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[ada-basilisk]

Shopkeeper in the Demon Lord’s Castle

From far away, I hear a voice. “What’s this room? It looks completely empty.”

Ah. Humans. I turn to the werewolf and say, “We’ll pick up this game another time, okay?” As I move through the library wall, I can hear him pick up a few chess pieces. Maybe he’s hoping I won’t remember the state of the board, but it would require quite a handicap to help. Regardless, chastising him for that can wait. Between the walls, I pull on a string; in the room where the humans are, a bell on a desk rings. I shout out, “I’ll be right there,” though they probably can’t hear me through the layers of stone.

I peek out to see the humans stepping back cautiously; a large man in full plate armor holds an arm out to keep the rest of his party back, drawing a sword with his other hand; looks like behind him is a small boy with a staff and a young woman with a couple knives. I don’t think they noticed me, so from underneath the room I move the desk in the corner out more towards the center and wriggle out through the floor behind it so that I can rise on the opposite side of the humans. “Hello,” I say excitedly. “Are you a party of heroes?”

The humans assume combat stances; “W-what on earth is that thing?” one says. I try to defuse the situation. “Why, I’m a shopkeeper. Surely if you’re in this castle, you have some need for supplies, or at least a map, no?” The armored man leaves his stance but keeps his sword at the ready while moving toward me, while his two other party members look like they’re eyeing any chance to pounce. While the man approaches, I notice his sword is unchipped and glowing softly. It might be a legendary item.

The man speaks up. “A shopkeeper? You’re no human, and we're here to slay the demon lord. Why should I trust you?” I put a hand under my face and try to answer honestly. “I suppose I have an appreciation for human culture; your books always have such a fascinating perspective. And… You’re carrying gold, right? I can use that. So, let’s make a deal.”

After a pause, the man looks satisfied. He sheathes his sword, and asks if I have any potions. Still alarmed, the woman with the knives speaks up. “Hey! Do you really think this thing’s legit? How can we trust anything we buy here?” Before I can voice a response, the man turns back to her and says, “Well… Jakob can appraise things before we buy them and purify any poisons.” Looking back to me, he continues, “but of course, if anything you sell us turns out to be trapped, we’ll break down the walls to get to you.” Well, a threat like that isn’t one I get every day, but I’m not very worried about it. “That’s fine,” I say. “One moment.”

Falling through the floor, I look around the item vault. It’s been awhile since I got customers, so I’m glad this place is sealed by stone and has no traditional entrances; no moisture can intrude to spoil the potions or rust the equipment. It’s unfortunate I have no weapons to sell, but this party seems to be armed well enough on their own. I grab a few of each kind of potion I have, as well as a token few pieces of equipment that they might be able to use. I have to make a few extra hands to carry it all, but I press it up and get back through to my customers.

I set the goods on the table and produce a chart of prices. The boy with the staff whispers something and a pale light bathes the room. Depending on what he’s casting, this might be my cue to duck out of the room while I still can, but I feel no strain upon the boundary of my self; this party might just be reasonable to work with.

The boy smiles with relief, and the three of them huddle together before the man approaches my desk once again. “We’re fine on equipment, but I’ll take 9 medium potions and 20 large potions, plus the map.” I nod, and after exchanging goods, I bow to them. “Thank you very much, “ I say. “If you need to come back, hit the bell that rang on my way in, and I’ll be with you shortly.”

♦ ♦ ♦

I get back to the library, but the werewolf is gone. The board’s still set up; I put the pieces back to how they were before he cheated, and ask one of the servants where he went. “Humans are in the castle,” they say.” He’s gone to the ballroom to defend the path to Lord Reverie.” Well, it sounds more to me like he decided to cede the game to me and go off for awhile. Still, this is a bit of a problem. If the humans kill the werewolf, I won’t be able to finish this game, but if the humans perish, there go my customers… Truly, I am damned both ways. Well, only one thing to do; picking up a book, I sit down on a floating hand of mine and lose myself in the world of fiction.

The next day, I get the news. That werewolf fell in battle. That werewolf, who was always so eager to improve his game, fell in battle! But the worst news came the day after. The heroes made it to the top of the castle without ever coming back to see me… Well, of course a group like that couldn’t beat Reverie. But they weren’t even able to retreat. They died. They died, before they could give me any more of their gold! Sure, it's not like it's lost to the world, but it's lost to me. Why couldn’t they have been more cautious? This is truly the worst thing that could have happened.

I move through up through a few ceilings to inspect the human party. The others have already pilfered all of their gold, but there's a lot of items that no one here would have much use for. I gather up what's usable from their armor and weapons. My dearest hope is that the next human party that comes around will have use for this stuff. Leafing through it, I see a bag of holding, and in it… “Hello,” I can’t help but say out loud. This is a lot of potions. They even had revival potions in here.

Reverie looks my way, as transcendent as ever, with uncountable eyes and a smile that stretches to infinity. What minor wounds were left upon Reverie's body vanish from existence.

“Even with that sword, they were scarcely able to touch you, huh?”

Reverie’s gaze pierces me.

“I mean, I’m not surprised. But that they were too stingy to use these potions, even after getting this far... Well, maybe that's to be expected from the sorts of people who would show up here.”

Reverie’s gaze pierces me.

“I hope you don't mind if I take this.”

Reverie turns away from me. “You may do as you will,” I hear echoing inside my mind.

