#Not going off on a tangent about how I don’t ship

[pomefioredove]

um um. the nbc boys with a reader thats smart and learns easily but has trouble keeping up with the school system(? for lack of better words). they get distracted and bored easily, forget about homework, doodle on their papers and stare out the window, etc. they get great test scores and do exceptionally well when they are interested in what they’re learning, but otherwise get burned out really quick. i don’t know much about your nbc but it seems like the system is pretty fast paced and doesn’t really leave room for mistakes! 🫶🫶 i love your designs for nbc so far. can already tell the readers gonna have a blast (and a migraine)

my first ever noble bell oc request... rubs my hands together evilly

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ no room for mistakes (noble bell college)

inspired by my AU

type of post: headcanons characters: rollo, original characters; pierrot, bou, phoenix, clodio additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

Rollo Flamme will arrange a precise time to study with you every day, whether you ask him or not. it's within his best interest that you succeed at Noble Bell (heavens forbid you're shipped off to a lesser, simpler arcane academy like that terrible Night Raven College), and so there will be no room for mistakes. this isn't something you should take for granted, either; Rollo is a very busy man, and to have an hour of his time for him to tutor you is a privilege. at least, that's what everyone else will tell you

to Rollo, this is nothing. he would make his whole weekend for you, if you asked. perhaps his whole life

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Pierrot Gregoire is probably the last person you should be going to for help. yes, he's exceptionally intelligent in the ways of history and literature, and yes, he could lecture you for hours longer than your actual professor does, but I doubt you would actually get anything but a headache out of it. he's a poet, not a tutor, and he has a tendency to talk himself in circles, go on tangents, anecdote about his personal life... yeah. it would take a special sort of mind to keep up with him, otherwise, you're probably better off trying to make sense of his unorganized class notes... which are just as full of doodles and daydreams as yours

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Bou de Neige is known for making harsh judgments about his peers... which are often accurate. and so he can tell, by the way you talk and articulate and express, that you're not a blithering idiot. you only lack the discipline that the typical Noble Bell College student has. and if it weren't for Rollo's faith in you, and his own damned pity, Bou would have been happy to let you fail...

...but he doesn't. he sits next to you in classes and pinches your arm when you're dozing off, or not paying attention to something important. he leers over you and corrects the mistakes on your homework before you turn it in. he begins carrying clean paper for you to doodle on, and insists it's nothing (it's so over for him)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Phoenix Bussiere is not what I would call a trustworthy tutor. he's not even a trustworthy student. oh, but don't think he wouldn't love to waste a few hours every week "helping you study" while he vandalizes 500 year old wood desks and falls asleep in the library. he's way too eager to volunteer. and how can you say no? his attention is highly valuable; the jealous glares of other students make that obvious. and perhaps you wouldn't have minded working alone, without anyone breathing down your neck... except he doesn't let you. he couldn't care less about the homework, but he'll ask you a thousand questions about yourself

...you can never quite tell if he actually cares, or if he's just passing the time

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if you think Clodio LeFou would be the worst of the group, you'd be very wrong. is it chaotic? yes. but he'll teach you Latin while hanging upside down (and he's really quite good at it). he's managed to get by at Noble Bell without raising any eyebrows, after all, and his grades certainly reflect that. he'll act out your history lessons and critique your writing assignments like a professional. he'll make a puppet just to teach you math. it's unconventional, especially for Noble Bell, but it's much better than the dry lectures from your professors. you'll take what you can get

[wormzandgutz]

bros

[marlynnofmany]

Playing Translation Telephone

“Hi,” I said as the door slid open. “Captain Sunlight wants to know how your translations are going.”

Coals sighed. “They’re going. This one’s a mess.” He shook his lizardy head, brick-red scales dull in the light by the doorway. That part of the translation suite was always dim because Trrili liked looming in the shadows there.

But today she was at the workstation in the back, surrounded by glowing screens and a cloud of irritated hisses. “I think we missed a language,” she announced, snapping her pincher arms and angling her antennae into a scowl.

“What, really?” Coals asked. He ran a hand over his head, scales clicking quietly. “How many is that now?”

“Sixssss,” Trrili hissed.

Coals grumbled something I didn’t catch, and walked back over to the workstation.

Curious, I followed and let the door shut behind me. “What kind of project is this one?”

“Old records of a multi-species colonizing effort,” Coals said from his floating chair with the tail hole. “The originals are lost, and all that’s left is this jumble that’s been translated through a succession of languages, none of which they bothered to write down. And they want us to figure out what the originals actually meant.”

“Sounds tricky,” I said. Each of the screens held writing, most in languages I didn’t recognize. Some were notes in the trade language we all spoke, and I was amused to see how much swearing was in Trrili’s notes.

“It is very tricky,” Trrili agreed, jabbing a little wrist finger at the screen in the middle. “The grammar doesn’t match the words, and the idioms are an utter tar hole. It’s anyone’s guess what culture came up with some of these details.”

“I’m pretty sure the bit about rocks is a Strongarm saying,” Coals said. “It makes more sense than a Frillian interpretation.”

“Yes, fine, probably,” Trrili said with an irritated wave of her pinchers. “I’m stuck at this part that goes off on a tangent about the family arrangements of the wildlife. It’s clearly significant, and at least one layer of translation wanted to make sure the full interpretation was spelled out, but that just makes it more confusing.”

“How so?” I asked. I’d gotten the job on this ship because of my animal-care knowledge, so maybe I could offer some insights. I peered at the screen.

“This part,” Trrili said, “Is a recounting of a colonist’s experience in retrieving goods from a shuttle that crashed in a lake. The water creatures seem to have complex social arrangements, and somehow that relates to their behavior toward this particular colonist.” She folded her pinchers and leaned back, glaring at the ancient diary. “Of course this had to be written by someone disinclined to speaking clearly.”

“What kind of behavior is it?” I asked. “Are we talking mating advances, or aggressively protecting the young, or—?”

“Aggressive,” Trrili said immediately. “This word means mouth, possibly teeth specifically, and in the grammatical arrangement that it’s currently configured into, it has to be saying that the thing bit the colonist.”

Coals flipped through documents on another screen. “Do we know what the official name for the creature is?”

Trrili hissed. “Not even close. That’s what this whole tangent is: an attempt at describing it. I’d love to know if it was the original colonist or someone later who decided it would be helpful to tell us that this creature’s ancestors rejected social bonds.”

“Rejected how?” I asked.

Coals brought up another document. “I’ve got something on the legal system of the original colony. Sounds like there were multiple types of family arrangements at play. Possibly this colonist was just musing on a similarity to their own life.”

Trrili hissed. “How does that help us? I don’t see any accounts of this person’s family life, or even their species. We have no way to know if their own parents performed the socially-accepted rituals or not.”

“Wait,” I said. “Is this about the animal’s parents not doing a certain ritual? Like marriage? Is the colonist calling the fish a bastard?”

Both of my alien coworkers looked at me. Coals asked slowly, “That’s an insult in human circles, isn’t it?”

“Yes!”

Trrili threw her pinchers skyward and stalked away from the workstation. “Of course it is. You people are sentimental about everything, including reproduction. This would have been so much simpler if we’d known from the start that there was a human layer to this.”

“So what does it say?” I asked. “The colonist went into the lake to help with the crash, and got bitten by a bastard fish?”

Trrili was walking in circles hissing, so Coals scooted in front of the center screen. “Going by what we’ve figured out so far,” he said, “The colonist was trying to move salvage from the shuttle. Walking through shallow water. The water creatures were of many bright colors — it goes into detail about that, comparing them to refractive prisms and seaspray — but they kept their distance as long as the colonist kept moving. Pretty sure this part says one came in for a bite as soon as the colonist stood still. And that’s where we go off on an elaborate description of the creature’s family arrangements.”

I grinned. “‘Dear diary, today I waded through a lake and got bit by a rainbow bastard fish. Terrible experience; wouldn’t recommend.’”

Coals looked closer. “It does actually say something like that afterward,” he admitted. “There’s a suggestion that the next person to enter the water wear protective clothing.”

Over Trrili’s aggravated hissing, I said, “That colonist might have been a human.”

“Might indeed,” Coals said. He scrolled up through a page of notes. “That could actually shed some light on a couple other spots, now that you mention it.”

Trrili appeared beside us. “Bring up the part about the colony leader mating with someone’s mother.”

I laughed. “I can tell you right now that that’s an insult. The colonist is likely complaining about the boss, not describing something that actually happened.”

Coals looked at Trrili. “Told you we need an insult chart.”

Trrili tilted her head dramatically. “That’s so much work!”

“So’s this,” Coals pointed out. “How about you take another look at what we’ve got so far here, and I’ll start a list of common human insults.”

Trrili took a position in front of the screens, hissing quietly.

“I’ll be happy to help,” I said to Coals. “My people are very creative on that front.”

“So I gather,” Coals said. He scooted over to me, digital notepad at the ready. “And not one of those insults revolves around eggs. Mindblowing.”

“Well,” I said with a tip of my head. “There is the thing about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. That’s kind of an insult.”

“What?” Coals said. “Never mind. I can tell this is going to be a long list.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[alexa-fika]

If your requests are open, how would you feel about child reader being found by Garp, Helmeppo, and Koby?

(Maybe their crew thought they were on the ship and accidentally forgot them on an island or something idk, I just want grandpa Garp with his new grandbaby)

New Apprentice (Koby, Helmeppo x gn!Child!reader x Garp)

A/N YA’LL I COOKED HERE, highkey worried that they are ooc here but other than that I LIKE, proud of how this one turn out, let me know what you think of it. Big brother Koby and Helmeppo 🥹, guys am I the only one picturing that being one of the most wholesome things?

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for reader in japanese

Dividers by @/saradika

“Koby, are you even listening?!”

“Haha, I am Helmeppo”

“Seriously, you have got to start….

Koby let out a nervous laugh as Helmeppo began going on a tangent, scolding him as he focused on the path ahead of him, paying little attention to his partner’s rambles, only giving out the occasional quip here and there to keep him appeased, which did, until he spotted something in the path that got his attention.

He frowned, kneeling down to look at the object, catching the attention of Helmeppo, who watched over his shoulder.

“Huh, is that a stuffed toy?” He asked, looking at the dirt-covered wolf as Koby picked it up, wincing at the red splashes matting its fur

“Yeah…has blood on it.”

“Maybe it’s from someone who left it long ago, maybe from a kid who tripped?” The blond suggested

“No, it’s way too much to be from a scrape, and look,” he said, pointing at the path.

Helmeppo frowned as he spotted the small tracks that cut through the path leading out into the small forest that surrounded it. 

“It rained earlier today, so these had to happen recently, and the blood is fresh, too,” he muttered.

“Let’s go,” The pinkenette announced, following the direction of the tracts, letting himself be guided by the disturbed soil, broken branches, and the occasional drops of red that colored the ground.

“Hey do you thi- Hey! What the hell, Koby?”

“Wha-? What’s wrong Helmeppo-san?”

“Don’t give me that you just chucked a stone at me!”

“What are you talking about Helmeppo-san?” Koby asked, confused as he stood up from his kneeling position as he looked at the tracks

“If it wasn’t you, then wh-OW.”

“I -I will hurt you, s-so go away!” A small voice cried, chucking a rock at the marine

Koby let out a hiss, rubbing his head and turning to the voice, easily finding the culprit standing in one of the tree’s lower branches, a small child holding a handful of stones in their hands.

“Hey, how about we put those down?”

“No!” They cried, throwing yet more rocks at both of them

They squeaked as Helmeppo pulled out his swords and easily cut through the stones set his way. What most caught them off guard, however, was Koby’s sudden disappearance. They stared at the spot he had stood at confused, looking around to see where the man had went with no success.

The child released a surprised gasp as they soon found out the man had appeared beside them on the branch.

Koby enveloped the child in a tight but gentle embrace and jumped off the tree; before he had a chance to address the kid, he found himself stepping back, a shocked look on his face as the child pulled a small knife, trying to stab him.

He frowned, watching as the kid took the opportunity to run behind the tree.

“Koby, wait,” Helmeppo called, putting his arm on his partner’s shoulder to prevent him from pursuing the child.

“Helmeppo-san? We should get the knife from them; they could hurt themselves or hurt someone.”

“I think we should try a different way, look,” he said, gesturing to the crying child peeking out of the tree.

“They aren’t trying to hurt someone; I think they are just scared.”

“Ah, I’m sorry! I don’t want to hurt you; I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Koby cried, taking in the child’s state, letting another cry as the kid ducked behind the tree when he reached out to them.

“Ah, I must have scared you, right? I didn’t mean it; I really am sorry for that,” he apologized, a nervous smile on his face as he sat down. Helmeppo followed suit and sat next to him.

Dokucha popped their head out again, watching as the men sat cross-legged, ways away from the tree.

“Umm, we found this earlier,” Koby tried, showing them the wolf plush.

“Ah! Mr.Okami!” they exclaimed, stepping away from the tree and trying to reach for the stuffed toy, only to realize their actions and quickly step back.

“It’s okay; you can have it back if you’d like; how about we trade?” Helmeppo suggested, pointing to the knife

They seemed to think about it, glancing at the knife in their arms and Helmeppo’s awaiting hand to the stuffed toy Koby was offering to them. Finally, as they slowly made their way to them, they placed the knife on Helmeppo’s hand. The former gave them a small smile as they then walked in front of Koby and grabbed the stuffed toy, hugging the toy tightly as they sat in front of them.

“H-hey, you’re bleeding!” Koby exclaimed, apologizing when they flinched at his tone

Koby glanced at Helmeppo, wondering how they should approach the situation.

“Hey, how about another trade? Your wolf looks like he needs a wash, right?” Helmeppo asks, glancing at their plush

Koby catches on quickly and looks at them with a smile.

“How about we wash him for you, and you let us look at your wound?”

“Y-you’ll keep him safe?”

“The safest,” Koby reassures with a smile.

