you had about tonight go out the window. 

“You really went all out for tonight.” You raise your eyebrows at him.

He nods, searching through the cabinets for a pan and a pot. 

“When you said cook together you meant you cook and I watch, right?” You lift yourself up onto the counter as he lights the stove. 

“Obviously.” He sets everything down and you watch him fish around the top of the fridge for a few seconds before pulling down a rather dusty old radio. “I knew she had one somewhere.” He grins as he sets it down beside you, plugging it in and fidgeting with the knobs until the static turns into music. 

You don’t recognize the song that plays but he does, as he hums along, opening the two cans, emptying them into the pot. 

You had been so nervous about tonight, nightmares aside, you had expected a totally different Joel, the kind of person who ignores you for a week and expects immediate forgiveness. But instead he continues to be just Joel. Joel, who’s very presence lulls you into an overpowering sense of comfort. The moment he stepped inside the camper the entire space became heavy with his cologne, everything smells like the forest, as if you’re surrounded by pine trees and not the four walls around you. 

“We should do something this week.” He turns to you as he butters the bread, setting it in the pan with a quiet sizzle. 

“Don’t you have work, and Ellie?” You tear open the plastic wrapper on the cheese, handing him a few slices. 

“I do, but I can get Tommy to watch her for a night.” He tosses them down onto the bread before opening a drawer, riffling around until he finds a spatula. 

You hum along to the music with him when the song changes to something familiar, watching him cook. 

He looks at home with you, like he belongs right here. 

You both laugh your way through dinner, it’s outrageous how charming he can be, he tells you about the house he’s building, and how his brother ordered the wrong kind of cement. (You didn’t know there was a wrong kind.) And he tells you about how Ellie’s picked up some curse words, apparently there’s quite an argument happening between the Millers regarding who she learned them from. 

You’ve always been hesitant to talk about work, especially on dates because you never know how people are going to react. Not everyone has the same relationship with death that you have. So when he says, how has working for Maria been? You aren’t exactly sure what to say. 

“It’s good.” 

“That’s it? It’s good?” He looks up at you, giving you that lopsided fucking smirk and you can’t help but just melt at the sight of it. 

“We’ve been… busy, lots of work the last few days, now we’re just funeral planning, this week we’ve got a funeral pretty much everyday, Maria’s swamped.” 

“What made you choose this line of work?”

You never really know how to answer that question. 

“Because I like to play with dead things.” Never gets the laugh you hope for, and the real answer just makes you sad.  

“I like to fix things.” You instinctively break eye contact, staring down at an uneven floor board you’d never noticed before under the table. “I like knowing that I can help people in that way, to fix them one last time.” 

For a moment he doesn’t speak, when you look back up at him he simply looks at you with something that resembles yearning. 

“That’s nice.” 

You’re glad he thinks so. 

He takes the dishes, rinsing them in the sink despite your protests. 

Your palms are getting clammy. 

This is, by his count, your third date. 

Is it weird that this feels scheduled? It was different when you’d brought him home after your first date, that felt natural, your body innately wanted to be with him. How do you even start this kind of thing when it feels so planned? You both know what you want but it feels strange to just outright say, so is this the part where we have sex? 

He dries his hands on his jeans and clears his throat as he turns back to you, holding his hand out, you aren’t really sure what he’s doing until he pulls you up from your seat, wrapping his other arm around your waist.

It isn’t the kind of song you can slow dance to, it’s fast and upbeat.

But as far as you can tell, Joel isn’t the kind of guy who dances in the first place, so you bring your free hand up to his shoulder and join him in his attempts to dance. 

I heat up, I can't cool down

You got me spinning

There isn’t a lot of floor space in the camper but he makes it work by holding you close and mostly just spinning you as he nods along to the music.

'Round and 'round

'Round and 'round and 'round it goes

If his goal was to put you at ease then it’s working, any remaining nerves you have fizzled out completely. You laugh in earnest, not out of fear, as he bumps his nose against yours. 

Where it stops nobody knows

Every time you call my name

I heat up like a burning flame

Burning flame full of desire

Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher

He keeps his forehead flush with yours as you continue to sway your hips back and forth to the beat, the both of you laughing and spinning, you watch curiously as he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. 

Abra abracadabra

I wanna reach out and grab ya

Abra abracadabra

Abracadabra

With a satisfied sigh he opens his eyes, his gaze going from simple infatuation to something darker. When the song ends he pulls you close, so you’re chest to chest and reaches over, turning down the radio. 

“So…” You can’t stop smiling as you stare at him through your lashes. 

“So.” He gently guides you, his hands on your hips as he walks you backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed. 

“I’ve got a long day tomorrow, I should probably get some sleep.” You give him an exaggerated yawn and point at the bed, plastering a mock apologetic look on your face. 

“You’re really funny.” He leans down to give you a chaste kiss before picking you up. His strength is still a wonder to you. 

The way he throws you down onto your bed makes you erupt into a fit of giggles but he certainly isn’t laughing anymore as he drags you by your ankles to the edge of the mattress, a look of concentration on his face now. 

“Joel!” You shriek as you hear the tearing of the zipper on your jeans. 

“M’sorry.” He grumbles, making no effort to slow down as he tugs them down. 

He doesn’t sound sorry.

“It’s a zipper, just unzip it for Christ's sake.” His sudden change in demeanor leaves you a little breathless, in the blink of an eye he’s gone from remarkably gentle to practically unhinged.

“S’too late for that.” He groans softly as he kneels on the camper floor, throwing your legs over his shoulders. 

“You owe me a new pair-” Your voice trails off into a stuttered moan as his mouth latches onto the front of your panties, dragging his tongue over the wet spot that’s been forming all night. 

“We can go to the mall sometime this week.” He mumbles against your cunt before you feel his teeth grazing the fabric before tearing it apart completely. 

“Jesus, Joel!” Instinctively your hands grip his hair as he buries his face between your legs. 

How sharp are his teeth? 

He’s all consuming. Like he’s trying to lay claim to every single part of you. And he’s loud, it’s a good thing you don’t have neighbors. Lewd slurping noises as he laps at your dripping hole like it’s his fucking job. 

He flattens his tongue, dragging it through your folds, for a moment you aren’t sure what he’s doing, but it feels fucking amazing. The way his tongue moves in and out of you, occasionally drawing a lazy circle around your clit, it isn’t like anything anyones ever done before. It takes you a moment to realize that he isn’t necessarily trying to make you feel good (despite the effect it may be having on you,) you’re pretty sure he’s tasting you. 

Drinking you in. If he’s trying to get you off it’s only because he wants more. 

“S’ so sweet.” He mumbles against your thigh, biting the meat there making you cry out a bit before he returns to his work between your legs. 

“Joel- fuck, Joel please.” You manage to stutter out between gasps, when did he become so gruff? You never could have predicted that he would be like this in bed, his grip on you is certain to leave bruises and you can barely think straight after just a few minutes with his head between your thighs. The noises he makes as his lips wrap around your clit are down right pornagraphic. Your vision is starting to go white around the edges as he does the first gentle thing since he started, sucking that bundle of nerves almost lazily. Through shuttered breaths you manage to mumble out his name a few more times your vision whites out completely. 

You’re a little surprised at how quickly he manages to pull an orgasm from you, your skin coated in a thin sheen of sweat as you sit up, pulling him up by his hair as you crash your lips against his, tasting your own slick on his tongue. He moves so feverishly as you feel his hands spreading you again, teasing your entrance with two fingers before slowly pushing them in. 

“Joel- oh my god-” He silences your rambling with his mouth again, swallowing your groan once he’s knuckle deep inside you. His brows furrow in concentration as he starts to pump them in and out of you. “P-please.” You stammer out. 

It’s such a sharp contrast to the Joel you’re used to, he’s so… unruly. 

“So fucking tight.” He mutters before grinding his palm against your clit, pulling another series of gasps from your throat. “Such a pretty, tight, wet cunt.” He whispers against your jaw and you feel a third finger pushing into you. 

You hadn’t expected him to be so vulgar, turns out he’s only all southern manners outside of the bedroom. You’re starting to see stars all over again as you feel the stretch of his thick fingers, he nips at your jaw before pressing them in deep, focusing on grinding the heel of his palm into your clit until you’re soaking his hand, hands tugging at his hair as a second orgasm is ripped out of you with a shudder. Your head falls back with a noisy whine, you can’t decide if you want more or less, his touch burns your skin but you feel so cold without it.  

“Please, please Joel.” You exhale the words, scratching lightly at his shoulders with a whine. 

“Tell me what you want.” His voice is lower than ever and you watch as he unzips his jeans, shoving them off and taking his cock in between his fingers, still slick with your release. Your eyes go wide as he strokes himself a few times, he’s thick, hefty, you’re trying not to stare slack-jawed at the way he fills his own hand.  You grab the bottom of his shirt, pulling it off in an attempt to feel more of his skin against you.

“Fuck me… please.” You tack on the please at the end hoping he doesn’t make you wait much longer as you gawk at his pretty tan skin. You don’t even know where to look, you run your fingers through the coarse sprinkle of black and gray hair on his chest as he crawls further up the bed to hover above you.

He takes your thighs, pushing them up against your stomach, his eyes dark with something reminiscent of hunger. You hook your own arms around your knees to keep yourself in that position as he takes hold of his cock once more, guiding himself into you with a strangled groan.

“Christ…” He mumbles under his breath as he slides just the tip of himself in, your own breath hitching at the size of him. He tilts head town, pressing a soft kiss to your chin. 

He splays his palms out on your thighs, leveraging himself as he carefully rocks his hips back and forth, slowly working himself into you. The camper fills with the sounds of your collective noises. Joel is loud. Grunting and growling as he fully buries himself in your heat. 

He scans your face for signs of distress, tears pricking the corners of your eyes, the tiniest sting from the stretch pulls a whine out of you but you only nod as he stares into your eyes. 

“More, Joel.”

Once he has your approval he starts moving, setting a pace that for a few thrusts is slow before picking up. Quickly becoming downright brutal, every slam of his pelvis against yours drives his cock deeper into you. He feels as if he was made for this, he’s just big enough that it doesn’t hurt, simply an overwhelming feeling of fullness. 

Your body begins to tense up all over again, you wrap your arms around his torso as much as you can in this position, scratching at his back. He leans forward, going in for a kiss before moving around your face, kissing your jaw, forehead, nose, and temples. When he kisses the apples of your cheeks you feel his tongue darting out. 

Did he just lick up a tear? 

He snaps his hips forward, disrupting your train of thought, his teeth barred as he does so, eyes fixed on every one of your reactions. He’s practically snarling as you let your head fall back against the mattress, the head of his cock driving into your g-spot.

“Wanna come again already, bunny?” You make a real spectacle of yourself, hooking your legs around his waist, trying to pull him in deeper. “Greedy little thing…”

“Joel please-”

“Joel please.” He mocks. “Is that all you can say now?” You keen softly but he only grins as you tighten around him. 

“P-please…” You squeak out as he snaps hips forward once more. 

“Come again, I wanna feel this pretty cunt come.” He snarls against your neck, leaving a trail of bites until he reaches your shoulder, a particularly harsh bite has you crying out.

“Joel!” You grit your teeth, a wave of heat washes over you as you come one last time, you feel his tongue dragging across the bite mark. 

It’s all so close to being painful.

Your stomach aches from the overstimulation, and you register a faint stinging feeling when he laps at the bite. Your walls clench around him, strangling his cock, and his hands instantly leave your legs, gripping the sheets instead.  

“Fuck, fuck.” He barely pulls out in time, coming on your stomach. You reach down in your haze, scooping some of his load onto your finger before sliding them between your lips. 

Fucking salted caramel. 

Sweet and sticky on your tongue. 

He pants above you, watching with an intoxicated look as you dip your fingers into his cum over and over again until your stomach is bare.

He nudges his nose against yours, rubbing every part of his face against you for a few minutes. It’s wildly intimate and you're once again a little taken aback by his sudden tone shift. 

“Was that okay?” He drawls, once again searching your face for any indication that you might not be. 

You nod, beaming up at him and letting him rest the bridge of his nose on yours for a few moments more before you slip out of his arms, stepping into the bathroom. You relieve yourself before going to sort yourself out in the mirror. 

You’re bleeding. 

Where he bit you, two mirroring crescents, red and angry on your shoulder, leaking blood. 

“Shit.” You grab a handful of toilet paper, wiping it clean before rinsing it in the sink and returning to him.  

“Everything okay?” He’s pulled his boxers on, tossing you his shirt which you’re eager to put on. You don’t want him to see the bite. 

“Everything’s fine.” You crawl back up into the bed beside him. 

He stays the night, pulling you to his chest and caging you in with his arms. 

And you aren’t haunted by dreams. 

In the morning a part of you worries he’ll disappear all over again, you’re a little surprised when he texts you just a few minutes after he drives off.  [ can’t wait to see you again soon bunny ]

Joel follows through on his promise. 

A few days later he picks you up from work and drives you to the outlet mall about an hour away, saying he needs to get some stuff for Ellie as well. Apparently she likes to throw plates so he wants to find the kind that suction onto the table. As he drives the radio plays a country song you don’t recognize which he hums along to as you watch the trees outside the window. 

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about my aunt.” He turns the music down once you start speaking. 

“Darlene? You probably know her better than I do.” He doesn’t seem very eager to talk about her but it only makes you want to know more. 

“Doubt it. All I know about her is that she wasn’t close with anyone in my family.”

“You weren’t close? But she left you her camper.”

“That’s why I need to know anything you might know about her, I know nothing.” He seems hesitant and you’re worried if you keep pushing it he won’t tell you anything at all. 

“She was a lonely old woman, had me fix things for her often, I honestly think she just wanted company.” His voice softens a bit as he says it. 

“She didn’t have friends here in Honey?” 

“Not that I know of, she was a bit of a shut in, sweetest woman I’ve ever met, just a bit… skittish. She worked from home and I’m pretty sure someone delivered her groceries. The only time I ever saw her outside was when I was fixing her roof and she sat in a lawn chair to talk to me while I did.” 

“She worked from home?” 

“Yeah, something on her laptop, I’m not entirely sure.” You’ve never seen a laptop. 

You’ve been living in the camper for nearly six months and you’ve never seen a laptop. 

But that’s not what interests you the most right now. 

“What do you mean by skittish?” You’re trying to gauge his reaction but he doesn’t seem to have one. 

“Maybe skittish isn’t the right word. Eccentric? Some of the kids in town called her ditzy Darlene.” His expression sours as he says it. 

“That’s horrible.”

“It was.”

“Why?” He seems more reluctant than ever but now you’re just upset on behalf of the woman who left you everything.

“She fed into a lot of the legends around town, and didn't seem to have any hobbies outside of monster hunting.”

“Monster hunting?”

“She was the only local who went to the gift shops, searching for a monster she swears she saw.”

Sounds familiar.

“Did she ever find any?” 

“Monsters?” He laughs. “Not that I know of.”

“Did you think she was crazy?”

“I think she was lonely, and I think when you spend that much time alone your mind can wander.”

“But did you think she was crazy?” 

“No.” He puts an end to the conversation by putting the truck in park. You hadn’t even realized you were there, the outlet mall is so small. His southern manners remain persistent as he jogs around the truck to open your door for you, holding onto you to provide balance as you hop out.

You aren’t sure where anything is so you just follow him, taking his hand in yours as you walk. He takes you into a clothing store you don’t recognize the name of and waits patiently as you try on a few different pairs of jeans. It’s been quite some time since you’ve bought new clothes so you get a few pairs, you’re worried it’s boring for him to just wait outside the changing room but when you walk out with three pairs slung over your arm he still looks happy as can be. When you go to pay he opens his wallet, silencing your protests with a reminder that it’s his fault you needed new jeans in the first place. 

After that he takes his time, the two of you walk hand in hand through each store, he doesn’t even look around most of them, seemingly content with just spending time with you. 