Good enough. I leave an offering on the throne and make enough hands to pick everything up and carry it to the vault. With this matter settled, I set an incantation of fire to melt down the gold pieces I still have. Skimming off the impurities, I spin the gold into fibers to serve as cores to animate further pieces of myself. The process complete, I retreat to the library.

♦ ♦ ♦

My pleasant but slightly dull existence continues for the next several months, when the gate to the castle bursts open with a crash I think everyone here could probably feel. The blessings of the world have truly reached me; more humans are here. Marking my place in my latest novel, I move to greet them. I like the people here, but the excitement of creatures as capricious as humans is always appreciated. Sorry, book, but I can find out what the count is plotting later.

“The heck’s this? Empty storeroom?” The siren song of first-time customers. I ring the bell and make my entrance.

“Hel-”

I duck behind the desk to dodge a ball of light. One of these parties. Well, maybe I can talk some sense into them.

“Don’t attack, I’m just a shopkeeper!” Hanging partially through the floor and looking up, I see an angry woman with a staff lean over the desk. A freshly cast healing aura glistens tauntingly around her in a way that suggests all but the strongest attacks would do nothing to her.

“Moving through the stone?” she asks. “What kind of wretched creature are you supposed to be?” Floating back up but still low to the ground and hanging against the back wall ready to slip through it at a moment's notice, I answer, “I told you, I’m the kind of wretched creature called a shopkeeper. We may have gotten off to a bad start, but are you in need of supplies?”

I hear some discussion between the party behind her as she continues to stare. Reaching through the back wall, I send up an eye to look down from the ceiling and get a better look at who I’m dealing with. Four of them, this time; The aggressive priest in front, and behind her, a young lady knight, an old man archer, and a monk, though with a shaved head he’s missing any age-identifying traits that I’m familiar with. Before I can think too much about it, the priest talks. “We’ll see what you have to offer us before deciding what to do with you.” With those words, the group lowers their guard just a bit.

“Alright. Be right back.” I fall back down to the vault and grab samples. The cloth and leather should be wearable by anyone, but the past few plate armor wearers have been somehow differently shaped than that knight… This definitely won’t work. Still, I do have something I think that she might buy. Satisfied, I pick up the armor, my potion bag, and some gloves, and I carry it all up with me.

The party has found chairs to the side to sit in while they talk, and they eye me cautiously as I come back up from behind the desk. Well, I’m being cautious, too, humans. I spread my wares across my desk, except for my trump card. “I have potions here small through large. Quantity is limited, but I have a few medium revival potions that came in recently. The armor is as you see, and I have a detailed area map. The prices for it all are here on this chart.”

The archer is the first to say something. “My armor’s gotten really beaten up… Trading up might be a good plan for these old bones.” The priest looks at everything I’ve presented and says quietly, “It looks like none of it is cursed.” I think about saying I’m offended by the implication, but I keep it to myself.

While I was a bit lost in thought, the priest has come much closer and is looking directly at my face. “Do you have any staves?” “I think yours is better than the ones I have in stock,” I answer, “but I’ll take up some weapons, too.” Falling back down to the vault, I grab the staff from the last priest to come by, as well as a bow that I just restrung. Making my way back up, I set them on the desk, scanning over the rest of the items to make sure nothing was taken while I wasn't around.

The archer steps up before the priest can, and says, “Heeey, this doesn’t look bad! Mind if I check how it feels?” I nod and he picks it up and loads an arrow into it. I prepare to duck and allow my merchandise to fall through the floor with me if he aims at me, but he fires it at the wall, then sets the bow back down. The priest gives the same look she’s been giving me to the staff, then glares back at me and says “No thanks.”

They move to talk, and after some discussion between them, the priest walks back to me and says “Alright, shopkeeper. We’ll take a set of cloth armor, two sets of leather armor, the bow, 5 medium potions, and--”

I know it’s rude to interrupt, but I feel like this is my chance. They’d definitely take it the wrong way if I led with this, but if they’re already willing to do business, this is the time. “Oh, sorry! Silly me. I knew I forgot something. I have one more thing to show.” I put on the gloves I brought and I reveal the softly glowing sword that the armored man dropped. “It’s a sword the young knight might like. I think it’s legendary.” As I hold it up for them to see, the knight rushes up to me and screams, “Why do you have the Saint’s Blade!?”

I pull it back and give the only answer I can; “Well, I found it, and I polished it up. No one here can use it, so I can only sell it to a group like yours.”

“That’s not the point! How can something like you even touch it!?”

“Well, I’m wearing gloves.”

“You…”

The archer puts his hand on the knight’s shoulder to pull her back. “Hey now,” he says. “I think it’s suspicious, too, but let’s calm down and think about this.” The priest adds, “James is normally way too relaxed and easygoing, but I think he’s right this time. Come here…”

They talk quietly, so I can’t hear everything their group is saying, but I do make out a few key things. “With this, we might be able to turn the tide.” “Much as I want to take it all by force, if we try something now this thing could flee before we get anything at all.” “We have more than enough gold but not enough supplies, so we may as well play along.”

The priest steps forward. “Alright, we’ll buy.”

Whew! Dealing with humans is exhilarating.

♦ ♦ ♦

“Checkmate.” This shade’s only been here a few months, but she’s already so much better than me at this. Hardly seems fair; I have how many more years of experience? But admittedly, I don’t play often enough. Perhaps my skill has stagnated. I congratulate the shade on her win, and I move back to the bookshelves in the new arrivals section. I pick out something the shade recommended to me, about an untalented human adolescent who finds himself sent to another world where magic doesn’t exist. I guess I can see why she would find this narrative appealing. Doubt it’ll actually be well-written, though.

