#(and i really really really wanna give him one <3)< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[tinythebunni]

perv!stebro!Rafe Cameron <3

you had to know what you were doing. there was no way you were this fucking dense that you couldn’t see what you were doing to Rafe. walking around in those tiny fucking skirts and thinner than a piece of paper crop tops and baby tees. and you never wore a bra. Rafe was 90% sure you were sent up here by the devil herself to punish him for something. but it really was just the fact his dad happened to wanna fuck your mom more than just as a one night stand.

you always seemed to be tanning outside right when he was about to leave for the country club. as if you were trying to tempt him into staying and fucking you into his mattress and bruising your throat. you wore low cut tops almost everyday and it made him fantasize about leaving hickies there. how you’d whimper and lift your hips to try and get some kind of friction. how you’d try and make him touch you but he wanted to spend his time making you wait. making you feel as insufferable as you acted.

the first thing that made him lose his cool was when you came downstairs while Topper and Kelce were in the living room. now sure Rafe was still getting used to you being in the house with him since the wedding. but you had come downstairs in the tinies bikini top known to man. with a barely there skirt that didn’t even cover the swell of your ass. he was sure his eyes were bugging out of his head.

“nah. who the fuck do you think is letting you out the house like that?” you tried changing his mind, jus bc you really wanted to go to the pier and shop! but he wouldn’t budge.

“you look like a whore, go change. ‘not dealing with bullshit while i’m sober.” you cried all the way up to your bedroom and slammed your door. while Rafe only sat back down in his chair, manspreading and rubbing his jaw.

“jeez man you were kind of harsh” Kelce tried to defend you but he didn’t get far.

“nah y’don’t know the shit i gotta deal with here. fucking teasing me all the time.”

the second time he almost lost his cool was when you decided you were going to go to one of Barry’s parties, which Rafe was not at all gonna let fucking happen.

Barry always threw crazy ragers that basically turned into fucking or orgies all night. you’d never been to one of his parties but Rafe knew some bitch ass little boy probably invited you, trying to get into your panties.

once again you tried your hardest to get him to let you go but he didn’t let up. “not letting you go to some party just so you can get roofied and traumatized for the rest of your life. ‘r too sweet for all of that and i don’t feel like having to kill anyone today.”

you stomped your foot and pouted up at him. “this is so not fair! you’re not even my daddy!”

hearing that name come out of your mouth had Rafe groaning and looking up at the ceiling for some kind of strength to grasp onto, so he didn’t choke you or fuck you against this door. he gave you one last look and reached behind you to lock the door. he could hear your breath hitch as his head was right by yours, locking his eyes onto yours as you heard the click of the lock.

“stay in the house. ‘m not fucking with you bambi.” he chastised, walking back to the couch without even glancing your way. you looked at him a little longer, watch as he palmed himself through his jeans and slid back in the cushions. you let out a sad sound and slouched back upstairs. crying all your pretty heart out into your heart shaped pillow.

the last time, Rafe couldn’t take it anymore. you finally started to notice his attraction to you. and boy were you happy. you’d been wanting to fuck him for months now! fingering yourself and rubbing your clit raw to the sound of his voice and the feeling of his hands on you. you were basically in heaven!

Rafe didn’t know what changed but all of a sudden your teasing got more evident. you’d drop the remote and bend over to pick it up, giving him a view of the plump lips you had hidden behind cotton underwear. sometimes you’d leave the bathroom door open so he could see you shower behind the steamy glass.

in the present day you asked him to bake cupcakes with you. something innocent and sweet, what could it hurt? but when you asked him to try it, that’s when it all went downhill. Rafe dipped his finger in the batter and brought it to his lips, sucking the flavor off and deciding if it was done.

“taste perfect bunny, now you try it.” and you did. you looked up at him, taking two steps forward, and grabbed his right wrist. He looked at you with a confused glint in his eyes, as you dipped his finger in the batter and wrapped your lips around it. tenderly kitten licking the tip of it and suckling as you let it pop from between your lips.

“sweet and creamy, just perfect!” you smiled, like a cheshire cat. he only stared at you, pupils blown and cheeks flushed. you began to get a little bit nervous. you wanted to turn around and rgo to your room to sleep for all eternity!

as you frowned and turned to walk away, he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you to him, and as you skidded to a stop he wrapped his hands around your waist and flipped you over his shoulder. he walked away from the oven preheating oven, turning it off of course, and up to his room.

“Rafe what are you doing! come on put me down!” you yelled at him. he only slapped your ass, effectively shutting you up. you felt shame, arousal, and nervousness creep into your gut as you could only watch his backside walk up the stairs and away from the kitchen.

you saw him walk into a room and when he turned around to lock the door, you saw he was in his room. you heard the lock click and felt him start to walk towards the bed, finally putting you down.

“do you know how much self control i’ve wasted trying not to fuck you against every surface of the house, just for you to kiss me in the goddamn kitchen?” he asked pacing with an angry look on his face. you shook your head with your lips parted slightly and eyes glossy. you felt like a bunny in front of an angry wolf. you couldn’t tell if it was sexy, scary, or both.

“i’ve tried so fucking long to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t know how much of a fucking nuisance you were. how everytime you walked out the house in those tiny outfits, i’d go up to my room and jerk off to the thought of ripping them off of you.”

you were sure you looked stupid as fuck right now, only glancing up at him between your lashes and biting your lip. “say something bunny. speak up.”

“m sorry.” you whispered, choked up a little. he stopped pacing suddenly and turned to you. kneeling in front of you he brushed the single tear that fell from your eye off your cheek.

“oh baby, i’m not really mad at you. i’m sexually frustrated from the teasing you’ve been doing but i could never be mad at you sweet girl.”

he kissed both your cheeks and held your face in his hands. “lighten up baby. can’t give you what we both want if your sad.” he whispered, making you look up at him with only need in your eyes.

