#⁎﹝ ⁱᶜ ﹞ —— lestat de lioncourt.

[morbyds]

c.    /   @coeurz​​​​​​ ˡᵒᵘⁱˢ ᵈᵉ ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗᵉ ᵈᵘ ˡᵃᶜ ᶠᵒʳ ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ ᵈᵉ ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ

as i sat there,   a book in my hand and with my head bowed as i read,   i could feel his crystalline eyes boring holes into the side of my skull.   for a moment,   i grieved not being allowed to peek into his brain.   i wondered how i looked to him then.   painfully human,   hard cover clutched in hand,   without the energy and strength that he had solely because of our dietary differences.   i wondered if he regretted me,   and saw the positive side of our minds' connection being torn at once.

i barely realized i hadn't read a single sentence in its entirety in the last ten minutes though my eyes still grazed the lines swiftly,   only without absorbing its words.   a sigh escaped me then.   alright,   i'll bite.   i placed a bookmark on the page before closing it with a faint thud and finally met his gaze,   glaring back at him with patient curiosity instead of annoyance and anxiety,   though i felt both.        “    ‘something wrong,   lestat?    ”

[morbyds]

c.   /   @glimpseus​​​​ ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ ᵈᵉ ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵉˡⁱˢᵃᵇᵉᵗᵃ ᵃᵐᵈⁱˢ

“    it's not usual to meet an old one of us for the first time at my age,   so forgive me if i look a bit taken aback.     ”       i was positively astounded.   one from the same time period as me?   you would be surprised how few of us there were,   or perhaps not.   and i would always be an eighteenth-century man at heart,   even if it stopped beating.   a thousand years would pass and that would never change.   so to meet one like myself,  why,  it almost brought me to tears.

there was nothing i missed more than my mortal life,   though i undoubtedly found ways to have fun with the ancient powers i had been gifted.   ichor flowed in my veins for a goddess had granted me a taste.   forever i would be grateful for now,   i seldom could be killed.   not even the sun could destroy me.   both a blessing and a curse,   i realized.        “    are you hungry?   should we hunt as we converse?   i would like to know more about you.    ”

[morbyds]

p.: i have seen death over and over and over and over again. it’s boring.   /   @coeurz​ ᵇʸ   ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ   ᵈᵉ   ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ

despite my attempt to conceal it,   my shock was probably obvious to his ever attentive gaze.   i could not conceive the day i would ever call death boring,   for i never expected to be entertained by it.   that was the difference between him and i.   to him,   feeding was an art,   one of which he was a master and i,   his pupil.   my refusal to succumb to the evil nature of my new being was interpreted by him as a defect,   though he would not say it out loud nor could i read it in his thoughts,   i could see it clearly in his grey eyes whenever i returned from a “hunt” or he began one of his own.

“    then stop killing altogether. . .   how 'bout that?    ”       it was partially a joke.   i didn't expect him to change his mind when we had this conversation before,   yet i can't say that i wouldn't have liked it if he did listen.   i glanced back at my book,   hoping to get swallowed by the words so i could ignore the weight of the guilt i still carried for the desire i still felt.   the more we spoke of human blood,   the more my body was reminded of its undernourishment.        “    i personally don't wanna get to that point myself,   and i'll do my damned best not to.    ”

[morbyds]

p.: you were unholy right from the start .   /   @sanguilt​ ᵇʸ   ˡᵒᵘⁱˢ  ᵈᵉ  ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗᵉ  ᵈᵘ  ˡᵃᶜ

at first glance,    there was something beautiful in the religious guilt that weighed my louis’ shoulders,   in the shame that tinted so many layers of his damned existence.   yet somewhere inside,   i had quietly hoped that he would outgrow it,   that he would learn to see the beauty i see in the destructive nature of our condition.   if nothing else,   for i knew how that story went otherwise:   the flames calling his name as they once did my second creation.   i understood guilt only when i thought of nicki.   it was not the same.

“    oh,   louis,   you say it as if it's bad.    ”       i snarked with an arched brow and a preening grin,   analyzing every shift in his expression with feline attention.   unholy.   i liked the sound of that.        “    what a flimsy concept,   that is.   there is no such thing as holy.      ”       a chuckle followed my words and i leaned closer to share it in a secret.        “    they only mean to control you with the blame placed on your back for faults they all,   too,   possess.   how is that fair?   would you not say,   mon cher,   that it’s better to be honest than hypocritical?     ”

[morbyds]

p.: ❝ one hungry day is nothing, come what may. ❞   /   @altarcup​ ᵇʸ   ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ  ᵈᵉ  ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ

an empty stomach,   soiled clothes worn for too long;   part of the visions in your mind.   let them hate you,   let them see the disgrace you bring in your veins,   and may they no longer expect anything else.   then perhaps you shall be happy,   perhaps you shall find the beauty lestat sees in all that surrounds you.   even the dirty,   even the grim.

dark eyes refuse to leave the golden-dipped figure of god in your lover,   and you silently beg ichor to flow in you too.   oh,   how life should be easier if you shared more than your rebellious impulses,   he who is so perfect even you    (  skeptical,   loveless  )    felt compelled to follow him into hopeless adventures.

would he tire of the dead weight you bring into each conquest?   you couldn't linger on it,   instead overtaken by the bittersweet taste that lingers in your crooked smile.