“Okay”

“Hey, Mister Koby?”

“Yeah?”

“How..umm…how did you disappear before?” They question, looking away as he glanced up at them from his bandaging work

“Disappear?”

“Yeah, when I umm, when I threw a stone at you, you disappeared.”

“Oh, that? It’s a fighting technique; I didn’t disappear; I just moved really fast. It’s called Soru,” he explained with a grin, his attention back on the bandages being applied.

“I uh- I think it was really awesome.”

“Haha, It was nothing; many marines can do it; Helmeppo can do It too,” he brushed off.

“You’re being too modest, Koby,” Helmeppo sighed from his place at the sink, trying to wash the grime and blood off the stuffed toy.

“It’s going to have to soak for a while to make him all clean,” he called, drying his hands off and walking closer to the pair. Seeing the look on the child’s face, he pulled something from his pocket and handed it to them.

“Here, you can take care of our Den-den Mushi for now.”

“It looks different,” they muttered.

“What do you mean?” Koby asked as he clipped the bandage and stepped back

“It looked different in the ship; it was black and white.”

Koby and Helmeppo pause, glancing at each other at the kid’s comment

“Ship?” questioned Helmeppo

“Y-Yeah”

“What did you do at the ship?”

“T-they made me clean the ship, but sometimes they would make me fight o-others or test things for them.”

Those words were all the pair needed to grasp where the child might have come from and what their job at the ship could have been.

“Is that how you got that?” Helmeppo said, pointing to their now bandaged wound

They shook their head at that but made no move to explain themselves.

“Could you tell us about it?” Koby prompted

Once again, they received all but a shake of their head.

“Why?” questioned the blond marine, a frown on his face

“I don’t w-want them to hurt me.”

“They won’t,” Koby answered with a grin.

“We’ll protect you,” Helmeppo confirmed with a slight smile.

“Pinky promise?” they asked, holding out their pinkies.

The two let out a small laugh but nodded and interlocked their fingers with theirs, their pinkies enveloping the child’s much smaller ones.

After sealing the promise, Dokucha proceeded to tell them what had occurred. It seemed like the man who they worked under was dark and twisted, enjoying the creation of painful and deadly viruses and, even more, testing it on the child, letting them reach the verge of death before finally giving them the antidote.

Despite this treatment, it was this same man’s love for pitting his subordinates against each other in a deathmatch that caused them their current wound. As they had refused to hurt the other subordinates, they had found themselves being punished for insubordination by the man.

Koby and Helmeppo listened intently to the child’s story, horrified at the treatment they had endured, and drove the two to tears and sniffles as they embraced them and repeated their promise.

Dokucha’s lip trembled as they sat on Koby’s lap, Helmeppo sitting next to them, an older man sitting in front of them listening as his subordinates filled him on what had happened and why they had returned with a child.

“Wahahaha! Another one?!” he laughed, his booming laugh echoing around the small office

“What about you, you little brat? Do you want to be a marine? Or do you want to be a pirate and have me beat that out of you?”

“Uh, Vice-Admiral Garp, I don’t thin-

“Eek! I- umm- ah-

“Spit it out!”

“Umm, I- I’m not very good at fighting, and I don’t like it either, but I want to be with Koby and Helmeppo!” They exclaimed, apologizing and returning to their timid state once they had realized their outburst

“Wahahaha! That’s a good answer, you squirt. I think I’m going to like you! In that case, you will train under them.”

“T-Train?! Vice-Admiral Garp, I don’t think we are ready to train someone.”

“Don’t worry, Koby! You and Helmeppo will turn them into a fine marine!” He exclaimed with a booming laugh

"How about it, kid?!”

“…” They stayed quiet, unaware of the sudden shift of attention, quiet with a strained smile on their trembling face, eyes blown wide at the interaction

“Uh, Dokucha?” Helmeppo asked, leaning closer to the kid, trying to get their attention

“He was asking you,” he explained

“Yes!”

Koby let out a laugh at their rushed answer as he, too, leaned toward them

“He asked if you would like to train with us, to be a marine.”

“I can be with Koby and Helmeppo?”

“Yes, you would stay with us.”

“I - I really would like that,” they answered bashfully

“Good, I‘ll come by from time to time to check on you and give you some private lessons,” he grinned, smashing his fist against his open palm

“No!!” They screamed as they hightailed it out of the office

“Ah, wait, Dokucha, come back!”

okay I really struggled with the Garp part and the timeskip leading up to him, so do let me know if you liked it. I really struggled him adding him so hopefully it checked the box of Garp and Grandbaby interaction 😂

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[midnight-melancholiaaa]

‘what the fuck was up with that first sol and mae conversation’ - an acolyte ep6 theory/analysis post

I think the start of this episode unfortunately put to bed the theories that Sol was aware of Mae’s identity and baited her onto the ship. So that got me thinking — at what point in the conversation did Sol realise he wasn’t speaking to Osha? What tipped him off? And, generally, what the fuck was that conversation??? Sol??? Hello?????

I think all of this can be explained, and the layers of their conversation peeled back in an interesting way, if Sol realised Mae’s identity earlier than I’d first assumed. I now think a few flags early in the conversation tipped him off, and a lot of his later lines are his response to Mae clearly projecting her own feelings onto “Osha”.

Theory/analysis below the cut!

First off, Mae’s lines and behaviour when she emerges from the engine room are dispassionate in a way we don’t expect from Osha. There’s an argument that this could look to Sol like someone numb with grief and putting on a functional face, but I’m going to list this as Red Flag Number 1. When she asks Sol what’s up with him, she sounds more confused and curious than she does concerned, again not something that tracks as Osha.

However, I think the red flag that dooms Mae is in the following exchange.

“How could I not have sensed that villain’s true intentions when we first met him on Olega”

“I think when you really want something, it can cloud your mind” (Sol looks up) “You see what you want to see. He fooled us all.”

These are some JUICY lines. We’re clearly encouraged to think of their pertinence to Sol, and the Order’s current ignorance of the dark side threat, as well as Sol’s own personal blinders with the Brendok mystery. But this is also the first time we see something key for the rest of this conversation - Mae blatantly projecting her own feelings onto half-hearted mimicry of what she assumes Osha might say.

In her projection, she expresses her own frustration at being misled by the Master, at wanting to believe his structure for Mae’s revenge against the jedi, and hence his shaping of Mae’s life path, was meaningful. I’ve seen Osha’s loneliness discussed a lot by the fandom, but Mae is winning a gold medal in the loneliness contest. She’s spent 16 years desperately searching for someone who understands her in the way she thought Osha did, and whatever kinship she hoped the Master had for her has just shattered. This adds another layer to her too-casual reaction to Sol’s grief. She doesn’t expect a Jedi to feel such love for their padawan, not just because she views the Jedi as dispassionate (which we’ll come back to later), but because her master never felt that way about her. In all these lines, Mae’s betrayal comes across beautifully.

But the mimicry of Osha? Mae failgirls that one. We know Osha to be a straightforward, direct person, rather than someone to speak in riddles, or spout superficially Jedi-style wisdoms with a distinctly-Mae core of cynicism.

This touches on another repeated theme of this scene — Mae clearly doesn’t understand how Osha feels about the Jedi, in a way that speaks to larger issues with understanding her sister as a person separate from herself, with different thought processes and values. When Mae speaks as Osha, it’s hard to tell what’s Mae speaking directly as herself, or Mae as how she thinks Osha thinks, but there isn’t much difference between those two — Mae assumes Osha reacts to situations as Mae would, treating her as a half of the same whole.

Feel free to skip this tangent if you’re just here for the Sol theory!!!!

I think it goes beyond not understanding Osha’s point of view — as the lovely @animazi put it, it’s as if Mae cannot conceive of Osha being a person outside their sisterly relationship and Mae’s coven-derived identity. It’s a complete disconnect of empathy, in that it doesn’t occur to Mae that she should try to empathise.

Mae wants to believe that they are fundamentally the same person. “You see what you want to see.” Mae wants to believe the only reason she and Osha are different is because one has been “corrupted” by the Jedi. She recognises that outside influences and different formative experiences have torn her apart from her sister, but she wants to believe that if Osha was plucked away from the Jedi, if she was taught rather than corrupted (haha I love this episode title), if she knew the ‘truth’ about Brendok, they could revert to a perfect sisterly harmony. A harmony based on Mae’s conception of them.

So of COURSE she doesn’t try to empathise with Osha’s current way of seeing, when she views it as both temporary and fixable, corrupted and false. Mae believes that, as soon as the falsehoods are stripped away, Osha will be herself again, in that Osha will be Mae. Mae believes Osha is simply Mae under a fragile Jedi veneer, explaining why so many of her lines in this scene are essentially Mae talking, with a half-hearted Osha bent.

Apologies for that detour, back to the scene. It’s very striking to me how Sol looks up for the first time in the middle of Mae’s mini-speech. There’s many interpretations for this look, yes, and you could argue he’s having a crisis about the Sol-related clouded vision stuff I mentioned earlier.

But he seems confused, almost frightened, and then the camera comes back to him after Mae finishes, and I think this is the moment.

Please look at these shots and tell me that’s not the face of someone for whom a thousand things have just clicked into place. We see him harden into some new realisation, and then…

“You found him.” (meaningful pause) “Your PIP droid.”

This line is such a non-sequitur that it’s actually what drove me to take another look at this scene. I assumed it was some janky prequel-esque dialogue, but now I’m not so sure. Saying “you found him” so soon after some ominous looks from Sol and the discussion of Qimir could, at the very least, be a nod to Mae’s role in everyone’s brush with the dark side. But, even then, Sol’s deflection to the droid doesn’t make full sense. And then I thought ‘oh shit’…………

After rewatching Episode 5, I’m convinced that Sol is aware PIP was sacrificed and really should not be back with “Osha”. For somebody afraid and grieving and running for their life to calmly find and fix their droid is… not Osha. It’s as if Sol raises the incriminating subject right after his realisation, just to confirm it to himself. And Mae, though slightly nervous, hands him that confirmation on a platter.

To bring back the clouded judgement line again, Sol was blinded. He wanted to have saved Osha, because he could not save anyone else. He wanted to have not failed Osha for the third time. Brendok, leaving the Order, now. It’s Sol in that room, looking at the holo. He wanted to have learned from his mistakes.

But now he knows it is NOT Osha, and the conversation gets 5000% more interesting. To me, his next few lines are gently testing Mae, playing along to see if he can evoke a reaction or a slip from her — if she’ll come clean or double down into the lie. It’s fascinating the way he’s half addressing a hypothetical Osha, and half addressing Mae.

So, first the droid lines, to see if Mae notices her mistake, and then…

“I noticed the way you take care of him, talk to him, love him. Even though he is just a machine.”

This seems like something meant for Osha. It’s something Mae would expect of her sister’s overabundance of compassion, and so something that won’t make her suspicious. But I think the implication of Osha’s loneliness is deliberate, in that we know Mae is also deeply lonely and searching for connection in places it isn’t reciprocated. Down to you if you think the machine allegory is in reference to Mae’s master, and what that might say about Sol’s view of Qimir, or if this is a more take-it-as-written line, but I think it still emotionally resonates with Mae even if she doesn’t want it to. Her expression in this pause does seem to imply as much.

At the end of this speech, Sol moves into that area of shadowy lighting, which I WILL discuss later.

Mae’s response, “I’ve always been like that. Even when I was little,” is also very telling. It’s her reminiscence of child Osha, as loving the small things, and having more reservations about… force-manipulating space hummingbirds? But, with Sol’s double meaning, this line is true of Mae too. Mae’s tendency to love clingily, desperately, in ways that aren’t “appropriate”, as we see in flashback Mae’s attempts to make her sister stay.

And then Sol’s response, a simple “I know”, fits this double conversation too. There’s a parental exhaustion, a heartache for his padawan, and his own (involuntary?) empathy for Mae, the abandoned sister. I think this’ll hit even harder once we know what happened on Brendok — Sol clearly knows more about Mae than he ‘should’.

The pause after this feels heavy, tense, even disappointed. Sol knows that Mae’s resigned to the act. With all this context and lead-up, Sol’s cagey behaviour in the last part of this scene now makes SO much more sense to me.

“I had to lose a lot of myself in order to become a Jedi. Even if I didn’t know it at the time.”

I think this is said to provoke Sol into guilt, but speaks to Mae’s false conceptions of the Jedi, and they way they approach love — she assumes Osha must have had to lose her compassion. More importantly, this shows Mae still does not understand Osha’s motivations for joining the Jedi, and remains emotionally raw about it. How could her “compassionate” sister choose to leave the family who loved her? How could she abandon Mae if the Jedi had not “corrupted” her, had not taken that compassion and loyalty away?

She wants to believe in the Jedi as a stealing, malign influence, because she wants to attribute Osha’s departure to anything other than the fact that Osha and Mae are, at their core, different people. In believing they are the same, Mae still cannot fathom why Osha would choose to lose their family, their coven, their grander destiny, and above all their sisterhood, because this is something Mae would never choose. So of course Mae does not see what Osha loved about the Jedi, of course Mae views the Jedi as merely an agent of loss. A false dream that she must “kill” to bring Osha back to her.

(And this is without even going into whatever the hell the Jedi did on Brendok!)

“I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

All this contextualises Sol’s cagey almost-apology. His body language is SO closed off and suspicious. I don’t think he’s even pretending to speak to Osha at this point — this is directly to Mae. He loves his padawan and supports her decision to join the Order, but regrets the collateral of that decision — a decision he still views as right.

I think that explains a lot about his reaction. He freezes up in the face of Mae’s depth of feeling, and is caught between his empathy and his loyalty to Osha. I’ll agree this is NOT the way to apologise to someone, but what he says is true to Sol — he’s not sorry Osha made the choice she did. But he’s sorry that Mae feels this way, has processed her loss the way she has. The reveal of what happened on Brendok will finalise what level of dickish this is, but it is at least LESS dickish than him saying this to Osha 😭

“How could I feel any other way” is exactly what I’ve said earlier. Mae cannot fathom how Osha could feel any differently than Mae does.