“what we both want?” you asked, albeit dumbly. “don’t play. i know you want me to fuck you. i can hear your moaning through the fucking walls bunny.” he began to mock your moans and whimpers as your whole face turned red and your chest flared with embarrassment. you finally stood up on your tip toes and kissed him. letting your lips collide in a feverish dance.

he kissed you at first, tenderly, tentative even. as if he was scared to break you. but the slight noises you’d let out as he applied pressure slightly made his thoughts go into a frenzy. he couldn’t keep up with his mind. his hands going from your waist, your ass, your neck, your back, and back to your waist.

he walked you backwards until you fell onto the bed where he crawled over you. “is this okay baby?” he asked as he kissed down your tummy between each word. you nodded with slight anxiety from what comes next.

as he slid your skirt up you yelled out a “wait!” he immediately pulled back as if he was burned.

“did i do something?” he asked, slight worry in his eyes.

“no no, not at all!” you replied, relief flooding through his veins. “i just, i haven’t shaved.”

he stared at you like you were dumb. “i don’t give a fuck. baby i’m a grown man, ion care about a little bit of hair.”

he kissed your clit through your panties after dat sentence and slowly pulled the down to your ankles. he tugged them off and wrapped them around your wrist to keep you still.

pulling a leg over each shoulder he licked one long stripe up your slit, kitten licking to wear he saw fit. this was what he was waiting for. drowning between your thighs. he could feel your arousal gushing out of you and mixing with the saliva on his tongue.

he laps at your cunt as if it’s his last meal, savoring everything he can. he’s mumbling gibberish, pussy drunk almost. babbling about how he needs this, how he wants to become full off of your juices and nothing else. he pushes his tongue inside of you and flicks at your g spot with his tongue. it’s a stretch but it’s worth the reaction it pulls out of you.

your back arches and your hands pull at the sheets next to you, looking for something to ground you. Rafe pulls a hand to your hip to hold you down, his dominant one going towards his pants. you can barely register the clink of his belt.

He pulls himself out of his confines and rubs his tip with b his thumb, spreading his precum around as lube. he tugs his cock in tandem with his long and steady licks of your cunt. he cums right before when you do. the groaning and moaning of his orgasm rushing through him vibrates on your cunt, making you hit your peak with a flame alight inside your whole body.

your orgasm rips through you and it’s blinding almost. you come to after he kisses your neck and lets his half hard cock sit on your tummy as he rubs your head trying to get you to come back to him.

“come on sweet girl, don’t tell me you’re sleep.” you drearily respond, barely there. he smiles starting a bath for you, grabbing a snack, and getting ready to take care of his best girl. only you.

[annievrse]

built a fire just to keep you warm

roronoa zoro x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: it's zoro's birthdayyyy!!! w/c: 1.6k c/w: suggestive, non-sexual intimacy a/n: happy birthday to my favourite strawhat <3 (i kinda hate this rah)

"Zoro will like your present."

You jolt at the sudden voice of your captain before turning your head and glaring at him suspiciously. "Okay..."

Luffy laughs and jumps onto the rail of the sunny, his eyes wide with mischief.

You can practically hear Nami rolling her eyes from where she lays beside you on the deck. "Eavesdropping is rude, Luffy."

Your captain blinks once, twice, before he sits down. "Not eavesdropping if you're being loud."

Before Nami can wring his neck, Robin speaks up, a smug smile gracing her face. "He's not wrong."

"What do you know?" You look at your captain with doubt.

"Nothing," Luffy shrugs. "I just know he'll like it."

Sighing, you shove your sunglasses on top of your hair. "You better not tell him what it is."

"I'm gonna tell Sanji," Luffy ignores you and giggles as his feet hit the ground.

"Luffy!" You start, panic rising up your throat as you sit up from your sun lounge. "Wait—"

"Birthdays mean meat! Sanji's gonna cook a feast!"

But before you or Nami can stop him, Luffy's running toward the galley, footfalls heavy on the wood.

"He's a moron," Nami mumbles. "He won't tell Zoro."

You hum, your stomach turning with anxiety. "What if he doesn't like my present?"

"This is Zoro we're talking about," Nami chimes in. "He'd be happy with a bottle of sake."

You want to tell her it means more to you than that but think against it when familiar footsteps round the corner.

"There you are," His voice is rough like gravel but his words are like honey. Your swordsman stands over you, the sun spilling around him. "When did you wanna show me the thing you were talking about?"

Beside you, Nami gags and Robin titters, both choosing to pretend not to listen in on your conversation.

"Uh," you look at the girls and then back to him. "Now?"

"Works for me."

But before you can stand, Zoro leans forward and wraps his arm around your torso, lifting you up and under his arm like a damn plank of wood. The girls wave it off like it's a daily occurrence (it is) and return to their peaceful silence.

"Zo—"

He turns around, and you grip his waist, your body parallel to the ground. His skin is sticky with sweat but warm under your touch, and you guess he just finished a workout.

Hiking you up his hip, Zoro squints into the sun. "Where are we going?"

Sighing deeply, you peer up at him. "My room."

Humming, he takes a sharp right and descends the stairs to the girl's quarters. "Whatcha got hiding down here?"

"Secret."

Zoro pauses before the door and sets you on your feet. You stand up, shouldering his bicep to get to the door handle.

Zoro makes a beeline for your bed while you rummage through the chest at the end of your mattress. The springs squeak as he lays down, his broad shoulders and thick thighs taking up most of the space on your bed.

You peek at him when you finally find what you're looking for and admire him momentarily. Your beautiful hunk of a man, with his scarred skin and calloused hands, his musky man smell and hard muscles.

"Okay," You say, hiding the secret behind your back. "Close your eyes."

"Do I really—" Zoro gives upon complaining when he sees the look on your face. "Fine."

You clamber onto the bed, throwing your leg over him to straddle his hips. Zoro makes a throaty sound at the feeling of you on top of him but goes no further. With his hands behind his head, his biceps bulge.

"Ready?" You ask, voice soft.

At the tone of your voice, Zoro relaxes his hard expression and moves his hands to your thighs. "Yeah."

