#zillah was enough T-T

[13leaguestories]

Tierra! What are our dear superstition ROs doing for valentines?

I'll slide in to go ahead and do this now.

Chris: Has been preparing a romantic dinner. He's cooking and everything, setting the mood, this man has sweated through three t-shirts cos he needs everything to be perfect.

Sydero: Nothing. That bitch on the sofa sleep.

Zillah: Still trying to figure out this holiday so he's more so going off of what Roe says. But if it was up to him completely then he's taking them out to an overly expensive restaurant. Probably hates the food but hey, it's what the rich people are doing and it seems common enough.

Rahim: A lovely date where one half is what Rahim chose and the other is what Roe did. Probably will have a picnic afterwards and go for a late night drive.

Amari: Movie night! Doing a blanket fort, got some snacks, get ready for the rest of the night to be cuddles, food, and cheesy romcoms.

Chanara: Bought a teddy bear and a gift card. 100% nervous cos she really has never celebrated Valentine's Day like that. Has no idea if this is suitable enough and at this point, way too scared to ask.

[marlowe1-blog]

Book Review: Lost Souls by Poppy Z Brite

Still the most disturbing vampire novel

Recently Billy Martin, aka Poppy Z Brite, announced that he was back to writing. He sold a short story to a friend's anthology and he was writing another one. This was met with a great deal of excitement. For Generation X, Billy was the greatest. Then a few days later, dispirited and depressed, Billy wrote on his Patreon that he was no longer writing. He wrote a story for another editor and that editor rejected the story.

On Facebook, the outpouring of love and support for Billy was amazing. Billy has been through a lot and around Hurricane Katrina, he gave up on writing. HIs restaurant books were not selling and his publisher was demanding more horror. He was depressed from a great deal including gender dysmorphia (he still presented as female at the time) and eating disorders.

The support was either "We REALLY want to see you writing again, because you inspired us" or "take care of your mental health first".

Writing is a tough gig. It's hard to make money at it. It's hard to believe in yourself. It's almost impossible to sustain that belief over the years. The doubts set in. The rejections pile up. The occasional acceptance can feel false. Like ok, this editor is saying that my story is great and wants to pay me money. What's wrong with them? Most writers build up calluses, stop putting their self-worth in the next acceptance, struggle with the feelings that they suck. We read old stories that we thought brilliant and wince with embarrassment, but also take pride in how far we've come.

Billy didn't benefit from these experiences. He was an overnight sensation. Yes, he wrote a lot of garbage as a teenager like we all do and he had some disappointments and rejections, but he sold his stories to a zine when he was young and then when there were enough stories, got a collection published. Harlan Ellison read those stories and got very excited. So did Dan Simmons.

Then came Lost Souls. Billy was in his early 20s when he wrote this book. Most writers are writing trunk stories and embarrassing manuscripts at that time. Billy wrote the nastiest vampire book of its time, inspiring horror writers - especially splatterpunk and extreme horror writers - ever since.

Unfortunately for modern readers who might love to see anything new from Billy, Billy had to deal with all the self-doubt and struggles afterwards. On Livejournal, I criticized a media tie-in book he wrote for the Crow series and he was pissed. We both apologized for the incident (or at very least the nasty feelings from the incident) years later and we're friends now - well online friends - but it was very confusing at the time.

I was a nobody. I mean I'm still a nobody with a few books published through Dybbuk Press and some stories in anthologies. But back then I was even more of a nobody. I had maybe Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre published and as far as my stories were concerned, I had sold a few of them and made maybe $20 total. That's $20 spread out over 4-5 markets.

So why was anything I said getting under the skin of the guy who wrote Lost Souls?

T-Nightingale at Devientart

When I revise this for Substack, the above is going to be seriously edited down.

Anyhow, Lost Souls came at a strange time. Anne Rice had written two amazing vampire books, one pretty good vampire book that got real dumb in the last third (Seriously Queen of the Damned has a woman thousands of years old deciding to create world peace by killing all the men? REALLY? That bullshit wouldn't fly in an Introduction to Women's Studies class). Francis Ford Coppola turned Dracula into a comedy. Vampires were more popular than ever, but defanged.

