#I will say though the cookie was like fucking cement and to my surprise did not come up the easiest

[psilocybn]

pu/rging stuff from ur friends feels kinda sad. my friend bought me a crumbl cookie this weekend and usually I can be normal enough about something like this bc I will eat a dessert in small increments over the coarse of time and just freeze whatever I don’t finish, but no. I ate a little bit of it over the weekend but then today I just came home and ate it and immediately started losing it and threw it up. it kinda felt good to do it. honestly I kinda knew even before I ate it that I was already going to throw it up after. I’ve had an emotional week and I can’t tell you why but sometimes p/urging feels like just what I needed in days like this one. I know I should stop and I don’t do it everyday but I can’t help but want to. it’s not even about the food I’m eating or like saving “unsafe” food specifically to p/urge, it’s just about the act itself.

[radi0activec0smos]

part 2 to that doodle spam post which I absolutely could've done as a reblog but like. cmon. why would I do that. do I look like someone who uses logic to you? /hj

(once again under a read more cuz I don't want to like take up massive chunks of space)

First of all THESE two doodles I didn't get to fit into the og post - surprise bitches, im also a cookie runner (though I'm not really that active, even less so in the fandom, so, like. do with that as you will). also yes I got infected with the "give blorbos pointy ears" disease and it's exactly one friend's fault /pos

And now: style change :3 @starlightlamplighter mildly encouraged me to share the doodles I did in their style so bestie here's also your time to shine

and of course we start with gay people real because why not

iirc THIS doodle with Mur and @starlightlamplighter's Ryuva was what really sent me properly into cementing her style into my styleset as well :] (I still remember when she ended up encouraging me to use it more often and I have to say it's REALLY fun to use)

Okay, context behind these four: I massively headcanon that Wounded Warrior (who I refer to as Mur or Murtagh) may have defected from Eden/wherever the fuck Resh's army may have been situated or whatever and rejoined the war effort on Tsadi's side, mainly because of the symbol on their chestplate and the fact that there's the sun shield in their memory. These doodles are set both during their time in Eden and during their escape.

And to top it all off, more gay people (which is actually from this month!)

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby

Day Five: Anyone Can Change A Tire, Right? 

Warnings: Bad Language Words, Hint of Smut. 

Pairing: Ransom x Reader

A/N: We are having so much fun giving Ransom everyday tasks. 🤣 The poor Man Child is really hopeless, but he is giving it his best effort. Just wait till you all see what else @what-is-your-plan-today​, @jennmurawski13​ and I have planned for you all. 

Happy Reading! 

Series Masterlist

“Ransom, I'm running to the store. Do you need anything not on my list?” You call out while you're grabbing the keys off the hook near the door, when Ransom pops from around the corner having heard his name. 

“Yea, cookies. I'm all out.” He said, wiping his hand dry on a dish towel, just finishing up with cleaning up from a light lunch you had made the two of you earlier. 

You narrow your eyes at him, knowing exactly what he wanted, the sweet buttery cookies of his that was your man's sweet tooth addiction, Biscoff. “You are sure we don't have any in the pantry Ransom? Because I swore I ordered some just last week off Amazon.” 

“Yea, last week Y/N. That was days ago, those are gone.” he tossed the towel over his shoulder, hands falling to hips as his brows shot up at the absurdity of your statement. Last week, cookies never lasted that long with him.”I'm sure it's like… I'm experiencing sympathy pregnancy cravings.”  

You looked at him like he was being ridiculous, which he was. “Sympathy pregnancy cravings? Bullshit, you just never been told no. Fine fine, you're like a damn dog with a bone for those things.” You shake your head while heading to the garage muttering to yourself ‘Pregnancy symptoms my ass, why couldn't he have had morning sickness like I did.” 

“Like a dog with those and you Princess.” He retorts with a smirk when you look over your shoulder at him, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and you close the door with a loud snap just so he knew what you thought of that, which he chuckled a bit knowing he had gotten under your skin with his teasing. 

Ransom was thinking to himself what a job well done, he managed to get the kitchen looking halfway decent and got you riled up a bit when he heard the soles of your shoes against the linoleum behind you. Turning, he smirked at you, cocky as ever. “Change of heart? Gonna let me go all ‘dog with a bone’ on you?” He lewdly suggested with a twist of your earlier words on you when you shook your head. 

“First, hell no. Talk about mood killer Ransom, and secondly my car has a flat. Let me have the Beamers keys.” 

His entire demeanor shifted when he heard that, the teasing playboy attitude dropped. “What do you mean a flat tire? Was it flat last night?” 

You shrugged and held out your hand, waiting. “I don't know, I will set up someone to come out and change the tire. But I do gotta go Ransom, our friends are coming over and the store made me a platter that they are expecting me to pick up within the next hour. Can I have the keys, please?” You added an emphasis on the please, wiggling your fingers. “I promise to take utmost care of her, not a scratch.” 

“Why? I can take care of it right now.” Feeling extra confident now, he hung up the towel that was over his shoulder and pulled out his phone. “Just youtube it, how hard can it be?” 

“Ransom, have you ever even changed a tire?” you set your bag down, looking doubtful that something like that could be learned so quickly on youtube, in which he shrugged. 

“People do it all the time.” He settled at the counter to watch the video, while you peeked over his shoulder. 

“You just don't want me driving the Beamer.” You poke at his side, making him hiss and shaking you off. 

“No, I can just have you in your car soon enough. Besides, there isn't really any space in the Beamer for groceries.” He bluffed, and you waved a hand at him while leaving the room. 

“Sure there isn't, let me know when it's all set Ransom.” You laughed, heading towards the back of the house, wondering how soon he was going to give in. 

Ransom was sure to change his clothes and headed out to the garage. His beloved Beamer on one side and then your piece of shit car that he had been begging to get rid of. You though seemed attached to the Subaru and was loath to trade it for something new. Like the Mercedes Benz GLS-Class that he had his eye on. Walking around, he found the flat, and inspected it. The tire seemed to have picked up a nail somewhere. The garage he had fully equipped once he moved in, at the time just so he could show it off to his drinking friends what he had and they didn't. But now it would prove to be useful, he could just hear his mother now. “Just call someone.” 

Well fuck it, he could take care of his family, and rolling his sleeves up muscular forearms, he was ready to prove it. 

It was a good hour later when you went to the kitchen to grab a snack from the refridgerator, and with your hand in the pickle jar, you heard Ransom clang something against the cement floor followed by “Son of a fucking cunt whore.” 

He was pissed. 

You ease the door open to see him with the car half jacked up, the wheel off and bouncing down the length of the garage, with Ransom trying to chase after it. 

“Ransom are you okay?” You ask when it bounces off the bay door and spins to a final stop. Huffing, Ransom grabs it and rolls it back to the car. His arms are streaked black and there's dirt all over his face. The only thing that looks clean are his bright blue eyes at this moment. 

“Fine, peachy, fucking fan-god damn- tastic.” he says sarcastically, and then the tire accidentally bumps into the stool, and on that stool is all the tires lug nuts, scattering them across the garage floor. 

“You vicious little bitch.” He mutters while dropping the tire to its side, looking at the mess made. You take your chances and approach him, biting your lip. Maybe this wasn't the best moment, but those pregnancy hormones had kicked in seeing him do such a filthy job. His hair was sweaty and spiked where he must have ran his hands through it several times, his tee shirt clung to him just right to outline some of the muscles, and sweat streaked down his back. 

Hell you didn't know if you have ever been so fucking turned on in your life, but you weren't about to miss out on it because your husband was getting pissed at a tire. Grabbing the back of his shirt, you caught his attention enough to turn. He was clueless at the moment, but you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to meet you, lacing your tongue over his lips till he opened to you in a surprised grunt. 

When his head jerked back, he looked down at you in shock. “What the?” 

“Ransom your so fucking hot right now, and I want you.” You stunned him again and your hand tugged at the hair at the base of his neck. “You going to keep me waiting, Ran?” 

“Oh fuck no… “He pulled you back in close and you two shared another dirty aching kiss, backing up till Ransoms back hit the car, making the car wobble unsteady and the jack holding the car up collapsed. The crash made you two spring apart, both with a scream as you both backed away from the car in shock. 

You two looked at each other and you loosened your hold clutching Ransom’s shirt in fright and shock. 

“Ransom, will you let me now call someone, please?” You breathed out in a rush, your heart still pounding as you glanced up at him and he tried to compose himself, but you could see that he was still shook up. 

“You know what… Good idea. How about I drive you to the store in the Beamer instead? Let me just go get cleaned up.” 

“Wait!” You stop him, running your hands up his chest and biting your lip. “Before you do…” You drifted off, your eyes shining a bit more and Ransom arched a brow, the previous fright starting to fade. 

“This is doing something for you Princess?” He scoffed a bit, gripping your hips, letting his fingers dig slightly into the curve while pulling you closer so your bump pressed lightly into his stomach. “What happened to ‘I gotta be there asap Ransom, I can't leave them waiting.’ ?” 

You shrugged, tugging on his dirty tee shirt. “I have never seen this side of you Ransom, and I already called the store, they know we are going to be late.” 

“Well if that's the case.” Ransom got a devilish look and snapped a hand against your ass. “Let’s go pretend we're putting another baby in you.” The two of you heading back into the house, tugging at one another's clothing.

[prose-for-hire]

The Devil’s in the details

Pairing: Spike x reader

Request: “Satanism for dummies? Interesting choice in books...anything you want to tell me?" And Fluff With spike

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Reader is a killer. They kill a person. For the Devil. Kidnap. Big blood mention. Mention of hiding a body.

A/N: Okay. So it’s not fluffy but I’ve injected some cuddling with Spike into it cos I got carried away with the plot. Hope this is okay anon - I got carried away. I can write you something fluffier (after Halloween) if you want to drop another request... Happy Halloween month !!

It was that time of year again. The yearly struggle where you had to offer a sacrifice to the Dark Lord again to ensure he kept his end of the bargain. Halloween night was circled and underlined in your calendar in thick red pen. Blood red. A coincidence, of course. You sighed, planning out this year’s would be tricky.

You had your boyfriend to think about and people knew you in Sunnydale now, it was hard to keep under the radar. You were practiced in what you needed to do, knowing there was no other way around it. As far as Spike was concerned, you were a sweetheart. A pure, innocent person who wouldn’t so much as look at someone the wrong way.

He was convinced you had never said a swear word and he was equally convinced you would turn to dust if you even attempted it. As far as he was aware, you knew nothing of demons or vampires or anything other than your pleasant life. And this is how you wanted it to stay.

However, Spike had long been trying to find a way to tell you about the supernatural. The Hellmouth. He didn’t want to scare you off, so he had been lying or more avoiding the truth. He wanted to tell you this year though, before Halloween.

You loved him but there were certain things that you would rather he didn’t know about you. For now at least. Especially the fact that you already knew he was a vampire. You smiled at him softly, leaning in and kissing his cheek – a greeting you always gave. He loved it, it was as if he was a husband returning home. He felt cherished by your affection. You never shied away, you wanted him to feel loved. Always.

“Can’t believe it’s been two years and I’ve never so much as had an invitation before, love”

“We did agree Spike – you have your space and I have mine”

“Yeah, but all your crap is in my space” he raised his voice an octave higher to cement his point, “Most men would have left over it, y’know” he added, pointing at you for emphasis.

“Then I’m very lucky to have such an understanding and kind boyfriend” You smiled, squeezing his hand before letting go, “God, your hands are always so cold”

“It’s my condition, love. Anaemia – always, uh, makes me cold” he muttered, not convincing anyone. But you just nodded along, smiling.

Spike had always meant to tell you but had never found the time. Besides, you had your own secrets (he wasn’t stupid he just didn’t suspect the truth) so he didn’t feel so bad about lying. Most of the time.

It was finally Halloween. You knew the drill. Spike would stay in and you would go where you were directed. You woke up to the same mysterious name written on a piece of paper you always did. It was the kind that would combust when you fulfilled your end of the bargain.