“    come what may,    ”       you agree with stubborn laughter.   however absurd this man might be,   you are enamoured with him.   soul placed reluctantly on his reckless palms,   without the chance of an escape.   despite it all,   he understands you,   and most of all accepts you,    what more could you ask for?        “    then pack your bags,   my love.   ——   we're going to paris.     ”

[morbyds]

p.:  stay with me!   /   @coeurz​​ ᵇʸ   ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ   ᵈᵉ   ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ

there was so much i wanted to say,   dancing on the tip of my tongue,   begging to be unleashed with all the grievances i sat with alone at dawn.   i have given you too many chances.   i cannot live with your secrets anymore.   you have taken too much away from me.   but nothing came out.   not a single word made it past my lips.   i simply stared at the man i once trusted blindly enough to follow into eternity,   realizing i still clung to that feeling of refusing to see what was in front of me.   but not claudia.

no,   claudia had seen it clearly when i could not,   and that was why she left.   unlike me,   she knew that she deserved a better life than the one lestat offered us.   her search for meaning in the eternal curse the dark gift carries,   unlike mine,   was nuanced and detached.   she had never been under lestat's spell as i had.   as i still was.

so i swallowed around all the words that clogged my throat,   my expression blank as i felt the familiar numbness in the depths of my chest.   a black hole for all of the thoughts that haunted me,   one shaped like claudia.   i couldn't think of anything else.   and i knew that lestat didn't care.   not about me,   not about claudia.   his only resentment was that i had not been giving him enough attention.

it did not matter i was broken,   it didn't matter if she was lost or hurt either.   as if he expected me to wake up one night and feel whole again,   then got pettily disappointed when that wasn't the case.   he left me every night,   often slipping in at the crack of dawn without a single sound as if i couldn't hear his heartbeat from a mile away.   and now he asked me to stay.

the worst part was realizing that a part of me wanted to comply.   so i kept my mouth shut as i turned away and stepped out of the door.

[morbyds]

c.    /   @rotless​​​​ ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ ᵈᵉ ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵇᵉᵃ ᵈᵃⁿᵉˢ

“    hello,   ma chérie. . .    ”       despite my grand entrance,   i did not make a sound.   i had slithered in through a window i forced open,   feet hovering above the carpet as it barely touched.   my voice ruined the surprise,   of course,   but i couldn't help it.   how bored i had been.        “    allow me to introduce myself,  for you have been looking for me.   i'm lestat.    ”       i thought of the old rules they once enforced in europe,   of how nameless should a vampire remain.   i had never been fond of rules,   or of self-preservation.   i arched my eyebrows and spread my arms with pride.

“    lestat de lioncourt.   or,  well,   lestan gregor,   or whatever is the name i'm going by at this day and age.   whichever you would prefer to call me.    ”       flashing fangs in a smile,   i took a seat uninvited,   crossing my legs with the grace of an ageless aristocrat as i gazed upon my host.        “    i am sure you have questions,   and i am willing to answer them.    ——    lucky,  aren't you?    ”

[morbyds]

c.   /   @therelentless​​​ ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ  ᵈᵉ  ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ  ᶠᵒʳ  ⁿᵃⁿᵈᵒʳ

“    i can't say i'm too familiar with your coven. . .   but i know some.    ”       what a quaint arrangement.   ancient beings that surround themselves with mortality,   making the most of their ignorance as i once hoped to do.   they seem to be fine,   however,   unharmed and unbothered by the attention their peculiarity brings.   i found myself enamored with the whole situation.   if anyone was to understand the need for notoriety and entertainment i felt,   i hoped it would be them,   for my own companions never did.   eternity is,   after all,   dreadfully boring otherwise.

“    for example,   i was extremely saddened,   and even slightly offended,   to find out through mortal means that i have never been personally invited to any of the so-called vampire orgies.   in fact,   i had been led to believe they were merely a myth.    ”

[morbyds]

c.    /   @marblecarved​​ ˡᵉˢᵗᵃᵗ  ᵈᵉ  ˡⁱᵒⁿᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ  ᶠᵒʳ  ᵈⁱᵈʸᵐᵉ  ᵛᵒˡᵗᵘʳⁱ

“    my time in italy is,   unfortunately,   counted.   but i must say,   how impressed i am by this city.    ”       there was something eerie about it in the most beautiful way,   something about the constant whiff of death and warm blood that permeated every wall and crevice of the cobblestone streets,   more and more intense the closer you got to the castle.   within these walls,   now,   i understood why.   a coven rules this town,   and i may have heard their name whispered in fear by those younger than me once or twice.   it only enticed my curiosity to know these powerful beings who enforced the rules i had most certainly broken before,   and would most likely break again in the future.

i found them,   at last,   their dangerous lair.   putting up a show as their own théâtre de vampires,   in a way,   but with bigger ambitions than that of nicki and others long gone from existence as well.   perhaps i should be afraid,   but i seldom did.   i had not asked to be turned,   and i had the utmost fun testing every limit i could think of.   there was always something new to learn.        “    now,   you must tell me for i'm still curious about how these affairs work;   what is the story told to your mortals?    ”