#but my wiener sure did <3

[bibleofficial]

ok so the guy i met today i met through this other guy i knew that moved & we lost contact but he (today) filled me in & apparently he (moved) got covid BAD in like 2020 or early 2021 & he’s still having to carry an oxygen tank w him :( but also i lost interest after he told me i was ‘unsanitary’ for not shaving my ass like bro …,

[thatfandomslut]

Princess

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, physical bullying that results in injury, fluffy ending

Frankly this isn't my favorite fic I've written but I have tried my very best.

Request:

HEYYY omggg can i request ANYTHING with regina pls i dont care what it is:3 thank you!!

Synopsis:

After someone hurts the reader, Regina will make sure everyone knows not to hurt her princess.

Mean Girls (2024) requests are open.

Regina George was the Queen Bee at North Shore High. She was confident, brilliant, and ambitious. Regina could bring the entire school to their knees if she wanted. Only one person rivaled Regina George in popularity, and that was the only person Regina had a soft spot for. (Y/n) (L/n) was proclaimed Regina's princess by none other than Regina herself. On her own, (Y/n) didn't feel special, but Regina ensured she knew she was. While Regina lived for the popularity, (Y/n) could care less, but it was nice not to get bullied by the jock branch of the school's social structure.

While Gretchen Wieners was Regina's right-hand woman, as she deemed herself to be, (Y/n) could always be found on Regina's side. Regina was someone who was motivated by words of affirmation and physical touch. So, while she was touching (Y/n) in some way, whether their knees were touching or her hand was placed delicately on (Y/n)'s thigh, she reveled in the compliments she received from her girlfriend. Nothing boosted Regina's ego more than the love of her life, her princess, flirting with her shamelessly at the lunch table, not caring if Gretchen, Cady, or Karen heard.

However, today (Y/n) wasn't at the lunch table, in her usual spot. She tended to have everything ready for Regina by the time she reached the cafeteria. This ensured a few minutes alone as the other Plastics were forced to wait in line while (Y/n) and Regina talked about whatever they wanted without the listening ears of the other girls. Regina's brows furrowed as she looked around and didn't see the girl still. "Maybe she's still in class," Gretchen offered, earning a glare from Regina who sent a message to (Y/n), wondering where she was. Perhaps Gretchen was right though. As time passed, Regina grew impatient and agitated over (Y/n)'s absence.

After all, Regina knew that (Y/n) was present that day. They had walked to their homeroom class and their shared first period together. Tapping her fingers on the table, she was becoming more restless. "I'm going to go find her," Regina stated, standing up to leave. The girls went to follow her, but Regina stopped them. She wanted to go alone, and she didn't need Gretchen's constant pestering during their search. Quite frankly, she was also slightly annoyed over the fact that (Y/n) hadn't answered her text message.

As she passed one of the stairwells, Regina heard sniffling causing her to take a step back to see if it was who she thought it was. "Princess," her voice echoed the area, and (Y/n) looked up. Regina's previous annoyance was now abandoned as she saw the puffy lip and bruising eye adorning her girlfriend's face. Making her way over, Regina took (Y/n)'s chin into her feeling delicately as she wiped away some of the driving blood under her busted lip. "Who did this?" Her voice sounded leveled and cold. (Y/n) wiped a tear from her good eye, nervous to touch her other one since it was still stinging. Noticing this, Regina brushed a gentle finger to help rid the girl of her tears.

(Y/n) was led to the bathroom as Regina cleaned her face up. Only (Y/n) was allowed to be exposed to how gentle she could be. "You still haven't answered me, princess," Regina whispered, examining her face, and searching to make sure there was nothing she missed. "You felt like they had the right to hurt you? I need to know so I can burn them to the ground." For someone who was threatening (Y/n)'s bully, she only sounded calm and caring towards the girl in front of her. (Y/n) knew deep down that she also wasn't going to keep it from Regina. She just didn't want to be a snitch or make things worse. But maybe things were already worse at this point. After all, Regina had the sweetest tone in her voice but the most dangerous fire (Y/n) had ever seen in her eyes.

(Y/n) swallowed thickly wincing slightly when she licked her lip. She had forgotten how swollen and sore it was. "Marianne Hayes," she told Regina quietly, feeling Regina's fingers intertwine with (Y/n)'s. Regina's brow rose, wanting to hear everything that had happened. "She said I was sinning, being with a girl as she walked by me in the hall. So, I told her to say it to my face. That's when she turned and punched me. She got another punch in before her friend pulled her off. She reminded them that I was your girlfriend. Marianne made sure to point out that I was defenseless without you before she left, too. Which I'm not! The punch just caught me off guard and… I don't know. She always says things like that to me." (Y/n) expressed, sighing softly as the bell rang. They were supposed to be going to class, but neither of them moved.

(Y/n)'s words were also a revelation to Regina. Nodding slowly, she listened intently. "What do you mean she always says things like that to you? Why didn't you tell me she was talking shit to you?" Regina questioned. The quirk in her brow never left her face as she stared at her girlfriend with care and worry.

"I guess I never felt like it was important to bring up." (Y/n) muttered, looking away. A clear indication she was lying. There was more, and Regina squeezed her hands comfortingly. (Y/n) could be honest with her. She'd always listen to anything and everything that she had to say. "Okay, I suppose I felt like… If I didn't handle this, she'd be right, That I was just your little dog who couldn't defend myself. I wanted to prove that, yes, I'm your girlfriend, and yes, I'm proud, but… I can also defend myself. When I finally had the opportunity, she punched me."

Regina kissed her forehead in understanding. "You are not my dog. You are so much more than whatever the fuck Marianne, of all people, thinks of you. I will make sure she burns to the ground. You are my girlfriend, princess, and I know that you think you need to do things on your own, but I'm here for you." Regina cupped (Y/n)'s cheek gently. For anyone else in the school, seeing Regina this caring and soft was strange. But for (Y/n), this was her girlfriend. She was always this soft with her. "Now, come on. We're going to my house and we are going to watch a dumb romcom." (Y/n) smiled at this, allowing Regina to lead her out of the school, thankful to spend the rest of the day cuddled up to the blonde with She's All That playing on her wide-screen TV.

[smusherina]

bridges burnt - chapter 2 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.

additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)

chapter 1 / chapter 3

You stared at yourself in the mirror. Your suit was still immaculate thanks to your incessant fiddling, adjusting, and pruning. If not for the gel wearing out in your hair and the sweat beading your brow, the illusion was almost believable. Your rings clinked against the sink's enamel, your silver accents glinting in the fluorescent lighting, while a person did their business in the stall behind you. You sighed and washed your hands.

Damn, the soap was nice. They'd really gone all out for the reception, the fall theme extending even to the cinnamon spice soap bars.

Who were you even trying to fool? You were hiding in the bathroom. You'd arrived on the scene of the reception party in relatively high spirits, convinced all was fine and dandy, that Gretchen was looking to make amends in this small way. But you'd been wrong.

The invitation hadn't been a fluke. There hadn't been some mistake, because on the little plaque where your name was scrawled in neat cursive sat another right next to it. On the round table where you'd be sitting, there would be Regina George directly to your left. On your other side would be Shane Oman. Across from you, Damian and Janis.

You stepped out of the bathroom, a lump still firmly lodged in your throat but resolve found. You'd brave it, be an adult about it. The breakup had been perfectly amicable, for the most part anyway, so there was no reason for you to be so wound up.

"The maid of honour is a major bitch." Amanda sidled up to you as you walked towards your table. She directed you to the bar by the arm.

"She won't let us switch?" You asked, dismayed but not surprised.

"She won't even let you move to the spare table," Amanda said indignantly. "The whole time, I swear, she was lookin' me up and down all judgy."

"Ugh," You groaned. "Can she get your strongest drink?" You motioned for the bartender. The man nodded with a smile, seeming relieved to be rescued from the old lady chatting him up. He was a good-looking fella, tattoo sleeves and a military haircut.

"Anything for you?" He asked you, eyes lingering on Amanda shyly. Amanda leered at him unabashedly, batting her eyelashes while he made her drink.

"Just a coke." You'd been sober for a good couple of years now, free of all substances. You'd had a nasty relapse in college, a disgraceful return to party drugs and obscene amounts of alcohol, but you'd been able to find your footing since. Largely due to Amanda's intervention.

"You gonna be alright?" Amanda asked, for now deciding not to make a move on the bartender. You knew she was biding her time, establishing tension before she struck. She picked up men like a shark.

"Sure, yeah. It's gonna be okay. It's just, y'know, my ex. And her ex. And her nemesis and that nemesis' best friend. All good."

Amanda eyed you warily. You sipped at your coke through a straw. She, too, took a large gulp.

By the time the bride and the groom made their entrance, you were sitting in your spot, desperately trying not to make eye contact with the other occupants of the table. Shane was squirming on your right, fiddling with what seemed to be an engagement ring. Janis and Damian, sitting across from you, didn't seem to have changed much, except obviously grown up.

