#OPaconitewolfsbane

[aconitewolfsbane]

DPxDC prompt/story idea for anyone to use

We've seen a lot of 'Danny is the twin/older brother/clone of Damian/insert other batfam member' fics.

But...

What if it was Sam?

Talia's first attempt at creating Ra's heir was clearly going to be a girl. She knew that would be unsatisfactory for him, and he'd likely just order the baby's death.

So Talia hid the girl. She put her where ra's would never think to look for her:

with an annoyingly daft rich couple from a small town in the middle of nowhere that she met on a business trip.

Her only orders for the insipid pair was to keep the girl away from Gotham, as she was concerned that Bruce would find out and that would lead to Ra's finding out about Talia's small betrayal.

Talia returned to the League, lied to Ra's about the embryo failing. She took a year off to appear to rework the embryos collected to pick out a guaranteed male, and finally started a new one in the artificial womb, and eventually Damian was born.

Sam thought that her parents insistence on not taking her to Gotham for galas was because they were terrified she'd become goth, so... she did exactly that. The Manson's returned from Gotham to discover Sam burnt all the frilly pink dresses she had up until that point.

"What? I had adult supervision."

*points to Grandma Ida, sitting with a bag of marshmellows and a smirk*

Whether Grandma Ida noticed Sam's similarities to young Brucie Wayne, or the Fenton's did a standard contamination test, noticed the DNA and found that the only Manson willing to listen was Ida is up to the writer.

The portal accident happens, blahblahblah. We know the drill by now.

A reveal gone bad, the Fenton's being good parents, the GIW on the hunt, any combination of the above.

The kids are either rushed away by Ida or the Fentons with orders to go to Gotham, to Wayne Manor, or as usual, the kids just go there because it's the only place two half-ghosts, and three liminals can hide their ectosignatures.

Chaos happens, as it only can in a DP x Dc fic, and the batfam find themselves staring at the Batcomputer as the DNA results flash onto the screen, revealing that the young woman they thought was connected to Poison Ivy was actually...

"Dammit Bruce, are you just unable to keep it in your pants for even a second?!"

"Hnnn..."

"Wait, guys..." clicks to the maternal results.

"... Holy shit."

"... Mother?"

"Talia fucking hid another one?!"

"Langauge, Miss Steph. Master Dick."

"... New sister?"

[aconitewolfsbane]

New headcanon accepted.

In the DPxDC crossover fics, Jason totally wears these boxers.

[aconitewolfsbane]

May as well jump on this train. Curious about what results I might get back...

[aconitewolfsbane]

For everyone who asked about the missing options:

[aconitewolfsbane]

Okay, it's taken months of mulling it over, and I had to rework it a few times to take into account new games, but I've finally finished my version of the Legend of Zelda timeline. And gotten around to visualising it.

Link is to a onedrive PDF file, cause I couldn't get it uploaded anywhere else as they all act like shit for me... Literally the only place that I could get it working after half-an-hour of trying.

Plus the site I made the timeline wouldn't let me save/export/download it without buying anything or making an account, so I had to screenshot it in pieces and reassemble them in Pages.

Fuck you Capitalism! I do what I want!

Set to view only. Hopefully the link works.

Anyway, yeah.

Turns out that the only way to make the Zelda timeline make sense is to break it even further by adding more timeline splits.

Best view on 150% zoom, or the writing is a bit small...

I also have a word document that's going over my reason for everything, and why this is the timeline that works for me. That might be a bitch to make available though...

Echoes of Wisdom isn't connected to Breath of the Wild mainly because the site was being bitchy about making that connection. It kept screwing up the line, making it go off the page, and generally being a piece of shit. I just got fed up with trying to get it to behave with the limitations that the site gave me due to not being a paid registered user and gave up.

But Echoes does connect to the convergence event.

EDIT: link does seem to work well on phone at least. Can view the whole thing without scrolling or zooming, and is readable. Fits on my screen quite well. Okay, it does need to be scrolled slightly to the left, but nothing too serious.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Whoa, okay, holy crap...

Just was watching a random Harry Potter video on YouTube, and this just jumped into my head fully formed.

Mrs. Norris.

Filch's cat, who he's very attached to.

What if...

She's actually an Animagus.

Maybe she was trying to escape an attack during the first wizarding war, and turned into a cat to squeeze through a fence.

