#Jon matteson character family tree

[eli-am-confused]

Something, something, disaster gay president that falls in love with every man he meets.

Bonus: Howie having a drink with some cousins to vent. It’s only somewhat helpful.

Howie: I’m gonna die alone!

Paul: Howie, of course you’re not.

Bailey: No he totally is! Bartender two more rounds of shots!

If you can’t read the pictures it’s under the cut.

First picture:

Vice President Bob Morris is saying something very important.

President Howard Goodman stopped listening as soon as Morris’ blazer came off (he totally wears one but takes it off during long meetings)

Second picture:

General John MacNamara: I need you to listen very carefully mister president

Unfortunately President Howard Goodman is not paying attention anymore

Third picture:

Xander Lee is explaining some sciencey shit with the portal

Poor President Howard Goodman doesn’t understand a single word he’s saying

Fourth picture:

Wilbur Cross, knowing exactly what he’s doing: Hey Howie~

Fifth picture:

President Howard Goodman, the gayest disaster to ever be elected as America’s president: Oh no, he’s hot!

[lilacthebooklover]

jon matteson characters family reunion. richie is ignoring everyone and blasting japanese nightcore on his airpods. roman is here and acting disgusted at the food while linda boasts about her kids (said kids are currently causing mayhem that will probably end in tears). paul has brought emma with him and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. boy jerry is trying to give him a pep talk on how to propose so he can "do the do" with emma (bj recommends a walk in the woods). the hatchetman bursts in at one point. daniel lost track of time and decided it wasn't worth showing up. gary is happy to be a part of something like he was with the wiggly cult but nobody likes him. wiggly watches for a while then shows up in human form to cause more mayhem, nobody knows who he is, why he looks like them or why he speaks like a toddler but he's freaky and may or may not be on the verge of murder. fun times.

[acutemushroom]

My version of the "Jon Matteson's characters are related" family tree

Sorry for the bad image quality, I tried to keep every character the same size without making the page too big

I know the popular headcannon wants Gary to be the father of the twins, but the surnames didn't match. So, to keep it coherent with the ages, I placed him as Paul's cousin on the tree. The twin's father not being Gary, then, I assumed he would be Paul's brother-in-law. Making him Richie's uncle from the maternal side.

As for Boy Jerry, there was nothing saying he had to be Paul's brother, but there was also nothing saying he couldn't. So, yeah, little Jerri is also Paul's nephew.

[littlemisscreator]

I'm fine with the Jon Matteson Family Tree but. They would NOT be that loving to each other sorry.

[rockrosethistle]

I've been trying to figure out Jon Matteson Character Family Tree theory

after all of my limited research, here's what I've come up with:

Wallace is using his military powers to keep Lumberaxe hidden.

Richie is unhelpful to this cause and once told Pete "did you know my second cousin is the hatchetfield axe man."

'Uncle Paul' drives Gary's kids to school. One day they got in the car and there was a whole seven year old child back there also calling him 'Uncle Paul.'

Also Paul's been offering the kids money in exchange for dirt on Ted.

Gary knows one of his kids likes anime and the other likes superheroes but he can't really tell the difference. Paul has seen one episode of sailor moon and thinks he knows everything ("who do you kin? Who do you ship? You know who I kin? ... you.")

Gary also went out of his way to join the Wiggly cult because he knew it would piss off Jerry.

Daniel is surprisingly close with his cousin Wallace. It turns out having psychic abilities can be really useful to the Secretary of Defence.

Also Daniels been buying a lot of stuff recently with money that came from...the 'stock market.' He got himself some new roller blades and got Richie some anime pillows. Gary pretends not to notice but already is writing up a case for Daniel incase he gets in trouble.

Aunt Emma has secretly been buying Richie blue hair dye for like a year. Gary has no idea where it's all coming from, but he keeps finding the empty boxes and Richie's been wearing a lot of hats recently.

(Which really confuses him because he never told Richie he couldn't dye his hair.)

[tht1guys]

I totally get why some people don't like the whole Jon Matteson family tree idea when it comes to Paul, cause he is like the resident normal guy of hatchetfield and he would be the last person to have this massive chaotic family. But I feel like that just makes the whole thing even funnier.

