#My bug boys from the bog

[breach-of-conduct]

Oh hey whats this? Bug-dy horror.

[heartnosekid]

my personal favorite stimboards masterlist!

so, as it turns out... i've made a lot of stimboards since 2021 when i made my first favorite stimboards stimboard. i wanted to make another stimboard of the boards, but i quickly found out i had way too many favorites to fit in a stimboard that my computer or phone could handle lol.

so, instead of the stimboard, here is a bunch of links to my favorite stimboards with some descriptors. as far as name stimboards go, i love them all too much so i couldn't decide on a concise list of favorites lol enjoy! comment your favorites if you want to!

concept / music based:

clowncore with bright primary colors | butterflies, spiders, & moths in purple & blue | nature, flowers, & bugs in pink & yellow | aroace sunset flag with nature | lunar rainbow | pansexual with nature | black & neon glowcore | hot pink color board

demeter & young persephone | black arches moth | carnivalcore, kidcore, & kitties | smile - the beach boys album art | pink, elegant, & floral | death's head hawkmoth | virginian tiger moth

night skies, the moon, biblically accurate angels, books, & moths | yule pagan holiday board | rain by sleep token | "i know love is real because i exist and i am full of it" | sidewalk chalk kitty

character / franchise based:

marie (splatoon) based on only her hair colors | dark magic hat creampuff cookie (cookie run: ovenbreak) | seer (apex legends) | floral sacrifice soul weaver (identity v) | super pusheenicorn (pusheen) | haku (spirited away) | skitty (pokemon) | wish bear & love-a-lot bear (care bears) | baby hugs & tugs (care bears)

custom camper (animal crossing: pocket camp) | banette (pokemon) | royal livery bloodhound (apex legends) | caregiver zacharie & small batter (off game) | a gaze eternal revenant (apex legends) | raiden (metal gear rising: revengeance) | fleur fairies (jellycat)

bog witch ad (goatlings) | wicked harvest bloodhound (apex legends) | neon skeleton squishmallows | mirage (apex legends) | k_k (deltarune) | renji & uta with cafe elements & greyscale (tokyo ghoul) | ione (animal crossing) | zucker (animal crossing) | oyster cookie (cookie run: kingdom)

lime cookie (cookie run: ovenbreak) | blue eyes white dragon (yu-gi-oh) | alice in wonderland 1951 film | lobo (puss in boots: the last wish) | miffy kidcore positivity (miffy & friends) | trans calico critters (sylvanian families) | king rauru (the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom) | catalyst (apex legends)

g1 pony bride (my little pony) | white pearl cookie (cookie run: kingdom) | soft pastel blue dratini (pokemon) | dusk from the hex girls (scooby doo) | frilled jellyfish cookie (cookie run: kingdom) | uboa (yume nikki) | sayaka miki (puella magi madoka magica) | fog canyon (hollow knight)

[002yb]

Blanket apology on the lateness to all of these replies.  ┬┴┬┴┤･ω･)ﾉ

Head bonks when they’re brushing their teeth over one sink

A persisting argument of Dick wanting to save any stray bugs that make their way into their apartment while Jason wants to eradicate them (because Dick thinks they’re neat, but Jason associates them to an unkept home)

They don’t own a mop, so they make a conga line where Jason shuffles through with a wet towel and Dick shuffles through with a dry towel behind him

Dick coming home with groceries, only for the both of them to go back out again because he forgot the top thing on the list; it happens consistently and Jason has an inkling Dick does it on purpose (he does)

Whipping each other with towels and vaulting over furniture to escape impending doom

Tucked away in this ask, only I’m not sure what else to add hahaha.

Just Jason consciously falling in love with Dick over a series of mundane moments

So he associates all these little things with Dick in that way young lovers do

A certain route they patrolled, the flickering of a neon sign, the wind pulling through their hair as they sat up high on a skyscraper.  The pounding of his heartbeat as they chased each other, the sweltering heat of a humid day or the smell of a coffee – warm where Dick pressed it to Jason’s cheek and warm throughout his body when Jason sipped at it and let it chase away all the fatigue.  Dawn on the horizon with Dick at Jason’s window - lingering just a moment longer.

Jason being very aware of how smitten he is and doing nothing about it.  Just basking in the present moments as they come and being content in their afterglow.

This is perfection.  No notes.  Superb.

Uaaaaaahhhhhhhh an art like this must exist, right?  It’s too good not to!!  Damian being ornery with Dick in this sort of capacity (with them both fawning over Jason) is probably my most favorite dc fanon thing hahaha.  Thank you for the visual of this, anon!

Hahaha, how Dick keeps his degeneracy under wraps is beyond Jason, truly.  Truth be told though, it stops being discreet because Jason’s reactions to all of Dick’s dirty talk is so obvious.  That’s okay though because Dick doesn’t mind.  Even if he goes down, Jason goes with him; they’re partners in life and in their perverse ways.  An accusation Jason adamantly refuses because they are not the same; no way!

To which Dick will roll his eyes but it’s whatever.  Denial is the first step to acceptance.  That besides, it’s not like Jason isn’t the one pulling Dick aside or beckoning him someplace private after Dick drops those suggestions. ;)

Hahaha, the perpetually single ones for sure.  But I think those who are in committed relationships would be overwhelmingly fond and nostalgic.  Seeing dickjay’s young love, so new and sweet and exciting, would remind them of back when they were first falling in love.  And it’d maybe spark some rekindled romance in their own relationships as they reminisce.

Meanwhile dickjay admiring those who have been in relationships longer because they’re comfortable and settled and really?  They can’t wait to be there, but for now Dick and Jason just enjoy each other day by day. //u///

There’s a story sitting in my drafts that covers this.  It’s been done for months but tbh having to tag on ao3 is such a daunting thing.  I’ll try to get this posted for you soon, anon.

This exchange is the closest to eldritch!Dick as I can imagine.

Will-o-Wisp!Dick lives in my head rent free and it’s the closest I think I can get to something eldritch (because I’m dumb I don’t actually get what it’s supposed to be LOL).  Or something akin to a will-o-wisp.  With Dick being able to twist his voice and image to lure people into the bog that is Gotham’s bowels.  He usually makes himself known as a robin chirping in the night; a warning song.

Other times he’ll appear as a child, dashing through shadows with laughter echoing through alleys.  A beautiful boy that lures criminals away from the main streets and any lingering lights, or guides innocents someplace safer.

And then there’s Dick Grayson, grown and bewitching with the mirthful light in his eyes and a wicked smile; bared teeth and a jaw that might be too sharp.

Dick becoming an urban legend in his own right.  Where he’s ‘passive,’ only not really.  He guides people through Gotham and depending on the situation, Dick will bring them home.  Or he’ll walk them off a building’s ledge, into oncoming traffic, or for those most wicked – infront of the muzzle of Red Hood’s gun.

This post.

Ahahahaha, thank you so much!  Jason getting all flustered after being exposed (by himself, no less) is so charming.  For as much as I love maiden!Jason, he’s probably a bit of a freak ngl.  Like Jason probably kink shames himself after bringing up something he’d like to try with Dick and Dick sputters because the depravity is !!!

Just Jason basing the validity of some of his kinks on Dick’s reaction to them because Dick is the most depraved man he knows.

Of course even when Jason catches Dick off guard (surprisingly often), Dick gets on board real quick.

But yeah, without fail I think it’s always Jason that exposes his own kinks.  And he’s not casual about it at all once he realizes and that exposes himself further and it’s the most vicious of cycles, hahaha.

In reply to this ask.

Tbh, no change LOL.  Dick’s domesticity kink and how he reacts to Jason being domestic transcends time and circumstance.  So, basically:  Simp King!Dick Grayson.  Who is genuinely turned on by stupid, mundane domestic things but who also plays up his reactions because it makes Jason laugh and fluster and Dick loves to see that.

The visual of Dick being taken out at the knees or falling into the wall for support or just keeling over a bit while biting his sleeve because Jason is cooking/cleaning/doing laundry is just so silly hahaha.  Or even Dick just being all sparkly and flowery because yeah, check out his boyfriend (only don’t, thanks) being so sweet and caring and wonderful.  //U////

But also the heated moments because of course.  Where Dick:

Hooks his chin over Jason’s shoulder as Jason cooks something over the stove.  Hands on Jason’s hips and peppering kisses just below Jason’s ear (and in abo setting getting a little high off of Jason’s scent because nothing is more tantalizing than that).  And Jason tries to turn around so that they can fool around a bit, but Dick is all, ‘nope, keep cooking //W////’ and proceeds to just shower Jason in some heavy petting

Oh.  Basically the above, but Jason is washing dishes.  And Dick manages to make Jason come with only the graze of Dick’s teeth at his nape and some dirty promises

Dick pushing Jason back onto a pile of unfolded laundry and having his way with him right there.  ANd Jason loves it in the moment, caught between still hot clothes and Dick burning above him.  Up until they get off and Jason realizes he has to redo laundry.  Again.

It’s cool though.  Dick joins him and they fuck again with Jason bent over the wash, detergent spilling everwhere.

