#and since theyve been in a relationship for a few years now theyre both taking the others colors rather than just June taking Basils

[bluejaybytes]

Her ass is NOT beating the bnuuy allegations!

[quodekash]

I was just now thinking my thoughts in my brain, not bothering anyone, when ALL OF A SUDDEN I thought of tinngun masquerade ball au and now I’m obsessed and it’s been literally two minutes

NO BUT SERIOUSLY

WHAT IF THEYRE ALREADY ENEMIES AT THIS POINT

BUT THEN AT THE BALL THEY DONT RECOGNISE EACH OTHER, AND THEY DANCE WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEYRE BOTH LIKE 'DAMN'

AND MAYBE THEY EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER AND THERE'S LIKE A FALLING-IN-LOVE-IN-THE-FIRST-INTERACTION KINDA SCENARIO GOING ON

AND THEY BOTH THINK THE OTHER VOICE IS VAGUELY RECOGNISABLE BUT THEYRE TOO CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT TO FIGURE IT OUT

ORRRR MAYBE ITS BEEN YEARS SINCE THEY LAST SAW EACH OTHER AND THATS WHY THEY DONT NOTICE THE VOICES

AND FROM THERE THEY COULD EITHER

A) PART WAYS AND NOT REALISE UNTIL THEYVE GONE THROUGH THE WHOLE ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS PLOTLINE THAT 'oh he was the one i was dancing with' when they have a nice little bonding session (probably by a pool)

or b) one of their masks comes off for some reason, and they realise, and then they feel betrayed/angry but with an underlying hint of 'maybe hes not so bad' and from there their relationship is never the same. and maybe they either dont interact for like months after that and they have a patpran-episode-1 moment, or they happen to see each other like all the time after that and there's still the biting hatred when theyre around others but its vaguely awkward, and when theyre alone they're kinda okay with each other (like them in canon for the first few episodes where they dont quite hate each other but gun is still certain tinn is trying to sabotage chinzhilla)

and if its the second option, there's SO MANY WAYS IT COULD GO

maybe they lean in to kiss each other but gun's mask bonks against tinn's and it doesnt quite work so tinn reaches to lift the mask up and then tinn notices gun's face and they jump away from each other

maybe tinn compliments gun's eyes (bc, let's face it, he has rly pretty eyes) and gun's like 'but you can barely see them' so he takes off his mask (maybe not exactly that cos that line sounds kinda weird but you get what i mean)

maybe gun compliments tinn's eyes (bc, let's face it, he has rly pretty eyes) and tinn's like 'but you can barely see them' so he takes off his mask (maybe not exactly that cos that line sounds kinda weird but you get what i mean)

maybe someone bumps into one of them while they're dancing and their mask isnt super secure so it comes off

THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS

NOT TO MENTION THE POTENTIAL FOR SOUNDWIN AND TIWPOR AND PATJORN

maybe tiw comes up to tinn while tinngun are being all sweet and tiw has this huge grin on his face and his hair is all messy and his mask isnt on (bc hint hint nudge nudge he was making out with someone (and hint hint nudge nudge that someone was por)) and gun recognises tiw and thereby recognises why he knows the other guy's voice, realises its tinn, and badabing badaboom conflict and the rest of the story

maybe chinzhilla are sticking together but slowly, one by one, they all taper off to other friends (or to makeout partners lmao), until it's just soundwin left and they kinda awkwardly stand there for a sec until win offers his hand to sound and very cheesily and dramatically asks 'can i have this dance?' and sound avoids eye contact at first and looks around the room and deflects the question, but win has this teasing smile on this face and moves his hand closer and does that thing with his eyebrows and stares directly at sound, and sound makes the mistake of looking back at him and then he rolls his eyes and takes his hand and they dance together but sound is exhausted cos hes had a lot going on recently with acting and stuff and the song changes to one of those super slow dancing ones, and sound can't really stay standing bc hes so tired so he closes his eyes and win lets him lean his head on his shoulder and they wrap their arms around each other and win sways slowly to the music while win is leaning on him (and so what if im crying while creating this image in my mind's eye) and maybe win is just so relaxed and comfortable that he rests his head on sounds and he closes his eyes (and he's not super close to falling asleep so they dont fall down altho that would be incredibly entertaining)

and even tho i dont rly want this i want a soundwin plotline in this hypothetical au so maybe someone else at the ball (probably a fan of sound's) sees them and (if its set in modern times) takes a photo of them or (if set in a period time) tells a bunch of other people and points them out (and the modern times person would also probably do that) but either way the message goes around and people are freaking out and it might like take a toll on their mental health and they might hide or have to cut off a lot of communication for safety bc sasaengs are the worst and they have a very puentalay-in-their-universe-in-ep12-esque plotline

and when the chinzhilla members slowly leave one by one, i think pat would initially leave to go get food or something and maybe he runs into jorn at the food table and they could have an argument or something

or maybe pat leaves to go get food and he runs into jorn at the food table but neither recognises each other at first and they have a moment similar to tinngun where they like low-key fall for each other without knowing what each others' faces look like

or maybe (extending from either of those two scenarios) they ask each other what people they came with, and pat sees jorn point to two guys standing in like the middle of the room dancing together (tinngun) and to two guys in the corner of the room either making out or very clearly close to making out (tiwpor), and then jorn asks who pat came with, and pat looks around and (being pat), can't find/recognise any of them until finally his eyes land on soundwin and he realises 'oh im all alone shoot dang it' and is rly close to a mental breakdown, but then jorn (who is also Bored And Alone) offers to dance with pat and at first hes caught off-guard but then he agrees and they dance and frbhghr

or maybe pat leaves to go get food and then he comes back to find everyone gone except for soundwin who are staring at each other lovingly and dancing, so he feels really lonely and runs to the bathroom and he runs into jorn (either on his way there, in the bathroom, or on his way out), and jorn comforts him or whatever

or maybe pat leaves to go to the bathroom and then he comes back to find everyone gone except for soundwin who are staring at each other lovingly and dancing, so he feels really lonely and runs to the bathroom so he goes to the food table to eat his feelings away (which feels like something he'd do), and jorn comforts him or whatever

and maybe the comforting in those last two scenarios is them dancing together and grbghrbh

and i can think of a million ways this would branch out into an actual plot but i have too many ideas to keep it as a fixed storyline and this is already so long im probably boring everyone, im so sorry but also im not because HOLY HELL MSP MASQUERADE BALL AU

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

@taiqrowweek

SINCE ALL THE FICS ARE SAD im going to go ahead and make a happy one. (Well... its bullet notes so maybe more of a fic outline?). Can be consider as Free Day or AU Day since its canon divergence

Ive been dying to see a Tai comes to Atlas fic so im making this one a reunion in Atlas fic

Qrow isnt in Atlas when Tai arrives. Hes out on a Amity Tower mission with Clover

Qrow and Clover are actually in the middle of flirting with each other when Qrow gets the call

Its Ruby and shes talking so fast Qrow cant understand a single thing. "Woah Ruby slow down. Whats going on" theres a deep gasping breath and then "DAD IS HERE. DAD IS IN ATLAS"

Qrow is stunned. Tai made it to Atlas?

Clover is thinking about how on Earth he could of gotten into the Kingdom.

Qrow finds out through Yang (she had to take Ruby's phone away since she wouldnt stop screaming) that the girls are waiting for Tai since Ironwood is having Winter personally escort him (Qrow figures that either he got arrested on arrival like they did or that Ironwood wants to know everything Tai knows about Salem despite being removed from the situation since STRQ fell apart)

Clover notifies him that they wont be able to get back to the city for another three hours, and then Qrow tells the girls, who are disappointed but tell him theyll "let Dad know when he gets here"

Most of the way back Clover is trying to get information out of Qrow about what Tai is like. Its both friendly small talk and adding to what Clover knows about this group of children + Qrow. The group is part of Ironwood's inner circle now which makes them important

Qrow briefly wonders how his reception will be. These days hes always the one coming to see Tai, and its 50-50 on if Tai's happy to see Qrow. Qrow considers running away from the encounter entirely but hes trying to be a better man now and that means sobriety and facing his problems. Besides he'll have to see Tai eventually

So lets backtrack a bit. Tai and Qrow used to be a thing wayyyy back in the day. Defining their romantic relationship is complicated. They tried dating before Tai ever got with Raven and it only lasted a few days because they realized the attraction was just sexual so they went back to being teammates who makeout when theyre drunk (thats how they decided to start dating in the first place). So through the early years they were Friends With Benefits. After the dark years of Raven and Summer they became Friends With Benefits That Only Get Together When Theyre Feeling Heartbroken. Its sad sex and half the time one of them is crying. Their friendship is good while the the girls are young. They disagree on a lot of things when it comes to the girls as they get older. That animosity plus arguments about Qrow's  espionage job plus Qrow's worsening alcoholism are the reason theyve drifted far apart today. Theyve still been through so much together so that history and Qrow's dedication to being a uncle are the only things holding their friendship together.

So anyways lets get to the good stuff. The reunion:

Tai is actually waiting for Qrow at the garage

The girls are with him because they missed him. Ruby has her arms around him while talking and Yang is standing besides them smiling

Qrow gets a little scared. The fact Tai is waiting for him doesnt bode well. Him and Tai try to have their disagreements when the girls arent present. Qrow thinks its fair to assume that Tai is so absolutely pissed at him that he cannot wait another moment to yell at him. Clover goes "i guess you wont have to hunt him down after all. He mustve really missed you all" and Qrow really hopes thats the reason

Qrow decides to break the ice before it forms by insulting Tai as he's getting out of the truck

"Two and a half continents away and i still cant escape the sight that is your hideous cargo pants" "says the man who's idea of fashion is a 25 year old ripped cape"

As soon as Qrow gets close enough Tai puts his hands on his shoulders, takes a deep breath, and yells "YOU GOT POISONED"

Turns out Tai was just worried about him after Ruby explained what happened on her trek through Mistral

After answering his questions they hug and its the kind of hug where you sway a little bit

For the next few hours Tai yells at Ruby for running away, Tai yells at Qrow for going sober and not telling him, and Qrow goes with Tai to meet Ironwood (and stop Ironwood from asking too many questions. Hes actually soley focused on Salem and he doesnt even ask Tai how he got through his military blockade)

That night in Qrow's room Tai explains to Qrow how he got there. He lied to the girls. Made up some story that had plenty of holes in it. It was Raven. She opened her portal to Yang as far away as she could and Tai landed there. She had come to him after Haven, told him a few things but clearly left most of it out. Tai managed to get her to promise to take him to the group whenever they got to Atlas and had adjusted.

He came for two reasons. 1) to see exactly how close his children were to Salem. 2) to see if he could protect his kids any way he could, knowing they wouldnt back out now. But the reason he was telling Qrow all this (instead of sticking to his if-it-involved-Raven-i-dont-talk-about-it mentality) was because of one of the few things she mentioned about Haven: the disowning.

Tai wanted him to know that despite all their problems that Qrow was still his family. Not because Raven is still legally married to Tai, not because hes Yang's blood uncle, but because Qrow has been apart of Tai's life and chosen family as far back as STRQ.

Qrow's felt like a outsider to Tai ever since (and every time) things got serious with whoever Tai's dating. Qrow felt like a third wheel when Tai was with Raven, and Qrow was to raw from the increasingly strained relationship with Raven to let go of Summer and Tai when they got together. And ever since Qrow has felt like he was there in Tai's life but no longer apart of it. Even after Tai recovered from his depression, Qrow felt like a visitor in the house he still considers his home despite being called "uncle".

And Tai knows Qrow broke ties with Tribe soon after Beacon, and Raven hadnt truely been his sister in 20 years, but to have what you known from literal birth taken from you still hurt. And now Tai knows Qrow isnt drinking so the only way he can cope is by not thinking about it.