Like, resident normal guy happens to be related to that weird camp counselor (jerry) , one of the best (or only if you like that idea) lawyers in hatchetfield (gary), the fucking secretary of defense to the PRESIDENT. Its even more hilarious if you make Linda Monroe of all people somehow related to him through roman. The guy who you expect to be an only child has a distant older or younger sibling who had twins who he now takes care of (richie and trevor) and maybe another kid with superpowers (daniel).

Paul Matthews is the last person you would expect to be related to all these people, and yet somehow he is. Through the odds he somehow manages to be the most normal person you could ever meet while simultaneously having the most chaotic family ever. Not to mention how these eldritch gods have some sort of attachment to him to the point one of them made him the main character of a musical.

[kairithemang0]

I hate the Jon Matteson family tree. I’m fine with Paul being Richie’s uncle but when people add all but when people add in all the other Jon characters I just tap out

[vilnmelling]

I found an ancestor, guys

So we know about the Jon Matteson family tree (Paul = Richie's uncle, and all of the various headcanons about the other characters Jon plays), but I think Sniper from Newsies might be some ancestor

[affo-gatto-gateau]

Okay but what if we took the Jon Matteson character family tree further and every character of him was actually just a clone of him. Richie and Trevor? Clones just in their early stages of development. All of them. They're all clones.

[royall-ass]

hi! I saw your name a character reblog and I was wondering if you could do wiggly, I saw someone else did Richie and they're my two blorbos ty!

YES WIGGLY RHHAGS

Favorite Thing: i LOVE how he has his little weird ass baby voice he does, but his real voice like demonic and shit?? Idk you can hear it super well in the cast recording of made in america when he says “you!!” and i think it’s also “we dont give a shit about ur phone!!” LORD ITS SO COOL TO ME

Least Favorite Thing: Jon was low key scary as him in npmd. i think it was just the bright green eyebrows and his bright blue eyes but i almost pissed my pants on the SPOT!!!

brOTP: uhh idk I like his dynamic with Pokey as the older brothers in my eyes :3 they’re so silly

OTP: ummm nothing?? i dont ship any of the lords rlly

nOTP: wiggly x any of his siblings,,,, noo,,,,

Random Headcanon: Ik some ppl dont like ALL the jon matteson characters being related but this is super funny to me 😭😭 the idea of the jon matteson family tree characters but wiggly’s not apart of the family, he’s a god they all worship. Or I’ve seen one where he was like Zeus and used to fuck around with humans (NOT MINORS THO 😭) so hes like a suuuuuper old ancestor.

Song I Associate With Them: Heh,,,, the hit song Made In America,,,,

My Favorite Photo: THIS ONE!!! he looks so silly and sad here 😭😭

EVERYONE SEND ME MORE 👿👿👿

[honeyspawn]

Listen, as cute and funny the whole "Jon Matteson's characters are related thing" is, can we please leave Roman out of the family tree? Linda and Gary being related is so cursed.

[eli-am-confused]

Family gatherings can get real hectic real fast with this family.

On my post about Curt Mega characters should be a part of the Jon Matteson character family tree @mistoelectra (sorry for the @) brought up Papa Ed and Peanuts and I really wanted to draw them.

Bonus: Papa Ed and Peanuts hanging out after they got home.

Honestly when looking at pictures of Papa Ed all I can imagine is that Peanuts is like his emotional support squirrel. He’s a proud squirrel dad guys.

If you can’t read my handwriting it’s under the cut.

First image:

Eddie Chiplucky: Little Ed! I heard you’re a dad now!

President Howard Goodman: wait really? Where is he? I wanna meet him.

Eddie: I didn’t even know you got with someone!

Howie: Me either!

Proud Papa Ed: guys, he’s a squirrel.

Eddie and Howie: What!?

Ed: Paul’s got ‘im right now.

Second image:

Richie: blah blah blah blah… (y’all get it)

Paul is clearly not holding a squirrel

Third image:

Paul: I suddenly feel like I’m in a lot of danger.

Fourth image:

Proud Papa Ed: Finally some peace and quiet. Let’s go home Peanuts.

Fifth Image:

No text just Ed and Peanuts hanging out.

[thearcanecat]

Here is my take on the Jon Matteson character family tree! Under the cut because it got very long. I spent way too long on this. Random headcannons I came up with below.

Jon’s Nighthawk is not actually related because he is a bird, but he always shits on Carl Metzger. Louie always said it was good luck to to make his brother feel better about it.