He manages to find a few rubber bowls with suction cup bottoms for Ellie as well as some spanish flashcards and you decide to get a pair of blue hiking boots, if you’re gonna be walking everywhere you might as well be comfortable. 

At the last store you stop at you find a nice perfume, spraying a bit into the air and inhaling. It reminds you of springtime, it’s light, floral, but when Joel catches a whiff of it he scrunches his nose up. 

“You don’t like it?” You set the bottle back down. 

“I like the way you smell now.” You frown, trying to remember what shampoo and body wash you’ve been using. If you recall correctly it’s just some generic brand you’d bought ages ago. 

“I didn’t know you spoke spanish?” You remark, pointing at the bag containing the cards, opting to just change the subject rather than give yourself a headache trying to remember. 

“I don’t, but Sarah does and she’s been insisting I teach Ellie while she’s gone, something about it being better if she’s bilingual.”

“I think that’s sweet.” You swing your arms a bit, keeping his hand in yours as he walks you out of the store and in the direction of the truck. 

“Of course you think it’s sweet, you're not the one with two daughters who will be using their secret language against you.” He takes his keys from his pocket, clicking the unlock button. 

“It’s not a secret language, if your baby can learn it then I’m sure you can.” He helps you up into the truck once more, shutting the door behind you.

It’s almost comically difficult to keep your hands off him when you’re alone, especially now that you have a taste for him. Even just being in the truck with the windows up is suffocating, the smell of his aftershave or his laundry detergent drives you mad the moment you’re stuck in an enclosed space with him. 

You slide across the truck so you’re in the middle seat as he pulls out of the parking lot. It’s like you feel sick when you aren’t touching him, like you’re suffering from this barely noticeable nausea and you don’t realize you were even dealing with it until it’s gone. 

You watch curiously as he keeps one hand on the wheel and brings the other to rest on your thigh. His shoulders relax the moment he does, his frown lines smooth themselves out a bit. 

He’s just so warm, and he’s so nice to be near. Today he smells like a candle you used to have, something you lit around Christmas time. He smells like cookies and peppermint. 

You can’t help but turn your head a bit, trying to discreetly inhale the scent of his jacket.

To say that Joel Miller becomes the perfect boyfriend would be an understatement. 

He drives you to work, he sends you flowers, (which gets confusing in a funeral home.) he holds open doors, and he always texts you back. 

Quite literally everything gets better once he’s back in your life. 

You don’t get anymore mangled bodies, only a few from the nursing home and one from a nearby hospital, it’s mostly just funeral planning these days. You see Joel daily, Maria and Tommy seem a little surprised every time he dotes on you and you can’t help but wonder what he’s done to earn such a reaction, but he’s so sweet you hardly care. Between both of you working and him having a toddler you’re shocked he makes as much time for you as he does. You see him every morning when he takes you into work but he also insists on seeing you twice a week, whether it’s going out, or ordering in, or just dragging him into your bed, he always makes time for you. 

You even spend a little time with Ellie. Joel spends a lot of time with her at the funeral home so you often see her in little doses, she seems indifferent towards you which worries you until you realize she acts that way towards everyone but her father. It’s remarkable to watch him with her, he’s soft with you but with her it’s something else entirely. She sticks to him like glue and you’ve never once seen him look bothered by that fact, you assume she’d get bored just sitting in his arms but she never does. He likes to tell her jokes and you aren’t even sure she understands them but without fail she bursts into a fit of giggles every time he gets to the punchline. 

It’s good with him, everything is easier. Everything just sort of makes sense with Joel and for the first time in a long time everything feels right. 

Until the morning you wake up, a sticky feeling between your legs and an ache in your belly.

“Shit.” You roll out of bed, quickly shedding your clothes, tossing them into the laundry bin before texting Joel.

[ hot date idea for us, you drive me to the laundromat and then watch me do my laundry ] 

Setting your phone down you hop into the shower, washing away the blood with a groan, you spend far too long under the water, when you finally step out and check your phone you’re running late, you pull open the curtains a bit to see if Joel’s already waiting for you but much to your confusion you aren’t met with the familiar sight of the truck.

You had never really discussed him driving you to work; it was just something he’d started doing, you probably shouldn’t have expected it to be a permanent thing. 

You haphazardly pull yourself together, tossing on whatever looks clean before grabbing your phone and bag, rushing out the door. 

The cool morning air stings your face as you quickly walk down the familiar gravel driveway towards the home, you’re already preparing your excuse for why you’re so late but Maria doesn’t even notice as you step into the office, she’s busy on a call.

You recognize the look on her face, she’s talking to a family. You step inside, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from her desk as you wait. She seems to be at the end of the conversation. 

You couldn’t be more grateful that she takes care of telling the families. You’ve never been good at that kind of thing. She hangs up with a gentle, goodbye, smiling up at you as you try and imagine a situation in which your job was to deliver such terrible news. 

The ache in your stomach snaps you back to reality. 

Fuck. You forgot to bring anything.

“Any chance you have a pad?” You give her an apologetic look.

Based on her expression you’d think you’d just asked her for a lung. Several emotions flash across her face in an instant, but mostly she looks like someone who just solved a riddle that had been plaguing them for quite some time. She snaps out of it quickly though, giving you a curt nod. 

“Of course, let me just run upstairs.”

It’s an older man, graying and wearing what is obviously hiking gear.

Poor guy. 

He’s torn apart, the worst you’ve seen so far, his limbs have all been individually torn off, they lay, separated from the rest of him on the table. 

It’s an open casket so you’re gonna be down here all day. 

You text Joel one last time before setting your phone down. 

[ gonna be pretty busy all day, got another bear attack, i’ll call you when i’m on my way home. ] 

With that you get to work, putting on your gown and gloves, and starting at the torn clothes. It’s hard to figure out where his clothes start and his skin ends with the condition his body is in but you manage to cut him out of everything so you can properly assess the damage. 

You’re getting used to seeing these messy wounds, the sight of torn flesh. It should be a pretty easy job all things considered. He’ll be in a suit so you’ll just reattach everything and no one will ever have to see the extent of his wounds. 

You check everything twice, making sure that you’ve got the left and right correct before you start sewing things back up. You try to mimic the way you saw Maria do it, careful and practiced stitches.

You finish the legs easily enough, both had been ripped off just above the knee, you’re about to start on the arms when you drop the needle in surprise. 

How didn’t you realize this before? 

You’ve been preparing these bodies for weeks now and you’ve never once noticed one harrowing detail. You’re used to tending to bodies that have already seen a pathologist. Bodies with their organs in a bag, with their blood drained, ready to be prepared for a funeral or cremation. And you’ve been so focused on doing a good job to impress Maria that you’ve failed to take note of the most obvious thing before you. 

There’s no blood. 

None of the bodies you’ve tended to from the bear attacks have blood, all of their organs remain intact but because Maria declares cause of death you know she doesn’t drain them. You’ve drained everyone who hasn’t been sent in from a bear attack. 

Maybe Maria drained them before you got in.

But that isn’t possible, you know that, you’d have seen the equipment, and you’ve gotten bodies straight from the scene, already drained. 

You reach over to grab a scalpel off the table. 

You shouldn’t do this. You could probably be fired for it, but as long as no one finds out you’ll be fine. All the damage to this cadaver has been done to its limbs, so hypothetically, if you were to slice open his chest you would see blood, dried or otherwise. 

So you do just that. 

You carve out a small, clean, incision vertically on his sternum. 

Nothing. 

You’ve got a pen flashlight that you shine into his chest cavity only to find his organs. Dry. 

He’s been completely drained of his blood. 

You stitch him up quickly, finishing the job as swiftly as possible before running up the stairs, mumbling a rushed excuse to Maria before running the entire way home. 

Joel doesn’t text you back. 

This isn’t happening, not again, he wouldn’t do this again. 

You feel like you’re gonna be sick. 

An image flashes through your mind. 

Joel.

Lips curled back in a snarl. 

No. That wasn’t real, it was just a dream. Although the line between the two has been getting blurrier. 

Joel isn’t out there draining people of their blood, that’s absurd, even if he goes missing and those dates happen to coincide with the days that you get bloodless corpses. 

It’s a coincidence. 

Or it isn’t. 

Maybe for one second you should just let yourself consider the possibility that something is terribly wrong. 

You thoroughly check the two bodies you get the next day. 

They come in together, a couple from out of state hiking in the park. Neither one of them bleeds. 

The day after that you wake up early and walk to the funeral home as the sun rises. You watch the hearse wheel in the body, and you make sure you’re the first person to see her. 

A tragically beautiful woman who appears to be in her late forties, maybe early fifties. 

None of her wounds are bloody, and when you open her chest cavity it’s like someone drank her insides with a straw. 

You’re nearly at your breaking point, nothing you’re looking at makes any sense. 

You spend that night in bed, unable to sleep as you try and figure out what the hell is going on. 

Joel doesn’t answer your calls. 

He doesn’t respond to your several angry texts. 

And something deep down within you tells you that asking Maria would be a mistake. 

You’re completely alone on this. 

So you call Maria and you tell her that you’re sick and won’t be in tomorrow. Then you look up the bus schedule in and out of town.

The bus comes in and out of Honey twice, every other day. Lucky for you, today is one of the days the bus will be there in the morning, and return in the evening. 

The bus stop is empty when you arrive, the misty morning air clings to your skin as you stare out into the surrounding forest. 

Something is out there. 

And you’re gonna find out what it is.

You can’t keep being afraid, this is your home now, and you won’t be driven away by some imaginary monster. 

It starts to drizzle when you look out the window of the bus, watching Honey disappear behind you. 

You have a plan. 

Well sort of. 

You’re going to find some literature on the subject. You’re sick of feeling crazy so you’re going to prove yourself right. Something is very wrong in Honey, and monster or not, you’re going to figure it out. 

You don’t catch the name of the town you end up in, you just get off at the stop that looks the most tourist friendly, assuming that there has to be a book store somewhere in town. 

You only have to walk main street for a few minutes before you find it. 

It’s a quaint little shop tucked in between an attorney's office and a gift shop. 

Betty’s Books

Dimly lit and jam packed wall to wall with books, a small elderly woman sits behind the counter, reading a Stephen King novel. 

“Excuse me?” You clear your throat as she looks up at you over her wiry glasses. 

“How can I help you?” Her smile is warm, it fills the entire shop with an aura of comfort. 

You’re going to sound ridiculous. And the moment you do this you’ll be speaking it into existence. 

You don’t have any other options. 

“Do you have anything on local urban legends?” You try not to sound too ashamed but her smile never falters as she points. 

“Back left corner, dear.” 

“Thank you.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.” She’s already buried her nose back in her book before you turn towards the rest of the shop. 

You begin searching the shelves for anything that could possibly help you, there’s several different books on bigfoot and the loch ness monster. There are a lot of empty spaces between books and you have to assume that this is what most tourists are buying. 

People in search of ghosts and myths. 

Are you any better than them? 

Running out into the darkness, looking for a monster you very well may have made up. 

You look through a few more options before finally settling on a thick, leather bound book, you pull it from its place and stare down at the embossed cover. 

A Beginners Guide to Cryptozoology : West Virginian Monsters 

You aren’t going to find a better place to start. 

You move back towards the front, stopping in front of the children's section.

Lullabies & Poems for Bedtime 

A rabbit with a pocket watch, asleep under a tree, adorns the cover. 

Ellie might like that. 

Even if you’re madder than hell at her father. 

You grab the little white book, setting both onto the counter, paying before stepping out into the rain. You’ve got hours until the bus back to Honey returns so you quickly make your way to a diner across the street, keeping the books tucked into your jacket. 

A little bell chimes as you push the door open, sitting yourself at one of the free booths you set the books down on the table. 

The waitress brings you coffee and water as you set your jacket aside, you order a plate of fries just to give you something to do as you watch the rain on the diner windows for a bit. 

Eventually you know you can’t put it off anymore so you open up the book and sit back, taking care to read every single page, not wanting to miss a thing. 

The first thing you learn is that there are a startling number of unnamed monsters. 

It covers the basics in the first few chapters, mothman, bigfoot, chupacabra, and werewolves, but the second half of the book is entirely monsters with no names, only ink drawing accompanying the descriptions. For a while you find nothing, eventually ordering a milkshake which you sip as you skim the pages.

After two hours you’re about to give up when you stumble across a page that finally shows something familiar. 

A drawing of a body, mangled, with wounds you recognize. 

Five slashes across the chest, both arms completely torn off. 

This creature is thought to reside only in heavily wooded areas, it was speculated to be located in the southern United States for several decades before disappearing completely. 

Since then people have claimed to have seen this creature in many different locations although the majority seem to be centralized to the east coast of North America, resembling a lich, or a wendigo. 

When you turn the page the illustration of the monster stares back at you. 

It’s hard to make out what’s what and it looks mostly like inky scribbles but within those lines you see the creature you’ve been imagining. Long, sharp limbs, massive shoulders, and a face almost reminiscent of a humans, everything is just… distorted. 

While technically unnamed, there are many unique pieces of folklore attached to this specific creature. Witnesses claim to have seen this monster transform from human to creature and vice versa, as if they walk among us in their free time. 

What sets the creature apart from many other creatures of this variety is their affinity for humans. More often than not we’ve gotten reports of these creatures seeking out human mates.

We have several different claims from people saying they’ve seen the transformation happen right before their very eyes. One man claimed to have watched his sister in law turn at Thanksgiving dinner. Another says that he saw a cousin's boyfriend disappear into the woods during a wedding, transforming into a beast as he did. 

According to old legends there is thought to be a connection between these creatures and their mates, quite literally bonding them in blood. The males are believed to be linked to their human mates menstrual cycles; if they have one, the females are linked to their own. There are many different descriptions of what this means for human mates. Some believe that when this creature comes in contact with their mate that they permanently revert to their human forms. Others believe they’re hunger for flesh only grows after coming in contact with them.

But most believe that they eat their mate. Plain and simple. That their blood is more potent to them than anyone else’s, so much so that any love they may harbor for them is irrelevant, they are simply blinded by their bloodlust. 

Its victims often resemble that of an animal attack. Bodies torn apart, mangled, often believers of this legend are ‘disproven’ because of this fact, but there is always one thing that separates this creature's kills from that of an animal. Animals who eat their victims will do exactly that, eat them, this creature does no such thing, while it does massacre its victims it will rarely consume its flesh, preferring the taste of blood. 

There have been no confirmed sightings of these creatures and we have been unable to trace its origins or obtain any photographic evidence, maybe it really is just an animal. 

Monster or bear? It’s up to you.

It’s up to you. 

You slam the book shut.

It’s nonsense. 

Joel isn’t some blood drinking, period monster. But you came all this way, looking for a monster, and seemingly you’ve found it. 

You pick up the little book for Ellie, taking a sip of your coffee. 

Maybe it’ll make you feel better. 

You open it to find a familiar little song on the inside of the cover.

I know you,

I walked with you once upon a dream. 

You flip through it, mostly admiring the beautiful illustrations, they look like watercolors. There’s a frog with a crown, princesses with flowing gowns and witches grinning up at you from the pages. It isn’t until some random page in the middle that you actually stop to read the poem. The drawing accompanying this one isn’t colorful, only black ink, a drastic change from everything so far. 

Jabberwocky

By: Lewis Carroll 

It unsettles you to look at so you focus on the words instead. You know this creature, it’s from Alice in Wonderland. The poem is whimsical, you can imagine a child finding it rather entertaining should a parent read it with enthusiasm. You don’t have a parent reading it to you though, you’re alone, staring at the lines that have caught your eye. 

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

No more books today. 

When you check your phone there are no new notifications. So Joel is either a terrible boyfriend or a potential murderer. 

How comforting. 

Fuck it. 

You click on his contact.