Omg they’re fooling around as the washer is going only to have it flood with suds because they accidentally spilled in too much detergent ahhhahaha

Honestly torn between Damian wholeheartedly believing possessiveness = protectiveness, or whether he's aware of the difference but was impacted by losing Jason (when Jason left the League) and that loss fucked him up in a way that makes him believe that to keep someone close, you've got to own them. 🤔

Either way, Damian rates Dick low because there's always room for improvement.  There's potential, surely, but generally Dick is too nice.

As for something that constitutes Dick being bumped up to a 10?  Ahahaha, Vampire King!Dick turning Jason and making him his vampire queen and doing so in a way where Jason can only feed on Dick to survive.  And when Jason tries a hunger strike, Dick retaliates by starving Damian somehow.  It's an inconceivable thought if only because Dick is so soft on him, but it would prove very telling.

Hello, hello~ I’m getting by alright.  Sorry that I’ve not been posting much though!  And that it took so long to reply to this ask. ;3;

But yeah, Talia and Jason.  Because I’m a sucker for Jason whump forever and always, I’m partial to a relationship where Talia only cares for Jason because of his relationship with Bruce.  So there’s no love or genuine affection there for Jason as an individual, just as a convenient means of achieving a faroff goal.  Where Jason is, once again, collateral damage.

That’s a disservice to Talia though so like, reserved mother figure or just a lady who is fond of the nanny/bodyguard she found for her son is cool, too!

Thank you for reading so many of my posts!  It makes me happy that you enjoyed enough to read more. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Jason winning over the hearts of all the shop employees because despite his intimidating stature, Jason is a timid maiden as he wanders the shop.  His gaze keeps wandering to the delicate lingerie and corsets, but Jason’s convinced it’d be dumb on him because he’s not exactly dainty

Queue encouraging salespeople and clientele and Jason being so flushed that everyone falls in love with him

Also everyone being like, hot damn, because that bust to waist ratio?  Sinful.  Who’s the lucky guy that landed him?

It’s the atmosphere of the place that gets Jason sharing a picture of Dick and oh boy does Jason preen as everyone admires his boyfriend.

Just Jason having a good time despite the initial (and persisting because he’s a maiden) embarrassment lol.

And then he gets home and omgggggg Dick

Dick sneaks in and catches Jason trying to lace up the corset on his own and Dick is such a goner because hot damn hot damn he’s fainting don’t call for help though, just cushion his fall with those bolstered tits; let Dick catch himself with hands braced on that cinched waist fuuuuuuuuuu–

For real, Dick is just so delighted because Jason is so gorgeous (and cute and sweet, because of course he flusters and tries to explain everything away, but Dick isn’t a fool; he’s fully encouraging and supportive)

Then it’s just Dick pulling the corset tight for Jason

And marveling at the way he pulls Jason’s breath from him

Looking over Jason’s shoulder to watch Jason watching himself in the mirror

Then running his hands over Jason so that he can watch through the mirror

And when their eyes catch Jason is blushing red and the corset already has him short of breath, but seeing Dick’s heated gaze has him feeling faint–

Then Jason wakes up and Dick is all sheepish because he might have pulled the corset too tight, whoops; they were both a little overzealous

Dick wanting to go with Jason the next time he goes shopping.  He wants to pick something for him, too ;)

This ask.

Bahaha for comedy the baby is absolutely Clark and Jason's. Logic be damned, Bruce would be positively teeming with rage directed solely at his 'partner,' his 'better half,' his 'we're divorced now' bestie and just. One would think Superman went and impregnated Bruce's babygirl as opposed to the cloning that actually happened.

But yes, basically Bruce being mad because:

Clark 'knocked up' Bruce's darling babygirl

Clark is the father

The baby isn't Bruce's

Poor Clark can't catch a break, either, because Dick? He is his adoptive daddy's son through and through and is also teeming with rage directed solely at his 'hero,' his 'most revered mentor,' his 'i'm disowning myself now' second father figure because like. Really?? Dick just bought a ring?? ('But you haven't had your first date yet?' Clark would note, to which Dick would bristle because, 'It's serious-- ;n;').

Let's not forget Damian 'brocon' Al Ghul-Wayne, either. Because ahahaha. Even while Jon is dropping the biggest hints about being disappointed and wanting to start a family with Damian, Damian is zeroed in on Jon's dad because Clark and Jason? Absolutely not. As you might guess, Damian is teeming ahahaha. Because to him, Jason is simultaneously mother and babygirl. In that same vein, Damian's place as t h e b a b y in Jason's life has been stolen from him and he's distraught.

Meanwhile Tim is with Kon and they're just like, PHEW. Thank fuck. But then just a few seconds later they're fooling around because, 'no clones here; I'll put a baby in you myself,' and 'yeah? go ahead and try. ;)'

[kittyball23]

Neverglading (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: John Dory meets an unexpected companion while trekking through the Neverglade Trail

A/N: Taking place before TBT; Makes references to my oneshot from Trolls 3.0 titled "Found" (ch 18) :)

__________________________________________

I guess there’s a reason they call it the NEVERglade Trail, John Dory thought, exhaustedly taking another step forward and forcing himself to look past the fatigue that plagued his body.

The marshland was not that deep underfoot, only coming up to his ankles, but it sure was thick. One could only go so long taking forcible steps before you got awfully tired out, and before the marsh started to feel like it was taking its grimy hands and holding you in place. But John Dory was not letting it deter him. He refused for it to. He had been the leader of BroZone, and there had been certain traits that a leader needed to have. A key one of those was determination, a strong drive to get done what one strived to get done, and, if it could helped, completing it in the best way possible (or, as John Dory liked to call it, in the most brodacious way possible!).

Come on, JD, he urged himself, you CAN do it! Hauling his knees up, he marched through the boggy trail, ignoring the burn in his muscles. FEEL the burn, he encouraged himself, using the same words he had on Spruce when the Troll had adamantly prepared for every show they’d performed with some workout exercises beforehand. And besides, he continued lecturing, why would I give up now? Just a few yards or so away, he could see the telltale green that indicated a smooth, solid patch of grass. The end of the trail! Knowing his victory was just a hop, skip, and jump away fueled the Troll, and he hauled himself forward some more. Yes! Almost there! Just gotta -

“Rrrwoaw !”

JD gasped at the sudden cry that pierced the air and, upon reflex, took a fighting stance. It was very unexpected, with the only sounds that had accompanied his trek thus far being the bubbling of the bog, a couple of bugs flitting by with a quick ZZZZT! , distant bird calls, and the sound of his own heaving grunts. The sound was foreign among the others, and did not give off the vibe of a creature who was in any way relaxed. And that made the green hair on the back of his neck rise in an unpleasant way. Was he being hunted? Was that the creature's cry of battle, ready to charge at the unsuspecting Troll and splatter what would become his remains across the land?

John Dory shuddered, suddenly feeling cold. Nobody deserved to go out like that!

“RRWOAW !”

He grimaced upon hearing the cry resound again, and not two seconds after that, again. That's when the Troll had to stop and think. For one, he was still standing there, the bottom hems of his white slacks a little muddied, but otherwise well off. If this creature had wanted to attack him, then surely it would have done so already. Or else, why make the ruckus? Any predator intelligent enough in the order of things in the food chain would know to keep quiet and not scare off their prey with any loud sounds. This creature, whatever it was, was not following that basic protocol. Which got JD thinking… perhaps it wasn't hunting. Perhaps it was…

“RRRRWOOOAW!!”

… distressed.

His head whirled around to his far left, in the direction the call had been coming from, somewhere off the bog's marked trail in the swampy woods. He sucked in a deep breath. There was a certain order to things. Just like in his band, for example. He was BroZone’s leader (a role that he believed his brothers could have shown him much more appreciation for taking). Spruce was the Heartthrob, Clay the Fun Boy, Floyd the Sensitive One, and Branch the Baby, all with their own reasons for being that way. And he was sure that there was a reason to why this trail was marked, why it didn't veer off to the left where the noises were coming from. What dangers were that way? They were dangers he didn't really have to find out about. But for the sake of the creature, he wanted to. There was a soft spot somewhere in JD for critters, even if Grandma had never let him have one of his own. He still loved playing with Pop Village's pets when time between band rehearsals and keeping his brothers in line permitted. Still, John Dory gazed longingly at the patch of green up ahead, where he could rest his aching feet and sore muscles.

He paused to reconsider. Maybe it was better to go there first, rest a second, regain some energy, have a snack or two, or…

“RRWOAW !”

… or not .

Before he could change his mind, John Dory stomped his way through the bog, away from his green and right to the source of the sound. The creature's cries were becoming far more frequent now, baying every couple seconds, perhaps even knowing that it had garnered someone's attention at last. John Dory dutifully followed, pushing aside throngs of bushy leaves and slinking through mossy undergrowth until, at last, he came to what he had been seeking. Just beyond a curtain of leaves he could see something thrashing, and the creature's cries were unbearably loud. JD gulped. He hadn't a clue what lay beyond that curtain. Whatever it was may not like him, trying to bite at him with its fangs or swipe at him with claws that may as well pass for daggers. Or, it could be injured, his sights to be met with a gruesome image of blood and gore from wherever it had been wounded.