So Tai had to tell Qrow what he meant to him

And when he found out about Tyrian he realized Qrow couldve died not knowing Tai still loves him

Tai ends up ranting about all the things he loves about Qrow, about how he regrets that almost every word said to Qrow in the last 15 years has been unkind

Qrow is now confused to if this is a fixing my mistakes kind of thing or a love confession

So he asks

And Tai gets a little sheepish because it was a fixing my mistakes because i love you thing but a little past halfway into his rant he realized hes IN love with Qrow and has been for a while now

And Qrow decides f it. Tai is doing his embarrassed thing Qrow still finds cute even now when theyre middle aged adults getting their first gray hairs. So Qrow gets up from the cheap academy table theyre sitting at and kisses Tai

"After the world stops ending do you wanna try that dating thing again?" "You think we'll make it past one week this time?" "I actually meant since you havent gone on a date in about 15 years." "Oh. Well im pretty sure you havent been on a proper date since Beacon" "Are you gonna take me on a proper date then?" "Yeah"

[lollytea]

Is there any more Huelet headcanons? Or just how other characters see them?

im gonna make another real big huelet post when im in the mood so. stay tuned? for now i’ll just talk about how their respective families react to their kid’s crush/eventual partner. 

i imagine violet is just. extremely likeable to adults. shes just so polite and wellspoken and she brings homemade pies whenever she shows up. this is definitely the kind of stuff that wins donald over. i can imagine him calling vi “such a nice girl.” also hes just extremely excited about this development because huey is growing up so fast, thats his baby boy. don snaps a lot of pictures and still tries to be discreetly involved even when huey tells him to maybe give them some space. 

scrooge LOVES violet. not cuz shes polite or anything like that but cuz shes can FIGHT! like she was part of his army against the moonvaders when she was like 10-11, of course she’s got his approval. he feels like their relationship is a bit boring, could use some spice. but ah, its alright. whatever makes the lad happy. at the very least huey has stuck with the one girl so scrooge has no problems remembering her name. (AS OPPOSED TO HIS BASTARD BROTHERS WHO HAVE A NEW DATE EVERY FEW WEEKS AND HE IS TOO FUCKIN OLD FOR THIS HE CANT KEEP UP WITH THIS SHIT) 

i dont think della would dislike violet at all as she IS a really good match for her son. but she wouldnt be as easily won over as the rest of the family. first of all, della missed most of her boys growing up so the fact that theyre already starting to date makes her a little uneasy. it just feels so soon, theyre just kids. and secondly, no matter how nice violet seems, della hasnt known her long enough to determine for certain if she would hurt huey or not. so she’s nice to the girl but remains apprehensive. huey has begged her not to be embarrassing so shes doing her best not to. tho she does have a lot of one-on-one chats with violet, who gets more of an “interrogation” vibe from them. but once they actually do start dating, della has to admit that they are very sweet. 

dewey and louie love to tease their brother of course. huey developed a crush on her around the time when they were still young enough to find romance a hilarious and dumb concept. dewey is definitely louder and more obnoxious about it while louie mostly uses smug looks and snide comments. but theyve known violet a few years now so yeah, they like her. she kinda unsettles them sometimes with her occasionally morbid sense of humor and she likes to mess with them in her more mischievous moments. but they cant really tease her like they tease huey cuz theyre kinda afraid to. 

webby has never been more EXCITED in her life. violet told her about her interest in huey and she nearly hit the fuckin roof. thats her BEST FRIEND and her BROTHER and she LOVES THEM BOTH SO MUCH. OH MY GOD HER BEST FRIEND VIOLET COULD POSSIBLY MARRY INTO CLAN MCDUCK HOLY SHIT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS??? VIOLET COULD BE ON HER FAMILY TREE BOARD

launchpad ABSOLUTELY gives them both dating advice. he gives dating advice to anybody who asks. and hes very good at it. in fact, hes probably the person most sensitive to the two kids and not getting too much in their business like everyone else. i like to believe that he drives them to dates sometimes. huey asks for him personally cuz he usually stays out of the way and doesnt pry much. that, and violet loves launchpad 

we dont know a whole lot about tyrian and indigo but they seem like such sweethearts from the little we have seen of them. they’d like huey, i think. they remember his actions at the woodchuck challenge years ago and find him capable, honorable and sweet. and hes been violet’s friend for years now, of course she would know to pick a good boyfriend. whatever makes their baby happy yknow 

lena would be extremely protective i think. from what we’ve seen in the show, she has no problem chewing out the boys when she feels they’ve mistreated her webby. so im pretty sure she’d be kinda defensive when huey and violet start getting closer. thats her little sister who she would kill for. but at the same time, she knows huey. she knows hes relatively harmless. no upper body strength at all, pathetic! violet could kick his ass. but still, it takes her a while to decide if huey would treat her sister properly. for the time being, she likes to mildly bully him whenever he’s around. she has not stopped calling him a clown since the woodchuck challenge 

[yuikimura]

wattson x bloodhound tho

ive recently been struck by the adhd hyperfixation demon and now i cant stop thinking abt these two, either platonic or romantic

ok hear me out. i know. i know. hear me out. ive been working on this in between games so itll be a little all over the place probably but. bare with me

similarities: theyre both fairly respectful and friendly (blood more respectful, natalie more friendly), strategic, well known faces in the ring.

subtle but significant differences: while they are both polite and try their best to make sure their squad is safe and that they succeed, wattson is closer to the other legends than bloodhound is. bloodhound sees their relationships with the other legends as mostly professional, not growing close with anyone but not acting wholly cold or cruel towards any one specific person. wattson sees the other legends as her family. shes grown up with most of them. she’d do anything for them. she has a sort of ease around everyone that comes only from years of comfortable shared space. shes their little sister. bloodhound has that kind of relationship only with their raven (that we know of, anyway). even though they act comfortable to a degree, theres always a wall between them and everyone else.

what better person to bring them out of their shell a little than someone who makes friends with even the most unfriendly legends out there (im looking at you, caustic) ? someone who has a knack for disarming the roughest soldiers, someone who is exceptionally brilliant and able to best bloodhound (who has won 4 times in a row) in what was probably her debut. i mean, thats quite a way to get their attention.

if bloodhound did ever team up with her, theyd see all of these qualities of hers much more clearly. and even more clearly, just how different they are. shes surrounded by family, regardless of what squad shes on. bloodhound is more or less alone. wattson doesnt participate in the games for fame, fortune, glory, or testing her skills; she does it bc thats where the most important people in her life are. bloodhound? probably testing their skill. the only person we’ve seen them be close to is their raven.

i imagine since natalie defeated them rather effortlessly, theyd keep a close eye on her. she, too, would be thrilled that she defeated the infamous bloodhound, so popular their mask is sold as souvenirs. arguably the biggest threat on the field. i headcanon shes watched them a few times, while working on the ring, admiring their refined skill and their ability to stay calm and laser focused in the thick of battle.

ok thats enough for now i gotta go back to apex

edit: ok its the next day and i have time to finish what i was going to say with my last two paragraphs

back to the whole “what if they teamed up right after the season 2 trailer” when the roster for the next game arrives, bloodhound cant believe their luck. the legend who ended their winning streak is on their squad this time. theyve heard of her; the daughter of the games’ lead electrical engineer, shes the one who designed the ring. theyve seen her hovering around in between seasons, talking with some of the other legends. they didnt notice her all that much.

wattson, for her part, when she sees bloodhounds name next to her own in her squad, is both ecstatic and sheepish. she doesnt know how theyll respond, or if theyd hold a grudge against her. she doesnt think they would, as theyre always very fair and respectful with their team, whoever may be on it. but that doesnt completely calm her worries. on the other hand, she’ll finally get a chance to meet them for real. shes only ever seen them on the screen, in articles, and twice in the game (once in the airship, once when she took aim). she hasnt gotten a chance to talk to them, but shes dying to ask them all about their gear.

when they do meet up, wattson swallows her anxiety and, giving a brief yet polite greetings and introduction, dives into her curiosity. she (as gently as she can) bombards them with all sorts of inquiries, ranging from whether all that gear makes it difficult to move around in the arid climate, to specific details about their abilities, to what their ravens name is.

bloodhound is faintly bemused; they didnt expect this sort of reaction. they thought she would react like most other new legends do when they meet someone they previously defeated in the game (awkward. so awkward). after getting over their initial surprise, they chuckled lightly, interrupting her saying something about how many ravens they have. its one of the only times theyve laughed around other legends (even a small one).

wattson meekly apologizes, all at once realizing how overwhelmed they surely are from her questions. bloodhound finds themselves relaxing slightly after she takes it down a notch, occasionally answering a question or two, but more often than not remaining silent, not giving too many secrets away. and just like that, wattson befriends the intimidating legend of legends.

their poor third squadmate is left in the dust, their presence almost completely forgotten.

[angrylizardjacket]

when i said it i thought it was true [3] {Ben Hardy}

A/N: 2973 words. Fake Dating AU.

[part 1] [part 2]

Roger Taylor has barely spoken two words to you since the start of filming, and it’s caused you so much anxiety. Were you disappointing? Did you not look or act accurate enough? Sometimes you catch him watching you when you’re with Ben, the two of you in costume, and he just looks... pensive. 

Brian’s nice enough, soft spoken and always kind when he speaks to you, actually mentions that seeing you and Ben together makes him a bit nostalgic, and you’re not quite sure what to make of it. 

The day you see the real Amanda, the woman you’re playing, you feel like you’re about to pass out. It’s as if you’ve got a direct look into your future, she could be your mother, though her hair’s just a little lighter than yours, hence the wigs they keep putting you in. She’s incredibly beautiful for her age, but that’s not the most striking thing about her. She cries the first time she sees Rami in costume, and she doesn’t speak to Roger. 

The moment she meets you, she has to take almost a full minute, hand covering her mouth as she looks you over. It’s like a test, and all you can do is stand there awkwardly in full costume, watching as she tears up a little.

“What do you think?” Brian asks with a proud smile, and she lets out an incredulous laugh. “It’s a little uncanny, isn’t it?” Nodding, she approaches you, smiling brightly and greeting you warmly. 

“Feels like I’ve gone back in time.” She’s surprisingly soft spoken, and she tugs at your collar, straightening it, before she rests her hands on your shoulders. “I’m flattered they’ve got you playing me, dear.” She tells you, and you think you might cry.

She only stays on set for about a week, the week you’re filming on the Garden Lodge set. The two of you are talking before filming starts for the day, you’re trying to glean any information you can that would help bring depth to your character, and Ben joins you. It’s the first time she’s seen him in full costume, and when he presses a kiss to your temple in greeting, her voice dies in her throat. Ben looks confused, concerned as she has to excuse herself.

It keeps happening, something about seeing the two of you in costume, together and sweet, it’s something she can’t stomach. She can talk to Ben normally, even when in costume, but the moment you arrive, and he smiles at you like he does, she feels her heart in her throat.

“I loved Roger, perhaps to my detriment.” She admits, taking a long sip of wine. She’d invited you out to dinner with her before she has to fly back to her family. “And I know what they’re saying in the movie, but he never really loved me.”

When you go to Ben with this information, he’s quiet, before he admits that Roger told him that when they were younger, their relationship was far from the sanitised version that was being presented in the film. 

They’d been together for years, and there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that she loved him, and he took her for granted, always assumed she’d be there when he got back from trips and tours, he’d even proposed to her, and yet he’d do any pretty young girl while he was away because he knew he could get away with it. He’d cheated on her, and lied to her, and strung her along because it was easier than letting go. 

Roger Taylor can’t bring himself to speak to you; you’re the spitting image of his biggest fault. Perhaps the way they’ve got it in the movie is his attempt at an apology, not that she’d accept. 

Something about your relationship with Ben changes after that. It doesn’t feel like a performance, the way it used to, it feels more grounded. Neither of you are sure how to deal with the new information, but when the cast go out for dinner together, he’s got a hand on your knee under the table, and when you’re hanging out in his trailer between scenes, you let yourself fall asleep against him where you’re watching Netflix. The two of you go out with some of the others for the night, and he kisses you as you’re leaving the club together, his hands holding your face so softly, the kiss so surprisingly tender that you don’t even hear the click of the paparazzi’s camera from where they’re hiding around the corner of the building, and when you see the kiss on instagram the next day, you don’t think you care.

“Have you seen my nice, black blouse?” You called, elbow deep in a pile of clean washing on a Saturday morning.

“Which one?” Ben calls back from the shower, and you frown at the clothes before you; you really had meant to fold them sooner.

“The nice nice one, the one I wear for callbacks, you know the one I’m talking about.” And you move to rifle through the closet again, glaring at each piece of clothing as you flip past it.

“You sure it’s here?” The shower shuts off while you’re eyeing off a perfectly fine cream shirt that could serve as a decent replacement if you came to it. “Are you sure it’s not at your place?” He asks, stepping out of his adjoining bathroom wearing only a towel.

“No, I’m pretty sure I came back here after my last callback.” You mused, and you could hear him getting changed behind you as you tried to recall the last time you’d found yourself in the shirt in question.

“This would be easier if you just lived here.” He muses, letting the statement hang in the air. After a beat, you turn to look at him, brow creased as you considered his words. “If you want to, you can.” He offered, standing there in just a pair of jeans, his hair still damp. It might be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

“Are you serious?” Voice quietly hopeful, your expression brightens as he nods, grinning. Blouse forgotten, you cross the room in a few paces, throwing your arms around him. “Really really?”

“‘course I am.” He doesn’t tell you he loves you, but it’s there in the tone, in the way he kisses you, and it’s there when he spends the next twenty minutes helping you look for your shirt, though when you admit you don’t need it for a few days, he suggests breaking in the bed to fill the time.

“It’s the same bed.” You laugh as he flops back on it, coaxing you over.

“Yeah, but it’s ours.”

The wrap party for Bohemian Rhapsody is... a lot. It’s a bit overwhelming; you’re by Ben’s side and everyone wants to talk to him, congratulate him, and they want to talk to you, tell you how beautiful you look. Everyone is everywhere at all times, and the only constant is Ben. 

His arm is around your waist when the two of you are standing by the bar, he’s chatting to someone who’s name you’ve forgotten, though you’re pretty sure he’s the second assistant director or something, and you’re trying to communicate to the bartender what you want over the music, leaning over the bar. The moment the bartender finally nods in recognition and scurries off to get your drink, Ben turns, sees your eyes shining bright in the light of bar, and he forgets what he’s saying, just for a moment. The guy he’s talking to leaves, pulled away by someone in the crowd, and you turn, smiling brightly, confusion creasing your brow when you see Ben watching you.

“What?” The bar is in a terrible location, far too close to the band they’ve got set up, but Ben can read your lips well enough in the bar’s fluorescent lights. He shrugs, doesn’t even attempt to answer as the band, not ten feet away, blast their way through a guitar solo. They’re mostly playing classic rock, a few Queen songs here and there of course, and they’re not bad, they’re just loud. 

With your drink in one hand, you take his without thinking, weaving through the crowd, his fingers linked with yours. When you find the door to the courtyard, which is significantly quieter, you feel like you can breathe again. The air outside is cool, and you drop Ben’s hand now that you’re not likely to lose him in the crowd, and the two of you find seats to the side by a tall table. 

“You don’t have to stay with me all night.” You tell him, resting your head on your arms, watching as he lights up a cigarette. It was a filthy habit, but damn if it didn’t make him look a hot. Hotter. 

