#(idk how to tell which is which at this point and i dont really care as long as it gives me happy chemicals)
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!!
#warrior cats#asc#yarrow speaks#a starless clan#warrior cats sky#warrior cats shadow#wc criticism#uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book#sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation#turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense#bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day.#thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem#i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented#idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader#but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times-#-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just.#you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two#bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day-#then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan-#-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now#hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this#but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point
#like one of the main#Idk if theme is the right word#but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically#is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls#NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON#like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories#is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them#like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’#at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they?#right back in Gotham#which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham#but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis#and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov#that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd#what im saying is that like#in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao#like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral#or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved#it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule#yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t#do it#or at least partly#even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him#everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason#should leave is all I’m saying#that’s why Dick never got away#it’s still all about Bruce#even if we don’t want it to be#reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind#if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…
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head in hands heand in hands
#paper is talking#Me when my dad is telling me how good and useful ai art is#How it would be so much easier for me to draw if i used it#That i can just skip the ‘meaningless’ stuff and get exactly my ideas made#Basically like the entire drawing process is meaningless and isnt important#Im not that good at speaking chinese but i said sometihng like ‘then i dont need to draw’ meaning like theres no point in me drawing at all#But i didnt really say the right words to get that meaning across so he said exactly!#Like.#head in hands right now guys#Theres no point in drawing anything if i use ai to make it#Like idk how to explain this in a way that he will understand in a way that isn’t ‘yeah! See now you dont have to work as hard and its so m#So much easier!’#Idk why but him suggesting whole heartedly that i use ai to draw just ruined my mood eniterely#WHATS THE POINT!!!#In drawing amber and sayu and all my ocs if im not drawing it!!#Whats the point in drawing anything ever agian#Drawing is so fun becuase i made that.#I made that with my own two hands#And its specifically mine. I made that#Like i took the time to figure out how to draw the eye to look just rihgt#i took the time to figure out which colors looked bettter and i took the time to look back at the references and study the characters cloth#s and realize with terror that they have 32847298374 details#I took the time to just not draw all those details#I tookt he time to make it and it is part of me#I dont care if its just amber standing there drawing 548 i made that!#He thinks that the amount of time and effort is a hassle and a problem that should be solved cause it ‘gets in the way of the#Creative process’#This is the creaive process!!!!#This is the point!!#Top ten reasons im balding
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another shit fucking day but in the most casual way possible bc all i did was sulk study cry study sulk and finally, sulk in the shower. chai next and then bed . fuck my stupid baka life forrealsies
#i almost had an argument w my mother over nothing at one point bc i was so anxious about nothing and everything at once and well#i keep thinking. idk what im doing anything for anymore#like when we were arguing i was like wait what if she brings up how shes giving me a ride to uni multiple times this week#and then i was like wait if she says that. I'll just tell her not to. and then ill skip class. and then ill drop my classes and get a refund#and then ill drop out of uni. and then ill kill myself!#mind you i was thinking about all of this and the argument didnt even go in that direction in the end bc it was over very quickly#ljke. what ks wrong with me#i keep thinking that if my parents get pissed at me for being good for nothing despite me trying my hardest not to be#i really will end it all finally like Actually#bc i dont understand anymore. why are they paying for my stupid medication and tuition#theyre too nice to me#i know they expect me to send them money in their ideal imagined scenario in which i get a good job after getting a masters degree#and i know they expect that I'll take care of them when theyre old bc in their ideal. imagined. scenario. i 1) dont off myself in the next#few years 2) am not a lesbian who ruins the whole family dynamic by coming out and 3) get a well paying job and a husband#so. so yeah#but right NOW theyre nice to me and they take care of me but also i think everything is pointless but i try anyway because they take care#of me and they want me to be well but how am i supposed to be Get Well if i don't believe in myself#like i dont think thats possible really.#maybe a tiny bit? like maybe i won't be Well but i can be better. yeah i can do that#so i guess thats why im still trying#but then it's like. being Better is so. marginally different from being at rock bottom in a way#like yeah its significant improvement clinically but to me it's still casually miserable in its own unique way bc it's better but its still#very much present lingering choking me etc#so that brings me to the following:#im trying so hard but for what exactly? 'just keep going!' but at what cost? but why when im still like this?#z.post
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...