Aw, no…

He didn't want to hurl, not when he'd just eaten some super delicious marshmallows not five minutes ago!

Regardless, it was no use turning back now. He bothered to trudge his way through the marsh, and he wasn't going to make it a pointless trip. Slowly, his hand went towards the leaves, and he braced himself as he dramatically thrust it aside with a great big swoosh!

"ACK!"

"RROO!"

Both he and the critter surprised each other with a shout. John Dory hid his face with his hands for a second while they both recovered, in case the creature reacted badly. But he didn't end up feeling any chomping on his fingers. Tentatively, he opened his eyes and put his hands down, coming face-to-face with a…

… Well, he didn't know what it was.

Wide, green eyes blinked back at him, pupils shrank some in fear. Its body was armadillo-like, with a shellish exterior that was pudgy-looking in texture. Four stubby green legs kicked around in midair, and just then did he notice that the creature was suspended, tied up among a whole mess of vines with no way to get out.

"Hey, girlie," John Dory whispered, finding his voice after a moment. "Oof… got yourself tied up pretty good, huh?" The critter whimpered, and he couldn’t help chuckling to himself a little at how cute it sounded. Then a thought occurred to him. "Wait a sec… you are a girl, right? Not a boy?" At the mention of the word "boy" and the suggestion of being one, the critter growled, and JD got his answer. "A'ight, girl it is. Need some help getting out?"

The critter seemed to somewhat understand what he was saying, and she gave a short bark in reply, wagging her small, stumpy tail.

"Alright, okay, we're gonna solve this right now, yeah?" Shifting, John Dory slipped out of his acorn backpack and leaned it against a tree, hurriedly searching for something, anything that could assist. He couldn’t imagine how the poor girl felt.

Wait a second… yes I CAN.

It suddenly hit John Dory that he had undergone this terrible scenario. It wasn’t too long ago that he had been strewn up in front of nearly all of the Troll Village, trussed alongside his brothers in an embarrassing display during what was their first and last show of the Family Harmony tour. He had known the frustration, the humiliation… and he did not want this little critter to endure that any longer.

Not on MY watch!

“HA!” he shouted, finding the switchblade stashed at the very bottom of his bag. He’d rarely used the item, so it was still in pristine condition. And it would prove useful in this scenario. “I gotcha, girlie!” JD assured, approaching her.

The little creature recoiled a little at the sight of the sharp object, and squirmed when he brought it up the closest vine she was entangled in.

“Relax,” JD whispered, “probably best if you don’t move, ‘kay?”

The critter whimpered a little, but seemed to understand, and stilled. He could still sense her trembling, but he worked quickly, sawing the vine and being extremely careful not to let it touch her in the process. As soon as the first knot was free, the rest was a breeze. The vines fell apart with ease, and he managed to pull her free, holding her firmly in his arms before she tumbled to the ground. She was heavier than she looked, and he grunted a little as he attempted to maintain his balance in the already unstable bog.

“There we go… that wasn’t too bad, was it?” he asked with a chuckle, trying for humor to lighten the mood.

Turns out it wasn't necessary. As soon as she was able to wiggle her arms and legs free, the critter trilled loudly, though this time, it was a trill of happiness, not sounding anything like the cry of desperation that she'd emitted before. In a flurry of gratitude, she leaned up and lapped at John Dory’s face in a series of doggy-like kisses.

“Okay, you’re welcome, you’re welcome!” he laughed. Once free of the critter’s tongue, he glanced around, not really wanting to go trudging through the boggy forest again. Luckily, he had another trick up his sleeve. He reached into his green hair and pulled out a grappling hook, shooting it out so it gripped the top of a tall tree above their heads.

“Hang on, tight, girl!”

The critter squeaked in surprise when John Dory swept them up into the air, using his stretchy Troll hair to swing them up and out on the tree limbs like monkey bars. Before he knew it, they were on that patch of grass and away from the swampy place.

The critter celebrated with a chirpy noise, snuggling up next to JD and wagging her tail.

In a fond gesture, JD bent down and patted her head. “Not a problemo, a’ight?” he cooed. “Now, I better scoot. Catch you later, small fry. I got another trail ta hike!”

John Dory began to head off, adjusting his backpack on his back a little better, when he suddenly became aware of the creature’s remaining presence, padding behind him. When he turned to look at her, she wagged her tail and panted.

"You're welcome, girly!" he chuckled, giving a thumbs up and hoping she'd get the message. But when he turned around to head off again, he could still hear her footsteps coming along behind him on the grass. That was when he realized what was going on, and after a couple seconds he called out to her. "Uh, you're kinda coming with me, aren'tcha?"

She barked affirmatively, and he bent down to her level, letting her rub affectionately against the hand that he held out to her. "What's a matter, girl, you don't got a family?" The mention of a family got the critter somber. She looked down, her green eyes giving off sadness in the way that rubbed off on JD.

"I don't either," JD admitted, "not anymore, at least..."

He paused for a second, silent, but then got happy at a new realization. "Say... WE got a family now!"

The critter liked the sound of that, and barked in agreement.

"So, if we're gonna be partners in rhyme, gotta kinda call you something other than 'girl' all the time." John Dory tapped his chin and thought. "Hmm... how are you digging 'Anna'?"

The way the pup almost seemed to scoff told him that she wasn't digging it.

"Err, alright... how about ‘Camila’?”

Another scoff.

"'Amy'?"

She grumbled.

"'Zoey'?"

She flopped to the ground.

JD sighed, then tentatively asked, "'Rhonda'?"

The pup sat up, like it had a nice ring to it, and she wagged her tail.

JD's eyes lit up. "'Rhonda'? Yeah? You like that?"

The pup barked and panted, running a few circles around him.

JD laughed and rubbed her head. "Rhonda it is. Now, let's get crackin'!" He whistled and waved a hand to get her to follow him, though that was not a problem. She trailed behind him obediently, occasionally coming to rub up against his legs and yip excitedly. It'd been only a few minutes meeting him, but she already loved his company!

And he loved hers. A friend was just what he needed, and a pet was what he'd always wanted. To get both at once felt great!

He bent down, scratching her behind the head and then bounding off with a pep in his step, having a feeling that hiking this new trail was going to be a whole lot more fun.

[secretly-a-puca]

@four-leafed-pagan-gal if you want a bit of Irish folklore...

@ms-macintosh you might enjoy this short.

@maryland-officially OC lore drop for you?

---++-------------------------++---

I, The creature, the monster, ghost of the Bog.

I, the Trickster, shapeshifter, vengeful Fae.

I, the damned, the outcast, exiled from hell.

"I, the Pookah."

I guard my home, the dark waters and clay-mud. The silver fins and lantern bugs. I peer into the pearlescent film, and gaze at my own chromatic reflection. My black-furred body, long, long arms. The red-coal eyes that solder in my pointed face and antlered head. My last mortal trait is.my human hands, and even they are tainted by Lupine claws.

All my strength, all my magic, all my powers and infinite forms. And I cannot claim my one desire. To be human again.

I turn away.

The people of the village leave me tribute. Buy my peace. The top cream, the chicken's bones. The pig's heart. They come with their rowan wands and trade brights cloth for bog iron. And once a year they sing me a lullaby, then bind me with salt.

They fear me. Seek to control me. Use me and deprive me all in one. I am alone.

Well.

There is the Hag.

The human woman, the sage. They fear her as they fear me. But they respect her too. And she respects me. When the fires come, I will protect her.

The hag has come. She disturbs my melancholia to share with me her meal, a simple chicken broth, and the rriasted marrow on the side. Not like the leavings I share with the village dogs.

She tells me of her week. As she always does. "A girl in the village," she tells me, come to her for a potion. "Too young", the hag is disgusted, I do not understand until she tells me the girl did not choose it. "Her father."

I know the family. The mother kept the old ways, until a spring fever claimed her. Now their wards are failing. My blood boils in my veins. I whisper to the hag. When the girl comes again, the hag will tell her what to do.

---++----------------------++---

When the time comes I feel it in my bones. I walk abroad. I take the form of a black stallion, with burning eyes and human hands, the two things that never change.

I find the gate, the hole in the salt ward that lets me leave my dark home, and I ride through the skies in a rumble of terrible thunder. When I reach the distant farmhouse i land with a final peel, my warning shot across the heavy sky. Fit fettle for the nights work.

The girl has done her work well. She broke the salt ward, and She has left her offering. The morning cream upon her own sil. not the back stoop. Good girl. And the cross of chicken bone. All as described, the old law has been observed, and now I must uphold it.

I stamp my hooves and snort and shake out my mane. The fire in my eyes glows a little brighter. In human tongue I bellow out "The blood O'Biern, I call to you! Come down and face me!"

There is no answer.

"then you will burn, O'Biern. And the Others take you!" I stamp my hooves and turn to go, and then the call comes

"halt! Come back. Who calls me?" The voice is high and timid from fear. He knows me, though he doesn't believe his eyes and ears.