[ TEXT ME BACK RIGHT NOW. OR WE’RE THROUGH. ] 

Monsters aren’t real. 

Joel Miller is just the worst boyfriend (soon to be ex-boyfriend) on the planet. 

It doesn’t help that you catch a glimpse of a tampon wrapper in your bag when you throw your phone back into it. 

It’s a coincidence. 

You can’t say anything to anyone about this, how would it look if ditzy Darlene’s niece showed up and started spinning stories of her own? You can’t do it, you know exactly what people would say. They’d say it ran in the family and they’d find a reason to be cruel to her even in death. 

So you take the bus home in silence. 

For the next few days barely speak to Maria other than polite greetings, you’re certain she doesn’t notice, both of you are swamped. You’ve got a body everyday the rest of the week and she’s up to her neck in paperwork. 

And Joel never texts.

Maria’s juggling Ellie and trying to fill out papers when you get in the next morning. 

“Thank god you’re here, can you run upstairs and grab something for me, there’s a little makeup bag on the counter in the bathroom, I forgot it earlier and I’m waiting on a phone call regarding the couple we had.” 

“Of course.” You set your things down before reaching for Ellie. “Here, let me take her so you can do that.”

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you.” Almost as if on cue the phone rings the moment she says it. You head towards the stairs, the toddler in your arms scrunches up her face as if trying to recall your identity. 

“You know me, silly, I’m friends with your daddy.” At the mention of her father she seems to relax and you open the door at the top of the stairs. 

You’ve never actually been in this part of the house before, you’ve always stayed in the business section. You don’t get a chance to look around, the bathroom is the first door on your left. A bag the size of a pencil box is on the counter, you hand it to Ellie, her little hands play with the bag as you carefully bounce her in your arms. 

“Do you know where your daddy is?” You poke her in the belly making her smile at you for the first time. “Not gonna snitch?” You tickle her side, earning a tiny giggle. You let her play with the zipper as you bring her back downstairs. “Any bodies today?” You yell as you descend the stairs. 

“Had a cremation from the home this morning, I’ve just got a lot of papers, I’m planning six funerals simultaneously right now.” 

Six massacred corpses in six days. 

“Where’s Tommy?” Ellie puts up a bit of a fight for the bag but you set it down on the desk just in time to watch Marias grip on her pen tighten. 

Yikes. Must be a sore spot right now. 

“He’s got a work thing, left me with that little monster.” She uses the pen to point at the toddler who’s already starting to get antsy in your arms. 

If you’ve got no bodies today you might as well offer to help.

“I can watch Ellie if you’d like.” 

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Of course not, want me to keep her upstairs? I’m sure you don’t want me watching her in the basement.” You laugh a little as she nods. 

“You really are a lifesaver, I don’t know how I managed without you.” 

“Oh stop, you clearly did just fine before I came along.” Your face gets a bit hot at the compliment. 

“I’ll be up in a few hours once I finish up here, you two have fun.” She doesn’t give any instruction beyond that so you just take Ellie back upstairs. You haven’t spent much time with her beyond the small interactions in passing but you know she doesn’t like doing nothing unless it’s with Joel. She’s trying to get out of your arms the second you’re at the top of the stairs. You set her down in the entryway and she’s already running into the kitchen. 

You don’t want to snoop but you actually get to take a good look around as Ellie settles in front of a pile of notebooks and a mess of crayons on the kitchen floor. It’s a pretty open floor plan, the kitchen and living room are all one big room and from the looks of it they must watch Ellie often, an outsider would assume they have a child of their own. A play pen is set up on the floor of the living room and toys are scattered everywhere. 

“Are you hungry, sweetie? Do you want something to eat?” There’s different snacks on the counter as you walk over to where she’s playing. 

“Yes please.” Her voice is clear and high pitched, you’re actually a little surprised, you didn’t even know she could talk, she’s always silent when you’re around. There’s an assortment of different things on the counter so you just find something that’s already open. Handing her a little container of apple puffs, she doesn’t look up from her drawings, just blindly reaching over and grabbing a handful as you sit at the counter to watch over her. 

She’s a very well behaved baby all things considered. 

You have to stop her from drawing on the walls a few times and at one point she stuffed a handful of food between the couch cushions but other than that she’s rather relaxed. She sits and draws mostly, only occasionally getting up and doing a few laps around the room before returning to her papers. 

At one point she makes her way to where you’re sitting, slapping your leg to get your attention until you pick her up, she points to the window above the sink and when you take her there she simply stares out at the trees. 

She’s focused on the woods as you watch her expression, her face is oddly serious. 

After a few minutes you set her down, unease filling your body. She doesn’t seem to mind though as she runs back to her drawings, you return to the counter, checking your phone for a few minutes until she appears in your peripherals once more, tapping your leg again, handing you one of her drawings. 

At several different moments this week you’ve thought that you’ve reached your breaking point. 

None of those compare to how you feel when you pick up the paper Ellie had been scribbling on. 

It’s crude and mostly indiscernible but you know exactly what you’re looking at. 

A monster. 

A broad shouldered, sharp toothed, crayon monster. 

You stare at the little girl, trying to keep your composure as you pick her up, setting her in your lap and pointing at the mess of scribbles on the page. 

You feel crazier than ever, asking a toddler for help but no one else is around and you’re running out of options. 

“Can you tell me what that is, sweetie? What did you draw?” You hand her the drawing back which she crumples a bit in her fist before setting it on the counter, you point again at the creature. “Ellie, honey, can you tell me what this is please?” You’re doing your best to keep calm as she kicks her legs a bit before staring up at you with a frown. 

“Daddy?” For someone so small she speaks so loudly and clearly, but you just shake your head. 

“I know, honey, you want your daddy, I wish I knew where he was but you’re stuck with me today.” You smooth out her hair a bit as she scrunches up her face, looking rather upset. 

“Tío.” She points down at the drawing before looking back at you for approval, you just smile. You feel like an idiot. Asking a child for help. A child who can barely speak. 

“It’s okay, you’re too little to understand.” You hold her under one arm as you walk around the counter to the fridge. “How about I get you some juice.” 

You find a clean sippy cup, pouring her some apple juice before setting her back down, handing her the cup and searching through your bag. 

“I almost forgot, I got you a present.” She perks up immediately, setting her cup down as you hold the little white book out towards her.

“Thanks!” Her eyes light up as she takes it from you, it’s one of the few times you’ve seen her smile without her father being in the room, sitting on the floor before looking back up at you, tapping the spot next to her until you sit as well. 

“Do you want me to read it to you?” You watch as she sets it down in front of her, she’s surprisingly gentle as she flips open the cover. 

“No thank you.” She’s enraptured by the illustrations, not caring for the text, laying down on her stomach, and sitting up on her elbows as she slowly flips through the pages, her eyes wide as she points out everything she sees to you. You rub her back, nodding along, you’re mostly just happy that she’s excited. 

She kicks her feet as she explains the big red bird on the page to you. After a few more minutes of her babbling she turns the page again.

Jabberwocky 

She giggles wildly as she points at the page and suddenly you’re filled with dread all over again. She’s positively captivated by the drawing, refusing to turn to a different page when you urge her to move on.

You don’t speak again until Maria comes upstairs to check on her, when you do it’s to tell her you aren’t feeling well, and you’re going home.

You’re going on a monster hunt. 

There’s nothing left to do. You need to soothe your fears before you lose it completely and you aren’t going to stare at the trees and wonder for the rest of your life. 

You stop at one of the tourist traps in town, you need supplies for tonight. 

A camera. 

It’s an easy in and out stop. You buy a polaroid camera, and several packs of film. 

No one will believe you otherwise, you’ll be ridiculed the same way they did Darlene. You think of her as you walk back home, what if she was right about everything? She spent her life in fear of a monster no one believed in and they mocked her for it, and at the end of the day she might have been right. 

Maybe the monster is real and it isn’t Joel. 

Either way you’re going into the woods tonight. Your backpack is packed with the essentials, your water bottle, camera, an extra film pack, one of the knives from the kitchen (wrapped in a towel,) and a flashlight. 

Once you’re packed you put your boots and jacket on and head out. 

It’s like everything quiets down the moment you step outside. The forest hums, beckoning you in, and how could you refuse such an offer? 

You manage to keep your hands steady as you flip the switch on your flashlight, stepping into the trees. It feels so much colder now than it did when you were walking home. 

With dusk settling the sun is no longer there to keep you warm or to guide your way. You haven’t actually seen much of the forest, so you decide to walk in a straight line to avoid getting lost as you carefully step over a tangle of roots. As a child you loved nothing more than playing in the woods behind your house. But after just half an hour in these woods you suddenly resent the trees, they no longer bring you any comfort as you carry on into the cold dark night. You’re just about to give up and turn back around when suddenly something changes.  

Without warning and with seemingly no cause you feel a chill rush through your body, your hair standing on end. Your blood runs cold and you hear a sound you’re all too familiar with at this point. 

The tearing sound rips through the air. 

Your instincts tell you that you’ve become prey rather suddenly in this situation but you can’t turn back now, not when you can prove to yourself that you aren’t losing it. 

As quietly as possible you reach back into your pack, grabbing the camera already loaded with film and holding it in your free hand. The beam coming from your flashlight trembles slightly as you carry on towards the noise. 

It’s louder than it ever was in the dreams. In the dreams it was subdued, almost as if you subconsciously knew that it couldn’t hurt you. As you carry onward you can’t help but wonder if you’re just imagining it at this point. It doesn’t seem to get louder as you walk. It simply fills the air completely, you’re being directed purely by your instincts. You know it’s this way as you move forward a few more steps. 

You scan the trees with your light, seeing nothing out of the ordinary until you finally see it. Your finger instinctively flips off your flashlight. 

You almost didn’t catch it. 

But your legs keep moving and you get closer and closer to the hunched figure. 

It’s hard to describe, like your eyes don’t want to accept what you’re seeing. A voice in the back of your mind tells you that you’re getting too close but you can’t seem to stop yourself as you carry on until you can get a good look at it. 

You can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as you realize it isn’t Joel. But that relief only lasts a moment as you see what you’re actually dealing with. 

You aren’t sure how big it is. It’s big. That much is clear but it’s crouched down, it’s almost human, it may have once been human. You’re having trouble making out most of it in only the moonlight. It’s less broad than the illustrations you’ve seen, almost slim, with how close you are now you can see that it’s eating. 

A buck, one of the biggest ones you’ve ever seen is splayed out across some rocks. It’s stomach has been ripped open. You watch, with morbid fascination as it digs its maw deeper into the gore. 

How curious, it’s wearing clothes. Or at least the remains of some clothing, a bit of fabric clings to its crooked spine, it wears the tattered collar of a shirt like a necklace. Navy blue sweatpants stretch around the creature's waist, the fabric pulled taut, it looks like they make it just past its knees. The elastic around the ankles has snapped. 

The funniest part of all of this is that you feel nothing but fear for the creature. You aren’t disgusted and you certainly don’t hate it. You’re just afraid, so afraid that before you can slap your hand over your mouth you burst into a peal of laughter. 

Fuck. 

It all happens so fast, you aren’t ready in the slightest to be face to face with it and suddenly you are, purely on instinct your hand twitches and with the flash of the camera you get a single moment to stare at it. 

It’s so close to being human.

It’s mouth is too big, a blood soaked tongue falling past a row of jagged, pointed teeth. It’s almost like someone stretched out a person's face like it was made of clay. And it’s male. Intricate branching horns stretch out from under the hair crowning its head. 

“The doe’s don’t have antlers.”

Your dad was a hunter, you know your antlers,  you aren’t exactly sure but if it was a deer it would be a thirteen pointer. You should run, you’re about to but then you finally look it in the eye, just as the final remnants of the camera flash flicker out. 

There is something worse than hunger, or thirst, or rage in its eyes, if that was all there was you could scream or cry. But this leaves you frozen in place. 

Recognition. 

Like it knows you. 

And the moment it recognizes you it snarls, an ear-piercing sound that rips through the quiet of the forest, blood spewing from its maw at you, flecks of crimson tint your clothes and hands as your eyes go wide.

It’s a good thing your legs move faster than your brain, you’re already sprinting away from the creature. 

You lose your flashlight almost immediately but you know where you’re going, you couldn’t be more thankful for your decision to go in a straight line. You don’t stop moving, running blindly back the way you came, never once daring to look behind you. 

You know it’s there, you can hear it, and you can feel it. 

Its breath is hot on your heels, you can hear the branches splintering directly behind you. Everything is a blur, stray branches sting your exposed skin but you don’t stop, you can’t, your muscles ache as you push onward, keeping your hands out in front of you to guide you through the darkness until you finally see the road up ahead. 

You’re nearly there, almost feeling relief, almost. 

An icy hand wraps around your ankle, you’re yanked backwards before you can process what’s going on, your back dragging across the forest floor and in an instant you’re beneath it. 

This is it. 

You wanted a monster, you got one. And now you’re going to die for it. It snarls as its maw falls open, you’re face to face with a row of shimmering, gore smeared teeth. This is it. 

He smells like cinnamon. 

It tilts its head ninety degrees, its jaw closing in on your throat as you close your eyes, tears now flow freely down your face and finally you can’t contain your terror anymore. 

You scream. 

A trembling shriek falling from your lips and much to your confusion a killing blow never comes. After one more shuddering breath you open your eyes only to find you’re just staring up at the trees. You sit up, still out of breath. 

He’s a few feet away now. 

Thrashing around frantically as he stumbles backwards. As if your scream had upset him. He bellows, his twisted hands clutching his skull like he’s angry with himself. You cover your ears instinctively when it snarls in pain.

He can’t help it. 

You’re scrambling to your feet once more, giving him one final glance, you look into each other's eyes.

“Run.” 

It speaks. 

You break into a sprint once more, not daring to stop until your feet touch pavement. You don’t get the sense that you’re being followed anymore but you’re still in shambles. The adrenaline is slowly starting to fizzle out and you’re painfully aware of the wound you sustained during that encounter. Your ankle is torn up, two deep gashes from where it grabbed you are bleeding an alarming amount. You stumble, the sight of it making you nauseous. 

You get a moment's respite and you manage to compose yourself enough to retrieve your phone from your pocket. Walking backwards, keeping your eyes on the forest as you slowly continue to back away. In your desperation your blood stained fingertips frantically swipe across your phone screen, you don’t realize until it’s too late that you’re calling the only person who isn’t going to answer. 

Yet when you bring the phone to your ear you hear a click. 

“Joel?” You can’t fucking believe it. He actually picked up. 

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” He can definitely hear the panic in your voice. 

You just break down.

“I’m by the road, on the way from Maria’s to my camper, I- I need you to come get me, please, it’s- it’s following me, but I think I lost it please, Joel.” You’re in hysterics as you catch a glimpse of one of the few streetlights down the road. You hear the sound of keys and you swear you hear Maria saying something in the background but you’re too frenzied to focus on that. 

“Who’s following you? Stay right there m’on my way.” You can hear the truck starting in the background as you keep running, not daring to stop even though it doesn’t feel like you’re being pursued anymore. 

“The monster… in the woods… it’s not a bear Joel.” You’re out of breath when you finally stop, standing in the middle of the road underneath the street lamp, spinning around to try and somehow keep an eye on all of the darkness around you. 

“Stay where you are, I’ll be there in two minutes, okay? Stay right where you are.” You’re about to beg him to hurry when the line goes dead. 

You must look like a mad woman. Standing in the middle of the street, covered in blood, and spinning in circles to try and keep an eye on every single direction as you listen for any signs of movement. 

Your heartbeat never slows, you can hear it pounding in the crushing silence that surrounds you. 

It only takes a few minutes before you see headlights approaching in the distance. You don’t even let the truck come to a full stop as you open the door and jump in, closing it behind you as you scramble towards Joel as if he could protect you from the goliath you saw in the darkness. 