And Sol avoids her eyes and sighs. I think it’s a mixture of regret, of resignation, and of still struggling to confront his own mistakes. That avoidance comes through in the final part of their conversation — a part I’m still struggling to unpack, though I think next week will reveal all.

We’ve seen Sol make several insistences that he’d tell Osha the truth about Brendok, and even this episode we see him prepared to tell the council. So his avoidance now is intriguing. You could argue that he was always going to quail from telling Osha, the way he kept promising it and then delaying it, but I think there’s something else going on.

I think now he knows it’s Mae, the person most damaged by his actions on Brendok, he falters. Aside from Mae’s specific victimhood, there’s also a difference between facing up to someone you trust and hope will have sympathy for you, and facing up to someone who’s just shown how wedded she is to her own way of seeing. The realisation that this is Mae has come so suddenly that in this moment he freezes and avoids. His coldness here is also notable — you could almost think that he resents Mae a little, for ruining this moment that was supposed to be Osha’s.

But is he really doing this for Osha? Did he want Osha to know for her own sake now she’s an adult and the protection excuse is wearing thin, or did he want to seek absolution from her? Is he hoping for a level of forgiveness that he cannot get from Mae? I guess we’ll find out next week…….

A few more notes on Sol before I finish…

Yes this is finally about the shadow thing. My first reaction to this was “hey leslye, what the fuck, OW.” Aside from the classic symbolism of a character stepping into shadow, this specific barred shadow is super reminiscent of the scene where Anakin speaks to Yoda in Revenge of The Sith. Given the topic of that conversation was about fear, passion and anger as paths to the dark side, a topic that Qimir also brings up this episode, I don’t think this is coincidental.

That said, I don’t think the shadows are straightforward Sol-will-fall symbolism. I think they’re emblematic of the emotions he’s struggling with as soon as he realises Mae’s identity. Fear, of the consequences Mae represents more than any other person. Defensiveness from her anger at him and her challenges to his worldview (and, lest we forget, the fact that she could still try to harm him). Perhaps some anger towards HER, for taking Osha, and this moment with Osha as he’d envisioned it, away from him. Anger for her role in the deaths of the other Jedi, at himself for the role HE had in creating Mae’s revenge. But, warring with these darker impulses, also regret, pity, sorrow for his padawan’s sister. That final remorse, in the way his face just slightly changes before the lights come up and the shadows disappear. Such symbolism Leslye I am eating the walls.

Don’t get me wrong, Sol is a man on the edge and I’m excited (afraid?) to see which way the narrative takes him. I think he’s written deliberately enigmatic this episode, and his later scenes will make more sense next week. I have no idea why he switched off his comms and hyperspace jumped instead of facing up to the council. Well, that’s a lie, I have a few ideas…

The scene of Mae in restraints is also ambiguous, though I think it links back to Sol’s surprise at Mae’s identity, and initial freezing up when he realises he’s lost control of the Brendok-reveal. That final scene is him grasping for control back, to control some of his fears and put him in a (metanarrative) place where he feels able to monologue on his own terms next episode. I actually have a lot more thoughts on this scene, and the hyperspace jump, AND some predictions for next week, but they won’t fit in this post. Here [part 2] they are instead!

We’re absolutely meant to doubt Sol this episode. I think Teach/Corrupt is, like much of Episode 6, a title of deliberate double meaning. But I’m also struck by the fear and sorrow in his face in that lovely shot where he shoots Mae through the doorway. His fond, regretful tone of voice in “Oh, Mae…” Not to be Star Wars cliche, but I suspect the good in Sol will win out. If it doesn’t then that’s a heartbreaking twist and I’ll probably throw myself into the ocean!

Either way, this is an episodic mystery show and, much as I can unpick some of Sol and Mae’s behaviour, we’ll only know the full story with hindsight. Here’s to hoping at least some of my theory holds up, and thank you for reading!!!!!!

The Sol Patrol shall forge bravely (and perhaps delusionally) onwards! <3

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I can only imagine the child from solitude having Ace being annoying to them because he’s trying to relate to them.

Like he’s going on and on telling them that he had a treehouse too! And also hunted in the wild! And he also was forced on the ship! But don’t worry he grew used to it and they will too.

The more he goes on and on it only serves to make them more resentful of him.

Because if that’s all true he should know how terrified they are and must feel yet doesn’t acknowledge it.

What’s even worse is that for the few moments they had treated him and look where it led too. They’re not giving him or anyone else on this floating scrap heap another chance at trust.

If he gets into a 5 feet distance of them again their gonna resort to biting as a last ditch effort. Though they quickly learn that doesn’t work and the dumbass just laughs saying it reminds him of someone named Luffy which he then goes off on a tangent about.

Ace tries really hard to push the idea that they're similar and that he understands them, but it only hurts him in the end.

Menace resents him for acting like they're the same and that he "gets it". He doesn't know what it's like to be completely alone for years. He doesn't know about the massive amount of trauma they live with from watching their parents be murdered. All of his attempts to relate to them just highlight their differences to Menace. From their point of view, Ace has lived a downright luxurious and privileged life.

Ace, Marco, and Thatch all have to work extra hard to befriend Menace because of being part of the initial "rescue party".

Thatch gets through to them the fastest because food is a powerful conditioning tool. Menace is a highly food-motivated person, so they realize quickly that it's in their best interest to play nice with him.

Ace has a much harder time, but they'll eventually be worn down by his lax and playful nature.

Marco has the hardest time getting on their good side because he got incorrectly blamed for being the reason Menace passed out. They don't even know what drugs are, so the idea that Thatch drugged the milk he gave them doesn't even cross their mind despite him admitting to it right in front of them. Marco gets the blame because he happened to be touching them when it happened. On top of that, he also has to be their doctor and do some very unpleasant things like rebreaking their nose to set it straight.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday wonderful readers. It's hard to believe we’re on 6x08 already. Thanks for hanging in there with me. 6x05-6x07 are not easy episodes emotionally. So appreciate you all reading these. 6x08 is an emotional ride all its own. This entire season is really. We get a beautiful moment at the end for our ship though. One that still makes me weepy. With the perfect song to go with it. So let's begin shall see?

6x08 Punch Card.

The ep name is punch card when it starts out with a punch to the heart. We see a reminder come up on Tim's phone. It’s about Lucy’s birthday *sad sigh* Not only a reminder but he has 'Birthday' in all caps. Wanted to make sure he didn’t forget. Also and this is just shippy conjecture... Was he did so he could do something special for her. That’s what that reminder represents to me. He quickly swipes it away and tries to swipe the feelings along with it. His sigh and tongue click has me emotional. It’s all through this episode we start to see the regret really begin to sink in for Tim .

I know people were upset he didn't seem as upset as Lucy in 6x07. Trust me that man is WRECKED. He showed signs last ep. But this episode marks the beginning of him truly showcasing all of that. Tim is starting to feel the immense loss he’s inflicted on himself. *phew* I wanna cry. Which has been a theme since 6x05. He is broken out of his emotional revere by the elevator opening. It’s Mad Dog and Blair. The tension is palpable in there but you’re not sure why. Only that something feels very off and wrong about the whole thing.

Tim is so caught up in his Lucy loss he doesn’t pick up on it. Had that reminder not come up he would’ve been sharper. His cop gut screaming out a bit more. But as of right now it's subdued with sadness. Kills me how he wants to rectify things with M.D. Breaks my heart really. He hurt more than just Lucy with his actions. Mad Dog is short with him and not in a place to receive these amends. Tim breaks my heart a little more when he watches him depart. Oh Timothy. He finally acknowledges Dr. London asking if she's getting off here? When she says she took the wrong elevator my red flag was going OFF.

Now comes the scene I know made everyone uncomfortable. I don't love it I'll be honest. But here’s my take on it. Last episode we talked about defense mechanisms a lot. What Tim and Lucy’s were. Why they use them. To me this scene right here is displaying Dr. London’s. I believe she uses flirting as her defense mechanism. They showed her flirting with Aaron at the bar in the recap for a reason. Side tangent about the recap. This will be a small detour to my point lol. They also showed the breakup again in the recap too. Hate that. I'll have PTSD from that scene for life. Like damn recap I don't need the reminder. Don't worry we haven't forgotten I promise you. It's seared in my memory for life thank you very much....

Anyways I think that scene at the bar with Aaron in the recap was to set up this scene. Very intentional of her manipulative flirting. Tim asks about Mad Dog which sets that in motion. So in order not to blow her cover she flirts with Tim. Under the guise of ‘Checking in on him.’ Turning it back around on him by asking how he felt seeing him? She’s doing this to shield herself and deflect further questions about what just happened. Tim is clearly upset and she takes advantage of it. It’s a mixture of the Lucy reminder and now seeing Mad Dog. The manifestation of two relationships he destroyed with his actions in 6x05-6x06.

So even though I don’t love this scene. I get the why and mechanics behind it if that makes sense. I know some people thought him replying back was flirty. I think he was just doing his own investigating. His gut kicking on in this moment. He’s clearly not comfortable with her trying to do therapy outside their sessions. Also his face when he exits the elevator tells me everything. It’s not of a man who flirted. It's one who’s is still deeply hurting. Also conflicted because his cop gut IS going off and he doesn’t know why…. He is feeling as off as we were about her.

We hop over to our girl in Grey’s office. Asking her how her new roommate is working out? That being Celina of course from the previous ep. Reason he’s asking is he needs her to ride with her today. Lucy is so adorable saying she’s not a T.O. though… This is where the scene gets real cute. Grey all but anoints her LOL Lucy’s face when he does is hilarious. Couldn't fit in but was very Lion King vibes up in here haha

Lucy continuing the adorableness asks if he can do that? Wade replying he is all powerful lmao I think this scene is great for a couple reasons. First off thank you Wade Grey for giving her a position of power and authority like this. If anyone has earned it it’s our girl. I also think this is really good for her self esteem. For him to trust her enough to give her a leadership opportunity is huge. Shouldn’t have taken this damn long honestly. But she has been very UC driven since S3.

Regardless I love this so much for her. To prove her leadership skills. To rebuild herself a bit post breakup. Lastly I think this moment is a wee bit of foreshadowing. With the time elapse, I’m sure is to come with the s7 premiere, she could be one by then. This is straight speculation. Since we don't know a damn thing bout s7. But I think it would be real good for her. She would be a superior teacher to new rookies. Far better than numb nuts Nolan…. Grey is MVP two eps in a row I will say.

Tim enters the chat immediately after. He’s so lost in trying to delete his reminder he doesn’t realize Lucy is there. That Lucy smile of his ever present. He literally can’t help it. Man is so damn gone for her. It oozes out of him whenever she is present. Ugh. My heart. Lucy almost returns it because she has for so many years prior. She stops herself midway and reminds her body she’s still mad at him. Tim tries to break the ice a little with his joke. Lucy doesn’t engage as much as he would like of course.

Still picking up the pieces of her broken heart my love. Also the awkwardness that still exists between them is ever present in this short scene. Couldn’t get away fast enough and Grey notices this of course. His reply of 'Wow.' saying it all. The way Tim watches her until she is out of sight *heart clutch* Just watching his entire heart walk out the station….Ain’t no thing…Doesn’t affect me at all. *sniffle* *phew* I’m fine.

This hurts no matter the time that has passed. Hate seeing them like this. I know with s7 in the works we are on the road to recovery. But until said recovery happens, these post breakup eps are gonna hurt like a SOB. There's no two ways about it. Even after they get back together these will still sting. Cause Eric and Melissa did an incredible job with these episodes. This short scene wrecking us shows us their skills. Elevating the material in a way only they can.

Grey notes how awkward that was. Tim telling him it’s better than it has been.... That’s not enough for Wade though. Honestly it shouldn’t be. That he need again to fix this ASAP. This will only continue to breed dysfunction. Which in turn will be a disaster for team cohesion. That he isn't going out that way as Watch Commander. Wade reminding him he NEEDS to work it out with Lucy.

Otherwise it’s going to force him to choose between them. Now you know I love my Tim. Love this man to death. Would fight anyone who knocks on him. But I friggin adore Grey choosing Lucy in this scenario. Tim caused this mess he either needs to clean it up. Or it’s time for him to go. Hurts my heart to write that but it's true. Even though he is senior officer, worked there longer, been under Wade longer it doesn’t matter. He will be the one shipped off. Taking her side is the right thing to do.

Makes me wanna cry the thought of him being sent away. I remember first time watched this it started a deep ache in my gut. One of massive anxiety. Of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since s2. Just looming overhead ready to take one of them. Almost happened in 5x12 too. Anyways does my heart good he sides with Lucy in this matter. This is Tim’s mess to fix and no one else’s.

Lucy meets up with Celina and asks if she’s ok with this? Ever the amazing empath our girl. Celina looks psyched as hell to have Lucy. How could she not be? Wealth of knowledge to give her in a kind but commanding way. Getting to see Lucy show off her leadership skills is making me giddy. On a solo character level was my fav part of the ep. (Clearly not counting the Chenford stuff)

Her leadership style is right there with mine. Where I am 90 percent Tim her being a T.O. Is all me. Her style is pretty damn identical to mine. Telling her she wants to ‘Invest in her success.’ Is me all damn day. Thats all I ever wanted for my team. For them to see I was investing in them and there to make them better. It’s cute how excited Celina is for this. Hell of an upgrade from the bumbling bone head she usually has.

The Aaron and Tim show begins and I’m here for it. I’ve always enjoyed their dynamic. Aaron pushing Tim a little more than most would. We know Lucy has softened him to the point where he doesn’t kill Aaron. ha Asking why he has to be the one to be in uniform and not Tim? Lmao Because you are the rookie dearest haha These two are goobers together and I love it sfm. You can tell he is dying to ask Tim if he is struggling right now. Because he went from QB to water-boy for Metro.