#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data#which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done#for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior#so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip.#also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a#collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things.#and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more#devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close#bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the#country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will#instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a#different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad#a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi#intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see#them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize#the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b#doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped#that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying#less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating#unrelated
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this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.
#moots & friends keep sending me shit and im just like. lmfao this is embarrassing for YOU guys. i stand by everything ive said actually.#i'm sorry you think trying to have a genuine conversation about harmful behaviours is cringe#you consider yourself an activist and will retweet every fucking post abt current events#but you can't actually be bothered to make a positive change in your own life.........#the fact that most of them stop responding after they realize im not going to freak out and give them something emotional is very telling#it's not even like most of them disagree they literally just want to make fun of me for...... caring. like ok. weird hill to die on idk#im at the point where im considering privating my tweets just so i dont continue to get ppl responding but#i think its important that ppl can see my responses. because i stand by them and clearly other ppl do too#theres been a lot of mixed responses but a lot of people have actually ended up agreeing with me after some back and forth#which i appreciate. i didnt want to start fuckin. twitter drama. but like. ill take it#i dont interact with sunnyblr at all so i think this is a good opportunity to potentially change at least a few ppls perspectives#and if youre too far gone to the point where you think that someone caring about perpetuating homophobic rhetoric is funny#i. dont really want to interact with you anyway lol. get better soon xoxo#last post about this on here im. putting this to rest.#ada speaks#genuinely disgusting how many of these ppl will say shit like. ppl are dying. like... yeah. what are YOU doing to help.#retweeting a donation link or someones random carrd doesnt do shit actually. performative armchair activism.#same ppl tweeting vapid shit while acting like theyre above engaging with me on this#i was venting about people qrting glenns old tweets with stupid shit because it was clogging my tl actually lol
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Replaying p3 is such a frightening experience because it forces me to remember Ikutski is a real character that exists
#persona#the klock keeps ticking#like. idk what they put in this guy that makes him so forgettable to me but its like#i literally forget he exists every single time i boot up the game#and even when i remember beforehand that hes gonna be there so i need to anticipate him. i still get jumpscared when i see him#i dont think there are enough words in the world to emphasize how much i hate this guy#forget madarame forget teddie THIS GUY this fucking yassified ben franklin bitch? hes the worst persona character#he doesnt even do jack shit its literally all mitsuru like every time he shows up to help he ends up doing absolutely nothing#and mitsuru has to pick up the slack#also like when i complain about the original p3 voice acting im. mostly complaining about him#im sure his VA is very talented has probably voiced characters i know and love but god like#its so bad in this game he sounds so robotic and fuzzy its like theres big red arrows pointing at him#saying THIS GUY IS BORING AND IS JUST HERE TO EXPLAIN PLOT STUFF YOU DIDNT EVEN NEED HIM TO TELL YOU#also my hatred of Ikutski fuels my growing protectiveness towards mitsuru#cuz hes just so incompetent unreliable just creates more work for her but then acts like hes a trustworthy adult#and its so sad cuz all mitsuru needs is like. any positive mentor who can be responsible for her#and all she gets is this shit and while i think its funny how obviously evil Ikutski is its also like#dont blame mitsuru or really any of these characters for a second for not realizing it cuz like. its not like she has any frame of reference#for how a caring responsible adult behaves! and hes with the kirijo group which she has to trust cuz its all shes ever known#and she has to base her entire life around the group and never step out of line or question authority!#its a very interesting dynamic but also unfortunately Ikutski is not a very interesting character#oh boy do i try to make him interesting when i write him but god i just hate him so much lol#running him over with a bus i hate you stupid bitch get out of my head 👺👺👺
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my graphics teacher is like one of those high school teachers whos always like "this is so important youre gonna use this in college!" except hes like. "youre gonna use this when youre working as a graphic designer!" and today he was like "guys youre all gonna need this next semester when you're in the next level graphic design class!' Except this class is a basic level graphic computer applications class that every single visual arts student has to take regardless of specific major so like. personally i know I will most likely never have to open indesign again after this class is over. And also that i do not have to nor will i elect to take any other graphic design classes for the rest of my major. so i dont think thats true.