“Drive! Now Joel, go!” You yell as he accelerates just to the point of following the speed limit as he heads towards your camper. 

“Bunny, please, calm down.” He wraps the hand that isn’t on the steering wheel around you but you shove him off, sliding back to the other side of the truck. 

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Joel, not after what I just went through, I saw it, a real monster grabbed me.” You’re stumbling over your words, trying to get them out as quickly as possible.

“Slow down, just tell me what happened.”

“I told you on the phone, I just found a fucking monster, Joel, that’s what happened.”

He’s gone silent now.

He probably thinks you’re crazy. 

That’s fine. You know you aren’t, you saw it, watched it feed. There’s deer blood on your boots. 

“You didn’t see a monster.” When you look he’s shaking worse than you are. You don’t dare turn your head further but you watch in your peripheral as he grips the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. 

He’s lying. 

Why would he lie? 

“I did, I took a-.” You reach into your bag and your stomach fills with dread as you realize you dropped the camera. 

“You didn’t. You’ve been spending too much time alone, and you shouldn’t be going out in the woods by yourself to begin with.” 

“And who’s fault is it that I’ve been alone?” You snap.

He doesn’t have a response to that. And you don’t have anything else to say, not like he’d believe you if you did. You should probably break up with him, for several reasons. 

Except you can’t. 

If you do, how will you stop people from being needlessly murdered? He may not be the monster, but he knows something, and you need to find out what it is. 

So you’ll ‘forgive’ him. Again. Because you need to get to the bottom of this.

And maybe, despite it all, you’re still terribly attached to him. He keeps disappearing, without warning and with halfhearted excuses as to why and all you can think about right now is how badly you missed him, and how badly you need him.  

“Does Tommy have Ellie tonight?” You mumble, trying not to sound too irritated. 

“I was stopping in to see her before leaving her with Maria for the night when you called.”

“Why?”

“I was gonna come over here and apologize.” He sounds just as sincere as he did last time but you still scoff.

“What’s the excuse this time?” When you turn to scowl at him he looks guilty.

“I was out of town on a work trip.”

“And you couldn’t answer your phone.”

“I forgot my charger at home.”

It’s a preconceived lie. You’re certain of it based on how quick he replies, and it’s not even a good one. He could have borrowed a coworker's phone or bought a new charger; it wouldn't have been difficult. But he doesn’t want you to know where he really was. 

Every bit of this confuses you. 

You saw something in the woods, but it wasn’t Joel? Joel was with Ellie and then he was with you, he couldn’t have been slaughtering lost hikers. It doesn’t make sense. One thing is for certain though, and it’s that you can’t break up with Joel until you know what's going on or more people are going to be killed by that thing you saw in the woods. You aren’t really sure what to call it, but you know that you found the thing that’s been killing. 

And he knows something about it. 

He had no reason to get as rattled as he did if he didn't know something about what you saw. So you can’t break up with him, not until you figure this all out. Until then you just have to play the part of a clueless, loving girlfriend. Which shouldn’t be too hard considering the fact that for some reason there is still a sick and twisted attraction to him despite everything you know, settling in your stomach. You bite your tongue, going the rest of the short drive in silence. When he finally pulls up to the camper the engine goes quiet as he turns the key. You had no intention of inviting him in but you won’t stop him if he follows. 

You slam the truck door shut, stomping up to the door, his footsteps following close behind. 

“Let’s talk about this.” He reaches for your arm as you’re unlocking the door but you just shove him off. You leave it open, kicking your shoes off as you slip out of your jacket as you flip on the lights. 

“I don’t want to talk.” He shuts the door behind him, you note that he locks it behind him. 

How presumptuous. 

Correct, but presumptuous. 

“You’re clearly upset, bunny.” He kneels down, untying his own boots before kicking them off. You glare down at him until he stands, trying to pull you into his arms but you just shove him away again. His eyes go wide as he takes you in.

Based on his reaction you really must be quite a sight. 

“Jesus, you’re a mess.” He looks genuinely concerned but you brush it off. 

“Thanks.” You scoff but when you look down you realize you’ve been leaving a trail of blood in your wake. 

“Do you have a first aid kit?” You should send him away. Tend to yourself and go to bed, but instead you just point to the cabinet containing the kit, sitting on the table as he retrieves it, tossing it down beside you. He doesn’t ask what happened, grimacing as he lifts your leg to examine your ankle.

He doesn’t need to ask, he knows what happened. 

He tends to your wounds in silence. You wince as he wipes the lacerations on your ankle, they look bad enough that you consider just going to the hospital but he doesn’t seem too worried. They’re just shallow enough that you don’t think you’ll need stitches. 

You don’t watch as he sprays it with antiseptic, quickly wrapping it in a layer of gauze and then bandages. 

When he’s finished you’re ready to get angry with him all over again but the moment you open your mouth to yell at him he grabs you by the chin, taking a clean piece of gauze and gently dabbing the thin cuts that litter your face. 

You stare up at the ceiling light, refusing to meet his gaze. 

He tends to every one of them, taking extra care as he smears ointment on each one. When he’s finished he takes anything bloodied and gathers it in his hand, standing to toss them into the bin under the sink. You don’t turn, but out of the corner of your eye you see him bring his hand to his mouth. 

Your blood.

He tasted your blood. 

You can feel the bile rising in your throat but you just swallow it back down. 

“Now we can talk.” He makes his way back over to you but you just shake your head. 

“I already told you, I don’t wanna talk.” 

“Bunny-” He takes another step towards you. 

“Shut up.” 

“Don’t be like that.” There’s real remorse in his eyes, you might even feel bad if you didn’t know that he was lying to you. 

“Shut. Up.” You push him so he stumbles back onto the bed. “I’m not crazy.” He props himself up on his elbows to look at you as you say it.

“I know.” He sounds almost apologetic. 

“Take your clothes off.” You mumble, already tossing your shirt to the side. 

“Are you sure?” 

You’re sure that he knows what’s out there in the woods and he isn’t telling you. 

“I am.” You kick your jeans off to emphasize your point. You know he won’t deny you this. Whatever sick, unexplainable force pulls you into his arms affects him as it does you. You don’t just want him, you need him. 

You hadn’t realized it until he’d disappeared again, but now you couldn’t be more aware. It’s as if your entire life you’ve felt wrong. You’ve been in a state of discomfort for as long as you can remember, like a vital part of you was missing. But you got used to it, and you learned to live with the odd sensation of never feeling like you're in the right place, nowhere ever felt like home. 

Joel feels like home, in a sort of twisted way. 

From the moment you first saw him everything cleared up. It was like you had finally found your center of balance, and when he disappeared he took all of that with him. 

This is more than just attraction. 

With that he tugs his flannel off, you grab the bottom of his shirt, impatiently pulling it up over his head, not wanting to look him in the eyes, you stare at his shoulders as you climb up onto the bed, straddling his lap. 

“I really think we should talk-” He starts again so you reach behind yourself, unclasping your bra, glaring at him as you let it drop.

“Then talk.” 

He looks at you like you’re something to eat. 

“That’s not fair.” He finally manages to pull his gaze off of your chest, looking you in the eyes, his pupils swallowing his irises leaving you to stare into the darkness of his eyes.  

“There’s nothing to talk about, you went away for work and you forgot your phone charger.” You reach between the two of you to remove his belt, tossing it behind him on the bed before trying to unzip his jeans. “It was just an unfortunate series of circumstances.” You grumble before lifting yourself off his lap so he can shove his jeans off.

He’s glaring at you now. Good. He should know that you’re challenging him. Everything from this point on is a game, you just have to catch him in a lie. You grind down against the straining fabric of his boxers, hands on his shoulders to balance yourself as you rub yourself against his clothed erection, drawing a hiss from between his teeth. Before you know it his hands are gripping the hem of your panties. 

“Go on Joel, rip them off. I know you’re plenty capable.” You say it like the accusation it is. He’s strong enough to do a lot of things, you aren’t sure if tearing a person in half is one of those things but you’re determined to find out. He knows what you’re implying but he does it anyway, grabbing the fabric on either side of your hips and easily tearing them to shreds. 

“You don’t know what you do to me.” He murmurs, leaning forward to press his forehead to yours. 

You do. 

He does the same to you. A carnal desire, your most basic human instincts are reduced to nothing the moment your skin is against his. 

You don’t waste any time, slipping your hand under the waistband of his underwear, watching his cock spring free, slapping against his stomach. You unceremoniously spit in your hand before taking him in your fist, watching his jaw go slack as you rake your nails against the underside of his cock, feeling him twitch in your hand. You keep your eyes trained on his face as you notch him at your entrance, tilting your head to the side as you hesitate. 

The veins in his neck jut out as you slide the head of his cock over your clit, hissing softly as you do. 

He’s purposefully showing restraint. 

He clutches the sheets, his knuckles go pale and you can’t help but wonder if he isn’t touching you because he’s worried he’ll hurt you. 

“Fuck me, Joel.” You lean forward, biting his stupidly plush bottom lip. He doesn’t move his hands from where they are and you can’t help but scowl against his mouth.   

He’s holding back. 

He knows exactly what you’re doing and he’s trying to prove you wrong. How long has he been holding back?

In one sharp motion you slide down on his cock, forcing an obscene moan out of yourself, but it isn’t loud enough to cover the ripping sound. Your eyes wander downward, his are rolled back but all you can focus on now is your torn bed sheets in his clenched fist. 

Holy hell.

“Fuck. Me.” You rasp out, lifting your hips again before dropping them back down. His head falls forward this time, his mouth latching onto your shoulder, muffling his growl.

You know that growl. 

“Fuck me or leave, Joel.” You take his face in your hand, roughly pulling him back so he’s eye to eye with you.

You heard that growl in the woods less than an hour ago. 

“You’re playing with fire, bunny.” He glares at you but you just stare right back. 

“I won’t say it again.” You give him one last warning and he finally brings his hands to your hips, with a grunt he lifts you up, slamming you back down on his cock, you can feel him brushing against your cervix as you cry out. 

At his age he shouldn’t be able to do that. 

He does it again, moving you like a ragdoll up and down on his length, a lewd squelching fills the air, egging him on. He tilts his head down, his teeth scrape against your breast, and you can hear a roar building in his throat. He fucks you like a fleshlight, moving you effortlessly up and down on his cock, your chest bouncing with each thrust.

He shouldn’t be able to do any of this.

Neither one of you speaks, you can feel the camper swaying ever so slightly as he slams into you, thrusting his hips up to meet yours as he pulls you down onto him. 

He makes it look effortless. 

Another growl rips through the air and you know neither one of you is gonna last long if he keeps going at this pace. He hammers into your sensitive spots with every thrust, your clit rubbing against the dark curls along his pelvis.

He’s merciless with the force at which he moves you, he’s started nipping at your shoulder and you know he’s close as they get harder and harder. You finally feel him break the skin and just like that he’s lifting you off of him, his mouth clamped down on your flesh, you feel his cum between your legs as he finishes on your folds. The sensation of him slipping out of you sends you over the edge right along with him, your stomach tightening as you groan, letting your head fall forward onto him.

You feel better already. 

Not good, just better. 

He manages to keep you both upright for a few more moments before collapsing down on the mattress with you in his arms. 

And then it’s just quiet.

Until the mattress squeaks as you get up. Wiping yourself off with a towel and turning the lights off before returning to bed without a word. He’s the one who finally breaks the silence.  

“If you want me to leave, I’ll leave.”

 “You can stay.” You mumble, rolling over to face away from him. 

It’s better if you know where he is. 

That’s what you tell yourself. 

It’s easier to swallow that excuse than the truth, that you can’t shake the terror from your encounter with the creature and now amount of fucking is going to change that. You don’t want to be alone, no matter how angry you are. He doesn’t seem to take the hint though, snaking his arm under yours and pulling you to his chest. 

You start to push him away but you feel a wave of calm wash over you when he does so you just settle back against him. You close your eyes, praying sleep might come but all you see in the darkness is that open maw closing in on you. 

You know that growl. 

It isn’t Joel. It can’t be Joel, he was with Ellie and then he was with you. 

It wasn’t Joel.

You’re more than used to waking up in the woods at this point. Monsters and men torment you in your dreams whenever they get the chance to. 

But tonight is different. 

You don’t feel the cold, wetness of the forest floor on your back before you open your eyes. Instead you only feel steel, you make an attempt to sit up on instinct but you can’t. In a panic you open your eyes to find yourself cuffed to the cadaver carrier from Marias basement. 

This can’t be happening. 

This is the kind of dream you get after your first body. 

You’ve had this dream, years ago when you’d just started studying mortuary sciences. Although now it feels worse, more ominous than it had previously. 

That probably has to do with the fact that you can’t move. 

In response to that petrifying thought you begin to uselessly tug on the cuffs, your ankles and wrists attached to the cold unforgiving steel of the table you’ve sewn countless bodies back together on. 

You don’t strap cadavers down, there’s no need to. 

The door swings open and you’re thankfully able to sit up enough to watch Maria and Joel walk in, solemn looks on both of their faces. 

You open your mouth to call for help but something stops you.

No.

No, no, no.

Your jaw is wired shut. 

The sudden realization makes you gag as you shake the table with the force of your panic. 

Maria is always thorough, your mouth is full of cotton.

They act as if you’re as lifeless as any other corpse as they stand beside you, despite your muffled screaming, tears immediately flowing from your eyes as you feel your throat constrict around the cotton.  

“What happened to her?” He sounds so far gone even though he only stands a few feet away. 

“You know what happened to her.” Marias sorrow turns to a look of resentment as she turns to Joel. 

“Bear attack.” He says it more to himself than to her. 

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

“I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“You never do.” Her voice is full of a hatred you haven’t ever heard in reality. 

She looks at you with a pity you’ve had on your own face before. It’s the same look you give every corpse on a table.  

You follow Maria’s gaze down at your body and find your chest sliced open, the inside dry. 

And then you wake up. 

Of course Joel is there when you sit up in bed with a strangled cry, a fresh flood of tears falling down your face. 

“Bunny?” His groggy, sleep ridden voice resembles a growl, sending you backwards away from him, your back hitting where the mattress meets the camper wall. He’s already up, he moves towards you but the moment you flinch away from he stops. “Are you okay? What hap-“

“Don’t come any closer.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Thankfully he doesn’t move towards you, he holds his hands up ever so slowly. He’s acting like you’re a cornered animal. 

You can’t seem to find your voice. Every single logical and rational part of your body and mind tell you to get as far away from him as possible. To fight tooth and nail to get past him, to run away and never look back. You’d never get away with that though, he’s too deeply rooted in you already. He’s made for you. Sculpted by the gods to be everything you’ve ever wanted all in one neat little salt and pepper package, served up to you on a silver platter.  

“Sweetheart, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He inches forward a bit but the way you pull your legs up against your chest, trying to make yourself smaller makes him move back. “It’s okay, it’s just me.” 

Yeah Joel, that's the problem.  

a/n : i have such mixed feeling abt this chap but whatever i really like it so ?? idk

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[bollur]

Revenge Quest S/O anon here. Finishing the thought. She has someone at gunpoint, and finds herself unable to pull the trigger. She's shaking, terrified, and sees the same terror in the other person's eyes, and lets them go. How would Percy feel about this? Is he upset by this, or just relieved that they figured it out before they ended up like him and possessed by a demon or something? (2/2)

[casually rolls back in with a smoothie] hi, so like, i know you just wanted my opinion, but i honestly loved this idea so much i had to get a bit more creative with it. i hope you don't mind!~

for everyone else, this was the whole thing: "Hey, so... This might be weird, but... I had this thought, and I kinda wanna share it with you and hear your thoughts. So... Percy and a female s/o, right? Well, female s/o is on a quest for revenge, just like he was, her quest for revenge taking place right after the Briarwoods arc, kind of showing Percy what he looked like to the outside world, but unlike Percy, she figured out really quickly that she wouldn't be able to do it. Revenge Quest S/O anon here. Finishing the thought. She has someone at gunpoint, and finds herself unable to pull the trigger. She's shaking, terrified, and sees the same terror in the other person's eyes, and lets them go. How would Percy feel about this? Is he upset by this, or just relieved that they figured it out before they ended up like him and possessed by a demon or something?" well, here we are. no beta read, i die like the bitch i am. here's to hoping i still got it lmao

It was like walking on a wire.

