#and so i Google like are any bad side effects

[thehardkandy]

Aggravating and reassuring when I Google something because I'm like "why does my body always do X in Y circumstance" and then all the answers are just "your body normally does X in Y circumstance" cause I just have to be like ok I guess but I wish there was an option where that was abnormal cause I'd rather just not have it happen

[jirsungs]

first halloween... gone wrong? | dms drabble #4

word count: 1.6k words

synopsis: halloween was never your favorite. you would choose christmas over it in a heartbeat, but with your dorky drummer boyfriend who absolutely loves it never leaving your side, you might just tolerate the spooky holiday. (set in the drum me, stupid universe but can be read as a standalone!)

warnings: a knife is mentioned, the dms!couple is flirty and GROSS, but most of this is just fluff.

a/n: HIIII 😭 jirsungs nation, rise! it's been 2 weeks since any story related post has been uploaded, and i just want to deeply apologize for not being here ): i missed writing and putting my delusions down in a google doc. but i hope you guys enjoy this short drum me stupid drabble and missed these cutie patooties as much as i did ☹️ as always, feedback is ALWAYS loved and appreciated! happy reading <3

You were never fond of Halloween. Sure, you loved being able to go all out in costumes and go to Halloween parties with your friends, but you knew immediately that once those plans were over, you were left in your own accompaniment once again.

Some people would be joyful with spending the rest of their nights after parties and such alone, but you? You were used to the party scene and loved it when it never ended. Lucky for you, your dorky boyfriend of a few months, Park Jisung, always kept the party going.

“Hey, have you guys seen Ji?” You asked Ningning and her boyfriend, Jeno, after finally spotting them dancing together on the dance floor. Your voice was louder than usual due to Michael Jackson's Thriller bumping from the party speakers.

“No, we thought he was with you." Ning looks over to Jeno. “I thought he came with you and the guys.”

You both wait for Jeno's reply, but he just shrugs. “He was supposed to, but he was the last one to get ready. If anyone knows where he is, that's Chenle.”

You click your tongue. “I figured. I'm going to keep looking for him. Thanks, guys!”

Ning’s shout of “Good luck!” was the last thing you heard before you committed to walking through the crowd of musty bodies. You were surprised at how many people went all out on their Halloween costumes this year. Your surprise wasn't a bad thing though; if anything, you loved it.

You almost second-guessed your choice of costume. With you and Ning being the only girls in the group, you felt that it was right if the both of you matched. The angel costumes were cute; you were wearing a black tight dress while she wore white, but taking a look at the decided costumes this year, you began to feel basic.

Once you're out of the crowd, you spot Haechan, Mark, and Yeonjun in the corner. You take notice of Yeonjun trying his best to impress some girl while the two boys next to him silently judge, taking occasional sips out of their red solo cups. 

Haechan, in his Pennywise makeup and attire, sees you walking towards them, tilting his head at your costume. “What are you supposed to be? A demonic angel?”

Mark snickers at his friend's comment, which you pout at. “No. I'm just an angel who happens to wear black. And says you, Pennywise, isn't your costume like... super basic?”

Haechan gasps, his hand on his chest for the dramatic effect. Mark rolls his eyes and answers your question instead.

“Every year, the Rockway guys do a group costume. This year, we somehow decided on iconic horror movie killers.” 

“Ahhh… So, that explains your Leatherface mask.”

With a nod of his head, Mark replies with a “Yup.”

You glance back at the party, and the sudden remembrance of why you came up to them in the first place hits you. “Oh! By the way, have you guys seen Jisung? I literally can't find him anywhere.”

Your body physically sulks at their answers, telling you they haven't seen him in a while. With your hope slowly decreasing and the urge to ditch the party increasing, you decide to call him one last time. If he doesn’t answer, you’ll cut the party short and head home, unfortunately finding the comfort of your bed more enjoyable than being here. You loved the company of your friends, but it bummed you out that you haven’t seen your boyfriend all night after him telling you that he’ll be here.

After bidding your goodbyes to the group and giving Jeno the responsibility to get Ning home safely, you make your way to your car. It's late October with the breeze finally coming through, resulting in you rubbing your arms in hopes for warmth. As you walk, your ears pick up on the sounds of your heels clicking against the sidewalk cement until they pick up another pair of footsteps near you. At first, you don’t sweat it, already aware of the scattered groups outside of the frat. 

But as you walk more down towards your car, the shuffling footsteps don’t leave you. Okay, you’ve had enough of this. Your slight irritation was slowly increasing due to this sudden interruption of your plans to waste the rest of your night away by changing out of this angel get-up and watching comfort films.

The only person you craved to see you in this costume was nowhere to be found, anyway. Finally turning around, you face the person but stay near your car for safety reasons.

“Who are you, and why do you keep following me?” You ask.

You didn’t mean to have your words come out sharply, but when you found out your culprit to be someone in a Ghostface costume, it only made you roll your eyes.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but if you’re just here to mess with me, is it okay if you can choose someone else? I really don’t have the energy for this.”

A beat passes and still no response from the person. It was almost as if their feet were stuck in the cement; you were starting to feel chills at the creepy mask staring back at you. But then, your brain starts to put the pieces together.

The replay of what Mark told you earlier back at the party plays in your head. “Every year, the Rockway guys do a group costume. This year, we somehow decided on iconic horror movie killers.” Would it be a coincidence that Jisung, who you haven’t seen all night, just happens to be right in front of you?

Your face softens at the thought of the mysterious Ghostface being your boyfriend. “Ji, baby, if that’s you, I’m going to smack you. Where have you been all night? I called you three times.” 

Still no answer, but now they were slowly walking towards you, revealing what they were holding behind them to be a knife. From where you’re standing, you couldn’t tell if it’s real or a fake replica, but that doesn’t stop your grip on the driver seat handle tightening, ready to pull on it and get the hell out of here. 

But you try one last time. “Okay, quit it. This isn't funny.”

By this point, the wondering thoughts of whether this was Jisung or not cloud your mind. You’re now close to each other, and the Ghostface still hasn’t said anything. 

You know what? Fuck it! You’re not dying today! 

You tug the car door open, ready to rush inside, but the masked John Doe shuts the door before you can. Their gloved hand doesn’t budge on the door, making their body lean against it and impossible for you to get inside.

The fact that they haven’t shoved the knife into your body by now has you suspicious and less frightened, but more agitated. Finally, they remove the mask from their face, revealing— 

“Hi, pretty angel.” 

Your stupid, cheekily smiling boyfriend. 

He has no time to lean in and give you an apologetic kiss on the lips before you smack him on the chest and punch his arm. “You motherfucker!”

“Ow! What the hell was that for?” 

Your eyes squint at him asking you that, resulting in another punch to his arm. “Don’t ‘what the hell was that for’ me! You scared the shit out of me!”

You’re about to smack his chest again, but Jisung’s reflex hits faster than yours. Not giving you another opportunity to hit him, he’s quick to take hold of both of your wrists, which you immediately try to get out of. You hate (love) how strong he’s been getting. With his constant drumming and going to the gym with the guys on the side, it became more and more difficult for you to get out of his grip. 

With your hands unable to move, he takes the chance and plants quick kisses all over your face. Your face flusters quickly with you trying to move away from his lips. He knows he got you when your tugging to get out of his hands stops and you start giggling.

“Ji, stop it!” Your giggles only increase when his kisses do, leading him to drop your hands and place his on your waist instead. 

“I missed you. I’m sorry I didn’t answer; I wanted to keep up the bit of scaring you.” He says after giving you a big cheek kiss and pulling you closer to his chest.

You can’t stop the giddy smile forming on your face. “It’s okay. Just never scare me like that again or I will—” you point your pointy finger on his chest, almost in warning, creating some space between you two, “cut your balls off.” 

But he pays no mind to your threat, smiling down at you like a loser in love. “Yes, ma’am. Never again.”

You encircle your arms around his waist, looking up at him doe-eyed. “Now, can we please go home and watch comfort movies?” 

“Can I first admire how fuckin’ gorgeous you look in this and then go home?”

Oh. You forgot you had this costume on.

Your cheeks heat up at his words. “Language, Park. You could’ve admired this all you wanted earlier if you didn’t leave me alone the whole night.”

He pouts, “Will I at least see this costume some other time, baby?”

"Hmm.” You pretend to think. “I guess, you just have to wait and see.”

“Why wait when I can see it on you tomorrow?” There's a glint in his eyes, and you know it can only mean trouble.

“Easy, drummer boy.”

Little did he know that his almost insulting prank on you sparked an idea in your head. But it’s best to save that for next year, right? 

You guess, with Park Jisung by your side, you wouldn’t mind waiting another year to see what other Halloween pranks he has in store for you.

[just-j-really]

While I'm on the subject of Dreamling-does-tropes-wrong:

Hanahaki au where Hob's the one with hanahaki. Because I think however you set it up Hob refuses to play by the rules of the genre and the potential there is like catnip to me.

"The cure is confessing your love" variant? Hob's just like "Well fuck this actually" and tells Dream he loves him the moment he starts coughing up flowers. And there's so much potential there!