Janis was still unapologetically goth, though seemingly turned more toward clean, angular lines rather than messy, smudged blacks. She had on a dress and a shawl, beaded bangles and silver jewellery covering her wrists. She'd gotten more piercings since you last saw her. Angel bites on her upper lip, a bridge between her eyes, and stretched ear lobes. There were some bold tattoos as well, such as a rose crawling up her neck and the head of a snake on the back of her hand, extending up her arm.

Damian was in a cute, velvety green suit. His shirt, white with light green fleur de lis patterns, had ruffles going down the buttons. The length of its sleeves also surpassed that of the suit's, which made the whole look seem kind of piratey. His natural hair, a poofy afro, the bulky red-tinted glasses, and the pointy boots he had on gave off a bohemian seventies disco star vibe. He had a very specific aesthetic and you couldn't help but be impressed.

The seat on your left was pointedly lacking a person. Only the plaque was there along with its elegant scrawl. You crossed your legs and threaded your fingers together, bracing for the moment somebody said something to you. Or you were forced to do it yourself.

"So..." There it comes. Surprisingly it was Shane, of all people. "You and Regina."

"Huh?" You made a sound.

"I mean, you're here together, right? That's what I heard." He scratched at his neck, seeming nervous. All the confidence and obnoxious self-assurance seemed to have melted off of him.

"No, you- what? Where'd you hear that?"

"Just some nasty gossip. Don't worry about it. Aaron and I know what it's like." He smiled supportively but somewhere in the crevices of his cheeks, it seemed sad. "Have you been out for long?"

Your eyebrows furrowed. Shane and Aaron? Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

"Um, pretty much since high school. To be fair, I didn't tell a lot of people back then. You know how Northshore was." He nodded along solemnly. "But in college I sort of bit the bullet."

"That's really brave. Aaron and I haven't been out for long, only since the new law passed." He still seemed cautious and shy, but talking about Aaron clearly made him happy.

"When did you two get together?"

As Shane began to tell the tale, you slowly began to relax. Maybe Regina wouldn't even show up. If you and Gretchen were estranged, Regina and she were even more so. Regina had never given you details, but you did know Gretchen had been heavily involved in your shitty junior year. They'd had an explosive, very public falling-out that'd led to a whole lot of drama.

By that point, you'd sort of checked out of high school as well as your relationship with Regina, so you'd paid very little attention.

"Oh, here she comes," Shane pointed behind you, cutting off his own story. You whirled around, back crackling as you twisted your spine.

Regina George, in the flesh. Your mouth watered, pupils dilated, and there was no way you could've suppressed your reaction. Her eyes were locked on yours, a predatory glint in her eye as she strutted towards your table.

You almost didn't hear Damian's whistle or Janis' stunned laugh, but as Regina shifted the white fur stole she had to reveal her shoulders and chest, you went wholly deaf to all but the clack of her heels.

She had on a baby pink bodycon dress with a slit sinfully high up on her thigh, satin hugging her hips sensually. She had on white high heels with thin straps at the ankle and fur at the tops of her toes.

Her makeup was natural, with subtle browns and blacks, except for the prominent blush she'd picked. Her hair was a warmer blonde than before, complimenting her tanned skin. She had on golden jewellery, a familiar golden necklace resting on the dip of her clavicles like a taunt.

She kept on advancing towards the table. You could do little else but stare, slack-jawed at the visage of her. Other people were staring too, you could tell. You could only imagine what Gretchen was doing with her face at the moment, perhaps scowling like a pug or maybe looking like she was about to cry. Regina was but a guest and yet...

Regina was never just Regina. You knew that better than anyone. No matter how she dressed, behaved, or what her priorities were, she was an innate presence that influenced those around her. Gretchen inviting her to this wedding was essentially like shooting herself in the foot.

Regina didn't have to try to snatch the attention of the room, but when she did, there was no competition. And Regina had gone all out. You could tell by the movements of her hands, the way her lashes fluttered, and how her mouth parted just a little. It was obvious, at least to you, that Regina was doing what she did best: Revenge.

"Hi, baby," She cooed down at you. You took a moment to react, surprised by how she was suddenly there, right in front of you.

Her hands reached for you, long acrylics brushing against your collar, then your neck, then the back of your neck and in your hair. Her thumbs directed your head to tilt up. She pulled you close as she leaned down and then—peach lipgloss, glittery eyeshadow, saccharine perfume—your skin tingled where she touched you, sparks going off behind your eyelids as they fell closed, bliss pouring out of your pores as you became filled with it.

You kissed her back, took hold of her hips and pulled her to stand between your legs. Fuck, this was bad. But, fuck, it felt good to kiss her again.

Distantly, like someone shouting into the water in which you were submerged, you realized that this was perhaps the worst way, place, and time you could've reunited with Regina.

Even so, you kissed deeper, licking into her mouth until she made a sound you'd so missed all these years. Just as you began debating the pros and cons of laying her down on the table right there in the open, Shane tugged hard on your shoulder.

"What?" You grumbled, turning to him with a glare already in place.

He was red-faced, and frazzled, but had on a wide grin. "Get it, girl, but calm down. The mother of the bride looks like she's about to implode." He inclined his head towards the long table where all the important people sat. The mother of the bride did indeed look to be on the precipice of a furious blow-out.

"Okay," You swallowed, sense slowly coming back to you.

"Ugh, you're such a party pooper, Shane." Regina pulled away, leaving your palms achingly empty. She didn't go far though. She sat down on her chair before reaching into her white Valentino bag and pulling out some napkins. Then, she leaned in again.

Your eyes fluttered closed and lips puckered. Regina laughed.

"Silly, you have gloss all over your face."

"Oh," Your eyes opened. Gosh, that was embarrassing.

Regina wiped your mouth. Then, she pulled out a compact mirror and fixed her own lips. You watched her do all this. She and Shane started chatting. Apparently, they'd been in somewhat regular contact.

You'd just kissed Regina George. After, what, eight or nine years? In front of the whole goddamn venue. In front of Gretchen, in front of Gretchen's family, in front of basically your entire year from high school.

You got up. "Oh, where are you going?" Shane asked, all innocent. You hoped you didn't look as panicked as you felt. He didn't seem to think anything was wrong. You glanced at Regina.

Fuck. She totally knew. Obviously, she knew you. She could read you like a book.

"Smoke. Be back in a few." You fled.

"I'm coming too," Janis said.

Notes: Sorry for the long break everybody! I graduated and had a party for that! Went on a little trip to the countryside with friends! And now, at last, I'm back at my desk and ready to churn out some long overdue chapters.

Taglist posted separately! Comment on that post to get on it if you want!

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 3. Aka The Lore & Crusty Pork Party, Aka This Is Not A Post For People Who Like To Read Nice Things About Lorelai Gilmore

Can't believe how close I am to wrapping up the 2nd season, ya'll. And It only took me over a year to get here. Bout ready to tackle The Jess season. Yipes. Feel free to waste your life and catch up on the previous 40-some odd recaps here

They're confused about what just happened because foreplay from Crusty is a foreign concept to both of them.

This is usually the part on Forensic Files where we learn of the victim's last known whereabouts.

Well, his track record with you seems to be pretty good so far so he figures the odds are in his favor.

At least it's...indoors this time.

Ma'am, you really just engaged in sexual intercourse at your place of employment. I hope you didn't leave any fun surprises for your maids. Lorelai walks into the kitchen at this undefined time of the night to find Sookie in her wedding dress having a panic attack, attempting to sabotage her wedding cake. Lorelai at first appears supportive and calms Sookie down. She then proceeds to interject herself into this situation in such a mindbogglingly selfish and tone deaf way, one so unbelivable that it blew me away. The only other time I've had to rewind a scene to make sure I had heard something correctly because it was so unbelievable was the time Liz Danes said she drank while she was pregnant. Well here ya go.

And with that fucking GRIN on her face. I think Sookie meant "talk to me about how otters hold hands when they float", not how mere moments ago your ex baby daddy was sticking his Crusty wiener in you. Lorelai Gilmore, you are a terrible friend, you're selfish and thoughtless, you are a bad role model for your child, you're a terrible employer and employee and people only work for you because the tourism industry has the shaky economies of small towns in a stranglehold, you hold grudges against teenage boys while having affairs with other teenage boys, and you gleefully sleep with Crusties and brag about it. And you're just annoying. You are irredeemable. You have built up such a backlog of bad karma there is virtually nothing you could do it in the future to make your soul clean. Sookie pretends to care about whether or not the porking was any good and Lorelai says that it was so she's a liar as well. You can't judge the quality of a porking that only lasts about a minute and a half. Lorelai and Sookie proceed to discuss Lorelai and Lorelai only for the next several minutes and at no point does the subject of Sookie, Jackson, or her imminent wedding return to the conversation. Then Lore has to go. She has to return to her sullied motel room to bring Christopher the snacks he demanded she fetch him.

You... want to hear all the disgusting details of Lorelai and Christopher's hookup...during your wedding? Just before she departs to return to Crusty, Lorelai dips into her near empty barrell of non-selfish thoughts and scrapes it until she finds a "You look beautiful" and a hug for Sookie. L: You go get some sleep. S: And you go... get some!

