#all of you are super cool! and im just some random person on tumblr

[spookuzm]

TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!! ♥️♥️♥️

I never really thought you guys would like me that much, honestly. But I love all of you so so much!!!

[aztarion]

hiii jez, your sol tag is incredible and i love everything about her!! best aesthetic & best most fucked up vampire bbgirl of all time <3 do you have any interesting facts or random tidbits of lore about her that you are willing to share or link me to? wish to know everything & more about her asap tysm 🥰

whaaaat hi bree!! 😭 that oc tag is so thrown together and unorganised girl youre insane putting yourself through that but omfg its til death do us part now 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

i dont really post writing with my ocs much on tumblr but i blabbered for like an hour here im so sorry in advance i hope its a little entertaining…. tw for ed mention and self harm but its just your regular vtm stuff if youre familiar with the background ttrpg

soledad is her courier alias, she usually goes by that or the inevitable nickname sol, which doubles as a small remnant of her old life — her real name is solona ^^

she is first gen mexican-filipina, grew up in california before moving to arizona

didn’t care for academics much; preferred working with her hands — she dropped out of studies as soon as it was acceptable and went into business training under her dad and older brother as a mechanic

very laidback, easygoing, quietly contented; never had sprawling ambitions or aspirations and she was cool with that (was and is a little bit of a perfectionist with her work tho). this created a wedge with her mom who did nawt like the notion of her only daughter wasting prime years and a pretty face in a dingy garage. (i never get it *exactly* how i want in art & have never found a faceclaim i love, but i kinda picture her overall look as like. a timeless, slightly restless sort of dark beauty; like her eyes are always trying to tell you something in spite of herself, even when she looks totally serene lol)

anyway! one of moms fears are realized — sol ends up with a very noticeable facial scar (semi glasgow smile? mouth to under ear and a little further than that even, cheek just super spliced) due to an accident in the garage. sad! oh well she’s the joker now (or she will be after julian)

wait actually while im yapping about backstory i deviate a little from the game options just to make things more juicy and personal but! to me she first meets julian having to work on his suzuki and they hit it off. pre-night road as mentioned she is very easygoing — easily charmed and is herself charming — they def get along like a house on fire. julian would no doubt mentally take note of her whole roll-with-the-punches, laissez-faire attitude — naturally that just seems like a quality that might come in handy when you bite someone and turn them into a creature of the night. also the attentive, methodical approach she takes to her work, and when needed, her on the spot workarounds — he doesn’t want some dumb unreliable chump childe. and alright bear with him here: so it’s not relevant strictly in terms of her being thee potential great american embrace candidate he may be planning for right now, but man shes kiiiiinda cute and the scar is kiiiiiiiinda badass and its kiiiiinda hot that she knows exactly what she’s doing under the hood.…….Julian’s of course no slouch but he prefers it when others are doing the dirty work for him and she knows her stuff. so he’s thinking yeah this might work out. wait did she just say she plays nintendo too — oh this is definitely working out.

well it didn’t work out — sol ends up caitiff. julian accidentally botched her embrace 👍 whoops. but he teaches her blood sorcery as soon as possible — she can fly under the radar as a regular banu haqim. so it does work out! the sire/childe bond likely did some heavy lifting in terms of their relationship but sol was still pretty dopey heart eyes for julian in the beginning, like truly thought he was brilliant and funny and followed whatever he said no questions — really trusted him, figured with him being more experienced and so whipsmart and knowledgeable that he was utterly infallible. julian knew best and like didn’t he keep her safe trying to cover for the whole clanless thing……how could he have anything but Good Intentions dot dot dot……

in the decade after julian goes MIA, sol’s entire demeanor takes a nosedive. in the ingame text, julian and d’espine are described as being ‘fledgling-like’ in that they still have that liveliness to them, like a constant subtle Blush of Life effect. sol had that too in the years w julian, but after so long alone and having to maintain that isolation in order to ghost by in both the human world and undead while drugrunning & couriering, she gets cold — corpse and mind. outwardly she’s very composed; there’s little to no animation (no once-effortless smile, not even a ghost of the dimple in her unscarred cheek ! ) but her inner monologue is distrustful, has aged — is honestly a little paranoid and bitter sometimes — and overly nervous where she once would never have been. when julian returns it’s noted how young he still seems in comparison. that doesnt help the grudge she holds

i think her nerves skyrocket even more so when she feels aila stir. while u cant choose merits/flaws in night road like the table top, i feel like she would have the bulimic derangement that causes a kindred to gorge or throw up blood at random after feeding due to stress — she’s literally just THAT internally anxious. the game makes a point ensuring youre well fed on your next visit to tucson’s elysium since you showed up starving at the beginning, but after the office confrontation with lettow asking what happened to aila — which despite going successfully & having an excellent relationship with him — sol still probably LEGS it out of the viper once dove interrupts and ends up vomiting in an alley before jumping in her car🤦‍♀️ so much for paying alexander to acquire blood and making a good impression this time…..what a waste. and u know what Riga probably saw the whole mortifying ordeal too smh

ok im sorry i could talk abt the entire game like this i have so many headcanons

ooh straight up just facts & a little tldr:

so she’s 5’8; long pretty neck, slim hourglass figure with soft heavy curves, distinctly confident arms and legs, various tattoos: depictions of scorpions and snakes, the sun, spanish and tagalog script in black and red ink. she’s around whatever Julian’s human age wouldve been, i guess mid twenties range

is Julian’s Childe but due to a botched embrace ends up caitiff. masquerades as a banu haqim that, when in the presence of more prejudiced vampire society, in turn masquerades as something traditionally camarilla-fronting: malk/toreador/ventrue, whatever. it’s complicated! por los clavos de cristo does she wish she was back in that shitty little garage 20 yrs ago

throws up when nervous; is constantly a little hungry and risking an oops moment but for the most part maintains iron composure — its become a whittled and useful hard shell

learns blood sorcery right off the bat from julian, learns protean from lettow after staking reremouse w him. she usually keeps things clean and impersonal with a gun and deft precision (and elena with more guns!) but she still likes working with her hands: in close combat, especially when it involves other supernaturals, she keeps elena out of the fight and doubles up that weird combo of blood sorcery + protean — is frankly just a messy blur of slit wrists bloody sigils and slashing claws. (ough wanna draw this ugly visual so bad but omg i just know it wouldn’t work out w my skillset rn)

omg i feel like ive gone on forever in a bunch of directions while saying nothing helpp. ill stop here and spare you! thank you so much for asking bree!! :D <3 you have to tell me about your courier now!!

^ us night roading

[malarkgirlypop]

Misc. Tag Game! ✨

thank you for the tags @1waveshortofashipwreck

Made by the amazing @ronald-speirs 💖

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Just went to Japan and Korea and it was so fucking amazing.

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Finishing my nursing, getting a job. Like go me, get that big girl job!

Favourite books?