One or more curses hit her, but she escaped.

Only to find that she was locked into cat form, unable to turn back.

She went to the only person she knew who could recognise her in this form: Argus Filch.

Whether he was in love with her, or she was just the only witch who ever treated him with respect despite him being a Squib, or she took him in after his own family disowned him for being a proven Squib once his Hogwarts letter failed to arrive when he turned 11.

Either way, he immediately recognised her and protected her as much as he could until the war was over whilst also trying to figure out how she got stuck and what to do about it.

If she was an unregistered Animagus, he could have been too worried about her being punished for it to attempt to get help from anyone who could do magic. Especially if researching it taught him that the punishment was harsh.

He eventually started the QwikSpell course to hopefully learn enough to figure out how to break the curse himself.

Which explains not only why he was so concerned about anyone learning about him doing the course (which I always thought was more than just shame from being a Squib or fear of the little bastard students torturing him for it), and how upset he was with Mrs. Norris being petrified. As well as the fact that she's one of the only animals that is not confirmed to be an Animagus to appear on the marauders map.

Mrs. Norris meanwhile has likely long come to terms with it being a permanent situation, but is flattered that he continues to research on her behalf.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Superman takes his young son flying.

Superman: Everything that the light touches is ours to protect.

Jon: Wow... But... What about that shadowy place over there?

Superman: *shudders* Gotham. You must never go there, my son.

[aconitewolfsbane]

"average person has 2 surnames" factoid actually just statistical error. average person has 1 surname. Surnames Steven, who lives in cave & has 4 surnames, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[aconitewolfsbane]

One man and a dog went to mow the meadow. One man and a dog went to mow the meadow.

Two men and a dog went to mow the meadow Two men and a dog went to mow the meadow.

Three men and a dog went to mow the meadow Getting kinda worried bout the man-eating meadow.

Four men and a dog went to mow the meadow Please someone help with the man-eating meadow.

Five men and a dog went to mow the meadow Oh, my dog is feeding the man-eating meadow.

The army and no dog went to mow the meadow It's too late to stop the man-eating meadow.

[aconitewolfsbane]

How does did Mufasa talk to his subjects?

He summoned them to an eating.

[aconitewolfsbane]

A sign outside of a butchers shop in Queensland Australia. We'll eat anything here.

Oh, and a spatchcock is apparently a young chicken that has been prepared for cooking by having the spine removed, allowing it to be opened up. Kinda like a butterfly chicken? Possibly the same thing with a different name? IDK. Also the name of the process.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Geologists like big buttes.

[aconitewolfsbane]

W-why does it look like Hercules is wearing black leather thigh-high boots?

Please tell me that I'm not the only one seeing this?

I... have no idea how to feel about this picture.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Harry Potter headcanon:

The Sorting Hat can pick up on various issues that any student has during the Sorting Ceremony.

Once back in Dumbledore's office, it shares the info with him, so steps can be taken to ensure that the affected students are helped.

Student has ADHD or dyslexia? The teachers quietly give them extra time for assignments and homework.

Student is trans or any flavour of LGBT? The portraits watch over them for any signs of bullying and run for a teacher if needed. (bonus fuck you to JK by making the Hat and characters allies who protect trans students)

Just... The Sorting Hat being able to tell which students need extra help or support, and ensuring that the faculty knows.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Wait... If the Lorulean equivalent of Zelda is Hilda, and the Lorulean equivalent of Link is Ravio...

What makes Link's name similar enough to Ravio to work?

May I suggest:

Zelda and Hilda

Fabio and Ravio.

NGL, it kinda works.

[aconitewolfsbane]

Welp, I've lost all hope for humanity.

This is a piece of bubblewrap that I just got in a parcel.

The air pockets aren't in nice little wonderfully poppable bubbles, no.

They're in long lines running lengthwise.

You can't pop this shit at all. It just pushes the air along the line.

And even if I managed to wring out (like squeezing water from a piece of cloth) it to pop them, there'd only be 15 pops at most.

And sure, it claims that it's designed for recycling, but that's pointless, cause my local recycling can't handle soft plastics, and the collection of soft plastics at the collection points has been stopped due to some issue i don't even know what for several months now.

Regardless, they've ruined bubblewrap.

What kind of monster would come up with this?!