Like I said earlier it’s really starting to hit Tim the relationships he fractured. The regret is coming at him from all sides in this one. First Lucy and now this. Aaron can’t help it and asks anyway even though he shouldn’t. Tim gives him the company line of course. Pulling some S1 Tim out in this van. Telling him he does what he’s told without complaint. Ok babe yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting you….

He went from running this entire team. Making calls on the fly to this. Boring grunt work. Tim bounces back with his sassy comment about his deodorant. I’m cackling because Aaron’s reaction is so damn funny. He gets so distracted by this he doesn’t write anything down. Tim’s face when he asks why isn’t documenting this is so funny. The most Aaron thing he could do. Be derailed by Tim's comment and not pay attention. Oh I will miss you Aaron Thorsen.

I am enjoying Lucy’s teaching so much. Partly because it reflects how I teach. She corrects without crushing her confidence. She also does it afterwards as not to ding her confidence in the moment. Exact reflection of what I used to do for my work kids. Lucy is kind but confident in her correction. Doing it in the moment so it sticks, but waiting till after they’re done for her to properly receive it. Celina receives it well because even though it’s one she is told in a kind manner. I just love it sfm.

The other reason I love it is because Lucy is out here crushing it. Zero T.O. Training but picking it up like she’s been doing it for years. She is going off instinct and what she would’ve wanted as a rookie. I had zero training when I was told to train new hires as a manager. So I went based off my experience and what I would’ve loved to know when I was new. So her tactics are very similar to me and makes me happy to see it.

Already light years ahead of Nolan it’s insane. Tim would be so proud of her if he could see it. We all know how seriously he takes training new officers. The sacred duty that it is and needs to be treated as such. Lucy is doing all that and more. Feels like more foreshadowing for her to become one in s7. Would crack me up if she got one of the new ones and Tim got the other. They could compare and contrast their leaderships styles. See who does better. But I’m daydreaming with that ha

Tim’s phone goes off again. Reminding him once again Lucy’s birthday is tomorrow. Tim is hit with a double gut punch in this moment. First grunt work for Metro then Lucy loss as the second one. Aaron noting he must’ve set it quite a few times... Which is heart breaking to think of in this moment. It is sweet he set it up so many times so he wouldn’t forget it. I think pre-breakup Tim didn’t want to lose track of this important day.

Also my guess is he wanted to make a big deal of it too. Their days are unpredictable so makes sense he would set so many. That’s pure conjecture on my part. But watching him through out their relationship this lines up. Seeing how he doted on her and brought her thoughtful gifts. He was most definitely going to do that. Like I said earlier this ep is starting to reflect the cracks in his foundation.

His facade of pretending to be okay after their breakup is starting to fade. The fact that he says ‘Girl you broke up with.’ Not his ex is speaking volumes to me. It’s starting to dawn on him truly what he’s lost and done. Because you would say ex if it was something to move on from. The regret is starting to seep in and breaks my heart to watch it. But also it’s good to see him feeling it. Now that’s he’s regulated and going to therapy, his clarity on what he’s done is coming up for air. It’s weighing on him, and we can see that clearly in this scene.

This next part really gets me in the feels. Tim asks if he got her anything? Being vulnerable for the first time in their convo. Look at that puppy in the first couple gifs. Aaron tells him yes. A spa day at the Four Seasons. It’s the smile here that gets me. Even thinking about Lucy brings about that smile of his. The one that only comes up around her or about her. He knows exactly how much his girl is gonna love that. Enjoy it. Also thinking how much she deserves such a gift.

The smile has me reeling. He just loves her so much. He can’t help but do that in love smile when he thinks about her. *screams into a pillow* Then his smile ends with sadness. Eric be killing me for a 4th ep in a row. We watch the smile tail off with a tinge of sadness. Because he’s not going to see how happy that gift makes her. How she would’ve dragged him along with her most likely. It’s really hitting him he’s lost her. Lost access to that part of her life now.

The happiness to heartbreak in that smile is masterful on Eric’s part. Just look at him in that last gif. I was feeling all that from his smile. It’s subtle but impactful as hell. Eric and Melissa’s speciality at breaking our hearts. Especially this season. His reaction is screaming how much he still loves her. Carrying the burden of what he’s done is becoming more and more evident. Mourning the loss of what he hastily threw away. Hurts so good. Maybe they’ll be together by her next bday and he can make up for it. A girl can dream right?

The boys share a nice moment and I love it. Aaron pushes it with his final question though. You can see him drawing up the courage to ask Tim. Wanting to know what everyone wants to know. Why they split up? Tim’s reply cracking me up. He is as sharp and curt as can be. No more emotion left in his tone. ‘No’ LMAO Vulnerable Tim is gone now. Took it too far Aaron...

The balls on you sir to ask that my god. Lucy doesn’t even know why. You sure as hell aren’t going to get that answer…Honestly you’re lucky you got Tim as vulnerable as you did good sir. But gotta love him trying and failing super hard. Makes a bittersweet scene end on a funny note that made me chuckle.

This scene with Mad Dog hurts my heart. Tim is facing the repercussions of his actions so hard in this episode. From both barrels of Metro and Lucy. It’s good for him to feel and see what he’s done. That doesn’t mean it does hurt me to watch it. I’m still protective of him even though it’s what he needs to see and experience...

My worry was something like this happening. Working with Metro was going to reopen a wound that’s hasn't even begun to heal. We know what happens with M.D. later. So, a part of this is projection is because he knows he’s walking his guys into a trap somewhat. Worried Tim is going to find him out through his OP plan. That being said doesn’t make it easier to watch him dismantle Tim.

I will say it is yummy to see him in street clothes and jeans. That badge prominently on his hip. Mmmm gimme. Wouldn’t be me if I didn’t gawk at him a little would it? Also haven’t done it in a minute due to the non stop heartbreak since 6x05.

The OP goes sideways in the worst way. They’re ambushed and his guys end up in the hospital. Nash is in surgery due to the explosion. Tim comes to see Mad Dog and it feels all kinds of off. He’s expecting Tim to flog him for what he’s done. That his OP lead his men into danger. Almost as if he wants Tim to reprimand me for what he’s done. But he’s in the dark to what’s going on so Tim can’t possibly do as such.

Tim’s cop gut is kicking into high gear during this scene though. Between M.D. acting completely different post OP and his reaction to Blair appearing. Tim questioning how in the hell she even knew about this? She comes up with a pretty slick answer that pacifies Tim for now. But it’s seeing Mad Dogs reaction that has his red flag going up.

He can barely look at Blair in the eye. Tim noticing and bringing it up. M.D. plays it off as being tired. That he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings right now. Tells Tim they shot him full of painkillers. He’s gonna shut down for awhile. Tim understands and doesn’t linger. I remember knowing at this point she was dirty. But could also see the internal struggle going on inside her. Which intrigued me to why she was dirty in the first place? All things to come in later eps...

Now comes the best part of the entire episode. One that we all still think about. How could we not? Eric and Melissa were once again surprised how much we loved this scene. What’s not love? What's not lose our minds over? Return of Kojo, the song that is utter perfection, and the fact that Tim reached out through him to say Happy Birthday. Makes me teary just thinking about it. I'll never be over this scene. How it felt like a true start to healing our shipper hearts. Because they've been in ROUGH shape for awhile.

We all needed this moment. After such utter heartbreak and turmoil the last 3 episodes. This was like coming up for air for the first time to truly breathe. Melissa killing us right off the bat. Her face was all of us in this moment. The way she lights up when she sees Kojo. Their cute fur-baby just sitting in the hallway with a card in his mouth. I’m not crying you are... Also makes me giggle a little thinking how Tim had to run from the door after he knocked. To make sure only Kojo was there. It's the sweetest thing. *happy sigh*

Killing me softly with how she pets him. Asking how he is. Telling him she misses him. Just like Tim in the van her smile morphs. It goes from happiness to sadness. Because Kojo is an extension of Tim. Her saying she misses him is having a double meaning here. Despite all the hurt Tim caused her she misses him so much.

It’s reflected in how she is loving on Kojo. Her words have an extra meaning to them. Of course she misses her fur-baby. But she also misses her person. A piece of her heart is missing with him gone. This scene has me teary from beginning to end. We missed this good boy so much. Such a tearjerker of a moment when she reunites with him.

When Kojo takes off back to Tim it’s like watching a part of her heart go along with it. Knowing where he is running back to. The ache in her heart that is still there. She knows he’s in that hallway. It's bittersweet because even broken up she brings the best out in Tim. This wonderful gesture is due to how he’s grown because of her. If you weren't crying in this moment you're dead inside lol I'm sorry.

Tim wrecks me with how he’s looking toward that same hallway. He can only imagine what her reaction is. Hoping it's a good one. That what he's done here is having a positive effect on her. It is. What a way to bring this sweet boy back in. They really killed it with this scene. I love Tim keeping his distance. Respecting her space in this moment. But knowing he couldn’t let her b-day go without acknowledging it. This was the best way to do it.

Also the fact that this is happening in that hallway. One that represents so many seminal moments for them. I just wanna sob at the beautiful symbolism of this. You can see the regret building on Tim’s face once again. The distance he can feel between them. It's like he’s finally grasping what he’s done. The regrets he feels starting to truly mount in this moment.

Melissa’s reactions after Kojo leaves are absolutely killing me. The tears in her eyes as she picks up the card. Evoking so much emotion out of me just watching her. This is where the lyrics had me bawling. Because it so perfectly represents Lucy in this moment.

"When the sun won't shine and the words don't rhyme And there's mountains you can't move.

Something's on your mind And it's been some time since you felt like you were you.

When it all caves in, feeling paper thin And the pain might cut right through. "

This has been Lucy since the end of 6x06. Hell it was the fandom. The sun has not shined since that day for her. She hasn’t felt like herself in what feels like eons. Her pain feeling so very paper thin. The smallest thing cutting right though her. What happened between them rocked Lucy to her very core. She’s still sitting in the pain of it all. Him giving up on them so easily is haunting her. Probably wondering if he loved her as much as she loved him? Those intrusive thoughts running on an endless loop in her brain since it happened.

“When you feeling like you ain't got a friend, And you wondering' if you ever gonna' smile again. Every little things gonna be okay.” This one getting me in the feels as well. Another perfect reflection of how Lucy is feeling. I know what it’s like to feel this way. Alone in your pain. Wondering if you’re ever gonna smile again. Be happy. It seems so far off. These lyrics were so perfectly poignant. They were very intentional in using this song. As much as these lyrics made me cry they also filled me with hope and comfort. Particularly the line in that last lyric. That everything is going to be ok. If you haven’t downloaded this song. I highly it recommend it. 'Lift Up Your Head. by Esabalu'

What makes the rest of this moment so beautiful are the following gifs. Lucy opening that card and seeing what Tim has done for her. This is also the first time we’ve seen Lucy cry about them. And it hurts like hell to watch. Like I said she’s been sitting in this pain. Wondering if this relationship meant more to her than it did Tim. Then he does this. Acknowledges her birthday in the perfect way. It does a couple things. One it shows he wanted to make sure this day didn’t pass without him acknowledging it. That’s he’s thinking about her.

Two it shows Lucy he stills cares about her. The gift in itself shows the level of care. He’s reaching out to her without physically doing so. I mean the effort he put into this is immense. He was so creative and thoughtful. Having it come from Kojo and not himself. Executing the perfect delivery on-top of it as well. The way she touches the paw print has me bawling. Just mopping up my tears at this point. Knowing what this card meant. What it represented. Lucy no doubt has been torturing herself still about why it ended.

How he didn’t care for her the way she did for him. She really needed this. Because it shows it has nothing to do with Tim's feelings for her. You don’t put this kind of effort in if you don’t still love someone. Her reaction is the second gif screams that. Lucy still doesn’t understand why. But she can rest little easier knowing it wasn’t about his feelings for her. This shows her he still cares deeply for her. Man owes her a conversation still but this was a beautiful start towards that. Towards healing.

Tim’s face KILLS me. I think the writers intentionally wrote him to come off as if he wasn’t as affected. That this breakup wasn’t killing Tim. When it absolutely was. He needed time to regulate and some therapy to get here. Also it makes this scene hit a little harder doesn’t it? That man’s face above is one of absolute regret. It’s truly hitting him what he’s done to her. Eric once again murdering my feels. They both are.

You can see the myriad of emotions splayed across his beautiful face. It’s here he’s finally grasping what he’s thrown away. Knowing he should be there right now. Celebrating her birthday along side her. That bath bomb she mentions earlier in the scene should be been shared together. This hurts so good. I commend them for the buildup to this moment. We needed that episode previous to get to this point.

For Tim to finally feel the regrets raining down on him right now. That is the face of a man who knows he ruined everything. Fucked up a perfectly wonderful relationship. Destroyed his happiness and hers. Hurt his favorite person in the process of his spiral. It's killing him he can’t be there for her like he used to be. Shut that door when he tossed them away. As much as this moment hurts it's huge step towards reconciliation. Tim coming to the realization of how he’s hurt her and the regret he feels due to it.

Also only Eric and Melissa could have SO MUCH chemistry and not even been in the same room. These final two gifs say it all in that regard my god. You can feel the anguish and emotion between them. Just emanating from them and to each other. I love our ship. I love the actors we are blessed to have portray them. Look at our beautiful babies above. Their on screen chemistry leaves me in awe of them. They aren't even sharing the same space and are exuding chemistry. These final lyrics of this song left me with so much hope.

“All these troubles only gonna last for a while

Yeah, we're gonna be alright, oh, child, lift up your head (yeah, the light, yeah, the light's gonna find you)

And the light's gonna find you”

These troubles are only gonna last for awhile fandom. This season felt like an eternity of pain after 6x05 but we’re gonna be alright. S7 is gonna be that light I just know it. Gonna be worth all this pain and heartache. When we're on the other side of it gonna be so much better. We are so lucky are babies get to be front and center and get these growth SL's. Have depth like they do. I'll take that over blah puddle deep Balian any day. S6 hurt so much. But this too shall pass it'll pass like a kidney stone but it'll pass for us.