Trial by Fire, I will never not brag about it!

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

This one person I'm getting to know at the moment. Ah they are the best, literally makes me feel so good.

Favorite thing about your culture? About being American?

Um I am not an American. But NZ is so cool, we are super chill, such a vibe. I'm here for bringing back Māori culture into New Zealand!

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I think it was August 2023. Band of brothers was the first show I watched with my friend.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favourite?

No I haven't. I want to, but im so busy rn. Maybe later.

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Ah all I have to say is Malarkey, and just all Malarkey things ever. Please and thank you.

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

A little, only a teeny tiny amount, only small, not much, hardly any, it doesn't fill my whole brain all the time. I don't constantly live in a fictional story i am writing, I don't know what you're talking about.

Favourite actor/actress and your favourite film of theirs?

Sebastian Stan, The Winter Soldier. like why he so hot. He also scared the shit out of me in Fresh, but that was also a good movie.

Favourite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"I'm tired of this Grandpa!"

"Well that's too damn bad!"

Holes, 2003.

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I have no filter on here so there is nothing I don't think people know about me.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

what's that? I'm confused.

Three things that make you smile?

My friends

BoB

A really special person

Any nicknames you like?

Kate doesn't have any nicknames, but because of my hair my dad calls me Floss, like candy floss!

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@panzershrike-pretz @ithinkabouttzu @executethyself35 @ronsparky @venus-haze @joetoyesbrassknuckles101 @footprintsinthesxnd @mutantmanifesto @jump-wings @mads-nixon @blueberry-ovaries @b00ks1ut @next-autopsy @1waveshortofashipwreck @paula-912 @brassknucklespeirs

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Be a zombie

Favourite movie?

All movies, any movie, I'm good at entertaining myself with bad movies.

Do you like horror movies?

I do, but I'm still scared.

No pressure tags:

@georgieluz, @b00ks1ut, @blueberry-ovaries, @next-autopsy @land-sh @grumpy-liebgott @venus-haze @goneandbackagain

[aromanticgarbage]

Hi!!! What do you honestly like about our boy Joji? What got you into him? Favorite song? Favorite quote from him?? Cool blog BTW. ❤️

Hiiiii <33333

Putting this under a read more because it got long af.

God i think part of the reason why im so obsessed with him is the duality of his character and artistic expression. He used to describe himself as conflicted a lot, especially in his earlier interviews and that pretty much hits the nail in the head i think. I love both his music and filthy frank a lot but I wouldn't be so fascinated with the person behind either of these things if they weren't made by the same guy. I just think he is a fascinating character.

What got me into him? I'm honestly pretty late to the party, i stumbled upon slow dancing in the dark on some random playlist at some point mid 2023. Slow dancing in the dark got famous for a reason: its so fucking good, i was playing it on a loop for weeks. Later i stumbled upon pretty boy, once again by pure chance. I was playing it on loop for a looong time as well. I hadn't even noticed that both of these songs were by the same artist at the time.

Fast forward a few months later, someone i follow here on tumblr dot com rebloged a post that expressed ops utter bafflement that filthy frank had turned his career around so dramatically and that he was a "sadboy musician now". The term slursona was thrown around. The ballads 1 album cover was included in the post and i recognised it imediatelly but i also recognised the name filthy frank.

You see, back in the day my older sister was a huge fan. She was really into this era of youtube bless her heart but ff was one of her faves. She had showed me human ramen AND hair cake back then but i was pretty young and I didn't really speak english well enough to fully understand what was going on. Nonetheless, i was morbidly fascinated but i never got into ff myself. Still i knew who he was.

Finding out that i was listening to his music a DECADE later from a random tumblr post gave me the whiplash of my fucking life. I genuinely got so scared i went and removed sditd from my character playlists and spotify liked songs lol. I let that revelation shimmer within me for a few months until one day i finally decided that i should do some research on the matter. I think i watched the slow dancing in the dark mv first and it completely blew me away. Then i watched the weeaboos video and it made me cry from laughter.

Somehow i ended up listening to his entire discography and watching Every Single filthy frank video ever made. At some point i discovered the notorious filthy frank exposes himself video and that once again blew my mind. I realised that he was the one who accidentally started the harlem shake trend back in 2013. Blew my mind. I listened to pink season ans i realised that the help song ive been seeing around since forever was a pink guy song. Blew my mind. I went home for the holidays and i talked to my other sister about my newfound obsession. Turns out she knew him from glimpses of us. Blew her mind too. Talked to my brother, he knew him from glimpses of us as well. We were all screaming about it for a few days.

This whole phase of mine started at some point in March and its only been getting worse. I don't know how we got here but im not complaining.

If i had to choose a favourite song.... sanctuary is my most listened to song of the year so far, so i probably have to go with that but also sditd, you suck Charlie, like you do, pretty boy, yukon, Mr Hollywood, no fun, demons, see you in 40, nightrider, modus (just to name a few)..... they all hold a very special place in my heart... I just love pretty much most of his songs a whole lot.

As for favourite quote im afraid I don't have a super serious answer to this question fjdksdks. "I just wanna make people sad and horny" is a strong one but also "sorry for being An Fag" and "fucking everyone smokes weed in central park...." fascinate me to no end.

Thank you so much for your questions !! <33 its always nice to have an excuse to ramble tehe.

[mariska]

super random specific thing for me to ramble abt on tumblr lmao but. just woke up a lil bit ago, chillin in the living room, waiting for my "morning" medications dose (i woke up at noon today but. yknow. First Meds Of The Day Regardless, lol) to kick in so i can go brush my teeth and change into clean clothes and i usually keep something on tv as like 'background noise/visuals' whenever i'm waiting for meds to kick in, or just kind of in general when im in the living room by myself and not doing any kind of specific task, and usually i put it on like disney channel/disney xd/nick/cartoon network etc etc U Guys Know Me U Get The Idea, I Enjoy Cartoons And Such.

one of my moms must have been watching tv before i woke up today though cus it was on the Science Channel (not Syfy but the one thats abbreviated like 'SCI' in the corner) and when i first turned the tv on it was playing a show about unanswered theories/questions as to how things in the universe work, which is a topic that is one of my absolute fav special interests, so i was like. ooooh ok no cartoons for me today i will be listening to this tv show relay information that i have mostly already heard before bcus I Like That Kinda Stuff (previous episode was abt black holes as a topic which i personally think is almost always fun to hear abt since so many ppl have so many different theories regarding what a hypothetical 'journey' through/into a black hole might include and also all the people talking abt it were specifically including the fact that they were theories and we do not as a whole have a definite scientific answer yet to a lot of specific information abt what happens to an astronomical object of any kind deep into a black hole which i respect, i hate when ppl on these kinda shows voice theories and then are like 'and you just simply cant deny it! thats the only logical conclusion!' NO!!! THATS NOT SCIENCE. anyways. LMFAO)

REGARDLESS THAT IS NOT THE POINT, the point. is that its been a while since i've watched a 'space science' show like this one and i forgot. that while they do share rly cool info that i love hearing about. they are. SO. ANNOYING. ABOUT. THE MUSIC USED IN THE BACKGROUND SCORE OF LITERALLY EVERY SCENE SHOWING DEMONSTRATIONS OF WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABT.

its ALWAYS gotta have some ridiculous intense wannabe Armageddon 1998 type of action/thriller/suspense film score shit and it is SO distracting to me. i just want to hear the nice Scientist people talk about their ideas of what an abstract view of the inside of a black hole might look like. and the music in the back EVERY TIME is like.