-Poor Hob tries to confess to Dream every time they interact and something keeps getting in his way- he falls in love in 1689, in 1789 they get interrupted, in 1889 he gets halfway through a confession and Dream YOU DAREs him, in 1989 he gets stood up. In 2022 Dream shows up at his table in the New Inn and Hob just blurts out "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU" before Dream has the chance to actually say anything.

-Modern day, post-reunion, Dream doesn't want to intrude on Hob's life but he does want to see him more so he decides to go for the totally rational move of using his Dream-powers to spy on Hob- which means he gets a front-row seat to Hob slowly succumbing to hanahaki the second their meeting ends. All of Hob's friends/coworkers/acquaintances are REAL worried for him, but he's just like "it's seriously nbd I'll just tell him next time I see him." Dream is also REAL worried while spying from afar, but eventually goes to Hob in person to beg him to confess to whoever he's in love with. (Could be very serious and emotional, could play like that one "just tell them you love them" "alright. hey, I love you." "yes, like that!" meme.)

-Hob blurts out a love confession at... literally any of their canonical meetings, and the rest of the fic is dealing with the fallout. I think the simplest way to do this is 1889, with the confession standing in for "I think you're lonely." I think the most interesting way to do this is 1489, because so much would change. I think the FUNNIEST way to do this is 1589, yes Hob is still married.

But then you can also do the "the cure is having your love requited" variant, where Hob suffers through several centuries with an incurable lung disease. One of his most treasured dreams is that someone will come up with a cure (but for Plot reasons it keeps just not happening, like someone does come up with a cure but the side effects just aren't worth it if you can technically survive having flowers in your lungs. And/or he's never found a doctor he trusted not to freak out if he died and came back on the operating table).

And then you've got options such as:

-Dream falls in love in 1689, and either they start up a relationship right then, or they spend several centuries where Hob thinks they're in a relationship (his feelings were returned, of course they are!) and Dream thinks he's pining hopelessly for Hob, who could never love him

-Dream Does Not realize that Hob is in love with him (and in fact thinks Hob just keeps getting hanahaki, over and over, for different people, and wonders why Death saddled him with the world's Messiest human). And then he falls in love with Hob.

-Dream DOES realize Hob is in love with him. Unfortunately, he falls in love with Hob (or more realizes that what he was feeling WAS love) while fishbowled. Fortunately, Hob notices the lack of flowers, gets worried about what that means (because if his Stranger returns his feelings then why isn't he here? the flowers can't be gone because he's dead, Hob refuses to believe it). Cue a fishbowl rescue!

-Dream falls in love with Hob post-fishbowl, but is in denial about his ow feelings and assumes Hob found a workable cure sometime while he was fishbowled, or got over him. He's VERY SAD about this and can't figure out why. Hob is busy googling 'how to ask out a guy who i empirically know likes me back but only looks at me mournfully when i try to flirt'

Like I want to write this fic so bad but there are so many directions i want to go with it...

[ratsandclocks]

Sharing (part 1)

(Male Reader/Rodolfo Parra/Valeria Garza/Alejandro Vargas/Phillip Graves)

📝3,508 words(oops) | 18+ | Smut

Alejandro and Graves cannot seem to get along when it comes to having you. Valeria and Rudy hate seeing you upset. They stir up a plan where everyone is happy at the end of the night.

Tags: polyamorous, F/M/M/M/M, Sub/Dom dynamics, pillow prince reader, punishment, restraints, forced proximity, voyeurism, oral(m & f receiving), anal fingering, self imposed edging, overstimulation, subspace(?), no use of y/n, use of petnames; Babe, Baby, Babyboy, Cielito, Cariño, Corazoncito

Dom Valeria, Dom Rudy, Switch Alejandro, Switch Graves, Sub Male Reader.

Note: This took a bit longer to write since you can see, the fic itself got longer than I first anticipated. I tried my best to give everyone some attention but its hard when there's five fucking people. Might finish tomorrow or the day after depending how busy I get but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Anyways this has gotten out of hand... and into the other cuz im jerking off—

Disclaimer: Author does not speak Spanish(fluently) and only used Google for minimum research. If any of the Spanish words used seem off, grammatically incorrect, and/or inappropriate, please inform me and I'll try to fix them.

A petty argument. One that's been going on for about a week between Alejandro and Graves. That's what got you all in this position.

You don't even remember what it was they were fighting about—could be that food you left on the fridge for them that they decidedly did not want to share with each other, could be Philip's now-empty bottle of aftershave that you like the smell of so much, could be that time you wore his shirt to sleep instead of Alejandro's—who cares what the fight was, all you know is that there's heat between them when it comes to you and you did not like that…

Now Rudy didn't like seeing you in distress, neither did Valeria. So naturally, they'd do something about that. And sure enough, they did.

"You're fucking with me." Graves says, as a matter of factly as he watched Rudy handcuff his right hand with Alejandro's left to his pure dismay. Their other hands weren't free either, as they were as tightly tied to their respective sides of the sofa, leaving them immobilized and stuck close to each other. Looking at them together feels like watching two dogs wary of each other, ready to pounce at the slightest provocation—you were simply glad that they cannot do anything about it, but you do pity their place. Their seat was facing the bed, right where you sat with Valeria comfortably kneeling beside you, the two of you not wearing more than your shirt and underwear.

"I'm not." Rudy responded firmly, arms crossed as he glared at the two. "You don't get to touch mi Cielito or yourselves. Not until you start getting along."

"Rudy…" you plead in their defense, but the man only looked at you softly, denied you with a shake of his head, then walked closer towards the bed.

"Don't feel too bad about them now, Cariño." Valeria cooed to you, absently stroking your hair. Her eyes were on the two tied up men while she spoke, directing her words to them just as much. "They weren't being nice, were they?"

"I'm not being nice?" Alejandro finally spoke, pointing his left hand to himself accusingly, only for Graves to pull away the same handcuffed arm. "Look at him!" Alejandro defended himself.

"You've upset our boy, Gilipollas." Rudy lectured, eyes still on yours. You would've said something—another plea or something along the lines of 'you don't have to do this' or 'it's not a big deal'—but Rudy was sitting with you now, hands on your chin to face him and stare at his longing eyes, and that look effectively shut you up. "He deserves way better from you both."

You gasped in surprise when Valeria gripped your hair to pull your head back, her lips suddenly latched onto your neck, already finding the sensitive spot just under your ear. "That he does."

Hands were all over you in a matter of seconds. Valeria's were groping and undressing you, not rushing but surely more forceful than Rudy's. He was way gentler compared to her, softly caressing every inch of your skin she exposes as he kissed your mouth, slowly but just as passionately as Valeria's. All of it familiar, all of it just right.

Heat rushes up your skin. It was already making you lightheaded, their contrast nearly giving you whiplash, but you love seeing their differences, making up for what each other lacked. How they mix so well just to please you, all of them and more just for you—something you wish Alejandro and Phillip could do together.

"You were the one who stole my shit." You heard Graves grumbling. When you looked at him, your eyes met and caught him in a scowl, but his frustrations were clearly directed towards the man beside him.

"It's a shared bathroom, Pendejo." Alejandro quipped, to which he earned a tug on the cuffs from the other man. He tugged back and now they look like little brats fighting over a piece of candy. You couldn't help but frown at the sight, which Rudy quite immediately notices.

"Ey!" He yelled at them and the two men froze in an instant. "You keep fighting like that and you won't get to touch him at all."

"It's not fair, Rudy." Alejandro whined, easily switching from hostility to something more submissive, something he does that usually riles up Rudy. Not tonight though.

"And you're not being fair to him either. Just look—" at that, Alejandro finally looked at you. Your brows furrowed and eyes slightly teary, and clearly not for the reason of being in the debauched position Valeria's hands put you in. Oh how that just breaks his heart, seeing his poor corazoncito longing for him, so close yet so far. How hurt you must be from all his stubbornness.

"You think he wants you two away? That he doesn't want you here with him right now? Think he doesn't want to feel you inside him? You two are the ones depriving our lover of yourselves. Think about that."

"Do you want them, Cariño?" Valeria lewdly whispered to your ears, but loud enough that the other men could hear it. You only nodded, unable to form words while she trails her hands into your boxers, rubbing and stroking you under the garment. "Want their cocks inside of you? Touch every inch of your skin? Fuck you 'til you can't walk like you deserve it?"

"Mhm…" you moaned when her hand gripped your cock, your hips involuntary fucking into her hand.

"Then they gotta be good, right? Else they don't deserve you. Bad boys don't get to touch my sweet sweet boy."

She's pulled you out now and your cock was on full display for them all, hard and dripping as she stroked it. Rudy took off your boxers, throwing it haphazardly somewhere in the room to be picked up later in the next morning. When Valeria let go of you, Rudy took over quickly, teasing his thumb on your slit and you arched your back, promptly falling onto the bed with a whine. You were panting when he let the teasing off, but he didn't stop stroking you in slow firm tugs. Valeria chuckled fondly at the sight as she's taking off her panties, giving you and the rest of the men a show.