"I do, O'Biern. And I am kinder than my kin to the likes of you."

"Aye? Name yourself, and I'll come down."

"I am Dubhghall O'Móin. I know you of old, boy." The dark stranger from the bog. They all know me.

The man comes down as promised. Tremulous. He puts on a brave front. for my sake, I presume. "what'll you have of me tonight Doyle?"

I stamp my hoof and throw my head, and bring my burning eye down to his. "A challenge, O'Biern. You know the game. A soul for a soul, mine for yours."

"and if I win you'll serve me?"

I lift my chin "for your mortal span."

"And if I should loose?"

"you'll be mine, O'Biern. For my mortal span."

"and never know the peace of heaven..."

He looks pained, and I laugh. "Nor the other place either. Accept the challenge, or take your lumps O'Biern. By the old ways."

---++------------------------++---

[temporalreverie]

Purple red blue yellow white

Throw them high for extra height

Fight a bulborbs make some coin

Louie cooks the tenderloin

Red likes fire it's a blast

White inhales the toxic gas

Blue can swimming so much fun

Purple does a lovely stun

When through many floors you've fall

Use my favorite most of all

Lightning shocks come from that beast

Titan dweevil: yellows' feast

Once upon a time a guy

Captain Oh-Mar fell from sky

Thirty days and thirty parts

Saved his engine that's a start

Pikmin angels what a team

Fixed his ship up like a dream

Did he make it off that bog?

What about the ouppy dog?

Pikmin onion is your friend

Bring those souls back from the end

Plenty of new guys to pluck

Let them bloom first for good luck

Can't forget one special guy

Save the bulbmin mom must die

Oh so cute I'd love to pet

Little guys dodge every threat

Pikmin two has many cave

Pikmin four has spider rave

One has progg you can let loose

Pikmin 3 has yummy juice!

Silly breadbug steals my food

Swooping snitchbug oh so rude

Fiery blowhogs love to oink

Watch out for that gatling groink!

Gotta mention man-at-legs

First hit up the nectar eggs

This big bug has got a gun

Time for your pikmin to run!

Pikmin bring me so much joy

And the little whistle boy

I love throwing all my men

Time for sunset call them in

Yellow red and blue goodnight

Sleeping sweetly purple white

Even bulborbs give a snore

Sleep tight creatures I adore <3

[callofbabythulhu]

Prologue: The Village and The Witch

This is the introductory prologue to an AU fanfiction of @14dayswithyou​.

CW: Strong language, religious imagery, bugs (like loads of em), most possibly OOC for Rendacted, not proofread

Word count: 1.1k

Witches. Wicked creatures that have made a deal with the devil to gain powers that no human should have. They live amongst the people, hidden in plain sight and conducting their sinister rituals in secret.That is what every hunter of the church is taught from the very beginning. However there are witches that decide to seclude themselves from society and live in the wild. More dangerous and powerful than any other witch they are said to drive a man mad just by looking at them. So it was no surprise that a small village at the edge of a bog petitioned for the church’s help when one such wild witch was spotted in the area. 

A month after the letter had been sent a young man arrived by coach. He was dressed in a long leather coat with belts across his chest and waist. A small silver cross dangled from the brim of his hat and underneath was a head of long black hair, tied into a ponytail. A pair of sharp, icy-blue eyes glanced about as the villagers started to assemble around him. A stout old man with bushy gray eyebrows made for the head of the crowd and looked at the presumed witch hunter in front of him. He was young, too young in the elder’s eyes and he made his doubts known. A soft smile graced the young man’s lips but it did not reach his eyes. “I assure you that I am quite capable despite my age. No need to worry yourselves.” 

A grumble escaped the old man who still seemed to doubt that someone of such a tender age could be any good in hunting a dangerous witch. “Well if you say so, son. Is just…we expected someone with a few more years under their belt.” A low mumbling of agreements were heard from the villagers and the hunter’s eyes twitched. “I guarantee that no witch stands even a remote chance against me. I have been training since childhood and have burned a fair share of the wicked creatures by now.” His blue eyes met the older man’s gaze who instinctively took a step back. “Duly noted. My name is Hanstrum. I run this village. May we know your name, so- sir?” The young man’s eyes softened just a bit as a satisfied smirk formed on his lips. “You may call me Ren. Now tell me about that witch of yours.” 

He was led to the small chapel in the center of the village and Hanstrum went inside to tell the hunter what had taken place over the last couple of months.

It all started harmless enough. A few missing chickens and other livestock, stolen crops and destroyed gardens. Nothing that couldn’t have been caused by the wildlife in the nearby bog. What alarmed the villagers however was the woodcutter’s son going missing for almost 3 days before returning shaken and muttering something about moving trees and swarms of insects. Only one thing could be made out for certain from the boy's mad ravings. He had spotted a hut deep in the swamp and after spending the night in there he saw someone by the fire pit outside of it. He tried to sneak away but after stepping on a branch and being spotted all he could remember was the buzzing of bugs and him running for his life.

The old folk were sure that it had to be a witch and wanted to call on the church then and there but the woodcutter wanted to take matters into his own hands and assembled a party of able bodied men to seek the hut out and burn the witch. No one could get any information of where the location of the hut was out of the boy. All he kept saying was flowers and bugs so that is what the men used to search. However as night began to fall they were still no closer to finding anything and under the light of a fire they discussed what to do next. There in the firelight they saw her. In the tree line not far away a pair of golden eyes was staring at them. The men gave a start and when the witch raised her hand and hissed in their direction they ran as fast as their feet could carry them back to the village. 

The call for aid was sent after they had returned shaken and mad with fear. Everyone who had seen the witch had been plagued by nightmares since with those that had gazed into her eyes having the worst of it. Everyone was sure that they had been cursed for daring to seek out the witch.

“Please. You have to help us before that witch curses the whole village and starts stealing our children!” The plea of old Hanstrum echoed in the chapel as he gazed at Ren. His eyes were closed and he seemed lost in thought. There was silence for a few tense moments as the elder didn’t dare speak again. Ren clicked his tongue and nodded, opening his eyes. “I will deal with your witch. But I will need supplies and this service does not come cheap.” His eyes met the elder’s who gulped and nodded. “We are aware. You shall have whatever you need just say the word.” Ren gave a satisfied hum and smiled. “I need provisions and all the silver you have. I will also need some holy water and if you have any black powder I shall need that as well.” Hanstrum nodded and took note of all the witch hunter demanded. “We will see that your payment is ready when you return with proof of the deed done and I will send someone to bring you the supplies you asked for.” He gave a nod. “Good. I shall head out at first light tomorrow. Be sure to have the supplies delivered by then.” The elder nodded and thanked Ren once again. He clapped the young man’s shoulder and left him to prepare in the chapel. Ren’s smile vanished and he wiped the spot on his coat where the elder had touched him. He huffed and turned to face the large cross at the head of the chapel. He reached under his coat and pulled out a rosary. Next to the small brass cross was a small golden ring that glimmered in the candle light. A long sigh escaped Ren as he first brought it to his lips and then his forehead. Wrapping his hands tightly around it he closed his eyes and began his silent prayers.

[get-rammed]

Can I get an info dump about Rodney?

I know he's a bastard as well as a bit of a soft boy with a praise kink, which really intrigues me.

I will always take opportunities to spew about my silly bug boy. This is Rodney Osmund

He's a character of mine.

This is his true form, and secondary form. The humanoid one above is his tertiary form, and what I usually draw him in.

He's had many names and many lives in his history. Within the universe I've made, he's a Fiend and can die and be reborn any time Trevor dies. Trevor being one of his 3 siblings. Veronica and Caroline being the other two.

He was once a Warlord by the name of Bog Belly. A scourge upon man and Demon (Demons being an alien race by the name of Tymos who eventually just adopted the name Demons as a secondary and or primary name)

Bog Belly slaughtered thousands simply because he was born angry over and over again, and wanted to have everyone under his heels. No truama there. No reasons. Just a dick because that's his true nature. Though he was kind to his cult members, and his breeding stock.

But roughly 200 years ago, his sister Veronica defeated him in battle. Ending his reign of terror. Veronica heads a group called the Hunters. They were formed specifically to track and kill Bog Belly. After that goal was completed, they more or less ended Warlords being a problem, and now are a government body.

Veronica is the bad twin between herself and Caroline. So she saw zero issue with parading around a defeated Bog Belly. Forcing him to be an act of sorts for a few years before making him work with Colton (Trevor) to improve his morality.

When James (Trevor) picks a fight with his sister and gets all of them killed, they're reborn into their new and current lives.

Every one of Rodney's parents have always been cruel and mean to him. Forcing his nature to always be mean spirited. Except things were different this time.

Rodney's mom was endlessly patient with him, and always showed him true compassion and love. No matter what he did. Rodney is her baby boy, and he's an absolute mama's boy.

Being there for him as he spiraled into drug problems, and there when he cleaned up. He loves his mother. The first person he's ever truly loved.

So when he regained his memories and his full personality, he was far more docile than he had ever been. Not to say he's not still a bastard. He would absolutely kill you with zero hesitation and not even flinch as you cry for help.