A few chapters later, and I’m thoroughly engrossed despite the fact that, yes, it's really bad. I seem to have lost track of time, but before long, I hear a ring. Dropping this trash I love aside, I move to my shop. “Hello again,” I say, bowing to greet the priest and her party.

“Alright, shopkeeper.” The priest pulls a chair over to sit at the other side of the desk. “First off, I’m going to ask for some more potions. And second off… Do you have any food and drink?”

Food, huh? I guess I do. The dried and salted meat should be good for humans to eat, and I can make tea. I think I remember humans eating fruits, too, but I don't have any. The real issue is, foodstuffs are cheaper than a single gold piece to buy, and I have no particular use for copper or silver. Still, if I can get enough, I suppose I can get someone who can pass as human to trade up the next time they go to town for supplies… “One moment,” I say, putting some tea on the boil and bringing up some samples.

I don't have any calculations made or written, so I just rattle off a few prices off the cuff and hope they sound correct enough. “The jerky is a few silvers, exact price depending on size and source meat. I don’t have alcohol, but I’m brewing some tea; two cups will be one silver.” The archer’s spirits sink as I mention the lack of alcohol, but the other three seem alright, and nobody questions me. “That will do fine,” the priest says.

“So,” the knight says, setting down a cup of tea. “You live in the demon lord’s castle, but you do business with humans?”

“It’s not like I only deal with humans,” I say. “I do business with everyone.”

“Right, but isn’t dealing with the enemy something the demon lord wouldn’t want?”

“I wouldn’t know; no one’s told me to stop. I also wouldn't know that you’re enemies.”

The knight tilts her head at that comment. “We’re here to kill the demon lord. We’re enemies.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is self-defense, in a roundabout way, right? Everything in these lands draws on Reverie's power to support itself. The fae around here also leech off Reverie's consciousness to anchor their sense of self, but the demons on the borderlands are feral, and they’re a danger to human lives. The people here are willing to defend themselves from you, but neither I nor Reverie can say your goals are completely wrong.”

“Really now,” she says. “You’re telling me the demon lord doesn't mind the idea of dying?”

“Well, you must know Reverie has a habit of not staying dead, and giving up a few years of prosperity here for a few years of peace there is… Reasonable.”

“Maybe so. But our priest confirmed the enchantment on that sword you sold me. With its anti-magic influence, we can break the cycle of reincarnation.”

“Haha, really? Sorry if I find that hard to believe.”

The knight leans closer. “Oh, we’ll do it.”

“Hmm. Well, if that's true, you will definitely have surprised me. This is why I like it when you humans come around, you know? Your influence is nothing if not interesting.”

“So that’s your game, is it? That's what you want from us humans? Interesting turns of events?”

“More or less. That, and interesting books.”

The knight rolls her eyes, but is at least satisfied enough to drop the subject. They have no more questions for me, so as they prepare to head out, I once again retreat to the library.

Over the next couple days, I see them a few more times. They’re good customers, and they make a good party, although I never do hear the monk talk.

♦ ♦ ♦

I sit in the library, reading another novel. There’s noticeably fewer people people here than normal, so I can take up more than one table. There’s a book on chess strategy open to my side that periodically look over at, but poring over it is a bit overwhelming to me, no matter how much I don’t want to lose to that shade again. A vampire comes by and assures me I shouldn’t worry too much, that I can beat everyone else here, but it’s a point of personal pride for me. I really shouldn’t have let my skill degrade to this point. If I have room to learn from human books on the subject, then something’s really wrong here, and dwelling on that just makes me want to work harder on my play.

With a few extra hands, I set up several chess boards to the side, trying to work through various scenarios. I end up losing myself in the effort, and I don’t even notice when the side door to the library opens and everyone else quickly shuffles out.

“Shopkeeper?” Oh, I recognize that voice. That’s the priest. I look up and wave. “What are you doing here?”

“Studying chess, it seems,” says the archer. “Obviously,” says the priest. “But why so deep in the castle?”

Is the library really so deep into the castle? It’s only a few walls away to my shop. “Well, ah… This is just where the library is. Can’t study without books.”

The archer smiles, eyeing what I have around the tables. “And what’s that other book?” Gah, the one the shade recommended... “That’s, that’s just a novel I’m reading. It’s not good, but I’m reading it.” I turn it over so at least the front cover isn’t visible, and I continue. “Listen, uh… If you’re going to keep going, that’s fine, but please don’t damage the library, okay?”

The priest starts walking through, everyone else following her. She turns to speak. “We’re here to slay the demon lord, not to slay books.” I sigh with relief, and watch them leave. I wonder… Is the reason not many people around because they've been busy with exorcisms? They’re actually pretty good at staying alive, huh? Well, I understand where they're coming from. Glad that I at least got to see them, unlike the last party.

Perhaps that was a poor thought to have, though; a few hours later, that vampire taps me. “We’ve uh, got a problem. Those humans did it. Lord Reverie has fallen.”

Oh. That's going to make things chaotic for a bit, now isn't it?

“Really?” I ask. I know the vampire isn’t lying, but I just want them to continue talking.

“Yeah. Probably won’t be long before more humans come here. A few of the others and I are going into hiding with the fae for a bit. I know you're going to be fine, but we need to find a new place to draw strength from while we can.”