When Molochi, Twig and Zillah come to the French Quarter looking for absinthe and fucks they are fucking intense. Christian, the bartender and the one vampire that might walk through an Anne Rice novel, doesn't like these vampires, but they are fellow vampires. What are you going to do.

Within a few pages, the vampires are revealing their identity to a vampire groupy and Zillah is fucking her in the backroom. Mardis Gras is over and that girl is doomed.

Because in the world of Poppy Z Brite, vampires aren't made by other vampires. You don't become a vampire by drinking vampire blood. You don't kiss your new master and then sink your teeth into his new cut. No. Vampires are born.

Vampires are born by eating their way out of their mothers.

Later on Christian fucks a goth boy who wants to become a vampire. Christian drains him and feels bad about it, but it's not Christian's fault if the normies don't understand vampires.

This scene sets the tone for a book that has zero chill. Nothing, the sad goth boy (and vampire who doesn't realize that he's a vampire) would be a parody of teen angst in another book. Then there's Steve and Ghost, semi-adult band members who have a tangled history and a lot of heartbreak between them. They run the band that gives the book its name but they are also messy characters. Steve is borderline abusive to his girlfriend while Ghost protects Steve.

They are the nicest characters

Nothing is a big fan.

An aside: the writing style is fucking poetry. Seriously check this out

The, last dying days of summer, fall coming on fast. A cold night, the first of the season, a change from the usual bland Maryland climate. COLD, thought the boy; his mind felt numb. The trees he could see through his bedroom window were tall charcoal sticks, shivering, afraid of the wind or only trying to stand against it. Every tree was alone out there. The animals were alone, each in its hole, its thin fur, and anything that got hit on the road tonight would die alone. Before morning, he thought, its blood would freeze in the cracks of the asphalt.

That was later an issue with Billy's writing as Billy did not like editors telling him to change his sentences.

Ok. More tomorrow. I need to actually talk about the book itself past the prologue, but I also have a paper to finish (800 more words to go) and I need to wake up early tomorrow for jury duty.

Fuck Jury Duty.

[dahlia-coccinea]

What are your thoughts on Linton? I know the majority of people strongly dislike him, and although I agree that he wasn’t the best person, he was abused by Heathcliff, used as part of his plan, and I understand why he became so bitter and selfish. Heathcliff mentions at least once that Linton just wants to be loved and cared for, and yet no one is caring for him. I understand why people dislike him but I don’t agree that he’s the worst character in the book by any means, especially considering the actions of many of the other characters. Linton hardly did anything compared to some of the other characters. I just want to get your thoughts, because I so often see everyone hating Linton and I wanted to know what you think

I mentioned some feelings towards his character about a month ago - I’d say it sounds like we’re pretty much in agreement with his character. He is a victim and it is understandable why he is so childish and selfish. I do understand why a lot of people hate him, but I think it is unfair to say he is the worst character when others commit more heinous actions than anything he does. I also think a lot of the reasons why people dislike him aren’t the right reasons. He is annoying, yes, but what makes him dislikable is that while he can be a victim, he can also be an abuser (much like his father). In a scene after he gets thrown out of the room by Hareton during one of Cathy’s visits we see a rather ugly side of him: 

“Linton was white and trembling. He was not pretty then, Ellen: oh, no! he looked frightful; for his thin face and large eyes were wrought into an expression of frantic, powerless fury. He grasped the handle of the door, and shook it: it was fastened inside.

“‘If you don’t let me in, I’ll kill you!—If you don’t let me in, I’ll kill you!’ he rather shrieked than said. ‘Devil! devil!—I’ll kill you—I’ll kill you!’

Joseph uttered his croaking laugh again.

“‘Thear, that’s t’ father!’ he cried. ‘That’s father! We’ve allas summut o’ either side in us. Niver heed, Hareton, lad—dunnut be ’feard—he cannot get at thee!’

I think Joseph is right that he does exhibit the same hatefulness that Heathcliff is capable of. Later Heathcliff makes a similar connection between his son and himself during a conversation with Cathy during which she says:

“Linton is all I have to love in the world, and though you have done what you could to make him hateful to me, and me to him, you cannot make us hate each other. And I defy you to hurt him when I am by, and I defy you to frighten me!”