But he's definitely trying to feel more empathy and understand what it's like to be normal. But it's a struggle for him. But he is trying.

This man needs. A lot of therapy lmao.

- He hates going to Hunter bases because he's been assaulted a number of times in a multitude of ways.

Rodney leveled a Hunter base in Ohio because of this. He's banned from the state of Ohio. Veronica covered this situation up as she understands why he did it.

She doesn't know he's still assaulted at some bases :( and he won't tell her because he doesn't believe anything will be done about it.

- Rodney can open his pupils to freeze in terror whoever looks at them, in place

- Rodney had front horns like his sister Caroline, but Trevor snapped them off in a fit of well deserved rage.

- Rodney overall is a dick (but he's trying to get better), and uses sex, various drugs, and alcohol to try and survive instead of getting therapy.

- He is taught about in schools as a part of history. People recognize him sometimes and point and talk about him. He's used to it and generally just ignores it.

- Even though he's trying to get better. If given the chance to get his power back. He would. With no hesitation.

- Rodney uses humor and acts like a dipstick so people don't expect too much from him. It upsets him a little hit to be labeled as a man whore who has no real thoughts besides memes, but he also knows it's better than the alteratives.

- Fiends have incredibly low fertility rates, but Rodney has eggs. He has roughly 100 kids, but he acknowledges none of them. "You're my son? And? I ain't got shit for you besides some protips. Get away from me or I will kill you."

- Rodney's spit is dual functional. It is both the most caustic venom known to man or Demon kind. But it also a heavy aphrodisiac. It completely depends on his mood. So it's a risk if you kiss him lmao

- He has a motorcycle and often will still ride it around

You can read more about him, his siblings, and the universe overall here. Just as a warning though. It's long lmao

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Hi I was just asking what would happen if Spider was a cis girl in Cabin in the Woods and I decided to expand on the question 😅 Would Quaritch still make her cut her hair? What if Spider was a tomboy, would Quaritch accept that or is a man the type of "woman supposed to have long hair and cook and clean"? What would she casual wear, a dress or something like dungarees, tracksuits? What would Quaritch's general behavior towards her be, would it be different from how he treated his son? And what about typically "girly" things like makeup, periods?

I love this question so much. Gender bends are really entertaining for me when done right so I have some thoughts.

So before I get into the more detailed things that your asking about I want to get into more broad dynamics. So I write Quaritch as being the type of parent that views there child more as an extension of themselves instead of as there own individual. That's a big reason why he's so possessive of Spider. That sentiment doesn't change if Spider where a girl but the dynamic definitely does. Because father daughter relationships are just going to be different then father son relationships for a ton of different person/social reasons. I think a big one in this case though is that fathers typically see more of themselves in there sons then there daughters, just like mothers typically see themselves in there daughters. So while Quaritch would still be possessive and be all "that's my kid and she should be with me." I think he'd see a female Spider as an extension of Paz instead of himself, and that would probably make him even more protective and possessive.

Next I want to get into what fem!Spider would be like. I'm really not a fan of it when people just make 100% the same character just with a different gender. Of course at her core Spider would still be Spider, a kid with a heart of gold, that's loyal and kind to a fault, while also being snarky and sarcastic, a bit guarded due to there upbringing, very independent and self sufficient. I feel like some foster families/social workers would probably try to enforce stereotypical gender roles on her, to make her more "lady like" and less of a wild child and fem!Spider would just be like "lol no." I write regular Spider as being a skater boy, but I feel like fem!Spider would be more of a hippy chic. Think aesthetic bog witch if that makes sense lol. Loves all things nature, plants, crystals, bugs, snakes. Goes for walks in the woods bare foot and comes back covered in mud. Mostly has guy friends without being a "I'm not like other girls"/pick me type. Also I think she'd like to roller blade for fun.

Style wise I think she'd keep it easy with more lose fitting soft clothes. Things like jumpsuits, soft cotton pants, maybe some comfortable easy to move in flowy skirts when she's in the mood, and lose tops. She'd keep her hair really long (I'm talking waist length) and do fun braids all the time, Fem!Spider would have fun with makeup too, bold colors, glitter, flower stickers on her face. All in all I think she'd have a free spirted hippy look with a tomboy take no shit kind of attitude.

So now as for how Quaritch would treat her in Cabin in the Woods. I think that Quaritch is a very get what you give kind of a guy and that's regardless of gender. Basically he'd respect you unless you give him a reason not to. So he's not a "women belong in the kitchen type." I actually feel that Quaritch would be way less confident in his ability to parent a daughter and so would be thrilled if fem!Spider was more of a rugged nature lover. Like I said up top father daughter relationships are just different then father son. I actually feel like they'd bond quicker if Spider was a girl, because Quaritch would just be more gentile with her. Fem!Spider probably wouldn't have gotten tied up like Spider does in my fic. She'd still get that ankle monitor which is basically a tracker/shock collar that goes off if you hit the invisible permitter. The house would be locked up tight, anything that could be used as a weapon/ lock pick hidden, and she'd be locked in her room every night. But Quaritch would just be such a doting dad that he'd win her over after a long while/the Stockholm syndrome would kick in.

Recently I actually wrote a section in Cabin in the woods that details Quaritch's thoughts on regular Spider's long hair so to summarize that, he doesn't like it, thinks it makes him look shabby/uncared for, and blames Spider's "caretakers" for letting it get so bad. Basically he wants his child to look neat because a clean cut look= cared for, in his mind. That wouldn't be un true for fem!Spider but it would be different since girls having long hair is largely considered the norm. The only reason I could see him giving fem!Spider a dramatically short cut would be if her hair was actually really damaged and poorly maintained. If Spider can take care of her long hair then she can keep it. He'd just trim it for her a few times a year to keep it healthy.

Clothing wise I feel like Quaritch prioritizes function over style. He'd make his daughter wear clothes that are appropriate for the woods. jeans, hiking boots, t-shirts, warm jackets. As long at they fall into that category then fem!Spider can have them in any pattern/color she wants. Makeup though would probably be a no go in the cabin just because it's only the two of them so why bother in Quaritch's eyes.

As for dealing with periods Quaritch wouldn't be a bitch about it and act all disgusted by it but he wouldn't be over the top caring either. It'd very much be, "y'a got everythin' y'a need" fem!Spider "yeah" Quaritch 👍. And that would be it.

Thank you so much for the question! this was so much fun for me💞💞

[breach-of-conduct]

cookin up a silly little bitb selkie au... the thoughts plague me

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Call Me Maybe

Written By: Carly Rae Jepsen, Josh Ramsay & Tavish Crowe

Artist: Carly Rae Jepsen

Released: 2011

“Call Me Maybe” is a song by Canadian pop icon Carly Rae Jepsen. It initially served as the lead single for her original second studio album Curiosity, which was cut down to a 6 track EP just days before its release. After the immense success this song had, managing to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart the week of June 23rd, 2012; as well as being named “Song of the Summer” for that year by several publications, she embarked on a quick journey to make her second full-length studio album (and first worldwide release) Kiss, for which Call Me Maybe also served as the lead single. Lyrically, the song is about a crush. The writing is straightforward and visual, with lines such as “Ripped jeans, skin was showing”. The simplicity of the lyrics, as well as their relatability, makes the song easy to latch on to and enjoy. Sonically, the song is mainly held together by a four-on-the-floor style drum pattern, as well as string sounds that shine from the very start of the track until the end, where they slow down and get pitched to bring the energy to a stop. The song has been described as being “Bubblegum Pop”, referring to it’s light and sugary feel.

[Verse 1] I threw a wish in the well Don't ask me, I'll never tell I looked to you as it fell And now you're in my way I trade my soul for a wish Pennies and dimes for a kiss I wasn't looking for this But now you're in my way [Pre-Chorus] Your stare was holdin' Ripped jeans, skin was showin' Hot night, wind was blowin' Where you think you're going, baby? [Chorus] Hey, I just met you and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe It's hard to look right at you, baby But here's my number, so call me, maybe Hey, I just met you and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe And all the other boys try to chase me But here's my number, so call me, maybe [Verse 2] You took your time with the call I took no time with the fall You gave me nothin' at all But still you're in my way I beg and borrow and steal At first sight and it's real I didn't know I would feel it But it's in my way [Pre-Chorus] Your stare was holdin' Ripped jeans, skin was showin' Hot night, wind was blowin' Where you think you're going, baby? [Chorus] Hey, I just met you and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe It's hard to look right at you, baby But here's my number, so call me, maybe Hey, I just met you and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe And all the other boys try to chase me But here's my number, so call me, maybe [Post-Chorus] Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad I missed you so bad I missed you so, so bad Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad And you should know that I missed you so, so bad [Bridge] It's hard to look right at you, baby But here's my number, so call me, maybe [Chorus] Hey, I just met you and this is crazy But here's my number, so call me, maybe And all the other boys try to chase me But here's my number, so call me, maybe [Post-Chorus] Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad I missed you so bad I missed you so, so bad Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad And you should know that So call me, maybe

Like Real People Do

Written By: Hozier

Artist: Hozier

Released: 2014

Alternate version included: Live in America, 2015

This song is a metaphor. Hozier uses “bog bodies” in Ireland, bodies which are exhumed after centuries of natural mummification, to describe a new relationship.