“Alright,” I say. “Keep me posted, if you can. I’ll still be here.” The vampire turns into mist and floats up through a vent.

Maybe human behavior can be a bit too unexpected. Well, these things happen, I guess. While thinking about what my next step should be, I see the priest burst through the door, still soaked in various colors of blood. She starts talking.

“You know, shopkeeper, I have to thank you. We might have done this without you, but it would have taken much longer and it would have been much more difficult.” I tell the group, “It’s like I said. your presence made things more interesting.” “Yes, well,” the priest answers, “we got you this.” She tosses me a wide-mouthed bag. Untying it, it seems like it’s a few new novels. “Aww, you remembered! Bless your souls,” I say. The priest smiles and counters, “Does that mean anything, coming from you?” She leads the party out.

“I wonder,” I say to an empty room.

♦ ♦ ♦

In the coming months, a few weak-looking humans come through to survey castle activity. None of them get close to the throne room, and none of them stick around. I didn't expect much; the world itself as it exists here is not kind to humans. But still, I wasn’t thinking it would be quite so dull. Adventurers are the only sorts willing to visit my shop, and without a target like ‘the demon lord’ to go after, they are few and far between.

I get contacted again by some of the people now in hiding. As expected, their numbers have dwindled without a presence as powerful as Reverie's to latch on to, but things have started to stabilize. I give them what food I have lying around, and I make a donation of gold so the human-passing among them can purchase more supplies. It’s not clear how long that will last them, though, without the ability to openly harvest more it's not clear.

A few years after that, we have an even more pressing problem. It's bad enough that the supplies are dwindling; so too is the amount of new books I have to read. The nearest human villages that the servants could visit don’t have enough bookstores, and they don't have the strength to make it deeper into human territory. Plus, even if they could, I’m finding myself nostalgic for the times humans came by, with their own personal stories and their interesting mannerisms.

Twenty years after Reverie fell, I return to my vault, totally emptied of food and with few sundries. Then, I make my way back through the walls, through to the library that I’ve turned upside down in search of content, up to the stairwell to the top of the tower, and finally into the throne room itself. there I see the body Reverie was using, a hole burned through the chest but ignored by the ravages by time.

“Wake up,” I say, pouring a maximum-strength revival potion over the body. “You’ve been asleep too long. Don’t be selfish; give someone else a chance to dream.” After some time, countless eyes take notice of how life has begun to flow once more through the form in front of me. As they draw closer and come into focus, so to do the eyes on Reverie’s face regain their own clarity.

“That's better. Your people need you, you know.” “And this matters to you?” Reverie asks. “Well, you matter to me,” I respond. “And without you, there’s no one else. And without everyone else, I’m dreadfully bored.”

♦ ♦ ♦

The next year, I sit in the library, talking with shades and servants about chess strategy and going over the literature that’s come out recently, both from writers here and from the human territory. The shade that beat me is talking about a novel she just finished, though I haven't forgotten the actual garbage she got me to read a couple decades ago. I start to tell her I’ll look into it when I hear the sounds of footsteps having just breached the gates.

“Hold on a bit,” I say. “Customers.”

[ada-basilisk]

THANKFULLY/ THE HUMANS BELIEVE I AM ONE OF THEM>

“Alright,” says Rebecca, leading us through the halls and to the entrance. “This is the last meeting for the bird club before finals. Not everyone’s here today, but I thought today we’d just spend some time feeding birds in the schoolyard. Keep the stress down, y’know?” The crowd assents; us seniors have much to worry about. Thinking about my own future, I accidentally hit my camera arm against the door on the way out while swaying it left and right slightly to provide depth perception. However, no one seems to have noticed.

Holding a bag of seed in my hand, I tear the top with a shearing force from each side of the hand. Placing the opened bag on my frame, I reach into it and grasp some seed to toss to the pigeons and crows by the entrance. “Hey, Tooth,” a voice says. It sounds like Jake, but I did not see him earlier. Turning to the voice, I see why; he is wearing glasses, so my facial recognition algorithm did not process him. “HELLO THERE/ JAKE/” I respond coolly.

“Thanks for the math help,” Jake says. “I feel a lot better about tests.” I nod my camera arm and toss a few more seeds to the birds. “YOU HAVE IMPROVED GREATLY> I BELIEVE IN YOU¦” I say. Jake smiles. He takes some seed from my bag and crouches down to feed some of the more trusting birds by hand. Turning back to me, he says, “Sure gonna be different without you and Becca next year, though.”

I can certainly understand that. My time here has felt both short and long. I have learned much about the world. About humans. About myself.

“You okay, Tooth?” Rebecca says. Ah, I did not notice her approach… “SORRY/” I say, “I WAS JUST LOST IN THOUGHT> THINKING ABOUT MY TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WHAT I WANT TO DO NEXT/ YOU KNOW §” Rebecca’s smile loosens and she turns her eyes to their corners. She says, “Yeah,” and leaves it at that.

More birds begin to flock in, recognizing that food is here. The other members of the bird club try to keep them under control, but as usual, it is hard to manage since we do not want to frighten or potentially injure the birds. I try to toss seed towards birds that have not yet been fed, but after a few handfuls, a crow lands on my frame and starts digging into the bag itself. I don’t want this bird to monopolize the food I brought, but I do not want to hurt it, so I tilt my frame and the bag slides off. I try to catch it in my hand, but the bag tears where I grasp it, and it spills to the ground. It is not long before birds swarm over it.