“I know that, dude,” he pauses, taking a draft and looking, watching all the people talking and laughing and bopping along to the music, “I like your company.” He says it easily but it still has you grinning, and when he catches sight, he grins in return.

He doesn’t leave your side. Not for the rest of the night. 

Photographs are being take all night, and when you look back on them, you see you and Ben sitting side by side, his arm around you as you lean into him, laughing, and he grins at something off camera. You see the cast together for a group shot, all smiling brightly, most a little tipsy, and you’re holding Ben’s hand, your linked fingers just visible in a gap between Allen and Lucy. You see the two of you in the background of a shot of Rami looking absolutely ecstatic; you’re fixing Ben’s hair, and he’s giving you such a soft, endeared look that you hadn’t noticed at the time. If you crop it enough to make it your phone background, you don’t feel the need to call attention to it; for reasons you can’t quite articulate, it makes your heart warm.

It’s strange, and the thing that terrifies you is that it doesn’t feel like acting. It’s that grey area you keep finding yourself in, where it feels so familiar, and it’s like swimming upstream to remember that it’s all fake. 

The two of you don’t even share a kiss, not even when you’re both tipsy, not even when you lean in to murmur something in his ear, and his answer brings his lips inches from yours. You want to kiss him, to forget that it’s all fake, but he sees you hesitate, and presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. Lips twisting in to a sad smile, you look out at the crowd of coworkers around you, dancing where the band had been replaced with a DJ, and you take another sip of your drink.

You’ve passed tipsy and dived straight into being drunk by the time you’re ready to head home, or well, back to your hotel room, but that required a taxi. Ben’s not much better off, and when you tug him into the back seat with you, he doesn’t argue. He’s the one who tells the driver the hotel they’ve got you all set up in, and you just lean against him, eyes fluttering closed, contentment filling you as he wraps his arm around you. 

“I don’t have any makeup wipes!” You gasp into the silence of the hotel elevator. It feels like the most natural thing in the world to head to his room, your arm tucked into his to keep you from swaying in place in the elevator. It might also be that Ben refused to let you be by yourself after you almost face planted getting out of the taxi.

“I’ve got some in case of emergencies.” He assured, fidgeting with his key card before the elevator comes to a stop.

“See, this is why I love you.” The words come so easily that neither of even catch at first as you make your way down the hall. Ben slows once your words have sunk in, and you both realise what you’d said. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry.” Voice quiet, there’s a sudden sinking sensation in your chest that dampens the whole night for you, but he doesn’t say anything, just opens the door and starts rummaging through his suitcase for the wipes once he’s inside. Once he tosses them to you, he follows it quickly with an oversized shirt to sleep in. 

There’s a solid five minute argument about who would sleep on the sofa, both of you trying to give the other one the bed. It takes you yanking a pillow from the bed, laying on the sofa and refusing to move for Ben to concede defeat. The sofa, however, is the single most uncomfortable piece of furniture you’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to sleep on. Sucking up your pride, you clutch the pillow to your chest as you make your way to the edge of the bed. He’s turned away from you, engrossed in his phone.

“Ben?” You ask, and he looks over his shoulder at you, eyebrows raised in question. “The sofa is really uncomfy.” You pouted. With a grin, he shifted, making room for you.

“Holy shit.” Ben looks like he’s just seen a ghost. The two of you are in a nice restaurant in the city, it’s not five stars or anything like that, actually it happened to be your favourite little hole-in-the-wall restaurant with surprisingly good food and excellent service, and you were treating yourselves to a night out before Ben had to step outside to take a call. You didn’t begrudge him, that’s just how life was for the two of you. “Holy shit.” He repeated, and you looked up from your meal with raised eyebrows. 

“What’s up?” You ask, and to see the smile spreading slowly over his face has your heart warming. When he meets your eyes, he’s beaming.

“I think I’m going to be in X-Men.” He said quietly, and your fork fell from your hand, clattering against your plate.

“Holy shit.” You echoed, and he laughed a little, taking your hand when you offered it to him, squeezing gently. 

The stars seem to shine a little brighter as Ben beams up at them, your hand in his as the two of you walk home. Sure, there’s paperwork, nondisclosure agreements, rehearsals, and a few months until filming actually begins, but Ben’s landed a role in a high-budget action movie, and you’ve never been prouder. 

He spends the next few weeks in countless meetings, almost constantly in and out of phone calls with his manager and various producers, and when he’s not filming with Eastenders, he was usually training. He’s barely home, though neither of you are home a lot, you’re busy with your own projects, but when you see each other, he’s elated. You haven’t seen him this excited or motivated about a project before. 

Sometimes you miss him. Of course you miss him, you love him after all, he’s your boyfriend and your housemate, and you tell him all of this over dinner and he looks like he wants to say something, like he wants to freeze this moment in time forever, to bottle it up if he could.  You’re so proud, and you love him so much, and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world to watch those two parts of you coming together over a microwave dinner.

In the weeks leading up to filming, things change, and you feel like you never see him anymore. It’s not like before, then you were just busy, now he’s all over the country, in meetings and fittings and workshops. He calls, but your bed is so empty and sometimes you just want to come home to him and he’s not there, and he won’t be home until the end of the week. Things are still good and bright when you see each other - he’s always eager to make up for lost time - and you never once doubt how much he cares about you, but you feel... out of sync. 

The two of you had fallen asleep not facing each other, but you wake with his arm draped across you, and it feels so familiar, so right, that it stings when you actually come to and realise where you are. 

It’s been years since you’d woken up next to him, and you’d forgotten how pretty he is in his sleep. Part of you thinks that’s a good thing, that if you start to remember now you might keep dwelling. Another part of you urges you to go back to sleep; pretend or not, you should savour this moment you’ve missed so dearly. That’s the part that wins.

You expect when you wake again, for him to already be up and moving, as far away from you as possible, but instead you hear a sleep-rough greeting in your ear, and feel his chest firm against your back, his arm still around you where you’ve tucked yourself against him.

It’s not pretend, it feels like history repeating itself, and so you let yourself forget it’s fake for the moment, lean into him just a little and give a sleepy greeting back. Your heart already aches knowing how lonely you’ll feel once either of you move.

“I forgot how nice you smell.” He murmured, and that’s when you feel your heart already beginning to break. Instead of letting yourself crumble, your link your fingers with his hand where it’s slung over your waist.

“I forgot how warm you are; you’re like a furnace.” And you hear him laugh at that as he leans into you too, and let yourself bask in the moment.

the rat pack: @hotspacedeacon @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @itssaje @d-r-e-a-m-catchme ​ @callumidiot @rockandrollandshit @bohorap @pietrorunsforme @sweetfierceimagines @itsjackothy @mhftrs @sherlockiantheatrenerd @softbenhardy @multifandomgirlrandomstuff @virtualsheepeat @smile-nine @i-padfootblack-things @deaconsroger @spookyfrances @holyurlbatman @your-idiotic-excellency

(crossed out means it wouldn’t tag; i’ll try again for the next part, lemme know if you wanna be tagged xx)

[arysafics]

Now I’m Addicted

Chapter Eight

Normally, Clarke really looks forward to getting away to the beach for a weekend, just her and Wells. This year, the thought makes her queasy.

Clarke had been partly relieved to move make home with Wells. Living in a hotel had kind of sucked, and living alone was even worse. She still doesn’t know if she made the right decision. But she promised him she’d try, so she’s going to try.

And yes, it’s Bellamy she really wants, and not Wells. But she can’t have Bellamy. Bellamy doesn’t want her, and Wells does. So maybe she’s settling for second best, but it’s better than being alone for the rest of her life.

Despite her best intentions, and the fact that she really is trying, she’s not ready to go away with Wells alone. She’s worried the trip will just magnify all the holes in their relationship, before they’ve had a chance to really fix them. She doesn’t want to cancel the trip completely, so she suggests inviting a few other people to join them. Wells agrees surprisingly easily. Actually, he’s been very accommodating the past couple of weeks, almost like he’s walking on eggshells around her, afraid she’ll up and run again. But the truth is he doesn’t really have anything to worry about. Now that Clarke knows she has no shot with Bellamy, she has no reason to leave him. She wishes there was some way to prove that to him, so they can get start getting back to normal.

The beach house is huge, and Clarke thinks it’s probably worth a hell of a lot of money if Wells ever decides to sell it. Thelonius Jaha had left most of his money to charity when he died, but he left Wells the beach house. Not to sound selfish, but if Clarke’s mom does that, she’s going to be super pissed.

Clarke invites Octavia and Raven, and they both decide they’re bringing their partners. Monty and Harper can’t make it, and Jasper and Miller don’t want to hang around a bunch of couples for the whole weekend. So Clarke figures it’s going to be six people in the five bedroom house, with each couple getting their own bathroom. She’s actually looking forward to it.

But then she gets a call from Bellamy. She’s on the train home from work, and she almost drops her phone when she sees his name pop up. She dithers for a moment, her heart pounding, before she finally decides to answer.

“Hi,” she says, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Clarke,” he says, and the sound of her name on his tongue makes her knees go weak.

“What’s up?” she asks him. He’s obviously calling for a reason. And that reason is probably not to tell her how madly in love with her he is, however many times she’s envisioned that scenario in her mind’s eye.

“Uh, well…” he starts. “Octavia asked me if I wanted to come to the beach with you guys this weekend.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, I figured I should check if it was okay with you first.”

“You really want to come?” Clarke asks. She kind of figured he was avoiding her.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Bellamy says. “I could really do with a vacation,” he laughs. Clarke squeezes her eyes shut, her stomach twisting at the familiar sound of his laugh. How had she not figured out sooner that she was in love with him?

“Of course it’s fine,” Clarke says, because why wouldn’t it be? They aren’t sleeping together anymore, so they don’t have to worry about Wells. As far as either of them are concerned, they’re just distant friends. Or acquaintances maybe.

“Great,” Bellamy says. “Is it okay if I bring someone?”

Clarke hesitates, probably too long. “Sure,” she says quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed her hesitation. No, she doesn’t want him to bring his girlfriend, and no, she doesn’t want to think about what it means that he’s only been dating Echo barely a month and yet he’s bringing her on a weekend away with all their friends.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you Friday.”

“Okay,” Clarke swallows. “See you then.”

  The prospect of seeing Bellamy scares Clarke to death. She hasn’t seen him since A: she realised she was in love with him, and B: he broke her fucking heart. So yeah, she’s a little nervous to say the least.  

Wells doesn’t seem to notice, though she’s mostly silent on the drive to the beach house. Or perhaps he’s just letting her have her space. Either way, she’s glad he’s not questioning her about it. There’s only so many times a person can use the excuse I’m just tired before it starts to seem like a lie.

Clarke and Wells get there first and claim the master bedroom. Clarke unpacks her suitcase into the wardrobe, to keep herself busy. The task doesn’t really keep her mind off Bellamy though, and she keeps listening for a car in the driveway, her heart pounding rapidly.

Octavia, Niylah, Raven, and Shaw arrive together, and Clarke finally has a suitable distraction from her thoughts, as she’d introduced properly to Niylah for the first time, and Raven and Octavia start telling a story about The Worst Driver in the World they encountered on their way here.

She’s so caught up in Octavia’s theatrics, she doesn’t even notice at first when Bellamy and Echo walk in the front door. That is until Octavia cuts herself off midsentence to greet her brother.

“Hey, you made it!” she says, walking over and giving him a hug. Clarke freezes, her heart suddenly lodged in her throat. Bellamy’s eyes seem to scan over the group until they land on Clarke. She smiles weakly, feeling like a nervous wreck. Fucking hell, he looks so good. And if in the back of her mind she’d harboured some doubt about whether or not she’s actually in love with him, that vanishes when he smiles back at her, and her heart squeezes itself so tight she can’t breathe. Not only that, but he pussy starts to throb, as if it can sense he’s close. Yeah, letting him come here was a huge mistake.

“Bellamy,” Wells says, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Oops. She may have forgotten to tell Wells. Or rather, purposefully not told him because it was too hard to even say Bellamy’s name out loud.

“I did ask Clarke if it was okay,” he mentions.

“He did,” Clarke manages, finding her voice. “I guess I forgot to tell you.”

“All good, I guess. You’re here now. And who is this?” Wells nods to the tall brunette standing next to Bellamy. Clarke hates her on sight. With one glance at Octavia, Clarke can tell she isn’t impressed with the arrival of Echo either.

“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Echo,” Bellamy introduces. “Echo, this is… everyone.”

Hearing Bellamy call Echo his girlfriend sends a dagger through Clarke’s heart. And it’s not like she hadn’t known she was his girlfriend. But hearing him actually say it out loud is something else entirely.

“Girlfriend, huh, Blake?” Raven teases. “Seems like someone is finally settling down.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Give it a rest, Raven. We’ve only been dating a month.”

“Only a month and she’s already your girlfriend though,” Raven continues. She turns to Echo. “I guess you’re the one to finally tame the wild beast,” she winks.

Echo smirks. “We’ll see,” she says, glancing at Bellamy flirtatiously. Bellamy looks a little uncomfortable by the whole exchange. Clarke wants to throw up.

“Who wants alcohol?” she announces, heading for the kitchen where Wells had stocked the fridge with beer and cider earlier.

They all end up in the outdoor area out the back of the house, drinks in hand and an array of finger foods on the table in front of them. Echo is sitting in Bellamy’s lap, playing with his hair, laughing too hard at his jokes. Clarke tries to keep her eyes averted, but she burns with jealousy. She wants to be the one sitting in his lap and playing with his hair, feeling his hard cock pressing into her, teasing him until he can’t think straight. She also wants to kick Echo in the face. Instead, she tightens her grip on her bottle of cider and snuggles into Wells’ side. It’s not because she’s trying to make Bellamy jealous. She’s not dumb enough to think he would even care. But she doesn’t want him to know how much she’s affected by his new relationship. So she’s a little more affectionate with Wells than she normally is. The alcohol probably helps.