[Verse 1] I had a thought, dear, however scary About that night, the bugs and the dirt Why were you digging? What did you bury Before those hands pulled me from the earth? [Chorus] I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask and neither should you Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do [Verse 2] I knew that look, dear: eyes always seeking Was there in someone that dug long ago So I will not ask you why you were creeping In some sad way, I already know [Chorus] So I will not ask you where you came from I would not ask and neither would you Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do [Chorus] I could not ask you where you came from I could not ask and neither could you Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips We could just kiss like real people do

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Kiko I hope you had a great first day at your new job!!!! And I hope the shit weather we're getting in Louisiana isn't hitting your part of your state cuz boy am I not having fun anymore lol. I have 2 things to bug you with on this Tuesday morning- I do have a teeny tiny lil Goinko ask: I am so curious to hear Gojo's inner dialogue when he's watching Rinko fight. Like the genuine sorta oh shit she's tough, oh shit she aint weak, Jesus what a badass... I'm gonna fuck her xD The second- I have been toying with the idea of writing my own fanfic with my own OC and um... I can't seem to start. I have a decent idea of the general plot, no clue how it will end, but I open up Word, type two words, and then close the program. Idk if I need advice or encouragement lol but I look up to you a lot as a writer so I decided to make it your problem too 😅

RAI, HELLO! 💕

I did have a great first day! It was long and exhausting, but in a good way! 😊

The weather has just been kinda cold and foggy. Like, my drive home today was very foggy. Could barely see at all. But other than that, it. hasn't been too bad!!

YOU ARE NOT BUGGING ME BUT I WILL PLAY ALONG 😂

My answers are below the cut!!

Gojo's inner monologue when he sees Rinko fighting? 🤔🤔

In a few situations, he's super smug that she's doing so well because he knows she doesn't even realize or acknowledge how strong she actually is. So when she's just destroying something, he's all cocky and proud of her. It reminds him how much he loves her because she can take care of herself. One of the things he's always appreciated about her is that she doesn't let her insecurities or pride get her into situations that are too much for her to take. She's not arrogant. She doesn't show off. She's just there to get the job done. But that's what makes it so sexy to him.

So when he sees Rinko fighting, he's literally just like, 'That's my girl. So sexy and strong. I love her so much. Ass looks incredible, too. And she needs to hurry because as soon as she wraps this up, she's mine. Wonder how pissed she'll be if I just take her here-' because he's a horny boi who always wants to be inside her 😂😂

Advice for how to start with your fic?

Don't try to start from the beginning. Start somewhere in the middle, and work from there. The ending doesn't have to be established right away, either. That can develop as you figure out the story! But as for how and where to start, anywhere. Have a random bit of dialogue? Start with that. It doesn't have to stay in the end, but having something there will really help you. Write nonsense. Write ideas. Concepts. Anything to get those juices flowing. Because nothing is more daunting than a blank page.

Two things I saw recently made me realize that I already did these things most of the time:

Writing choppy, maybe cheesy or dumb dialogue. You can fill in the rest later, or not at all. You can change it up or edit it, but cutting and editing, or even re-writing, is easier than getting yourself to write the initial draft.

"You look like shit." "Sure know how to charm a girl, huh?" "You'd be more pissed if I lied to you." "True." "Still look awful, though." "Fuck off."

You don't have to put markers or indicators because it's a first draft. First draft and final draft are rarely going to match, and that's okay. Preferred most of the time, actually. But yeah, just toss that dialogue down to help you get started and then go from there!

Start with notes or random shit about what you want to happen. Some people put it in brackets to describe the setting, scene, or character's actions so that they can continue writing without being bogged down by the pressure to figure out the rest perfectly.

I'll provide an example or two from a WIP of the lockout key idea dump I posted a while ago. (I make no promises that I'll ever finish or post this, but it's the best example I could find that doesn't spoil a bunch of stuff for the other stories)

[he comes to ask for a key even though he's already maxed out his number of lockout keys. he ends up trying to lean in closer and she shoves a cookie in his mouth instead] - this one is a general idea and one thing I definitely want to happen in that scene/snippet

[fire drill in the middle of the night forcing everyone outside until the alarm stops going off. he forgets his key because he had to rush out while he was half-asleep.] - this one is describing the primary setting for the scene/snippet: they're outside, he's very sleepy, and he forgot his key.

All in all, don't be afraid of being random and choppy for your first draft!

I hope this advice helped, Rai! I'm afraid I might have babbled a bit... 🙃

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE WELL!! 💕💕💕💕

[emmersreads]

We Ride Upon Sticks - Quan Barry

4/5

I enjoyed 92% of We Ride Upon Sticks and that’s mostly because I approached it with the right attitude: it ain’t that deep.

This novel is best appreciated as a lighthearted and goofy romp down memory lane. The marketing blurb compares it to Stranger Things and that’s an absolutely delusional comparison; both works trade in 80s nostalgia, but that’s where the similarity ends. It’s better to think of We Ride Upon Sticks as a teen comedy with a faintly supernatural flavour, like Ouran High School Host Club, Derry Girls, or in my mind especially, British comedy St. Trinian’s. Everything, from the supernatural to the interpersonal, is to be jeered and mocked with 2 kool 4 skool teen swagger. And that’s a lot of fun.

I enjoyed the book on its own terms — it’s a genuinely heartwarming picture of teenage friendship and rebellion, and I did indeed laugh at the jokes — but I also liked it on a meta-level. It’s nice to have an unapologetically queer and feminist high school comedy without it being bogged down by mawkish emotional problems. I know I was once a teen constantly beleaguered by mawkish emotional problems (twas the era of Fall Out Boy and 21 Pilots), but as an adult that isn’t the part I look back on fondly. In other words, the art style of Heartstopper is very cute, but manzo do they have problems. We Ride Upon Sticks nails how irony-poisoned and allergic to sincerity we were as teens, and for some reason that meant a lot more to me than teenagers working through their emotions using healthy coping mechanisms and clear communication.

The only thing that really bugged me in the majority of the novel was the unceasing reoccurring jokes. Quan Barry loves a running gag. They come back so constantly and with such absurd regularity that it came back around to being funny for me (through I think a less easily entertained reader might find it simply unendurable instead). But that’s the majority of the book, and I want to move on to the 8% of We Ride Upon Sticks that I didn’t enjoy: the ending.

An unavoidably huge part of this novel is that it is socially conscious. It wants to do right by the feminist, queer, and BIPOC struggles of 80s teens and it wants you to know in the clearest most thoroughly explained language possible. Some readers might find this sanctimonious, but I thought it was fine. One weakness of this approach, however, is that it is always very obvious when the author fumbles the bag.

In this case the bag is the character Corey Young, formerly ‘boy’ Corey.

Spoilers for the ending of We Ride Upon Sticks.

The novel ends with a flash forward to our characters reuniting as middle-aged women so we can see what happened to the Danvers Falcons in adult life. I liked the idea and I liked the fact that for more of the characters their formative years continued well after high school graduation. The one I didn’t like was boy Corey. In the intervening years she has come out and fully transitioned. Now, I know a lot of trans people in real life and also I understand obvious foreshadowing, so I saw this coming a mile away. It was not a Reveal. Problem is the book so desperately wanted to treat it as one. We get this super long fake out scene before the book reveals that Corey is a woman now! Surprise! Were you expecting a man! I found that kinda tasteless.

What bothered me more is that while we hear a lot about the team’s anxiety about reuniting with Corey — will they say the wrong thing? Did they made transition harder for her? — we never hear anything from Corey herself. I’d put this down to a lack of authorial confidence. It feels like Barry is a lot more familiar with how it feels to be friends with a trans woman than how it feels to be a trans woman. That’s not a problem in and of itself, but I felt we needed to hear Corey’s side of things too. Is she excited to reunite with all her friends as her authentic gender? Is she apprehensive about spending time with people who only knew her pre-transition? This book is all about centring marginalized perspectives, that’s why it spends so much time explicitly calling out the ways the characters themselves fails at this — that it was disappointing for it to end by cantering a bunch of cis women’s anxiety about being accepting enough over a trans woman’s thoughts. Since this is what the book is All About, the comparatively small detail has an out-sized impact.

I already didn’t like the specifics of the reveal, and its general effect didn’t work either. It is one of a whole bunch of fake outs and twists in the flash forward section. There are so many that it fucks up the pacing, since the story is now being told essentially in reverse to accommodate the dramatic reveals. It ends on the note that the Danvers Falcons’ success was never the work of the devil, the idea of supernatural intervention just gave a bunch of teenagers the excuse they needed to work hard and band together. I thought that was really sweet, but it takes so long to get there that I was just ready for it to be over.