#it annoys me sooo much idk why. He bugs me in general bc hes super gruff and very high and mighty about his expectations like he will never#ever tell us something or mention it SO briefly and then act like its the end of the world later when we dont know it#i mean i guess this is another example of that like he'll always be like guys this is really bad that you dont know this bc youre gonna get#fired as a graphic designer if you dont.#which is like. okay why would i care it is literally not my goal to be a graphic designer and im not going to school#for it. like do you know what class youre even teaching. im pretty sure MOST of the people in here are not graphic design majors theres lik#4 other majors in the visual arts umbrella at my school that all require this class#like the point of this class is just to learn the basics of how adobe programs work. thats it.#anyway. basically i am ready for this semester to be over.
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FOUND A FULL PLAYLIST OF MY CURRENT HYPERFIXATION I CAN WATCH FOR FREE LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!
#thank you internet archive i owe you my LIFE#thought id never be able to finish it bc my friend and i were watching it together before she moved away#she has all the dvds bc shes the one that got me into it#but now!!! i can finish the series!!!!!#and we can watch it together over the phone :D#its V by the way is anyone surprised#its a bit out of order at the start but it has both miniseries‚ the original tv series‚ and the 2009 reboot#i dont particularly care about the reboot but the fact theyre all in the same place is very cool to me!!!#very excited I get to see my silly alien man and his dumbass human <3#very excited to cry over Martin and meet his brother Philip#and espescially Mike's reaction to finding out Martin has a twin brother 👀#Mike and Martin's relationship is my favorite thing so I'm very excited to see how he and Philip interact :)#hehe special interest/hyperfixation go brrrrrrrrr#(idk how to tell which is which at this point and i dont really care as long as it gives me happy chemicals)#v-posting
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new, without you. [ sae itoshi ]
cw: angst no comfort, established relationship/ break-up, gn! reader. notes: idk why i'm in such an angst writing stage. not proofread.
dating isn't permitted.
point blank. it was a a flat, outright rule that was printed on his contract. sae's hand tightened around his pen, brows pinched, and eyes narrowed. his signature was easy to write, so he wasn't hesitant to accidentally make it ugly, but he was afraid.
sae shivered at the truth that your tears would soon run down your soft cheeks. soon? he surprised himself with how quickly he accepted it. his heels dragged as he walked home. you would be there. his eyes softened as the familiar sound of your voice lingered in the shell of his ears,
"c'mon, sae! we should celebrate!"
his keys jingled as he hesitantly brought them to his door handle. there were two shoes at his apartment door, his and yours. sae's lips twitches as he started at your half-tied laces, always scolding you for never tying your shoes. his shoulders relaxed as he remembered going shoping with you for those shoes, because you worked your old ones until they had holes.
he remembered how he promised you would never even think about holes in your shoes again. or counting your bills. or rationing groceries. he didn't care whether you did or not. you were beautiful to him. a glowing sun that enlightened his world that was once only focued on his obsession. you filled his heart with something else, you were sae's first true love, no matter how much he loved football.
the cold air stung his eyes as the key turned in the lock, the door swinging open with a exhausted squeal. gasp. footsteps.
"sae! how did it—"
"let's break up."
the way your whole expression slowly lost it's brightness drew out a fear sae didn't think he would feel. regret. he wanted to shove his hands in his mouth and rip out his tongue for saying such disgusting words. his head spun as your bright, beautiful eyes—the same ones he would helplessly stare into—dimmed and turned away.
it was quiet, barely whispers as you pointed him to the dinner you made, grabbing your purse. each of your footsteps felt like being crushed under an elephant of guilt. your shaking breath felt like a merciless hand wringing his neck. sae felt like his heart stopped beating, his earth stopped spinning, his sun had exploded.
you shoes were now on your feet, half-tied as they always were. your head was hung low, toes tapping nervously as you forced out—sae could hear the lump in your throat and the tears in your eyes, which only made his hand twitch at his side as he wanted to pull you close and take everything back—your last bit of kindness,
"good luck in u-20, sae."
he paused, silent as your eyes finally met his. your eyes were watery and his were burning as they squinted to fight back his own tears. sae felt his stomach churning, desperately telling him that this wasn't right, a true, instinctual persuit against what he was doing. sae let his lips part, the words stumbling out of his mouth before he could think of they could do to you. to the both of you.
"i don't need your luck."
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
directory
notes: mm... i dont really like this.