DUN DUN DUN DUN.....bdududududu DUN! DUN!! DUN!!! DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN!!!!!! .....BWWWAAAAMMMM

LIKE SHUT UPPPPP LMFAOOOOO its so annoying!!!! if i wanted to watch a space themed action movie i would watch a fuckin space themed action movie i just want to hear people talk about space!!!!!!

also this last thing is just a personal preference of mine that i'm sure would probably unintentionally bother people different from me in the same way that the action movie score thing bothers me, but i personally think that so much of the stuff that is covered and talked about on shows like these is so much more deserving of a musical score that evokes feelings of like. discovery, imagination, curiosity, astonishment, acceptance. instead of what usually seems to be trying to evoke like. fear, suspense, existential dread, confusion, anxiety. why do we make shows highlighting scientists talking about what we yearn to know regarding the universe we're all contained in if not to inspire the hypothetical audience watching that show? why would we want to score visual demonstrations of those topics in a way that creates fear and anxiety instead of more positive emotions that could be way more affirming to the individual curiosities of the audience?

this is becoming an Actual Special Interest Full-On Ramble Post so i'll make this my last paragraph i promise LMAOO that was not my intention making this post. but like. in my personal case, when i was a kid i was TERRIFIED of space. like, all of the stuff they talk about in these 'unanswered questions of the universe' shows was legitimately a huge source of severe anxiety and terror to me for pretty much my whole childhood, and it was in large part because every time i saw media with that as a core subject, even passively in the background of a room or something, it was presented as Inherently Scary. scary music, everything exploding in crappy lil 3D demonstrations (which like they still do but at least some of the vfx has improved over the yrs lol), clips of people in lab coats saying stuff like "and that's why if anything over THIS big EVER hit our planet we would ALL BE DEAD WITHIN HOURS WITH NO CHANCE OF SURVIVAL". like?!?!?!? of course i was terrified of that shit lmao!!! there were so few outlets for me, in my US american small town childhood experience at least, to actually be curious about Space and The Universe and How All This Stuff Might Work and The History Of It All, and the easiest to consume pop culture versions of that were all played up to be as unnecessarily edgy and spooky as possible. and its a shame when i think back on how many more years i could have spent in my early life being fascinated by space like i am now and have been since my mid/late teens, because that curious special interest potential was always there in me, but it was constantly answered by the world around me as something to fear instead of something to marvel at. i am autistic and i've always experienced different types of synesthesia, which for me is usually very 'visual mental image/colors/shapes' in nature, so like. music scores in any given program matter to me and it absolutely shapes my potential enjoyment of that piece of media. thankfully as an adult i can appreciate artistic choices more that i may not personally enjoy but that do make sense to me from a narrative/storytelling perspective, but as a child who struggled to understand what i was learning about space and the history of the earth as an astronomical body and the universe in general i very much did not have that insight or appreciation. it just created a strong mental association between "space/universe type of science" and "inherently scary, terrifying, chaotic, avoid at all costs" in my head. that sucks shit dude. the universe is incredible and space is amazing and all of it deserves to be presented to curious watchers in a way that makes them feel happy and excited to learn more information beyond the episode, not shut more information out of their life due to fear.

idk. its not that serious i know i just wish more media based on presentation scientific information to people could be more conscious of How it's presenting that info cus putting a ridiculous over the top action score in the background of every digital recreation shot of space is like. Not A Great Way To Present It. especially when the real human people talking about the topic in the show are NOT bringing that kind of energy to the interview at all and just seem to enjoy sharing this scientific info that they study and want more people to be interested in learning abt and studying like to me it feels kind of dismissive of the stuff they're literally saying too. u guys need more ambient synth musicians on ur fuckin score teams dude dial down the Inception bwaaaams 😭

[erabundus]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

NAME: avalon!

PRONOUNS: they  /  them  pronouns,  please!

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: tumblr  ims  are  always  open,  and  i’m  totally  cool  with  handing  out  my  discord  to  anyone  who  asks!

NAME OF MUSE(S): scaramouche,  scaramouche...  will  you  do  the  fandango...  i  also  have  a  few  miscellaneous  ocs  scattered  about,  as  well  as  a  giratina  for  all  of  your  eldritch  worm  needs  —  though  this  blog  is  by  far  the  center  of  my  attention.  genshin  has  a  death-grip  on  my  brain.  this  is  my  curse.

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  oh  god.  off  the  top  of  my  head,  i  don’t  think  i’d  be  able  to  give  a  precise  number.  i  know  my  first  experience  with  roleplaying  in  general  was  when  i  was  super  young  —  probably  somewhere  in  the  10  -  12  range.  (  i  was  allowed  free  rein  on  the  internet;  my  parents  just  told  me  not  to  give  out  personal  information  and  set  me  loose.  horrifying.  )  i  found  a  random  pokemon  message  board  by  complete  chance,  and  they  had  a  section  for  roleplay.  i  wrote  a  pikachu  who  was  a  blatant  self-insert.  i  think  i  had  a  villain  arc?  wild. i’ve  been  writing  on  tumblr  since  around  2012,  though!

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: discord  and  tumblr!  and  the  aforementioned  childhood  message  board  experience.  i  generally  prefer  tumblr,  if  only  because  i  like  the  aesthetic  and  it’s  nice  having  everything  i’ve  written  somewhere  i  can  easily  look  back  on  it.  i  have  pages  of  headcanons  just  scattered  across  half  a  dozen  discord  servers.  i’m  still  trying  to  recover  them  all.

BEST EXPERIENCE:  i  have  a  handful  of  rp  servers  on  discord  with  some  close  friends  of  mine,  and  they’re  always  a  blast.  (  i  write  scaramouche  there,  too!  )

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: basically  the  general  dni  criteria  we’re  all  probably  familiar  with  at  this  point.  also,  please  trim  your  posts  and  wait  a  little  bit  before  asking  about  replies.  don’t  try  to  control  my  muse,  don’t  try  to  push  me  to  make  him  act  a  certain  way.  i  think  i’m  pretty  easygoing  otherwise.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i  generally  don’t  write  smut,  but  i  absolutely  love  fluff  and  angst  equally.  i  think  the  best  rp  experiences  are  when  you  have  an  even  amount  of  both  to  balance  each  other  out.