"Look at him, Rudy," she says, seductively crawling back towards you, "so sweet and sensitive. Such a shame they won't get a taste."

"Val…" you whined, reaching for her. She's cradling your face now, making you look straight into her eyes.

"You need something, Cariño?" It was almost condescending how she said it, but god if it weren't making you desperately buck into Rudy's hand you would've complained.

"Need you… up here—" she kissed you then—mouth on yours, full of hunger, moans and grunts, teeth and tongue, completely overpowering you—before pulling away and crawling farther. She moved to hover just above your head, legs on either side as she reposition herself with her cunt just above your face. Another whine escaped you when her hands went back to your hair, pressing you into the bed.

"Show me then," she ordered, "show me how much you need me. Show them what they're missing out on."

Your hands wrapped around her thighs, pulling her down and ravaging her like she's the last meal of your life. You lap your tongue at her, burying your face deeper and pushing in your tongue farther. Nose nuzzling to her clit so perfectly that she twitches above you. She was clearly amused, letting out an exaggerated moan to egg on the tied up men.

"So good for me, Cariño. There, there, just like that—dios mio, that tongue! So good. Keep going, baby. They don't deserve you like this."

"Fuck's sake." Graves grunted. Valeria knows just how much he loves your mouth, because you know how to use it. He loves it when you kiss him and try to win him over, giving a good fight only to let him take charge in the end. He loves when you nip and bite on his skin, not too hard to hurt but just soft enough to make him feel like heaven. He loves when you suck on his cock desperately like it's your life on the line, loves how you use that tongue oh so sweetly around him. He loves everything about that mouth of yours, and now Valeria's using it against him.

You thrust your hips when you felt Rudy's tongue circling on your tip. He lifted one of your legs up with his free hand, squeezing lube on your balls to drip onto your ass, and proceeding to tease a finger into your hole. It wasn't much trouble prepping you—with how much you get fucked all the time, surely it won't be—but he still takes his time with it, pushing in slowly, always in search of something, making sure you feel good all throughout. He fucked you earnestly with those fingers, twitching when he found that spot that melts your bones and he instantly stopped with his movements, only to start profusely rubbing that spot and make you whine shamelessly.

And you heard Alejandro let out a strangled groan, now fully aware of Rudy's intentions to tease him.

"So cruel, mi rey." He groaned at the sight, he can see so clearly when Rudy's putting you on display like that. He always loved your ass—loved the involuntary movements you make and sounds you let out when it was him playing with you, making you feel good, when you squeeze around his cock plunged deep into you. God, does he wish it was him in Rudy's place, and Rudy knows that really well, so he's making it a show. Rudy pulled his mouth away.

"Keep watching." Rudy spoke before shoving your cock straight down his throat without a warning.

You moaned into Valeria's cunt, sending shivers down her spine and she chuckled. Now fully sat on your face, she grinds her hips on you, vigorously chasing her high until she stiffens above you, letting out a long moan and sigh in relief as she came on your face. She gave a few more thrusts into your tongue before getting off to the side, lifting you to lay your body between her thighs.

"Would you look at that, Babe." She addressed Graves who is now looking at you with a certain thirst in his gaze. Your face glistening in Val's wetness, eyes closed and brows furrowed in pleasure as Rudy kept bobbing his head, working you up. Valeria's hands traveled to your chest, pinching your nipples and making your back arch. "You wanna come, cariño?" She asked and Rudy sucked on the tip of your cock his fingers fucking into you faster to get you off quicker. But you mewled in response, head shaking as you held tightly on her arms and he immediately slowed his movements down.

"No?" Rudy asks, a heated look on his face. "What do you want then? Wanna get fucked in the ass, mi Cielito? Need a cock to come on to?"

You didn't need to say anything more, you nodded and Rudy carefully let you go. Your chest was heaving and you felt weak, too deep into the headspace Valeria had put you in and the pleasure you were just swimming in. You couldn't move on your own and so the two of them worked together to reposition you.

Now you're facing the men on their seats, your chest pressing on the bed with your ass up in the air. The men in front of you were looking at you with a certain darkness in their eyes, they seem painfully hard under their tight pants, their chests rising visibly with their heavy breathing. Graves couldn't stay still in his seat, constantly moving as if it'll do anything to ease the tightness in his pants—it doesn't.

"Phillip…" you whined, eyes staring at him with haze, god you were so pretty. The man could only groan in response.

"You alright, Baby?" Graves asked, because as much as he wants to take care of you, it's all he could do.

Rudy's hand was on you again, splayed out on the bottom of your spine while the other held his cock, teasing your hole just before slowly prodding in. He was big, you knew that—you're used to it, in fact—but it never fails to make you keen, feeling the stretch no matter how much grueling prep he gives you. You bit your lip as you tried to relax, sighing when you finally felt him bottom out.

"You were asked a question, Cielito." Rudy reminded you, hand reaching to stroke your hair as if to help you ground yourself. You leaned into the touch as you moaned, letting out an affirmative 'Mhm' to answer.

"I'm good…" you sighed, plopping yourself back into the bed, your hands reached to clench the sheets and prepare yourself. You grind your ass to feel Rudy's cock and it's all he needed before he started fucking you.

It was slow and sensual, dragging his thick cock to the tip before slowly pushing in again. You could almost feel every vein on him, every time his head almost caught on that sweet spot inside you but just barely missed—you knew he's doing it on purpose.

"So pretty, isn't he?" You heard Valeria. You don't remember when but she's now behind Alejandro and Graves, caressing Phillip's face with one hand while exploring Alejandro's body with the other. Graves had his head leaning against her while the other man was tense in his seat, trying—failing—to feign control of his desires.

"See what you're fighting for? Getting fucked raw without you?" Valeria said to Phillip, lightly biting his ear to tease before turning to Alejandro neck. "All because you don't know how to share."

You screamed when Rudy suddenly slammed into you, slowly pulling out before slamming back in. Then he took pace, quickening without losing the strength in his thrusts. You were a moaning mess, broken noises leaving your mouth as air gets punched out of your lungs.

"Does it feel good?" Valeria asked and you barely registered that it was directed at you, all you could manage was a pathetic whimper as Rudy mercilessly pounded into you, "Words, Cariño."

"S'good… s-so—" you let out a yelp when Rudy finally hits that spot, deciding to keep abusing it and leaving you a thoughtless, sobbing, mewling mess under him—Under Valeria, and under all of their gazes. You were boneless on the bed, head in the clouds, you felt like you'd float through the ceiling any second, and you were thankful for the moment Rudy put his weight on your back, engulfing you with warmth as perched his hands on the side of your head.

Your gaze wandered through the room, processing anything was a struggle with your mind being full of haze, but you could see Graves struggling through his breathing and the bulge in his uncomfortably tight jeans. He bit his lips as your eyes met and you could only imagine the torture he was in right now. You were like a caged man observing a hungry shark in the ocean—you can see the urge it had to pounce, to destroy the barrier between you, and devour you til you're nothing but bones. But he can't have his way, can't even touch himself, can't give himself any relief. All he could do was simply watch you in your position, so enticing, so good for them all.

It was when he broke the connection between you that you noticed Alejandro had his hand on Graves' thighs, slowly rubbing up on him with a proud smirk on his face.

"The hell are you doing?" He asked Alejandro, a little wary, but just as much curious of the man's intentions.

"Can't touch ourselves, but they didn't say anything about touching each other. Might as well give the boy a little show." Alejandro said, his hand traveling farther into Graves' inner thigh. His breath hitched, swallowing a lump in his throat at the teasing touch. "Unless you'd rather you sit your ass there wishing you could get off by just watching."

"No." Graves said firmly without missing a beat—much to your surprise. He closed his eyes, rested his head back and let out a sigh, "Keep… keep going…"

That proud smirk on Alejandro's face got impossibly more smug and he did not hesitate to move his hand straight to Graves' bulge, pressing and rubbing on it with enough pressure to make the man keen and relax on his seat. Alejandro was quick to decide to unbutton Phillip's jeans, shoving his hand in and pulling his cock out. It was painfully red, dripping and desperate, and by God did you want it in your mouth right now.

You would've begged Rudy to let you suck off the man, but Alejandro is quicker than you could think. He was already leaning down—as uncomfortable the restraints make it—and licking the precum before it could drip down his shaft, then bobbing his head while his hand pumped the man's shaft. Phillip let out a sigh, finally opening his eyes to find Valeria beside him, looking down at him with amusement.

"What?" Graves panted, eyes heavy as he tried to read Valeria's look.

"Nothing," she feigned, leaning down closer to the man, then pulling his head back til his neck was exposed enough to the woman's desire, watching the man's throat bob as he swallowed, "you just look so cute getting along."

She kissed him with vigor, the other hand cradling his neck and their mouth fought for dominance with Valeria at an advantage. Her hand traveled to his chest, squeezing it once before traveling farther down his stomach, tracing every muscle until she reached Alejandro's head. She pulled him off and you can see his stubble glistening from his own spit, she quickly moved into kissing him now, freeing her other hand to reach for Graves' cock, covering Alejandro's bigger hand and pumping it together.