You walked up to the bar to order your drink, reading the nametag and smiling. This was getting easier every year. It almost made it difficult to feel the guilt anymore. You spent your evening talking to him, waiting until his break before you managed to subdue him and bring him back to your apartment. Usually, hitting them over the head and dragging them into the boot of your car seemed to work. Your neighbours were usually out and if anyone stopped you, you explained it was an elaborate costume. 

You were sat watching a gory horror film with the volume up high as you waiting for your new bartender friend to wake up from his little nap. He was propped up on the couch beside you. You had zip tied his hands and feet but you weren’t so cruel that you would cover his mouth. 

He finally started to come around as the humorous film started to get good. You shrugged, you were sure you could rent it for some light-hearted entertainment another day. They never quite got it right anyway. The blood was never the right colour.

He opened his eyes and started to yell. You hushed him and helped him regulate his breathing until he calmed down. When he eventually calmed down you explained the situation calmly, “So, listen, you’re gonna die tonight. But it’s for a really good reason so, at least there’s that” You nod along with yourself, smiling sweetly as his eyes widened in horror, “Okay I have to do a little ritual now that you’re awake just uh, stay still”

You got up, switching off the tv and lighting the red candles that had already been arranged in a circle on your coffee table. An ornate knife was in the middle of the circle. You closed your eyes, chanting some well-practiced verses. You motioned your arms slowly and you felt the warmth in the room dial up. The familiar crackle of flames started to sound around you.

You took the knife from the centre and awkwardly helped the man up, before slicing the blade across his throat. The liquid oozes from his wound and he started to sink to his knees, his blood splattering everywhere.

“Fuck, not on the rug!” You looked horrified, “What is wrong with you?! Over the chalice!” you hissed as if it was the poor man’s fault. You grabbed the chalice and held it under his neck, trying to 

The man slowly lost his life as you took the most important part for yourself. His blood. You sighed, rolling your eyes at his crumpled form as his blood soaked into your now ruined rug.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on your door. Shit. 

You slip your clothes off and grab the nearest items of fresh clothes so you could go to the door. In your haste, you almost slip on the pooling blood as you make your way to the door.

“What?!” you shouted, scowling at the visitor before you realised who it was, “Oh, Spike! Hi. It’s Halloween… you said you stay in on Halloween in case of the cute kids wanting candy”

“I said that-?” He questioned, before he caught a distinct smell of something he knew well. His stomach rumbled to confirm his suspicions, “What’s going on? I can smell-”

“Smell what?” You ask innocently. He squinted, before shrugging. It must be a different apartment in the block.

“Uh, nothing, can I come in?”

“I’m actually pretty busy… I’m, uh, I’m… baking” You said. Nobody, especially not yourself, was convinced by that excuse. But Spike just smiled slightly and nodded before asking once more, “Look, I need to come in. It’s… important. I gotta tell you somethin’ or my damned head will explode” he gestured at his head as he shook it, “Can I come in?” he pressed once more.

“Uh…” You look at the mess behind you that you’re concealing from his view by the door, “Just… give me time to clean the place up. I’ll be… 10 minutes” You muttered, slamming the door in his face and putting the lock on – just in case.

You clean the best you can, using so much bleach you were worried you would pass out. You sigh. Every year you tell yourself to put plastic sheeting down and every year you forget and end up ruining an item of furniture you were fond of. That was the real sacrifice you had to make, you sighed again as you rolled the poor man up in the rug and pulled him away. You found him a spot to rest in your tub. Hopefully Spike wouldn’t pick today to use the bathroom. The rug and the bleach all thrown in there too.

The blood now up the best it could be, you manage to find a roll of cookie dough to put in the oven. You sweep all of your occult stuff into a box and hid it under your bed and cram the rest into the cupboards. 

You had been twenty five minutes, but hoped Spike just presumed that you were house proud.

“I like your place, pet. Spotless” he said perusing the area. He smiled, it smelled of you and… cleaning products. Bleach. Oh, and cookies he smiled. He hoped that you would let him have some later on.

They say love is blind, and Spike was completely head over heels in love with you. So much so, he could only note the smell of cookie dough and you and didn’t think to question the smell of the blood that had been thinly masked by bleach.

He then eyed something on the coffee table that you had set down during the heavy-duty cleaning, “Satanism for dummies? Interesting choice in books...anything you want to tell me?" He joked, a slight smile as he started to flip through it. You grinned back, trying to conceal the fact that you were wiping beads of sweat from your brow when he looked up by scratching your scalp.

“It’s for Halloween – they were handing them out at the… mall”

“Uh, sit down pet” he said, sitting down in the same spot your previous guest had, “I need to… there’s somethin’ I need to say” he started to explain. He had chosen now to reveal who he really was. The fact that he was a vampire. He insisted he loved you and that it wouldn’t change anything between you.

You gasp, perhaps over exaggeratedly but you were actually surprised that he would choose now to tell you. You of course knew about demons and you were unsure if he was telling you this so he could take a bite from the body in your bathroom tub.

“I mean it – I’m… a vampire” He showed you his game face, taking your shock for disbelief. You cup his cheek gently, insisting this would never make a difference. You traced your thumb over his features and he closed his eyes at your touch.

“I will always love you. No matter what” You insisted, leaving a chaste kiss against his lips. He nodded slowly, smiling at your insistence. You caressed him softly, hoping he could feel the sincerity of your actions. You honestly weren’t scared of him. Or repulsed. You felt so deeply for him. You held him close to you as he flipped on the tv. You both settled into the sofa, stroking through his hair softly as he closed his eyes and leaned into you. You kissed his temple and whispered your continued affirmations. That you would never leave him. That you could never stop loving him.

You heard something and cast an eye to the kitchen, which you could see from your living space. The familiar figure you met every Halloween was there. The Devil.

You smiled, winking at the Devil as he took his offering as if he were Santa sneaking in on Christmas night. He smirked, drinking from the cup and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He clapped his hands and left which you caught from your peripheral vision.

You smiled warmly. It was all worth it. You were satisfied as you snuggled into Spike’s now open arms, you would keep the love of an immortal for another year at least.

[stvlti]

2020 Creator Wrap

I was tagged by @irolltwenties to do the 2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works tag! Thank you, lovely (*˘ ε ˘*)

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Before I begin, let me just tag some friends:

@reaperlight @3dnygma @drowthelynes @transdankovsky @fantomn @lawliyeeeet @dressed-to-keehl @setfa @0akdown @reidsnor @clubolive @mermaides

No pressure, but it would be fun if you guys share some of your works this year ( ˘︶˘ ) let’s see those fics and edits and artworks!! Get the clicks and views y’all deserve 💕 💕

And now, onwards to my 2020 Favorite Works List!

I didn’t write nearly as much as some of you guys did. And though I did exceed my goal of putting out 1 fic per month, I don’t have 5 solid ones I’m proud of. So I’ll just list 4 fics here:

01 // Growing Pains

I’ve always been very nervous about reccing this one, because it broaches a topic that I don’t really have a right to claim? I’m not transgender myself, but I simply adore the trans Dick Grayson headcanon so much it singlehandedly brought me back to the DC fandom and restarted my fanfic-writing habit for 2020 😂😂 plus the writing quality isn’t half bad, and I still really like the idea/metaphor this little story started with and grew from. 

Fave moment (besides the obvious):

"Ka-Pow!!" The boy ventriloquised. Lego Robin sailed through the air in his fingers. One stubby, outstretched leg made contact with a Lego henchman, knocking all the surrounding baddies over like bowling pins. "Sorry Mr. Bad Guys, guess it's way past your bedtime too!"

"Good job, Robin." The boy lowered his prepubescent voice and tried to affect Batman's gravelly timbre as much as possible. In his other hand, he walked Lego Batman across the floor of the crime scene. "How about we round them up and leave it for the Commish? It's getting quite late."

"Oh oh! Can I have cookies on the ride back?"

The boy swivelled Lego Batman's grinning face around. "I don't see why not."

Another night out in Lego Gotham City, another day saved by the Dynamic Duo. This called for a celebration indeed. The boy set the pair of heroes down by the Lego Batmobile and reached over to his own plate of Alfred's after-school chocolate chip cookies. He took his sweet time with the last piece, savouring each bite, sighing at the way it melted on his tongue.

02 // Transference 

This is my best-performing fic in terms of the kudos to hits ratio, so I feel validated in being proud of this one :’) It’s a pretty good marker of the distances I’ve covered since getting serious about reading the comic source material end of 2019, as you can see from the much broader and varied cast of characters I focused on for this story. It also definitely cemented - to me, at least - the fact that I can write action scenes. When I went into “Second Chances” (a fem Jay fic) earlier this year, I was so nervous about writing the action sequence there, because I’ve never written a serious action scene up until that point! To me, this fic definitely showcases the growth I’ve experienced as a writer this year ^_^

Fave moment: (CONTAINS SPOILERS, PLEASE READ THE FIC FIRST IF YOU HAVEN’T!)

When the trio return, Ivy takes her place at the meeting table with a severe expression on her face. She chooses her words carefully, when she speaks. "The odds aren't pretty. We just accepted 100 refugees over the weekend, and the Green is still repairing itself after last week's attack."

Rose exchanges a glance with Jason. He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze, though he's not looking any better than she feels.

"But, each and everyone of us stayed behind to defend the Garden, because we all believed in giving a sanctuary for the civilian survivors out there.

"So bring them here. I'll take them in."

No sooner has Ivy finished the sentence, than Zatanna and Constantine have fired up their teleportation portal, and Harley's cheerful "Good luck!" is lost to the mad dash off to the rescue mission. The rest of the Shadowpact scramble after Rose as she launches herself through the portal—

—and slams into Arsenal, pushing him out of the way seconds before a meteoric explosion of green fire incinerates the very spot he'd been standing in.

03 // Paying It Forward

This one is important to me if only for the reason that it’s the first time I’ve written character dialogues that flowed. And I didn’t even need to plan them out meticulously beforehand! Do you know how rare that is for me as an ESL writer? Dialogues have been the bane of my existence since I started writing as a wee teen. Luckily, the Titans TV show has some solid character dynamics for me to fall back on. And from there I started reading NTT era Dick & Donna, and I just fell in love with their friendship. And now, I can turn to this fic as proof I still got it whenever I doubt my abilities as a writer c:

Fave moment:

Dick glanced at her, eyebrows raised. "She ran out on you?"

"No, no, we never really... I don't think it counts as running away if it never led to anything more."

"But you wanted it to be more." Dick paused, taking in Donna's silence, which would've fooled anyone else but him. "You still want it."

"I-- yeah." Donna sighed and held her hands up as if to say you caught me. "I'm... Sorry? For stealing your girl?"

Dick laughed, bemused. "She was never mine. She knew what she wanted, what she needed - and I wasn't in the right place to give her that."

"And you? You think I'm what she needs?"

"Better you than me. You're Donna Troy. Older, smarter, prettier..."

Donna gave him a deadpan stare.

"... And you know who you want to be. She likes that in a partner. I'm still figuring that one out for myself." Dick stretched his arms up and then leaned back into his seat, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared up into the ceiling.

04 // When I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

I’m including this one just to showcase I got the range, babey. And honestly, the fact that I was able to write this fic and actually receive positive reviews for it was a surprise to me too!! This was the first time I ever attempted to write a real darkfic with dead dove subject matters, and I managed to nail the emotional manipulation, somehow ;__; It was a real learning experience too, learnt so much about Catholicism just to write about Dick’s guilt issues in an AU setting nobody asked for 🤡

Fave moment: (dead dove warnings apply)

"Not at all, Richard," Roman said. The boy would come to him, eventually. "Now, it's getting late. If that's all, I'll have Jason fetch your room keys. Seven Hail Mary's before bed, and think about everything we've just discussed. Tomorrow we'll do a proper debriefing."

"I... Okay." For a moment, Dick sounded like he had more to say. Instead, Roman heard a muffled sniffle, one that Dick likely tried to disguise with a hand over his mouth. Silly boy.

"Thank you again, Father," Dick said, after a beat.

