#anon this is the funniest ask i have ever received

[disniq]

how do you write all these posts about how badly bruce treats jason and then ship fucking brujay

I mean. If they had a healthy relationship, I probably wouldn't want them to fuck about it

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

What exactly do you have against women being kind or cheerful

This whole thing comes off very cishetero dude and I don't think that's intentional??? But it's seriously giving man vibes

i am literally a lesbian

[dnpbeats]

I want phil to be able to get pregnant just so he can baby trap dan :(

alternate universe where while dan was doing WAD phil was just like one of those band wives who travels on the tour bus with the kids

[flippedorbit]

i thought your banner was 9/11. i dont go here but you appeared in recommended blogs

HELP

[gay-little-axolotl]

bb boy how long have you had covid for? 😭😭 are you okay? (Is that just a tag you use to organize things?)

I was about to ask “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” and then I realized. anon you sweet summer child

[grelleswife]

lol why is grell and mey-rin together suddenly a thing. she is with madam red come ON. she would never get with mey-rin.

It would appear that the same trollbunny who was pestering @bapydemonprincess earlier today has hopped onto my lawn, as well.

Decry our vision as loudly as you wish, faceless messenger, but, from my vantage point, I can clearly see Grelle and Mey Rin sharing an impassioned kiss on the rooftops of Phantomhive Manor—and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. 💅

(Also…my dude…my pal…why are you so shocked that the woman who wrote 20 of the 26 extant Grellefellows fics on AO3 is open to shipping Miss Sutcliff with Kuro ladies besides An? HELLO?!)

[judasofsuburbia]

you have to be the horniest mf on this website for joe keery

i……..

[snoozeeroo]

do u think gosho ever looks at fan works and finds like . yaoi of his characters and he just grieves everything up to that point

the day he decides to retire 😭😭😭

[galaxythreads]

why didn't skeleton cross the road?

because he's dead

[girlbossblackbeard]

OMFD is a show. You can’t fight me on this.

actually I can - "OMFD" is NOT a show. the correct acronym is "OFMD" 😎😎😎😎😎🤓 #owned #getwrekt #IQover9000

[truthdawn]

holy shit the slasher daybreak?

wait who is that idk wh

OH MY GOD BROTHER???

[originalartblog]

Is chuuya's hair supposed to be straight or curly?

I have no idea what prompted this ask but Anon let me tell you about my obsession with figuring out Chuuya's hair

(my personal bias is Harukawa's Chuuya if you couldn't tell)

I think calling it curly is a stretch, I'd call it wavy at best, because it does seem to curve on the ends. It's mostly the layering that makes it look fluffy though. The longer parts are pretty flat (top of the head), but the progression from 15 to now makes me believe that if he had longer hair, it would be wavier.

on the left you can also admire my collection of manga Chuuyas from the back, which I made to try to figure out what was happening with the long strand. First, the strand changes lengths from one panel to another (lol), and second, it seems to be a bunch of hair pushed to one side, not just the weird anime asymmetrical cut? With the intense layering it might be an actual centred rat tail he pushes on one shoulder.

that's my pitch, now go and be free

edit: there's more in the reblogs if the rat tail is making you cry

[loudclan-clangen]

too bad moth and bitter died virgins... They couldve fucked on the tracks

Hi anon,

1. Funniest ask I have ever received. Congrats.

2. Just as a general rule, before we speculate about the theoretical virginity of any of my Loudclan cats, just do us all a favor and go outside and grab a big handful of grass before clicking send.

3.

[mikami]

Mental test:

Imagine a situation where Sayu learns to teleport and Light knows it. What would he do: kill her with specifying a painless death or kill with a regular heart attack to not be suspicious. Or even his dad

I know I said I was going to ignore this anon from here on out, but this is the funniest ask I have ever received and I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't let you all share in its glory.

Teleporting Sayu will live rent free in my mind for ages to come.

[every-character-ever-poll]

Why has no character from the bible been featured? Heretic.

This is, by far, the funniest fucking ask I have ever and will ever receive. Everyone else go home, I want to be alone with anon

[kaeyas-beloved]

Saw the post w/ the prompt list and you said is open

If you don't mind, can you do 🥘 w/ Dazai from BSD?

(hope I did this right)

I don't mind at all Anon! (and no worries, you did it right <3)

CWs: gn!reader, petnames (dear), maybe a little ooc Dazai

Acts of service prompts: open!