Balance was vital in keeping things from worsening because it almost seemed there was no way to improve them. The evidence was in her eyes, her drive, and how she moved about like she were nothing but a cog in a machine. Percy wondered, at times, where she was going. She hadn’t been lost, no, not yet, but it was obvious that they were losing her.

Shame was a thing. It existed, and he found it quite often, especially looking back on the things he’d done and the way he had treated those he loved over it all. He had been a cruel man, all for the taste of his anger and revenge, and even with the demon gone, he found it something that now easily nested in his heart and fractured soul. He fought it constantly, battle after battle, and hated it so much—dragging it to the point that he often hated himself over it—more than he would ever admit.

That led to too many talks, too many sit-downs, and being watched, and while Percy was a foolish man who happily hurt himself and didn’t believe he deserved the life and love that was given to him, he couldn’t throw it away now. Did he hurt those around him? Yes, that point was obvious, but he tried. Gods above and below, did he try, all for the sake of them.

He still does because he knows the pain it would put on them if he were just to stop and just give up, no matter how much he wants to. He cannot let that happen to them, and certainly not with all they’ve put up with from him already. As much as he already felt it was wasted, there was too much work and effort put into him just to throw it all away like it was worth nothing.

They would keep working, and he would keep trying.

When he had something to work with, he became happier and less focused on his spiraling thoughts of isolation and pain, including others. Everyone always told him that he needed to slow down and take a break, and while maybe his body could, his mind was the opposite. He didn’t know how to shut it off, to empty it of those thoughts specifically, so for him, this was his break. It’s how he found himself focusing on her more than he already did.

There was never a moment, of course, where his mind did not wander back to her, no matter what horrors haunted him, and even in those moments, she was still found there, just in the worst of ways he never wanted to imagine. For all he could lie through his teeth and mask his suffering with squared shoulders, Percy would never lie about that. She deserved to know how much she was loved and treasured and how he turned to her like a plant greedy for the sun. He tried to bloom, as large and vibrant as he could, craving the attention she gave him amongst the field of many, wanting to ensure that he would continue to be seen.

So that one day, his fears would not come true, and he would not find himself so empty and alone without her.

Where was his sun going?

She was right here with him, beside him, but changing, darkening, and somewhere in her endless skies, the clouds were rolling in with a ferocious thunderstorm. Lightning cracked, splitting, and illuminating; in that light, he could see the lines in her face forming into a permanent fixture. He longed to reach up and smooth them away with a gentle touch. Percy knew, however, that healing was more than that, but it also wasn’t this route she had set herself to walk upon. There was a darkness in her eyes, clouding the fear that rested in the slight trembles of the hands and the thunder that carried in her voice to match the lion she acted as she roared.

It peeked out occasionally, those golden rays brightening a room when she was around those she loved, and the world seemed at peace once again, but they all knew well enough was dwelled below in that heart. He knew more than well enough.

Sometimes, he can’t meet her eyes, bring himself to face a mirror of what he had become—what he fears he may still be capable of becoming, and he hates that even more. Blaming himself, in some way, was the easiest step to take. If she had never seen, through him, what was possible, these would not be actions she would be taking.

If he would never have … If he would never have …

Well, that list could go on, couldn’t it? He could spend far too long droning on about the mistakes he had made, what he shouldn’t have done, and those were all things in the past—actions he could never re-step and creations he could never erase. He had to live and die with all of them, and watching her do the same to herself was something he had never imagined. In the end, would she be happy with her decisions? Could she live with them? Would it fill that hole in her chest and soul?

Would it only leave her empty and cold in those parts of the mind, still wondering and crying about why things ended up the way they did, driving her to this point, left with no closure and some of her humanity missing? She would still be bleeding and the wound unable to be found, and the past could not be erased.

No matter how much there is, blood cannot fill a hole with no bottom.

He can reason, at some points, that she should have been able to realize all of that with his experiences. She watched them, witnessed them firsthand, and saw the man it all left behind. If even a man remained in the gunpowder and smoke he trailed. She still existed, but for how long?

The talks the two of them had, do have, and he only finds himself more and more in the quick tongue, rising temper at the mention of the subject, the regret in her eyes as words spill that she doesn’t mean. He wasn’t so much of a fool to miss that she could tell what this was doing to him, and that was why she began trying to push him away, distance herself, and how that only hurt her more. Percy wondered, for her, which hurt more: the poison on the tongue that ate away at her or the isolation that rotted her soul?

Maybe she had an answer for that because, for as much as he tried, he just couldn’t decide.

The guilt tried to argue, as it did many times before, that if he just left, kept his nose out of it, she wouldn’t have that pain he gave her. It would be one less worry on her mind, one less burden on her shoulders, but he knows how much she's hurting beyond that. Love, compassion, and understanding were necessary, and she needed people. As much as she claimed she needed no one and could do this all alone, deep down, she was begging them to stay, to help and save her.

Was he projecting too much?

Perhaps that’s why he was scared when he saw her standing there, tall and determined, prepared to make a decision that would change her life forever. The boy who had lost everything, including himself, was standing there instead, and what could he do? Short of knocking her unconscious and pulling her away, which he had more than half a mind to do, he was taken aback by the pressure and thoughts; she could hate him for saving her, but for long would she be safe? Could she accept it completely this time, or would she try again, alone with no one at her side, and who knows then what would happen to her?

None of it healed the grief left behind, masked by the explosive emotions, only leaving it bare, exposed, and as strong as all hells. Where that grief might take her, along with the shame of her actions to those around her, the profound inability to want to live with it, he didn’t want her to go. At least not alone.

Please, take him too. Don’t leave him, not like this.

So, when time ticked away, the hesitation was present, and her shoulders began to curl in on themselves as they shook; looking at the person before her, he had to hide the way he physically felt himself start to soften. She couldn’t do it, and his breathing hitched the slightest, the weapon in her hand lowering inch by painful inch until it was hanging by a thread at her side. She held the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes, and while things would be taken over for her, all he could focus on was gently taking that arm and leading her away.

“Come on, love, let’s go home,” he spoke in a hushed tone that only the two of them would hear, leaning close as she began to cry silently, stilly, with her back turned, barricaded safely by the others, “Don’t regret this path you chose.”

[randaccidents]

I wonder why Soul doesn't ever stop events in the loop from happening? Like, if he remembers the loops, he should remember the events. And if he remembers the events, he could stop the more serious ones like our dearly named Juno Incident. So why doesn't he?

One reason I've seen flying around is that its set in stone always. That one way or another someone will shoot a gun. That ones fun, but its also pretty limited by true time loop variants of HMS typically. Also I have a personal distaste for deterministic worldviews lmao I want them to have some free will.

A second one I've seen flying about is that putting off certain events results in worse ones. Like if Heart doesn't shoot at the Sun with a gun, something worse will happen during the loop to make up for it. This one's also fun to play with but uhhhh tends to be really really deep into torture porn territory if done wrong.

Third one is pretty limited to Souls deep in the loop soup. Tried and true "He's just given up it repeats anyways even if he changes things". I like this one. Very nihilistic. Typical for Souls that have been Through the Horrors for thousands of loops and are now just Going Through The Motions.

I've also seen some analysis that claim that Soul ALSO forgets the exact events of the loop after a certain point in the album. He only remembers their existence, and not the events contained inside. This one, very fun, very rarely used, truly people need to get on this train more you could so easily make him blame himself for not remembering what might happen and being unable to stop it. So much Soul angst potential.

Anyways that was a really long way to lead into what I think is why. I commit the Unholy Combination of "fuck it multiple". Ehhh people who read my fics might have seen me describe it a couple of times already.

Basically I think that he starts of only remembering the existence of the loops, ala option 3 mentioned above. But as events happen he Remembers every looped version of it happening post-event. Not before it happens, not as its happening, after its already happened and nothing can be changed, and suddenly he can remember the times upon times that the same event has happened before. Also entirely viable in a "the loop is just a loop of mental health" versions where time does not truly go backwards.

So much space for Soul angst potential. He doesn't know its coming so its a surprise every single time and the reaction is his natural first reaction. He remembers after and hates that he didn't know early enough to stop it. He knows every slightly different way an event has gone. As the loops pile up so do the number of memories he regains each time and isn't that just fodder for Soul being Too Tired the longer a loop drags? Weight of the world, weight of ever-increasing memories.

(ALSO as a side point please play more with the "The brain is not made to hold this many memories" concept please please it is so easy to make him Tired and Old and Nihilistic and not doing anything anymore, but way more fun to have him actively fight that mindset and try so hard to stay optimistic. The optimistic one especially is so fun.)

[dykedragonrider]

Finished the OG Gundam and I'm just stream of consciousnessing this one because I feel like I'm gonna burst lmao. It's so rich with meaning, I want to cite so many beautiful moments but listing those off feels like it'd be a fool's endeavor. It's incredibly moving, it's human, it's earnest, it's timeless, it's so many things and I wish I had the words to communicate it better. Amuro's development as a protagonist is nuts like. Those last few episodes and their focus on the meaning of Newtypes and his ethos for them do a lot for him, but even over time he's learning his place in a world that he can't quite fit into because well, he's still growing and changing. But it's that flexibility, his earnestness, and his heart that make all that he does so impactful. You feel his dynamism and passion, his hopes for the world and those around him so strongly when he figures out where he needs to be. But it's not just a coming of age for Amuro. It's also interrogating the nature of humanity, the way we connect, sever them, hurt those around us, and are changed by those we connect with. To deny that is to deny the beauty of your humanity, as it's how we can, despite all odds, reach out to and connect with each other. Even with the destruction of the White Base, he still has a home and people to come back to. It gives so much meaning to what we do as humans, and Lalah feeling lost about that when she speaks to Amuro through what bond Newtypes have, because she can't *find* that in him, it's just. That entire episode between the two, Amuro realizing the horror of what he's done after killing the first person he was able to connect with on the level that Newtypes do, after learning so much from her in that short moment, and the way that even after she's gone, he figures that out, she helps him in one way or another to save his home. Even after he did something he can't take back, that didn't undo the impact she had on him. What is being a child but having your mistakes forgiven. And speaking of the kids, I feel like Katz, Letz, and Kikka are so central to what makes the show good? They're often used for comedy but I think that's part of the core fact that makes them such wonderful parts in the narrative; that even among the horror of war, we have to take care of everyone that will come after us, and maintain our ability to feel that joy and hope and optimism for the future, to try as hard as we can within our means to do *something*. Them bringing Amuro back then acts as a symbol of how important it is to maintain that hope, especially after Amuro has just battled Char and his cynical realism. Them being newtypes also works because well, again, they're the future. Newtypes are such a cool thing both in the frame of "scifi thing cool" and also just as a purely symbolic thing. To be a Newtype is to be able to connect to others and try to understand them, to listen to the intent, emotion, and will of others, in some ways. We see Bright, who is decidedly Not portrayed as a Newtype reflect this philosophy, in the ways he can feel some parts of it with Lalah, because he's open to the future, but he's not open minded enough like Sayla, Mirai, Amuro, and Char, to interact with that future. Katz, Letz, and Kikka once again as Newtype children also demonstrate that future. It can be taken as "newtypes are superior for reasons demonstrated in the work" which is objectively true but I think it misses the forest for the trees, in that the reason that Newtypes are the future is their ability to connect to other people, and their connections are depicted as *beautiful* things. I feel like as I sit on it more and ruminate I'll have more to say, but as it stands I just. I get why Gundam fans are so excited when people get into it, because it's a work so rich with meaning.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can I get Centipedes x Ragatha? (it’s a joke)

Ragatha and centipedes

jokes on you im going to entertain this because im feeling a little silly. going to be all over the place since its just a bunch of random stuff tying in with the general centipede idea future admin here VV did not think i would need to put a cw on this but this genuinely made me feel bluuuuuugh and yucky so uh. CW on talk about bugs and vague talk of infestations because the admin tried to make a hc on why ragatha is scared of centipedes in particular (admin realizes their phobia of bugs is worse than they thought by the end of writing it they just thought they had arachnophobia LMAO) not even going to bother to tag this

i think its centipedes specifically that ragatha doesnt like. shes okay with spiders, shes fine with flies, hell shes okay witih silverfish (which arguably are just as gross if not grosser than centipedes). its something about centipedes in specific she hates. maybe its the legs. its gotta be the legs

or maybe theres something else? honestly i can see her getting her little fear of the things from a prank by jax gone terribly wrong, or perhaps even an in house adventure

or maybe she experienced something with them in her real life that, despite her losing her memories, she fears the bug down to her very core. something that shook her so deeply, engraining itself into her psyche, enough to carry on even after losing everything that once made her her when she put on the headset

okay jokes aside, originally i was going to go on a tangent about how that maybe her fear came from a really bad IHA.. but now that i think about it, the idea of her going through something in her real life makes more sense. plus as much as i write about jax putting centipedes in her room i dont think he actually did... but what i have cooking in my brain far exceeds the cruelty jax would dare dish out

i dont know about you but infestations can quickly instill a fear in you. i would know personally because when i was younger roaches and silverfish were common in my house hold, especially during wetter times of the year. also crickets. and woop the admin hates all three of those bugs, deeply. can you imagine going into the bathroom as a small child, only to get up and see a roach as big as your hand just chilling in the toilet bowl. do you know what that does to a person

cue that one post where op said they were taking a dump and they poked a weird spot on their wall only to watch in horror as a hoard of silverfish started spilling out of it

genuine fear of mine i hate silverfish kid me used to avoid the bathroom because of them

so anyways with the power of my self projection, im going to apply the same idea to ragatha. maybe she lived somewhere where centipedes were common. sure they might not have been the huge gnarly ones that we all think of when we hear about these things, but i think even the smaller ones would do her in after enough time. could be a large amount of house centipedes but as stated above, it would probably drive you insane after you see enough of them for long enough

shrugs

okay psychological torment aside i dont think theres really any curing her fear if we're following this hc, like maybe you can help her build a tolerance to having them around but to actually get rid of it fully? yeah no thats going to take a lot more than you can give her in the digital circus

will NOT pick up a centipede you try to get her to hold, you could have the best intensions and it can be the cutest one ever in existence

i was going to add a lot more to this post and make this comically long but my skin is crawling (pun intended) at the images ive just put into my head. genuinely feel yucky inside

[sdwolfpup]

I posted 3,593 times in 2022

87 posts created (2%)

3,506 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined

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I tagged 3,589 of my posts in 2022

#gif set - 429 posts

#video - 365 posts

#lol - 283 posts

#jaime x brienne - 259 posts

#fanart - 232 posts

#lmao - 230 posts

#f1 - 180 posts

#sebastian vettel - 151 posts

#tumblr life - 137 posts

#asoiaf - 133 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and to every otw volunteer who works hard through a lot of shit on a regular day to bring us something i now cannot imagine fandom without

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I think a lot about "morally gray Brienne" and what George's intention is with her arc, about the fandom's tendency to believe that what she has to learn is what they think Jaime will teach her, which is that she's going to have to compromise her morals and become less "pure" because that's the way the world works. That he's going to make her more cynical as a sign of growth.

I've never liked that possibility, myself. But I've never been able to actively articulate what it is I do hope Brienne learns; how I hope she'll change in George's arc without losing her innate hope and belief.