As much as you wanted to keep watching, you couldn't look anymore with how much Rudy was trying to keep your attention on his cock, it was a task to even keep your eyes open. Desperately needing to ground yourself, you reach for Rudy's hand, which he decided to interlock with yours. You gripped it like a lifeline, feeling that heat in your stomach starting to overfill and you were tightening around Rudy.

"Oh? You close, Cielito?" Rudy panted next to your ear, "Are you gonna come? Go ahead, you can do it. Come on my cock."

You didn't need to be told twice. Your cock twitched and soon enough, you came hard, face buried into the mattress muffling your otherwise loud moan, shuddering from the pleasure that shot through your spine.

Rudy fucked you through your orgasm, riding it out with you until the sensation starts edging into overwhelming pleasure. He was still pounding into you, quicker and harder, chasing his own end.

"So close, mi Cielito. Just a little more, I know you can take more. Take it."

Your legs are near to giving up, thighs shook from the exertion, but you stayed still, stayed good for him and let him use you all he wants. You were rewarded with a tight embrace, and the warm feeling of his cum painting your walls. He finally slowed down, hips stuttering as he slowly pulled out. Your legs finally gave out and you went limp on the soft mattress, Rudy followed with you to keep embracing you from behind, giving your back little pecks of kisses and nuzzling on your shoulder.

"Muy bien, mi Cielito. You did so good for me." You felt his warm breath on your neck as he kissed you just under your ear, caressing your hips and just showering you with all the love he could give. You'd love to stay like that for eternity, engulfed in his affection, you could never get used to it. Unfortunately, it had to end sooner than you wished. He pulled away, leaving your behind exposed to the cold air, but not for long as you felt strong arms flip you to lay on your back.

You find all of them above you, even Alejandro and Graves now free from their restraints on the seat.

"Still with us, Cariño?" Asked Valeria and you smiled, letting out a sigh that's more of a stuttered laugh. You couldn't help the heat crawling back up your skin seeing them all looking down at you, you swallowed a lump in your throat before answering.

"Never left." You spoke, part smugness, part teasing. They all smiled, fully understanding what you meant by those words alone—more.

"Good." Alejandro growls, and your stomach drops at the feral look he gives you, his smile widening, tongue going over his teeth like watching food served to him on a silver platter.

"Because two of us just learned how to share."

(To be continued…)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for block evading to check if I’m blocked?

I (14f) know for certain I’ve been blocked by 5 people on this app two for looking like a bot when following and the other because I didn’t want to Rp with them even though I didn’t know them

This is about the other two who I don’t know why they blocked me, I’m not trying to refollow them or look at their posts in secret I don’t even talk to them maybe sent a couple asks to the first one but not the second and was never a mutual with them just a random follower

The first one made me really stressed because they blocked me while I was on the blog so I thought it was a tumbler error, so I double checked by searching them in google and looking at them and searching them on tumblr to find they had a sideblog I followed that blog and found they blocked me again I’ve since left them alone but have been stressed since I don’t know what I could have done to get blocked since I never sent any hurtful asks or do anything problematic on my regular blog

The second blog that blocked me made was one when I followed their side blog and when I tried to go to their main I was blocked on that, again I searched google and found I could see their blog there but not on here which also made me stressed since I don’t have any memories of interacting with that blog at all besides thinking the art looks familiar so I don’t have any idea why they blocked me

And it’s not an age thing since I haven’t put my age anywhere on my blog for no reason other than not wanting to so it can’t be that

Extra information: when I say search google I mean clicking the copy links button and pasting that on google so I can look at it

The reason I’m asking is because I’m a little paranoid and stressed thinking I’ve done something wrong and it’s effecting me because I don’t want to have a bad reputation on here for something I’m unaware of so me double checking is just me trying to be more thoughtful when I send asks and I still follow the sideblog the second person who blocked me and a third one from the first and wonder if I should block them on those accounts or unfollow?

What are these acronyms?

[sometimesraven]

re: the ableism in Dot and Bubble

I understand it almost certainly wasn't Rusty's intention for the "can't walk without the arrows" thing to be ableist, but the implications are there and it was so, so hard to watch.

As I said while liveblogging, I've noted that reliance on tech like Google Maps has caused a regression in skills like navigation and a frustrating refusal to even try. I'm frequently faced with that fact as I live somewhere you have to use your eyes to see and most fast food delivery drivers just Cannot Find Us bc the GPS goes wild and they can't follow the directions I always give them so I inevitably have to go out to find them myself. Believe me, I know what he was going for with that part of the script.

However.

When you exaggerate that point to the tune of "she literally cannot walk" without the aid, and then instead of it being deeply disturbing to the two 'kind, helpful' characters (Doc n Ruby), they actively roll their eyes at her and it's played as an "omg how stupid is she" moment, you have to see how that looks.

Let's reframe it: someone you've met was raised in a cult. A very insular, very strict cult that they literally have never seen outside of. At this point in time you know nothing about them but you do know they're in a very insular, very closed-off society. One day they tell you they have no idea how to,,,,,, idk, wash themselves without assistance. If your first instinct is to laugh at them and roll your eyes like they're overexaggerating, you're an ableist.

I struggle to believe anyone like the Doctor wouldn't perhaps initially react with confusion/incredulity but then, after realising this person is 100% serious, go "oh my god that's horrible okay uh let me try to walk you through this and teach you how".

It's a horrible, cynical response that would maybe track if at this point the characters already knew she was an entitled pissbaby. But they don't and that's why it comes across so terribly.

Especially when there's no indication that this is a side-effect of her entitlement and she's literally insulting herself "I'm so stupid!" and genuinely upset and frustrated that she can't even walk in the face of actual death. And yes, she miraculously can walk again once she meets Ricky but it wasn't because she was ignoring the Doctor's advice because racism because he had not given her any. She had literally zero clue how to walk without assistance until Ricky guided her.

This isn't a refusal to learn a skill based on entitlement, this isn't a heavy-handed metaphor, you have given this girl a disability (even if it is psychosomatic, it is still a disability). And in a time where social media + youth entitlement is being blamed for an increase of ADHD, Autism, chronic illness and DID diagnosis-seekers (among other things, but those are the ones people are most aggressive against) that just does not look good At All.

Russel could easily have made it so that they just had no idea how to navigate without the bubble and refused to learn.

Maybe at first show it as genuine frustration on Lindy's part that she can't find anything without guidance but slowly show that no, she's perfectly capable, she just doesn't care to learn.

Hell, you could have everything play out the same way but have her genuinely get offered help to begin with by the Doctor and ignore it, only for Ricky to say the same thing to her later and she gets it immediately.

Idk, anything beyond literally disabling her. The show does a great job at humanising her before showing us that she was a monster all along, but I feel like Rusty himself forgot that he was still representing a Whole Entire Person (something that people on all ends of the political spectrum do All The Time: "person is bad therefore [___ism] is okay in this instance". Ableism especially)

[schizosupport]

hey, can i ask some advice? if u dont have any its fine!

i just got diagnosed and im getting on meds soon, and like, logically i know its good cause when im at my worst i am bad and i dont want to keep living life like that, but im terrified of medication like, any kind. the stuff im already on for like, chronic illness stuff was enough of a struggle but anti psychotics terrify me.

so basically, do u have any advice for someone getting on medication for the first time? i dont know anyone like me (schizophrenic style) and so i dont rlly have anyone to ask for advice

feel free to not answer if u dont want to, and thank u for ur time!!

Hey there anon!

My advice about antipsychotics, as well as any other psychiatric medication, is to give it a try with an open mind. Your mind should be open towards the possibility that this is helpful as well as the possibility that it's harmful. The most likely experience is that there will be things that suck about being on medication, and things that are easier on medication. And you need to be prepared to make a cost benefit analysis about what's right for you.

Another thing to keep in mind is "what kind and what dose". I often see people being put on a quite high dose right off the bat, because the psych has an idea that that's the "right dosis for psychosis". But actually people are very individual, and sometimes much less will do it.

I'm currently on the irriest bittiest baby dose of risperidone. When I was initially put on that 8-9 years ago, they soon gave me a dose that was much too high for me, and as a result I changed to another med (abilify) which was honestly way less compatible with me, but more tolerable at a higher dose.

So ... Doctors often don't like when you want to be informed and use Google to look into meds and stuff like that. But I cannot recommend it enough to look up the standard doses of the medication you get described, and see where your dose falls. If the med isn't having the desired effect, your psych might continue to increase the dose. It's good to know when enough is enough. Don't look up the side effects, but do keep a little list/diary about emerging physical or mental symptoms. And have someone else crosscheck that with the side effects at a point.

Some psychs will prescribe more than one antipsychotic to the same person long term. This is generally not recommended, so especially as an initial move, that would be a red flag to me. Same can be said for starting you out on a high dose, when it sounds like you aren't currently in a psychotic episode. If the med is intended as a longer-term stabilizer and not a way to shut down a psychotic episode, it shouldn't be at too high a dose. For many reasons, up to and including, you want to leave room to increase the dose if you do have a major psychotic episode and need extra help coming out of it.