Our beautiful moment is interrupted by a text from Mad Dog. He’s asking Tim to come find him to talk. They’re on a roof and that immediately made me nervous. Mad Dog tells Tim one of their guys Nash is paralyzed… I mean this adds to M.D's guilt. To why he ends up killing himself later in this scene. Tim tries to comfort him and let him know it could be temporary. This is where his confession starts. Saying it wasn’t supposed to go down like it did. It never does when you dirty like that…Tim asks him if he compromised the OP?

Tim is in absolute shock as he asks this of his former brother in arms. This is a hard scene to watch. Tim is seeing a man he used to trust his life with be revealed as dirty. That he was compromised. What a gut punch for him. I know Tim struggles with his mistakes still. But the difference being is his were always with the best intentions. He may not see that yet but his honor was always intact with them. His good intentions still present. Tim asked who he told? We all know at this point even Tim does but he needs confirmation. M.D. replies he can’t tell him. She knows all his secrets….Ugh.

Then he kills himself. Last thing this poor man needed was to see this. I do think it’s an interesting parallel to Tim. Why you ask? This could’ve been Tim if had ZERO honor. Zero integrity and moral compass. Had no one there to help support him. What he sees with his mistakes as being un-honorable was never this. M.D. is a person without the fortitude Tim has. It’s why he was turned and can’t live with himself after. I hate it being Dr. London I really do. But if not for her sessions how he reacts after this could’ve been so much worse than it was. His face when he looks over the edge is a knife to my heart...

Thank you once again to you all for reading, liking, commenting (Keep em coming I love them.) and reblogging these reviews. They mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x09 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

Blair being crooked SUCKS. No two ways about it. I fought the idea so hard when the season was happening. Not because I liked her but because of Tim and Aaron too of course. But at this point it was for Tim. He had been vulnerable with her. Started therapy because of her and I was really worried that would be tainted.

Nothing really other than that just Nolan and he doesn't matter lol

[zorosjuicymelonsx]

Finding You

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 7 ya'll!

I was torn between two gifs to use for this chapter (its getting harder to pick) but like can we please take a moment to admire Zoro in this gif? I just imagine he doing this when Y/N catches him staring and he's like 'oh shit act casual' 🤭💚 I loved writing this chapter so much, I really got in my feels and hope you guys enjoy reading it. I'll be back in two weeks with the next chapter. I need some extra time to catch up with planning and writing the next chapters 🥺✨

Chapter Seven Previous Next

Hours had passed since Zoro sent himself to train in the Crows Nest. His body cocooned with sweat and his arms began to numb as he swung his heavyweight barbell over his head for the thousandth time. He knew it was overkill but he didn’t know what to do with himself. In his head; you were just you with no mental attachments but he couldn’t understand the yearning ache he felt around you in his heart. He had remembered only one memory that he would never admit he replayed in his head often in the hopes other memories would spur to end the vicious war his mind and heart were playing with each other. 

Eventually Zoro forced himself to drop the heavyweight barbell. As the weight hit and he brought himself to sit, he grabbed the towel he had nearby to wipe off the excess sweat. Satisfied with the moisture to dried skin ratio, he closed his eye to clear his mind and zoned in on his breathing. 

“Focus.” He mumbled to himself in the hopes it would help. 

In the thick of the silence and his ongoing mental confusion, he did not anticipate that his mind would take him back to recapping the entire day he’d spent with you, flickering through the outfits you’d tried on and your smile on constant display throughout despite how sour it ended with the dirtbag at the bar. You had shone brightly in the dimness that was his mind. 

He opened up his eye to look down at his hands, bringing his attention to the hand that bruised your wrist. The guilt he felt then returned and twinged his heart.

“For fucks sake.” He spoke irritatedly, clenching his fists for a few seconds. He gave up on meditation as a whole and laid himself back on the floor in defeat letting his mind go into the mental tangent he’d fought so desperately not to have since leaving you on the deck. 

The words he spoke earlier were still bothering him. He had no clue where it had come from, having no recollection of prethinking the words before they came out. He couldn’t fathom what was going through your head after hearing him say the words. Remembering the surprised look on your face, he was appreciative that you tried to change the topic to keep him calm. 

‘I called her my wife.’ He thought over it. It was the first time he spoke the words and solidified it into existence. 

Is it possible that somewhere deep down inside he felt more for you than he could mentally wrap around his mind?

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

Somewhere in the vast sea of the New World, a large dark ship hidden away sailed miles behind the Thousand Sunny undetected. The very capitain of the ship Enver who had invaded the Straw Hats sat in his captains quarters going over every plan he could think of to get closer to you and achieve his goal without compromising his plans or crew.

“We failed to capture her. I can’t seem to comprehend how we keep missing her at every chance.” Enver spat, his teeth gritted as he scrunched an old map he had in his hand out of anger. He hadn’t anticipated you would actually find the Pirate Hunter, the last few years he had spent tailing you and waiting for the right moment to make his move and reintroduce himself. 

“What do you want to do about Roronoa?” Enver’s first mate Jacob stood beside watching the demise on his captain's face. 

“I’ll admit that we underestimated just how strong the Straw Hats are. We need to lure her away from them to have a chance. Especially him. I don’t like how strong he’s become since the last time I met him.” Enver stood from his chair, moving away to glare out of the window in his quarters with his arms folded. 

“Would he regain any memory of her?” Jacob questioned. Enver sighed out frustrated at the small possibility but shook his head to disagree. 

“He has no memory of her whatsoever. I made sure to remove every trace of her from his mind during our fight in Shimotsuki.” Enver affirmed to himself. 

“It would’ve been easier to wipe hers completely rather than his.” Jacob mumbled out. This set off Enver. He turned and with a few quick strides grabbed Jacob by his shirt and slammed him against the wall nearest to them. 

���I’ve already explained this to you a hundred times: Roronoa was blocking my way when I had planned to wipe her memory after their wedding. I had to get rid of him to even stand a chance to get closer to her. Even then, she left to look for him.” Enver angrily spat out before releasing Jacob. He regained his composure knowing how easily riled up his captain can get. No matter how angry Enver became and took it out on him, Jacob owed Enver his life for saving him when he was poor and pathetic back home. He brought him back to life and purpose. He would do anything to ensure his captain's goals are met. 

“It won’t be easy but I can’t take much more of this. I need her.” Enver mumbled out, turning to look back through the window and live in his head of fantasies of everything he wanted to do to you.  ————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

The next week you could say was…weird. You noticed Zoro seemed a bit more observant with you. Whenever you were at the table in the galley with everyone for food or if you were training on deck, you could feel Zoro’s gaze on you. You’d be lying if you say you didn’t love the attention you were getting from him but at the same time you didn’t want to give yourself false hope that maybe he could feel the same way you do. You couldn’t explain the hug or the way he referred you as his wife in the bar. He had been sporadic in the past and when you did question him then he just gave a ‘felt like it’ reason. 

For that, you chose not to overthink it but you’d already spent an embarrassing amount of time questioning Zoro’s intentions despite drawing no conclusions from them. 

You were officially put on your first night watch. You’d arranged for pillows and blankets to be comfortably placed in the Crows Nest, courtesy of Sanji and Robin for helping you set it all up. Sanji had also made you an assortment of your favourite snacks with plenty of beverages to keep you full and satiated throughout the night. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself up here Y/N-chan?” Sanji asked with a hint of worry in his voice. 

“Of course Sanji, don’t worry.” You said assuringly as you patted his shoulder to comfort the cook. You would have considered it a sweet moment between the both of you but seeing Sanji lift up his blazer to sniff where you patted him definitely changed that for you. 

You waved bye to Robin and Sanji, settling into your warm furnishing whilst picking up a book you had ready to read. You were not used to the silence that settled in around you, finding comfort in having background noise but you were also appreciative of it from time to time. As you opened the book to begin reading the adventure book Robin had recommended to you, the sound of the hatch could be heard opening. On instinct, you frowned as you immediately dropped the book and reached for your sword only to see a head of green pop through. 

On realisation it was Zoro, you breathed a sigh of relief before you released your grip from the sword with a smile now etched on your face. Zoro had closed the hatch behind him, walking a few steps forward to stand in front of you whilst awkwardly observing your setup. 

“You look cosy.” Zoro mumbled.  

“Well well well, what brings you here Zoro? Surprised you found your way here.” You teased, smiling at him whilst he offered an eye roll. 

“The stupid cook kept whining about you being up here all alone and I couldn’t sleep so..” Zoro slurred the last few words out. Knowing the swordsman's sleeping habits made it hard to believe but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. 

Zoro won’t admit that he’s gotten used to sleeping next to you. He didn’t want to migrate back with the others, having gotten used to the sounds of your gentle breathing as opposed to the loud snores Luffy breathed out on a nightly basis. 

“Would you like to join me?” You offered as you lovingly patted the space next to you. Zoro looked at how comfortable you were under the blankets, nodding before untying his swords to place them next to yours and crawling to sit next to you. He sighed a breath of relief before digging in his sash and pulling out a bottle of sake. 

“Of course.” You mumbled out giggling before going to pick up your book and attempt to start reading it. 

A minute of silence passed and you’d expected to hear the sound of gulping but heard nothing. You looked up from the page to see Zoro staring at you intently, the unopened bottle still grasped firmly in his hand. 

“Does it bother you?” Zoro asked. 

“Does what bother me?” You asked, feeling confused by the nature of his question. 

“My drinking habits.” You let out a small ‘ah’ in understanding. You shook your head to disagree.

“Not at all, you’ve always been like this since the start. Wouldn’t change a thing. I’m sorry if I made you feel anyway.” You said with guilt laced in your voice. Zoro grunted before opening the bottle of sake and taking a few chugs from it. You returned to your book and you both sat in comfortable silence for some time. You managed to get through the first chapter of your book before bookmarking it and picking up your beverage to take a sip. With your thirst quenched, you put your drink back and turned to see Zoro’s eye closed and his breathing evened out. You knew he wasn’t sleeping and you decided to ask him the one question that's been nagging you since you arrived on the Sunny. 

“Can I ask what happened to your chest?” 

Zoro opened his eye to see you looking at him, your eyes beaming with curiosity. He forgot that you didn’t know what happened to him. 

“Challenged Mihawk.” He said in two simple words. Your eyes widened and you soon changed your seating position to now face him entirely, your smile widening. 

“You found him?!” You asked excitedly, taking your drink back in your hands to centre your excitement. 

“Y-yeah, how did you know? Did Robin tell you or?” He asked, confused. He hadn’t expected your reaction to be this animated. You laughed before taking another sip of your drink. 

“I mean we are married, duh of course I would know. You were always so excited to tell me how you would find him and challenge him to take his title. Plus, you promised Kuina afterall to be the world's greatest swordsman.” The mention of Kuina made Zoro’s eye widen with surprise. 

“Kuina?” 

You nodded before crossing your legs to sit more comfortably. 

“I was devastated when she passed away, everyone was. She was amazing and an example of how being a woman shouldn’t stop you from achieving your dreams. Heck, she’s even given me a lecture to grow a backbone.” You smiled, your voice was filled with both humour and sadness that she was taken away so early. 

You sighed, looking away from Zoro and down at your lap. You sighed before clearing your throat. 

“I wasn’t supposed to but after the funeral, I was walking through the dojo to get my bag when I heard your voice coming from the room you were in with Koshirou. Seeing you like that…I remember how sad it made me. You could tell you took it the hardest out of everyone and when I heard you say you wanted Kuina’s sword, I felt somewhat relieved it would be in good hands. I’m glad you’re treating Wado well. She would be proud of you.” You shyly confessed. You hadn’t told him this even before he lost his memory. 

Pain seared back into his head, Zoro closed his eye grunting as he captured his head with his palm leaning forward. He knew what this was and didn’t fight it. He welcomed the memory into his head despite the infuriating ache that came with it. 

‘The memory took place from a different perspective; he was himself as he was currently and stood somewhere as if he was in observation.

“Honey, what's that you’re holding behind you?” 

Hearing your voice, Zoro turned in the direction of where it was coming from to see you. 

You giggled as you approached Zoro who stood by a tree. He assumed it was the forest back home as he watched a younger version of himself walk to you with something wrapped behind his hands. He saw himself now stood in front of you and leaned to give you a quick peck before bringing the gift from behind him to offer it to you. 

He saw you beam while you perked an eyebrow before accepting his gift. You unwrapped it and saw a sword. He recognised the sword to be the same that you carry with you now. He saw you gasp and display the biggest grin on your face. 

“Please accept this. I wanted you to carry something from me to remind you that I’ll always be by your side.” He saw the smile bright on his face. He made a note that you both look younger, assuming this is a much older memory. 

“I love it, thank you.” You blushed before tiptoeing to kiss him. He felt himself blush seeing how he watched himself grab you to pull you in closer to deepen the kiss.’

…..

“Zoro???” 

He was shook out of the memory, the pain dulled down as he opened his eye to see the worry in your eyes. His eye wandered to the sword that you had propped next to you. It was in pristine condition and felt his heart swell with pride. He wasn’t ready to leave the memory, he wanted to see more. 

“Are you okay? What was that?” You questioned him, panic laced in your voice. 

“n-Nothing, I think it's for the sake. I drank it a bit too quickly.” He mumbled out. You felt some relief hearing this despite the fact you’d spent the last minute trying to call out for him. You only realised then it wasn’t the first time he’d shown this kind of pain and made you question whether you should disclose this to Chopper or not. 

“I hope you’re not mad about me listening to the conversation you had about Kuina’s sword. I’m sorry, I know it's not easy to talk about. I just held onto that for years and felt now was the right time to talk about it.” You rambled guiltily as you fidgeted with your drink in your hand. 