“You are a boastful champion,” replied Heathcliff; “but I don’t like you well enough to hurt him: you shall get the full benefit of the torment, as long as it lasts. It is not I who will make him hateful to you—it is his own sweet spirit. He’s as bitter as gall at your desertion and its consequences: don’t expect thanks for this noble devotion. I heard him draw a pleasant picture to Zillah of what he would do if he were as strong as I: the inclination is there, and his very weakness will sharpen his wits to find a substitute for strength.”

He does cling to Cathy’s affection and it is quite tragic that he is obviously lonely and neglected and horribly used in Heathcliff’s game of revenge - but he is also quite cruel to Cathy for no real reason and even when acknowledging some sympathy for her, it never comes close to the level of pity he feels for himself. A scene that this is apparent is after he and Cathy are married, in Chapter 28, when he tells Nelly:

“He (Heathcliff) says I’m not to be soft with Catherine: she’s my wife, and it’s shameful that she should wish to leave me. He says she hates me and wants me to die, that she may have my money; but she shan’t have it: and she shan’t go home! She never shall!—she may cry, and be sick as much as she pleases!”

And later in the same conversation after Nelly asks him where Heathcliff is at present: 

“He’s in the court,” he replied, “talking to Doctor Kenneth; who says uncle is dying, truly, at last. I’m glad, for I shall be master of the Grange after him. Catherine always spoke of it as her house. It isn’t hers! It’s mine: papa says everything she has is mine. All her nice books are mine; she offered to give me them, and her pretty birds, and her pony Minny, if I would get the key of our room, and let her out; but I told her she had nothing to give, they were all, all mine. And then she cried, and took a little picture from her neck, and said I should have that; two pictures in a gold case, on one side her mother, and on the other uncle, when they were young. That was yesterday—I said they were mine, too; and tried to get them from her. The spiteful thing wouldn’t let me: she pushed me off, and hurt me. I shrieked out—that frightens her—she heard papa coming, and she broke the hinges and divided the case, and gave me her mother’s portrait; the other she attempted to hide: but papa asked what was the matter, and I explained it. He took the one I had away, and ordered her to resign hers to me; she refused, and he—he struck her down, and wrenched it off the chain, and crushed it with his foot.”

“And were you pleased to see her struck?” I asked: having my designs in encouraging his talk.

“I winked,” he answered: “I wink to see my father strike a dog or a horse, he does it so hard. Yet I was glad at first—she deserved punishing for pushing me: but when papa was gone, she made me come to the window and showed me her cheek cut on the inside, against her teeth, and her mouth filling with blood; and then she gathered up the bits of the picture, and went and sat down with her face to the wall, and she has never spoken to me since: and I sometimes think she can’t speak for pain. I don’t like to think so; but she’s a naughty thing for crying continually; and she looks so pale and wild, I’m afraid of her.”

He has no regard for her feelings about her father being close to death, he feels some pity when she may be in pain but is consoled by the idea that she deserved it for pushing him. This whole conversation reveals a horrible vindictive streak. I think he’s a character that perhaps if not for his illness and other more pitiable aspects readers may more likely have come to truly hate him, rather than just be annoyed by him. Still, I certainly don’t agree with the idea that he is the worst character or does the worst harm in the book - or that because he is annoying that makes it okay that Heathcliff is abusive towards him. Like the other characters, he is complex and flawed but is not without humanity or is unworthy of sympathy.

[13leaguestories]

Hiiiiii! Replaying Superstition for the nth time so it's circling in my head again-

Anyway, here's a prompt if you're interested:

It's summer! Is the Superstition gang a cold pool or hot bath kinda person?

Also, what's their swim wear and how would they spend their time at a pool?

All in all I'd say they were a: go to the lake behind their house or to the beach kind of group. Pools are just too *does something weird with my hands as if you guys can see it* Yep.

Chris: Nice go-to swim trunks. You know, typical wear. He is definitely getting in the water and coming up with five hundred different ways to jump in. He'd be the one who would tie the tire to a tree to use it, despite everyone telling him that tree branch isn't strong enough.

Sydero: Black bikini piece. Girl looks like temptation. First half is around Zillah and the two of them are judging every soul and playing "fuck, marry, kill." The second half is somehow being enticed to join in on the games.

Zillah: In a speedo. I have a broom ready for anyone ready to argue with me. Literally the type to come out there with a speedo, expensive ass sunglasses on, and glistening from sunscreen that should not have been that expensive. He's just going to lay around and look cute on a chair. He's gossiping and judging folks from behind his glasses.