With all those precautions made I also wanna say that antipsychotics CAN be a good and helpful tool. For me they help me sleep and they take the edge off in a way that nothing else really does. They increase my coherence and they give me a thicker skin to deal with the difficulties of life. In that way they make me stronger.

[koolades-world]

Hi hi! Just wanted to start off by saying I love your work ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Anyways I was wondering if you could do some comfort hcs for an mc that has IBD? You’re fine if you don’t want to write for this since it’s pretty uncommon from my understanding.

Note: I felt it important to say since there’s lots of misconceptions floating around (cough cough TikTok-)that IBD has lots to do with diet. Either it playing a role in the cause or for treating it. Which all the specialists I’ve seen have said diet is neither the leading cause nor is it the solution. All it is that some foods irritate for no particular reason and should generally be avoided.

Sorry if I overshared lol I’ve just had people tell on multiple occasions that it’s a diet thing when it’s not- it’s an autoimmune disease.

Thanks so much for reading my little impromptu rant. Again you don’t have to write for it if don’t wish to due to it being a very niche topic. Anyways hope you’re well stay safe.

-🪴🧺

hi!!! of course I can! no worries about oversharing or anything, i actually didn't know that was a misconception and help me out :)

i'm almost certain i have ibs (long story short i couldn't get diagnosed but it runs a very clear path in my family and all of my symptoms match up exactly the same it's like it was copy and pasted) and of course so i could properly write this i did a little research, and based on what you said and what i read, it sounds like people are getting the two mixed up which is something that could be fixed by a simple google search :( i'm so sorry you have to deal with people like that

i hope i did you justice and this could be a little respite in your day. enjoy <3

Mc with IBD

Lucifer

he tries his best to make your days better in little ways!

gift baskets will randomly appear in your room filled with things you'd only mentioned in passing that you wanted or needed to him

if you're feeling up for it, he'll take you out for a meal at least once a week to make you feel special. it might not be fancy every time, but you can still feel the love

if you're not though, no worries! he'll do something equally as nice at home for you with food he made himself

Mammon

if you need surgery, he's becoming your personal nurse while you heal!

every moment he can be, he's by your side

lots of cute little forehead kisses and magically producing your favorite candies from behind his back for you

you won't even have to lift a finger to change what you're watching on tv, let mammon take care of it <3

Levi

he's the king of staying in, so if you don't feel like going out, his room is always open to you!

you don't even need a password to get in, because it's you

if you're ever feeling down or unwell because of your ibd, he always lets you have full control over what you do

if you play a game like minecraft together, he'll always have surprises ready for you so next time you play, you'll find it <3

Satan

he's curious about your medication and does extensive research into it

he always makes sure any painkillers or other meds you might take won't interfere with your ibd meds!

he will recommend the over the counter painkillers if you want them that have the least amount of bad side effects, such as tylenol because he hates to see you in pain

he's got lots of connections and will use them in any way possible if it could possible help you

Asmo

he's the best at making sure you take good care of yourself!

if you're bad about taking your meds, he'll get you a cute little pill divider

will also get a matching equally cute water bottle that you can use to help take the pills

he ensure everything can be done while being fashionable, because he finds that it makes things more bearable for him, so why not his favorite person too?

Beel

he knows quite a lot about supplements and vitamins, so if you take them, he's asking you questions about them because he just wants to get to know you better

he is always there for you if you need someone to talk to, or just want to rant/vent

provides the best comfort and warm hugs :)

Belphie

like his twin, he also gives great hugs

he's your number one fan of course! he's always with you even if you're not in your bed

it may take all of his energy, but if you want to go out, he's going with you no matter what

he'll even share his signature cow pillow with you 🥺

[violetszone]

Body Shot

Arthur Leclerc x fem!reader

Summary: Your friend takes you to a private club party in Monaco. You agree to play a game with a group of people you just met your partner in the game is the boy who has been watching you since you came to the group.

WARNINGS: Bad English (a little google translate, not edited writing),alcohol,club,high people

The saying that Monaco would be fun at night was true, but you still couldn't get over the effects of what happened last night, you looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror, then your eyes went to the side of the blonde boy sleeping in the bed, you couldn't believe it.

*6 hours ago*

It's been 24 hours since you've been to Monaco but you're already starting to feel like you're from there, your friend decided to take you to a private club party and said it was a party where most celebrities would be, party and the word alcohol was enough to convince you though.

When you entered the club, everything was normal at first, you took a few shots with your friend and danced on the floor, then your friend said she wanted to introduce you to someone and took you to a little group. There were famous people you knew in this group, but especially one of them was staring at you, you knew him, but you couldn't see who he was because of the lights.

When you leaned over to your friend and asked who he is, she told you he is formula 2 driver Arthur Leclerc, my god, of course you knew him.You continued chatting in the group, finally it was decided to play a game called Body Shot, it would be fun so you decided to participate Arthur was still looking at you from time to time and he smiled when you decided to join the game now it would be even more fun

First dice rolled first players passed Arthur's turn has come  he chose you as a partner they roll the dice  it was telling him to drink liquor from your stomach he helped you to lie down on the empty table he put a piece of lime between your lips you were excited but you didn't show it, they placed the glass of liquor on your belly button and poured salt on your stomach

First he licked the salt from your stomach with his tongue, you were watching him, he never took his eyes off you, he approached your belly button and took the glass of liquor with his mouth and sewed them all at once,without wasting any time he approached your lips and took the lime from your lips threw it in his mouth and started to kiss you he helped you to stand up while kissing.

God that was so hot everyone around you was cheering and applauding  while you were kissing, everyone could have been high but you and Arthur were sober enough to know what you're doing now, You were both out of breath when you stopped kissing Arthur helped you off the table grabbed you by the waist and dragged you out of the club.

The rest of the night was even better while you were thinking about this, you heard a noise behind you and you turned there Arthur stood on the bed and looked at you "Good morning beauté  what are you doing there come back to bed" You smiled and walked over to him and sat across from him on the bed "Hi" he laughed "YN I know how naughty you're,don't be shy of what happened last night come on" you laughed and slapped him on the shoulder this is how you met Arthur Leclerc, the man of your dreams.

[randomperson0k]

the evil thoughts got me fucked up and shit

OH forgot to mention: top 2 images are the final 'redesign', 2 images below are concept sketches i made for the 'redesigns'

tgs jekyll and hyde but they got evaporated by my evil headcanon beam and stitched back together by somebody who has no experience with using a needle and thread to the point where theyre more just like a seperate character

im sorry for my sins

PLEASE HEAR ME OUT BEFORE BITING A CHUNK OUT OF MY ARM. if anybody wants to read about my evil headcanon world all the stuff is below. wasnt really exaggerating when i said i ripped their character apart and stitched them back together though.

i do have a google doc full of everything i headcanon for tgs but some of that is embarrassing as hell so im just slapping the important stuff here

most of these 'headcanons' are here more because they make me happy than to actually make any sense. as a warning.

smokes fat blunt puffs it in your face anyways uh trans henry jekyll yeah (gets shot) ty person from the j&h community i was messaging that dragged me to the dark side and introduced me to the world of embracing my j&h trans headcanons. a true angel.

i really like more book inspired takes on j&h than the musical ones soo uhh.. yeah theyre the same person fully no j&h arguing thing. im soooorrrrryyy its just my preference for adaptations and i find it a lot more fun to play with story wise. also some other reasons but i wont get into those

polyamorous and bisexual (bi because... obvious reasons. poly because of that one couple they meet up with in the comic every now and then. my favourite ... ship (i think thats the right term?) in the comic. i love them.)

gas mask because it looks cool + chemical shenanigans ("oh but those didnt exist" shh. shhhhh.")

speaking of chemicals! they are much more into science. mostly does science-y stuff when theyre hyde though. they like to break into lodgers rooms and contribute to experiments.

facial hair. thats it. no further reasoning will be given

tried making jekyll in the concept redesign of him look older. failed SO bad im sorry i know its horrible.

hyde has pointy ears + pointer teeth (and green tongue because potion goop) + slit pupils because i am incapable of designing a human hyde. i have no idea why but i just cant.

earrings because 1: i have a bad habit of giving designs earrings and 2: i remember seeing a few headcanons of j&h with earrings and they were so tasty to look at so i had to do my own

bandage scarf thing from the beta tgs hyde design + newer tgs design that only shows up in the mind... world.... thing.

added the uhhh goggles from the old design too.

red and green hat because i couldnt decide if i wanted hyde to have the red hat from the old design of tgs hyde or the green hat from the current design. ripped it in half and chose both. great decision making i know

chunks of brown hair in hydes because why not. also red ring around one eye as like a weird variant of half heterchomia.

hyde has weird patches of green colored skin idk it just looked cool when i was fiddling with colors so i kept it

hyde has red scales in certain spots of the design. no further explanation

gave hyde black gloves to contrast jekylls white gloves + cmon. hyde probably touches the most gross revolting shit with the places they go to. they deserve some gloves.

