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clarisinne · 2 months

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do you ever plan on adding any of harvey’s heart events to the cringe fail comic

you know what, not really!! but who knows i might do some flashbacks + the hot air balloon could happen anytime before they get married so! that one is still... up in the air!!! (ba dum tss..)

i don't know look i did contemplate it, but it just feels like taking too much from the game? she does find out he's into planes after they get to 8 hearts and i was thinking of exploring it a bit, but i wanted to put my own spin on it and i haven't come up with anything yet

#i also think it'd be funnier if she stumbled upon the aerobics class after they're already dating #completely aware of her feelings by now #if it had happened in the past she'd just get uncomfortably flushed and not understand why #it's funnier if she understands why at this point

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bigfatbreak · 5 months

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Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

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thewingedwolf · 1 year

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luther: the golden child

diego: the mastermind

allison: the peace keeper

klaus: the clown / mascot

five: the rebel / truth teller

ben: the lost child

viktor: the scapegoat

is this something i think this is something

#the umbrella academy #rani makes text posts no one will read #hargreeves siblings #ben being the lost child is kind of forced bc he’s dead but i find it interesting even then #bc ben was unique in the family for already hating being a superhero and his powers due to the horror of them. and however it is he died #it had to be horrific bc viktor doesn’t write about it in his book bc five doesn’t know what happened. and before he died ben’s unique self #awareness seems to have meant they all loved him in a normal way only for his death to poison those bonds completely #so through no decision of his own this very sullen and cranky child has to become a self sacrificing wallflower bc the only way he gets to #even exist is if he takes care of klaus and tries to sober him up. his big moment is sacrificing himself for his siblings! they can’t ever #escape the abuse that reginald heaped onto them!! even in death they’re playing roles reginald forced them into #and sparrow ben is clearly so used to being the manipulator so he’s thrown when his family dies and sloane refuses to be manipulated anymore #and he winds up kind of lost child esque accidentally *anyway* - ignored and repressing his feelings and unable to connect emotionally #also before anyone says diego is too stupid to be the mastermind google ‘the mastermind dysfunctional family role’ it doesn’t require you to #not be a himbo only to be willing to be cruel & as they all say in s1 diego never knows when to stop #pogo is an adult enabler. grace has a weird function bc the umbrella kids love her and diego is convinced she killed reginald bc of abuse #five seems similarly attached to her (makes sense given delores) but the others see her more as an enabler which is INTERESTING #i’m gonna stop rambling now

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jrueships · 1 month

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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um #so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of #which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time #but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work #BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one #i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule #so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule #and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one #sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me #sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore #n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr #i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT #I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO #like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days #but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2 #BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there #bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a #trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION #im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like #we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up #i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING #i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid

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darlinimamess · 4 months

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i feel like it’s saying something that this is the 3rd time in 4 years that i’ve needed to take a step back from the intense taylor love bc of her silence around a huge issue

#miles thots #and the first one was the 2020 protests which was right around the time miss americana came out iirc and she was so loud about women’s right #s #and artists rights and pride but completely silent about Everything else #and the second was ratty. and tbh i don’t feel bad for being upset ab that #and this is literally huge. she could use her platform now to raise awareness and money for palestine the way she got so many people to vote #and instead she’s staying away from it all and i truly don’t understand. she’s literally the one who said she wants to be more vocal and #likes that we hold her accountable. and its okay when she said ‘gay’ in a song or asked her not to kiss a girl in a mv if she wasn’t serious #but not when it comes to a fucking genocide???#cool!!#i think i need to not listen to her for a while again

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nebulousfishgills · 29 days

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As much as I love playing embrace Dark Urge runs (discussion in therapy pending), there's something so narratively satisfying about how a Resist Durge playthrough can go once you get to the Bhaal Temple. Your character steps into the ring with Orin, it's intended to be a duel, but odds are you're getting eviscerated pretty quickly. You then switch to one of your other characters in your party and throw an attack, effectively breaking the duel and setting the whole temple upon you.

(Adding a cut because this ended up being longer than I thought)

But, I think it's a very satisfying way to play. Your party members have grown fond of your Durge, seeing them as a friend, a family member, even a lover. They've watched you and your pain over your Urge and what it makes you do or want to do. Maybe you've slipped up once or twice, but you've been trying so hard to be the hero they know you can be, that Faerûn needs. So, when it comes time to finally face your demons and you're getting so horribly hurt in the process, they can't help but rush to your defense. It'll put all of them in danger, but it doesn't matter because they want and need to help you, their ally and companion.