#drabble#angst#itoshi sae x reader#sae itoshi#sae x reader#sae x you#sae x y/n#blue lock#blue lock manga#angst fic#bllk x reader#bllk manga#itoshi sae#bllk x you#itoshi sae x you#itoshi sae x y/n#bllk#angst no comfort
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No One’s Sidekick
Jason Todd x teen!reader
warnings: needles and guns and death mentions ya know
a/n: ok i was gonna do headcanons for this but honestly it sparked a lot of inspiration so im actually writing a oneshot for it this is a ONE IN A MILLION CHANCE bc im very picky about when to write oneshots ily. might do hcs also just cuz arkham knight is my passion. (honestly i should have just done hcs idk if i like where i went with this LMAO)
prompt: anonymous: “hi idk if you write Arkham Jason Todd but if if you do is it possible if you can do a Arkham Jason Todd x fem teen reader and reader is his sidekick”
Imagine a life where you had nothing, you were the lowest anyone could go, and you were just a kid. Now imagine that there was someone standing in front of you, telling that same story, and offering you a chance to turn it all around because they knew how it felt to be you.
That someone was Jason Todd. You found each other by chance, somewhere in the Gotham slums. He walked past you down a dimly lit alley full of used needles and rotting trash, noticing a kid just a few years younger hiding from the world. You noticed a guy in a hoodie hiding a nasty scar on his cheek.
He reached out a hand, hoping you’d take it. He saw a look in your eyes that you’d been like this a while. And you might have noticed the same in his. Which is why after trusting nobody for years, you took this stranger’s hand. “I remember when I was a kid waiting in shitty places woth the hope someday it’d change. And it did one day. Someone found me and changed my life.” He explained after buying you a burger and fries.
“Was it for the better?” You asked him with a mouthful of food.
“I don’t know anymore.” He looked shaken himself, and you could tell by the bags under his eyes this may have been a subject that kept him up at night, maybe took up his waking moments, too. “How long have you been alone?”
“Practically forever. Every once in a while I felt like I was on steady ground and then…something always happens.” You sighed, taking a sip of your soda. “But I learned how to get by on my own. I had to. And I have to protect myself.” Jason raised a brow.
“You protect yourself yet you’re willing to go off with a stranger?” He asked, giving you a warm smile.
“Jason, right?” He nodded at the question. “Jason Todd?” His expression dropped. Before he could stammer out a response, you leaned back on your side of the booth and said, “everyone around here knows you one way or another, but everyone thought you were dead after you disappeared.”
“Did you know who I was when you came here with me?” Jason spoke lowly.
“Nope.” You flatly responded. “But I figured it out along the way. You used to live in my building when I was a kid, I knew I recognized you from somewhere.”
“3B?” He asked.
“That’s the one. You remember?” You smiled.
“I remember a scared little kid with dirt all over their face no matter what time of day.” You both chuckled. “Wow, it’s been a long time. I guess I’m glad we ran into each other.”
“It’s nice. I just don’t know where to go from here.” You took the last few bites from your meal, averting your eyes from his gaze, nervous for what was to come, but also hopeful. At this point, you didn’t care what you did or where you went, as long as you had some kind of purpose. Spending your youth in sleeping in wet boxes or crashing on a sunken-in, stained couch was no longer something you could stand doing.
“I had an idea. A while ago. But I just didn’t know how to go about it.” He revealed with a long pause, mustering up better details to share. “I dont know. It sounds crazy, but maybe not anymore.”
“Can you get to the point?” You tilted your head, eager for a bit more.
“Yeah, yeah…” He gulped. “I talked to this guy, it was after some really bad shit went down,” he brushed his scarred cheek, “this high-profile assassin wanted to train me—work with me. There are some demons I have to face, but I need some help to get ready.” You stared blankly for a minute, fingernail scratching the tabletop as you thought about his words. “It’s out of the country, somewhere in South America.”
“You’re crazy.” You stated. “I’m in.” Jason’s eyes widened. “Anything to get me out of Gotham. And you’re Jason Todd, I’d trust you with my life, even after all this time.” His expression softened and he kind of chuckled, in disbelief of you and himself.
“I—I guess I gotta go make a call.” Jason knocked his hand on the table. “Go ahead and order dessert, I’ll be back in a few.” He stepped out the front door and opened his phone, scrolling down to a contact labeled “S. Wilson.” It rang twice. “I’m in, and one more will be joining us.”