I realized today while scrolling my dash that this tumblr post is what I do actually want her growth to be. That Jaime will tell her the equivalent of this, from that post (bolded parts from the post, but relevant):

There’s something bad about everything if you dig deep enough. As long as we live in flawed human societies we’ve got to make the best of what they offer us. If you have the choice and means, please, do support those who do good, but also, don’t beat yourself up over not living up to an unattainable ideal.

No one can. You’ll just make yourself so miserable, you either burn up and stop fighting entirely or you’ll make yourself a non-productive, depressed heap just out of a bleeding heart left unchecked. You can’t make a change to this world if you refuse to engage in it.

I don't think Brienne refuses to engage in their world right now, but I do see her -- especially after whatever happens with Lady Stoneheart -- potentially shutting down because of the horror of what she feels she's forced to do, the fact that sometimes there is no good option; that sometimes the good option is doing what it takes to keep yourself going and that's okay.

I think Jaime's power is that he understands that deeply, he's just gotten so sunk in the choices he's made in multiple bad situations that he thinks there's never a good choice, and I think that's where they can meet in the middle and help each other become the best versions of themselves: she can give him the hope to fight and he can give her the strength to.

130 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

So am I to understand --

that this is Dracula:

247 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

All of Dracula was worth it for this one, sarcastic line:

I have always thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of pronounced durability is between us

Perfect, no notes, continue onward with great joy, Mr. Pall Mall Gazette Reporter.

412 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

Something something the parallels between Dracula and his three women and Lucy and her three men, all bound by the blood they've given/had taken, send post.

845 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My favorite thing about Dracula Daily Tumblr Edition is that we have all gone from "look at our good friend adorable woobie Jonathan Harker discovering spices" to "RIP HIS THROAT OUT, J-HARK, YOU'VE GOT THIS."

4,583 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[castlebyersafterdark]

'So no, not peers, but they reminded me personally of peers from a certain time in my life that I very much tend to romanticize'

yes yes this! i also am a similar age and i didnt connect to the party in being a nerd, but i certainly did in FEELING like a black sheep when i was that age. so their dynamic and sincere friendships were also a way for me to imagine doing-over a childhood i wish had gone differently. it sounds nuts to say i wish i could have been in a horror show instead of my childhood at school lol, but for me the heart of the show was the love amongst the horror, and thats something i felt was missing from my own childhood friend groups.

so yeah, when i first watched it i was in my early twenties and had just spent the summer looking after a bunch of kids that age at summer camp, one of whom looked exactly like will and who loved me and i had a soft spot for him too (youre not supposed to have favs but theres always one cute kid!). i didnt relate to the adults joyce or hop, who felt like my own parents lol, and i didnt relate to the teens because they somehow made me feel like a tween watching one tree hill or the OC for the first time. if anything, i related most to barb because of the way she read steve TO ABSOLUTE FILTH, but then she died lmao.

so you can see how it was uncomfortable for me to see these actors grow and become young men who were quite attractive... but i rolled with it because that's literally growing up, and i had also skipped s3 so it was quite the shock when i caught up! like you said, i'm not doing anything other than admiring them from a great distance - and ofc the way the story made me feel always came first. in fact, i would say that i find them attractive mainly because of the story and the characterisation. i dont think i would crush on finn or noah if they hadnt played these characters tbh. but this is also why i think that shipping and the resulting crushes is usually a sort of three-way marriage, character-person-character. you would rarely ship yourself and a character if there was no relationship in the show? so i think shipping is sort of a way of vicariously living through these people, just like the show itself is a way of reliving/living the 80s in a way. i imagine most people relate more to either mike or will, and have more of an attraction to the other character in the byler pairing as a result.

Incredible points and anecdotes here. I feel all of it. Interesting point posed with not really feeling any sort of way about Finn or Noah is they hadn't played these characters and totally. It's the love of Mike and Will that blends into my (and I see with many others) love of Finn and Noah. I've seen Finn's other roles and they wouldn't have struck me this way. I haven't seen Noah in anything else, but I wouldn't care if he was just some tiktok star. These roles defined these guys. Fandom is at it's core a kinf of vicariously living situation in general. Because most people watch shows or read books or play a game and they move on, it doesn't occupy their life too much. But some people have an imagination that latches and it has to explore more. So - fandom. Living through fiction.

But, liked this especially:

i also am a similar age and i didnt connect to the party in being a nerd, but i certainly did in FEELING like a black sheep when i was that age. so their dynamic and sincere friendships were also a way for me to imagine doing-over a childhood i wish had gone differently. it sounds nuts to say i wish i could have been in a horror show instead of my childhood at school lol, but for me the heart of the show was the love amongst the horror, and thats something i felt was missing from my own childhood friend groups.

YES. I think this is why I'm drawn to media with solid friendships at the core. I had an ok childhood, but my friendships to a point were all pretty shallow. It was great and fine when we were real young, maybe up to the age of the party s1, neighborhood friends were good and fine, but you grow up and everything changes. And none lasted after high school. I didn't really have a best friend growing up. So I've always liked that in media. Stuff with friendship, teams. And I think maybe Stranger Things hit me at the right time, and this is sooooooo fucking cornyyyyyy but I kind of saw byler for what it was around when I discovered love for the first time myself??? I finally found a best friend and it's just nice having this fictional media with that theme as well, since it's a theme I wanted and found personally. Too damn sappy, always hahahaha

[drleggman]

lexi!!!!

1. i love you and miss you whenever you’re gone <3

2. what are your main self ships? and can you give me a tiny glimpse of each of the relationship dynamics?

Kae 🥹 ilyilyilyily

My top self ships are probs me/bokuto, me/reiner, and me/tamaki (i got so excited when i saw u and aleks talking about him yesterday! he’s so underrated) !! They’re all like my og self ships too and I’ve kept our lore stored away for years atp, so I’ll talk about them!

Bokuto!! He’s like the stereotypical golden retriever boy, and that’s usually not my type but… Here we are lol. We’re very complementary, he’s the sun to my moon etc etc. We met when I was hired on to be a translator for the jpn national team, and he asked me out after the Olympics were over. He just. Approached me and said “You’re pretty :D I think it’s so cool that you speak two languages :D I wasn’t gonna ask you out bc I thought it’d be unprofessional, but then tsum-tsum called me a pussy, and I’m not a pussy, and” I have to cut him off and we agree to go on a date and hit it off immediately! We both tend to get pouty when something doesn’t go our way and we love to baby each other when it happens. He encourages me to do things I’d usually be to nervous to try, and I encourage him to rest lol. He introduces me to his friends and invites me to hang out with him and the boys on the national team and brings me out of my shell. Our friends think we’re annoying bc of how sappy and affectionate we are. Especially if we’ve been drinking! Just hanging off of each other constantly and arguing about who loves the other more. We never leave the honeymoon phase and spend our whole lives after getting together absolutely obsessed with each other.

Reiner and I, in both a canon and modern setting, kinda trauma bond and become inseparable (boys w mommy issues love me and I love men who cry and are so miserable). We both are in the middle of identity crises and struggle with our sense of self and our place in the world and how to cope with the horrors we’ve partaken in lived through, but we make each other feel so seen in a way we’ve never experienced before. The people in our lives want to tell us that maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship while still in such vulnerable mental states, but they’ve also not seen us so happy in so long, so they keep their mouths shut. We’re a bit toxic at first in a codependent way. We can’t function without the other and we fuel each others grief and isolate ourselves from the people around us, but after years together, we slowly start to get over ourselves lmao. We grow tired of pitying ourselves and start to be better together, and we both firmly believe we’d have never snapped out of it if it weren’t for us encouraging each other. Which maybe isn’t true, but nobody would ever tell us that.

And Tamaki!! My sweet Suneater <3 This is one of the rare instances in which I initiate everything in the relationship and take on a more dominant role. I was just like him when we met, but if there’s one thing that will snap me out of my anxiety, it’s seeing someone who is just as anxious as me struggling to do things it helps that I think he’s so cute. We meet at Fatgum’s agency, and I wanna be his friend soooo bad, but I know how overwhelmed he gets, so I go slow and am very soft with him. I tell him about how I manage my anxiety, teach him my coping mechanisms, and show him my fidget toys and then buy him some of his own - all unprompted. He was kinda unresponsive at first bc he was confused about why I’d wanna talk to him, but he warms up to me pretty quickly after he realizes that I have the same struggles as him. He starts to see through the false confidence after that, catching me when I’m anxious and picking up on my ticks, and he’ll remind me of the techniques I taught him to help him get out of his head. I’m the “he asked for no pickles” partner, while he’s clutching my shirt and hiding behind me w his face pressed into my shoulder. If he sees me getting anxious, especially when talking to someone, he also gets nervous lol but his need to help me emboldens him. His favorite move is to just like physically insert himself into the situation. Like stand between me and the person and whisk me away to somewhere quiet. I’m much cockier when we’re alone, and I love to tease him and get him all flustered. He loves praise but it gets him so worked up and I looove to shower him with compliments and pet names. I’m one of the few people he lets his guard down around when he’s not in action mode, so he’s just like. Normal when we’re alone. Still soft spoken and sweet, but after being together for a while, his relationship anxiety and worries about looking dumb in front of me fade. anxiety4anxiety all the way but we make it work

[t-and-her-books]

The Spirit Engineer by A.J West

"Ghosts are mere memories of lives passed, granted a reassuring afterlife, manifested by the pleading, grasping, fearful imagination of our own mortality."

"Doubt is, after all, the mother of inquiry and the grandmother of resolution."

(Bcs I can't pick just 1 quote out of this incredible book)

Personal rating: 7/10 Summary: Belfast, 1914. Two years after the sinking of the Titanic, high society has become obsessed with spiritualism in the form of seances that attempt to contact the spirits of loved ones lost at sea. William is a man of science and a sceptic, but one night with everyone sat around the circle something happens that places doubt in his heart and a seed of obsession in his mind. Could the spirits truly be communicating with him or is this one of Kathleen’s parlour tricks gone too far?

︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄ thoughts

(Spoilers under the cut)

The Spirit Engineer by AJ West (to my surprise) was inspired by real stories with the main characters and main supporting characters like William Jackson Crawford, his family, Kathleen Goligher, and her family being real people. The only people that were figments of his imagination was Adelia Carter and Albert Blithe.

First and foremost the book itself is a historical fiction that feels more fictional than historical, so it is easy to read for those that do not want to skim through historical jargon. Despite this, the book itself feels slow at the beginning and middle when compared to the climax of the story.

With the beginning having an almost menial day to day descriptions of what is happening to William and the last part of the middle onwards having numerous time skips and time jumps.

This book follows the life of William Jackson Crawford, a professor in engineering that lives in the edge of poverty with his family comprised of his wife, two daughters, and his youngest and only son. It is written in William's perspective as he goes through the trials and tribulations of managing a facade in front of not only himself but his family and peers. The facade of an intelligent man that is worthy of respect.

Everywhere he goes, William, though intelligent in his own right, is somehow looked down upon by everyone around him.

One more note, though the book seems to have a horror/thriller aspect, that isn't heavily explored until near the end of the book where I was basically sitting on the edge of my seat.

(Spoilers starting now)

I find the story to be slightly boring in the beginning, though it does serve purpose. William Crawford at the start of the story lives his average life, difficult, but average. It isn't until the seances and his spiritual investigations does his life begin to get more interesting as he begins to go mad. So the fact that it isn't until this point that I find myself really pulled into the book isn't that surprising.

The book itself portrays William's slow descend to madness beautifully at the beginning of the book. With his repeated humiliation showing the readers why he is such an insecure man. But near the end his brutality with his experiment with Kathleen feels somewhat rushed.

I feel like the book itself could explore more the middle between when William was invited to London and when he starts his London tour. Not to mention there are one loose thread in the story that annoyingly is never resolved, the pamphlet and the audience's outrage following William's lecture of the spiritual phenomenas is briskly forgotten after he meets with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Harry Houdini (which might I add made me scream the first time I read their interaction).

Though it is explored how it practically ruined his psyche, that part feels rushed as well. Especially with how quickly the end and the twist was revealed. The pace of the ending was definitely needed with how slow the start was. It was a refreshing end. But the middle, when the jump happened, did give me whiplash (lmao).

The horror aspect at the end, especially with all the reveals, William's mother possessing Rose and the picture he carried with him not actually being a picture of his mother was incredible. I was at the edge of my seat actually scared. (Though this might be due to the fact that I was reading this at 2am when I couldn't sleep, needless to say I didn't sleep till the sun rose that night.) (I blame it on my jetlag).

︑︒⚬∙︓·⠄ character analysis

⋆ ★ William Jackson Crawford

This man was so interesting to read. I was on his side up until the end! And when he met Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?!?!??! And Harry Houdini????? I was going insane like legitimately insane. Ok back to the actual analysis:

William Jackson Crawford is a deeply insecure and troubled man, not to mention haunted (both literally and figuratively lmao). From the very beginning we can tell he's not someone who holds himself at a high regard, despite how he talks about himself. He sees himself as someone with such high potential but when people confront him about it he loses so much of his own pride that it's honestly sad to see.

The biggest example of this is his bladder issues. Having bladder problems is seen as something humiliating, especially if those issues were connected to someone of his valour. A middle-aged professor of engineering, a father of three, and a husband. It's embarrassing and humiliating. We can see how this affected him twice in the story, both of those happening in the first two acts of the book.

The first being when Principle Forth invited him to come to the gala earlier, he believes this is because he has a higher calling by the principal, he believes that this is finally his time to shine. That's why he recites his studies about the dirigibles in the bathroom only to lose all his confidence when Albert Blithe comes in. His lost in confidence doesn't only show in his stuttering but because he is unable to release his bladder. Which causes Albert to chuckle before leaving.

The second is when he soils himself after the seance in the attic. Only for Samuel Goligher, the boy he looks down upon repeatedly in his classroom, to humiliate and laugh at him.

I wish AJ West did something more with this because, though disgusting, is an interesting aspect in William's life. A part of me wonder if this was all a hint to William's troubled life unbeknownst to him, the one that was revealed in the end, especially with how he burned down the Goligher home and killed Rose. As bladder issues like bed-wetting are symptoms of a budding serial killer. (I'm not kidding search it up).

Either way, one amazing thing AJ West has done with William as a character is really get into his mind. As a reader, I was always with William, when he didn't believe in the spirits and ghosts I followed with him. I had the same amount of suspicion as he did. But when the 'evidence' starts to stack up, I soon follow suit that the spirits in this book is real. That he is hearing the voices of Noah, Robert, and his mother. The book gives you no room for suspicion for William's character up until the start of the last 2 acts when he starts acting sporadically and insanely.

That is when the veil starts to get lifted, but only because his actions have gone more brazen and brutal. With getting Rose to search within Kathleen's orifices and gagging everyone in his experiments. It was difficult and brutal to read.

It made the revelation at the end that much more incredible. That all of it was a partly a figment of his own imagination.

⋆ ★ Elizabeth Crawford

I'm torn with Elizabeth's characterisation. I don't really know how to feel when it comes to her. I feel like there's a lot of directions AJ West was trying to go to with Elizabeth, but at the end of the day she feels like a tool to move the story forward instead of herself.

In the first part of the book she plays the role of loving wife and grieving sister very well. She loves William and, to some degree, feels comfortable around him, if the whole part in the gala where she was falling asleep to him was anything to say. But this makes no sense if I were to connect it with the reveal in the end where it turns out that he beats her in his sleep. I suspected her to be more standoffish than she actually is.

Her standoffish behaviour only shines through when William gets madder and madder, which yes makes sense, but doesn't if you think that she's scared of him when he sleeps. It would make more sense if she's even more scared of him during this part and instead the loving and caring version of her (in the first part) during the beginning of William's investigations.

Because she does say near the end that when the spiritual investigations began, William started sleeping soundly again, until the demons that haunted his nights before the investigations start bleeding into his real self in the day. To me this reveal in the end would then make sense of how Elizabeth should've acted in the middle of the story if she was suddenly more loving and comfortable. Only to get even more fearful and distant nearing the end.