Rahim: Shorts and a t-shirt. Be glad he didn't walk out there with a hoodie. He complained most of the time about how he doesn't want a tan. Unfortunately he's sitting beside Zillah the entire time, reading his book. Fortunately, he learned long ago that air-pods are a beautiful thing.

Amari: One-piece cutie. She's the one carrying the cooler out there as well as a bag full of balls, frisbees, cos she's going to have fun. She's about to get the most out of this beach trip and already convinced the group to go to the pier to get ice cream and stuff later. Technically speaking, she probably is the one who planned the trip.

Chanara: Cute two-piece bikini with shorts. Nice design on it too. She has no idea what she's going to do until she sees that volleyball net and dragging Chris and Amari over to play with her.

Bradley: The group keeps throwing his shirt at him but he keeps stripping it off. He thinks it's because they see him as a kid when it's really because he refused to put sunscreen on and they're trying to help him not turn into a lobster. He does not listen. He is a lobster child now. Chris and Syd will 100% slap his red chest to remind him why he should listen next time. Cute enough, he's with Amari most of the day. The two of them are chaos re-imagined.

[13leaguestories]

This came randomly to me after I understood all the characters and their personalities and stuff, buuutttt, how would they react if they went through the dream Roe had at the beginning of S1? The one they told the therapist? And how would they look or respond to Roe after being told that’s what happened to them?

I’m mostly curious about the main crew like Chris, Sydero, Bradley, Rahim etc.

(Absolutely loving superstition and your writing and I’m sitting here waiting for the rewrite like a child waiting to play games with their parent)

It's chugging along, Anon. Hopefully I can share more soon.

So, Chris actually knows about the dream. As he obviously knows why Roe is going to therapy. So canon is Chris does just think it's a dream and agrees with the therapist where they always say it was just a way to explain the trauma in a more child-like manner.

Going through it, Chris wouldn't have told anybody. He'd be traumatized to hell and back but he would have kept it all to himself and tried to rationalize it away.

I'm trying to remember if Sydero knows but I think she knows the gist but not all of it. Either way, she'd probably be able to understand Roe the best since going through her own childhood trauma in Hell with "The Box." Going through it I think she'd come out like how she came out of her own ordeal, traumatized and that trauma is absorbed into her personality.

Not doing Zillah cos he knows what happened and it's kind of hard to transfer someone who knows what happened to a T into something.

Interesting enough, Rahim didn't go through childhood trauma, not in the same way as Syd and Roe so I do think if he did go through Roe's dream then he'd be different but my gosh I can't even imagine how. As he is very much a momma's boy so what would her death + the horror of it do to him. Like, would he be more Sydero coded??

If Roe told him I think he'd try and give them some bullshit excuse or some sentiment that means nothing, mostly because of the angel's hand in everything. He's not good when it hits too close too home.

Amari is a good one because she would 100% be horrified if Roe told her and she would just be speechless. I think she would be horrified of shades after that and she would definitely start asking the important questions like "do all the reaper hybrid kids go through that" and "what would have happened if it worked out like it was supposed too."

She wouldn't survive it I think. I think if Amari lost her mother the same way as Roe, she would not be anything like she is now. She would be so much more of a shell, no bubbly personality or positive outlook.

Chanara doesn't know, doesn't even have an idea of what happens for the reaper hybrids. She knows they exist and Death needs them but that's about it. So, I do think if Chanara knew she would start questioning leadership. She's a good soldier but she's not great at hiding her thoughts when she doesn't agree with something, which is why she mostly tries to mind her own business.

If she went through it I think it would be similar to Roe but mix a bit of Winchester spirit in there. Chanara wouldn't have just chalked it up to a dream and would have doubted the "true story" until she learned of the supernatural and went on a revenge journey.

And lastly, Bradley would probably be like "damn, you too." I might even try to incorporate Roe telling him because I think that at the very least the OG crew (Syd, Chris, and Bradley) should know about it. If Bradley went through it then just add shades too the list of the beings he detests. If Bradley was Roe, Zillah wouldn't have made it because Bradley would have done everything he could too flip the tables and make Zillah pay and wipe him off the face of the planet.