"All in a day's work, my child." Roman unlatched the door and stepped out of the booth. He nodded at Dick as the younger man ambled out of the booth after him. "Goodnight now, Richard."

As he set off for the living quarters, Dick called out. "Wait!"

Roman turned around, inclining his head.

"Will you stay?" The candlelight chased shadows away from Dick's face, and for one glorious moment, Roman could see the depth of the desperation shining in Dick's blue eyes.

"Guide me through my prayers. Please."

Roman smiled.

-

Oh did you think I was done? 😂 It did say Favourite Works and not just Favourite Fics, so I gotta include this one on the list too:

05 // 2020 Jason Todd Birthday edit

I said Robin Jason deserves better and I meant it! 👏👏 This edit took me 12 hours and 67 layers ‘cause I made a mistake on like my 8th hour into the editing process o__o but it ended up being my most popular serious graphic edit, so it was worth it. I guess! 

I mean the likes to reblog ratio is still fucked but hey, I broke 1k, which is more than I can say for any of my other edits

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #408

“tied to the rat race  /  a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

[jokerfan99]

Strong Pains, Stronger Bonds (RWBY/RVB) by Necroceph

*RVB Opening Theme*

At the Blue Base

BOOOOOM!!!

Continuing to where we left off, the Blue base is being heavily besieged by the lone Red with nothing but a rocket launcher on her shoulder and the fit of inhuman rage that terrifies even Satan himself. Oh and Church became a ghost again thanks to Caboose acciddently shooting him with Crescent Rose. The continuous bombardment has destroyed 49% of the base. Their rooms are ruined, the weapons storage obliterated and Tucker's stash of monthly magazines buried under a pile of rubble. If Church were still in his body, he would've died of cardiac arrest. Now look at him!

Church: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUCCKK!!! OUR BAAASE!!! Caboose: There there, Church. At least we can camp outside!

BOOOOOOM!!!

Caboose: But first running time! Church: Wait, don't leave my body here! Caboose: Whoops, sorry!

Caboose quickly picks up Church's corpse from the floor and runs straight behind one of the defensive walls followed by Church's ghost where everbody has taken shelter in.

Tucker: HAHAHA! Church is a ghost again. Church: Don't you dare bring that up! What the fuck is wrong with your teammate?! Simmons: I don't know, I've never seen Rose this destructive before. Tucker: Never? What was she like before this? Grif: Sweet, kind, innocent, all those traits of a stereotypical girl. Tucker: Ohoho that's my type of girl. Simmons: Maybe she's here to rescue us. Grif: Rescue? Does this even look like a 'rescue' mission?! It's more like a bombardment! Church: Well I don't care what's she's here for. Stop her or something! Simmons: Like what? Church: I don't know. How you always talk to her.

Grif and Simmons look at each other. Both shrugged before removing themselves out of cover and try to stop her attack.

Grif: HEY YOU DUMB BITCH! Stop shooting or I'll eat all of your cookies! Simmons: And if you don't, I have no choice but to report Sarge about your reckless behaviour!

The angry Red responded not with words but with more barrages of rockets. The Red duo quickly duck back to cover before the bombs blow up in impact nearby.

Grif: *breath in an out* That was close! Simmons: Okay, she's far beyond our control now. Church: Ugh! We can't just stay here all day until the whole base turns to rubble! Tucker: Hey wasn't Caboose suppose to shoot her? Church: He was until the numbskull shot me, AGAIN! Caboose: I told you it was Sheila II's fault. Church: Now I don't trust him with that thing anymore. Tucker, you'll do it. Tucker: What? Why me? I do wanna get the chance to fire that thing, but shooting at a possibly hot chick? Church: Want your dick to be spared for Weiss? Tucker: Uh... yeah? Church: Then good. Caboose, give Tucker the rifle. Caboose: Okay.

Caboose hands Crescent Rose to Tucker.

Tucker: Finally! Time to finally fire this thing. Wait a minute, why don't we just use our rifles? Church: Have you ever try hitting a faraway moving target in mid range? Tucker: Good point.

Tucker got out of cover and aims the Crescent Rose at the lone Red 'Rambo' riding around the base. The warthog isn't in full speed so he didn't have to worry about aiming the gun. Once she's in his crosshair he pulls the trigger. However, just like happened with Caboose, nothing came out from the barrel. He tries again. Still nothing.

Tucker: What the-?

BABABABABABABANG!!!

Swarms of bullets fly passed the Teal One, luckily not a single shot landed on him or he'll be swiss cheese. He yelped out and jumps back into cover.

Church: What happened? Have you killed her? Grif: Sarge will be really pissed if he did. Tucker: This damn thing won't fire! Church: What?! Caboose: See I told you, Sheila has gone naughty! Church: How can that be? Caboose somehow manage to fire that thing and it worked perfectly fine! Tucker: No seriously, look!

Once Tucker pulls the trigger, he thought it won't fire, but it did. The rifle finally fired again and a high caliber bullet fly passed through Church's astral form and hits the concrete floor right between Grif's legs! Thankfully, his balls were spared!

Grif: EEEK! Watch where you're shooting, jackass! Church: T-that's exactly what happened just now! Caboose couldn't fire at that psychopath but he was able fired that thing at me! Tucker: Does this thing have a mind of it's own or what? Simmons: I think it's a mod.

Everybody turned to Simmons when they heard of what he said.

Church: What are you talking about? Simmons: That thing is made by her right? She must've installed a mod as a precaution so that it can't be allowed to harm her. Everyone: A mod? Simmons: That's right. I think I read it somewhere in a book. This mod can identify a certain body signature through a long range biometric scanner. Meaning that once it reads a certain body signature, for example the creator's, it locks the firing mechanism unless the signature is no longer in its field anymore. Church: So it can't harm it's user? That's just fucking great. Well it looks like we'll just have to rely on our crappy guns. C'mon guys, let's teach this bitch a lesson. Grif: Hey, what about us? You can't just leave us tied up here! Tucker: Hey at least those handcuffs will prevent you from escaping. Catch ya later!

At the Red Base

This is beautiful, Sarge thought. He happily looks at the devastation being laid upon the Blues by his favourite female soldier. Of all the things he sees in the war, he has never seen such a beautifully destructive battlefield happening right at his doorstep.

Sarge: Look at this, Lopez. I've seen so much war with my two old eyes, but this takes the cake. What do you think? Lopez: Es una obra maestra de un demonio. Sarge: Hahaha! Now you said it. Though it's a shame I'm not there to be apart of it. But nevertheless, it's a good view to watch. Now I wonder what those three are doing out there. If I can guess, Grif could be sitting behind a rock, traumatized by Rose's handiwork. Hahaha!

Back at the Blue Base

Grif: We're going to DIE!!!

Precisely what Grif said. The battle seems hopeless for the Blues and their Red hostages. The Blues have started launching their counter-attack at the moving Warthog and it's rider. They have manage to land a few hits on the mad Red, but it did little to stop her due to how much she dodges in that thing like an annoying fly flying around a man's face. Tucker grabs his grenade and throws it at the driver. However, Ruby grabs the bomb before it hits her face and throws it straight back to Tucker. The Teal One, while surprised by the Red's reflexes, runs away before the grenade explodes mid-air above him.

Tucker: Wow, this girl is badass than Tex! A little help Church! Church?

Tucker turned to Church, currently trying to get into his cold dead body.

Tucker: Uh, Church, what the fuck are you doing? Church: What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying to get into my body! Now how did I get in there again? Tucker: Deal with that later! Just give us a hand here with your ghost powers! Church: And do what? Go out there and scare the pants out of that crazy bitch while saying "OOOOOOH, I'm the ghost of Christmas Past!". Yeah right. I don't even look scary! Tucker: Then why not... (bullet flies above him) WOAH, that was close!... possess her body and make her stop? Church: .... Oh, I kinda forgot I can still do that. Alright just wait here while you distract her. Tucker: On it. Hey, baby! I know I recently just knew you and you probably can't hear me from here. But if you do, how about I show you a couple of moves with my rifle's barrel and then we can... Church: Not that kind of distraction, dumbass!

GHOSTLY FADE OUT EFFECT, POP

Church teleports himself on the crater filled landscape. He looks around and spots the Red driving nearby about two meters from him. The Red stops the warthog and continues firing the rocket launcher with her left arm and the assault rifle with the other.  This looks like a good oppurtunity to possess her.

Church: Alright you little bitch. I'll make you cement this entire base from top to bottom.

Church runs towards Ruby. She hasn't noticed him yet so that's good. As she kept firing those guns, Church enters her body and takes control of her. Finally the battle's over! Actually, it hasn't. Ruby is still attacking the Blue base! Tucker who had seen everything, was dumbfounded to see that Church's possession had little to no effect on her.  

Tucker: What the... why is Church not controlling her?!?! Caboose: I think Church is trying out the body. Tucker: Hey Church, if it's really you, quit it! It's not funny!

Suddenly, Church screamed as he gets blasted out of Ruby's body like a catapult and falls right back into his body. Church finally back in his vessel, shot up and screamed as if he had a terrible nightmare. Caboose and Tucker took notice of their fully revived leader and rushes to him.

Tucker: Church, are you okay? Church:........ WOAHOHO!!! That bitch... is MAD! Tucker: What happened out there? Church: Okay I was going to take over her body right when I was in possession and man her body's quite thin and young. When all the sudden some bright angry force pushed me out off her! JESUS, she's more madder than O'Malley! Tucker: Well at least she doesn't make that annoying laugh all the time. Caboose: But that's not the only thing I experienced. I also saw her mind and I finally found out why she's attacking us. Tucker: Rescue Grif, Simmons and Donut? Church: No. Caboose: COOKIES! Church: Not CLOSE enough. Though I did saw a big cookie floating in her head. Tucker: Me? Church and Caboose:..... Tucker: Nah, I'm kidding! So what's she really for?

Church slowly turns his head. Tucker wonders what his leader's looking and turns to where his head's facing at. He's looking at Caboose, but not exactly 'at' the Blue, but at the big red rifle, Crescent Rose hanging behind his back.

Caboose: Is there something on my nose? Oh my God, I hate spiders! Tucker: Wait, the gun? Grif: What are you guys doing over there?! Stop Rose or something! Church: Give us a minute, fatass! That's right. Her main purpose her is the gun. Tucker: W-wha? How can a kidnapped gun turn a girl into a psychopathic killer? Church: Hey, I'm no psychologist! However, if we give the gun back to her, that might stop her rampage. Tucker: Hold on, let's not try handing it back to her like gentleman. Remember. She thinks we stole it, right? Church: And the point is? Tucker: If one of us give it to her, she'll still kill us! Church: Good point. Hmm. How about.... we use it to drive her away from the base like bait. Tucker: You think that'll work? Church: Don't know but it's worth a try. Man. And I thought I might be able to try it. Tucker: Sigh, no kidding. I didn't get the chance to shoot someone's ass with it. But's it's better than getting blown to smithereens. Church: Then that's a yes. Caboose, I'm sorry to say this but... Caboose: Okay. Church: You know... I kinda like cause you have no idea about what I just said. Caboose: Oh no it'd be nice for the gun to go back to its mommy. It's nice knowing you, Sheila II. Church: Now that all of us agreed, the question is, how do we get out of here? If we try moving it by foot, that psycho will run us down with that bike. Tucker: I don't think we have to move at all. Be right back!

Several 7.62mm FMJs and 102mm rockets later.

BOOOOM!!!

There goes another wall and a roll of duct tape. Tucker has fully wrapped both Donut's unconscious body and Crescent Rose together, as well as the proposition for Grif's and Simmon's s̶l̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶b̶o̶r̶ imprisoment to Sarge. The base is beginning to look real bad. Half the roof is gone and much of the interior has collapse. Whatever they're planning, they better do it quick.