“Who wants to play a drinking game?” Octavia asks.

“I’m in,” Raven says. “What are we playing?”

“You know, I think I’m a little old for drinking games,” Bellamy grimaces. He looks to Echo. “You want to go to bed?”

“You know I do,” Echo says, leaning in to kiss him.

“Gross,” Octavia says, voicing Clarke’s thoughts for her. “We won’t miss you.”

“Hey, you invited me,” Bellamy reminds her as he and Echo stand up. Clarke watches them head inside, hand in hand. To her surprise, Bellamy glances back for a moment and meets her eyes. She quickly looks away, pressing a kiss to Wells’ cheek. Overcompensating maybe. When she looks back to Bellamy, he’s gone.

“Clarke? Wells? You want to play?” Octavia asks.

“I actually think maybe we should go to bed too,” Clarke says. Somehow the thought of Bellamy and Echo alone in their room is worse than actually being able to see them together, and Clarke feels totally sober all of a sudden.

“Sounds good to me,” Wells grins. “See you guys in the morning.”

“Party poopers!” Raven calls after them as they go back inside.

Despite what Wells might think, Clarke’s intentions are just to go straight to sleep. Only, once she’s in her pyjamas, and under the covers, she begins to hear… noises through the wall. More specifically, the sound of Echo moaning like a mad woman.

Clarke groans, putting her pillow over her face as Wells gets into bed beside her.

“God, I hope we don’t have to listen to that all night,” he says. “Surely he can’t be that good in bed?”

Clarke knows for a fact that he is that good. Although Echo does sound completely ridiculous moaning like that. Clarke likes to think her own moans are much sexier. She does realise that even though she can hear Echo quite clearly, she can’t really hear Bellamy at all. She takes some satisfaction in the notion that maybe he’s not having as much fun with Echo as he did with Clarke.

Clarke turns over on her side to face Wells. “Fuck me,” she commands him.

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Are you actually turned on by that?” Wells snorts.

“I just think we can outdo them.”

“Clarke, you’re not that loud in bed. I don’t think you can outdo Echo,” Wells rolls his eyes. “You know, that name actually suits her come to think of it.”

Clarke snorts. As much as she’d like to hang shit on Echo and her ridiculous name for the rest of the night, what she really wants is to get fucked. “I can be loud,” Clarke tells him. “Watch me.”

Wells doesn’t need to be told twice. And okay, pretty much all of Clarke’s noises are fake. But she’s pretty sure a lot of Echo’s are too. Sure, Bellamy is great in bed, but Echo sounds like she’s literally being murdered in the next room.

Clarke pretends to come when Wells comes, but even then, they can still hear Echo through the walls.

“How are they still going?” Wells asks incredulously. Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Let’s just go to sleep now, okay?” she huffs. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and tries to drown out the sounds of Echo.

  Clarke is awake early the next morning, long before anyone else will be up. Wells is still snoring softly next to her. It’s already warming up outside, and Clarke decides to take advantage of the solitude and go for a walk along the beach. She dresses in a pair of short shorts and a tank top and heads downstairs, stopping in the kitchen to grab a glass of water before she goes.

As she fills her glass at the sink, she looks out the kitchen window to see Bellamy lounging in the hammock on the front porch, reading, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts that Clarke swears are almost as tiny as her own. God, he’s so fucking sexy.

She lets herself watch him, his brow furrowed in concentration as he reads. She smiles to herself, her heart soft for him. So he has a girlfriend. She can still be in love with him and be his friend, right? It’s totally possible.

She puts down her glass and walks out onto the front porch. Bellamy looks up as the door slams behind her. He sits up, closing his book. His eyes rake over her body, lingering on her tits. She feels her clit twinge. So it’s not that he’s not attracted to her then.

“Hey,” she says. “I’m just going for a walk along the beach. Do you want to come?”

Bellamy considers. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees. He swings himself off the hammock, more gracefully than what Clarke would ever be able to manage, and follows her down the front steps.

They walk in silence towards the beach, Clarke with her hands in her back pockets for lack of something better to do with them. Because what she really wants to do is slip her hand into his. Or maybe just grab his face and kiss him.

It’s a five-minute walk until they reach the ocean, and it’s cooler out in the open air, and a little windy. The breeze blows through Bellamy’s already tousled locks, making him look like he’s in a beach themed photoshoot.

“So, uh, you and Echo, huh?” Clarke says. Why, she has no idea. She does not want to hear Bellamy gush about his girlfriend. “Seems like things are going well. If what I heard last night is anything to go by.”

Bellamy snorts. “You heard that, huh?”

“How could I not?”

“I will admit she’s a little over the top. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was faking it sometimes,” Bellamy admits.

“And how do you know better?”

Bellamy smirks. “Come on, Clarke. Don’t pretend like I didn’t make you come over and over and over.”

Clarke shivers. Fucking hell, does he have to make her want him so bad? “So we’re talking about that are we?”

Bellamy shrugs. “We don’t have to. How are things going with Wells, now that you’re…?”

“Back together?” Clarke finishes for him. Bellamy stops, staring at her. His jaw ticks.

“Back together?” he repeats. Clarke’s eyes widen as she realises what she’s said. “I was going to say monogamous.” Bellamy swallows. “You and Wells broke up? When? I mean… Octavia never said—”

“She doesn’t know,” Clarke says quickly. Her face burns. “I didn’t tell anyone. So please don’t mention it. No one knows.”

“Okay,” Bellamy nods. He seems unable to look at her now. They continue walking.

“It was right after… you ended things with me. And it was only for like a week. I guess I just wanted to see if being with Wells was what I really wanted,” Clarke shrugs.

Bellamy turns his head towards her sharply, his eyes piercing into her. “And it is, then?”

Clarke swallows. “Yes.”

An uncomfortable silence follows. Clarke isn’t sure why. All she knows is she’s completely on edge, half of her desperate to confess everything to him, the other half desperate to hold onto her pride. The prideful side of her wins out.

“You want to go swimming?” she says. Anything to break the silence.

“What?”

“The water looks so nice,” Clarke continues. She tilts her head at him, waiting to see if he’s coming.

“I think I’ll pass,” he says. Clarke shrugs, as if to say suit yourself, and then she pulls her tank top over her head and her shorts over her ass. She can feel him watching her strip down to her underwear, and she’s totally not doing this to get a reaction from him, but if it turns him on too then she’s not complaining.

She looks back over her shoulder as she heads towards the water. He’s still watching her. She can’t help a smirk from spreading across her face.

The water is freezing, but Clarke forces herself to wade in anyway. She reaches her waist then dives under the water. She breaks the surface again, gasping from the cold, flicking her hair out of her eyes. She stands up, the water just reaching her breasts.  

“Come on!” she yells to Bellamy. “It’s not cold, I swear!”

“You’re lying!” he yells back, but he’s very clearly smiling.

“Don’t be such a chicken!”

Bellamy shakes his head, laughing. But then he’s walking towards her and into the water.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bellamy swears as he gets deeper. “It’s fucking freezing, Clarke!”

“It’s not that bad!”

He dives under the water and surfaces half a metre from her. “You’re insane,” he tells her.

“Yet you followed me anyway.”

“You’re too persuasive.”

Clarke pokes her tongue out, and then splashes him. Bellamy raises an eyebrow, smirking.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Griffin,” he challenges, stepping towards her.

“Oh, what are you going to do?” she teases. He lunges for her and she turns away, trying to escape his grasp half-heartedly, but he grabs her around the waist, pulling her back flush against his chest.

“No, don’t!” she squeals, laughing.

“Do you surrender?” he asks, lips against her ear. Clarke squirms, trying not to think about his wet skin against hers. But it feels like he’s touching her everywhere, and her head swims and her cunt pulses with need. She wonders if he’s hard right now, but she doesn’t dare make a move to find out.

“I surrender,” she tells him, and he lets her go. She turns around, but she doesn’t put any distance between them. His eyes flick to her lips and she wills him to kiss her.

“Clarke,” he says hoarsely. “I really want to kiss you.”

“So kiss me,” she murmurs.

Bellamy shakes his head. “I have a girlfriend, Clarke. I’m not going to cheat on her.” Right, Echo. “We should head back,” Bellamy sighs, stepping away from her. Disappointed, but knowing it’s better this way, Clarke follows him back up to the sand. She grabs her clothes from the ground but doesn’t put them back on yet.

“We should wash the salt and sand off before we go,” Clarke says, nodding her head towards the public bathroom by the carpark. There’s an outdoor shower around the side of the brick building. Clarke gets under first, and the water is cold but not as cold as the ocean. She closes her eyes to let the water fall over her face, and opens them to find Bellamy looking at her strangely.

“What?” she asks.

“You know your underwear is totally see-through right now, right?”

Clarke had not known, but when she looks down now, she can see that he’s right. The white material of her bra and panties clings to her, the water having turned them so transparent it’s like she isn’t wearing anything at all.

“Oh,” she says. “You’re right.” She looks back up at him. “You waited a long time to tell me that,” she points out. He must have noticed as soon as they got out of the water. And he definitely hasn’t been not looking at her.

Bellamy flushes. “Clarke—”

“I guess there’s no point in wearing them at all then,” Clarke shrugs. She reaches behind her to unclasp her bra and lets it fall from her chest. Then she peels off her panties and throws them to the side where her shorts and tank top sit.

“Fucking hell, Clarke,” Bellamy groans, shaking his head.

“We’re wasting water,” Clarke says, she reaches out and grabs his arm, tugging him into the shower with her. He’s stronger than her, he could resist easily, if he wanted to. He doesn’t.

He doesn’t move to touch her, but he’s so close that her nipples brush his chest, and he’s looking down at her with dark eyes, filled with want.

“Why are you like this?” he asks. Is that an insult or a compliment?

“Like what?”

“Irresistible,” he murmurs. His hands come to rest of her waist, and then he leans down, capturing her lips between his. Clarke whimpers as she closes her eyes, her arms circling around his neck. The water shuts off automatically, but Clarke barely notices. Bellamy presses her against the brick wall behind her, crushing her tits against his chest. He’s kissing her like his life depends on it, desperate and messy, like he’s trying to remind her she’s alive. She’d almost forgotten what it’s like to be kissed by him, and now that she remembers she doesn’t ever want him to stop again. She needs him to remind her how it feels to be fucked, really fucked. She wants him to fill her throbbing cunt with his cock, and come with him deep inside her.

“Bell, fuck me,” she moans. “I need you, I need you.”

“You need me, huh?” he says. “You need your pussy filled? You need my cock inside you?”

“Yes. Please. Please.”

“Of course you do, baby,” he murmurs, slipping a hand between her legs. “Bet you missed being fucked properly, didn’t you?”

“Uh huh,” Clarke nods as Bellamy plays with her clit. “I missed you so much.”

“Missed me? Or missed my cock?” He pushes two fingers inside her and she gasps.

“Both,” she moans. She tugs at his shorts, and he helps her pull them down to free his cock. “Oh god,” she groans. “I forgot how big it is. I need it inside me.”

“I know, baby, I know,” Bellamy coos. He kisses her again, gripping her ass, hoisting her up so she can wrap her legs around him.  He presses the bulging head of his cock against her entrance, and then he’s pushing inside her, stretching her pussy good and wide. Clarke almost comes right then.

Her back is against the bricks, and she clutches his back as he thrusts into her.

“Yes,” she gasps. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck me, fuck me.”

Bellamy moans and the sound sends shockwaves through her. He drives into her over and over, the pressure building inside her. She needs to come so bad, and she’s right there on the edge. I love you, she thinks. I love you, I love you. And it would be so easy to let it slip off her tongue right now, in this moment of bliss. But instead she just cries his name as she comes, her walls clenching around him as she comes all over his cock.

“Come inside me,” Clarke moans as he continues fucking her against the wall. “I need your come in me.”

“Anything you want,” Bellamy groans, letting his seed spill inside her, filling her up with his come. It leaks out of her as he pulls his cock out of her and lets her back onto the ground. Bellamy steps back, pulling his shorts back up, not bothering to clean himself up. She wonders if he’s feeling guilty. He grabs her clothes and hands them to her, and Clarke quickly puts her wet underwear back on and then her shorts and top. Bellamy looks away, as if he hadn’t just had his hands all over her naked body.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Bellamy nods.

“What about Echo?”

Bellamy considers. “She doesn’t have to know.”