Being brought back to reality, Zoro hadn’t expected anyone to know about his breakdown with Koshirou. Being a child and losing someone who you looked up to would affect anyone. He didn’t know what to say or do other than grunt in acknowledgement, turning to look at Wado. The sword will always keep him grounded, reminding him of his shared dream with her. 

“It's fine, we were kids. You didn’t know better.” You looked at him before nodding to yourself. You then saw the sake bottle was still in his hand and you reached over to take it away from him. 

“Maybe lay off this for a bit.” You said before laughing and tucking the bottle behind you. For once, Zoro didn’t argue and willingly accepted letting you take it. 

Silence filled the room again as you leaned back and returned to your book. Unknowing to you, Zoro used the silence to process the memory as he looked across the room. He never remembered ever seeming so…happy. The way he smiled at you in the memory, there was so much life in it. The way you looked at him with so much care and content. Seeing the both of you together somehow began to make more sense to him. He recalled over the last few weeks how easy it was for him to just converse or sit in comfort with you. Your kindness, your will, your selflessness. It didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

Zoro turned to look at you to observe you, seeing your eyes sparkle as they glided across the page along with the words. His eye trailed down from the gentle slope of your nose to the suppleness of your lips as they slightly pouted out in concentration. He then took in your face as a whole and the way your hair sat to bring your whole beauty in together. He fought back a blush, allowing the tips of his ears to reddin. He’d previously acknowledged your looks but seeing you as you are now… 

‘You’re beautiful Y/N’ 

“Everything okay?” 

He didn’t notice you were staring at him puzzled. The swordsman feeling embarrassed he’d been caught staring harder than he anticipated nodded before looking away to stare at the wall. 

“How did you get your devil fruit powers?” Zoro asked, hoping to change the subject now looking down to his lap as he pinched at his haori. 

“You finally want to admit it's cool?” You joked. Zoro looked back up at you, smiling as he scoffed at your ridiculousness  before shaking his head at you. You hummed in acknowledgement of his question, taking your time to collect your thoughts before you told the story for the first time out loud. 

“I stole the fruit.” You admitted your second confession of the night. 

Now this made Zoro laugh out loud. 

“Now that I wasn’t expecting to ever hear from you.” He said as he stared at the growing redness of what seemed to be a mixture of embarrassment and shame. 

You’d never told anyone how you obtained your fruit, choosing to keep it to yourself in case the very people you robbed decided to go on a widespread manhunt for you. 

“What? You don’t think I’m capable of doing bad things?” You defended, knowing you didn’t look the type to steal. In all honesty, you wanted to live a life as honestly as possible. Unfortunately, the last few years had opened your eyes to accept that sometimes you had to be dishonest to survive. 

“Alright, I'm invested now; why’d ya steal it?” Zoro continued encouraging you. 

You placed your drink down, wiping your hand from the moisture that collected from it on the comforter. You leaned to lay back down, your head sinking into the pillow before sighing out and looking at the ceiling. 

“After you disappeared and I made the decision to travel out and find you, the biggest con was the travel was taking too much time. Not a lot of ships as you know come to the village and finding my way around islands became a chore. A few months into my journey, I was in a bar resting and planning the next place to go to look for you when I overheard a couple guys on my right bragging about a devil fruit they stole from a group of pirates. They spoke about the fruit and how it was rumoured to give the user the ability to travel through holes to go to different places at your will or by chance. I was intrigued and desperate.

I made the choice to take a risk and steal it for myself. I followed them to where they were staying and thankfully they were so drunk and passed out once they got to their own ship. I snuck onboard and looked around for it. It was really hard to see since it was dark but I eventually managed to find a box that stuck out like a sore thumb and when I opened it; I saw the fruit. 

I knew that there was no guarantee it was the right fruit and I would lose my ability to swim but if it meant I got this advantage then so be it. I ate the fruit, bare in mind it was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.” 

This made Zoro laugh again. You smiled before continuing. 

“I ate every last bit of that fruit. I managed to leave the ship without being detected and decided to flee the island itself just in case anyone else may have seen me sneaking on the ship to begin with. I chose to travel to a quieter island, one where there weren't a lot of people and where I could have some privacy to practise using the fruit. The fear of just being on the boat knowing one wrong move and I’d drown is scary as hell. I wasn’t ready to die just yet. 

I spent a LOT of time practising how to use my new abilities. It was a huge challenge and it took me about a year to summon just my first hole. The first island I travelled with my new abilities I unfortunately ended up being on an island with cannibals. They really tested my stamina. I was forced to use my ability again to travel back and because of that I found out the consequence of using the holes more than once in a day. I ended up spending three days barely conscious and recuperating completely alone. I don’t even want to get into the time I landed on Marijouse Island and was almost sold into slavery.” 

“I hate that place, some guy didn’t want to admit he wanted directions and had the audacity to point a gun at me.” Zoro mumbled out bitterly. 

“I mean look where I am now. It was worth it.” You said brightly to lighten the mood. 

“Did you have doubts you’d never find me?” Zoro questioned. 

“I did at one point. It was about two years into travelling when I had second thoughts. I was exhausted. I was running low on money, my father refused to help me. Lily had started her life with her new husband and children and I couldn’t bare the thought of burdening her. 

I didn’t give up because I knew that I would spend the rest of my life thinking about how much I would regret not getting any closure from you. I couldn’t bear the thought of starting another life with someone else. I couldn’t get over you and I don’t think I could love anyone as much as I love you. I respect you for having your ambitions and I had planned to stay by your side as you worked towards becoming the world's greatest swordsman. If I had to sacrifice myself to make sure you continue and achieve that, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

Zoro was stunned in silence as he stared at you. 

“Well that was a lot, haha.” You breathed out feeling somewhat lighter. 

“i-I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry.” Zoro mumbled.

“Why are you sorry?” 

Zoro was silent, gathering his thoughts together before answering. 

“Don’t you feel you wasted the last few years just because of me?” Zoro looked at you intently. You looked back harder, your mouth thinning at his question. 

‘Was he trying to make you feel that you wasted your time over him?’ You thought to yourself.

“Zoro, I want you to listen and listen well. If I had to go through all of it again, I would do it. I don’t regret anything I did if it meant I could be here now.” You grinned. 

Zoro's heart became erratic. 

‘There it was again, his heartbeat.’

Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum. 

‘Why?’

Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.

The longer you both held each other's gaze, the faster his heartbeat became.

Zoro concluded that his heart reacted because of you. 

Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.

The ache he felt to be close to you and protect you till his last breath. He felt the gentle rising and falling of your steady breath as you both sat so close to each other. 

Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum. 

How your eyes were so gentle and full of hope. 

Ba dum, ba dum, ba dum. 

How your skin was so soft whenever you’d held his hand. 

‘Is this what love feels like? Is this it?’

And it was.

At that moment, Roronoa Zoro had accepted that he was in love with you. Despite struggling to mentally understand his feelings, he decided that his heart had won the war.

————————————- ⚔️✨ ————————————

A/N: God I am a sap for romance, writing the last line made my heart go BA DUM BA DUM BA DUM 😭❤️

[curufiin]

Hello resident Curufin person of tumblr! Mind sharing some headcanon’s about Curufin’s relationship with Celebrimbor? What was Curufin like as a father?

Edit: this is curufinposting day 10 now because I said so

Hello :) i’m totally not procrastinating on an essay to answer this

I don’t have any super detailed headcanons about them, sorry about that, but here’s what i have:

I think Curufin was, generally speaking, a pretty decent father. There’s never any moments where he is deliberately and maliciously nasty to Celebrimbor, he’s actually a bit overprotective with him. He likes spending time with baby Celebrimbor and teaching him forge craft, and of course daily grandpa visits are absolutely mandatory. Fëanor had a really good relationship with him (“oh my god he looks just like you Curvo he’s so cute”)

That said, Curufin also isn’t a particularly great father. Fëanor’s insanely high expectations carried over to Curufin with his son, and compliments from Curufin are quite rare (but still more common than Fëanor). While he isn’t deliberately horrible to Celebrimbor, he’s still said some pretty horrible things that he immediately regretted after seeing Celebrimbor’s upset face.

Curufin also has a habit of drilling into Celebrimbor that he is better than all the otber kids and must carry himself a certain way so they know he’s their superior. Whether or not this worked, we will never know

He absolutely, vehemently insists that Celebrimbor’s name is spelled Tyelpërinquar. Tyelpinquar is also acceptable

Basically, Curufin’s parenting style is very “my way or the highway”. Part of it is because I have a hc that Curufin is autistic (not that he’d ever let you call him that. yay ableism) and when things aren’t happening exactly how he envisions it, he gets stressed the hell our and starts snapping at everyone around him. This includes extremely minor things like the order in which you pour molten metals. Celebrimbor still struggles with the idea that now that Curufin is dead, he can do whatever he wants however he wants.

Unfortunately Curufin wasn’t very present when Celebrimbor was a baby just because he couldn’t handle the piss and shit and vomit (he will make things worse by also throwing up). But don’t worry this only lasted a year

Part of Curufin’s whole Sindar Racism thing but he refuses to call Celebrimbor Celebrimbor, gets super pissed when people call him Celebrimbor, and go on a giant tangent about how it is disrespectful to expect them to abandon their old names just because some wannabe lord huddled in a forest demands it etc etc.

I think Curufin actually got closer to Celebrimbor post ship burning, and especially post Fëanor death. Celebrimbor, however, was growing increasingly uncomfortable around Curufin, because he could kinda tell Curufin was slowly losing his mind.

Which means when Celebrimbor disowned Curufin, my God Curufin was inconsolable. He was this really ugly mix of devastated/furious/does not give a single fuck and it took several weeks before he could even talk about his son without either crying, yelling at someone, or aggressively changing the topic. He also likes to say he was the one who disowned Celebrimbor to make himself feel better.

Curufin liked to bring Celebrimbor with him whenever he was invited to dine with the dwarves. He enjoys showing off his son.

Curufin: hey. See that guy? (gestures at Eöl) yeah fuck that guy. Celebrimbor: why do you hate him? Curufin: i have no idea but I hate him and you should too.

One of Curufin’s favorite activities that isn’t showing off his son is braiding his hair. Sometimes he’ll actually stress braid Celebrimbor’s hair to calm himself down.

TLDR: Curufin tried his best. His best just isn’t very good. I have a fic about it.

[lemonnsss]

Moral of the Story: Chapter 8

Warnings: Mild tangent based off of an actual conversation I had (I'm actually from D.C. so this was fun), one singular bad pun- it deserves its own warning, and probably strained warning.

Feedback is always appreciated

MotS Masterlist

Taglist: @vicmc624 , @mostlymarvelgirl , @yvonneeeee, @beetlejuicesupremacy , @moonlightreader649 , @whattheduckisupkyle , @chrisevans-realwife, @nekoannie-chan , @mrsbarnes32557038 , @imyourbratzdoll , @weallhaveadestiny

Word Count: 1.8k

“Apologies but until you had agreed and were here it was still considered confidential.”

“O-okay, um, where- or how should I start?”

The director stood across the bed from me, eyebrows furrowed, the room filled with silence apart from the constant, steady beeps of the machinery.

“How the hell should I know? You’re the one with the super-abilities.”

“Right, sorry, that was dumb. Do you know if any of his internal organs were damaged when he went under? Or have you had the chance to run any tests yet?”

“I’m sorry, what crash are we talking about?” Tony said, still standing in the doorway.

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance before responding, “When the Captain here decided to take a trip twenty thousand leagues under the sea he was in a, shall we say, pseudo-nazi aircraft with a fixed route on its way to the states. His options were to let the ship take its course and let millions die or take a nosedive, he took the latter, rather obviously. Speaking of,” the attention turned to me, “how did you know that?”

“Sir, I’m a licensed teacher from pre-k to high school- I’m not by any means immune to misinformation; although, I do have a bit more knowledge on the topic than most people- not to mention my…” my mind trailed off for a moment before coming back, “former colleague taught history, rather fitting as he lived through it, too.”

His one eye began to look me up and down, “Remind me, where did you work last? Aside from with the X-Men that is.”

There was an uncertainty in his voice that made the agents who went down the elevator with us glance at each other nervously. What I had seen twice in my less-than-a-day stint of knowing this man seemed uncommon or unsettling for those who had known him longer.

“I don’t believe I said. Besides, doesn’t your file on me say?” We were both fishing for information, a push and pull I’d grown adjusted to on the flight over.

He remained silent, motioning one of the residents to come over.

“S-so we ran s-some tests-,” he took a moment to breathe and calm himself down, he spoke with a light stutter, likely to have been more prevalent in his earlier years. It sounded like he had gotten speech therapy, and was likely better, nervous, but better, “a lot of the scans were, well are, useless. His blood, everything about him really, was frozen, barely mobile. So the extent of the internal injuries he potentially sustained upon impact is uncertain. I sent for some new prints of the scans we took last week, but they haven’t come in yet; they’ll probably arrive today but it’s pretty touch and go sometimes.” He finished talking with a meek smile, likely proud of how he handled the situation.

“You did the scans last week and they’re only coming in today?” I could feel the look of confusion that overtook my face, he chuckled lightly and rubbed his neck.

“Yeah, we don’t have the equipment to produce the scans here so we send them over to the hospital over in Takoma Park to print- they have the most up-to-date machinery, and they were the only ones willing to work with us privately- so it takes a bit of time.”

“Perks of D.C., eh? Either have the most outrageous tax or go out of district.”

“Exactly! Say, did you grow up ‘round here?”

“No, up in Salem. I used to teach. I planned enough ‘government trips’ to last a few lifetimes.”

I could’ve sworn I heard him mutter a few “cool” s under his breath before he spoke up again, “It was nice getting to talk with you, but I kinda have some other patients I gotta check up on.” he moved by Fury, a “sir” slipping out as he passed and a little wave to me as he left.

The four who accompanied me in the elevator looked at each other, all but Tony practically questioning if this was normal for me.

