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dilf-din · 1 year ago

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A Million Little Heartbeats

Pairing: Joel & Ellie

WC: 2650

Warnings: none, maybe light language, the fluffiest fluff

A/N: I absolutely adore these two. They control my brain. Please enjoy Ellie surprising Joel on his birthday.

Ellie looked nervously across the table at Tommy and Maria, brows knit together and chewing her lip. She was too scared to be hopeful yet. The idea came to her on a whim, and, well, that whim became a carefully mapped out trip for her and Joel.

Maria looked down at the map and back to Tommy. He was bent over their kitchen table carefully tracing the route with his pointer finger. Ellie could tell by their body language that an entire unspoken conversation was happening. Eyes flitting back and forth from the worn atlas pages to the other’s face. Because it was regarding his brother, Maria decided to default to Tommy, trusting his judgement.

“Looks good to me, Ellie girl,” he said with a soft smile, straightening his posture to look her head on.

“Sooo, we can go?” she asked slowly.

Maria took one last look at Tommy who broke out in a toothy grin, “You can go.”

Ellie yelped and rushed to hug him, “Thank you both so much. I think it’ll really mean a lot to him.”

“It will,” Tommy said with a mix of joy and sadness in his eyes. The veil of grief lifted slightly to show what really lay behind his usually cheerful facade.

“I’ll need your help convincing him,” Ellie explained, gathering the map in her hands to carefully tuck into her backpack.

“I’ll take care of it,” Tommy winked.

Joel was supposed to be meeting them soon for supper at Tommy and Maria’s. He was finishing up some repairs on the livestock fence, replacing the rotted boards with strong, new ones.

Ellie was so excited she felt like her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest and start skipping around the room with her. She had to play it cool though. Joel knew her too well to let a particularly anxious mood go unnoticed. Thankfully, Maria emerged with Jonah on her hip, the perfect distraction for the way her mind was currently spinning in circles. He made grabby hands to Ellie who happily took him into her arms.

“Hey buddy!” she grinned as he threw his arms around her neck in a warm embrace, his wild curls squishing against her cheek. “Do you want to pick out a movie to watch before dinner?”

“Balto!” he yelled, kicking his feet as Ellie made her way to their tv. They didn’t have a huge movie selection, a couple of cartoons that Jonah liked to sift through. His current fixation was with the wolves in Balto, but Ellie really liked the days he picked the Iron Giant. She popped the tape into their VHS player and sat on the floor in front of their couch. She pulled a faded throw pillow off and tucked it between her legs to make a seat that Jonah gladly took, tucking himself back against her chest while the slightly fuzzy commercials started playing.

Joel came in a few minutes later, wiping his boots on the mat before closing the door behind himself. He smiled at the sight of his nephew snuggled up with Ellie as they watched the same movie for easily the hundredth time. He thought fondly of sitting in that same position with Sarah watching Free Willy over and over. Her love for animals dictated even her movie choices at that age.

“Get it all fixed up, big brother?” Tommy asked clapping him on the shoulder.

“Shouldn’t be any more lambs sneaking into the greenhouse,” he said confidently, shedding his jacket to make his way into the kitchen with the other adults.

Dinner went on without a hitch. Maria prepared some delicious chicken and rice in a cream sauce. She used some of the last of the late summer blackberries to whip up a simple cobbler for dessert.

Once they had all had their fill and pushed back from the table, Maria led the attack.

“So, Joel, I understand you have a birthday coming up,” she said coolly.

He snorted and shrugged, “Just another day.”

“What if you did something this year?” Tommy suggested nonchalantly, jaw resting in his hand, elbow propped up on the table.

Joel drew his eyebrows together, “Now hold on, what’s goin—“

“I want to take you to Colorado!” Ellie blurted.

Joel turned to face her. “Colorado? What? Why?”

“I’ve got it all mapped out and everything. It’s a surprise though, you can’t know until we get there,” she said quickly, grabbing the map from her bag and shoving it into his hands.

Joel looked from the map across the table to his brother with confusion painted on his face.

“That’ll take weeks, we can’t jus—“

“Maria said yes,” Ellie quickly cut him off.

Maria nodded, the look on her face confirming the accusation. “We can spare you two and a couple of horses for that long. As long as you look around and try to bring back anything you think could be useful, that’s all I ask,” she said with a shrug, drawing a long sip of coffee from the faded blue mug in front of her.