Tucker: The way we saw how strong Caboose hit that grenade gave me an idea. If he swings and strike them hard enough, he might be able to launch them across the canyon to the Red base. Caboose: Yay, golf time! Tucker: That's exactly what I'm thinking. Once the babe sees her weapon flying with Donut, she'll be drawn to it. Church: If she sees her rifle that is. Simmons: What about Donut? Wouldn't he get hurt badly once he hits the ground? Grif: Simmons, may I remind that Donut survived an explosion to the face and got crushed by a falling pelican. Simmons: Oh I guess he'll be alright. But aside from baiting Rose, you sure Caboose can launch an object that far before? Tucker: You could've seen what he did to a golfball. Simmons: What happened to it?

BOOOOOM!!!

The explosion made the remind of their current situation.

Church: No time to explain that! Tucker, let's give Caboose some cover! Tucker: On it! Here Caboose, you'll need this.

Tucker gives Caboose a long pipe with a 90 degrees pipe elbow at the end similar to golf club.

Tucker: Remember how you launch that golfball to the sky? Caboose: Oh yeah, it flew right out of orbit and hit straight at our satellite. Then we didn't get an TV reception for a week and... Tucker: Yeah something like that but, just do it softly this time. Caboose: Aye aye, chief! Church: TUCKER! Tucker: Coming!

Tucker leaves Caboose to his job. Caboose then walks towards the duct tape wrapped unconsious Donut and rifle before standing next to them. He then positioned himself in the good old golf set up and places the end of the pipe next to the human sized makeshift ball. But before he could swing, Donut finally regains consciousness.

Donut: Ugh, what happened? Caboose: Hi, Donut! Donut: C-Caboose? What are you doing with that pipe and... why am I tied up in duct tape? And why is Crescent Rose tied up behind me? Caboose: Yeah we're suppose to drive the monster away from us by getting Sheila II with you out of here. Donut: Monster.... Sheila II?

Donut is completely confused until he looked around the devastation around him. He is shocked to see the Blue base in a complete wreck!

Donut: Holy bananas! You guys need some serious renovatons around here! Caboose: Oh don't worry, Simmons and Grif will be in charge on that.

A familiar mongoose engine from nearby caught his attention. He turned to see a familiar colored armor and cape riding on his team's ATV. It's Ruby, firing a rocket launcher and an assault rifle each in both her hands! Though why is her eyes glowing?

Donut: Is that Ruby? Caboose: Donut, would you help me with something? Donut: Uh yeah sure? Caboose: Would you kindly... posture yourself like how we did when we were in our moms' bellies. Donut: You mean fetal position?

Donut did what Caboose ordered him. He curved his back, bows his head and wraps both his legs with his arms.

Donut: Like this? What's the point in it? Caboose: I'm going to strike you like a golfball with this pipe and launch you back to your base. Donut: Wait... WHAAAAT?!?! Caboose: FOOOOOOORRREEE!!!

Caboose raises the pipe above him, swings it hard and strikes the poor pink Red (I mean 'lightish red') to the sky! Donut screams in both pain and terror as he flies through the sky like a human cannonball.

Donut: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Hey, I can see our base from here!

Meanwhile back on the ground, the blast off Donut caught Ruby's attention, briefly pausing her destruction. As if she had super sight, she spots a flat long red object strapped behind Donut. Crescent Rose. No doubt about it. Like a moth to a flame, she turns the mongoose around and follows the flying object. Back on the Blue's roof, everyone looked to witness the monster finally leaving their base alone.

Caboose: Bye, Sheila II! Welp, time to get the broom.

At the Red Base

Sarge: What in Sam Hill did I just saw, Lopez? It looked like something flew off from there! Lopez: Parece algo lanzado en su base.

Was Sarge imagining things or did he just saw the Blue hit something and launched it like a golfball. As his mind begins to process of what the hell happened, his ears caught something of what sounded like a familiar girly scream coming closer and closer from above him. He lowers his binoculars and looks up to see a ball of pink heading directly straight at him!

Donut: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Sarge: Aah fiddlesticks.

CRASH!!!

Sarge didn't had time to dodge the incoming projectile and the object lands directly on top of him. The crash while may look painful, Lopez nonetheless laughed upon seeing what has befallen upon his leader.

Lopez: LOL! Habla de un aterrizaje forzoso!

Some of his bones are broken, but he's been through worse. Sarge groaned in pain as he looks at the pink object now lying on top of him. To his surprise, it's none other than Pvt. Delano Donut tied up in duct tape with what seems to be Crescent Rose on his back. Wait, Crescent Rose is on his back, he thought!

Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly! You got Crescent Rose back! Donut: Oh hi, Sarge!

Both got up from each other as they push the dust all over them.

Sarge: Status report! What are doing tied up with Crescent Rose in duct tape? And where did those two go? Donut: I have no idea. I was firing the gun on the Blues with them driving, when all the sudden everything went black like something hit me on the head. Sarge: Yes, I can see why.

Unbeknownst to Donut, the grenade Caboose hit back is still stuck on his head. Sarge and Lopez just took notice of it.

Lopez: Sr. Sarge, ¿deberíamos estar preocupados por eso? Sarge: Yes tell us more. Donut: Well when I woke up, the first thing I heard were gunshots and explosions everywhere. POW! PEW! BANG! I learned I was tied up in duct tape with Crescent Rose here and the next thing I saw was Caboose standing above me holding a pipe. He then talked some monster attacking their base and driving it away. I think he was referring to Ruby for some reason, she was on the Mongoose with a... rocket launcher? Lopez: ¡Ya te lo dije! ¡Hijo de Mictlāntēcutli! Donut: After that, he told me to get into a fetal position and then, he striked me with the pipe like a golfball! Sarge: Well that explains everything. But at least we got Crescent Rose back. Though what I don't understand is what you mean't by 'driving it away'? Lopez: ¡¡¡JADEAR!!! ¿Podría ser?

Heavy footsteps caught all the three's attention. They slowly turned to Ruby ascending up the stairs as black aura flickers like flame all over her. She removes her helmet, revealing the same demonic face of burning bright eyes Lopez first saw half an hour ago. Sarge is recoiled by the sight of her and Donut, upon seeing Ruby in such a wrathful state, awed in horror at his teammate's horrying state. Ruby then focuses her monstrous eyes at one of them, Donut to be exact.

Ruby: Cre-Crescent....... Roooooossse? Donut: R-Rose? Are y-you okay? You looked like you could use some m-m-milk Lopez: ¡Donut, hablar con ello es inútil! Sarge: Donut, get it off your back. Donut: What? Sarge: I said get Crescent Rose off your back before she tears your poor soul APART!!!! Lopez: ¡DEMASIADO TARDE! ¡MIRA! Ruby: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

As if by instant, Ruby viciously lunges herself like a leopard to Donut.

Sarge: You're on your own! Lopez: Adios, Donut!

Sarge grabs Lopez's head and ducks into cover, however Donut was too shocked by the incoming terror that his body was too paralyzed to dodge her. The last thing he would see was the wild demonic face that is Ruby's as her hands are about to reach out to him like sharp claws! Oh the humanity!

Donut: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Donut closes his eyes and braces himself for the horrifying pain. But instead of claws driving through his chest and his organs ripped off, all he felt was a gust of wind passing by. Confused, he slowly opened his eyes and sees Ruby not going to attack him but, happily bawling out while hugging Crescent Rose?!

Ruby: My Sweetheart!!!

Okay this is just too sudden, even for Master Chief's standards. Sarge and Lopez too were stupefy to see what the hell just happened, Lopez mostly. Donut on the other hand, is astonished by Ruby's cute renunion with her weapon.

Donut: Aww! Lopez: ¡¿Qué demonios acaba de pasar?! ¿Por qué no lo ha destrozado? Sarge: That's it? No mutilation, no spine ripping? That was the most disappointing fatality I have ever seen! Donut: But look how Rose going! Ruby: Imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou!

Ruby finally noticed the men looking at her. She stopped, realizing how awkward she was doing with her weapon like an immature kid. Wait, she is immature.

Ruby: Uuhm. Forget what you saw. Sarge: What in holy macaroon was that about that! Donut: For the moment there I thought you were going to rip me apart. Ruby: I'm sorry! I kinda lose control when it comes to stuff and family. Heehee! Sarge: And you caused a lot of mayhem for that? That's why you're my favourite markswoman. Lopez: ¿Pero sigues siendo el hijo de Mictlāntēcutli? Ruby: I'll translate what you said later, Lopez. By the way, Donut, where's Simmons and Grif? Weren't you with them just now? Donut: I was, until I got knocked out that is Sarge: Hmm, what's this?

Sarge rips off of what seems to be a piece of paper taped behind Donut written in blue ink. Everyone comes closer so see what it contains. It reads:

"Dear, Sarge of Red Team. I'm sure you have questions about your other two soldiers, but as you might already know we have taken them prisoners for some 'personal affairs'. But in exchange for them, we return back your other teammate and the weapon we stole from you. Once we're done with them, we can bring them back to you. Or if you're too impatient, be my guess, but just wait till we cement the whole place please! P.S. DON'T BRING THAT PSYCHOPATHIC RED IF YOU'RE GONNA RESCUE THEM!!!"- Love, Leonard L. Church.

Ruby: Oh no, we got to rescue them! Sarge: Nah, I'm sure they're fine. At least we got your weapon back. Ruby: Yeah but I'm now starting to feel sorry for them. Maybe we should rescue them- Sarge: Simmons might live through imprisonment, but Grif on the other hand... hehe... that's a completely different story. Ruby: Are you sure cause- EEEEP!!! DONUT, IS THAT A GRENADE ON YOUR HEAD? Donut: What?!

Ruby hands Donut a miniature mirror from her belt. He looked through the reflection and is shocked to see the grenade.

Sarge: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. Donut, you got a grenade stuck to your head. And the pin's off Donut: PIN'S OFF?! AAAAAAHHHH!!! GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME! Sarge: Calm down, it hasn't exploded! Damn thing must've misfired. Now hold still while I... Ruby: WAIT! If we try pulling it out by hand, it could explode! Donut: OH NOHOHOOOO! Ruby: We should call, Command for help! Sarge: That'll take too long to get them here! What this boy need is a good old quick yank with this old paw. Donut: Wait, Sarge! SAAAARGE!!! Ruby: Oh boy.

Back at the Blue Base (again)

With that fiasco with the Red over. All that's left is to clean up the place before Weiss comes back. Tucker drops the last bag of cement on top of more piles of the stuff and tools to cement the whole base back to it's proper shape.

Tucker: Here you are. Enough stuff to fix this whole place up. Enjoy boys. Grif: Fuck you! Sigh. So, Simmons, how long do you think will this take to cement this place? Simmons: Well based on the calculated damage here, I'd say a whole week... non stop. Grif: ... DAMN, YOU ROSE!!!

The two idiots grab the stuff to get into working, while Church, Caboose and Tucker relaxed themselves on their UNSC issued beach chairs.

Tucker: Shouldn't we help them so this might speed this up? Church: After what we've been through today? Nah! Considered this a lesson learned for them. Tucker: Hmm, I guess so. Hey, servants! Make sure the walls are smooth like silk! Grif and Simmons: Auugh! Church: Hehehe! And as long as we make them work HARDER, this will be done before Schnee gets back.

As Church sip a drink through his helmet, his peace was interrupted by a loud and ear piercing...

Weiss: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED HERE!!!!!!!

The sudden scream made Church spew out his drink in his helmet (gross!). They Blues turned to the source and to their horror, Weiss is standing above the stairway with a shocked expression. Yep, she's back from Command.

Church: S-Schnee?!?! Tucker: Hey... eh... Schnee.... You're back early. Hehehe. Caboose: Hi, Weiss! How's your trip at Command?

Weiss slowly turned her head to the relaxing Blues. Her shocked turned to anger that they have never seen before. She gets closer to them as she grits her teeth, making the Blue's aside from Caboose, swallow their throats.