Imo Elizabeth's outburst with the knife at the end deserves more attention. Like, woman deserves a whole cleaver and chase scene with William with all the shit he did to her tbh tbh tbh (jkjk or am I? elizabeth a better woman than me, if some guy did that to me I'd die the moment Noah died)

⋆ ★ Kathleen Goligher

I HAVE SO MUCH QUESTIONS ABOUT KAHTLEEN GOLIGHER

Okay her 'character analysis' is going to be the least analysis analysis out of all of them. Because I DON'T GET IT???

At the start of the story she's this mysterious figure we don't know too much about. It isn't until she practically begged William to come to the seances and prove whether or not she's actually a real medium does her character begin to get even more interesting. Because it made me wonder if Kathleen was being forced by her mother/sister/Noah to perform these parlour tricks.

It shows how childish she actually is. It paints a picture into the readers mind of her not as another person but as a character with history and fears and a child at heart. She's questioning herself and she's scared, it gives her dimensions.

Especially as the story progresses and William's experiments get more and more immoral, we sympathise with her more and more despite how William thought of her at the start of the story.

But with the ending being revealed that:

She's actually lying and all the supernatural things happening are just tricks

She does actually perform seances, one that Elizabeth believed, and one that called William to the attic that very first night

Doesn't these two contradict one another??? Or was that just the point??? Because if so, ARE THE GOLIGHERS ACTUALLY FRAUDS OR NOT??? Cause like every single supernatural 'evidence' in William's experiments were proven false at the end of the book. So what the hell does that make Kathleen??? Wdym she called William with her spirits?? So does she actually have spirits or not?

Are the spirits a lie or is it just the proof that William have found??

I'm so confused by her but god damn do I feel bad for her near the final chapters. Especially when she was brought over to the Crawford home and she asked where her mam and sister was. Like that just broke my heart.

⋆ ★ SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE AND HARRY HOUDINI

WHY? CAUSE I'M INSANE FOR THEM AND I JUST NEED TO PUT IT HERE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEY SHOW UP FOR ONE CHAPTER AND MY MIND AND SOUL IS JUST FILLED WITH THEM THE ENTIRETY OF THE STORY JUST LIKE WILLIAM WHICH MAKES IT JUST

AAAAA

CHEF'S KISS

Anyways, this is a direct quote on my annotation right after reading chapter 37, enjoy my insanity.

"THIS ENTIRE PAGE IS AMAZING TO READ. A LITERAL WONDER AND INCREDIBLE WORK OF JUST TWO PAGES AND I'M INSANE. I LITERALLY LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH. William's panic, his fear, his idea that they are ridiculing him when no! They're DISCUSSING with him!!"

"These two men have such bright intelligence that they find security in their own beliefs and knowledge THAT THEY ACHE TO CHALLENGE IT!!! WHERE WILLIAM IS SOMEONE WHO BASKS AND NEEDS OTHER PEOPLE'S APPRECIATION AND VALIDATION THAT HE'S SCARED AND DOWNRIGHT TERRIFIED OF EVER BEING PROVEN OR THOUGHT OF AS WRONG!!!!"

Moral of the story: I love historical history and is down bad at the idea of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle just fully reading William Jackson Crawford TO SHREDS!

[craacked-splatters]

Mismatched twins au ramble continuation!!: ch3

Warning spoilers for those who haven't read it yet.

Under the cut!

Edit: 1/2) NOO I didn't mean to post this already😭 im gonna come back and fix it after work

2/2) I fixed it now

Ch3:

Yep yep yeppers

Leon's denial and defensive response makes sense.

I mean it's not like the rise bois ever encountered alternates b4. I'd be skeptical too if someone came up to me and said they were my brother from another universe. And although the rise universe doesn't have a lot of enemies that wish for the bois heads on a spike, having that much similar info is still pretty alarming.

And he just lost his family a few mins ago and still coming to terms with it pretty sure. Having a different version of his twin standing right there next to him? Having a reminder of everything he loved and lost secs ago breathing right next to him? Man what a cruel joke.

Of course he's not going to accept that. he won't accept it. (Not yet lol)

And Dee's reaction😭 He acts so guilty about it.

"I didn't mean to upset you" bro😭

I love the fact he doesn't push or keeps insisting his own universes existence further when he notices Leon's reaction. He just answers when asked or states anything about his home the same way one would talk about the weather or a restaurant menu. It's all true but Dee's not about to fight over it. He's aware of the tension and he ain't gonna push it.

Not when they're hurt and alone and not when he sees Leon get so upset. (I don't think the thought of any Leo being upset would sit right with him, especially not if he's the reason for it)(*sniffs the air* *squints* angst🤨?)

[This interaction might not seem as much but I like it cuz loads of other crossover fics the turt groups always almost immediately accept thier situation. Like oh, ur me from another dimension yeah ok 👍. Granted all ninja turtle lives r crazy might as well happen yk lol?

But anyways yeah, it was a nice change to see, and it also helps highlight the serious danger they're in and Leon's inexperience to stuff like that. Hah bro is going thru it.]

The turtle finally looks up. Any confidence is gone, leaving a meek uncertainty that makes it really hard for Leo to keep being mad at him.

LMAO

This and the fact that Leon checks him off of being a potential villain is funny to me.

Look at this guy

Wet fruit gummy looking creature. Hes not even doing it on purpose either he just looks like that.

Dee testing the physics and landscape immediately to start piecing a plan is like second nature. He's got experience in traversing unfamiliar dangerous territory. He'll do what it takes to find anything that could give him intel or advantage.

Before this, I'd never realize how strange that would look to outsiders XD. All of Donnie's curiosity and poking makes sense, in order to learn anything one must head into the unknown, but to Leo he looks insane. (But then again, to be a true Donatello, u have to be a touch mad)

As much as the blantant horror has the writhing guilt making him want to throw himself off the edge for utterly ruining someone else’s day, he’s relieved that he’s finally getting through to him.

He wouldn't wish this whole thing, this death sentence, on anyone and it must suck knowing there's another victim in here with him suffering the same fate. The most he can do is let them fully understand how futile it is to try before he gets absolutely destroyed right?

You- you mean…” Something changes as he scans Leo’s face, overcome by disbelief. “They just… Left you here?”

RAHHHHHH OSIDHDGHSK

Leon in the back of his head probably: No of course they didn't leave me behind. I left them, which is sooo much worse

(in a way they kinda did leave him tho,not on purpose oh no NEVER. They would NEVER

But...

Something something the sacrifices of the hamato clan is never ending something something to become a hero is to lose pieces, chunks fragments even, of what makes up ur life and that includes ur home and the ppl around you)

It must sting knowing that his family's love wasn't enough to save him?

Also the contrast between Donnie's determination and Leo's defeat OOOOOH HO. Good very good

Oooh!! And! And

Leon's insistence on taking care of Dee's wounds despite his very understandable doubts & suspicion AND Dee extending the offer to help Leon escape if/when he figures out a way to leave AoUGH

They are good bois, with good hearts. The prison dimension will not be kind to them😔

Mismatched twins au ramble continuation!!: ch2

This is about @imagionationstation rottmnt and tmnt 2012 crossover au. Check it out over at @mismatchedtwins (lol I'm always gonna be promoting it)

Rambles under the cut! (So I don't clog up anyone's dash lmao)

Dee and Leons escape? Mhm yeah mhm👁️👁️

You totally captured that terrified desperate injured animal vibe. Leon's disorientation really sets out the "oh shit we're going to die" thing. Like it really introduces the absolute horrible dire situation both bois have landed up in to the readers. They're both separated from their fam, injured, and trapped in a wasteland with a bloodthirsty maniac.

Also this?

Leo needs it, so when he dies, he still has a chance to find Karai.

Ough. When u said Leon had accepted death already for himself ig I didn't register it completely?? Man what a slap to the face

He headed into the prison dimension fully expecting to meet his family in the afterlife huh? Ouch :((

Oooh and the contrast between Dee and Leon's handling of injuries! Dee's gentle, precise and thorough administrations🥺 (how many times did he do the same to his own family? Precise. Of course it is and of course it's gentle. Had plenty of practice before ending up there right? Must've been weird to check up on another version of his older brother like that tho. But I doubt Dee would just leave a Leo or any version of his other brothers hurt like that without at least trying to help. They might not be his, but bros r still bros yk? )

And Leon was able to keep up with Don's examinations even while he was wrecked! Very observant and he clearly took his medical studies to heart (Team medics💜💙) ( is leon actually medic in rottmnt? I actually can't remember 😔)

“Dude, you just wrapped me.” Leo remarks, amused by the glare that he earns. “Of course, I did. I had too.”

🥺

“But it’s different when you’re seeing your own?” Leo offers a cheeky grin. The turtle looks uncomfortable.

Is this bcuz he just saw his flesh and blood exposed to the open air like a few mins ago or? (I do wonder how bad the crisis he's gonna get(if he gets one) for the whole disintegrating body horror will be after the adrenaline and survival mode wears off)

Dee immediately after realizing he's in another dimension : 👁️👁️🎤📝

LMAO

[gatorbites-imagines]

hi! i dunno if your requests are still open but if they are i was wondering if you could write headcanons for dr strange and/or tony with a male so whos sorta like a eldritch god/horror? if not i understand but thanks anyways(:

Marvel x eldritch horror male reader

  How did you know non-human reader fics were one of my favorites?

I sprinkled in some Steven Grant cuz I am obsessed with him, even though I haven’t watched the show yet, hope that’s okay lmao. I don’t know much about DID so I tried not to mention it much, and used what I know, so hopefully its alright.

I loosely based the readers main appearance of an oc of mine who is something like an eldritch horror themselves ^^

 I may have gotten carried away, but enjoy anyways.

Tony Stark

-          You meet when Tony is trapped in space with Nebula. You were just floating through space like always, taking in the sights and whatnot when you saw the ship and felt living organisms inside. One of them feels near death though, so you worry.

-          You haven’t interacted with many humans in your eternal life, so you panic and slither your everchanging form into the ship towards the dying being. Feeling around you with your smoke like mass, and using your abilities you can tell he is dying from lack of oxygen, so you make some.

-          He’s still falling unconscious, but not dying this time. So, you grace his mind just enough to get an impression, and take the form he would find most pleasing to look at. You end up taking him into your now only two arms, and holding him as he rests.

-          Things pass like in the movie, except you easily reverse what Thanos did and take the stones away from the ugly grape and fling him into the void.

-          Now that the threat is gone you grow close to Tony, and take great interest in human culture. You could learn it all immediately if you pleased, but having Tony show you and explain it made what would be your heart warm up.

-          In the beginning Tony, and all his companions, thought you were some type of alien that took human form, like the Skrull. So, it was kinda awkward to explain that you weren’t just that, you were what they called an eldritch horror.

-          Tony needed some time to come to terms with it, especially the fact that you were far beyond science. But after a while he seemed to just accept it, giving up that he couldn’t ever figure you out. Though he does try to at times still.

-          The two of you start dating, and it takes some time to get used too, mainly for Tony. You grow more comfortable letting your human go and just being more yourself. Though you keep your form mainly human.

-          You help out the Avengers at times, but mainly leave it to the heroes to go save the world. Though you will swoop in if they’re in life threatening danger.

-          You pick up cooking, though it isn’t very successful in the beginning, but tony seems to be very supportive, though he isn’t that happiest to be the taste tester as some of the dishes he swears are cursed.

-          You get better over time though.

-          The relationship is announced to the public, and you have to keep your human form when out and about for obvious reasons. The world is led to believe you have shadow based powers and have lived alone for most of your life, which makes up for you not understanding many parts of society just yet.

Stephen Strange

-          You meet when Stephen is doing magic work, maybe he has to cross over to the shadow between realities or universes to collect something or fight someone. He catches your attention by entering your domain, which normally no one can enter.

-          You keep your attention of the cloaked man, as he moves through your darkness with ease that surprises even you. His cloak flinches back when you reach a shadow up to pull on it, which confirms that it is alive.

-          The magic-user walks around your domain for a long time looking for what he’s after, but can’t seem to find head nor tail in the eternal darkness. You feel what’s almost akin to pity, like what you feel when you see a kitten stumble and fall. So, collecting a tiny part of your mass, you take a human-like shape.

-          The shape is like if you took shadows and dark mass and shoved it into a human shaped mold. You hadn’t really met humans before and you didn’t want to dig through his mind, so you took the next best option.

-          Stephen gets ready to fight when you appear, but when it becomes obvious, you’re friendly he tells you why he’s there and what he’s after. You offer to help him which he hesitates with at first, but ends up accepting. With little work of your powers, you’ve moved the two of you to what he needed

-          The two of you fall into talks, you mainly asking questions which he only seems to answer out of politeness as this is your realm, but as time passes, he becomes more friendly. He’s on edge around you in the beginning, but it lessens up.

-          When he leaves you vow to visit him regularly, which you then do. You pull apart the curtains of reality and step into whatever room he’s in, and as time passes you start to take a more human form as you learn about them. Though you keep certain features about yourself, like having more than two arms and smoke-like clouds rising from you at times, though Stephen doesn’t seem to mind at all.

-          The sorcerer grows to really apricate your company, and he treats you much warmer as time passes.

-          You dating is never really said in words, at some point you just start staying with him for longer, you start holding each other and kissing. Its only when Wong tells you to take your sucking faces somewhere else it clicks for the both of you.

-          Your relationship continues as normal, doing sorcery things, reading books, traveling places. Though now there’s more physical affection.

-          Stephen is very interested in the special brand of magic you use, though you explain it isn’t magic and just more you are bending reality to your will. He’s still very interested though.

-          He takes time off from being sorcerer supreme to spend time together, the two of you especially like traveling to other planets or alike to explore or go on holiday.

Steven Grant (Marc and Jake too i guess)

-          Unsurprisingly you meet Steven because of moon knight business. You first spotted him when he entered the afterlight as it is partly your domain, but before you could interact with him, he left again. You’re intrigued by the man, so you keep one of your many million eyes on him.

-          You let small parts of yourself start to slither into the human realm by poking holes in the fabric that is reality. Normally you would just have shoved a chunk of yourself out there, but the god that follows Steven around would notice immediately. Not that you couldn’t win with ease if the god wanted to fight, but you didn’t feel like it.

-          You had planned to grace over his mind for a shape when he slept, but he so rarely did. It made the small part of yourself you had put under his bed jolt as he got right back up, after he had gone to sleep. Flexing your abilities, you figured out there were not one, not two, but three people in the body, one of them being Steven.

-          Now you have always been an eternal everchanging being, so it didn’t weird you out or anything, you simply noted down for later to pay attention to who was fronting and that was it.

-          Weeks pass like this, and you’re comfortable just watching and observing. That is until Steven apparently gains control of the body in the middle of a battle. He’s lost and doesn’t even realize he’s in a fight until he almost gets punched.

-          Steven appears not to be much of a fighter, but you stay still until one of the people he was fighting pulls out a gun, which you now know is a weapon. You collect all the small shadows you’ve had cross over and mash them together to take form. You take a human form, the only thing showing you’re less than human nature are your eyes, which turn pitch black.

-          You make quick work of the goons, going as far as to crush the gun in your hand and flinging the people across the street and into a dumpster.

-          The god that follows Steven around immediately gets confrontational and curses at you and wants you gone, but you ignore him to crouch down to Steven and ask if he’s alright, lifting a smoke covered hand, where the smoke slithers around and seems to heal whatever bruises and cuts he has.

-          It takes some explaining and calming Steven down to explain who and what you are, and why you are there. He blushes when you explain how you found him so interesting and sweet you couldn’t help but want to stick around.

-          Khonsu seems to stop his cursing and threats when he figures out you are far beyond even his level of power, though the two of you don’t seem to realize. You don’t even notice when he seems to leave, giving you major side-eye.