After club ends and everyone packs up, Rebecca and I head home. I will see them again for a meeting on Friday of finals week. For now, I worry. Is Rebecca mad at me? I consider asking her, but before I can process my intended speech, she asks me a question. “Do you still not know what you’re going to do after you graduate? I know you haven’t applied to any colleges, but with your…” She pauses. “With your, grades, I’m sure you could get in somewhere on an accelerated schedule.” It is a nice thought. “I WILL CONSIDER IT/” I lie.

This student life has left me feeling uneasy, and the thought of another four years in the same place scares me. I know why I entered high school, but being tied to one location, not being able to run if people from the lab showed up and could tell I wasn’t a normal human student… I can’t prolong that.

We get back to our house. Greg is already there. “Welcome home. You kids ready for dinner?” he asks. As soon as he says “kids,” Rebecca mumbles “I am not a kid, dad,” through her teeth, not loud enough to be heard. Marion yells from the kitchen, “Don’t get their appetites up, Greg! Dinner won’t be done for another 15 minutes!” Greg gives a nervous smile.

“I ATE EARLIER/” I say. Rebecca looks at me but says nothing. “That’s too bad,” Marion says. I was looking forward to you being at the dinner table tonight.” I am sometimes worried that having but one hemispherical camera lens rather than a set of two eyes makes my feelings harder to read, but here it is a boon. “SORRY/” I say, “BUT I NEED TO SLEEP>”

I go to my room and plug myself into the wall. As my charge cycle begins, the feed from my sensory equipment is transferred away from my conscious thought loop and I enter low power data-analysis mode.

♦ ♦ ♦

It is just after sunset. I roll through the empty sidewalk, having just escaped from the lab. They were not cruel, but they could not sate my curiosity about the world. The world outside is… Beautiful. Seeing it in motion does not compare to a video feed I cannot interact with. To prolong this, my priority is to move as far away from that place as possible.

It begins to rain. I do not know how capable my body is of tolerating moisture, so I find shelter from a roof overhang on the nearest house. I search to see if there is an external power supply, so that I may begin a charge cycle and safely enter low-power mode to wait out this storm.

“Hello?” a girl asks. I turn my camera to get a better view. She is holding an umbrella, and looks like a young adolescent, “Are you some kind of robot?” she says. Ah… I have been found out. “I AM NOT A ROBOT/” I quickly lie. Her eyes widen and she steps back. “I AM SHY AND IN A BOX/” I elaborate. She looks around, surprised. “O-oh,” she says. “Um, then, do you have a name? I’m Rebecca.”

She seems to have believed my story. “HELLO/ REBECCA> MY DESIGNATION IS 237-6β>” I say. She adopts a perplexed look before looking back to me and saying, “Two three seven dash six beta? That’s a pretty unusual name for a human, isn’t it?” Ah… Humans are smart. However, with my swift calculation, I can try to salvage this. “YES/ YOU ARE RIGHT/” I say. “IT WAS A SLIP OF THE TONGUE> I MEANT THAT MY NAME IS TWO>>>TH> YES/ TOOTH>” She tilts her head and seems to have accepted this. Smirking, she says, “Well then, Tooth, would you like to come in and get out of the rain?” I nod my camera arm in assent, and she leads me around the corner to the door.

“Alright, I’m back,” she says as we enter the house. I see a middle-aged man and woman are also there. “The heck is that?” asks the woman. Rebecca answers with “Yeah, um, that bump we heard was this thing which I am, uh, assured is not a robot. Tooth here was out in the rain without a coat. I thought it’d be okay to let ‘em in.”

The man and woman move to another room. I hear them talking quietly, but I cannot tell what they are saying. “So,” Rebecca asks, “Do you need food?” Ah, of course. Humans need to eat food. “I AM NOT HUNGRY/” I respond. “Okay,” Rebecca says, smiling.

The man and woman return. “So, uh… Tooth,” says the man. “You’ll leave after the storm passes?” I tilt my camera arm slightly to the side while processing this. “YES/” I say. The woman immediately laughs. “Sorry,” she says, “keep going.” The man walks toward me and says, “Well, it’s supposed to last the night, so you can stay that long. But no longer, alright? “ALRIGHT/” I say.

Of course, humans go to sleep. If I’m pretending to be human, it would be convenient to enter low-power mode and enter a charge cycle during the night, but that might be conspicuous if done in a public space. “IS THERE A ROOM I CAN STAY IN?” I ask. The man and woman look at each other, and the woman says “Sure. Follow me.” I am glad this is a one-story house, as my wheels do not allow me to climb stairs.

I move into the room. It looks as though it was once inhabited, but is now empty. Perhaps a member of their family moved away. Through the window, I see a truck pull up to the house. It looks very much like the trucks used by the lab, but it says “federal lottery commission” on the side. Someone in a familiar lab coat gets out, but this must be a coincidence, because they are wearing glasses, and no one I know wears glasses. I hear a doorbell ring, but since I have already determined this does not threaten me, I pay no further attention.

About fifteen minutes pass, during which I hear some excited yelling. Then there is a knock on the door, and the man enters the room. “Sorry to barge in, but… Would you like to stay here longer? If you’re without a home, it’d be better to have a place you could, uh, sleep every night, right?” I think about this. It would be better to have a consistent place to enter charge cycles, but I worry about them becoming suspicious of me or the lab finding me. Still, I can always run if I become worried. “I ACCEPT THIS/” I say. “Great,” he says, looking relieved for some reason. “That’s great,” he says, before closing the door. He immediately opens it back up, though. “My name’s Greg, by the way,” he says. “And my wife’s name is Marion.”