changed their body type a litttttle bit just a smudge

i was going to give jekyll a cravat around the neck (a really bad designing habit of mine is to give characters cravats. not my fault they look so cool) both as a fancy thing + to hide lack of a adams apple buuttt the design felt way too clumped so im scrapping that. ignore the cravat in the drawing. grrr bARKBAKRABK

actually does sparkle visually/not just as a non-existent visual effect and people can actually see it. lanyon always swats them away because the sparkles get in his face.

hyde is more shorter than shown in the comic, more like book hydes height. like a foot or more shorter than jekyll. jekyll stays around the same height though. hydes probably the shortest one in the society.

permanent eyebags. does not sleep but cmon we all already knew that

hyde has a strong scottish accent instead of the other accent he fakes in the comic that i always forget the name of

has a cane like the og book. its a sword cane.... yeah i have a addiction, im sorry. (like half my own personal characters have sword canes)

i suck so bad at drawing shoes so hydes shoes look like ass but theyre supposed to be big boots since this guy probably walks through yucky mucky areas and stuff

i would totally write some oneshots or something like that of these guys going on adventures doing experiments and stuff yknow . (stuff like lodgers content and interactions, lanyon and hyde interactions because i enjoy secret identity and person said secret identity personal knows outside of their secret identity interactions, that one couple i talked about before interactions with jekyll/hyde and just in general random oneshots that make no sense) if i actually had any literacy skill

anyways im done my ramble. now you guys can shoot me

[befemininenow]

Welcome to my blog, stranger.

You probably got here by accident, or by intention. Whether it was the algorithm or a shared post from this blog, it was appealing enough to get you here. Maybe it was the girls in the pics. Maybe it was the captions that persuaded you. Maybe the descriptions in the posts were relatable. Or maybe even the blog’s name caught your attention. Whatever it was that led you here, welcome to my trans girl caption blog. It’s mostly captions and post descriptions based on the fantasies and IRL experiences of trans girls on a random POV. They may even “crack your egg”. While they may not speak for all trans girls, it may be relatable to you. Once in a while, I may end up making a post about other feminine-leaning identities such as femboys if you’re also into that. However, If you’re not comfortable with this topic or expect other BDSM-related topics (i.e. sissy, dom worshipping, etc.), I suggesst you look somewhere else.

Update as of April 26, 2024: I made some edits to the post since so much has changed from last year. Also, hi. I’m Ashley Nicole. But you can call me “Nicki/Nikki”.

What is this blog about?

It is caption blog detailing the experiences of trans girl’s (or woman’s) while closeted or out. Some posts even detail my own experiences dating as back as I can remember. Imagery of girls, cis and trans, are generally used in relation to the captions. Each experience is unique, so don’t feel bad if you can’t relate to posts like “anime girls cracked my egg”. I seldom share other topics related to issues trans girls often face, as well as even share a small biography of trans girls in a few of my posts.

Who is it aimed for?

It is aimed at those who identify as transgender, questioning, fluid, and those who wish to explore their feminine side. These captions are meant to detail experiences and fantasies that trans girls have even before transitioning. However, captions are not meant for everyone, just like how not every trans girl is meant to be a programmer (sorry if I crushed your dreams).

Why did you create this blog?

Simply put, the disturbing amount of forced feminization, BDSM, and sissy blogs overflowing this site motivated me to do something different. Although few of these blogs have at least something redeeming to the point where I may reblog it and attach a description, the vast majority repels me due to its negative, humiliating energy. Unfortunately, caption blogs focused on the experiences of trans girls are either inactive or overshadowed. Lastly, I wanted to share a few personal experiences of exploring my identity through captions and post descriptions. 

Where do you get your sources?

I get them through Google searches, social sites, and of course, other blogs from this site. Captions and descriptions are also based on what I learned, read, and heard through trans girls both online and IRL.

When do you usually post?

I post almost daily, or when I’m in the mood. I often reblog from other sources, but it is becoming a rare instance. Thursdays and Fridays are throwback and flashback posts recalling my own experiences or to jog the reader’s memory of seeing a familiar picture. I even point out the original pic source for trivia, or how the pic influenced me in making the captioned pic.

How will this help?

It is meant to affirm and validate any person who often deals with denial about being transgender. Although some of these captions seem a little teasing and may be seen as a fetish, everything is voluntary. However, NEVER use captions to treat gender dysphoria! Seek professional help if you are dealing with it! Also, please research the effects of HRT pills (hormone replacement therapy) as the changes may be permanent depending on the individual. They are not like Senzu Beans that will inflate you if taking more than needed. You WILL get actual and unpleasant side effects if abused.

Can you do any requests?

I’m sorry, but I rarely have the time to check back my blog or messages anymore. If I don’t read your message for some reason, don’t take it as an offense. I’m simply quite reserved and busy IRL. It could take time before I check back. Also, no, I will not take your request to “feminize” you! Fake “mistresses, doms, godesses, and daddies” are also out of the question! I had an awful intro experience online role-playing with them and I am never doing that again!

I’m a “sissy”, femboy, crossdresser (CD), etc. Am I welcome here?

I won’t place a ban on you if you are a sissy, a femboy, or a crossdresser as I have to acknowledge a good portion of my followers are of that category. However, I do not associate myself with the term “sissy” as I take it as a derogatory word used to invalidate someone’s gender identity. If you’re looking for “sissy” or “forced fem” stuff in this blog, don’t bother. You will dehydrate as fast as SpongeBob and Patrick on Sandy’s treedome.

Last: A little bit about you?

I’m a trans girl in her very early 30s who has an internal female side that I want to express. There are days I feel feminine and there are days I feel fluid with my gender. While I’m not completely out yet due to personal and social issues, I know I will finally be my own self once the chance comes. My primary interests are girls, though I may be interested in other feminine-leaning individuals in an occasion. While I won’t reveal my actual age, I am one of the older cuspers born between millennial and Gen Z. Favorite things include, but not limited to, anime, games, pop culture, and social media. You will catch some references through my caption posts.

I hope this Q&A solved most of your questions and doubts. Enjoy your stay here. You’ll probably find something you like. Thank you.

-Ashley “Nicki” Nicole

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

It's ya boi, Nobody again with the worldbuilding questions because I'm so Normal About This Story. So Normal. Believe Me. I love learning more about this world and just daydreaming wtf Syzygy Thomas + Sides are doin'. I may be a day or two early but uh… shush up. A-hem

I wanna continue the herb/flavor rabbit hole from last week. Is there any possible way for your lovely fans to take a sneak peek of any of the Lore Doc with the flavors/asspcoations, for my self ingulants (totally understandable if not) Love that Rice would give a binding sort of effect because I used it alot to glue stuff for homework. Does the ingrediant all have positive connotations? I noticed theres "For Heart, For Soul, For [calming] Anxiety" kind of effects so i'm wondering if there's a bad side of this magic, what does it mean to eat too much nutmeg (or anything)?? How does that hurt you? Is it because Patton's a Hollow?? Why did he become loopy??? (Love that during the epilouge that Thomas smells poppy seed muffins.) This, I assume, that any stage of the ingredient sticks to its effect, like eating a poppy flower vs. it's seeds (or SOMETHING LIKE THAT. LMAO, IMAGINE STUFFING A FLOWER IN YOUR MOUTH)

another quick question, Is vegetables also a thing in Syzygy, they are grown, (Logan did use it in that one chapter but it's solely for taste, iirc…) (Totally not jumping around in my own thoughts but, anything could be a weapon if you're creative enough :D)

sure, let's pull out that google doc! be aware that some of this might contradict stuff that ended up in the posted chapters, because towards the end I wasn't really checking back at the planning doc so much. Most of these notes were made on a case-by-case basis, e.g., i'd write something in the narrative like 'carrots are for a steady heart!' and then jot it down in here so I didn't contradict myself later on.

(i think that last bit was len's contribution, it doesn't feel like something i wrote. still very good though)

Too much nutmeg being bad for you is because... in real life, eating too much nutmeg is very bad for you. If you eat more than 120mg a day, you start to suffer some seriously bad side effects - including hallucinations, and drowsiness, hence Janus's comment to Patton. This isn't a magic thing, it's just a biology thing. Please don't eat too much nutmeg!

But quite aside from that, I do think that, yes, having too much of any magically-based food can be bad for you - in the sense that too much of anything is a bad thing. Too much poppy seeds and joy crosses over into elation, too much mint and you have way too much awareness to the point where you're anxious and paranoid. Rotten or corrupted food, on the other hand, produces the exact opposite of whatever effect it was meant to have - or rather a severe draining absence of it. Rotten carrots will give you arrythmia.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

Hi! 10kDays has had a vice grip on my psyche for the last week or so, and I'm really excited to play the preview. However, I don't wanna make anyone else in my group GM this game just because I want to play it, so I'd like to try out the GMless mode of play, and so would they, but none of us have any experience with that style of game.