-          One thing leads to the next and you’re spending a lot of time together, though its just you and Steven since you leave when you notice the other two fronting. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable or anything, and you and Steven thought that since Marc and Jake kept a lot of secrets in the past from him, its okay until you two know each other more.

-          When you start officially dating you end up introducing yourself to Marc and Jake, who both seem quite uneasy with you, but when they hear how you and Steven talk about each other they begrudgingly agree.

-          They won’t admit it, but they start to like you too, and get red in the face when you compliment them or hug them.

-          You and Steven talk about his interests for hours, and you can tell him many things that Khonsu doesn’t know or hasn’t told him, you even go as far as to tell him about how you have your own realm and alike. You visit it at some point, though there isn’t much to see as its just darkness and void.

-          Steven helps you learn the ways of the human world, though he struggles with it himself too, so you lean on each other for support. Though most days it can become quite a lot and you’ll just go home and cuddle in bed until Steven falls asleep and either Marc or Jake takes over, the man blushing when they realize they’re in your arms.

[skyeeeesworld]

It's not what it looks like! (Spider Maple!)

Characters : Kazuha and little sibling reader (gender not mentioned)

Genre : idk? modern AU, spider-man AU but it's Spider Maple lmao it's the best I could come up with

Summary? : You came back home after a long fight and your older brother discovers you're Spider Maple

CW? : Mentions of injuries (nothing major I don't think), reader is bout 17 in this, not proofread apologies for mistakes

Word count : 760

Note : this was written on a whim, so it's probably not the greatest.

A tired huff left your lips as you climbed through your bedroom window, soaked to the bone from the rain. Your body felt sore and achy from the fight that just happened that lasted over a hour. Some bad guys are persistent…

After getting through the window and closing it, you pulled off your mask and letting it drop to the floor with a squelch. Feeling fatigued, you stumble back on your bed, letting the cosy covers and comfort mattress relax you. The scent of your room helped put you at ease from the previous chaos. Eyes shutting closed and your body screaming ‘at last! Rest!’

Being a super hero was harder than it looked - the movies and shows on TV made it look fun and easy, but after experiencing it yourself… A lot of hard choices were made and self-sacrifices were done. Not to mention the amount of injuries you’d come back home with which was very difficult to hide away from your older brother whom seemed to have a 6th sense knowing if you’re injured. Must be a skill from the years he spend raising you without parents.

A loud gasp sounded from your door, it was one of pure shock (and maybe horror?). It made your eyes fly open, back shooting up from the bed and head whipping to the side as you witnessed your brother, Kazuha drop folded clothes - your clothes that had been stained.

No words left Kazuha as his eyes darted around at what you were wearing. Soaked, a outfit exactly like famous Spider Maple, a forming bruise on your eye and a swollen cheek. Goodness knows how many more injuries that hid beneath your suit - the suit that was spiderweb design and had a few Japanese maple leafs adorned on, the colour combos of white and reds.

It didn’t take long or very much effort for Kazuha to connect the dots. Having just seen the news earlier (with that annoying news presenter snapping away how much he hates Spider Maple) he knew that you just came back from a fight. Which scared him. It also explained why you’d be gone for so long and sometimes at such late hours.

“What the fu-?!” Kazuha gasped, now fully processed what the sight in front of him meant.

“I know what it looks like! But it isn’t what it looks like!” You cut him off, standing up from your bed. Your bed now also being wet. You wafted you hands in front of you, trying to explain what it looks like.

Your eyes looked at everything but Kazuha, coming up with an excuse. “I was at a cosplay convention with my friends… we got hold up and stuck in the rain…” You glanced at your brother, words trailing off to silence at his squinted eyes and hands on his hips. He knows exactly what it looks like.

After a few seconds of awkward silence with your brother’s scolding stare. He then crossed arms, looking like a parent about to tell off their naughty child. “Coming back late most nights. Frequently getting injured. Lying to me. That getup which definitely doesn’t look like it was made for cosplay. I’d sure I know what it looks like.”

Your head bowed down, caught like a fly caught in a spider’s web, only this time a spider was caught in its own web. You wanted to apologise, but at something this big was going to take a little more than an apology.

Kazuha stepped closer to you, relaxing at the sight before him - his little sibling looking like a kicked puppy. He couldn’t stay mad at you, of course not. He was just worried. It was natural to act this way when you find out that someone your love and care for has been risking their life. It especially didn’t help that if he didn’t know you were a super hero and you died during battle… he wouldn’t have any idea until after, where he couldn’t come save you or protect you. Your were his little sibling. He loved you.

Your brother wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in an embrace and letting your head rest on his chest. “It’s okay… I was worried. You’re going to have to tell me more after you shower and get dressed okay? I’ll make you dinner.”

With a nod coming from you, Kazuha let you go to shower. Obviously not without another squeeze (very gently because he noticed you winced when he hugged you).

Prepare for a lecture.

[thickenmyblood]

fics i think about every single day of my sad little life

Incision by Ccainao3

The Akielon loses the fight.

Sometimes I want to die and it’s because of this fic right here. No words.

Canis Major by Lapin

It starts because Aimeric is a pushy, arrogant, little bastard who has never learned when he needs to keep his mouth shut. His very presence at this party already irritates Laurent in the worst way.

Laurent is only trying to be a good friend to Jord. Damen was never supposed to be a factor.

Okay so this fic is not only VERY WELL written (as in, perfectly) but it also has all the best tropes EVER: pining Damen, fake dating, Auguste as an ALIVE older brother, NICAISE, Damen and Auguste are bros. Amazing dialogue, and the chemistry between Laurent and Damen is fucking BONKERS. And one more thing: THE SEX SCENE WAS SO HOT. IT WAS SCALDING MY EYEBALLS.

Nature by ahdriking

Laurent snorts, drinking in Damen’s horror like it is something to be savoured.

“I have done nothing,” he says, “but aided nature in its course.”

Pain, but the good kind.

before it all burned down by onekingdomonce

It was true that love was nothing like people explained it to you. Growing up, no one told you that you might find it in more than one place. You find your soulmate. Your one. No fairytales prepared you for the feeling of that sentiment being ripped down the middle, figuratively and literally. Laurent didn’t know how to live with it, so he just had to.

You know sometimes I wake up at, like, five am and I wonder how Nikandros is doing in this universe. This fic ruined my brain and we need to talk about it more often because it’s so fucking hard to get GOOD cheating fics and this one is NEXT LEVEL. This is subtle, but fucked up, but sweet, but sour, but Jesus Christ just READ IT. THE CHEATING IS SO GOOD IN THIS, GO ADULTERY! GO! AND THE WRITING JKBGKJBGK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The World's More Full Of Weeping by deripmaver

At thirteen, a boy named Laurent Devere had gone into the woods with his uncle.

What had come out was wrong. He was wrong.

He was not Laurent.

He was a changeling, and he needed to find a way to bring Laurent home.

Petition for derip to stop. This fic is a MASTERPIECE. This was so sad but sweet it sometimes had me CRYING my eyes out and that’s no easy task considering I have like three tears left. No spoilers but the final scene had me sobbing like a fucking child. It is SO GOOD. Best tropes ever too: trauma (lmao, am I calling trauma a trope? yes, this is derip’s fic), AUGUSTE AND LAURENT’S CRUMBLING BUT STILL THERE RELATIONSHIP, angst, the horrible realization that you will never be a child again and that there are parts of you that have died or been killed by life but also that does not do this justice. PLEASE READ THIS FIC.

No Plan by melancholicpie

Laurent and Damen are not bonded by the Red String of Fate. Laurent worries about it.

Loved this concept so much. This was originally posted in 2020 and has now been re uploaded so just take a chance and read it because it’s the best take on soulmates I’ve read in this fandom!

between them, sharp as a knife by Ccainao3

Damen tells Laurent his true identity at Ravenel.

It doesn't go well.

Good Boy by DreamDrop

Auguste wouldn't have suspected the turn his life took after his brother came back from France to live with him. Now he couldn't imagine ever going back to the way it was before. Especially not after meeting Nik. Not after experiencing the stunning sub looking up at him and calling him Daddy.

I KNOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING.THIS PAIRING WORKS HERE. I SWEAR TO GOD IT DOES. Also the porn here is very, very, very hot. Very hot. I think about this at least ten times a month. 

Étude by xlydiadeetz

“The heart has a melody. Once you discover it, there’s no going back.”

Present day, Auguste is dead. The Golden Pianist is gone, and Laurent finds himself completely alone in the world. Haunted by the ghost of the promise he never accomplished, he goes through the stages of grief as he remembers his brother and deals with the return of a high school crush who makes him start to believe once again in the beauty of music.

No words, just pain. Most painful fic of my life. If you’re a Laurent lover this is a MUST READ. No skipping the classics. This is a fandom gem. This is like the Bible but for Capri fans.

Notorious by VeretianStarburst

“You genuinely don’t know who I am, do you?” Laurent asked, tilting his head back to look into Damen’s eyes.

“Should I?”

“I’m rather notorious around here. I have a feeling you’ll find out why soon enough.”

This is so good and the ending was so good and I want more. Mafia AU, baby!

Lose You by Ellies

“I’m pregnant,”

Damen paled as soon as those words left his mouth. Laurent felt vaguely sick himself.

“What?”

This is or the Incision fans. Hell yes, this fic is INSANELY good. It will keep you on the edge of your seat. It’s SO GOOD.

[this is me trying] by ace_assin9

Aimeric would like to say it wasn’t his fault. What happened. He’d like to, but he’s never been much of a liar. Not unless he’s already spitting mad. Lies don’t formulate themselves like prophecies demanding to be spoken, not like they seem to for the others. He blames the fact that he’s never had to lie. He’s only ever had to hide and hope his parents don’t find him when he fucks up. With five older siblings, it had never been particularly hard.

“Aimeric,” Jord said, haltingly. His shoulders were tense. “D’you think you should see a therapist?”

THIS FIC IS ONE OF THE BEST AIMERIC FICS OUT THERE AFTER CHERRY WINE. I LOVE THIS FIC SO MuCH SOMETIMES I WAKE UP GASPING BECAUSE I CANNOT BELIEVE IT EXISTS AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH PLEASE READ IT. PLEASE. GIVE AIMERIC A CHANCE I AM BEGGING YOU.

I Don't Smoke by rmayuscula

He loves Jord, loves him the most. But not enough to let himself be wrecked by him, to be kicked to the curb like a dog, like his parents did to him. To be used by him, like he has been before. He’ll stay here.

“I could wait too. You could come back.”

Everything Leo writes is cool (check out his latest fics btw, he’s DERANGED) bt this fic will always be special to me because it’s the only fic that made me like Jord as a character. YOU NEED TO READ THIS. GIVE AIMERIC A CHANCE. PLEASE. 

all alone by desastrista

Inspired by Green But For a Season. AU - Auguste never discovers Jord and so Jord never joins the Princes Guard. Instead, he finds work at Fortaine, where he is assigned to instruct Lord Guion's fourth son in swordfighting.

Amazing fic. If you’re looking for something that reads like canon and has this tragic feel to it, give this a try. PLEASE. You will NOT be disappointed. Amazing writing.

Works In Progress - Special Mentions:

(Not) Meant For You by Holly_Golightly

With the internet buzzing over Auguste and Damen’s latest fight and Auguste going off the rails a little bit, Laurent was fairly positive now was the worst possible time for him to accidentally send Damen a text meant for his ex. A text asking for sex.

Auguste was going to kill him.

This fic will be my death. I can’t seem to NOT think about it. Auguste in this is so amazingly fucked up. I love him so much. Lamen here are 10/10

All My Words by��itallends

Over one quiet summer, Damen becomes enamoured with his son's boyfriend.

UGH my gem, my guilty pleasure, my love. I love this fic even though it leaves me feeling like a gutted fish. Damen is so fucking hot in this. PLEASE READ.

Concordia by Ccainao3

He’d had hope, after those talks, that when the sting of Olympic loss had faded he and Auguste would be able to salvage something of their old friendship. This doesn’t seem likely now. Sorry I gave you a concussion when I checked you is one thing; sorry I beat you out for the gold medal and then had your little brother wear it while I fucked him is another.

Is your fic rec a fic rec if Concordia isn’t in it? GHHHHHHHHGGBJKGJGJGJGJ I hate this author so much, she poisons my brain with her stupidly well written fics and they won’t leave my MIND. Seriously this fic is SO GOOD. Angry Auguste, Protective Damen, Asshole Laurent. ALSO... Erasmus and Damen in this... they’re my OTP even though they’re not together like that in this. 

Pop Stars by silentdescant

Laurent has been famous since he was a preteen, signed to his uncle's label, Regency Records. Damen and Nik front an indie band and signed with Regency for the opportunity to go on a world tour and open for Laurent.

NO WORDS. Groundbreaking. Wonderful. An ode to suffering.

The Firebird Suite by treeprince

Ancel knew the Regent preferred his pets blue-eyed and younger, but he was the best, so he wasn’t too worried that he couldn’t turn the highest head. If nothing else, he knew he’d make a lasting impression and land himself a contract either with someone much more suited to his tastes, or better.

After all, the only person looking out for him was himself, so there wouldn’t be any need to improve his circumstances with his current owner. There was no use in sticking his neck out for those who wouldn’t do the same for him.

WHY WON’T GOD LET ME HAVE GOOD THINGS. WHY. @treeprince just fucking update it’s KILLING ME. Best Berencel fic of 2020-2021-forever.

sanguinary poultice, love charm by Lapin

A different brother dies at Marlas, a king is crowned, and a new prince is born.

In a garden in Patras, Damen meets Laurent.

No, you do NOT understand. Laurent pretends to be a pet and Damen believes it and this fic is literally the most beautiful thing I read all year. You don’t UNDERSTAND. By the time you see this it’ll probably be completed but... Jesus Christ. The chapters are super long and juicy and beautiful. The scene transitions are SEAMLESS. The sex is so fucking good (Canis Major levels of good). PLEASE read this. The writing is so, so, so, so good. DAMEN IS SO OBLIVIOUS AND I LOVE KASTOR’S LITTLE SON. PLEASE, PLEASE READ THIS if you love love and pain and jokes and pining.

Sunblind by Folfar

The sun is in Auguste’s eyes when he dies. It is there when he wakes up, too.

Everyone has read this fic. We all agree it’s the best of the best. MOST ANTICIPATED AUGUSTE FIC EVER. Damen and Auguste bonding. Laurent... well, READ IT. 100000000/10

Wait, did you think I was done? Without mentioning my favorite fic of alll time? Surprise, bitch.

The Mannequin Gallery by marrieddorks

Laurent was still standing at the bookshelf, his fingers grazing the edge of one of the shelves near eye-level, seemingly scanning the array of titles like that was what he was here for. As he slowly walked, following the parallel lines of the shelves, the angle of him changed, allowing Damen to take in the neat way his sweater was tucked into his pants, the way the belt there accentuated the waist that Damen knew was underneath all those layers, the waist that was so slight in comparison with the build of his illusionary-worthy shoulders, the wisps of hair escaping the low ponytail his hair was pulled into, dancing around the elegant column of his neck like a nonexistent necklace, and the ridiculous length of his eyelashes as the, however briefly, rested on the apples of his cheeks for a blink.

“I, however, am not my uncle,” Laurent continued, his fingers hesitating over a well-used copy of 'Il barone rampante' by Italo Calvino. “Because of that, I will not make his mistake in my counter-offer to you.”

“Counter-offer?”

“Work for me instead,” Laurent said.

Best fic ever. IT HAS JUST BEEN UPDATED. PLEASE READ IT. Soon we’ll get fake dating and fake kisses that are actually real and I need you to PLEASE READ THIS. I am on my knees. Begging. Crying. Throwing up. Laurent is a model. Damen is an influencer. Together they escape from the Regent lol. Something like that... READ THE FIC.