PLOTS OR MEMES: honestly,  i’m  perfectly  fine  with  either!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i  like  a  little  mix  of  both!  i  feel  like  having  too  many  long  replies  to  get  to  can  feel  a  bit  daunting,  but  sometimes  i  just  get  really  into  what  i’m  writing  and  want  to  pop  off  with  a  novel.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: i  think  my  favorite  time  to  write  is  late  at  night?  it’s  easier  for  me  to  focus  when  it’s  quiet;  i  can  grab  some  tea  or  coffee  (  anything  with  caffeine  )  and  see  what  i  come  up  with.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  at  the  risk  of  making  myself  sound  like  a  clown,  i  think  in  SOME  ways?  specifically,  i  feel  like  scara  and  i  are  both  really  introverted  people  who  wilt  a  bit  when  we’re  forced  into  social  situations  we  don’t  want  to  be  in  —  though  he  tends  to  get  irritated,  whereas  i’m  just  hideously  awkward  and  nervous. also  i  am.  unfortunately.  just  as  short  as  he  is.  and  my  face  makes  people  mistake  me  for  someone  much  younger  than  i  actually  am.  i  live  in  misery.

tagged by: @detectiveheizou!!  thank  you  so  much!  ✨ tagging: @carmcndei @eonsadrft @momijiba @boughtastar @capravulpes @wcndcrcr &&  anyone  else  who  wants  to  fill  this  out!

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

hello! i don't know if u remember but i was the person that made the playlist for songs about toxic people (i only recently made a tumblr n an ao3 acc lol i was 'honeyed' commenter, no worries if u dont remember! )

i recently found some memories of me trying to put into words the giddy feeling i got after reading an update (which lead to me making a playlist,) and i wanted to say thank u for sharing ur work!! it made me super happy when i found it early on and it just kept getting better with each update. i meant to comment when the last chapter was out,, it genuinely made me sob at points, but also gave me such warm feelings i cant even articulate. it's one of my all time favorite fics ever, i still go back to read it for comfort.

i find myself thinking back to certain quotes at random times ( especially when i draw or think abt sanzu,) but also the mc!! the chapter 'every love story is a ghost' has a special hold on me. ah n the mikey oneshot 'pain and other pleasures.' ur writting has inspired me so much! (enough actually start writting out my own fic ideas instead of letting them wilt away in my head lolol)

ahhh i could go on forever i apologize for the rambling im sure this is super messy to read, but 'm def sticking around to read what u write up next c:

thank u again for sharing ur stories!! <33

THIS IS THE LOVELIEST THING EVER 😭 need you to know that i read this ask many days ago and to this day i still have not found the perfect thank you words, omg

BUT I REMEMBER YOU, OF COURSE! I FOLLOW YOU ON IG!!!! and i actually posted about your playlist here some time ago because i was so touched 😭😭 like literally i could not believe huhuhu and i still listen to that playlist to this day and i gotta thank you for introducing me to rejjie snow and reminding me of mother mother!!!

and aaaa, thank you, really, for taking the time to craft and send me this message :( i never know what effect i'll ever have with my silly words (if i even do) and reading feedback like this always makes me smile and inspire me to keep sharing.

i love you!! and please no worries hahahaha ramble along it's cool!!!! would love to see your fics sometime!! :D

[secretexperiment]

The stuff you put in the tarot tag isn’t insensitive by any means! It’s very basic and typical and the same thoughts we all had. “It’s placebo” “they’re just telling you want you want to hear” etc.

In my opinion, it takes a bone chilling experience to get the average person or skeptics to believe it. Personally, I came to believe tarot when a random tumblr tarot reader was able to identify the drama I was having between my boyfriend and friend (some how knowing two people were involved in my issues) and even being able to differentiate them by race and appearance. The only prior knowledge I gave this person was my initials and age. Didn’t even tell them I was in drama. It was a general free reading so I could test if it was legit or just some chick wanting attention spewing random stuff and I got my ass handed to me.

I’d say give it a chance? It doesn’t hurt to see whats out there, or challenge your own beliefs and assumptions. It can be scary though. I was much more “insensitive” than you ever were. Literally thought they were all nut jobs and scammers until my experience, and now I get tarot readings just to find out more about my personality, red flags, anything I’m not fully aware of. It’s a great tool for self improvement outside of all the magic witchy stuff you see

thank you for thiiiis~ i feel like that is often how that goes. Many of the stories ive heard go like that where people who are major skeptics are converted to believers in some capacity after something they have no other way to explain. In some ways i think it would be super cool to experience but in other ways you hear of people who are like “this happened and it sucks because if i talk about it people think im insane so it’s kind of isolating” and i think i would probably at minimum be incredibly frustrated that ppl would think im lying lmao 🙃 but hey if i ever see an apparition or have a crazy accurate reading someday maybe i will pop onto the ole tumblr cave here and share my experience w it, who the heck knows. I have a lot of thoughts on this type of stuff that i go back and forth with when hearing peoples stories, but ultimately atp in my life im just not a believer. I feel like a lot of it could be explained and everything seems supernatural until science finds a way to explain it and i don’t think that has to make it less cool bc frankly i am also a giganerd lol

[salaciousslut]

Tumblr hates me apparently, its crashed on me twice trying to write another anon message to you. Hopefully third time's the charm.

Im glad that im not that big of a distraction from your studying! I wish you didnt have to stare at my walls of text when your brain hurts 🥺 but im glad talking to me is a welcome break. A butch and a pretty princess thinking about each other all the time, what ever will they do? Hehe 🤭

I have eyedrops too!! But i should take a note from your book and have some meds on me for my friends!! I'd be stupid to not make sure i was taking care of you sweetheart, you wont have to worry about a thing with me around. I can be your guard dog<3

Lemme come over and help you turn off your brain sweetheart<3 not even in like a sexual way either, i'd love to just hold you and let you fall asleep with your head on my chest🥺

Im the same way, its also nice seeing people's expressions when on ft!! It helps me stay focused on the person im on call with tbh! And you are too sweet darling<3 they can be jealous of us both🤭

I have a lot of time to think and being stoned half the time does provide me with decent insight at the least! So i dunno if i would call it mature, but either way im happy with it! And i make an effort to be nice bc the world sucks might as well be the kindness out there.

tumblr is homophobic, thats why it wouldnt let you send me an ask!! how rude of them

hehe yes!! i look forward to my breaks and im always really eager to see if you messaged me yet 🫣 i just really like talking to you!! handsome butch and pretty princess?? hehe i love the sound of that

yes!! meds like ibuprofen and tums and anti nausea meds are almost always on me! and my friends know if they need anything i probably have it! plus my eyes are super dry all the time so eye drops are my best friend.

omg i would love a guard dog!! hehe would feel so cool and invincible. but im also a guard dog. the amount of times i chased away weird men flirting with my friends by ferally barking at them is insane. men dont like when i bark so i choose to bark whenever theyre being dumb!! but i would love a guard dog of my own!!! 🥰

sexual or nonsexual, i want it all!! brain hurts from thinking too much but im trying my hardest to be smart!! but i wouldnt mind getting dumb for someone as handsome as you!!

yes i feel the same way!! im the type to compliment random strangers and smile at people i pass by because i wanna spread a lil bit of happiness everywhere i go

[clenastia]

you know, in tumblr fanfic posts, everyone says you shouldn't ask to be tagged, and should instead turn on notifications for the post or follow the author.