“I’ll make the arrangements for your travels, stay on the line.” Said Slade, there were faint keyboard clicks. “I have a private jet that awaits you at eight a.m. tomorrow. I will send you the address, don’t be late.” The phonecall ended abruptly and Jason went back to your table, finding you eating a slice of pie.
“Tomorrow morning we get to fly in a private jet.” Jason saw your face light up. “Never been?”
—————
Venezuela was incredible to you, even if it was a bit more humid than you were used to. On the plane ride, Jason told you everything. He didn’t spare one detail, he didn’t care. You were another Gotham City orphan with a dark past and a bright future. You two were ready for anything.
It was grueling. It was incredible. It was nothing you’d experienced before. Which was terrifying. But invigorating. You could tell Jason felt right back in his element, but you were desperately trying to catch up. He’d had much training before this, relevant to the current situation. You’re training went as far as standard Gotham Slums scuffling. Your skills included switchblade maneuvers, aiming for the crotch, running from trouble and climbing from trouble. Nothing like this ever seemed possible for you. But Jason knew what it felt like to be brought from your level to his. And as Deathstroke brought Jason to his level, he’d make sure you’d catch up.
—————
“I think you two are ready.” Slade announced as both of you stood before him. Straight backs, eyes forward, and arms behind your backs. “The plan is to be enacted soon, and you,” he turned his attention to Jason, “it’s up to you what we do from here. Gotham City finally meets its match?” He suggested. Jason nodded his head once and you followed. And so it began, the planning phase.
—————
You looked at Gotham from down below. Smaller than you remembered. The whirring of the helicopter blades lulled you away from reality for a few moments before Jason tapped you, motioning for you to come up front with him. You slid your headset on and heard him begin barking orders at the militia before setting your comms to private. “How’s it feel?” Jason asked you.
“I don’t know, actually.” You replied, doing a final check to make sure your guns were loaded and secured. “What about you?”
“It feels like I’m finally getting my revenge.” His voice modulator sent a chill down your spine and you soon landed in Gotham. The plan went off without a hitch. Gotham evacuated, scum running loose, Batman distracted, and his allies scattered. It was exciting, but something was off. Scarecrow’s plan didn’t sit well with you. It was gruesome, even to you. You never really cared about anyone but yourself, but as Jason lost his humanity, you gained it. “I’ve got your back, y/n. You got mine?”
“Always, Knight.” He chuckled as the chopper began to descend. “Let’s kill the Batman.”
taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @deanzboyfriend //
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#arkham knight x reader#arkham knight imagine#arkham knight#batman arkham knight#dc comics#dc comics x reader#dc comics imagine#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood imagine
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Twisted Wonderland Senior Headcanons
A/N: i am very tired as i write this, BIBI is saving my life force. I just got screamed at by my mom but the fans (no one) can’t wait 😎. Im sorry Lilia’s is kind of short, im pretty high and have been pushing this off for days.
Contents: Various non romantic headcanons for the seniors in TWST
Trigger warnings (if any): Religion mentions (Trey’s + Leona’s + Vil’s + Rook’s + Idia’s part), eating disorders (Vil’s part), stalking mentions (Rook’s part… no surprise), minor adult themes (idia’s part)
Trey Clover
I might have this feeling only because i also bake but he has beef with multiple people about bread.
Like i mean people spreading misinformation (NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO ADD SUGAR INTO BREAD, IT DOESN’T DO MUCH)
Besides my personal beef with ig bakers…
He doesn’t listen to music, lofi background stuff at best.
He’d listen to anything someone put on with no complaint but he doesn’t feel the need for music for mundane things
With his obsession with brushing teeth i feel like he loves mint
Like i mean spearmint gum constantly, mint chocolate chip ice cream, idk mint leaves in drinks?
Bro can not understand if someone else doesn’t like mint
I believe he is an Atheist living in a Christian household
Its probably brought up rarely but he just doesn’t really believe that saying grace before dinner does anything
I think he’s way too empathetic for his own good, i mean like excusing lots of harmful things due to how someone was raised
(Totally didn’t mean to refer to Riddle but whatevs)
Cater Diamond
Get this man into kpop NOW
I feel he is rivaling Idia with his, honestly abusive, amount of slang
I dont think anyone who isn’t chronically online could stand to hear his thoughts
Or who isn’t insanely mentally unstable
But he pulls shit like “she=onika ate=burgers” every single chance he gets
Which i wont blame him for that, i pull medieval slang every second i can too
He loves brittany broski with his whole heart and soul
Not only is she funny as hell but she can also be very serious in a blink of an eye
On the low he enjoys those insider videos
He likes watching them and pausing them to argue the point to no one
Going back to kpop briefly…
He loves Aespa
Do i know any of the members of Aespa to tell you my assumed bias? No.