[astereaholloway]

- ̗̀ * ( sophie turner + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( aster holloway ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-one ) year old, studying ( botany + entomology ). we hear they are in ( theta sigma eta ), and can be ( opinionated & daunting ), maybe it’s because they are an ( aries ). they sort of remind us of ( abandoned greenhouses, spinning bike wheels , iridescent pocket knives ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + habitat

i yeet’d holliday for this child o’ mine pls love her bc i love her sm i’ll prolly change her fc to sophie turner as soon as i get tired of cropping gifs of saoirse but enjoy her face for now sksksk. like this n i’ll come to u!!

tw: fire, death, cancer, etc. etc.

gen. info

full name: aster holloway

nickname(s): n/a, give her one n she’ll cut you probably

b.o.d. - april 1st.

label(s): the hellcat, the minefield, the connard, etc. etc.

height: probably like 5′7″ or 5′8″ tbh

hometown: inglewood, california

sexuality: chaotic. lesbian.

bio. info

hasn’t had the most......stable, life

born to dahlia verbeck, a botanist, wildlife conservationist, and volunteer firefighter whose presence was very well known in south california’s environmental scene

to keep a long story short, she married maverick holloway; a sleazy low-rank cop with a smoking problem and an obnoxious personality when she was 19. he was nearly twice her age. nobody knows why she married him, or why she tolerated him

the relationship was by no means abusive, but it was lackluster

this led to dahlia having a one night stand, and baba boom baba bing, aster was conceived

 the only one who knew that the child wasn’t maverick’s was dahlia’s twin brother, donovan, whose career was p much the exact same as dahlia’s

they were basically both mad scientists; when dahlia started slacking because of her pregnancy, donovan would kick it up

like ykno the twin scientists in bioshock infinite ?? that them like they were eerily alike, always finishing each other’s sentences. nightmare fuel.

the only difference was that donovan was considerably less intense than dahlia b/c dahlia was the kinda lass who would set fire to your car

anywAYs so aster was born and everything was fine n dandy until she got a lil older and it suddenly became clear that this child was absolutely not maverick’s at all because they looked. nothing alike. like u know when u can just tell ?? yeah. yeah u could tell

maverick left dahlia afterwards and it was essentially up to her to raise aster alone. donovan had his own wife and kid to take care of and sort of backed down from his career to do so. house dads ftw

aster grew up knowing her dad as some ‘deadbeat no good’ simply bc dahlia was bitter

also grew up as the kid who would hold worms over another kid’s face and taunt them w/ it. so like, playground bully. that was aster. she’s not ashamed of it

she was often left on her own to do her own kinda shit b/c her mom was always busy out in nature n’ shit but aster never minded; loved her mom a Lot

aster’s life changed when she was nine

her mother had been doing research out in the ~wilderness~ with donovan, after months of convincing him of doing this one last project with her~ when the wildfires started

it spread so fast, and they were already too far away from the road

it took them two months to confirm that the twins were dead

rather than leave aster to maverick, elaine--donovan’s wife--took her under her wing and moved across the country to boston alongside myra, her daughter

elaine always held a resentment towards aster because of her mother, but never did anything about it--it was just always, sorta, implied ?

but myra and aster got along swimmingly despite being polar opposites

aster was p much a feral child, and myra had been receiving etiquette lessons since birth, practically--like, literally

elaine put them in the same hobbies but aster always found ways to be wildly different from the ~standard~

myra learned cello and flute, aster started up on bass and drums (breaking both instruments, repeatedly, for many years)

elaine forced dance onto the both of them, and whilst they both excelled at ballet--aster switched over to a more free-flowing dance as soon as she was able to

(that and when elaine tried to put aster in sports instead of dance--figuring her fiery nature would be put to good use--aster managed to get kicked off of every single team of every single sport she tried b/c of her aggression. theyve had to fight a few lawsuits after aster’s broken a number of noses and sporting equipments)

myra was learning two languages, aster? dyslexic and could barely read english as it was; science made sense to her, however. plants? especially.

people confused myra and aster for twins nearly all the damn time, despite only being cousins, they were so alike and yet so opposite

that was, of course, until they got into a nasty spat when they were seventeen

it was something about dead parents and resentments and yadda yadda; it didn’t end well

aster wound up running away......all the way back to los angeles.

n i mean like......homegirl literally managed to run away across the gd country w/o getting caught or murdered

by the time she arrived in los angeles her aunt was sort of like ‘fuck it ur almost 18′ b/c....aster was nearly 18 by the time she arrived in the city, and elaine contacted maverick who in which found aster

aster did not want to go with him, after hearing stories about him just being no-good

but at that point, maverick was one of los angeles’ head detectives with a beautiful apartment and a beautiful wife and a beautiful dog and just kind of living his best life ?? after dahlia’s death he had really cleaned himself up y’kno

aster still kind of resented him but that was more of an inner thing

anyways she started attending ucla b/c her mother attended ucla, but her mother wasn’t a part of a sorority

it was one of those spur of the moment decisions and like nobody knows how aster ended up in theta sigma eta b/c she’s like a grumpy grandmother

but like she dun’ did that

we stan

a year ago maverick was diagnosed w cancer and has been in the hospital battling it ever since, aster is admittedly effected by it but like would never tell anybody ever

she doesn’t really tell anybody anything about her life, like, it’s a gd mystery

uuuuuuuuh aster works in a floral shop as a florist and grows her own shit ranging from fruits, vegetables, weed, shrooms, uh opium poppies yeah she Does that

it’s organic n fresh n shit like the devil works hard but aster works harder

she doesn’t really ~sell~ too often b/c she’s kinda selfish w her stash but it’s some top notch shit when she does 

no she doesn’t grow in the floral shop she’s not Stupid

aster inherited some of her mother’s properties Out There so she drives up almost everyday to take care of her plants

uuuhh fun fact, aster’s part of a dance like...company, kind of? but not really ? outside of ucla b/c she hates being involved in school shit besides habitat for humanity

personality

v v v harsh tbh

she won’t beat around the bush, usually...brutally honest, tbh?

like lbr she’s kind of a bitch too

just v offputting at first b/c she tells it like how it is n doesn’t rly care abt ur problems

doesn’t go around lookin’ for new friends but if you’re tight w her then she’ll probably die for u like she’s v loyal

but if u wrong her like even once she’ll drop u and treat u like right shit

she either feels intensely or nothing at all n that’s like. smth u have to deal w/

she’s v v v chaotic neutral, bordering evil--really works in her own favors

became a botanist after her mother bc she admired her mother more than anybody else

not saying that being vegan is a personality trait

but

aster’s a vegan

n just super hardcore into saving the earth n shit?

litter and she’ll break ur nose, basically

v into sustainable living n shit. rides her bicycle everywhere if she can, rly rarely drives, doesn’t do fast fashion at ALL

v v passionate, will argue w/ u until u admit she’s right even if she’s painfully wrong

like super stubborn, v opinionated, assumes the worst of u immediately

a lil cynical, but is more realist than pessimist

BIG FUCKING GAY

like so gay

she’s not Out-Out but she definitely doesn’t hide it, just doesn’t think it’s necessary to be like ‘im gay’ every 5 minutes n doesn’t think it’s necessary to let ppl kno she’s gay b/c shes just like....its my business

kinda bitch to flirt w dudes for fun in order to lead them on, get them to do things for her, etc. etc. just to disappoint in the end

this is big dumbass energy b/c that’s how u get stabbed

unless aster stabs u first

kinda gal who’ll key ur car if u piss her off during a class debate, but will also stick thumb tacks into ur wheels n shit too

like.....i said she’s spiteful, right? b/c she can b so spiteful

really, genuinely, has no regard for other ppl’s feelings

her music taste is either heavy rock or straight up like grimes/die antwoord there is no in between (prolly listens to billie eilish tho)

owns a pet tarantula n yes she has it in her dorm n Yes she brings it out n plays w it n shit her name is stevie nicks n u better respect her

big slut

would never cheat on u but also probably wouldn’t date u in the first place bc she’s scared of like....being in a relationship b/c all of hers are p much on the rocks

probably carries around a pocket knife at all times

probably bought said pocket knife from a dude in an alleyway for like $5 

myra also goes to ucla and theyre 100% still not speaking but that’s bc they’re both too stubborn to go to each other but like lbr aster misses her cousin

v unruly, nvr brushes her hair, usually got dirt on her clothes bc she’s prolly been digging in gardens or stealing flowers or some shit

bright side is tht she always smells like flowers

theta sigma eta is lucky b/c she cooks her own meals w her own fresh veggies n shit n she always makes too much food n like ? so good

but anyways she’s also got like no manners okay she’s so impolite

uuuuuuh god i dunno what else

wanted connections

ride or die

other friends of varying closeness

ex-friends ???

...like somebody she’s into but also...not into? v conflicted feelings

on-and-off-agains bc their relationship is awful n probably toxic but it just. hurt so good

ex-gfs

ex-hookups

boys she’s led on

boys she’s currently leading on

flirtatious encounter gone wrong [not clickbait] ??

enemies

enemies but gone sexual [not clickbait]

buyers of her products - either weed, shrooms, or opium teehee

roommate

give her somebody she was a uwu soft crush on but would nvr do anything abt bc gross romance !!

alternately, unrequited crushes of any sorts

fellow gays b/c gays always end up knowing each other

party pals

frenemies ??

sdfgh give me her dad’s trophy wife pleathe....it’d be so funny

childhood friends tht knew her b4 she moved to boston so like...ages 0-9

childhood friends tht knew her after she moved to boston so like...ages 9-17

or acquaintances bc she was....a mean one

A TUTOR just b/c she can rly struggle w her dyslexia

[mithliya]

hi! so this is gonna be a long ask, if you dont feel like replying or dont really know what to say no hard feelings!! okay so idk if im asking for advice or just your personal thoughts, but i love your blog and ive seen you giving very insightful smart advice/opinions before and i like your vibe in general.

so here goes nothing: ive been working at a new place since june (supermarket) and i like most of my colleagues. a few weeks ago a new guy started working there (im from germany) hes black around 30 years old and immigrated tho i dont know when/from where and his german is pretty good and i thought he was very nice and polite. Now some time around last week two of my colleagues (both female) have talked about how he wont ever listen to them and gets mad/feels personally attacked when either of them criticises him/tells him to do sth differently/corrects him/orders him to do sth, and how they are pretty sure its bc theyre both women since he has no problem listening to literally any of my male colleagues. I have personally never really made that observation (which also makes me question what theyre saying bc id like to say im pretty good at picking up chauvinist patterns by now lol), especially since im way younger than my colleagues (men who dont respect women tend to respect women younger than them even less i think) and it happened many times that he asked me if he could help me with anything when he had nothing to do/asked me stuff about products or whatever when he didnt know/took my advice when i told him about a way to do sth more efficiently etc.. And here comes the main reason im questioning what theyre saying: when they talked about it they said a few times how "the men here [europe] respect women but they [men from majority black countries] dont" and how they [black men] are "naturally more aggressive" and arent used to having to listen to women. So after the racist things theyve said im unsure if hes really a misogynist uncomfortable with listening to women, or if theyre just racist and thus are micromanaging him/criticising him/ordering him around a lot more which in return makes him not want to listen to those two female colleagues of mine. If i knew for sure hes just a misogynist ofc id go cold turkey on trying to be nice to him/making smalltalk/offering help and whatever but in case im wrong and his hostility is just the result of racism i dont want to take part in lowkey bullying in the workplace and make him feel alienated. but then again if my two colleagues are correct i dont want to play nice with a misogynist. Do you see my struggle? its not even like i could do much in either scenario bc out of the three days of the week that im working, im only sharing one 7 hour shift a week with him. so yea like i said, idk what im really asking for here i mainly wanted to get it off my chest and hopefully youll tell me im not absolutely bonkers and overthinking stupid shit lmao <3<3<3

first off so sorry for taking some time to respond, i saw how long ur msg was and wanted to sit down properly so i can read it n respond.

tbh, if i knew someone and talked to them frequently and didn’t notice such a trend, + the people who pointed out to me start spewing racist things,, id be more inclined to trust my own experience. i guess you’d just have to keep observing and see if there’s any truth to their statements, but it seems you’re already leaning towards their statements likely being based on their own biases towards him due to him being black. especially if they said that black men are “naturally more aggressive”… that to me isn’t even subtle. maybe if possible u could try to see how they interact w him and how he responds, ig thats the only way you’ll know for sure. but definitely if he’s good w u and it’s been going well with him, i say keep being the way u are bc it’s never great to have bad relationships w any coworkers

[fuckdavestriderheistheworst-blog]

Avi's making me answer all of them so now you have to, too. All the ones no one else asks you.

why do i even reblog these things when i know one of you are gonna do this 

am i a masochist

I’ll try to give solid answers. 

1) Sexuality?

i dont know not straight but not gay and also probably not bi because i dont just look at people of both sexes and think “damn id tap that” 

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

ben stiller probably 

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

i took vantas’ book because it became the one closest to me 

“’That is such a bizarre request I have to agree to do it.’“

4) What do you think about most?

what im doing with my life and why i picked the most unsteady and risky career choice ever and if ill end up fucked because of it

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“We’re meeting at Think Coffee at four. Come with us.”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

usually with at least boxers on but sometimes naked

7) What’s your strangest talent?

i used to get into rap battles with kids in my high school class i like to think im talented enough to declare it a talent

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

girls dont like boys girls like cars and money. boys will laugh at girls when theyre not funny

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

ive had a diss rap written about me on a few occasions if that counts

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

probably a year ago i dont keep track of my intense solo shower performances

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

i dont know if either of these count since they mostly just make me uncomfortable but silence bugs me and so does the solo sound of clockwork

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

no but once i got a stick stuck up it because of someone else

13) What’s your religion?

athiest i guess? like i dont really believe in god or in any higher power otherwise wed have been snuffed out for being pieces of shit long ago

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

taking pictures or carryin a drink or running when its too damn early and too damn cold

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it for sure

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

that changes by the day. today a band i listened to a lot was son lux

17) What was the last lie you told?

that it was fine

18) Do you believe in karma?

only when im mad

19) What does your URL mean?

i mean

read it

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i asked vantas and he said the answer to both is “my eagerness to please” which i dont know if i agree with but i dont have a better answer

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

who ISNT my celebrity crush is a better question

my favorites and the ones i would shit myself to meet in person are tom franco, ben stiller, and robert downey jr

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no and i dont really want to

23) How do you vent your anger?

i use it to be productive most of the time but if its anger on behalf of someone i smother the person i care about and try to forget my own feelings about it

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

cameras, picture frames, and vinyl records

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting for sure

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

im way happier with who i am than i was two years ago

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

a clock ticking or someone tappin in time to the passage OF time

vantas’ laugh

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if id never sent that anonymous message what if id just kept being who i was before

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

ghosts? psh fuck no. aliens? dude its a real thing aliens are real we have documented proof of it

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

wall on the right, vantas on the left

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing really? i mean i could sniff vantas and then say i smell him but i dont really smell anything

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

im not sure i guess the hospital? nobody likes the hospital not even the staff

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

west coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god have you seen todays performers theyre all fuckin gorgeous

maybe selena gomez she has a cute face even if im not that into her music

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

spend time with the people i care about and dont waste time on the people i dont

make them know theyre important

36) Define Art.

somebody expressing themselves and NOT bullshitting some deep and fake meaning onto somethin they didnt try with

37) Do you believe in luck?

not really

38) What’s the weather like right now?

its 60 degrees 

39) What time is it?

9pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes i drive and no ive never CRASHED but i did fuck up my tire rod and alignment once because i swerved to miss a dog if that counts as a crash

41) What was the last book you read?

a college textbook

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

not enough that id go huffin it but i definitely dont dislike it

43) Do you have any nicknames?

not technically i dont think

44) What was the last movie you saw?

black panther

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

a concussion because of the amnesia that followed suit

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yeah

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

so theres this thing in northern new york called a garbage plate 

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

the same as #1

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah and it sucked

50) Do you believe in magic?

no 

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not if theyve done me wrong i dont particularly care that much about myself that id hate someone forever over something they did

52) What is your astrological sign?

saggitarius i think? im not sure i never keep up with horoscope stuff

53) Do you save money or spend it?

both 

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

dinner 

55) Love or lust?

love

56) In a relationship?

yes and its a damn good one

57) How many relationships have you had?

more than 10 but less than 30

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no and i tried like a fucking IDIOT

59) Where were you yesterday?

school and also i had a meeting about my next job

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

god no i dont like socks

62) What’s your favorite animal?

chameleon (but birds are really fucking cool)

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

answered

64) Where is your best friend?

right beside me

65) Spit or swallow?(;

swallow

66) What is your heritage?

white and i dont think i can expand upon that without being laughed at for BEING white

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i dont want to say sleeping but i think i was sleeping

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

do angels and demons HAVE last names? im not versed enough to make an educated guess

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

what kind of question is this doesnt EVERYBODY??

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

fuck no i wouldnt like me if i met me

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i dont want to work for lucifer so id save the dog, spend the rest of my day off at the vet makin sure he got treated and then look for the owner

or keep him depending on how big the dog is

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

i wouldnt tell them right away i dont think but i dont think i could keep that from people i loved 

id spend the rest of those days doing everything i could to make sure everybody knows they were important to me and then i guess id write a will

i dont know if id be afraid because part of me doesnt want to die and the other part knows its inevitable and that i shouldnt waste time bein afraid of it because like it or not itll happen eventually

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

god thats a hard choice but can you have a real meaningful love without trust? i guess id have to give up love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

noma - “brain power” 

its just impossible to not enjoy it or feel even a little pumped

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

nope im not cool with this one i cant answer it i am too paranoid

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, some sacrifice, and lots of late night talks over late bought dinners 

77) How can I win your heart?

answered

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yeah but to a certain point the creativity just becomes finger painting with your own shit while proclaiming you are the MASTER of modern fine arts and wont take any less than three million for your masterpiece 

or you know having a tantrum about paint pigment ownership so profound that it marks you in history books as the worlds biggest art cunt 

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

to try and make friends with a jaded grouch

80) What size shoes do you wear?

10

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“buried naked without his rolex so dont even try”

82) What is your favorite word?

answered

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

soul

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

probably “its cool”

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

“alternate world” by son lux

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

red for sure

87) What is your current desktop picture?

one of those connect four memes 

its the pepperoni one but zoomed in on the pepperoni itself

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

no i do NOT want to kill anybody via explosion thats a shitty way to go 

hitler just in case

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“what are you afraid of”

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

ask them politely to leave i guess? what the fuck kind of scenario is this night at the museum

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

1) totally unrealistic i would not eat vegetables without there being some other food group involved and 

2) i really dont want superpowers im not the hero type and never will be

maybe some way to freeze time that also includes bringing someone along to the frozen time zone because i never have enough time

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time i got to talk to robert zemeckis because i was fanboying so hard i barely registered half the shit he said and half the advice he gave

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wouldnt erase any bad experience thats just asking for a butterfly effect scenario

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

nobody because 1) i am happy in my current relationship and dont really want to sleep around and 2) do they not get a say in it

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hawaii because its probably warm and comforting there i can buy vantas a second ticket if the first is free

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

no

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

never thank fuck my cars interior costs more than i do

98) Ever been on a plane?

yeah a couple times

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

you cant go back in time and correct any mistakes so do it right the first time or make things right after you fuck up 

dont dwell on the stuff that doesnt matter and spend time on the stuff that does

[mochabeesnuts]

For the ting (go skkrrrrrat) thing. All of them

*yells* Da ting go skkkkrrrraaa, papakakaka Skivipipopop and a poopooturrrboom Skrra, tutukukututoom, poompoom

1. selfie

HNNNG OK UH. UGH. HRM. FINE. A;JKFG

hnnng asdfj;klad aNYWAYS

2. what would you name your future kids?

im not sure honestly, i feel like its one of those things where i have to meet them first. and honestly i dont think about it too much because i plan on adopting so chances are they’ll be old enough to already have a name. idk, im not picky about age. i feel like its going to be one of those things were i’ll just. know which kid needs me and that will be that.

3. do you miss anyone?

mm i miss my dogs at home. but i get to visit soon so!

4. what are you looking forward to?

im looking forward to january and seeing my friend. im also looking forward to next semester and getting a fresh start. also the possibility of getting a cat soon

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

heheh yeah there is

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

y.u.p. jesus fuck

7. what was your life like last year?

um. it was hard. and painful. but it was a learning experience and i think im stronger for it

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

yes

9. who did you last see in person?

uhh i saw my roomie like a half hour ago when i was walking home

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

i used to be a fucking master at it. cant tell if i miss that skill or not

11. are you listening to music right now?

yup! trying to find some new songs to listen to regularly

12. what is something you want right now?

i dont know actually

13. how do you feel right now?

i feel... mm i feel kinda peaceful. i feel like a lot of weight has been taken off of my shoulders but i still have so much on my plate. but i have a clearer mind to work on those things now so it’s a start

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

umm i got a hug from my dad on friday. if dad doesnt count then um.. hm... *squints* a long time

15. personality description

passionate. when i feel something i feel it strongly. whether its good or bad its fucking there and i almost always act on it. i dont hesitate but i try to be as considerate as possible. i try to be a people pleaser. and im also very determined. heheh, look at that i managed not to make that negative, kinda happy with that tbh.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

yes, just once i think. i told someone it was ok that they were leaving me and that it was ok they were breaking my heart instead of telling them how i actually felt. i wanted to say it, but i knew that making them feel worse for it wouldnt do either of us any good. so i kept my feelings to myself.

17. opinion on insecurities.

we all have them. a lot of them. and they overwhelm even the best of us at times. whether we choose to or not we wear them on our sleeves and theyre one of the hardest things to fight against because our greatest and strongest enemy is ourselves. being your own greatest friend is fucking hard, and insecurities play a large role in that.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

no. i dont. i was sad and lonely. i didnt feel like i belonged anywhere. but thats not true anymore, and id never want to go back to that.

19. have you ever been to New York?

nope!

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

i have a few songs that i love a lot rn but mmm i can put down the one that i relate to a lot today? Machine by misterwives is a big mood for me rn and its nice the other hella big mood and this one has been putting the biggest smile on my face is salt by bad suns

21. age and birthday?

18 about to turn 19! my bday is november 30th :D

22. description of crush.

theyre human. they work hard and theyre passionate about what they love. a complete and utter dork that gets excited and can go on an on about what they find interesting and i can honestly listen to it all day. theyre sweet and silly and creative and smart as hell. theyve been there for me through so fucking much and we’ve both hit our low points and shown darker sides of ourselves but despite that we’re both still here yknow? and that, idk that means something to me. because anyone can stick around through the bright and beautiful stuff, the easy parts. but it takes someone special to be there and still just, want to be in your life even when shit hits rock bottom.

23. fear(s)

im honestly not sure. i never really have been.. i mean.. hm. idk. spiders maybe. but lately theyve bugged me less. usually instead of freaking out if i see spiders or bugs now i just help them get outside so i dont think that counts anymore.. idk. im sure im afraid of something, everyone is. i just.. dont really know what it is. one of my friends said i may be afraid of the unknown which is possible. *Shrugs*

24. height

5 ft 9 in!

25. role model

dont really have one

26. idol(s)

nani the fuck this is the same question

27. things i hate

i HATE people that treat customer services like shit. i hate lying and i hate high school drama(tm). i also hate eggplants.

28. i'll love you if...

you be yourself

29. favourite film(s)

the chronicles of naria, httyd 1 and 2, little mermaid, anastasia, inkheart

30. favourite tv show(s)

how i met your mother, stranger things, kekkai sensen, your lie in april, brooklyn 99, firefly, voltron

31. 3 random facts

1. ive jumped off a cliff

2. jellyfish can produce asexually as well as sexually. they can clone themselves!

3. mitochondria is still the powerhouse of the cell

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

girls

33. something you want to learn

i want to learn more about marine biology, i miss it

34. most embarrassing moment

mm wasnt the most embarrassing and it was actually kinda funny but its recent-ish so.

last year in instrumental rep class we were at the concert hall and this pianist was playing for us on stage, pro and fancy from out of country and everything. and i hadnt been getting much sleep so when she started playing all this slow and pretty music i passed tf out. problem was. i was sitting in front of my entire class/all my friends. and apparently just as she finished a song i started laughing in my sleep just like a mumbly “heheheh” but it was deadass quiet so EVERYONE heard it. and when someone nudged me awake like, everyone was looking at me but i didnt know why. and i went the entire fucking class not knowing it had happened and it wasnt until after the class ended and the performer got off stage that everyone burst out laughing and told me what happened. they fucking called me chuckles for a week lmao

35. favourite subject

music, photography, english, marine biology

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

1. i want to be successful enough that i can repay my parents for everything theyve done for me

2. i want to be the composer for a big name film

3. its.. dumb but i just really want to be in a happy relationship. a real one. its probably not the best thing to want as a dream but ill be real, ive been in love with the idea of love ever since i was a kid and that never really went away, just my chances in believing it’s something that will happen in my life.

37. favourite actor/actress

hmm i probably have one but its not coming to mind

38. favourite comedian(s)

kevin hart

39. favourite sport(s)

i love watching ice skating, love participating in swimming. used to do it competitively

40. favourite memory

ahh its hard to pick one plus this feels a bit personal!

41. relationship status

single as a pringle.. which doesnt make sense because pringles come in packs but it rhymes so fight me ok

42. favourite book(s)

inkheart, chronicles of narnia, my sister’s keeper

43. favourite song ever

what’s up by 4 non blondes, also 7 layers by dotan

44. age you get mistaken for

early 20s

45. how you found out about your idol

bruh

46. what my last text message says

hnnng its “Good night, I love you mom!” sdfj;lkgsd

47. turn ons

ive answered this a few times before

48. turn offs

ive answered this a few times before

49. where i want to be right now

mmm, im happy where i am for now i think.

50. favourite picture of your idol

ffs

51. starsign

Sagittarius 

52. something i'm talented at

music, photography

53. 5 things that make me happy

1. my friends

2. my plushie/soft things

3. music

4. rain

5. the fact that each new day is a chance for something new. idk why but that fact has just made me feel better a lot

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

my friends. theyre all going through a lot and i want to help but i can only do so much

55. tumblr friends

you know who you are bbs

56. favourite food(s)

this is always strangely hard for me to answer. theres an udon place back at home though that i can safely say is my fav.