I have followed one author and turned on three post notifcations.

the post notifcations fucking SPAMS me with a bunch of bleh every time someone leaves a comment, with no preview ability to know if i can skip it or not so i have to go and read the comment to see that it's not an addition to the fic.

Following the author (and i mean this in the nicest way possible) gets me like. you know, 90% random stuff, and 10% fic.

WHICH AS AN AUTHOR MYSELF, IS TOTALLY COOL. TOTALLY NORMAL, AND I AM NOT COMPLAINING.

But like.

I think people need to understand that unless they're making sideblogs JUST for their fic posts, neither of these are really 'desirable' outcomes.

Personally, when I see tumblr fic I really like and would love to read continuations of, I try to ask the authors if they have an AO3 they can post it to, because that's easier to subscribe to than the post or the blog itself.

Not every author HAS an AO3, and not every one WANTS one.

So like. I dunno. I definitely get how the 'tag me!!!' comments can be super annoying, but I also feel like tumblr just REALLY doesn't have any good options for people who want to follow any potential updates to a tumblr fic either.

And I know this isn't gonna go anywhere but i guess it kinda annoys me when people are all condescending like "just subscribe to the post notifications" as though that solves ALL the problems.

It doesn't.

It's annoying and hard to keep on top of, especially for the more popular fic posts, and I'm sure that even if someone DID add more fic to that post, I'm still going to miss it because THOSE NOTIFCATIONS KEEP SPAMMING UP AND I CANT STAY ON TOP OF IT.

i dunno where im going with this.

i just hate people acting like that's some perfect solution, when it really REALLY isn't.

And neither is following the blogger, because unless you compulsively scroll any update to your feed, YOU'LL PROBABLY STILL MISS THE POST UPDATE, especially if they're a frequent reblogger.

LIKE.

I dunno.

'tag me!!!' is annoying and a problem, but stop acting like there's a perfect solution for people who want to keep up with a tumblr story.

Because there really REALLY isn't.

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[yardsards]

so i have never watched a single episode of amphibia but i hear a lot about it on tumblr bc the owl show and frog show fandoms overlap a ton

anyway i have decided to write out what i THINK the plot is from secondhand info. for my frog show mutuals’ entertainment and also to probably look back at and laugh if/when i end up succumbing to peer pressure and watching it

frog show fans pls tell me how far off my understanding is

-anne, marcy, and sasha are besties. it’s kinda codependent and unhealthy and sasha is kinda crappy to them sometimes.

-anne is the only one with anything resembling a healthy home life. honestly i don’t know much abt her personality except she’s like a general kindhearted and cheerful protagonist.

-marcy is clumsy and into fantasy nerd stuff. she is also perfect and wholesome and must be protected at all costs.

-sasha is like. a vriska, or a catra.

-they are definitely gay and polyamorous but michael mouse wont allow that to happen

-sasha peer pressures anne into stealing a box (i think it called the calamity box) from a thrift shop. they open it and get isekaied to frog world

-they all end up in different parts of frog world. i think the box explodes or something.

-anne is taken in by hoppop (old frog) and sprig (young frog) and polly (VERY young frog)

-idk if the frogs are blood relatives or not. i think hoppop is not their dad cuz i think sprig is an orphan. is he their grandpa? just some random old man? are sprig and polly sibllings or just two separate frog children? who knows.

-either way they’re just a wholesome little frog family living in a podunk town in frog world.

-anne wants to find her friends and go home but in the meantime she is just having happy wholesome frog adventures with her frog family

-gee, anne, how come the writers let you have TWO wholesome families?

-meanwhile, marcy gets taken in my a newt(?) called king andrias. he seems nice at first but is Not

-meanwhile meanwhile sasha gets taken in by a toad named grimes

-grimes is kinda evil. but is nice to sasha. and like not too ridiculously evil just like kinda sketch. not really workin for anyone just causing trouble to get whatever tf he wants. he is like that wreck it ralph meme “just because you are a bag guy doesnt mean you’re a bad *guy*”

-the three girls need to find each other and all the pieces of the box so they can go home

-grimes is doing some unspecified Evil and sasha helps him. i think during this, marcy and anne get reunited with sasha? or maybe it’s not at the same time. idk.

-sasha pushes anne off a cliff and stabs marcy. maybe because they’re getting in the way of her and grime’s Evil Plan. or maybe because she doesn’t WANT to go home but they want to and she just wants to keep doing crimes with her new crime dad

-idk how this gets resolved

-anne ends up going home tho. and takes her new frog family with her. her parents are very nice. maybe she just needed the box to go home and she got the box pieces from the other 2?

-surprise! grimes isnt the most evilest. king andrias is secretly Very Very Evil. marcy doesnt know this yet

-i think he heals marcy’s stab wound by putting her in a pickle jar. but oh no! he wasn’t just being nice to her, he just needed her alive so he could Use Her for Evil

-he made a pact with a axolotl demon for Power. he lets the demon possess marcy

-enter olivia and yunan. they’ve got an early-series marceline and princess bubblegum kinda vibe going on. like the censors wont let it be canon confirmed but they are DEF ex gfs who are still in love

-they worked with andrias. they thought he was a chill dude but then they saw him hurt marcy and were like aw heck no, not in MY rodeo.

-they decide to be marcy’s moms now. they wanna do some cool traitor moves and save marcy but they don’t really know how bc she is like possessed now and also the king is super powerful. they gotta be Sneaky

-anne, home now, is like yay im home but aw geez i gotta go back to frog world to help my (girl)friends. but she doesnt know how and doesnt know what she’d even do once she got there

-idk what sasha and toad dad are doing now. probably some kind of Criminal Activity against the king. they have selfish intentions but anything that screws the king over is probably a net good

[azenkii]

Me, an ATLA fan who has not watched TLOK, judging the characters I've heard of purely based on physical appearance:

Korra

- hhhhh buff girl,,big muscles,,,,im too gay to deal with this

- her hair looks cool

- she looks like the kind of person to be super loud and hyperactive but also fun to be around

- 10/10 i want to be friends with her

Mako

- WHAT is going on with his eyebrows

- seems like the textbook definition of Tall Dark and Broody

- zuko but without the awkwardness and rage issues? he seems...very quiet

- 10/10 he looks like he'd stop a woman on the street to tell her she dropped her wallet but then accidentally end up making plans for dinner on Friday and he wouldn't have the heart to tell her he's already in a relationship

Bolin

- he looks so sweet!!