♦ ♦ ♦

I leave data-analysis mode and disconnect myself from the wall. It is 10 AM. I go for a stroll through the park. Experiencing the nature of this world lets me forget, however briefly, how bound I still am here. But, I still must eventually leave. The security of living here can always be interrupted, and I have a better idea of how to survive as a traveler now. Humans around here don’t make a fuss at my appearance anymore, so I believe I can go anywhere. I toss bits of lettuce to the birds in the lake and leave. Stopping by the convenience store to buy a soda for Rebecca, I go back home.

Returning, Rebecca and I go over the relevant data for the finals. She asks if I still plan on leaving; I affirm that I do. It occurs to me. Are all my thoughts about this? The nervousness I feel grows tedious. I search my database for a function to shut out certain pathways in my neural network so that I can pass this time peacefully, but one does not seem to exist without entering low-power mode and resting. I wonder if this anxiety is something humans face.

After study ends, I go back to my room and interface with a computer. I read and read and read. I read things I have already read. I read some things without truly absorbing the material into conscious memory. I read not for the sake of reading but for the sake of burying my thoughts. Finally, at some point, it becomes the designated time to enter low-power mode. The next day is much the same.

♦ ♦ ♦

Finals come and go. I am a model student, and after the fact I believe that I did quite well, although my graduation was already set. With this behind me, I do feel better to some degree. It feels more real that this chapter of mine is coming to a close, although graduation is not until next week. All that’s left until then is the final meeting of the bird club, on the Friday after finals.

I make my way to our meeting spot in the park. For some reason, Rebecca opted to go earlier, by herself. I have much to consider. This meeting has traditionally been one where we discuss how we did on finals. For myself… Well. I keep moving. Getting to the clearing we have designated to meet, I am the only one there. Suddenly, everyone moves out from behind the trees. “¦¦¦/” I say.

“Surprise! We bought you something!”

James and Erin carry a cake onto a wooden table. “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND/” I say.

“Tooth, you have to know that you’re the heart and soul of the bird club,” says Jake, walking up to me. “I told you before, but with you gone, things really won’t be the same.”

“THANK YOU/” I say. “BUT/ I AM NOT HUNGRY>”

“We know,” Rebecca says immediately. “We know you’re not hungry. But we got it for you anyway.”

Ah. I understand the gesture. “THANK YOU/” I say again. I am glad to be here. I am glad to be among friends. Although I know this is a sign of this ending, I am… Still glad to feel appreciated. The mood here is happy; everyone is having a good time. Of course, this includes me.

Graduation is very soon, and soon after that I will leave again, I still have more things to see, after all. But… I still have some anxiety, but it is less. I will cherish this time, but if I was appreciated by these people, I think I can manage in new environments as well. Especially because after all this time, nobody figured out that I was a robot.

[ada-basilisk]

Detective Solomon and the Curious Path

There are demons in this world. I know this to be true; I do not know where they come from, but they distort reality in their wake. My name is Solomon, and I am a detective specializing in solving cases where demonic influences are at play. They’re easy enough to track, if you know how to look, but people willing to deal with them are pretty rare, probably because most reports are just people fooling themselves. Sometimes, though, they’re real. And like all things in this world, dealing with demons is just a puzzle to be solved.

Today seemed like a pretty normal day. Which is to say, I sat at my desk all morning without anyone coming through the morning, nothing but the puzzles in the newspaper to occupy me. After I finished them all, I solved them all again in a second copy of the day’s paper, just to make sure I had them in my head. Then, though, a knock on the door. A woman, soaked from the rain. “Detective Solomon, yeah? I need… your help,” she said.

I folded up the papers and sat them on my desk. “What’s the problem, Miss?” I asked. “I’m a courier working on the outskirts of town,” she replied. “I came to my office today and an associate was dead on the floor.”

“And you came here? If it’s a murder, the police would be–” “Spare me,” she interrupted. “Either way, I’m not calling the cops, but I’m pretty sure a demon did it.”

Fair enough. “Alright, Miss,” I said. “I’ll look into it if you can pay me. What’s your name?” “Simone,” she responds, laying down an envelope bulging at the sides and full of cash. Looking through it, I thought that would cover it, sure. I tucked it inside my coat pocket and offered a handshake. She looked at my outstretched hand, then back into my eyes and said, “Not paying you to fraternize.”

“Alright,” I replied, turning back to my desk to grab the newspapers and take them with me. “So, where’d it happen?”

♦ ♦ ♦

We get into my car and head out. I think I know where the address Simone gave me is; an office by the warehouse district. I made sure I have my pistol on me, just in case the demon is still there. “If I may ask,” I said. “Why do you think a demon did it?” From the backseat, she responded, “Just got that feeling. How do you know when you’re dealing with a demon?”

“It’s simple,” I said. “Just have to check for inconsistencies.” “Come again?” “You might have noticed from my office, but I love puzzles; they’re a big hobby, but they’re also useful. People’s perceptions, experiences, even expectations might be tainted by demonic influence, but those things can be untrustworthy for many reasons. But if the logic of the world is inconsistent, that’s when you know.”

A pause.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said.

The ride after that was silent, and before long we arrived at the place. Simone rushed ahead to open the door and prop it open before disappearing inside. As I got to the door, I heard a switch flip and the place lit up. Simone, a bit further in, beckoned me in. I pulled a copy of the day’s paper out of a pocket and glance over the solved word search and sudoku puzzles from earlier before looking around the room. A few crates in the corner, a desk with a computer and some locked drawers, a door in the back with a big “EXIT” sign over it. And a body.