Inhaling deeply, you place your hands in front of you. "Open."

One dark eye cracks open at your demand, and then it widens. "Wha—"

Sheepish, you push the small figure into his chest. "Happy Birthday."

Zoro sits up, circling one arm around you to keep you steady in his lap. "You made this?"

Giggling at his reaction, you nod. "Do you like it?"

In his hands lays a small wooden letter, the initial of your first name. Pulling the necklace around your neck out from under your top, you lift it up, and the Z on the end of the chain shines in the reflection of the sun in the waves.

"Now we match."

Zoro laughs gruffly, his fingertips running over the carved edges of the initial.

As he stares at it, he reminisces the time he searched a random island high and low to find a present for you. When the thin gold chain with a Z-shaped pendant no bigger than your fingernail hanging from it caught his eye, he knew it was perfect.

A Z-shaped pendant, not because he owns you, but because he knows you. And now you're giving this to him, your initial carved by your own hand in wood, he knows you know him too.

"Sap," Zoro chides, his tone holding no malice. "When did we get so mushy?"

You laugh, holding his cheeks in your hands. His thank you hangs in his tone. "You can hang it from your scabbard if you like, I can put a string in it."

Zoro groans, placing the figure on the bed before wrapping his arms around you and pulling your body flush against his. "You're so cute."

"You were cute first," You say, pressing your lips against his. Zoro's cheeks are warm to the touch, and as you pull away, you swear you glimpse a glassy eye before he closes it. "I adore you, Zo."

Zoro kisses you again, his mouth moving feverishly. His hands roam your body mercilessly, and before you know it, you're on your back, his hips pinning you to the bed.

"I love you," He breathes into your mouth, his nose brushing yours. He says the words like a prayer; if he muttered them any louder, some unknown force would wake him up, and he'd find that everything you are is false. "I love you more than anything."

Tears prick your eyes, and you smile wetly. Zoro's fingers dance on your cheeks, his elbows supporting his weight on either side of your head.

There's nothing left to say. Zoro uses the words very sparingly and never before anyone besides you. Life as a pirate with as big a bounty as him is dangerous and terrifying, and if anything were to happen to you, he doesn't know how he'd go on.

"Mosshead!"

The banging on the door has Zoro groaning. "What, moron?"

"If you don't get out of the ladies' room in the next 2 seconds, I'll kick your ass!''

"I'll slice you in two if you don't shut up."

You smile up at him as he draws you from the bed, his hand large and warm in yours.

"Zo," You mumble, reaching your hand to rest on the nape of his neck. You pull him down and kiss him one last time. "Don't kill him, Luffy asked him for a feast."

Rolling his eye, Zoro scoffs. "Fuckin' cook."

The door slams against the wall as Sanji storms in. "Your feast is ready."

Zoro pauses and turns toward Sanji. "My feast?"

"Well, it's your birthday, isn't it?"

A smirk breaks across Zoro's face. "Yeah, yeah, it is."

You have to suppress your laugh, your hand coming to cover your smile. Luffy stands in the doorway with a bright, salivating grin.

"Well," Sanji says. "Get up there and eat!"

Luffy cheers from the hallway, his arms stretching to the entrance at the end before his body flings away. "Meat!"

"Thank you, Sanji," You smile, resting your hand on his arm. "It means a lot."

The cook's eyes turn into literal hearts at you. "Anything for you, my love, even if that is making mosshead a feast."

A haughty laugh comes from the back of Zoro's throat. He doesn't dignify Sanji with a response to his dig and leads you out of the room.

Upon entering the galley, the entire crew sits in anticipation, Luffy barely containing himself from the food before him.

Zoro pulls a chair out for you and then sits in the one beside you. The rest of the crew takes that as a cue to begin eating and before you know it, plates are passed around you at a rapid pace.

The galley is in an uproar of yells and laughter, but when Zoro places his hand on your thigh, you feel like the only two in the room. He laughs at something Usopp says and takes a sip of sake, his cheeks pink and demeanour laid back. The sight makes your heart swell.

With most of the crew knowing not to make a big deal of Zoro's birthday, much to his pleasure, it's a night that has you reeling in emotion at the sheer familiarity of the people around you. They know you, and they know your swordsman, and there's nobody else you'd rather laugh with, have arguments with, get annoyed with, and love as family than them.

When Zoro places his cup down, he leans into you, his lips against your ear as he whispers things that have you giggling and your skin tingling. He's usually not this outright with his emotions. Still, perhaps your comforting warmth has him unwinding, splitting himself open for his crew, his family, to see, and it's a rare sight that you'll cherish for the rest of eternity.

"To Zoro!" Luffy yells as he clambers to stand on the table. His laugh echoes through the room, and the rest of your family is joining in with him. Everyone holds up their cups and repeats the words.

"To you," You giggle, clinking your cup against his. But Zoro's quick to toss the alcohol aside and pull you into him, kissing you like you're air, and he's a man drowning.

[pinkydee10]

Sun: The blacksmith says “that’ll be 25 gold”

Solar: Can I seduce him for like a discount?

Sun: Sure, roll for persuasion.

Solar: Aye 20!

Sun: Wait wait wait, now roll for performance.

Earth: Oh no.

Solar: I got a one…

Moon: Oh. My god.

Ruin: This poor man…

Sun: You take…oh my god. He offers you his hand and you take him to the back of the shop. You’re there for about thirty seconds and walk back out.

Everyone: THIRTY SECONDS?!

Solar:…How do I think it went?

Sun: Roll for insight.

Solar: 3

Sun: Ok you think it went great but the blacksmith looks very unhappy and he’s weakly holding his crotch.

Lunar: What the hell did you do back there?

Solar: MY BEST!

Moon: You gave him head but like all teeth like…you know that scene in SpongeBob with the chocolate bar?

Earth: Stop. Stop

Lunar: You really ruined this man’s penis for a discount.

Solar: I look at him and go “You wanna go for round two?” and wink.