- either he's sweet or he's a dudebro but i'm going with sweet

- looks like he would use :D in every other text he sends

- probably crushes people's hands when they shake hands

- 10/10 i DEFINITELY want to be friends with him

Asami

- hot girl?? hot girl with cool glove??? i TOLD y'all i was too gay for this

- her hair...her eyes...her makeup....

- she looks rich. is she rich? she gives me 'oh i noticed your earphones broke so i bought you five pairs of airpod pros, i hope that's ok' vibes

- probably has a ton of daddy/mommy issues. you can see it in her eyes

- 10/10 because i want her to be my gf

Tenzin

- why is his head shaped like an elongated semicircle

- i don't know how old he is but if he wasn't an air nomad he'd probably still be bald from premature stress-induced hair loss

- 7/10 because he looks like my shitty english teacher

Lin

- oh she looks like she could DESTROY me

- she looks like a McGonagall type of person

- probably owns a cat or aspires to own a cat

- takes ZERO shit

- 12/10 i love her already

Wu

- this man is a TWINK

- he probably spends a full hour on his hair every morning

- he has zero survival skills and would die within the first hour of the apocalypse

- 8/10 he's the fun idiot friend we all need

Varrick

- incompetent gay villain. that's all i have to say about him

- he looks like the red guy from the sonic movie

- he supports capitalism

- probably calls random women 'dear', 'darling' and 'sweetheart'

- 7/10 he looks like he belongs on team rocket

Kuvira

- unlike varrick, she's a competent gay villain

- probably plays chess (or pai sho, in this case)

- looks like she wears boots with metal spurs on the heels

- does she kick people a lot? she looks like she kicks people a lot. specifically roundhouse kicks

- 8/10 'cause she's hot

Amon

- cool mask i like how he's abiding by COVID rules

- is he dramatic? i bet he's dramatic

- i can't see his face but he looks like an asshole

- 5/10 i feel like he'd try to bring back the Soviet Union

some extra ones without pictures because tumblr only allows 10 images per post:

Suyin

- she looks like the fun aunt

- has probably done at least one (1) illegal thing

- she and lin are siblings right? oohhh i feel like they yelled at each other a LOT

- she looks like she has a nice voice

- 10/10 i wish she was my english teacher

Jinora

- hmmmm

- i like her but she also seems like the kind of kid who'd correct your pronunciation of random words just because they feel like it

- 8/10 because she seems nice but she also reminds me too much of my annoying little cousin (who i love, but they get on my nerves)

Meelo

- no.

- 0/10 i hate everything about his face

[maxladcomics]

How am I supposed to read all your stuff if I'm on mobile?! 😭 I always seem to get lost in the sauce- I mean- never ending comic hoops, and yet I'm certain that some comics are out of the chain, so I can never see them. Is there an order to the madness? I've tried to find one on my own, but it never ends! Everything is a scrambled mess in my brain and most of the characters I see make no sense to me (other than, hey, this skeleton looks really cool! So on the basic level) because I have no backstory for them. So... What should I do? I'm starting to lose hope here... Jk, but still, it's best to say that my brain is mush.

How do I see ~everything~ ever, in the most efficient manner possible?

Also, I just to be certain that you know I'm not flaming you- I love your art, even if most of it doesn't make much sense to me- but even still! I love it anyway- i just want to be in the know lol. I've been seeing your comics on and off for years I'd say- but not in any particular order, or with any logic. I feel like I'm trying to craft multiple intricate puzzles, but all of them are in the same box- but at the same time some random (great) person shows up and starts taking some of the pieces and putting them in other boxes, then adds more, also all great intricate pieces, then adds some sick bonus art to the pile- and I'm also at the same time, really, really bad a puzzles. That's the sort of sheitsuation I'm in. I have no idea how to properly use tumbler (I thought that people could post stuff to a blogs wall- I know now- sorta- that that's not how it works, but the remnants of my stupidity still remain up to this very day), and I also didn't know how to post links- so, you could probably assume why that might be a problem- just an endless supply of wack that really serves to throw my tiny pea brain for a loop.

So, I guess I'm trying to ask this, the tldr if you will: I want to read all of your stuff, but don't really know how. How do I do the do?

(Also, I've been awake for like 26 ish hours, so please forgive me for this- my brain is very frazzled)

I checked tumblr to see 99+ notes AND IM SO SORRY YOU'VE BEEN LOST FOR SO LONG- pfff

Also thank you, I 'secretly' hope that when you say about pieces and boxes and more boxes and intricate pieces that you've managed to spot some 'super secret' foreshadowing I've thrown here and there and just need some extra pages to figure it out.

I'm not sure if it works on mobile anymore because I haven't checked in around a year or two?

but this link to my comics list should work?

I also post my comics on deviantart but I doubt that's any better lol.

ANYWAY. That link is for my main storyline comics. As far as I know, most of the comics are based in the same multiverse storyline (except hungerswap, Don't come back, and maybe Science)

The other comics I do are also linked in there but I'll link them here as well

Shenanigans (as far as I remember) have no foreshadowing and is generally dumb stuff for fun. It's in order of when I posted them. So the oldest is at the top, and newest is on the bottom. YOU CAN SEE MY ART GROW ALONG THE WAY lol.

Random comics are here

Random comics, are comics that can make you either laugh or cry, or feel like there's someone standing right behind you in a dark room. A lot of my favourite comics are in this one lol and I think there's some foreshadowing, too!

...I'm lying. There's a good chance there's foreshadowing crawling everywhere through both random comics AND shenanigans. I just don't remember all of them.

There might be some comics missing or deleted, but if a "Next" or "Previous" on a comic page sends you on a loop, let me know and I can fix it!

Edit: Forgot to also link my AU blogs for Undercurrent and Fellswap

[mblue-art]

I love reading your tags. Please, ramble more. I enjoy reading the things you think!

!!! :0 aww you're so nice, anon :') are you sure about this?

bc this is going to be super long,, i hope you have time for this u_u;;

I first encountered the term ‘2p!’ when I was a young weeb in the htalia fandom (I was never in Tumblr at that time though, I think I frequented DA for my content) and was fascinated at the concept because I get it, 2P means ‘second player/player 2’ like in videogames. Their colors get inverted and also their personality.

I was confused for a while and thought ‘was there a game??’, but no, artists just drew darker/inverted versions of the characters. The alter egos. The friendly and nice ones are now cold and mean, and vice versa. They called the AU ‘2p!talia’. I guess that was my first exposure to AUs. (i think i saw a glimpse of the hzbn hotel fandom doing this recently as well? the usual red-colored characters are all in blue, just like how 2P!Dream!Sans has dark blue colors as opposed to the bright yellows of his 1P! counterpart)

(speaking of alter egos and counterparts........................... if there are any old fans of shizaya,,, talk to me LOL)

There’s the genderbending/genderbent AU, saw it in anime fandoms, where they put the labels ‘fem!’ or ‘male!’ before a character’s name, swapping genders, “what would this character look like if they looked like the opposite gender?”, stuff like that.