Bob’s first two children were taken by Blinky, so now he keeps a very close eye on the rest.

Bob is long-lived because of the magic in the Witchwood. (I was trying to get him to be around the same age as Emma’s great grandfather. If I did ages I could make it work but the generations messed me up.)

Everyone in Hatchetfield hates Carl Mason for no reason. They refuse to listen to his broadcasts, which led to more people getting hurt on Black Friday.

Wallace always has to field questions about his brother, who is not a great man. The Northville Actor’s wife left him and took Trevor back to Hatchetfield. Sidenote: If anyone has the link to the primary source of the Secretary of Defense’s name, please let me know or add it to the wiki.

[acutemushroom]

My " 'Jon's characters are related' tree" corrected

So....upon first posting it, I've realized that I've forgotten Roman and Wiggly. But that's not all, I can do better. Yesterday, I've realized that I also forgot Daniel/Stopwatch... So, here is a corrected version of the family tree. Though, I still deliberately did not include Wiggly and cie. for my sanity's sake. I could have added the Emma and her family to the tree, but since her and Paul don't have children together, let alone children played by Jon, I chose otherwise.

So... here is some explanation on how I connected the Murray and Monroe families the the Matthews one :

Again, Roman doesn't share the same surname. And Roman being the leader of Nibbly's cult, I wouldn't be surprised (and HC) that he is much older than he looks like. Probably around Sheila's age actually... So, it's through his sister that he is connected to Paul ! But again, the ages wouldn't have fitted that well if he was his great-uncle. So, I went down a generation below. Roman's niece is actually the Matthews' matriarch, Paul's grandmother.

Which makes Linda Paul's second (degree) cousin, despite them being around the same age. I partially explain that by the fact that, at least in my HC, her mother was something around 30 years younger than Roman (yeah, yikes) .

In the same order of ideas, her children are Paul's father's cousins, his first cousins then, despite them being younger than most of Richie's generation. In fact, I don't think Trent is much older than little Jerri... Talking about them, I know Gerald isn't the biological father of at least half of Linda's children. But because we don't know who their fathers actually are and that Gerald's name most probably is on the birth certificate, I am going to put them as his children. Not that it changes anything for the sake of relating each of Jon's characters.

Stopwatch is Gary's son. No real reason if why not ?

Also, here's some HCs about the dynamics in the family !

The twins know for Daniel's power, but not for the fighting ring. Richie's been so overexcited to learn that, that Daniel feared he would spill the beans. Thankfully, he didn't. Under oath not to. All the family think Daniel has martial art classes, only his father knows the truth about the fights.

Daniel calls Paul and his siblings uncle and aunt. Jerry did try to break him out of the habit, he's their first cousin not their nephew. But it just made it worst. Now, Jerry is suspecting Gary to bribe his son to purposefully call him that just to piss him off.

Girl Jeri knows that Jerry has nephews and a first cousin. But not at first ! When she saw them for the first time, walking pass them on the street, she legit stopped in her track and searched for a solid minute why they looked so similar to Jerry. He had to clarify why later.

All the men are made from the same mold in the family ! No seriously. If Little Jerri had actually been raised by his parents, instead of being left in the woods as a baby, he'd look like his father's exact copy.

When Paul brought Emma to a family reunion for the first time, she did make a joke/comment on the fact they all look like clones. Which was particularly hilarious in the "Forever an always" timeline...

Linda has no idea that she is related to the Matthews.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

I do not get the hype about Richie. I forget about his existence most of the time. Why is he more hyped than Ruth?? I know y’all are gonna say misogyny and that might be true to an extent but he’s barely in the show and not nearly as developed as a character compared to the other nerds. Richie fans tell me what you like about him WITHOUT bringing up ships, blue hair, or the Jon Matteson family tree 🌲

~~~

[rockrosethistle]

Revised Jon Matteson Character Family Tree

*Clones are not human and therefore not included* *Wiggly is also not human but likes to show up and torment the rest of them every now and then* *Roman and Carl have families in canon and therefore are not included* (also we all decided Linda and Gary boned so we can't include Roman because we can't have both)

Everyone has different last names because we respect our mothers in this family, goddamit...

no one has heard from Paul and Gary's brother since he got a job down at Watcher World.