57. favourite animal(s)

jellyfish, dolphins, dogs, cats, sea turtles, jorunna parva (sea bunnies), dragons

58. description of my best friend

i have a couple. both are kind and passionate as fuck. theyve been there for me through thick and thin and i wouldnt trade them for the world. theyre also going through so much fucking shit rn and i want to be there for them as much as i can

59. why i joined tumblr

because all my homestuck trash friends had one and convinced me to make one. i didnt know wtf to do on this hellsite for a solid 4 months

60. ask me anything you want

you gotta ask me anything you want my dude lmao, just pop into my inbox with whatever question you want to ask and i’ll answer it honestly

[cometcrystal]

cleuce obvi

• when or if I started shipping it. - actually my little sibling got the original sigs back in 2010 and i have a distinct memory of admiring the cleo and deuce dolls and thinking they were sweet together. if that doesn’t count, it was as soon as i got into mh• my thoughts: - GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. yall know my multitude of thoughts on them already but theyre my #1 most important ship i love them so much• What makes me happy about them: - they break the cliche of “jock is in unhappy relationship w bitch mean girl” bc they love each other so much and they support each other the whole way. theyre healthy and they communicate and theyre perfect and have no flaws• What makes me sad about them: - the couple of fights theyve had in canon have been heartbreaking!! and they resolved them quickly bc their relationship is strong but they were still sad!!!• things done in art/fic that annoys me: - yall already know this bc i’ve talked about it at length but they are not abusive i won’t stand for ppl writing them like they are• things I look for in art/fic: - them being sweet and supportive and cute and not being nasty to each other :o)• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: - the only acceptable non-cleuce ships are cleo/ghoulia and deuce/clawd. i dont ship either of those bc i ship cleuce way too much but those are allowed to exist in the world. absolutely nothing else• My happily ever after for them: - taking their sweet time getting married, traveling the world beforehand, getting engaged when they’re probably over a hundred years old since they’re both immortal, their wedding is the biggest event ever and a few greek and egyptian gods attend, once they get married they move from a mansion to an even bigger mansion• what is their favorite activity? - obv. they love video games, and i also like to imagine cleo likes watching him cook. she tried helping him once but she hated it so now she just watches and gives him supportive kisses

[mercenarypark]

tf2 mercs and pets

ive been writing on this since yesterday and now im sick of it so heres a lot of words i made to distract myself from my father #animal abuse #abuse #physical abuse #antisemitism #insects #spiders #dogs #cats #birds #snakes #long post #text heavy

-medic, obviously, has a LOT of experience with birds. his mother had a cockatoo that he was basically raised with, and throughout his childhood he would always try to befriend the wild birds around their home [on the occasion he was allowed outside, that is]. in college/med school, he kept up that same trend, earning a less than stellar reputation as "that weird fucker who tries to climb trees around campus to get a better look at the birds’ nests", alongside his other reputations, "the weird gay jew who doesnt understand personal space" and "probably the cause of at least three "disappearances" throughout the semester since they were last seen harassing him"

-BLU engie gets ein[the canary] after a family member dies, they werent particularly close but the guy didnt have a will or any friends willing to take the bird, and engie was basically the closest living relative available [note: only BLU engie has the canary, not RED engie, and he recieves it a few years after joining the mercs]

-pyro kept the dalmation puppy they take in the comics, and he's a big comfort for them, they'll sometimes spend hours just playing with him or hugging him to calm themselves down from a panic attack; funny thing is, no one's entirely sure what pyro NAMED him, not even the people who can usually understand pyro's mumbles[engie, medic, solly, demo]. all 4 of them seem to hear completely different things so theyve just kind of accepted as a group that the dog has four different names that are all equally valid

-pyro also loves a lot of bugs, BLU py had a pet praying mantis for a while until the administrator made everyone move bases again, this time to a much colder climate- they were worried the mantis wouldn't survive the lower temperatures and released it before they left; theyve also kept tarantulas, ants, and stag beetles before -engie is also really into ant keeping and he and pyro bond over that, engie builds big elaborate setups for their ant colonies

-medic talks to birds, a lot, and seems to hold full conversations with them a lot of the time. not just his pigeon flock, either, but any bird- from sparrows to falcons to parakeets

-demo volunteers at the "kitten orphanage" shown in end of the line- hed work at the regular human orphanage too, but... he has too many bad memories of his own time as an "orphan". the kittens all love him, engie will sometimes come by to find demo sprawled on the floor on his back, three kittens on his chest, one asleep on his neck, one kneading its paws on his cheek, one chewing on his shoe...

-medic doesnt understand dogs. hes not scared of them, not really, he just. doesnt understand how they work. he cant read their body language at ALL and he was rarely around them as a child. he's ok with cats, though he still cant understand their body language that well, and sometimes irritates the shyer or more aggressive ones by being too affectionate- he only blames himself for getting scratched/bit though

-spy says he never had pets growing up, which is probably a lie- he just doesnt want to give anyone any information about his childhood and family life. he's mentioned once or twice that he wouldnt mind getting a pet snake, though, which engie thought was fucking hilarious and fitting

-scout actually didnt have pets growing up- her family spent a lot of time trying to make ends meet, and a tiny, shitty apartment w/ her, her ma, and her 7 siblings wasnt exactly an optimal environment for a pet. she always liked cats, though, and mice, and after she joins the mercs she grows to really love birds, too, because theyre Everywhere at the bases

-[RED] demo got his parrot, joyce, from BLU soldier[only RED demo has the birdman of aberdeen in my hcs]. solly found it in a bush somewhere as a chick, and brought it to demo. demo has no fucking clue how the hell jane managed to find a baby parrot out in the badlands, but he winds up taking her in, getting a lot of help from medic to get adjusted [medic is absolutely delighted and fawns over joyce the whole fucking time he loves her so much]

-demo's really worried for the longest time that he wont be able to take care of joyce properly ["i can barely keep myself together, how'm i supposed to keep you alive?"]  but he grows to really love her and she becomes an emotional support animal for him, on some of his worst days he keeps himself from drinking himself into a blackout by keeping her busy and happy

-she becomes even more important to him after the WAR update events, as a living reminder of his old relationship with jane; it hurts him sometimes to look at her and remember the grin on jane's face when she first handed him that parrot chick, but he loves joyce anyway and nothing's gonna change that

-demo also used to own lizards, he's partial to bearded dragons

-both RED and BLU solly are licensed falconers and wildlife rehabilitators. no one's entirely sure how. but its the reason shes allowed to have her Horde of Raccoons and also her fucking bald eagle [note: BLU solly is the one with the Compatriot, RED solly is the one with LT bites and the other raccoons]

-engie grew up with farm animals, because of course. he's good with horses, pigs, cattle, and sheep, and working dogs. one of the times the mercs had their bases relocated, they wound up in texas so RED engie took everyone out to his family's old farm [he pays to have it taken care of while his dad's... gone and he's w/ the mercs]

-spy flips the fuck out when he realizes just how fucking huge hogs are. then someone[scout] absolutely knocks spy into the mud with the pigs and he gets trampled and everyone laughs. also spy is mildly terrified of horses. spy does not have a good time at dell's farm

-speaking of terrified of horses, demo,

well really he's not terrified, hes just distrustful. it takes a long time for tavish to warm up to engie's horses, with a lot of reassuring from dell that hes not doing something wrong

-medic's pigeons are extremely affectionate and loyal to him, first and foremost. at least one or two accompany him at pretty much all times, except for when they're locked into their aviary at night. they also love heavy, scout, and pyro, and like/tolerate everyone else

-heavy loves birds. his family has a lot of chickens, and hes very partial to them; he also has a parakeet, who his sisters take care of while he's with the mercs. RED heavy is the one that finds the red army robin; he sees an injured little bird in the snow and he brings it to medic

-jane “soldier” doe cannot take care of cats or dogs or other normal pets for the life of her but if you hand her an injured wild porcupine and say "hey, how do i take care of this" she'll know exactly what to do; sometimes both soldiers will just come out onto the battlefield bottlefeeding a squirrel or something, and somehow artfully dodge enemy fire while shooting rockets AND feeding a baby animal. how's that for multitasking

-scout's ma, peg, has a cockatiel that she gets after all her children have left the nest, so to speak. scout teaches it to whistle happy birthday and demonstrates that on peg's birthday and its sweet

-heavy has a very specific [canonical, at least w/ "pokernight at the inventory"] childhood memory of watching a boy kill a sparrow, w/ the implication that the memory haunts him a little bit; seeing the injured robin brought that memory to the surface, and it freaked him out more than he'd like to admit. he was kind of panicking when he asked for medic's help, but trying desperately not to show it

-spy hates dogs. he hates horses. he hates insects. he tolerates cats. but most damning of all, he hates birds. thats a big problem with at least half of the base loving or at least liking birds, and with all the pigeons/doves everywhere

-it takes YEARS before spy stops insulting or scolding medic's pigeons every time he gets the chance, and the main reason he stops is because medic absolutely was NOT having it... still though, spy has his limits. he never hurt any of medic's birds, or anyone else's pets, because he may be a mercenary but he does have some standards. mostly

-this is notable, because, hahahhhhhhh. im gonna eventually make a much longer post about this, but medic has a fair amount of Trauma[tm] from dealing with classic heavy's abusive bullshit; the thing is though, cheavy realized quickly that medic could handle being yelled at or physically punished for his mistakes or his worse quirks... but he had a very vulnerable flock of pigeons with him, that he regarded as family and who meant the world to him

-the scene in the comics where cheavy grabs archimedes tight and throws him to the ground was not an isolated incident, is what im saying. though it /was/ one of the more violent ones, since after a few threats and a few times of cheavy proving he absolutely would follow through on his threats, medic got the hint

-through his time working w/ the classics, medic becomes more secluded and on edge, and more prone to breakdowns and fits; and even more protective of his flock, urging them multiple times to fly away and leave him, to find heavy or scout or SOMEONE and stay with them, that he would come back for them when he could[but they always refused to leave him]... the baboon infant incident was a long time coming and he only held off on detonating it as long as he did through sheer willpower and a healthy fear of retribution

-ANYWAY. projecting aside.

-scout /would/ get a cat from the kitten orphanage but shes worried it would try to kill or eat some of medic's doves, since they basically free roam the base; so instead she goes by with demo sometimes to play with the cats and its Good

-ms pauling is a big dog person, and i mean that both in the "she really loves dogs" way and in the "she loves dogs that are Massive" way; she grew up with newfoundlands and bully breeds and shes still got a big soft spot for them; she has two shelter dogs, one's an 11 y/o pit+rottie, the other is a 7 y/o mutt that has some st bernard in it and who's blind in one eye; she spoils them rotten

-engie is really into fishkeeping and after all this merc business is over, he wants to have big fucking tanks installed in his home; hes also surprisingly passionate about the proper treatment of fish, like, he nearly decked spy once for saying betta fish just needed a fishbowl and not a whole aquarium setup

-medic has stolen at least a couple fancy pigeons from pigeon shows, mostly the ones that have been bred to an unhealthy degree to fit show standards, he spends a lot of time trying to give them the best care he can and maybe undo the effects of years of awful breeding 

-i literally dont care about sniper so he gets no headcanons

im tired

[viralhottopics]

Why You Should Stop Reading Self-Help Books

In 2006 Rhonda Byrne published ‘, a book that sold the power of positive thinking as the cure to the woes of the modern world. That book went on to sell more than 19 million copies in 46 different translations and define an entire genre of books, DVD’s, and workshops that make up the world up of self-help.

Byrne wasnt the first person to publish a self-help book. She wasnt even the first in 2006. The self-help world had been alive for over a century and had been a billion dollar industry for over a decade. But that book became the figurehead for a genre of books and products that have become one of those most profitable and predatory industries in the world.

These books are always full of the same old buzzwords and worn out phrases like living in your authentic self” or “living your truth or any other combination of words that fill up pages but dont actually tell you anything. Nevertheless, the self-help world has grown up into a multi-billion dollar industry that lines its pockets thanks to the made up problems of millions of self-help addicts.

You probably know who Im talking about. You might even have a friend that counts as one. Theyre always reading books that talk about their truth and telling anyone that will listen about the power of positive thinking, all while talking about how much their life has changed thanks to [insert book name here].

But have you ever noticed that those same people tend to stay at the same points in their lives? Theres not much upward mobility. At least it doesnt really look that way once you start peeling back the layers.

Sure, if you look at their carefully curated social media profiles, at a first glance things may look like theyre perfect. They have it all together. Theyre constantly making moves, grinding, hustling, or any other mix of annoying internet slang for just staring at a laptop all day long.

But if you really pay attention, are they actually moving forward in life? Are there relationships improving? Are they making more money? Are they putting more into the world than theyre taking out of it? Probably not.

Theyre too busy caught in the vicious circle of problems the world of self-help has told them theyve got. Dont join those people. Quit reading so much self-help. What do I mean by self-help books? This is a surprisingly general question since quite a few books and types of books can fall under this wide umbrella.

To be clear, when Im talking about self-help, Im not talking about psychology or philosophy books. Though those could definitely be considered self-help. Those take a bit of a deeper approach and tend to leave you asking more questions by the end than you even knew existed.

Psychology and philosophy, while expanding your island of knowledge, also make you painfully aware of your ocean of ignorance. No, when I talk about self-help Im talking about the cannibalistic genre that promises to pull back the veil on your innermost problems and provide the fix overnight. The kind of book that tells you youve got a problem and the only way to solve this problem is by buying this very book. THAT is the kind of genre Im talking about here. And if youve read these books, you know it never stops at one.

Once youve read one, they probably name drop a few books that are the only cure for other problems within that you immediately add to your Amazon cart. And then you talk to a few friends who have other recommendations because they had their lives radically changed by a similar book, so you add that as well. Before you know it, youve got 12 books waiting for you to crack open. And youre only just getting started because more recommendations are flooding in. Especially because Amazon has figured out this is what youre buying, so they show you more of this kind of book.

Its like everywhere you turn youre realizing you have all these fucked up problems, and people are offering the book that holds the solution.

This process is cannibalistic. Im not saying people dont have problems. In fact, people are endlessly fucked up in a myriad of ways. We all have our trauma that we have to deal with and work through. We all have issues that impact our day to day lives, our relationships, and our careers. And this is why the self-help genre was born. Because some people did have real solutions, that if you acted on them, would actually help you.

But over the course of decades, the genre has grown into this cannibalistic entity that sustains itself on the same repeat customers buying books from the same authors, constantly searching for happiness like its this endpoint theyll magically reach. And thats fucked.

Happiness isnt an end point. Its not like your vacation where you drive for what feels like years to finally get to the beach where you can kick back and drink all day long.

Life doesnt work that way. But dont tell the world of self-help that. They sell books with the underlying message saying that once you read this book youll solve your problem and youll finally be happy. Except you wont. Because in that book youll hear about a couple of other books that address problems you didnt know you had.

So what should you do instead of reading self-help books? First things first, if youve actual problems then you need to see a professional. The world would be a better place if more of us were open and willing to see a psychiatrist or therapist. That should be the first move you make instead of self-diagnosing and trying to solve a problem with a backpack full of books.