I envisioned Lorelai taking Crusty's face and shoving it into that plate of food, or just fucking upending the plate, but her maids will have enough work cleaning up their crusty filth so we’ll spare them. I now have "Plate to the face gif" in my Google search history, but my search was sadly unsuccesful. I hope they both choke on a grape. Crusty: What is this? It's good. Lorelai: I don't know, but if Sookie asks who ate it, pin it on Michel. You...did...NOT!!!! Are we sure he didn’t pull a Milton from Office Space and set the Inn on fire in season 3?

Let me remind you that this current season of the Lore and Crusty Naked Wrestling Foundation (LCNWF) started at Rory’s doctor’s appointment and has been less than 24 hours long. L: I have to think about Rory. We can't go changing everything on her now. Glad you thought of the impact of your actions on your daughter for once (after you first expressed concern for the impact your tragic booty call would have on yourself, and then Sherry, THEN Rory). You think she's not used to this crap by now? High on Crusty-Hormones, these two psycopaths decide they're going to "Give things a try" and HEY LOOK EVERYONE! LOOK WHO IT IS!!!!! THE BABY! HI BABY!

He's a wizard.

He returned because he knew we missed ADMIRING THE BABY!!! ADMIRE THE BABY.

From the Conversations I Have Outloud With Myself Files: Me:Okay, he returned. How does he integrate back into society? Me: What are you talking about, Me, Stars Hollow is not society.

That looks like a plain gray tshirt to me (okay, when the camera gets a little closer look it does seem to have some kind of faded, barely perceptible design on it...but go off about the butt shirt, Lucas).

Okuh.

Wish I could travel back to 2016, when I was losing my Gilmore Girls virginity, still a naive little buttercup with no idea he was only going to stick around for one more season. This being on the cusp of season 3, it always hurts.

Luke, being the snitch that he is (remember how he told Jess where to find Rory in 6x8?) informs Jess of Rory's whereabouts at Sookie's wedding, but warns him not to intefere, because Rory and Dean are still together and they have such a good thing going on. How he knows the status of their relation-shit these days, I'm not really sure, since he's still freezing Lorelai out and finally enjoying some peace and quiet at work. He is no longer hearing every detail of her and Rory's lives on a daily basis, not getting paid, wishing he could just shove a bunch of donuts in her mouth and shut her up for one god damn minute. Of course, Rory and Dean prove to be more than capable of spending years fucking over their own relationship time and time again without Jess' interference.

Okay, just be back by suppertime, love you, mwah.

[hoodlander]

Finally finished Season 4.

My thoughts:

Karl Urban looking fine as fuck even though Butcher is supposed to be dying.

And Colby Minifie is looking hot as hell this season, not sure what it is.

Overall, a strong finale.

The writing for the entire season has been all over the place though. If there was ever an argument for going back to the 22 episode seasons - this is it.

So many heel-turns that happened too fast.

And I felt like half the season sacrificed good writing for stupid shock value gags. Shocking scenes should have a place in the narrative, but not just added to try and shock the audience for no reason.

I love Hughie. I really love him. He was going through it this season. I am disappointed in Kripke and the other writers for thinking the Tek Knight stuff was funny and not seeing it for what it was. That is was the same thing that Deep did to Annie in S1. I am disgusted when male SA is not taken seriously in media.

And then the triple whammy with the shifter. Hughie needs a damn break.

I think Erin Moriarty did an amazing job with shifter!Annie though. She was brilliant to watch.

Frenchie and Kimiko’s storylines this season made little sense to me and didn’t progress their characters. I’m glad the writer’s back tracked the ‘platonic soulmates’ thing and made Frenchie/Kimiko genuinely happen. If you want to do platonic that’s fine, but not after what they went through for 3 seasons and how they behaved with each other. Glad that was rectified.

I love MM. And A-Train’s redemption arc was the strongest arc of the season for me. It was the best written imo.

The Deep has wanted to be BFF’s with Homelander since S1. Loved seeing him doubling down on getting that friendship bracelet. RIP Ambrosius. She was the one Deep. She truly, truly loved you you stupid fuck.

I like Firecracker, she is interesting. Having her doing things for Homelander out of gratitude and respect instead of attraction was very refreshing. And I love how she and Deep are Homelander’s Ride or Dies. Whenever I see the three of them together all I see are Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, and Karen Smith.

New Noir is baby. Love him. As much as I miss Old Noir, this was a good way to progress the character and give Nathan Mitchell more to do. Loved his fight with the Boys as they reacted to him flying and talking.

Sage is fantastic. I love her. And her final scene with Homelander was brilliant. Like, yes girl come get your sad murder chihuahua he needs to go back in your purse.

And finally…

Grace really be making Homelander look like a #1 Dad.

Great idea, threatening arguably the second most powerful supe on the planet with imprisonment. I feel like she expected Ryan to be as easily radicalized as Billy. Then didn’t know how to handle his need for space. Like, kid just got a bomb dropped on him and needs to think. She couldn’t even give him that.

Whereas Homelander lets him go after their fights. He gives him space. And so far, he has shown Ryan genuine affection as much as he is capable of giving. If Ryan does go back to him in S5, which I think he will, Homelander will accept him back but then have to deal with some hard questions.

Ryan lashing out at Grace was expected honestly. She was going to gas him. He was already emotionally charged. He didn’t look happy or sad after her death. And if Billy only sees Ryan as Becca’s son if he kills Homelander then his love comes with conditions.

Grace and Butcher both fucked up.

Billy killing Victoria and putting his faith in the virus was short-sighted on his part. Vic could have helped them with the long game.

And ultimately the supe virus is a temporary genocide.

A virus only works when it has something to infect. If it kills every supe then Vought just needs to wait a few years to make sure the virus is gone and then start dosing more babies. And the cycle starts again. Vought could potentially find a vaccine for the virus as well.

The thing The Boys have to destroy is Compound V. And every Vought scientist that can recreate it by memory.

As long as Compound V exists there will always be Supes.

[yurrfttboyy]

This is Mike, my big brother, and our dad owns a construction company. He works long hours and is often away, so my brother and I spend most of our time alone in the house. My brother has always been the strong, masculine one and I’ve always been dwarfed by his shadow. When I was 16, I asked him how to to become big and strong like he is, and he told me his “secret”. He gave me a strange looking metal contraption and told me I have to lock it on my wiener for a few months and work out a lot, swearing in all seriousness that this was how he became strong. I believed him, and let him put it on, boy was I stupid or what? As days went on, I started to express concerns about this odd method, but my brother continued to reassure me to leave it on. He told me that in exchange for helping me, I’d be required to keep his bedroom clean from here on out and I would also be responsible for doing all of his laundry. After 3 months I finally asked him when I can take it off, telling him it had been 3 months (as I was clearly the only one counting) and that it didn’t work. He then explained to me, “if it didn’t work in 3 months then it isn’t going to”. I asked him if he could take it off then, since it wouldn’t work, and that’s when he decided I was old enough to have ‘the talk’.

“You see baby brother, you’re in a special predicament. You aren’t very strong, you’ve never had a girlfriend, and everyone at school says you’re gay. It looks to me like you aren’t going to really have much of a use for that thing between your legs, but let’s take a look at ways you have improved. Look at my bedroom, remember how it used to look?” He gestures for me to look around, and he was right, his bedroom was completely different now that I had taken over the cleaning. “And look at my closet, it used to be full of random dirty clothes, but now all my clothes are clean and smell fresh” he continued, giving me a playful head rub. “See, you may not have become big and strong like me, but you have grown.” He pointed out, and that made me start to think. I felt really good about the way his room looked and how happy he was to have fresh clean clothes. His talk was making me feel better for sure.

“But now that I’ve grown, can’t we take the cage off and let me continue to progress?” I asked, ready to beat off like every other teenage boy!!

“Did my room look like this when you were unlocked before? Did you feel the satisfaction that you do now?” He asked, and I had to slump my head in defeat, knowing the answer to both questions was ‘no’

“See, the cage is helping you to improve. I don’t think we should take it off, In fact I think we need to give you some more responsibility, to continue your growth and make you even better” he encouraged, making me truly believe he had my best interest at heart. I nodded my head and agreed. “So you want more responsibility? If so kneel down on the ground in front of me and say ‘yes, sir, what else may I do for you’, and say it with sincerity.” He coached and I followed along, kneeling down and asking him the absurd question.

“Good boy.” My whole head went numb and a tingle shot down my back, I couldn’t believe the way those words made me feel. “Now, your big brother works hard on these feet every single day. In addition to doing my laundry and all of the cleaning, I am also going to need you to start spending at least 1 hour each day massaging and worshipping my feet. We will start out with massages, but eventually we will progress into oral massages and toe sucking. Don’t worry, I won’t rush you into it, we’re going to start with a nice rub. That’s it, and make sure you are getting close and smelling them too, it’s a crucial component to your training that you memorize the smell and always welcome it into your nose. I know they stink, but I promise you’ll like it if you just keep smelling and keep focusing on being a better person for your big brother.”

How lucky I am to have a big brother who really takes the time to teach me life lessons and always wants the best for me!

[pvtjxker]

A proper lady.

Donny Donowitz x OC

Written with the help of @saltynametag !

Warnings: none! Just a bit of tention :) (and a fascist perv)

English is not my first language (I'm from pizza country) so have pity of me q-q

Gif by me! <3

Mariangela was in disbelief.