Moon: Just stop, it’s not meant to be!

Earth: Please just stop.

Sun: *evilly* Roll persuasion.

Solar: GODDAMNIT I got another Nat 1!

Ruin: STOOOOP

Sun: *laughing* Ok. The blacksmith looks at you and goes “Please no. I’m ok. I’m good, just please not again”

Moon: THE DISCOUNT IS NOT WORTH THIS!

Sun: Actually. He goes “I will give you a discount if you never give head ever again”

Solar: I’ll take it!

[icarusredwings]

Trash kitties

Thinking about Kid Wade needing a rabies vaccine because he finally caught that "Trash kitty" that keeps dumping their trash cans out back but it bit the shit out of him.

"...Kitty? Ow.."

"Ow? Why ow bu- HOLY SHIT What did you do!?"

"... trash kittys is mean.."

"You were playing with the stray mama cat again? I told you that she-"

"Nooo. Not a kittycat. A trash kitty. They steal trash."

"A raccoon? Wher- whe- How the hell did you get ahold of a racoon!?? This is new york!! The racoons are bigger then most dogs!! No offense mary-"

The dog scoffs and walks off with her rat like tail up.

-----

So now- here they are- Sitting in the car infront of the doctors and Wade is dead silent, Clinging to Fluffy the Wolverine like his life depends on it, colorful bandaids all over him and his arm wrapped in gauze. What ever Wade do to this poor raccoon? It wasn't going without a fight. Logan only guesses that he was trying to bring the raccoon home but failed.

He takes a deep breath "Now, Wade? You need to behave in here. No hurting anyone, okay? They just wanna help."

He just turns to him with this big, terrified, teary eyes. "Is it gonna hurts!?"

"A tiny bit."

"A tiny bit..? How tiny?"

"Do you know when Puppy puts her nails on you? On accident? Cause puppys can't put their claws inside like kitty?" He says, calm and holding his hand.

Wade whimpers, sniffles and nods, and is absolutely afraid of the shot that was about to happen. "Yes.."

"Well? It hurts a tiny bit like that. And you have to be good. Got it? Give me your baby knife."

He looks at him, suspicious, scared and shocked. Kitty has never taken his baby knife from him before but hesitantly, slowly he hands it over, letting it over over Logans firm open hand, pulling it back to his chest defensively.

"Your gonna give it back?"

"Ill give it back. I pinky promise. But sometimes when you're scared you make bad choices with your baby knife."

"... is kitty gonna hurt let them me...?"

Logans heart shattered, because unfortunately the awnser was yes. But he had too. For Wade's own saftey.

"No, no! Well-... uugh.. yes? Just a little bit. And I'll be right there. Kitty has to get a shot, too. You know that? A-and if you're good, I'll give you ice cream!" He adds quickly, having seen the way wades eyes were flickering towards the door.

He would bolt if too scared. Especially without his knife. And he wouldn't be found until HE wanted to be found. It was one of Logan's biggest fears. To loose him because he runs off.

"Okay?"

"...okay"

-----

Coming out of the clinic, Wade is skipping, holding a small cherry sucker, Fluffy, And had a new hello kitty bandaid. "That didn't hurt a lot. Just a tiny like kitty says. GASSSP Kitty!! I did good!? I have ice creams now?"

Good.

Groaning, Logan too had a bandaid on his arm, exhausted from all the damage Wade just did. He was so strong. Holding him down that long the best he could was the only thing he could really do, especially with Wade screaming and begging him to let go. Emotionally, and Physically, he was done.

The word made Logan want to laugh in his face. Yeah, sure, if you called 2 broken noses, someone getting an unplanned rabies shot today, another kicked in the stomach and the doctor bit on the arm- then SURE. He was good.

"Look, whatever happens.. Just.. give him the damn booster. Got it? Oh, and gaurd your nose-"

"What?" Said the nurse, only for her nose to be ultimately broken by the end of today, and Logan had to plead with them not to call the police. Thankfully, she was sympathic and didn't, but the conversation stressed Logan out enough for the next 3 days.

"..sure kid.. you did good." He lies, needing a nap and maybe a benadryl. "Hey and no more trash kittys.. okay?"

This was the reality of taking care of Wade Wilson. Trash kitties. Baby knives. And Ice cream.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain, God 3

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

Being Poultryman was more fun then you thought it would be and that's saying a lot considering you already had high expectations. These last few days have been the most fun you have had in the last 10 billion years! It's just so different to actually be involved directly... People actually thank you for trowing eggs at other people.

And now you went one step further then just trowing eggs at criminala, you managed to fill mayor Ren's house with chickens! Every single room is filled witch chickens. Bathroom? Chickens. Kitchen? Chickens. Weird suspicious basement permeated with metallic scent? You better believe it, that's filled with chickens too.

You honestly can't wait for his reaction...

Thinking about it, it's weird how little surveilance the mayor has in his house... you got in without having to use any divine ability except for those that make up Poultryman's powers. And you would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for him.

"Stop righg there, scoundrel!" It's Hotguy to interrupt if it wasn't clear, you don't see why the hero association would send the number one hero after you but this is going to be fun. Any other god would have just smited him for interrupting but that would just be...so boooring. No, you are going to punish him in a much more... subtle way... ...Mentally.

"Hello there, Averageguy" You can see him process what you said in real time.

"It's Hotguy! Not ...that!"

"So narcisistic, no no no, you really need to chill down or I'll have to demote you to Mediocreguy"

"MEDIOCRE!? You can't just demote me!" Oh, he is fun, he's so sensitive to mockery.

"Too bad, you are Mediocreguy now, told you that you needed to chill down and you didn't listen".

At that he starts chasing you, took him long enough to remember his job is to catch you, of course you aren't going to be catched that easily. You are stil agod after all.

"I'll have you know I'm very chill you pesky bird!" Pesky bird? That's a new one.

"You are neither chill nor hot" You jump in the air and land behind him. "More of Lukewarmguy really".

Well, you could just lose him now but you wanna have a bit more fun before you leave.