On balance, this is a recommend from me. I like that it’s fun and lighthearted, but it is also a queer novel that isn’t afraid to be ironic and crass. I enjoyed the absurd 80s references and the overplayed jokes. I liked that sports fiction can be for girls sometimes!

Let the hairspray wash over you and don’t worry about what the long term effects of all those CFCs will end up being.

[valdiis]

5 Songs I'm Into RN

Tagged by @soulshards-ooc (Thank you! I love these!)

Too Sweet by Hozier (CW: Bugs in the video)

You know you’re bright as the morning As soft as the rain Pretty as a vine As sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel Maybe I’ll wait

Honestly, I don't care if it makes me basic or w/e, I love everything this strange bog man puts out. This song is such a jam too.

Firestorm by Danny Schmidt

I made my way from Spain to France A naked sort of paper dance There were stamps to beg for and palms demanding grease They said there’s nothing they could do They said there’s tricks that get you through Was a time I would have nailed those palms to trees

There's several really clever turns of phrase in this song and it is such a strong OC song too.

Lake Pontchartrain by Ludo

That's how it happened, why would I lie? There were no bodies, I've got none to hide I'm just a boy, lost his friends in the rain Any more questions, just go and ask Lake Pontchartrain

It's just fun, okay?

The Man by The Killers

When it comes to Friday, I always earn (Ooh-ooh) Don't try to teach me, I got nothing to learn 'Cause baby I'm gifted You see what I mean? USDA certified lean

This song is so ridiculous and wonderful. I know that the Killers in general are Horribly Depressing(TM) because my husband listens to a lot of them, but this song makes me smile.

Slumber Party by Ashnikko

Me and your girlfriend playing dress up in my house I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch She cute, kawaii, hentai boobies, that excites me I think she really likes me Ask politely, can I ooo ooo ooo

You may have noticed that I have a thing for ridiculous songs lately. Does it get more ridiculous than this one? Also, what a burn.

Tagging: @shieke, @canalstreetbaker, @so-called-yokai, @briar-ffxiv, and @shadesofblades

[mr-imagin8ion]

A project 3000 years in the making: every episode of Futurama ranked in increasing order of sci-fi, from earthiest to spaciest

Tier 10: Insulting - These episodes are hardly even sci-fi. They just address realistic situations in a hardly even futuristic setting.

148. Stench and Stenchibility - The earthiest episode. It doesn't even feel like a Futurama. It feels like a "King of the Hill" that wasn't selling, so the script people crossed out the name "Dale" and replaced it with "Zoidberg".

147. Three Hundred Big Boys

146. The Luck of the Fryish - I hate the flashback episodes. They defeat the purpose of the show.

145. How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

144. A Leela of Her Own

143. Zapp Gets Cancelled

142. I, Roommate

Tier 9: Antiquated - These episodes are better at employing 4th-millennium technology, but their plots are still unmistakably 3rd-millennium.

141. That's Lobstertainment!

140. Naturama - It doesn't even use technology. The only reason it isn't completely below the scale whatsoever is that it's implied the narrator is from Omicron Persei 8.

139. Future Stock

138. The 30% Iron Chef

137. Cuteness Overlord

136. The Silence of the Clamps

135. Attack of the Killer App

134. Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television

Tier 8: Earthy - While incredibly down-to-earth, these episodes do have one pretty important bit that makes them qualify as sci-fi, like a robot Santa or a head transplant.

133. Jurassic Bark

132. Yo Leela Leela - It is nearly my favorite episode, no doubt there - but let's face it. Change a few things, and it could easily happen in this era.

131. Raging Bender

130. Rage Against the Vaccine

129. Xmas Story

128. The Route of All Evil - It's the 31st century, but there are still newspapers????

127. The Impossible Stream

126. Put Your Head on My Shoulders

125. Fry and the Slurm Factory

Tier 7: Humble - These stories are a little futuristic, but they still feel plain for their day.

124. Bender Gets Made

123. Cold Warriors

122. Saturday Morning Fun Pit - Mostly grounded in the 1980s, but spared from a lower tier because it does have clones and lasers and the like.

121. The Cyber House Rules

120. Bendless Love

119. Near-Death Wish - The expensive panoramic bits were pretty epic, however.

118. The One Amigo

117. Attack of the Clothes

116. The Lesser of Two Evils

115. 31st Century Fox

Tier 6: Allegorical - These episodes use future crap as a metaphorical stand-in for present crap.

114. Bend Her

113. Into the Wild Green Yonder

112. Planet Espresso

111. A Big Piece of Garbage

110. Proposition Infinity

109. The Cryonic Woman

108. Mars University

107. The Futurama Mystery Liberry - Futurama is forgetting what Futurama is.

106. Bendin' in the Wind

105. Love's Labours Lost in Space

104. A Head in the Polls

103. Children of a Lesser Bog

102. The Futurama Holiday Spectacular

101. Quids Game

100. A Flight to Remember

99. Fun on a Bun

98. Lethal Inspection

97. The Temp

Tier 5: Type-Zero - Pretty standard sci-fi plots, unremarkable in their remarkability.

96. Anthology of Interest I

95. A Pharaoh to Remember

94. Beauty and the Bug

93. The Problem with Popplers

92. T.: The Terrestrial

91. Viva Mars Vegas

90. The Inhuman Torch

89. Amazon Women in the Mood

88. The Deep South

87. The Mutants Are Revolting

86. One is Silicon and the Other Gold

85. A Fishful of Dollars

84. Where No Fan Has Gone Before

83. Leela's Homeworld

Tier 4: Techie - Here's where it gets fun. These are the first plots to get out of this world. (As a bonus, we've hit the median point!)

82. The Tip of the Zoidberg

81. Fry and Leela's Big Fling

80. That Darn Katz!

79. Murder on the Planet Express

78. When Aliens Attack

77. The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings

76. Space Pilot 3000

75. A Clone of My Own

74. The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

73. Where the Buggalo Roam

72. The Beast with a Billion Backs

71. How The West Was 1010001

70. Brannigan, Begin Again

69. The Farnsworth Parabox

68. A Taste of Freedom

67. Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?

66. Less than Hero

65. Spanish Fry

64. The Sting

63. The Bots and the Bees

62. Meanwhile

61. Related to Items You've Viewed - It feels like it should be a tier-6, but just isn't. There is no mathematical explanation for this.

60. The Butterjunk Effect

Tier 3: Otherworldly: The epitome of Futurama. These have the ideal blend of science and fiction.

59. Fry Am Fry Is the Egg Man - Grammar, Stanley.

58. Parasites Regained

57. The Prince and the Product

56. Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch

55. Mother's Day

54. The Series Has Landed

53. Decision 3012

52. Hell Is Other Robots

51. A Tale of Two Santas

50. Anthology of Interest II

49. Bender's Game

48. Insane in the Mainframe

47. In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela

46. War Is the H-Word

45. I Know What You Did Next Xmas - A ponderance: does this episode nullify "The Late Philip J. Fry", now that they can go back in time the easy way?

44. Crimes of the Hot

Tier 2: Spacey - Mind-bending and heart-warping, these shows are good enough to make you (very, very temporarily) stop wishing Matt Groening would die.

43. A Farewell to Arms

42. Parasites Lost

41. Otherwise

40. Game of Tones

39. Overclockwise

38. Zapp Dingbat

37. Godfellas

36. The Thief of Baghead

35. Free Will Hunting

34. My Three Suns

33. Leela and the Genestalk - Fun side note: At first, it didn't used to occur to me that this episode was pronounced "JEEN-stalk". I'd been pronouncing it "JEN-ə-stalk", like the way it's pronounced in words like genetic, genesis, or generate.

32. The Why of Fry

31. Roswell that Ends Well

30. Calculon 2.0

29. Assie Come Home

28. Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

27. All the Presidents' Heads

26. Forty Percent Leadbelly

25. Möbius Dick - Some episodes are ranked so low only because there are so many that rank higher than them.

24. I Second that Emotion

23. The Day the Earth Stood Stupid

22. The Duh-Vinci Code

21. Obsoletely Fabulous

20. Fear of a Bot Planet

Tier 1: Unreal - Creativity personified; these stories are chariots to the stars, moving so fast that they make the other nine tiers appear to stand still.

19. Ghost in the Machines

18. Neutopia

17. 2-D Blacktop

16. Law and Oracle

15. Love and Rocket

14. Rebirth

13. A Bicyclops Built for Two

12. I Dated a Robot

11. Bender's Big Score

10. The Six Million Dollar Mon

9. A Clockwork Origin

8. The Honking

7. Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles

6. Reincarnation

5. The Late Philip J. Fry

4. All the Way Down - Infinitely better than I expected from a Hulu episode.

3. The Prisoner of Benda - Nothing says sci-fi like inventing a whole new math equation just to give your story a proper ending.

2. Time Keeps on Slippin'

1. Benderama - The spaciest episode. Now this is what it is all about: half-sized clones and microscopic microbrewing and sensitive giants.

Other notes:

The spaciest season is season 6 (weighing in at a high tier-2), and the earthiest is season 9 (a heartbreaking tier-7).