[ 🥘 ] - having dinner ready for them when they arrive home

It wasn't rare for your boyfriend to greet you at the door the moment you get home, leaning in to place a kiss on your cheek. It was rare, however, for the man to greet you in the form of standing in front of you, hands folded behind his back. You stop midway on taking your shoes off, making sure to give him a glare that conveys your suspicion. "What did you do Osamu?"

"Im just greeting you, as always," comes his 'innocent' reply. His little smile that was meant to sell the idea that nothing out of the ordinary was going on did, in fact, not help his case at all. If anything, it just dug him further into whatever hole he's got himself into. You just hope there’s no actual holes involved.

For the next handful of seconds that passed you kept your gaze trained on him, analyzing all you could. There were no new injuries on his person (thank god), he didn't smell of river water or trash (thank god again) and, while he was smiling, it wasn't one that had sinister undertones. What the hell could it be then? "Don't lie to my face, what did you do?"

"I'm wounded dear. Do you really not trust me?"

"No." Yes, you actually think, but it's okay to tease him every now and then. Besides, you know that he knows you trust him with all that you are. "Either admit to your crimes dear or I'm walking out this door and having dinner with Yosano instead."

And he laughs - head thrown back and shoulders shaking as if you’ve said the funniest thing in the world. You didn't know what to expect from your empty threat, but it certainly wasn't to be blessed by the sounds of his merriment, "I was right, you are cute when you're mad." You’re truly dumbfounded but its admittedly difficult to suppress a smile of your own.

You goof, "is that what this is about? You wanted to see me mad?" you ask, resuming taking off your shoes and coat.

"No," he says, grabbing your hand the moment it’s unoccupied and encasing it in his, "I actually wanted to show you something." Oh god… spoke too soon.

Sighing, you nod in the direction of further into the house, letting him drag you to wherever it is this surprise is waiting. And a surprise it sure is.

How'd he know? When the hell did you ever say that this was your favourite? "I asked our friends if you're wondering." He really must’ve if he was able to lay out a dinner that’s exactly to your tastes. It appears freshly put out too, like he just finished pouring the last glass before you walked through the door.

You’re about to melt into a puddle of goo, embrace him and place kiss after kiss on his face when a devious idea entered your thoughts. Crossing your arms, you smirk and close your eyes, aiming for an expression between smug and smartass, “and you didn’t burn down the place? I’m shocked Osamu.”

Immediately a newfound weight bogs down your shoulder, your lover leaning himself on you, “I’m hurt! What makes you think I didn’t know how to do such a simple task like cook?” You don’t see it - you’re too busy trying to keep yourself from falling over - but he has the back of his hand pressed against his forehead, one eye closed and the other peeking towards you to catch your expression.

“Oh, I don’t know Osamu, maybe because when I first met you you smelled like a rotting corpse and when I first went to your house your dishes were staked in the sink.”

“I was going to do them later that day!” Having enough of being made fun of, Dazai reaches towards your unprotected sides, you unaware of the onslaught of torture you’re about to receive. “Besides, that didn’t stop you from loving me did it?”

“No, I suppose nOAAHHT!?” Twisting in his hold, you begin your perilous fight for air, but your lover is ruthless, not letting you go for a second. You end up bumping into the table and the chairs a few times, rattling the dishes on top. Ordinarily you’d be worried about them falling and breaking but right now you’re having too much fun with the silly man you fell in love with.

Then it happened. Looking down you find that your hand has landed right in the middle of one of the dishes. All playfulness stopped for a breath, both of you frozen as you just stood and stared… before bursting into fits of giggles, straightening up from the hunched over position you found yourselves in.

“How does this sound,” you pat at his arm, them still encircling your form, “you let me wash up and we can eat the no doubt yummy food you’ve made.”

“Fine by me,” he lets you step out of his hold, watching as you turn to leave only to stop a second after.

“Oh, and Osamu?” The man hums then makes a noise of surprise when you pull him closer, placing a kiss on his lips. Easily he kisses back, and as you pull away you drop your voice to a whisper, “thank you for making dinner, I had a rough day today, so this was really nice to come home to.”

Kissing him one last time you back up and turn to walk towards the bathroom again, leaving a smiling Osamu Dazai in the middle of the kitchen.

Tag list: @tickotaku // @spoopy-fish-writes // @xenuuu // @mariposa666haruka @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @lordbugs // @dontmindmebeing // @irethepotato

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