They made her come down all the way for her dear Apennines and abandon her beloved brigade, put her on a train full of fascists for two full days and made her walk for four more, only for her to end up in Bumfuck Nowhere, France. And for what?

To join a platoon of disorganized degenerates, infiltrating swanky Nazi parties for intel?

Not exactly what she pictured when she got the letter from the US army... “fight the Nazi forces”, yeah right.

At least they didn’t touch her explosives, still safely tucked away in her suitcase. She looked at her reflection in the mirror; an expensive dress, silk maybe? Fuck if she knew, it was a gift, courtesy of the American government. She touched the delicate necklace hanging from her strong peasant neck, grimacing at the scars on her hands and face. She struggled with the eyebrow pencil, carefully drawing where her brows had been singed.

Everyone would know; these fancy things didn’t belong to her.

A knock on the door startled her,

“Y’done in ‘ere, miss?”, Aldo was growing impatient.

Mariangela tried fixing the smudge on her forehead, “Not yet.”

“Women...”

She recognized the other voice, shouting back, “Shut the fuck up, Omar!”

“I’m-a sorry, bella principessa, take-a all-a da time-a you need-a!”

In the few days they’d worked together, he’d latched onto her accent as a source of mockery. She sighed, smoothing out the burned ends of her hair and grabbed her purse, making sure her little Lugher was wedged between her compact and forged papers.

As she stepped out, Aldo let out a low whistle,

“Boys”, he gestured dramatically, “our lovely Miss Rah-vee-nah.”

The Basterds chuckled. She wasn’t so easily flattered,

“I look like shit.”

“Language, missy”, Aldo scolded, “S’a fancy party full-a fancy wiener eatin’ schnitzels and yer a proper lil’ lady, understand?”

She. would. rather. Die.

She opened her mouth to tell Aldo to fuck off, like the proper lady she was, when her eyes fell on Donny...

Oh Donny...

Her forbidden fruit...

As if he wasn’t handsome enough in army green or that goddawful wife beater...

But, God... did he look good in a suit.

Aldo’s gruff voice snapped her out of her daydream,

“Ev’ryone good on the plan?”

Donny nodded, a curl coming loose from his slicked back hair, “Me, you ‘n’ Omar work for Mari. Hugo ‘n’ Wicki are Gesta-fucks and Smitty stays back with the rest, case shit hits the fan.”

Mari nodded, distracted by that damn curl on his forehead when he offered her his arm,

“M’lady”, he said playfully.

She giggled like an idiot, “M’lord...”

“Questi crucchi non hanno proprio gusto...”

These Krauts have no taste at all...

Mariangela muttered under her breath as she took a sip of what the waiter called “champagne”... piss water, more like.

Her arm was still looped with Donny’s, trying to keep her cool and pass him off as her date. Looped was perhaps a generous way of describing it; her nails were dug into the fabric of his suit, making him wince,

“Watch it, my arm’s still attached, y’know...”

She jumped and smoothed his sleeve out, “Sorry... I’m nervous.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell”, he joked.

His playful demeanour put her at ease, and she even managed to crack a small smile, despite her dress nearly choking the life out of her. Who was in charge of tailoring, anyway? Had they ever met a woman? She took another sip of piss water and caught a glimpse of Hugo, who wasn’t any better off than she was. He looked like he was seconds away from ripping the clothes off his back and fighting everyone in his birthday suit. And honestly? She wouldn’t blame him. Flitting through the crowd of fascist, covering for Omar and Aldo’s terrible excuse for Italian accents, smiling...

She was going insane.

At the very least, it was all going smoothly.

“Mi dicono che lei è italiana, sì?”

They told me you were Italian, right?

A man, in a carefully pressed fascist uniform with hair as shiny as his boots, caught Mariangela’s arm.

Shit.

He smiled and it made her skin crawl. Be polite. Be polite.

“Certamente! Pensavamo di essere i soli...”

Certainly! We thought we were the only ones!

The man wrapped his nicotine-stained fingers around her wrist, bringing her hand up to his chapped lips. Donny stiffened beside her, squaring his shoulders. The man introduced himself,

“Galeazzo Marchi”, he paused to kiss her hand again, “piacere di conosorela.”

Galeazzo Marchi. Pleasure to meet you.

Aldo and Omar shifted uncomfortably behind them, as Galeazzo rubbed his thumb over Mari’s knuckles. She sent a panicked look Donny’s way; his nostrils were flared, his muscles tense, eyes wide and angry... if looks could kill...

“E il signore...”, he gestured to Donny dismissively, “chi dovrebbe essere?”

And this man... who is he meant to be?

She blinked.

Fuck.

Donny looked pissed. Omar was sweating bullets and she could feel Aldo’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, she could practically hear what he was thinking, “fuck’s going on over there?!”

They were meant to be tourists. Just rich tourists, they hadn’t worked out any other details... she blurted out the first thing that came to mind,

“Il mio fidanzato.”

He’s my fiancé.

“Oh, capisco…”

Oh, I understand…

He answered.

He smiled with the smile of someone who doesn’t actually care. He wasn’t going to give up.

“Posso offrirle da bere?”

Can I offer you a drink?

He said, taking a glass of piss water from the silver tray of a fancy dressed waiter and handed it to her.

She was about to take it, more than anything out of pity towards the man, but Donny was faster, and handed her his own glass, still full.

“Com’é gentile, da parte sua…”

How kind of him…

Galeazzo looked bitter.

Donny smiled at his reaction.

Mari took the glass and took a sip, trying to release the tention.

She took a glance of Donny, who was staring down at the man with a glare of challenge. Like if he was daring him to do something she still was unaware of.

“Quindi…fidanzati, giusto?”

So…engaged, right?

“Sí! Da quasi due anni, ormai.”

Yeah! For almost two years now.

The man smirked. She didn’t like it.

“E…vi amate molto?”

And…do you love each other?

Mariangela was about to burst, but decided to stay silent for the sake of the mission.

“Sa, stavo pensando che una coppia bella come la vostra sarebbe un vero piacere da ammirare…”

“You know, I was thinking that a beautiful couple like yours would be a real pleasure to admire...”

That was the last straw.

Mari replied, contemptuous, with a raging blush on her cheeks for the embarassment.

“Non ho idea di quello che lei sta cercando di fare, camerata, ma la risposta é e sarà no!”

I have no idea what you are trying to do, camerata, but the answer is and will be no!

The man smiled, as his hand grapped her wrist.

Tightly.

“Non sono il tipo di uomo a cui si dice no.“

I’m not the type of man you say no to.

A weak metallic sound.

The loading of a gun.

She looked down and saw a tiny Walther P38 in Donny’s hand, pointing straight at the man’s belly.

Mari looked back at the man, reacting with a smil at the look of terror Galeazzo had on his face.

“Un po’…territoriale, il suo uomo.”

Your man is a bit…territorial.

“Non é il tipo di uomo a cui si dice no.”

He’s not the type of man you say no to.

Galeazzo turned pale white.

Donny pointed at the restroom’s door with the gun with a friendly smile, grabbing the man’s shoulder tightly and dragging him in.

As soon as he walked in, she walked towards Aldo and Omar.

“What’s goin’ on, why did he go there?-”

“Don’t, Aldo, it's too long to explain.”

A few moments later, Donny walked out, looking unbothered.

“What happened? What did you do to him?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, doll.” He replied, adjusting his suit.

Doll.

He called her "doll".

Well, there’s always a first time, I guess.

She wrapped her arm around his, as soon as he offered it to her to take, her cheeks burning.

“What matters now is that he’s not gonna be a bother anymore. Anyway, are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

She took a glance at her wrist, but not even a tiny scratch was there.

“No, don’t worry.”

“I do worry, actually. I’m glad you’re not hurt. I would have killed him…”

Aldo walked towards them, hissing to their ears. “Can you try not to get in a mess for five seconds? I swear if-”

A deep voice interrupted him from behind him.

“We got what we needed. Let’s get outta here.”

It was Wicky, followed by a pissed off Hugo.

“Wenn ich in fünf Sekunden nicht aus hier komme, drohe ich ein Massaker zu begehen.”

If I don't get out of here within five seconds I risk committing a massacre.

Hugo complained, quickly interrupted by Wilhelm, who stepped on his foot.

“Halt die Fresse! Wenn sie uns jetzt finden, geht alles schief!”

Shut up, goddamnit! If they find us now everything will be ruined.

Hugo flinched, but went quiet.

“Well then, I guess we don't have much time before that creep wakes up and comes out of the bathroom looking for me and Donny. We gotta move.”

They all started to walk towards the exit.

“What did that guy ask you for reacting like that?”

Omar asked. Donny shrugged. “I dunno, they spoke italian the whole time. What did he tell you?”

Donny asked to Mari. She stiffened, slightly tightening the grip on his arm for the embarassment, her cheeks turning red again.

“Nothing, keep walking.”

It didn't take them long to return to their base, an abandoned shack in the middle of the countryside in northern France. She sat on a chair, in a room upstairs. The perk of being the only one allowed to have a private room, for…well, obvious reasons. She took off her dress, finally being able to breath. The tossed the dress on the bed and put her usual clothes, finally being more comfortable. As she was taking her make-up off, she heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

Donny walked in.