The director cleared his throat, calling my attention back over to him, "When can you start?"

"Oh! Any time. I was only wondering how badly he was hurt so I can give you my best estimation for how long it'll take me to finish this."

“Will this not be a one-time excursion?”

“...No? Not likely.”

I was done with conversing, done with this nonsense. Placing my hand on the captain’s chest the area where we touched began to glow with a golden hue- I’d always been told my eyes did the same. It was unlike healing Tony a year ago- I didn’t have to rush, it wasn’t life or death- I could take my time and triage.

His biggest issue was hypothermia, unsurprisingly. I felt the cold move through his body to mine. A deep chill settled in my bones.

I pulled away, “Do you know if there’s a heating pad somewhere? Or something like it?” I hadn’t looked at them, afraid of how they would react. A few seconds of silence passed before I turned to them- Tony looked confused, maybe he didn’t see what my powers looked like, and he probably had some blood loss going on at the time; Fury stood unwavering with the smallest tent in his brow, but then again who could read him; the male agent who’d gone with us was standing, mouth slightly agape; and the female agent was gone slipped out without a sound- weird.

She looked like she’d be the ‘hard-ass’ type despite her being, what, 5’3”-5’4”. She was maybe Tony’s age, though it was difficult to tell, her seemingly ageless golden skin a potential factor, Tony’s substance abuse didn’t exactly help his cause though.

She walked back in, a wired heating pad in hand, she lifted it in the air inquisitively before tossing it to me.

“Thank you, Agent-”

“It’s no problem.” She cut me off gruffly.

I set the heating pad up in a chair and sat down, placing my hand back on the captain, and, over a few hours, I healed him as much as I could before returning to the hotel for the night. A comfortable cycle that lasted for a few months.

I walked into S.H.I.E.L.D.’s office for what would likely be the last time, at least soon.

I walked up to the agents who had escorted me on my first day- Agents May and Coulson I’d learned.

“Ready for your last day?” Coulson asked a melancholic tone laced his voice.

“Are you excited to be done with babysitting me?” I teased.

I’d gotten more comfortable around Coulson, though it wasn’t exactly difficult with his rather ‘easy-going’ nature, and comfortable enough around Agent May to talk to her. We walked along the rather familiar path to Captain Rogers’ room. I made quick work of healing what remained of his injuries.

He still wasn’t awake. For whatever reason I thought Cap would wake up when I had finished healing him.

Coulson and I talked for a while before heading to the entrance once I’d gotten word back from Tony that his chauffeur was there to pick me up.

“I’m gonna miss you, kid.” he whispered, pulling me into a side hug.

“I’ll miss you too, Phil.” I replied, “ It was nice getting to know you, Agent-”

“May, call me May.” She cut me off, “And, unless you quit within the next year we’ll probably see you soon. Stark has an odd habit of getting in trouble with almost anyone and everyone.” 

“I’ll miss you too.”

A car horn was blaring outside for a minute and I knew it was Tony, “Guess that’s my cue, goodbye.” I sent them a soft smile and a wave before I got in the car.

A few months passed by with ease with the Stark Expo taking up more time and paperwork than I could’ve imagined. I walked in one day to see Coulson in Tony’s office.

“Phil? Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you! What’s got you across the country?”

“It’s good to see you too, kid. I’m here because S.H.I.E.L.D. is requesting Mr. Stark’s presence.” He spoke rather cooly about Tony, a stark contrast to his normal.

“TONY! Did you break the Geneva Convention?!” Tony looked at me speechless, feigning hurt I would even think of it, Coulson stood beside me struggling and barely holding back a chuckle.

“No, unfortunately not. ‘We’ need to borrow him, more specifically the ‘Iron Man’ suit. As I was saying before, we have a helicarrier waiting for your arrival.”

“Okay, Tony. Please, stop being a bitch and get your shit. You’re lucky they step in enough to keep you out of prison for some likely war criminal activity. Suck it up and grab your bags.” I walked to Tony’s desk and put down his coffee before walking into my office and grabbing the duffel I had stuffed in the corner of the room.

I walked back out, “Where’d you say the plane was?”

Coulson showed me to the plane where we waited for about twenty minutes before Tony walked over with his bags. We piled in and got up to the helicarrier, a giant airbase I was told was legal.

May was waiting for us on deck and showed me to my room before leaving me to unpack.

I had to have been walking through those damn near identical hallways for half an hour before giving up.

After yelling into my hands I spoke, to no one but myself, “How do people even get around these things? It’s a whole death trap, I swear.”

“Exactly!” A voice called out from behind me. I turned around to find a familiar face, Captain America, “I guess you don’t work here either?”

“Oh, um, no. You couldn’t pay me to stay on this thing.”

He laughed revealing a warm smile that fit his beautiful, angel-like face perfectly.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Kyrie Eirsson- I’m Mr. Stark’s personal assistant.”

I saw his eyes widen in recognition at the second half, “Oh! You’re the person I’m supposed to find.”

“What? Oh, fuck, that’s embarrassing.” I held my face in my hands, my face flushing furiously, I moved my fingers to see the Captain’s face. He stood across from me, face turned away, fist in front of his mouth in a failing attempt to hide his wide grin.

“In any case, Stark’s having a fit without you on the bridge. Shall we?” He held out his arm for me to take.

“I disappear for what, forty-fifty minutes and he goes nuts without me, shocker.” I took his arm gleefully, laughing at how ridiculous the situation was.

[ynscrazylife]

if you still do avengers reqs, what would the avengers and y/n talk about in the avengers resident groupchat? y/n!stark x peter 🙏🙏

The Avengers Groupchat Would Include . . . 

Let’s start off with who’s in this groupchat: you (obviously), Peter, Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Steve, Clint, Wanda, Sam, Thor, Scott, Vision & Carol (Rocket was in the chat but he got kicked out, Ayo’s in there but she doesn’t chat much, Nebula would be there but she doesn’t get how to use a phone, Rhodey has better things to do than be in there)

Let’s be honest, Carol did not see the sense in her being there because there’s not gonna be WiFi throughout the galaxy.

“LTE, Carol!” — You, probably

Thor also didn’t really get it because there’s not WiFi on Asgard, but he’s too kind to say no

Naming the groupchat was hell. Every second, someone would change it (usually either you, Peter, or Sam) until Tony put his foot down and programmed FRIDAY to make it so no one could change it from “Avengers”

Natasha’s usually the one who sends reminders about training

Steve will send reminders about meetings 

Lots of pictures of each other are sent, mostly when they don’t know photos are being taken of them

The conversations range from someone asking what people want from the grocery store (Scott goes on grocery runs) to fierce debates over who’s the better fighter (It’s Nat, no one can beat her in sparring)

Tony will ask you and Peter if your homework is done (which you both annoyed, then Natasha yells at you)

It’s best to silence the notifications because they’re too, too much

Regular FaceTimes are a thing even though you’re usually all in the same tower

“Thor, your video cuts out when you go over Heimdall’s bridge.”

Wanda and Vision usually ask if they can double date with anyone (ends up being Scott and Hope or you and Peter)

Peter will send cute pictures of you that the Avengers ADORE. He’s tickling you? He’s recording a video. You fell asleep? He’s taking a picture.

“Peter, you’re not tickling her right. You have to get her knees.” — Tony

“DAD, STOP!”

Clint’s kids love to take his phone to chat with the Avengers

And they LOVE chatting with them

“Auntie Nat, when are you visiting!” “Soon!!”

Sam and Peter both send lots of memes

“I don’t get it.” — Steve

Bruce doesn’t talk much but you know who’s a great texter? THE HULK

Hulk is the king of keyboard smashes

“RERRRHDHDHSJSJS”

“Someone get Nat to do the lullaby.”

Hulk has smashed Bruce’s phone on multiple occasions tho

“Should I invent armor for Bruce’s phone?” — Tony

Yelena will steal Nat’s phone to troll the chat

Clint sends updates on his farm

Pepper will confiscate Tony’s phone when he needs to work so she’ll end up chatting

Everyone loves chatting to Pepper

Tony managed to get wifi on Carol’s ship so she’ll send updates from space

Thor tries to text, it doesn’t go great

When badgered by Natasha, Ayo will text

Nebula has occasionally hopped onto the group chat when Peter Q helps her

The group chat was SO ACTIVE when you and Peter went to prom

They were spamming the entire time, asking for pictures and updates and telling ya’ll not to drink

If anyone’s sitting out of a mission (usually you and Peter), they’ll text in the group chat to annoy those who are on the mission

“WE ARE DEEP UNDERCOVER SHUT THE FUCK UP” - Natasha

Getting Nat to swear in the group chat isn’t rare but it is dangerous

ALSO TEXTING STYLES

Vision, Ayo, and Steve text with perfect grammar, short and to the point (Steve has a tendency to go on tangents, though).

Tony’s style switches constantly depending on his mood

Natasha, Sam, Wanda, you, and Peter text with abbreviations and lowercase sometimes

Carol usually sends photos, not many texts. She’ll occasionally send an lol or lmao.

Scott is always cheerful. He uses lots of smiley faces.

Tony will put an ironic amount of obnoxious emojis.

Clint’s tired and his texting reflects that. As short as possible usually.

There’s always something chaotic going on

But there’s also some of the funniest moments

Typos? SAM WILL HARP ON YOU

So will Natasha

The Avengers are a family and they love each other so much, it’s definitely represented in the groupchat

[olderthannetfic]

I kinda understand “minors don’t interact” and similar things, but one thing I always laugh at is “don’t tag as [thing].” You know — the whole don’t tag posts with the word queer in them as q slur, don’t tag not-inherently-shippy art as ship, don’t tag character posts as kin, etc. First of all, what would you do if someone DOES tag it like that? Call the cops? Second of all, people are gonna tag things however they want, you’re gonna have to deal with that on a website like tumblr.

There’s a similar phenomenon on Twitter where people say “don’t quote retweet”/“don’t private quote retweet” (which is especially funny cuz everyone is gonna see that and go on their private accounts and quote retweet with nonsense to piss you off, lmao)

Like if you’re really SO FUCKING SCARED of your gay post being tagged as #q slur, your Death Note edit being tagged as #Lawlight, your fanart being tagged as #kin, you probably shouldn’t be on the internet. Do you have the right to not view queer as a slur, the right to not ship whatever, the right to not like fictionkin? Of course! But people also have the right to disagree with you and tag your post however the fuck they want. One time I saw someone tag one of my cosplays as [character] faceclaim, and I was a little bit weirded out, but overall it was harmless. I never once considered adding a banner saying not to tag my likeness as a faceclaim, because if I really want to prevent anyone from doing that, the solution will be for me to not show my face online.

Small tangent: When I was younger I used to have a private sideblog that was basically just a venting diary. No one had the password, and, because it was private, my URL wouldn’t show up in the notes if I reblogged something to that blog. Basically, no one knew the blog existed. And I remember sometimes I would see a cool post on my dash, or in tags, and it would be tagged as #dont reblog (this was before tumblr had the option to limit reblogs obviously). And if the post was cool (or edgy, because like I said… vent blog) and I was sad that I “couldn’t” reblog it, I’d reblog it to the side blog, where OP would never know 😭 Rebellious as hell wasn’t I?

That being said — and this might contradict everything I just wrote — I do think people that brag about not reading/not following DNIs are also a bit obnoxious. Not people who just make statements that they don’t read them, but people who make it known how much they hate their existence. It just seems kinda edgelord-y? Idk. Obviously it’s fine to not read them or like them but making it a huge statement is just like…ok? Congratulations? Should we throw you a party? Should we invite Elon Musk?

I have followers—and follow people—who have “Antis DNI” in their bio. I also have followers and follow people who have “Proshippers DNI” in their bio. No one will ever know what side I’m on 😜😜😜😜

--

[ari-but-unhinged]

Art for Toritsuka/Hairo fic where I explored what was meant to be a crack ship and is now one of my favourite (??) ships in Saiki k- PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

(A long rant ensues so, if you don’t want that then that’s all good and you don’t have to click, but if you’re interested, then welcome to my rant about a rare pair i love!)

Of course, I started out by simply laughing at the “I hate men” line Toritsuka said about Hairo and thinking writing a crack taken seriously fic would be funny and it would be a nice break before I started this other fic I have planned that is going to be an even bigger endeavour with Saiki k x Danganronpa. What I didn’t see happening was for this Torihai fic to completely take over my brain space and end up with a fic just shy of 20,000 words.

This may not seem like a lot, but I usually only write fics in 1,000-2,000s so this is a lot for me, especially since I’m a slow writer/editor so it takes me a while.

Part of the reason I love these two together is because of the inherent dynamic of Hairo’s inspirational preachiness and how it doesn’t work on Toritsuka, and how it might be refreshing for Hairo to have someone who challenges him (and not in the fake way Teruhashi does, with Toritsuka being very upfront and honest about it). Toritsuka also, because he’s so upfront about his feelings, helps Hairo to express certain emotions like annoyance/sadness that he wouldn’t normally express outwardly. Something else too is that Toritsuka tends to be very physically affectionate, and I don’t know that Hairo is used to that (I haven’t seen any examples of him being physically affectionate in any other way than a bro way) so that could be refreshing as well. Also, also, Toritsuka is Hairo’s gym buddy who was reluctantly dragged along that day Saiki was trying to avoid everyone and no one can change my mind lol (this, in Hairo’s mind, forms a bond between them that can never be broken and he will never stop reminding Toritsuka of this when they hang out).

I just think their dynamic can be playful/fun because they’re both real with each other if that makes sense?

On Toritsuka’s side of things, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and the friends he does have he either doesn’t have any chemistry with or hate him (Saiki lol), so I think it’d be nice for him to have someone who is extremely caring/attentive to his friends and clearly cares deeply about them and shows it often. Because of this, Hairo shows interest in Toritsuka’s life, and for someone who probably hasn’t had many friends, that would mean a lot. Also the fact that Hairo cares so much for Toritsuka sets an example as to how to be a good friend/human would behave and could help him grow as a person (which are always the best friendships/relationships when they grow together rather than staying stagnant and dragging each other down). Being more caring of others and allow him to develop his interpersonal relationships with more than just ghosts, instead with real humans.