"Come back here! You oversized chicken!"

Well now he's going to get egged, he brought it upon himself really- oh? One moment... You perceive a woman reporting for live television nearby... You suddenly have a devious idea and ou lunge towards her general direction.

*The following Clip was taken from Hermitopia Daily*

"-Shareholders predict that the new policy will be a strong step foward towards-"

*Suddenly a chicken themed man jumps in in the middle of the live recording*

"Hello there spectators! Sorry to interrupt!"

"P-poultry man!?"

*The man in the chicken costume turns towards the camera and takes out like ten 100 dollar bills*

"Hey mate, I'll give you these if you let me borrow that camera for a few seconds"

*The camera men speaks in the background*

"Huh...just don't break it? Please?"

"Thanks!"

*There is some shaking as Poultryman takes the camera and points it towards a very angry and tired looking Hotguy.*

"And there folks at home we have Loserguy."

"LOSERGUY!?"

"I know, before meeting you I thought you were cool too! Never meet your heroes they say, that's because they are very underwhelming."

*Hotguy jumps towards the camera, there's some more shaking and then the camera is pointing towards an Hotguy whose face is faceplanted onto the ground and who is groaning onto the floor*

"Well ... first of all, attacking me? That was rude. Second of all, if you are going to jump someone at least don't fall, It's just embarassing."

*Hotguy gets up with another frustrated groan and takes out his bow and arrow*

...

"Well, time to give back the camera to it's owner! Wouldn't want an arrow to break it after all!"

"You! Come back here!"

"Toodles Cringeguy!"

*The feed cuts for a few seconds, once everything is back online Hotguy is looking around like he's searching for something and Poultryman is gone... The reporter seems to snap out of her shock, the clip ends*

*Scar's pov*

You feel like a misbehaving child waiting for punishment, you are sitting in Cub's lab and he's frantically walking back and forth.

"It ... It wasn't that bad?" You don't know why you try to argue, you regret it immediately.

"Not that bad?! Scar- *sigh*"

Ok so maybe it was, but you can't stand the idea of Cub being mad at you... Or even worse: disappointed in you.

"I'll just...catch him next time! Yeah!"

"Not only did you fail you task, not only did you push yourself way too much AGAIN but you made a fool out of yourself on LIVE TELEVISION Scar. Do you even know how much respectability you lost because of this?"

Ok... Maybe It's better if you just don't speak...

"The screenshot of you laying on the ground is now a meme template! I don't even know how that has already happened since It's been two hours at most."

Still, you will catch that Pesky bird, no one calls you Cringeguy.

*Grian's pov*

...

You're the one that started the Hotguy template, you don't regret it one bit.

...

The internet is having a field day with it, Hotguy's pr team is definitely not.

...

This is so much fun already.

[latteenightss]

Hii! Just another rant about obx. I wanna share my predictions about season 5 and what I think they’re gonna do

Chase Stokes (John B) mentioned that season 5 will be their best one, which it could be but I think for a lot of viewers just the fact that JJ won’t be there at all might ruin the season if yk what I mean.

And now to my predictions

1. I think season 5 will be Kiara’s season, with the way season 4 ended it’s obvious she’s gonna lash out and go through a lot. She’s gonna need to deal with grief and her revenge era might be a bit brutal 😊

Also maybe she will be somehow related to the treasure? Or just connected slightly. Like season 1 we had John B, season 2 it was Pope. Season 3 now- idk I guess Sarah but Kie also had a bigger role, like when that dude kidnapped her and then she got sent off to that camp but that’s it, then her plot line was about Jiara, and season 4 was obv JJ.

And since we’re talking about JJ, y’all.. ik it’s hard but he’s not coming back 😭 obx is not supernatural, a wish won’t bring him back to life. Like I don’t think JJ will crawl out of sand.

I generally love the idea of Kie finally having her main character moments and just making her more important to the story.

2. We will get Riara. And I definitely don’t mean that in a romantic way because that’s not happening! Madison (the actress of Kie) hates Riara 😭 but I think we will see them as duo and just get more of those tension scenes that we got so far. I feel like that might be a way the writers will try to “replace” Jiara. Jiara was a huge ad for the show and lately so has been Riara.

I feel like almost eveyone loves the tension between those two and the writers know that. Also Rafe breaking up with Sofia- yea they’re definitely building up to some sort of storyline with Kiara and Rafe. The amount of people obsessed with Riara is insane and obv they have to give us something so..

Riara s5 is pretty much guaranteed.

3. I wanna talk about Sarah and John B- obviously a huge plot line will be their child. I don’t know if the child will be born at the end or during season 5. How I see it, I’m leaning more toward the end but we’ll see.

There’s not much else that can really happen with them. John b will also be in a revenge era since his best friend was killed and Sarah will definitely get closer with Rafe, that hug they shared was so cute and needed but otherwise I really don’t know! I doubt they’ll kill them off. I was thinking that the way John B narrates obx maybe that’s him in the future telling his child about their story? That would make sense honestly.

4. Pope and Cleo umm so. I honestly am not as interested in their story line and it’s interesting because I have no idea what they will do with them.

I think Pope might be kind of more cold in season 5- as we know he shot a person right in the head, and he was so scared about that. Also he lost JJ- his best friend and they want to send him to the military. Dude is not doing the best! 💀

Cleo.. I don’t know she’s such a complicated character, she went through a lot in her life but I doubt they’ll really expand her character in season 5.

5. Rafe!!!! His character development this season was insane. In my opinion he should stick with the pogues but I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow betrayed them. That’s Rafe- he’s not a good person but I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily bad..

Like I already said in obx 5 there will be Rafe and Kie duo, and more of Sarah and Rafe for sure. But maybe he will connect with the other pogues too.

I just don’t want the development to be thrown away, I hope they make him stick with the pogues.