“We’d need to leave by Saturday if we’re gonna get there on time,” Ellie explained outlining the carefully drawn route she had agonized over.

“Alright, kiddo, you lead the way,” he smiled at her, eyes crinkling at the edges.

She smiled warmly while he laced an arm around her waist and brought her in for a squeeze, pressing a small kiss to her bare arm.

The pair spent the next few days gathering supplies and packing their bags. They counted on being able to hunt for most of their meals, bringing a large stash of jerky as a last resort. Ellie was getting pretty good with a rifle. She was itching to be able to join the patrol rotation in the spring when she turned eighteen.

Joel kept trying to get her to slip up and tell her the reason for the trip, but she just rolled her eyes every time.

“I’m not telling you, so quit guessing.”

Saturday morning rolled around, and the two were at the stables at dawn loading up their horses. Joel was on Callus, Ellie paired with a white and grey speckled mare named Andromeda. At least that’s what Ellie called her. She’s always picked stars and constellations saying their given names were too boring.

With a couple of extra bags secured for supplies to bring back, the two headed out, Ellie taking the lead. The last of the August heat had faded as September swept in with a chill. Ellie had the sleeves of her flannel rolled up, and the hairs on the bits of her forearm that were exposed were standing on end. Her hair was getting longer, she had taken to pulling half of it back to keep it out of her eyes just like Tess wore it. Whether that decision was subconscious or an homage to their fallen friend, the small reminder sent a pang through Joel’s chest the first few times he saw her like that.

He sat back in awe, reveling in how much she had grown since they first met in Boston. He never thought he’d get another chance to see a kid grow up. It’s like she picked up right where Sarah left off, a little gift from the universe to mend his heart back together.

After they had been on the road for about an hour, Joel spoke up, “Can I get some puns, Ellie girl?”

She turned over her shoulder to give him a mischievous grin. “I came prepared!” she called back, waving No Pun Intended Vol. 2 in the air. She had tied it to her waist with her jacket for easy access. She flipped to the spot she had dog-eared and let out a groan, “Aw man, this page is ripped.”

“Oh no,” Joel called back.

“Yeah, it’s pretty tear-able.”

“Jesus,” he snorted, erupting into a chuckle.

They took 191 South straight down into Utah, only making it in to Colorado with two days remaining of their three week trek.

They settled for the night just after crossing the state line as indicated by the faded road sign they passed, settling by an old rest stop Joel said was for tractor trailers that used to drive across the country. They fed and watered the horses and set up camp on the backside of the concrete structure. The pair had been lucky enough to not see another soul so far, but he had reluctantly agreed to split the watch shifts with Ellie so they could both get some rest.

A few days back, they had found some canned goods, and so were helping themselves to a meal of jerky, lima beans, and corn. They fire crackled like popcorn kernels jumping from their shells. Joel said that meant the wood had a little extra moisture in it and hadn’t dried properly.

“Are you gonna tell me where we’re goin’ now?”

“We’re headed towards the White River,” Ellie responded, scraping the last bits of corn out of the can with her fork and setting it beside her with a contented sigh.

“Towards?” he raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“Will you just trust me old man? No more questions,” she chastised, her tone of voice lighthearted.

“Fine,” he grumbled, trying to seem discontent, but, truthfully, he had loved all the one on one time this trip had provided them. Between school, running around with her friends, and spending every free second at the stables, Joel felt like he was losing his grip on her. Not that he held with a tight fist by any means, but she was growing up, branching out. It hurt like hell and was beautiful all at the same time, like watching your baby taking their first wobbly steps, knowing you need to keep your distance or they’ll never keep going. But the fear of seeing them fall was thick in the air, even if it would only hurt for a second. He experienced this with Sarah, but never to this degree. If Sarah made it to her age, she’d probably have a license, a job, a boyfriend. Joel smiled sadly into the flames, eyes flitting to his shattered watch face. What he wouldn’t give to hold her just one more time.

“I’ll take first watch,” Ellie announced, standing up and breaking his concentration.

He nodded and pulled out his sleeping bag. Ellie tossed him hers so he could double up and try to take some of the sharpness out of the hard ground. He fell asleep thinking of Sarah, of her melodic laugh and soft brown eyes. He didn’t often get good dreams of her, even still, so he held on to this one with white knuckles.