Also, I’ve taken to calling them the “errand boys” because it’s a great prompt to force two people who are polar opposites and would never interact to hang out/do an activity together, so I thought it fit them perfectly.

In the fic I changed a few things from canon (sexualities obviously- Tori is bi/queer and Hairo is gay. Although quick side-tangent- I’ve written Tori/Kaidou, Tori/Akechi, and now Tori/Hairo and all three of them either are Asexual or are often headcanonned as ace by the community/me and I just find it very funny that the horniest character is continuously shipped with them. I only realized I did this after I first started writing the fic.)

- Hairo explicitly has psychic powers (it’s something they can bond over and it’s something that plays off of Hairo’s emotions. Cue a lot of blushing not only because of embarrassment but also actual literal heat rushing to his face.)

- Hairo was raised by a single parent (His family is never mentioned so I just made one up)

- Personal headcanon, but I feel like Toritsuka might occasionally pretend to not see spirits in order to avoid getting approached.

- Toritsuka’s backstory has been slightly altered and has a lot more angst to an already pretty sad backstory (it’s played for laughs, but imagine how that would’ve felt for him :( he realized he lost two people he loved in a matter of minutes. Also, he’s a child when this happens so that’s even sadder. I honestly wonder if they died somewhere in the house or he was just there and his guardians didn’t know, like??? How???)

If this made you interested in reading the fic which this is all about, I’ll link it at the end, but if you were just here for the rant, that’s cool too! I’m obsessed with these two because they’re adorable and I must spread the gospel of Torihai.

Link to original fic-

[ceilingfan5]

Uhhh throw the ipre in an underwater city. I don't think you've listened to ethersea but all you need to know is damn those guys are in the ocean huh

“Get this!” Barry says, shaking the notes in his hand for enthusiastic emphasis. “With the soil samples we took-”

“And the magic readings we’ve gotten-” Lup interrupts, bouncing on her toes. 

“This world- this- version of the world- this- plane? Have we settled on nomenclature there? I-”

“It’s- you won’t believe this,” Lup interrupts again, taking Barry’s notes out of his hand. Davenport is very close to telling them to get on with it. His mustache is twitching with trying to be polite. Taako grins. “It’s dramatically older than ours. If they’re following a similar calendar pattern to the one back home, it would be- practically the year 3,000.” 

“Not much has changed, huh?” Taako says, peering down at the water. The Starblaster hums happily as he and Lucretia continue fabricating more wetsuits for the next excursion, and Magnus dangles his feet out the open door. 

“That’s the thing,” Barry says. “It looks like they didn’t live underwater even two hundred years ago, this is a recent development! And considering how much we’ve seen, they’ve adapted just fine! Isn’t that incredible?”

“Yeah,” Merle says, low and appreciative. “I could get used to a place like this. Dunno about the water pressure, but the sun, the sand, the ocean waves…” 

“The pressure is no joke,” Davenport agrees, ignoring the wistfulness coming off Merle like stink lines off gas station sushi. “I don’t know about taking the ship down there. We’ve determined it should still be completely sealed, but the pressure could crush her like a tin can between titanium ass cheeks, and we would be absolutely, terminally fucked.” 

“What a visual,” Taako murmurs, at the same time as Lup says “So true, Cap.” 

“Can you be terminally fucked?” Magnus opens his mouth, and says, with the breath that gives him life. 

“Absolutely,” Lucretia says, perking up. “In fact, there are a lot of ways-”

“Pin that tangent for later,” Capn’port says, beleaguered. 

“Like a butterfly, gone too soon, and for what?” Lup says, grinning devilishly. “I want to hear the infodump.”

“We will, I promise, if Lucretia will oblige,” Dav sighs. She looks sheepish, but amenable. “We just need to make proper contact before they come to us. We’ve already seen how bad it can go.” 

That sobers the crew a little. But they’re stupid, so it doesn’t last. 

“Is there a way you can’t die while fucking?” Magnus asks. Davenport groans. Lucretia considers this deeply. 

“I’m not sure,” she lands on. “Maybe some research-”

Everybody has to consider it now. 

“Poison? No…”

“Radiation…unlikely, but not impossible…”

“Motorcycle accident?” 

The IPRE think about this. 

“Listen,” Davenport says. They all look at him, sure he’s going to get them back on track, but- “I’m sure it could theoretically happen, and it certainly would end in death-”

Everyone has to laugh at that particular visual. 

“Barry, Lup, did you have more to report?” Dav pushes on. Can’t hold back the smile, though.

“Actually-” Barry pushes up his glasses. “You’re not going to believe this-” 

[deviltownresident]

My opinions on Rimmer’s commentary about Lister’s sandwich in the Red Dwarf episode ‘Thanks For The Memory’.

this will be an essay ramble i started writing a year ago, blacked out after five minutes, by which point i had... something... and then forgot about it and left it to sit in my documents. now it returns. this gets steadily more unhinged and is catered to an extremely niche audience. proceed with caution.

In the second series of the sci-fi sitcom titled ‘Red Dwarf’, there is an episode where the characters party on a nearby moon, getting drunk. Those shown include: David Lister, Arnold Judas Rimmer, the entity known as The Cat, a few scutters, and the ship’s computer Holly. They are celebrating Rimmer’s deathday, for some reason unexplained but that the viewer can safely presume is simply due to how anally-retentive Rimmer is. In this scene, they are all acting a little out-of-character. Music is played loudly from the scutters seated at the keyboard, Holly is bopping his head and saying “we’re grooving tonight” while Lister has been permitted to play his guitar for once. This indicates the drunken state of the characters. Furthermore, it is worthy to note the state of Rimmer. He is dancing, and not morris-dancing either, this is far worse, and his movements are far more swayed and uncontrolled than a sober person’s would be, despite him saying “I’m not in the least bit drunk”. Although this factor is not relevant to the subject of this essay, it should be highlighted that Rimmer is behaving in a way that the viewer has never seen him act before, he being as strait-laced as he is.

When the crew of Red Dwarf have returned to the ship, and Rimmer and Lister are sitting in their shared bunkroom, Lister declares that he wants a “triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney”. They order Holly to make one, and Rimmer takes a bite, despite his initial doubts. Clearly, Lister is not quite as drunk as Rimmer is, judging by how it is typical of him to eat disgusting and spicy food. He is also used to being drunk and the aftermath of drunken nights out, when he logically advises Rimmer not to tell him about his sex life, for he will regret it when the morning comes. Rimmer’s facial expression fluctuate between confused, disgusted, and marvel at the taste of the sandwich. He also declares “I feel like I’m having a baby”. This suggests the sick and pained feeling that the sandwich has doubtlessly caused, as well as hinting that it could be a life-changing experience for him despite this. However, whichever way one chooses to interpret those words of Rimmer’s depends on one’s opinions of pregnancy, and frankly, I don’t want to go off on that particular tangent today.

Although Rimmer’s feelings on the sandwich appear conflicted, when Lister asks him “it’s good, isn’t it?” he replies that “it’s incredible” and asks where Lister got the recipe from. Perhaps Rimmer finds the sandwich incredible because he’s never tasted anything quite like it before, which I believe can also be said about his relationship with Lister. Growing up on Io, Arnold Rimmer was surrounded by elitists, his father an upper class citizen who had a fixation on getting Rimmer and his three brothers into the Space Corps. Lister, on the other hand, was found under a pool table in one of Liverpool’s pubs, and his social status didn’t exactly get better than that as time went on. These two polar opposites, who have never been friends with anyone so completely different as they are from each other, may seem to clash on surface level, but actually get along excellently underneath that, just like the ingredients in Lister’s sandwich. Additionally, if Rimmer and Lister can be seen working well together like the sandwich filling, what is the bread in their relationship, the bread that Lister claims is liable to dissolve if the sandwich is not consumed quickly enough? And hereby I present to you my answer to this: time. The factor that holds Rimmer and Lister’s friendship together is time.

Let me go off on this tangent I just made up. Or click off. Also say goodbye to the ‘smart kid’ tone of this essay, it’s time for the brainrot.

It’s time, I don’t know what else to tell you. When the crew are wiped out, it takes three million years before Rimmer and Lister are reunited. This introduces the recurrent theme of time in the show, that appears in episodes such as Backwards, Timeslides, and a whole lot more. But because it doesn’t feel like time has passed for Rimmer and Lister, they still act like the 20something year old idiots that they are. They still insult each other like they used to when everyone was alive, because time never really changes that aspect of their relationship. Even in the later series, when it’s twenty years since the show was first launched, these dumbasses still throw the same old insults at each other, because time will never change that for them. It’s fucking. Beautiful. You know? I love them so much. However, time does change their relationship a little bit in other ways. They might still insult each other at every given opportunity, but it’s clear that as the seasons pass, it’s not really malicious anymore. They even start calling each other ‘Listy’ and ‘Rimsy’, which I think is even cuter than them using first names like normal people. Because, despite my attempts in writing Work Thing, these bitches will never be normal. Anyway, my point is that time keeps them together, which sort of sucks because otherwise the song Astronomy by Conan Gray would really fit them. In fact, time even brings them together, given that one dream that Lister has. I don’t even need to say it, do I? You’re already screaming about them with me right now, and if you’re not, then what the smeg else are you doing?

Anyways. Back to the sandwich.

Rimmer says that he could never invent a sandwich like the one he is holding in his hand at that moment. Wait, hold the fuck up. Rimmer doesn’t eat, he’s a hologram. The only time we see Rimmer eat anything is when he asks Holly for something to eat, but we never actually see him hold the food or beverage he asks for, we just watch him feel the effects of consuming it. Rimmer, being a soft-light hologram at this point, can’t touch anything other than himself, so how can he touch the sandwich? Since I can’t be bothered to think of a reason for this, I will simply quote a Nirvana song and say: oh well, whatever, never mind. If you have ever received that exact message from me, probably on WhatsApp, looking at Dee and Emerick here, I was not dismissing you except I was but I was quoting a cool song while doing it so I could justify myself while being too sleepy to think of an actual answer.

Let’s try that again, shall we? Rimmer says that he could never invent a sandwich like… that one. This shows his true admiration for Lister’s creativity. I say ‘creativity’ loosely here, given that although Lister went to art college for an incredibly brief period of time, he still didn’t manage to pass his Technical Drawing GCSE, and I’m not even going to delve into his guitar playing abilities. Anyway, you gotta admit that, drunk or not, it is nice to see Rimmer be actually friendly to Lister about the sandwich, although it confuses the audience at first, namely because who in the fuck would compliment a sandwich like that one? Moving swiftly on, Rimmer compares the sandwich to Lister, for some reason known only to God. That’s me, and I, as God, declare that Rimmer is, in fact, a drunken gay idiot at this point who is too drunk and gay to do anything except compare his totally platonic roommate to a sandwich. Seriously though, there is an actual reason, that is quite eloquent if I’m allowing myself to not torture Rimmer today. You see kids, Rimmer says that all the sandwich’s ingredients are wrong, just like Lister’s personality traits are wrong. He says that Lister is “slobby” and that he has “no discipline” and is the “only man ever to get his money back from the Odor-Eater people”. Now, I could go full-out English Lit student here and comment on Rimmer’s use of tricolon and how it emphasises all the negative traits he believes Lister has and that by using this technique which is often used in persuasive writing he is trying to get Lister to see his point and hiding his admiration for Lister through this, but I would much rather discuss what the fuck was this guy thinking. One does not simply compare one’s roommate to a sandwich. Indeed, in my notes page of ‘reasons why I ship Rimster’, there is written something along the lines of ‘only a gay person would compare their roommate to a sandwich’ Admittedly, I wanted to write this essay in order to make a better and more elaborate point than that, but. Perhaps, from a shallow yet accurate point of view, that is all that needs to be said.

But, if we ignore the aforementioned approach, Rimmer also says that people like Lister. Now, who is people? Certainly, Lister had more love affairs than Rimmer did, namely Kristine Kochanski, and he also had more friends such as Petersen and Chen, but people also includes Rimmer. Obviously, being the repressed bastard that he is, Rimmer doesn’t want to go around saying “you know, I like you despite your flaws” to Lister, so he puts himself in third person and simply says “people”. Referring to himself like this, assuming that he is referring to those around him and Lister at this present moment in time, and also assuming that “people” counts only for humans, there is nobody else aboard ship in this moment that Rimmer could be referring to other than himself. Even if it didn’t count for humans alone, it would still have the same effect. The Cat gets along better with Lister than Rimmer but wouldn’t go so far as to express liking for him, and Holly is, frankly, too senile to count. Besides, nobody really knows who Holly likes and dislikes, since it is his job to keep the ship to a certain degree of functioning and he can’t do that if he openly holds biases.

Um so I don’t actually remember where I was going with this because im something right now but that sandwich sounds yummily gross. Like I hate all the ingredients, especially when put together, but I would fucking swallow it whole in five seconds if you gave me half the chance. Actually I want to make one right now oh shit. Anyway I guess it does really reflect Lister’s personality because it’s so goddamn weird but also scrumptious you know? Maybe im simping for him, but hopefully not as much as rimmer. Thing is though it’s quite impressive how I can see Rimmer’s point while being completely sober. Im not completely mentally ok though so maybe that shared trait of me and Rimmer acts more than the alcohol does in that scene. I could go on an entire ramble on everyone’s mental health right now but I really don’t want to. Anyway the sandwich. I wonder what bread they use. Probably white. Definitely white. I wonder which supermarket though. Tescos bread is fucking awful. They better be going to a nice bakery for it. To be honest there aren’t all that many artisan boulangeries in deep space, so I doubt it. Still, it’s a nice thought. My disgusting king only deserves the best, you know.