6. And now finally the ending/possible deaths.

The characters who in my opinions are most in danger are: Kiara and Rafe

Especially Kiara.. here’s the thing, since JJ is dead and she already went through the whole group 😭 what can her ending actually be? Like ok she could just end up alone with her friends, her family but in my opinion her death would make sense. She would be with JJ and I think in general it is a good end for her.

Rafe like i mentioned is a complicated character, it would be so easy for the writers to just kill him off at the end. But I would be honestly so mad!!! Like no JJ and no Rafe 😭. Yeah I don’t want them to do that but at the same time, I think there’s definitely a possibility.

Sarah and John B definitely safe in my opinion.

Cleo and Pope- now I don’t know, I think they’re safe. Maybe Cleo.. but still I don’t think so.

Groff- definitely done for! ❤️ I hope Kiara tortures him to death 🥰

[orbleglorb]

tumblr in the blaseball universe, part 10

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9

image descriptions: the first image is a thick black bar meant to separate posts. the second image is a thin gray bar meant to separate reblogs. they are used continuously throughout the post when appropriate. like right now

☎️ official-jessica-telephone 🔁

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

what happens if the real JT wants this URL. it's a part of me now. who do i become if i have to give it up

🐟 offishal-jessica-telephone Follow

she'll have to krill you for it

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

WHO ARE YOU

102 notes

☕ eyesinthedark11

every day with salmon weather for the past few months, my dad has miraculously "found" fresh salmon for us to have for dinner. should i ask him where he's getting it from

#personal #i know the answer. i just need the verbal confirmation

0 notes

Whoops, looks like this post doesn't exist!

🐍 gamer--gorgon

shoutout to the guy (who i think might be in our shadows?) that goes fishing during every salmon game. you should see if you can get anything from the floods

#if he's a shadows guy it's extra funny because he's gotta come up from new jersey #all the shadows share an apartment there #charla said she thought she knew him but every time she tries to get into the stands to talk to him he just disappears lmfao #i get it king. i really do

41 notes

☎️ official-jessica-telephone

what do you MEAN they're rebooting supernatural???

35 notes

☕️ eyesinthedark11 🔁

☕️ eyesinthedark11

i understand that this is ostensibly a terrible thing to say but i truly do not think parker macmillan did anything wrong. if my mom was the coin i woulda done worse. i wouldn't have only been passively killing

🦆 peripheral-duck

everyone wants to act all gifted kid burn out fleabag mommy issues #coquette #girlblogger but the minute mommy decides murder is okay if it gets her some money it's all "well why didn't PARKER do anything :/" you fake fucking bitches. bro got cursed to bring destruction in his wake and THEN cursed to wander everywhere. we're not going to question that??

☕️ eyesinthedark11

if the coin was my mom i would have burned the whole earth years ago. not even because of firewalker or anything i woulda just done that

#like you are looking at mommy issues supreme. you show some fucking respect #<- PREV #on one hand it feels really weird to say these things about a Real Guy who is possibly still alive #on the other hand. you fake bitches #if you've reblogged a fleabag quote i don't wanna hear shit from you #'maybe the fireballs didn't know what instability was' valid point! #but that does not mean they're not at fault. you know #idk why everyone expects parker to just. fix everything. #if he's in the vault then he's been 19 for like 50+ years. he suffers more than jesus

5 notes

🐶 catgirlfirefighter

it's somehow the league's best kept secret that mike townsend is deaf. people keep coming to me like, "idk how you're friends with the guy, he just ignored me, he's such a dick" bro he can't hear you. and also yeah he is a huge bitch

#right judgement wrong reason #mike if you're reading this. ily <3

112 notes

🦞 marketplace-shellfish

Hey has anyone heard from that guy who was making the "meatcute is not real and can't hurt me" affirmations recently? I can't tell if it's a bit or not but they haven't posted since.

#blaseball #san francisco #san francisco lovers #hopefully it's nothing and i'm just anxious lol

11 notes

[zombii-ships]

SWWSDJ boys and Bo primal play headcanons, please!

eeeee of course! ✨

Jack

-He’s a little hesitant to get into it, because he doesn’t want to hurt you or be to rough

- When he does though, he loves it. Actively requests it

- Loves when you try to hide, he’s hard as a damn brick when he finally finds you.

- Dude’s damn near biting back a moan, palming his crotch. The idea of finding you and claiming you as his own has his mind melting.

- “There’s my sunshine. Now why would you go and run away from me?”

- He’a GRABBY. With you. If you try to run, he’s all over you.

- Looks at you like the most delicious meal to ever exist, and he’s starving.

Joseph

- World Champion Stealth Hunter. He wants to not only catch you, but catch you off guard.

- You won’t hear him coming, you wont see him coming, but you’ll know once he catches you.

- Heeeavy breathing and loves getting to pin you down. Loves the view of his “pretty little prey” under him.

- “I’m not gonna hurt ya’, rabbit. Just quit running from me.”

- His voice is soft and deep, almost like he’s growling at you.

- One of the rougher guys, loves when you try to scratch him up to get away.

Ian

- Ian’s messyyyy with it

- Dude is so excited. He gets really riled up really fast when he’s in predator mode.

- The idea of catching you…having you under him, your eyes wild beneath him- fuck, he needs it like he needs air.

- Ian gets desperate, he’s messy when he catches you, covering you in bites and kisses, humping you like a needy dog instead of a fierce predator, but the intensity is still there.

- Also likes being prey. He wants you to come get him soooo bad.

- “Oh noooo, what if a big strong person comes and…fucks me! Oh noooo, whatever will I do?!~”

- dude’s got himself laid out on the bed like a christmas ham, smfh shameless.

Nick

- “You want me to hunt you down like prey? Alright. 5…4….3….2….”

- Nick’s gonna catch you off guard. He wants to surprise you. Of course there’s always a safeword, but Nick’s gonna give you a hell of an experience.

- He’s absolutely getting off on the erotic fear of the situation. You being his prey makes him feel so in control.

- Sets up traps for you. Bells, strings, tripwires.

- You know he knows where you are at all times.

- There you are, lil’ bird. Thought you could fly off from me?”

