Look I'm really proud of this ok
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Percy seeing an old satyr that is a completely different race than his best friend and saying with his whole chest “Man, Grover got really old” is the FUNNIEST FUCKING THING IN THIS EPISODE FIGHT ME I AM RIGHT
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Some of you didn’t seem to understand how magic works in the sense of how you can access it. I’ll explain again.
If you gain magical power from making a deal with a more powerful being, you are a warlock. Sneaky lawyer.
If you gain magical power through teachings and studies, you are a wizard/artificer. (Artificers usually gain power through experimentation.)
If you gain magical power by pledging yourself to a cause, being, or idea, you are a paladin. Pretentious bitch.
If you gain magical power by praising a higher deity (and not making a deal), you are a cleric. Heal someone.
If you have magical power and you didn’t do anything to gain it, you are a sorcerer. Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. The rest of us had to work for our shit.
If you gain magical power by protecting nature and caring for plants and animals, you are a Druid. Fucking hippie.
If you gain magical power from your desire to entertain and also fuck, you are a bard. Stop trying to seduce my dad.
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imagining a competition between Bruce and Clark where they try to see who can play dumb more convincingly and it’s just a masterclass in acting and posture without an obvious winner. one look at them as civilians and most would write them off as idiots. the people who do know them can’t bear to watch their routines in person because they’re too good, in a way that just wrong enough to make your teeth itch.
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you know the "aliens made them do it" variant of the fuck or die trope? i think the funniest possible subversion of this is like... outsider pov, but specifically the pov of the alien xenobiologist phd student who's just like please. please i placed these two humans in an isolated setting with provisions for food, water, waste removal, and sleep. im waiting. please i just. please why aren't they... im STILL waiting. what do i have to do???? please... my thesis...!!!
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Some Andrew Sketches bc its almost his birthday :D (plus the dilemma of drawing characters canonically from the early 2000s)
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Captain Price wondered what it was this time as he entered the common area to find his Lieutenent snorting, his Seargants full blown howling and you, his Corporal, looking absolutely moritifed, fingers raking down your face as Soap got on his knees in front of you.
"Oh naw! I've went and tripped so I have, dinnae want anyone tae think I'm doing something neferious with my wee sister."
"Shut up shut up shut up" you chanted.
"Grab a camera will you Gaz? This kind of stuff makes good money."
"Good thinking LT. Come on Soap, get closer."
"Don't encourage him!"
"Having fun are we?"
"Captain! Make them stop" you whined, shoving at Soap's head between your legs.
"You'll never guess who got on like a house on fire at that medal ceremony" Simon said to Price, smug grin perpetual.
Price raised an eyebrow in question as Gaz sidled up to his side, looking giddy to be able to tell him.
"Spotted Soap's dad with the Corporal's lovely mother. Looked like they were getting pretty close outside" he almost sang as you cringed.
"I ken my old man, reckon he'll have gotten close inside as well."
"Soap! Captain make them stop!"
"Oh, no no. This is a family matter, you'll need to sort it out with your step-brother. I'm sure I've seen a movie where the step-sister convinces her step-brother by-"
You screamed into your hands and resigned yourself to never ever living this down. You hoped you mum was happy.
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You’re wanted for tax fraud. I’m wanted for flying a dragon into an archwizard’s tower during his 900th birthday, killing 47. We are not the same.
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