Is there any game you'd recommend we look at for a general picture of how you intend GMless play to work? I do own Ironsworn, which has a GMless mode, so if that jives with what you're intending that would be really convenient lmao.

Thanks for your time!

So there's a couple of thoughts i have here, starting with the shape of the game and the pieces of it that need different kinds and amounts of attention:

The game itself is kind of designed in three strands: courses, combat, and the Face game.

Courses are an adaptation of the Arc/quest mechanic from Jenna Moran's Glitch. I've found that they reduce the GM load hugely, for two reasons: you can roll up half an hour before game, ask "who wants to be in the spotlight, what does your quest say is happening in your life right now, and what needs to happen?", and drop something in. Connections and debts are also designed to give you improv prompts, and to a slightly lesser extent perspectives. The other benefit of Courses is that they move planning burden from "GM, night before game" to "player, whenever they want to think about their blorbo". So on a large-scale, "figure out what the campaign looks like" view, you can get away with improvising every session and just following your own character arcs. Likewise, the District moves and intentions are intended to give GMs an easy "i don't know what to do next" button, and the focuses of mask/gear/bell are intended to share around the responsibilities of worldbuilding. Ironsworn's oracles are another example of how to help outsource some of that decision-making, and it's the reason Appendix Yi is earmarked to be a million random tables. For more information on how oracles work, please google Jay Dragon's Sleepaway on your work computer (or at least read this Twitter thread from NightlingBug).

There are a couple story structures that are well suited to wuxia and this game. There's the Shaolin Soccer/shadowrunner/classic ttrpg setup where you are clearly a team, and there are enemy teams, and you are doing hijinks against them. But there's also a Jin Yong wuxia epic type thing where you have, let's say three or four PCs, and you're maybe nominally on the same side but you're clashing a lot and you're tied together by sworn and blood kinship and you keep running into each other. I think the most pared-down version of 10kdays you could run and still call it a full game is 3 players, characters living sort of far apart so they rarely run into each other, and interactions are 2 of the PCs clashing at a time while the 3rd player picks up any NPCs, throws in some District moves, etc. You could do a 2-player game but the kinds of interactions you could have would be severely limited, I think. The Face game of politicking and building support structures is kind of just... you two, face to face.

Now the problem on everyone's mind is fighting. It's attention-intensive, everyone's interested in it, and depending on your setup there can be loads of combatants that a GM would normally be expected to pilot. Again, there are a couple of scaffolds for trying to do this GMless. The sample Techniques in Appendix Jia come with combat tactics to make use of them, so any player can pick up an NPC combatant and figure out what they're going to do. Fight choreographing like this runs the pitfall of it feeling sort of bad to hurt your friends effectively, at least for some tables, but there is the incentive of hitting your friend's Bite highlight when you grab the corpo thug and bite them in the ass.

It is one of my mid-to-low priorities to create like algorithm type protocols for enemy fighters to run themselves, though that's still in the pipe dream phase. One thing I'm looking at here is Katabasis by Rathayibacter, which has a super cool system for easily lining up combatant actions, enemy or not). Maybe I'll end up with literal combat loop Turing machines or something.

There's one more option here which is to lean the other way -- to foreground the GM themselves being a player. I'm talking Ryuutama dragons, I'm talking Fellowship Overlords. Obviously I one hundred percent have not added this yet, and I'm not even set that I will, but it's definitely a tool I'm thinking of to help manage the wuxia/cyberpunk/other bullshit genre merger. If you went this way, it would look like picking a district -- secret note, each district is built to amplify a genre. Gongshan is made to focus on wuxia/the bell, Jiaotou is made to focus on cyber/the gear, Youzhou is made to focus on punk/the mask, Jingcai Xin is made to focus on court and courtroom politics, and Yuanhai is made to play Nezha Reborn. Pick a district that corresponds to the genre the GM is playing as, turn those Moves into Heroic/Humbling Moves and the landmarks/NPCs into Treasures and Connections, turn the Intentions into Skills. Now you can combine this with what I first talked about, sharing out cognitive load, and focus on playing as a district/genre. Is that meaningfully different from being a GM, who let's recall still counts as a player at the table? I'm a sicko who loves being a GM so I'm unqualified to comment, but try out any combination of these options and see how they take you.

[doveshovel]

anon is right, more hunter lore.

he's very fun. love your ideas.

Do you mind if I ask what goes on regarding all the magic stuff? Is he Aideen-adjacent or just kind of vibing? Somewhere in-between? I know there's some drama going on with Sabine 🤔

I wasn't expecting my guy to get this much attention, thank you guys!

Going to be completely honest here: I'm a very new player who only really started playing SSO in January of this year, and took about a month's break from the main quests in March. As a result, I've almost definitely forgotten a lot of important lore surrounding Aideen/soul rider magic, and don't have many of the magical shenanigans in Hunter's story fully thought out :'))

But! It has definitely been on my mind. Hunter's specific role among the soul riders + his relationship with the different circles of magic are works in progress so here's what I've been working with so far!

(Content warning for some (pink) blood in image!)

Lately, I've been messing with the idea (just for fun) that Hunter's a conduit for Aideen, rather than a descendant or reincarnation. He has almost no magical power of his own, and relies pretty much entirely on the whims of an incorporeal, deity-like being to perform any kind of soul rider magic. Essentially, he gets partially possessed every now and again when what remains of Aideen's soul decides that it would be beneficial to the fate of Jorvik and/or its inhabitants. During this "possession", Hunter functions as a point at which her soul (which I think was supposed to be scattered among the horses, people, and nature of Jorvik? correct me if I'm wrong. Hunter's lore google doc is in dire need of revision and organization anyways) can condense enough to produce magic from any of the four circles, and create the illusion that he's the mystical fifth soul rider.

Other bits of this idea from the google doc:

The four runestones in Valedale respond to a concentrated "presence" of Aideen, rather than to Hunter himself.

He's aware of this. Aideen's not of this world in cannon (emerged from a falling star), and practically dissolved into the entire island of Jorvik. Containing even a fraction of her soul in a human body is a jarring experience that can cause a lot of issues for the "host" ranging from minor side effects (cold sweating, shortness of breath, dizziness, headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, mild nausea, etc.) to more severe (short memory gaps, nosebleeds, migraines, loss of consciousness, insomnia, severe nausea, visual disturbances and/or hallucinations, auditory disturbances and/or hallucinations, etc.).

Maybe losing so much of his memory and original personality in the process of getting to Jorvik counts as losing part of a soul? So it creates a kind of "empty space" that Aideen's own soul is able to fill whenever she so chooses, and that's why Hunter works as a conduit/vessel, rather than a reincarnation. Idk. May have to workshop this.

The soul riders, valiant reincarnations of previous soul riders. +This one guy who has a weird thing with the local deity

Hunter and Aideen have a similar relationship to roommates who butt heads frequently but have no intention of leaving to seek a better roommate. but in Hunter's brain/soul/body. Bodymates. Soulmates (derogatory) (not romantic) (not platonic either). Symbiotic relationship. Both parties benefit and Hunter recognizes the necessity of it for saving Jorvik but he's still having a very bad no good time with the side effects, and he's still mad at her for letting him die.

This is the idea that I like working with the most so far, but I'll update y'all if there's something better in the works! :^D

As for Sabine: I was in a weird headspace while making that little comic of Hunter and Sabine up in Dinosaur Valley. At the time, it was just intended to be the end of Hunter's story. He'd be a spooky character who haunts the forest up in the valley as a ghost and that's that. Maybe the world's doomed by Garnok now, maybe the keepers find someone to replace him. Hunter doesn't know, he's dead on a mountainside and doomed to spend eternity wandering in search of an escape from Sabine.

A couple weeks after making that scene, I decided I didn't want that to be the end of his story. Just because it's kind of sad :( As much as I delight in making Hunter's wildly out of place string of crimes for a backstory, and making him experience endless horrors, Star Stable's very much a happy game for me. It's something I couldn't afford as a 10 year old but desperately wanted, and bought for myself with adult money a decade later to live out some old horseboy dream with beloved pixel horsies. :) To end my first (and so far only) player character's story there feels like a disservice, so I've got that scenario tucked away as a sort of AU/alternate timeline thing. It's still very fun to draw and think about because I love giving characters horrors to experience, but I want him to keep going on horse adventures in Jorvik :D

I decided that he does in fact die there in the Hidden Valley though. Not many people can survive that kind of thing after all. Aideen, however, decides she doesn't want to lose her vessel just yet, and Hunter's resurrected through a combination of the power of horsies and friendship Aideen's connection to the star circle and WizardEgg's (Starter horse) Starbreed magics. Magical resurrection results in the ability to channel more of Aideen's magic, but also the worsening of side effects, and a glowing star-shaped scar on his forehead that appears when using said magic.

^Old doodle from when I was playing around with negative side effects of magic :)

The whole scene creates a point of tension between he and Aideen. Hunter thinks Aideen could have done more to prevent it, and isn't particularly fond of the new, worsened magical side effects. Aideen isn't mortal and so doesn't think the way mortals do. She sees her vessel as having gained more power, and knows he'll come to understand the value of that power in the future. She's right, but he's still going to be mad about it.