Shaun

-Shaun’s fucking quick. He’s strong. And he loves to physically overwhelm you. Whether you’re smaller or bigger than him, he’s tuned in to know what buttons to press.

- Throws you around a bit, tosses you onto beds or couches like it’s nothing

- Talks shit the WHOLE time. It’s absolute filth in your ear as he’s somehow managed to pin you against the wall with his chest.

- Heavy breathing and grunts while he marks up your neck and collarbone

- Loves using his hands to pin you down or grab your waist to keep you close

- “Squirm all you want, kitty. I’m gonna savor this-“

- could also absolutely see him being a total brat as the prey teehee

Bo

- Excited Pubby becomes Locked In Dog

-Bo’s tracking you down, he’s not taking this predator role lightly

- He’s totally dedicated to showing how good he is at hunting you down. He’s methodical and really focused, it’s actually kind of shocking how he goes from sweetie to merciless

- As soon as he gets you though, those defenses all soften because he just does not wanna hurt you.

- But then he’s immediately hard because you tell him he did a great job. Cycle repeat

[izzylovesmatt]

Confessions Part 2

matt x fem reader

summary - after matt confesses to his bsf drunk he is forced to tell her the truth and it ends up leading to something more than just a friendship

part one

(dividers by me give credit if gonna use)

⚠️warnings⚠️suggestive content,no smut (sorry)

As the morning glow seeps through the black curtains and fills the room i start to stir awake. I open my eyes as the sun hits my face i start to remember all last night, all matt's words were suddenly coming back into my knowledge even though i wish to just forget them. I see that matt's still sleeping so i slip away like a sly fox into the kitchen hoping to not wake the three sleeping boys up. I look into the fridge for any kind of drink that isn't soda. To no surprise there wasn't only pepsi's and dr pepper's. i go into the cabinet to grab a glass and i fill it with water from the fridge for matt. i grab advil and i make some butter toast to keep his stomach from hurting or from throwing up. As i slowly slip back into the room i notice matt isnt in is bed. i place the items in my hands on his nightstand and lay back into the bed and scroll on my phone till he gets back from what i thought he was doing. i thought matt was showering, well he was but he wasn't washing his body or his hair. He was faintly moaning and i could hear through the door. Did he forget i was here? is he doing it on purpose? or is he hurt and im just being dirty? What do i do? After hearing him a bit more it's obvious he isn't hurt and those are moans of pleasure. I can hear him moan my name slowly between soft whimpers. After 15 minutes of his shower i hear the water stop. Before he gets back in here i have to leave and do something away from his bathroom i can't have him knowing i just listened to him do that and i can't have him know it made me soaked. So i do, I get up and go back into the kitchen getting chris and nick the same things i got matt so i didnt look like a weirdo. I hear footsteps from nicks staircase i look over and nicks coming down rubbing his head and sighing loudly "is this for me?" he says referring to the toast, water, and medicine. "yeah for you and chris." i say getting chris's last peice of toast out from the toaster. "did matt get one? also chr-" nick says before getting interrupted by matt. "hey why don't i get toast not fair!" he says his wet hair still clinging to his forehead. "chill you did its in your room on your nightstand i thought you were still sleeping but i heard the water running." i say finishing up chris's toast as i watch heat rise to matt's face him realizing that i could've heard him moaning my name. "oh okay i'll um give this to chris" he says taking the plate from my hands. " oh there's a girl down there let me do it." nick says taking the plate from matt. "thanks nick!" i say shouting so he can hear me. After nick comes back up he grabs his toast says his goodbyes then he heads upstairs. "so y'had fun last night huh?" i say to matt. "well the parts i can remember yeah" he says with a mouthful of toast. "oh figures you don't remember anything." i say giggling at the boy who doesn't know what he said the very night before. "why are you lauging? what did i do last night that's making you laugh like that" he says covering his face with his hands. "wellll do you really wanna know?" i say still slightly laughing. "yes i want to know was it embarrassing did people laugh at me?" he says still covering his face "well first it's something you said and did but nobody else was around so-" he interrupts me "i don't wanna know i don't wanna know." he says getting up and puting his plate in the sink then sitting on the couch trying to remember anything he did or said last night. "are you sure it's kinda important." i say sitting on the couch next to him. " uh oh" he says. making it seem like he knows exactly what im talking about.

Time skip

After 3 hours of me and matt sitting on our phones and having only small conversations he finally said something to me that was more than a small conversation or a joke. "So about what i said last night" i turn my phone off as he speaks. "what about it?" , " did i say it in the club orr?" my heart starts to race for some odd reason i shouldn't be nervous around matt i never am. "well there were a few things you said. and did" , "okay but what would you say was thw worst this i did." i think back to last night when he asked me to change infront of him but that wasn't bad we do it all the time, finally it came to me. " well we were at the club and y-" suddenly he cuts me off "nonono i don't wanna hear just yet so we were at the club okay now where were we when i said the worst thing i said all night." , "well it really wasn't that bad it's just i don't think you would say it when you weren't drinking" , "yeah but where were we?" , "we were here and i was trying to sleep but you wouldn't shut up about-" he cuts me off again. " no i don't wanna hear it. yet" , " okay when do you want to hear it?" , "I don't know but i think i know exactly what i told you and i-" i cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips. Matt kisses you back almost immediately, he softly grabs your cheek as you wrap your arms around his neck. "i- i" matt try's to speak but cuts himself off. "what matt?" i say still looking at him even though he's looking down now. "i didn't want to tell you this because your my bestfriend but i-" he doesn't finish is sentence once again. "what mat-" he cuts me of by saying "i love you." The room goes silent. I don't know what to say. "and i know i shouldn't because your my bestfriend but please don't go silent please don't stop talking to me." he says still looking anywhere my into my eyes. "i-" matt cuts me off before i can speak "i'll drive you home if you don't wanna be here i unde-" i cut him off "i love you too matt." he looks at me finally in the eyes. "wait you do?" he says with a look of relief on his face. "yes matt but you don't know how to shut up so" i say before he pulls me back into the kiss, it feels like the whole world stopped just because of a silly little drunk confession. "now how about i show you to my room and i have a even better thing we can do back there." he says pulling me off the couch. As we're walking back to his room i can't help but be excited over this new beggining.