“Y’alright?”

She straightened her back on her seat, coughing softly in nervousness, her cheeks slightly red.

“Could be worst.”

He walked behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. She stiffened.

“I just wanted to say you looked good tonight. I've never seen you dressed so fancy. Or with any make up on.”

He looked nervous.

“Thanks, Donny, I…I appreciate.”

“Like…very good.”

She looked at him through the mirror, with a questioning face.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you were very beautiful.”

Donny suddenly looked very nervous.

“Not that you're usually ugly, of course.”

He was…complimenting her. He was complimenting her. She tried to smile, her cheeks red. She looked at one of his hands and hesitantly rested hers on it.

“Thank you, Donny.”

“Anytime.”

He looked at her one last time, before taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

“Goodnight, Mari.”

“Goodnight, Donny.” She answered, with a faint voice.

He then got out of the room, gently closing the door behind him.

She looked at her hand and kissed it where Donny kissed it too.

“Ti amo.”

_________________

Divider by @saradika !

[ladytemeraire]

Whew. Today is one of those days that definitely demonstrates that progress is nonlinear and unpredictable.

My lunch walk with Sadie went extremely well - we did about 2 miles in 40 minutes, and we were able to walk past another dog across the road! I know this sounds like a "basic" thing but for her, it's a huge deal. She was definitely poofed up and laser focused on the tiny wiener dog, but she didn't growl or bark once, and we did a bunch of rapid-fire 1-2-3 and she disengaged on EVERY 3 and went to "find it" when I tossed the treat into the grass. Big progress and lots of celebrating and happy times!

After work? It was like every single one of her triggers packed into a single walk.

At the very far end of our street, we got surprised by a very large husky coming out of its house on a long lead much closer than I would have liked (across the street and half a block down from us). Initially Sadie was alert but relatively fine, even disengaging; she showed curiosity so I was willing to get a little closer, but shortly after we did she had a BIG reaction. I had to physically drag her back down the street to increase the distance. We did more engage/disengage and 1-2-3 to make the experience more positive before we kept heading away from the dog and back towards our house.

On the other main street, we had a motorcycle come RIPPING by us. There's only a foot of boulevard there and the houses are right by the sidewalk, so basically all I could do was hold onto her handle-collar and harness and reinforce afterwards.

Finally got home and went to throw the poop bag away aaaaaaand Nemesis Dog who lives next door came running on its tether right up to the fence between our properties. Ironically this was the best interaction we've had with this dog - by which I mean Sadie did lunge to the end of her leash by the trash can, but was actually able to disengage and come back down the driveway with me rather than me having to fully drag her away. Small victories I guess?

With all of these, I made sure to give her cheese stick (high value treat) even when she reacted and to speak in a "happy" voice so I wasn't yelling at her. Even when I had to drag her away with the husky, I was firm but not yelling ("this way, come on, we're going this way, leave it"). And after every incident, I made sure to do some "find it" with both high value and regular treats to have her decompress and have a positive experience rather than ending the walk right then and there.

So... yeah. Trying to use the tools in my toolbox and remind myself that I can't predict everything and sometimes all I can do is management rather than preparation and diversion. I'm doing the best I can, and even with her big reactions, she calmed down SO fast compared to where she was a year or two ago.

(Also we got home and she was like "no I'm too tired for dinner" and promptly conked out for two hours on the couch. Literally didn't eat her dinner until like 8:30 pm. Sweet baby.)

[keefwho]

May 23 - 2024 Thursday

11:30pm

5.5/10

Days for awhile now just keep being 'meh'. Even good days are kinda ruined by how meh I feel and how much I'm thinking about things. Thats why I need a break from the thinking.

This morning I made my mirror and sink spotless. I took great care and attention in making sure I wiped down every centimeter of the thing. I also cleaned out and reorganized the cleaning supply cabinet and had to take my trash out. For breakfast I made a jimmy dean sandwich and some cheetos. Also snuck a cookie with my coffee. I didn't feel like streaming at all this morning, I wasn't in a very good mood. But I tried anyways.

On stream I tried warming up with cats but switched to ponies. Then I worked on SZ's commission for about 90 minutes. No one showed up but 57 today and there was little talking. We couldn't watch shows because my internet wouldn't allow it. I ended early so I could go to the store for drinks. On the way there mom told me about the funeral plan for my nephew, I'm going to have to watch the house until next Wednesday. At the store I asked the nice lady if she had a favorite show lately. She said she watches a lot of anime and has been watching this show called Carnival Row I haven't heard of. I told her I've been watching Black Mirror. I kinda crumbled and became too robotic. I wish I had asked what kinds of animes and I wish I told her I've been watching cartoons like She Ra and Moral Orel. Regret is my strongest teacher right now so I'll do better next time.

When I got home I worked the remaining 30 minutes on SZ's commission and finished it. They really liked it and so did the others in their group. Then I watched more of this Star Wars hotel video DS sent me until I decided to roast hotdogs for lunch finally. I split one of the last logs for wood, got my firepit set up, and found a good stick to carve down. I had to thaw the bun and wieners in the microwave and then I toasted it all over the fire. The stick sucked, I had to redo the end multiple times because it kept burning. I didn't cook the hotdogs long enough to get warm inside so I microwaved them to finish. I ate them by the fire with ketchup and that was nice.

When I came in, I did a really weird request and worked on another Tumblr idea afterwards. I worked on this sketch for an hour but still don't think it's quite right so I'm going to redo it for the 3rd time next week. I'm not doing a good job of pumping out 1 idea per week, this drawing is currently going to take 3 weeks. I almost napped on my desk towards the end and did no VRchat world work today.

To chill for the evening I mostly watched some stuff like that star wars video. I tried booting up Minecraft to work on my snowman town more and joined AE and friends in the server VC. I didn't say anything the whole time, I just listened to them play Monster Hunter. When DS was free I left to call her and kept playing. We chilled to some music and then I put on that very long star wars video for both of us. When she went upstairs, I joined BR and seemingly the rest of the entire server in their VC to say hi. They were watching a really funny reaction video.

In bed DS and I did our puzzles and the connections was really stupid today. It was very late for both of us but I stayed up to enjoy the time with her. Its why I'm up late right now. I dont regret staying up but I do regret being in my thoughts too much tonight, especially with no intent of speaking up about it. I would have preferred letting it go for now so I could be an engaged, enjoyable person.

Like I said, this morning kinda sucked. Again I woke up and realized I don't like where things are and it started getting to me. At some point I journaled about a lot and got some other thoughts out. I think I'm getting closer to figuring out how to focus on what I think is important in a very simple way. First of all I knew not to act on how I was feeling because I wasn't in my rightest mind. I think whenever I act like that, I'll tend to be making decisions that work against me or from a place of selfishness. I also knew that to undermine my negative/unhelpful behavior, I can focus on doing my best no matter what I'm doing. Thats how I become proud of myself. It helps focus on whats really important like whats right in front of me. This is especially true of my relationships. Since they involve someone else, normally someone very important to me, I want to do them justice. It helps me become my best me.

[art-of-manliness]

Odds & Ends: April 5, 2024

Killers of the Flower Moon. I was really excited to watch Martin Scorsese’s epic film, Killers of the Flower Moon. Based on the bestselling book that recounts the murders of members of the Osage Nation here in northeast Oklahoma in the 1920s, the movie didn’t disappoint. Like all of Scorsese’s historical films, he does a great job of getting the details right. You feel like you’ve been transported to 1920s Oklahoma. The acting is top-notch. Robert De Niro plays a great bad guy, Leonardo DiCaprio plays the part of a feckless wiener whose lack of moral compass leads him to tragedy, and Lily Gladstone captures the heartache of an Osage woman watching her family die around her. It was cool to see parts of OK that we’ve explored appear in a movie. Osage country is absolutely beautiful. Love those big skies and green hills. This movie is long — 3 and 1/2 hours — but worth it! Ace sunglasses. A few years ago, MVMT watches sponsored the AoM podcast and sent me a watch to try. They also included a pair of their Ace sunglasses. They look like the aviator shades Paul Newman wore in the 1970s. They’re funky and not something I would have picked out on my own. But they’ve become the shades I wear when I’m driving our family’s 1996 Buick Roadmaster station wagon. Feels like appropriate eyewear for that whip. And because I take the station wagon to the flag football games I coach, you’ll typically find me wearing my Ace sunglasses along with my Walter Matthau Bad News Bears big collar polyester coach shirt on the sidelines. It’s such a solid fit. (Note: MVMNT did not sponsor this shoutout. I haven’t worked with them in a long time. Indeed, no individual or company has ever sponsored a shoutout in O&E; all recommendations are our own.) No Biological Free Lunches by Tim Ferriss. Tim Ferriss took a break from writing on his blog to focus on his podcast, so it was great to see him come back to articles with a piece on the overlooked costs of taking TRT or performance-enhancing drugs. Yes, exogenous hormones can have a place in improving overall health, but like any drug, there are downsides. TRT and growth hormones can help your muscles grow, but they can also make your liver and spleen grow and that can have bad consequences for your health. It can even make your head permanently bigger. Like most things in life, there are tradeoffs you need to consider before deciding to take exogenous hormones. Don’t be cavalier with this decision. Someday Is Today: 22 Simple, Actionable Ways to Propel Your Creative Life by Matthew Dicks. I read this book a couple of years ago in preparation for talking to its author, Matthew Dicks, on the podcast. I still think about the insights I gleaned from it. Matthew has worn a lot of hats at the same time: husband, dad, public school teacher, writer, storyteller, and corporate consultant. In Someday Is Today, he offers field-tested tactics to get more done even if you’re a regular busy guy. A few of my favorites: think in minutes and practice deliberate incuriosity. Be sure to listen to my conversation with Matthew. It’s one of my favorites. Quote of the Week He who saith there is no such thing as an honest man, you may be sure is himself a knave. —George Berkeley Help support independent publishing. Make a donation to The Art of Manliness! Thanks for the support! http://dlvr.it/T572vt