I don’t know how or why ppl started using the exclamation points (ex. “genderbent!” , “swap!”) thing, instead of just writing “swap __ , fem __” but I think the “!” does make it seem more organized, if that makes sense?

And thennn here I am in the UT fandom around 2016-‘17, remembering that AUs are a Thing in Fandoms: ‘woah there’s an edgy version of this character, like 2P! (2p is more like an Opposite/Inverted AU now that I think about it)’ ‘woah there’s a swapped version! Cool!’ ‘YO SWAPFELL? NICE’ ‘oh god there’s so many AUs now holy crap-‘

I did kinda dip out of the fandom for some time, but when I came back (surprise, surprise, it was Deltarune that pulled me back in......... and also maybe Vade’s comic dub of that Mafiafell comic) and had to familiarize myself with the AUs once again, I noticed the abundance of Sanscest ships that aren’t the main 4 AUs. More content for my multishipper heart lmao

Like for example. The UTMV part of the fandom. Underverse being the inspiration(??) for content like Nightmare’s Gang, the Star Sanses- I really love how the community made them different yet similar despite being Sanses? It’s just so fun to think about!

(I would love to draw a visual to accompany this, but I am... lazy......... bear with me I’ll try to make this section as short as possible)

We have the base- OG Sans Undertale. Classic, lazy, stinky boneman.

Swap!/US!Sans is, obviously, a swapped alternate. Energetic Sans, a bouncing ball of sunshine, has the Papyrus traits while still being a Sans. Cool Blue.

Both Nightmare and Dream, although not born as skeleton monsters, were transferred into skeleton bodies (their mother apparently looked at a random AU and saw US!Sans and took his image?? I think that’s how it went, correct me if im wrong).

Cross was also?? derived from US!Sans?? A lot of people said he was a US!Sans and I’ve just accepted it-

the thing is i think US!Sans has this boyish, anime charm to him, and having that same kinda feel for NM, Dream, & Cross??? BRUH

the apple twins are obviously different already, even though they look like Sans (yo,, the ‘mwehehe’ laugh headcanon tho,,, love that). they have their own charms, some fanart gives me prince-y vibes even (or king for NM bc, ykno)

and Cross,,, oh lord why is he cute. why is he charming. why is he different he’s literally a Sans- like what, he inherited the swap!sans charm??? Is that what’s happened here?? IM NOT A SIMP I SWEAR- but Cross,, he’s babey,,, do you get what i’m feeling here

Ink and Error? Chaotic immortals. Similar kinda deal with the twins. Although I do love the fact that Error was a Geno previously. Makes good angst ideas for their ships :]

Haha and then you go to Nightmare’s other boys.

Murder trio- Killer, Dust, Horror. All starting out as Classic Sanses and spiraled down into their own horrifying respective timelines.

Have I mentioned I love the found family trope going on with Nightmare’s Gang?? They might be the Bad Sanses, but they still care for eachother, and I love that so much actually. I love that they can get into funny shenanigans and I live for that (that bad sanses shitpost blog? i love that blog btw). Nightmare being the tired dad looking at his rowdy boys messing shit up in the castle again. Are they gently bullying teasing Cross? Seems like a normal day. He’ll benefit from the negativity at least. He’s too old for this. (lmao boomer)

And for the Strawberry!NM thing, he's either made for the strawberry flavor aesthetic, a 2P! alternate of NM, both, or some other reason I didn't know.

[spade-club]

all of the asks for the ask game :3 (im really bored. forgive me.)

thank you so much ily. this took me many hours and is really long. I have had coffee today so please forgive me for these long as fuck posts.

What is one thing you wish everyone understood about DID?

I know I'm not 30 different people!! I know there are not people living in my head!!!! I just didn't know how to cope with existing, so I got broken up into pieces to try to make it easier. I'm one person behind all of this, I know I'm only one person. I'm one person who sometimes acts different and remembers different things and has different opinions and it just so happens those differences all tend to line up and correlate with each other, so I define those correlations. and when I define them, I have an easier time understanding how I am going to respond to different things and what my overall goals are in life. frankly, it can be really relieving to allow myself to connect little pieces in my brain, to figure out what makes me happy when in these different mental states. its self-discovery just like it is for anyone else, and just because I do it over and over and get different results a lot of the time doesn't make me crazy. it just helps me understand the wide array of who I can be and figure out who I want to be.

Are you in therapy? What is your experience with therapy like?

I only have a counselor and I haven't told her about the system, but I think she's aware I have a dissociative disorder and ill vaguely talk about it often. it gets a little hard sometimes to sidestep situations and talk about things but going on a "sometimes this affects me, but I can talk about it unemotionally right now, what do I do in situations where this begins to upset me again" or "I'm really indecisive about this, how do I find a good middle ground that'll actually work/remind myself that x is a good idea" tends to work pretty well. ultimately there's a lot of ways I've found to talk about my system without outright saying it that lead to still getting a little bit of help. still have no access to getting help with trauma work right now but for what I have I think I'm managing. (Also am considering telling my counselor about the DID thing at some point but I may not be seeing her much longer so idk if it would be worth it)

Do you have an inner world? If you do, what is it like?

I do!! it's not very expansive and doesn't get a whole lot of use, not to mention we don't have "inner world memories" or anything but it used to be a castle and the main room was the ballroom with a dancefloor, but it has since been changed into a theatre and those of us on the stage are the ones fronting and everyone in the seats is watching!! there's also a little garden and a big field and a library, some hallways and a couple of rooms (Chloe lives under the theatre seating its actually really cool) I think the bar that was previously in the ballroom has moved to the end of the weird curved hall but I'm not sure!! I haven't seen any of the NPCs since the front room changed. (I could go more in depth about this but it's a lot, esp considering we never use any of it)

What is communication like between you and the others? Do you have any particular systems set up to help with communication?

it's so bad!!! as far as internal comms our voices are indistinguishable most of the time, sometimes people think in pictures but then we can't see them, sometimes it's just feeling random emotions but nothing to go with it which is confusing!! otherwise it's still bad because we forget to check things all the time!! we have to send each other things on Tumblr to actually get them which means that still most of us won't get things if they aren't big Tumblr users/don't have their own account. memory is super super shaky (I think it's getting worse tbh) and like. aaa it's a STRUGGLE!! big shout out to the fact that we can sometimes just remember things as if someone told us, but no one did we just like, remember. like if someone was like "oh yeah when x comes out, they need to do/know this thing" and then they come out and are going about their day and suddenly go "oh! I have to do/be aware of this thing" it's like. the only good thing we have is that happens a lot but not always.