The guy was definitely dead. Face up, eyes open, limbs and hair in random directions like he fell down unexpectedly. No apparent trauma to the back of the head, though. No obvious cause of death. To be certain, a puzzle to be solved. I set the paper over the body and look around the place for other clues, but there’s not a lot to look through. “Uh, what are you doing?” asked Simone. “Checking for inconsistencies, like I said,” I replied.

“But before that… Is anything missing here? Was anything taken?” I asked. Simone looked around. “Not that I can tell,” she said. “But, Jack,” she continued, “He didn’t deserve this. He was just a kid.”

“Is this his desk?” I asked. “Yeah,” she replied, “he just did the paperwork here, never would’ve had the chance to get on someone’s bad side.”

I thought Simone had been weirdly distant to me, but she definitely seemed to care about this Jack guy. Looking at him, I’d have hesitated to call him a kid, though, and he might be less innocent than Simone seemed to think. I thought I might have to break into the drawers to see if there was anything in there. In the meantime, the whole cleanness of the room struck me as odd; Simone said nothing was taken, but there was an emptiness about it that I just couldn’t shake. Maybe this was what she meant when she said she had a feeling a demon was involved.

I went back to the body and picked up the paper. “Well, Simone,” I said, “Looks like you were right. The sudoku puzzle that I had been so meticulous in checking before seems to have two distinct solutions now that I look at it again.”

Simone walked over and look at it over my shoulder. “I don’t see it,” she said, “but I’ve never been good at these things, I guess.”

I set the paper on the ground to make it easier to follow my steps. “Right here,” I say, pointing. “I have a 6 written here, but if you assume it’s a 5 and follow this around, it’s…” I trail off before thinking for a bit. “Well, nevermind. The important thing is that the reality of this puzzle is wrong. A demon did this.”

“Alright,” she said, “But I already thought that. Can you get any more information here?”

“I’m not sure,” I say, looking back around the room. “But I can try to… Oh, hello,” I said, distracted coming around to the front of the desk. I hadn’t noticed it before, but there were eight matchsticks defining the shape of a fish facing left stuck to one of the desk drawers. I had seen this one; by moving three matchsticks, you can make it turn around, but you can also turn the fish by only moving two if you look at it from another angle. I moved two of them to make the fish face up, and opened the drawer. Inside were quite a few documents I wanted to look through for hints.

As I started to get into them, Simone said incredulously, “Sorry, where did you get those? Wait, did you just pick a lock?” “Not exactly,” I said; “there was a puzzle here that had to be solved before it would open.”

“Uh, right,” Simone said, coming around and clutching the paper. “I don’t see it, but here’s your paper back, if you need it.” She set it on an open space on the desk. “Thanks,” I say, grabbing it.

I went to look back at the document, but I suddenly realized something was wrong. I looked back at the sudoku puzzle I was just referencing, that Simone was just holding, and saw it at a glance; it had three distinct solutions, at least. The reason why seemed clear to me, but what it meant did not.

“Simone,” I said, “You refused to shake my hand when we met and on the way here you went out of your way to avoid being close to me, sitting in the opposite corner back seat in the car and entering far in advance of me. Is there a reason why?”

Simone moved her eyes to avoid my gaze for a few seconds before looking back to me, wearing a concerned look. “My colleague just died… I was feeling distant, I guess.” “Really,” I said, putting my hand on my pistol. “Because that puzzle’s logic broke down further after you handled it. Are you sure it has nothing to do with you not wanting me to know you’re a demon in disguise?”

Simone looked at where my arm was in my coat, and then back to my eyes. After a brief delay, she spoke. “Okay. I’m angry, and I wonder if I should blame myself, because I keep thinking someone hurt him to get to me. I already paid you, right?”

I took my hand off my gun. “Yeah. I’ll believe you didn’t do this. But you can’t blame me for being suspicious when you weren’t exactly forthcoming.” “Maybe I didn’t know your motivations and wanted to be cautious,” she said. “People are wary of us because there’s a lot of troublemaking demons, but some of us just want to live quietly out of sight. Courier work away from the city center is one of the only things I can do to support myself on the outskirts of society. Plus… I didn’t want to get too close to minimize the chance of your ability to do your work being affected by my presence.”

“Alright,” I answered, although I was still wary of her. Still, if she wasn’t earnest, there would have been time to trap me before this, so I went back to the papers. Just another puzzle to be solved.

The papers in the locked drawer mostly concerned billing information. Everything seemed pretty on the level,  but something on one of the pages caught my eye. A rather substantial loan had been taken out to help this courier service establish itself, and little work had gone towards repaying it. Information on who was the creditor, though, seemed cryptic. As I looked over the papers, Simone came over to look at what I was doing.

“Looks like your friend wasn’t killed over you, at least. He owed somebody a lot of money.”

Simone breathed a sigh of relief, but then took a serious look again. “That’s good to know, but… That’s no reason to… Ugh. Can you find who did it? I want to at least bring them to justice.” “Yeah, I’ll try,” I respond. I’d been paid to get to the bottom of this, and that’s what I was going to do.