Also loves Zerobaseone
Ricky bias
Although i may be biased (oh my a silly pun, you scoundrel)
I do believe that he is a funny person but he is very repressed
I dont mean to make this a whole angst post but he genuinely doesn’t understand how he can express it
He is very sensitive to rejection so i think that leads him to extreme lengths to be liked
And I’m not just talking about how he acts a certain way to please others
I mean a deep rooted guilt for not being what someone wanted
Leona Kingscholar
…all my headcanons for him are purely how I’d personally treat him
Someone get this man a mukbang video and a comfy bed
He barely listens to music but when he does its some rnb stuff
He doesnt care for stuff thats too loud but he does like soft music even if he isnt open about it
I need to make him see nekomimi switch, twitter.gov, and anything else that has catgirls/boys so i can see his reaction
I dont think he holds many physical attributes to lions besides the ears, tail, and teeth but he most definitely holds many reactions and other stuff
Like he is literally sleeping in a garden most the time
He has long(er) nails and hates cutting them
Erm… idk man
I think he had a big Religious breakdown in his childhood
I dont really know what Religion he’d be to start with(due to my lack of knowledge of Religion in Africa) but he’d have the whole moment of betrayal
And then he’s completely Atheist for the rest of his life
Vil Schoenheit
He has a side account where he responds to all his hate comments
For music taste… hear me out…
He likes, on the low, vkei
But no metal like kaneto juusei or gulu gulu I mean malice mizer
He enjoys the instrumental along with the twists they take on classical
Moi meme motie x Vil Schoenheit collab when???
He 100% doesn’t express it though, he tells the public he likes whatever’s popular
I feel like, this may or may not be me projecting, he’s a hellenist
Obviously worshipping Aphrodite and has an altar for her which he never publicly speaks of but is not hiding
heres a bit of TW for eds + that type of stuff
I feel like he has an extremely bad relationship with food
He doesnt see it as something to nourish your body but instead a sort of numbers game
Like with a limit of however much someone says and the whole game is to stay under that number in calories
Besides that i feel he’s very orthorexic to the point he’d refuse to eat something if it looked too “bad” to him
(End of tw)
I know he has a very argued gender identity but i dont think he’s too confused by it
He’s very firm that he is who he is and he never seemed to have much of an inside problem with it
Maybe he got poked fun at a few times but thats all his problems with it
Rook Hunt
Get this man away from me
He is in many fandoms and somehow knows everything going on all the time
Bro personally took down Nayeon’s stalker by himself
But seriously i dont think his intentions are bad, i think he is just trying to be on top of everything in the worst was possible
He doesn’t really think its creepy himself but most the time he is
He is also a Hellenist who worships Aphrodite but also Artemis
He is so very open about his Religion
He makes those hopecore videos on tiktok and has amassed 10k followers but no one knows its him
Yearns to be in the south/midwest for the scenery
Just yearns in general
Bro is single handedly bringing back male yearning and being chalant
Saw bridgerton as a normal tuesday for him
1000 hours on c.ai
I will not, and should not, elaborate.
Is that projecting? Yes. Do i care? No.
He has the longest and some how most effective body/skincare routine ever
I mean like he’d do some shit like “once in a blue moon bath in pure hyaluronic acid for 2.5 hours on the dot”
He loves absolutely everything on everyone and its to a detriment to me personally
Hooked nose? Loved. Chubby? Love. Literally anything unconventional? Consider yourself yearned for.
He listens to anything and everything
Although he cant stand songs about break ups or anything to do with hate
Put this man on “doughnut” by TWICE now.
