#zizka's definitely the other one who doesn't give a shit straight away

[bakasara]

yay to the ol' ~let's run away together~ and a somber nod to the gritty realism of an open-secret relationship between hans and henry that will perennially leave jitka as the rejected wife-- but enough of that for a second. i've been to both clubs and i know all the songs!

the funniest and by far most compelling option for fanfic exploration TO ME is that jitka simply arrives with a personal handmaid who follows her everywhere. that's it.

she corrects everyone who calls her a servant to "my job is to tend to my Lady and ensure my Lady's safety", and always claims to be, idk, something like a poison expert and master embroider in the same breath -- but she never further elaborates, making anybody who'll deign to listen terrified to wonder just what exactly she is capable of doing.

naturally, Henry "Isterik Truther" of Skalitz is the first one to go 🤔 but it doesn't take long for all four of them to be squinting at each other two by two. they are all correct in their assumptions.

rosa loves visiting because she wouldn't miss the chance to be around other smart and willful women in a place where female independence of thought is valued. katherine is likely the wariest of the few in the know for a world of reasons but comes around as soon as she realizes this is two women who feel just as alienated as her in their own way.

and hans and jitka both agree to have a child for the sake of peace -- but then they realize they've gotten this far anyway, so... which is how the four of them band together with a selected few from henry and hans's ragtag team of people to fake a pregnancy in the longest-running and craziest con any of them's ever run. zizka does not dare compare it to the italian court heist because he fully believes this is crazier.

bozhena gets involved because someone trusted has to "deliver" the "baby", which is definitely not some child she relieved some other, slightly older child of (with her knowledge, so henry can get his beauty sleep at night).

at this point it's not even 'cause jitka and hans having to have a child would be that much of an imposition, it's just that this is far more in the realm of the kind of insane schemes all these people get into.

sam is really confused how he figures in all this at first but eventually he gets involved on priciple. "aww, 'cause of henry~!" yes sure but he also decides the whole thing is an incredibly funny way to stick it to a cruel world and he should do more of that in his free time.

i just know godwin has to run so much background interference he's coming out of it looking 10 years older. it is still most definitely the early 1400s and not everyone of the allies who end up knowing is necessary unfazed by the hansry of it all, even among those trusted enough for hans and henry to lower their guards, but godwin is officially the first one not to give a shit -- nor be especially surprised -- that hans and henry are now smooching.

i have 20/10 vision on this it's a whole thing