Has any conventional advice for DID ever not worked for you(journaling is unhelpful, can’t visualize an inner world, etc)?

uuuhhhh. idk I don't follow advice I'm just simply better. /Joke that said yeah, a lot of inner world stuff doesn't translate because its super hard for us to focus on it and a lot of it doesn't have very easy real-world equivalents. most stuff I've seen is really good though, but I surround myself with communities that are a bit more grounded in reality, just bc that's how I am too so it's just like, pretty cool :) (shout out Survivors Network im ur #1 lurker ily all so much) finding likeminded openminded communities can be soso healing <3

What does “safety” mean for you?

this question hard :( I don't know really. I don't think I've ever really felt safe? the closest I get is talking to my best friend. I think it's because I know I can tell her anything with no judgement. today I washed a dish for the first time in my 20 years on this earth, and that's something that I think a lot of people would think is weird or have something bad to say about, but I told her this, because I was proud of myself, and she told me she was proud of me too. she cared and was excited for me, for something so stupid that I should have already known. I think that's what safety is. feeling like I could say anything and not be judged, but instead be loved, accepted, and celebrated. and I think that means everything to me. I'm literally holding back tears while writing this haha it's just. so important to me, that feeling. it means everything. safety means acceptance and love, unconditionally. (And by proxy safety means her)

Do you have any introjects? How do you feel about their source? How do they feel about their source?

oh man. we have a few, yeah. 4 I think? two of people we know irl, another real person we don't know personally, and a fictional guy. that's the ones I know anyway. I know the fictional guy struggles the most with separating from their source, they feel very very strongly /pos about it and wants to go back. the introject of the person we don't know personally doesn't like associating with his source publicly (because people are for some reason weird about introjects of this guy SPECIFICALLY) but thinks that the person is very respectable, I don't think he fully likes everything about his source, but he gets why this person is who he was based off of and I think he would be proud of it if people online weren't weird. the ones of irls I don't know as much about, but I think Nat just finds being an introject kinda funny bc that means they get to be in my head lol, idk what they think about real Nat though, and the other one is ?????????? literally no idea but that guy is vibing sometimes (v lucky to not have any bad connotations around the sources any of them have, except maybe one of them but there's a lot of question marks for a reason)

Do you have any non-human alters?

kind of. Ghost is uhm, well, a ghost, and he has a lot a lot of issues with being in a physical body which is like. so strange but I don't want to share any details just in case!! Oz is nonhuman too, but I don't think it affects them at all??? they're like, also kinda ghosty but idk how they define it I can only go based on their source for that and I know they don't fully identify with certain things so idk!!

Is there anything that makes you feel like your experience with DID is “different” than what you see other people with DID talk about?

answer

Who is the most likely to get into a fight (physical or verbal?) Who’s the most likely to try to patch things up afterward?

oh man. I think MJ probably, because he's anxious and irritable and so much symptom, I think he's gotten into arguments more than anyone else heh. and idk about the second half!! usually problems just go away!! though I think MJ also just fixes things afterwards himself when he has to, idk though!! hard to say esp now we're on meds.

Does anyone wish they could make big changes to your body’s appearance?

yes. all the time. the amount of surgeries and tattoos and different hair etc etc etc we would have if everyone were to try to get their way is. so much. we're doing what we can for now but there's a lot of conflicting wants!!

Choose some parts/alters and describe each in 5 words or less.

no <3

What does dissociation feel like for you?

so tired. switching especially makes me feel like I have to take a nap, and my stomach starts hurting a bit and I can't focus my eyes and my thoughts get so disorganized. other dissociation is more like, I just don't feel attentive OR I do feel attentive, but I just can't move my body enough to express that I am paying attention and having full thoughts, sometimes that one lasts hours and I hate it because I can't do anything at all!! and often I get stuck sitting uncomfortably, but I can't move and it bad because I know better but I can't move :((((

How often do you think you switch?

this one's really variable, sometimes it's not for days (rare now that we have no real host) and sometimes its 5 or 6 times in a day! depends on a lot of things! there's also the time MJ was frontstuck for a whole month, so it's like, really varies. on average right now though it's about 2 to 4 a day but we're really bad at knowing who's who anymore bc.... meds are really making us weird (but it's really good for us at least short term so it's okay)

Do any of you experience body dysphoria or dysmorphia?

yes. so much. the hell that is having dysphoria both ways is so wild. and I know dysmorphia is like, so huge with us. it also goes in every direction too, and we haven't been able to figure out the patterns with it yet, but we will go from "why am I so tall" to "why am I so short" and same with body mass n shit. a lot of the time we don't even see anything in the mirror or when we look down, it's all just blurry concept of person. I will say though, despite often not feeling like it's us in the mirror, we actually really enjoy looking in mirrors and I cannot figure out why ?? maybe because sometimes it just feels like another person to talk to because we don't feel like it's us?? idk though!

How many parts/alters do you think you have at this time?

we have 29 written down but its suspected its actually 50 if not more. though if I were to count specifically parts, we've heard from more than once since we started paying attention it would be 20, so that's the number we prefer to use right now, and in terms of frequenters there's 8 of them (yes, I just gave you four different numbers idc its confusing)

If you have younger parts/alters, what makes them happy or excited?

actually, skipping this one bc our main little values their privacy and idk much about the other ones

Do you consider yourselves to be covert or overt about having DID?

both? probably more overt honestly but who tf is even gonna notice anyway? though people who meet candle first would for sure notice something was off if they met anyone else bc when she lets herself be herself it's so wildly different, but she's also closest thing we have to host rn so we're all picking up her mannerisms a bit I think.

Do you experience denial often? How do you react when you experience it?

not really? I guess it's mostly that when we do instead of freaking out, we go "even if that's not what this is, believing I'm a system has helped me significantly, and I am not causing anyone any harm in believing this until I can get a better answer" and then I get over it. the worse denial is about what I've been through and feeling like it wasn't "bad enough" to talk about. best thing for us in that situation is to just disengage with the thing making us feel like that because there's no right answers other than "but it still hurt so it is bad enough" and that doesn't always help.

What grounding methods or skills work best for you? Do different skills work better for different parts/alters?

cold works so well!! ice water or just generally holding or drinking something really cold is great for grounding, but it comes with the added side effect of MJ will probably show up. other than that, it's just. all music. music is literally so everything to us and keeps us grounded better than anything else, I think. we're also pretty big on riding out the dissociation because it usually goes quicker to accept it whenever possible.

What does “recovery” mean for you?

I think, in terms of the two main recovery styles, I think currently we're aiming for functional multiplicity, but ideally having a much smaller number of us at that point. but in terms of what that would mean? I think it's about having a functional life, being able to live on our own or with some sort of partner but not rely on them, have a stable job, be able to keep up with hobbies, finally being able to feel like life is real. really like, the bare minimum for mentally well people lol. mostly I just want to know I can keep up good relationships with others and feel truly like I'm alive, derealization is a bitch, but it's my bitch and I want it dead. 0/10 worst symptom I've got.