#am i too weird?
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#i feel like I'm someone that nobody cares about past just casual buddy#it's really easy to befriend someone but i feel like no one really thinks of me as special or anything that is deeper#no one invites me to go out#no one thinks of me as a potential partner#no one wants to just spend time with me#I'm always the one invited last if i am#and even then no one really pays attention to me#It's like there's a barrier between me and the rest of the world#my bf didn't want to be my bf anymore but wanted me to still be a friend#am i annoying?#am i too much?#am i too weird?#why don't people like me as much as i like them#everyone likes other people more than me and it freaken hurts#I'm always gonna be the weird one#no one will ever love me#at least not to the extent i love them#i think the reason i identified as asexual for the longest time was a way for me to justify this feeling#that I'm not desirable to anyone#and it seems I'm not#and now I'm halfway across the globe from anyone that could give me the comfort i need#all i can do is distract myself#but it's getting old#i get upset and go watch YouTube videos#i haven't accomplished anything#all i want is someone to cuddle me
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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You guys are commenting on the fics you read right? You’re at least leaving kudos on the Astarion smut and the pairs that have less than 20 fics for them too? You’re bookmarking stories you really like that are still being updated and ones that haven’t been touched in over a year right?
You know that even the smallest interactions are like cocaine to fic writers right? You understand how important a string of emoji hearts left behind on a chapter at three am is right?? Right????
You’re treating AO3 like a community and not a content factory….right?
#this isnt bg3 specific btw im seeing a lot of fandoms rotting cause of this#ao3#archive of our own#bg3 fanfiction#bg3#PLEASE YOU GUYS INTERACT WITH THE THINGS YOU READ#you’re not being weird or annoying!!! it doesn’t matter how old the fic is!!!#you can just say ‘I love this’ or ‘it’s three am and I haven’t slept yet cause I was reading this’#you can copy and paste a paragraph you like and add ‘!!!!!!’ after it#theories in the comments! mention when you think you’ve found foreshadowing!!!#if there’s a part where you have to physically put your phone down and smile off into the distantce? TELL THE AUTHOR#you can leave comments every chapter too!!! ITS NOT ANNOYING
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LINKTOBER DAY 20: ZORA WELLSPRING
Sidon plays packhorse. Link and Zelda play with electricity and water. Everybody leaves happy except for the fried aerocuda.
(Something’s in the water temple.)
This is a self indulgent totk au called Familiar Familiar where link and zelda travel through upheaval hyrule! Masterpost can be found here:
Patreon here too, if you wanna feed me a slice of bread like a duck
#art#critdraws#lonks diary#familiar familiar au#loz#zelda#link#botw#totk#totk au#botw au#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#sidon#prince sidon#aerocuda#mucktorok#botw link#botw zelda#botw sidon#totk sidon#totk link#totk zelda#look the mucktorok is a genuinely fascinating weird little guy#i may hate that boss fight but its pochita esque pulsating heart thing is COOL okay#anyways the weird gravity thing happens too i just couldnt fit it into the script#((also yes!! those r yonas gifts from the last comic being put in use. everybody say ty yona)#i am never designing architecture ever again get ready for milktoast for the next to regions#loz comic
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week
#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too#also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it#i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff#but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions#and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones)#i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people)#i would be more inclined to still ID as ace#but anyways!#aro#aromantic#<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote#also#described in alt text#also also#j tag#:/#aro media
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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rain or shine i'm by your side so why won't you look my way
#parkour civilization#parkour civilization fanart#parkciv#evbo#seawatt#seavbo#minecraft#minecraft art#third version posted!!!!!!!!#good morning it is 8 am and i actually spent 2 hours marinating in bed#body clock fucked as hell wdym im automatically waking up 6 am on weekends now#well alright time to post more of them!!!!!!!!🌈🌈🍭🍭#has anybody noticed the weathergirl flavor foley captions#i looooove weathergirl Omg#i had it on loop when i made this piece#my original idea was to actually just have evbo alone!!!!#a weird yearning that he just cant seem to understand!!!!#an unknown want for someone thts been long gone but he doesnt want to acknowledge it!!!!#might get into mavbo slash darkstar too lowkey
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Yeah, he don't bite. Instead, he'll atomic breath you
He's still a lil baby :)
This image just immediately made me think of them:
#godzilla#godzilla x kong: the new empire#godzilla minus one#mv godzilla being a doting big bro he is#he knows Minus One is destructive lil gremlin#but he still loves his lil baby bro#probs spoils him a bit too much#i wonder why he never treated Ultima such way#Is it because Ultima is the second youngest??#we'll never know#but just know that Goji loves his bros...#kinda...#in his own way#lol#anyway Minus One is a lil gremlin#a very evil one that is....#why am i typing this weird story lore thingy here on tags#??????#it's past midnight#i shud sleep#do not repost#my art