i thought i posted this 3 days ago but i just saved it to my drafts also im sorry it's short and not that good my great grandmother just passed and i havent been doing the best but i will make a smut soon to makeup for this

[wolf-in-a-trenchcoat]

@hobartsaglet wanted me to tell you about the color ramble lol

So, this actually reminds me of two sets of media I thoroughly enjoyed that has a similar thing- Megamind and Our Flag Means Death. In Megamind, we see Roxanne going from red to blue throughout the movie- thus signifying her relationship developing with Bernard!Megamind- and then turning to purple when they "break up", and lastly back to blue when she finally gets back together with Megamind in the end.

In Our Flag, Ed wears purple the closer he gets with Stede- same goes for how he wears fingerless gloves in the beginning to show that he's hiding most of himself except for the bits he wants people to see, then goes gloveless when he and Stede become super close, then full gloves in S2 for various plot reasons that may be spoilers. Fuckin love that show-

Anyways, back to the actual topic.

If you pay really close attention to Bilbo AND Thorin's attire during the journey, you'll see that as Bilbo becomes closer to Thorin, he ditches the reds and oranges and starts wearing blue- specifically Durin's blue.

Like THE family blue.

And it's not even that noticeable he does it. It actually took me a while to notice it myself, a second watch, AND looking through the costume designs. Like, yeah, we know that he'd end up wearing something warmer when the winter months come, but they obviously had various colors they could've used- Thorin wears a brown fit after Lake-Town, and everyone has their own colors...

But Bilbo specifically has Durin's blue. That is the shade it's called.

And BOTFA would be where we'd see the peak of their relationship- Bilbo is supposedly the only one at the time able to reach through the gold-sickness and get to Thorin. We see it during the acorn scene (a whole other rant) and when Thorin gives him the mithril shirt (also another whole ass rant). He trusts and has such a deep fondness for Bilbo even through the sickness.

It makes you think, when you take the colors into consideration. Bilbo wore very warm colors when we first and last see him. And yes, I mean the gear he had when he goes back home.

Bet you didn't expect me to bring that up, did you?? (Yeah, same- @hobartsaglet had to hear that rant for... 3 is hours on call? Sorry man haha-)

When he heads back to Bag End after talking to Balin and the remaining Company, if you pay really close attention, he's back to wearing red. Thorin is dead now, so there's no more relationship to develop. Bilbo isn't wearing blue anymore.

He stops wearing blue.

The whole journey, Bilbo's clothes change as he acclimated to the dwarves, but his colors changed as he grew closer to Thorin. It wasn't obvious and in your face, you had to pay close attention as the movies and scenes progressed.

Thorin wasn't left out either.

We see him first wearing dark colors and a common silver or steel. He's dark, majestic, broody- he looks out of place in Bag End at first. And as the story progresses, Thorin starts wearing lighter colors- browns, reds, just not black/dark colors.

That can also tie into the gold-sickness, too.

When they finally make it to Erebor and drive out Smaug, we see Thorin dressing more lavishly- AND BACK INTO THE DARK COLORS. He's back to wearing those shades and Bilbo is still wearing blue. Thorin also adds gold into the scheme.

Wanna know what else is gold, and causes great harm to its owner? The One Ring.

Both have something gold that destroys them from within- Thorin with the hoard, Bilbo with the ring.

But, when the Battle of Five Armies starts and Thorin finally clears out of the sickness, he's back to wearing SILVER/STEEL. Not a single touch of gold on him. At all.

The thing about the gold is that it was meant to make us uneasy. We're meant to see it and feel how heavy the weight of that sickness lies on Thorin and the line of Durin. Same goes with the ring, and it also being gold.

Thorin gifting Bilbo the mithril shirt is a nod to how much Bilbo has changed. That is one of the most, if not second to the Arkenstone, valuable items in that mountain. Thorin saw him as valuable through the rarest silver.

And mithril is a clean, pure silver.

I think there's more, but this is all I remember ranting about, so if I figure anything else out from memory, I'll shoot you another long winded reblog.

bagginshield is so real cause what do you mean they started wearing each others colors

[ghost-proofbaby]

It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.

Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.

I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi

RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3

the smell of you

warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.

wc: 2.2k+

come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3

“Eddie?”

The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 

“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 

Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 

You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 

Something unspoken. Something homely. 

“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 

When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 

He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 

“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”

“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 

“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 

You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 

Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 

The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 

“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 

It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 

He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 

When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 

“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 

“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 

He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 

One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 

“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”

“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 

“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 

You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”

“Good.” 

He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 

“Eddie!”

If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 

And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 

Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 

“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 

“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 

Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”

“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 

“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 

His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”

You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 

You never grow tired of it. You never will. 

“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 

And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 

“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 

You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 

He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 

“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”

“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”

“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”

Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 

He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.

You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 

You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 

Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 

He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 

“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 

You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 

I love you.

I adore you. 

I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 

And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 

The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 

To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”

[puppyeared]

doodles of my fav sillies

anton belongs to @poicyss

[dispotatorulzz]

Queen and Laz plus some little pages !!!

Lazarus looks kinda bald but there is like nothing I can do about it hes just built like that . ALSO !!! Lazarus is a bigger pony Queen is just an alicorn (big)

I hope we get to see some of grefgore destroying someone with that sword he was given what happened to it even

[wikitpowers]

please please can kit get hugged and comforted by ty in the same way that he hugged and comforted ty in tda?????? bc i need that like i need air 🥹

[bunnihearted]

🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹

[skitskatdacat63]

More matador!Fernando! Ferrari this time :D (I can't help myself.....)

- facial hair

+ closeups

I really wanted the vibe of this Nando pic, I think I did pretty well??