Im not an advocate of book burning, so as much as I would like to tell you to go burn all of your self-help books, Im not going to do that. That would be folly of me. Go take them to some local library or place where you can donate them. That would be a good move on your part. Make that happen. Next, go to your local bookstore and seek out some great fiction. If you havent ever read it, read , , Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and especially read Vonnegut.

Take your time and work through some of the classics. Read things that you were told to read in high school, but your eyes glazed over. Youll have a much greater appreciation for the books now, I promise you.

All that matters is that you read fiction. Why? Because fiction offers a real road map to changing your life. A far more effective road map than any self-help or personal development book can. Which sounds crazy, right? But the truth is, we as humans have evolved to understand the world through stories. Stories are by far and away the most effective way we can understand the world, what is happening, and come to grips with reality.

Aside from the predatory nature of the self-help genre, they get this fundamental fact about humans wrong. The self-help world has done great in recognizing that one of the primary motivating factors for people is pain, and using that pain to peddle their wares.

But where theyve fucked up is they tend to hit people with loads of information and very little context. And thats the exact opposite of how we as humans have evolved to make sense of the world. We spend all day every day telling ourselves stories about our lives. Theres even a psychological phenomenon that speaks this very occurrence called the narrative bias. We unwittingly seek out stories in movies and TV. And when someone does a story well, it tends to blow up. Primarily because the story has touched on something deep inside us that can only be reached via story form.

Stories provide us with both an example of how to deal with reality and an escape from reality. They transport you into another world where the characters are dealing with problems you may not even be able to relate to, until you start to take a broad view of things and realize that each and every one of us has a dragon we have to slay, much like our favorite fictional character.

They stretch your imagination. They give you new ideas. They frame old problems in new ways, presenting solutions that may have never been available to you if your nose was buried in all this time. And that is real value. That is learning how humans were meant to learn.

Read more: http://tcat.tc/2oT70DZ

from Why You Should Stop Reading Self-Help Books

[themagicaltunaa]

You must answer everything tuna

Wow thats a lot a questions

alright lets do this 

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

IZZY NO

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Never kissed anyone like that so???? ok theres a lot of questions with relationship or kissing shit so im just gonna put this ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ every time i see one that i cant really answer

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

hmm I don't really know??????

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yup

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

nope i dont think ive ever wanted anyone

7. What does your last received text say?

is this you?

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

9. Where was your last kiss at?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

never because i dont have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

coffee. cant start the day without coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my room

13. Do you think relationships are hard? 

tbh yeah

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

oh my god yes theres so many things that i regret doing my dude. hell just let me go back one day im fine with that

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy because it give an excuse to just stay in my house and lay in bed all day

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

oh man i hope not. i feel bad for anyone that has the same middle name as me

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

basketball shorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

no

20. Does anyone like you?

lol no

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

myself

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

nope

25. In the past week have you cried?

dude i cry at least 5 times a week. last time i cried because i didnt have any mac n cheese to eat with my chicken nuggets

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

a black lab!

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

outside of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ also i hope you mean like before theyve played because holy shit im pretty sure someone could die standing next to one of them. you ever been near a football player after a game??? most disgusting smell ever like fucking hell its so bad

29. Do you think you’re old?

im not even 20 yet so no

30. Do you like text messaging?

id rather talk face to face with friends. im not so good with keeping up with texting

31. What type of day are you having?

ive been having the same lazy day for the past 2 months. its never gonna end

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

nope

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold. id rather freeze than die in the floridian heat

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

lol nope

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

a relationship. never understood flings

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

both. im horrible

37. What song are you listening to?

nothing atm, but these two songs have been playing on repeat in my head for the past week

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

it depends

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

hmmm 

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i dont like anyone so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41. When did you last receive a text message?

at 10 AM

42. What is wrong with you right now?

Everything my dude, everything.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

ive known them since middle school so pretty well????

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

nope 

46. Are you in a good mood right now? 

i dont remember the last time i was in a good mood

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? 

my mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? 

black

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah my mom yesterday

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no??

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yeah a few times with some people. there are some that i have finally given up on tho and i feel a lot better now

53. Do you like rain?

yes!

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

as long as they dont do it too much im fine with it

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

nope ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

56. Do you like to cuddle?

no

57. Are you shy?

very

58. Do you get along with girls?

it depends really??? hmm yeah i guess i get along with other girls a little better than guys but thats not saying much because im terrified of talking to people anyways.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and my headphones

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

bruh i dont care if i get killed by a ghost or some shit thats 1 million dollars imagine what i can do with that money. like its either i die from like a heart attack from seeing my own shadow in a haunted house or i get 1 million dollars its a win win situation

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

lmao hell no

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cats exist thats the cute thing that happened

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

neither

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?  

i dont even have a car

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

neither. also whos luke bryan?

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?

android

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

man i havent had any in like 4, maybe 5 years???? good thing im getting some on my bday courtesy of my friend

73. Do you like diet soda?

ew no

74. What color are the walls in your room?

theyre the same purple that theyve been since middle school

75. Are you 16 or older?

yup, turning 20 this month

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

nope

77. Do you have a job?  

nope :\

78. What are your initials?

AC

79. Did you ever have braces?

nope. my mom was never able to afford them

80. Are you from the south?

well im from south florida. is florida even considered part of the south????? like im pretty sure florida is its own thing

 81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

dont have one

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

definitely my mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

nope

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

the lego batman movie. 10/10 would recommend

86. Do you smoke?

ew no

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops

88. Is your phone touch screen?

yeah???

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

curly

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

i cant even walk out of my room at 2 in the morning without my mom waking up and telling me to go to sleep. also im pretty sure my mom would beat me with a chancleta just for thinking of sneaking out

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

i prefer beach but pool is good too i guess

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 

93. …Had sex in a car?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿   ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

on youtube watching lets plays

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

new years

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

eh its not as good as an iphone camera but i dont take pictures so yeah i could care less about the camera

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

i dont drink

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i dont have facebook

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ dont you have to have sex in order for that to happen ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: 

?

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

nope i lost them ages ago. im so pale

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

   1. i dont like wearing shorts 

   2. why would i ever wear cowboy boots

   3. why the fuck would i wear cowboy boots with shorts like yall think im gonna walk around lookin like that i look like a hot mess 110% of the time what makes you think i can pull that off. yeah lemme walk around with my pasty ass white legs showin and boots, lookin like the saddest goblin cowgirl you’ll ever lay your eyes on. no thanks.

ok i think im done for the day

[isaacathom]

i still dunno for what reason AHC would have any interest in a country west of Thyssia. shit, historically, their relationship was probably exclusively with ‘east Thyssia’ so that when it was conquered and merged into what is now Thyssia, AHC was probably pissy about that. its probably what, in a delayed way, prompted the political marriage of Adelaide to Erick. to say ‘listen, us hating you because you were west thyssians and conquering our friends, thats behind us, we cool now ya?’ and they were probably also friends with countries to the east, like farther east than anything else in the story.

so what would they have with the west? specifically a small country between Thyssia and the west buckos. it could be a more idealogical alliance than a ‘we were buds’ thing, i suppose. like, more to do with globalization and the access to stories than anything. if the little country is one that recently sought independence from the westerners, perhaps, then maybe AHC decided to support this, since AHC is similarly proud of continuing to exist as its own entity as opposed to a part of a greater Thyssia. (which could happen in the far future, depending on how Thyssia and AHC react to Adelaide’s fucking chicanery)

so, that could work. at some point, a different ethnic group or different ideological views formed within the west, and in recent times (like, the last 50 years or so) theyve sought independence from the west. AHC, as a country proud of remaining its own entity, ruled only by itself, supports them in this drive, admittedly in a from afar, gentle back pat sorta way. platitudes, right. and perhaps the ‘current’ (20 odd years ago) independence was an easing method. like how russia became the soviet union ‘as it transitioned into a fully communist country’. that didnt happen, but its a similar idea.

so, sizeable group in the west demands independence from the west, AHC supports, and the West enters a state of compromise. the borders are determined and the new state is formed, but it functionally remains a subsidiary of the West. sorta like a colony, i guess? still under Western control, they run the place legally, like the big wigs, but the new country can elect its own officials and has its own government, except that government ultimately must answer to the Western one. its a taste of their freedom. this lil state is fucking stoked. they immediately begin on securing deals and trade with other countries independent of the West, since the West clearly has different friends. and one of their first ports of call would be AHC, since it was very open in its ideological support for the countries independence. it makes sense, yknow.

so, they become allies with AHC, with deals in place for trade and such. most of AHC’s items that it trades to NG (new guys, fuck it) would be items it recieved elsewhere, basically giving NG access to the world that it cant access just yet on its own. plans begin for an NG regional airport, allowing it to access countries that lil bit further off, likely via Thyssia or the West, since Thyssia likely has a pretty big regional airport. theres also the neutral country to the north west which could be a major regional hug (hence the negotiations being placed there later) and all that fun jazz. because, well, all that sort of global infrasctructure is located within the West’s borders, and while the citizens of NG technically hold a dual citizenship and can use these things from the west, they want that independence, gotta build their own.

but, theres clearly rules about it, and one of those rules is probably a No Military thing. the West doesnt want NG to have a military of their own. but its probably blanket too, like no military forces at all. from anyone. no armies. nada.

then the West gets antsy. they dont wanna let go of the land NG has, not really, its got access to the coast that the West always appreciates, and they probably start pushing strange restrictions to try and retain control. greater access to NG for the west, that sorta thing, stuff thats one sided and doesnt benefit the NG much at all. and NG starts prickling, and they call in AHC to help. and AHC is confident that this all be easy, send an ambassador, a few armed people to protect them, easy peasy, no worries. now, a few is a non definite number. 20 is a bit more than a few.

so the West gets really antsy. there are armed people in NG, ostensibly supporting NG against the West, this is war, they get real pissy about this. which is fair, because 20 is overmuch and AHC is clearly overstepping its boundaries substantially.

and thus, the war begins.

though, if this is what happens, and that the war began due to AHC overstepping its boundaries in an attempt to protect another countries independence, what happened to the lil country by the end? since, it was a 4 year war, with Thyssia stepping in and protecting AHC and NG with its faarrrr superior military force. then, after 4 years, a ceasefire was arranged, and King Erick made his naive decision to, i guess drive through NG to reach the neutral country in which negotiations were being held? idk. depends our far back inland NG reaches, if NG is a tiny thing snuggled on the coast then it was probably driving through the north western tip of Thyssia.

but then, because Erick was killed, and its determined that it was Western soldiers who did it, the war breaks out anew between the West and Thyssia, or, more pertinently, between Adelaide and The World. so what become of NG? well, if it was IN NG that Erick died, NG has gotta help out, theyre desperate to not seem shit, theyre incredibly helpful, but, well, are they still at war??? idk. esp if its not on their soil, if Erick died in Thyssia’s north west. do they independently reach for peace with the West while they battle Thyssia?

probably. the problem is, they were trying to reach peace with Thyssia’s help, and Thyssia cannot help them negotiate peace now because Thyssia is basically beyond negotiation for a fair while. so Thyssia probably brings in either AHC or another neutral country to support it, and they’d reach peace with the West. i think NG still exists. they won the war, essentially, though it was p much wholly due to Thyssia stepping in to help AHC help them, yknow.

so NG is still around. theyre probably still allied to both AHC and Thyssia. the west wont dare touch them now. they’ve been fully separated and made independent. thats cool.

it does sorta make the west into full on assholes, like indefinite dicks, but if i wanted i could make it be due to a leader and not the country? besides, the assassination of Erick was not government mandated. they cant explain how it happened, because they honestly dont know, but it was honestly just some rebellious assholes pissed that Thyssia stepped into a conflict that wasnt theres and started bossing everyone around, and they saw erick in his car and went ‘we;re in’ and blew him up. they were probably members of the Western military, but not acting under their orders, they basically went rogue.

yea. sure. so that mean the west are dicks. but if its just a particular leader, like one elected group that were subsequently removed, that could work. for instance, right, i feel a typical term of government is 3-5 years. so lets so its 5 years. that encompasses the entirety of the first 4 years of the war and the bits before, so it can include a build up of increased tension regarding the independence of NG. then, like a few months before the ceasefire, the West has an election and the party is like, tooootally removed, everyone just goes ‘are yall fucking stupid’ and votes them out. and the new party is desperate to right the wrongs, hence the subsequent ceasefire and attempt at peace that is thwarted by rogue soldiers, possibly the supporters of the previous government.

that government, the one that failed at peace because it couldnt ‘adequately explain how such an incident occurred), they probably stay in power at the next election, because any outrage over that incompetence has probably faded and been replaced with a frustration with Thyssia (or, Adelaide) refusing peace talks. so, theyre good.

on Thyssia’s end.... idk. their politicians probably remained the same in the lead up to and the first 4 years of the war. maybe even the beginning of the next 7 year portion, the Thyssia-West war. technically two separate wars. its at the elections during that war that Thyssia also makes a push for this stupid shit to end. Yes, Erick was killed, thats awful, but if this continues there wont BE a West. you tell someone youre Thyssian and they laugh. theyre the scorn of the world.

eventually it ends. but noones pushing for Adelaide’s deposition yet. but thats 90% because they dont want Jackson to be king yet. they want him to be king, of course, the speeches he’s been making in the recent years have connected well with the people and they think he’ll do well. its just that he’s still a teenager and he’s emotionally fragile, and everyones sympathetic about it. dont push him in yet.

then, of course, Jackson turns like 24 and everyones like ‘well.... he’s got his emotions in control.. he’s an adult.... the throne is his by right.... the fucks going on’

in hindsight, everyones pretty sure they shouldve pushed for Duke Andrew to take the throne. thats the big mistake, lmao