Weiss: CHURCH... TUCKER... CABOOSE... I was given an early leave after Command was done with me. While on the way, I expected nothing bad would happen while I was absent. However, I incidently come across a pile of rocks what was once our base while YOU DOPES RELAX ON YOUR CHAIRS AND SIP A GLASS OF LEMONADE?!?! YOU PIECES OF... Schnee remember, swearing is unladylike... gasp... YOU PIECES OF UNPROFESSIONAL TRASH!!! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH MANNER HAS BEFALLEN ON OUR BASE AND YOU DID NOTHING... NOTHING!... TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING! WHERE I LIVE, WE DO IT IN A MORE FAST AND PRECISE WAY AGAINST THE ENEMY, NOT THE SLOW AND IMPRECISE WAY! AND WHAT IS THIS?! OUR COVERS FROM SNIPERS ARE DESTROYED, LEAVING ALL OF US INVUNERABLE ENEMY SNIPERS! DO YOU THINK WAR IS REALLY THAT SIMPLE? THIS IS- Ahem! This is unacceptable.

Weiss returns back to her calm demeanor after a lengthy speech of wrath upon her team. Despite her petite size, her voice mixed with her fury were so powerful that it feels like their souls were about to shatter like glass. And the look of her beautiful eyes turned to fury just now, was soul trembling. Church and Tucker were fully stunned by what happened, but as for Caboose? Still the same old oblivious Caboose.

Tucker: Talk about a girl with fire. Weiss: Moving to the matter at hand, what happened here? Church, Tucker and Caboose: Uhh... Weiss: ANSWER THE QUESTION! Church: Okay okay, 'Ms Drill Seargent', it's those idiots' fault! Grif: Hey, our girl did it, not us!

Church points Weiss to the men responsible for this mess, still cementing a once destroyed wall. Grif and Simmons. Both of them are surprised by this teammate for this is the first time they have met her.

Grif: Uhh... is she new here? Simmons: Kinda, I've never seen her face before. Church: Oh, I forgot you guys haven't met. Weiss, Grif. Weiss, Simmons. Grif, Weiss. Simmons, Grif. Grif: 'Sup. Simmons: Hello, nice to meet... GAH.

Simmons yelp when Weiss approaches them at a surprising speed. She didn't say anything to them yet, but examines as they also examine her. Although they haven't met her, their instincts are telling them to get out off this planet. She looked around the chaos and back at them.

Weiss: You two... did this? Grif: Yeah.. well no... NO! We didn't 'actually' wreck the base, we pressed our teammate's berserk button by framing your team they have her weapon but it went from bad to worse. Simmons: Shouldn't we explain it a lot more understandable?

Suddenly, a jolt of electricity smacked Simmons at the visor. His helmet protected him, but it stings like hell! Grif helped Simmons to get up before both of them look up to see what had just hit them. In Weiss' left hand is a whip, an electro whip. That was lucky for Simmons. If she had tune it to 'High' it would've killed him.

Weiss: You both will explain right after you two FINISH CEMENTING THAT WALL UNTIL A SINGLE CRACK IS GONE!!! AND IF YOU DO NOT FINISH IT BY THE END OF THE HOUR, I'LL SEND YOU BOTH STRAIGHT TO BLUE'S CORRECTIONAL FACILITY AS P.O.W.s! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?! Grif and Simmons: Yes, m-m-ma'am! Weiss: Good. And if you need any breaks, you are free to do so for five minutes. Now chop chop, boys!

Grif and Simmons rush back to their workplace and continue cementing as fast as before like loyal obedient servants. Church, Tucker and Caboose are amazed by what Weiss did and that whip she somehow got her hands on.

Tucker: When did she get that? Church: Wow. You might be fit emough to be a drill sergeant after all. Weiss: Thank you. I learned a thing or two from my sister. Tucker: Man, I would like to see your sister. Now if you'll excuse me, babe. We'll be there relaxing our asses and... Weiss: Hold it right there, I'm not done talking you dopes! Tucker: Sigh. What is it? Weiss: You need explain everything, I mean all of it, of what happened here! Church: What? Aren't you going to interrogate them later? Weiss: I need both parties' testimony. Unlike those prisoners here, you'll be writting in a formal documentation and submit it to me, ten thousand words. Church: Ten thousand words long?! Weiss: As well as indoor repairs. Tucker: Indoor repairs?! That will be those guys job too! Weiss: Consider this a punishment for your lack of caution here. UNLESS YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO CONTACT COMMAND ABOUT YOU AND GIVE SOME PROPER DISCIPLINE LIKE THOSE REDS! As a Sangheili said. "The more the workers, the more faster we can fix this place up." Tucker: Hold on, what about Caboose? What will he do? Weiss: While I'm in charge in making the prisoners work fast and their interrogation, his job is to keep them from escaping. Caboose: Yay! Church: What? That's not as bad as ours! Weiss: Ahem... Command? Church: Sigh. "Don't tell Sarge." they say. "We'll fix this place." they say. Grif : Hey, you forced us to fix this place!

Grif gets silenced by Weiss elctro whip again.

Weiss: KEEP WORKING, SCUM! Now off to writting you two! Caboose: See ya later guys! Church: Sigh, we should've let that Red kill us in the first place. Tucker: Not me. I'm planning to hook up with her once she cools down. Grif: Hey, Simmons? Simmons: Yeah? Girf: Telling the truth and get shot by Sarge would've been a lot more merciful than this. Simmons: *Sob*! Yeah, it should have.

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/necroceph

[mirsan]

Ditched, Again

(For my sweet @inukag !!! This was supposed to be for your birthday, but it ended up being late enough that now we can go ahead and say it’s for you finishing your exams!!! I love love love you and wanted to give you a little something in celebration, so I settled with InuKag and MirSan on a double date :D~ Or well, it would be a double date if MirSan would stop trying to push their two friends together by ditching them… 👀👀👀

InuKag, College AU. 6,879 words, PG-13 for Inuyasha’s potty mouth)

Inuyasha had decided that he hated couples.

Specifically, he hated Miroku and Sango, and whatever weird shit they were up to with him and Kagome.

The four of them were spending another weeknight at their campus bar, exhaustion over final exams rolling off of them in waves of laughter and celebratory clinks of their drinks, as they finally reached the light at the end of their Fall semester. But there was a catch. And lately, as Inuyasha had managed to piece together over the course of the past few weeks, the catch was popping up more frequently, as clear as the tacky, flashing neon sign hanging outside above the entrance. And he was sick of it.

So when Kagome and Sango excused themselves to finally use the restroom that night, he waited until they were sufficiently out of earshot before leaning over the table to look Miroku dead in his guilty eyes.

“Can you two knock it the fuck off already?”

He could see Miroku’s face pass through several phases - confusion first, then maybe bewilderment. Then… Enlightenment? Then confusion again. Finally, exasperation. “Okay. I’ll bite. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Miroku, this is the first time you and I have been left alone at this table in weeks,” Inuyasha squeezed out like a hiss of hot air. “You gonna pretend like that hasn’t all been on purpose?”

He watched as his friend tilted his head, as though looking at Inuyasha at a different angle might somehow give him the answer he was searching for, while arching his eyebrows this way and that. Meanwhile, Inuyasha found himself growing more irritated by the second. He clenched his fist while wrapping the other on the table impatiently. He could remember exactly what was happening just three days earlier, when they met up together right at this time in an attempt to break away from seemingly endless hours of studying, to unwind with a couple of drinks and good times. And then just two days before that, to kick off the weekend like they normally would. And even before that, to celebrate during the lull between classes ending and exam period beginning, trying to savor that last bit of freedom from obligation before study period was in full force. Every encounter included the same shit: Miroku and Sango both showing up over an hour late with flimsy excuses, leaving Inuyasha and Kagome at the table alone; Miroku and Sango constantly getting up to order drinks and snacks at the bar, leaving Inuyasha and Kagome at the table alone; Sango stepping outside to take a phone call, and Miroku catching up with a classmate from last semester, leaving Inuyasha and Kagome at the table.  Alone. Together. Over and over and over again.

“Inuyasha, I’m afraid I don’t understand. Are you and Kagome not friends? Is it inconvenient for you two to have to share space with each other for extended periods of time?” Miroku looked at him like a father might look at a cranky child as he drew lazy circles around his pint of beer and Inuyasha thought he was the most annoying person on the planet.

“That’s not the point, you idiot, we have nothing to say to each other unless you and Sango are there talking about something we can both chime in on, so when you leave us alone like that it’s fucking awkward and–” Inuyasha jumped at the sound of the heavy bathroom door swinging open from behind him and looked to check who was coming out, and upon realizing it wasn’t Sango or Kagome, continued on. “I barely know her, she’s you and Sango’s friend, we’re just friends by association!”

Miroku let out a deep, condescending sigh. “And don’t you think that the solution to this problem is, ah… Talking? I mean, how else do you really get to know someone, exactly?” He took a sip of his drink and averted his gaze to the other side of the room, really driving home that you’re insufferable vibe, missing the way Inuyasha bore holes into his disinterested face. “I mean really, Inuyasha. She’s been part of our friend group for months now, and you two barely know a thing about each other, aside from… Your majors? If that? And that’s just terribly sad.”

“Yeah, okay. Except you’re not leaving us alone to be friends, now, are you. Asshole.” He spat, his fingers tapping more vigorously now.

“Inuyasha, please. What on earth do Sango and I have to gain from that?”

“Another couple to do couple shit with. Y’all are always moping about how all your friends are single.”

“We certainly do not do that.”

Inuyasha leaned back and folded his arms, glaring and jaw set like Miroku’s filthy goddamn hands were halfway out of the cookie jar and the other man had the nerve to lie while his face was covered in crumbs. “Remember when you found that Romantic Weekend Getaway package deal and realized how fucking expensive it would be split between only two people instead of four?”

“Okay, well–”

“Remember bitching about nobody to go to Couples Cooking Classes with you both?”

“Listen–”

“Remember how dramatic you were about how only you and Sango had coordinated Halloween costumes this year?”

“Damnit, Inuyasha, do you know how annoying that was?!”

Miroku cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure, while Inuyasha sat back in his seat, poised for rapid fire. “I can keep going. Remember when–”

“Okay! Okay, fine.” He hushed, hands up in surrender. “You’re right. We just want you two to hurry up and date already.”

Inuyasha whipped his head around again to glimpse the bathroom door before practically snapping his neck back toward Miroku, eyes blazing. “Well get the fuck over it! It isn’t going to happen, so stop forcing small talk on us! I don’t see her that way.”

“And why not?” Miroku countered, leaning in and speaking a bit lower. He was clearly fighting the urge to waggle, at minimum, one of his brows. “I mean… Don’t you at least find her attractive?”

Inuyasha blinked. “Am I supposed to?”

“Oh. Oh my goodness. I see now. You’ve lost your sight.” Miroku buried his face in his hands in mock horror before extending his arm to cup his friend’s cheek. “All this time… I’m so sorry, Inuyasha.”

He swatted the hand away from him like a gnat. “Shut up, you jackass, I’m not calling her ugly or anything I just don’t–”

“Who’s ugly?” Sango’s voice sprang out of nowhere, leading Inuyasha’s heart to somersault out of his throat. She and Kagome flashed curious eyes back and forth between the two men. “What did we miss?”

Without a second wasted, Miroku slid over to let Sango back in her seat, gesturing with grandiose charm. “My dear Sango, we were just discussing the gorgeous blouse you’re wearing. I took the stance that it is beautiful and that it, having been chosen by you, is nothing short of perfect, but Inuyasha has an inherent lack of fashion sense, and disagreed with the idea that you and everything you do is without flaw.” Inuyasha cemented him as the most annoying person in the universe. The whole fucking universe.

Sango rolled her eyes and batted playfully at his arm. “Come on. Really?”

“Okay, you got me. Inuyasha thinks Kagome’s ugly.”

Kagome let out a tiny, surprised squeak, while the man next to her sputtered and choked on his beer. Miroku waved his hands harmlessly, “Kidding! Just a joke. Inuyasha, why are you so red? Please breathe.”