Bonus points if you select your character's romanced companion as the savior/duel interruptor to make it extra delicious. They've fallen in love with you, stayed with you when your Urge craved their blood the most, maybe by this point in the game you've helped put their demons down as well. They see you in pain, a final valiant effort to overcome your Urge against the power of Orin, a whole cult, a god of murder himself. They want to protect you, save you as you saved them.

I'm also fond of the extra beauty of Astarion being your Resist Durge romance since it puts the two of you in very similar situations. Fighting against the will of your masters, finally defeating your demons with your newfound companions' help and being offered the greatest power you could ever fathom... only to deny it, ignore power in favor of your party and your love.

This isn't even mentioning just how goddamn good the Withers resurrecting you cutscene is. This skeleton in your camp with unknown and unfathomable power (also apparently supposed to be Jergal himself if I've done my research properly?) is able to bring you back to life, free of your Urge. The line along the lines of "Bhaal could only destroy what of you that he knew, but because you've grown past your Urge and become your own person, he couldn't destroy that new growth" is just so weirdly powerful narratively. Tav may be a default character for you to create upon making a new save file, but Durge is the canon protagonist and I think that entire scene shows it the best. It's a beautiful secondary climax of the narrative (primary being battling the Netherbrain of course).

And, perhaps it's just an oversight on Larian's part or something that'd be a bit difficult to work into the cutscenes mechanically, but I think that it could only get more impactful if your companions could comfort each other during these moments. Everyone and their mother wishes you could hug Astarion after he kills Cazador, but also imagine your romanced companion cradling your body after Bhaal kills you. It seems just a little odd that they all (meaning your party) kinda just stand around staring at your corpse, especially with how close y'all have gotten.

Idk, I have a lot of thoughts about this section of the game in this particular type of playthrough and some of them are hard to articulate into words. It's just such a damn good narrative peak and can really make you feel things.

I've completed I think two resist Durge runs and just hit this point on my third and it really stuck out to me this time (then again my new antidepressants are kinda fucking with me so that might be playing a role). I left it as my last mission before dealing with the Netherbrain and I think it helped build the anticipation of that moment. Everyone else has been helped by you, and now it's your turn to come into your own. I really felt so connected to my character walking into the temple, feeling like everything has been building to this, that regardless of what happens our suffering will finally end. And you have your party there to help you in your time of greatest need as you've done for them.

There's a reason this game was Game of the Year, the narrative is just so powerful and the replay-ability is just insane. I've beaten this game ten times, heading for my eleventh and it truly just never gets old and never fails to make me feel so many things so strongly.

#we're gonna bypass how i have the withers big naturals mod installed #because it kinda undercuts the moment when withers comes in to resurrect you and he has these massive honkers #i'm a big fan of embrace durges since it's a great way for me to let loose without real world consequence #(my anticipation for patch 7 grows daily of course)#and it's also just fun to be your worst self and create the fucking legion of doom with your party #you'll never beat the sheer power of an evil durge/ascended astarion/dark justiciar shadowheart/minthara team up #I AM FULLY AWARE I AM SINNING WHEN I ASCEND ASTARION AND IT PAINS ME EVERY TIME BUT I LIKE EVIL NARRATIVES SUE ME #but a resist durge run makes me feel so many more things #helping shadowheart with her family helping astarion learn to be his best self free from cazador lifting the shadow curse among other things #plus everything I mentioned in the main post #and then the final crescendo of the score at the end of the epilogue party cutscene is a HUGE chills moment #although i will always be mad that in order to keep gale from ascending you have to make him seek forgiveness from mystra #she should be apologizing to him wtf no wonder i accidentally ascended him so many times him #gale telling her to shove it just MAKES MORE SENSE and is the healthier thing to do but it gets you his fucking bad ending wth #okay i suppose him blowing himself up is his bad ending but whatever #apparently him exploding the netherbrain can get you the win for honor mode and as someone who can't even get through balanced mode #you bet your sweeeeeet ass i'm not above sending gale to blow himself up to avoid a run ending fight if i got that far #honor mode is not about getting the ending you want it's just about completeing it and dude there's no way in hell i'll get close otherwise #i'll shut up now #fishgills speaks #fishgills plays bg3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #bg3 durge

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doctorwhoisadhd · 4 months

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im out rn and taylor swift's antihero is playing and one of the lyrics is genuinely "ill stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror" which is incredible since she seems incapable of self reflection