Ellie saw him tensing in his sleep, fists clenching and unclenching. She wondering if the nightmares would ever fade for either of them. If he was still fighting his monsters, she figured she would be for a long, long time. Sentenced to a life of dreading evening’s gentle tide that would inevitably turn into thrashing waves.

Just one more day of traveling, she told herself, this would all be worth it, make everything feel a little lighter.

Another day of travel brought them another twenty miles closer. They would reach their destination by early the following morning, landing perfectly on Joel’s birthday. Ellie hoped with everything she knew how that everything would work out, that they would still be there. What if she brought him all this way for nothing. He noticed how she had retreated into herself the closer they got to her pencil mark on the map.

On the morning of his birthday, they packed up early to head out by dawn. Just one more quick stint and they’d be able to settle down for a few days, let the horses rest.

They had broken away from the highway long ago. The usual clopping of hooves muffled by soft grass underfoot. A low fog hung over the ground, the glimmering green blades longing for the sun’s rays to warm their bones once again. Soft light was breaking through the trees overhead, streaming through the gaps in the branches where the leaves had already let go. Ellie hadn’t said a word the whole time.

Joel cleared his throat, deciding to speak to the palpable apprehension he sensed, “Ellie? I just wanted you to know, darlin’, that even if this doesn’t work out the way you planned,” he paused, “Even if we can’t find what you were hoping for, I really loved spending this time with you kiddo.”

Right when he said that, something caught her eye in the clearing. She tried not to scream with excitement.

“We’re here!” she announced triumphantly. She pulled back on Andromeda’s reins to stop her completely. Joel followed suit, swinging down from Callus with ease. Ellie had been following the signs leading them through a long forgotten park. There was a bit of a fence left near the clearing that they tied the horses too, planning to let them free to roll in the grass and stretch their legs the rest of the day.

“So what’s the big deal?” Joel asked, trailing behind Ellie as they neared the edge of the clearing that stopped at the top of a hill.

“Shhh,” Ellie hushed him, grabbing his hand to lead him forward.

Below them lay a valley filled with thousands of monarch butterflies. Most of them were resting in the cooler, shaded part, but where the sun’s rays had crested the treetops and gently floated down to the ground, there were hundreds of them already in the air. Flashes of orange and black against the cloudless sky.

“I thought you might wanna spend your birthday with Sarah this year,” she said sheepishly, suddenly overcome with the feeling that he might think this was a stupid gesture.

Joel pulled her into a tight hug. Her arms reluctantly wrapped around him.

“Thank you, baby,” was all he could choke out. Joel tried his best to blink back the tears, but a few streamed down his cheeks.

When he finally pulled away, Ellie cleared her throat this time, “They don’t stay forever, let’s get down there,” she smiled.

Joel returned the smile and took her hand back in his. Together, they carefully made their way down the hill, still slick from dew, until they found themselves carefully stepping over the still sleeping creatures.

The butterflies seemed utterly unbothered by their presence, floating close enough to touch. Joel lifted a finger out and one immediately lit on it. He tried to keep his chuckle in, not wanting to startle it.

Ellie couldn’t keep the grin off her face. She had never seen him look so young, so alive. She let him make his way over to a rock jutting out from the opposite hill walling in the valley. He sat down on it carefully and stilled his breathing. Sure enough, four, five, six monarchs were resting on him. Ellie pulled her sketchbook out of her backpack and started outlining the scene. She spread out on a particularly sunny patch of grass, stretched out on her stomach with her legs straight behind her, and got to work.

They stayed there for a long time. The monarchs woke up in waves as the sun climbed higher in the sky, then they were off to continue their journey.

When there were only a few dozen left, Joel broke the silence.

“Man, she would’ve loved this,” he said wistfully.

“Hopefully you did too,” Ellie said sleepily, pulling herself up from her spot in the grass and crossing closer to him.

“How could I not? Got to spend the day with both of my girls,” he smiled, pulling her in for another embrace.

“Joel, look,” she gasped, pointing to the sky as another wave flew directly overhead the valley.

#tlou fic #the last of us fic #the last of us fluff #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #if you ship them I’ll slash your tires

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