[pick-em-pool]

WEEK 9

LISA - 13 POINTS

Lisa's team analytical ability is that of an MIT professor. Her bench press is also probably the same as one 💪

PEYTON - 11 POINTS

The lengths this man with go to win both the pick-em pool and a household bread maker 😤😤😤

ABBY - 11 POINTS

Yeah yeah she did great with 11 points but if I see another inflatable wiener balloon on her snapchat story I think I will blush to death 😨

JJ - 11 POINTS

He's dropping dad jokes in the magnificent seven and dropping 11 points on yo head boi 🎤

RUSTY - 11 POINTS

My homie is moving up on 7th place now 👀👀👀 a real tortise-and-the-hare story we have on our hands 🐢🐢🐢

GABBY - 11 POINTS

I would write more about Gabby's performance but she got into one of her cleaning moods and all of the sudden I've been scrubbing crown molding for 3 hours SOS 🧽🧹🧼

VAL - 9 POINTS

Yee Haw Val got her country on with the ATV's off-roadin'. I noticed that just like with automobiles she was a passenger princess the whole time 👸 Pretty sure Val would be a passenger on a Razor Scooter if she could 🛴

JANIE - 9 POINTS

Maybe the laid back Cali lifestyle is just what Janie needs to help with the high blood pressure I'm certain she has developed being in 7th place 🏥👨‍⚕️👩‍⚕️

JULIETTE - 6 POINTS

I thought Duquesne was pronounced "Dew-Kwez-Knee". Turns out it's "Dook-Ane". Well that's fitting becasue JuJu took a big "Dook-Ane" with her picks this week 😬

AWESOME JOB EVERYONE 🥂🥂🥂 I KNOW Y'ALL WANT THAT MONEY! Maybe Pey Pey can use it to buy his bread maker??? SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

[smusherina]

bridges burnt - chapter 5 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.

additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)

warning(s): weed mischief

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4

You were sitting at your table, chatting amicably with everyone, when Gretchen finally graced you with her presence. She was glowing, that much you could admit.

"Hey, guys!" She gave an energetic greeting. You smiled and waved.

"Oh em gee, Gretch!" Regina said as she stood up. She was considerably taller than the bride, with killer heels that gave some significant inches. They did air kisses on each cheek and cooed and squealed for a little.

"It's been so long! You're so rarely in town I wasn't sure you'd come!" Gretchen enthused. Her husband stood on the sidelines, looking quite put out but trying to hide it.

"Oh, you know I always make time for you," A blatant lie but you weren't going to say anything about it. "I'm so happy you've found love!"

"Me too," Gretchen gushed, snaring her boo-thang by the arm. He'd zoned out so startled a little but recovered quick with a dashing smile.

"Hi, I'm Michael." Of course, his name was Michael. What was next? Chad? Tucker?

"Regina. Regina George." Regina said, then turned to you. "And this is my partner."

You stood up and shook his hand, then said your name. "Nice to meet you. Congrats."

Michael nodded, smiling uncomfortably. He'd seemed sociable and open with the other guests so you didn't get why he was being all shy now.

"Thanks!" Gretchen chirped. Her eyes flitted between you and Regina. "Sorry if this is abrupt, but you two are still together?"

"We did go on a break right before college." Regina chose her words deliberately. "But after that, we just couldn't resist. True love just pulls you in, doesn't it?" She put her arm around your waist and pulled you to her. You stumbled a little, falling into her. Your arms came around her neck.

Gretchen looked quite unsettled by the close embrace. "It totally does." She said, tone falling flat.

"Mmh. Well, what plans have you got? Honeymoon?"

"Michael's been planning it for us," Gretchen said. That surprised you considering she was such a control freak. Perhaps you were wrong.

"There's no keeping secrets from her," Michael laughed. "Surprising her is too damn hard." His Southern twang was prominent. Something was charming about him, you supposed.

"I just want it to be right, Mike!" Gretchen teased, lightly hitting him on the shoulder. "I've been better haven't I? I let Deborah do the flower arrangements."

"Yes, dear," Michael said, looking down at Gretchen with real, genuine love in his eyes.

Seeing them interact, so sweet on one another, made you sad. First of all, because you were so similar. You were on the same level, people just the same as them. Looking at them like this, in just the context of the moment currently playing out, you didn't want to ruin their wedding.

But you had history. Gretchen had outed you to the school in junior year of high school. It'd had devastating effects on your life as a whole. Your father went from cold neglect to open disdain, you lost the jobs you were doing around the neighbourhood, your peers ostracised you. Those close to you, Regina mostly, got targeted rumours spread around and more negative attention than ever.

Gretchen was not the sole reason for your and Regina's break up but definitely one of them. You had settled to forgive and forget when you came back to town, to stay away and not say anything in a silent, mutual agreement. You buried the hatchet and thought she had, too.

You should've known better. Watching her make googly eyes at her husband as if the things she did had no bearing, no weight, infuriated you. She had ruined your life. Things had progressed since you were in high school and outing didn't have quite the same fallout, but what she did to Kylie was still unforgivable. There hadn't been that much progress. Gay marriage was still illegal in some states.

"Man, Gretchen, seeing you like this brings me back." You said, eyeing her. "Those sure were the days," You sighed and played wistful.

The bride and groom shared glances. Regina picked up what you were putting down and got involved.

"You'll be seeing just how much of a wildcat she is, Michael," Regina said, laying it on thick. "You have my number, Gretch, just give me a call if you wanna relive old times on your wedding night." She finished off with a saucy wink. You almost couldn't hold in your laughter.

"Toodles," Regina wiggled her fingers and took you by the arm, leading you away.

Once you were a safe distance away, you asked: "Wonder if they'll talk about that in private?"

"About Gretchen being involved, allegedly, in a lesbian threesome sandwich? I'd bet on it." Regina grinned.

You steered towards the exit to the parking lot where your car was. You had the kazoos and water pistols in the trunk. Maybe you spent a good fifteen minutes pinning Regina to the side of your flashy vintage—Betty the Catalina, you introduced—sucking the soul out of her through her mouth. Making out. Whatever, that was neither here nor there.

While Regina set out to find a gullible mother to deceive into giving out kazoos and water pistols, you called a guy. Rick was his name and he owed you a favour. He happened to be the owner of several karaoke bars. He'd hook you up.

"Yeah, anything will do, just needs to connect to the loudspeakers—uhh, pretty new I'd say, nothing too fancy but they didn't skimp out, that's for sure—yeah, yeah, I'll give you the address. Can he get here in an hour? Maybe less? I can pay his speeding tickets, no worries."

After making sure a karaoke machine would be delivered to the reception, you strutted back towards the building. On the way, you spotted three youths huddled in a non-descript spot by some shed. They were only visible from the parking lot. You knew what they were up to.

"Hey, kids," You sidled up to them, prompting the tallest of them to fumble with the joint he was trying to light. He had acne all over and residues of black eyeliner on his eyes. He had a strip of hair dyed stripey like a racoon tail. It was pretty cool, to be honest.

"H- hey," He stuttered, voice cracking as he swiped some hair from his eyes. Oh, to be young.

"You got weed?" You decided to be blunt. (Ha, blunt.) The two others were shaking like leaves in their tuxedos.

"No. I don't, like, even know what that is," The ring-leader crossed his arms defensively and leaned casually against the wall of the shed. Or, well, he was going for casual but looked extremely spooked.

"Well, that's a damn shame 'cause I was just looking to buy some." You said and reached into your breast pocket to pull out your wallet. You opened it and pulled out a couple of fifties. "I got all this cash to burn. But, hey, if you don't got any..."

"You'd pay that much for weed?" The boy eyed the bills hungrily.

"I'll be straight with you, kid-"

"I'm not a kid. I'm seventeen." He grumped. "Flint. Or Finnigan, I guess."

"Alright, Flint, I'm gonna put this bluntly. Your family sorta sucks." You looked at the other two. They were probably all cousins. Wouldn't tattle if Flint, the Cool One, told them not to. They didn't seem that much younger. As a responsible adult, you should've probably said something along the lines of 'don't smoke it's bad for you' but you were just glad they weren't shooting up or anything.

"Understatement of the century," He scoffed.

"Which side are you from, by the way?"

"The groom's." They all said in unison. That explained why you'd never seen most of these folk.