The four of them continued their evening with few speed bumps, and out of respect for his friend, Miroku did refrain from creating anymore opportunities that night for alone time between the two that were barely friends with each other. He did notice that Inuyasha and Kagome interacted very rarely with one another, usually only responding to something he or Sango might have said, but the one-on-one interaction wasn’t quite as nonexistent as Inuyasha might have made it seem. In fact, Kagome was the only one to laugh (sympathetically, very fake, couldn’t fool anyone) at one of Inuyasha’s awful attempts at a joke, and that was pretty significant, considering you couldn’t pay Sango or him to laugh at that one. She also seemed perfectly willing to share her fries with him after saying that she couldn’t eat another bite, and Inuyasha took her up on that offer, but of course this was free food and this was also Inuyasha, so it wasn’t terribly surprising either way. But it certainly meant that, at the very least, Kagome didn’t mind Inuyasha, and it could mean something even better.

With last call came the routine dispersing of the bar’s patrons, flurries of colorful evening wear disappearing under thick bundles of coats and scarves, as everyone reconvened outside in the crisp winter air to huddle together for a few last moments of chitchat. Before parting ways, Inuyasha drew Miroku to the side just to say one more time, for emphasis –

“No more, alright? Next time you dip out or show up late to a hangout, it better be for a good reason.”

Miroku considered. “Just for my own sake, what constitutes as a ‘good reason’ to you, friend?”

“Like if Kirara swallowed Sango’s make-up and had to be rushed to the ER.”

“That’s very specific.”

Inuyasha clicked his tongue in annoyance, stuffing his hands deep into his coat pockets. “Whatever! You get what I mean. No more bullshit from either of you, deal?”

“Of course. Take care!” Miroku grinned and waved him off as Sango stepped out from the bar into the night, looping her arm with his and looking the picture of innocence and not at all like her boyfriend’s accomplice. “Night, Inuyasha!” She called to him behind her, smiling sweetly. “See you tomorrow for lunch!”

He gave a noncommittal grunt in reply before shuffling off in the other direction, but was silently grateful for what he hoped would be the return to normal, stress-free, no-ulterior-motives time with his friends. Plus Kagome.

Truth be told, Inuyasha didn’t trust Miroku as far as he could throw him, and so when he arrived at the cafe fifteen minutes late and he was still there before either one of The Fucking Couple, his blood pressure spiked.

He scoped out his surroundings; a casual ramen shop, with not too many people, which he liked. More people meant longer wait times, and he was in enough of a mood already without the added frustration of waiting for his food. Whatever, maybe they were just running late…

“Inuyasha!” He heard a girl’s voice call out, and spied Kagome in a powder blue cardigan signaling to him from her spot at a corner booth. “I got us a table!”

Yeah no shit, he thought, making his way over to her, dread quickly forming to sit somewhere low in his stomach. Something was up, and he knew it. He didn’t let her get much of a word in before barking out, “Are they seriously fucking late again?”

Her eyes not-so-subtly said weren’t you late too and maybe a touch of jeez, calm down there’s kids here, but she quickly pulled out her phone with a hum to herself. “I don’t think they’re coming for lunch. Sango texted me saying Kirara must have gotten into her make-up this morning and she seemed really sick, so the two of them were going to take her to the vet right away.” She placed a thoughtful finger to her chin, the flimsy story unraveling in her mind after saying it outloud. “It’s strange, she’s normally such a good kitty… And I thought most make-up was non-toxic anyways…”

Inuyasha hated them both so, so much. So much.

He contemplated his options: he could just leave, pick up a cheap hotdog from a street vendor around the corner, and go back to his bed and catch up on sleep. That sounded really nice, but would be a dick move to bail on her, all things considered. Or he could stay here and force small talk with Kagome for maybe half an hour, assuming they could order, receive, and eat their food that fast, and maybe they wouldn’t even need to talk while eating because, you know, they’re eating–

Kagome’s frustrated sigh broke him from his train of thought. “I swear, even if they were here they’d probably find some reason to flake on us later on, right?”

“Keh, no kidding,” he scoffed. “It’s all they do lately.”

Her eyes lit up with a mutual understanding, like a poorly structured dam that Inuyasha broke down instantly by saying just what had been on her mind for weeks. “Yeah! It’s really annoying! I mean, I get that things come up, but what’s so hard about carving out a few moments to spend with your friends?!” She then gasped and covered her mouth regretfully with her hand, lowering her gaze. “Oh… I shouldn’t say that. Especially not if Kirara is sick and all. I think I’m just tired…”

“Nah,” he brushed her off nonchalantly, not really caring if he seemed rude or dismissive of his friends’ struggles because damn it I know the truth they’re little lying sneaks and they’ve got something up their sleeve so don’t waste your sympathy on them Kagome, “you’re just tired of their shit. Don’t worry, so am I.” He propped his elbow on the table, cheek resting in his cupped hand as he absentmindedly perused the menu. It was just lunch. How bad could it be with only the two of them? Maybe he really could stuff his face and avoid conversation. Plan B and all that.

He exhaled in defeat, accepting that he wasn’t going anywhere for the moment. “Whatever. Let’s just eat, no sense wasting any more of our time. Their loss,” he trailed off, finger hovering over a picture of a steaming bowl of tonkotsu ramen. He’d already forgotten about the street hotdog.

“Mhm,” she cheerily agreed. “This was my suggestion anyway. I love this place, it’s one of the first restaurants I stumbled across when I dared to venture off campus after moving out here. The tonkotsu ramen is to die for…”

Well, at least she had good taste in food.

After they’d both ordered their lunch, waited around fifteen minutes for it to come out, and began slurping away at their noodles, Inuyasha counted maybe about five or six sentences exchanged between them. And “yeah” and “I guess” counted as sentences in his book.

So far in their forced conversation he’d learned that she liked spicy food, and she’d learned that he didn’t. She was studying early childhood education, and he was studying occupational therapy. They also discovered they both weren’t from the city, but from small towns out in the countryside, in opposite directions from Tokyo. He learned her family had a shrine, and she learned his family had a farm. All in all, Inuyasha figured that was probably enough discovery for one day.

He had to give her credit, though; despite his often gruff responses and lack of eye contact, she… Appeared to take a genuine interest in what he was saying. Every response from her was peppered with an ooh or aah, and when she heard the word “farm” she sounded like a kid at a petting zoo when she asked about what kind of animals his family raised. “Like chickens and pigs and cows? Horses?!”

“Uh, here and there. Kind of. Mostly chickens. Oh look, our food’s here.”

To his satisfaction, the ramen was delicious, much better than the cheap stuff he’d scrounged up during the school year when he was short on cash. Why did they always have to meet at the campus bar if this place existed? And you could always order a beer with your meal here too, if you really wanted, so what was the point of ever going to a bar in the first place? What kind of people was he even friends with? How stupid–

He heard Kagome sniffle from her seat across him and watched as she self-consciously covered her nose and mouth with a napkin. Her eyes were red, and the rest of her face wasn’t far behind. “Ahh, this always happens… The spice is soooo good, but sometimes I still can’t handle it!” She laughed nervously between sniffs as she tried to be discrete, shrinking in on herself to somehow try and make the display less obvious.

“Yeah, that’s why I don’t mess with that stuff. My senses are too sensitive as is.” He wrinkled his nose in disgust; the broth in Kagome’s bowl was liquid fire, with flecks of red chili flakes, and he could smell the flavorful heat from where he sat as it threatened to singe his nostril hairs. She must be pretty tough to handle all that and only get a runny nose, though, which was more than he could say for himself. He remembered not-so-fondly when Miroku cooked spicy curry over at his place one evening, and Inuyasha thought his taste buds would be shot for the rest of his life…

“Miroku nearly killed me with curry once,” he decided to finish out loud, between bites. “Everything I ate for the next week tasted like gunpowder. I drank a whole gallon of milk that night to get rid of the pain, and I don’t even like milk.” Kagome laughed and he couldn’t tell if the tears in her eyes were from laughing or if the spice was really getting to her now, but she was laughing pretty hard, and Inuyasha felt a smile tugging at his lips that he couldn’t fight.

“Oh my gosh,” she said, catching her breath, “no wonder he and Sango took those cooking classes together. She probably heard what he did to you and wanted to save herself from the same fate.”

He let out a little chuckle at that one. “I don’t doubt it,” he said.

This really wasn’t too bad. Kagome certainly had a personality, though he guessed he never really noticed before while hanging out at the bar with Miroku talking like he’d never run out of air. And her laughter was kind of infectious, especially when they took turns telling a ridiculous story about either one of their mutual friends. She always seemed like she never had anything to say other than smiley agreements and polite suggestions, but truth be told she had some spunk in her, a little bit of fiery edge to go with her brightness. He didn’t even realize they were eventually chatting in front of empty bowls until the waitress came around again and placed their bill on the table.

Suddenly, he was aware of his situation again. Wasn’t this supposed to be a half hour thing? Was he actually extending this little plot of Miroku and Sango’s? He needed to go find his fucking “friend” and hang him over the balcony or something for revenge, not dawdle here with all these damn pleasantries. Focus, Inuyasha. Remember how you ended up in this to begin with.

He rifled through his pockets and placed enough money on the table to at least cover his half, then pushed himself out of his chair, feeling heavy and sluggish from all the food but still motivated into action. “Well, I gotta get going. Tell Sango I hope Kirara feels better,” he said, already gathering his things to leave. Surprise at the suddenness flashed across Kagome’s face, but she nodded in understanding nonetheless.

“Mm, I’m sure she’s fine. You know how they are,” she jested and winked playfully, and he didn’t really know why she was winking, if it was a come on you know they’re lying about that right wink or if it was something else entirely, but in any case, he responded by blinking twice and then walking away with a wave from behind, not in any place to overthink things at the moment. “Keh, right.”

He headed briskly for Miroku’s apartment.

“Inuyasha! Good to see you, how–”

“Are you fucking serious.”

Miroku smiled genuinely and it made Inuyasha want to punch him in the face. “How did it go?”

“How did what go? Lunch for two? Nevermind that, how’s that sick cat of Sango’s? She throw up all over your shit yet? Because she should.” Inuyasha nudged his way through the doorframe where Miroku stood with that stupid face of his, and watched as the other man closed the door to his apartment. “Wait, no, of course. She wasn’t really sick! Because you’re a sneaky asshole and that shouldn’t surprise me by now but here we are.”

Miroku made a soothing gesture, attempting to look blameless and all things holy and right. “Ah, Inuyasha, you misjudge me. Sometimes, a good friend is not just one that will do whatever you want them to do. Sometimes, being a good friend means doing what you should do for others, even if those others might disagree with you. So you see, I was simply helping you along a path I am sure you will want to follow, though it may seem daunting at the moment.”

“Daunting?!” Inuyasha shouted, his face wild and hot with anger. “What the hell makes you think this is a ‘path I’ll want to follow’ or whatever the fuck?! What does that even mean?! Why do you have an agenda for my life suddenly?! Wh–”

“So it went badly?” Miroku lamented, deflated and with probably the most pathetic pout Inuyasha had ever seen. God, he was so punchable.

He plopped on the couch and hesitated for a moment, remembering an hour or so earlier when he’d met with Kagome for lunch. Badly? No… It went fine, really. But it’s the principle of it all! It was supposed to be the four of them, and they got ditched again! But it wasn’t like a death sentence or anything… Okay, it wasn’t terrible, fine. It was even kind of nice sometimes. And the food was really good. Is lunch ever really a disaster if the food is good? He thought not.

“It didn’t go badly, no. But still. What the hell, Miroku.”

He shouldn’t have given him any leeway with that response, because in the next moment, Miroku’s eyes were practically sparkling, and he looked like an excited child eagerly awaiting the next words out of Inuyasha’s mouth. “It didn’t? So it went well? What did you talk about? Do you like her even a little bit? Inuyasha, please, give me something. I’m positively giddy, I need to know.”

Inuyasha rubbed the bridge of his nose with regret. Is this what happened when you became a couple? Because he could swear he was talking to Sango right now, too. “I told you it wasn’t bad! What more do you want? We talked, we ate food, and then I left to come here and possibly kick your ass.”

“But,” Miroku stressed, urgent and leaning forward, begging the question. “But did you enjoy yourself?”