#ari opinion hour #i picked that one up because of the first half of the line to which i was like omg hellmouth sunbeams blaseball mention #anyway the lyrics arent well written there are some interesting things in there but theyre not used well #certain lines about Half of them are great and then the other half is like Okay what are you going for here #like of the line i doubt theres any lines that the WHOLE line is like actually good #the problem is not clunkiness to be clear musical comedy is great have you listened to flight of the conchord #there are many many good applications for clunkiness it can give a sense of awkwardness which can be very useful #the problem is that she does not know what her own goal is #it really seems like part very self-aware lies part actual insecurity part intentional acting and it doesnt work #theres just very little sincereness here it very clearly comes across as someone who never gets told no #like she just completely whiffed so hard on all of this metaphor #god thinking about it now and its not even like itd be HARD to do basically any of it well it would be EASY #especially there's a bit about feeling like a 'monster lurching towards your favorite coty'#which like how the fuck do you whiff THAT #itd be SO easy to use that as a metaphor for being famous and feeling like you stick out #but nah that whole like kinda sucks its clunky

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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 2 months

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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.

#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me #there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do #wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget #support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to #live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have #no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've #seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not #remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you #never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you #think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was #when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget #unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my #sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's #enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will #to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards #your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the #older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or #you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which #as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken #literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely #twisted version of events

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justablah56 · 5 months

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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .

#just blahs #not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3 #just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone #and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that #without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended #bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself #gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me #and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok #this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself #aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong #and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week #jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person #and i know that they know i didnt mean it #and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of #and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person #i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok #its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw

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zincbot · 8 months

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WWW EPISODE 19

#worlds beyond number #THE SECRET OF CONTINGENCY WITCH BOLT #AUGH SUVI AND EURSULON MAKE ME CRAZY #'knowing what steel said about spirits being impossible to control. i don't want to think the same applies to my brother'#i was seeing the parallels to port talon immediately so when suvi thought it too i aughhh #not witch bolt on eursulon i'm gonna cry #AND WHAT ABT BADGER BEING IN THE COLLECTION AT A TIME #i want eursulon to free these spirits but also the specific one that called him.. i dunno if i trust that one...#also the implication that his sister's quest might have been to find him. and where is she now #the contrast between two people he calls his sister both. each from a different world completely.#i'm so crazy about suvi rn man #worlds beyond number spoilers #in the tags #it's not the most recent episode but its a close thing #also i feel the danger frm the collector guy but i also am fully aware of the unplayed card that is ame knows his true name #man AND WHEN SUVI GOT IN HIS WAY AND EURSULON PUSHED HER ASIDE #i NEED suvi and eursulon to have a fight in the future NOT IN A BAD WAY i just think that eursulon is super not aware of suvi's fucked up #emotion swarm abt him and his actions and who he is. (see. not seeing the connection to himself when suvi that thing abt spirits who come to #the mortal world 'getting what they get')#and i think the best way for him to understand is for suvi to scream it at him #even though i Know she wouldn't do that delicately #but that's why i love her ♥️#I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE EPISODE YET SORRY I CAME HERE FROM THE WITCH BOLT CRITERIA

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oh-katsuki · 10 months

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its very strange losing a friend because there are moments of clarity and moments of overwhelming grief and moments of a very unplaceable pain and sorrow. it dredges up memories of friends you may have lost before or the people who left this world sooner rather than later. and you just sort of ache for them and for their pain… what they must have felt to want to leave so suddenly. even if you hadn’t spoken in a while, or if you spoke every day, or if you’d promised to speak but always forgotten. your heart just sort of longs for them. for the ability to do so.. and it just sort of comes up empty.

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blujayonthewing · 8 months

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🤔 juniper wondering if it was possessive of her to break up with isabelle after being told no, you silly thing, of course I won't marry you, but I can assure you that my eventual husband won't mind that I have you, everyone has mistresses after all

was it selfish, then, to want her all to herself? was it only that she couldn't stand to share, like a petulant child? would it not have been enough just to be allowed to stay near her...?