Idia Shroud
Yes… give me this nerdy man…
He 100% (mostly canon) loves jpop idols
Prolly an akb48 stan
I cant even get started on everything he likes
But i can tell y’all 100% that he is not overly flirty or overly easy to fluster
Istg all i see is either big dom idia or uwu shy boy idia
And both are wrong (in my opinion ig)
He starts arguments about anything and everything in game chats
Because he’s grown up in this big company family he was forced to appear better that how he truly acts so i believe that would also entail with being a die hard hellenist
But without any spotlights he does care, he just likes his games and anime
Speaking of anime…
He loves shoujo, he’s in hiding though
He literally wants to be sawako from “from me to you” but will never say it
Somebody come get this man
If anyone asks he just loves Naruto and One Piece
But we know the truth…
Istg he plays an absurd amount of eroges for the plot
He’s depraved on twitter
Two accounts, one for public image and the other for the unspeakable
Do NOT let him find any dating advice on there cause he will take it and act like a fool
He loves breakcore music and anime intros and thats about it
Besides his jpop idols
I dont think he like kpop, for some reason he just has a grudge against some fans
A little self insert but he 100% has autism (as we all know…) but he also has arfid
For those who dont know… arfid is “avoidant restrictive food intake disorder” which is like you are a very picky eater
He aint struggling with it, he succeeding (LYING)
Malleus Draconia
Get this man a cat or some shit like that
Can someone please make him watch all of aphmau Minecraft diaries and then twilight back to back
This strange individual has that man from the notebook shaking in fear
Bros a hopeful romantic
Randomly says inspiration quotes that you cant find anywhere online
It just came from his heart
He only listens to classical songs he knows how to play
Though i’d doubt if you showed him something he’d dislike it
Bros the yearner
I showed up to the yearning contest and went into anaphylactic shock at the sight of him there
He has honestly researched every single religion for fun
Highlight god damn bible verses for no reason
He needs to make an iceberg of every single religion and why they are good/bad
I just know he has an insane knowledge of lore in any book he’s ever read
Please make him watch smiling friends
You’d have to pause every 5 seconds so he can process it
You could make him do anything tbh, just be like “you should come watch *whatever it is* with me” and bro is outside your door
For shame with the amazing attention towards practically anyone who shows anything besides fear or hatred comes the fact he is unaware of most modern things
He has a tamagotchi and thats it man, get him a 3ds at least
He cant use a phone, cant use a computer, and barely understands the concept of social media
But at least he has the spirit to learn
Lilia Vanrouge
Do i even put him as a senior?
Bro is pushing some mystical number that no one knows
He’s like one of those grandmas that never mention their age and whenever its brought up all they say is “never ask a woman her age”
… perchance a bit controversial but i think he’s bad at cooking on purpose
Ain’t no way someone fucks up cooking THAT bad
I think he really likes horror games
And i dont mean those shitty mascot horrors like poppys playtime
I mean fatal frame, faith, and visage type shit
He listens to breakcore too
I dont make the rules
Hes a gamer grandpa so he either has to have pretty good taste in games/music or the absolute worst
HE’D LOVE GULU GULU AND VKEI
Hes practically already mana sama
Hes got all the moi meme motie dresses
Get grandpa off taobao NOW
I want my nyanya madoka dress, and i will not be stopped by some twinkish old man.
#trey clover x reader#trey clover#trey x reader#cater diamond#cater x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingsholar x reader#leona x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#vil x reader#rook x reader#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#idia x reader#malleus x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#lilia x reader#im so tired
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saw a few posts talking about ganondorf and while i dont want to uh .. risk having to argue with strangers ... i cant shut up entirely (you know me)
(in my opinion that is probably missing alot or just not as well read as a lot of others since i really just say what i feel instead of knowing what im talking about-)
its kinda hard to really talk about him bc hes so .... steeped into tired old stereotypes and harmful tropes with intentionally so little else, if anything, that you almost always end up playing into them if you just take what canon tells you (and alot of people love defending it too :/ )
to what degree is it really his character and what is literally just some things that were decided he does to make it clear hes the one note evil guy, to justify whatever horror is done to him and overshadow/bury what anyone else has done, to not think about maybe he had a point bc look how much bad stuff he does! if you made him fight for the freedom/sovereignity of his own people against an oppressive hyrule he would be in the right- so ACTUALLY he opresses them violently and selfishly even WORSE and then wants to murder everyone tm that dont bow to him bc thats what evil people do! and hyrule is justified in taking them over in turn bc their rule wont opress them :)
its like a game of trying to one up whatever hyrule did with something more bad tm bc otherwise it gets hard to justify killing him over and over
im not saying hes not allowed to be prideful, selfish or violent of whatever, but you gotta know that all of that IS one of those ways that is supposed to make it clear how evil tm the desert guy is; it doesnt matter what hyrule has done bc look! ganondorf is so much worse! and im sure hyrule had their reasons :)
hes never actually allowed to interact with his own people, hes isolated/alienated from them and their culture constantly, hes their king yet he .... violently takes over "free" gerudo villages (what? what for?? what does "free" even mean? they werent following him? their king?? were they .. allied with hyrule, who are good tm, which means they were living in paradise aka "free"? (bc they are good ones tm bc they rejected their evil one in a hundred year man king ruling violently over only women .. *cough*)), yet hes never seen fighting alongside his own people (the most is them .. silently serving him in what, one scene??) and then he drops them the second he has evil MONSTERS to fight for him instead and orders them to kill every living thing or something bc thats obviously evil, he doesnt even care about his own people! how evil! why would he do that? idk, hes the sole, selfish violent evil man opressing his own people, who are all women! that what they do! and WE need to free them from HIM (and they should be thankful to us for it and try to attone for ever having birthed him in the first place) (or he is the reason tm why they suffered/were wiped out and he is literally the sole survivor of his people, bc he doesnt care about ANYONE but himself)