"I don't know much about him to be fair, but if he's shacking up with Gretchen I'm pretty sure they're equally sucky. Anyway, I'm trying to get everybody as fucked up as possible." You clarified, skirting around exactly what you were trying to do which was to ruin the wedding. Maybe these kids had better morals than you. "The bride sorta caused a rift between my girlfriend and I years back, outed me to the whole school, it was a scandal, we broke up and I spiralled. It was bad and I want revenge."

"She outed you? Like..." Flint looked around, looking scared someone was gonna hear. Nobody else was around. "Like you're gay?"

"I'm here with my girlfriend today." You said, smiling dopeyly. Your cheeks hurt. "I think we're back together. It's complicated. So, you wanna sell?"

"Hell yeah," He grinned, teeth crooked to the ninth degree. "Can we get in on it? Michael totally sucks, he orders us around like we're his minions or something."

The other two nodded along empathetically. They all had the same boxy, swoopy haircut that kept falling into their eyes. What luck that ran into the angsty teens of the clan.

"I don't know how much you'll be able to do without getting in trouble with your parents. Gotta be at least a little subtle."

Flint dug into his backpack and pulled out a plastic tupperware. There were some decent-looking nugs in there from what you could see through the frosted plastic. You handed over the cash.

"Pleasure doing business with you." You contemplated for a moment. "Any chance you could pull the fire alarm for the cake-cutting?"

The three matching evil grins were enough of an answer for you. Their little emo faces made your chest feel warm. You wanted to take them under your wing, or something.

"By the way, weed is fine. It's not great, I don't recommend it, but if you're gonna do drugs then this is best case scenario." You shook the plastic case in your hand. "Never do hard drugs. It's gonna make your hair fall out and teeth hurt like a bitch."

You left the three teenagers to smoke their blunt, knowing that your little shpiel probably went through one ear and out the other. You hoped they pulled through but if they didn't, you were planning on doing enough wicked shit that the sprinklers triggering would just be a cherry on top.

You found Janis smoking a cigarette at the same spot you'd been at earlier.

"You got a grinder?"

You opened the lid of the box, blasting the air with the potent smell of cannabis.

"Where the fuck did you get all that?" She asked as she reached into her purse.

"Not important. What is, though, is how we'll get the guests high."

Janis, the bright mind that she was, immediately got to work. You didn't even bother asking what she was up to when she crouched on the floor and began grinding away. She had fast hands, you observed, with how quick and clean she was rolling several blunts. Now that you saw clearly into the tupperware, lord almighty Flint had a lot of kush.

"What's the plan?" You asked after a moment, holding the box in one hand and blunts in the other. You stubbornly ignored the compulsion to stick one between your lips and light up. That was over for you.

"Find a Helen, a Beatrice, and or a Leigh-Anne, and convince them this is a miracle herb harvested from the government-protected, top-secret alpine springs of Florida, known for reversing wrinkles, repairing hymens, and with long-term use reducing hair growth neck down. It might even accelerate or delay menopause, depending on whose asking."

"Florida is the flattest state in the continental USA." You pointed out.

"Exactly." Janis didn't spare you a glance, just kept on rolling.

"So we're spinning a multilevel-marketing scheme on these people."

"Not really." Janis paused and turned to you. "We're just scamming them. Not even with money, with the devil's lettuce."

"That's arguably worse. I think this might be a felony."

"Oh, it definitely is."

Notes: The ball is rolling! At last! It only took five chapters good golly god.

Taglist posted seperately! If you want on it, comment so on that post!

[goobiegoobert]

hey hey hey sunshine!! could i request general hcs or whatever you feel more comfortable doing for either glamrock freddy, sun/moon or monty? any of them is fine! i hope you gave a great day today, stay safe and warm and drink plenty of water<33 ^^

General Headcanons - GN Reader

-----------

A/N :

On my hands and knees rn, you're always free to request lovely!! I hope your day has been just as good tysm <3 Not sure if you meant relationship hc's or not so tell me if you wanted something different!

Not my best work but I think it's a good silly goofy start

-----------

Glamrock Freddy

- With the stylizing of the Pizzaplex don't doubt for a second that they'd use popular references according to the current theme, the second Freddy starts to malfunction their mechanic has set it so that he emits a pretty loud windows XP error noise.

- totally a running gag between the mechanics cannot tell me otherwise.

- with the extra alone time during the nightshift if nothing going on Freddy is often found picking up and doing their best to 'fix' little things here and there

- not very good but it's the little things that count!

- is the internal ticking clock for each person around despite the others already knowing what to do

- Just the dad instinct to make sure everyone's prepared for anything really,

- Truly it carries over to whenever they are around people such as you, if your schedule was shit you better buckle up because he won't let this go

- every single moment they're ticking off a checklist of care that he has a basic understanding of for you

- would totally stop if you ask, but let the guy do his job he's trying his best here :(

- can and will to sneak you into his friend's attractions if you don't have the required permissions

- need a moment to kick some snot-nosed brat's ass on Roxy Raceway?

- Best believe you're getting in that damn kart.

- the most empathetic one here and will respect your boundaries and is the type to wait around the outside of the restrooms just so you don't feel like your missing out on much!

- sadly feel out of everyone else he gives the most vibes of being the closest to a hetero you can get in the animatronics

Monty Gator

- Kindly go to therapy, I want the best for you please we all do.

- jokes aside, Monty is the key to boosting your ego whether you need one or not.

- nine times out of ten if you did something remotely cool he's the type to go off about it for weeks to the point even you get sick of it

- Monty reminds me too much of that guy from 10 things I hate about you

- He's started the time you two spent together as a one-off thing, thinking you won't be here forever and thinking it's just a fleeting moment

- Each time you kept coming back he just regretfully continued to play up his stage persona pushing you away.

- eventually you'd simply grown on Monty like algae, good luck getting out of this now

- out of all the animatronics he's honestly so queer coded

Sundrop

- Perfect beautiful, you're right. This is it this is the best one.

- If you don't think so then you're wrong Sunny is the epitome of boyfriend material

- Hell, even just best friend material???

- Somewhat gives me a Gretchen Wieners vibe?? but in the nicest way possible.

- I think he cries during every Disney movie at least once, it's like a quota to fill on his end with the kids during the daycares movie time

- Still is super caring, just man.

- You're sick?

- Sunny is picking you up and hunkering you over to the security office desk to simply look for something to help at least a little

- Has the best forms of coping tbh, like fingerpainting to let out your feelings? Yes, please.

- Covering life in glitter glue just to make it sparkle a little?

- Simply the therapist out of them all, it might not seem like it but is like the most trustworthy one here

- Would trust my drink to him and you should too.

Moondrop

- Not the best but if you know, you know.

- absolutely just a guy hanging out truly here to just do their job and is so tired of everyone's shit at this point

- the guy just wants you to go to sleep make his job a little easier man

- Spiked the refreshments at a workplace function purely for the hell of it

- Do not trust this man with your shit ever all of it will end up scattered in some horrid form of a scavenger hunt

- Moon's the type where you got to let him do his own thing and do as he asks and slowly they'd warm up to you!

- Doesn't do much physical affection if at all, but it's not that he hates it. It's more of the fact they've never had the gentle hand of an adult before

- in other terms of what they'd use as affection it's more to be assumed that they'd have the instincts of a crow and bring you random trinkets and bugs that makes them think of you

- Absolute bastard, I would not recommend you to in any form romanticize this man but between you and whatever higher power is out there. We all absolutely fell for this freakazoid

- everyone has and you are no summer child

- Drinks coffee black as their soul

[engagementscenario]

ALfixes Replacement Project - Extracted Fixes and more!

Tired of the many conflicts with ALfixes? Can't put up with Pescado hiding features in his mods? Then this might be of your interest.

ALfixes is something that has bothered me for a while, ever since I found out that it deletes date cards. No wonder I've barely seen them in game!

With Charity's incredibly helpful documentation on the topic, we now have a compiled list of mods to fully replace the few documented features that weren't already fixed by EAxis in Mansions & Gardens/later patches/Ultimate Collection. What you'll need to download is...

(List under the cut. Also stick around for my own extracted features, which I haven't found corresponding mods for.)

Tunaisafish's Enthusiasm Overhaul (which among many other things, also stops the hobby enthusiasm from decaying when playing in other households);

Simler90's Matchmaker Fix (she will behave properly when showing up at community lots);

AncientHighway's Love Potion Restock Fix (the game does not incorrectly restock it as a nice potion);

Gummilutt's M&G Physiology Fix (no longer maxes out the Body skill when working out after learning the skill);

BoilingOil's Skill While Tinkering (NOT included in alfixes, but mentioned/linked in Charity's thread);

Tunaisafish's Get Parents Fix (NOT even mentioned in Charity's thread, but this an essential corruption fix to a problem that got even worse in Apartment Life. alfixes DOES address the bug, but I didn't need to extract it because Tuna already did a much better job, from scratch).

Also be sure to check @belladovah's additions to the list over here.