#after all if she was TRULY so devoted wouldn't she happily-- gratefully-- accept as much or as little of isabelle as she was given?#after all what more COULD she reasonably ask-- much less expect?#she didn't walk back the breakup and she never spoke or wrote to isabelle again #but she was sick with grief over her for ages #first love... :')#now it's been seven years and she's MOSTLY good about being secure in 'I deserve more than being a rich woman's pet??'#but sometimes she thinks about the children belle must have by now-- children whose lives she might have been a part of--#and it feels like a black pit inside of her #having a girlfriend who has repeatedly and proactively asserted her support for juniper exactly as she is--#has done a LOT to counterbalance the years-nagging sense that she carelessly threw away the best relationship she could possibly hope for #isabelle was not a good person. she was completely aware of the power and experience imbalance in their relationship and relished in it #I do think she loved juniper in her own way-- but in the same way a wealthy young girl loves any sweet and devoted pet #I imagine she was more furious than heartbroken when juniper left #my OCs #juniper

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abandonmutt · 1 year

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Nothing quite like therapy to simultaneously make you realize how mentally unwell you are and also make you feel like you’re completely unsalvageable

#“you’re putting yourself in a box she says bc I dare to acknowledge I’ll always be mentally I’ll #ill*#“you need to work toward being unmedicated she says as if I can just will my way out of this #and then I tell her the state im in and she shrinks and shuts down and clearly has no idea what to do with that #like girl I wish I’d just kept playing the game bc now I’ve opened up and made myself aware of some of these shitty feelings #and you aren’t even equipped to seriously help #do you think that everything can be cured? do you see some magical future where I just become a normal and completely functional person?#that’s not how this works

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just-someone-online · 2 years

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I started watching DT87, and it is weird. I don't think it's bad or anything, but it feels weird watching the original after watching the reboot first.

#ducktales #dt87 #it's mostly beakly and the kids that are weird #i'm used to the spy her spy-in-training granddaughter and the visually/vocally distinct triplets #i don't hate 87 webby btw. apparently that's an unpopular opinion?#i prefer 17 webby but 87 isn't like the devil incarnate or anything #i was always vaguely aware of the og ducktales but i hadn't ever watched it #and watching it now? with the reboot's characterizations and designs planted firmly in my head #it is w e i r d dude #and if i ever watch darkwing duck then it's gonna feel weird too #i looked up the designs for gandra doofus and gosalyn and it's just #wow #completely different from what i'm used to

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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...

#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours #like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing???#2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete #my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being #all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what #i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way #also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i #have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year #and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here!#and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt #tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃#i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done #but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even #find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music #and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart #time time time not enough and far too much #its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where #like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded #blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss #ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy #i cant even make proper time to draw #unrelated

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hobisexually · 2 years

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x

#You know what’s weird?#in a way I am more steady in myself than I have ever been. I see my worth rather than pretend I see my worth but actually don’t #I see where all my shit stems from in a way I never used to. I talk about it in a communicative way I was never able to before #like all of it is lining Up and somehow? I also feel worse?#I don’t know if it’s because I’m just more aware now and also more capable of changing my habits or whatever or if it’s just less repressed #but like. been having seasonal affective disorder since I was eight probably and even before but then you didn’t know #and I didn’t put the pieces together until. what. 2014? 2015? I didn’t know it had a name #and id always count it a good winter if I hadn’t disassociated at all. that was the goal.#now 2022 is over and the months where id disassociate are also over (it always gets easier for me come January)#and I made it through without disassociating! that’s a huge win right! right? but …..#and somehow it felt like? SUCH a rough winter? and I handled it well but everything feels so heavy #and I know it’s not worse than prior years. I do. but it doesn’t FEEL like that #perhaps that’s because of everhthing that happened in December and my falling out with my dad and my owning up to how deep my trauma runs #instead of passing it off as ‘haha yeah some things were rough and winter sucks BUT I AM SO CHIPPER AND GOOD AND UPBEAT HA!’#but honestly looking at it just. is a lot. and logistically I know I genuinely am the best version of myself currently #but 2014 me was funner thinner and wilder and she was also COMPLETELY unhinged and I know I shouldn’t want that version of me back #but I’m constantly comparing current me to her?????? as if she was the ultimate goal #I know when March comes and we’re back at the summer clock I’ll have forgotten how heavy I felt now #but whew…………….. whew it’s a lot #also completely being honest with yourself about jn how many areas your anxiety is Fucking debilitating sometimes #really sucks. it sucks. I feel so raw and vulnerable and I want to stop fixing things and just live #OH THAT TOO my roommate is Living It Up and I used to be able to keep up with her when we were in uni and now I can’t and that just #makes it feel even more like i regressed. I hate it. and again I Know myself now in a way I didn’t then and that’s worth so much #but ugh!!! ugh. and also I HATE that it feels like all I’ve done since November is complain but it’s been. Well. extraordinarily rough #I haven’t even told the internet any of it and even my friends know the minimum but. sigh. SIGH.#just sucks to see where your everything comes from. you know?

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