Inuyasha grit his teeth. “Fine. I did. She’s not awful to talk to. Are you happy? Positively giddy?” He propped his feet up on Miroku’s coffee table, leaning back and closing his eyes. “I’m so glad for you, really. You’re a great friend.”

“Your sarcasm is duly noted and dismissed because I know that deep down, you know I really am, Inuyasha,” he said dreamily, sitting beside him on the couch. “You know, you’ll thank me for this one day. I’ll be giving my best man speech at your wedding, and I’ll raise my glass and tell of the first date you and Kagome ever had, how it was all possible because of–ow! That’s my throw pillow! Easy, easy!”

“Shut the hell up!” Inuyasha growled, thwacking him a few more times and then getting up to leave. “I’m outta here. I can’t wait to not be around your sorry ass for a few days.”

Miroku rubbed the back of his head sheepishly while he watched his friend retreat, then suddenly remembered.

“Inuyasha! Sango’s birthday this weekend. We’ll meet up downtown to see the light show at the plaza fountain and go from there. See you then?”

“Oh, I don’t know, you gonna actually be there?”

“Well, it’s Sango’s birthday, so I mean, I’d say… Definitely?”

“Oh. Right,” Inuyasha blushed. “Well, I still don’t trust you. But okay.”

Miroku beamed. “We’ll see you there! I promise!”

The days came and went, and Inuyasha spent them tending to his own affairs, using some alone time to tune up a couple things at home and get in a few good workouts. For what it was worth, he did get an apology phone call from Sango for the lunch debacle earlier in the week. She’d mentioned how Miroku was the one that told Kagome about Kirara getting sick, but that he’d used her phone to do it. “I’m not one to lie about that sort of stuff,” she empathized. “But, well… Miroku convinced me that it would all work out okay. Still, I’m sorry for going along with it.”

He’d brushed her off, hearing the sincerity in her voice and repeating that it’s whatever, it happened, it’s not the end of the world. There’d been a small silence before she’d softly asked him, “But… She’s nice, isn’t she? I hope you two still had somewhat of a good time.”

“Uhh, yeah,” he’d stammered out. “I guess.”

“I’m glad. Take care, and see you in a couple days.”

Thinking back on the conversation made him antsy, or maybe guilty, or maybe both. He’d been keeping himself busy lately, but now, having time to remember hanging out with Kagome… He felt a little silly being so fussy about meeting up with her alone. She wasn’t a bad person to have lunch with. And if she wasn’t a bad person to have lunch with, she probably wasn’t a bad person to eat dinner with either, or whatever else. But the thought of giving Miroku any pleasure by letting him be right even on one account was just too much. Tell the guy Kagome isn’t the worst person in the world to hang out with, and he’s already checking rates for a bed and breakfast in the mountains.

In any case, it was Sango’s birthday, so he’d have to be on his best behavior, and that meant at the very least not giving either of them a hard time. And also making nice with Kagome. Which wouldn’t be all that hard, considering that they maybe, kind of, sort of hit it off…

“Oi! Kagome!” Inuyasha spotted her in the crowd, her vibrant green sweater easy to see in the sea of people swarmed together at the plaza. It was already sunset, which meant the light show would be starting not too long from now, and everyone was flocked together to watch. Did Sango really have to choose this packed of a place to start off the night? His senses were overwhelmed completely, loud noises and weird smells and he could swear he felt at least three people’s body parts on his own body parts and he’d really like to be home right now but it was Sango’s fucking birthday, so whatever.

Kagome inched her way over to him and his waving arm in the air, squeezing through the mass of people with a grimace. “Oh, thank goodness! I thought I’d never find you guys.” She looked over his shoulder and to either side of him, confusion spreading across her face. “Wait, where are Miroku and Sango?”

“I thought they were with you.” He narrowed his eyes.

Wonderful.

Not one to fall into this trap without a fight, Inuyasha took out his phone immediately and rifled through his contacts. Too loud to talk in this place, so a text would have to suffice. He tapped furiously to Miroku. ‘Where the hell are you two?’

‘Up at the front,’ he got in response a moment later. Inuyasha motioned to Kagome to start making their way toward the front, while he sent another text, ‘We’re in the back.’

Okay, this wasn’t completely a bust. They were apparently here somewhere, they’d just have to find them. Kagome made a bee-line toward the outside of the crowd, and Inuyasha followed, grateful to make the trek up to the front in a more open space instead of being surrounded by sweaty people. He rushed up to walk alongside her, mumbling a couple of choice words under his breathe like “seriously” and “unbelievable,” but upon catching up to her, he stopped.

Kagome looked… Happy. Not annoyed, unless she was just doing a great job of hiding it. She had something of a pep in her step, and Inuyasha found it a challenge to not feel a little more at ease with her around, her relaxation and happiness a powerful counter to the petulance bubbling up inside him. “Why are you so cheerful?” He questioned, trying to disguise his interest in her answer.

Her cheeks were lightly tinted, surprised he’d been paying attention to her appearance that much, but she gave him a small smile. “I actually love this light show. I remember coming into the city when I was a kid and I thought it was the most beautiful thing, and back then the pyrotechnics were probably nothing compared to now.” She nervously fidgeted with her hands and cast her gaze down while she walked.

Something about the way she talked about the lights made Inuyasha envious… He’d already seen this damn thing last year, and it was neat and all, but to have that sentimentality for it would probably make it seem spectacular. 

“Well,” Inuyasha offered, “I don’t know what it was like back then, but Sango flips out over it still at her age, so you’ll probably have the same reaction.” That seemed to satisfy her enough, and for the first time he wondered about Kagome outside of just this moment, walking together to the front of the plaza, and instead thought of what her face might look like during the light show, how wide her eyes might be when she sees the grand finale and all the colors illuminating the sky. No way she wouldn’t be impressed if she was that crazy about it as a kid. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least kind of anticipating her reaction.

They made it to the front and shimmied their way back into the crowd, keeping their eyes peeled for Miroku and Sango, but no luck. The sun had already set by now, and the lack of light made it that much more difficult to identify anyone in the swarm of people. Inuyasha felt himself losing his patience again. He was subjecting himself to sensory overload, and for what? Two people who probably weren’t even here?! At least he had Kagome to keep him company in the misery, but even then–

Wait, what? No. Nonononono. Absolutely not.

‘Where are you?!’ He texted Miroku again. This was too much. He and Kagome pushed through the crowd to end up at the other side of the front, him looking disheveled and just about done for the day, and her looking puzzled, still scanning her eyes across the pool of people to find their friends. Inuyasha damn near threw his phone against the pavement when he got a text back from Miroku that read ‘In the back! Where are you?’

“Come the fuck on!” He yelled, and Kagome was thankful for the loud buzz of the people around them to drown him out, otherwise she’d be mortified. He cocked his head back in the direction they came from. “They went where we were before. Of course.”

She laughed, if only to convey how ridiculous this all was. “Of course!” She repeated, and followed suit, heading down the stretch all the way back to the plaza entrance with him. “Well, at least we know they’re here?”

“Keh, for all we know he could be pulling our leg again. That’s the future lawyer for you,” he said, trying to calm himself down just a bit. “Always pulling something out of his ass.”

Kagome thought for a moment that maybe they could be ditching them again, but… On Sango’s birthday, of all days? It seemed unlikely. “Let’s keep trying. I’m sure we’ll find them!”

Her optimism wasn’t as off putting to him as it should have been. In fact, he kind of believed her. Before he could give any sort of response - agreeable or sarcastic, he hadn’t decided yet - the few streetlights around them dimmed, and cheers erupted from all around as orchestral music played loudly over the sound system. Kagome let out a gasp and turned to him. “It’s starting! It’s starting!” she tugged at his sleeve, and he just kind of… Let her do it. I mean, with as excited as she was, he didn’t want to put a damper on it by telling her to knock it off, I get it, I have eyes and ears, leggo of me already.

“Yeah, we’ll find them after,” he murmured to himself, watching the fountain begin to spray a fan of water over the lake in front of them while projections danced along the surface it created, lasers bouncing from the lake and reflecting off of Kagome’s bright, captivated eyes. The boom of fireworks shooting into the sky made them both jump, but she quickly recovered with a delighted giggle and a few claps of her hands. The fireworks burst across the night sky in an array of shapes and colors, sunbursts and falling stars and flowers, all in time with the swell of the instruments, and even he had to admit it was amazing, though maybe more so considering the girl next to him couldn’t tear her eyes away from the show for a second.

He wasn’t sure if it was just the excitement surrounding them, the music that was so loud it made the railing around them vibrate, or the abrupt blasts of fireworks, but Inuyasha’s heart was racing. It wasn’t a feeling he was used to, nor did he particularly like it, but it wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, either. Just… Different. A change. He turned his head toward Kagome, who was still staring with her mouth agape at the display before them, earrings catching the multicolored lights and when the hell did he start noticing her earrings, or even the smell of her perfume, amidst all the fried food and cologne and whatever else was stinking up the air, but she smelled sweet and her hair wasn’t usually too curly but today it kind of was, like maybe she spent a little extra time or something to make her hair look bouncier? Was that the word? Or maybe shinier? But for what who knows–

“Isn’t it beautiful?” She breathed out, hands clasped closely to her chest.

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

The rest of the night was loud, and smelled like alcohol, and yet everything to Inuyasha sounded as though it were filtered the way noise might carry to someone who was under water. They ended the night at a more lively, glitzy bar than their usual hangout spot, and Miroku had to ask him multiple times if he wanted to take a birthday shot (”How many fucking shots can be called a ‘birthday shot’ tonight?” “If it’s happening today, then it’s a birthday shot! Are you allergic to fun? How is that working out for you?”), because his mind was just… Elsewhere; figuring things out, reading into and making sense of expressions and gestures and questions and answers.

By the time the festivities drew to a close, Sango was giggly and red-faced and clung to Miroku’s neck like a bib, and Miroku’s face was that of a man so indulged and satisfied you could swear the birthday sex already fucking happened. Kagome, meanwhile, had a light flush, but nothing suggesting she was anywhere near Sango’s level. Inuyasha managed to come back to Earth for a moment to motion to the rest of them that it was time to round up and get going, ushering them out of the bar and preparing to wave down a taxi.

“Ah! Actually,” realization dawned on Kagome’s face, “my place isn’t far from here, maybe just a couple blocks.” She tucked her scarf into her coat and fished her gloves out of her pockets. “You guys go ahead, I’ll see you all tomorrow for brunch!”

A cab drove up to the curb and Miroku opened the door with a greeting to the driver, urging Sango to slide in while holding her hand to help steady her. “Inuyasha, you coming? Your place is on the way, right?”

He watched Kagome walk off without a care in the world. What the hell was she thinking? It was past 2 in the morning and she was tipsy, and they were close to downtown, and she was walking by herself–

Mentally, he kicked himself. 

“You two go on ahead,” he said over his shoulder. “And for your sake, give that poor girl some water when you get home.”

Miroku’s grin could split his face in two. “She’s in good hands, friend. You go take care of Kagome,” he read Inuyasha’s mind. “Can’t have a pretty girl out this late on her own.”

The other man let out a half-hearted keh before jogging to catch up to the aforementioned pretty girl (’It’s not that she’s pretty, okay, she’s alone at this time of night and that’s dangerous no matter what, shut up!’), calling out for her. Kagome turned to see him stop beside her. “Inuyasha…?” she said, waiting with expectant eyes.

He gulped. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just making sure you get home safe.” He knew his face would turn redder by the second, so he looked away from her curious face and hurried them along, pulling his scarf up to his nose for warmth.

She stood there for a moment before he heard the tell-tale sound of her heels clicking on the pavement as she followed, appearing again at his side. “That’s… Really nice of you. Thanks,” she said softly.

They walked the few blocks to her apartment in companionable silence, and she carried herself well, barely wobbling at times - though he figured it could have been her feet hurting and not the drinks she had that night. She occasionally gripped his arm during the last stretch, when it seemed her legs were about to give out, and she whispered “I’m sorry” and he muttered “It’s fine” from the safety of his scarf, thankful it covered as much of his face as it did. In hardly any time at all, they stopped in front of what Kagome identified as her place.