And then, here's where I finally come in, extracting directly from alfixes the missing features, of which THERE WERE NO OTHER EXISTING MODS TO REPLACE. You can read more details about it here. Here's the download link with my alternatives: https://simfileshare.net/folder/143255/

I'd like to thank SimPE and it's creators for allowing me to extract all the junk from alfixes, Charity for all their hard work in manually testing the bugs, Belladovah for the extra mods to complement this list, Amairani for mentioning the missing 3 undisclosed features in the thread (4 for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco!) and none for Pescado Wieners, bye.

[jennilah]

(light alcohol & weed talk lmao)

if any of yall have been following me for a long time you know im a total wiener when it comes to... substances lmao

anyway, starting in 2020, ive been drunk now about 3 times? and before the first time i set out to get inebriated, i did a LOT of research on how to best effectively & safely get there because im a lil worrywort

the same thing is happening now as i research weed (in canada, where its legal, of course) because i have issues with anxiety sometimes and DAMNB it would be nice to have SOMETHING i could take to go into chill out mode. that, and open some more options for me when im hanging out with the right crowds for entertainment purposes. (Not that I think getting drunk or high is necessary for a fun time! Clearly, I've been having fun without that for nearly my whole life until now)

thankfully no matter what method of getting high i decide to do for my first time, i already got my group of trusted friends on board with hanging out with me at my place to teach me, watch my intake, & make sure i dont freak out or anything

gotta be responsible ☝🤓

fun fact: nearly everyone in my damn family are lifelong potheads and im the straight-edge black sheep

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

@ziasaph

Prompt: When Roman and Y/N have a little phone teasing, Roman is left with a problem to solve...with his bare hands.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: +18, masturbation(male),cursing,explicit thoughts,smut(implied)

Notes: This is my first time ever trying to “recreate” what would go through a man’s mind while masturbating( I don’t have a wiener, so you know, this might not be 100% accurate) this is written in Roman’s POV only. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Fuck me...” I whispered as I adjusted my bulge for the 4th time. I just finished a phone call with Y/N, and we kinda had a little phone teasing so now,here I am making my way to my locker room with a very painful hard on that I couldn’t wait to take care of.

As soon as my eyes met the locker room door I sighed in relief, until I heard

“Yo Uce,hold up!”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I barked under my breath

“What up Uce?” My cousin Jimmy happily smiled at me

“Good,good...” I dumbly replied

“You ok there?”

“No I’m not ok Jimmy,what to you want?”

“Is this because you lost your match? Uce, you gotta learn how to lose man”

“This is not because of my match ok? It’s another thing that’s bothering me”

“Oh...Is it because Y/N hasn’t come back yet? I know you love her and all, but ever since she left, you got all blue and shit... I’m aware of your obsession towards her,but she has her own life problems to deal with you know? You can’t get all bitchy every time she needs to leave man...” he vaguely said

Y/N took a one month license so she could solve some problems regarding her family business, and ever since she left my mood has gotten worst and worst, and I still got 8 more fucking days ahead of me before she comes back! The racional part of my brain understands and agrees with what my cousin’s saying, but the other primal part of me just wants to punch his face and tell him to shut the fuck up.

He doesn’t understand the connection that Y/N and I have, she is my other half as cheesy as that sounds. I’ve never had believed that sort of stuff UNTIL the day I met her. From that day on I knew I had found my one and only. So you can’t really blame me for being in such a shitty mood, I was left without my sunlight for a whole fucking month, so yeah, I was gonna whine about it.

“Are you done,mom?” I said with an annoyed tone

“I’m just trying to help Uce”

“Yeah I know man” I sighed “I’m sorry is just that I gotta take care of something..” I vaguely said

“Ok, I’m not gonna keep you long, I was just gonna ask you if you would like to go out to th-“

“No,thanks. I have other plans” I quickly said before he could finish

“Really? And what possibly great plan is that,that you gonna miss a night out with your favorite cousin?”

“You really wanna know?”

“Yeah! And it’s better be a good plan for you to dismiss me like that”

“I’m gonna take a shower, take care of a very painful boner, jack off while I think about my girlfriend, then I’m gonna head back to my hotel room where a nice,big and comfortable bed waits for me...and maybe jack off again looking at some pictures of Y/N. Happy now?”

He looked at me in disbelief

“So you’re dismissing my invitation for a night out so you can jack off? How old are you? 14?” He started laughing

“Is that all Jimmy?” I made sure my voice demonstrated how annoyed I was.

“Yeah, yeah..go ahead Mr. Puberty go do your business...even tho you won’t need to take care of it yourself..” he barely whispered

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing...here I’ll even open the door for you..just so your hands don’t get too tired!” He said mocking me “Milady, please” He bowed down and was now 100% laughing at me

“Fuck you Jimmy” I muttered under my breath closing and locking my locker room door.

I got out of my ring attire faster than a demon from church and made my way to the shower, while I waited for the water to heat up, I begin to stroke myself lazily while I thought about Y/N and the last time we were together. I got under the shower and remembered her body, the way it felt against mine, her breasts and how they are a perfect handful size, how soft her skin is (specially her boobs), how delicate her nipples feel against my lips.

Her sexy love handles,fuck I love those, which is why I don’t really get it why she hates it so much and wants to get rid of them so bad? I love how they feel when I tightly grip them on my hands whenever I’m holding her hips in place while fucking her from behind. My dick got harder just to think about it..Fuck I wish she was here!

I love her ass, I was always a tits lover until I saw that ass! Then I was officially converted into an ass lover. I just love to touch it, grip it, bite it, I love to watch it bounce when she rides me, I love to kiss it, spank it, rub my bulge against it..

*I begin to stroke my cock harder*

And fuck it..I love to fuck her ass.

But not as much as I love to fuck her pussy, nothing compares to the feeling of my cock buried deep inside of her tight pussy, I could cum just by remembering the vision of my dick sliding in and out of that sweet pussy..MY pussy, that belongs to ME! Fuck I just wish she was here, I would eat her out like a mad man.

I love to go down on her, seeing her eyes roll to the back of her head as I hungrily devour her..seeing how she squirms underneath me, moaning..begging for me to fuck her, how incredible she tastes...

But I also love when she sucks my dick.

The sight of her, on her knees, with a mouthful of cock while she looks up to meet my gaze.. FUCK ME isn’t that a beautiful sight?! Her lips all swollen and red from sucking me, her hands stroking my cock while she looks up and give me one of her satisfied smiles..so fucking gorgeous. Even more gorgeous when she chokes on my dick, making me slide all the way down until I hit the back of her throat just so she can pull back, gasping for air, while she giggles amused about how far she had taken.

With all of those sweet memories I came on my hand, giving me some sort of relief (at least for now). But it wasn’t the same thing tho, it wasn’t her and I NEEDED her!

God I love that woman, and I just fucking miss her, I just wish that she was here..

I made my car ride back to the hotel thinking about everything that I missed about her. I missed her scent, her voice, her smile, her hugs, her kisses, the way she likes to stroke my hair to help her sleep, her stealing all of my gray sweatpants just so I couldn’t “advertise” my package to other women, our late night conversations that were sometimes meaningful others meaningless, our make out sessions, lazy morning sex, horror movies marathon, the way she argued with one of the characters and told them they were “so dumb” and she “wished they would just get killed already”, the way she comforted me, the way I comforted her...

I opened the door to my hotel room, dragged myself to the sofa and was so deep in thoughts that I didn’t even noticed that the lights were on.

“Should I come back later?” The voice said in quite an amused tone.

*Wait..I know that voice!*

I turned my head to my left side so I could meet the owner of that voice, the one I had waited 3 long weeks to have by my side again

“Y/N” I couldn’t help but ran towards her, grab her tightly in my arms and kiss her so intensely that she almost couldn’t breath.

“Ro” she giggled “Baby, as much as I love this affectionate side of yours, you’re kinda making it difficult for me to breath” She chuckled

“Sorry, it’s just that I missed you so fucking much! You have no idea what hell I’ve been through those 3 weeks without you” I said as I gave her light pecks all over her lips,neck and face.

“Aww Rome.. I missed you too love! That’s why I decided to make you a surprise come back, everything solved before expected so I didn’t need to be there anymore so I decided to come back to my home,you!” She smiled

“I am your home,just like you’re mine! Those 3 weeks without you were a nightmare!”

“Oh I know! Jimmy told me you were being a little bitch and if I didn’t came back soon he would whoop your ass!” She was laughing uncontrollably

“That fucker...he knew you were coming back today didn’t he?” I asked remembering his little comment about me not needing to jack off at the hotel.

“Yep! He helped me with everything. Why?”

“Oh nothing, it’s just that he asked if I wanted to go out with him somewhere after the show and I declined saying I had other stuff to do”

“Like what?” She asked slightly confused

“Oh you know, like jack off in the shower thinking about you..”

“Did you?” She looked at me with that vixen look on her face

“What do you think baby girl? After our little teasing on the phone, you got me all worked up so I had to think about you while I took care of business with my own hands” Which where now roaming down to grab her ass.

“That sounds fun..why don’t you tell me everything you thought about huh?” She deviously smirked at me

“Oh baby, I might as well just show it to you” With that I picked her up in my arms and made my way towards the bed. I was going to show her everything that went through my mind those 3 weeks.

And fuck,she better be ready, ‘cuz I got all night long..