i dont mean he has to be a goody two shoes character (you can be an ass and still do good/be in the right btw) bc more often than not what that actually means is being allied with hyrule bc those are the designated good guys and being on their side makes you automatically good (eugh) but do you rly want to just ... play along with all the propaganda?
imo, aside from being obviously racist, thats also so boring? does selfish, violent evil man king with no people (bc hes not part of them or fighting for them, hes always presented as the worse oppressor) and nothing else to him that only wants to murder bc ... idk evil? sound interesting to you? (to the point that the ONLY time we were shown literally any sort of vunerabillity, end of ww, that theres people trying to argue he was trying to to manipulate you even there?? what for? why? are you trying to reject literally the one glimpse we are allowed into his perspective qoq)
why do alot of people reject the idea so much to consider he actually cared about them, how maybe that prideful and selfish look is just a facade, or even a fabrication? violence that had to be met with violence, not for any sort of selfish reasons, but for his people and was met with a fight he could not win yet kept fighting on, perhaps losing himself more and more in the process, or a lie told so often that it became reality, if someone has nothign left to lose, if all was taken from them, maybe even blamed on them, why not play into what you where made out to be, you cant convince them otherwise anyway its the reason hes never shown to have done a single nice thing, never seen non angry/smug smiling, how he has no one at his side unless he forced them, how he is not allowed to be human even a little bit, never shown being anything but a boring ass trope personified, hes less a character and more a big bundle of racist tropes that fights you at the end (sorry) while looking epic so trying to meaningfully analyze him just by what we are told and shown in canon will always fall kinda flat or end up playing righ into every shitty trope
that is my opinion :I
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondorf#ganondoodles rants#yeah it got longer again#im not that well versed with words but maybe i got my point across#i will never not ask why and question everything#i didnt want to get into all the specific tropes bc .. its so many#this part:#or a lie told so often that it became reality -if someone has nothign left to lose -if all was taken from them#maybe even blamed on them - why not play into what you where made out to be- you cant convince them otherwise anyway#that part is what my demise boils down to btw#also this isnt meant as a response to anyones post#but i saw quite a few gan themed ones floating around today so i had to open my mouth again#possibly a mistake ... will be ready to delete if necessary
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hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs
disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!
cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader
wc: 1.1k+
a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs
most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care
he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit
he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it
so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window
you never smoke inside his house
he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it
he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration
whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk
cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences
but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you
and u laugh a lot he likes that too
dont tell anyone tho
you looove getting high with him its such a special treat
ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster
he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u
gasp of course he can !!!!!
asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery
he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !
he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet
he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun
arranging everything ready on the table
“you look like a tweaker”
“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”
he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other
he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water
he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good
he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one
you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done
you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.
“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.
his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.
setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.
he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.
picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.
you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it
he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit
a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out
just awful btw
u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain
u just laugh at him and take ur own hit
breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air
when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible
but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything
oh no he likes you !
he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count
he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh
he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this
bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired
you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch
petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is
you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets
when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch
real smooth .
it works 1000%
watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)
chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30
he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn
okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye
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