This is intended as a ranking of the episodes in order of earthiness to spaciness, not as a ranking of my opinion on the episodes. A ranking of my opinion is over here.

Drafting this list took all night, and preparing it took all morning.

[sevenmothz]

Finally finished The Veilguard! Probably would have gotten it done earlier, but with how things went with the election, safe to say I lost some drive to keep playing for a little bit haha.

Overall thoughts, good and bad, beneath the cut. Spoilers ahead if you haven't finished the game yet.

The Good:

Combat: Super fun! I might be tempted to try this game on higher difficulties. I never felt like I was getting bogged down by random fights like I have in past Dragon Age games (Origins is probably the worst offender of the four games, but Inquisition is up there too). Playing a mage was fantastic and I'm so glad they finally aren't just standing around waving their staffs around lmao.

Lore: DWARF LOOOORRRREEEE!!!! That's probably the part I got most hype about haha. Also thoroughly enjoyed playing a Watcher and learning more about the Necropolis through Rook and Emmrich. I don't think any of the other factions can top the Mourn Watch for me, tbh. The elf shit was engaging enough to continue on with the story, but I'm not a big Solas girly and the elven history of Dragon Age has never been something I've been super invested in. Definitely side-eyeing the little tidbit we got from finishing Taash's personal quests though! If Dragon Age survives to see another game, I'm super into finding out more about qunari and their origins.

Characters: Really enjoyed the companions and their stories overall, and I'm glad they involved so many one-on-one quests with (some) of them. Also really loved meeting so many characters I've seen in the books and comics over the years. Getting to take screenshots of my Inquisitor in a new graphic style was also a plus.

Art: I know a lot of people really dislike the style the game is in--hell, I was iffy on it too when all I had was to watch the promotional videos--but as soon as I started the game myself, I really loved it! I don't know if they updated some things since dropping promo videos or what, but it just looks so much better in person on my gaming system. I hope they'll take a similar stylistic approach for any future Dragon Age games they maybe might do since I'm pretty burnt out on hyper-realistic looking games.

Maps: Blessedly linear, but expansive enough to feel good with revisiting areas to check out spots that were blocked previously. It made me think a lot of God of War's reboot games as well as the Jedi games, which I also really enjoyed playing. Inquisition had vast wastelands with practically nothing but enemies populating their maps and it just made me want to get from point A to B as fast as possible. While I overused the fast travel in this first playthrough since I wanted to get through the whole story, I'll definitely be using them less in future playthroughs so I can enjoy not only banter, but also what NPCs are saying throughout the areas.

Armors: Ooooh gorl so many armors I liked in the game! For most of the game my Rook was wearing that white/purple get-up with the big cap and UNF! Loved it. Switched off to a rogue-looking armor set in the Shadow Dragon colors that looked pretty bitching too. That one unique set from the Crows with the golden arms too? AAAHHHH!

Bugs/Tech: Other than characters getting stuck once in a blue moon or Rook being goofy as shit while doing the ol' parkour, I didn't really encounter much on the bugginess side of things. Nothing that was noticeable anyway.

Animation: Bioware finally figured it out after all these decades haha. Love it when characters aren't standing around stiffly like dolls being played with or walking around like they got a giant popsicle stick stuck up their asses.

The endgame was pretty epic. So glad all our companions get roles in the final rush like in Origins and 2. Inquisition completely dropped the ball in that regard (both when you're going after Coryface at the end of the main game, as well as Solas in Trespasser).

Emmrich: Best boy. ALSO HE DATES STRIFE IF YOU DON'T ROMANCE HIM FJDKALFDJAL. GET IT, OLD MEN!

Solas: Still a dumb egg man. Wouldn't have him any other way. Glad he's gone lmao.

Dorian: Still serving cunt and outlasted Solas. Stay winning, King Archon.

The Bad:

Varric: What a complete waste of time lmao. I honestly wasn't super hype about him being in another DA game (outside of him serving DILF looks, which WOOF GOTDAMN), and what they wound up doing with his character was dumb as shit. It was the Hawke vs Warden decision all over again from Inquisition where the story is Telling me to give a shit about these characters, but not Showing me a reason for my Inquisitor to care much about who they pick to stay in the Fade. If we'd gotten to see Rook adventure with Varric more at the beginning of the game, this whole mentor dying routine would have hit harder. Writers shat the bed and rolled in it.

Romance: So I'm going to have to look up a video online of how the other romances play out, but the Lucanis one was...disappointing. Had a really good start with the almost kiss scene, but then there was no follow up for that. Why doesn't he want to kiss Rook in that moment? Why isn't he physically affectionate with them at all until near endgame?? Meta-wise, I can take a guess, but the point of a story is to...tell it. I've heard Kirby isn't big on writing romances, so...idk, did that have something to do with it? Was it not fully written before she was fired? It straight up feels incomplete! I've heard from looking online that he even keeps flirting with Neve even when you're locked into a romance with him. Like...HUH?

Cont'd: Even outside of romances, it seemed like he just didn't have much more going on outside of his main storyline. Davrin, Bellara, Taash, and Lace all invite you out multiple times for one-on-one time (even get to go to the garden in the Necropolis with Emmrich, which was super cool), but Lucanis just...doesn't have that. Neve also seemed to be lacking a little in that regard too. Is it simply because they have parts of their stories as part of the main questline or what?

Cont'd 2: Also hilarious that if you harden Lucanis, he refuses to get involved with Rook, even a Shadow Dragon one that has reason to save Minrathous over Treviso, but he's happy to get into a relationship with Neve, who was also not there to help at Treviso haha. RIP to y'all that made that mistake on your Lucanis runs.

Music: Forgettable. I think the only track I truly liked was the ambient music for the Hossberg Wetlands (goddamn does that shit set the tone for that area) and maybe some of the boss fight songs. Hans Zimmer and Lorne Balfe, you dun goofed. It's telling when the only times I perked up at the sound of the music was when it was an Inquisition track, which had an absolutely baller line-up of songs. I wish they'd have gotten Inon Zur or Trevor Morris to return for Veilguard. Or, I don't know, poked Zimmer with a cattle prod or something to wake him up, since I know that bitch can make some amazing music (no idea what Balfe is usually capable of).

Animation: When it's good, it's REALLY good, but then you randomly get scenes where the characters are just standing around looking at each other lmao. Like in one of the Lucanis romance-y scenes during their second coffee date, he just stands next to Rook and makes weird faces at them. Like damn dude, clearly someone didn't get paid to animate that day.

Davrin can die what the fuck. I'm guessing it's Lace if you pick her to lead the other group? UGH THE WORST! ASSAN EVEN GOES DOWN WITH HIM??? T A T At least his death felt worthy, unlike fucking Varric getting prison shanked by Solas within the first hour or two of playing.

Y'all really couldn't think of a better way to sell Varric being around and Rook not knowing? Good lawrd, embarrassing. Look what they did to my boy. I'm gonna be a salty bitch about Varric's treatment for years to come. Was really holding out for Inquisition!Varric being a fluke.

While I did like that the companions weren't at each other's throats in dumb ways, yeah, they probably could have used a bit more bite. Or like...have their problems with each other not be solved within one cutscene.

Taash's storyline is probably still my least favorite since the queer side of it is too formulaic and felt clunky now and then. Can see those story beats coming from a mile away. Was honestly more interested in their struggle with their qunari and rivaini backgrounds.

Lace also seemed to suffer a bit with a predictable storyline, but that may be because I'm also like her and struggle to accept needing help and not always being okay and putting on a front to not bother others bahaha.

Can't believe we only got to visit Kal-Sharok once jfdksalfda.

Casual clothes: Would have been nice to have more options. And also just to have them organized a bit better so it's easier to check through what will and will not cause clipping issues and whatnot haha.

Shadow Dragons: Hilarious that a group that's trying to be an underground rebel force all color code their outfits lmao.

The Kal-Sharok armor. GOD! It's so bad!

Can't believe I had to choose between Manfred and Lichdom. Ugh so rude. Hardest choice in the whole game.

Overall:

Even with my complaints, I still had a great time and definitely want to playthrough Veilguard more, and likely will once I've had a break from Dragon Age for a while. I got a fanfiction (not related) to finish writing, podcasts to catch up on, and doll stuff to get to. I also have that playthrough of DA2 to finish as well that I put on pause to get Inquisition done with before Veilguard released.

I do really hope Dragon Age will continue (considering the after-credits scene, it definitely seems like they're interested in continuing the series) since I still absolutely love this world Bioware has created and added to over the years, even if the stories don't always pan out how I'd hoped (sometimes due to EA and Bioware's management being dumb as bricks).

Honestly, me being "meh" about a Dragon Age main quest is pretty normal for me lmao. DA2 was the only game I enjoyed the story for from beginning to end, and I think a lot of that is because it isn't a story about gathering followers to fight against a big bad and save the world, but instead about a group of assholes out for themselves that find a family in each other and are just trying to live out their lives one day at a time.

Considering the after-credits scene, I imagine we won't be getting another story like DA2 anytime soon from Bioware, which is disappointing, but hardly surprising. Most people tend to want the big epics over the more zoomed in stories.