“Thank you again, Inuyasha,” she smiled up at him, and before he could mumble something detached in reply she threw her arms around him in a tight hug, her cheek pressed heavily to his chest, and time must have slowed for him because he could swear an entire minute passed during the five seconds of that hug, and he hoped hoped hoped she didn’t catch his heart beating during all that, because it sure fucking was, and it was also pounding in his ears, but how could he hear anything when the smell of her shampoo was just there right underneath his nose completely overwhelming every other sense of his, and suddenly he was under water again.

He was frozen in place and didn’t even notice Kagome scurry up to her building’s door while he remained there on the sidewalk, wide-eyed, a chorus of whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck singing in his head.

“Are you sure, Inuyasha? I actually was really craving crepes this morning–”

“Nah, it’s fine. Something came up.”

“Well, alright. This is my karma. I’ll let Kagome know?”

“I’ve got it.”

“You’re gonna reach out to Kagome of your own free will? Why, Inuy–”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, this is a little uncharacteristic, but not unwelcome! So tell m– hello? Helloooo?”

Kagome sat at a table for four, glossing over the menu and licking her lips in anticipation of sinking her teeth into a chocolate and strawberry crepe, or maybe banana coconut french toast, or no, what about an omelette? Maybe she could sucker Sango into ordering one thing and Kagome could get the other, and they could share! Brilliant. Genius.

She looked up from her menu just in time to see Inuyasha sit down across from her. Good, he got here first! She was hoping to have a minute to thank him for last night again, and apologize for being so tipsy and impulsive. Definitely the after-effects of too many cocktails. But, well, that was a little strange to get into out of nowhere… So she settled with a “good morning” and handed him a menu. “Looks like those two are ‘late’ again,” she joked, unable to help herself from giggling at their recent inside joke with one another. And it wasn’t a bad ice breaker, either!

Inuyasha blushed. “Um, actually, I… Told them not to come.”

Kagome blinked. “Oh,” she said, her mouth round in surprise as she pieced it together.

“Oh,” she repeated, quieter this time, and smiled.

[walktalldontcha]

Art trade for @jailhouserokk / @aquaburry! They requested that wonderfully agonizing angst - I hope it hits the spot! And I can’t thank you enough for wanting to do this with me ♥

Pairing: Johnny/Vance Rating: T (M at a push) Synopsis: There’s a savage, irreversible thunderstorm brewing inside Johnny in torrential bullets, licking momentous at the crackled bedrock of his aching sternum as he attempts to sellotape his own bestial thoughts back together into something which an be reasonably translated. Doubts corrode impressionable mind with titanium band suddenly feeling far too weighted -- restrictive, cuts off all circulation and has him reacting feverishly to everything he swore he once wanted. Vance has vivid sunlight in peridot eyes that burns so bright that, for a moment, Johnny begs for a savage hailstorm to rain down on them both and put an end to this ongoing moment of falsified clarity.

It should be raining, that’s the only clarified thought Johnny can successfully focus on at this particular moment of suspended mummification. It should be absolutely fucking thundering, those huge fat raindrops that hibernate on upturned lashes and crash on fallible glass with such brute force that the surrounding walls seem to creak in a decibel which would indicate impending collapse; there should be saturated cobwebs and their creator struggling to cling on to sloppy, rotting panes as the world around them simply screams monsoon season. Only then could his sudden state of dire melancholy and villainous imagery make even a single fucking modicum of sense. Perched on shallow hips knots an ethereal being who truly defied royalty, blood once undoubtedly stippled in cobalt along convoluted pathways now coated in multicolored oil; that aqua-blue vibrancy has transferred onto the collar of he, his father, and his ancestors before him. Vance has an enrapturing illumination to him, iridescent translucence that leaves Johnny’s worn fingertips aching as though covered in one thousand minuscule cuts; one day he’s certain to contaminate his boy, he certain of it, plague him with the same unnecessary darkness that likes to flood his own head and can only be silenced with the chalky influence of vile-tasting pills and a chase of aged whiskey. Butterfly kisses flounce across taut jaw, prettily freckled lips melting over unshaven speckle until those beautiful winged delights threaten to contort into moths; for even in instances of dewy intimacy, lingering touches and pecks designed to be chaste, Vance has a natural possessiveness to him he likes to pretend is well-hidden. When Johnny does not immediately respond - not even to roll tired eyes nor shrug him off with a scorned sigh of him being ‘annoying’ as is sometimes the custom - Vance views this as a open invitation to bring more of his kinetic energy. It’s rare for Johnny so be quite so visually numb. “Hi!” Vance shrieks as though they hadn’t been sitting together, engaging in something of a pickled silence, for well over an hour now. “Is there anybody in there?” Soft hands raise, ring finger extended, to click titanium band across Johnny’s all too familiar earring. The sound pings! far too violently, makes all acid tucked away within churning stomach formulate a cannonball of unspoken anxieties to crash down within his organs once more. Johnny leaps with it, swipes his own ear the very moment that Vance makes an unceremonious tumble into (thankfully carpeted) flooring; he hears the creak of ill-prepared patella skidding through loose fibers a minute later. “Don’t fuckin’ do that!” It’s all acid. Acid and mold and rust and his throat feels clawed raw every time his mind manipulates him into talking to Vance this way; scrapes him off his boots and leaves him crippled on baked asphalt. Vance doesn’t have to say anything. There’s incinerated welts in his vision that speaks absolute volumes, an inflamed braille wordlessly seeking out answers and spluttering apologies and suddenly - fuck - Vance feels two feet nothing. “Sorry.” He eventually splutters. Switchblade apologies. A carotid artery shattering word when uttered in that broken squeal. It should be raining. When he practiced this exact moment within his crippled mind over and over and over again, words and phrases clicking together like cheap plastic bricks to form something akin to logical sense, it was raining. Pouring. An apocalypse was dawning on the horizon. The tears which burst from Vance, corroding silvery tendrils on cheeks of garnet, fall in such robust torrential waves that they look like that hailstorm he had been promised; every droplet leaves his soul just as frostbitten. Johnny wants to choke. There’s a dusty little dish full of decorative pebbles tucked away in the corner and he’s certain that if he were to swallow them all his throat would close up and he’d hack hack wheeze his way to an immediate universe where Vance can’t look at him like he’s such a fucking criminal. “Stop that.” He whispers, as though such a command would somehow locate his fiance’s - boyfriend’s - off switch, sever all cables. Power out - time to do damage control, sweep their mistakes under heaped rug and try, in vain, to move on. Vance is in-fucking-consolable, presses strawberry welts into his temples beneath murky fingers and blunt nails, tries to scrub his tears clean but they coagulate and form anew. There’s a fist around his throat that’s coated in thistles, that squeezes his essence from rickety lungs, tries to remove every last molecule of happiness he once had stacked within him like daisy chains and loose dandelion seeds. Such revelations would always be inevitable; he swore he could hide behind ebony lashes and talks of matching tuxedos, that if they focused on how many rhinestones they wanted their Elvis impersonator to wear they could somehow make this high school romance something absolutely timeless. He’s a fucking idiot. Stupid, selfish, reckless little disaster held together by his own amplified psychosis. And he knows that he should let Johnny slither away like he so desires, press silver halo into wide-set palm and allow his love to taste freedom once again; let him taste purified oxygen in ways he hasn’t been able to for far too long. Sever the noose that he forcefully knotted against crushed jugular, allow him to genuinely l o v e again. But he’s nothing if not dedicated to embossed leather, ripped jeans, stale cologne and the way Johnny holds him, pushes all his pieces together until they click without once hesitating nor making him feel less remarkable for doing so. They maintained balance through that stark crimson thread the poets always wrote stances about. He should have known Johnny’s would fray if it was gnawed at often enough. One word. One decibel. One future impossibly snuffed. “Oh.” Johnny’s vision fades to onyx, severed vessels in his eyes making everything as horrifically dark as the shallow emptiness ricocheting inside compact skull; all those mistakes he has made - will continue to make - stacked together into heavy cement bricks. There’s blood in his mouth that he can’t spit up. Justification (or lack thereof)  would only tear freshly inflicted wounds, would gouge his fingertips directly within sunken holes to p u l l flesh and tissue apart; spit salt over sensitive nerves. There would be no recovery. But maybe he isn’t quite so far gone as to leave Vance dangling like that, trying to scoop his heart back into broken chest - sand licking the open junctures of his fingertips despite how Johnny promised to keep him safe; he hadn’t indicated protection from the agony he himself would have undoubtedly inflicted. “Don’t fuckin’ say ‘oh’ like that. Like yous surprised!” Johnny’s hands are pressed into fists, bladed lock, pressed spine-first into cemented doorway. He cannot remember when he stumbled toward the nearest escape route, when his natural instincts to flee over force had suddenly kicked into overdrive, but if Vance keeps looking at him like he’s a steel blooded criminal finally unmasked he’s going to go running for the hills til his ankles crack clean off, broken chips of flecked marble. “You ain’t really think marryin’ me, bein’ my... my husband was gonna work, did you? Did y’really think I’d be able t’jus’ whisk y’away t’fuckin’ never-land like yous deservin’?” There’s a pain in his throat, the very stones he was too afraid to swallow bubbling back up, and when he looks at Vance all he can see is moonlight wilted by frost; rain. “You ain’t get it Vance. I’s gonna ruin you. I can’t keep y’tied t’me forever. Yous talented n’fuckin’ gorgeous n’I’s gonna be nothin’ but some joke who thinks with his fists firsts. I love you too much t’let you be known as the fool who married Johnny Vincent. I ain’t gonna let you be the man whose husband ran out on ‘im.” Bones scraped raw, mandible cracking, Vance’s sobs playing like broken records on the back of his mind. If he could find that articulated crevice of skin located inside his joints he could peel it clean from bone. If you squint, count shadows and effectively decoupage silhouettes together, add a sprinkle of decades spent suffocating under collegiate weights, painting cartoon smiles on Vance’s face until he can pretend to taste ambrosia when in actuality he settled for a fucking loser, Johnny is cookie cutter carbon copy of his own father. He’ll break, decimate, then flake. Leave Vance incomplete, bleeding and disemboweled during a volatile windstorm. And it’ll be raining. “You won’t,” Vance speak so quietly, cotton lungs, that he almost doesn’t realize the vocabulary comes from his own sleek lips all chapped up from his own trauma; from shaking quite so viciously. “You won’t be a joke. You won’t walk out on me. You won’t.” “How the fuck d’you know? I’m fuckin’ poison Vance. I fuck up everything. I’m a fuckin’ deadbeat like him.” There’s an unknown adrenaline that shoots Vance full of confetti and freshly lit dynamite, implosive, scattered prisms of fractured light throughout his joints until he’s skidding to a halt in front of his... Johnny. His fingertips are coated is tears, salt, pressing loose pebbles on either side of honeyed cheeks; waterlogged visions uniting until suddenly there’s a clash. a boom. a collapse. "You ain’t gonna leave me because I need you. An’ you need me.” Like blood coiling crimson hot betwixt copper veins, carrying explicit oxygen and patchwork endorphins through overgrown foliage that threatens to paint vessels mahogany with doubt; they truly n e e d each other. Their own prepackaged medication sealed within cushioned lips and wandering tongue, freshly prescribed antidotes for their own crippling mental paralysis. Johnny isn’t crying but he’s stumbling toward the very precipice of an unknown abyss, crystallized bedrock and an inflamed agony prodding across spiderweb lashes. Spacious palms holding onto Vance’s hips for ear fucking life, licking away those crisp tears continuing to tumble in a forceful shower down Vance’s heavily freckled features - through spiced nutmeg and rose - and he kisses his apologies on bowed lips. Their teeth clack. Chests rattle. Cool metal swallows exposed skin as the shudder into one and other, attempt to thaw through Johnny’s anxiety and remind Vance that fuck does he matter. They can do this produce wedding bells and exchange vows and borrow names from one and other in pleasant greeting. And on their wedding day, when futures glisten leather and lace with an entire army of supporters lodged beside them, it absolutely will not be raining.