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#interview with the vampire#loumand#iwtv#vampterview#louis de pointe du lac#armand#iwtvedit#tvedit#assad zaman#jacob anderson#cw smoking#flashing gif#iwtv spoilers#*gif#truly disgusting 😭 okay but why am i sad?#god dubai lighting pissed me off so much. why is it so inconsistent and weird? anyway i gave up. i no longer care#was supposed to post two gifsets but wasted too much time on dubai lighting 😡#vampchives
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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#hey guys this is getting popular so I just wanna say this is about ME liking the AMERICAN FLAG#i feel stupid for liking the American flag (and many ppl in the replies of this seem to agree LOL) so I wanted to make a funny about it#people are WEIRD to u if u like the American flag even in this community!!#I’m not attacking the objectum community or whatever I am making fun of myself for liking the AMERICAN FLAG because it’s STUPID!!#the joke is that it is the American flag#people are being WAY too mean to me about this#objectum#objectophilia#objectum community#objectum sexuality#osor#os/or#posic#my art#ms paint tag#100#200#300#400#500
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i think what i adore about ladynoir beyond high school age (18 and over) is the opportunity it leaves for some of the most DELICIOUS best friends to lovers scenarios. because, like, two people who've been fighting side by side for years? who've known each other long enough to make jokes about it, haha remember when we were fourteen and you-- we AGREED to never speak of it!!!! who've spent so long learning each other inside out, even, in chat noir's case, getting over feelings, that the idea of anything romantic between them is so far off the radar that they don't feel the need for certain boundaries, because why would it matter if they made jokes about how attractive they find each other, about getting married, about how they could totally mess with the rest of the miracle team by pretending they're hooking up because it's so far out of the realm of possibility.
but then there would be that imperceptible shift. the moment where one of them makes a joke and it feels just a bit more loaded than it should. gazes lingering where they never lingered and playful smiles turning curious. the sudden awareness that, while maybe they were cuddling on a rooftop with their best friend, they were also wrapped up in the arms of someone they trust with their lives, and is extremely attractive, and, wait, if the only reason it was platonic before was because there were no feelings, what does THIS mean?
THE TENSION. THE PINING. THE INHERENT MESS OF BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES. PLEASEEEE
#as i go through more things in life i ache for ladynoir to experience it too#i want them to be at a grocery store and for him to reach out to tickle her and she turns around and makes a joke but their gazes linger way#too knowingly#i want them to sit down and have a 'okay like this is so tmi but isnt the concept of sex so weird??' conversation#i want them to joke about starting a podcast together#make impulsive amazon purchases that make no sense#find a song that one of them hate and then continuously play it on loop#compare spotify profiles and one of them steals the other's login to sabotage their spotify wrapped for the year#do you know i am so normal about ladynoir#♡alizeh talks♡#tagged:ladynoir
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lostinthebookwithstitch.jpg
this is all I can muster right now, too busy having my brain absolutely melted by the September schedule, what is happening
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with stitch#so if i understand this correctly the next episode 7 bit is dropping in like a WEEK?!#and this is just going to be happening during the extra stitch pickup?!#i thought it was weird that they were doing such a long post-event pickup I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS#and they just snuck that little announcement in there before the absolute madness of OH YEAH AND NON-NRC GUYS CAN HAVE CARDS TOO NOW#the POSSIBILITIES this opens up#i did not think i would be so glad not to get a new episode 7 card but i need these keys for my second chance at masquerade malleus#and this is before we even know anything about the new halloween event except for johnny honestman and gidenyan#or the details on the platinum birthday cards#twst please you CAN'T do this to me#by which i mean yes please keep doing this i am loving every second of it
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painting test with a limited color palette
here's the moon equivalent!
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#hm... no character tags. guess!#really put off posting this since i had no clue what to write for the image id... but it turned out to be fairly easy. sorry if its bad tho#i've been having a falling out with this series recently#its hard for me to like it these days. like theres still a lingering bit of affection for it#but i cant help but wonder if its time to move on from it. hm#i know im probably talking about it in a weird way but... its always been mentally distressing to leave my interests behind!!#sigh.. i know this blog is fairly ''big'' but idk if i'd be missing out on much by leaving. considering how isolated i am from the communit#and also how much i tend to dislike the majority of the community too. hm#eh who knows... we'll see
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