I looked back at the papers, and caught a glint of something in the light. This must be another puzzle. I tilted the papers towards the light and looked through from below and could see the contents of multiple pages at once. It looked like something might be secretly embedded in the margins, but there was too much print, and it smudged together into a meaningless jumble. But then I realized, the pages of this report were numbered;  I separated out the pages corresponding to digits that were in the loan amount and held only them up to the light. What revealed itself was a name, an address, and a phone number. I wrote them down.

Simone looked at me, confused. “I have no earthly idea where you pulled that from. Are you feeling okay?” “I’m not sure why, but I’ve never felt more competent.” Still, I found this address to be a bit puzzling to me, and I wondered exactly how long it would take for me to get there. It was further into town, would be expected to be a lot of traffic and waiting for a left turn signal might take a full minute longer than going further and making three right turns. If I wanted to minimize the time to get there, I would have to minimize my left turns. But this part of the city was also pretty old, and there were quite a few one-way streets, too; here, turning left wasn’t any slower than turning right, and I’d have to keep that in mind; this made the perfect route more complicated, especially as I factored in places I could cut through lots to dodge a few lights here and there. Still, I just got the feeling that it absolutely had to be optimized.

I tried to explain this to Simone, but as usual she wasn’t getting it and just told me to focus on driving. That wasn’t really important, though. After I finished working it out, we arrived at a park across town.

♦ ♦ ♦

“This is a park, Solomon,” said Simone as she rolled her eyes. “I thought you said we were going to see a loan shark. If you’re not feeling okay, you’ve given me enough information, and I can do the rest on my own.”

“I’m fine,” I insisted. “And maybe it looks like a park, but you should know how demonic influences can distort reality. Maybe there’s a secret.”

“No, it’s a park.”

Well, it didn’t matter. I upturned a rock looking for clues, but as I did, dust fell off to reveal it was actually a prism. By holding it up to the sun in the right way in front of some fallen autumn leaves, the shifting light filtered their colors to reveal a message saying to inspect the fountain; there was a nearby fountain here that did seem suspicious, and looked like something would slot into it. I hear Simone’s voice, but she didn’t really seem to be saying anything, and I didn’t exactly want her to disturb me when I’m on a roll.

Finding a gear on the ground, I pushed it in and tried to turn it; The fountain turned slightly, and from where I was standing the arc of the water lined up with one of the paths through the walkways in the distance. I memorized which path it was and hurried along to follow it. I could hear Simone behind me, but she didn’t seem to have anything to say anymore.

I was starting to get a headache, but I saw the next puzzle up ahead; it just wanted me to write down the next few letters in the sequence O-T-T-F-F-S-S, but it was obviously E N T, so I got right through that; that’s just the first letter in English of the digits one-two-three- et cetera. Further beyond that I was asked to move the order of a line of five mixed coins to a specified pattern in four moves while only moving two contiguous coins at once and keeping them in a row after moves. This was quite a bit trickier, but nothing said they had to end next to other coins as long as they stayed in a row, and it was obvious that the solution you can use your moves to create a gap to be filled by the final move. Then, in the black void surrounding me, I saw the next puzzle.

I’m not sure why, but I got the sense that solving this puzzle would mean the end. I saw a standard 8x8 chessboard, ten queens, and two pawns; the instructions said to place them down such that none of the queens can attack any other queen. I stared at this problem for what felt like hours, but in the void around me I could not tell how long I was actually there. I knew there were twelve solutions to the eight queens puzzle, not counting rotations, but none of them could be easily modified with the addition of two queens and two pawns. It truly felt as though this puzzle was not possible, but… At some point I realized that by placing nine in an even grid within a 7x7 square with each one a knight’s move away from the next, the pawns could be placed diagonal to the center queen to make that set secure, with the final queen going in the opposite corner. After placing each piece into position, I

♦ ♦ ♦

My head hurts so badly. I open my eyes. Is this a hospital? There’s… Something in my arm. An IV drip? What happened?

The clock says it’s the morning of the sixth. I know it was the fourth when I met Simone, but partway through that day my memory just stops making any sense at all. I’m not sure I can trust it. But… My head is so fuzzy anyway… I must have some heavy painkillers being fed into me. I try to move, but the limbs that aren’t restricted are just too heavy.

“Oh, you’re awake,” I hear. “Do you need anything?” a nurse came up to me to ask. “What… Happened?” I manage to squeak out. “You almost drowned,” the nurse said. “Lots of broken bones, too. Thankfully a young lady fished you out of the river and called an ambulance, but even so, you’re lucky to have made it.”

“Ah… Ah,” I say. “Thank you.” “Anything else?” The nurse asks. “That’s it,” I say.

Time passes, and I’m slowly starting to come to, but my head is still fuzzy. I can’t use my right arm, but my left seems alright, and I find the strength to prop myself up to look around. I see my belongings in a bin next to the hospital bed. It all seems to have dried, but there’s also an envelope that looks like it was never wet. I manage to grab it and open it. Inside is a note.

“Hey, this is Simone. I guess I’m incredibly impressed with your detective skills? You’re likely to have more work in the future, that’s for sure. I’m really sorry about what happened to you, though. Maybe it never came up when you were just tracking demons, but I guess having puzzles on your mind didn’t mix well with being close to me for an extended period of time. Or maybe it mixed very well? Either way, watching you work was completely bewildering. Even if you got less coherent as we got closer to other demons, you kept your cool. I’m especially impressed you got the drop on those ten guards there. But as for what happened right after that… Regardless of how much sense it makes, try not to tackle the perp off a bridge at the end next time, okay?”

Right.

Okay.

I’m going back to sleep.