As for Sabine? Hunter's still scared of her! Her and all the dark riders! They're spooky 👻 and he's a bit of a coward! Hunter lost a lot of his nerve/confidence with his memories during the boating incident, along with coordination and a couple other odds and ends.

[cursedalthoughts]

Priority Research 7 Predictions - Ironblood

Screw it. Time to speculate who the mandatory Ironblood PR is going to be.

As always, these are just the possible options, alongside speculation about their rarity - either PR (Priority Research/SSR) or DR (Decivise Research/UR), and maybe some vague idea about what their skills could be in Azur Lane.

The Ironblood have, perhaps unsurprisingly, a lot of options; just like the Northern Parliament.

KMS Mecklenburg

Fuck it. Let's start strong.

Mecklenburg is, essentially, a battlecruiser. She shares her hull with both Preussen and Großer Kurfürst, however, the main difference with both of those ships (Preussen having eight 457mm guns and G.K having twelve 406mm or 420mm guns (depending on your setup)), is that Mecklenburg has sixteen 305mm guns. With a 26 second reload. And an anomalously high (for a German battleship) main gun accuracy.

This thing is a ludicrously effective cruiser hunter. She has fast shells with an almost pin-point accuracy.

Mecklenburg also has two quadruple torpedo launchers, one per side, on top of the standard highly efficient secondary gun layout comprising of 128mm gun turrets that enjoy German 1/4 HE penetration rules. Oh, also, she's faster than both Preussen and G.K (both doing 30 knots), at a top speed of 32.5 knots.

Yeah, Mecklenburg is easy DR material.

KMS Schröder

Schröder is a personal favorite of mine. You can think of her as a "mini-Prinz Rupprecht".

As a supercruiser, Schröder has eight 305mm main guns in dual turrets. She has no torpedo armament to speak of. Her gimmick(s) lay on the fact that Schröder is one of the best secondary gun cruisers in the game, rivaling both Napoli and Michelangelo (which We'll Get To in the Sardegnan post). A total of 5 dual 128mm gun turrets per side as well as a total of 3 triple 150mm gun turrets (the same ones Nürnberg has in total), and a maximum range of 12km; Schröder has very fun secondary guns.

On top of that, she gets access to a very high base speed of 32.5 knots and a speed boost consumable that boosts her speed by 15% for 3 minutes. Schröder is great at flanking as she can relocate from one side of the map to the other in a relatively short time.

Honestly, she works as either a PR or a DR; but I would prefer her being a DR.

KMS Manfred von Richthofen and KMS Max Immelmann

I'm putting them together as equally likely DR candidates for a simple reason: the only thing that differs is their air complement.

To simplify Richthofen; she's a bigger August von Parseval. Both are carrier conversions of the H-39 battleship design (so, Friederich der Große sisterships).

Max Immelmann only has access to torpedo bombers and skip bombers - the same kind of bombers found on the Soviet aircraft carrier line (so, Chkalov).

Richthofen is a standard research ship and Immelmann is a premium ship. Immelmann was over-hyped by the community as a much superior carrier to Richthofen (the entire tech tree line of German CVs is impressively bad), but she's mediocre at best. Honestly, the funniest thing you can do with both carriers is a full secondary gun build; but Graf Zeppelin is much better at that at Tier 8 than these two at Tier 10.

However, Azur Lane has a track record of taking mediocre-at-best warships and turning them into very good PRs; so if any of the two gets chosen, I have hopes.

KMS Z42

From my cursory two-minute-long Google search, it seems Z42 in this configuration was never planned - or that there was never a Z42 to begin with, I can't find concrete info on that (again, after looking at it for two minutes. I'm sure there is actual info somewhere).

Z42 is a surprisingly good little ship. Her torpedoes are rubbish, but they're not the star of the show. Z42 utilizes German 105mm secondary guns as her main guns - here they are on the sides of Bismarck:

These funny little guns share the standard German 1/4 penetration rules for their HE, meaning that despite the smaller caliber they deal a considerable amount of damage. On top of that, they get access to AP; a thing that doesn't exist when they're in secondary gun form, and this AP does very funny damage against anything broadside.

She's PR material, just like Felix Schultz, but she could be a very good mini-Roon in terms of gameplay and abilities in Azur Lane.

KMS Wiesbaden

To me, this is the 'fuck it we ball' option. Wiesbaden is still in testing, she isn't in the game yet; but I believe she might release very soon.

Wiesbaden is a T8 light cruiser equipped with 6 dual 128mm gun turrets. That's right, she's a German Atlanta!

While Atlanta and Flint have a 4.8 second and 5.1 second reload respectively, Wiesbaden "enjoys" a 6 second reload on her main guns. However, that is compensated greatly by the fact that as all other HE guns from Germany, she has - you guessed it - 1/4 pen on HE shells, as well as six torpedo tubes per side with an 8.5km range. Oh, and a smoke screen generator. Like a destroyer.

Undoubtedly, Wiesbaden would be a PR in rarity.

KMS Preussen

Finally, the Roon-to-Hindenburg analogue of Friederich der Große. Preussen is an enlarged Friederich der Große, a made-up modification of the H-42 design with 457mm main guns. The real H-42 design isn't present in World of Warships; however, H-43 is the Superbattleship Hannover. But that's besides the point.

Preussen is a bigger FdG, so why her? We already have FdG and she's already a DR. This option is more based on vibes than anything else, as Hindenburg is a bigger, better Roon. Preussen could be the same: imagine a battleship that can equip two main guns instead of just one. Also, it's been a few years since PR2. PR7 is as far away from PR2 as PR6 was from PR1, and Roon was a PR1 shipgirl.

I don't know. She's more of a random guess. G.K is more likely, but I'd prefer Mecklenburg over G.K personally.

[sirfrogsworth]

So I followed Sabine Hossenfelder a few weeks ago thinking, "Here is a cool science lady" and then out of nowhere she releases a video on trans people where she is all, "Trans people are crazy and I'm normal!" and then dubiously interprets trans studies for 20 minutes. Then, while claiming she is the levelheaded centrist only seeking objective scientific facts, she references Jesse Signal, a bad faith anti-trans "journalist", as a scientific source.

I also hate this notion that the only metric for the success of gender affirming care is a decrease in depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Those are certainly goals. But...I mean, life is tough out here even if you aren't transgender. You can feel you've had a positive outcome with your transition and still struggle with mental health. I think that is clear by the low regret rate. And even when people are able to tackle their gender dysphoria via transition, we cannot discount the effects of poor societal acceptance. Not to mention the cruel legislative onslaught currently underway.

It's like, "Yay! I'm finally who I'm meant to be!"

But also, "Ack, these transphobic dipshits are trying to kill me!"

No other treatment is held to the standard of creating shiny happy people at a 100% success rate.

And yes, drugs sometimes have side effects. All drugs. Even over-the-counter drugs like Tylenol. There is no medical treatment without risks. And if we banned every treatment that had the possibility of a bad outcome, we would have literally no medications at all. She was very serious about all the bad things that can happen with blockers and hormone therapy but didn't mention how uncommon those risks are. She didn't mention that bone density is closely monitored. And the risk of heart trouble she mentioned was for older patients getting treatment for prostate issues.

Which makes me wonder why in the world she did not at least consult an actual trans person? Or even a doctor that provides gender affirming care? She just googled everything and interpreted the data with her physics brain and didn't even think to run her interpretations by people with actual expertise.

I'm not even sure a purely scientific analysis of trans issues is possible due to so many variables not being quantifiable. You can't just toss out the politics and focus on the science. The politics are a huge part of transgender existence right now.

And I don't even know what to say about her giving credence to the "social contagion" theory. Her only evidence was a theory concocted by a single person. No studies. No peer review. When I was in high school, none of us knew anything about being queer aside from the existence of gay people. We'd never even heard the words transgender or nonbinary. And even my friends who were gay didn't even consider that as a possibility until they went to college. There just wasn't any information available to teenagers. All they knew was that something was different and they had no resources to help them figure out what that different feeling was.

Teens are not being infected by a social contagion, they just have better access to information. They can also find more support and acceptance in online communities. Not to mention any competent gender affirming care program will do extensive evaluations to rule out things like peer pressure or someone seeking attention. Contrary to conservative belief, they don't just throw hormones and puberty blockers at everyone during their first appointment.

She quickly discounted the left handed analogy because some gender affirming treatments have lasting effects. Which didn't make much sense to me. All that analogy is meant to explain is that teens are more comfortable with queer introspection and feel less pressure to repress said queerness. The huge increase in queer teens matches almost perfectly with the dawn of the information age.

She also said that biological sex is "simple" (it is not) and then handwaved the existence of intersex people as "rare." First, I think the number of intersex folks is undercounted, but also, they are just as prevalent as people with red hair. When there are 8 billion people on the planet, even small percentages add up to a lot of people.

It was just a mess of a video.

I am disappointed in what I thought was a cool science lady.